In Which There Might Be Vampires

by Essbie

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Adventure, Sex, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna
Length: 9775

Basically that among other things including werewolves, changelings, normal bat ponies, plots against Equestria, and the importance of "stranger danger". Also zombies. Drugs may or may not be involved with all of that.

Cherry Syrup is a vampire. Really. No dancing around it, she is. In an Equestria where Luna created the night trotters, creatures of the night that prey on those who threaten the safety of the night, Cherry finds herself on a walkabout. On her trip, she takes in the sights, enjoys strawberry millshakes, and gets a thrill out of sinking her teeth into some riff-raff.

On one particular night, she found her cross-country tour cut short by a major misunderstanding, forcing her into the service battling the forces of Darkness most darker than dark. In other words, everything she wanted to avoid.

At least there would be plenty of zombies to send back to the grave.

This is a horror comedy inspired by multiple sources including Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, classic Dracula-esque vampirism tropes, and a desire to write a fic and have some plain ol' fun with it for once.

Postscript: Could use some art love for the cover.

Published 2015-05-26 01:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-12-17 18:17:52 UTC

2. Princess F*cking Luna Started It All, Who Knew?

2. Princess F*cking Luna Started It All, Who Knew?

There were few things that vampires properly feared. While not invulnerable, they were certainly harder to dispatch than any normal pony, so they hardly feared adversaries outside of fellow night trotters. There were the larger creatures that all ponies feared, such as dragons, that one could easily be frightened of. The wolf-ponies were essentially a non-issue, save for nights under the full moon. The full moon brought something, or rather someone else out. This individual hunted in earnest when the moon was full, and was ever watchful in the periods in between. They proved to be the apex predator, willing and able to prey upon vampires as they have done to those that threaten the peace of the night.

Currently, Cherry was having her own blood sucked out by said apex: the Princess of the Night herself. It was surprising how the situation devolved so quickly, certainly faster than that little spat she had with the cabbie in Manehatten which was not her fault no matter what that mime "said" to the guard. This time it seemed to be her fault, or the fault of her ignorance, was Luna had pointed out before this.

"I was just turning her," Cherry had defended carefully. "She's an irregular, your majesty!"

"I am aware, Cherry Syrup." The princess loomed near at that point. "Summarize Point IX of the Night Trotter Index."

The Night Trotter Index, a set of laws that pertained exclusively to vampires and wolf-ponies and the like. It wasn't something all night trotters had to memorize. Due to her lineage, Cherry was obligated to have each and every point beaten into her brain. Sometimes that was quite literal, a reason justifying her quick response.

"'Point IX of the NTI: A Night Trotter uncovering an irregular, if unable to contact proper authority to deal with the matter, may deal with the situation alone after they have undergone the proper approval system.' Which I have, your majesty, so what is th-"

"Ah ah ah! You're not finished! Include the second additive."

The additives were essentially side notes sometimes attached to each point that gave explanations regarding certain scenarios where the point may be difficult to follow. They were hardly worth the time of day, but again, they were literally beaten into her brain.

"'Should the pony be of national renown, Point IX is nullified and an archivist must be consulted regarding said figure's status as an irregular.'" Sometimes, but rarely, a public figure may have a "bad encounter" that leaves them as an irregular. Equally rarely is the following through of Point IX's Second Additive: the public figure's condition as an irregular is deemed non-threatening by comparison to being completely turned, and so they are protected. Cherry was not seeing the point here.

"Tell me, Cherry Syrup," The Princess began, like a mother to her daughter that is slow on the uptake. "Do you recognize Fluttershy here?"

Cherry looked past Luna, at the mare on the bed. She was starting to come out of hypnosis and had her head turned to look at the two of them. She appeared to be sweating bullets. Either that or she was currently in the throes of a heart attack she couldn't react to. Knowing her so far, it was probably both.

"Sort of, not really." The bat mare answered, getting an angry stomp from her Princess.

"Art thou daft?" Luna had overcome her archaic speech some time ago, but would pull it out when she was frustrated. Anger her beyond that and one would receive the crushing force of the Royal Canterlot Voice (a concept "An ignoramus? Her name doesn't seem familiar to thee?"

Cherry, in spite of being called stupid by one of the few alicorns in the world, kept as level a head as she could and thought hard. Was Fluttershy familiar? Did she say anything? She did! She said plenty of things while Cherry was planning her course of action. Thinking back now, she may have wanted to simply taste the mare, but the irregularity came first. The pegasus was telling stories; stories about her adventures with her friends. Who were her friends? She couldn't remember them except for two names: Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle, the latter being the newly appointed Princess of Friendship and the Bearer of the Element of... one of the Elements of Harmony of which there were six. She had five friends total, which including her made six. Six Elements, six friends...

"Huh, she's an Element of Harmony." Cherry realized in a quiet, dull voice.

"Correct," Luna replied. Spreading her wings, casting a sinister shadow over the mare. "And she's off limits."

"Ah." Cherry nodded and looked up, false hope spreading across her face. "Okay, I learned my lesson, can I go now?"

"Perhaps."

"Really?"

Luna smirked, her horn glowing as a weightless feeling came over Cherry's body. The bat mare's eyes widened and her pupils shrank to fearful slits.

"Oh buck NO-" Cherry screamed as she was flown through the bedroom, out the door, and into the den's wall, landing upside down against the wall, hindlegs dangling over her. She peered up (down to her perspective) to see Princess Luna smiling down at her with a toothy grin. Her body felt weightless again as she was flipped around, her back on the floor, and the Princess dove for her throat.

In hindsight, it was a big mistake, not remembering the names of the ponies that wielded the Elements of Harmony not once, but twice to defend Equestria. The present could have been worse though. Instead of Luna simply clamping to her neck, she could have easily rendered her into shadowy essence and devoured her as such. Nopony was certain what exactly happened, only that, for the most part, not one night trotter that dared stepped out of line that far was ever seen again. Maybe Luna was a weird portal in and of herself that could suck ponies into a pocket dimension that was inside her.

Nah, she just ate 'em.

