Chapters 3 - Consulting with Royalty
Twilight settled in Lyra's office, her eyes wandering and taking in the decor. She spotted the license from Canterlot Mental Health that declared Lyra to be an accredited helper of the mind. "So, how's the new job going?"
Lyra shook her head. "A little crazy, pun intended. I want to call it a group delusion. They all think they were humans at one point, but they're all definitely ponies now."
"Human?" Twilight tilted her head a bit. "I thought those only existed beyond the mirror portal."
Lyra's monocle fell from her face. "They're real?"
Twilight grabbed the monocle with her magic and lifted it back into place. "Yes, but they don't exist in Equestria. I really shouldn't say more."
Lyra frowned sharply. "Princess Twilight Sparkle, I need to know this, for their sake. Please."
Twilight seemed to consider a moment before she nodded. "Very well. There's a portal in the Crystal Empire that leads to a world of humans. I visited it, twice. I don't recommend the trip, but I made some friends."
Lyra nodded slowly. "Alright, so, is it possible for a human to just 'fall' into Ponyville?"
Twilight shook her head quickly and waved a hoof. "Impossible. You have to go through the portal. If they came from there, they'd be in the Crystal Empire, not Ponyville. If your ponies claim to just... appear here, I couldn't say how that would work. My personal portal has been deactivated and not even in one piece since the last time I visited, so it's not that."
Lyra scowled. "Would there be... evidence, one way or the other?"
Twilight bit her lower lip, thinking hard. "I never tried bringing a human back through the portal to see what would happen. We've had ponies go both ways, but no humans."
Lyra nodded slowly. "One of them keeps asking for a 'hamburger'."
Twilight brightened. "I remember those, they were delicious."
Lyra went pale. "You realize that, if my patient is accurate, is made of meat?"
Twilight went green and gagged. "Oh Celestia! Well it didn't taste like meat?" Not that Twilight had any idea what meat should taste like. "Maybe your patient is crazy after all. Meat, hmmph. Why would they serve that in a school?"
Lyra nodded, feeling better about the situation. "They must have read the same book on humans I did and just started making things up. There's no sign of magical tampering or lingering enchantments of any kind on them. They're perfectly healthy ponies, aside from a few of them not having a cutie mark despite being well into adulthood."
Twilight bobbed her head. "Maybe part of it is insecurity from not having a cutie mark? You've seen the Cutie Mark Crusaders, imagine a group of adults?"
Lyra frowned. "Good thought there. I should see if we can't find their calling. Maybe getting their cutie marks would shock them out of this delusion and get them back on their hooves." She smiled then. "Thank you so much, Twilight. I'll get right on that."
Twilight rose to her hooves. "Anytime, Lyra. If you think it'll help, bring them by the castle and I'll show them the portal."
Lyra's frown returned. "I don't think teasing them with validation of their delusions would be a good idea. They could relapse. Some of them are showing real promise. Shattered Stone is practically ready to embrace his poniness, if we could just work past his anti-social behavior. Samantha and Sam are also showing progress. I think I'll get them to remember their real names soon, or at least take up new ones that don't sound so strange."
"Samantha and Sam? Those are very similar to one another." Twilight sounded curious about that.
Lyra bobbed her head. "You noticed that too? I really think they just came up with half of this stuff together. It's a real group-problem. That's why I don't want you scaring any of them. If one of them crashes, it could bring down the whole group with it."
Twilight approached Lyra and softly pat her shoulder. "You're doing good work, Lyra. They're in good hooves, and I'm glad you're being so serious about this."
Lyra beamed, filled with a giddy warmth at the kind words coming from the princess. "I'm just trying my best, Twilight. I want them to be happy. They won't be happy until they accept what they are, and they are definitely ponies."
Twilight rolled a hoof. "I would like to see the group sometime. Maybe I could sit in on a meeting?"
Lyra shook her head. "I'd love to, but I promise confidentiality. 'But she's a princess' will just hurt their feelings and the trust they have in me. You understand?"
Twilight gave an uncertain nod. "Oh, of course. Yes. Maybe when they're feeling a little better?" She tapped her chin. "You are taking notes on this, I hope?"
"Of course." Lyra pointed at a journal sitting on a desk nearby. "This is fascinating work."
Twilight bobbed her head in agreement. "I would like to review that, after you're done, of course."
"Certainly." Confidentiality requirements being what they were, after-the-fact reporting was commonly accepted to help spread knowledge in effective treatments. "I plan to turn it over to the therapist guild up in Canterlot. Maybe they'll be able to use it to help other ponies with species identity crisis."
Twilight shuddered. "I went through that once... They have my sympathy. Good luck, Lyra." She turned and departed, leaving Lyra to her work.
Author's Note
It's never a bad time to touch bases with Princess Twilight Sparkle!
Lyra smiled down at Lucy, who was laying across a bed twice as large as she was. "Good afternoon, Lucy. I hear you started school today?"
Lucy gave an uncertain nod, clinking her crystal hooves together nervously. "I thought I was done with school. I suffered through years of it..." She looked up at Lyra. "Equestrian schools are strange."
Lyra shook her head. "They're the only schools that I know you've been to. What's so strange about them?"
Lucy sat up. "We'll start with the lack of division by age. I'm sitting next to this boy pony, uh, colt? He's twice my size!" Her voice become a shrill little squeak before she caught herself. "It's not normal."
Lyra nodded as she took a few notes. "Is this colt bothering you?"
Lucy shook her head. "Oh! No... he's fine. He's actually kind of nice. He helped me with geography."
A smile spread over Lyra's face. "Aw, that sounds lovely. Why are you upset he's there then?"
Lucy frowned and sank back to her belly. "It's just not... standard. I should be making friends with other people--"
"Ponies."
"people my own age, even if I am a little kid right now."
"Filly."
Lucy hopped to her hooves with obvious irritation. "Stop correcting me! Child, kid, youngster, filly, whatever. They're all perfectly functional synonyms!" She flopped onto her belly again, looking tired. "Cheerilee failed me in linguistics class. Me, a solid B+ student..."
Lyra reached forward. Lucy allowed the contact and she softly stroked the filly's mane. "I'll talk to her, alright?"
Lucy seemed to brighten at the promise. "Will you really? What's so wrong with using 'people' anyway? Griffons aren't ponies, or dragons, but they are people." She rolled over onto her back. "Oh god, why am I accepting those things as default?"
Lyra smiled gently. "You're getting better. Griffons and dragons are a part of Equestria, and it's good that you want to be fair to them, even linguistically. You're a very smart little filly, and I'm proud of you. Don't worry, I'll talk to Cheerilee about it."
Lucy was caught between emotions. Support against the linguistic tyranny of Cheerilee sounded wonderful, but Lyra was far too happy about it. "I'm still not a pony..."
Lyra pointed a hoof at Lucy. "You are clearly a cute little crystal filly. Even you saw that."
Lucy groaned in frustration. "But I wasn't before!" She pointed at Lyra's flank. "Why do almost all of you people have pictures on your rumps?"
Lyra's horn glowed as she conjured her lyra and began to play it with her magic, filling the small room with sweet and soothing music. "They are cutie marks, symbols of our special talents. I'm really good at the lyre, as you can hear."
Lucy nodded lightly, listening to the peaceful music. "How'd you end up being a psychologist?"
Lyra looked a little confused. "I am a helper of the mind, a special friend." She held out a hoof. "I'm here to help you remember that it's OK to be a pony, and whatever hurt you before, we can deal with. You're safe with me."'
Lucy snorted loudly. "I'm not some lost child! My parent were lovely people that put me through college. I visited them every year until they died, and it breaks my heart that I can't even visit their graves now."
Lyra cringed as she added to her notes. Parents dead. Possible repression of memories? Obvious love for missing parental figures. Could be symbolic. Maybe neglect, or traumatic incident.
"What are you writing?" Lucy leaned forward.
Lyra easily kept it out of her view. "That's for me to know. Why don't you tell me more about those parents of yours? How did they treat you around the house?"
Lucy became noticeably withdrawn as she described a fairly normal household. The more she went, the quieter and slower she got. Lyra held up a hoof. "You've answered enough for today. Why don't you go outside and play with your friends?"
Lucy shrank. "I don't really have friends."
Lyra gestured outside. "What about that colt that helped you with geography? Or even the others in the circle. You were getting along with them well. You have plenty of friends, just go up to one of them and say hello."
Lucy gave a cautious smile. "You're right. I'm not alone." She moved for the door and tried to reach the handle, but was too small to manage it. Lyra grabbed it with her magic and gave it a soft twist and pull. Lucy wave back at her. "See you Saturday." And she was gone.
Lyra frowned at her notes, tapping the pad with her quill thoughtfully. How could she drill past the layers of deception and comforting illusions to get at the truth? She set her lyre down beside her chair and hopped to her hooves. Trotting over to the window, she looked down on Ponyville and it's population of mostly happy and well-adjusted ponies. This was her first serious case, and she wasn't going to mess it up!
She moved for her calender and peeked at who was coming next. Sam, the earth pony 'truck driver'. Not that there weren't trucks in Equestria, but they were few and far between. Surely if he was one, someone would turn up looking for him? She tapped her chin, trying to plan ahead for the session. Perhaps more interactive means would help get to the bottom of this mental mystery.
Lyra strolled along after Darrell. "So tell me more about your... time before now. When you believe you were not a pony, and not female?"
Darrell swiveled an ear towards Lyra, "You really want to know?"
Lyra nodded. "Of course. I want to know all about you. I'm your friend."
Darrell sank a little. "You just want to 'cure' me, but that's not the fix I need. I need to be a man again."
Lyra waved a hoof in the air as they ambled past the carrot stall. "Tell me about that. What was it like, being a stallion?"
Darrell was guarded, but Lyra expected that. She waited with a patient smile until she began to talk. "I didn't realize half of it until it was gone. I miss being able to aim when I piss. I miss being able to let off steam when I wanted to. I miss not feeling like I'm being sized up by every guy that comes into view."
Lyra looked perplexed. "Huh, I would have thought a stallion would be more leered at, not less. There are plenty of mares in town." She gestured widely at Ponyville. "Not as many stallions. Don't you remember that?"
Darrell frowned. "Not where I came from. There were plenty of guys, and girls, and do you have to keep calling them horse names?"
"We are horses." Lyra rolled her shoulders. "Well, ponies. I am a mare, and you are too."
"Not by choice." Darrell turned to face Lyra, pausing in her walk. "You're a wizard, right? I saw your degree."
Lyra nodded her head. "Sure am! I Specialize in transformations. That's how I found you. Somepony you were talking to thought you might have been transformed, but I couldn't find even the tiniest shred of that kind of magic on you."
Darrell put her hooves on Lyra's shoulders. "Well change that! Do your magic, and at least make me a guy again."
Gender dysphoria was not an alien concept to Lyra, and she pitied Darrell deeply. Even if she was convinced that she was really a pony, she may never be truly satisfied as a mare. "I could try, but it would only last a short time. You know, being a mare isn't all that bad."
Darrell flushed across her snout. "I went into heat! Heat!" She put her hooves back on the ground, only to stomp left and right on them, running in place. "Fix it... please. I'm begging."
Lyra sat down on her haunches. "Alright... Just remember it's only for a little while, and I want something in return."
"Anything."
Her eyes were so desperate, Lyra felt bad looking into them, but she didn't flinch away. "I want you to tell me what your life was like, everything you can remember. No crying, no fits."
Darrell glanced around. "Can we go back to your office first?"
They soon returned to Lyra's office. The quiet of it seemed to soothe Darrell a bit, but she was mostly fixated on Lyra's magic. "Can you do it now?"
Lyra nodded. "If you remember your side of the deal? I'll focus on keeping the spell going, and you focus on telling me the truth, all that you can remember." Lyra focused her magic and zapped her patient. Gender changing was no small feat, and she could feel a faint tension build instantly as she lifted the magical deadweight up.
Darrell squeaked and began to squirm as the changes came over her, now him. He raised a leg and peeked back at himself. "I'm whole again. I never thought I... would be so happy to see that, even if it is a horse dongle."
Lyra tapped her notepad. "This isn't easy. Your turn."
Darrell settled on his haunches, looking so much happier. Lyra wished for a moment she could just make her a him instead of having to go the hard way around and convince her to be happy being a her. Darrell began speaking of his past, words captured by a scribbling quill.
"I was born in a small nowhere town that barely warranted a sign to announce its existence. I worked with cows and horses. They were dirty and smelly, but they paid the bills, so I did my job." He sighed softly. "I never went to any fancy schools. Hell, I didn't finish regular school... I had a girlfriend though. She was real sweet-like. I was thinking about asking her to go on to the next step even."
Lyra rolled a hoof. "Did you have family? Tell me about them."
Darrell nodded. "Sure did! They were good people, and only lived a block away. Mind you, country blocks are pretty big, but it was still an easy trip." One of his hooves wandered down between his legs and Lyra softly swatted it away. A momentary sulk gave way to more words. "Anyway, everyone around me was pretty cool, except that jerk Zev. He can eat a dick and die."
Lyra raised her brows at the sudden strong language. "What did he do?"
Darrell snarled. "It's his fault I'm here. I was cleaning out the stalls, usual daily chore, and he shows up and starts messing with me. I tell him to buzz off, but he just won't lay off. I swear to god he just doesn't have a decent bone in his body. I snapped and shoved him, but he shoved back harder. I fell in a great big pile of horse shit, and came out the other end... lessened. I had hooves, and no willy, and I stank to high heaven. The ranch I worked for was gone, instead, bam, Ponyville."
Lyra began piecing the puzzle together. "Then you were found by Roseluck, ranting about your missing parts, fingers, genitals, all that, and she referred you to me."
Darrell bobbed his head quickly. "I just want to get back... I don't know if my girl's still waiting for me, but I want to see her again, and my folks, and my house..."
Lyra scrawled away, noting Darrell's agitation due to past coworker tension. Wild claims of relationship appear to defy logic, but perhaps gender is reversed? Posting her picture to the newspaper may yield returns if anypony knows her. "Darrell."
"Yeah?"
Lyra smiled gently. "Can you, without looking or touching, describe being male?"
His eyes wandered downwards, but he didn't cheat. His eyes returned to Lyra's smiling face quickly. "It usually doesn't feel like anything, but when you're worked up, it's like a coiled up spring between your legs. You feel stronger than anything, and being with a female when you're like that... it's the best thing. You put the hard part in the soft part, and when you get to the end, it's like the universe is contracted to a single point, and then it's all let go."
Lyra nodded slowly. She hadn't experimented with being a stallion much. Focusing on the magic, and exploring gender identities... She couldn't manage both. Suddenly a thought came to her! Darrell had obviously been male before. The way he sat, the satisfaction on his face, and the description he gave, but he wasn't born it. Someone had done it to him, er, her. She had been given a taste, and now she wanted it forever. It made perfect sense. Lyra scribbled her theory wildly. "You've been very good today, Darrell."
When she released the magic, Darrell knew instantly, and she made a piteous whinny of a cry. Lyra shook her head. "I'm really very sorry, but I can't keep that up." She tapped her chin. "If it means anything, however, I now believe that you were male before."
Her face brightened, a smile on her snout. "Does this mean you'll help me?"
"To be a stallion?" Lyra frowned a little. "I'm not sure I can. We'll explore that. For now, you are definitely a mare, and a pony. We should fully realize what we are before we seek to change that."
It wasn't the answer Darrell wanted, but he didn't fight her on it. Lyra offered a sweet in reward, and they parted with a friendly wave. She watched her emerge onto the street and amble away, heading to the small home Twilight had helped her obtain for them to share. Even the foal was with them, until her parents could be located. Lyra sighed with frustration. How hard could it be to find a crystal pony parent? They all lived in the same city...
Lyra put her things away and headed home herself. Tomorrow would be a new day to pry into these mysteries.
Author's Note
Lyra's doing her best to do right by her patients, even if their stories seem so wild. There seems to be more truth in Darrell's past than she first figured. Does she treat species dysphoria or gender dysphoria first?
6 - Can't Sleep, Horses Will Eat Me
Lyra decided to try a new tactic. While her patients were slowly revealing more information, it was always through the filter that they knew she was judging and analyzing what they said. She wanted the truth, so she made a quick trip up to Canterlot and spent some of her bits on fancy monitoring devices. Sure they were expensive, though maybe Twilight Sparkle would see fit to reimburse some of it. It would be worth it to watch and listen to her vexing patients in their 'natural' environment.
She trotted through the roads of Ponyville with a smile. Putting them all in the same house was about to pay off big time with the information she'd get. A small part of her asked the larger portion if it was OK to trample their privacy, but the other part scoffed. "They don't have to know, and it's for their good." She stomped a hoof before proceeding. "They're all so miserable in their own way, and I'm the only one helping them."
With the house rigged under guise of a house inspection, she trotted away with a smug grin. With her magic she adjusted her tophat, which had the receiving element inside. With a twist she activated it, and began to listen and see.
The first thing she saw was Sam's huge eyeball hovering just in front of one of the arcane sensors. She squeaked and swapped to another view, instead looking at the pony's profile from a small distance away. He was talking. "I'm telling you, I saw her putting something around here."
A pegasus strode into view, Steven. "I don't see anything, man. Relax. Even if she did, we don't have anything to hide."
Sam wheeled on Steven. "I'm no prisoner! I have rights!"
Lucy's voice joined the conversation from another room. "Quick, tell us the bill of rights for pony land."
Sam grunted in frustration and sank to his haunches. "I don't like the idea of it..."
Steven put a hoof on Sam's shoulder, patting before he leaned in and hugged him rather affectionately. Were they a thing, or were they just good friends? Lyra hadn't suspected either of being a colt cuddler, though that wasn't illegal. She made diligent notes on a floating pad as she strode into her office and settled to watch and listen.
Sam seemed to relax into the embrace and the room went quiet until Lucy came out of her room and spotted them. She stuck out her tongue. "Get a room."
Sam huffed in annoyance. "It's not like you're actually young or anything."
Lucy shrugged. "True enough, but good luck convincing the ponies around here of that. I swear! I went into some advanced math with one and she just got this big grin and said I'd definitely get a 'cutie mark' in numbers for sure."
Sam pointed at Steven's flank. "You already have one of those." They separated as all three looked at the fairly clear picture of a photograph of a butterfly. "Looks like you're still a photographer?"
Steven shrugged a little. "I don't know where to get a camera though." He sagged sadly.
Lyra pumped a hoof with triumph. Yes! She'd get Steven a camera, and he could integrate back into pony society. He was already such a nice soul. Perhaps being united with his purpose would nudge him along the right path.
Lucy tilted her little head. "How do you even take pictures without fingers?"
Sam had an answer for that. "I saw this little horse with a camera around his neck. He was taking pictures without any problems at all, but forget that a moment. Why get a camera? What we need is to get out of this crazy place."
Lucy rolled a hoof with an exasperated expression. "And how do you propose that?"
"Well, dying got me here?"
The room went quiet. Lyra realized she stopped breathing and put a hoof over her heart, trying to calm herself.
Steven shoved Sam lightly. "Don't even joke about that! Equestria's not so bad we should throw ourselves off a cliff. Promise me you won't do that." He was staring at Sam with the most charmingly distressed face. Aw. They really do like each other. Lyra felt her mood brightening at the love she saw.
Lucy shook her head. "Even if you were caught in some kind of reincarnation... thing... the next place you ended up could be significantly inferior to our current situation. It also doesn't explain us, unless you think Steven and I just died in our sleep. I was quite healthy, I'll have you know, and Steven didn't sound like he was leading a sedate life either."
Sam reached out for Lucy, but she nimbly dodged away, only to flop over onto her side. He grabbed her on the second try while she was down. Lyra frowned a little, wondering if Sam was a negative influence on their group. "Now look here. I don't know how it worked with you, but I was definitely going off the side of a cliff. This place is like purgatory or hell or something."
Steven asked with a smile. "Why can't it be heaven?" Lyra didn't understand some of the terms being thrown around, but was building in curiosity.
Lucy wriggled in Sam's hooked arm. "I would hope heaven doesn't have ruffians in it. Release me this instant!"
Steven gestured at Lucy. "Stop picking on her. She's not even half your size."
Sam released Lucy to fall to the ground. "Fine, whatever. I'm going to bed."
Lucy got back to her hooves with an angry snort and walked off towards the kitchen. Steven was soon left alone. "It's not even evening yet..." He sighed and wandered out of view of the sensor.
Lyra turned off her top hat with a twist and frowned with thought. What could she take away from all that?
A: Sam is dangerously unstable and should be monitored as a risk to himself and others around him, possibly suicidal, extremely confused.
Lyra tapped her quill against her writing pad a moment, then nodded to herself. There was so much to do.
Author's Note
Is wiretapping your patients legal in Equestria? Probably not. Naughty Lyra. She means well at least.
7 - Bringing Home the Bacon
Lyra looked between Thomas and their guest. Thomas looked between her and that guest. He cleared his throat. "So why is there a pig here?"
Lyra gestured at the pig. "Her name is Miss Curly Tail. Say hello."
Curly Tail waved a cloven hoof. "Nice to meet you."
Thomas frowned at Curly. "Yeah, sure thing."
Lyra nodded lightly. "As you can see, pigs have names, words, and even feelings. If you poke one, they feel it." She prodded Curly in the side, and she snorted. "Ponies do not consider eating pigs."
Curly's eyes widened at the idea. "What?!"
Thomas held up a hoof at Curly. "Don't get your little tail in a knot. I don't eat what can ask me nicely not to."
Lyra rolled a hoof. "Cows talk too."
Thomas grumbled in annoyance. "Deer?"
"Talk."
"Come on! Not everything in this entire damn world has a mouth on it!" Thomas thudded the arm of the sofa he was resting on. "What do those bird things eat?"
Lyra perked an ear. "Griffons?"
"Yeah, those."
Lyra waved to the hallway. "Thanks for joining us, Curly Tail. You've been most helpful."
Curly nodded with a smile at Lyra. "Any time." She shot Thomas a less friendly look, uncertain about the potentially carnivorous unicorn, but she left without further word.
Lyra sat back in her chair, taking a sip from her cup. "I have a question for you first. You said you've eaten pig, and cow?"
Thomas nodded. "Sure, deer, oxen, kangaroo, ostrich. I've tried anything on the market."
Lyra nodded slowly. "Most of those are intelligent species." She waved her hoof at Thomas. "Quick rule of hoof, if it has one of these, it's probably smart enough to not want to be eaten. What market did you find all this in?"
Thomas gestured off into the distance. "They aren't so smart back in America. They raise them on farms, all dumb as a sack of rocks, just waiting to be killed, slaughtered by a man like me, and put on someone's plate."
Lyra restrained the urge to make a face at the description. "I... see. But if you're so used to eating these things, why do you react badly to it?"
"It's not obvious?" Thomas raised a brow. "You told me. Ponies don't eat meat so good. I'm a pony now, so I don't eat it so good. Fucking sucks if you ask me."
Lyra tapped her chin, trying to reconcile the facts. If she could either prove he did or did not eat meat well before, that would shine some light on the mystery. "Alright, for sake of argument, how would you prove you ate meat before?" Maybe Thomas would have an idea, or so Lyra hoped.
Thomas looked hopeful a moment, then frowned. "Hell, I don't know how to prove that... I can describe the taste, but that ain't nothing. I can cook it just fine? But that doesn't prove I ate it either, I guess."
Lyra nodded. "We'll put that aside for now. You can't eat meat now, and you are definitely a pony now. I just want you to be a happy pony. That isn't so bad, is it?"
He crossed his forelegs. "I won't be happy as a vegan for life."
Lyra shook her head. "Oh, no, you don't have to be that, which ties into your question. If you insist on eating other things, society is alright with milk and eggs. Cows are paid for their services, and chickens aren't one of the smarter animals. Besides that, fish is considered alright, and won't upset you in small amounts."
"Fish!" Thomas hopped to his hooves. "I should have thought of that. I can cook fish. How does that hook in with the other question?"
"Griffon love fish." Lyra smiled. "And I think I found how you can put that talent of yours to work."
Thomas asked in a guarded tone, "Which would be?"
Lyra slipped from her chair. "What would you say to being a chef? I know a little place in town that boasts world-wide cuisine, which includes things for diamond dogs and griffons, which means..." She rolled a hoof at Thomas.
Thomas got where the dots were pointing and brightened. "Which means I get to cut up meat and get paid for it."
Lyra nodded. "You won't be able to eat all the meat, but you'll get to do what you obviously want to do, constructively."
Thomas was suddenly on her, kissing each of her cheeks once. "You're a mint-green angel! I thought you were just dicking around with me, trying to 'cure' me or whatever, but that sounds great. If I'm going to be a pony, at least I can do what I like doing instead of sitting around like a lump."
Lyra flushed as she smiled. "Aw. I'm just trying to help, as a friend, right?" She reached and poked his horn. "Have you had any progress up here? You'll want a working horn before you get to work."
Thomas looked up cross-eyed at the new organ. "I don't have a damn clue how to work that."
Lyra nodded. "Then we get you some tutoring first, then we get you to work. You're lucky, being a unicorn. We don't have to put our mouths on everything."
Thomas grunted softly. "Alright, get magic, then make magic cuts... I can live with that. When do I start?"
Lyra thought to her friends. "I'll send someone over tomorrow. They may not be your full-time teacher, so give me a bit to work that out, but I'll send somepony right away, promise."
Her words did much to ease him, and Thomas trotted off with a big smile. She pulled out her pad and made a few fresh scratches on it. She would get him his tutor, but another question nagged at her mind. Something had to set these ponies up. There was just no way they all got this same idea on their own. Who invented 'America' and its humans, and who threw it onto her patients?
She grunted softly. "Somepony out there could be deliberately messing ponies up. Some kind of crazy new cult? Magic gone wrong?" She put the pad down and instead pulled a chocolate free to nibble on, mind whirring with thought. Who would profit from this, or was it some kind of strange natural phenomena?
Author's Note
Lyra sees to Thomas, and understanding is had. A great session for all!
Shattered Stone sat comfortably on the sofa. He always looked comfortable. He usually looked happy. Of all her patients, he was the closest to being well-adjusted.
Lyra rolled a hoof at him. "You are a pony, aren't you?"
He nodded. "Gladly."
Lyra smiled. "Good, but, and I mean this in the kindest way I can, you're not acting like a pony. You're putting off others by some of the things you do. We want to be your friend, Shattered." She leaned forward a little. "Can you tell me what you think is bothering ponies?"
He frowned with a bit of thought. "I'm not sure? The mares seem to like me enough..."
Lyra nodded slowly. "Alright, let's talk about that. You were with a mare last night?"
"Oh yeah! She was quite the screamer."
Lyra held up a hoof. "How many other mares did you have to ask before you ran into her?"
He counted on his hooves, which was a funny thing to do with only two hooves to count with. "Eight?"
"How did the others react?" Lyra smiled gently. "How did they react exactly? Be specific."
Shattered frowned. "The first one slapped me. Three of them were busy, and four said they already had coltfriends."
Lyra leaned back in her chair. "Why do you think they acted that way? It's not in a pony's nature to hit things without provocation."
Shattered looked all the more thoughtful, and Lyra smiled internally, hoping he was going down the right path. "Maybe my approach is off?"
Good enough. Lyra nodded. "You're coming on too strong. What do you tell them, exactly?"
Shattered waved at Lyra. "Well if I wanted to go out with you, I'd tell you your plot looks tight enough to bounce a bit off of."
Lyra went red at the mental imagery. "That will only attract a very specific kind of mare. Is that really the kind of mare you want? Tell me, do you want to start a family eventually?"
Shattered shuffled his hooves awkwardly, looking shamed. "Well... yes... I suppose. But mares are so fun!" He rolled onto his side. "I love being a stallion. I feel so... alive when I'm on a mare."
Lyra tapped her chin. "Well, can you imagine that, but deeper? Because when you find that special mare, the one you want to be with forever, it grabs you right in the center of your body and never lets go. You feel it every time you see her."
"How would you even know?" He frowned at her.
She just smiled. "My Bon Bon makes me feel that way. Every day I come home to her and all my worries retreat under her smile. She holds me when I hurt, and she gives me great ideas. We support each other, and I wouldn't want another pony in the world compared to her."
He ran a forehoof in slow circles over the cushion. "I doubt there's a pony out there that'd fit me that well."
Lyra could hear fear, and a little hurt, and she slipped from her chair, approaching Shattered. "You won't know until you give that special mare a chance. She'll want to be treated right. Is the way you're acting now the -real- you? Is that how you want a mare to look at you, really?"
Shattered sank his head on the cushion. "I used to be a really nice guy. I used to always mind my manners, but I never got any women. Then I came here, and I was a pony. I wasn't the old boring me. I'm a virile slab of... horse." He rolled over onto his back, squirming on the couch. "Mares look at me. Sometimes they make unhappy faces, but they look at me."
Lyra reached out and brushed one of his cheeks. "You have the bravery to find a mare worth keeping. You don't need to act this way. Be yourself, but keep that bravery, and everything will work out. I promise. Your problem before was just not going out where mares could see you."
Shattered smiled gently and rolled up onto his hooves. "I'll try. I swear, I'll try." He stole a kiss from her forehead just under her horn and dashed out of the study before she could reprimand him. She sighed softly and smiled, deciding it had been a good session.
She settled on her chair and began to jot down notes. Some time later her hat buzzed, warning her a pony was coming or going from the house. She gave it a twist and saw Shattered was coming home. He ran into Darrell and watched her a moment before clearing his throat.
Darrell turned to look at Shattered with obvious reservation. "What?"
Shattered smiled. "You're looking very nice today, even if that's not the body you wanted. If you need any help, let me know. I'll be making dinner." He trotted off towards the kitchen without waiting for a reply, leaving a shocked Darrell behind.
Darrell shook off her surprise and stormed after Shattered with a frown. "Don't try to butter me up! I'm not a mare and I'm not available!"
Shattered looked like he was getting a pot of water from the kitchen camera. "I know that. It doesn't change facts. As mares go, you're pretty. I know you're not comfortable, and I'm not asking you out. If you need anything, ask. Sorry I've been a jerk."
Darrell looked increasingly out of sort, perhaps trying to figure out Shattered's new angle. She eventually spun around and retreated from the room, leaving Shattered to cook.
Lyra disabled the feed and smiled. It wasn't perfect, but it was progress. A few minutes later there was a soft rapping at the door.
She opened the door to find Twilight for the second time that week. She smiled brightly. "Sorry to keep pestering you, Princess."
Twilight waved a hoof. "Twilight works. What's on your mind?"
Lyra gestured towards Twilight's castle through the window. "I think I was wrong. I want to face their past dead on, at least some of them. Maybe one at a time. Would you be willing to oversee a few trips through that portal of yours? I have a few theories, but they're just that, and as many theories get shot down as not, so I feel like I'm floundering. I want to help them get better..."
Twilight frowned a little. "What if they want to stay?"
Lyra drew a slow breath before letting it out. "What if they do? Would that... be a failure? I'm not even sure anymore. Some of them are adapting really well. Shattered Stone is turning a bend, and was happy as a pony to start, but he's not the only one. But some of the others... If they can find happiness through that portal, is it even right to say no?"
Twilight nodded slowly. "I think I understand. We have to be careful though. There are dreadful consequences if they run into their counterparts."
Lyra blinked. "What?"
Twilight made a hologram in the air, showing Lyra as a pony, and the human Lyra. "There are two of most ponies. One on this side, and one on the other side. You're very similar, but not the same person. If they meet, the universes draw dangerously close, and that's bad. Really bad."
Lyra tilted her head at her human self, fascinated. "I look really strange as a human. I prefer the pony model, thank you."
Twilight smiled. "If you went with them, you'd look like that." She pointed at the human Lyra. "And you'd have to avoid your copy at all costs. You'd also have to learn how to walk on two legs, and how to use hands."
Lyra waved a hoof dismissively. "I've been teaching them how to move as ponies, I can figure out how to move as a human no problem. When can we go?"
Twilight turned for the exit. "Let me prepare first. Maybe a week?"
They shared a wave and Twilight departed, leaving Lyra with a fresh batch of thoughts.
Author's Note
Has Shattered Stone turned a new leaf, or will he slip back into old habits? Are there answers beyond the mirror portal, or just a new load of questions to the mystery?
Lyra intends to find out! She won't rest until she can help these ponies.
Lyra sat across from little Lucy and their guest, Cheerilee. "I'm glad you could make time for us. I know your job keeps you quite busy."
Cheerilee smiled, putting a hoof to her chest. "Oh, no, for this I can make time. Lucy here has proven to be quite a unique case for me."
Lucy huffed softly, her tail wagging back and forth quickly. Lyra raised a brow. "How have things been in school?"
Cheerilee wobbled a hoof in Lucy's direction. "Lucy is a stunningly smart and clever foal. Her knowledge of math is far beyond that of the other students, but it's not all elevated. She has entirely fictional knowledge regarding alchemy."
Lucy sprung to her hooves. "It's not alchemy! It's chemistry! There's no magic involved, it's just the rules of the universe at work."
Cheerilee leaned forward a little. "It scares me a little. She says clouds can form all on their own and even describes how, though the process is entirely nonsense. She describes fire as air combining with things! How does that work?"
Lyra was no science expert, but what was being described sounded pretty crazy. She decided to give Lucy a chance to defend herself first. "Lucy, let's pretend I'm the student a moment. Teach me something."
Lucy flopped onto her belly with a bitter expression. "What do you want to know about? My world doesn't have magic , so things have to work out on their own, or they wouldn't work out."
Lyra rolled a hoof. "Alright, I accept that for now. How about that fire thing? We have fires without magic just fine. You can explain that, right?"
Lucy took a slow breath. "I can try. Fire is a chemical reaction. Oxygen combines with matter and releases a fair bit of energy, which makes the heat and light. The heat can feed more combinations, which makes more heat, and soon whatever it is that caught on fire is consumed in flame."
Lyra nodded slowly, trying to keep up a supportive face. "What's oxah gen?"
Lucy rolled onto her side. "The atmosphere, at least back home, was comprised primarily by a few key gasses. These were nitrogen, oxygen, and carbon dioxide. There was also a good amount of suspended water."
Cheerilee suddenly butted in, "If there's water in the air, wouldn't everypony get wet, and put out all the fires?"
Lucy put her hooves at either side of her head like she was fighting off a headache. "It's a very small amount of water in gas form that can't get you wet easily."
This was beyond Lyra's comprehension. "Water is wet, except when it's frozen, then it's just cold."
Lucy suddenly sprung up. "I can prove this one! Do you have a stove and a pot?"
She looked suddenly so cheerful, Lyra couldn't bring herself to deny her. "Let's take a little trip, if that's alright, Cheerilee?" Soon they were on their way to the shop/home of Lyra and Bon Bon.
Lyra greeted her marefriend with a soft hug before asking to borrow the kitchen a moment. They filed into the room, with Sweetie Drops peeking in from the doorway between customers.
Lucy spotted a tea kettle and grabbed its handle in her mouth, moving over to the sink and filling it up, then hopping up onto the stove and getting the fire going under it. "Watch."
Patience was rewarded with the kettle starting to whistle softly. "See! Boiling water turns to gas, and that's what makes the whistle work."
Cheerilee extended a hoof carefully into the path of the tooting kettle and brought it towards Lucy. "But it is wet, see?" The steam had made her fur damp. "You're obviously a brilliant foal, but some of these ideas..."
Lyra reached over with her magic and turned off the heat, quieting the kettle. "Well I learned something today." They both looked at her and she tilted her head. "What? I didn't know why the whistle worked."
Cheerilee looked amused, but shook her head at Lucy. "There's another problem. How did you live in steam all the time? That's hot."
"What? No, I..." Lucy sank again, clearly frustrated. "Water doesn't have to be steam to be air, it's just the easiest way to show you. If you fill a bucket up with water, doesn't it slowly go down?"
"No?" said Cheerilee with confusion.
Lyra shrugged. "I've only seen that happen in really hot places."
Lucy gave a sudden cry of dismay. "This whole world is crazy!"
Cheerilee looked to Lyra helplessly. "I don't know what to do..."
Lyra sat beside Lucy and reached to gently stroke across her back. "Take it easy, we're not doubting you. Let's assume, for the moment, that things just don't function the way you thought they should. Maybe this place is different from wherever you came from." That she may just be dreaming it up was still a strong possibility in Lyra's mind. "We can't argue the facts in front of us. Our world, this world, does not work the way you think it does."
Lucy sat on her haunches and frowned at Lyra a moment before she nodded. "O-OK..."
Cheerilee smiled brightly. "I'd like to teach you about the world, if you want to learn?"
Lyra nodded at Cheerilee, then looked down at Lucy. "You have an incredible talent. It's obvious to everyone that you're a very smart pony, but being smart doesn't mean always being right."
Lucy hung her head a little. "Alright, fine. I'll pay attention in class."
Cheerilee clopped her hooves with joy. "If anything confuses you, or you have questions, you can ask me. See me after class if you're afraid to do it in the middle. I want to help you, Lucy." She turned for the exit. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Author's Note
When physics betrays you!
I mean water is wet, rule #1! Ponies are very confused at the idea of modern chemistry, though perhaps their world just doesn't work the same way, considering they hang up ice crystals instead of letting it happen 'naturally', and they shake the leaves off trees.
Lyra tapped her chin as she consulted her schedule for the tenth time in as many minutes. "Where could she be?" Samantha hadn't arrived for her session, again. She was often late, but she never just failed to arrive before, and it was almost past the time of the entire session. Lyra messed with her hat with magic, flicking through the sensors in their house. No sign of Samantha.
With increasing worry, she hung up a 'Back Soon' sign on her door and trotted quickly towards the house of her subjects, hoping to ask them about it. A soft knocking on the door soon revealed Steven. He had his camera around his neck and a bright flash blinded Lyra as he used it on her without warning.
She squeaked and fell on her haunches. "Steven! Warning, please... Have you seen Samantha?" Lyra's vision returned to her with spots, but she could see Steven as he approached offered her a hoof up that she accepted with a smile.
"Sorry, no. I haven't seen her in a few days come to think." He looked around a little, then retreated inside. "Hey, guys! Anyone see Samantha?"
The consensus came back negative. Nopony had seen Samantha in days and Lyra left with a heavy frown and a knot in her belly. She had been considering Samantha for one of the ones to go with her into the mirror portal. Should she have said something earlier? She kicked a rock, sending it bouncing down the street.
"Where did you go?" Her question had no answer returned, and she sagged against a building. Was she messing this all up? She couldn't be messing it all up, with several of them showing so much promise and their smiles... She thought back to Steven whom she had just left. His grin when he flashed a picture of her was brilliant. Cheerilee said Lucy made an amazing speech about how to approach science that had her stunned. Right out of the mouth of foals. Cheerilee said she had to write it down and send it off to Manehattan.
Lyra took a slow breath. Even the meat eater was doing his part. He still liked meat, sure, but he was expressing his unique nature in a way that brought joy to those around him, and without hurting anypony. How could she complain? The restaurant had only wonderful things to say about Sam and his techniques. She only just then realized she was saying all of this outloud in her panic. She took another breath and started a brisk trot.
Who could help her? The Mayor? Twilight? Lyra found herself at home instead. She didn't remember walking there, or when she opened the door, or when Sweetie Drops grabbed her and she started to cry into her shoulder. Lyra sank against her beloved and they were quiet, save for the gentle encouragement of Bon Bon soothing her. She thanked Celestia for her Bonnie as she faded off into sleep.
The next morning Lyra gobbled down the meal set out for her and burst out the door. She spotted a rainbow tail and waved up at her. Soon Rainbow Dash flew up to her. "'Sup?"
Lyra smiled. "Sorry to bother you, but a pegasus went missing."
"No way." Rainbow frowned. "Which one?"
Lyra held up a hoof. "This tall, goes by Samantha? Sandy fur and blue mane and tail. No cutie mark last I saw her."
Rainbow looked thoughtful a moment before she nodded. "I saw somepony like that a few days ago. They were headed to Cloudsdale."
Lyra's eyes bulged. "Cloudsdale!?"
Rainbow shrugged with confusion. "Yeah? What's so weird about that for a pegasus?"
Lyra darted away. There was no time to go over Samantha's condition with Rainbow. She didn't get far, however. About five paces away, Rainbow came down in front of her. "Hold your horses there. What's going on?"
Lyra clenched her teeth a moment before coming out with it. "Samantha's a troubled pony. She wasn't supposed to leave Ponyville at all! She might get herself hurt, or arrested, or worse!"
Rainbow shook her head. "She looked alright to me. She was flying straight and she even said hi on the way by. If you didn't ask about her, she'd be pretty unremarkable. Maybe she's just visiting her folks up in Cloudsdale?"
Lyra crashed to her haunches. Could it be that good of news? If she suddenly remembered her pony parents and rushed home, would that be bad? No, that'd be fantastic! Lyra smiled cautiously. "I know it would be a huge trouble, but could you find her? Make sure she's alright? If she's with her family, leave her alone, and just tell me."
Rainbow nodded lightly. "I can check tomorrow. Schedule's tight today. She's probably not going anywhere, except maybe back here if you're expecting her. I'll check though, promise. See you then." She darted up into the air and was gone before Lyra could reply. That mare was fast!
Lyra took a slow breath and tried to recompose herself. She had a few sessions to get through that day, and seeing their caretaker as a disheveled mess wouldn't help them at all.
With renewed purpose, and a flickering ember of hope that all was well, she trotted towards home to apologize to Sweetie Drops for being such a doofus the prior evening and morning.
Author's Note
One of the group suddenly flees. Is this good or bad news?
11 - Back to School with You
Lyra went down her checklist again before glancing up at the diligently working Twilight, working on that strange machine of hers. "Almost ready?"
Twilight threw a switch and the portal was open, waiting for them. "Don't forget, if you see somepony that looks like you, stay away from them." She looked to Darrell. "Stay with Lyra, and watch out for each other. It's an alien world and everypony should stick together. Thankfully it was mostly harmless last time I was in there, but it can catch you by surprise." She held up a hoof. "You will arrive dressed. Why? I'm still trying to figure that out, but it's probably for the best. They do appear to be dressed at all times. A nudity taboo?"
Darrell nodded quickly. "We don't have fur."
Lyra bit back the urge to correct Darrell, this close to the humans, it just felt silly to say. "Ready to go?"
Darrell gave a hoofs up gesture and hopped to the ready, looking quite eager to go through the portal.
Lyra moved up beside her. "I should warn, there's nothing about this that's been shown to change sexes, just species."
Darrell gave a less cheerful nod at the reminder. "A man can dream. And I will be a man at least, er, human. Let's go." She strode forward into the portal, and Lyra rushed through after her.
Bright colors, distorted images, and the sensation of being pulled apart drew a startled scream from Lyra. she could hear Darrell's voice calling out through the non-space. It took forever, but also an instant, and they were ejected onto cement.
Lyra pushed up onto all fours and quickly realized her body was entirely off-balance. Her butt was up in the air, and her shoulders low to the ground. Why were her hind-legs so long! And she only had fur on her head, though her skin was the right color? Her self-inspection was cut short as a familiar female voice yelped beside her. She was still white, with the red mane that Lyra remembered. She was also a she, as far as Lyra could tell, at least they looked pretty similar.
Darrell sat up and stood up quickly, wobbling a moment before she had full apparently control over her new form. "This isn't quite right."
Lyra tilted her head at Darrell. "You look alright from here?"
Darrell shook her head. "The... it's hard to explain. It's human... like... without being human? And humans don't have these skin-tones! White like chalk and green? We'd be rushed to a hospital."
Lyra pushed up, trying to imitate Darrell's standing position. She started to topple, but Darrell caught her and steadied her. "Thanks. So... this isn't the right place?" The mystery only felt deeper to Lyra. They had come to a human world, only for the supposed human to reject it? "Let's assume a moment it's just Twilight's portal messing up. How does everything else look?"
Darrell started to meander, looking around curiously. "We're in front of a school. Looks like a High school. We're a bit old to be wandering in there, unless we want to pretend to be teachers. Pass. Let's find a library."
Lyra found no fault in the idea and followed the mare, er, woman? She certainly seemed to understand the human world. The strange rolling things on the road reminded her a little bit of an automobile, but they were too quiet, and too sleek, and too a lot of things. Darrell knew how to get past them, and Lyra followed along after her, taking in the new world with large eyes. Darrell suddenly pulled up short and Lyra bumped into her from behind.
Darrell gestured subtly to, oooo, more humans. They were just as colorful as ponies, and they appeared to be a herd, walking down the side of the road in a group of five, all talking loudly about things Lyra didn't understand. Darrell nudged her off the sidewalk and they let the group go past before Darrell shook her head. "This is not my Earth. Did you see their pants and skirts?"
Lyra shook her head. "What about them? They looked perfectly serviceable."
"Cutie marks!" Darrell threw her arms into the air. "They all have cutie marks! How does that even work? Humans don't have them, but each one had their own icon in about the right place."
Lyra couldn't say with certainty if humans should have cutie marks or not. The book didn't talk about them having them, but that doesn't outrule the possibility. "Wait, but it was on their clothing?" Lyra looked down, and beheld her own cutie mark on either side of her skirt. "Huh..."
Darrell followed her vision and choked out a laugh. "This is some kinda crazy pony version of Earth." She turned and resumed her journey.
Lyra moved up beside her. "Well, speaking hypothetically here, does this feel like 'home'? I mean, are you... more comfortable?"
Darrell sighed a bit as she walked. "That's hard to say. I like having the right almost-shape back, even if the proportions feel a little off. But I'm still a damn girl. I'll stick with you. The ponies have magic at least, there's still hope we can fix that."
Lyra smiled. "There's always hope, and I'm not giving up on you."
Darrell stopped, then turned and smiled at Lyra. "Thank you. I don't say that often enough, but you really have been trying to help, and I do appreciate that. It's just... so hard. I'm not trying to be a huge downer the entire time, but I look in the mirror and that's not me! Am I being stupid?"
Lyra had less confidence in calling her misguided. "I don't think... you are. But please, indulge me. I'd like to see more proof that you know how things actually are here, rather than what they shouldn't be."
Darrell waved her forward, and soon they arrived at the library. She moved to a seat and sank into it in front of a strange set of objects. One showed a picture that kept changing, while the other had letters and numbers on it. Darrell began striking the letters and moving a third object around, interacting with the image on the screen without a problem. "Let's try a Google search... No Google?" Darrell seemed to get frustrated before she found... something? Lyra really had no idea what was going on, and tried to just watch and learn.
"Poogle? Hooftube? I'm getting the drift here. It's like a huge cosmic joke at my expense." She flopped against what she had called a keyboard before she sat up. "Alright, what do you want to see?"
Lyra chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. "How about a pony?"
Just a moment later a video was playing showing the rather graphic scene of a horse giving birth. Lyra went red and turned around. "Less ponies!" She peeked and saw an educational video about how to make a chair was playing instead. Harmless, but damning for her thoughts that Darrell didn't know what she was doing. "What about... a mountain." Whatever she asked for, Darrell could produce pictures and sounds and more to go with it. Lyra was amazed. "Wait a moment. You said humans don't have magic, but this is pretty magic right here, and you obviously know how to use it. What's up with that?"
Snickering came from a few stations down. A glance showed the back of a male human's head. Darrell pushed to her feet and grabbed Lyra's hand, guiding her towards the exit. "You sound crazy." Lyra did not miss the irony of this statement and couldn't stop a giggle from escaping her. "They're not magic, they're technology."
"I've seen technology. That is not technology." Lyra frowned a little. "I thought you trusted me. Tell me the truth."
Darrell wobbled one of her hands. "I can't even start to explain how it works without explaining how ten other things work. We'd be here all day, but I swear. I double-swear! Those were technology. Really advanced technology compared to what you have on Equestria, but still technology. They run on electricity."
That word Lyra knew and she bobbed her head. "Electricity is good for moving things or for light." She frowned. "How did they fit so many colored lightbulbs in such a small space?"
Darrell looked surprised. "That was actually a very good guess right there. Again, Not really my specialty. I think we should go back."
They walked side-by-side back to the portal. Lyra rubbed behind her head. "Forgive me for saying this, but it feels kind of odd. I mean, alright, you convinced me. You are a human, at least up here." she tapped herself on the head. "So why are you coming back instead of running away?"
"This is not my home. And I'm not a girl." Darrell frowned and waved a hand at the town as a whole. "And these aren't even really humans. I'd be settling for a cheap facsimile. At least I know where I stand with the ponies, and I have a house, and some friends, and maybe some crazy pony magic can put me back together later."
Lyra made quiet mental plans. The treatment would continue as planned. After all, Darrell had to live as a mare, just as the others were ponies now. She would teach them how to be happy ponies. "Oh! Wait... if this is not your home, doesn't that mean there could be lots of not-home human places?"
"Uh? I guess?" Darrell looked uncertain. "Why?"
Lyra shook her head. "When we get home, compare notes with the others, see if their 'home' is your 'home'. And you can tell them I'm on their side. I mean, it doesn't make them not ponies, but I won't call it a story anymore, sorry."
