Epic Rap Battles of MLP

by enigmaMystere

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Fluttershy, Random, DJ P0N-3, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Original Character, Octavia
Length: 175770

a silly little thing the ponies in my head persuaded me to do.

Something I just couldn't get off my mind until I wrote it down. Be warned: the ponies in these battles really go off on each other. Almost exactly like it is in "Epic Rap Battles of History", except with less cursing. There's plenty of verbal bashing, though.

Vinyl Scratch is the DJ for most of these battles, and will be doing the all-caps commentary (except for the ones she's in, of course). OC tag because of slight self-insert.

I've heard that this story is better when read with someone else. You know, with each person doing one half of the rap battle? :derpytongue2:

List of Rap Battles (as per request)
#1: Twilight Sparkle vs. Rainbow Dash
#2: Pinkie Pie vs. Rarity
#3: Spa Sisters vs. Flim Flam Brothers
#4: Octavia vs. Vinyl Scratch
#5: Angel vs. Gummy
#6: Derpy Hooves (Ditzy Doo?) vs. Lyra Heartstrings
#7: Princess Luna vs. Discord
#8: Scootaloo vs. Pipsqueak
#9: Fluttershy vs. Screwball
#10: Apple Bloom vs. Diamond Tiara
#11: Trixie vs. Featherweight
#12: Silver Spoon vs. Spike
#13: Sweetie Belle vs. Queen Chrysalis
#14: Applejack vs. Carrot Top
#15: Bon-Bon vs. Lyra Heartstrings
#16: Twilight Sparkle vs. Rainbow Dash (rematch!)
#17: Big Macintosh vs. Shining Armor
#18: Iron Will vs. Photo Finish
#19: Gilda vs. Prince Blueblood
#20: Nightmare Moon vs. the Doctor (Doctor Whooves)
#21: Princess Celestia vs. Princess Luna
#22: Snips and Snails vs. Twist and Ruby Pinch
#23: Braeburn vs. Soarin'
#24: Zecora vs. Cheerilee
#25: Winona vs. Opalescence
#26: Derpy Hooves vs. Pinkie Pie
#27: Spitfire vs. Daring Do
#28: Princess Cadence vs. Queen Chrysalis
#29: Babs Seed vs. Lightning Dust
#30: Sunset Shimmer vs. Trixie *
#31: tba

Picture by Silversnow here on this site.

...should there be a 'sex' tag, considering some of the stuff brought up in the rap battles? :applejackunsure:

Published 2012-05-23 04:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-08 01:03:24 UTC

Rap Battle #2

The battle between Rainbow and Twilight soon became well known. Other ponies considered the possibility of using them to settle disagreements.

It wasn't long before Vinyl found herself facing an upset Pinkie at the local cafe. She raised an eyebrow at the magenta mare, confused. "Wait, so you want to have a rap battle with Rarity ... Rarity ... because she refused to come to your party?"

"Well, yeah! But it wasn't just that she refused!" Pinkie slammed a hoof against the table, growling. "She said that it was uncouth and filthy! Can you believe it? My 'Beach Party', uncouth and filthy? The nerve!" She leaped to her hooves, pacing back and forth in front of the white unicorn, upset. "There's going to be a sand castle building contest, not to mention beach volleyball and a muffin-eating contest! I can't believe she's going to pass all that up because she's afraid of getting a little sand in her fur or being exposed to warm air!"

Vinyl sighed, shaking her head at Pinkie. "Fine. Just let me finish my meal, okay?"

Pinkie grinned, bouncing in joy. "Oki doki loki!" She quickly headed towards the square, leaving the DJ to finish her hay fries in peace.

Soon enough, Vinyl had her equipment set up, ready to begin the rap battle. Pinkie stood there, sternly glaring at a mortified Rarity. Vinyl checked to make sure her microphone was ready and the illusory backgrounds were up before she started the music.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

My name is Pinkie Pie and I am here to say
That I'm the best pony and that's how it'll stay!
You really think you can beat me, Miss Aloof?
Hard to imagine when you hardly ever lift a floofy-hoof!
Element of Generosity? I doubt that's true!
You never do a thing that doesn't somehow help you!
I vow to shoot your marshmallow flank into the sky -
Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!

Oh, it ... is ... on!
This will end worse than your party of one!
A lady never stoops to violent acts.
She also never lets herself get so fat!
If you got any bigger, you might just explode,
Or maybe get a personal ZIP code!
Rarity is always in high demand;
More so than a mare who eats as much sugar as she can!

You say that sugary goodness is something super-duper bad,
But it's the energy from those sweets that lets me rap so fast!
Besides, didn't you eat half the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness?
Everypony in town agrees that I'm the one who is the baddest!

"Baddest" isn't a real word, you foal!
It's ponies like you who wreck other's souls!
Not only are you portly - you're a huge tart!
How many ponies have you given private parties?

You think I'm bad? That last one didn't even rhyme!
I could beat you at any given time!
You weren't thinking when you opened your store.
No one in Ponyville wears clothes for the glamour!

My designs have made quite the splash in Canterlot.
Tell me, Pinkie, just how is Lints-a-lot?
Everypony in town runs when you begin to sing,
Because it is the ... worst ... possible ... thing!

Watch it, Rare, Pinkamena's on the case!
Why don't we put a smile on that face?
Challenging me like this is a huge mistake -
Leave! Before I feel like making cupcakes.

There was a long, awkward pause. Nopony there understood what Pinkie had said, but the tone of her voice worried them greatly.

Vinyl cleared her throat, breaking the awkward silence. "Okay. I think it's best if we stop for now." She turned to the magenta mare nervously. "Please put that away. Who knows what harm it can do?"

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Rap Battle #3

Vinyl groaned, watching as twin earth ponies walked up to her. " ... I can't believe this ... " She sighed, standing up to greet who she could only assume were her next customers. "Let me guess: somepony forgot a birthday?"

They looked at her, confused and curious. "No ... who would do something like that and ask for a rap battle?"

The white unicorn almost swore she heard "forever" drifting in on the breeze. She shivered slightly, putting on a smile. "Nopony. So, what can I help you with?"

The blue-furred one stared at the ground, crestfallen. " ... Flim and Flam are back ... and this time ... they have ... " She began to tremble, unable to finish the sentence.

Her pink sister gently patted her back, trying to calm her. She looked at the DJ seriously. "They have a machine that could replace us. We want to have a rap battle for the safety of our customers, not to mention our livelihood!"

Vinyl stared blankly at them for a few moments. " ... so ... you win, you keep your jobs ... they win, you have to quit?" When they nodded to her, she sighed softly. "I'll do it."

Vinyl quickly found herself at her turntables again, preparing to start yet another rap battle. She looked at the pair of rival siblings uneasily, hoping they wouldn't go to blows. This was her first time DJ'ing for four ponies at once, after all. She glanced at the crowd in surprise; it was much larger than before. She quickly turned on her headset and started the music.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

Well, look here, brother of mine, it's the same as before.
Another group for us to beat? Oh, what a chore!
We are the best of the best. Nopony else compares.
Certainly not this pair of nymphomanic mares!
We have the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy! Patent pending.
You're the ones best known for giving "happy endings"!
I wouldn't want so much as a massage, you rakes.
We have plenty of mares which we can choose to take!

We got bored and hit the spa. It was simply luxurious!
Now you'd best be prepared. It's time to get serious!
We want the best for our clients. We strive ever higher.
Your raps are tainted. Just like your cider!
When it comes to serving others, we are no strangers.
Everypony knows all about your machine's dangers!
We have many loyal customers, to which we give many thanks.
Oh, and you don't think we noticed when you checked out our flanks?

Well, you see, dear mares, we can't help who you attract.
You won't get us, though. As it is, you're too flat!
We aren't talking about your rumps. Though it might make you sore.
We mean that on the show, we're the ones that spoke more!

You two really think we'll lose due to lack of screen time?
You forget, we aren't the ones who tried to sell slime!
We know you dislike the cards you've been dealt by fate.
It's clear your big machine is how you compensate!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Vinyl turned to see a yellow pegasus sitting next to her, staring up into the sky intently. " ... Fluttershy, why are you back here?"

She jumped, turning to the DJ with a sheepish smile. " ... oh ... um ... I wanted to see who you were talking to ... I'm sorry ... "

Rap Battle #1: Results and Aftermath

Vinyl sat in a chair at Sugar Cube Corner, quietly sipping at her lemonade. For some reason, it helped lessen her headaches, which seemed to be happening more and more often. She glanced up, seeing a cyan pegasus mere inches away. She calmly placed her cup down and readjusted her glasses. "Can I help you, Dashie?"

"Yeah. You can tell me who won!" Obviously impatient, she slammed her hooves onto the table. "I made a wager with Applejack that I'd win, and I don't have the bits to pay if I lost!" She paused for a moment, confused. " ... who decides the winner, anyways?"