Cherry was getting lightheaded and the Princess was STILL feasting on her blood. She managed to focus on wondering why and how the alicorn hadn't had her fill yet. She squinted her eyes in a confused attempt at focusing her thoughts on the matter. Was it the mare's size? She was certainly larger than the average pony, but maybe that wasn't it. Was it the room? How did THAT make sense? An exhaustion weighed down on her, and her mind was getting jumbled seven ways from Sunday.

What in Tartarus does THAT mean? She caught herself off topic just before a tiny voice called out to the Princess, who finally retreated from her throat, but she was too tired to be relieved. Her vision darkened, and her eyes glanced at tea set on the table before they faded away.

She was here for tea. She worked up a killer thirst for tea.

"Cheeeeeeerry~... Cheeeeeeerry~! Cherry! CHERRY! WAKE UP!"

Cherry's eyes shot open as a white hoof persisted at prodding her flank. She stood up and hissed at the trespasser, an alicorn with a red mane she hadn't remembered being a member of royalty before. In fact, she didn't know where she was in the first place or how it was. This room was arranged like a waiting room, with a counter at the end and many chairs lined up. Some of those chairs were occupied and the counter was empty, possibly because the attendant was now standing in front of her. That was everything normal about the room; what wasn't normal was the absence of wall and that there was nothing around what made the room a room at all. There was simply a white void all around.

"Now that you're up," the alicorn began. "Welcome to the Heavenly Waiting Room!"

"Heavenly Waiting... I died?" Cherry asked, hoof launching up to her throat to feel for her wounds. None.

"Let's see..." The alicorn summoned a rather large book from the counter and flipped in a few pages. "Ah!" She slammed it shut.

"So I'm dead?" Cherry breathed in finality. What a way to go.

"Nope!" The alicorn sent the book back to the counter. Cherry was frozen in place and stared at her. "What? This isn't a perfect science, you know! Look over there." She nodded to a light grey mare with a black and red mane. "This has to be about her tenth time here... right?"

"Something like that," the mare said with a shrug.

"And she's going right back anytime now!"

Cherry, befuddled by the casual and even lazy devices of death and the afterlife that had been revealed to her, stood exasperated and slack-jawed. "So I'm technically still kicking in the real world?"

"Yeah, this is all part of the 'real world'," The alicorn pointed out. "But yes, you'll be heading back sooner or later. Could be in a second, could be in what seems to be the next thousand years, actually!"

"How does that make any sense?"

"The 'how' is difficult to the point I wonder why 'how' is even a type of question. Think about it: who, what, where, when, and why are all pretty easily answered (more so on the physical plane; I could give you thousand year-long answers to some of Heavenly procedures and practices I take part in) and then someone came around and asked 'how'."

"Thousand year-long answers? Sounds familiar, like I'm listening to one right now."

The alicorn smirked. "Sarcasm doesn't befit you. Anyway, you're right. To put it simply, the only answer you have time for is... 'because'."

"So time is screwy here just because it is?" Cherry rubbed her head for a moment. "I guess that makes sense?"

"There you go, you're getting it!" The alicorn clapped her hooves together.

"Is 'because' also the reason to why the waiting room is pretty empty except for--" She glanced over to the seat where the repeat customer had sat, but she was gone. "Except for the two of us now that she's gone?"

"You've got it! It's also the reason why some alicorns have thousand plus year lifetimes, like Celestia and Luna, and how Celestia looks just gorgeous after all the time. Don't you agree?"

The bat mare simply looked at the alicorn, which told her all she needed to know.

"Ah, yes, bat pony, you prefer Luna. She's not bad. Hold on..." The red-maned attendant summoned the book once again and flipped through. "It says here the younger sister had something to do with why you're here."

"I got sucked off by her." Cherry sometimes forgot to think carefully before speaking, and these became a very poor choice of words in hindsight. The alicorn mare held a smile on her face for a while, except it was a chilling smile; The kind of grin not full of gaiety (which is, in fact, a word meaning "lightheartedness or cheerfulness") as much as casual, yet boiling, fury. There is possibly a website in the bowels of the Internet devoted to categorizing this sort of look and behavior, or maybe a book so people can get off their asses for a couple of minutes to find it before sitting said ass back down to read because whether in front of a screen or a page, there are a lot of asses in seats in the world today. Unlike Cherry's, who found herself falling through the void that surrounded the Heavenly Waiting Room when she was bucked off the platform unexpectedly by the redheaded one. For an instant, she remembered that she could fly, only to be hampered when the alicorn's magic forced her wings to lock.

As she screamed through the abyss, the belief that she would be enduring this fall for well over a millennium (so it would seem), she failed to remember that she could actually be awoken in mere moments. Her form disappeared from the void.

Cherry sat up in the suspiciously comfy bed and screamed, nearly deafening the young dragon in the hallway outside the room. The strange new environment was alarmingly... strange. At the very least, she was no longer falling through a boring void. The first sight that she registered was the large amount of blue. The ceiling, walls, and floor, illuminated by the sunlight coming through the open windows, were all made of some blue stone material. It was disgustingly bland; she would have a word with the management.

A red hoof rose to its owner's neck, now wrapped in a bandage. The door slammed open as she pondered it, and a tiny purple and green lizard thing came in. A baby dragon! One that looked suspiciously similar to the one often seen with Princess Twilight. He didn't say anything as he stood at the entrance of the room, yet he stared intently at Cherry. It was almost as if he was expecting to see something thoroughly terrifying when he opened the door.

"Wait, you're not melting?" The dragon asked, confused and relieved.

"...no?"

"But don't vampires melt in sunlight? I kept telling Twilight, but she wouldn't listen! Then you started screaming!"

Cherry groaned. More idealized vampire weakness mumbo jumbo crap she had to deal with, and it had been a nice long while without it. One of these days she was going to have to lecture all of these ponies (and this dragon) on vampire related myths. At least she probably would. Her kin often said that they found these myths to be hilarious (whether due to them being way out in left field or simply because it made their prey nearly wet themselves before the bite), yet she found them embarrassing.

Garlic. Are you kidding?

"Well, I'm perfectly fine. Missing about a pint of blood maybe, but I'm fine." Cherry wiggled of the bed and stretched, relieving a tension in her back with a crack.