Darrell pulled Lyra close and kissed her forehead. "If I showed up on Earth saying I was a talking pony, they'd do a lot worse than give me a cozy house, try to find me a job, and a therapist that seems to want me to be happy."
They returned to Twilight's castle, where she turned off the portal with a relieved expression.
Lyra sent Darrell ahead into town before sharing her findings with Twilight. "She is human! Or was? Or is? I'm not even sure anymore... She could use the 'computer' and she knew how to cross the roads and use the doors and everything! She was walking in that awkward body like it was meant to walk instead of being designed to make you look as stupid as possible."
Twilight helpfully picked up Lyra's monocle and put it back in place. "This is becoming a habit. You're serious though? I mean... I believe you, and that does explain a few things, like how a crystal pony can go missing without a single parent actually missing their foal." She suddenly started turning green. "Oh Celestia, that means it really was meat." She sagged to the ground, weak and nauseous.
Lyra put a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Calm down! She said it wasn't 'her home'. She's a human, but the human world behind that portal wasn't the same, and there were other differences. So, you know, that burger could have been hay, just like ours! He said there was a lot of pony stuff about that human world."
Lyra soon left a much-relieved Twilight behind, trotting briskly to make notes about the exciting journey and consider her next plan of action.
Author's Note
The mystery becomes a bit less mysterious, but also deepens in a different direction. What can Lyra do for her patients?
Lyra couldn't keep this a secret for long, and she didn't try. With Darrell knowing, it was inevitable word would spread to the others instantly. What she didn't expect was a card inviting her out to dinner with them all, minus Samantha who remained missing.
To the crazy mare who's working her flank off for us,
You are cordially invited to a dinner with your friends and patients. Dinner will be prepared by Thomas, so bring those carnivorous urges you've been hiding deep inside you all your life.
PS: Just kidding, we'll have veggies there too.
Lyra put the card up on her desk and smiled. She decided that Thomas was 'fixed', though she would see him until he decided he didn't want to come. Having a supporting pony in your corner is always nice, and throwing her 'chicks' from the 'nest' wasn't her style. She slipped from her chair and stretched before trotting out to get to the dinner date. Her good mood souring a little as her thoughts went back to Samantha, hoping the pegasus was alright.
She was not expecting all of them to be there wearing clothes, pants specifically, and T-shirts for their fronts. Even little Lucy had joined in the stunt. Lyra couldn't hold back a snort. "What's going on here?"
Lucy flashed a bright smile. "We're celebrating being human, now that we don't have to fight you about it."
Lyra wasn't sure how to take that. "You all look adorable, but you're ponies. I understand your past, sure, but..."
Steven came up on Lyra and nudged her towards a chair. "But even ponies can wear clothes, seeing as we bought these from a pony. So sit down and relax."
Soon they were all seated around the circular table, except Thomas who came ambling up from the kitchen, also dressed, but he also had an apron on. "Alright, what can I get the lot of ya? Our special today is marinated pheasant in a light apple glaze. It's freakin' delicious."
Lucy shook her head. "I've made peace with being a mostly-vegetarian."
The others seemed to agree with this sentiment but Thomas raised a hoof. "Worry you not. We have specific pony portions for the meat, small enough to not upset delicate little bellies, and it comes with a nice big helping of hay fries and greens to round out the meal."
Darrell smiled a little. "I'm actually in the mood for pasta. You have that right?"
Sam agreed with the idea of pasta. Soon it was settled. Lyra and Lucy tried the pheasant, while Sam and Darrell had spaghetti. Shattered and Steven went with a big green dish.
The chat was idle as they waited for the food.
Lucy reported with a proud grin. "They listened to my idea about the scientific method. Even if I don't remember how to prove water vapor is a thing... at least that got through."
Steven tilted his head. "Water vapor? That's easy." He nudged his glass forward. "Behold the magic, as I conjure water from nothing." He put some ice cubes in it, then poured water into the glass, then sat back.
Lyra tilted her head. "I don't get it. You just poured the water in. Anypony can do that."
Steven pointed. "Look at the outside of the glass very closely."
Lyra leaned in. There was moisture on the outside of the glass, though Steven hadn't spilled any. Lucy began clopping her hooves excitedly. "Oh! How did I forget that demonstration? I'm going to show that one off tomorrow, thanks."
Thomas rejoined the group, and sat at the table. "Don't mind me joining, do ya?" No one objected, and the waiters were soon out to set the food in front of everypony. Thomas grabbed his glass with his magic. "Before we stuff our faces, I'd like to have a toast, to humanity, whatever that means, and to Lyra Heartstrings, who has our back."
Lyra blushed as they drank to her, but then she asked the question that had been nagging her. "So... did any of you plan to go to the human world?"
Thomas snorted. "Pass."
Lucy shook her head. "From what Darrell told me, I'd probably end up as a little girl. At least here there's so much to learn, and to teach. I was looking at it all wrong. I've been given a whole new life, and a world to spend it exploring." Lucy suddenly twitched. "That tickles!" Everyone looked at her curiously as she squirmed and looked down at her flank. "Oh wow..." She had found her cutie mark, which looked like a little desk with a big globe on it.
The conversation broke for congratulations and smiles.
Steven held up his camera. "I guess I had it easy. I already knew what I liked to do. Cameras aren't quite as advanced as I prefer, and I'd kill for some photo editing software and a computer to run it on, but there's a certain charm to these old timey cameras, and you have to use your skill as a photographer a lot more. I don't think it's worth running off to a dollhouse universe of almost-humans."
Sam tapped the counter. "I guess that makes me the odd one out. It sounds fine by me, and I want my fingers back."
Shattered Stone shook his head at Sam. "Don't be so hasty. You'll be a homeless bum there. Here, they brought us to Lyra and she helped us, but if it's anything like the human world I knew, they won't do that."
Sam scowled, but didn't argue it.
Thomas waved a hoof around. "I have this place! Why would I give that up? I was just a butcher before, now I'm a chef, and it feels great. Just yesterday some griffons came in and they couldn't believe a pony had made their order so well." He thumped his chest. "That's me, the pony that can please a carnivorous beast with his skills."
Lyra saw that Thomas already had a cutie mark, which looked like a fork in a steak on a plate. It was disturbingly carnivorous in symbolism, but it fit him well.
Shattered Stone looked around. "Why am I one of the last to get my mark? I was pretty happy being a pony from the start."
Lyra put a hoof on his shoulder. "It's not a race. You just havn't found what fulfills you to do yet."
Darrell pointed at Lyra. "But yours is a lyre, and here you are not doing that."
Lyra shrugged. "I imagine you ran into Rarity with these clothes?" They nodded. "Her special talent is finding gems. She turned that around and applied it to adding a special touch to clothing, and she hardly ever uses her talent. Sometimes it works out that way, and it's OK. Me? I like to think my lyre is a symbol for being a tool to bring peace to my fellow ponies, and for being a comfort when they need it most."
Lucy giggled. "That's adorable."
Sam chuckled along. "That's a cute way of looking at it."
Steven slipped from his chair and backed away, "Let's get a picture of everyone together. Say hay fries!" With a bright flash, the dinner was captured for future memories.
Lyra was loathe to admit the pheasant was not bad.
Lyra woke to a pounding on the door. Sweetie Drops got up first and went to answer it. She barely got the door open when Samantha shoved her way in and fell to her belly, sobbing.
This got Lyra moving, rushing over to the downed form of the pegasus and checking her over. She looked starved and bruised. "What happened?"
Samantha provided no answers at first. Lyra and Sweetie gently hefted her up and got her onto their bed, and got her to drink some water. Eventually, Samantha looked ready to talk. Lyra smiled gently. "Go on, I'm listening." She suddenly thrust up a hoof. "Oh! I believe you now, about the human thing. I've seen it."
Samantha shook her head. "I wasn't a human."
"What?"
Samantha curled. "I was a pony... I suddenly remembered where the rest of my family was, and I went to find them, but the house was empty, and when I tried to leave, something landed on me from behind and started pummeling me."
Lyra drew in a distressed hiss. "In Cloudsdale? I heard it was such a nice city."
Samantha shuddered. "I woke up in a cage, and they wouldn't feed me. They said they'd make me forget again. I'm not a human!" She grabbed at Lyra, pulling her closer. "I'm a pony."
Lyra nodded mutely, unsure how to feel. "It's OK to be a pony..."
Samantha smiled and flopped back, falling asleep.
Lyra slipped out of the room and gently closed the door before turning to face Bon Bon. "I don't understand anything anymore."
Sweetie Drops pulled Lyra into a soft hug and they staid together a quiet moment before she pushed Lyra back. "I'll keep an eye on her and make sure she's OK. You should check in on the others."
Lyra kissed her wife on the cheek and fled the house, mind abuzz with possibilities. Were all her charges actually ponies? What kind of magic could give them such... complete memories? Who would even have such complete memories? She kicked a rock on the way, frustration running hot through her body. "Maybe it's just her," she said out loud. "They came from different places. Let's not jump to any conclusions..."
She arrived at their house and knocked softly on the door. "Besides, that wouldn't even start to explain Lucy. No, they can't all be involved in this."
Shattered Stone opened the door with a smile, which melted away quickly. "You look horrible, Lyre butt."
Lyra quirked a smile at the awful name. "Samantha's back, and brought more questions with her. She's safe. I wanted everypony to know that."
"Do you want to come in?"
Lyra changed her mind. She didn't want to talk with any of them right then. It would just alarm them, and to no end. She couldn't prove anything one way or the other. She couldn't test for anything. Her shoulders sagged. "No..."
Shattered reached a hoof for her shoulder and shook it. "You're always welcome here, Lyra. If we can help, let us know."
The door shut gently, but it felt like the slamming of a vault door, and Lyra had no idea what was being kept in or out. Lyra wandered the town, trying to clear her thoughts and work out a plan, any plan. She ended up at Sugarcube Corner, a costly mistake. Spotting her down expression instantly, she was faced with the town party planner, Pinkie Pie.
"What's the fuss, gus?"
Lyra perked an ear at her. "What?"
"You're looking downer than the hole I dug for Gummy's birthday!"
Lyra tried a moment to figure out why one would dig a hole for a pet alligator, then gave up that line of query. "I'm having a hard time doing my job, and I'm worried ponies are being hurt because of it."
Pinkie put a hoof to her chin while making soft tsk tsk tsk sounds. "That won't do. I know what'll cheer you up." Lyra opened her mouth to object when a muffin was stuffed in her snout. "My rainbow surprise super-swirl muffin!"
Lyra was forced to eat the muffin. It tasted of sugar overload, but there was something spicy in there that teased her senses. "Not bad, but they're still in trouble."
"What kind of trouble?" Pinkie leaned nose-to-nose close with Lyra.
Lyra shrank back. "The kind I should be working to solve, not eating cupcakes about."
"It's a muffin," corrected Pinkie. "Well, good luck!"
Lyra retreated away just in time for her top hat to start buzzing. She gave it a flick and an image of the front door of the human-ponies appeared before her eyes. Samantha was there, knocking on the door. How did she get away from Sweetie Drops? Oh there she is. Bon Bon was right behind Samantha, pointing back towards their house and urging her to go back to bed.
Samantha shook her head. "No! They're going to come after me. I don't want to be alone."
Bon Bon smiled gently. "You won't be alone. I won't leave the building."
Samantha pointed at Bon Bon. "You're nice, but small. They'll just shove you out of the way, and maybe hurt you. Just go home."
The door opened to reveal Thomas, who looked quite surprised to see Samantha, and all the more surprised when she pushed past him into the house. Bon Bon sighed softly. "Please watch out for her. She's very upset." Then she walked away, probably back home. Lyra couldn't blame her and said a quiet thanks to her.
Lyra dismissed the image and turned back towards the house. The first source of answer was up and about, she should start there.
Author's Note
The plot gets more complicated all of a sudden. Can Lyra figure it out?
14 - Defending What's Right
Lyra arrived and, after knocking, gained entry to the house. She smiled at her little ponies. She wasn't sure since when she felt so protective about them, but they were like her foals. Some of them were growing up so well, and it made her heart swell with joy; but others were hurting, and she wouldn't give up on any of them. "I heard Samantha came back here?"
Steven pointed off to one of the bedrooms. "She said she's Sunny Morning? What's going on?"
Lucy shrugged. "She went native, obviously."
Thomas made a dismissive wave of a hoof. "I have to get to work, let me know what's going on later." And he was gone.
Shattered Stone emerged from his room with a mare Lyra didn't recognize. She raised a brow at him, wondering if he was back to his old ways.
Shattered flushed and gestured back at his companion. "Have you met this lovely unicorn? Her name is Deep Thought."
Deep smiled lightly at Lyra, looking her over. "I'm told you're his caretaker?"
Lyra tilted her head. "Yes, that's a good description. I'm looking after all the ponies here." She gestured across all the gathered ponies. "Nice to meet you, Deep Thought. I'm Lyra Heartstrings."
Deep stepped up to Lyra and offered a hoof, and they bumped in a friendly way. "I hope you don't mind my dating Shattered? He's such an interesting stallion."
Dating? Lyra felt the tension leave her. They were actually dating... "N-no! Please, I hope you both have a wonderful time."
Deep tipped her head at Shattered, and they trotted out together like a happy couple. Lyra looked to the others. "How long have they been together?"
Before an answer was forthcoming, the living room window shattered, admitting a figure that was rapidly shrouded in some kind of gas with a loud hissing from a dropped canister of some kind. Lyra summoned a quick shield around herself, but this didn't let her see through the rapidly building fog. She heard the thumps of her ponies hitting the floor and began to panic.
She was suddenly shoved back as her attacker rammed into the shield, but it held firm. "We've got one still standing, repeat, one still standing."
"One what?" She demanded. "Get out of here! You're trespassing!" Not that she thought yelling at the intruder would work. Though she could barely see it, it sounded male. She focused her magic on his outline and fired a hostile blast of transmutative magic, rendering them suddenly into the form of a common farm chicken. Their things fell to the ground in a heap. No longer wearing whatever protected them from the fog, they suddenly got woozy, then fell over. Lyra grinned in triumph at her quick thinking.
She found the cannister still spewing the gas and tossed it back out the broken window with her magic before opening the door and letting the house start to air out. The air in her bubble was starting to go stale, but before she let it drop, she found the chicken-i-fied intruder and pulled him into the shield with her, quickly tying him up before fleeing outside where she could let the shield drop and catch her breath, panting wildly. Her thoughts went to the still draining transformation, keeping it up at all costs.
The gas eventually cleared, and the others woke up, as did the chicken, but he could only cluck and wriggle around, secured by an angry-looking Lyra. Steven emerged from the house, looking woozy but intact. "What happened?"
Lucy and Sama... Sunny Morning came out afterwards, sharing the feeling. Lyra nudged her captive with a hoof. "This pony just crashed in and attacked everypony!"
Steven tilted his head. "A chicken attacked us?"
Lucy snorted. "He wasn't a chicken then."
"Oh."
Lyra sighed. "I'll let him turn back, but be ready for anything, alright?" They nodded, and she let the spell go. Suddenly there was a tied up human between them, and they all gaped.
Sunny Morning spread her wings. "It's him!"
"Him who?" asked Steven, looking between her and the mostly naked human. "Why is there a human here? I thought the portal made you a pony if you weren't already one."
Lucy pointed at the human. "Tell that to him."
The human was rapidly becoming not a human. Bright purple fur exploded over his form and his hands clenched into hooves, and soon he was an earth pony with no cutie mark. Lyra shook her head slowly. "I didn't do that, I swear."
The pony scowled at Lyra. "Yes you did. You took away my respirator."
Lucy shook her head violently. "I don't get it. Does that mean we were human until we breathed?"
Sunny Morning snorted angrily. "No! I wasn't ever a human. I know it!"
Lyra went into the house and poked through his things, finding the respirator and bringing it out. She tossed it in front of the human. "Here."
He shook his head. "Too late for that now. I have to get back. Let me go!"
"Let you go?! You attacked them!" Lyra pointed at her charges. "You're going to jail, that's where you're going."
He went sullen and quiet. Steven perked an ear at Lyra. "I have a few ideas, but nothing solid. Want to hear?"
Lyra wobbled a hoof. "Lay it on me. It can't get any more confusing than it already is."
At her wits end, Lyra, with the help of her patients, hefted up the heavy earth pony, still tied up, and they all journeyed to Twilight's castle.
Spike answered the door with a raised brow. "Uh...?"
Lyra pointed at her captive. "We have a prisoner and need to turn him over to Princess Twilight Sparkle for questioning." She leaned in. "Please be fast, I think he's an alien."
Spike blinked owlishly. "Uh..."
"Who's there, Spike?" came Twilight's voice as she came into view from deeper in the castle. On seeing Lyra and her retinue, she tilted her head. "Do come in, Lyra. Why do you have a pony tied up?"
"She's crazy!" suddenly blurted the captive, wriggling around in their grasp.
They hauled him in despite his protests and threw him at Twilight's hooves. Lyra pointed down at him. "This pony wasn't a pony before. He was a human. Right guys?"
No one could confirm the sight, having been knocked out at the time. Twilight rubbed behind her head a moment. "Let's have a look?"
They hefted up the prisoner and carried his wriggling form into Twilight's laboratory, where she strapped him into a chair and got to work scanning him. "Huh, what do you know?"
"Found it?" Lyra leaned over, trying to see the the readout.
"I found something." Twilight poked the paper spilling free. "He was clearly under the effects of a polymorph recently."
Lyra swallowed nervously. "I, uh, did turn him into a chicken? But that was before he became a pony. You're not picking that up are you?"
Twilight gave a soft smile. "Actually, I don't think it's your spell. It doesn't have your signature at all. Light up your horn for me." Twilight stared at Lyra's glowing horn carefully. "Not the same. This pony isn't a transmuted human, he was a pony transmuted into a human."
The pony winced at Twilight's words, giving them credence. Lyra fished out his gear and dumped it out onto the floor. "He said something about his breathing mask?"
Twilight picked up the mask and sniffed it once before quickly putting it down. "I smell poison joke. This must have been what let him keep the form. You've proven your case, Lyra." She turned on the pony, "As for you, answers, now; unless you want to deal with Celestia, and then the royal jails."
He didn't seem to like the idea of being jailed and wriggled in his bindings. "Please don't... I'm sorry! Please!"
Lyra prodded him in the ribs. "Get talking. Why were you chasing her?" She pointed at Sunny Dawn. "Who are you working with? And how do you even know what a human is, let alone how to turn into one?"
He sagged, going limp at last. "It was just a joke gone too far..."
Sunny Dawn's wings spread wide. "A joke?! You killed my parents, or foalnapped them, or something. I still can't remember clearly. How is this a joke?!"
He chuckled a little. "You're the one that dared them."
Sunny Dawn shrank back. "Dare..." Her eyes looked off into the distance, as if starting to remember. "A dare... I didn't need parents anymore. I'm an adult now. I could take care of myself..."
He nodded. "Exactly right. You agreed to this. You gave up when you returned home."
She slammed a hoof onto the ground. "Why did you tackle me?! What was that about forgetting again?!"
Lyra rejoined the questioning. "Who were you talking to in the fog? I heard you talking."
He wriggled a little. "I'm explaining, give me a moment, please... I was going to make you forget the false memories, and bring you to your parents."
Sunny Dawn shook her head. "What?! Why did I have to be in a cage, starving, for days for that?"
He squirmed again, pulling at his bindings. "I didn't make the potion. You had to fast before I gave the cure. I didn't think you'd have the strength to push past me and take off like you did."
Lyra rolled a hoof. "And the other pony you were talking to?"
Spike poked his head down. "Two ponies here to see you, Twi."
Two pegasi descended the stairs almost as soon as Spike said that. Sunny Dawn's face turned almost instantly to joy and she rushed to them. "Mom, Dad!" She tackled them to the ground, and hugs were given warmly from all sides.
Lyra rubbed behind her head, and looked to Twilight. Twilight nodded with uncertainty. "OK, this is explaining some of it, but not why humans were involved at all."
Sunny Dawn's mother spoke, "They were Sunny's favorite mythological creature."
Sunny flushed red, remembering this. "Oh gosh..."
Steven tilted his head. "So... you weren't ever a human?"
Sunny moved over to reclaim the respirator and put her snout to it. She soon became Samantha, "I was. It was a game... I remember now."
Sunny's father rubbed against one of her legs. "A game you're ready to put aside now?"
Samantha set the breather down with shaking hands, but her fingers didn't leave it. "I'm not sure I am..." She picked it up again and turned to her parents. "But I was an idiot for thinking I didn't want my folks. Forgive me?"
Sunny's mother extended a wing. "So long as you remember you promised to do all the chores for a week."
Lucy shook her head. "Now just wait a moment. Where did the memories of being a waiter come from?"
Samantha fell to all fours, becoming Sunny Dawn. "I made it all up. It was just a story I wrote as a filly."
Steven nodded a little. "You were pretty realistic about it, considering you weren't ever on Earth."
Lyra pointed at the still tied up assaulter. "As for you, you still owe us a new window, sheesh. There are way better ways than gassing an entire house. What were you thinking?"
His ears fell. "They asked me to be discreet..."
Twilight blinked. "That sounds like the opposite of discretion. I've heard enough. It sounds like everything's under control now." She pointed at the tied up stallion. "You're free to go, but you're responsible for that window."
They untied him and Lyra noticed he had a cutie mark. "Does it erase your mark?"
Sunny nodded. "The more you use it, the longer it stays away."
Sunny's mother softly boxed Sunny on the head. "Which is why you should stop using it. Come on, let's go home."
Sunny nodded at her mother before turning to Lyra. "Can I... still see you?"
Lyra put a hoof to her chest, surprised at the question. "Of course, but aren't you cured?"
Sunny leaned in and rubbed noses. "I still have other issues, I think... I'm tired of running away from them, on two legs or four."
Sunny departed with her parents and their hired stallion. Steven chuckled softly. "That was bizarre, but I'm glad it wasn't... more."
Lucy nodded her head. "You're telling me? I'm exhausted. Little pony bodies need to sleep." She toddled off back towards the house, leaving the others behind.
Lyra thanked Twilight, and took her leave as well, walking along with Steven. "Thanks for your help, and sorry for all the excitement."
Steven waved a hoof. "You didn't ask for that. I'm just amazed she was a pony the whole time."
Lyra looked sideways towards Steven as she walked. "Does it make you worry about your own past?"
"Maybe a little..." Steven rolled his shoulders. "But I feel pretty sure about it."
Author's Note
The situation resolves itself without a world-wide conspiracy theory, just another crazy footnote in Lyra's amazing career as a therapist.
PS: Sorry for the sudden escalation, which I hear upset a pony or two out there.
Lyra was back in her chair. Sessions had resumed and she couldn't be happier about a return to the status quo. Sunny had returned a few days afterwards wielding apologies and trying to integrate back into the house. Most of the others were alright with it, but... "How are you, Sam?"
Sam shrugged. "Annoyed."
Lyra nodded lightly. "What's bothering you?"
Sam gestured in the direction of their shared home. "So Samantha turns into Sunny, she's fixed, but she insists on hanging out with us, and asking all kinds of questions about humans. I'm not trying to be a pansy, but she's making it the opposite of relaxing and calm."
Lyra held up a hoof. "No one is calling you a pansy, Sam. Have you asked her to leave you alone?"
Sam grunted softly. "She's a girl, a young girl in her, what, early twenties? I know she doesn't mean anything by it, but it still pisses me off."
Lyra rolled that same hoof, "Let's talk about a related thing, if we can? Sam, you were a truck driver, right?"
Sam bobbed his head. "Sure was, 'till I killed myself with some sloppy driving."
Lyra nodded slowly. "But you have no job now. What would you like to do? Did you enjoy truck driving?"
Sam tensed a moment before he sagged. "You might be right... I really am doing shit-all these days."
Lyra tossed over a chocolate. "You have, but that's not a mark against you. This has been a very traumatic part of your life, which is why I'm asking what you want to do, if you could do anything at all?"
Sam raised a brow. "Besides going back to being human? I tell you, that dollhouse universe looks more tempting by the day." He took up the chocolate and devoured it with barely a chew. Lyra doubted it could have been that tasty that way. "I'm not supposed to be a horse."
Lyra restrained the frown that wanted to come to her face. "As your fri--"
"They're not friends," cut off Sam. "I know their names but not too much more than that. Acquaintances you could say."
Lyra tilted her head a little. "Have they been excluding you?"
"No, nothing like that." Sam leaned back on the couch, sitting in a more biped fashion. Lyra couldn't fault him for that, being a guilty pleasure of her own. "They're just not my, uh, type? Besides, they're horses."
Lyra sighed softly. "We're ponies, and what's wrong with being a pony? Wouldn't you say we've done quite well for ourselves just the way we are?"
"Yeah yeah, that's good for you, but this." He clopped his hooves together. "It's like my fists are balled up all day, every day. I try to undo it, but 'just part of being a pony'. "
Lyra held out one of her own hooves. It didn't feel tense or clenched, but she wasn't a former human. "I'd like you to, if you're up for it, to discuss these feelings with one of your fellow former-humans. I can't really empathize with missing hands, seeing as I only had them for about an hour. They were interesting, but I prefer my horn."
"That's another thing." He thumped a hoof on the arm of the couch. "I don't have a horn or fancy wings. I got the shit pick of ponies, not that I wanted any pick, but it's the shittiest."
Lyra tilted her head a little. "Did you fly or do magic as a human?"
"Fuck no, but I also had hands, and walked upright without feeling like I'm tightroping. Now I'm just a talking animal that doesn't have anything."
Lyra rolled a hoof. "Earth ponies are not 'the worst', they have incredible endurance, great strength, and can be the fastest runners of all the tribes. It's all about what they do with their bodies, but they have the best ones, bodies that is." She tapped her horn. "Unicorns are all up here. Once something's grabbed us, most of us are out of luck. Pegasi are all about their wings. In tight quarters, or, again, once they're nabbed, they're also out, but you can't pin an earth pony easily, especially if he's been training that best weapon of his."
Sam raised a brow. "Best weapon being their body? I wasn't a boxer before, and I didn't plan to start now. Fighting isn't my bag."
Lyra shook her head quickly. "I didn't mean to imply just fighting. Any physical pursuit. Sports, construction, even some arts have amazing earth pony participants. Of course, none of this matters if you want to do something mental. Earth ponies are just as smart as any other. There are earth pony scholars that I feel downright stupid next to."
Sam suddenly pushed up to his hooves. "You should."
"I should?"
"Feel stupid." He turned and stomped out angrily without further word after his awkward lashing out.
Lyra sank a bit in her chair, wondering how she could have approached that differently, and how she could help Sam be a happier person, pony or not on the inside.
It was her last session of the day. She reflected on the other ponies. Sunny had returned and was much more attentive. She smiled more, and seemed excited to be around the former-humans. Lyra would have to be sure she wasn't irritating them, though only Sam had expressed any negative feelings to the presence of the not-human pegasus.
Lyra locked the door to her office and trotted for home, already planning for the next day.
Author's Note
And now back to our therapy sit downs. 60% less abductions!
Lyra returned home to find Sweetie Drops still behind the counter, and two ponies for customers, and she recognized them. Darrell and Shattered Stone were seated side-by-side, sharing candies and chatting. They looked happy enough, though Lyra began to wonder what they were up to.
She crept up quietly to Bon Bon, staying below the counter. Bon Bon looked down at her with a raised brow and Lyra waved for her to come down with her.
Bon Bon sighed, then lowered herself. "Stop being weird, Lyra." Then she rose up without listening to anything Lyra had to say.
Lyra pouted, but gave up her attempt at stealth and stood up. Darrell spotted her instantly. "Hey Lyra! We were hoping you'd get here soon."
Shattered bobbed his head. "We got you a special treat."
Bon Bon dipped down and pulled out a large box and set it on the counter. "They wouldn't stop pestering me until I told them."
Lyra used her magic to quickly open the box, jittering with excitement. "You didn't have to...?" She trailed off as the inside was revealed to be a smooth sphere, like a great big marble of dark cyan. "What is it?" She was hoping for a carrot cake, considering the box's size. This thing could have fit in a much smaller box, being only softball sized.
Darrell reached in and scooped it out with a hoof, setting it on the counter. "It's a focus, for 'especially talented unicorns.'"
Shattered brushed his wing over it, polishing it to a shine. "The pony at the store said it helps keep spells going."
Lyra grinned like a fool. She should have recognized it. She snatched up the marble in her magic and could feel even the touch of her horn's almost passive grip flow so smoothly around it. "How did you get enough bits for this? These things are only made by, like... two ponies in all Equestria."
Darrell and Shattered shared a look before Shattered answered. "Well a lot of it was Sunny. Her parents wanted to reward you for keeping her safe, but we all chipped in."
"Except Sam." Shattered stuck out his tongue. "He didn't even want to talk."
Lyra pouted a moment. "I'm working on that, but thank you all so much. This is too much." She wagged the orb around, considering what to do with it.
Darrell started to look nervous and Shattered swatted her on the back. "Go on, ask."
Darrell cleared her throat. "Well, uh, I was thinking maybe... if it wouldn't be so bad, you could use it to make me a stallion?"
Bon Bon snorted, barely fighting down a laugh. She wandered off towards the kitchen where she could laugh without hurting their feelings.
Lyra bobbed her head. "A fine test! I'll make you such a stallion!"
Shattered chuckled. "Let's not go overboard. He has to fit you know."
Lyra looked confused a moment before bursting into laughter. "I'll keep that in mind." She focused her magic through the orb she held and bathed Darrell in the warm glow. To a human, the difference between a mare and a stallion was all in the muzzle shape, but Lyra knew there was so much more to it, and took her time. It felt so easy to do with the orb to help lay down the semi-permanent tracks. A shame the orb could only hold up one spell at a time, but ah well. Soon Darrell was a fine specimen of masculinity.
Darrell giggled, then cleared his throat and let out a deeper laugh. "I'm fixed! I knew you could do it!"
Lyra waved the orb. "Fair warning, it only holds one spell at a time. If I use it for anything else, it's back to mare for you."
Shattered tilted his head. "So why not just put it away?"
Lyra considered that with a soft chin tapping. She didn't have the orb before that day, and Darrell's joyful expression was something she wanted to last. "Well... alright, for now. Find another way before the year's up though. It wouldn't be healthy to hold it that long anyway." No sooner than she finished than Darrell lept over the counter and tackled her to the ground, gushing his thanks and squeezing her tightly.
Eventually the two departed. Lyra noticed that Darrell didn't mention once any dissatisfaction with his pony self, and hadn't in some time, and felt happy. Both he and Shattered had come around a good way. Lyra took over cooking that evening, letting Sweetie take a break and be fed for a change. They enjoyed their meal together, and the day ended.
Lyra woke the next day and found Cheerilee on the way to her office. The school-mare smiled brightly. "I was hoping to see you. Can you tell me more about Lucy?"
Lyra tilted her head. "Hey Cheers, what about her?"
Cheerilee rolled a hoof. "She's behaving better, and thank you for that, but I can't shake the feeling there's something... off about her. She doesn't know things that should be obvious, but pulls out things no foal has any business knowing. I just don't understand how she knows what she knows."
Lyra cringed a little, pondering quickly what she should say. "Well... she is a special foal. She just wants to learn, and to teach. It's her cutie mark even! She wants to be a teacher like you, Cheerilee."
Cheerilee reacted well to the idea of being copied. "Oh that's sweet, did she says that?"
Lyra bobbed her head. "She definitely wants to be a teacher. She, uh, said she was a teacher in a past life." Not technically a lie.
Cheerilee tilted her head, leaning in a little. "You believe in that? I would laugh, but she really does act like that, doesn't she? Maybe it's a crystal pony thing... Well, thank you, Lyra. I'll try to be patient with her." She walked off towards the market, leaving Lyra to get to her office and flip the sign over to 'open'.
Author's Note
Lyra, getting things done, even when she's not at work!
Lyra sat in a less-comfortable stool in a circle with all the others. She smiled broadly. "I've gathered you all here today because I thought we, as a family, should celebrate something together."
Sam rolled his eyes but kept his sour words to himself. The others leaned forward to hear better, looking interested in what Lyra had to say.
Lyra raised a hoof. "Some of you have gotten to the point that you simply don't need me anymore. You're well-adjusted, wonderful, productive members of society, and I couldn't be prouder to have met and known you. Now, this isn't a race. Like getting a cutie mark, we should be happy when it happens, and not try to hurry it along. There is no prize in this, except for knowing that you are whole and well. As for the others here, I hope nopony thinks I'm wrong when I say I feel like we've grown together, like a family, and we should be there for one another, for good and bad, and today is good."
Sunny raised a wing. "Is this about me?"
Lyra shook her head. "While you are a perfectly fine pony, we have things to discuss still, and I hope you aren't too eager to escape me yet." Sunny looked relieved and settled back on her stool.
Lyra directed a hoof at Steven. "We'll start here. Steven! You entered Equestria with art in your heart, and it's guided you along a peaceful transition to our ways. You've seen the charms of the pony physique almost as easily as the one you were born with however many years ago. Kind, supporting, and eager to make work that can stir emotions in others, I can confidently say that Equestria is better for you being a part of it, and I'm honored to have been the helpful hoof to help you across the door."
Steven smiled, but there was a hint of sadness in that smile. "I... thank you... I am OK with being a pony. I do miss my old life a little, thinking about the people I left behind, but I'm here now, and I'll make the best of it. This is a good world, and I'm proud to be a part of it."
Hooves came together in applause, clopping supportively.
Lyra waited for things to settle before directing attention towards Thomas. "You are a very special pony. I admit, I knew we were all in for a challenge when you professed to be a carnivorous pony, but here you are! You're loved by the community and your peers, and you seem to take genuine pleasure in your work. Equestria didn't just change you, you've left a mark on it." She giggled a little. "A greasy mark."
Thomas chuckled softly at the joke. "What can I say? Grease is part of the job. I always wanted to be a cook, but mom never wanted to pay for cooking school, so I became a butcher instead, and taught myself what I knew, but who has the time and money to try making a restaurant? I'm... actually glad I opened that box now. It didn't just hide a furry body, it hid my dreams, and now I'm living it. People are eating what I serve up, and they like it. For an hour out of their lives, they..." He stopped, failing to find the right words. "You know?"
The clopping picked up again as the room said that they knew. Lyra looked around the circle. Everypony seemed to be participating, except Sam. She frowned a moment before she controlled herself. She had to focus on the matter at hoof. "Shattered Stone. You are a special pony. When you first came to me, I thought it was a mistake. You were pretty happy being a pony, but there were other issues, issues I'm happy to say you've triumphed over. You've not only gotten your romantic life on track, but you've been supportive and caring to your fellows. You are a good pony, and I think we're all happy to have met you."
Shattered's ears flipped back. "Does this mean I have to go? I don't want to leave everypony... These are my friends..."
His honest fear triggered similar soft murmurs of discontent from the other graduates. Lyra quickly made a placating motion with her hooves. "Calm down. I'm not banishing you away. You can live right here in Ponyville, and we can be friends. Nopony has to move away unless they want to. If you don't have the bits, I'll talk with the mayor and we'll work something out. You're on the weather team, right Shattered?" Shattered quickly nodded. "Good, then you could just live right above us if you wanted. Ask the other pegasi on the team and they'll show you how to do it."
Moving out of the home, but still in the neighborhood, was easier to swallow and hooves were bumped around as they promised to not stop being friends.
Lyra leaned back a little. "And that's everypony for now."
Lucy raised a hoof, waving it. "I don't mean to be rude, but what do I have left? I think I've adjusted quite well, all things considered. I even got my cutie mark along the way." She turned to display her flank. "Aren't I ready to graduate?"
Lyra tilted her head. "Well... sure? I guess, but... You're a foal. We can't have a foal living by herself."
Lucy huffed. "I'm not really a foal and you know it! I can handle myself just fine."
Darrell suddenly spoke up, "We know that, but do they know that?" He pointed to the door leading out. "I don't think Lyra doubts you're ready."
Lucy looked at Lyra pointedly, and Lyra gave a soft nod. "Alright, you have a point. Lucy, with wisdom far beyond your small body, you are proving eager to learn and to teach in equal measure here in Equestria. I look forward to reading of your discoveries in the papers over the upcoming years, but, for now, you will remain in the group housing. You don't have to come to sessions anymore, if you feel ready, but I would urge that you do. Even if you feel ready, you are under a lot of pressure, with everypony looking at you like a foal when you feel like an adult on the inside."
Lucy seemed mollified by this, and the clopping applause made her smile with a child-like pleasure. Perhaps her little body was rubbing off on her just a little.
19 - The Scientific Approach
Lyra studied the normal looking brown earth pony and his white mane and tail. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings. I apologize for starting with this, but I don't know what that is." She pointed at his flank, where a double-helix strand was displayed, far beyond her knowledge of things. "What does that represent, to you?" Asking about a cutie mark could reveal some facts about her patient.
The Pony chuckled. “Bill Cheminski, but you can call me William... and It’s a DNA helix,” he informed her. “You know, building blocks of life and all that? As for what it represents,” he smiled widely. “That’s even easier, I’m a geneticist.”
Lyra shook her head a little. "You just said a sentence full of words I don't quite understand. I…" She put her notepad aside and grabbed a book with her magic off a shelf, floating over in front of her eyes and flipping open quickly as she searched for something. "Here." She flipped it around and showed a treatise on the elemental fabric of life and how they combine to make any particular living being. "You mean this?"
He examined the book for a moment, frowning slightly. “Basically... this is rather reminiscent of some early Greek works actually, not too far off from the real thing but not exact either.”
Lyra flashed a smile. "I think I know how we can cut ahead a little." She made a scissoring motion with her hooves coming together. "Are you a human? Or rather, were you one before?"
“I am, or was, as it may be,” he said with a smile. “Now I appear to be some species of Equine.” He looked down at his hooves with a rather perplexed look on his face. “Quite odd.”
Lyra nodded a little, looking much more in her element. "A pony, earth pony to be specific. We come in three common varieties, with a few others being rare exceptions." she pointed at herself. "I'm a unicorn, which you can tell by the horn there." She poked it once, and the book she was holding fell to the ground. "Oops." She reached for it to pluck it off the ground.
“Right, unicorns,” he nodded slowly. “You’ll have to forgive if it takes a bit for all of this to sink in, this is all very surreal.”
Lyra reclaimed her book and set it on the desk beside her. "Well, I imagine it would be, but that's OK. This isn't a race, or a contest. I'm here to help you for as long as it takes, as long as you're trying, I'm happy. So, what is a genetiwhat?"
He took a deep breath. “Well let's see... how can I explain this... alright, a geneticist is someone who studies DNA, or Deoxyribonucleic Acid, which, simply put, is the building blocks of all life.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “What a geneticist does is study how DNA works so we can better understand how to control it.”
Lyra scratched behind her head in a failed attempt to comprehend. "You study acid, which makes life? No wonder mothers get so cranky sometimes." She flashed a smile, amused by her own poor attempt at humor. "I'm going to assume this is something that maybe works different where you came from, because I don't quite follow, but… I can safely say that you are a scholar, a scientist, and that mark." she pointed at his cutie mark. "Is what you study. Can you show me one? One of these, uh, acids?"
“Show?” He asked skeptically. “DNA is... microscopic, I’d need a very powerful electron microscope and even then the images would be blurry at best.”
Lyra scrunched her snout before she seemed to have an epiphany. "It's a religion! You can't prove it's there? You take it on faith?"
“Faith, and the fact that humanity has successfully altered it in the past,” he said, smiling coyly. “So there is quite a bit of evidence.”
Lyra tapped her hooves together slowly a moment before she gave a soft 'ah'. "I think I understand, but we're getting off topic. As fascinating as your work is, I really should know more about you ." She pointed a hoof at the scientist. "How are you feeling? Becoming a pony can be pretty disorienting. I've been there, uh, as a human that is. No thank you."
“It’s certainly different... really missing my fingers, but it could be worse I suppose,” he chuckled. “At least I’m still a mammal, could’ve ended as some kind of insect or fish.”
Lyra stuck out her tongue a little. "Yuck. I tried a fish once, it was very not-fun. I would not recommend it. You're an earth pony, like I said, those are very strong, and tough, and can develop intense bonds with the ground and the animals that live on it." She shook her head. "But don't let that fool you. I know a lot of very smart earth ponies that don't do a thing with that supposed strength but lift a quill."
“As interesting as that sounds I think I’ll stick with my intelligence,” he chuckled. “I prefer a clean lab and a good book to the great outdoors.”
Lyra pointed at her patient. "Good! You buck that stereotype right in the chin. So, besides not having fingers, what's been a pain in the flank about life right now? How can I help you?"
“Well let's see, I blew myself up in the lab and woke up as a pony on another planet, which makes no sense as I don’t even study physics but I’ll ignore that for now,” he tapped his chin. “Is there anywhere I could go to learn a bit more about this place? Maybe a library or something?”
Lyra frowned. "Would you believe me if I told you it kinda blew up? Our librarian recovered most of the books though, so I'll see if you can't visit them in her castle. Big, made of crystal, just north side of town." She pointed in the direction of Twilight's castle. "She's a real nerd, and wears the title with pride. You two might get along great."
“Huzzah! A fellow scholar!” He pumped a hoof in the air in excitement. “I can’t wait to meet her, most of the ponies I’ve talked to have looked at me like I was crazy.”
Lyra leaned forward. "Have I? You're not crazy, at least, not really… I mean, I guess technically? Your perception is not ours, which makes one of us crazy, but you have extenuating circumstances, so I'm giving you a bye on that." She flashed a bright smile. "The fact that you're eager to learn about your new world is much more important. But I'm curious how you'll follow your mark if you can't, uh, see what you work with without whatever human magic you were using."
“I’ll figure it out,’ he said with a shrug. “I know a bit of engineering, and until I know what kind of technology you ponies have, then I can’t be sure that I’m up a creek without a paddle anyway.”
Lyra nodded with a smile. "I have to say, your attitude is just… amazing." The smile melted a little. "You're not holding it in, are you? It's OK to be a little lost at first. You aren't less of a great pony for being a little scared."
“I’m just a very go with the flow kind of person I suppose,” he said, grinning. “And the only thing to fear is the unknown... and while I know literally nothing about this place I at least know you ponies are civilized and kind enough not to throw someone claiming to be an alien from another planet into a psychiatric hospital, so hey, that’s one better than what I was expecting.”
Lyra shook her head. "We have one of those, but we save that for ponies that bark instead of talk or something equally as difficult to work with. You have some unusual ideas, but you're talking, and not hurting anypony around." She pulled out a picture of a house and showed it. "This is where the group lives, other ponies like you, who were human, but now are not. We have a weekly group meeting to get to know one another and support each other. Attending the first is mandatory. That's OK?"
He nodded. “Sure, I’ll be there, might be nice to meet some folks in the same situation.”
Lyra slipped from her chair and approached, offering a hoof. "I think you'll get along just fine. Welcome to Equestria."
He smiled and shook her hoof. “Thank you... I’m certain this will be quite an interesting experience.”
Lyra pressed her hoof against his, shaking lightly before demonstrating a hoof-bump to be helpful. "Both are considered polite, be ready for either. Have a good evening." She gave directions to the house, not that far away from the office. "They always have dinner cooking by now, so you're good to go."
He smiled. “Thanks for your help Ms. Heartstrings, I must say this is one of the more pleasant therapy sessions I’ve had.”
Lyra moved for the door, opening it with her magic. "I'm here as a friend first. I want to help you be all the pony you can be, and to be happy. If you have any questions, or something bothers you, you come here and let me know."
He smiled as he trotted out the door. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Author's Note
Our first reader-participant! Put your hooves together for Bill, our poor lost scientist turned pony, and he didn't even have the luck to be something with a hand.
Lyra regarded the bat pony mare a moment, tapping her chin. "Begging your pardon, ma'am, but I've heard different rumors about this, and I'd rather get it straight from the horse's mouth, as it were. What term do you prefer I use for your tribe?" She pointed at herself. "I'm a unicorn, but everyone basically agrees on that. I've heard no less than four different things."
She tilted her head, "Oh wait, I'm being rude. I'm Lyra Heartstrings, and you were referred to me because you need a friend to help out in a difficult situation. What seems to be the problem, in your own words. Tell me all about you. I'm not here to judge and point fingers, because I don't have those." She smirked at her lame joke, and looked at her with ready quill and hopefully welcoming demeanor.
“Your joke is bad and you should feel bad...” the mare said with small, tired smile. “My name is Floyd, and yeah, that's not a woman’s name,” she paused letting out a yawn. “As for what I am... I dunno, I’m half tempted to say Dracula pony but you wouldn’t get the reference.”
Lyra shook her head a little, then brightened. "That sounded like one of those bad horror movies. Do you prefer vampony?" She tapped at her chin softly in thought. "Let's put that aside, hello Floyd. Were you male before then?"
“Yup,” Floyd said with a nod, rubbing at her eyes, “Not too big a loss really. I wasn’t using it for anything anyway.” She yawned again, giving Lyra an annoyed glare, “You really couldn’t have put this at a later time? I mean, I wasn’t a morning person before but now I’m freaking nocturnal!”
Lyra smiled a little. "I'm not nocturnal, I admit, but I'll try to schedule you later, say, in the evening?" She pulled over her notepad and made a quick scribble. "While we're getting to know one another though, tell me what's bothering you most, besides it being early?"
“Besides me jonesing hard for a cigarette?” Floyd asked, giving her head a shake, blinking a few times. “I uh... have anger issues... uh... I may have... overreacted to, I dunno, a racial slur?”
Lyra's ears twitched softly. "A slur against you being a, uh, vampony, or something else?" she asked curiously, looking Floyd over. "I do hope you'll tell me if I say something you don't like. There's no reason for violence in this office."
“I highly doubt you, a mint green unicorn, could insult me and yeah, guy called me ‘nightmare spawn’,” Floyd said, trying to gesture with her hooves, glaring at them. “Now that's not much of an insult to me but just the look of disgust in his eyes,” she shuddered a little, her lips curling back into a fanged sneer before she let it go with a sigh, “I gave him a nice shiner for his trouble.”
Lyra frowned and clucked her tongue. "That was uncalled for, on both your parts. Please don't resort to violence to settle things with other ponies." She sat up a bit more straight. "Was this here in Ponyville? It doesn't sound like the usual resident."
“Nah it was up in Canterlot,” Floyd said, shrugging, “Bluey sent me down here for therapy. Nice guy but I think he’s afraid I’ll end up punching a noble or something. Not that I would, I don't normally get violent. Must be the withdraw.”
"From cigarettes you mean?" Lyra tilted her head. "We do have those, though never tried one myself… Are cigars alright? I think a pony sells those in town." She suddenly had a thought. "Uh, no smoking in here please."
“Oh no,” Floyd said, waving her hooves, “I’m not getting sucked back in. My lungs are untainted right now, I’m not going to ruin them again. I’ll just find something else for the stress. I dunno, sunflower seeds maybe?”
Lyra pulled a wrapped candy out of a pouch at her beltline and floated it over to Floyd. "I can't promise it's not habit forming, but you'll never be sad you had one."
“It smells good,” she said, unwrapping it and taking a bite. “Oh sweet Jesus is that good!” She smiled brightly, seeming to be more awake. “Almost as good as the jerky!”
Lyra grinned triumphantly. "My marefriend Sweetie Drops made it. Chocolates are her thing, and she's the best I ever met." She leaned in, waggling her brows. "Maybe that's why I didn't let her go."
“I wouldn’t know,” Floyd said shrugging, “I don’t feel that way about anyone. Never have. Hell, I couldn’t even tell ya how to flirt.”
Lyra tilted her head. "Does that bother you? Did you want to find a special somepony to be with?"
“Nope,” she said, shaking her head, “I’m asexual; I don’t find either gender attractive. Doesn’t stop others from hitting on me though. Most aren’t sure how to react when I let them know and things get awkward real quick like. When my parents found out... well... things went downhill with us quickly.”
Lyra shook her head. "I'm not sure why somepony would be that… oh… Were they looking for grandfoals?" She huffed softly. "Me and Bonnie aren't having foals unless we decide to adopt, and I'm not feeling that particular itch. There's nothing wrong with not looking for ponies for that specifically, but companionship is good?"
“Hey, I had friends!” Floyd said, frowning, “I wasn’t a shut in, I just have no physical attraction to anyone. It kinda made health class pointless but whatever.” She took a breath, looking up at the ceiling. “My folks didn’t exactly like my orientation, or lack thereof but that was the tip of it all. They wanted me to be a lawyer and instead I went to film school. I... haven’t spoken to them in the past two years.”
Lyra held up a hoof placatingly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to imply you didn't have any friends, just saying. I'm glad to hear that wasn't the case." She let out a slow breath. "It's a harsh thing to say, but your parents are far beyond our reach right now. Does that bother you?"
“Yes, yes it bothers me a lot,” Floyd said, staring at the ground. “I’ll never be able to patch things up with them. I’ll just be stuck here, looking like something out of “Spookie's House of Jumpscares.” I mean look at this.” She pointed to her eyes. “It’s like the universe is taunting me. One of these is still the original color and the other is pink! Pink is not a natural color!” She paused before bursting out laughing, tears flowing down her muzzle.