Vinyl grinned, lowering her glasses. "Trust me, your sanity probably couldn't take it." She pulled out her phone, using her magic to press the buttons. "...okay, so it seems that-"

"Vinyl, what is that?" Rainbow pointed at the cell phone, confused. To her, it looked like a box with light coming out of it.

She waved her hoof, laughing a bit. "Don't worry about it!" She turned back to her phone, reading her messages. "Anyways, it turns out that..." She turned away, smirking softly. " ... pause for dramatic effect ... "

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "That's my line, goofball."

"Do you want me to tell you or not?"

" ... I'll be quiet ... "

"Anyways ... " Vinyl pointed a hoof at the pegasus, grinning. " ... you won. But just barely."

"YES!" Rainbow leaped in excitement, landing on her back hooves. "Now Twi has to erase everypony's memories of those photos!" She pumped her hoof in the air in celebration.

" ... oh? What photos?" Vinyl tilted her head, curious. "And I thought you made the bet with Applejack?"

Rainbow blushed brightly, rubbing the back of her head. " ... nothing ... forget I said anything!" She flew off towards the library to cash in on her win.

The white unicorn sighed, glancing around nervously. " ... I hope she's not working today ... " She started slightly when a magenta wave suddenly hurtled towards her. She closed her eyes, but nothing happened to her. Cracking one open, she saw that everything looked the same. She pondered this for a moment, but shrugged it off as a normal day in Ponyville. She picked her lemonade back up, drinking it with utmost satisfaction.

Okay, so I'm putting this up for about a day. I want to know whether or not I should do this for each rap battle thingy.

Oh, and it really was close: just one vote separated them from getting a tie.

In other news, I have the story behind the next battle done. I just need to find a good opening line to get the rap ball rolling...

Oh, and I decided who the next pairing is going to be. Thus the reason behind the part above. ^^;

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #3: Results and Aftermath

Vinyl wandered the streets for a while, singing along to her tunes. "I could stay awake just to hear you breathin'. Watch you smile-"

She was interrupted, knocked on her back as two tan unicorns with panicked expressions on their faces ran into her at full speed, causing her glasses and earbuds to go flying. Before she could confront them, they ran off, being chased by a group of ponies. Ponies who all had the same green shade of fur. She blinked, wondering what that was about. Deciding it was probably none of her business, she shrugged, picking up her earbuds and shades, continuing to wander aimlessly.

Eventually, though, two familiar ponies walked up to her. Putting on her best smile, she nodded to them, taking out one of her earbuds. "Aloe, Lotus. How are you two doing?"

"It's perfect!" Aloe grinned, placing a hoof on her sister's shoulder. "We got to keep our spa!"

Vinyl blinked, surprised. "You found out you won? Who told you?" She pulled out her phone, checking to see who was running the vote system so she could give them a piece of her mind for revealing the winners. That was her job. Hers!

They stared at her, confused. Lotus spoke up this time. "Flim and Flam's machine made everypony they used it on to turn green. They just got chased out of town." She turned to her sister, who was perfectly green from the tip of her nose to the tip of her tail. Vinyl lifted her glasses up, surprised she didn't notice it before. "I told her not to let them use that machine on her."

"I had no idea it would do this! But, more importantly ... " Aloe leaped forward, grabbing the white unicorn by the shoulders and shaking her rapidly. " ... we won? Seriously?" To say that she was beaming would be an understatement. Her smile could compete with Pinkie's in the sheer joy it contained.

Vinyl let the now-green mare calm down, not because she needed to, but because she needed to make the square stop spinning. "Yes, you had all but three votes, the last time I checked." She cleared her throat and walked off, leaving the twins to celebrate by themselves - however they went about doing that.

The last thing she heard from them was "Let's go find Lucky! He'll be happy to know this!"

Later that day, Vinyl was preparing for the rave in the meadow, packing multiple records and her turntables into a couple cases.

As she was about to leave, there was a loud boom outside, followed by the pitter-patter of rain on the roof. " ... no ... " She rushed to her front door and opened it. Rain and cold wind immediately greeted her.

"What the hoof, Enigma!? I was looking forward to this rave!" She slammed the door shut and groaned, flopping down on the couch. "I guess it'll have to be cancelled. I can't use my equipment in the rain ... "

At that moment, there was a loud knock on the door, followed by a steady stream of smaller ones. Vinyl rolled her eyes, getting back up and opening it once more.

A pink mare jumped inside and tackle-hugged the unicorn, somehow dry despite the rain. "Hiya! The author said that they couldn't really describe a rave, so you're going to be playing at a party in Sugar Cube Corner! Of course, he's probably going to skip it in the next chapter, but that's to be expected! Anyways, there's going to be cider and cupcakes, and lots of party rocking!" She sat up, holding her hooves up in a pleading manner. "Please? It'll be lots and lots of fun!"

Vinyl considered this for a moment before breaking out in a smile. " ... who am I to say no to party rocking? I'd love to, Pinkie!" She grabbed her equipment and followed her friend, excited at what was going to happen next.

Yeah, so I had this ready for a while now. Like, five hours. ;P Don't worry, the second part of this chapter is important to the plot ... in a way.

Anyways, I'll have to skip the party. Sorry. ^^; But the next battle (which is also finished) should help make up for that! :3

Oh, and the song Vinyl's singing this time is "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith (or, in her world, Cloudsmith). Hope you enjoy!

T.G.I.F., am I right? :D

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #4

Vinyl was calmly sleeping in her room. She was dreaming of a full dance floor at one of her raves. And, for some reason, a group of butterflies flitting over the crowd. In her dream, she found herself being drawn closer and closer to a red stallion ...

She was abruptly pulled back into the waking world by a loud slam. She sat up groggily, opening her eyes to find herself staring into the purple eyes of her best friend. Scratch grinned widely, reaching over to her bedside table to grab her glasses. "Hey, roomie. What's up?"

She jumped, surprised when the earth pony swiped her shades. Confused, she looked up at her friend's face, which was currently contorted into a look of rage.

" ... you ... destroyed ... my cello! AGAIN!" She was seething as she ground Vinyl's glasses between her hooves. "That's the fifth one this month!"

Vinyl was horrified. Her one-of-a-kind shades were on the verge of being shattered! "Calm down, Octy. And hand over the shades. Carefully."

"I HATE THAT NICKNAME!" Octavia chucked the frames at Vinyl's head. "It makes me sound like some kind of fish!"

Vinyl caught her glasses with her magic before that last sentence sank in. She quickly found herself daydreaming about an octavipus. She shook her head to clear it of that image before responding. "Look. It was an accident."

"Really!" She pulled a cover off the lumpy shape next to her, revealing a pile of wood that could've been mistaken as charcoal, had it not been for the strings poking out of it. "You break it apart and set it on fire, then have the gall to say it was an accident!"

Vinyl rubbed the sides of her head, currently reeling from the consequences of party rocking last night. All of this yelling was just making her migraine worse. She gave her roommate a small, weak smile, embarrassed. " ... what can I say? It was one crazy night ... "

"THAT'S IT!" Octavia stomped the floor with a hoof, scowling. "I want one of those duels you've started doing!"

The white unicorn stared at her with a blank expression for ten seconds. "You want a rap battle?"

The grey mare put a hoof on her chin, momentarily ponderous. " ... so that's what they're called ... " She broke from her train of thought, determined. "Yes. I do. If I win, you stop hosting those ... raves, or whatever it is you call them. If you win ... I promise to come to your 'gigs'. Do we have a deal?"

She rolled her eyes, groaning in annoyance. "Even if I wanted to do this, I can't. Who would DJ for us?"

"Pinkie?"

"No." Vinyl frowned. "The last time I let her near my table, I found frosting under the records. I don't want her touching my precious turntables."

"Well find somepony you trust to do it. Otherwise ... " She glanced around the room, searching for something. Her eyes fell on a collection of records in the corner. She picked one up, a dead-serious look on her face. " ... I sell this."

Vinyl's jaw dropped, staring at the winged circle logo on the front of the cover. "Not my Cloudsmith album! It's the last one ever!"

"Then find somepony to DJ our rap battle!" She turned and left, the fragile disc held firmly in her teeth.

After a day of searching, considering and narrowing down choices, Vinyl showed up at the town square. Octavia was already there, reading a book of rhymes, and, behind her, stood her stand-in DJ, looking at the turntables in slight confusion.

She walked up to the yellow pegasus, smiling kindly. "You sure you can handle this job?"

She looked up at Vinyl, smiling softly. " ... I think so ... um ... I'd like an explanation ... if it's not too much to ask, I mean ... "

Vinyl nodded, explaining how the tables worked and what she was supposed to do.