"But I thought vampires were supposed to go-" Cherry stepped forward and pressed her hoof to his mouth.

"You were lied to," she said. "Let it go."

The dragon sighed, looking down for a moment. He shook himself out of his shame after a moment and held out his hand. "I'm Spike. Number One Assistant of Princess Twilight Sparkle."

She gave him her hoof. "Cherry Syrup. Number one fan of not getting on a Princess's bad side ever again."

Spike shuddered and bundled his arms together as if a chill rolled through. "Uuugh... I saw her come in with you and... uuuugh..." The dragon shut his eyes tight to dispel the memory. "She wasn't even that creepy on Nightmare Night! Then I heard what she did to you and... brrr..."

Cherry shrugged, not understanding the perspective and not bothering to think about it. All this talk of blood-sucking was making her hungry. "Change in subject a little bit, what's for breakfast?"

Spike stood there, staring into space after hearing the question. The dietary needs/wants of the guest were something that went beyond him. He was a culinary genius at only fourteen years old (and still, he was a baby dragon). His soups were praised, his pasta was hailed, his oatmeal was given a nod of approval, but that was all when he was feeding normal ponies. Feeding a vampire? Where was he going to...

Cherry was gone, not bothering to disturb the dragon's apparent brush with existentialism. She had already been through that song and dance, and it ended with a brief trip (fall) through the void. Breakfast was waiting somewhere in this castle. It was only a matter of working her way down to the dining room. Wherever that may be.

Spike snapped out of it several minutes later. "Maybe a diamond d-" His eyes scanned the room and his pupils shrunk to slits.

"Remember, Spike:" Twilight said. "Don't let her leave the room when she wakes up!"

"Nuts."

Meanwhile, in the hall of Friendship, Twilight Sparkle was having a conversation with Princess Luna regarding her recent guest/prisoner/patient, mostly in regards to which of those labels fit Cherry Syrup of Clan Windikar. The Princess of Friendship was a little unhappy with the circumstances, as one could imagine. First, she was woken up by a certain somepony barging down the door to her castle. Second, she had a mare she had never seen before essentially dropped in her lapped. Third, she was told this mare was a vampire pony that nearly bit Fluttershy with the intent on turning her into one. Fourth, a group of Princess Luna's guards charged in before any explanation could be made, which resulted in her leaving because "something came up".

Finally, she had to search through the castle for what she needed to repair the door. Luna had torn it off its hinges when she brought Cherry in, and all those weird nocturnal bugs that came out at night had snuck in and were generally being a nuisance in the meantime. Also, Cherry was a vampire and Luna was essentially their queen, and she never knew this because somepony was too lazy to write it down in a book that wasn't fiction, but this wasn't as important.

Now, the two princesses were positioned around the magical map.

"Forgive me, Twilight," Luna said. "I may have gotten ahead of myself."

"Three. Hours." The youngest princess groaned. "It took me that long to find replacement hinges. My castle was wide open for three hours!" A strange looking thing (possibly some kind of moth with a disturbingly long thorax) sped between the princesses. "See that? I need to look for a spell to get rid of all of them."

"Will it work on that one?" Luna gestured to the chair Pinkie Pie would normally sit or lay in, but now was host to a familiar pony-like insectoid. The Changeling simply grunted at the attention.

"I may need something stronger for that," Twilight said. "Speaking of ponies with unusual diets..."

"Cherry Syrup." Luna stepped around the map table. "She made a mistake and paid for it by giving me a free meal."

Twilight scrunched up.

"She's fine... but I have need of her. There was an incident, and I require some of her finer skills. While none of those skills include her ability to shove her hoof in her mouth, she should be fine." Luna waved her hoof to emphasize this. "Besides, she won't be alone."

"Oh? Will one of us be keeping an eye on her?"

"Are you a vampire or a vulpine?"

"Strange that you bring that up because somepony apparently thought I was a vampire at one point."

"But you are not. Apologies, Twilight, but this matter requires the attention of night trotters."

Twilight groaned. "I really wish there was a book about all of that..."

A small, ancient book with dull covers fell to the table before her. A glance at the inside cover revealed a symbol not unlike Princess Luna's cutie mark below the written words "The Night Trotter Index".

"I had written and amended that before I became Nightmare Moon," Luna explained. "While I was... gone, a group of night trotter scribes began to work on it until the last major change roughly 500 years ago. They managed to keep prints of the Index limited. I'll admit, I'm surprised you never managed to scrounge up a stray copy. Rare books seem to be one of your fields."

Twilight did not respond. Instead, she flipped through the beginning pages of the Index. From what she could tell by simply skimming, this record included a section pertaining to the process of a vampire's kiss, the transformation of a werepony, and codes of conduct for them. This first part was all in the same script, Luna's, and brown ink. With a bit of thinking, it dawned on Twilight that, due to the age of this book, the ink may not have been brown when it was first applied. As she looked at it, the more it dawned on her that it may, at one point, have been red.

"Princess," Twilight started. "D-did you write this in blood?"

The Night Princess shifted in place a little and looked around the room. Silence feel between them.

"I may have been a little dramatic then (and going through something of a millengenarian adolescent phase). Still, I fondly remember the day I began that book... Goodnight keeping the bed warm as I used what she had let me borrowed to begin the Index..."

Twilight suddenly didn't want to know any more.

"She was the first, you know."

"Huh?"

"Goodnight. She was the first night trotter. It alarmed her when it happened, and I got in some trouble with Celestia afterward because I hadn't told her what my plan was. Why I never told her could probably be because I was starting to draw away from her before... that night.

"She was a guard. One of my closest guards, to be precise, although unlike the others, she and I were closer. Romantic? Possibly. Sexual? Oh Tartarus, yes." Twilight immediately forgot she heard that. "One night while I was beginning to formulate the plan of action for how I would create this new form of protection to make the night friendly, she came in my chamber. We spoke and sipped imported wine from Deer country. It became a bit... tense.

"I won't disturb you with the details of what we did. All you need to know is that we were in bed when I suddenly... began the process of turning her. A bite to the throat, a little magic, perhaps my own blood. You can read all about how a vampire is sired in the Index. Goodnight she... well... she flailed. Now that I know how the vampiric kiss truly feels, I'm left to wonder if she was panicking or something else."