Lyra opened her mouth to refute a point when the laughing and crying begins and she clammed up. She slipped from her chair and quickly approached Floyd, reaching to pat her shoulder. "It's OK. One thing we ponies have a lot of is color variety. Pink isn't so bad, really." She speaks softly and encouragingly. "You don't look horrible, you look, uh, exotic. If I wasn't already, you know, married, and your counselor, and you weren't asexual, and… I'll be quiet now."
“You know... if I was pink... I could totally call myself Pink Floyd,” Floyd said with a grin despite the tears, “Oh man, no one is ever going to get that joke.” She reached up and wiped at her eyes, letting out a loud yawn. “Well at least I know I can attract mythological creatures. That's one hell of a self-esteem boost.”
Lyra snorted softly. "Around here, humans are the myths. I have a book of mythological creatures just over there with humans in it. I'll spare you that particular surprise for today." She pulled out a scrap of paper with instructions. "The house you'll be staying at isn't far, and there's good news. The others are just like you, once-humans. They may even get that joke of yours? If you're… from the same place? We're still trying to figure that out."
“That sounds good to me,” Floyd said, stifling another yawn, “Be nice to talk to people who aren’t high class snobs, even if Blue is cool. Wait... there are others like me? I wasn’t expecting that, but then I’m an adorable ball of fuzz talking to a unicorn.”
Lyra grinned. "You said it, not me." She made an idle scribble. "You're not alone. I have a few patients lined up after you, surprisingly. I think somepony heard that I had some success with other once-humans and decided I was an expert, so here we are." She tapped her chin with the quill she floated. "I suppose that's OK, if it means I can help ponies out."
“Hey, as long as you're helping people right?” Floyd asked, swaying a little, “I think... I should get to bed before I pass out on your couch, and you don't want that. I slept through a fist fight once. Cops came and everything and I just slept on like nothing was happening.”
Lyra opened the door for Floyd, allowing her to depart. "There's a weekly meeting, they'll fill you in at the house. Have a good rest and see if you can't explore the town a little. The ponies around here are mostly nice types and they like making friends, especially the pink one. You'll either love her or hate her."
The only response Lyra got was a snore, as Floyd had indeed passed out on the couch, her limbs sprawled out as she snoozed peacefully. She mumbled a bit, rolling onto her back, a smile gracing her muzzle.
Lyra shook her head before her magic engulfed her guest and she carefully hefted up the sleeping bat pony into the air. She made to carry her off to the house with a smile, hoping everyone would get along.
Author's Note
Our next guest appearance. Collabs are fun, and magic, much like friendship. I blame him for all typos present.
Lyra looked across at her small patient curiously. Was this a damaged foal, or perhaps one like Lucy? Would they adjust as well? These questions all ran through her mind before she softly pushed them back and decided to just accept this little unicorn as his own special case, who should be treated fairly and well.
"I'm sure you're a little nervous," she began as she produced her notepad and quill for note taking, "But you have nothing to be worried about. I'm Lyra Heartstrings, and I'm here to help. Now I'm told you don't think you're a pony, so, let's start there, and with an introduction. Tell me about you, and don't worry about being right or wrong." With a bit of magic, her lyre appeared. "If it helps you relax, I can make a little music for us."
"M-my name is Cyrus Smith. I-I like music. I like to pre-perform. I-I not actually good at describing myself. Sorry." The currently young pony managed to get out. He was finding it hard to talk about himself, and looked as though he was trying to hide inside himself.
Lyra gave a gentle smile, rolling a hoof. "Don't worry, you're not being tested here. What do you perform?"
"I-I liked to act. I re-remember that it he-helped with my stutter before. I liked to sing also, bu-but I haven't tried recen-recently. A-at least not since I sh-showed up here." Cyrus actually came out of himself a bit at this, though he still looked ready to disappear if he could.
"That sounds lovely." Lyra leaned forward a little. "I'd love to hear that, when you're more settled in. How old were you, before you came here? Tell me more about the you before pony."
"I-I was twenty. I lived in a-a town that revolved around its college. I th-think I was walking through the woods. I was never that in-interesting." With this he lost what bit of confidence he had managed to regain.
Lyra shook her head. "I disagree. You're the most interesting pony in this room." She smiled gently. "You're a traveler from another world. How cool is that? Now, uh, twenty? Is that… young for a human?"
"I-it would de-depend on who you ask. The average age of maturity varied from eighteen to twenty-five depending on what you believed. And since most people lived until they were in their eighties it really varies." Factual knowledge he could handle. He even began to stand straighter than he had been before. "I-is twe-twenty young for a p-p-pony?" Once more the small pony was building up a wall around himself.
Lyra made a quick note. "Like you said, it can vary a bit, like on if they have a cutie mark or not, and if they're still in school or apprenticeship or they've set out on their own career already." She looked up a moment. "I was pretty young when I started playing my lyre, but then I turned it around and started helping ponies here. Maybe I was too young? No matter." She waved a hoof lightly. "So you were pretty young, but you're definitely younger than that now." She hmmed. "You should look at it like a gift. You just got free years of life."
Cyrus looked over his new body. Though he wouldn't admit it he could feel a small smile as he looked over himself. He did actually like his light blue fur and his new hair. However, his happiness faded somewhat as the realities of a second childhood set in. "M-maybe, b-but I was so close to being done with school. I-isn't there some way for m-me to s-skip it. I-I mean the hi-history of a relatively new world could be int-interesting. B-but I-i. I guess I just don't know what I-I go-going to do now. I d-don't even know w-where to start." What happiness he had remaining was once again gone.
Lyra put a hoof to her chin. "Well, you could go with the flow and attend the local school here in town, or… One of your fellow once-humans was a teacher, and she's just as little as you are. She could teach you, and I think it'd make her very happy, as long as you took it seriously?"
The very thought of not taking school seriously offended him. "O-of course I would take it seriously! Even if I don't want to start school all over again education is serious business and should be taken seriously! Do you know what she used to teach?!" Cyrus didn't even notice that he was standing up and speaking with more confidence than he had shown the entire time he had been in Lyra's office.
Lyra blinked at the obvious question that had eluded her to that point. "I never asked! Uh… We'll have to find out… But right now, it's all about learning about Equestria. You know your math and writing, right?"
"Yeah, though I haven't really studied either in a few years. I managed to test out of them back h-home." The homesickness he had managed to ignore suddenly came back into focus. He quickly deflated into himself again.
Lyra came to an answer and clopped her hooves together. "Alright. I'm no teacher, so here's what I think. We'll get Miss Cheerilee and Lucy, that's our local teacher and the once-human, together and they'll measure where you stand and where we should go. Uh, Cheerilee's not really up on the once-human thing, so be gentle with her."
Though he had never been nervous about meeting a teacher before; the fact that she didn't know abou the humans upped his already spiked nerves. "O-ok, wh-when can we se-set that u-up." The talk of Miss Cheerilee's lack of knowledge regarding humanity reminded Cyrus of the main reason he had even been sent here. "Ad-addi-additionally, I-I th-think that I h-have put an u-unne-unnecessary amount o-of stress on the fo-foster system. S-so i-is th-there m-maybe s-somewhere I co-could st-stay?"
Lyra grew curious, perking an ear at the small one. "What happened? And yes, we have a home for once-humans to stay until they get their hooves under them, then they get their own house. For now, I'm keeping all the foals there, adjusted or not. We can't have foals just wandering around, smart or not."
Being aware of a home for himself did nothing to quell the growing panic in his eyes as struggled to look anywhere but at Lyra. "I-I m-may have wo-woke up h-here in Manha-Manehatten a-and I might have be-been pla-placed in a f-foster h-house and I might have ran away and accidentally hid in a theatre an then I got stuck in the rafters down andalmosthurtmyselfwhenIwasgettingdownbutIwascaughtbyapassingpegasusandthensomeonefinallylistenedtomesayIdidn'tusetobeaponyandamIramblingagainI'msorrybutIcan'tseemtostopbutIthinkthatcoversitandI'mpanicingagainaren'tI.I'msorry." Cyrus found himself on the verge of tears from his panic attack, and he found himself unable to stop hyperventilating.
Lyra reached to pat the foal on the shoulder, and found herself thinking of the little thing as a foal for a moment before she reminded herself of the odd truth of the matter. "Take a soft breath, it'll be OK. I trust you won't be climbing any rafters here in Ponyville, right?" She quietly thanked the fates that there weren't too many places for a foal to get lost in the once-human house.
Lyra's presence was surprisingly calming to Cyrus and he found himself calming. "R-right. I really didn't me-mean to get st-stuck there. It's j-just, theatres calm me and it was unlocked and I was just exploring and the door up there closed behind me and locked itself and I am starting to panic again so I'm just going to stop now." In order to stop himself from panicking again; the now foalish human was physically holding his mouth closed with his front hooves. His embarrassment was easily evident on his face.
Lyra shook her head. "It's alright. We're just two ponies, talking. I'm not here to judge you, and you were confused, so it's OK." She pulled a chocolate from her pouch and offered it to him. "Try this, my Bon Bon made it for me."
His hooves quickly fell from his face as his eyes focused on the chocolate. "I really shouldn't, but if you insist." Cyrus reached a hoof out to grab it before he realized what he was doing. He knew that it would most likely just fall if he tried. Disappointment was obvious on his face. "Though, h-how am I s-supposed to g-grab it. I-I h-haven't figured out how to d-do that myself yet."
Lyra lifted the chocolate within reach of that little snout. "Don't worry, champ. We'll get you a tutor for that horn of yours. There's no escaping class for that, I'm afraid, but you'll have fun with it. Thomas did, and now he's a crazy good chef, slashing things up with his knives like you'd never believe."
There was no embarrassment to be had as Cyrus ate the piece of chocolate whole."That was that best chocolate I have ever had." It was true, he was even tempted to do the classic childhood tactic of pouting for more. That thought was quickly smashed before it could fully take hold. He was still an adult even if he didn't look like one. "T-thank you. I gu-guess I sh-should head over t-to that h-house you mentioned."
Lyra opened the door for him. "I'll show you there. I know the whole world probably feels really large, but you're not alone. You'll be alright. Welcome to Equestria."
Author's Note
The last intro for a bit. I think we should let these chars 'decompress' as it were, push some plot, let things happen before any new faces.
Lyra walked nervously to the town hall. It wasn't often that she was called down there and the sudden arrival of the summon made her nervous. Had she not paid any of her taxes? She was fairly certain she was current. With a shake of her head, she trotted forward with determination, sparing a wave at Carrot Top on the way past her.
It was a clear day, though the weather schedule warned of rain in the evening. A moderate drenching, which made Lyra bring her umbrella, in case business went long. She ascended the stairs of the town hall, looking up to where a hole had once existed. "Glad that's fixed. It made the whole town look ugly."
She walked inside and saw a secretarial earth pony parked behind the desk. Lyra approached with a bright smile. "Heya! I was told to come down here?"
The pony looked at her with boredom a moment before she pulled over a sheaf of paper closer. "Name?"
"Lyra, Lyra Heartstrings?"
"Oh!" The pony perked up. "I remember you. You played that pretty instrument during the Summer Sun Celebration a few years ago, didn't you?"
Lyra smiled gently, pleased to find a fan. "I'm not playing music these days, but yes, that was me."
She extended a hoof. "Triplicate Fill, a pleasure to meet you in person, Miss Heartstrings." Lyra extended her own hoof and they met with a soft clop. "According to this, you're expected in room 106. Have a nice day." She sang the last part, seemingly shaken out of her funk with the arrival of a favored musician.
Lyra couldn't help herself and conjured her lyre, playing a few soft notes to Triplicate's obvious pleasure before she moved to meet with destiny, whatever that was. She pressed through a closed, but unlocked, door and entered a dark room, only for the door to shut with a click and the sound of a lock. It was then pitch dark.
She felt breath on an ear, "You are timely, we appreciate that."
Lyra leaped forward and span around, her heart beating wildly as she realized her attacker was Luna, the princess, and not some random mugger that had somehow gotten into town hall.
"We apologize if we alarmed you," said Luna as she gestured to a seat in the center of the room. "You have knowledge we would know, and there are warnings we must share. You are not in trouble, if that is what you fear."
Lyra moved towards the seat, trying to control her rapid pulse. "S-sure, no problem. I-I didn't d-d-do anything wrong, did I?"
Luna shook her head softly. "Neigh, you are innocent of any crime we are aware of. Please, be at ease. Pretend we are any other pony, of no importance."
More easily said than done, Lyra couldn't envision Luna as anything but Luna, ruler of Equestria alongside her sister. "Right... So how can I... help you?" She sank onto the chair, legs folded beneath her as she watched Luna with fear and awe.
Luna rolled a hoof. "The dream world has been visited by an increasing number of foreign minds. At first we feared invasion, but we have heard that they are lost ponies with wild claims, or would be wild... if not for the fact that we have seen their visions and memories."
Lyra sat forward, suddenly becoming much more aware of what Luna was likely speaking of. "The humans?"
Luna smiled brightly. "We were certain you knew of them! They are not supposed to come through the mirror. We have checked with Cadance, and she reports no disturbance. Pray tell, how are these humans arriving?"
Lyra held up a hoof. "A few things there, uh, your highness. First, none of the ones I talked to came through the mirror. Second, the mirror world is not their world. Third, we're increasingly certain their worlds are not all the same world."
Luna frowned sharply, an expression that worried Lyra. "That is most troubling. But it is little of your concern, save to see that the humans in your care are safe in both meanings of the word. Do not allow them to harm themselves or other ponies, yourself included."
Lyra shook her head. "Well, of course. I don't want to be hurt. I mean, most of them are pretty nice, just confused and lost. They miss their old bodies. I mean, so would I. I, er, visited the mirror world. I wouldn't want to go back unless I had to."
Luna leveled a hoof at Lyra. "If you are certain the mirror world is not theirs, do not let them go there. The damage of their travel should be minimized, and there is no reason to spread the harm to that world."
Lyra shrank a little. "I kinda went with one of them... They're back now?"
Luna snorted loudly, looking irritated. "We see. Well, it is good that they are returned. Did you see anything amiss about the other world while you visited?"
"Everything?"
Luna sighed and reached out, patting Lyra on the head. "We apologize. You are a musician and professional friend, not a dimensional scholar."
Lyra didn't really like the term 'professional friend' and made a little face. It sounded too much like a consort or other such thing, even if it wasn't inaccurate. She liked being a friend, just didn't like that title. "We didn't do too much, just looked mostly. She used a 'computer' to do some research, then we came back. It was a few hours at most."
Luna noded. "Then all is likely well, but do not repeat it. We feel an explanation is called for. The worlds are not static in the universe. A better analogy would be that our world is a large bubble, with some smaller bubbles that cling to it, those are the mirror worlds. They reflect much of our own world, like the mirrors they are named after. We float in the universe, usually peacefully, but when this happens, it means our bubble has brushed up against another large bubble. Your humans have come from that large bubble and its smaller mirror bubbles, landing on our large bubble. Do you understand?"
Lyra let the idea jiggle around in her head a moment, giving a hesitant nod. "Alright... So what should I do? How do we get them back? Can they get back?"
Luna held up a hoof. "These questions have not answers yet. If their bubble has moved on, they will remain here forever. If it still touches ours, we may yet get them home, but unless they came from the primary bubble, finding the exact mirror world of their own may prove impossible."
Lyra's expression turned to sorrow as she imagined most of her new friends came from the smaller worlds, and were truly stranded forever. "I don't want to tell them that. What are their chances?"
Luna tapped her chin. "If they all come from different worlds, then only one may be from the primary world, but there is an additional complication. We could not determine with 100% accuracy which of them is it. It may be kinder to simply not try to return them at all."
Lyra hopped to her hooves. "No! This should be their choice... If they find out we had a way to get to a place so close to home and we didn't even offer the chance? They would hate us... and I couldn't even blame them for it."
Luna reached out and gently brushed a few tears Lyra hadn't even realized she was dropping. "You are a good friend. They are twice fortunate to have you. We will inform you when we are ready to make the trip, if it remains possible. For now, treat them well, and keep them and everypony around them safe."
Lyra smiled a little before a question came to her. "Were you the one referring them all to me?"
"Not at first." Luna inclined her head faintly. "But word of your success has spread. Expect others, if they arrive. Do you feel you understand the humans?"
Lyra bobbed her head. "They're not that different from ponies, really. They prefer being dressed all the time if they can be, but they often get used to wearing their fur. They like meat, but it's not required, just a strong preference. So far as I can tell, they were omnivores. Like us, but closer to the carnivore side of the spectrum while we're on the herbivore side."
Luna clopped her fore-hooves together. "Excellent. We will consider you the standing expert in this new field then. If you can learn more, do so, but that is secondary to protecting them and Ponyville."
Author's Note
Typed on a plane from Everfree NW.
Lyra emerged from her meeting at once relieved that she hadn't done anything wrong, and yet terrified at what it meant for the future. Her mind hummed with how to break this information to her poor lost ponies without hurting them. As she walked back towards her office, a flustered looking Twilight ran up to her. "Lyra!"
"Huh? What's wrong, Princess?"
Twilight waved a hoof. "Just Twilight's fine, but one of your patients snuck into the castle and activated the portal."
Lyra tilted her head. "How do you know it was, you know, one of mine? I mean, if nopony was around to see it."
Twilight blinked. "You... have a point. Gather up your patients and see if anypony's missing. If they are, they jumped into the human world and could be in grave danger."
Lyra cringed a little. "If I had to guess who it might be..." She let out a low long sigh. "I would have let them go, but Luna said to keep them together, and here. Come with me, let's go check the once-human house together."
They trotted side-by-side through Ponyville to the house and Lyra knocked on the door. Little Lucy opened the door and looked up at them with a smile. "Hello Lyra, Twilight. How can I help you?"
Twilight inclined her head at Lucy. "Hello, Lucy. Can you do a quick headcount of everypony?"
Lucy looked confused at the request, but nodded and dashed off into the house.
"Well it wasn't her," said Lyra. "Good. I didn't think Lucy would do something that reckless. She's a good pony."
Lucy returned shortly. "Everyone but Sam's here. Sunny is visiting, if you're looking for her?"
Lyra sagged. Of course. "No no, you did fine. Thank you, Lucy."
After the door closed, Twilight turned towards Lyra. "You know who it was then?"
Lyra nodded. "He's increasingly dissatisfied with being a pony, or being in this world, or anything. He's mentioned the mirror world sounded better, even if not ideal."
Twilight frowned and tapped her chin. "Well... if he really wants to stay? He wouldn't, technically, be the first pony to do so."
Lyra sank to her belly. "Luna just told me to keep the once-humans from going to the mirror world. It's not even fair... if he can be happier there, I don't want to drag him back."
Twilight put a hoof on Lyra's shoulder and smiled. "Tell me what she told you. I'm sure we can work this out like rational ponies."
Lyra took a soft breath and nodded before she began to explain the theory about bubbles and how the once-humans came from another entire big bubble and their prospects for getting back home.
Twilight frowned a little. "That would be quite a challenge getting them back to the right place, but none of that explains why it would be harmful to let Sam remain in the mirror world if that's what he wants?"
Lyra pushed upright to her haunches. "I don't know? Can you... ask Luna? I really don't want to be the pony to drag him to Equestria against his will. That's..." she hung her head. "It would be the last failure between us, as friends."
Twilight shook Lyra by her shoulder lightly. "You know, I had my doubts about you, Lyra, but you really are taking this position seriously." She smiled. "As the princess of friendship, I can confidently say that I'm proud to have you as a neighbor."
Lyra smiled with uncertainty. "Thanks, Twilight. I'm just trying to do the right thing. Can you, after we settle this, stop others from sneaking through the portal? We really can't have this happening again."
Twilight rose and turned away. "I'll work on that, but first, I have a date with Luna, and we'll get those answers. For now, just continue as normal."
When Twilight was gone, the door peeked open and Lucy's head poked through to look at Lyra. "Miss Heartstrings, do you have a moment?"
Lyra turned to Lucy. "Hmm? Lyra's more than fine, Lucy. What's wrong?"
Lucy smiled. "Habit, sorry. It's about Cyrus. He's having a hard time adjusting on some levels, and easier on others. He didn't shrink quite as badly as I did I think? He was younger than I was at the time, and I think he really kind of likes the idyllic world you have here."
Lyra nodded lightly. "Most of that sounds like good news."
Lucy rolled a hoof. "He's perhaps too eager to dive right into being a full-grown pony for his own good. He likes his new body, a lot, but he's not eager to be a kid, er, foal. I'm afraid things will get very awkward when he tries to get a girlfriend and a job."
Lyra tilted her head. "Have you tried introducing him to other foals around his physical age to see how they get along?"
Lucy nodded quickly. "Sure have, but he's like me that way. They're cute and all, but too immature for either of us. I... realize one day they will be my peers, so I'm trying to be more outgoing with them anyway, and I'm proud to say I have a few friends now." She smiled with a simple look of satisfaction. "But I don't think Cyrus realizes this, or wants to 'degrade' himself."
Lyra sat on her haunches again and tapped at her chin with a hoof, considering. "Bring him with you, and introduce him to your own friends. I'm guessing they're some of the more mature foals around your age?"
Lucy chuckled a little, though it came out more like a giggle. "One of them, the other's a little nutball that I've grown fond of."
Lyra smiled brightly. "Even better. Try to include him, play with them all and make sure everypony's having a good time. Don't make it look like you're setting him up, just invite him along and have fun with him, and he'll get used to it, hopefully. Don't force him, but he has to be bored a little, so I don't think he'll say no to having some fun."
Lucy bobbed her head. "I'll do that." She held out a hoof, and Lyra met it with a soft clop. "We'll get through to him, don't worry."
Lyra wasn't used to her patients comforting her, and she chuckled at the odd feeling of it. "You're a real treasure, Lucy."
Author's Note
Sam's gone rogue, Lucy's being helpful, and Cyrus needs to learn to just be a foal and enjoy it.
Lyra's a busy pony!
24 - Lost Through the Mirror
Lyra was enjoying her day off, just hanging out with Sweetie Drops and helping to make and wrap candies and not worrying about her patients for a change.
"What if..." started Bon Bon as she pulled a tray out of the oven and set it on the counter, releasing the thick cloth from her snout that let her hold the hot metal. "What if ponies are getting lost the same way?"
Lyra raised a brow. "Wouldn't somepony notice?" She used her magic to grab a pizza slicer and cut into the candy, making it into nice squares for Bon Bon to work with. "I haven't heard of anypony vanishing like that, and if it was, you know, just as frequent, somepony has to see that."
Bon Bon tapped her chin thoughtfully a moment before she got to taste testing the first square, and offering the second to Lyra. Both satisfied, she pulled over the wrappers and started wrapping them up with Lyra's help. "What if they aren't removed?"
"Come again?" Lyra asked as she tidily made each caramel chunk into a little wrapped treat. "I don't understand your idea."
Bon Bon waved at Lyra. "What if it's not moving them from place to place, but copying them instead? What if your once-humans are actually home, right now, and don't even know there's a copy of them lost here in Equestria."
Lyra's expression darkened. "That could be the worst possible answer in a lot of ways... It means they really have no home to go back to, no matter how hard we try."
Bon Bon's thoughts wouldn't be stopped. "But what if we're lost like that? Gosh, I'd hope we were together at least."
Lyra moved over to Bon Bon and hugged her tightly from the side. "I'd be alright anywhere if it was with you, Bonnie."
They went quiet a moment, staying close together as they finished wrapping up the candies. "I think you and the Princess should focus on getting their... bubble? away, before more ponies get lost back and forth. It's not good for anypony, human or not."
Lyra threw up an arm. "Yeah, of course, but... Come on, Bonnie. This is my one day off."
Bon Bon gently nuzzled her Lyra. "You're doing a very important thing. I'm very proud of you."
Lyra melted into the attention and let out a sigh. "I'll go." She leaned in and kissed Bon Bon perhaps a bit more firmly than strictly required before turning for the door and departing.
Lyra made her way swiftly to the train station, grumbling softly to herself along the way. She had really wanted to relax and forget about everything for a bit, but Bon Bon was making good points. Things could be becoming worse, and more souls cast out into the world, lost and scared.
She imagined herself become a human overnight, with no way back, in an alien world. The thought that, somewhere, her Bon Bon wouldn't even know she was lost, still snuggling up with an alternate Lyra. It was infuriating and sad, and could already be happening. Would the humans even have professional friends? Not from what she had gathered from her precious wards. They needed love as much as any species, but were a lot more timid about giving it out. She would be well and truly alone, abandoned in that awful place.
She put some bits down on the counter, buying a ticket up to Canterlot and dropping herself onto a seat to wait for the next train. "She'd better be there..." There was no assurance Luna would be available to talk to her, but she'd try. She had to...
Sam was doing well! He had fingers, and clothes, arms, legs, feet! All his parts were in order! Sure everything seemed a little too bright and the proportions were kind of off... but he was human, and everyone around him was too! With a nervous laugh, he hopped up and clicked his heels together before coming down.
A high-schooler walking past gave him a thumbs up before moving on. He returned the gesture, giddy that he could perform the simple gesture that had been denied to him in Equestria. Alright, he had to get a place to live, and somewhere to work. He guessed the second would have to come first to pay the former. Crossing his fingers, he walked down the street in search for a wanted sign.
The first one he saw rested in the window of a music store. Why not? He wandered in to find a man polishing some guitars. "Hey? I saw the sign in the window? What's the position?"
The man turned to regard Sam with a bright smile. "Oh fantastic! I need someone to help run the store. You know, clean-up, open, closing, helping customers and running the register. How's that sound?"
Sam was a little surprised. The man was a little... eager sounding, like he was the first and only person to be interested in it. "Sure, I can do all that. What's the pay?"
The shopkeep shrugged. "I confess, I thought it would be a high-schooler applying, so I've only set aside $10/hr for it. It's not quite minimum wage, but it's close to it. We really can't afford to pay much more than that. Full-time, if you want it, or part-time if you don't?"
Sam shook his head a little. He felt like the shopkeep was trying to sell him the job instead of the other way around. Is that just how this world worked? "Well... sure, let's try out full-time and see how it works from there?"
The shopkeep offered a hand. "Deal! The name's Fine Tune, by the way."
Sam accepted the hand and shook it, wondering at that very pony-sounding name. "Sam, nice to meet you. When do I start?"
Author's Note
Bon Bon has a scary thought, and Lyra is nominated to go carry it to Luna.
Meanwhile, Sam still exists!
Lyra arrived in Canterlot and trotted towards the castle. She always felt under-dressed in the city of unicorns, though her tophat and monocle did much to alleviate the sensation. There was a big difference between having a hat or not having a hat, and she wasn't getting nearly as many raised brows as the last time she came with nothing at all.
None challenged her progress, except one stallion that stepped in front of her while wielding a cape. "This would complete your ensemble, ma'am. Only three bits!"
It wasn't a bad looking cape, but she wasn't really in the mood to shop at the moment, and she shook her head, pressing past the roadblock.
Her hat buzzed softly and she flicked her ears, activating the view of the front of the house. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were peeking through one of the windows. Scootaloo had her face pressed against the glass. "They look pretty normal to me. Are you sure this is the right place?"
Apple Bloom was beside her. "Of course ah am! The ponies here are aliens!"
Sweetie Belle, who had somehow been roped into being the stepping stool for the other two, looked up at them. "What do you see in there?"
The front door suddenly swung open and Lucy poked her head out. "Hey Crusaders! Are you here to play?"
The girls shrieked as one. Sweetie tried to flee, which unsettled the pile on top of her. They came crashing down, pinning Sweetie to the ground as they made a mess of themselves in a heap of pony flesh.
Lucy grinned at the mess she very likely intended to create. "You don't have to peek from outside, come in and hang out."
Lyra flicked off the view, satisfied that all was well. Lucy was really adapting well to her life as a new foal. She was becoming more playful by the day, though her desire to consume knowledge hadn't ebbed. Lyra suddenly stopped as a new thought came to her. If these souls really were copies, perhaps they were made of local... stuff... That would explain how some of them adapted so well and thoroughly. Lucy wasn't just Lucy the human, she was Lucy the Equestrian with a human's memories and past...
Lyra shook her head and approached the gate of the castle. "May I see Princess Luna, please?" she asked of the tall stallion in golden armor. "It's very important."
Sam asked for a forward on his pay, and got it. It was all... too easy. He took the money, which looked sort of like real money. It was green, and had a face on it, but it wasn't any president he knew. It was more an impression of a face. He took the collection of bills to an apartment building he spotted and looked around for an office, but saw none at all.
When a person wandered past heading out, he stopped them. "Hey, sorry to bug you, but how do you move in?"
The person shrugged his shoulders. "Need help moving boxes?"
"No no, I mean, you know, paperwork?"
He looked baffled. "Uh, just pick an empty apartment."
This was becoming disturbing. With every interaction it became more clear that this was not Earth, and not America. He thanked the guy anyway and found a spot on the second floor that looked empty and abandoned. There was a sign on the door that was blank where the others had people's names, so he added his own name. There, all his now!
So what did he do with his money? Of course! "Gonna need a bed, maybe a TV, some food..." He walked out of the apartment building and headed downtown.
Loud pulsing music suddenly drew his attention. Some teenager was walking down the road, bobbing her head to some large headphones, and it seemed the entire world was bobbing right along with her, moving to the beat that her music produced. The people around him seemed blissfully unaware, but when she got in range, the music grabbed them, and him, and he was swept along in the beat until she moved past. What the Jesus flipping Christ was that?
"What are you an expert of, ma'am?" asked the guard that stood in Lyra's way.
"Uh... Anthropology? I'm a professional friend for once-humans, at Luna's request. Can you get her or bring me to her?" Lyra wasn't sure how to deal with the guards, but they had been rather stubborn so far.
"It's day."
"So?"
"She's sleeping. Come back at night."
Lyra scowled and stomped a hoof. "She came to see me during the day! Just tell her who's here and she'll see me. Please!"
The guards looked at one another before one turned and trotted into the castle. The one left nodded at Lyra. "We'll get the night guard. They would know better about Luna's wishes."
Lyra waited impatiently before a large figure landed just in front of her. The bat pony folded her wings tight against herself as she smiled down at Lyra. "Hello there. I'm told you want to speak to Luna?"
Lyra was filled with a thrill of dread and awe at the bat pony. "Oh, uh... yes? Please..." She was so large! Lyra felt like a filly in the presence of the intimidating guard of the night, even if she was smiling and even seemed friendly.
The night guard gestured to herself. "I am Dark Horizon. Be at ease. The mistress has spoken of you before, and you are welcome here. Miss Heartstrings, was it?"
Lyra nodded. "Misses Heartstrings. Lyra. Nice to meet you. Is Luna really asleep?"
Dark leaned in, her face filling Lyra's vision. "She is, but I will bring you to her waiting room." Dark turned around and sank to the ground. "Up."
Lyra blushed a little. Adults were not supposed to ride each other normally, but with the size difference, she hardly felt like an adult around Dark. She clambered up carefully and draped herself over Dark's back. Dark slid to her hooves, spread her wings wide and was soon in the air, carrying the stunned Lyra towards Luna's chambers.
Author's Note
Sam learns more about his curious new home, while Lyra struggles to reach Luna.
I kind of like Sam's rent conditions. Sign me up!
With a registration process so simple, you even avoid typos.
Dark landed lightly on a balcony and knocked on a glass door. "Mistress. I apologize for the disturbance, but Misses Heartstrings is here."
The door slid open and Dark proceeded into the gloomily lit room, where Luna sat across a large cushion. "Ah, Dark Horizon. You've done well, as you usually do." She smiled at the bat pony, then tilted her head at Lyra on Dark's back. "Come down, Lyra. I'm certain you did not come if you did not have important things on your mind."
Lyra carefully slid down to the ground, wobbling left and right a moment before her balance found her. "Uh, hello your highness, and thank you, Miss Horizon."
Dark smiled at Lyra. "Enjoy your audience." She turned and walked out of the room, closing the glass door behind herself and soon launching herself into the sky, lost to their sight.
Lyra looked to Luna, a new question on her mind. "She seemed so loyal. Are all the bat ponies like that?"
Luna tilted her head lightly. "We share a bond. I love them all dearly, as they do me. Of all of ponykind, they understand the night better than the rest, and with it, they understand me. I am fortunate to have them at my side, but that is not what brought you here, I doubt?"
Lyra picked up on the relaxed mode of speech and looked at Luna more closely, seeing she was relaxed and drowsy, perhaps just awakened. Perhaps she had caught her with her guard down and she was speaking more akin to a friend instead of a subject. The thought sent a thrill through her even as she vowed to not take advantage of it. "My wife had an alarming thought about the humans and their world. What if humans and ponies are not 'falling through', but instead being copied? Meaning there really is no home for them, because they never left home to begin with. My once-humans may actually be ponies, with the minds, uh, spirits... of these humans? But otherwise fully Equestrian."
Luna reached forward with a hoof and tapped Lyra on the nose. "This thought has not escaped me. It is one reason of many we tried to gently dissuade you from trying to send them back."
Lyra noticed the relapse, but paid it no mind. "But we have to stop this! Besides, it could be going both ways. Imagine if you suddenly woke up as a human, with no magic. No wings! Lost in an alien world without harmony..."
Luna shuddered powerfully. "Truly a nightmare, and one I would never wake from. What would you have us do?"
Lyra tapped her forehead, as if to shake loose a thought within. "You said it was like bubbles? Can't we just... blow the other bubble away?"
Luna smiled gently. "We are not gods, that can exhale and make planets move."
Lyra pointed outside. "You are so! You move the moon every night! Celestia raises the sun every morning! Especially together, you should be able to do it!"
Luna looked angry at first, scaring Lyra, but the expression faded. "Perhaps... Perhaps you are right. Come, let us see my sister and get her thoughts on the matter." She slipped off her cushion and rose to her full height, towering over Lyra. "Follow us."
Lyra followed as she was bid, feeling a little thrill at having Luna's personal attention. The thought that they were going to see Celestia too put a little spring in her step. This was all so exciting! She just had to not... mess... everything up... Her bounce faded to a much more sedate walk, glancing around nervously. She cleared her throat softly. "Is there anything I should keep in mind while addressing your sister?"
Luna looked over her shoulder. "Neigh. My sister is as forthright as the sun she represents. If you wish her favor, think of her like an older sister instead of a princess. Greet her with familiarity, and do not bow or scrape." She paused a moment, tapping her chin. "We do not mind if you bow and scrape for us, however." And then she continued.
Lyra blinked a little, looking at Luna curiously. It seemed an odd time to suddenly throw herself prostrate while walking down the hall, and thinking about it got her head considering the relationship of the sisters, and Luna's place in a world she left behind for a thousand years. Maybe she should try to get Luna to come in for a session... Maybe she needed a friend to talk to?
These thoughts were interrupted as they entered the throne room, where Celestia sat in all her glory, conversing with a few ponies who sat before her. She spotted Luna immediately and excused herself from the others. "Sister! You're up early. What brings you here?"
They met and traded a nuzzle before Luna gestured back at Lyra. "Misses Heartstrings has been quite dutiful concerning the matter of the dimensional barrier, and she brings up an excellent point that I think you should consider. We wanted your view of it."
Celestia looked down at Lyra expectantly. Lyra tried to put the advice to work. "Hi Celestia! It's been a while."
Celestia looked surprised at Lyra's words, but smiled. "That it has, Lyra. It's a pleasure to see you again. Why, I think we last saw one another at Twilight's coronation. You were quite excited."
Lyra giggled a little. "I was beside myself! Twilight looked so regal and amazing and I couldn't believe a friend managed to become a princess like that! I couldn't help myself, you know?"
Celestia nodded slowly. "I know precisely what you mean. I... may have cried a little during it all. My little Twilight Sparkle has done so well. But we're not here for that, please, share your thoughts."
Lyra felt herself relax. Luna was right, Celestia wasn't big on formality, and thinking of her like a big sister was much easier than considering talking to the ruler of your nation. "Well I was just saying, the two worlds can't be too much harder than the sun and the moon. If you put your magic together, you should be able to nudge them apart a little, at least enough so people and ponies aren't falling across all the time! It's getting crazy! I have a dozen patients waiting for their first visit! And thinking about the ponies stuck in their world is heartbreaking."
Celestia seemed to be considering it, looking between Lyra and Luna a moment. "I think I have a better idea..."
Author's Note
What is Celestia planning?
Will Lyra ever get Luna to come down and let her be her professional friend?
Will humans and ponies continue to fall into each other's worlds?
Will the author ever get a pre-reader and use it to cut down on these typos?
The answer to the last one is likely no, the rest we'll find out!
27 - Organizing the Multiverse
Celestia spread her wings wide. "We will have to extend our duties, if temporarily. We have long been stewards of the sky, but, at least for a little while, we should organize this mess." She looked to Luna. "Sister, your talents will be invaluable for this. You've seen the press of the other worlds more clearly, haven't you?"
Luna quickly nodded. "It is much more obvious when patrolling the dream world. I saw something was amiss before the first of the lost souls began to appear, and it has only grown worse over time."
Lyra rubbed behind her head. "Well... OK. You two have this under control then? I'll get back to Ponyville then." She turned to leave and ran into one of Celestia's large wings.
"Not so fast, Lyra." Celestia gently pulled Lyra back. "For what I have in mind, we need one of your patients. Ideally one with a very strong sense of their home. I imagine they likely had a very hard time adapting, if they ever did. The stronger the sense of their old world, the better for this purpose. Can you think of somepony like that?"
Lyra clopped her hooves together. "Yeah! Sam! I'll... Oh. He... kind of ran away, through Twilight's mirror portal."
Luna snorted softly. "That mare can cause as many problems as she fixes at times."
Celestia shook her head. "Then your mission is clear. Go and recover this 'Sam' and bring him here."
Lyra cringed. "I don't want to drag him back! He's happier there. I'm supposed to be his friend. Friends don't foalnap each other!" She looked to Luna. "That reminds me. The world isn't... falling apart. Why was I supposed to stop him from going?"
Luna pointed a hoof at Lyra. "Failing to stop him from going. Most of the damage that would be done is already done. I just wanted them all in one place, and to not burden another world with our problems."
Celestia gave a gentle smile. "We won't keep him here, or anywhere. We just need him for a few days, then he is a free pony again to do as he pleases, within the confines of the law. He knows you, Lyra, surely you can convince him to come back for a little while?"
Lyra gave a little nod, feeling unable to say no to the palpable warmth and kindness of Celestia. It was like saying no to a good grandmother. She couldn't handle the idea. "I'll do my best. Is it alright if I take a friend with me? Another once-human might help a lot in approaching him."
Luna rolled a hoof. "Do as thou must. The fate of Equestria rests squarely in your hooves."
Lyra cringed as the pressure mounted. She bobbed her head and turned to flee out of the courtroom, lest more demands be heaped upon her.
Sam wandered through the mall, noting there were far more teenagers than adults, which seemed weird. Even manning the shops seemed to have a good number of young adults. He saw the high school, but maybe there was a college nearby too. A college town would explain a good bit of what he saw.
He wandered into the bed store and eyeballed the price tags. Most of the sets were quite reasonably priced, but there was one bed on a raised platform whose price was four times that of its closest competition. Light spilled down from above, and its signage made wild claims of the best sleep any person has ever experienced ever. "Hey," he called out to the peppy looking girl watching the store. "Is it OK to try this?" She bobbed her head, still grinning.
Sam sank down onto the mattress and was instantly asleep. He hadn't even realized it until the girl nudged him awake. "That happens more often than you'd think." She was still smiling. It was a little unnerving how she managed it, but he accepted her hand up. "Did you want to get one? Free delivery!"
Sam shook his head. "A little out of my price range, and I might never get out of bed again."
She laughed at his joke loudly. "I totally know what you mean! How about this one?" She moved over to less expensive models, but seemed to have her eyes on one particular mattress. "This has your name all over it."
Sam approached and saw that she was being literal. It read 'Sam' on it. "I don't remember introducing myself."
"You look like a Sam," said the girl before pointing at herself. "I'm Tammy! Try it out!"
Sam sat on the edge of the bed while looking at its price tag. It was well within his budget. He laid back and found it quite cozy. Not instant sleep like the luxury model, but he'd suffered through far worse than the Sam bed. "Yeah, sure. I'll take it."
"Excellent! I'll have it sent to your apartment right away." She held out a hand, and he put some bills in it. She quickly returned with change. "You have a nice day now!"
"Uh, don't you need the address?" asked Sam with a raised brow.
She shook her head. "We'll find you, don't worry. And you have a month to try it out, but I know you'll like it. Are you new in town?"
"Uh... yeah, you could say that, pretty new." He glanced around nervously. "Is that a problem?"
"Gosh no." She leaned in a little. "We love getting new neighbors. I hope you get settled in soon. Were you invited to the block party this weekend?"
Sam hadn't been to a party of any kind besides a birthday party in years. To have this early 20-something inviting him felt somehow more alien than the bed that had his name all over it. "No? Should I have been?"
"Of course!" She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "Welcome to the neighborhood! Be there and meet everyone else!" When she let go of his hands, he was holding a little invitation card. Unsure what to make of it, he nodded at Tammy and retreated from the store with all the dignity he could muster.
Author's Note
EQG universe just gets more and more creepy. Celestia puts out a APB on Sam, and poor Lyra is conscripted to go find him.
Hey! People who I did intros for! You want to accompany Lyra on her quest into EQG land? Let me know!
28 - Rescue from the Uncanny Valley
Sam had had just about all the creepiness he could handle for one day. He made a pitstop by the food court and grabbed a burger and fries without any difficulty. He sat down to enjoy his meal when a girl with pink skin sat down across from him. "Hiya! You look lonely and kinda sad and I don't recognize you. Are you new in town? My name's Pinkie Pie!"
Sam had encountered Pinkie Pie as a pony, and this human looked just like her, just... human. Also sounded like her, and acted like her. "Aren't I a little old for you?"
Pinkie tilted her head. "You're never too old to be a friend! Gosh, that's a crazy idea. I'd hate to be so old I stopped making friends." She waved a hand dismissively. "Don't worry, you're not that old yet, 'cause I'm right here and ready to be your friend. So what's your name?"
"My name is 'I'm Hungry so Leave me Alone'."
Pinkie Pie scowled in a perplexed way. "There's no way that can be your name. I know, you look kinda like a... Long Shot? Or a Gus! No wait, Sam! Definately Sam."
Sam shuddered. Was he wearing a name tag or something? How did these brightly colored people guess his name so easily? "Look, Pinkie? I'm just trying to relax. Leave me alone."
Pinkie shook her head. "No can do! I turn frowns upside down. It's what I do! Say, have you tried the triple-rainbow icecream blast? It's super amazing! I'll go get you a bowl." she hopped to her feet and skipped towards the counters.
Sam accepted this as a hint to get out of dodge, and scrambled to his feet, hurrying away from the food court. At least he had the sense to take his food with him. The hamburger wasn't bad at all, whatever else in the world was messed up.
Lyra arrived at the Ponyville terminal and stepped off the train, walking into the town with a soft sigh. She oriented herself for the once-human house, deciding venturing to the almost-human world would be a lot easier with somepony at her side that knew the lay of the land. A soft knocking produced little Lucy, who smiled up at her before it turned to a concerned frown.
"You look upset. What's wrong?"
Lyra felt her mouth tug into a smile. "You're getting better at spotting that kind of thing. I'm visiting the almost-human world, where Sam is. We need to get him back, just for a little while. We'll let him go afterwards, if that's what he wants, but the Princesses really need to talk to him."
Lucy's ears went erect as she sat on her haunches. "Do you promise? It's bad enough when we have to be here, forcing him to be here isn't something I'd want to be part of."
Lyra set a hoof over her chest. "Promise. I'll even do one of those crazy Pinkie Pie Promises if you want?"
Lucy tilted her head. "What? Nevermind. I don't need a fancy promise. The regular kind's fine by me. From what people, uh, ponies, have said about that place, I'll be a little girl there."
Lyra nodded. "Will that be a problem?"
Lucy tapped her chin. "Not if you pretend you're either my mother or my older sister."
Lyra reached for Lucy, pulling her close. "I always wanted a little sister."
Lucy burst into giggles and squirmed away. "Alright then. When do we go?"
Lyra glanced up at the afternoon sky. "Now is as fine as any time? I really want to get this over with. I can't do much else with it floating over my head."
Lucy nodded. "Give me a moment. I'll tell the others I'll be with you for a while." She slipped into the house and closed the door, only to return a few minutes later. "Let's go find Sam."
They soon arrived at Twilight's castle. Twilight was ready for them, guiding them downstairs towards the machine that could get them to Canterlot High. "Celestia sent word that you'd need to travel soon. You're a brave pony, but who's this little filly?" she looked down at Lucy curiously.
Lucy wrinkled her smooth snout lightly. "We've met before, Twilight."
Twilight nodded lightly. "We have, but why are you here? This is a potentially dangerous mission to an alien world."
Lucy pointed at herself. "An alien world that works a lot like the one I came from. This!" She tapped the ground beneath herself. "This world is more alien. And stop looking at me like I'm a filly. You should know better."
Lyra smiled a little. "Well you really are a filly, even if you have more years in you than you should. Thank you again, Lucy, for acting as a guide for me."
Lucy smiled at Lyra, about to say she's welcome when Twilight butted in, "Woah there! You're taking a filly with you? As a guide?"
Lyra frowned a little at Twilight. "I know you're... a princess now, but really, Twilight. You know both of us. She's crazy smart, and she has the mind of an adult."
Twilight looked displeased, snorting as she looked over the both of them. "Smart or not, my parents wouldn't let me do this when I was her age."
Lucy moved beside Lyra and pressed against her lower legs. "Good thing my guardian says it's alright."
Twilight blinked in shock, tilting her head. "What? I mean... I didn't know... I guess if Lyra's your guardian and she says it's alright..." She stiffly walked away with a confused expression.
As soon as she was out of hearing range, Lyra looked down at Lucy. "Since when was I your guardian?"
Lucy shrugged. "Since we wanted Twilight to stop overthinking this and send us on our way?"
Lyra chuckled softly. "Clever... but she's not going to forget that."
Lucy tilted her head up at Lyra. "So make it real? You're already my guardian in almost every way but title anyway. I don't really need a 'parent', but a guardian I could probably live with, especially you, since you understand my situation. If I had Twilight for a foster parent, I might die."
Lyra giggled a little at that. "Don't be mean. Twilight's a perfectly nice unicorn." She reached for Lucy, gently hugging her. "It would be an honor. Uh, wait, does this mean you want to move in?"
Lucy shook her head. "I'm fine in the once-human house for now. I think I'm making great progress with some of them... Maybe after they're gone, if Sweetie Drops wouldn't mind me?"
Lyra bobbed her head. "I'll ask her."
Twilight returned with a smile, her composure restored. "I'm ready when you two are. Just step through when it lights up and try to be back before a day passes."
Author's Note
Twilight gets surprised, and so does Lyra... and so does Sam. The only thing not surprising in this chapter are the typos.
With the portal warmed up, Lyra and Lucy stepped through one after the other, to crash onto the pavement in front of Canterlot High. Lyra gathered herself up and stood on wobbling legs to see a much shorter human with a big grin.
Lucy grinned up at Lyra. "Fingers." She wriggled them at Lyra. She still had a sparkly look to her, like someone dumped glitter in her hair, but she was as normal as any other human in this place otherwise. "Alright, so where could Sam have gone..."
Lyra smiled a little. "You're still adorable, even as a freaky human."
"Hey Lyra!" A human rushed up towards her. A glance at her skirt told Lyra it was Carrot Top's human counterpart. "Who's the shrimp? Are you babysitting?"
Lucy shook her head. "She's my guardian."
Carrot Top looked baffled. "Oh... Well good luck with that!" She moved off, rubbing behind her head.
Lyra chuckled softly. "I don't think we should use that line. I think we both look underaged here. Let's go with the little sister angle for now?"
Lucy quickly agreed and they set off down the road, away from the high school. Lucy noticed her little skirt had her cutie mark on it. "That's amazing! How does it know what cutie mark you should have? Do humans in this world earn cutie marks the same way?"
Lyra raised a brow. "You know, I wouldn't be surprised. Let's try asking somepony if they could help us find Sam."
They approached a police officer standing at the next corner. Lucy took the lead, smiling up at the man. "Hello officer. We're trying to find a friend of ours but we don't know exactly where he lives."
The officer crouched down to be on Lucy's level. "Aw, is that right? We'll find them, don't you worry."
Lucy wondered a little. Police officers weren't usually quite that eager to help a random lost person, but she'd take the help where she found it. "His name's Sam. He just moved in a few days ago at most?"
"Oh! Sam?! Who can forget that guy. Kind of a weird name if you ask me, but he's alright."
Lyra blinked. "You met him then?"
"Not directly," confessed the officer as he stood up. "But my friends have. They were going to throw him a surprise party later today as a sort of 'welcome to the neighborhood' thing. If you're friends of his, you should come along. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."
Lucy pointed at the officer. "What's your name?"
