Brony Pony

by Szalhi

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 1095

My name is Josh. I'm thirteen years old, an amateur writer and a brony. And I swear I had one of the most perfect lives ever. I had no conditions at all, and a great family. But now, I'm in Equestria. But everything I know is a lie

My name is Josh. I'm thirteen years old, an amateur writer and a brony. And I swear I had one of the most perfect lives ever. I had no conditions at all, and a great family. But now, I'm in Equestria. But everything I know is a lie

There's lots of things a brony writes about and most of it is incorrect. But I'm sure this is the truth to Equestria.

Most brony's dreams are to go to Equestria, and I was no different. But we mostly don't see what happens after we get there. There's stuff about this place I don't know. This place, is too weird for a person like me. But yet, I have to live with it. Even if I'm slowly going insane.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-24 06:19:19 UTC

It was not worth it

So I don’t really know why I’m doing this. I mean, for all I know, this will never reach someone else. Clearly it has, or else you wouldn’t be reading this, but it’s really hard to explain what’s happening right now.

I’m, a brony, I’m 13 years old, and you could say that I’m an author, but that’s not the whole point. I’m not at home. I don’t even think I’m on Earth. It’s too smooth and colourful. It’s kind of like Equestria, or maybe anywhere on Equis, although that’s going out of head canon.

All I have with me, is my efficient laptop with 100% charge and even the charger. But I doubt I’ll find a power grid here.

Being an author, I might strive off this and end up writing down everything I say with practically every detail ever. For all I know, I could be crazy, you might think I’m crazy, or you’re crazy.

It’s only been 15 minutes since I got here. And the truth is, I don’t know what to do. I’m sure this is Equestria, but I’m not sure I want to interact. This isn’t a Your human and You story is it?

But I’m still a brony, and I’m sure there’s ponies.

I saved the file and shut off my laptop. There was no power grid here, I was sure of it so I wanted to make sure I got the most out of this thing. I sighed and stood up. No use hiding from the locals. I mean, I’d go insane. I’m not one for being out in the wild, but once my laptop dies, all my fiction, and the saved fiction, is all gone. And there’s practically nothing I can do.

From my general knowledge, I was probably near Ponyville. However I was not yet aware of what world I was on. But it didn’t take me long to find what I was looking for.

Yep, right there in front of me, was Ponyville. And yes, there were ponies. And I’m sure Lyra was there, and I had to make sure she was not the first to find me, although she’d help in explaining myself.

And there were no other humans. Thank god. I didn’t want to be a pet to a pony and unable to speak, but still have full thoughts and emotions. Because being in a Your human And You story wouldn’t be that awesome.

Even when I reveal that I’m intelligent.

And I tell all of them that this is, or is based off a story called Your Human And You.

And that it’s based on a show called My little Pony: Friendship Is magic.

Now that I think about it. I shouldn’t make it look like I know everything about them, because for all I know, some things in the show could be wrong.

And it would be pretty weird if a creature you don’t know about came up to you and knew practically everything about you.

And I’m hungry. Damn it.

I slowly made my way around Ponyville, trying to keep as much distance as possible and up to Sweet Apple Acres. Because the best place to get free food is on a giant farm where it’s practically impossible to know if something was missing. And because they claim to be the most delicious apples ever.

It took me a while to get there, and I was growing even hungrier. Although if you’re hungry, you don’t really grow at all… but it should be all worth it in the end.

And let me tell you, it was not worth it in the end.

I finally made it to the fields and I was all the way up the back away from the house. I smiled and grabbed an apple. These trees are actually quite small. I think I’d be taller than a full grown pony for all I know. Except Big Mac I think. He’s practically a horse.

I bit into an apple. And I was expecting a full rush of taste to enter my mouth.

Nothing.

It tasted like an ordinary god damn apple.

Not to mention that the only apples I like are Pink Ladies. I would’ve though that it wouldn’t have mattered what type of apples they are.

It all came to me.

What’s wrong with all these Human in Equestria fanfics? The only reason why these apples are claimed to be amazing is because ponies eat them. Ponies are herbivores.

Get it right.

I frowned and chucked the apple away. My body didn’t want to take them in. So disappointing.

And I was still hungry.

Maybe an animal would do.

I don’t generally eat meat raw, but I was kind of desperate. I didn’t really care if animals were pretty much extra sentient here. It’s survival of the fittest.

Although, I’m not the fittest person ever, I sit on my ass reading or writing fan fiction.

I saw a couple of squirrels nearby. I wasn’t particularly keen on eating squirrels, but perhaps they could lead me to something way better. I slowly stalked the squirrels, out of Sweet Apple Acres for the next hour or so.

On the way, I also managed to find a couple of berries and other stuff, to suppress my hunger. But it wasn’t long until I gave up on the squirrels since they noticed me and ran away.

I groaned and looked around. I swear I knew this place. It looked so, naturistic. Is that even a word? I don’t even know. But then I saw it.

A bunny. Oh yes, a bunny. A bunny that would surely taste very delicious. I’ve never eaten a bunny before, or anything directly related to a bunny. But this one, looked all nice and delicious. Smooth and white. And it looked evil. Like it was going to get what it wants and that I have to be the one to stop it.

Oh yes it was. It was Angel.

I don’t care whether he sees me or not. He deserves to die. Whether I’m stereotyping his personality and the way he treats Fluttershy, I’m not changing my mind. He might’ve been trying to raise Fluttershy’s calm mood, but he’s gone too far!

“Angel? Where are you?” a voice erupted. I took my eyes off Angel and looked up.

Oh crap. It can’t be.

“There you are Angel, I thought I had lost you I…”

Crap. Game over man. Game over.

And thus my stomach goes on strike.