Luna ceased reminiscing. "In any event, that was the start of the vampires and of Clan Cateye. The vulpine ones were another adventure I won't torture you with. I must be going anyway." She headed for the exit, pausing before the door. "Oh! Cherry is safe to wander around the castle and town. If you see her, give her my regards; tell her I may visit her sometime."

Twilight was left alone in the Hall of Friendship. She was uncertain if this was a good thing, though all things considered it was, lest she be told the tales of Princess Luna's personal life in greater detail than she needed (which was none).

As the older alicorn left the castle, a unicorn filly came scampering in. Twilight was still absorbed in this new book.

The changeling in the chair decided to take a nap.

The door opened to reveal yet another guest room. Why doesn't this castle have any signs? Too bad the dragon was a little irritating. Maybe I should have stuck around and waited for him to wake up from that brain fart or whatever he was having. I'll be trapped here for years at this rate...

"Hello? Twilight? Are you in here?"

Hey, a ration! Cherry practically skipped down the hall to where she heard the voice to find a young white filly with a sort of soft pink or purple mane. Said filly turned from the guestroom she had opened (one Cherry had already checked) and jumped a little at the surprise.

"You're not Twilight!"

"Wow!" Cherry gasped. "Great observation, small child!"

Sweetie Belle was not amused by this antic but she kept herself as collected as possible, although a tint of worry came through. It wasn't the stranger that worried her, though. "Alright, have you seen her? The princess of-"

"Friendship, no," Cherry interrupted. "I have seen a vampire and a dragon though!"

Sweetie cocked an eyebrow. "Are... you the vampire?"

"Vampires don't exist."

"My sister is the Element of Generosity, and all the elements know about you so... Cherry?"

Crap. Cherry sighed. "Yeah, that's me. C'mere, snack."

"Not now!" Sweetie yelled suddenly. "My sister's in trouble and I need to get Twi- wait..." Gears were turning in the filly's head, and Cherry could tell. She was surprised this foal wasn't a robot with all the gear turning. "Do you know anything about wolfponies?"

"They're a stupid and unnecessary edition to Battlesledge 41,000 given the Lycans exist inuniverse already. If you mean the real version then I those too and they're... weird."

"So you're a vampire that doesn't like wereponies?" Sweetie asked.

"Well, I guess you cou-"

"FOLLOW ME!" The filly bellowed before turning tail and galloping off. "My sister is in trouble with one!"

So this kid's sister, the bearer of Generosity, is in trouble with a wolfpony? This early in the morning? Somethings fishy... maybe it was that one that attacked me last night. Could be worth checking out. In any event, there's an exit! Cherry followed the foal through a a few hallways before arriving to the exit of the castle.

"Ruffian!" Rarity shouted. "Get out of my boutique!"

Cherry and Sweetie approached the frilly-looking building and could hear the commotion from outside. "Sounds like she has it handled... weird, it's like she's beating a-"

"Ow, ow, ow, lady! This is a misunder- ow!" A stallion yelled from inside as well. Cherry paled when she recognized the voice.

"No..." She pushed Sweetie out of the way and burst through the door. Rarity stood several feet away from the stallion and was using her magic to swing a bolt of cloth around, hitting the stallion with it repeatedly. A tear almost came to her eye while doing so. The stallion in question was an orange-coated Earth pony with a brown mane, wearing a red and blue patterned scarf, and spoke with the most annoying over-the-top voice that Cherry ever did hear, and one she had had heard it before. Rarity paused the assault when she saw Cherry.

"Well, of course the vampire would show up now of all ti-" she started before Cherry waved a hoof at her.

"Yeah hold on a second, beautiful, I'm having a stroke because I cannot believe my bucking eyes."

The stallion got up and leaned over to Cherry. "OooooOOOH! It was YOU I was looking for!~~~~~"

Oh Luna, if vampires were to suddenly develop that whole "dissolves in sunlight" thing right now I would not complain.

"Honey Glazed, what the buck," she said.

Rarity stepped a little closer. "Of course you two know each other, now could you please leave my shop before a customer co-"

"No," Cherry said, silencing the prissy mare and turning her attention back to Honey. "Wh-Ho-Why-Whe- the BUCK?"

"Ooooooh it's TERRIBLE!" The stallion began melodramatically. "I mistook the miss to be a vampire like yourself, and I was specifically told to meet the vampire in town! So I revealed my (strikingly handsome) wolvish form to inform her that I'm in the know! But, it seems it was you who I was meant to find, so that didn't go so well as you can see..." He smiled apologetically to Rarity, who was simply glaring at the two nighttrotters with increasing frustration at their unwillingness to leave her business. "Yet, you came to me, so all is fantastic!~~~~~~~~~~~"

He still does the ~~~~~~~ thing... urgh. "Well there's no reason for you to meet me, so just get out of my face. I might as well browse the wares here. Unless the Element of Generosity turns out to be an absolutely terrible Equestrian, in which case I will promptly eat her because I haven't had breakfast and I'm missing a pint of blood."

"Oooh, terrible business, I heard all about it from Princess Luna herself!"

"Wait, what?" The gears in her own head were starting to turn. Sweetie, who had come into the building and was standing by her sister, felt a kinship with this vampire. "Hon- Glazed... what's under the scarf?"

"Oh yes, that." He tugged the scarf, revealing a small moon-shaped mark on his neck. "Got into a little trouble myself long ago."

"INEEDAMIRRORRIGHTNOWWHERECANIFINDAMIRROR." Rarity jumped and reflexively summoned a mirror from across the room. Cherry held a hoof to the bandage on her neck and began tugging, ripping it off and throwing it to the floor. Right on the healing bite mark the princess left her was an identical moon-shaped mark.

A mark of servitude to Princess Luna.

"No..."

And so Honey Glazed must have been told to come into town looking for her which meant...

"NO..."

"Yes!~~~~" Honey Glazed exclaimed obliviously. "We're partners in whatever her Highness has in store for us!"

It was a quiet day in Ponyville when

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Everypony stopped and listened to that horrible noise for a while. After it stopped, a few of them pondered its origin, but all quickly forgot it ever happened. Such is the nature of living in Ponyville.