She nodded, practicing for a few moments. "I think I have it ... oh ... and I'll be sure not to damage it ... "

Vinyl grinned, patting a hoof on the shy pony's back. "Thanks, 'Shy. I appreciate it!" She grabbed the microphones and handed one to Octavia.

Fluttershy put on the headset, watching as her unicorn friend turned the volume up to compensate for her quiet voice. She cleared her throat and, starting the music, turned the mike's mute off.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

... UM ... I MEAN ... IF YOU WANT TO ...

You have the gall to take your name from records
When you dishonor their class with your constant discord.
True artists can create their own musical repertoire.
You got famous by using the songs of real stars!
You keep everypony up with your stupid Sweet Emotion.
I'm sick of you, your noise and your inane inventions!
Stringed instruments are the soul of your precious tunes.
My brand of classy rhymes will bring your doom!

I suppose that's an acceptable first attempt, Octy.
Though it pales against the mad skills of DJ P0N-3!
You think you're great since you can pluck strings to make sound?
I'll take your cello Bitback and Burn It to the Ground!
I guess your music could be worth a few bits -
If I bound it to Styx and gave it a little Kiss.
I'll take you to the mountain with the power of rock,
Then use my dubstep dishwasher to clean your clock!

I'll seal your stupid flank into the Mountain King's hall,
Then sing an Ode to Joy as your fan's numbers fall.
You're high if you think that you can beat me, hun.
I'll blow you away like I'm your bass cannon!

You think it's my career on which the sun is setting?
Don't forget who the princess asked to play at the wedding.
Your music's in its twilight. My epic wubs are all the rage!
So just turn yourself around and get the hoof off my stage.

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

... UM ... IF IT'S NOT A PROBLEM, OF COURSE...

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Okay, the next battle is finally out! It's been ready for about three days, but I had to finish the Aftermaths before I could post it.

If Octavia's rap seemed off, it's because this is her first time rapping. Just saying.

The voting will end when the next battle is decided upon (which will probably be about a day or so) and completed! So, probably about a week or so, total.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #4: Results and Aftermath

Fluttershy trot through the park, glancing back nervously at the group of ponies following her. " ... um ... what are you girls doing? If you don't mind me asking, I mean ... " She squeaked in surprise and fear as a machine was shoved in front of her.

"Don't mind us, Fluttershy! We're just here to make a video featuring DJ TR33, the newest up-and-coming musician of Ponyville!" The orange filly poked her head out from behind the video camera, patting it with a hoof. "Neat, huh? Vinyl lent it to us!" She paused, bringing the same hoof up to her chin, lost in thought. "She said something about having it for music videos. I forget."

Fluttershy glanced around, worried. " ... where is Vinyl, anyways? I thought we were going to meet here with Octavia ... "

"Oh, she left town." The white unicorn filly said, putting down her microphone. "Apparently, Octavia gave away something important to her on accident."

On a mountain fifty miles away from Ponyville, a different white unicorn sneezed. She pulled her scarf tighter around herself, climbing higher and higher. " ... can't believe Octy ... gave my Cloudsmith record away ... don't worry, my precious ... I won't let anyone hurt you!"

She stopped at a ledge, a group of fifteen snow-beasts in her way. "This hardly seems fair." She smirked, getting into a fighting stance. "You shoulda brought more!" She leapt at them, a hoof reared back to strike. "AW, YEAH!"

Fluttershy frowned, upset. " ... oh ... well that's not good ... " She looked up, and seeing a grey mare approaching, quickly turned to the three fillies. "I'm sorry, girls, but I need to talk to somebu-" She blushed, shaking her head. "Excuse me, somepony. Maybe you can interview Pinkie? I'm sure she'd like that ... "

The trio grinned at each other, nodding simultaneously. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS INTERVIEWERS, YAY!" They galloped off, the yellow one calling over her shoulder at Fluttershy. "See ya later, DJ TR33!"

Fluttershy thought for a moment, pondering what they said. " ... I'd like to be a TR33." Smiling at that thought, she slowly approached the other mare.

The earth pony looked up at Fluttershy, a sheepish smile on her face. "My apologies. I didn't expect that it would take such a long time to acquire another cello."

"Oh, it's no problem at all." She lift up the flap of her saddlebag with her wing, pulling out a familiar black box. "Would you like to hear the results?"

Octavia stared at the device for a few moments. "Pardon me for asking, but how are you going to use that? Vinyl always used her magic."

The white unicorn sneezed once more, beginning to wonder if she was getting a cold. Looking down at the pile of snow trolls underhoof, she questioned the leader. "You don't know where my Cloudsmith album is?"

It shook its head, eyes wide in fear of the unicorn in front of it.

She sighed, jumping off the troll pile. "Next stop, the Mammoth Fields..."

Fluttershy smiled, wiggling the tips of her wings. "I'll use it with these, of course." She then proceeded to press buttons with a deftness that would impress most video gamers. Looking at the screen, she tilted her head, confused. "...this is odd...why are they pitting ponies against each other? That doesn't seem very-"

"Fluttershy." The yellow pegasus glanced up at her friend, who looked like she was straining herself holding something inside. "Please just tell me who won."

" ... oh ... um ... okay ... " Fluttershy flicked the screen repeatedly, eyes wide in surprise, keeping tally in her mind. " ... wow ... that's a lot of votes ... " Eventually, she reached the end. She nervously turned to the mare. " ... you ... "

Octavia leaped up in joy, forgetting herself momentarily. "YES! No more having to buy new cellos!"

" ... ah ... um... y-you didn't let me finish ... " She waited for her friend to calm down before continuing. " ... you ... tried your best ... but ... " Seeing the look of horror on her face, she quickly became panicked. "I-it's not your fault! Vinyl's just more experienced, and it was your first time!"

Octavia sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. " ... I can already feel the jostling ... " She sighed. "A deal's a deal." She turned and, giving the pegasus a wave, walked back to their shared apartment.

Fluttershy sighed, glad that was over. Suddenly a blur of white and green raced past her. Blinking, she looked after them, recognizing the bunny, as well as the creature currently clamped onto one of his ears. "Gummy! Please, why are you biting Angel bunny?" She chased after them, worried something bad would happen.

So yeah. Vinyl got approximately two-thirds of the votes. Also, working on two raps at once. So it may take a while.

On a different note, the first one to name all the references in the last chapter (as well as this one, if you'd like bonus points) will be given the chance to choose the sixth battle. (Don't assume you got them all. I can be very discrete when I want to. ;3 Oh, and I'm trying not to do repeats.)

I guess that's all I need to say. So I say...hey! Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #5

Vinyl entered Ponyville, having been gone for only a day, and not having a single scratch on her body. She held her precious record in the air with her magic, shaking her head in annoyance. "How the hoof did my Cloudsmith album get in the hands of the forsworn, anyways?" She sighed, walking to the square. "I still can't believe Octy gave it away ... "

A kick to the side sent her flying into a nearby building before she fell to the ground. Slightly dazed, she looked up, seeing the mare in question standing over her, glaring down at her. "I. Hate. That. Nickname." She closed her eyes for a few seconds, a relieved expression forming on her face. "I'm glad you're alright." She hugged her roommate before noticing the ring on the ground nearby. " ... what's that?"

Vinyl turned to the ring, picking it up and examining it. It was solid gold, and seemed to have a few etchings on the inside. She couldn't really read it, since it seemed to be in a foreign language. She shrugged and threw it away behind her, not really one for rings. "Don't know, don't care. I need to get my precious back home ASAP." She trot away, Octavia close behind.

Had they taken the time to glance back, they would've seen the ring land on a brown unicorn's horn - right before she vanished.

As they turned the corner onto the road where they lived, they saw a confusing spectacle. In front of their house, Fluttershy was trying to keep a white rabbit from attacking a green lizard. When she saw her friends approaching, she let out a sigh of relief, motioning towards them.

As soon as the bunny saw them, he raced over and started making fierce gestures with his small paws. At one point he even pulled out a microphone and held it up to his mouth.

Octavia and Vinyl watched him for a few minutes before the earth pony spoke up. " ... pardon me, but I don't think I understand."

The DJ smiled, understanding exactly what was going on. She lowered herself down to his level, gently petting his head. "Sorry, Angel. I don't think that would work...you can't exactly talk."

" ... um ... that's not entirely true ... " The duo turned to Fluttershy in shock, their sudden movement startling her. " ... you see, they can talk ... we just can't hear them ... "

Octavia raised an eyebrow, skeptical. "And you know this how?"

Fluttershy then proceeded to tell them about the time she was turned into a bunny. Though, in all fairness, she did leave a few details out, not wanting to ruin Angel's reputation.

Vinyl rubbed her chin with a hoof, pondering this. " ... I think I know what we can do. Just let me go talk to somepony real quick." She took the microphone - and Angel - and raced off towards a large tree in the middle of town, smiling brightly as the idea filled her mind, ignoring the rabbit's feeble attempts to escape her magical field.