"Straight and Narrow, nice to meet you Lucy." He tipped his hat towards Lucy with a bright smile.
Lucy certainly didn't recall giving her name, but thought better of making a big fuss of it. "Nice to meet you too..."
Lyra grinned. "Great! So where's the party going to be?""
Straight laughed softly. "Never change, Lyra. You always loved going to parties, but I swear you always hide in the back. You should join the center stage more often." He pointed to one of the buildings. "He's right there. Name's on the door, not hard to find. I should get back to my patrol. Good luck."
Lyra and Lucy gave friendly waves, then moved on. Lucy spoke quietly to Lyra, "If I wasn't already told this wasn't the real Earth, I would be convinced right now. That was weird."
Lyra tilted her head. "Which part? He seemed nice to me."
Lucy pointed at herself. "I didn't tell him my name! How'd he know that?"
Lyra shrugged softly. "Pinkie Pie does that kind of thing from time to time, and she's not the only one."
Lucy put a hand over her face. "Alright, so... a pony thing. This is a pony world, except the ponies are missing tails and have hands."
Lyra tilted her head the other way, thinking about it. "I'd like to see what your world's really like, but let's focus on fixing things, or we could lose all of it."
"All of it?" Lucy frowned lightly. "Can you explain that?"
Lyra explained on the way, "Luna implied the human world and the pony worlds are all kinda... rubbing against each other? Celestia said she could use Sam somehow to fix it."
Lucy looked thoughtful. "What if they push into each other?"
"What? Like become one world?" Lyra raised a brow. "That would be a huge mess. Let's not do that."
Lyra's tophat buzzed, which surprised her. She didn't think it'd work across dimensions, but there it was, buzzing softly. She tried to flick an ear, but human ears didn't work like that. She reached up and twisted the hat and saw a blurry picture of Twilight approaching the house. She looked nervous in the static-filled view, glancing left and right. "Huh, that's odd. Twilight's at the one-human house."
Lucy tilted her head up at Lyra. "How can you tell that?" She couldn't see the image very well from her angle, but not for lack of trying.
Lyra watched Twilight peek in through a window, then duck down. With a flash of green flames, Twilight became Lyra, tophat and monocle included. She straightened herself out then walked up the the door, knocking on it. "What the?!"
"What!?" Lucy frowned. "What are you looking at? Talk to me."
Lyra licked over her lips. "I think we need to get back home..."
Lucy pointed at the apartment building they had reached the door of. "We're getting Sam, remember? Focus, Lyra. What are you staring at?"
Lyra shook her head, dismissing the image. "Somepony's pretending to be me! I saw Twilight just poof! She turned into me, and she got into the once-human house!"
Lucy cringed a little at the idea of it. "That... I don't even know."
Lyra tugged at Lucy's shoulder. "Let's go back."
Lucy pointed at the house. "This is our chance. We should get Sam, then figure out what's going on."
Author's Note
Forward or backwards. There's no obvious right answer here. What do you think? Maybe the Lyra clone was just a typo.
30 - I'll Get There Before You
Lucy stepped away from Lyra, towards the building. "I'll get Sam and bring him back, just make sure the portal's still open. You go check on the house."
Lyra didn't feel she had the time to argue the matter, so she bobbed her head. "Please, be careful." She dashed off towards Canterlot High, leaving little Lucy behind.
Lucy let out a little breath, then smiled. "I can handle this..." She marched up to the door and entered the apartment building. It didn't look that different than she was expecting, though she noticed right away that every door had a name on it, some more than one. She began to look for Sam, but took quick note that the names were pony names, not human names.
She spied a sign at the end of the hallway pointing to the stairs. 'Party ->' Lucy raised a brow, could it be so easy? She entered the stairwell and ascended to the second floor where a second sign pointed her along into the hallway.
She emerged just in time for a flustered looking man to burst out of a room. "I don't want a party! I just want to relax. Shoo! Go! I'll call the police if I have to."
People started emerging from the apartment, looking confused. One of them smiled at who she guessed was Sam. "I'm a police officer. Did you need anything?"
Sam put a hand over his face. "No offense, but I just want to be alone."
"Roger that. Let's keep it moving people!" The officer waved down the hallway and Lucy had to move quickly out of the way for the crowd as it milled past her, and soon the hallway was quiet.
Sam spotted her standing there and frowned. "Party's over. Buzz off."
Lucy smiled at Sam. "Your attitude hasn't changed much."
"Lucy?" Sam huffed. "Are you here to drag me back to pony land?"
"No, well, yes, but not how you think."
"Not interested." Sam stepped into his apartment and slammed the door shut.
Lyra dashed down the sidewalk, almost getting hit by one of the carriages as she ran across a road without pausing. She left the honking beast behind her as she fled with all her might, only to run directly into another person who had their arms out, catching Lyra. "Lyra! Where are you running off to like that?"
Lyra blinked at her name being spoken and looked up at the person even as they continued, "And where'd you get the tophat? And what's with the monocle? Are you alright?"
Standing in front of her was Sweetie Drops, the human counterpart at least. She looked worried even as she dusted Lyra off. "You can't just bolt like that. Did you see how close you were to being run over? I don't think I could handle that." Suddenly Lyra was in Bon Bon's embrace, being squeezed gently. "Please be more careful."
Lyra's mind was a tumultuous place of jumbled thoughts. She must be Lyra's marefriend in this world too, and... they must be almost as close at least despite the relative youth. "Uh, sorry Bonnie. I really gotta go though. We'll meet up later, alright? Everything will be OK. In fact, I probably won't even remember what was so important." She flashed a bright smile, then ran away, worried she'd mess things up more for human-Lyra than she already had. She decided that mirror-world jumping was more complicated than she really wanted to deal with.
She ducked into the portal and after a moment of bending and warping, she popped out in Twilight's basement on all fours, hooves blissfully restored, and her horn where it should be. She turned for the stairs when she heard a thump behind her. She turned to face... Sweetie Drops... getting to her hooves and looking wobbly. "Where are we? Is... Is that you Lyra? Why?" She flopped to her haunches, then noticed one of her own hooves and shrieked in terror, scrambling backwards until she hit a wall and sliding to the ground. "What's going on?!"
Lyra looked around in a panic. Where was the real Twilight when she needed her? "Um, everything's going to be just fine, Bon Bon."
"Is that really you?" Bon Bon peeked up from behind her legs, shaking like a leaf.
"Yeah, it's... mostly me..." Her thoughts went to the stranger at the once-human house and she cringed. What to do... "Sweetie Drops, I need you to stay calm. You can go back th--" Just as she said it, the device let out a plume of smoke and turned off, broken. Lyra sank to her haunches. Lucy and Sam were still on the other side... Human-Bon Bon was on this side... A stranger was threatening her friends. She broke down into a sudden loud wail, unable to keep up with the escalation of errors. She didn't even notice when the once-human Bon Bon came up to her and hugged her, rocking back and forth as she weeped.
Lucy approached Sam's door and knocked lightly. "I just want to talk, unless you're afraid a little girl is going to overpower you."
The door opened a crack. "I don't want want to go back."
Lucy rolled a small hand. "Fine, they just want to talk to you for a bit, to help other people. You're officially free to migrate here if that's what you want."
Sam looked a little confused. "What, really? Just like that?"
Lucy smiled a little. "Just like that... Though I think you're making a mistake. You don't look happy at all."
"How would you know?" Sam let the door be and walked away from it. Lucy took it as an invitation and came inside, closing it behind herself. "I have a job, and money. I'm getting things put together."
Lucy nodded. "Well that's good, but you also just look miserable, and most happy people don't have to order half the neighborhood out of their apartment."
Author's Note
Lucy meets up with Sam, and Lyra has a good break down. Things can only go up from here, right?
Lyra realized she was being held as she came back to her senses. The pony holding her smelled familiar, and was whispering sweet nothings for her. Lyra relaxed into the embrace a moment before she remembered everything. "Bon Bon!"
Bon Bon jerked back, ears going erect. "What? Are you alright, Lyra? We'll make it out of here, promise. Just stay calm. We're just... horse things. It's not... that bad."
Lyra smiled wistfully, realizing Bon Bon thought she was freaking out about becoming a pony and was putting on a brave face for her friend. "Bon Bon... I'm alright now. I need you to stay here." She pointed at the portal. "Next to that, and wait. I'll get the po--person that can fix it and get y--us back home." Lyra was pretty bad at lying, and Bon Bon looked at her skeptically. "I'll get somep--one, promise! Oh! If a little reptile thing comes in, it's harmless, just say hi."
Bon Bon shook her head slowly. "I'm coming with you, Lyra. Lead the way."
Lyra cringed, but couldn't think of a way to shake Bon Bon. "It's really not required. Just give me, like, half an hour, tops!"
Bon Bon advanced on Lyra and nudged her with a hoof. "Tell me the truth, Lyra. You're awful at lying."
Lyra sank to her haunches with a sigh. "Well alright, but don't blame me afterwards! I'm not your Lyra. I've always been a pony, except when you ran into me. This is where I belong. I'll get you back to your own Lyra as soon as I can."
Bon Bon tilted her head slowly, then reached out to brush a hoof along Lyra's snout. "Is there a pony version of me too?" Lyra nodded. "I want to meet her!"
Lyra went stiff. "No! No no no no! Meeting your twin is very bad! Please, for the love of Celestia, just stay here."
"You love the principal?" Bon Bon looked baffled. "Fine... I'll stay here and do... horse things, I guess. Please don't forget about me. If you're anything like my Lyra..."
Lyra smiled nervously. "I can't forget about my Bonnie." This got a smile out of her, and Lyra hastily retreated. Lyra scrambled out of the basement and out of the castle, spotting nopony along the way. In a wild gallop, she charged for the once-human house and the intruder that had entered it with her face.
Sam scowled at the little girl. "I don't actually start work until tomorrow."
Lucy blinked. "But you already got paid?"
Sam gestured out a window. "Everyone around here is pretty trusting. I just asked, and he gave it."
Lucy nodded a little. "Well alright, so if you ask for a few days to get your things in order, he'd probably be alright with it?"
"But would I be?" Sam raised a brow. "This place has plenty of strange things about it, but it still beats out horse land. Everyone wears clothes, and I can eat a burger in peace, and they have computers!"
Lucy rolled a hand. "And I'm not asking you to give any of that up for longer than a few days." She huffed. "It's for the good of a lot of people who, like you, don't want to end up dumped in 'horse land'. Think of someone else, just like you, being thrown there with no way out, with this place as a distant second prize if they don't get themselves killed or go crazy before they find out about it. We can't get back, but we could help some people not get into this mess in the first place."
Sam grunted and sank onto a chair, looking thoughtful enough before he looked up. "It's a test."
"Hmm?"
"A test! This whole thing, it's like... purgatory. I'm stuck part-way between the pearly gates and the brimstone. The big guy's just waiting for me to show which side I belong on," explained Sam with seemingly building confidence.
Lucy nodded slowly, uncertain of the new angle. "Does that mean you'll help?"
"Right, fine." Sam pushed his way to his feet. "I won't be damned at the last second. If horse land needs me a few days, whatever, we'll get it over with." He fished out a phone and made a quick call, quietly thankful for the return of such modern luxuries.
Lyra came up on the once-human house and pushed inside without knocking, "Don't anypony panic!"
The once-humans were gathered around a table, playing cards. An unfamiliar face was using magic to shuffle and deal cards. All of their faces looked up at Lyra with surprise at her sudden entry. The new one smiled. "Hello, Lyra. I was hoping to meet you."
Lyra perked an ear, confusion building. "Are you... the changeling?"
He nodded. "Is that what it's called? I think so."
Lyra approached the table. "Why were you... hiding as Twilight Sparkle, and me?"
He shrugged a little. "Sorry about that. I... didn't exactly know if I should trust you or not yet. I'm a once-human, like everyone else here."
A once-human? Lyra sagged against the wall. It made enough sense... "But why hide as me?"
One of the others grinned. "He tried to pretend to be you and see how we'd react around you."
He nodded. "Exactly. I wanted to see if you were really friends, or if they were your prisoners."
Sunny suddenly sailed in through an open window. "Hey! Is the game already going?" The pegasus approached an empty chair and hopped up with a grin. "Deal me!"
Lyra put a hoof over her face. "Well... they're not my prisoners. I hope that's clear now? We... need to talk, but I have to help a friend right now." She glanced over the room. "Take care of him, nicely. Show him around town." She rolled a hoof. "Be friends." She felt lame and awkward. They were already being friends. She was the only one in the room stressing out. She turned for the exit and got to trotting. "I'll be back, sorry for being out of sorts."
Author's Note
Mystery revealed! The changeling was just another lost once-human trying to feel out the situation. Hopefully Bon Bon isn't up to any trouble in Twilight's basement. Lyra's already stressed out enough to typo her own name.
Lyra departed the once-human house, letting out a thunderous sigh. They were safe, that was good... but where was Twilight? She trotted briskly back towards the castle, hoping to find the princess there, but she didn't get that far. She spotted Bon Bon wandering around, which was odd. Sweetie Drops would normally be running her store at that ti... Oh.
Lyra hurried over towards the human-counterpart of her marefriend.
Bon Bon was looking around with wide eyes and a bit of a smile. "This place is amazing!"
Roseluck smiled at her. "You're looking especially cheerful today, Sweetie. Why the good mood?"
Lyra arrived, moving herself between Roseluck and Bon Bon. "Bonnie's just enjoying the day. Here you are! We have to go."
Bon Bon tilted her head. "Hey! If I'm a horse for a little while, I want to look around. Sitting in that basement was boring."
Lyra shook her head quickly. "I want to get you back as soon as possible."
"Back to where?" asked Roseluck, watching the two curiously. "Aren't you always a horse, er, pony?"
Bon Bon pointed at one of her roses. "May I have one?"
Roseluck smiled brightly. "Certainly! You can have a whole bunch for a bit."
Bon Bon looked at Lyra hopefully. Lyra let out a little sigh and set a coin down on the counter. Bon Bon was soon the proud owner of a mouthful of roses. "Why does this taste so good?" She started to chew on the steams, slowly devouring all the roses as Lyra gently nudged her towards the castle. "Why are you in such a rush? This is... a magical horse land! I want to see more of it."
Lyra sat down and stared at Bon Bon a moment. "Alright. First problem, your mirror counterpart lives in this town. Second problem, some friends of mine are trapped on the other side of the portal. Third problem, I can only handle so much in one day and we're already well past that point. Please... I know I'm not your Lyra, but please... have mercy on me. Show me the compassion I know my Bonnie has."
Bon Bon smiled gently. "Alright, Lyra, if it's that bad, I'll be good for you, but you have to promise to show me around another time, when things aren't so hectic." She looked over her shoulder as if just noticing... "I have a tail."
"A very nice tail," agreed Lyra, leading the way to the castle.
"You'd know, I suppose." Bon Bon smirked a little. "Chased it long enough, I would wager."
Lyra went red. "Bon Bon! I... yes... We're very close. You love your Lyra, right?"
Bon Bon nodded as she followed Lyra. "She's every bit the goof you are. I bet she'd love to see this place too."
Lyra tensed. "Oh please don't go telling other ponies! Besides, the portal's usually not even on."
Bon Bon stopped. "Is it on a timer, or do you just usually have it turned off?"
Lyra turned to face Bon Bon. "Usually just turned off, why?"
Bon Bon pointed at herself. "I still want to explore a little."
Lyra sank. "We'll ask Twilight. It's her castle, and her portal."
Sam and Lucy walked side-by-side down the road. Lucy's eyes wandered across the brightly colored people. "It's kind of strange, isn't it?"
Sam shrugged softly. "I'm just starting to get my head around it. If you just imagine them as human ponies , it all makes sense. They have cutie marks, they have the same colors. They even act the same a lot. They just expect things to work out, and they do, usually."
Lucy nodded slowly. "So this is what it's like back on Earth, if ponies are falling in on us like we did to them? I feel bad for them."
Sam snorted. "Well then it's a good thing I'm helping out, right?"
"Right." Lucy smiled lightly. "You're not sore about it, I hope?"
Sam rolled a hand. "If I thought I'd lose my job over it, I would be, but I get the feeling I'd have to try to be fired."
"Where do you work, now that you bring it up?"
Sam pointed as they happened to be going past it. "That music store there. Manning the register and general retail, nothing complicated."
Lucy shrugged. "You don't sound excited. It's a whole new world, you could do what you want, why settle?"
Sam rubbed his chin as he walked. "You have a point there. It was the first place I tried and he practically threw the job at me. I'd be a bit of a heel to just quit the day after, considering I haven't even worked for the money he already gave me."
Lucy smiled a little. "So try it out, say for a week or two, then try other jobs on for size. From what you're telling me, no one would object to it. Heck, I bet they don't even charge to go to college here at a guess."
"You think not?" Sam looked all the more curious as they went. "You're probably right. I'm not taking near enough advantage of what they're offering around here. If these human ponies want to be all... their thing, I should jump on that and ride it."
They arrived in front of the school, but there were some students milling around. Rather than draw attention to themselves or the portal, they waited for the crowd to disperse while looking uninterested.
"Are ya new in town?" asked human-Apple Bloom, grinning at Lucy. "Nice to meetcha!"
Author's Note
Bon Bon wants to roam horse land for a bit, Lyra rails against the mad workings of fate, and Sam realizes there may be more positives to human pony land.
And then suddenly CMC. That can only end well.
33 - Spike at Your Service
Lyra and Bon Bon entered the crystal castle, looking around curiously for its owner. A faint noise brought Lyra's attention to a closet. She pulled open the door with her magic and Spike fell out, tied up but otherwise unharmed. Lyra soon had him free after she recovered from the surprise of him flopping out. "You alright, Spike?"
Spike scrambled to his feet. "Yeah, thanks. There I was just cleaning up like usual and bam! I'm in a closet."
Bon Bon approached Spike with wide eyes. "Are you a for-real dragon?"
Spike blinked slowly. "We've met before, Sweetie Drops."
Lyra sighed softly. "Spike, meet human-Sweetie."
Spike frowned confusedly before it clicked. "No way?! Twilight's gonna freak out when she hears this!"
Bon Bon circled around Spike curiously. "She doesn't have to know. It can be our secret."
Spike rolled a claw. "Yeah yeah, I know that tone of voice. What are you looking for?"
Lyra smiled with some uncertainty. "Do you know how Twilight's portal machine works? We need to get Bon Bon here back to her home, and we have some ponies trapped on the other side. If you can help us, you'll be their hero, Spike."
Spike struck a hopefully heroic pose. "You can count on me!" He dashed for the stairs and the two ponies followed after him, descending down into the lab. "Uh oh..." Spike moved over to the broken machine and started poking and prodding around. "Looks like the ruby wore out. Good thing I know Rarity has a few extra! Be back in a bit." And off he went to visit his favorite would-be marefriend.
Bon Bon smiled. "See, easy. You need to calm down, Lyra. Both of you are so high-strung sometimes." She reached out a hoof. "This is still freaky. How come I don't have wings or a horn? Oh, or both!"
Lucy knew Apple Bloom back in Ponyville, though the two had never become very good friends. The girl was a bit hyper, and had a clique already, and Lucy had a cutie mark already. "Uh, hey there Bloom." Mistake one.
Apple Bloom blinked at Lucy. "How'd ya guess mah name like that?"
Sam snorted softly. "People in this town do it to me all the time, why are you so surprised?"
Apple Bloom looked up at Sam, then back at Lucy. "Oh yeah... Sorry, ah commute in from tha country." She thrust out a hand. "What's yer name?"
Lucy accepted the hand, trying to give a light shake, but Bloom had a firm grip and a powerful shake, leaving her rattled. "Uh... Lucy, nice to meet... you?"
Apple Bloom looked up at Sam again and offered him a hand next. "And yer name is?"
Sam smiled. "It's a little thing, but having someone ask my name instead of knowing it automatically is amazing. My name's Sam, nice to meet you, kid." He accepted her hand and they shook. "So, what's up?"
Apple Bloom shook her head. "Jus' figured ah'd say hi to tha new folk. See you in school later?" She looked at Lucy as she said that.
Lucy rubbed behind her head. "Uh, maybe. Mom's still working on, you know, registration and stuff."
Apple Bloom waved a hand dismissively. "Ya just let the grownups worry about that. We don't need nothing fancy ta get ta class. Ah'll show ya around!" She grabbed for Lucy's hand and began pulling her towards the highschool.
"Aren't I young for high school?!" complained Lucy as she was tugged along.
"Shucks no, they put together tha junior high and high school together a long time ago," explained Apple Bloom as Sam just trailed behind, following quietly.
Lucy tried to object, but Apple Bloom was far too invested in pointing out parts of the school and describing them. "That's really nice. What a lovely trophy case you have, but I'm supposed to meet someone out front."
Apple Bloom grinned. "We could wait for them together if ya want."
Sam raised a brow. "Don't you have something to be doing?"
Apple Bloom shrugged. "Not really. Mah friends got tha sniffles and didn't come in today. Ah ain't botherin' ya, am I?"
Lucy winced internally. She didn't want to be rude to the girl. She hadn't really done anything wrong per se, besides being friendly. "No! No, I'm just worried I'll miss them is all. They're a little... shy, and I don't want to run into them with too many strange faces."
Sam made a gentle shooing motion. "Yeah, thanks for the tour, but we aren't going to school today." Under his breath he added, "Or ever..."
Apple Bloom nodded a little. "Well, if yer sure?" The bell suddenly rung. "Well shoot! Ah gotta go anyway. Have fun!" She waved as she ran off to class, leaving Sam and Lucy to relative peace.
Lucy quickly moved for the exit. "Nice girl, but a little too grabby for my tastes."
Sam followed along with a raised brow. "I forgot, how old were you before you got reset to a kid?"
Lucy looked over her shoulder as she walked. "Old enough for my student loans to be a distant memory."
Sam gave a soft 'huh' as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. "You're handling it pretty well."
Lucy shrugged. "I was given over thirty bonus years of life and a whole new world to explore while doing it. I could mope and whine about it, I guess, but I decided not to look this gift horse in the mouth."
"You did that on purpose."
"Maybe." Lucy smiled. "Nothing wrong with taking what's given to you and going for the better parts of it. Lemons, lemonade, you know the saying."
They arrived at the statue and the crowd had vanished, presumably off to their respective classes. Sam frowned a little. "Sure, but I doubt whoever made that up was thinking about becoming a horse at the time."
Author's Note
Spike to the rescue! Where is Twilight anyway? Lucy and Sam handle themselves reasonably at least, deflecting the typos in Apple Bloom's crazy accent.
34 - Welcome to Equestria... Again?
Lucy reached out a small hand and found cold stone at the base of the statue. She frowned delicately. "That's odd..."
Sam stepped in over Lucy and gave a shove against the unyielding stone. "It's supposed to be here, right?"
Lucy nodded. "Yes, but maybe they had to shut it off for a few minutes? I don't know what it runs on. Magic, or electricity, or fond wishes. I'd like to find out though."
Suddenly a human popped through the wall, Bon Bon. Lyra emerged moments later with a big smile. "You're here! Oh thank Celestia! Ready to go back?"
Bon Bon looked upset and crossed her arms. "I want to see more of the magic horse land."
Sam hiked a thumb at her. "She can take my place if that works."
"No no no no." Lyra moved around Sam, gently nudging him towards the portal. "You in. You, not in. Let's keep the line moving."
Lucy smiled up at Bon Bon. "Goodbye." She stepped calmly into the stone, gone back to Equestria.
Lyra soon had Sam through, and everyone was back where they should be. Spike pulled a small switch, turning off the portal before more accidents could occur. "Everypony alright?"
Sam, returned to ponydom, rose up to his hooves with an angry snort. "Let's get this over with. Where do I have to go to get back to what I was doing?"
Lyra took a slow breath, sagging in place. "Give me a moment. I'm just glad everything is working out right now..."
Lucy moved to Lyra and hugged one of her legs before moving for the stairs. "Be good, Sam. They'll return you. They've yet to break a promise to me." And she was gone.
Spike rubbed behind his head, "Next time Twilight goes to a book fair, maybe I'll go with her instead."
Lyra perked an ear at Spike. "Is that where she is? Huh. Oh! You can send letters to Celestia right?"
"Sure can, why?"
Lyra sat on her haunches and smiled. "Tell her I have Sam and we're ready to do whatever she has in mind to fix things."
Sam blinked as he approached Lyra. "You mean you don't even know what we're doing?"
Lyra shrugged. "Celestia is doing it, not me. My job was just to fetch you."
Sam held up his hooves, shaking them. "No way! I don't want to be some kind of guinea pig!"
Spike gave a soft pshaw. "Celestia'd never hurt somepony like that." He breathed on a scroll, sending it off in a green vapor cloud. "She'll get that in a moment or two."
Lyra smiled at Sam. "Relax. Celestia is very kind and great. She won't let you come to any harm, and she'll get you back to where you want to be afterwards, be that through the portal there, or wherever else."
Sam tilted his head. "Home?"
Lyra perked her ears. "Is home your original world? Probably... not that. That's not possible as far as I've been told, and I'm really sorry about that..."
Sam flopped to his haunches. "Yeah... I kinda figured I'd lost rights to there when I went over the cliff."
Lyra smiled hesitantly. "It's not quite like that. We'll get through this, together, as friends, alright?"
With a sudden bright flash, Celestia appeared before them, folding her wings back against herself. "Lyra, Spike. Good to see you both." Her eyes fixed on Sam. "Ah, and our errant human. Good of you to join us."
Sam's ears wilted and he shrank back, clearly fearing the worst.
Celestia tilted her head. "Don't look that way. You're not here to be punished. I need your help to set things right, so other ponies, and humans, don't fall through the cracks. We're going to fix the wall between our worlds, so only those who really want to be here will find the way, and in a controlled fashion, and the other way around. I'm not sure what pony would desire it, but we can't rule it out." She held out a hoof towards Sam. "Are you willing to help?"
Sam looked at the gold-lined hoof and the towering pony that owned it before he stood up tall and offered his own hoof, bumping them together. "What do I have to do?"
Celestia smiled. "Nothing too difficult. Come with me." She draped a wing over him, and they were both gone in a bright flash, leaving Lyra and Spike in the basement.
Lyra looked over at Spike, tapping her chin. "So... Today's been a day, huh?"
Spike laughed at that. "That's an understatement."
Lyra smiled and gestured for the stairs. "You deserve a milkshake, Spike. We both do. My treat."
Spike clapped his claws together as he hurried for the stairs, clearly eager to accept this offer. "Can I get one with emeralds mixed in?"
Lyra cringed softly. "If they're having a sale or you bring your own, champ. Professional friend doesn't make that many bits."
They ascended to the first floor, then left the castle, heading into Ponyville proper. "Thanks, for your help today Spike. Everything was going wrong at once! You were the only part of the day, well, besides Lucy, that went the way it was supposed to."
Spike tilted his head. "If she hadn't run off, I'd say we should invite her along too."
Lyra smiled. "I'll catch her another time. For now, it's just the two of us."
They enjoyed their frozen treats and shared some idle chat, and were able to shed some of the stress of the day. It had been quite a trip, but both had made it through.
Author's Note
And so draws this actiony portion of the story, phew! And with only a few dozen typos, a new record!
35 - I am No One, and a Pony
Lyra smiled across at the unkempt earth pony seated with her in the room. He looked… disheveled, and not in the usual way that once-humans were. She couldn't quite put a hoof on it, but one thing was clear, this stallion needed a friend, and she would try to be that friend. "Hello. I'm Lyra, Lyra Heartstrings, and welcome to my office. Here you can say what's on your mind and know that your words are safe, and you can't get in trouble for telling me the truth in your mind. I want to know more about you, and to help you, as a friend."
“Okay, I don’t know what they told you, but I did NOT defecate in a public fountain. That was already there when I got there,” Iam Noone’s eyes darted around the office, “There was an altercation with a salad, but that’s mostly your universe’s fault for making me eat plants. And, okay, I did get pretty foul mouthed in front of that horse-baby-thing…. what do you call your larvae again? Seems like there’s a special horse word...”
Lyra tilted her head a little. "I think you're looking for 'foal'. Were you a human, or… some kind of insect? I didn't know humans had larvae?" Lyra shook her head a bit, trying to free herself from the stunning effect of the introduction. "Alright, relax. I'm not here to blame you for things, but… uh… you're alright with using bathrooms right? We have a nice one just down the hall there." She pointed to an adjoining hallway. "I won't get mad if you ever need to use it."
Iam just blinked slowly, “Of course I can use the bathroom. I’m not THAT schizo…. or drunk… or…. okay, never-mind it’s a fair question. I was more or less human, though, yes. It’s weird that you would ask if I was a bug. Am I still under arrest? Are there drug charges, because if there are then I swear everything I had on me was perfectly legal in my universe You can’t expect me to be familiar with the contraband laws of every random universe I get amalgamated into. You are my lawyer, right? Because you’re not really giving off a ‘lawyer’ vibe.”
Lyra shook her head then. "I admire your energy, but we're not in any rush, promise!" She levitated a chocolate out of a bag and floated it towards her guest. "You're not under arrest for anything. You haven't hurt anypony that I'm aware of? Besides coming off as a little… odd. Tell me, what were you like before you came here, to Equestria? Did you have a job? Friends? A home?"
“Wait a minute, if I’m not under arrest, then that means they took me to a….” Iam’s milky pink eye’s went wide with panic, “No! Dear Jeezac, god of prozation, no! I just told the truth to a head-shrinker! Please, miss doctor horse, I swear I’m not a crazy person… horse… uh… horse-person! It’s… it’s the drugs! Yeah, the mushrooms! I’m just so high I say crazy things sometimes. There’s no need to medicate my brain-meats into prozation! I’m just a tacky brown and blue dirt-horse! Look at me, skippity dee, doing pastel horse things. You can just send me to the drunk tank with all the other degenerate drug-horses.”
Iam got up and paced in a little circle in agitation, whimpering, until finally collapsing into a sulking heap, “Fine, send me to the nut house! Just please for once show enough respect to not call it a hospital! It’s crazy jail! You don’t have any right to feel better for sending me there! It’s not fair! I’m not even deluded this time. I really am just high. How's that so bad? All your kind ever do is pump people like me full of drugs, anyway.”
Lyra looked… entirely baffled. Never had one of her patients reacted in quite this way, and she really wasn't sure what to do about it. "Medicines are for sick ponies, Iam. You're not acting sick, just confused. I'd like to help you with that." She rubbed behind her head, trying to marshal her vast reservoir of skills. "I'd like to learn about you. No drugs." She wobbled the chocolate she still head in front of Iam. "Unless you count chocolates. It's really good! My marefriend made it for me. Never met a pony that didn't like it."
“Wait,” Iam seemed disturbed by this reaction and took a deep breath, “You genuinely have no idea what I’m talking about do you? Why would you? Okay, I’ll take the chocolate, worst case scenario it’s drugged, and I sit around the looney for a couple of weeks or until I fall out of the universe again.”
Iam chewed the chocolate cautiously then grinned stupidly in embarrassment, “Damn, that is seriously good chocolate. But seriously, I wasn’t being arrested? Some orange country-western horse just lassoed me and dragged me here saying, ‘this is for every ponies own good, sugar-cube’, so given the circumstances I kinda assumed she was the sheriff around here, because honestly I have no idea how that works. I’m Iam Noone, by the way.”
Lyra clopped her forehooves together. "Sounds like Applejack! She's nice, but she can get a little rough when she thinks that's the right thing to do." She waved a hoof around the room. "This isn't a jail, promise. You were brought here because you're lost and confused, and that's not a crime." She returned to her chair, keeping an eye on her curious patient. "What do you like to do, when you're relaxed and just want to do something?"
A sudden thought came to her. "Have you been in jail a lot of times before?"
“Heh, not really. Not real-people jail. Crazy-jail more than a few times. Never for more than a couple of weeks at a time. I’m not a danger to myself or others. And seriously, sorry for earlier. I always act out when somebody drags me to the nut-house or I get arrested,” Iam laughed evenly, “It’s rule #3, always play the crazy card if it can get you out of real jail. One of the only real benefits of having a crazy card.”
Iam shrugged as best as his foreign body allowed, “As to the other….. I’m not really relaxed, pretty much ever. I have the emotional range of a goldfish. And this isn’t even the first time I’ve fallen out of the universe. Usually I fall into a black space with these floating letters spelling out, ‘Will you please just leave me alone?’, but this is the first time falling back into a different universe. Also the first time anyone’s not automatically assumed I'm just crazy or tripping balls. Which is weird. Because I am clearly a crazy person who clearly does drugs. Why would you possibly assume I was telling the truth about being from another universe? And do you have any idea why I’m a horse?”
Lyra pointed at herself. "We'll start with the easiest to answer. I believe you're a pony because I'm a pony, and so is almost everypony else in this town, including the one that brought you here." The more she heard, the more concerned she became. "Be honest… Were you unhappy before? You sound like you weren't doing so well where you were from." A cautious smile was then displayed. "Would you like a fresh chance? Whatever you did in the past can stay there. Nopony on the entire planet knows about it. What do you say?"
“I’m pretty much stuck here. Unless I fall back out. It wasn’t the mushrooms that did it though, tried that again, just to see if I could fall back into Dark Letters house, again, assuming he’s know what world to kick me back into,” Iam laughed and shook his head, “That led to the exact chain events that led to me being right here in your office. It’s entirely possible that my universe was just fed up with me. And decided that I’m your problem now.”
Lyra extended a hoof. "I'm not going to try to second-guess universes, but you're here now, so it's up to you right? Do you want to try over again?" She held the hoof out towards him, hoping he would accept the gesture as given.
Iam laughed shortly, extended his hoof and asked earnestly, “How in the hell do you hold anything with this. I do it all the time, but really? How does that even work?”
Lyra met his hoof with her own, clopping them together gently. "You don't have to hold things to do a hoof bump, but there's also a shake like this." She pressed her hoof to his, making an up and down motion against it, showing him how it's done. "Both are acceptable."
Iam shook the offered hoof and chuckled lucidly, “You know you’ve got a hole in your sky right? I just thought it was just me, which wouldn’t be as weird as it it seems, like I said I do fall out of the universe from time to time. But if it’s happening enough that apparently you just bring us all to see a social worker, who basically checks to make sure we’re all friendly… wait… is there actually a half-way house for polymorphed aliens? There is isn’t there?”
Lyra blinked, ears erect at Iam. "Um, yes? We're working on the 'hole in the sky' thing, promise, but that's not here or there." She rubbed behind her head nervously, considering things a moment. "Does it bother you that you're not the only one, or comfort?"
“Either way good with me,” Iam shrugged, “Seriously, though, you might want to get that checked out. Shouldn’t be any real problem unless you’ve got an active portal to a subprime parallel material plane… or if you you’re using an adjacent lower plane as some sort of high security prison. Last one’s probably not worth even mentioning… doesn’t seem you guys style to send criminals to Hades and such. So I wouldn’t worry about it.”
Lyra rubbed behind her head. "Uh, not usually?" She smiled hesitantly. "You don't like answering questions much. I'm only asking to get to know you better." She tilted her head as she pointed at one of Iam's hooves. "Like, you're new at those. Not having fingers is a big, often traumatic, thing for once-humans. How are you getting along? Would you like to go over getting the most out of them? I'm the one to ask. The average pony'll think you're a strange adult that doesn't already know, and they're not trying to be mean, but they don't know your background."
“Heh,” Iam cocked his head sideways, “You’re a really helpfully hor...er pony-woman, Miss Lyra.”
He suddenly reached across and booped her on the nose, then in his most serious tone continued, “Don’t ever go to my world. They have a pill to fix that. But, yeah, the hooves are a problem. I can pick things up, but finer tasks like writing and measuring ingredients… If I’m gonna take up my old job as a dru… uh recreational alchemist… I need to know how that works. Without horny telekinesis. Since I don’t have one of those. I guess I’m what you’d call a dirt hors...er dirt pony?”
Lyra squeaked at the touch and rubbed her own nose. "Earth pony. They tend to be strong, durable." She rolled a hoof. "They can develop an intense bond with the ground and things living on it, like plants and animals. Oh!" She suddenly smiled brightly. "If you were an alchemist, you could grow plants for that pretty good with some practice." She leaned off to the side, checking for any cutie marks. "You should try that out. Gardening and farming are useful skills, not to mention relaxing and fulfilling."
Iam’s addled brain swam in the possibilities and he risked a brief smile, “Yeah, that sounds like a nice thought, I didn’t have much on me when I came through. I’m not really even sure if my clothes disappeared in the transition, or if I was running around naked when I fell through the cracks… I was a bit addled, you understand. Did the redneck horse who brought me here bring in my book-bag? It’s the only thing that followed me through. In addition to a few… personal items… it’s got some of the… uh… alchemy ingredients… from my world. There’s almost definitely some seeds in there I could use to get started.”
Lyra slipped to her hooves. "From what I understand, nudity is a strong taboo with humans. Are you alright being naked right now? We can get you some clothes if it would make you more comfortable. It's not against any customs to wear them, just not required." She reached up to tap her tophat. "See, I have some." She moved towards a closet and pulled it open with her magic, peeking inside and starting to dig around the contents. "Everything she found she brought here, just in case. I didn't see anything immediately exciting, but you'd know better than I. As long as it won't hurt anypony, have a look."
Iam began rummaging through the old book-bag that now contained the sum of his worldly possessions, laying them out on the desk as he explained each to the curious Miss Heartstrings.
“Hmmm, my pipe, I’ve seen a pony or two walking around with one of these, so I assume you know what it’s for. Most of my alchemy involves inhaling vapors or smoke, so this little steel pipe is a crucial tool for me,” Iam chuckled a little at the half-lie, “And my glass pipe. This one is for vaporizing… uh… reagents? I think that’s the word. It’s for smoking things that don’t burn very well.”
The next was a pouch containing a little hypodermic needle and a silver spoon. Iam blushed and quickly swept it back into the bag, “That’s… personal… lets see, what else… Hey, my Misfits T-shirt! Lucky break. Didn’t realize that was even in there. I love that shirt. And here we go! Behold the elements of human alchemy!”
Iam removed four clear bags filled with various substances and spread them across the table. The first contained a mass of green buds from an unfamiliar plant. The second was filled with strange dried mushrooms. The third contained a non-descript white powder. In the fourth were three vials of blue liquid.
Lyra had little clue what most of the contents were, but she knew what mushrooms were! And a pipe! And one of them fancy pipes! "So is that your specialty, smoke alchemy? Fascinating! Your mushrooms look already dried out though… I guess you won't be growing those, unless…" She looked thoughtful a moment. "You should keep them safe until you get used to gardening and see if you can't use some earth pony magic to get them going again." She pointed at the powder and fluids. "I don't think there's much you can do for these though? Enjoy it while it lasts?"
Her magic wrapped around the shirt, plucking it up and turning it around to look at it in a new light. "Put up your hooves and we can see if it fits? No promises though."
“Thanks,” said Iam enthusiastically as the shirt slipped over his barrell, “Not that running around naked really bothers me, but it’s nice to have a piece of home.”
“Smoke alchemist, huh? I like it. Sounds all respectable. So you have shrooms here, I take it? You seemed to recognize them,” Iam reached over to the bag with vials, “These are a lot like those but WAY stronger. One drop’ll put you in waking dream for hours, so you better hope it’s not a nightmare. Take a whole vial… well you’ll either end up dead or… here I guess.”
Iam paused and took a long breath, before taking the bag with a clumsy hoof and passing it to Lyra, “Actually, give this to someone who can study it proper. Military designed the stuff way back, thought it might give soldiers psychic powers… that’s kinda like magic for humans. It was supposedly a partial success, but the side effects made it useless for military purposes. I’m done with it. Seriously, though, warn whoever you give it to to be careful with it. It can absorb straight through the skin, and people on my world call it ‘acid’; as in ‘melts your brain’.”
Lyra took it in her magic, lest she touch it. She gave it a wary look. "I'll… see what Twilight thinks of it, or maybe Zecora. I hear she's really good at odd chemicals. Uh, Of course we have mushrooms! They're tasty." She tilted her head a bit as she put the dangerous chemical aside for later transport. "The ones that aren't plants seem to be very… dangerous. I'm glad you're willing to put them aside. Besides, there's no market for dangerous chemicals anyway. What pony would pay for that?" She asked as if entirely baffled on the idea of why anyone, er, pony, would ever want such a thing. "Oh, that shirt looks good on you by the way. What does it mean?"
“Most do it for fun,” Iam shrugged, “Think of like… bungee jumping. Yeah that’s a good equivalent, it’s one hell of a rush, at one hell of a risk. Either one, if something goes wrong…”
Iam brought his hoof down sharply for emphasis, “Splat! Brain Meats everywhere. As far as the shirt goes, it’s a rock band where I come from. Punk rock, I don’t know if that’s a thing here. I’m not sure what it ‘means’ really. I guess to me it just means that I’m still me. All the meds, all the drug, all the pony aside. I’m still Iam Noone, the man who wasn’t there. Or I guess the pony who wasn’t there in this case.”
Iam looked to his backside suddenly then looked puzzled, “Don’t know what I thought was going to happen back there, felt like I was on to something for a minute. Well, I appreciate your time Ms. Lyra. You’ve been a great help to me in starting my new life here. I wish there was something I could offer you….”
Iams eyes lingered on the bag of white powder, “Actually, I think you may know the one pony who could put this to actual good use. It’s Coca-leaf extract. In its pure form it’s highly addictive and can be as dangerous as the acid, but in the hands of a master candy-maker it’s the key ingredient to the greatest beverage ever invented on my world. It just takes soda water, caramel syrup, and maybe a two percent solution of the key ingredient. I’m sure the pony who made those chocolates could figure it out. Just be careful with that stuff. It’s not gonna melt your brain, but in large amounts it can cause all sorts of problem. You just want enough to give the drink some pep. And remember, that’s all of that there is or likely ever will be in this world. And when youre candy-maker gets it right tell her to call it ‘Real Coke’.”
Lyra plucked up the bag and set it with the other dangerous things she may or may not see destroyed without much regret. "I'm not sure how much she's into drinks, but I'll ask her just to be certain." She smiled at Iam. "I'm glad to hear you're in such good spirits, but to be on the safe side, why don't you check in once a week or so, let me know how things are going? It's not failing to want somepony to talk to, and that's what I'm here for. Nopony should have to stand alone." She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Speaking of, let's go see Mayor Mare. I'm sure we can get you a little plot of land to start with and get to growing."
She thrust a hoof upwards with a sudden thought. "But! If you find you don't like gardening, don't panic. You won't hurt my feelings telling me that. We'll find what calls to you. Being honest with ourselves is more important than being right on the first, third, or seventeenth time, alright?"
“Actually, I was something of a gardener back home,” Iam nodded as he followed Lyra out the door then paused, “…wait, the Mayor’s name is actually Mayor Mare?”
Author's Note
A collab chapter! It's been a while since one of these. This one was written to be basically self-contained, able to be enjoyed without prequel or followup.
Enjoy! And I blame KikimoraSelrahcNoone for all typos.
36 - It's a Change to Be a Pony
Lyra took a soft breath as she sat back in her seat. The recent excitement was still lingering in her, but she did her best to set it aside. It wasn't fair to the exotic patient in front of her. "So… Hi. I'm Lyra Heartstrings, but I get the feeling you already know that? You said you're a once-human…" She rolled a hoof. "If I could have you prove that somehow?"
The changeling thought for a moment before grinning deviously. “Sure thing.” He rolled his hoof in the same way that Lyra did when it was enveloped in a green flame. The hoof morphed into something resembling a human hand, but the digits fell at odd angles. “Will this do?” he asked.
”I can never get it to work like it should,” he muttered under his breath, watching the digits fall.
Lyra perked an ear at the oddly shaped hand. "That's… kinda weird." She flashed a smile. "How about more of a knowledge thing? What did you do before you got here? What's your name? What'd you do? You know, that kind of thing. We should get to know each other."
“Ah.” The changeling nodded politely. “How rude of me, I’m Simon Turing.” He extended his hand with a calculated grin before noticing it was still a disturbingly bad counterfeit of the real thing. “Sorry.” The hand changed back into a hoof.
“As for what I did, I was one of the lead developers at a tech company that my friend started up. He wanted to work on improving communication while I wanted to work on simulation software. We decided to combine a lot of our ideas, and that led to some pretty interesting inventions.”
“Oh!” The changeling suddenly leaned forward. “Have you heard of the mechanical differential? Some of the new pedaling carriages in Canterlot are using it! It’s a human invention from several years ago.”
A march of unfamiliar words danced across Lyra's ears, and she became a little more convinced the changeling in front of her really might be a once-human. "A pleasure to meet you, Simon. Let me ask this." She reached out and gently bumped hooves. "How do you feel? You… seem to have gotten a hold of your new body. I'm afraid I couldn't really relate to a changeling body. The closest I got was their leader brainwashing me." She made a bit of a face. "Let's not think on that for long."
“Wait.” Simon tilted his head. “Changelings have a leader? Should I meet with him, or her?” He studied Lyra as he said that, watching for a reaction. “Though, brainwashing doesn’t seem very smart.” He shook his head. “Whatever, that can wait until later.”
“Being a changeling is a bit different from being a human,” Simon continued. “First—” he raised a hoof “—it always feels like my hands are balled up into fists, but the granular jamming these hooves must use allows me to pick up things that would normally be hard for humans to pick up. Also, it’s kind of hard getting used to feeling the emotions of everypony around me. And feeling their magic is a little disorienting, especially if they’re using a complicated spell.” He paused, widening his eyes for an instant. It was the same look one would give after letting a secret slip out. ”And it’s even more frustrating since I usually have no idea what it means,” he finished one last statement, forcing out a frown so his surprise could be read as annoyance.
"Their leader is a big meanie. You'll do just as well avoiding her entirely. I'm afraid I don't know too much about changelings beyond the basics, like shapeshifting, which you seem to have down? I mean, you had me going with your Twilight disguise! You really shouldn't imitate other ponies though, that's not nice." A thought came to her suddenly. "Wait, you can feel magic?"
“Mhmm.” Simon nodded. “Well, feeling magic comes from the fact that I can feel emotions like love, and love is often used when concentrating and casting spells, especially with strong or complicated ones.” He laid back on his chair and smiled at Lyra, relaxing a bit for the first time since he came in. “And thanks for the compliment! It’s not really a matter of niceness though, more of survival.” The ceiling seemed to hold his interest for a couple seconds before he spoke again, gesticulating more freely now.
“I decided to stop in Manehattan once, to see what ponies in urban areas needed, and that’s when I ran into the Loom gang. The best way I could describe them would be a bunch of professional con-ponies that prowled the streets for anything new. Since many entrepreneurs need to test their ideas with the general public even before they build them, the gang sought out ponies that showed off new inventions and ideas. Then, if the entrepreneurs on the streets seemed broke, they would simply give the ideas to the companies that worked in the closest area, and the companies couldn’t refuse, lest their competitors get the ideas instead.
”On the other hand, if the entrepreneurs on the street seemed wealthy enough, then the leader, Carbon Copy, I think his name was, would approach the entrepreneur with a deal: either pay them now or lose their invention. Either way, they would launder their money through a suspiciously successful textile business called Loom Corp.
“Since I didn’t have a patent yet, I promised that I’d pay him a fee of exactly ten thousand bits for the rest of his life if he didn’t give the idea to a company. That would protect my invention for a little while, and it would also mean I would only have to pay him ten thousand bits up front. However, it wouldn’t protect me if a large company offered something better.
“Luckily, being a changeling gave me a unique advantage. I managed to pose as Carbon Copy’s… carbon copy, and took his place in the gang for a while. To explain the change in attitude, I told his followers that I was sick, and that they should get me to the hospital if I didn’t remember anything about that day. Then, since he seemed to use fear of blackmail to get his ponies to do what he wanted, I was able to tell his followers to give the ideas out to random companies, instead of the ones we trusted, claiming we shouldn’t settle for safe companies when we could show them who’s really control. Of course, this would destroy the trust that Carbon had worked for for so long, as no company would pay more than a bit for the ideas if they knew they were given out at random.
“I also messed with a few invention papers, adding mistakes here and there. A few unlucky companies would pay thousands or even millions of bits for an idea that didn’t work at all.
“And at the end of the day, Carbon Copy came back with several more documents, but was sent to the hospital before he could do anything. His followers feared him, yes, but they also feared for their livelihood and what would happen to it if their leader became reckless from his sickness. So Carbon was stuck in the hospital for two more days before he could check out, only to find that his gang had departed, that his company was going bankrupt, and that one of the companies he sold to decided to rat him out to the entrepreneurs he was stealing from.
“Don’t worry though, I made sure his followers were well off enough that they could live their own lives without worry after Carbon was gone.”
Simon sat back up, gazing at Lyra with steely eyes. He watched for any suspicion or disgust in response to his tale of impersonation and trespassing before continuing, “If I hadn’t changed into the pony, I wouldn’t even have found out that Carbon had a gang, let alone the fact that he was laundering money he stole from entrepreneurs over several years.” Now he was smiling. He seemed a bit more at peace. “And from then on, it became a bit of a habitual strategy of mine, but it proved its worth more often than not.”