Author's Note

This took me too long. I have finished it and am submitting it without editing. Most of this was written before a long break I took, and I have just recently returned to it for funsies.

And boy was the latter part of this FUN to write! No sarcasm here, it was fun!

Enjoy, if you are still following along.

INTRODUCING Honey Glazed (get it)? The hammy character I hinted at in the comments of the first chapter. This was so long ago I can't believe I waited this long.

1. This Is Gonna Suck, Isn't It?

"It all started on a midnight stroll through the woods. The air was clear, the moon was full, and I was dying to sink my teeth into something. Get it? Because I'm a vampire!"
-@TheCrimsonFuckr

Cherry Syrup downed yet another strawberry milkshake, making it three. Sugarcube Corner was not the first place she had done this, and certainly not the last. However, when it came down to it, Sugarcube Corner simply had some of the best milkshakes around. It was strange when she considered that it was, for the most part, a bakery. The thought that a bakery would have good milkshakes never occurred to her in her travels, making this place stand out. She would have to come here again; Probably squeeze some trade secrets out of the energetic mare who seemed to be the waitress and the baker in this place. That would be a lovely night, no doubt.

She didn't even have to speak of the devil, as the mere thought of that mare seemed to summon her. That or the fact she was finished. "Wowie! You downed a THIRD in record time! No brain freeze at all?" Before Cherry could answer, the pink mare gasped and continued. "Is that something bat ponies can do?"

Cherry thought about the question. "Not get... brain freeze?"

"Are you a vampire?" Cherry screamed internally. "No-no, too obvious, and offensive because you're a bat pony and all, even if that was mostly because you sucked up that milkshake in record time..."

Cherry sighed oh so quietly. She gave the mare credit, though; it wasn't a guess based on her race.

"Or maybe... Can you turn off your brain?!" Pinkie asked excitedly, eliciting a sigh from the customer (plus some others in the room).

"Sometimes, ma'am," Cherry deadpanned. "I wish."

"Ma'am? That's not my name! I'm Pinkie Pie!" Pinkie gasped (again). "Are you somepony new?! I mean I can't tell with that hood you have on that's got your face covered with an eerie shadow that I'm totally sure is supposed to mean something but it's really none of my business WHY you have it on, it looks cool and thematic, just right for the story!"

Cherry leaned forward, letting her hood fall back and her face be illuminated by the light of the room. Her rich maroon eyes glinting as a guilty smile played across her face. "Apologies," she said. "I tend to do that because..."

I'm a Celestia-damned vampire!

"...reasons."

Pinkie hopped several times in rapid succession as she spoke. "Ohmigosh ohmigosh, you ARE a new pony! I need to get your welcoming party re-"

"No," Cherry put firmly. "None of that."

Pinkie's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and several of the patrons turned to look at the two of them. Well shit, good job staying covert, Cherry. She could probably save this... somehow.

She swallowed and began the performance as solidly as she could maintain (which, given the practice she had received over the years, was very much so). "You see, Miss Pie, I'm on a trip. It's a trip of some importance and time is of the essence. I simply stopped in town for the night; not nearly enough time for you to prepare and me to enjoy a full party. I really don't want to inconvenience you by not being at the party you want to throw for me."

Pinkie tapped her chin with a hoof. "You have a point... at this hour it wouldn't be the super-fun-ultra-tastic party I want to throw you!"

"Yeah, it wouldn't," Cherry agreed. "So... how about as a 'thanks for coming to the town' present, you give me a discount on the milkshakes?"

Pinkie stuck her tongue out in thought. "Mm!" She shrugged. "Seems fair, I guess."

"Excellent, how much do I owe you then?"

"Ten bits! That's with the discount, Cherry!"

Cherry tossed the bits on the table and went to leave, but froze. "I'm sorry, did I introduce myself?"

"Nope! Just a lucky guess!" Pinkie said honestly, glancing at her customer's cherry-red mane and tail. It didn't go unnoticed.

"Oh, well then... my full name is Cherry Syrup, Miss Pie."

"Ooo! Sounds yummy!"

"I'm sure you are." Cherry smirked as she stood, stretching her leathery wings for a moment. "Tonight's a nice night. Have a safe one!"

Pinkie waved until her customer was out the door, then gathered the bits and cups on a tray, taking them to the counter. She caught a whiff of something when her muzzle happened to get a little close to one of the cups.

"Huh? That's doesn't seem right." She set the try down, putting the bits away before investigating further. The remnant of the bat mare's shake didn't smell like they did going out at all! Curious, she flicked her tongue and got a taste. The result made her recoil a little, but for reasons she didn't quite put a hoof on. What WAS that taste? There was the strawberry milkshake, but them there was something else along with it that was a familiar somehow. What was that?

Those strawberry shakes are pretty good. I should try them once without that little addition, actually. Although I would probably be disappointed. Maybe.

Cherry trotted along with her hood down, cloak flowing behind her, and her heart filled with love for this perfect night. Ever since the return of her princess, the nights had been even more perfect; the right balance of moonlight illuminating the land and shadows covering the predators stalking for whatever carelessly tread on the land at this hour. Indeed, it would be a perfect night for a hunt but for two issues.

Firstly, she already had her fill with the milkshakes this evening. Secondly, Ponyville didn't seem to have the safest prey to claim. Alas, this town was a bit too peaceful. No lesser predators stalking the weak in their petty ways. No muggers, gangsters, or rapists to ambush in their own alleys. Canterlot was different. No vile folk of the latter sort, but plenty of muggers and gangsters and general riff-raff. She once got lucky and plucked herself an undercover changeling.