Octavia rolled her eyes, picking up the forgotten record and carrying it inside. Once she set it down, she invited Fluttershy in for some tea while they waited for the unicorn to return.

Later that day, the trio of friends were on the stage once more. This time, though, they were all behind the turntables, watching as the bunny and alligator glared at each other. Well, the bunny was glaring; the baby reptile seemed to be staring at nothing. The crowd that had formed was now staring at the scene in silence.

Oddly enough, it was a grey pegasus that spoke the question on everyone's mind. "This isn't some kind of joke, is it?"

Vinyl was about to answer, but Angel held up a paw to silence her. He turned to the mare, carefully adjusting his headset. "Does this answer yer question, wall-eyes?" The crowd gasped, backing away from the bunny in terror. "What, ya never seen a talkin' bunny before?" Not really expecting an answer, he was surprised that they shook their heads. He facepawed, groaning a bit. "It was a rhetorical question, wise guys." He glanced at Fluttershy, about to say something regarding the ponies' ridiculous reaction. But that was when he noticed her disapproving stare and shrugged his shoulders in response. "Eh, forget about it."

The crowd, as well as everyone onstage, turned to Gummy, wondering if he had anything to say or if he was, in fact, capable of speaking.

All the alligator did was continue to stare blankly at the sky, not paying attention to anything.

The DJ pony cleared her throat, getting everyone's attention. She started the music, a smile growing on her face as she began to get back into her "entertainer" mode.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

Let's call this meeting to order! We've got a new Big Job -
Specifically, taking down this scaly green slob!
You can't hold a conversation that makes a lick of sense,
'Specially when you're spacing out every other sentence.
No bark, no bite. Look out, I'm on the mic. That's right.
My raps are tight, all night, your frail mind's taken flight.
Repetitive and easily distracted; that not how a gator should behave.
Now move aside, Gums, and let me get back to my cave!

The tyrant and the philosopher; the brawn and the brains.
See me keep it cool as your strength and courage wanes?
Your plans all fall apart at the last minute; such a pity.
Though you deserve it for enslaving an entire underground city!
I've got no teeth, but you're the one who bit off more than he can chew.
Taking me down won't be as simple as stealing somebunny's food.
I've got both eyes on you; I'm ready, no matter what you try.
I suggest you leave this stage and crawl on back to Fluttershy!

I see through your facade; I'm winning and you can't bear it.
My rhymes are all golden. Twenty-four carrot!
Zapping you like lightning - you'll end up just like Jim.
Form a pool of your remains in which everybunny can swim!

An angel being a devil; thought I'd never see the day,
But now I'm a tax collector, and it's time for you to pay!
You call yourself the Capo, but you're just a jumpy grump.
Pinkie is planning a parade, 'cause I just triumphed!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Vinyl glanced to her left, confused. Sitting there was a mint-green unicorn, scribbling something in her journal. " ... what are you doing?"

She blinked, looking at the DJ. Chuckling nervously, she discretely put her journal into her saddlebag, waving a hoof dismissively. "Nothing! Certainly not catching a glimpse of a different species!" She glanced around, slowly backing away with a sheepish smile on her face. " ... I think I hear my laundry calling. Gotta go!" She ran off, leaving a very confused white unicorn behind.

... is it me, or are these chapters getting longer and longer?

It doesn't matter. I finished another battle! /)^3^(\

The next battle is open to suggestions from everypony!

Oh, and if you don't know why Fluttershy was once a rabbit ... you haven't read one of the best stories on the site. =^w^=

That's all I need to say ... so I guess that's-

AW YEAH! I JUST BROKE THE FOURTH WALL!

... Vinyl ... get back in the story. You're a key character! And stop breaking those so blatantly! They're expensive, and, frankly, Derpy is less destructive than you right now!

"... that was a low blow, dude."

... good, she's back in the story. Now ... having the time to think clearly ...

WHY THE HOOF DID I SEND HER BACK!?

... I need time to think right now...

Enigma out.

Rap Battle #5: Results and Aftermath

Vinyl sighed, slowly sinking into the comfy cushions of her couch. She had a rough day today, and this was supposed to be her "me time".

Regretfully, she couldn't relax. Something was bothering her, but she couldn't put her hoof on it. She recalled all the times she thought she noticed something off, but, when she tried to look at it, she couldn't see anything out of place. It was a little unnerving, to be honest.

She finally just got up and walked into the kitchen, muttering to herself. "...a snack should help me sleep better..." She yawned, opening the door to the pantry.

Something leaped at her face, glomping onto it tightly. It took her a few moments to register this fact before she yelled out, falling flat on her back and flailing her hooves around.

"Silly Gummy! That's not how you hug somepony!" The weight on her face was swiftly removed, leaving Vinyl staring up at her friends in confusion.

"...why was Gummy in the cabinet?"

"He was searching for his victory cake!" Pinkie giggled, leaning close to Vinyl's ear and whispering to her. "I'm hiding it until the parade. He deserves it!" She pulled back, suddenly thoughtful. "Gummy did win, right?"

At that moment, Fluttershy walked in. Angel was on her back, glaring daggers at Gummy. The gator, of course, was ignorant of the death glare directed at him, probably lost in his thoughts again.

Of course. Because I can't say who won without both participants here. Fumbling for her phone, she pulled it out and counted the votes.

After about five minutes (it surprised Vinyl how many votes there were), she put it away, turning to the four friends gathered there. "The winner is Gummy."

Angel slumped, upset. Before anyone could say anything, he leaped over to Gummy, holding his ear out to the gator.

Without any hesitation, he bit down on the bunny's ear, making Fluttershy gasp in shock. Angel, for his part, took it without flinching.

Pinkie didn't seem to be bothered, either, hugging Vinyl tightly. "This is great! Two wins for Team Pie!" She grabbed both ponies, rushing them out the door to plan a victory party after the parade.

As soon as they were gone, Gummy muttered to the bunny in his grip, not letting go. "Remember, you still have two more favors after this."

Angel groaned, rolling his eyes. "I know, Gums. You don't have to remind me. After all, it was my idea."

Gummy won with over two times the number of votes as Angel. I guess viciousness has nothing over technique.

Oh, and I forgot who all I allowed to see the raps beforehand. ^^; If you're one of them, please PM me. The next battle is finally ready! :D

AW, YEAH! IT'S TWO FAN FAVORITES!

Oh, and Vinyl broke the fourth wall again. Pardon me while I give her a little chat.

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #6

Vinyl found herself on the lawn in front of Sugar Cube Corner. Getting up with a groan, she glanced around, wondering what happened last night.

The first thing she noticed was the flamingos in a pool across the street. She stared blearily at them before deciding that she was imagining them. Surely nopony would actually bring five bright pink flamingoes into town and let them roam free...right?

Besides, last night wasn't Friday.

She stumbled into the store, hoping somepony could explain just what went down. Sadly, it looked like no one was there, save for two ponies. She trot over to them, grabbing a glass of water on the way to help with her mild headache. "Hey, dudes. What's up?"

The ponies stopped their conversation, turning to look at Vinyl. The grey pegasus rushed up, tears in her eyes. "Please, you have to help!"

She blinked, surprised and a little concerned. "What's wrong, Derpy?"

She frowned slightly, muttering to herself. "My name's Ditzy..." She shook her head, looking at the white unicorn with her one good eye. "I want a rap battle! This pony" she motioned to the green unicorn behind her, "stole the last muffin!"

She glared at Ditzy. "I bought it! And I'm not 'this pony'. My name is Lyra!"

"Liar!" The pegasus leaped at Lyra, but was caught in a blue glow.

Vinyl rubbed the side of her head, her headache getting worse from the strain of holding Ditzy back. "Let's just...get this over with, okay?" Ponies wanting a rap battle for the silliest of reasons...what the hay is going on here?

Soon enough, everypony was gathered at the town square once more. Ditzy was sitting on the stage, attempting to put her headset on. Eventually, a brown earth pony came and helped her. Across the stage, Lyra was ready, though she seemed bored.

Vinyl rolled her eyes, beginning the music as soon as the pegasus finally was ready. Slipping into character, she began to smile widely.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

...ER...

VS.

BEGIN!

I just don't know what went wrong!
The few things less appealing than your face are your songs!
You're a freak, you geek. Don't be so plucky.
Why, just last week, Bon-Bon left you for Lucky!
Believe it or not, everypony wants my muffin.
No one wants you. You've got nothin'!
Swag is something of which I have a surplus.
I'll strike you down with lightning - this time on purpose!

Look out, folks - it's Derpy! That pony's too clumsy.
How you didn't get locked up before is beyond me.
You got a dull gray coat and a dumb blond mane.
It's no wonder you got cut - you're bucking lame!
The bubbles on your flank don't show your skills.
They say you got a brain that might just kill!
No matter what you do, you ruin everypony's plans.
Look out, Derpy! I'll beat you with my TK hands!

