Cheating the Cycle of Life- A Padded Pony Collab

"Aaaww yeah, nothing better than take a piss in the toilet," Button Mash muttered to himself, as he put the diaper on crotch and re-taped it on "rather than these things."

That begin said, Button Mash pulled up his black shorts, stretched his arms and then walked out of the bathroom towards his bedroom, where his PC, which had been left in stand-by while he spoke to his mother, was. Button Mash moved the black office chair aside, sat onto it and then rolled it closer to the screen, before grabbing the mouse and shrugging it to make the screen come back to life, revealing the desktop wallpaper depicting the Lega Nerd's symbol on a white background.

He then quickly clicked on the train cog-like icon of Steam on the tooltip bar, proceeding to bring out his user page and his list of games. Using his muscle memory, Button Mash clicked on the title he wanted to play, and, a few seconds later, the launch menu booted up.

"Let's see... do I want to play with Sunset Invasion on or not?" He whispered to himself, while leaning forward and massaging his chin "Or maybe I should pull out the Project Augustus? Or even Lux Invicta, even if it works whenever it feels like it?"

After around a minute Button shrugged and clicked on the "Play" button. the screen went black, as the menu music started to play, and Button nodded his head along with it.

After some waiting, the main menu came up, showing the camera raising from North Africa to pan over the Mediterranean Sea. He then clicked on the "Single Player" option and, when the Starting Era menu came up, he pressed on a random one, before going forward to choose the custom game setup.

"I think I'll on 'The Alexiad' Start date," he muttered to himself, as he chose just that "I could play a duke start. The Duchy of Savoy one, with Humbert is always interesting."

As he said that, he clicked upon the region on the map labeled as "Savoy," causing the sound of an harp to come up. Button Mash then pressed the "Play" button and let the game load.

"What? How am I supposed to kill off twelve hundred thousands between Aztec invaders and the British levies in one go?" Button screamed, as he watched the map of northern France he controlled slowly but surely getting covered in orange stripes, and defeat messages flooding his message feed. "I can raise up one hundred thousands if all my vassals have a high opinion of me and if I employ Holy Orders, how can I kill them, since mercenaries have been hogged by those fucking Karlings in Poland?"

With a sound of paper ripping, a new message hat paused the game arrived.

"To Emperor Gioacchino III. May your humors rot in your body. We offer you Enforce Demands on these terms..."

Button Mash stopped read mid-sentence, proceeding to reject it and make the gesture of the umbrella at the screen.

"Come and get both the Italian and Iberian peninsula first!" He said, as he then scrambled around the screen to select and move his armies around.

"Alright, this is gonna be a little delicate..." hem uttered, as he paused the game and proceeded to assign the leaders and organize the armies' flanks around. After around five minutes, the door squeaked, before getting slammed close back up, startling Button and making him look behind himself.

"Who's there?"

"Button! How many times do I have to tell you to change your diapers regularly?!"

"Uh-hu what?" Button asked "Do I stink so badly? That's weird, usually they kee-" As soon as he turned the chair around and looked down, however, he saw what was the reason for the diaper's failure to contain the smell. From his shorts leaked some chunky poop, and his seat had a dark stain.

Button Mash blushed, as he got up and carefully waddled to the door, so that he couldn't feel the mush on his butt. Button’s mother meanwhile sighed from behind the door.

“I’ll have to take that thing away from you one day…”