Cherry shuddered at the memory. "Lucky" was pushing it. While the flavor was unique in a very good way, it was that squirming, insectoid form struggling beneath her that bugged her. Those buzzing, fragile wings trying to escape from her clutches made the experience close to not being worth it. Why did such an exotic dish have to look so yucky? Probably some sort of evolutionary defense against her kind or the work of some cruel entity that wanted to mess with the vampiric ponies of the world. In spite of that, the taste still made her mouth water. She could only imagine how nice it would taste had the little pest been trusting and willing to let her feed. Not that its struggles made that much sense anyway. She kept her bloody promise after all; she let it go, didn't she? Of course, the poor thing was too weak and stunned to transform and was rounded up by some Royal Guards when it stumbled around the street, startling some snobs that needed a good scare once in a while. She wasn't privy to what happened to the captured changelings. Hopefully no secret genocide or some cruel experiments. Best case scenario was that they offered the guards some "release". What with that shape shifting ability, those bugs were walking fantasies. She'd tap one disguised as the new nerdy princess, probably. Maybe. Depends if she had her mane in a librarian bun. That would be cute as buck, now that I think about it.

She trotted, lost in thought, to the edge of town, and proudly strutted into the forest with her head in the clouds. The spookiness of the Everfree Forest did not register for quite a while. She was not even aware of her surroundings until she stepped on a fallen branch, snapping her out of her daydreaming.

Nightdreaming? Cherry thought as she returned to awareness. Nightdreaming sounds about ri- wait a minute...

"Where the buck am I?" She asked aloud, looking all around her. Black, skeletal trees towered over her, tied down by creeping vines that hung like rope from an old, used gallows. The moonlight cast the haunting images of the leaves on everything, and the bushes and undergrowth seemed to skulk. Occasionally she would make out the red glint of many pairs of eyes staring at her in the darkness or hear the snarls of some nocturnal abomination not unlike a Cockatrice or a Manticore, or perhaps even an Ursa Major. Or Minor. Or both.

All in all, it felt like being back at home, in the gardens of Castle Windikar. Cherry loved it there; glowing mushrooms and all that. The nostalgia caused a fanged smile to spread across her face, and she inhaled deeply, taking in the scent. Her smile faltered and she sniffed again. Something didn't seem right. It smelled virtually the same as the gardens in nearly all aspects, but one scent in particular caught her off guard. It was familiar, yet unwanted. She wandered the undergrowth, shutting her eyes and letting her nose do all the work. It did not take long for the scent to get stronger and the source to make itself known. A rumbling growl got her to snap her eyes open.

Before her was a zebra, staring at her. At least, so she thought at first. While a first glance told her she was looking at a regular old zebra, a longer look got her to notice everything wrong. The zebra, a mare by the looks of it, wearing hoop earrings and bands on her neck and one of her forelegs, all gold and traditional by the look of it. What caught her off guard, however, was the distinct presence of extra coat hair, or rather fur. More noticeable was the utter lack of hooves, as they were now paws. Paws with rather sharp looking claws.

"Oh," Cherry sighed, realizing her situation. This was a werewolf... or a horswolf, depending on the etymology one preferred (what did the "were" part even mean?). However, she knew that these folk, while a little repugnant in this form, were nice and transformed at will. Even then, they would have some sort of control and could even talk. Unless, of course, Luna had cast a full moon, then they were out of control for the most part. Just like tonight. "Oh."

The zebra/wolf mare reared up and howled, having laid eyes on her prey.

"Oh, buck me."

"Okay, is everything ready?" Fluttershy asked herself. The shy mare took a look around her den. The tea was ready, the cookies were out, and Discord was out doing... something else.

"Good evening, my trans-dimensional friends!"

"Good evening, Discord!"

"Hello Nyarlathotep, and he-- oh my, if it isn't Q! Stirred up any sentient ion storms lately?"

"Afraid not, but I recently became acquainted with a strange, strange human. What was his name? Oh, 'yawn' to these human names, you know. Out of all the species I have encountered in my travels, theirs are the most... ho-hum. Save for one or two out of billions. I must say that he actually stood out in one case; he was the spitting image of yours truly! If I can recall, his name sounded something like... 'Juan de Luego'... or just 'John'. Both being equally boring names. 'Jean-Luc', on the other hand..."

"Ooh, perhaps we should call this 'John' fellow up for tonight's little game at the bottomless pits!"

Something else. Something best not to dwell on. The pegasus shook off all attempts at imagining the complicated scenarios her roomie was going to get into tonight. She nodded, satisfied that everything was ready for her get together with--

A series of loud, rapid knocks startled her out of her feathers, making her dive under the sofa. After her heart resumed beating (which took quite some time) Fluttershy peaked out from her hiding spot. The knocking continued, just as urgently has before. The spooked mare trembled as she crawled out of her hiding place and stood, trot ever so slowly to the door. Another, louder series of knocks stalled her progress.

"Pleaseopenuppleaseopenuppleaseopen UP!" Came a frantic voice from the other side of the door, rattling the door with their knocking.

Fluttershy stepped up to the other side of the door. "Um... who's there?"

"Like you would even know who I am between a stranger and the princess of friendship, just let me-" A muffled howl in the distance cut her off. "OH BUCK SHE'S HERE LEMMEINLEMMEINLEMMEI-"

Fluttershy hesitantly opened the door and was instantly toppled to the floor, knocking the wind out of her.. She was dazed for a moment, and came to feeling the weight of a pony on top of her. She groaned softly as she tried to focus on who she let in, and came face to face with another mare. This one wasn't the average everyday mare, though. This mare was staring down at her with almost crimson colored eyes with cat-like pupils. Cherry red bangs in a messy sweep dangled above her, her magenta ears were tipped with extra tufts of fur, and since she was just as shocked as Fluttershy was, her mouth was agape, revealing two pointy fangs.

Cherry, on the other hoof, found herself on top of a pegasus that looked rather shellshocked. She was familiar in the sense that she thought she should recognize her, but nothing came to mind. Whoever she was, she was rather pretty and, admittedly, appetizing. Her mouth nearly began to water; Society's monsters weren't her only source of nourishment, and that run she had getting here seemed to work those milkshakes right out of her system. The tiny fangs this pegasus had nearly caught her off guard before something else did.

A lupine figure rose outside the open door and snarled loudly, crouching for a pounce.

Cherry screamed. "SPOOKY MUTT!" She yelled. Leaping off the pegasus, she kicked the door shut and launched herself against it, clicking the necessary locks and bolts. Outside, the wolf mare deflated with a whimper. After moping for a bit, she stalked back into the forest. No pony steaks tonight.