“And lastly,” he said, “while I understand that the changeling leader could be pretty mean, finding out about my biology could be pretty important.”
Noticing a cup of water on the desk next to him, Simon levitated it in front of his face. But instead of sipping from it, he simply stared at it for a second before setting it back down.
“Besides, isn’t treating potentially harmful members of society part of your job? Or was this more of a culture clash?”
Lyra pointed at the instrument on her flank. "Would you believe I started as a musician? But life's funny sometimes, and we have to look at where we are and where we want to be, and while I was making ponies happy with my music, I thought I could make a bigger difference helping them out one by one, you know, face-to-face?" She leaned forward a bit in her chair. "You seem to be adapting very well. Do you miss your, you know... home? With all the other humans." The matter of crime syndicates and their dealings went largely over her head. That was the sort of thing that happened in movies, right?
“I made my decision when I decided to try that thing.” He muttered.
“No,” he continued, shaking his head. “In the first few weeks or months after I left, sure I missed my friends. But the fact that nobody at my company came looking for me or even sent me a message, despite me being the co-founder and despite VoxTech’s enormous resources and enormous curiosity…” Simon tried to hold his emotions in, but choked at the last moment. His face stayed neutral, but he had to steady his breath before continuing.
”I think it’s more likely that I’m still there somehow, perhaps as the original version of a copy. So I can’t… I can’t be sad for them, because they didn’t lose me. I get a new chance at life, and I plan to take advantage of that.”
He continued to steady his breathing.
“I can definitely believe a musician might become a psychiatrist. Music can often inspire strong emotions, and I can understand wanting to inspire ponies to be better… Have you ever used music to help with psychiatry?” he tried to turn the tables.
With a soft pop, Lyra's lyre appeared beside her. "I have a few times, but you bring up a few questions. If you don't mind, how could they have sent a message to you?" She perked an ear. "Can you send messages to them?" Her magic softly felt along the strings, making the ghost of a potential song play over them. "That would put you ahead of the others."
A ghost of a smile passed over Simon’s face, and he answered with the barest of details, “I was testing universal surface theory, one of the many theories that we thought up to further the simulator side of our business. You see, like this table—” he tapped his hoof “—a two dimensional surface existing in three dimensions, our universe could be a three dimensional surface existing in four dimensions. But unlike the table, the reason it stays a surface is because of two or more opposing forces—” he pressed his hooves together “—like if you were pressing dough together with your hooves.” A wild grin plastered itself over Simon’s face as he looked at Lyra. “But what if, somewhere on that surface, one of the hooves pushed too hard, and the other too little?”
Simon’s smile lingered for one more moment before it disappeared entirely. “They could send messages to me, if the theory’s correct, but I seriously doubt that I could send messages back since I don’t have access to the company resources... Plus,” Simon sighed, “it could be the reason humans are coming here, but on the other hand, our dimensions could be on a collision course, and the only way to stop it would be to send more stuff over.”
He laid back against the armrest of his chair, never taking his eyes off Lyra as he did so, before sighing again. “That was a bit of a downer. You wouldn’t mind talking about something less serious, would you? Like, um… when did you learn you liked music? Or, how did you come to be a psychiatrist?”
Lyra's magic gently coaxed the lyre into full action, playing a peaceful melody that filled the room but didn't drown out her talking. "I really hope the answer isn't just to keep throwing things across and hoping for the best? But alright, let's put that aside for now. I don't understand dimensional stuff all that well, but it's amazing to me how much you seem to." She tapped her chin, thinking of something not immediately relevant to the current crisis. "Music came to me at a young age. I was small, eager, and curious. I tried a lot of things, but the moment I got my hooves on a harp, I knew I liked it."
She gestured at the lyre. "But harps are huge, and I didn't like that. Once somepony showed me they came in tiny cute sizes, I was sold forever." She twanged a string softly. "It was good inspiration to get my magic down. I mean, sure I could strum with my hooves, but horn magic is so much more precise. I guess that's how most unicorns feel." She pointed at her guest. "You seem to have your horn magic working alright?"
The sound of trickling water was added to the music as Simon levitated the water from his cup. “I have levitation magic working pretty well,” he said. “But I’m surprised you just picked up a harp and started playing. For me, I can only stick with a skill if someone other than me gets enjoyment out of it. After all, nothing is beautiful, or even worthwhile, without someone to perceive it as such.”
Lyra tilted her head slowly. "But a lot of ponies like my music. I used to play in the town philharmonic until I found this new profession. Who doesn't like well-played music?" She smiled gently. "Besides, you have to find what you like, nopony else. You're the one that's going to be doing it, after all." She rolled a hoof at him. "Alright, so, I have to ask, what do you think you need right now? I'm listening and ready to help, but you have me lost. You have a really good grip on things right now."
Simon smirked behind the water that was still twirling in the air. “Then I suppose my facade is quite well constructed. Because unlike you, I cannot love or like anything without someone or someone loving it as well.“
Now a bit more calm, he leaned back in his chair and held his head up with a hoof, finally opening up a bit. “Even before I came here, my desires only ever revolved around those closest to me, despite the fact that I was less attached than most. But because of the difference in culture and technology, as well as my biology, I found it hard to make friends here without spending all my energy lying about who I was and what I did.”
Would that Lyra had more modern training and could explain the mental processes at work behind such thoughts. Instead she just smiled a little. "If you're with real friends, they'll accept you for what you like, not wait for you to parrot what they like." She pointed at Simon. "What do you like? You're alone in the world but have one of everything, what would you pick up and play with?" She perked an ear at the changeling-human-pony. "I hope you don't mind my saying you're a curious pony, and I mean that in a good way!" She smiled genuinely as she adjusted her monocle.
Simon frowned. A field of every item in Equestria flew by in his mind, and he felt nothing for any of it. He looked like he was about to give a quite rude retort about how she ignored what he just said, but then something hit him. He had found something he cared about.
“A foal,” he said coolly. “Or whatever changeling young are called. After all, that’s what I treat all my creations as, and no one would have more love and pride for me.” He slowly looked up at Lyra.
“Maybe I could adopt.”
Lyra canted her head a little, surprised at the answer. "Adopting can be a wonderful thing." She blinked as she realized. "I'm… not really sure how changelings make little changelings? The old-fashioned way I guess? Uh, you don't have to prove that to me one way or the other." She held up a hoof placatingly. "But, you know, a little companionship wouldn't hurt either way… You are full of surprises! I didn't think you'd say that in a million years."
Professional she is not, but genuine she tries to be. "I do wish we had another changeling around for these questions, but ponies and changelings are not on the best terms. I'm going to have to tell the ponies around town to expect you." She tapped her chin. "Not that it's your fault, or even bad, to be what you are. You're fine, better than fine! You're amazing."
For a moment, Simon let his guard down and offered a completely genuine smile. “Thanks. You’re not that bad either.”
“Note to self,” he muttered, “I need to find another changeling.”
Lyra wobbled a hoof. "I'd like to schedule a weekly meeting, just to make sure you're doing alright. There's no shame in having a friend, and I hope you see me as one. For now, do you have a place to stay? You've been in town for longer than today I gather?" A thought came to her suddenly. "Oh! What were you like, you know, before you came here? Is it a big change, or feeling like the same old same old?"
He nodded. “I already have a place, but I wouldn’t mind seeing the ponies in the once-human home, as you call it.” A serene expression came over Simon’s face as memories passed by. “Before I came here, I was practically on my deathbed, using myself as a guinea pig for crazy experiments that could kill me as easily as they could succeed. I was an entrepreneur then, and I’m an entrepreneur now, so not much has changed there. I would like to see my grandkids again sometime, but I don’t think I would’ve had much of a chance back home, what with the myeloma and all. The main difference between then and now is that I feel a lot younger and healthier now.”
Lyra's expression became both concerned and a little sad. "It can't be fun to leave your family behind like that… Having to leave behind my Sweetie Drops would be pretty awful." She frowned a little. "But you're the second once-human I know of that was under the… oh wait…" She tapped at the desk next to her. "Huh… Now tell me if I'm way off-track here," said few therapists, "but a lot of once-humans were in a very distressed or disassociated kind of state. Falling to their death, under the effects of strong drugs, or in the process of dying and self-medicating? I… can't ignore that as a recurring kind of trigger for this."
Simon tapped his chin. “Maybe… It could either be the state of mind, or people actually died. Either way, I couldn’t tell you much: humans don’t really have a global consensus on the afterlife, and I don’t know why a different state of mind would effect anything back home.”
Lyra gave a bit of a giggle. "I don't know anypony's theories saying you go off to an exotic land of bipeds. I don't think this is… normal." she rolled a hoof. "We're trying to fix it, you know, so ponies don't just keep falling from one to the other." She slipped down to her hooves. "But for you, I'm glad to hear you're getting along so well. I'll show you to the once-human house, but I won't insist you stay there if you have a place, just come by and say hello when you want."
“Thank you.” He stood up from his chair, feeling that the meeting had reached its end. “I suppose I’ll see you later then?”
The water he had been levitating slowly made its way back into the cup on the nearby table.
Lyra nodded with a smile. "Whenever you need me, and at least once a week, just to check up on each other and see how things are going. Friends should check in one each other, right?"
“Right,” Simon agreed.
“Oh,” he said as he turned around and pulled something out from behind him. “I forgot to mention it because I was so excited about this free psychiatry thing, but I noticed one of your quills fell on the floor.” His horn kept the exact same intensity as he levitated the metal tipped object.
Author's Note
Another collab chapter, this time with the mysterious changeling that helped cause a lot of mischief, but Lyra is dedicated to being the best friend around! They should make her the princess of friendship instead... Maybe they would, if she stopped getting typos on the application form.
Sam stood on a raised platform. Twilight stood before him with thick goggles on, making wild notes with a floating quill. To the left, Luna stood stoically, and to the right, Celestia waited patiently. Sam wasn't sure how he felt being between all the rulers of Equestria like this. Oh wait... He turned around and saw the door open as Cadance trotted inside beside her husband, Shining Armor.
Sam sighed softly. "Is there something I should be doing?"
Cadance nodded to each princess in turn before smiling up at the once-human. "I was told you just need to focus on your original home. Don't worry, we're going to take care of this as quickly and smoothly as possible. Thank you for helping us."
Twilight bobbed her head. "Exactly right. You'll be a hero if this works properly." She pulled a large red lever and the room began to hum with power. "Let's say goodbye to random leaks and hello to stabilization!"
Luna nodded lightly. "It will be a pleasure to not see the dreams of other worlds intruding on my domain."
Celestia spread her wings. "Let's focus on the task at hand."
They all went quiet, leaving Sam to fidget while concentrating on the tasty deliciousness of a hamburger, lines at the DMV, television shows, and anything else that came to mind that felt especially 'human'.
Twilight pulled another lever and the room began to pulse, the humming growing deeper, making Sam's lungs seem to vibrate. He hoped that was intentional. The energy crackling in the air suddenly spiked, and Sam was knocked to the ground, slipping off the platform and crashing to the ground below. A swirling vortex yawned wide overhead. He could see fragments of Earth within. New York, Tokyo, was that Berlin?
Twilight cringed back a little. "It's not... going stable like it should..."
Sam hopped to his hooves and climbed quickly back up to the platform, focusing his mind intently on his old home, humble as it was. The swirling mess began to home in on a simple trailer parked quietly among so many others. The door opened. Who was that? He didn't recog--
His old wife stepped out beside the strange man and smiled at him. They kissed. Sam collapsed. Of course she'd move on. And he was dead. Dead and four-legged. Dead and forgotten. Dead...
"It's coming around!" shouted Twilight, though Sam didn't hear her, too busy crying about his lost life. The whirling storm condensed and became a new mirror portal, though it was framed in steel and plastic, and was square and rigid. At its base were lush greens and stones, softening its intimidating presence.
The hum died down, and all the princesses relaxed, no longer needing to donate their power. Twilight excitedly moved up to examine the door. "Everything coming and going has to go through this." She tapped the door lightly. "No more lost ponies or once-humans."
Celestia moved up to examine it as well even as she extended a wing to pat Twilight. "An excellent job. Sister, does the dream world appear more secure?"
Cadance frowned. "Aunties, Twi, can't you see somepony has paid a dear price for this?" All eyes turned to her, then followed her gaze to the crumpled form of Sam, sobbing quietly on the pedestal in the center of the room.
Twilight cringed with growing uncertainty. "Oh, uh... Sorry?"
Sam waved off Twilight's feeble words before slowly sitting up. "I saw... what I needed... to see." He looked down, tears overwhelming him again, but he didn't sob, just crying near silently.
Luna approached Celestia. "The dream world feels whole and well again. Twilight, you have done well, and Sam, your sacrifice will be known. What did you see that brought such despair to your heart?"
Cadance landed beside Sam and draped a pink wing over him. "You are not alone, Sam. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but you helped so many ponies today. Thank you. Thank you so much. You don't have to tell us what you saw if you don't want to, but you are a hero, Sam, and we will make time for you if ever you want it."
Sam looked up at Cadance, wiping off his eyes with a fetlock. "I want to... how? My choices are a doll land where I will be a king of children, or this world of horses." He pointed a hoof at the new human portal. "Or I could go there, but I'm dead there. Dead and gone. Would I appear in the ground? Would I be locked in my own coffin?" He shuddered in terror at the thought of it. "I can't... go anywhere that's really home."
Shining Armor stepped up to join his wife. "I was informed you were seeing a professional friend in Ponyville? Lyra Heartstrings? Did you want to talk with her?"
Sam clenched his teeth before sagging, punching the ground with a hoof impotently. "Yes... yes... I do want to talk to her. She can't know what I'm going through, but that stupid horse cares about me. I'll talk to her... I want to talk to Lucy too."
Shining glanced at Cadance quizzically. She shrugged back, not knowing who Lucy was at first, but then it clicked. "Wait, the crystal pony? Have you seen her recently? Is she well?"
Sam smiled a little. "Yeah... yeah she's fine... She's... a really special person."
Cadance frowned a little, spotting emotions a bit more swiftly than others. "Sam... she's too young for whatever I saw in your eyes."
Sam huffed. "Don't tell me what to do! She's older than I am."
Shining tilted his head a bit. "I... see? Perhaps we should all go to Ponyville and investigate this further."
Author's Note
Sam's a hero! And maybe a pedophile? Cadance is concerned.
Twilight, Sam, Cadance, and Shining Armor all boarded the train headed towards Ponyville. Luna and Celestia remained in Canterlot, returning to their duties, or getting in a nap in the case of the ruler of the night.
Cadance tried to be supportive of the sad pony she was seated beside, offering up a warm wing and an equally warm presence, but Sam never forgot he was being offered hugs by an alien, and couldn't really enjoy these equine affections. "No offense, uh, ma'am, er, majesty? Perhaps you'd be better off with your husband there."
Cadance took the hint and spent the remainder of the trip beside Shining, and the two were content in one another's presence. Twilight smiled at Sam. "Don't worry, we'll get things straightened out for you. You're not alone, just to emphasize, and we won't force you to do anything."
Sam quirked a smile. They were being so helpful... thoughtful... Why? "What do you need me for anymore anyway?"
Twilight tilted her head. "We don't need you for anything, Sam, but you obviously need us, or somepony. You look so... alone." She wobbled a hoof as the said the last word.
Sam frowned a bit, anger flaring, just to die and escape him with a resigned sigh. "Yeah..."
Twilight suddenly smiled. "Oh, Lyra will be there too, if you'd like to talk to her? She's your friend, right?"
Sam considered over that, mulling the thought in his mind. Was Lyra really his friend? "I'll talk to her..." He wasn't sure, but a conversation wouldn't hurt him, and might dispel the mystery.
When they arrived in Ponyville, Sam disembarked and headed for the once-human house with Cadance and Shining trailing along behind him quietly. He frowned back at them. "I don't need company to get through Ponyville."
Shining smiled hesitantly. "We'd like to meet the, uh, mare you're interested in."
Sam huffed and stormed ahead, knocking on the door lightly.
Sunny opened the door and her expression turned from casual to brilliant smile immediately. "Sam! I thought you were gone forever!" She jumped out at him, knocking him to the ground in a tight embrace. "Welcome back!"
Cadance smiled gently, watching the exchange. "You certainly seem to have a friend here."
Sam wriggled out of her grip and sat up. "Sunny, I've told you not to do that. I don't like tackles as a way of greeting, god."
Sunny shrugged. "Pegasus instinct. That's my excuse and nothing's changing it. What's up, Sam?"
Sam pointed past her into the house. "Is Lucy in?"
Sunny turned for the door. "Hey, Lucy! Sam wants you!"
Sam turned dark at her choice of words before he shook himself out, trying to look composed. The small crystalline form of Lucy appeared and Sunny retreated into the house.
Cadance approached curiously. "Well look at this adorable pony."
Lucy perked an ear at Cadance and looked across from here to Shining and back. "Um, good day. A pleasure to meet you both?"
Shining Armor pointed at himself. "I'm Shining Armor, and this is my wife. You can call her Cadance. She's the princess of the Crystal Empire."
Lucy nodded slowly before it clicked. "Oh! Where they thought I was from, at first." She frowned at Cadance. "I hope you're not here to try and remove me from Ponyville. I'm not done here."
Cadance held up her hooves placatingly. "Perish the thought. Your friend came to say hello to you."
Lucy looked away from Cadance to Sam and smiled at him. "I thought you'd rush back to the portal once you were done. Wanted to say bye?"
Lucy shook her head. "Sam, you're twice as large as I am, to start."
Sam huffed softly. "That'll change. I'm not asking for sex, damn it. I want a girlfriend that knows what I'm talking about. I want a human... Is that wrong?"
Lucy gave a sad little smile. "No... That's not wrong, but I don't love you, Sam. I like you a bit, but to be honest, you've been kind of a jerk." She held up a hoof. "Now don't get me wrong. I know you're going through a lot. I know that... I'm willing to give you a chance to be a friend, and to knock that chip off your shoulder, but... really, there's no way I can offer what you're asking for right now."
Shining looked between the two and leaned in close to Cadance, whispering, "She seems to have this under control."
Sam deflated at the denial, as gentle as it was in comparison to how it could have been. In his mind, Lucy was the only woman he knew, and she didn't want him. Then it struck him and he frowned at himself. "Yeah... You're... you're right, Lucy. I've... I'll get better. You don't deserve to have some desperate slob crying all over you."
Lucy shook her head. "On the contrary, if you need to get out a cry, we're always here, Sam, all of us. Crying doesn't make you a jerk. Being a jerk makes you a jerk, and I think you know the difference." She stood up and turned to head inside. "Let us know if you're moving back in. You'll probably want to visit Lyra first."
When she was gone, Sam looked to Cadance and Shining with a heavy heart, but mind whirring with possibilities. He tried to voice a few, but nothing came out.
Cadance wrapped him in her magic and lifted him up, pulling him over between herself and Shining, where a group hug quietly occurred. "Your little friend is very wise. You have my fondest wishes that you find happiness. If you need to get a message to me, ask Twilight."
Author's Note
Sam is shot down, now what will he do?
Twilight is giving me a deadly look for all my typos. May she have mercy on me.
39 - It's OK to Be a Religious Pony
"She's down this hall, ma'am." The doctor gestured, levitating his clipboard with a sigh. "Room 213, minor burn wounds... well, they would be if she'd let us treat her. I'm not sure if she's part of your group, but she mentioned things about 'god's earth' and claimed she'd been cursed into being a pony..."
He rubbed his forehead. "Unfortunately, we can't legally help her injuries until she signs a waiver, which she refuses to do. I don't know if you'll be able to get through to her, but I'm at my wit's end. Remember, no casting--she freaks out at that."
Lyra's expression fell a bit, filled with concern and worry. "This sounds more serious than most of the others, but I'll try my best. Uh, I hate… to ask this, but is she safe? She sounds very agitated."
The doctor frowned. “Safe for others? I’m not sure, but she hasn’t intentionally attempted to hurt anypony. Safe for herself...?” He shook his head. “Definitely not.”
Lyra nodded and took a slow breath. "Alright. Let's try to help her. She definitely needs a friend right about now." She flashed a bright smile, a little false and quickly falling to a more naturally friendly but not giddy expression. Trotting down the hallway, the unicorn reminded herself to not reach for things with her horn despite the natural inclination to do so. On reaching the right door she softly rapped on the door before attempting to open it. "Hello there?"
The voice that came through the door was clearly and very forcibly restraining itself from panic. “Not another one--Look, I’m going to be very clear, I’m not going to allow any of you so called specialists to hex me!” There was an odd bang and a groan. “Just let me out of this--this... place and I’ll be fine!”
Lyra opened her mouth to object to being called a specialist, or someone that would lay hexes, but came up short. She was a specialist in a few fields, and could turn somepony into a frog for a while if she really really wanted to. Yep… "Uh, hello. I'm not here to hex you, promise. I just want to get to know you, as a po--person. I hear you're having a very tough time right now and just want to hear about it." She gently pushed into the room, looking around curiously.
The mare on the hospital bed might have been beautiful, if her face wasn’t contorted in terror and her flanks weren’t covered in the twisted flesh of burn scars just visible from under the very tussled bedsheet. “You just want to hear about it? What are you, some sort of--of tabloid reporter?” She quickly adjusted the blanket to cover most of her green body, her blue eyes darting about warily.
Lyra approached with a hopefully encouraging expression. "Nothing you tell me leaves this room unless you want it to, promise. I'm not here to get a 'big scoop' or anything, just for you. What's your name? I'm Lyra Heartstrings." She pointed at herself, then sat beside the bed, looking over the green pony curiously and taking note of the subtle difference from her own coat.
The mare did seem to calm down slightly at her introduction, but it was clear from the way she absently tugged at her brown mane that she was still incredibly wary. “...If you’re going to try to get me to join your cult, I’m afraid I’ll have to turn you down. I have enough to worry about without, well... I’m sure you’re a very nice person, miss Heartstrings, but the answer is no.”
Lyra nodded softly. "Well alright, but I'm not sure what cult we're not joining, but it sounds icky. I don't generally 'do' cults if I can avoid it." She rolled a hoof slowly. "What do you like to do? I don't think I ever caught your name, miss…?"
“...Worthington.” The pony took a deep breath. “Amanda Worthington... I’m terribly sorry for the presumption, but you do have one of those cult marks on you. I shouldn’t be so quick to judge, not all past mistakes can be erased...”
Lyra looked herself over for marks before she quickly realized she was being daft and settled on her cutie mark. "You mean this?" She pointed at the golden lyre adorning her flank. "That's a cutie mark, not a cult mark. Do you know what a cutie mark is?" Not that she expected the most-likely once-human to know, but she hoped to build rapport.
“The... well, the people who found me informed me those marks were magical.” Amanda spat out the word in disgust. “I don’t know why they allowed themselves to be imprinted with such perverse mockeries, but I for one don’t believe in attempting to alter the grand design of the world. Even if...”
She trailed off, looking at her own hooves quietly.
Lyra followed her eyes to the end of the mare's legs. She decided to be bold. "Missing your fingers?"
The mare’s eyes snapped up. A moment later, the hooves here pushed against the mattress, clearly ready to shove her out of the bed in an instant. “How did you know--?!”
Lyra spoke slowly and carefully, lest she further alarm her patient/friend, "You're not the first once-human that I've had to give a hoof to. Some are happy, some are very sad, but you seem angry at yourself, and I want to help. I can't get your fingers back… but maybe we can figure out what to do with what we have?"
Very slowly, the tension began to leave the mare’s body. “So... you know who’s responsible for all of this, I suppose?”
"It's not a who." Lyra made a vague and wide gesture. "Just like that mark, the universe as a whole does things, like saying 'Hey Lyra, you really should get into playing a mini-harp, that'll be fun', and 'Hey Amanda, surprise, no fingers'. The universe has a sick sense of humor at times."
Amanda narrowed her eyes. “So you’re a cynic, then.” She let out a slow sigh, relaxing back into the bed. “Well, at least I know you’re not associated with whatever brought me here, if you’re so... dismissive. I take it that you chose that mark of yours after you started your... mini-harp lessons?”
Lyra tilted her head. "I'm afraid I don't entirely follow, but no, definitely not part of the reason you're here. I found the instrument on my own, as a wee little filly. It felt right, and bam, there it was." She pointed down at the flank. "I played it for years, even in a philharmonic. I didn't bring it with me today though."
The mare frowned. “So... one moment you were an innocent child, and the next you were cursed with that magical mark for all eternity?”
Lyra shook her head a little. "That's a little… extreme don't you think? Ok, see, I called it 'the universe' before, but most ponies call it 'Harmony'. It keeps things moving nice and smoothly. I mean, I've stopped playing the lyre professionally, but it's still part of my life, a good part. I don't regret being directed at it."
“Wait.... you think that your magic mark just happened naturally?” Amanda frowned. “That God himself simply descended from on high and said, ‘Here, have an image on your body that will forever alter your destiny, thanks a bundle’ and then just left you with nothing else?”
Lyra tapped her chin. "Well, he, er, she, whatever, didn't come down and point in my face. The mark was enough for that. It's up to us to figure it out. Sometimes the symbols aren't so obvious." She smiled at Amanda. "For instance, I like to think I help soothe people one-on-one by talking with them, just like the lyre does, and help even out sour notes in ourselves."
“I.... see. And... every one of you, ah, horsefolk simply gains these guiding signs... as a matter of course?”
"Most of us," agreed Lyra easily. "Once we find something that comes close to what we're good at, the mark just makes it a little more clear. There are a few exceptions, but hey, in what world don't po--people get lost sometimes?"
Amanda was silent for a moment. Her eyes shut as she tapped a hoof against the bed, ears flicking on occasion. “...A whole culture with such... Tell me, miss Heartstrings, when you think of... ugh, magic, what exactly does it mean?”
Internally, alarm bells rang, and Lyra made a dismissive gesture with a hoof. "That can mean a lot of things. There's the magic of harmony, for instance, that nopony really has a say in, then there's a unicorn's magic, which, while natural, is controlled by the pony and can be used for good or bad. What do you think, Amanda?"
“I think... that you’re using a word I recognize in a way I don’t, because your entire culture has that same usage. I suppose that you call the ‘magic of harmony’ is what I would call ‘miracles’.” She absently rubbed at her flank, letting out a sharp hiss of pain. “This magic of unicorns, though... what exactly is it?”
Lyra took a slow breath. "First, I want you to know that I want to be your friend, and I will never, ever, force you to do something you don't want to do. If I do something that bothers you, just tell me, and it stops, no ifs, ands, or buts. Alright?"
Amanda’s expression grew confused, but she gave a slow, hesitant nod.
Lyra reached up and gently poked her horn. "A pony with a horn is a unicorn. Our horn gives us certain magical abilities, most common of which are light, and levitation." She let her magic flow and her horn shone a bright cyan shade, showing off her power.
“Levitation? As in... you can fly?”
Lyra shook her head quickly. "Oh no, I never practiced levitation enough to carry myself around. I'll leave that to the pegasi." She looked around a moment, then pointed at Amanda's blanket. "May I borrow that?"
Amanda blushed for a moment, crossing her forehooves protectively over the sheet.
Lyra scratched that idea and a better idea came to her. She nuzzled open her pouch and out came a chocolate, held in her power. She floated it towards Amanda. "Would you like a treat? It's chocolate."
The mare frowned for a second. Then, very cautiously, she reached a hoof up to the hovering candy. When it brushed against the glow she pulled it back, but then she paused.
After a moment, she brought the hoof back up and under the chocolate treat. “Ah... thank you, I suppose. This... isn’t magical chocolate, is it?”
Lyra leaned forward a little. "Does being magically delicious count?" She released the chocolate, letting it settle fully in the hoof underneath it. "I'm joking. It was made by an earth pony, that is, a pony with no wings or horns, entirely without any magic besides growing crops, or in this case, making mighty fine chocolate."
Amanda was examining the brown object on her hoof as though it were a strange and possibly venomous new creature taking a nap. “Magically grown crops, you said... exactly what does it take for a pony to earn a horn?”
"Earn? All the unicorns I know of were born with theirs, mine included." She reached up to tap at it lightly. "It got a bit bigger with the rest of me, but it was always there. What would a pony do to earn a leg?"
“Oh, I assumed...” The mare trailed off for a moment, bringing the candy closer to her snout and giving a wary sniff. “When you say earth pony magic, you don’t mean that they... imbue their foodstuffs with it, do you?”
Lyra tilted her head. "No more than a, uh, human imbues things they make with their hard work and dedication. Ponies work hard to do what they do, and that can show in the result, but I don't think that's 'magic' like you're thinking."
Very slowly, the tip of Amanda’s tongue reached out and lightly brushed the confectionary.
After a moment, she nodded. “This does taste... very good.”
Lyra's smile became quite wide. "Go on, eat it. It's perfectly safe."
An amused smirk flickered for a moment on Amanda’s face. “Wouldn’t the doctors object? I am still recovering from....”
She trailed off, her expression becoming melancholy.
Lyra perked an ear. "You haven't done anything that chocolate is going to hurt. You don't need stuffy rooms and overbearing doctors."
Amanda absently flinched as her hoof rubbed at her flank again. “I... don’t know about that. The doctors suggested they... knew a spell. For... burns.”
Lyra nodded. "They probably do, but , if you don't like spells, then they can't make you have it. They can't even make you stay here if you don't want to be here." She sat up then stood up on her hind-legs. "If you want, I can show you where some other once-humans hang out. You could make some new friends with people that know what you're… where you're coming from, you know?"
The mare didn’t look at her at first, absently putting the candy in her mouth and chewing.
“...do... cutie marks, you called them? Do they... grow back?”
Lyra blinked softly. "Uh, well, they're part of the fur there. So long as the fur grows back, the cutie mark comes back with it." She tilted her head a little. "Is it… that bad? I mean…" She struggled with a better way of phrasing it. "They'll happily treat you when you're ready, if you're ever ready."
Amanda swallowed. After a moment, she nodded. “I... suppose it wouldn’t hurt to meet other victims... and maybe do some research on what exactly these spells entail...”
She almost pulled the blanket off of herself, but paused at the last minute.
“Ah... you wouldn’t happen to have some sort of basic, um, gown in that bag of yours, would you?”
Lyra shook her head quickly. "Not something I carry on a day-to-day." She pointed up at her tophat. "All I have in terms of clothes, but let me go check with the ponies here. One moment, alright?"
“I guess I can wait. I mean, I can see you’re comfortable enough parading yourself about like that--” Amanda brought a hoof to her mouth. “Sorry. That was a rude assumption for me to make. If your society is so... free, I shouldn’t judge.”
Lyra snorted softly, but looked more amused than offended. "You'd do just fine in Canterlot, but I should warn, sometimes the ponies up there still don't wear pants, like a shirt or coat covers everything in their minds or something. Be right back." And off she went, quickly locating some coverings.
Author's Note
A collab chapter? Man, we don't do those! We do typos!
40 - It's OK to be an Anachronistic Pony
The next patient to be sent to Lyra came with a scrap of paper describing what other ponies had noticed. The patient spoke a bit peculiarly, with a bit of a Prench accent, and with especially formal but antiquated mannerisms. When she mentioned humans a few times, she was referred gently to Lyra's care.
Lyra nodded lightly to herself as she put the paper aside and smiled gently, ready to greet her new patient warmly. As confused as they may be, everypony, and human, deserved genuine empathy. She thought back to her training. Empathy, attention, and action, in that order. She would find out how her patient feels, make her feel welcome and loved, and then move to improve her situation. It had yet to fail her, even if Sam's condition was a sore test and a questionable victory. Hopefully it wouldn't be that bad. With a glance at the clock on the wall, she nodded to herself and sat back, knowing her patient would arrive any moment.
Amour Ardour was going to be late. Her mother had warned her against rushing in preparation for an outing, but even so, everything took twice as long without fingers. Any pegasus racing the clock would have flown over the rooftops and the market stalls, but Amour contented herself with a brisk trot, skirting patches of muddier ground to avoid dirtying the hem of her dress. She didn’t know how to fly, and even if she could, she was uncertain if it was a ladylike thing to do.
There was nopony to open the door for her. The pegasus stood awkwardly outside the house for a few seconds before remembering that hardly anypony had guards or servants at all in Equestria. She raised her hoof, and recoiled a little to see just how much soil she had picked up along the way. It was still difficult for her to think not of her forelegs as arms. Amour tapped on the door, the sound barely carrying to her ears.
Lyra's ears flickered. Did she hear something? Growing restless, she slipped from her chair and trotted to the door, rearing up to peek out through the wi--Oh! She spotted the pegasus standing there awkwardly and smiled. "Hi there!" She reached with her magic and pulled open the door for her guest. "I didn't hear you knocking, very sorry about that. Do come in."
The forward manner of the pony that greeted her told Amour that this was indeed the very same pony she had come to pay a visit. Her wings fluttered of their own accord, and the colour rose in her cheeks. She instinctively curtseyed, and winced as the hem of the dress once again brushed the ground. She was a mess already, worth a scolding from her mother.
“Madame,” Amour mumbled, catching herself before she broke out into French. English, they all spoke English, though they never called it that. English or Equestrian, it gave her a headache if she had to listen to it too much. “Er, thank you, Madam Heartstrings.”
Lyra closed the door once Amour entered, moving off towards a small tea set and pouring out a glass. "Do you have a preference? Let's get comfortable before we begin. I'm Lyra Heartstrings, though it sounds like somepony already introduced me to you." She had a bright smile on, hoping to relax her patient, though she couldn't help but notice all the little nervous cues. "I should say that everything you share and do here is between us. I'm not here to judge or accuse, just to help. I hope we can be friends."
“It is most kind of you to offer,” Amour answered, trying not to move her lips as she repeated back the unicorn’s words in her head. “It would be my pleasure to consider you a friend, madam, sadly my social circle has dwindled these past few years.”
Amour paused, her ears drooping. She seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, as if trying to recall something from long ago. She blinked, suddenly self-conscious again. “Ah, pardon! I er… yes. The physician mentioned your name, after I became distraught at the hospital. He said you could help me. You have a lot of experience with… humans.”
Lyra turned around, wielding two cups with tea. Floating in them were two mixing straws with bright candy-cane stripes. A sweet treat to be certain. "Well, let me say that, to start, I believe you. I believe everything you say about your past. We're not here to question that or correct it, only to look at the present, and how we can make you happier with it." She floated over one of the cups towards Amour gently. "Can you tell me more about you? Who were you before you came here?"
Amour considered the straw in her cup of tea. It afforded her some form of dignity, even if the mental image of two ladies sucking tea through straws made her stifle a giggle. She supposed she was lucky the ponies didn’t drink out of troughs instead.
“My real name is… or was Jeanne Alexandrine D’Harcourt. My family owned… oh, well, perhaps that is not important. If I answer one question, I simply raise three more, no? We were fortunate and blessed many times over.” Amour stopped to lean forward suck her straw as daintily as she could. Her wings flared and she suppressed a cough. Hot! She covered her mouth with one hoof, to muffle her spluttering. “Ahem! Er, it is a most pleasant brew.”
After Amour had coaxed her wings neatly back to nestle against the fabrics of her dress, she continued her story. Her mood turned sober, and her voice became halting and quiet. “There was discontent in our country, and discontent led to rebellion. I thought I could stay, for a time, that it would be safe enough for me. I wanted to believe the best of people -er, you would say, humans. I made a mistake, and that led to my execution.”
Lyra blinked, cutting in suddenly. "You were executed?!" She caught hold of herself mentally, coughing into a hoof. "I mean, sorry. You're not the first to… arrive so violently, but it never fails to rattle me a little." Internally, she decided that Amour was not from the same sub-world… little bubble… whatever they were called! She wasn't from the same one as the others. "Uh, changing the topic a little. I see you have some nice clothes for yourself." She smiled at Amour lightly. "Very nice really, but how are you feeling in your new body?" She rolled a hoof. "It's very common to feel disoriented, especially around the hooves." She held one hoof out, as if for Amour to examine it.
“Of course, one’s own demise is not a fit subject for teatime.” Amour said. “Forgive me. If it’s any consolation, I remember nothing of it.”
She swallowed and broke eye contact with Mme. Heartstrings. She wasn’t a very good liar. An awkward silence punctuated the conversation, broken by Amour tapping her front hooves together. She ignored Mme. Heartstrings’ extended hoof, as if too timid to even look at it.
Amour slowly spread her wings, and looked up at Lyra, her face full of disappointment. “When I first awoke here, I thought I was an angel. Yet my wings will not carry me. I am fortunate I did myself no more harm than scraped knees and wounded pride. I should be grateful to be given a second vessel to carry my soul, but… this body mocks me.”
Lyra set her tea aside after a slurp. "I'm sorry to pry, but what exactly is an angel?" She advanced on Amour, inspecting her for harms and defects. "As for carrying you, it's a matter of practice. They look like fine wings from here, and if you're interested, I'd be delighted to hook you up with one of the local pegasi and you'll be soaring through the sky gracefully in no time at all." She tapped her chin softly. "But only if you want. I think you'd enjoy it. There's only one pegasus I've ever met that hasn't enjoyed it."
The pegasus’s wings stiffened as Mme. Heartstrings made a study of her. An explanation of an angel might take more words than her grasp of English would permit. Chatter over tea was all very well and good, but Amour could already feel that headache coming where angels were concerned. The fact that Mme. Heartstrings had never heard of one bode ill for her theological musings on Equestria.
“An angel is… is…” Amour struggled. “Perfect, whereas I am flawed. In all things good and righteous, whereas I am weak and easily tempted by evil. I thought I would see them when I, er, passed on. Perhaps I shall see them yet, if you were to… hook me up?”
The mental image of a pegasus dangling her from a hook sprang unbidden to Amour’s mind, and she couldn’t help but giggle, breaking her stoic poise. “Hook me up! The very idea, madam! You must at least introduce me to your, er, pegasi friends first.”
Lyra gave a warm smile at the explanation. "Nopony's perfect, Amour. We all do the best we can, and that best includes you flying, with practice." She tapped at her chin. "Oh, I didn't mean romantically, uh. I expect you'll wander into that when you're ready. I just meant introductions and arrangements for flying lessons." Lyra sat on her haunches, tilting her head. "That makes me wonder though… Are you alright with the pony in the mirror?" Her horn glowed as she pulled out the full-sized mirror to wheel in front of Amour. "You seem to be alright with being a pony so far, but I'd rather hear it from your mouth. It's OK if you feel a little strange right now, be honest."
Amour became still again as she gazed at herself in the mirror. At first she was inclined to concentrate on different parts of her body. Her pointed ears, her snout in place of a human nose, her wings and her tail. Even her eyes were strange to her. Amour took a breath, and looked again. Her body was more than a collection of animal parts. That was her now, it was her soul in the form of a pony. She could still see the same fussy Jeanne.
“I invented the name Amour Ardour because I thought I had something to hide,” Amour said quietly. “I was mistaken. I am still who I was before, and it is plain for all to see, from the manner in which I conduct myself. I am proud of who I am. My old life may not have had a happy end, Madam Heartstrings, but it would be a great tragedy if I did not embrace my new one.”
Amour turned from the mirror to beam at Mme. Heartstrings. “I shall keep my pony name. It has a lyrical quality that fits me. Besides, who in her youth has not at least once imagined for herself a secret identity only her closest friends may know?”
Lyra's expression brightened as she gave a firm nod. "I couldn't have said that better myself, Amour, and that's a lovely name you picked for yourself." She glanced out the window. "While some… are a little more problematic, maybe this really was the way it was supposed to be for you?" She rolled a hoof, "Did I mention most ponies are pretty strong believers in destiny and harmony? Things happen for a reason, but sometimes they're not very obvious ones." She settled down, calming herself from the momentary delight at her patient coming around so well. "Tell me, what do you see yourself doing? As a profession that is. Not for bits, mind, just, what do you like doing?"
“My friends often remarked upon my talent for the piano,” Amour said. She held up her hooves and smiled weakly. “I am not sure how popular the instrument is in Equestria. Besides of which, I certainly have never played it as an occupation. I… er, wasn’t permitted to have a job by my station in the ancien reg-... my old society.”
Lyra pointed back at her own flank, where a lyre rested in plain view. "There's nothing wrong with a musical talent, and I can see it in your eyes 'How can I play a piano with these big ole' hooves!'." She tapped a hoof on the desk beside her. "Practice. They're a lot more agile than they look after you've gotten used to them. I've played with an earth pony that loved the cello, and her music is simply sublime. This is your chance to explore what… inspires you. Do what you like and what you feel good doing. The bits'll sort themselves out afterwards."
“I have never had a physician prescribe me with responsibility,” Amour mused, glancing at Lyra’s cutie mark. It had not taken her very long to comprehend the concept behind them. When one wakes with two extra limbs and a tail, magic adornments that proclaim one’s destiny are mere icing on the cake. “I am unaccustomed to it, but the road to discovering my place in this world begins with a single step, does it not?”
Lyra bobbed her head. "And you'll be happy to know it's not a race. You just got here anyway." She sat down in front of her new friend/client. "Awkward question time, maybe, but what do you miss, you know, from where you came from?" She's had a few well-adjusted souls in almost a row, and Lyra wondered if they were just hiding the little things that bothered them.
Amour hesitated. She leaned forward to sip at her tea through the straw, her gaze growing distant. The question perturbed her, and her answer came reluctantly. “I longed for past times well before my arrival in Equestria, madam. The country I left was beset by war, terror, and injustice. What use is pining for my old world, when it was being engulfed by flames?”
She looked up at the green unicorn, finding some comfort in her open, understanding eyes. Amour gave her a small smile back. “I think I shall miss the music most of all. I can play, but transcribing the works of Monsieur Mozart from memory is beyond me. I can barely use a quill as it is!”
Lyra seemed to consider. "Wednesday, you, me, my marefriend, and a trip to Canterlot. We'll go visit the philharmonic there and their library. It won't be the same music, but good music goes beyond little things like species and worlds." The words may sound sappy, even to her, but she seemed to believe them. "For now, take this." She produced a small scrap of paper and scribbled quickly on it. "Look for a bright blue pegasus and hand her this note. She'll fetch somepony who'll show you how to spread those wings of yours and soar like… the angel you are." She still wasn't entirely sure what an angel was, but it sounded like a good thing. Lyra was best at compliments.
Author's Note
More collabs? Yes please. Lyra meets more lost souls and tries to be friends without making too many cultural typos.
Lyra returned home with a smile. It had been a hard day's work, but well-spent, she thought. "Hey, Bonnie! I'm home!" She set her things off to the side and trotted eagerly to find her marefriend. "How are things?" But there was no answer, just a note laying on Bon Bon's bed.
She approached the note curiously, plucking it up with her magic and looking it over.
My sweet harp,
I know you've been working hard lately, and I wanted to be here today of all days, but my past's caught up with me. Believe me when I say I'd be at your side if it was even a remote option, but when Celestia's Secret Service calls, you have to answer. Please forgive me.
For Princess and Country,
Lyra sank to her haunches and let the letter flutter to the ground. She felt anger swell up in her, at Bon Bon, then the princess, then the world entire. She mashed a hoof against the ground. "Why today?! I had everything planned! I..." She sank to the floor, sniffling. "Please be safe..." That wasn't the way she planned to spend their anniversary night.
There was a soft tapping at the door and Lyra perked an ear at it before gathering herself up. She approached the door with a bit of a frown. "Who is it?!"
Whoever it was heard the irritation in her voice, and a male voice spoke cautiously. "Oh, uh... if it's a bad time..."
Lyra recognized the voice and sighed gently. "No, come in..."
Shattered Stone opened the door with a cautious smile. "Hello Ly-- Oh what's wrong?"
Lyra rubbed at her face with a fetlock, trying to scrub away the tears. "I'm fine, really. What brings you by this way?"
Shattered ruffled his wings as he stepped inside and nudged the door shut behind himself. "I... was going to invite you two to a little show tonight? Is Bon Bon available?"
Lyra trembled, a few fresh tears escaping her despite her best of efforts. "N-no, she's not here right now. Maybe later... What show?"
Shattered pointed with a wing upwards. "There's going to be a huge meteor shower and I thought it'd be nice to share it with friends, and no, uh, pony, has been as much a friend to me as you have, and you can't invite a friend without their lover. That's just rude, right?"
Lyra blushed a little. "Right... But she's not... here right now. Work called her away."
Shattered looked confused. "How does candy making call you away, Lyra?"
Lyra snorted softly, shuffling in place and trying to think of better reasons. "She's, uh, cooking competitively, yeah."
Shattered stepped up to Lyra, making her shrink a bit before he grabbed her and pulled her tight. "You don't have to lie to me, Lyra. Ponies are pretty bad at lying."
Lyra wanted to refute it, or to shove Shattered away, but instead she melted into that warm embrace and let her tears loose into his fur. He was a perfect gentlecolt, just holding and patting her without trying anything untowards. When the tears slowed, Lyra gently squirmed away and sat down. "I'm sorry for lying, but it's... kind of a secret. I can't say where she is. I don't even... really know. She got called away, and it is business, I swear."
Shattered nodded. "I believe you. So, want to go?"
Lyra blinked at him, then considered what else she'd do that evening. "I... think I'll take you up on that offer. Is your marefriend going to be there?"
Shattered smiled. "She's setting out a nice little picnic for us to watch it by. Want a ride?" He turned away from her and lowered, offering his back.
Lyra snorted softly as she approached him. "That's awful forward of you."
Shattered went stiff. "I-it is? I thought it was just a nice thing to do, since I can fly fast and all."
Lyra chuckled with obvious amusement. "Have you given rides to anyone but your marefriend?"
"N-no, but that's just because, oh wait, I gave Darrell a few rides before? Is that bad?"
Lyra poked Shattered in the side. "You just told anypony that saw you that you two are very close. Maybe just very good friends, or maybe something more."
Shattered went dark, shuffling in place. "We could walk instead?"
Lyra pulled a chocolate from her bag on the floor and floated it to Shattered's snout, where it vanished quickly. "Relax. You made a few ponies giggle, that's about the worst of it. Let's walk, together." His discomfort somehow made her feel a bit better, and she left the building with him, locking it shut behind herself and setting off at a trot to see the spectacle in the sky. Far better than pining alone in the dark.
Shattered spoke quietly to his marefriend when they arrived. Lyra suspected he was talking about her, and it was proven true when both went out of their way to make her comfortable and welcome. Lyra briefly considered fighting it, but it felt nice to be doted on, and she instead put her effort into being a courteous guest and appreciative friend. Ultimately they crashed on either side of her, and she was surrounded by warmth as the sky became a dazzling show of streaking lights and the night was alive with good ponies and better friends.
She'd have her perfect anniversary date whenever her sweet Bon Bon came home.
Author's Note
Putting the slice into slice of life. Shattered Stone's stuttering may have caused a few typos.
Lyra sat in her chair comfortably, sipping from her tea lightly. "I'm very glad you rejoined us. I mean, you didn't have to, and I know that, but I want to help you, as a friend."
Sam shrugged softly. "Yeah, yeah... so... You heard what happened?"
Lyra smiled at Sam. "Only that the bubbles, or worlds, or what not are more stable now, but I'd like to hear from your own mouth. You've looked... troubled. You can tell me anything. I'm not here to judge."
Sam grabbed a candy from a bowl nearby and stuffed it in his snout. "I saw my girl, locking lips with another guy, in my house."
Lyra cringed in sympathy. "Oh no..." she slipped from her chair and approached Sam quickly. Before Sam could ward her away, she hugged him tightly. "Nopony should have to face that!"
Sam grunted, becoming irritated and squirming. "You don't know what it's like. You and your girl have been a solid item since, what, forever?"
Lyra sat down in front of Sam, nodding. "Well, yes, we've been an item for a while, but not forever. I've been involved with other ponies, and it didn't always end as cleanly as I'd have liked." She smiled gently. "How about I tell you about it? Misery loves company, right?" She returned to her chair, plopping into it in her human-like way and reaching for her cup.
Sam shook his head. "Uh, thanks, but naw. I'll take your word for it. But... you can't even imagine. It was like seeing everything I ever loved, held right in front of me, and knowing I couldn't ever have it back. Even if I wasn't dead there, I'd march through and up to that house that wasn't... wasn't mine anymore. I'd be the intruder, the bad guy. She'd... probably yell at me for running off on her, if she even believed it was really me and not some creep, then they'd call the cops." He sank into his own couch, burying his face under his forelegs, going quiet.
Lyra moved up to him and took him in a second embrace, squeezing gently. "It's alright to be sad about something like that. Go ahead."
Sam thumped the couch. "You think I'm not?!" he barked, sitting up. "Of course I'm sad, and angry, and... pissed off as all hell! I was so close, like running straight into a window an inch before I got where I wanted. So here I am, a horse, or I could live in the world where people look like people, but act like horses."
Lyra nodded slowly. "And you didn't go back through the portal why? Not that I mind you being here." She smiled. "But I was told you were getting along, so why did you come back?"
Sam sank back onto the couch and mumbled something.
Lyra reached out, softly rubbing his side with a hoof. "What was that? Go on."