Hands? Are you talking 'bout those dumb myths, again?
You're crazier than Screwloose, believing in humans!
I can beat you anywhere, from the ground up.
Let's face it, Lyra - it's your Last Roundup!

I suppose the voice of my lyre will do.
I don't need to waste my breath on a loser like you!
I'm not insane. Humans are true, by Luna's word!
More so than some time machine and its Lord!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

I know it seems odd for these two to be fighting, but it all will be explained later on. ^^ Trust me.

Also, I apologize for the relatively short chapter. And if the title cards are causing anypony trouble, please, let me know!

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #6: Results and Aftermath

Vinyl sat down in the cafe, looking across at the four ponies sitting there. She couldn't help but feel the awkwardness in the air as the two sides stared at each other. ...is that even a word?

"Pardon me, Miss Scratch," the tan-colored stallion spoke, raising a hoof in the air, "when will we find out the results of the...rap battle, was it?"

Vinyl grinned, trying hard not to laugh at that strange accent of his. A posh accent for an earth pony. What's up with that? "I just got here, Turner. And I think we're missing somepony."

The mint-green mare turned to the cream-colored mare next to her, covering her mouth with a hoof. "That's the one. She keeps insisting that he's a Time Lord, or something like that."

The earth pony shook her head, giving her friend a look that could whither flowers. "Stop that, Lyra." She turned to the grey pegasus next to her, smiling politely. "Isn't your sister supposed to be here, Ditzy?"

She rolled her eyes, resting her head against her hoof. "She's always late. As for the results...it doesn't really matter if she's here or not." She chomped on her muffin, huffing slightly in annoyance.

"I'm here!" They all turned to look just as a grey mass of fur and feathers crashed into the table next to theirs. The dazed pegasus carefully got up, a goofy grin on her face. "My bad!" She sat down on a bale of hay next to the other pegasus, grabbing the muffin left there on the table for her. She took a bite and gushed at the flavor. "Oh my gosh, blueberry, my favorite!" She squealed in happiness and ate the rest of it in in one gulp. "Anyways, I got lost. Fluttershy's cottage is quite a ways away, after all."

Ditzy smiled softly at her sister, hugging her slightly lighter-colored sister softly. "It's alright, Derps. I'm glad you're here." She couldn't stay mad at her. She was just too adorable!

Vinyl coughed softly, catching everypony's attention. "If I may?" She quickly pressed the buttons on her phone, pulling up the screen and counting the votes. "...interesting. There were votes for Derpy, even though she didn't participate..."

"Actually..." The first grey pegasus mare rubbed the back of her head, embarrassed. "She did it for me. I can't rap."

"...o...kay, then..." Vinyl cleared her throat and continued her monologue. "Anyways, Derpy got the most votes."

Lyra smacked her head on the table, upset. "...oh, curse it to Tartarus..." She stood up and trot over to a house that appeared to be made of candy. Only Turner watched her, confused.

The cream-colored mare smiled at them, nodding slightly. "Congrats, you two."

Derpy and Ditzy grabbed the tan stallion, hugging him tightly in their excitement. He was starting to have a little trouble breathing from their squeezing. He sighed, returning the hug. "...am I the only one who is curious about what Lyra's doing?"

A drop of something brown hit his nose. Looking up, he began to panic, seeing the bright pink clouds drifting in. "...uh oh..."

My headcanon is a bit wonky. Ditzy and Derpy are twins. And, yes, the tan stallion is the Doctor. If you're confused as to why she referred to him as "Turner", it's something regarding the Doctor Who series.

By the way, does anyone know a good background to use for the title cards in my blog post that aren't done yet? Also, still requesting beats, as FLStudio is being a total jerk and not letting me translate the beats to music.

Oh, and the next rap is taking longer than I thought. I'm not entirely sure when it'll be up, but I hope it's sooner rather than later!

Feel free to talk amongst yourselves over who the next battle will involve.

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #7

In the Palace Gardens, a statue stood, a creature formed from the parts of various others. It was captured in the oddest way, its every feature expressing a state of panic.

A guard approached it, smirking slightly. It wasn't that scary, not even in the light of the full moon. "Discord. What a joke. He didn't even have a good sense of humor." He walked around the statue as the talked, before noticing something odd. "...that fang's on the wrong side of his face...what's going on here?"

He tapped the stone tooth, curious. He leaped back as the statue fell to the ground, but didn't shatter. "...he's loose..." In horror, he tripped over himself before running straight to the princesses. "HE'S LOOSE!"

Lyra came out of the store, her back piled high with muffins. "Here's the fifty muffins you-" She quickly realized she was being ignored. "Hey, Ditzy, Derpy! The least you could do is-"

The muffins sprouted arms and legs, jumping off the unicorn's back and attacking Ditzy, effectively burying her. Derpy quickly leaped into the pile, eating the muffins as she went.

The mint-green mare stared at the events in front of her, confused. "...just what is going on around here!?"

"Ah, I do enjoy chaos, don't you?"

They all turned to the voice, half of them stunned to see Discord standing there, eating a watermelon and spitting out balloons. The other half were staring at him, not trusting him to stay his distance. Vinyl, for her part, muttered a few choice words about a writer and lack of creativity.

The god of chaos turned to Vinyl, a grin on his face. "I should thank you, Miss Scratch." She gave him a confused stare, but continued before she could talk. "If it weren't for your rap battles, I don't think I would have ever gotten out."

"DISCORD!"

He grinned even wider, turning around, arms wide. "Why, it's nice to see-" He blinked, seeing a large, dark sapphire mare instead of the white one he was expecting. "...you. Hello, Luna."

She glared daggers at him, landing on the ground before poking him in the chest with her hoof. "You know you don't belong here any more. Nopony likes your chaos, save for that Screwball mare. You should've stayed a statue!"

"My dear Luna, you offend me! I demand the chance to defend my honor!" He turned back to Vinyl, his smile slowly returning. "And I know just the way I will do so."

Vinyl sat for a moment behind her turntables, staring at the two powerful beings on her stage. They had been handed mics. Luna kept fiddling with hers, since it kept bopping her in the nose when she moved. Finally having enough, she tossed it back to the DJ and picked up a wireless headset, putting it on and feeling much more relaxed.

In the front of the audience, a small colt stood, staring up at the princess with a starstruck expression in his eyes. "Go, Luna! You can do it!"

Discord, on the other hand, was relaxing on a cloud of cotton candy. From somewhere in the audience, a voice could be heard cheering his name. He waved a hand sedately at the pink pony with the beanie cap.

Vinyl shook her head, wondering just how she got roped into this. Giving a small sigh, she started up the music. As it began, she couldn't help but give a small smirk, wondering just how this battle would turn out.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

Mission begin! This is bound to be a cinch.
Far easier than beating on a sentry with a wrench.
I'll Fus-Ro-Dah on your flank like the Dovahkiin
Give you Amnesia - scare you right out of your skin!
You think you're so great with your chocolate rain?
Please! You wouldn't know humor if it pierced your stupid brain!
I'm the one who's gonna win. I mean, really, there's no contest!
I struck fear in ponies' hearts. All you did was make a mess.

My dear Luna, you should really spend less time on Steam.
If you think you can beat me, you're living a dream.
You've lost sight of what's real and what's illusion.
After a thousand years away, you choose to be in seclusion!
Your raps are so weak, they even make Tom seem to live.
Take your abacus and count the flying feathers I give.
Even for you, it should be easy, as the answer is none.
You'll be crying for your sister by the time that I'm done.

WE CONTROL ALL OF THE BODIES IN SPACE.
WE COULD TAKE THE MOON AND CRASH IT ON YOUR FACE.
OR RAIN METEORS ON TOP OF YOU INSTEAD.
EITHER WAY, DISCORD, YOU'D BEST WATCH YOUR HEAD!

Your power's worthless when I can poof threats away.
I become stronger with every word you say!
You made the night sky but you envy the day.
Just take a trip to the moon, girl - have a nice stay.

PRINCESS LUNA HAS BEEN BANISHED TO THE MOON!

SHE CAN'T CONTINUE THE BATTLE, SO -

WHAT'S THIS? THE SUN IS RISING EARLY!?

NO, WAIT! THAT'S NOT THE SUN! IT'S...IT'S-

Discord, if what you say is indeed true
I'll just love and tolerate the fight out of you.
You enjoy a good laugh, as do I, my dear.
But you need to kick your pranks into high gear.
Dancing buffalo just aren't cutting it, Dis.
I'm sure Screwball has some good ideas for us.
I rather agree that some fun needs to be had
But not from somepony who never had a dad.
Don't speak, my friend. I know just how you'll reply.
After all, you're a figment of my mind - you can't deny.
My goodness, what's wrong? You look rather weak, hun.
Grab your shades - I got you a room on the sun.