The vampire slid down the door and turned, relaxing with her eyes closed. "Whew, that was a close one," she sighed. "Now that that's over with, why don't we-?" Her eyes opened not to a fragile pegasus, but what seemed to be an army of critters led by the most bitter of rabbits. Not that this was unsettling; she was a Celestia-damned vampire that just fled from a furious and hungry zebra wolf-mare. She simply stood with a grunt and attempted to work her way past the animals. The rabbit in particular proved to be a nuisance by, almost stoically, constantly getting in her way every time she tried going around it. After some time with this blocking, she gave up and tried manually moving it. As soon as her hoof touched it, the animal hopped into the air and gave the offending limb a good martial arts style kick. Again, being a vampire, it didn't hurt, but it certainly annoyed her.

"Hello?" She called. "Sorry to bother you if you're in the bathroom or anything but, uh... you kind of saved my life just now, I guess. Point is, could you call off your killer rabbit? He's freaking me out and stuff. Also I smell tea and I'm reeeeally thirsty right now."

A pink-maned head poke up from behind a sofa near the table on which the tea (accompanied with tasty looking cookies she had seen in Sugarcube Corner) sat. "I-Is it gone?" She asked, ever so quietly. So quietly, in fact, that your average pony wouldn't be able to hear it, but Cherry had rather sensitive ears. During the full moon, at least. Princess Luna's former prison, when full, did not discriminate. All "night-trotters" shared a mutable nature influenced by it on nights it was full. For the lupines it was obvious, for the vampires there was that increase in the senses, a small increase in energy, strength, dexterity, thirst, and more often than not libido.

"She is," Cherry answered. "Bones to chew, I guess." She could hear the crickets dying. "Uh... I'm Cherry Syrup. What's your name?"

The pegasus stepped out from her hiding place. "Um... I'm Fluttershy." She introduced herself at an even lower volume than before, to the point one could argue its status as a whisper.

"Well, Fluttershy, could you...?" Cherry gestured to the army of animals protecting their caretaker, hoof once again being attacked by the rabbit.

Fluttershy gasped. "Angel Bunny! That's no way to treat a guest!" She scolded as firmly as possible, coming forward and goading the rabbit (and indirectly, the other animals) back to where they were before the commotion. Cherry, while not taken back earlier by the army's gathering, was surprised at how they had all gone back to bed so easily. Fluttershy didn't even need to ask twice. There was something mystical about that, and yet she had a feeling she was forgetting something else. Something she had only just seen.

"I'm so sorry about that," the mare said. "Angel and the others can be a bit too protective of me."

"I tackled you and had you pinned to the floor for about half a minute," Cherry pointed out. "I don't think that reaction was 'too protective'. But seriously, that rabbit is trained in Kung Fu or something." In his den, Angel Bunny's ears twitched and he grunted, his meditation disturbed. It was a pity he was out of incense on this night, so his frustration would be difficult to quell. He was certain Grand Master Turner would sympathize, wherever he may be now.

"Well, you were being chased by... who or what was that monster?" Fluttershy asked, shaking with fright a little.

"Ah, uh..." Cherry stuttered, eyes darting about the room as she cooked up a good cover story. "Just a big angry dog I met in the woods. Probably a feral Diamond Dog, actually."

"Oh dear, and I've met the ones that aren't wild," Fluttershy said. "They're a bit rough before becoming feral."

Cherry snickered. Rough.

The yellow mare jumped. "Oh! Since you probably don't want to go out there after all that, would you like some tea or a cookie? I'm expecting some, um... important company soon, but nopony to worry about. They won't mind you being here."

"They wouldn't mind us starting early either?" Cherry asked. After a confirming nod, she took a seat on the sofa near the tea and cookies.

Fluttershy poured her a cup and slid it over to her. "Not to intrude, Cherry, but are you passing through? I don't remembering seeing a bat pony in town... or ever, really. Not to offend but..."

"We're creepy to you?" Cherry finished after a sip of her tea. It was decent, but could use a little something. Something she ran out of in Sugarcube Corner. Damn. Need to get more. "Don't worry. It's sort of our race's purpose, to be spooky! Between you an me, the effect is lost once somepony sees one of us get a mango or something stuck on our teeth."

"So bat ponies really are that fond of mangoes?"

"Not just mangoes. most fruit, but I think the mango has become a symbol with the fruit-eaters." Her eyes widened a little and she quickly sipped her tea, about to move on from that little slip. It turned out that the save wasn't necessary; Fluttershy hadn't noticed at all.

"Oh, so when I may have been turned into a fruit-vampire-bat-pony for a while it was... um..." She trailed off, thinking.

"If you're going to say 'normal'," Cherry started, putting down her tea. "Then you need to listen to what you just said. Pegasi don't just turn into... what you just said." It was so stupid that she couldn't bring herself to quote Fluttershy.

"Oh, I didn't mean to turn into one!" Fluttershy explained with a smile. "It was an accident, and I still have the fangs to prove it."

Sweet bucking Nightmare Moon on a pot of Nightmare Night candy corn, the fangs. Cherry realized, eyes widening. She had SEEN the fangs. It was just a second before the beast made itself known. But if this mare had fangs, that meant she was...

"Irregular," Cherry whispered to herself between sips of tea.

"I don't mind if you don't believe me," Fluttershy said.

"No, no, I believe you!" Cherry set the cup down, putting on a smiling, her eyes glinting as she looked up at her host. "It sounds like you've had your fair share of adventures!"

Fluttershy looked down, hiding behind the swoop of her mane bashfully. "Y-yes. I've been on a few with my friends."

"Well, Fluttershy," Cherry said, leaning forward, flexing her wings a bit, and leaning back. "I'll be leaving town in the morning. I am passing through on a little trip. But I'd love to hear more about your adventures. At least until your guest arrives. When will they be here anyway?"

The pegasus looked up at the clock on the mantle. "She said she would be here at midnight on the dot, and it's ten-thirty. Maybe. That clock is a little slow."

Cherry almost spit up her tea. "Ten-thirty already? I left Sugarcube Corner at around eight, and it feels like it's only been half an hour at most!"

"D-do you need to leave?" Fluttershy asked.