Sam grunted, gritting his teeth. "I was lonely... I missed your stupid face."
Lyra giggled softly. "I can understand that. My stupid face cheers a lot of ponies up. What about the others?"
Sam rolled onto his back. "I... thought I could have Lucy, but she doesn't--"
Lyra held up a hoof. "Woah, hold up there. I meant what I said about not judging, so I'll just ask. How was that supposed to work?"
Sam flushed through his fur. "I just... I wanted someone to hold and love, not... that. I could wait until she got bigger."
Lyra shook her head. "Physically, she's too young, mentally, she might be too old. Your only link is that you're both once-humans, and I would bet a lifetime supply of chocolates that'll get you into her friendship circle, but I don't think she's looking for a mate right now." She leaned in. "But I understand. You're lonely. You shouldn't hunt down mares in that state. You're too... too desperate, you know? Make some friends, and get comfortable, then you can reach out for a heart."
Sam bopped Lyra on the nose. "You sure do sound judgy today."
Lyra rubbed her snout lightly. "It's the truth, Sam. You have a lot of folks ready to be your friend, me included, but not just me."
Sam huffed. "Like who?" He sat up to his haunches.
Lyra counted on her hooves, which mostly involved clopping them together as she went. "Well I bet Steven, Lucy, Sunny, Darrell, Shattered, or any of the other once-humans would be delighted to be your friend if you'll give them a chance to be that."
Sam squirmed in place. "Didn't you just warn me to stay away from Lucy?"
Lyra inclined an ear at Sam. "For love, that kind of love. I trust her to decide who she wants to be friends with, and I think you could be a fine friend once you let yourself be." She spread her hooves wide. "I'll be the first, if you'll have me."
Sam slipped from the couch and looked at Lyra with obvious hesitation before he advanced on her and stood uncomfortably close, but didn't hug her. Lyra took the initiative and carefully wrapped her forelegs around his neck, and they remained like that in the unreturned hug. "Thank you," she said, "for trusting me."
Sam gave a little snort and pulled from her, but he looked just a little less down than he had before. "Yeah yeah... Do you think Thomas has space at his place?"
Lyra lifted her hooves in a shrug. "I couldn't say that, go ask him. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."
"Yeah... I guess I'll do that. Thanks." Sam moved to depart quietly
Author's Note
Welcome back, Sam. We missed you and the typos you brought.
Darrell squirmed on the couch, looking quite uncomfortable as she glanced around.
Lyra smiled gently. "Good morning, Darrell. You're looking a little... agitated today. Do you want to talk about it?"
Darrell rubbed her forehooves together slowly. "Well... it's kind of embarrassing."
Lyra made a gesture around the room. "This is a safe place. I'm not here to judge or laugh. Tell me about it."
Darrell squirmed a little. "Well what would you do if you were a, uh, stallion, and you couldn't turn back, and you found a mare you really liked. Would it be normal to... be a stallion with them?"
Lyra tilted her head. "Well, if you can't go back, then that's what you are. What would be wrong with moving forward? If you're really not... sure, you could tell them the truth, so they're making the decision alongside you."
Darrell slipped to the floor and sat up, leaning her back against the couch. "I did that. I did exactly that. Steven... became my boyfriend."
Lyra didn't expect that, though on reflection, she had little reason to think it couldn't happen. "Does he make you happy?"
Darrell flushed brightly in her cheeks. "He's... nice and..." She sank against the couch behind her, looking increasingly agitated.
Lyra approached, dismounting from her chair and closing the distance. She nuzzled into Darrell's cheek. "You are not a bad pony for enjoying yourself. I want you to know that. We're not forgetting you were a stallion, but you're not right now."
Darrell smiled, but it was a shy gesture that lasted a preciously small time. "He doesn't... mind. He say I'm pretty, and he loves taking pictures. He takes me out to places and doesn't let me mope around."
Lyra suddenly had a thought. "Weren't you a stallion before? I mean I cast the spell on you and everything."
Darrell waved a hoof. "It fell off. I was going... to complain, but Steven told me I was fine the way I was..."
Lyra sat up in place. "Well, do you agree?"
Darrell's tail swayed over the ground as she considered. "I... yes. At least with Steven. He makes it... not so bad?"
Lyra bobbed her head. "And that's fine. A good life partner will do that to you. Do you love him?" Darrell went tense and nervous. "Darrell, it's alright. There is nothing wrong with this. Hay, even if you were both stallions, love is love. You know my love is a mare, right?"
Darrell smiled. It was a genuine expression, but so full of obvious uncertainty. "Is it really alright? I... still feel like a man, but... when he..."
Lyra gently poked him on the shoulder. "The way I see it, you two just met in a curious circumstance. If he makes you feel this good, and you make him feel good, then stop worrying about 'should', because the answer seems to be a yes. I'm going to ask a very personal question. Have you two... been together?"
Darrell shrank. "Once..."
Lyra nodded lightly. "How was it? You don't need to go into the details, just... how did it feel?"
Darrell sat up straight. "I want to have a pony name."
Lyra tilted her head at the sudden topic shift. "You're welcome to have one. But you're avoiding me."
Darrell clopped his hooves together slowly. "Well... it was... fine... He was careful..."
Lyra perked an ear at him. "Just fine then?"
Darrell grunted, looking angry a moment. "It was... fine..."
Lyra felt she wasn't going to get past that block right away, and set it down. "Before you rush off to decide on a new name, you should bring Steven in here, and we can all talk about it. It's no small decision to change your name, even if Shattered Stone made it look easy."
Darrell gathered herself up to her hooves. "I'll get him!" And she was gone in a streak.
Lyra had meant for next session, but it was too late to correct it.
The two soon returned. Steven was unabashedly supportive and snuggly. Darrell seemed to enjoy it, but be embarrassed by it.
Lyra decided to try her luck with Steven. "Steven, have you been with Darrel, er, physically?"
"Yes, of course." He bobbed his head twice. "Why?"
Lyra smiled. "Could you tell me about it? I don't need the blow-by-blow, just... how was it?"
Darrell went rigid and clumsily grabbed at Steven, shaking her head quickly.
Steven pet over her mane and back, making soft 'shh' noises. "Lyra's not going to get upset. You know she's gay too."
Lyra quirked an ear. That's a word she hadn't heard before. "Gay?"
Steven nodded. "We were together while she was a he. I was his first like that."
Lyra colored in her cheeks. "Oh! Oh... But you're still attracted to her ?"
Steven bit at one of Darrell's ears. "I'd prove it to her, but she hasn't let me since she turned back. Silly pony, I'm attracted to you , not an innie or an outtie."
Darrell squirmed in place. "You say that..."
Steven nodded. "I mean it. I want to be with you, forever if you'll take me. You're a wonderful person when you let go of these worries. The stallion I met while Lyra fixed you was an amazing person, and that person is still right there." He poked Darrel in the chest. "And I don't care if it's a he or a she. Just accept me, and yourself."
Darrell looked down a moment before she stood up. "Lyra, Steven, uh, thank you. I need to think about this." She turned for the door, but stopped. "Steven, come on. You're part of this." Steven was quick to hop to his hooves, and the two walked off together.
It wasn't settled, but Lyra felt quite positive about it. Darrell calling to Steven was a big step in Lyra's mind, and she had little fear that they wouldn't discover the spark that drew them together to start.
Author's Note
Darrell gets a bit closer to a happy balance with her new state of being, but she isn't quite ready to accept life for all its typos. Really, M and F aren't even close on the keyboard. Reality is a lousy typist.
44 - Bark Worse than Bite
Lyra gave a friendly smile to her newest would-be friend. This was her most curious patient yet, not being a pony, or even pony shaped like the changeling. No, this one was a diamond dog. "Hello there. I'm Lyra Heartstrings. Nice to meet you. What's your name?"
"Spot," replied the dog, looking around curiously.
Lyra tilted her head at the inhuman sounding name. "Oh, tell me a bit about yourself, Spot. This is a safe place. I want to be your friend."
Spot smiled toothily. "Oh, uh. Spot is a little confused. Came here from far away and got lost. Was told you could help?"
Lyra shook her head a little. "I'll certainly try, but tell me about where you came from, Spot?"
Spot bobbed his head before starting to describe. "Lived in big tall place with shiny windows. Had job doing the click-clacks." He moved his paws in a vaguely typing fashion.
Lyra only felt more confused. The basic concept seemed right, but the dog wasn't saying it right at all. "How did you end up coming here?"
"I walked," said Spot with a grin.
Lyra frowned. "Spot... Why are you here?"
Spot shrank back a little. "You said this is safe place."
Lyra took a slow breath, then her smile returned. "It is. If you want to talk to me, you may, but I need the truth, Spot. Were you always a diamond dog?"
"Uh... no?" His eyes darted around with all the guile of a lost puppy.
Lyra slipped from her chair. "If you don't want to tell me the truth, Spot, then we can't talk. Look me in the eyes and tell me where you came from."
Spot tried to meet Lyra's gaze but kept slipping off. After trying several more times he sagged in place. "OK OK! Spot is from not-far. He heard you were nice pony and wanted to have good-talk."
Lyra reached out a hoof, patting him on the knee. "That's better. Now why didn't you say that in the first place?"
Spot shook his head quickly. "You are pony! You like strange people from nowhere, no-like diamond dogs."
Lyra pulled a chocolate out with her magic and offered it to Spot. "I prefer it when my friends are honest with me. Now that we're in the open, do you still want to be friends?"
Spot snatched the chocolate out of the air and sniffed it before it vanished into his mouth. "Yes."
Lyra chuckled a little at his brevity. "Well then good." Sure it was the first diamond dog she ever helped, but she saw little harm in it. "So tell me about you, the real you, not the fake one."
Spot squirmed in the chair. "Well OK, we start with not-good. We pony-napped loud-pony once before, the one with the white and purple fur. She made us let her go and took all our gems. Crushing defeat, but it made Spot think long and hard. How do ponies do so well in pretty little houses? What is point of gems if diamond dogs don't use them for anything? Why?"
Lyra was surprised at the depth of thought being presented to her. "That's a very worthy thing to consider, Spot. Did you try talking about this with other diamond dogs?"
Spot waved a large paw. "Bah! They say Spot is stupid for asking those questions. What about you, you think Spot is stupid?"
Lyra held up her hooves placatingly. "No way. That's a great question, but I'm not going to answer it, because I can't. I'm not a diamond dog. I will say this, if your friends really don't want to hear it, they can't stop you from asking it anyway, and coming to your own conclusion. You don't have to live their way, and you can't force them to live your way."
Spot threw up his paws in obvious annoyance. "Then what is Spot supposed to do? Where does Spot live if not with other diamond dogs?"
Lyra pointed out the window. "If you're trying to be a good sport, we ponies won't turn you away. You'd be the first one in town, sure, but that makes you a hero, Spot."
"A hero? How?" His eyes were wide with wonder and confusion.
Lyra smiled brightly. "You'd prove that diamond dogs and ponies can get along just fine. Maybe more diamond dogs would come if they saw you doing it. Maybe more ponies would visit the dogs. You'd be a pioneer, Spot."
Spot was looking more excited about the idea, but suddenly he frowned. "But what about ponies? You are nice-pony, but there are not nice-ponies. What if loud-pony starts making the loud noises and wants Spot to leave?"
Lyra frowned in return, thinking of... "Just to make sure, we're talking about Rarity, yes?"
"Yes, that is name of loud-pony!" He paused a moment. "You are not friends with loud-pony, are you?"
Lyra shrugged softly. "We get along well enough. She made this hat for me." Lyra pointed up at it. "Best three bits I've ever paid. Beside that, we don't talk much. If Rarity gives you trouble, you tell her to come talk to me. Ponies should not be bullying, and ordering you to go is just that, bullying."
Spot looked more hopeful. "Well, maybe Spot will try then, but can't promise this will work. Other dogs better see Spot. Don't want to live alone."
Lyra tilted her head. "You won't be alone. You'll make pony friends, right?"
Spot frowned. "Like who?"
Lyra pointed at herself. "You have one already."
It wasn't much, but it was a start. Ponyville soon had a new resident.
Author's Note
A one-shot that isn't a collab? Impossible! Say hello to Spot, you should know him. He was the short bulldoggy diamond dog.
The mayor was very kind in forgiving Spot's many typos in his application for residence.
Lyra awoke to a familiar but missed warmth. Sweetie Drops was hugging her. Her mane and tail looked frizzy and unkempt, but she didn't look like she was hurt besides being a mess.
Carefully, Lyra slipped out from under Bon Bon and kissed her cheek, chest filling with a delight at having her marefriend back at home. She wanted to ask her how everything was, and to grill her about her adventures, but that wasn't what Bon Bon needed right then. She stepped from the bedroom as quietly as she could, and got to making a breakfast fit for two.
While she worked, she considered her schedule for the day. Her only appointment was a checkup with Lucy, who was the least likely of her friends to begrudge her taking the day off. She nodded to herself, confirming her plans. Soon she was trotting back to the bedroom with a platter full of buttered toast, eggs, and orange juice ready to be devoured.
She set the platter down on the end table and reached for Bon Bon, softly shaking her. "Wake up, hon. You need to get some food in you."
Bon Bon made an unhappy noise before she slowly sat up and yawned widely, showing off her teeth in a fierce display that made Lyra giggle. "What's so funny?"
Lyra gestured at the platter. "Oh, nothing. But you don't move a muscle. I'm pampering you like you deserve today." With a glow of her horn, she soon had food lifting into the air. Bon Bon made a token show of resistance before she tasted the toast and eggs and began to devour it as quickly as Lyra offered it up. For a few minutes the two enjoyed breakfast together with no words between them.
Lyra offered a glass of orange juice, then took one herself and they washed the meal down, both satiated and content looking. "Now it's time for brushings!"
Bon Bon smiled even as she made a warding motion. "You don't have to do that."
Lyra leaned in and kissed Bon Bon on the nose. "Don't have to, but going to, my brave little defender of Equestria." Lyra waited for Bon Bon to lay down on her belly, then began working her mane with a comb, attacking the knots and tangles that had developed while she was away. Unicorn magic was a bit cheating when it came to grooming, and she was able to work at the distressed mane without tugging at sensitive roots. "They don't give you a lot of time to yourself, I see."
Bon Bon let out a soft sigh of content, enjoying the attention and care of Lyra. "Not while you're fighting some crazy beast. I can't go into details, you know how it is, but it was crazy..."
Lyra tilted her head a bit. "Why not call the girls to help? I bet Princess Twilight and her friends could beat up any random monster into next week if you asked nicely."
Bon Bon gave a soft snort, looking as if she just tasted something unpleasant. "The girls only get mobilized when the attack happens in front of them, or Big C gives the direct say so. No say so, then it's up to ponies like me to take care of it."
Lyra felt confident that Bon Bon's mane was taken care of, lustrous and curly as it should be. She turned her attention to that tail, which looked even worse. "Mind if I wash this first?"
"Huh? Sure, go ahead." Bon Bon turned and watched as Lyra filled a bucket with her magic and pulled it in from the bathroom to rest beside the bed.
Lyra dipped the tail into the water and got to washing it thoroughly with magic and hooves. "You wouldn't believe what happened while you were gone." Bon Bon made a soft curious noise, and Lyra continued. "We have a diamond dog for a neighbor."
Bon Bon sat up sharply. "What?! How? They're dangerous!"
Lyra frowned at Bon Bon and gently bopped her on the nose. "Don't be mean. He's not a danger to anypony. He likes your chocolates."
Bon Bon blinked at that. "He does? Aren't dogs, like, allergic to chocolates or something?"
Lyra shrugged softly. "People spread the craziest rumors. He sure seems to approve of them."
Bon Bon shrugged a little. "I'm no doctor. I guess if a diamond dog wants to be a customer and follow the rules, I shouldn't be a spoilsport about it."
Lyra lifted the tail free of the water and got to combing and brushing the wet fur, working out the burs and tangles diligently. "You have such pretty fur, It's such a shame when it's not looking its best."
Bon Bon smiled at Lyra. "Good thing I have a certain unicorn to take care of that, eh?"
They shared a soft nuzzling before Lyra gestured at the tail. "Much better!" She drew out a new brush. "Now time for the rest of you." Lyra began to run the brush in a soft caress across Bon Bon. By the time she was done, Bon Bon had slipped gently back into slumber. Lyra smiled at her and quietly slipped from the room to go find Lucy.
Being a school day, it wasn't hard to locate her. She sat in the front row as Cheerilee gave a lecture on something. Lyra crept up to listen in at first. She was discussing basic elemental principles. Very important for young unicorns, less so for others, but a fascinating topic, at least if somepony asked Lyra. She waved at Cheerilee and waited for acknowledgement before slipping into the classroom.
Trying not to embarrass Lucy, she just spoke to Cheerilee quietly. "When you get a chance, just tell Lucy that she gets today off from me. I'll be back in my office tomorrow if she wants to reschedule, and I hope she has a great day."
Lyra was then off, rushing back home. She was delighted to have her Bonnie back.
Author's Note
Fun fact, chocolates are just as poisonous to horses as they are to dogs, and since ponies can gulp the stuff down, eh, why not diamond dogs?
Typos, that's why.
Lyra nodded at her patients. For once, they were outside of the small office, instead on a grassy clearing on a nice and sunny day. The schedule said it'd be clear all day long, and Lyra had arranged for the two to come meet her with a nice basket full of various snacks. She reached into the basket and pulled out little pies, putting one before either of them. "Glad you could make it. It's nice to spend some time with friends."
“I... suppose.” Amanda fidgeted in her simple dress, sometimes glancing at the pegasus next to her. “I mean... I don’t know if we qualify as friends, but... I mean, you are a good person, I guess? I’m sorry, I’m not saying this right, I’m still a little...” She shook her head.
Beside Amanda, Amour Ardour lay on her side, propping up her upper body with her forelegs. The lavender pegasus disliked squatting on her haunches to sit, it looked inexcusable to her in a public place. She had brought a chequered rug to save her dress from grass stains, and occasionally smoothed out a crumple in the fabric with a gentle nudge of her hoof. It was pointless fussing, keeping her mind off more troubling matters.
“I am delighted to meet you again so soon, madam Heartstrings,” Amour interjected smoothly, a warm smile masking her worries. “A perfect day for an outing, I must say, yet I am a stranger to our present company. If you would be so kind as to introduce us?”
Lyra nods at Amour before waving a hoof at Amanda. "Amanda, meet Amour Ardour. Amour, meet Amanda. I'd like to think you two could become friends, but no pressure, just a relaxing day." She produced a pitcher from the depths of the basket and set it aside before a few cups were placed beside it, ready to be filled with the drink of choice, whatever it is Lyra brought along.
“I... It’s a pleasure to meet you, miss Ardour.” Amanda held out a hoof in greeting. “I do apologize if I seem a little, well, nervous, I’m just... well, I’ve been through a lot recently and I’m still coming to terms with it...”
Lyra shook her head a little. "It's perfectly understandable. You've both been through a lot. That's exactly why today nothing will be too stressful." Dangerous words in the magical land of Equestria, which listens all too keenly to its residents for opportunities to prove them wrong.
“I sympathise, madam, I truly do,” Amour said, inclining her head. She was in the uncomfortable position of not knowing Amanda’s last name. She preferred to keep a distant, polite form of address, despite Mme. Heartstrings’ insistence that they were becoming fast friends. “I myself have taken up flight lessons, and I can imagine little more stressful.”
“I would have thought...” Amanda began, trailing off as she looked Amour’s dress over. “Oh. I... see. Ah....”
She glanced at her own simple gown for a moment.
“So... Amour Ardour? I’ll... admit I’m not as well studied in French as I could be, but doesn’t that mean ‘Lovely Love’?”
Amour tilted her head, trying to hide her vexation that the conversation had turned to language. It wasn’t so bad speaking so much English with the calm, understanding Mme. Heartstrings, but the pegasus flight instructor she had been referred to insisted on speaking at a mile a minute as the Englishmen used to say. “Ardour is not a common word for you in English, madam? I think a better translation is… passionate . But the name is just a name, yes?”
Amanda let her eyes trail along the green length of her leg. “‘That which we would call a rose...’ I don’t know. I mean, I remember hearing somewhere that names have histories, that they’re words from other languages that have shifted and grown to become... identities, but here--well, the most name-like name I’ve found here is Lyra. Everyone else seems to be a direct noun, an actual verb, maybe an adjective or two...” She sighed. “I suppose it makes it easier when you hear ‘Bulk Biceps’ and just know that he’s going to be a musclebound wall of meat, but it’s... also kind of less. Um, no offense,” she added quickly to both the other ponies.
Lyra gave a light-hearted snort at the conversation. "Neither of you are wrong. A lot of ponies are named fairly obviously. If you've ever been around Rainbow Dash a moment, she lives up to both sides of that title." She wobbled a hoof a little. "I'm not sure I'm a heartstrings, but I like to think I can have an effect. The effect for today is welcomed." She pulled out an actual nutritional part of the meal in the form of a large bowl of already-tossed salad, ready to go.
“Indeed, a moment is all I needed with her,” Amour replied. She realised that she had been leaving poor Mme. Heartstrings’ picnic untouched, partly thanks to her self-consciousness about eating without a full set of cutlery. However, refusing to eat at all would be the greater of the two evils. “Oh, forgive me for going on so. Did you prepare the salad yourself? It looks delectable, madam.”
Amanda nodded in agreement, starting to reach out. Then she stopped herself and frowned at her hoof. “I... hope you brought plates for all of us,” she half joked, pulling it back awkwardly. “I mean... ah...”
The conversation stalled for a moment, her ears falling back as she rubbed the back of her mane.
“...Is... I’m a little, um... This is kind of embarrassing to ask, but, do we just...?” She gestured from her muzzle downward in an arc.
Lyra nudged a plate forward before drawing several others with her magic, setting them neatly before herself and her guests. "Go ahead and eat. If you're worried about getting yourself messy, I brought napkins." She reached for a pie and lifted it up, taking a clean bite right out of it, somehow without splattering it all over her snout in the process.
Amanda frowned at her for the briefest of moments, but she quickly schooled her face into polite neutrality. “Ah, thank you.” She leaned down, delicately gripping the plate between her teeth, and began to slide it under the assemblage of leaves and vegetables that formed the salad. A small grunt escaped her lips as she tilted it up, letting the plant matter roll toward the center of the dish before she quickly retracted it and set it in front of herself.
Lyra subtly leaned to the side, trying to steal a peek and see if things were healing properly. Unfortunately, Amanda’s garb didn’t really permit much of her flank to be seen. "I'm so glad you were both able to make it today. For some reason you two reminded me of each other."
“In what manner, may I ask, apart from our cautious eating habits?” Amour asked, delicately raising her little pie with both hooves. She found the trick was to avoid scrunching up her face as if in deep concentration, and to take only the tiniest of ladylike bites so as not to knock the pie off-balance.
Summoned by the arcane ritual of saying it would be a peaceful and relaxing day, a soft rumble shook the ground, barely giving time enough to look around before something cleared the tree-line. Huge and towering, the dragon stormed ahead, though it wasn't looking at the ponies in its way, as if they were just in its path as a consequence of random chance.
“WHAT IN GOD’S NAME IS THAT THING?!” Amanda shrieked, scrambling up and trying to coordinate four legs into running out of the way as quickly as she could.
The pie slipped from Amour’s hooves, and by the time it landed upside-down on her rug, its owner had fainted clean away. The sight of what appeared to be an actual demon coming to drag her to some fiery pit was simply too much for her to take. The pegasus collapsed with a sigh.
Lyra's first instinct was to flee immediately, but seeing Amour collapse made her thoughts take a new track, slipping out of flight and into fight. She spun around, putting herself between her patient and the dragon, trembling even as she shouted, "Stop right there!"
Her little glowing horn was not much impediment or cause for delay for the lumbering purple dragon, who approached the two like a steamroller, unknowing and uncaring of the damage that may be caused. "I mean it, stop!"
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Amanda shouted, trying to spin around. Unfortunately she just kicked her hooves out from under her and ended up falling. “Unf! JUST PICK HER UP AND RUN!”
Pick her up and run, right. That's a good idea! Lyra turned her magic on Amour, barely getting her off the ground when she was flattened under a claw. To her credit, her horn did prod the dragon in its foot, and it recoiled with an 'Ow!', leaving a squished but intact Lyra behind.
“Ohgodohgodohgodshe’sdeadthey’redeadohgodohgod--”
Amanda’s eyes darted toward the scenic sight of Ponyville. She stood up, shaking nervously. “Okay. Okay, this is... probably going to be the most terrifying thing I’ve ever done.” It took most of her willpower to force her breath back to something resembling regularity. “‘Nay, though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil....’”
Clenching her eyes shut, she charged at the dragon’s ankle.
“‘...BECAUSE THE LORD MY GOD IS WITH ME!’”
Lyra did very little, her vision swam in a pained swirl as she tried to gather herself back together just in front of the dragon. The dragon looked down at what it had stepped on just to hear another pony performing a mighty war cry. He shifted his gaze to see a green mare clutching at his ankle and tearing at his scales with her teeth. A claw scratched at his head and he blinked in dull confusion; this was not how ponies usually acted.
Amanda, for her part, continued her desperate assault on the demonspawn.
“...Ma chandelle est morte, Je n’ai plus de feu. Ouvre-moi ta porte, Pour l’amour de Dieu… ”
Amour hummed the next verse, unwilling to open her eyes. She could feel the sun on her face. The memory of the picnic with her new friends was coming back to her. She could hear shouting, and wondered what all the commotion was about. Then, she remembered the demon.
“Lyra!” Amour screamed, her head jerking up and her eyes blinking furiously to adjust to the light. She felt something sticky on her cheek, and she realised she must have fainted onto the pie. She squinted, catching sight of something impossibly large moving before her. She had only ever been as terrified once before in her life, but this time she did not have the composure to keep her thoughts to herself. The choice phrase she uttered would have made her blush, if she didn’t know that she was the only one who understood it.
The dragon reached down with two claws, aiming to grab the pony with a pluck as anyone would grab a petal from a flower. "Cut that out. You're really cheesing me off!" He seemed more irritated than outright infuriated, likely to the pony's benefit. Lyra was still out for the count, wobbling a bit and making some noise, but quite unaware of what was actually going on around her.
Amanda saw the slow-moving claw and instantly recalled something from... far back in her youth. Some video game or other, she couldn’t recall what in the heat of the moment, but there was enough of an idea in her head. Just as it swooped at her, she leaned back and jumped, gripping at the scaly digit with all four of her hooves. “BEGONE, SPAWN OF SATAN! THE POWER OF GOD COMPELS YOU!” Her gaze fell downward, and she clutched at the claw tightly. “Oh God, what am I even thinking--stay focused, Amanda, the ponies need you...”
Amour got to her hooves. She had died once before, on her knees, and did not intend to experience that again so soon. She caught sight of poor Lyra, who had been so looking forward to a peaceful outing with her. She stumbled towards the green unicorn, and not knowing what else to do, stretched out her wing to brush against her friend’s shoulder. “Lyra? Lyra, can you hear me?”
Lyra's brain managed to reach the point where she could sling words in no particular order, and she swayed as she sang out, "I'm not ready for school today, I ran out of aardvarks for the tunafish!"
The dragon's full attention was on the pony now hanging from one of his fingers. This was certainly not what he had in mind. He frowned delicately then started to move on, carrying Amanda right along for the ride as he stomped with a loud grumbling as it moved past Ponyville, going along its periphery.
Amanda took a breath and carefully looked about, watching where the dragon’s gait swing the hand she was hanging on. Her eyes widened as she saw the spines on his back. “Okay. Okay, just... just have to think, this is--right. Alright, time it, time it, time it now OhGodOhGodOhGod--!”
The breath was knocked out of her as she landed on the massive beast’s back, and she scrabbled quickly to hook a hoof around one of the spines. “Oh God. Oh God. This is insane. I’m insane.” She let out a panicked giggle. “Amanda Worthington, demonslayer, who’d have thunk it...?!” Her eyes darted upward, and she began to climb.
“Amanda?” Amour hadn’t seen the nervous pony since she had woken. She thought Amanda had run off, and was close to doing so herself, if not for the sake of Lyra. However, the booming voice of the dragon turned her gaze upwards, and that is when she caught sight of her newest friend clambering over the demon’s spines. Amour stood motionless for a moment, her brain working to catch up with her. “Lyra? I don’t think Amanda will be joining us for tea…”
The dragon paused again, noticing its pony passenger suddenly vanished. Where did she go? He lifted one arm, then the other, peeking under them as if she had just gotten lost in an armpit or somewhere similar. With a soft quizzical grunt of a sound, he shrugged with confusion before proceeding along, looking just a little happier for being rid of the pony.
That was, right up until Amanda’s hoof pressed into the webbed flesh connecting one of his wings to his body. The dragon felt it, but had no idea what it was. Did something just land on him? He fluttered the wing with some agitation, hoping to dislodge whatever it was. Amanda, for her part, clung onto the nearby spine for dear life.
Lyra shook her head quickly, coming around. "What? Where? Are you alright?" Her vision focused on Amour and she let out a sigh of relief on seeing she appeared intact. "Where's Ama--" She didn't finish, spotting her other patient scaling a terrifying dragon and putting her hooves to her cheeks. "Dear Celestia! Amanda!" Not that her shouts had much chance of reaching across the distance.
“She has lost her mind, now pray let us do something before she loses her head!” Amour shrieked, before clapping a hoof over her mouth. She was on the verge of a fit of hysteria, she could feel it. Her wings spread out in panic.
“Stop with the wing, stop with the wing!” Amanda clutched at her anchor, tears of fright running down her cheeks. “Oh God, if you can hear me, please let this be one of those video game bosses with a brightly glowing weak spot...” She looked up. “Or at least unarmored eyes?” And with a terrified sob, she reached out again.
The dragon didn't pause that time. Nothing would stop him. Nothing! He broke into a sudden gallop, falling to all fours to close the distance all the faster, heedless of his passenger in favor reaching his destination, a little cottage on the outskirts of town.
Lyra looked around in a wild panic a moment before she pointed at Amour's wings. "Can you fly? Go get her off of there, quickly!"
“I… I…” Amour’s pupils shrank as she wildly looked about for any other pegasus that would qualify as a better candidate. “I-I’m not a flier! I can take off, b-but they still have to hold me steady to land… and… and…”
Amanda blinked, realizing the dragon’s back was now flat. “Huh....ha! Hahaha! IN THE NAME OF THE LORD, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” She hurtled across the spines, leapt down to the beast’s skull, and bucked him in the eye without a moment’s hesitation.
“Oh Marie, mère de Dieu , I’m coming, Amanda!” Amour took a galloping start, furiously flapping her wings. Her take-off was ungainly, and almost immediately she started to drift with the breeze. She could hear her whimpering in between panting breaths, and feel her wings started to seize up from her sudden exertions. She could barely focus her vision on the giant purple blob that loomed closer and closer.
The purple dragon screeched in indignant pain and a claw flew up over its face as it reared up and back in surprise. What hit it?! What madness occupies this part of Equestria?! His words were little more than inarticulate roars of utter fury and shock as it tossed its head back and forth wildly.
Amanda was flung from his face, flailing in midair for a few seconds before she managed to bite down on the dragon’s earfin. An involuntary whimper of terror escaped through her clenched teeth. Lyra went pale at the sight, before she looked back towards the town. She couldn't think of anypony she could reach in time to help, and she started charging towards the dragon boldly, not that she had any idea what she'd do when she got closer, but she was going to try… whatever that may turn out to be.
Amour had no plan, other than a vague determination to get Amanda, and herself, as far away from the demon as her wings would carry them. Unfortunately that would not prove to be far enough, especially with her dress weighing her down and restricting her wing-flapping. Praying to her God and her beloved mother for forgiveness, she hooked her hoof under the fabric and pulled with all her strength. The dress tore with a noise that made the poor pegasus wince. A few good kicks, and the gaudy cloth was sent fluttering away on the breeze.
Unburdened by the ungainly load, Amour turned her attention on her rapidly approaching target. She tried to visualise ahead like her flight instructor had said, but the demon’s head was thrashing about far too fiercely for a controlled landing. Amour flapped to gain an advantageous height. She would swoop down and get ahold of Amanda before the monster knew it--
One massive swing of the dragon’s head, and Amanda’s toothy grip broke. She arced through the air, her eyes clenched shut as she curled up. “OurFatherWhoArtInHeavenHallowedBeThyName,” she breathed out, “ThyKingdomComeThyWillBeDoneOnEarthAsItIsIn-- ”
Amour didn’t think in those few seconds. She folded her wings, gaze fixed on the pony tumbling through the air. She dropped down, forelegs outstretched. The path of Amanda’s flight curved down towards the ground. Amour matched her speed, and as neatly as catching a ball, scooped the pony into her embrace.
Amanda felt a jolt. Her eyes opened suddenly. “...Heh...Heaven?”
“Hah! How’s that! I caught-- erkk!” Amour’s breath caught as suddenly she realised she had a load to carry. She pumped her wings with all her strength, trying to keep them both airborne for a few seconds more. The treeline on the outskirts of town was fast approaching. Amour banked hard, and caught the reflection of sunlight in her eyes. “Oh, the stream. Parfait …”
Sploosh.
Lyra drew up to a slow stop as the situation changed. She hopped up and down in place, eyes set on Amour. It wasn't a gentle landing, but it was a landing, and they weren't eaten by a dragon. "Woohoo! You go mare!"
Somehow, despite all the activity beside it, Lyra's little cheer caught the attention of the dragon, who turned to face her, freezing her with fear. He glared at her as if daring her to say a single additional word, and they kept their eyes locked for an uncomfortably long moment before the dragon turned away with an angry snort. "The things I do… Last time I do a favor for that guy…"
Amanda’s head burst from the river with a gasp, the water matting her dress against her body as her mane dripped down her neck. “That... that was Amour.” Her eyes widened. “That was Amour! She’s alive!” She reached next to her and pulled the pegasus out of the water, hugging her tightly. “YOU’RE ALIVE!”
The water had shot up Amour’s nose on landing, and in shock she had let go of her last few precious breaths of air. She kicked uselessly, her wing muscles burning as she tried to flap sluggishly in the water. Not a moment too soon, she felt Amanda pull her from the water, and nearly crush her ribs in a tight embrace. The large portion of the river she had swallowed flowed out much the same way it had come in, giving Amour the appearance of a very lifelike water fountain. Bewildered, Amour sputtered and shook her head, clearing the matted wet locks of her cyan mane from her eyes.
“A-Amanda? We survived!” For the first time in a long while, Amour beamed with sincere delight. She began to laugh, feeling the thrill of her first solo flight catch up with her.
“I th-thought that monster had squashed you,” Amanda laughed while sobbing. “You and Lyra--Oh God. Lyra. Po--poor Lyra, she, she was just trying to help--”
“She is unharmed!” Amour explained quickly, lest Amanda think for a moment longer that they had lost their friend. “And, in faith, was in far less danger. I hope you shall not come to rely on me as your guardian angel, Amanda, I don’t think I could do that twice!”
Amanda sniffled. “I was just--that thing was headed toward Ponyville--” She leaned back suddenly, wild eyes staring into Amour’s. “Oh God, PONYVILLE! We’ve got to warn them!”
Lyra approached as if summoned, having escaped from the attention of the dragon. "Hey! Hey!" She waved a hoof frantically as she hobbled along on the other three quickly. "Is everypony alright? I'm so sorry ! This isn't how today was supposed to go at all."
“Lyra--! That demon, what happened?!” Amanda demanded in a panic. “We’ve got to get it away from the town!”
Lyra shook her head a little. "Dragon, not demon. That thing wasn't from Tartarus, just the mountains, er, not that it wasn't dangerous." She rubbed behind her head. "Aw sheesh, this… Sorry again, I really wanted a relaxing day." She flopped onto her haunches and looked over the two, checking for injuries. "You were… very brave though. I was very, mmm, proud, and scared."
“...D...Dragon.” Amanda raised a shaky hoof and pointed. “Th...that was a dragon.” She turned to Amour. “They have dragons.”
“I fail to see much distinction.” Amour trod up the riverbank, extending her soaked feathers to dry them in the sun. “Is it… dead? Did somepony slay it?”
“Amanda Worthington, dragonslayer...” The green mare giggled and wavered as she followed after her, but let out a small hiss once she was out of the river. “Ow...”
“Amanda! You’re injured?” Amour trotted back to her friend, ears pinned back. She had made the landing, and that meant Amanda getting hurt was her fault.
“It’s nothing. It’s just my burns, all that running must have opened them up again.” Amanda weakly tried to ward the pegasus off with a hoof, putting on what she thought was a reassuring smile. “The dragon is... gone, right Lyra?”
Lyra bobbed her head quickly. "He moved along as soon as… you scared it off with your heroics." Not exactly the truth, but close enough for Lyra. She flashed a bright smile. "You really shouldn't make a habit of that. Dragons are tough critters, and if you didn't catch it by surprise, it might have had you for lunch or something, uh, though most dragons prefer the taste of jewels over ponies." She frowned a little at Amanda. "Come on, let's get that looked at."
“You were very brave,” Amour concurred, giving Amanda a light nudge with an outstretched wing. “I know it’s not the introduction we expected, but I should be honoured if you consider us friends henceforth.”
“Oh, I’d like that. You and I, best of friends, no homo, not that you aren’t pretty, I just don’t swing that way, and we’re horses now...” Amanda smiled faintly. “You know what, I think I’m just going to shut up.”
Her eyes rolled up and she collapsed on the ground. Amour knelt down by her side, then looked up at Lyra.
“The poor dear needs rest, and it won’t do to nap in the mud. I carried her this far, Lyra. I must oblige you to take her hence.”
Lyra put her magic to work, gently lifting the unconscious pony up and turning back to town. "I'll make sure she's taken care of, promise. Thank you for being amazing today. Maybe we can try again, some other time? Maybe somewhere closer to Ponyville."
“That would be lovely,” Amour agreed with a smile. She rose to her hooves, and the two ponies began to walk back to town.
Author's Note
A Collab chapter with two collab characters! It took a little bit to set up but entirely worth it. Thanks for being awesome, but I'll still blame you both for all the typos.
47 - Did You Get My Tweet?
Lyra was peacefully taking notes at her desk when a soft knocking came from her door. "Come in!" She turned to face the guest as Darrell nudged his way inside.
"Hi Lyra. I had a question for you that I couldn't sit on. Is it OK to ask now?"
Lyra looked over his concerned face and nodded. "Of course. So long as I'm in my office, I'm ready to go." She turned completely to face him. "Now what's on your mind?"
Darrell nudged the door shut behind himself with a little kick before hopping up onto the sofa and settling. "I want to know, straight up, do you think I'm a bad pony for thinking of myself as a man?"
Lyra tilted her head a little. "Bad pony? Of course not. You're kind and gentle, and all-around good. You aren't a 'man' though, or a stallion, at least physically." She reached up and tapped her head. "Maybe up here, but that's not a crime last I checked."
Darrell squirmed a little. "I got the idea you really wanted me to put that aside, and accept being a mare."
Lyra lifted her shoulders. "I thought it would make you happier, but I'm not blind. You look pretty happy whenever you let yourself be. Steven seems to really make you happy. Are you happy with him?"
Darrell hung her head. "He does, but that just gets more confusing. I wasn't, you know, gay, before."
Lyra shook her head slowly. "You're over-thinking this. It's not about 'gay' or other titles, it's about what you like, and how you feel. If you're both enjoying this relationship, everypony else can just buck off. Not that I think most of the ponies in this town will say much other than smile. They're a nice bunch around here."
Darrell shuffled a little in place. "But, I don't know. We're not even all the way like that? I mean... he doesn't seem to care what parts I have or don't have, and if I let him..."
Lyra rolled a hoof. "He'll take you as a mare."
Darrell shuddered powerfully. "I don't know if I'm ready for that, but I think he really wants it."
Lyra pointed at Darrell. "I think he really wants you . Take charge, set the limits, and trust in him to obey them. If he can't, then he's not worth hanging around, and you let him go. On the other hoof, maybe he'll surprise you, and you'll really enjoy yourself, and him, and you're just missing out."
Darrell squirmed a moment, sinking to the couch entirely. "Am I being a coward for not trying it?"
Lyra stopped herself from blurting the instinctive response. She'd been around the block. One does not become a talented transmuter without trying a gender swap on oneself at least once somewhere along the way. Sure, Bon Bon said never again afterward, but Lyra had enjoyed the moment. She softly coughed into a hoof. "I will say that, at least with Steven, I trust that he would treat you with kindness and dignity, and would do everything in his power to make your time pleasant. If you want to give him that chance, I can't see him not doing his best, and if you don't like it, at least you'll know for sure, instead of wondering about it like you are right now."
Darrell nodded slowly before he sat up. "I've found a hobby."
Lyra smiled broadly. "Oh really? Please, do tell."
Darrell went quiet a moment before slipping to her hooves and approaching a window. She pushed it open and pointed out at something.
Lyra joined her and leaned out to see. She was pointing at a bird that was tweeting away musically. "You like to watch birds?"
Darrell nodded. "I've started a journal of them, and Steven takes pictures of the particularly rare ones I find. I'm not sure what it is, but I feel like they understand me a little. Watch." She leaned out the window and waved at the red robin. "Hey, come meet my friend!"
The bird flew up to Darrell and landed on her nose. It tilted its head at her, then hopped, turned mid-air to face Lyra and looked at her.
Lyra's expression brightened. "That's fantastic! It's like Fluttershy. Can you talk with any other animal?"
Darrell shook her head carefully, lest she disturbed the bird. "Just birds. He says hello."
Lyra waved a hoof lightly. "Hello there. Oh that's quite a gift!"
"Is it really?" Darrell trembled as her flank was suddenly adorned with a mark as she realized it was a special talent. "What happened?" She turned sharply to look at it, and the robin flew off.
Lyra pointed at the cutie mark of the same robin. "That is your cutie mark. Your special skill is talking to birds. That's a very earth-pony kind of talent. I'm so proud, and amazed. How do you feel?"
Darrell smiled a little. "Well that's... kind of cool, but how do you make a living talking to birds?"
Lyra tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Well you could help ponies with their pets. The princess has a phoenix, did you know that? I bet she'd pay a few bits for somepony to play translator and to make sure she was being properly cared for, and she's hardly the only one. I've seen Fluttershy organize them into songs, uh, they could deliver messages too, or you can keep birds away from things ponies don't want them around, like crops. There are tons of options."
Darrell started to look more encouraged. "Yeah, I could do that... In fact, I have another idea. I need to talk to Steven." She turned for the door and trotted up to it before looking over her shoulder at Lyra. "Thanks, Doc!"
Lyra smiled gently. "I'm not a doctor, just a friend, and I'm glad to be that. You go on and have a great day. My door's always open."
Darrell bobbed her head. "Well thank you for being a friend then. I have someon—pony to talk to." She slipped out and shut the door behind herself.
Author's Note
Wrote it while the site was down, typos intact for your pleasure!
48 - Love in All Its Forms
Lyra wandered through the market of Ponyville, shopping for herself and Bon Bon with a smile. She enjoyed grocery shopping. It helped that most of the sellers were ponies she knew, so every purchase was a reason to have a little conversation. She stopped by Roseluck's booth and pointed to a delicious looking bunch of flowers. "I'll take those. How are you and the girls doing?"
Roseluck smiled. "We're doing very well. Not a single disaster all day long."
Lyra whistled softly. "Going for a new record?" She lifted a few coins up and set them on the counter with her magic. "If you three want to come in and have a talk sometime, you know I'm ready to be a friend."
Roseluck leaned in towards Lyra. "You're already our friend. Enjoy!"
Lyra accepted her flowers and mosied on her way. One day the flower mares would let her try to help their constant panic, but for the time, being their friend was enough. She purchased some baking chocolate, vegetables, and other things needed around the house. With full bags she turned for home, only to run into Thomas.
Thomas had an envelope in his mouth, which he offered to Lyra. "Here you go."
Lyra set her bags down and accepted the envelope, curiously tearing it open. "Hey Thomas, what's up?" She found out quickly what was up. The letter was a wedding invitation between Thomas and Gertrude? "Who's Gertrude? Uh, I mean, congratulations! And who's Gertrude?"
Thomas got a big happy grin. "She's the griffon of my dreams."
Lyra dropped the letter in surprise. "Oh! Uh." She tilted her head a little. She hadn't seen a pony and a griffon get involved before, but it was possible. That's how hippogriffs happened. "That's amazing, Thomas. How did you meet?"
Thomas pointed. "At my job, of course. It started with her being blown away by my cooking skills, and grew from there. She's one fine chica."
"Chica?" Lyra blinked softly. "Oh, chick, like a little bird. She's not that young is she?"
Thomas waved a hoof. "Of course not, not that I can really tell with ponies and griffons. She's an adult, that's all I needed to know. She digs me, and I dig her, and we're going to tie the big knot. Can you be there?"
Lyra nodded quickly. "Of course. Are you already inviting the rest of the once-humans?"
Thomas nodded and started to move off. "They're the next stop. Plenty to do. Take it easy, Lyra."
Lyra retrieved the letter she dropped and slipped it into one of her bags before moving towards home. When she arrived she set the grocery bags down, only for Bon Bon to immediately start sifting through them and putting things away. "Thanks for shopping. Oh what's this?" She pulled out the same letter. "Thomas? Isn't that the name of one of your once-humans?"
Lyra sat on her haunches and nodded quickly. "Sure is. Looks like he found somepony to love, except it's a birdcat! She's a griffon of all things."
Bon Bon smiled. "That's sweet. He's the one that liked meat, right? I suppose that figures he'd get along with the griffons."
Lyra rolled her eyes. "You accepted that pretty easily."
Bon Bon shrugged. "Really, compared to all the other parts of them, marrying a griffon seems like the least of it. I'll take marrying a griffon over 'actually an alien from another reality'."
Lyra leaned in and nuzzled at Bon Bon gently. "Want to come with me?"
Bon Bon grinned. "I thought you'd never ask. Any wedding that isn't crashed by changelings is a good wedding in my book."
Lyra pointed at herself. "When are we going to get one of those, anyway?"
Bon Bon tilted her head. "I stopped even thinking about it. We're practically married already."
Lyra nodded slowly. "Well, yeah, but it'd be nice, you know, making it official, and standing in front of the whole town." She pressed in close, rubbing noses with Bon Bon. "I want the whole world to see one of our kisses."
Bon Bon blushed a little at that. "Maybe... I'll think about it. Let's get this one over with first, in either event. I'll get our nice dresses washed and pressed."
She wandered off, leaving Lyra to finish putting away the groceries. With Bon Bon not in the room, Lyra felt less guilty using cheating unicorn magic to send the various goods flying into their proper homes. With a sudden impulse, her horn flashed and Bon Bon returned to a surprise.
She squeaked and took a step back. "What? Oh... Is that you, Lyra?"
The mint-green griffon grinned. "Maybe!"
Bon Bon shook her head. "I like you just fine as a unicorn."
The griffon became a unicorn, then became an earth pony mare and tackled Bon Bon. Bon Bon laughed at Lyra, hugging her. "What's gotten into you? You don't have to keep changing. I love you just the way you are."
Lyra perked her ears. "I dunno, just got me thinking and all. We've just lived together for so long without making that last step, you know, for committing. It feels weird now that I think about it. Doesn't it for you?"
Bon Bon put a hoof under Lyra's chin, lifting it into a soft kiss that lingered a quiet moment. "If it means that much to you, we'll make it official. We'll be the prettiest couple of brides anypony ever saw."
Author's Note
A very romantic chapter, if you ignore the typos. Don't ignore them, fight them!
Lyra wandered down the road, watching Ponyville. Carrot Top was just selling a bushel of her namesake to Filthy Rich, and she could see Pinkie Pie picking up some flour, for the bakery, or so Lyra guessed.
Lyra's attention snapped dead ahead as she tumbled over the form of a filly. It was Lucy. Lyra tilted her head. "You alright? I didn't see you there." She gathered herself up and sat on her haunches.
Lucy was fine, and said as much. With a big grin she asked. "Where are you going?"
Lyra made a circular motion with a hoof. "Around. Mostly wasting time. Can you believe fall's coming soon?"
Lucy bobbed her head. "I plan to enjoy summer while it's here. I'm going to go on a camping trip, but Cheerilee insists I have adult supervision. Are you up for it? It'll be me and two other foals. You know I won't cause trouble."
Lyra nodded a little at Lucy. "Of course you won't." She wasn't 100% certain of that. Lucy may have been adult in mind, but her young body did seem to have some effect on her. "But don't feel bad if you do. Being young is all about getting into things. When did you plan to go?"
Lucy's expression brightened as she grabbed Lyra's shoulders with her hooves. "Is that a yes? Thank you!" She bounded off without ever telling Lyra the specific day.
Lyra shook her head a little and rose to her hooves. She'd find out later, undoubtedly, and Lucy looked so happy about it. A muffled thump shook the ground beneath her and Lyra looked about until she spotted a trail of smoke coming up from the crystal castle in the distance. "Twilight..." Lyra rolled her eyes. Twilight may have become a princess, but that didn't change how often her experiments exploded violently.