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Author's Note

I hope you all enjoyed this! It took quite a while to make, and Discord wasn't exactly being helpful...

Anyways, yeah, my headcanon for Luna is that she's a hardcore gamer. Yes, all of the ponies and their raps are subject to strong influence by my headcanons. It's a fact of my story. ^w^

And a small note to everyone who wants to see a certain character or another. I will not do a character I don't have a title card for. If that confuses anyone, see this list. It also implores those who want a certain character to suggest a background for them so i can make it. >.> ... <.< My apologies. >.<;

"Did they enjoy our performance? We did our best!"

...oh my gosh, it's Luna...I'll be busy for a while...have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #7: Results and Aftermath

Vinyl sat in her house, nervous. Celestia was standing nearby, staring at the sun as if to make sure Discord didn't escape. Octavia and Fluttershy sat on the couch nearby, looking nervously between the princess and their DJ friend. Outside, it continued to rain chocolate milk out of cotton candy clouds.

Finally, the silence was broken, by Celestia, no less. "Who won? I need to know."

Vinyl coughed softly, pulling out her phone and counting the votes, not wanting to make the powerful pony wait longer than necessary. "...you and Luna won. She got most of the votes...though one of them voted for someone named 'Billy Mays'."

Celestia blinked, confused. "...who the hay is Billy Mays?" She frowned for a moment before shaking her head, looking up at the sun. "You heard them, Discord. You lost. Put everything back to normal!"

"Oh, where's the fun in that?" The sun dimmed down enough to show Discord's face, grinning at them. Celestia scowled at him, and he held up his mismatched forearms in defense. "Fine, fine. I'll undo everything I did." He snapped his talons, and the clouds immediately vanished. "Beware, though I returned everything to normal, I also moved what should be to where it shouldn't." With a laugh, he was gone, and the sun returned to it's original brightness.

Vinyl scratched her head, confused. "What do you suppose that means, OctaviAAA WHAT THE HOOF!?" She leaped out of her seat, looking to where her best friend was. Or rather, where she should've been.

Octavia had vanished.

Fluttershy huddled in the corner of the couch, scared that whatever happened to the earth pony would happen to her. Vinyl walked over and gently placed a hoof around her friend, trying to reassure her.

Celestia, for her part, raised her head. A small pulse left her horn, going through the entire town. She frowned, glancing out the window. "...Discord...you'd better not have harmed my subjects..." She turned to the two mares, a slightly-worried expression on her face. "All of the citizens of Ponyville have vanished. All but you two, Spike, and a few school-aged ponies." She stood up, gazing down on them. "I'm sorry to ask this, but you'll have to stay and watch them. I have to go find the others." She gently nuzzled their necks, sighing softly. "Be safe, my little ponies."

With that, she exited the building and flew off, her horn leading the way.

Vinyl and Fluttershy watched her go, before the former turned to her friend. "Do you feel like we're missing an epic adventure?" When the meek pegasus nodded, she sighed, removing her shades. "I thought so..." She walked off, calling over her shoulder. "Let's go find the young ones, 'Shy."

A few hours later, everyone was back at Vinyl's house. Vinyl and Fluttershy sat on the couch, looking out at the fillies and colts before them. They held cups of lemonade in their hooves. Vinyl had offered tea, but Fluttershy adamantly refused, which, to be honest, was unusual for her.

The room was crowded. Even so, there weren't that many ponies there.

A group of three were sitting together, speaking amongst themselves. The yellow one seemed to say something, and the other two blushed slightly. The white one chanced a glance at the other side of the room, where a small purple dragon and a purple-gray unicorn were talking.

The orange one got up and walked over to the kitchen, passing by a brown-spotted colt, who was chatting with a slender, tan pegasus. As soon as she was behind him, she looked over her shoulder, appearing to look at a record low on the wall.

In the corner furthest from the two mares, two earth pony fillies were gossiping. They could tell because they kept making not-so-subtle gestures at the other colts and fillies.

Everything was going pretty well, all things considered. Nopony was scared, nor did anyone purposely pick a fight with each other.

The white unicorn filly tentatively raised her hoof. "Miss Scratch?"

Vinyl smiled a bit, nodding at her. "Please, Sweetie, call me Vinyl! 'Miss Scratch' sounds so...formal." She frowned slightly, but caught herself before anyone saw it. She took a swig of her lemonade to hide her small slip-up.

Sweetie giggled. "Sure thing!" She cleared her throat and tried again.

"Vinyl, why do ponies do rap battles?"

Her mouthful of lemonade quickly made friends with the floor.

How many of you know where this is going? :3 If you do, then you know you have only the ponies present in the room for the next few battles.

Oh, and I added a couple more title cards to the list! :D And some names, since people were asking for them...and weren't pestering me to do them. ^^;

Anyways, hope you enjoy!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #8

Vinyl choked on her words and the remains of the sour liquid, seeing all of the fillies and colts staring at her. What am I supposed to say? They have the battles because they're angry at each other? She kept pondering this, even though her mouth moved of its own accord.

"Why do you ask? Have you seen one of them?"

Sweetie shook her head, frowning softly. "Not really. Rarity refused to let me see them. I heard she did one, herself, but she left me with Twilight that day..."

"I see. I guess that makes sense." She sighed softly, running a hoof through her hair. Of course, her mouth decided to take matters into its own hooves...er, lips, once more. "They do it for fun."

She mentally kicked herself. Why did I say that!? She glanced at Fluttershy, who suddenly took great interest in the feel of her fur against the couch.

Sweetie accepted it easily enough, as did a few of the others. However, Scootaloo stared skeptically at Vinyl.

"If that's the case, why do they say mean things about each other? Why did Twilight insult Rainbow Dash!?" She was seething at this point, on her hooves with her wings flared in annoyance.

Vinyl's eyes widened in her panic, which made her glad she was wearing shades. "It's because...um..."

"They get caught up in the moment." Everypony turned to Fluttershy, who squeaked at the sudden attention. "...t-they don't really mean what they say...in fact, I think Twilight apologized to Rainbow for saying false things about her afterwards..." When they continued to stare, she swirled her lemonade, pretending to be focused on how it looked.

Silence overtook the room as everypony stared at each other. The only one who wasn't looking around was the purple dragon, but that was because he was doodling a white unicorn on a piece of paper.

"I'd like to have a rap battle, then!"

They all turned to the spotted colt in surprise. Even the dragon stopped drawing to stare at him. Vinyl spoke up, a slight nervous tone to her voice. "Are you sure, Pipsqueak? I mean, you might not like how it goes..."

The young pony was undaunted by this reaction, standing up and walking towards the couch. "It sounds like fun!" He turned and pointed at the orange pegasus, smiling widely. "Come on, Scootaloo! Let's do it!"

She stared up at him in fear as well as an emotion Vinyl couldn't place. "Pip, you can't be serious. I've seen other rap battles." She gave him a small, pleading look.

Pipsqueak didn't notice this, though, spinning around to the older unicorn with a grin. "I'll be right back!" He raced off, leaving the ponies in the room to stare at the door.

Vinyl sighed, getting off the couch, albeit reluctantly. "I'll go get my turntables."

Vinyl set up her tables in the roomier basement, setting up some chairs for the others. Most of the others quickly took their seats, while Scootaloo stood up alone on stage, more nervous than she'd ever been in her life. She fiddled with her headset, wondering what was taking Pipsqueak so long.

Fluttershy appeared at the top of the stairs, calling down to Vinyl in her usual soft tone. "Pip's back."

Vinyl sighed in relief, glad he was alright. "Good. Send him down whenever he's ready."

Fluttershy disappeared for a moment before walking down and sitting up next to Vinyl. "...he...um..."

"AHOY, MATEYS!"

Pipsqueak leaped down the staircase, dressed in the pirate costume he wore last Nightmare Night. Scootaloo saw this and raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Pipsqueak the pirate, at your service!"

Everypony stared at him for a full ten seconds before Vinyl coughed to get his attention. "Pip, why are you wearing that?"

He grinned, brandishing his sword in his forehooves. "I did it for fun!" He laughed happily, turning to Scootaloo with a playful smile. "Are you ready, Scoots?"

The orange filly gulped, her cheeks turning just the faintest shade brighter. "Y-yeah."

Vinyl paused once more, wondering if she should be doing this, but shrugged, deciding that whatever the other mares didn't know wouldn't hurt them. So, getting into her entertaining mindset, she started the music, her grin growing wider as she did so.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

Ready the cannons, guys! Let's prepare to board!
This foal's about to taste the steel of my sword!
You're gonna face a might stronger than the Black Pearl.
Power so great, it survived the end of the world!
I heard you at the talent show - boy, you stank.
You need a bath, badly - go walk the plank!
Miss Scratch was right, this game's fun to play!
Hey, Scootaloo, are you feeling okay?