"No, no, like I said, I'll be around until dawn. Time flies, that's all. A midnight tea party won't interfere with anything." She polished off her cup of tea. Gonna bide my time. "So, about those adventures. Care to share some stories?"

Unaware of the bat pony's thoughts, Fluttershy began telling her stories of the adventures she had had with her friends. Cherry found herself surprised that, other than being friends with the Princess of Friendship herself, the shy introverted mare in front of her was friends with that bubbly, hyperactive mare that served her milkshakes and offered to throw a party for just hours ago. The world was a small place, it seemed. Then again, all six of her friends were located in Ponyville. Ponyville was, quoting the stuck-up snobs of Canterlot, "far enough into the boonies to hear the banjos and too small to be a real town", although neither assumption was true, especially now with the new castle and the town's status as being home and base of operations for a Princess. The population had begun to rise, starting with a small influx of Royal Guards dispatched to the area for Princess Twilight's protection. She remembered spotting one or two in Sugarcube Corner, blathering on about Princess Luna for some reason.

Cherry, in the state of biding that she was in, did not pay much more attention to the content of Fluttershy's stories. She caught a few things about the Spirit of Chaos, some hack magician, a dragon, and some disconcerting totalitarian village somewhere to the northeast. Her eyes glanced up at the clock on the mantle.

11:45... whoops, too long, but I'll have to make do.

"Fluttershy," Cherry interrupted with a glint in her eyes. "I've just recalled a little fact you told me earlier."

"Oh?" The pegasus, curious, tilted her head at the bat pony after taking a sip of tea. "What did I say?"

"It's about your teeth."

"Oh yes, about those fangs that never went back to normal. I-It's really weird, I know."

"So you were telling the truth?"

"Yes. And I can show you them, too." Fluttershy stood and sat next to Cherry on the sofa. She opened her mouth and pointed out the singularities. She really did have two pointy fangs similar to Cherry's, only a little smaller and thus concealable. "I'm glad they're small enough to hide, I can't imagine how some ponies would react."

"I can, and it's not so bad." Cherry faced her host, staring into her eyes. "In fact, I'm going to have to coax them out."

Fluttershy cocked an eyebrow. "What do y-" Before she could finish her sentence, she felt her body numb and go limp. She felt puppet-like. "What's... what's going on?" She forced out.

Cherry slid off the sofa with a hoof wrapped around the mare, who was unwillingly compelled to trot along with her. "I'm sorry I hid the truth from you, Fluttershy. You're a nice mare and I'd love to be your friend. Hopefully you'll forgive me." Cherry had hypnotized her, or rather her body. It was a technique vampires shared and could utilize by simply staring into their victim's eyes and willing it. Usually, it made them more submissive to feeding. Cherry didn't use it much because she loved the struggle, but this case was different. She guided Fluttershy through the cottage, poking her head into every room before finding a bedroom.

"How did..." Fluttershy could feel the control over her ability to even speak waning, leaving her unable to speak or do anything aside from watching. The bat pony slid her onto her bed.

"That magical accident made you an irregular," Cherry explained. "You see, Fluttershy... I'm a Celestia-damned vampire!" She spat out her confession as quickly as possible. "Since you're an irregular, you have at least one of our traits but are incomplete, left to wander. It threatens our secrecy. To be blunt, I have to turn you."

"Vam...pire? T-turn?"

Her animals were fast asleep by this time, and hadn't come to her rescue, much to Cherry's relief. "Tonight's a full moon; the only time a vampire of my level can turn a pony." She climbed into bed, spreading her wings and bearing over the mare she had under her spell. "Normally you would have a choice in the matter. A vampire cannot turn a full pony without them being willing to the process. Unfortunately for you, your say was taken away on the day of the accident."

She lowered her head next to Fluttershy's. "I'm sorry. It won't hurt much, I promise." The pegasus wanted to scream, perhaps struggle. She had told Discord once upon a time that she was weak and helpless. Tonight it was terribly, terribly true. A tear slid its way down the side of her face as Cherry lowered to her throat.

Okay. Here it goes. Om nom nom time. The vampire mare opened her mouth, baring her fangs.

Suddenly, all of the lights in the house went out. The fire in the fireplace outside was extinguished along with the candles, and the lamps went out as if someone flipped every switch in the house at once. Cherry's eyes opened wide and she lifted herself, mouth shut. Someone had done that and it wasn't her. This wasn't her doing. She couldn't do this. She felt powerful magic in the shadows. Her eyes caught a glance of something on the nightstand next to the bed. It was a clock.

12:00. That clock outside really was slow. The guest had arrived. A solid form rose up from the shadows next to the bed, towering over her and Fluttershy. "Cherry Syrup. Future Duchess of Castle Windikar. You are not the only one who hunts this night."

Cherry dared raise her eyes to its face, and lept to the other side of the bed in shock. "Your... your... YOUR..."

The figure smirked. "'Your' what?"

"Your Majesty!"

Author's Note

It's not obvious yet but Cherry is meant to be hapless and/or unintentional goofy. A note about her appearance that wasn't described, or well described in this part, is that her mane is Cherry Red, her eyes are Rich Maroon, and her coat is whatever the name of the color it is AKA same as Berry Punch's coat color, I'd imagine.

Castle Windikar is a mix of Windigo and Volikhar, the latter being the name of the vampire castle and clan from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim's Dawnguard DLC expansion.

That bit about the etymology of werewolf (or werewulf) is referring to the fact that "wer" means "man" as in humans. I did some digging and if a equine of some sort were to transform into a wolf-like creature under the full moon (or possibly at night in general at will) the term would be closer to "horswolf", considering "hors" is literally horse in Old English. I'm not sure what to stick with so it's up to the readers how I'll continue referencing them: werewolf, horswolf, or wolf-mare/wolf-stallion/pony?

"Grand Master Turner" is a nod to a game and its upcoming sequel. The hint is martial art rabbits.

Final note, had a bit of confusion over "Highness" or "Majesty" at the end. It's not outright said in this chapter, but the guest is indeed Princess Luna. I tried figuring out which one was correct because I swear I heard that the two are not interchangeable. Leave a note if you can.