She turned away from the castle and trotted towards the town hall to find Darrell and Steven sitting side by side on a bench, looking relaxed. She approached them with a smile. "Hey there you two! You're looking good. What's up?"
Steven raised the camera hanging around his neck and took a quick shot of Lyra, leaving her seeing spots. "Hey Lyre Flank. We're doing alright."
Lyra rubbed at her eyes with her fetlocks. "Warn a mare before you do that, sheesh. Oh, Darrell, you mentioned you wanted a pony name?"
Darrell perked her ears and suddenly came alert. "Oh, yeah. I had a few ideas."
Steven nodded. "Well, let's hear them."
Darrell pointed at the robin on her flank. "Robin Song."
Lyra smiled. "That sounds lovely, and compliments your talent nicely. What was your other idea?"
Steven nudged against Darrell supportively. "That was a good one."
Darrell nodded a little, looking unsure. "Are you sure? It was just... kind of off the cuff, and it felt... right?"
Steven shrugged. "Maybe it was crazy pony magic? They seem to have the right name for themselves more often than not. You make a fine Robin."
Robin smiled, looking relieved. "Robin..." She looked to Lyra. "What do I have to do, you know, legally?"
Lyra pointed to the town hall just behind them. "Head on in there and let them know and they'll take care of the rest. Really, it's just a formality. If you decide to call yourself aardvark, then that's that, but it's polite to keep the paperwork in order." She smiled gently. "Congratulations, Robin Song. A lovely name for a lovely pony."
Steven rubbed his cheek against Robin's lightly. "I'll drink to that. Let's go take care of that, and then we can celebrate. It'll be on me." He hopped to the ground, and Robin followed behind.
"You know I haven't started earning bits yet," she said on the way away. "But Roseluck wants to be introduced to a new pet patridge! It'll be my first real job."
Lyra let them go, smiling at their retreating forms. She had little fear for Robin. Steven would help her through the rough patches and they already made an adorable couple. Lyra trotted towards the office just for Sunny Days to come flying in at her, coming to an abrupt halt, hovering nose-to-nose. "Hey! Heyyy! Where's Darrell? She's been missing every time I come over!"
Lyra held up her hooves in a placating fashion. "Easy there, Sunny. Darrell's with Steven, and prefers to be called Robin Song now, or just Robin for short. Did you see her cutie mark?"
Sunny's eyes widened. "She got a cutie mark?! And she didn't show it off to us?! Aw sheesh, did we make her angry or something?" She sank to touch her hooves to the ground and folded up her wings. "I was only joking last time."
Lyra raised a brow. "Joking about what? And no, I don't think she's angry at anypony, just trying to find herself. She's registering her new name right now, actually."
Sunny leaned in on Lyra. "So what's her cutie mark? What's her talent? I know you know! Tell me!"
Lyra glanced left and right. "Well... I suppose that's not much of a secret. She's a bird singer."
"Bird singer?" Sunny tilted her head. "Like Fluttershy?"
Lyra brought her forehooves together. "More focused, just birds, not all critters."
Sunny grinned. "Hey, maybe it's a shy pony thing."
Lyra gave a slow blink. "You know, that's actually... maybe. Animals could be a replacement socialization..." She looked quite thoughtful, tapping her chin. "That's worth studying."
Sunny buffed a hoof against her chest. "I'm full of good ideas, don't you know?"
Author's Note
Lyra takes a trip around town, and runs into things. It's so slice of life! Even the typos look relaxed.
Lyra walked along with three grinning foals arrayed around her. One of them, Peppermint Twist, was looking especially excited. "Gosh, I've never been camping before!" She had a bit of a lisp as she spoke. "Have you, Lucy, Feather?"
Feather Weight, the colt of the group, shook his head. "Can't say I have. I took pictures of some ponies doing it before. I know what you're supposed to do."
Lucy chuckled a little and moved around Lyra to be closer to her friends. "Knowing what you're supposed to do and knowing how to do it are verrrry different things."
Lyra was relieved to hear Lucy sounding like a reasonable voice. She wasn't entirely certain what to expect, and she was thankful for her bulging saddlebags full of supplies to hopefully make that a safe trip. "At least we're not going to the Everfree," she murmured under her breath.
Twist perked her ears, hearing it easily. "Oh my! I wouldn't want to camp there ! I don't wanna get eaten by a big monster!"
Lucy pointed at Lyra. "And that is why we have a powerful wizard with us."
Feather Weight tilted his head at Lyra, looking at her with wonderment. "You're a wizard?! Can you show us something?"
Lyra tapped at a chin as her other three legs carried her along. "Well... Alright, but we should get there first. I prefer being a friend over being a 'wizard' though."
Twist stuck out her tongue. "Anypony can be a friend! I want to see your magic too."
Lucy shook her head. "That's not true. Lyra's a very good friend, and has helped ponies recover from very bad situations." She bumped into Twist. "You had a really 'good' friend before, and she ran off, didn't she?"
Twist's expression fell. "I don't want to talk about that."
This made Lyra curious. "You don't have to if you don't want, but you're surrounded by friends. Maybe we can help?"
Feather came up alongside Twist. "Yeah, we're your friends. It's alright to tell us."
"Well..." Twist kicked at a small pebble. "It's just... I used ta be real good friends with Apple Bloom, but then I got my cutie mark before her and she didn't want to hang out anymore..."
Lucy looked to Lyra for assistance, and Lyra nodded. "That wasn't right of her, but I understand. She's very sensitive about it." She reached out and put a hoof on Twist's shoulder. "It's not your fault. She has to find her own place in life. That's why she gravitated towards other foals that are in her situation."
Twist looked pensive a moment. "I guess that makes sense... But I still kinda miss her. We used to hang out allll the time. She'd even defend me from real jerks like Diamond Tiara."
Feather bumped into Twist lightly. "You have us now! We won't let any big rich brats pick on our friends, right Lucy?"
Lucy bobbed her head. "Of course not. Apple Bloom's loss is our gain. I for one am very happy to have you as a friend."
Twist smiled at Feather, then Lucy. "Aw you guys... Thanks."
They arrived at the campsite, not too far or close to a river. The sky was clear, as it was supposed to be for a few days, and the terrain was flat and ready for them to set up their tent on. The remains of a fire circle revealed that others had used the same spot for such activities before. Lyra let her bags slip to the ground with a sigh of relief before pointing at an empty spot. "Let's get the tent setup first."
Lucy and Feather advanced to take care of that, while Twist smiled at Lyra. "Show us some magic spells!"
Lyra tilted her head. "Alright. I did promise... Hmm. Where once was a rock, now something furry. Behold as I make this stone scamper and scurry!" With a flash of her magic, the small rock became a mouse. As promised, it scurried away in a rush, vanishing into the underbrush.
Twist clopped her hooves together with an excited joy. "That was amazing!" she gushed as she looked out at where the rock-mouse had gone. "Will it turn back?"
Lyra nodded. "I'm no Twilight Sparkle. It'll be a mouse for a minute, tops, then back to being a rock."
Twist pointed at herself. "You could make me a huge dragon if you wanted to, right?"
Lyra held up her hooves. "Woah! Hold that thought. I can't do that much. Maybe a teeny baby dragon, like Spike?"
Twist bobbed her head furiously. "Yes yes! Do that!"
Feather wandered over, the tent erected and ready to shelter them all. "What are you talking about?"
Twist turned on him. "Lyra's gonna make me a dragon!"
Feather's eyes went wide. "No way! I want to see that."
Lyra felt trapped and glanced around nervously. "Well... alright... but you have to stay still. No trying to run or fly away! OK?"
Twist sat up and put her forehooves to her cheeks. "I can be a baby dragon with wings?! Do it do it!"
Lyra damned her mouth silently as Lucy came over to join the commotion. "What's going on?"
Feather pointed at Lyra. "Lyra's going to turn Twist into an awesome baby dragon."
All eyes were on Lyra expectantly. Lyra took a slow breath and sat down before tapping the ground. "Lay down and relax. This will tingle a bit, but shouldn't hurt. If it does hurt, let me know and I'll stop right away. If you want to go back early, just let me know. There's nothing to panic about, alright?"
Twist bobbed her head. "Of courth!" Her excitement made her lisp a bit worse. "I'll be good, promith!"
Lyra let her magic fly, and Twist became a dragon hatchling like Spike, subtly female, with white scales and red fins. Twist tried to bounce to her new claws, only to fall on her snoot. "Ow!" Her friends gathered around her, amazed alongside her and they seemed to be having a good time with it. Lyra kept an eye on them, and let the spell go after a few minutes. Turning a foal into a dragon wasn't anywhere as easy as she made it look.
She distracted them from asking for repeat performances with a hastily organized smores baking. Stories were shared, and good times were had. In the end, Lyra was happy Lucy had dragged her along, and that she spent time with the little ones.
Author's Note
Lyra goes camping! There are foals there too. Clearly a typo was made in the scheduling.
51 - Making the Best of the Situation
Sam sat there, looking uncomfortable, but perhaps a little better than last time? Lyra hoped so. She smiled a little bit and pointed to a bowl of candies. "Want one?"
Sam grabbed one quite well and popped it in his mouth. Lyra tilted her head. "Have you been practicing your hoofwork?"
Sam perked his ears. "Does it show?" She nodded. He looked proud. "If I'm going to have hooves, I'm going to be good at them."
Lyra smiled brightly. "You did amazingly well! I wouldn't expect anypony to get that much better so quickly. Do it again, please."
Sam looked hesitant a moment before reaching out and plucking up a candy, magnetically held to what appeared to be a flat hoof. He passed it from hoof to hoof, then let the little chocolate ball roll around on his hooves before stopping it. He seemed to have full control over the friction between the candy and his hooves, able to crank it up high enough to arrest it or make it slip around as if it was on grease. "Once I started getting the hang of it, it wasn't so hard."
Lyra tapped a hoof on the arm of her chair. "You stop belittling yourself this instant! The others who are happy about themselves, like Stone, can't control their hooves that good. You've done something very special, and you should be proud."
Sam waved a hoof dismissively, the candy sticking to it despite the movement. "You're jerking my tail."
Lyra giggled a little. "Who taught you that one? And no, I'm not. I'm completely serious. Here." She pulled out a letter opener and set it down with her magic. "Can you hold that?"
Sam set the candy down and picked up the sharp blade easily, first by its broad end, then he grabbed it by the edge, balancing perfectly on his hoof.
Lyra clopped her hooves together excitedly. "There are adults that can't do that! You have a real talent!"
He looked over his shoulder, then slipped from the couch to more easily view his flank. There it was, the same letter opener, looking like it was balanced delicately. "Shit. I would have grabbed something more impressive if I knew that was going to happen."
Lyra hopped to the floor, a grin splitting her face as she giddily circled around Sam. "It looks great! I'm so happy for you! How do you feel?"
Sam shrugged, the knife still glued to his hoof. "I have no idea what job this implies. I mean, it's a cool trick and all, but how do you base a life around it?" He put the letter opener down by holding his hoof over the table and letting it free of the invisible grip of his hoof, letting it fall with a thunk.
Lyra poked him in the side. "Earth ponies can have stronger hoof magic, and you're one of those. You should practice it. I've heard of some earth ponies that get the control fine enough that they can do things some ponies thought only unicorns could manage, without the overt magic involved." She tapped her horn. "Which is important, because unicorn magic is great, but limited. Hoof magic takes a lot less effort. You could do it all day long if you needed to, and you can lift anything your body can support."
Sam put his hoof to the leg of the table and lifted the entire table without effort, just epoxied to his hoof by the subtle magic of earth ponies. The sharp letter opener started to slide towards Sam and Lyra grabbed for it with her magic, only to see it already stopped. "How did you do that?"
Sam put the table down carefully. "I didn't want to be stabbed, so I did the same thing I do with my hoof with the table."
Lyra reared up into a seated position and thrust her forehooves into the air. "You are full of amazing magic! You don't even understand how special this is."
Sam smiled a little, perhaps becoming a little closer to understanding his talent. "Is that really that unusual?"
Lyra bobbed her head quickly. "Yes! By Celestia, yes. You are a very special pony." She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Pick me up."
Sam looked perplexed a moment before hoof-bumping her chest. She felt a soft tingle, then he lifted her up by her front. Despite him only touching the fur of her chest, she felt entirely supported. She began to giggle with amazement and a little giddy excitement. "Ok, now can you open my bags?"
She looked back to see her saddlebags jerked and jumped a bit before he apparently figured it out, and a flap jumped open. "That's it! Last test, can you grab something out of it without putting me down?"
He tried, and got a hold of a quill, but as it began to slide out, he lost his grip on so many different things at once, and Lyra tumbled to the ground in a heap. She wasn't hurt, and even laughed in amazement. "That was amazing! You're a natural at hoof magic! I can barely hold one thing at a time, and I have to be thinking about it. I bet you could do as many as you want with some practice."
Sam rubbed behind his head nervously. "I'm... still not sure what I can do with that, but it is pretty cool. I'll, uh, practice, I guess?"
Lyra nodded her head. "I recommend that, and show it off to other ponies. They'll be amazed, I promise."
Sam smiled a little. "Well I'm amazed, that's one down right? Thanks Lyra." He turned to go, but not without poking the candy bowl with his hoof. He stared at the bowl and got some of the yellow candies to line up and roll up onto his hoof before he let go of the bowl. With a triumphant grin, he popped them into his mouth.
Lyra watched him go and hopped up into her chair, making a few notes. She was so proud of her friends.
Author's Note
Sam discovers he has a neat skill! He won't be taking over the world with it, but it's kind of cool, unlike typos.
Lyra trotted through the town, whistling as she went. A pegasus suddenly swooped down at her with a letter in her mouth. "Lyra Heartstrings!"
Lyra pointed at herself. "That's me! Hey there, Muffins. What's up?"
Muffins took the letter from her mouth and offered it to Lyra. "For you!"
Lyra accepted the letter in her magic. "Thanks Muffins. How's life treating you?"
The cross-eyed pegasus tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Doing alright. Are you really talking with a bunch of crazy aliens?"
Lyra bobbed her head. "Sure am. They're all really sweet in their different ways. They're learning how to be good ponies."
Muffins smiled brightly. "Gosh, that sounds really neat, and hard. I'll stick with delivering the mail." She shook her mail satchel lightly. "Speaking of which, I really should get going! Have a good day, Lyra!"
Off she went, leaving Lyra to tear open the envelope and peek at the letter within.
Dear Miss Heartstrings,
It has come to our attention that you are the foremost expert on this matter. A pony professing to be a 'hew man' has arrived in Canterlot. Unfortunately, he is currently being held in the Canterlot Prison, and cannot be released to your care at this time. If you could come see him at your earliest convenience, we would appreciate it.
Thank You,
Lyra tilted her head curiously, considering the letter. "Why didn't they send him to me?" She tucked the letter away and tossed the envelope in a trashcan. "I hope he isn't hurting himself, or somepony else." She briefly considered calling off her visit entirely, turning between Thomas' house and the train station. "Sam's doing alright," she said to herself, making her decision and heading briskly to the station to rescue the new once-human.
On her way, she quickly scribbled a letter to Sweetie Drops. Her thoughts turned to their eventual union. Would they keep their old names? Probably, but there was something dramatic and romantic about taking on parts of the other's name. Sweetie Heartstrings? Lyra Drops? Lyra's head contently churned through equally silly thoughts on her way to Canterlot.
Lyra arrived and made a beeline for the castle, and the prison it held. She was met by a nervous looking mare with large glasses. "I'm so glad you came quickly. We just aren't sure what to do, but Princess Celestia insisted you'd be able to handle it."
Lyra lifted an ear at the alarmed mare. "Is he causing damage? Is he violent?"
She shook her head quickly. "Oh, no, not like you're saying. He's not hurting anypony, but he drank an eighth of the alcohol supplies. An eighth ! The doctor had to use her strongest detoxification spell on him to make sure he wouldn't go into shock."
Lyra tilted her head a little. "How did he get at those at all? Can he teleport?"
The mare sighed softly. "No, it's strange. He moved around the halls and guards like he knew where they'd be, and he appeared in a great explosion of heat and flames, making strange marks on the ground along the way. Celestia said he came here on his own, had to, or he would have come through the door, or so she says. I don't understand it all, I confess."
Lyra barely knew more, and nodded slowly. "Alright, so he came on his own power, somehow? Did he say anything?"
"Something about 'Another bureau universe'? I don't have the slightest idea what he's trying to say. We're keeping him safe, from himself and for others. Please, can you help him?"
Lyra bobbed her head quickly. "I'll try! Show me where he appeared. Maybe I can figure out some of those marks you mentioned." Lyra followed along curiously, coming to a small room that looked like a study. The mare that led her didn't want to go in, so Lyra entered alone.
Her eyes were drawn instantly to the strange runic marks forming a rough circle on the floor. Her training told her it was for magical use. Could humans use magic? Or was this magic he got from becoming a unicorn maybe? Lyra frowned a little, tapping at the ground before starting to circle slowly and decipher the runes. They weren't standard notation, at least not at any school she'd been to. Alien magic! "They need to send an arcane scholar in here to document this."
"We have sent for one, Miss Heartstrings."
Lyra leaned in close to the strange writing and tried sending her own magic through it. The feedback felt odd and unnatural and she shuddered, drawing back. Perhaps messing with alien runes wasn't the best idea? "Alright, where is he? The once-human, that is."
Lyra stepped out of the room to find Celestia had joined them, and was looking directly at her. "Oh! Um, hello, your majesty."
Celestia nodded softly. "I was afraid this might happen. It seems the humans are capable of wielding magic in some of their mirrors, just as we are not in some of ours. You should be very careful around this once-human. A confused magician is the worst kind, and he could cause great harm to himself and the ponies around him if he gets agitated."
Lyra pointed down the hall. "Well, lead the way, your majesty. The sooner I speak to him, the sooner we can calm the situation down. I bet he's just lost and feeling isolated. A friend is just what he needs."
Celestia smiled at Lyra's words. "I knew you could handle this. Be mindful that he is still inebriated from his... time... spent in the cellars. The doctor assured me he is safe, but he is still tipsy."
Lyra performed a sharp salute. "I'll keep that in mind. Worry not, your majesty, we'll have him straightened out in no time at all." Wasting no further time, Lyra followed after Celestia, eager to see the mysterious magic-wielding once-human.
Author's Note
A new collab approaches, beware! There may be a day's pause while we hack that out.
53 - It's OK to Be a Wizard
Lyra followed after Celestia as they descended what felt like far too many stairs. The air was cool and humid, but it smelled rather plain. Reaching the jails, Lyra found it rather… empty. "Not much activity here?"
Celestia gave a soft smile. "Should I be upset that there is little call for cells in my kingdom?"
Lyra shook her head quickly. "No no! That's good, of course. So where's our new friend?"
Celestia gestured down a side passage. "At the end. There are guards close by, but not in sight, so as to not bother him. If you need them, you need only give a cry. I look forward to your success."
Lyra bowed towards Celestia before trotting down the hallway, looking to get her eyes on this mysterious spellcasting once-human.
What she came across was not quite what she expected. Inside the cell on the lone bed sat a rough looking cream-colored stallion, who softly was humming a tune. The clothes he wore were ripped and singed and his fur coat was in equally bad condition. From what she could tell, he wore some form of green robe with bracers on his front hooves made of what Lyra suspected was animal hide, though she hoped it wasn't. He did not appear to have a cutie mark, but with his robes draping over his flank it was impossible to tell.
As Lyra leaned in to get a closer look at him through the bars, the convict's ears flicked in her direction and he turned to face her. After a moment of him examining her, he slowly formed a devilish smile on his face and simply stated, "Lyra Heartstrings... human obsessed no matter where I go, eh?" His voice was smooth and held tones of somepony who knew all the secrets you could have been hiding.
Lyra tilted her head a little. "Only by destiny. I'm more focused on being a friend." She sat on her haunches, making herself look smaller. "You look like you could maybe use one? You seem to know my name already…" A fact that creeped her out a little. "May I have yours? Anything you say is between the two of us alone, even the guards aren't going to bother us."
"Doctor patient confidentiality, eh?" The pony behind the bars droned, "Figures the first thing you ponies send to a guy locked up is a shrink and not a lawyer..." Sliding off of the bed, he trotted up to the bars with ease and sat on the floor in front of Lyra.
'So he knows how to walk like a pony?' Lyra thought to herself as she tapped her chin before extending the same hoof towards the once-human. "They sent someone you can talk to, as an equal. You're not under arrest, er, well I guess you kind of are, but not as a criminal, if that makes sense?"
The convict stared at Lyra for a time as he looked right into her eyes. Then suddenly, he tilted back and laughed heartily at some unknown joke. "I raid Celestia’s private stash, and she still doesn't find that objectionable enough? Ha!" After slowly dying down from his sudden outburst, the convict sighed deeply before looking back at Lyra, this time with a much softer expression. "They call me, 'Mage'."
Lyra nodded slowly. "Nice to meet you, Mage." She looked him over as she asked, "So, uh, you seem to already know where you are, who you're talking to, and everything else involved. Forgive my saying so, but that's a little odd. Did you cast a spell to learn all that?" She raised a brow lightly.
"Instantaneous knowledge transmission?" queried the Mage, "Nah, never could figure that one out... but to answer your question..." The Mage got up and began to pace back and forth as he talked, albeit with a bit of a sway and stumbling about. "Tell me Heartstrings, are you familiar with the concept of trans-dimensional teleportation?"
Lyra clopped her forehooves together. "No, but I can guess." She smiled, looking a little more in her element. "I'm more specialized in transmutation magic, but I saw the runes you left upstairs. Is that human magic? I didn't recognize the patterns used at all."
"Human magic?" The mage asked aloud with a puzzled expression. "Possible, though highly improbable. I never did learn who crafted the spell..." He turned to Lyra and smirked. "Though I should be thankful you don't know of it, it's as dangerous as it is powerful. And let me tell you, breaking your way through the void between realities is one heck of a power ride." With a quick raising of his hoof he cut off Lyra's next question and spoke. "And yes that's how I know everything you asked about. I've been to an Equestria very similar to the one we are in now. I've been to many... too many."
Lyra shook her head slowly. "You sound tired. Are you… being chased? Why keep going from world to world like that instead of… relaxing?" She wobbled a hoof before reaching for the cell door. "May I open this?" A trusting soul is she, but also giving him the decision.
The Mage shrugged and sat down again with a sigh, "If only I WAS being chased. That would make it a more interesting tale." He looked to the door and the back to Lyra before continuing, "Go right ahead." He confirmed with a soft nod.
Lyra opened the door to the cell and stepped inside shutting it behind her. "It sounds interesting enough, and I'd be willing to listen if you want to tell it." Lyra sat down across from the mage, she hoped that if he would tell his story that she might be able to help him better. Their conversation so far had been enlightening, but there were still many details that eluded her.
"You want the short story or the long one?"
Lyra lifted a chocolate from her saddlebag in her magic. "I'll trade a candy for the long one, or you can have it either way, unless you're allergic to chocolate, in which case you have my condolences." But did allergies translate across dimensions? Heck if Lyra knew.
“If i was allergic to that, I’d have died many dimensions ago when I had the unfortunate encounter with a Pink party planning pony.” the Mage answered as he took the chocolate in hoof and popped it into his mouth, spitting out the wrapper, free of its candy contents, a few seconds later. “Very delicious, I’m no candy expert, but was that dark chocolate with caramel?”
Lyra tilted her head. "I… forgot to check which one I gave you, but that's definitely one of the ones I had. So, about that story." She smiled. "If it helps, you're not the first once-human to arrive. I've been helping them out when they want a hoof-up. I mean, being a pony is cool and all, but if you're not used to it, I can understand being off-balance by it."
The Mage sat up as if started by her words, he spoke slowly and with trepidation, “I’m… not the only human turned pony here?” Lyra nodded confirming his question and the Mage eased back down before chuckling and shaking his head. “Huh, I don’t suppose the words ‘five score, divided by four’ or ‘Project Harmonics’, mean anything to you?” The Mage seemed to hold his breath, like he was waiting for some bombshell to drop.
Lyra shook her head slowly. "None of those sound… Wait, is that last one a music piece?" With a soft flash, her lyre appeared, floating beside her. "I know a few songs, if you're looking for that? Other than that, nope." She suddenly had an idea, raising a hoof. "Are those other worlds?"
“Yes.” the Mage answered bluntly, “And some are better left not discussed.” He rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck before leaning against the bars of the cell. “Though music would be nice, you asked a question, and you deserve an answer. Especially since you’re apparently my psychologist at the moment. So, where should I begin?”
Lyra pointed at the Mage. "I'm your friend, a professional friend. I didn't want to be one of those psychowhosits, trying to peel ponies apart bit by bit when all they need is a helping hoof and a friendly face." She threw her hooves apart in a bit of a shrug. "Semantics, maybe, but I'm not here to call you crazy, so that's a difference, right? What world did you come from originally?"
“One that never had ponies.” the Mage began, “At least not like you guys. Unicorns? Pegasi? Stuff of legend, also much much bigger.” The Mage seemed to drift off as he spoke, his eyes glazing over with his memories of the past. “No, I was a much different man then, young, adventurous, daring… foolish.” The Mage came out of his reverie and looked to Lyra somberly, “The spell you were asking about? The dangerous powerful one? I only saw it as a way to escape the hum drum of daily life, go on a nice safe vacation, to Equestria.” The Mage hesitated, then continued. “It didn’t pan out to well. So when I used it again to go home, I found myself in another land similar to my previous one, another Equestria only in ruins.”
Lyra frowned with thought. "So you used it again, then again, and again…" She rolled a hoof. "But it never got you home, and… I actually think I know why, if I understood half the things told to me about this whole mess." Lyra made a mental note to immediately tell the Princess and the ponies researching into the Mage’s magic what she discovered. The last thing she wanted was somepony accidently using it and ending up trapped like the Mage.
The Mage only chuckled darkly at her words, “Lady, you have no idea. Take your darkest thoughts, the worst of the worst, take all the evil you have ever encountered, and then put it behind the face of the one you care most deeply about.”
Lyra couldn’t even begin to imagine Bon-Bon being that horrible. The worst they ever had were a few fights, but they eventually made up afterward. To think what the Mage was describing, was impossible.
“Not easy is it?” he asked. Lyra shook her head ‘no’. “Don’t worry, that’s not a bad thing.” he continued, “And to be fair, neither were most of the other worlds. Some were downright amazing, but they weren’t…”
“Home?” Lyra finished for him.
“...Yeah.”
Lyra rolled her hooves together nervously. "If… I don't think you can go home that way. Um, so, let's say, just theoretically speaking, that wasn't an option, what world would be good enough to make a new home in?" She smiled gently. "There aren't any crazy wars or flesh eating diseases or anything like that here, that's pretty cool, right?"
“Its already higher on the list if anything.” the Mage quipped with a smile. “But, I’m not sure to be honest.” The Mage stood up and walked to the other side of his cell as he talked, “I mean, so far I haven’t exactly endeared myself to Sunbutt this time around, and being on her shit list can lead to all sorts of problems. Ones with solutions usually end with rainbow laser beams of friendship and explosions.”
Lyra shook her head quickly. "She's the one that sent for me in the first place, and don't call her that or you will end up there. She thinks, rightly in my opinion, that you're confused and lost. You need a helping hoof, not rainbow laser beams of friendship or otherwise." She perked an ear. "I… I can't even start to imagine the worlds you've been to if that sounded normal."
The Mage nodded looking thoughtful, “Well, if her royal highness thinks I stand a chance, why the heck not. And don’t worry too much, my mental health is just fine and dandy, physical though… what’re the current statutes on eating meat?” he explains with a wide grin on his face.
Lyra had to do a double take at his words, though the very real set of carnivous front teeth he had in his mouth answered a few of her next questions. “We can go over all the rules you might want to know later, and I know another human turned pony who would be interested in meeting you.”
“Sounds great!”
Lyra gestured down the hall she came through. "You seem safe enough to me, why are we talking in a dungeon anyway when we could be sharing ice cream on a train?" She tapped herself on the chest. "My treat. They'll be excited to meet you, I'm sure." She reached for the door to discover with a little rattling that maybe she shouldn't have closed it behind herself.
“Ah, allow me.” interjected the Mage as he raised his hoof to the lock on the cell door. With a quick motion of his hoof, a glowing rune flashed on the lock and with a series of clicks and motions the cell door swung open. “Figures, the door itself and the lock is magic proof, but everyone forgets about the tumblers.”
The magic coming from something that wasn't a horn was a bit new to Lyra, and she tried to get a glimpse of it, but by the time she thought to try, most of the magic was already gone and faded away. "How did you do that? Was that human magic?" She frowned a little, reaching for the door and swinging it a little in and out on its hinges. "It worked, whatever it was."
“Unicorn magic is still difficult to me. Only been in this body for three months straight, and let me tell you learning to use the bathroom in this form was tricky enough. HA!” the Mage divulged as he walked out into the hall. “But we can have a talk about differences in magic some other time, I’m betting the Princess wants a formal apology from me and probably a promise to pay her back? I’d guess as much with her.”
Lyra tilted her head a little. "She didn't mention any of that, but like I said, you're not the first once-human, so she's expecting some confused ponies to be here doing confusing things. You're part of a bigger problem, but one that… so far, hasn't been that bad." She leaned towards the new pony. "You caused the most material damage out of them all, so far."
“Yessssss.” softly cheered the Mage with a pump of his foreleg. “Still number one baby.” This was met with a disapproving glare from Lyra, and the Mage had enough decency to apologise. “Sorry.”
Lyra moved through the open door and began leading Mage out of the castle past the suspicious but still guards. Nopony challenged her, and she was soon on her way home with her newest friend. "Ponyville's a nice place. Have you been to, uh, other ones?"
“Hrm,” the Mage pondered aloud, “One where the entire town is the capital of Equestria, one where everypony is the opposite gender; one where you are technically a human; one where everypony walks on two legs, has hands, gigantic mammary glands and is yet still a pony; and one where some magician named Trixie is a Princess of Magic or something.”
Some of those sounded vaguely feasible, while others put quite the disconcerted expression on Lyra's face. Ever the optimist, she cleared her throat. "Well at least it was always there and full of happy, uh, mostly ponies?"
“...Remind me to never tell you about the Conversion Bureau… ever.”
Author's Note
I had a good time with this collab! A++, would collab again, even with the typos.
"Ponyville! Train is bound for the Crystal Empire! Ponyville Station!" The train came to a smooth halt at the station as a well-mustached pony shouted out.
Lyra pointed to the exit. "Let's go! I can't wait to introduce you to the others."
“So just so I have this right,” began the Mage, “You have Thomas, who’s a butcher; Sam, who recently discovered he has magic hooves; Lucy, a teacher who’s enjoying being a kid again; Stephen, who is a photographer; Darrell or Robin Song, who is experiencing a viewpoint change of the gender variety, and there are others too?”
Lyra nodded a little. "Sure, plenty, but let's not swamp you with names. Besides, most of them prefer to talk about themselves, or not at all, so we'll let them introduce themselves as they want to." She hopped off the train and started for the town proper. "Are you alright with company?"
The Mage seemed to hesitate to answer, “I just hope they will be alright with me.” He turned to Lyra with an unsure smile, “My last meeting with my kind ended… badly.”
Lyra waved a hoof dismissively. "Just stop worrying about it and be the welcoming pony you can be. They want to be your friend, I promise. Especially if that, uh, whatever it was works for them." She suddenly frowned. "On second thought, maybe you should keep that to yourself. We could get into a lot of trouble spreading new kinds of magic around." She waved at a few friends as she passed by the market.
Rose Luck came rushing up with a collection of flowers. "Lyra! Lyra! I heard you're planning a wedding!"
Lyra looked shocked. "I didn't tell anypony that!"
Rose grinned. "You just did."
“Dang, she got you good.” commented the Mage.
Lyra flushed red in her cheeks and snout. "Rose… We're barely even talking about it. We don't have a date or anything yet."
Rose nudged Lyra gently with a knowing look. "Well don't forget who you're going to talk to about your flowers when you do, alright?" Rose looked past Lyra to her new companion. "Who's this? Are you enjoying the last of your bachelorette days with a bang? Lyra, two-timing?" She clutched her chest with seeming overwhelming shock, which would look fake, until she actually collapsed to the ground, one leg weakly twitching.
“Huh, some things never change.” observed the Mage, he then leaned over Rose’s body and explained, “Just so you know miss, Lyra is just showing me around your fine town, plus if her Bon-Bon found out I was doing anything uncouth… I don’t think I’d live long.” The Mage quickly leaned over to Lyra and whispered, “Seriously, in some universes, your Bon-Bon is a demigod.”
Lyra shuddered softly. "Was I still with her?" She glanced around as if to check for listeners. "I'd still want to be with her, whatever she was."
The Mage only laughed, “Oh trust me, you and Bon-Bon? Near universal constant, like Twilight and books, or Applejack and bondage.”
Lyra began to nod until Applejack came up and she jerked her head back. "Stop playing games with me." She reached to poke the Mage on the shoulder. "She'll kick you if she hears you saying bad things about her."
“Technically she likes it when you say bad things about her.” added the Mage before breaking into a series of guffaws. The were immediately silenced by a heavy glare from Lyra, “Gah, fiiiiiiine. I wasn't lying though.”
Lyra rolled her eyes before arriving at the once-human house. She reached up and knocked on the door, or meant to, as the door swung open just as her hoof was about to connect, causing her to fall forwards into Robin Song. "Hello Lyra! I was looking for you."
Lyra righted herself and smiled at Robin. "Hello dear. You're looking chipper today."
Robin put a hoof at her chest. "Why shouldn't I be? He proposed!"
Lyra's expression shifted to shock quickly. "And you accepted?"
Robin bounced up and down in place. "Once he woke me up from where I kind of fell over. I didn't know what to say, or think, but… but… he kissed me, and… I realized I was… I'm getting married!"
Lyra shook her head a little. "Congratulations, Robin, just… please, be sure you're ready for this. I want you both to be happy." She offered a leg, and soon the two were hugging.
Robin noticed a strange stallion standing there silently. "Um, hello?"
“Greetings, seems everyone is getting married recently,” the Mage absent mindedly commented, “Probably just something in the water, but congratulations to you miss… Robin was it?”
Robin shook her head a little. "I suppose if it was miss it should be the last name, so I'd be Miss Song? That sounds right." She pulled back from her hug with Lyra. "Are you a human too?"
Lyra rubbed behind her head lightly. "Got it in one, and yeah, funny how that works out. They say good things come in threes, so there's probably somepony else thinking about it in town."
“Not it!~” Sing-songed the Mage, “Though to be fair, I doubt that anyone would get hitched in these.” He added motioning to his current haggard attire. “Don’t suppose any of you guys are a skilled tailor?”
Lyra shook her head, "Well, there's always Rarity, she's kind of the head tailor of the town. She's made almost everypony's clothes come to think of it, when we wear clothes."
The Mage’s face slightly soured at the mention of the fashionista, “Ah, yes. Miss Elton John herself…” he muttered.
“Who?” asked Lyra.
“Nevermind, let’s just put that under a definite maybe for the moment.”
Lyra tapped her chin. "The Apples make their own clothes for working. They insist on doing it themselves, but I bet they'd do it for you if you asked nicely."
“Another possibility.” responded the Mage thoughtfully, “But that’s a future problem, for now, I’d like to meet this gaggle of groupies you’ve gathered here.”
Robin waved at Mage with a hoof. "I have to get going, but its nice meeting you, uh…"
"Mage," offered Lyra.
Robin blinked. "Huh, you already have a pony name?"
“Nah, that was just the name ponies stuck on me because my real name was a pain to write on posters.” the Mage offhandedly explained.
Robin squinted a little. "Why were they putting your name on posters?"
Lyra looked suddenly nervous. "Oh, uh, he was a performer!"
The Mage snickered at Lyra’s Words, “Yeah, I was great at pulling the disappearing act.” He then straightened up and held out a hoof toward Robin Song. “However, if you want a less simple title, I can go by Mage McFinnigan.” The Mage finished his introduction with a slight bow.
Robin nodded her head, looking curious. "I'd like to see your show sometime. I should go though. I'm glad I ran into you, Lyra, and nice meeting you, McFinnigan. I'm moving out, by the way."
Lyra smiled. "That makes sense. I hope you two are happy together, but don't feel like you're trapped. If you want to come back, you just say the word."
Robin held up a hoof. "I'm sure." And off she went with a smile.
“And there goes somebody who never thought they’d experience the miracle of childbirth,” commented the Mage, “I wonder when that’s going to sink in for em.”
“Hey now,” warned Lyra, “I’m sure she’s plenty ready for anything in their relationship. And besides, its not like you would either.” Lyra added with a wink. There were other factors that made childbirth not assured, but Lyra felt no need to share them.
“Don’t be so sure now.”
“W-what?”
“Changelings… let’s leave it at that.” stated the Mage as he trotted inside leaving a confused and baffled Lyra in his wake.
Lyra moved to catch up with him. "What do you mean by that? Please don't tease them. I know you think you've suffered the most out of anypony, but they have their own struggles, so let's try to be nice, alright?"
The Mage stopped and took a deep breath before turning to Lyra, “I swear on my word that I will not overly attempt to harass or demean my fellow compatriots in strife...much.” Lyra gave the Mage another one of her ‘looks’. “Ugh, fine, I’ll be on my best behavior, ma’am. Happy?”
It would have to do. Lyra nodded as she called out to the house. "Once-human, coming in!"
Sunny came rushing out. "A new one?!" Her eyes fixed on Mage curiously as she quickly approached. "Hi! I'm Sunny! What kind of human world did you come from?"
“Um, Nice too meet you? And, a normal one I guess?” the Mage answered surprised by the exuberant mare.
Sunny shook her head quickly. "I've heard at least four different kinds of ones now. There's the Canterlot High one, and the one with people that have all shades of brown skin and computers, and one where everything's old fashioned and they're all formal and everything… See that's three right there. What kind is yours?"
The Mage pondered her words for a moment before he began, “I guess if you put it that way, I’m from one like the second, though if that’s true I wonder how many other magic users you have…”
Sunny pointed at Lyra. "She's a magic user. I saw her turn a pony into--"
Lyra slapped her hoof over Sunny's mouth. "We don't need to share that story, ah heh, right?"
“Transformation magic, eh Lyra?” the Mage chuckled, “I won’t pry though.” He turned back to Sunny with a hoof motion. “Actually I meant ‘human’ magic users, from Lyra’s reaction to me earlier, she made them sound rare or something.”
Sunny shook her head. "I don't know any others, unless you count pony magic? One of them's a unicorn like you and he uses it to cut up meat. Its kind of gross but cool too." She smiled brightly, looking quite giddy about the entire conversation. "Lemme see?"
“Hrm? You want to see some human magic?” asked the Mage. Sunny furiously nodded her head, and the Mage looked to Lyra for her approval.
Lyra held up a hoof. "So long as nopony, or their things, are hurt, go ahead." She feigned casual interest, though she wanted to see the human magic as much as Sunny did.
“Alright, what to do that won’t result in torn limbs.” he glanced at Lyra with a devilish smile, “Kidding.” With that said, the Mage took a hoof and held it upward, a sphere of energy seemed to coalesce around the tip of his hoof. With a quick jab he plunged the energy into the front of his barrel and held it there. A moment later a series of glowing runes similar to the ones Lyra had seen before began to glow around his hoof and with a flash of light, disappeared, leaving the mage standing looking no different.
Sunny blinked owlishly. "What did you do? Did you do something so fast I couldn't see it, because that would be pretty cool…" She says it in a tone that implied she would believe that could have happened. Before anypony could respond however, Lyra felt someone poke her from behind.
“Hey!” exclaimed a shocked Lyra, “What’s the big… idea?” she and sunny both turned around to see, the Mage, standing right behind them waving a hoof. They looked back and forth between the mage in front of them and the mage behind them, Lyra in curiosity, and Sunny in amazement.
Sunny clopped her forehooves together excitedly. "You made two of you! Oh wait." She reached for the original to poke it on the nose, checking if it was real or not. Her hoof however did not come into solid connection with anything instead phasing right through the other Mage. He quickly backed up however with a laugh.
“That tickles a little.” said the phony Mage.
“So you can do illusions?” asked Lyra.
“Illusionary constructs.” corrected the Mage as he walked up next to his doppelganger. Side by side they looked entirely the same. “While one of me is the real one-”
“-the other is a projection of both my mind and my energy. Effectively it's like-” completed the phony mage.
“-splitting your focus into multiple parts-”
“-and working with two or more bodies-”
“-instead of just one.” finished the real Mage and the fake one fizzled out of existence. The Mage slumped back after the spell ended and he started breathing heavily. “Whew, okay, I’m still way too exhausted to do stuff like that. Ha, sorry I can’t show you any more… uh, Summer was it?
Sunny pointed at herself. "Sunny, and let's get you into a bed. After you get some sleep, we can go over that cool human magic." She nudged Mage along without giving much room to argue. "Welcome to Equestria! You'll like it here, promise."
“Oy oy! Watch the robes, please!” begged a started Mage as Sunny pushed him in.
Lyra waved goodbye to the two of them and decided to head home for the evening. Things had certainly gotten more interesting lately. And she had a wedding to plan.
Author's Note
What's this? A collab gets two chapters in a row? Madness! Speaking of, if you've collabed and want to make wild typos with me again, let me know. I want to get more development out of the characters we've introduced.
Lyra had gathered a few patients together. It had been quite some time since she last tried a group session, but with so many new faces, it felt like the time to give it a new try. With a bright smile she waved to the table full of treats and drinks. "Welcome, everypony. Please, be relaxed, and let's go around the circle and introduce ourselves. I'll go first. You all should know me, but it's only fair. I'm Lyra Heartstrings, and it's nice to be here." She looked off to the left to the next pony in line.
The green earth pony in a dress cleared her throat. “I... I’m Amanda Worthington...” She glanced to the strange creature on her left, shying away with a disturbed expression. “I... uh... I’m sorry, but what are you?!”
The insect... pony... thing smiled politely and bowed slightly as if he had practiced the move a thousand times before. “At first I thought I was some sort of bug, but according to Lyra, and a few newspaper articles I was able to study since her mentioning, I’m a changeling.” He waited patiently for Amanda to continue.
“A...” Amanda blinked. “Aren’t... changelings the fairies from the old stories that stole babies and replaced them with their own?”
The changeling blinked. “I’ve… never actually heard of those stories. I didn’t think changelings had any parallel in the human world.”
“Oh, so you are a once human.” Amanda let out a sigh of relief as she sagged in her chair. “I was worried that... I’m sorry, I’m taking up too much of the time in this session.” She nodded politely at the creature, still keeping herself wearily distant.
Sensing that Amanda was done speaking, the changeling puffed out his chest, readying his speech. “I am Simon Turing, formerly a human entrepreneur from Earth, now a changeling entrepreneur… from earth. So far I’ve made the pedaling carriage, and now I’ve been finding some pretty interesting stuff out from changeling biology.” He pulled out a jar of bright pink gel.
"I guess that's my cue huh?" The batpony asked, shifting in her seat, "I'm Floyd! Former film student turned director, at least I hope. Oh um, I hope its alright Lyra but I brought a guest! Blue was curious and wanted to meet you."
Lyra looked around for this 'Blue' character, then a peek of a snout at the door. "Oh! Come in, come in. This is a friendly place, right? Um, are you also…?" She trailed off, rolling a hoof instead while trying to get a better look at the pony that entered, only for her eyes to widen. Canterlot royalty was not what she imagined!
"Hello Ms.Heartstrings, it’s a pleasure to meet you." Prince Blueblood spoke with a regal air before trotting over to Floyd and taking a seat next to her.
Simon gave the prince a look filled with uncertainty before he returned to his facade of polite neutrality. Amanda, on the other hoof, tilted her head in confusion. “Excuse me, but... who exactly are you?”
"Oh dear, please excuse my manners," the prince said clearing his throat, "I am Prince Blueblood but please, you can just call me Blue, I have been informed of the casual nature of these meetings and I would hate to disrupt that."
Lyra bobbed her head lightly. "Nice to meet you, your majesty, um… Everypony is welcome here, so long as they are polite and accepting. Everypony here has their own issues, even you, your majesty, and we're here to share and grow, together." She clopped her forehooves together. "Let's start with where we've already grown. Let's go around and discuss what we've learned or a challenge we've overcome in the last week. If you can't think of one, don't panic, that's OK."
Amanda rose a foreleg. “I learned that dragons exist.” She coughed into her hoof. “I also learned that apparently I’m insane.”
"I convinced Luna to be in one of my movies," Floyd spoke next.
Simon spoke last, having been disturbed by the mention of dragons, “As a former human, being a changeling was pretty confusing. Now I’ve finally found a few other changelings, and things are much easier to understand.”
Blueblood cleared his throat again, looking embarrassed. "I um...asked Floyd out on a date..."
“Aren’t... aren’t you both, um, stallions?” Amanda asked.
" I was a guy before, I'm not now," Floyd said shrugging, "Normally I'm not into anyone but Blue's been great and I figured I'd try it out."
The earth pony stared at them for a moment or two, her mouth flapping open and shut. Simon, on the other hand, didn’t even react, as if such things were as normal as the sun rising in the morning.
Lyra bobbed her head. "Very nice. So, if I may be so bold, I gather you're alright, you know, with being a mare?" She tilted her head a little. "It's different, I imagine." She trailed off, seeking the right words, but her eyes on Floyd.
"Oh its different alright but I'm alive and happy and that's all that really matters right?" Floyd asked with a smile, fixing her wings.
“It most certainly is not!” Amanda blurted finally. “Uh, I mean--If being happy comes at the cost of putting others in bad situations or, or, at the cost of your own morality--which I’m not saying that this does,” she backpedaled quickly, “it’s just that if happiness is the only thing you’re concerned with you’re just... not going to live a very fulfilling life, right?”
Simon scrunched his muzzle. “Wait, where did that come from-- Oh!” He paused. “Amanda, does a soul have a gender?”
Amanda sighed. “I... look. If you two... actually make it work, that’s your business. I’m just... I...” She trailed off, wringing her hooves.
"I take it you’re religious?" Floyd asked, looking at Amanda.
“I have a firm faith, if that’s what you’re asking,” the earth pony replied. “But...”
She sighed. “When I was a little girl, I thought that because God was good, everyone who followed him was good. I thought people who weren’t... who didn’t believe were all evil monsters. And then, one day, I was in a history class and... and we learned about the crusades.” Her hoof tugged at her mane. “The idea that people who claimed to be christian could... could do such horrible things.... I had a bit of a crisis of identity.”
After a moment, the earth pony looked up. “Look, I know what I believe. But I also know that at the end of the day, the whole point is that... that everybody is flawed, and the only way to be saved is Jesus. And... and if I decide to treat people like dirt just because they do things I know are wrong, I’m going to convince them that christians are hate-filled people and drive them away. So... like I said. If this works out, that’s... your business. I’m not going to throw rocks through your windows or anything, and I’d... still like to be your friend. I just....”
"Actually Amanda, there is no one truth, there are many truths," Floyd started. “We're in a multiverse of infinite possibilities and.."
Lyra held up a hoof quickly. "Woah there, hold your horses." Pun intended or not, she didn't say. "We're not here to challenge each other's faith, um, Amanda, forgive me, but I don't know much about yours? Maybe you could explain it to me, uh, later. It sounds like a private affair." She flashed a bright smile. "Let's move on. I'd like to hear challenges we faced, where we can help each other out in dealing with them in the future."
"I wasn't gonna insult her faith..." Floyd pouted, "I was just gonna point out that there aren't any incorrect faiths cuz multiverse."
“That’s the same as nihilism,” Amanda replied. “Basically, because infinity, there’s no morality. That’s what you’re saying.”
“I agree with Lyra.” Simon spoke up. “Whether or not anyone’s opinion is right, or wrong, or mutually exclusive, isn’t what this meeting is about. We should just let people keep to their own faiths and get to know each other as friends. After all, religion is one of the three things you’re not supposed to talk about at a friendly gathering.”
Floyd was about to speak again but a stern look from Blueblood kept her quiet.
Lyra pointed to Simon. "Let's start with you. What is the most vexing challenge you've had this week?"
Simon cleared his throat. “Well, as I said, being a changeling was confusing, but to find out anything more about what I am, I had to find another changeling. Sure, newspaper articles and talking to ponies helped some, but there was too much nopony knew. So, since I couldn’t find any changelings just wandering about, I... found some documents detailing where the changelings would have been flung off to, and strategic positions where they might have gathered.”
“Wait, flung to?” Amanda interrupted. “What are you talking about, were they all... thrown by dragons or something?”
Simon shook his head. “No. According to what I could find, a unicorn named Shining Armor and an alicorn named Mi Amore Cadenza literally flung--”
“What’s an alicorn?” Amanda interrupted again.
“Oh, it’s a horse with both wings and a horn,” Simon clarified.
“Oh, you mean a pegacorn,” the earth pony said, nodding in comprehension. “Pegasus unicorn. I suppose that makes sense, pegacorns were always supposed to be monsters and I can see one of them convincing an unsuspecting unicorn to help in some sick game of tossing people around.”