Sticks and stones can break one's bones
But my words alone will send you to Davy Jones!
I'll race circles around your pathetic rhymes
Then knock your flank about to pay for your crimes
Against rap. You'll spend time in the stinkin' brig
'Til you beg me to welcome you home, you little twig!
Sleep with one eye open and grip your pillow tight.
For I am your worst fears brought into the light!

Last Nightmare Night, Pinkie dressed up as a hen.
But let's face it Scoots - you're the real chicken!
There's nothing at all you can say to make me lose
Though there's plenty I can say to make you blow your fuse!

There's no way you'll best this filly of orange.
I cause so many sick fires, you're bound to be singed!
I don't know why I bother with this thick-headed colt.
You can't even tell when somepony likes you, ya dolt!

There was a moment of awkward silence as Scootaloo's face turned bright pink. "I-I gotta go." She raced off the stage, embarrassed that she just said that.

Pipsqueak just stared into space, stunned by what he just heard. "...what...?"

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Before you say anything, Pip started the battle thinking it was all in good fun. :3 And Scoots loves metal music.

Also, sorry, but I don't think I'll be writing what happens with everypony else (well, maybe what happens with Octavia). I'm not that great a writer of action sequences, in my own opinion, and I worry that I'll just wreck whatever awesomeness could come out of that. ^^; I'd only do it if the majority of people want me to. So feel free to use that story idea. ^w^ ♪~

I have so many ships, I don't think the harbor can hold them all. :p

I'm honestly surprised Scootaloo tried to rhyme something with 'orange'. :\

"What are you talking about? There are plenty of words that rhyme with 'orange'! It sounds just like 'door hinge', and hinge rhymes with fringe, singe, tinge, binge, cringe...um...okay, maybe not that many words. But still!"

...okay, then. Let's just call it a slant rhyme and leave it at that.

Finally, I may make changes to this chapter, later. I have an editor, but I just can't wait to get this chapter out. I dunno why. Maybe it's because Vinyl wants me to finally get to work on the next rap battle? ^^; Or maybe it's because Trixie and Diamond are arguing...and before you ask, no, those two are not rapping against each other. e_e Sheesh.

I think that's all, for now. Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #8: Results and Aftermath

Vinyl was resting in her bedroom, indulging in something she only did on special occasions - reading a book. She would never admit it, but she loved science fiction. Think about it - a machine that could travel through space and time! Who wouldn't like to have something like that?

She paused in the middle of turning a page, feeling eyes on her. Glancing up, she realized her suspicions were correct; the fillies and colts were all gathered around her. With a small sigh, she closed her book and smiled at them. "How may I help you?"

"You know how." The brash pegasus jumped onto the bed, pulling her (former) opponent up with her. "Tell us who won! I know that strange device you have tells you!"

Vinyl rolled her eyes, reaching over to her bedstand to grab her cell phone. "Fine. Let me get my-" She blinked, feeling the top of the small piece of furniture for a few more moments, a stunned look on her face. "...no..." She hesitantly turned, eyes widening in shock as she saw a certain device missing.

"What is t-this thing?"

Vinyl snapped her attention to the grayish-purple unicorn currently messing with her phone. Leaping over the heads of the other young ones, she snatched her machine, hugging it tightly to her body. She sighed in relief before tensing up, looking at the foals behind her. Most of them were staring back, the tan pegasus deciding to fix a wary gaze on the light purple unicorn.

The DJ gave a sheepish grin, rubbing the back of her head with her hoof. "...I don't like ponies touching my stuff..." She awkwardly cleared her throat, trying to think of something to distract from her embarrassment. "...where's 'Shy?"

A little yellow filly raised her hoof, but spoke immediately anyways. "Ah believe she's takin' care a' her animals."

Smiling softly at how much that was like Fluttershy, Vinyl activated her phone, beginning to count the votes.

Meanwhile, the other ponies slowly left, except for Scootaloo and Pipsqueak. The former was trying to sneak glances at the colt, quickly looking away each time, as he was staring right at her.

The older mare paused her tally and smiled softly, seeing the shared blush on the faces of the young ponies. It was really quite adorable. She then decided to make sure of something before telling them who won.

"What is your wager?"

They turned to Vinyl, confused. "...wager?" Scootaloo rubbed the back of her head with a hoof, unsure of what else to say. "...we didn't know we needed a wager..." The spotted colt next to her nodded in agreement.

The DJ shook her head, a smile playing across her lips. "Then how about this: the loser has to do one thing the winner says. No questions asked."

The two school ponies looked at each other, then back at their temporary guardian, nodding.

"Good deal! One sec..." Vinyl finished tallying the votes, putting her phone back on the night stand before turning to her charges. "The winner is Scootaloo, though it was really close."

Scootaloo's pupils shrank, looking everywhere but the colt next to her. She obviously was worried he'd hate her for beating him. However, when he poked her shoulder, she had to face him.

Pipsqueak held a hoof up, a bright smile greeting the pegasus' gaze. "Congrats, Scoots!" He chuckled softly as he saw her blush grow even more.

She grinned, taking the hoof and shaking it. She leaped off the bed, motioning towards the door. "Come on, Pip! There's something I'd like for us to do!"

He jumped down and followed, a curious look on his face. "What is it? Pretend pirates? Aliens? Alien pirates with a treasure planet?"

Vinyl lay back down, closing her eyes as she tried to sleep, the last words they said as they left ringing in her mind:

"Have you ever heard of...k-kissing?"

Her eyes snapped open wide. Nope! She sprang to her hooves, chasing the two young ones before they did something they might regret later.

Okay, a few things. While this aftermath is definitely going up, the next rap battle might not come for a while. I'm not entirely sure how often I'll be able to update, but be sure when I say this - I will definitely continue to make rap battles.

Also, I promised a friend that I'd post a rap battle in the comments between him and another for others to vote on. ^^;

And yes, that's Scoots asking Pip for a kiss. :p

"Why the BUCK would you write that!?"

There's a comedy tag. Maybe you missed it? :3

I also got around to making more title cards! Yay! :D Sadly, there weren't really enough references for Blueblood's... :\

...I feel like there's something else for me to mention...but I just can't remember...

Anyways, you all have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #9

Fluttershy hummed a simple song as she flit about her small cottage, tending to her animals. Behind her, dogs and hummingbirds started singing along. They were happy she returned to singing the songs they were cared and, in some cases, raised to. The majority of them had accepted her new career, though a fair number didn't really care for the strange music.

Angel was standing by the newly-acquired turntables in the living room, practicing his rhymes. He wanted to get better, maybe show Gummy up after being beaten in their last battle. Fluttershy gave him a quick pat on the head, smiling softly at him.

Soon enough, the pale yellow mare flew outside to tend to the numerous flamingos and squirrels. She began feeding them, her sweet melody slowly turning into a sort of beat. The birds and critters stopped following the tune, trying to figure out where, exactly, the main mare was going with this new medley.

At this point she was bobbing her head up and down as she fed some of the critters, her eyes closed. It was no surprise when she almost knocked over the bowl she had just filled.

"...huh? Oh! I’m so sorry Mr. Mouse. I guess I can’t get Turntable-ing out of my head. Do you think I need some rest?” She asked. Fluttershy however, payed no attention to the mouse as it nodded, her head was turned “Or should I be practicing my rhymes like Angel?”

Fluttershy slowly made her way next to Angel as if in a trance. Behind her, the mouse facepawed at the mare’s addictive behaviour, as did the many that didn't approve of her new lifestyle.

As she made her way, she found herself suddenly blocked by her chickens. The birds dropped a feeding tray, void of any seeds.

Fluttershy's eyes widened in shock, immediately fretting over her friends. “Oh, did I forget to feed you? I'm sorry!”

Fluttershy pulled out a bag of nutritious squirrel food and poured it all on the tray. The chickens seemed unamused.

“BAK-BACKAW!” Fluttershy, realizing her mistake, sheepishly replaced the tray with another one full of chicken seeds. The chickens cleared away to let her pass.

Unfortunately, the moment she turned her back on them, she heard a loud crash.

Fluttershy immediately turned around to see that Screwball, a pony whom seemed to have stayed in Ponyville despite the end of Discord’s (rather short) reign, had ran into her chicken coop, again, but it was now broken down.

“...oh...my...”

Vinyl was sitting in her living room, watching the fillies and colts and enjoying the fact that nopony seemed to want to do any rap battles lately. She munched on a daffodil sandwich, already planning out the next party she would throw. She had to see if she could find Octavia beforehand so she would have to go. Where is Octy, anyways?

In a remote part of the Everfree forest, a grey mare sneezed twice. "...somepony must be thinking about me...and two sneezes...it must be bad..."