Simon tilted his head in confusion. He was too baffled to add on to her statement.
Lyra looked surprised at this. "I didn't even know there were alicorns where you came from, but the ones we have here are our rulers, kind and generous. Celestia is the controller of the sun, and Luna, the moon and dreams too." She tapped her forehooves together. "Then there's Cadance, princess of love, and Twilight Sparkle, princess of friends."
“...Wait, WHAT?! ” Amanda shrieked. “You have pharaoh ponies?! ”
Author's Note
The group session is off to a great start!
Looking for a lone collaber who already did a collab to do some character progression with. Let's make typos together!
56 - A Mixed Package, Part 2
Realizing that Amanda’s statement about pharaohs might just confuse everyone, Simon nominated himself as lead explainer. “Pharaohs were rulers in ancient egypt believed to have the powers of gods.”
“They enslaved whole generations of people to build shrines to them for when they died,” Amanda added, “and they constantly claimed that they were the literal manifestation of the sun. I’m sure some of them even believed it, but--Lyra, I don’t want to insult your faith, especially with what has already happened, but that’s not how the world works. Celestia doesn’t raise the sun, the planet orbits around it and rotates on its axis--”
“Actually,” Simon jumped in, “I’ve seen the sun jump around unnaturally in the sky once or twice, and I’ve read up on the spells needed for moving the sun. I don’t think it’s the same as our sun back on earth.”
"I assure you miss, my aunts do indeed move the sun and moon and have for centuries," Blueblood confirmed.
"I get the feeling she doesn't get the multiverse idea," Floyd piped up.
Simon shot a warning glare at the bat pony.
“...no, that can’t be right,” Amanda insisted faintly. “That can’t be right...”
Lyra held up her hooves. "Let's not go off on a wild speculating spree. Celestia and Luna are not the sun and moon, they just have power over them. They do it with magic, the same way I make this apple float." And over came an apple from the food table.
“...Magic? ”
Lyra offered the apple to the frazzled looking Amanda. "Everything's alright. Like I told you before, it's just the natural way of things in this world. Nopony's making deals with things or being mean to get what they have. In fact, mean ponies are usually punished and have their magic taken away."
“...I... they... they...” Amanda’s eyes were vacant even as she absently took the the apple. “It’s... it’s too much. The fire... the rock... they... they... they...”
Simon looked worriedly at the earth pony. He wasn’t sure what she meant by fire and rock, but she seemed to be having a panic attack. “Don’t worry,” he tried awkwardly, “this place isn’t too different from earth when you get used to it.”
“They... they could kill us at any moment... they could kill all of us...”
Simon had to hide a smirk. “No they couldn’t. There are a few things that can deal with alicorns.” Those ‘few things’ included the Nightmare, Tirek, and apparently changeling queens, but he wasn’t going to go into that.
“THAT’S EVEN WORSE!” Amanda snapped. “If there are even worse things than alicorns--” She stood up, apple rolling on the floor, and rushed for the door. “Got to, got to warn everyone, got to get them all to safety--”
Lyra thrust out a hoof, considering grabbing her with magic before stopping herself just in time. "Amanda! Please, everypony's just fine." Physically stopping her felt like exactly the wrong thing to do, so she didn't.
The earth pony whirled, panic fully evident in her eyes. “THERE ARE PONIES THAT CAN MURDER THIS WORLD IN CHARGE AND APPARENTLY THERE ARE WORSE THINGS THAN THEM HOW IN GOD’S NAME IS EVERYTHING FINE?!”
Simon blinked slowly, wondering how he could have worded things better.
"Please miss, my aunts want nothing but the best for the ponies of Equestria, even if Luna is a little… weird," Blueblood spoke in an effort to calm her.
“BEST?! WHAT RIGHT DO THEY HAVE TO DECIDE THE BEST?! WHAT IS THE BEST?! WHY ONLY PONIES?! THEY’RE ONE PSYCHOTIC BREAK AWAY FROM DESTROYING EVERYTHING YOU EVER KNEW AND, AND, AND I’VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE, I’VE GOT TO GET OUT, I’VE GOT TO GET OUT, I’VE GOT TO GET OUT, I’VE GOT TO GET OUT, I’VE GOT TO GET OUT, I’VE GOT TO GET OUT, I’VE GOT TO GET OUT, I’VE GOT TO GET OUT, I’VE GOT TO GET OUT--”
Lyra slid from her chair, speaking softly. "They are good and kind ponies. We could meet them, if you want, or we could never see them, if you prefer. They aren't hunting for you, and they don't want to hurt you, or any… one… else, even griffons and diamond dogs and all kinds of creatures."
“Good and kind...” Amanda slumped against the door. “Don’t want to hurt... does it matter? One mistake. One mistake, everything goes boom. One mistake, fire everywhere...”
Simon resolved never to let Amanda know about the story of Nightmare Moon. “Actually, when I said there were things that could take on alicorns, I was hoping you would think of warding objects. There’s something like that in the Crystal… Empire? Crystal City, that keeps all kinds of ‘evil’ things out. So you don’t have to trust in beings you don’t know. Speaking of which, I think learning more about Celestia and Luna might help assuage your worries.”
Amanda turned to Lyra. “How...? How do you live, knowing... knowing what they can do? How do you trust them, knowing what can go wrong?”
"I can't imagine its any different than living under someone who could push a button and vaporize you, only in this case you have benevolent rulers and not a politician." Floyd replied.
Simon scrunched his muzzle. “Another thing you’re not supposed to talk about at friendly gatherings is politics, so let’s not compare leaders. Anyway, if an alicorn did try to attack us, I’d do my best to defend you guys.”
Lyra shook her head. "One moment, let's pretend the alicorns aren't there at all, for sake of argument. I'm walking down the road, a pegasus loses control of themselves, crashes into me the wrong way, bang, dead. Is it likely to happen? Probably not, but it could. Let's not get bogged down in 'what if' and instead focus on where we are right now and how we could make life better."
Simon nodded. Then his eyes widened. “Oh, I never finished my story about the changelings! It’s a nice heartwarming story. I think it might help lighten the mood.”
“Wait...” Amanda shook her head. “I... thought... thrown by...” She swallowed. “...alicorns?”
“Oh, right.” Simon nodded. “Shining Armor and… Cadenza... raised a special shield spell which flung the changelings out of Canterlot. The changelings were invading to find food, so the shield was in defense.”
“Anyway, I found the changelings’ hideout, and I left a note attached to a cute bunny I’d been keeping in a cage and oversaturating with love, literally, as a gift to start our conversations on a good note. I asked all about changelings’ biology and gave them a location to send a message back to, because I know we both desire secrecy. One of them answered back, reserved at first, but after a few messages about biology and tactics and such, I would say this ‘Chrysalis’ and I have become good pen pals.”
"Hmm… How would you like to serve Equestria my fine changeling friend?" Blueblood asked, looking at Simon.
The changeling tilted his head. Oh, he knew what Blueblood was implying, he just hoped turning his head would make it harder to see the flash of rage that came whenever someone threatened what he believed to be a friend of his. “What do you mean?” he asked innocently. “I gave the pedaling carriages to Equestria.”
"Since you’re in contact with the changelings, maybe you could bring up the subject of negotiations?" Blueblood asked. "My aunts have been trying since the wedding but no such luck I'm afraid."
Simon calmed down a bit. “I can try, but I won’t say anything that would endanger her trust. It took me a long time to find out even the most basic things about changelings.”
“This sounds a lot like politics...” Amanda observed. “...what’s the third thing? The third thing we’re not supposed to talk about?”
“Sex!” Simon announced unashamedly. “Or was it money?”
The earth pony giggled weakly. “Well, it looks like we’re breaking all those rules anyway... Who here’s not a virgin?”
Lyra pointed at herself, "I have my Bonnie, but what we do behind closed doors is outside the scope of this circle."
Simon raised his hoof. “Had a wife back home. She was a gem,” he reminisced.
"Never been on as much as a date," Floyd said, shrugging.
"I happen to be saving myself," Blueblood said, holding his head up high.
Amanda held up a hoof, paused, and pointed at Simon. “Wait, does... does it still count if you’re in a new body?”
Simon blinked. “Marriage?”
“No, sex. Like, are you still... I mean, does that mean you’re a virgin again?”
Simon shrugged. “I guess, now that I think about it, this body would be a virgin. I definitely remember having sex though.”
“Huh. Still, I... I mean, I guess we could say we’re all virgins then. Except Lyra.”
"So… you guys wanna be in a movie?" Floyd asked, shifting the topic abruptly as he looked between Amanda and Simon.
Amanda blinked. “I... wha... maybe? I... should think about it...”
Simon tapped a hoof against his chin. “Should I go as myself? Or maybe I could act out a bunch of different pony roles… Oh, and there’s applications for pyrotechnics...” He trailed off, his last statement almost inaudible.
"Well, I’m remaking Night Of The Living Dead and since it was one of the first movies to have an a
Simon furrowed his brow. “Night of the Living Dead?” he repeated, muttering. “I’m sure it was something else.” Finally, he shook his head, coming back to reality. “Well, I’m all for it.”
Amanda frowned. “I don’t like horror films. And... wouldn’t making the changelings antagonists in a film go somewhat against the goal of opening negotiations with them?”
"Why do you assume he'd be the antagonist?" Floyd asked, raising her eyebrow.
The earth pony shrugged. “I... don’t know a lot about horror films.”
"Though it’s Simon’s choice in the end," Floyd said, giving the changeling a smile.
Simon smiled back. “I’ve never done acting before, but I’ve… probably done a few things that come pretty close. Should be fun.”
"Yes!" The bat-pony shouted, hoof pumping.
Lyra rubbed behind her head. "Do you have all the things you need to make a movie? I don't really have any of that."
"Oh yeah, Bluey hooked me up," Floyd said nodding, "Pinkie Pie is handling the catering and we got permission to use the Apple farm."
"Huh! Sounds like you have it well in hoof. Color me impressed." Lyra settled back in her seat. "I'm invited to the premiere, right?"
Amanda held up a hoof, paused, then shook her head. “Actually you were stepped on by a dragon. I guess you can take a horror film.”
Simon nearly choked before looking at Lyra in awe. “YOU WERE STEPPED ON BY A DRAGON!?”
“She was indeed,” Amanda confirmed. “Then I kicked it in the eye.”
Simon looked between the mares. “No matter how strong you are, that would be like being run over by a semi! How are you alive!?”
"So you were the ones that delayed lord Puff!" Blueblood accused, pointing a hoof at Amanda.
“Lord Puff?! That thing has a name?! ”
Amanda paused.
“Wait. Lord Puff? As in... as in some sort of ruler somewhere?”
Lyra shook her head a little. "It was mostly my fault, and he never gave a name. Is he… alright? Sorry about the kicking thing." She looked quite sheepish about the whole thing.
Simon looked annoyed. “You were stepped on by something more than fifty times your size. I don’t think you should be the one feeling sorry.”
“He... he wouldn’t happen to be a lord in the sense that he’s a tyrannical despot... would he?” Amanda asked with weak smile.
"Of course not," Blueblood rolled his eyes, "He rules over the northern region of the dragon lands and was doing me a personal favor."
“I... I delayed a dragon lord from meeting with the nephew of a sun-juggling pegacorn...”
Simon noticed Amanda’s growing shock. He tried to calm her down again. “Oh, don’t worry. Dragons weren’t one of the things that could defeat alicorns.”
“Oh I’m not worried,” Amanda said very calmly, standing stock still. “I just realized that I’m doomed, that’s all. I’m slated for execution. Do you do beheadings here? No, that’s not friendly, and you have magic. Maybe you just turn people into stone? That’d be nice, I guess. I’d still look pretty in the end.”
Lyra quickly shook her head. "The dragon, er, Puff, doesn't even know who you are. He was staring right at me, looking like he wanted to eat me." She held up a hoof to her chest. "I'm more worried."
Simon nodded at Amanda. “See, everything’s going to be just fine.”
"Lord Puff merely wants an apology, hoof written or in pony." Blueblood clarified.
Simon was about to interject, but stepped down when he realized Amanda should have the final word, even if it probably wasn’t the one he wanted.
“Oh, that’s nice. I guess I should write a will before I become a statue.” Amanda’s smile was growing thinner with every calm word she spoke. “I wonder which princess will do it?”
Lyra made a soft gesture at Amanda. "I'll write the apology, you just don't kick any more dragons and we'll call it even, alright? Everything's alright."
"I doubt my aunts would petrify you, miss." Blueblood stated calmly.
“I attacked a visiting regent. I almost started a war.” Amanda giggled a high-pitched little giggle. “That’s how it works, isn’t it? Oh, and it would be a war between dragons and pegacorns.”
“Eh, it happens.” Simon glanced at Lyra pleadingly. He obviously wasn’t used to dealing with panic.
Lyra held up a hoof. "Amanda, you are a confused pony. You're in my care. Your mistakes are my mistakes. I'll handle it, and no… one would hold you accountable. This has been quite a journey, for all of you."
“I... I really should ask Amour how she faints,” Amanda murmured. “I really really want to be able to faint right now...”
“Fainting during periods of high stress is actually caused by decreased blood flow to the brain, and that in turn can be caused by things like low blood sugar and nervous system problems,” Simon recited.
Lyra tilted her head. "I have a friend that faints all the time, and she has friends, and they faint together like it's some kind of fainting club. It's really something else to see, but we're getting off track here."
“Right.” Simon nodded. “What were we doing again? Telling stories about how our week went?”
“IIIiiIII kicked a dragon lord in the face,” Amanda singsonged, wavering on her hooves.
Lyra looked to Floyd. "What was your greatest challenge of the week?"
"Getting Luna to agree to play the villain in my remake of Dracula," Floyd said, tapping her chin. "She's a very hard mare to negotiate with."
Lyra's brows raised together. "Really? You're serious about making movies… but how did you get Luna to agree to that? I would think she'd be very sensitive about playing villains, even in jest."
“Everyone knows villains make the story,” Amanda managed to say between verses. “Everyone loves a good villain...”
“Right.” Simon tapped his hoof to his chin as he muttered. “But a bad villain could be horrible for your image, and a bad hero isn’t usually as damaging. Then again, there is Arnold, and he did star in some embarrassing roles… I’ll have to think about that.”
"I told her that if ponies love Nightmare Night, they'd love to see their hero in a horror movie," Blueblood said with a big smile.
Lyra nodded a little stiffly at Blueblood. "Well, if you support the idea, I'm sure all considerations have been made." Far be it from her to argue with nobility. "Now, I'd like to hear, nice and simply, how you all feel. Are you better than where you were just a few days ago?"
Simon nodded absentmindedly. “Got myself a pen pal.”
"I got myself a boyfriend!" Floyd said, hugging a blushing Blueblood.
“I got myself a friend, a sense of confidence, and a newfound level of existential terror,” Amanda chirped brightly.
Lyra snickered softly at Amanda. "I'm not sure that's a good thing... but you sound like you're coping." She spread her hooves wide. "I hope everypony feels everypony else is there for them, even for embarrassing things."
“Agreed,” Simon said.
"Yup, but I'm only good during the night. I am nocturnal," Floyd added.
“Ponies, ponies everywhere,” Amanda giggled. “Hoofy colored ponypone...”
Lyra tilted her head a little, but moved to see everyone to the door, just keeping an eye on Amanda. She'd have to walk the poor dear home, still… a success?
Noticing everyone getting up, Simon was careful to not shake or tip his jar of pink goo as he levitated it back into his bag, lest the whole room be covered in flames before the bomb could deactivate.
Blueblood moved over to Lyra, leaning in close. "Tell agent Drops that the bugbear escaped again." He whispered to her before trotting to the door, Floyd in tow.
Lyra swallowed heavily at Blueblood's words, but didn't stray from her task of making sure Amanda got home and nopony else left feeling any more awkward than they had to. "Thanks everypony for coming!"
Author's Note
And so ends the madness, for now. Thanks to those who participated!
Lyra arrived at home and found Bon Bon preparing an arrangement of candies shaped like flowers. She smiled a little nervously. "Oh, hey hon. So..."
Bon Bon cut her off with a soft snort. "You're avoiding something, out with it."
Lyra shook her head. "I didn't do anything wrong, promise, but... I heard the bugbear got out again."
Bon Bon's grip on her confection became tight enough to shatter the sweet dessert. "What?! No no no. I have to go." She turned away from what she had been working on and fled into the back, and Lyra chased her.
"Not again! You're not leaving me." Lyra stomped the ground. "I'm going with you."
Bon Bon looked to Lyra, a sad little smile on her face. "You don't want that, and I don't want it for you."
Lyra rushed her, pressing in close. "I'll put up with anything if it keeps you at my side. We're best friends, remember. Best friends don't let each other just... go."
Bon Bon sank a little. "Lyra... This will be extremely dangerous. Hiding's not working. I'll have to fight."
Lyra grunted in annoyance. "Then I'm definitely not letting you go! Not alone! That's not how our friendship will work. I'll fight with you if I have to. I'll punch that bugbear right in the snout! I'll turn it into an orange! He's not taking you away from me... Not again..." Painful tears began to fall from her eyes as she gazed at Bon Bon. "Don't leave me behind."
Bon Bon took a slow breath before sagging in place. "You know transmutation magic, right?"
Lyra perked up. "Sure do! One of my patients even got me this, wait a moment." She hurried off and returned with the focusing crystal, showing it to Bon Bon by hovering it in front of her friend's face. "I can make you as big as the bugbear and keep you that large with this."
Bon Bon whistled appreciatively as she looked it over. "This must have put them back a pretty bit or three. They really love you, Lyra. If we go, we may not be able to come back for them. Are you sure you can handle that?"
Lyra clenched her teeth, glancing over her shoulder at the door she had come in through not long before. "I... Yes... Yes. I love them too, but they've grown since I started helping them. Lucy will keep them in order, and Sunny will be there to bring a smile. Even Sam will help them. He's fallen so deep, he'll understand the ones that know nothing but pain. They're... they're really an amazing group of ponies. They'll... get on without me, but I won't get on without you . I won't give up my best friend." She leaned in and rubbed the tip of her nose against Bon Bon. "And my future wife."
Bon Bon gave a slow nod and pulled her briefcase full of spy supplies out. "If you're sure. Absolutely sure... Please don't follow me, Lyra. I want you to be safe."
Lyra shook her head quickly. "I won't be! I won't be safe knowing you're out there, fighting, maybe dying, and I'm just sitting there, too scared to go with you. I'll... come back with you, or maybe not at all..."
Bon Bon's face hardened at the thought of Lyra's mortality, looking away. "I don't even want to think about that, Lyra. I joined the ranks to keep ponies like you safe. So you could all live long, happy... wonderful lives." Her eyes filled with tears as she stomped the ground. "Why can't you just accept what I'm working so hard to give you?"
Lyra advanced and threw a leg over Bon Bon, pulling her closer. "Because we're stupid little ponies, and we'll do anything for our best friends. You're one to talk about taking what's given. I'm giving you me . Until death do us part. I won't let you fight alone, not again."
Bon Bon clenched her teeth. "First rule of being an agent, don't die for your country, let somepony else do that." She turned to look at Lyra directly, staring her in the eyes. "Second rule of being an agent, you're not a soldier. Use your head, use your heart, use your guts. Third rule of being an agent..."
Lyra could barely hear Bon Bon over her muted sniffles and her the tears she tried to fight back but kept spilling anyway. When she noticed a pause in Bon Bon's talking, she listened to her heart and pushed forward into a fierce kiss. Bon Bon's eyes went wide before she melted into it, and the two came together in a moment of intense passion only matched by the fear and grief tugging at their hearts.
They parted from one another as Bon Bon took a shuddering breath. "Get your things together. We leave Ponyville tonight. If things go well, we'll be back soon, or we may never. Plan for both, and be ready in ten minutes. Lyra."
Lyra looked up. "What?"
Bon Bon smiled a bittersweet smile. "You are one stupid little pony. I'm glad you're mine."
Author's Note
THE END. No more typos for you.
I feel I've dragged this on just long enough, and the right endpoint was found and I jumped on it. Did it feel good? Let me know. Hate that I stopped this here? Let me know. I like hearing from you all, even if I don't respond to everyone.
Lyra and Bon Bon moved through the evening streets of Ponyville towards the station. Lyra glanced around as they went. "I... hope we cream that jerk fast."
Bon Bon swiveled an ear at her. "It's not too late to go home. You don't have to fight it."
Lyra huffed. "I'm in. That isn't changing. Even if it did take the Princess and her friends all day to subdue it before..."
A small figure emerged from the darkness, glimmering even in the dim light. It was Lucy. "Hey! What are you two doing out so late?"
Bon Bon raised a brow. "I could ask the same, little filly. Do you parents know where you are?"
Lucy snorted with choked back laughter. "We haven't met before, but I'm Lucy, and my parents are on another world, so I'm on my own." She sat on her haunches and looked directly at Lyra, who was trying to avoid her gaze. "What's wrong?"
Lyra looked up at Lucy. "So, uh, I kinda have to go..."
Lucy frowned. "You're saying that like you're not coming back. What's wrong?" She crossed her short forelegs. "You didn't spend all this time telling us to trust you for you to not trust us. Out with it."
Bon Bon moved between Lucy and Lyra. "Look, foal, we have to go. Nothing personal, in fact, it's for your own good. The longer we're here, the more trouble it'll bring to Ponyville."
Lucy shook her head defiantly. "So? Lyra was stepped on by a dragon--" Bon Bon quirked a brow at Lyra, who shrugged sheepishly. "--and she was saved by one of us. We once-humans are tough people, er ponies. We don't want to lose Lyra, and we'll fight to keep her, so whatever's scaring you has to get through us first, and that's final."
Bon Bon reached down with her snout and grabbed Lucy by the scruff. "Lyra, where does she live? I'll drop her off."
Lucy wriggled around in the grip. "This isn't a joke!" Bon Bon placed a fetlock over Lucy's snout, silencing her.
Lyra turned to the once-human house. "This way." She led the way even as dread built in her, unsure how things would turn out. "She's, uh, kind of their leader, second to me."
Bon Bon raised a brow. "How is a bunch of stallions and mares led by a little filly, crystal or not?"
"Well, you see, she's not really a filly. I mean, physically, yeah, but she has the mind of a full-grown mare, and she takes responsibility important."
Bon Bon's reply was cut off as she was bit by her passenger. With a yelp, she dropped Lucy, who dashed off ahead. Bon Bon frowned at her retreating form. "Well, fine, we can get going now? We're running late as it is."
Lyra gave a stiff nod. "Alright, next stop, train station." They turned together and walked through the town, but arrayed in front of the station were a collection of ponies. Once-humans.
Lyra hid behind Bon Bon, who glanced back at her, then at the crowd. "They're here for you, my musical roommate. Say goodbye, or stay with them. Either is fine."
Lyra peeked out at the crowd and rubbed her forehooves together before stepping forward. "So, uh, hey guys..."
Sam crossed his forelegs. "What's this about you skipping town on us?"
Robin Song pointed at Lyra. "You're invited to the wedding, where are you running off to?"
Lucy gave a little smile from on top of Sam. "Whatever this is, let us choose to fight with you, or not. Don't run away from us."
Lyra took a slow breath. "Alright, so... Did anypony here hear about the bugbear attack?"
Shattered Stone raised a hoof. "Yeah. I heard it was during a wedding, and Twilight Sparkle took care of it."
Lyra shuffled a little. "Well, it's back, and we have to fight it. Without Twilight Sparkle's help."
Sunny stepped forward. "I'm up for a scrap! I'll teach it a lesson or two trying to mess with my bestie, Lyra!"
Not everyone was as agreeable, some backed away, others stepped forward. Bon Bon shook her head. "This is insanity! None of you are trained in combat! Why are you all so eager to throw yourselves into danger when you don't have to?"
Thomas drew out a nasty looking cleaver with his magic from a saddlebag. "Someone's threatening a friend of mine, they're going to get cut. Do you think bugbears make decent meat?"
Bon Bon went pale and turned to Lyra. "Your patients are barbaric!"
Lyra smiled a little. "Yeah... But they're mine." She held out her hooves wide and she was swept up in a crushing hug from all sides. "I'm sorry for trying to sneak away..."
Steven cuffed Lyra on the back of the head. "You always were a silly unicorn, you know that. We love that about you."
Lyra stomped a hoof. "I think it's settled, Bon Bon. We should let the bugbear come, and he'll learn how bad an idea it is to mess with Ponyville."
Bon Bon looked from one hopeful face to the next before sighing, sagging in place. "There's no reasoning with you when you're like this..." She nuzzled her way through the crowd and pressed her nose to Lyra's. "We'll just have to make sure this place stays safe your way."
Author's Note
Lyra doesn't quite make her sneaky escape. I blame the typos.
59 - It's OK to be a Princess
Lyra settled in her chair comfortably as she looked over her newest client/patient. She was rich, powerful, and extremely famous. She could have Lyra thrown in a jail never to be seen again, or have her office burned to the ground if she wanted to, but both of those were terribly unlikely. "Hi Twilight."
Twilight smiled in response to Lyra's greeting, but glanced around nervously. "I never really saw a... you know?"
Lyra shook her head. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with seeing a friend, and asking for a few opinions. You're the princess of friendship, after all, friendship is what you do."
Twilight rubbed at her right foreleg with her left hoof. "About that... You know that portal in my castle, right? The one to the human world."
Lyra quickly nodded. "Yeah, I remember it. I've been through it before. What about it? Or is this about the world past it?"
Twilight sighed. "Yes, exactly. I made some friends over there, both the human counterparts to my best friends here, but also this girl. Her name's Sunset Shimmer. She doesn't even have a counterpart, which always struck me as interesting, but that's beside the point. She used to be Princess Celestia's student, got carried away, ran off to the human world, and now she lives there, as a human."
Lyra gave a slow nod. "So, is she worried Celestia may still try to punish her?"
Twilight frowned a little before shaking her head. "Nothing like that." Her wings ruffled as she sat up. "Celestia was never even really angry with her, just disappointed and sad... And that's just it. I think all of Equestria would welcome her back, and she's turned a new leaf, but she's in no hurry at all to come back. She's happy there, in the human world, without magic."
Lyra considered it as she played with her tophat. "Tell me more about this Miss Shimmer. Does she have friends there too?"
Twilight clopped her hooves together decisively. "She didn't, not really. She was a big bully, but after I visited, we kind of worked that out, and she got better, a lot better. She became friends with my friends. There've been some rough patches, but she's persisted and they're really getting close now, but even when they weren't seeing eye-to-eye, she never tried to come home."
Lyra pointed at Twilight. "Have you considered maybe she just likes being human? I mean, sure, they're kind of odd, and fingers are weird as anything, but not everypony has to like being a pony, given the choice, right?"
Twilight sagged on the couch before laying on her belly, half-sprawled across its softness. "It could be that simple. There's something about her... I feel like she deserves more. I feel like... Oh this is going to sound so foalish." Her head sank to the couch.
Lyra smiled gently. "Twilight, nothing you say here leaves these walls, and I'm not here to judge, just to help. What are you thinking? It can't be that bad."
Twilight perked her ears at Lyra a moment before they sagged limply. "I feel like I stole her destiny. She was so close to being me, to becoming the princess that I became, before she made a mistake and it all fell away from her."
Lyra considered a moment before nodding. "Let's presume, for a moment, that was true. What did you do, exactly, to bring this about?"
Twilight's snout opened and closed a few times as she struggled to find words before she growled and thumped a hoof on the couch. "It's just not fair! She's learned her lesson... Why can't she get another chance?"
Lyra gestured towards Twilight's castle in the distance, peering at Twilight through her monocle. "That chance is waiting for her to take. It's her choice. She doesn't seem as interested in that as other parts of her life, right now. Maybe that will change, but that's not your fault. Have you ever told her to stay out of Equestria?"
"What? Never!" Twilight sputtered as she sat up, looking at Lyra with wide eyes.
"Did you ever imply the Princess would be angry with her?"
"No!"
Lyra gently smiled. "Would you help her, if she came?"
"Of course!"
Lyra slid down and crossed the room. She set a hoof gently on Twilight's tall shoulder. "Then you should focus on being a good friend. If she wants to visit me, to talk, I'm available for her, but this isn't really about her, it's about you. She made her choice, and she sounds satisfied with how her life is going right now."
Twilight tensed and looked ready to argue before it escaped her in a sigh. "I suppose... I just kind of wish I had a chance to meet the pony Sunset Shimmer. I feel like we could have been such amazing friends. I mean, not that we aren't friends now, but I only see her through the writing she does to me, and... It hurts. She writes to me like I used to write to Princess Celestia. It feels so far away!" She threw a forehoof into the air in front of her. "I don't want to be her mentor. I want to be her friend."
Lyra hesitated. She felt like she was far closer to the root of the matter, but that didn't mean she knew exactly how to proceed. "Have you tried asking a few personal questions? I mean, she writes to you about what she's learned, right?" Twilight nodded hesitantly. "So reply, but ask her about other things. Ask her what her favorite play is. Ask her what she had for dinner last night. Ask her what she's dreaming about. Make it clear you want to know more than what she's learning. You want to hear everything."
Twilight slowly smiled. "I... I kind of like that idea." She suddenly paled and shrank back. "Oh, Celestia... I feel like..."
Lyra could see guilt playing over Twilight's features and gently patted her. "What's wrong? You can tell me."
Twilight slammed her hooves down on Lyra's shoulders in a painful slap. "Celestia did this! She tried so hard to get through to me. Looking back, it's so obvious! I never noticed. Oh... I'm the worst student of all time!"
Lyra winced in pain, but tried not to show it, instead nodding at Twilight. "Maybe she did, and now you know. It sounds, to me, like you have two letters to write."
Twilight hopped to her legs, tail wagging eagerly. "Yes, yes I do! Thank you!" She hurried towards the exit, her magic throwing open the door. Just as she stepped into the doorway she stopped and turned. "Next week, same time?" Soon she was gone, hurrying off towards her castle.
Lyra watched the retreating form of that lavender alicorn and smiled as she rubbed one of her sore shoulders. Twilight was a good princess, but she was stronger than she looked.
Author's Note
What's this? A sudden chapter out of nowhere? I got inspired, and this happened. Like it? Let me know. Found a typo? Let me know that too!
60 - It's OK to be a Queen
Lyra ran her hooves together in slow and nervous motions. Her attempts to calm herself had been a complete failure. Her newest friend would be arriving, but this was not a normal client. This wasn't even Twilight-level clientele. Neigh, this couldn't be higher, and she doubted she could be more nervous.
She began counting to ten and back again as she set her hooves on the arms of her chair. She leaned back and closed her eyes and tried to filter out all of the world. Despite titles and position, she was still a pony, and she still needed a friend, and that was exactly what Lyra was. "She's just another pony. Treat her like anypony else. That's what she wants, so that's what you should do, like anypony else..."
It wasn't the first time she had met Princess Celestia, but it was the first time in that specific capacity. She had answered questions, and tried to help with disasters, but as a friend and confidante? That was different. A soft rapping on the office door made her start. "Who is it?!"
"Is this a bad time?" asked Celestia in a gentle tone.
Lyra clenched her teeth a moment before she forced a smile and used her magic to throw open the door. "Oh, perish the thought. I'm so happy to see you."
Celestia slipped inside, ducking down to make it through the door sized for a normal pony. Twilight had to stoop just a tiny bit, but for Celestia it was a noticeable delay, but not one she was stopped by. "I'm so happy you had time in your busy schedule for me."
Was she being polite? How could she even dream of saying no to Princess Celestia? "Of course I do! Please, have a... seat." That was when she realized her couch was nowhere large enough for Celestia to sprawl out on and began to sweat new and nervous drops into her mint-green fur.
Celestia looked back to the door and her horn shone a soft light as it closed under the influence of her magic. "I've instructed my guards to wait outside for us. We won't be disturbed." She moved for that couch that seemed comically small for her majestic and huge form and settled on it much like Lyra was seated upright in her chair.
Lyra suddenly giggled. Never in a million years had she imagined Princess Celestia would be seated this peculiar way, right there, with her. "I hope the trip here wasn't too rough. I don't normally get guests all the way from Canterlot."
Celestia nodded in that serene way she had. "It was no trouble at all, Misses Heartstrings. My apologies for not being there at your wedding. I've been told it was an absolutely wonderful ceremony."
Lyra leaded forward as she bobbed her head. "We couldn't be happier. We're both so... so satisfied to have our love formalized. I, uh..." She glanced away, then back at Celestia. "You know about her other job, right?" Celestia nodded. "Oh good. We even got past that. I'm her official un-official deputy!"
Celestia smiled with that relaxing way she had, like a loving mother. "You love her deeply, and you're a good pony. I've seen you leap to action to put things right before."
Lyra suddenly raised a hoof. "Wait a moment. While that's true, we're here for you, Princess, not me."
Celestia perked an ear. "You can call me Celestia."
Lyra flushed in her cheeks. "If you prefer, Celestia..." She felt so dirty addressing the princess that casually. "What brings you to me? I'm sure there's something on your mind specifically?"
Celestia gave a slow nod, her eyes closing as she did so. "Imagine my surprise when Day Court was suddenly interrupted by visiting royalty. This royal alicorn burst from the doors, crashed through the line of supplicants, and threw herself at me. She confessed to every slight she could remember inflicting on me, real or imagined, and begged forgiveness, right there, in front of everyone."
Lyra paled as the story was unfolded. "S-she didn't?!"
Celestia smiled serenely. "She did. After I dismissed court, she stayed and apologized all over again, then swore to listen more and speak less, after which she immediately began asking me all manner of personal questions. Do you know how I felt?"
Lyra shivered with dread. "Embarrassed, mortified, furious?"
Celestia's wings unfurled and Lyra flinched back. The princess reached and gently brushed a hoof over Lyra's snout. "I felt relieved, and joyful. You returned a dear friend to me, one I never truly appreciated had left me. That little unicorn I raised had become a mare with her own life. She left me, as grown fillies must, and found a life for herself. She grew well and tall, she grew just and noble. She did everything right, and left me alone on my throne. It wasn't my place to miss her. But you returned her to me anyway." Her other hoof came in and cupped the other side of Lyra's snout, holding her steady. "I owe you a deep debt of gratitude."
Lyra smiled even as she shook like a leaf in a violent storm. Celestia's words were at once terrifying and thrilling, and made her heart thud painfully in her chest as she tried to fight through the shock back to sensibility. "I-it's a pleasure, Pr--Celestia. I was just being a friend, to her."
Celestia drew back, seated awkwardly on the couch in that human way that Lyra had mastered long ago. "You did a very good job of that. Perhaps you would have time to listen to one more princess then? I have a few things worth talking about, believe it or not. We are not immune to troubles, inside or out, just by being what we are."
Lyra tried to nod gently, but it turned into a violent bobbing. "Of course! Anything you tell me will not leave this room." That time, that one time, she truly meant it. Not even her beloved Bon Bon would hear of the words she shared with Celestia. Not even a pack of wild diamond do--
Celestia gently pat her on the shoulder. "Think of me as any other pony. I would like a friend. Will you be my friend?"
Lyra smiled brightly. "It would be an honor to be a friend for you, Celestia. Please, tell me about yourself. I know the public things, but that's just a mask, isn't it? Tell me about the real Celestia."
Celestia began to speak, and Lyra listened closely. She would not fail Celestia. She could not fail their ruler and kind princess-goddess. Celestia had worked so hard for so long, to provide friendship and support was the least any pony could do in return.
Author's Note
You do one favor for a celebrity, ONE! Suddenly others are knocking on your door. Lyra is so nervouscited!
Lyra slumped onto her couch with a loud sigh, but she wasn't alone. Her cherished other half was there, and slipped a chocolate into her snout. Lyra gently chewed a moment, letting the delicious blend of flavors dance across her tongue. "You're too good to me, Bonny. You wouldn't believe the day I had today."
Sweetie Drops, known more affectionately as Bon Bon or Bonnie, settled down beside Lyra. "Tell me all about it." She was always so supportive. Lyra couldn't even express how deeply she loved the mare. She leaned over and kissed her between the eyes.
"Well, get this. This stallion walked in with this huge frown on his face. He was ordered to see me after he made a big fuss in the market, ya know? He wanted meat, raw meat!"
Bon Bon stuck out her tongue in distaste. "Yuck! What for? Did he have a pet? He should have gone to Fluttershy for that."
Lyra held up a hoof. "One sec, just remembered. This is supposed to be secret." Bon Bon just watched her quietly, and her resolve broke quickly. "Oh alright, don't twist my arm about it! So no, he doesn't have a pet. He wanted to cook it up and eat it himself."
Bon Bon shuddered with revulsion. "Blech!" She pulled another chocolate out of her bag and popped it into Lyra's snout out of sympathy. "That's just awful. Why?"
Lyra pointed at herself with a hoof, chewing the chocolate quickly. "That's what I'm paid to find out. So I sat him down and asked for his name. Thomas Peterson. What kind of name is that? I tried to get his real name but he wouldn't give it, so I went on. I saw he was a unicorn, did I mention that yet?"
Bon Bon shook her head, watching and listening with rapt attention.
"Yeah, OK, so he's a unicorn, so I ask him how much training he's had with magic. You know how it is. Some of the most talented unicorns get a few screws loose upstairs." Lyra swirled her hoof beside her head in a symbol of insanity. "But get this, he doesn't even know how to use magic at all. He can't even pick things up! When I ask where he went to school, he gets really agitated. He says he's from some place called 'Amareica' or something, and they didn't teach unicorn magic there. Kind of a lousy school if you ask me."
Bon Bon tapped her chin thoughtfully. "What if he's not from there? I never heard of Amareica before."
Lyra pointed at Bon Bon. "Exactly! That's what I was thinking. He starts complaining about how he isn't 'really' a pony. 'I was born something else.' And he describe this thing with only two legs, and wriggly things at the ends of all its hooves that it uses to grab things? Fingers! Like diamond dogs and minotaurs."
Bon Bon tilted her head. "And dragons, like Spike? He has fingers, doesn't he?"
"Yeah, like those." Lyra smiled with pride at her clever marefriend. "So I look him over for transformation magic, you know, he could be telling the truth right? But there's nothing there. No magic at all, besides the usual stuff. So I figure he's obviously traumatized by something, so I just get to talking with him."
Bon Bon leaned in, nuzzling into Lyra's cheek gently. "Did you get through to him?"
"Not so fast." Lyra sighed. "It was only the first session. He left pretty huffy about the whole thing, but I'll keep at it. Poor guy, he looks so lost and scared. I hope I can get to him."
Bon Bon smiled encouragingly. "If anypony can, you can, my lovely Heartstrings. Dinner's almost ready." she slipped to her hooves and trotted towards the kitchen. "I'll call you when it's done."
Lyra settled comfortable into her chair and reached for a cup of tea Bon Bon had left for her. She ruminated on the conversation as she sipped. That stallion had been so convinced, but he was obviously so lost and panicked. What would it be like to forget you were a pony? Lyra did not envy the stallion, and frowned with thoughts of how to make progress the next day.
Yes, she'll start with his parents. Were they both unicorns as well, or did he block their memory out with thoughts of the biped he thought he was? Lyra frowned a little in thought. It would require a gentle approach. She didn't want to come across as accusing him, or doubting him, even if she did. She pushed herself from the chair and trotted across to the bookshelf, pulling out a tome of exotic creatures and flipping through in an idle search.
She found no small selection of biped species. Fewer were both furless and scale free. Fewer still also had fingers. Ultimately she narrowed the options down to two possible matches. Not that she thought he was either of these two, but knowing the workings of his delusion may help to free him of them, so she studied the ways of the wood sprites and the humans. Hadn't he said something about humans? He was speaking rather quickly at first and she couldn't be sure, but it was a start at least.
If she didn't help him, who would? The idea of the poor stallion being thrown out onto the streets just to get into trouble again, likely much more severe, it made her heart ache with sympathy.
Lyra Heartstrings was on the case.
Lyra sat in a circle with six other ponies. They were, beside Lyra, united in the belief that they were not really ponies, despite the physical and thaumic evidence to the contrary. The room was well lit, and a small table was set to the side with little cookies donated by Sugarcube Corner and chocolates provided by her marefriend.
"This is a safe place," began Lyra. "Nothing you say here will leave these walls. You're not here to be judged, and I ask that you not judge others. We're here to talk, and to support. Let's go around the circle and introduce ourselves. I'll go--"
One of the ponies, an earth tribe, rose to his hooves with an angry glare. "I'm not crazy! I don't need to be here!"
Lyra waved her hooves in a gently placating motion. "Nopony is accusing you of being crazy, Sam. No judgment, remember? Now then, please sit down, and I'll introduce myself." Of course, all the ponies present knew who she was, but it was the first group session, and she approached it fresh. Sam settled with a grumble.
"I am Lyra Heartstrings. I used to play the lyre in a philharmonic, but found helping other ponies to be more rewarding." She gestured to her flank. "I see not all of you have your cutie mark yet. Just remember that it is a guide, not a jail." She gestured at Sam. "Will you go next, and we'll keep going around?"
Sam grunted softly. "My name's Sam. Not Tree Leaper or Sweets mcCakesalot, or whatever fancy name ponies like. I was a truck driver until I fell asleep at the wheel and went off the edge. When I hit the bottom, I woke up at the bottom of the town well. They fished me out and here I am." He sat with a thump, looking to the next pony.
The pegasus rose to his hooves. He had striking purple fur with yellow mane and tail. His mane was elegantly groomed and coiled, and his tail had several bands that kept the fur tight to it. "I'm Steven. I was a photographer. My, uh, arrival wasn't so dramatic. I was just taking pictures on my own one day and fell asleep in the grass. It was a nice day, you know? I woke up with wings just outside of town."
Lyra had to look down to see this pony. She was a little filly with bright and sparkling fur. Being a crystal pony, this was entirely natural. "Don't be shy, we're just getting to know each other today."
She frowned with a seriousness that didn't belong on a young face. "Right... I'm Lucy, and I was a teacher for over twenty years, shaping young minds to hopefully succeed in the world. Now here I am, I just wake up one morning too young to do anything, and what am I even?" She spread her hooves wide. "I'm a giant walking ball of glitter!"
Steven raised a hoof. "I think one of those charms you hang in the window to catch the light would be more accurate."
Lucy was not amused by the observation. "I feel simultaneously soft as fur and hard as a rock, and there's no rhyme or reason to it. None of this world makes any sense!" The circle murmured with encouragement while Lyra pondered how a child could lose so much faith in the entire world. Perhaps parental abuse?
The next pony was the unicorn Lyra had mentioned to Sweetie Drops. "I'm Thomas. I worked at a butcher."
Lyra interrupted. "Thomas, what is a butcher?"
Thomas raised a brow at Lyra. "I told you once before, but in case the others don't know, it's where you process meat, then sell it. I cut up carcasses of all kinds of things for people. So, anyway. I get a strange box in the mail, open it up, bright flash, bam, here I am. Not a hamburger to be seen for miles." The other ponies made soft noises of sympathy.
The next was a female pegasus. She put a hoof to her chest. "I'm Samantha, nice to meet you gentlemen."
"Gentlecolts," corrected Lyra softly.
"Gentlemen ," said Samantha with emphasis, to Lyra's chagrin. She cleared her throat and continued. "I was a waiter for a nice place. One of the customer asked me if I wanted a big tip. Of course I did, and he left a huge wad of bills on the check."
"What are bills?" asked Lyra with a roll of a hoof.
Samantha sighed. "Paper bits. Anyway, I grabbed it up, but when I went to count it later, between one bill and the next, bam, I was a pegasus, mid-flight even! You can't imagine how terrifying that was. I even made a crater when I hit the ground. I still don't know how I didn't break anything."
The next was a stallion earth pony. "Hi! I'm Shattered Stone." Lyra had high hopes for this one. He had a nice pony name and everything. "I was once a human, but now I'm a pony, and I'm OK with that. I'm stronger, healthier, faster. I miss having hands, but I get to be naked all the time and nopony cares, and getting a date is super easy."
Lyra nodded supportively at Shattered. "Weren't you looking for a date last weekend? How did that go?"
Shattered smiled widely. "Oh she was great! We shared roasted oats together, and we watched the stars just after sunset. Then I leaned in and nibbled her ear--"
Sam snorted loudly. "Enough of your bestiality. Let's move on."
The last was a mare, an earth pony. She squirmed a bit in place, looking shy. Lyra smiled at her. "No judgments, remember? Let's start with your name?"
"Uh... Darrell..."
The other ponies reacted oddly to Lyra. They seemed surprised by her name. Sam vocalized the concern. "That's not really a girl's name."
"I... I'm not really a girl... I was definitely a guy before, and a human. I..." She closed her legs quite purposefully. "I just want to go home."
Noises of sympathy rose up from the circle, and when she began to sniffle and tear up, Samantha leaned over and hugged her. Lyra smiled internally, walls were coming down and bonds were forming, this was good!
Lyra nodded her head. "I said we weren't here to doubt today, and I meant it. For today, I will assume everything you've all said is true, but I want to talk about the present, not the past." With some magic, she pulled a mirror free of the closet. It was a tall mirror that had wheels on its base. She pulled it over to rest in front of Sam. "What do you see?"
The earth pony named Sam peered into the mirror a moment before snorting. "I see a horse that can talk."
Lyra nodded. "A pony. You are a pony, right now, yes?"
Sam gave a hesitant nod. "I am a pony."
Lyra smiled, internally rejoicing at getting him to admit that he was a pony, even tenuously. He grunted and shoved at the mirror. "But I wasn't a pony before."
Lyra shook her head. "We're not talking about the past anymore." She clucked her tongue. "No matter how much I want to be a filly again, I won't be. I'm an adult now." She pulled the mirror before Thomas. "What do you see?"
Thomas frowned sharply. "I see a butcher in a unicorn's body, and he looks hungry for a juicy steak, medium-rare."
Lyra made a soft negative noise. "Meat doesn't work well in ponies. What happened last time you tried some?"
Thomas crossed his forelegs. "It tasted great..."
"And then?"
Thomas shrunk in place. "I had the shits something awful." His voice was low and cowed.
Lyra nodded. "So does that pony really want a steak?"
Thomas grit his teeth with obvious defiance, and was silent.
Lyra let him be and moved the mirror along to Samantha. "What do you see?"
Samantha spread her wings. "I see a pretty pegasus, and a confused human waitress. Don't get me wrong, if I had to be a pony, at least I think I'm a nice looking one, but I want to go back to humanity, thank you."
Lyra nodded softly. "But, for now, you are a pegasus, a pretty pegasus. Is that bad?"
Samantha shook her head a little. "I can live with it, for now, but I want to go home. My boyfriend probably thinks I died, to say nothing of my family. They probably threw my stuff on the street!" Noises echoed with sympathy.
Lucy cringed when she came in view of herself. "I see a disco ball."
Lyra raised a brow. "Really?"
Lucy shook her head. "I suppose not, they don't have legs or eyes. I know where this is going. Fine, I see a young pony or whatever I am." She crossed her forelegs petulantly.
Lyra considered skipping Darrell, she had severe self-image issues, but it would make her alienated to be skipped, so she rolled it before her. "What do you see?"
Darrell shrank at the sight of the scared and lost mare. "I'm not a girl!" She flopped out of her chair and splayed out on the ground. "I want my junk back! I want my hands back!"
Lyra shook her head. "Transformation magic is very short-lived, unless performed by a very talented magician, and even then it typically requires more energy than a unicorn can hold at once, making it quite a feat. Now, Darrell, if you sit up and tell me what you see, I'll give you a treat."
Darrell pushed up to her hooves and looked at the mirror with a powerful shudder. "I see... a woman."
"Mare," corrected Lyra.
Darrell bit her bottom lip a moment. "M-mare..."
Lyra pulled a special chocolate out of a pouch at her belt and levitated it to Darrell. Darrell recognized it and snapped it out of the air, going quiet. Bon Bon's super special treats were a force to be reckoned with, and the other ponies looked jealous at the gift. Lyra moved the mirror before Shattered Stone. "And last but not least, what do you see?"
Shattered Stone puffed out his chest. "I see a healthy and virile stallion, ready to take on the world." Lyra smiled. If she could get him to let go of his ridiculous past, he would be cured. She almost wanted to just let him go as it was, but his dangerous amnesia towards pony laws and customs had to be treated first.
"Very good. I think you all made some progress today. It doesn't feel like much, but we're taking it slow and easy. Let's take a moment to congratulate one another." Lyra slipped to her hooves, and so did the others. Half-hearted claps on the shoulder were given, and slowly they dispersed.
Shattered lingered behind, watching Lyra. "Say, are you busy tonight?"
Lyra smiled patiently. "I have a marefriend. I'm not interested, but thank you. Besides, doctor-patient relations and all that stuff."
Shattered rolled a hoof. "I won't tell if you won't."
Lyra pointed to the door. "See you next Wednesday."
He took the hint and departed. Perhaps there was more work to be done with him than she originally thought.
Author's Note
Lyra does a group session to draw these not-ponies out of their shells. How effective is it?