Rubbing her nose, she glanced at the unfortunate Timberwolves that attempted to ambush her, now essentially firewood. Shaking her head, she continued on her way, two of her spare cello bows strapped to her back.

A small grin started forming on the white unicorn's lips, imagining about how Octavia would react to her surprise. She was snapped out of her thoughts by a small tap her shoulder.

"...um, Vinyl? I was hoping I could ask you a favor..." The nervous pegasus asked, hiding behind her pink hair.

"Sure, 'Shy. Anything for you." Vinyl flashed a grin, nodding genially.

"...well, um...if it's okay with you...well..." As Fluttershy slowly tried to explain, a purple pony appeared magically behind her.

Vinyl looked from one mare to the other and back, confused momentarily. Why would 'Shy be with this pony? I thought she- Blinking in realization, she groaned, resting her head on her forehooves. "...oh no, 'Shy...not you, too..."

"...but she ran into my hens' coop..." Fluttershy was obviously trying to be insistent, but her timid nature was keeping her from properly being so.

"She put that thing in my way!" Screwball point an accusatory hoof at the yellow mare. "Daddy specifically said to get 20 minutes of jogging everyday! Not every week. Not every other day. Every. Day!"

Vinyl peeked at them between her hooves before rolling her eyes. "...at least let me finish my sandwich." Fluttershy and Screwball stood in front of her with huge grins plastered on their faces. The unicorn mare could've sworn she heard a 'squee' come from somewhere...nah, it's probably just her imagination.

Vinyl had set everything up in her basement again, and the fillies and colts all filed in, gathering on the little rows of pillows laid out just for them.

Fluttershy nervously but bravely set hoof on stage. The crowd all watched in silence, until a pink pony could be overheard calling out from the seats.

"Who are you rapping against?" The other ponies all clamored in agreement, though some were reluctant, wondering if they were trying to pull a joke on them. Fluttershy and Vinyl quickly glanced around, surprised and confused. Screwball was nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly, a headset was violently tossed in Fluttershy's direction. She cowered and, panicking, flung her forelegs up in an attempt to protect herself. Somehow, doing this allowed her to catch the piece of equipment. She looked up to see her opponent, wearing wrist bands on her hooves and sporting a huge grin, her headset already on.

...as much as I hate to admit it, this just might be good. Vinyl double checked the sound, compensating for Fluttershy's soft voice, before starting up the beat.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

Please excuse me if I'm being rude
But for you I'm just not in the mood
Rapping is what this DJ does best!
I'll trample you down with my Fluttertree forest!
My animals and I look down on your mishaps
And we'll do the same for your dumb raps!
I'd try to reason with you but you're too dumb to understand
If you don't mind, go back to your little wonderland!

Me get off, ya timid mare? You must be kiddin'!
It's clear you can't rap so just sit down and listen
I'm insane when I step up on the mic
I'll beat you down as much as I like!
You're nowhere near best pony, that's for sure.
You can't even watch over three fillies - that's real mature!
You're weak - can't fly for long before ya pant!
You went insane when ya couldn't befriend an ant!

I love all animals - you have a problem with that?
I swear I'll knock you out with your sad propeller hat
I'm DJ TR33 - I'll drop kick you from the sky!
You'll learn nopony raps against new Fluttershy!

Shaped by chaos, I hold the normal world hostage.
You stay curled up on your floor in your cottage!
I ruled with daddy Discord for two days straight!
I won this battle, there really is no debate!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Vinyl turned off the music, satisfied. She turned around only to come face-to-face with a pair of stone pegasi. They seemed to be stuck in a staring contest, hooves up as if they had been grasping at something between them, angry expressions etched on their faces. She was fairly certain those weren't there before.

She decided that it was probably best not to think about them too much.

A big thanks to Black-eyes, who gave me the general outline for this chapter's story and the basis of the rap. I kinda needed a breather, since Tiara really is being stubborn. She refuses to help with the rap, even when I promised to get her a diamond ring! :(

Thankfully, somepony's helping me with that. :3

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #9: Results and Aftermath

Fluttershy hammered in the last nail, sighing in relief. Placing it back into her (borrowed) toolbox, she took a step back, admiring her work.

The chicken coop looked just like new. She was even able to add a few more things to it, thanks to Applebloom's advice. It now had a small pool, an A/C, and even a licorice dispenser. She didn't know why AJ's sister recommended it, but it made her animal friends happy.

As she turned to go inside her own home, she had to stop, almost running into two other mares. She blinked, and then beamed happily at her friend. "Hello, Vinyl." She turned to the other mare, her happy expression degrading into a confused one. "...and...Screwball..."

The magenta pony smiled brightly at her, though it seemed a little forced. She had on a purple apron, with tools and other objects stuffed into the pockets far beyond full. "So, what would you like me to do?" She lifted up a hoof in salute, a hammer and a chisel falling out of her apron.

Fluttershy stared at Screwball, confusion written all over her face. "...what do you mean?"

She laughed a bit, wrapping a leg around Vinyl. "She's good, isn't she? I could swear she didn't know, that's how great an actress she is!"

The white unicorn mover her hoof out from under a falling pair of scissors and stared at the airborne earth pony, a bemused look on her face. "'Shy's really not that great at acting. She's telling the truth."

Screwball's eyes grew as wide as saucers. "Really!?"

Vinyl coughed, bringing up her phone with her magic and bringing it over to Fluttershy. "You won, 'Shy! By a large margin, too!"

Fluttershy stared blankly at the screen. "...I...I won?" She smiled, flying into the air with a flap of her wings. "I can't believe it! I feel like shouting! Woohoo!~" Her voice was soft for the cheer, but that was to be expected when it came to the pale yellow pegasus.

"Yeah, 'Shy." Vinyl grinned, putting the device away and gesturing at Screwball. "So, what do you want her to do? Fix the damage she caused?" She then noticed the coop, and shut her mouth tight, embarrassed.

Fluttershy looked at the earth pony, then her chicken coop, then back at the mare. "...um...I already fixed it...but..." She put a hoof to her chin, thinking a bit. An idea soon came to her. "...oh! Maybe you could...I don't know...choose a different route? So you wouldn't run into it again?" She squeaked, hiding behind her mane again. "...i-if you wouldn't mind, I mean..."

Screwball sagged a bit, her head drooping in her melancholy. "I suppose. I thought you'd have more than that, though..." She kicked a rock, which went sailing up into a tree.

Vinyl coughed softly, drawing their attention. "You know, 'Shy still has two other 'requests' that she can use." She pointed a hoof at them, her eyes narrowing in a semi-angry glare. "Just no more intimate stuff. We have enough of that, due to those two young ones." She turned and walked away, speaking under her breath. "...thanks a lot for that, by the way, E..." She could hear the ponies chatting behind her, but wasn't really paying attention, her mind elsewhere.

"...where are you, Octy?"

The grey mare in question continued her journey through the forest, looking around carefully. She had snacked on some zap apples, but that didn't really help fill her belly.

A bright light off to her right pulled her attention to it. She walked closer, seeing a blue mare with a two-toned blue mane. She seemed to be crying into a piece of purple, star-patterned cloth. As she approached, a twig broke under her hoof.

Almost immediately, a pair of dark violet eyes turned to her, glaring angrily yet still filled with tears. "What do you want?"

She put on her best diplomatic smile, extending her hoof genially. "My name is Octavia. What's yours?"

The unicorn knocked her hoof away, glaring at the tear stained cloth in her hooves. "I don't need to tell you that. Leave me be." She gestured to a nearby newspaper, her words turning acidic. "You'll just laugh at me, anyways, thanks to that stupid Gabby Gums!"

Octavia grabbed the paper, skimming over the column. "...'secret revealed'?"

Okay, a few things I'd like to say!

One, and possibly an important one, comment #2100 gets to choose who gets to have a rematch! The only ones I have to say no to are 'Lyra vs. Ditzy' and 'The Flim Flam Bros. vs. The Spa Sisters'. The first one is because Lyra was chosen to be the first to have a second battle. The second one is because I still refuse to do a battle without a title card for the character, and the FFBs still don't have theirs.

Two, TWILIGHTCLOPPLE LIKES MY RAP BATTLES!! >u< Sorry for fan-fillying like that, but I had to get that out.

Three, though the next battle is ready, the story for it is not, so please be patient with me. I'm also waiting for a certain something so I can make a certain part of the rap more understandable, since it alludes to something slightly obscure and might not make sense if just read out loud.

Four, I HAS A TUMBLR!! Sadly, I had already used my username on here over there, so I had to make a new one. ^^; The new tumblr is creativeequestrian.tumblr.com. Not really a serious blog, but it's mine. Also, you can ask the rappers questions on there, after their battles!

And that's about it. Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #10

Fluttershy flit about her house, gathering up a large amount of books into a box. She decided that they should be sorted later, but just leaving them around just wouldn't do.

"Can I help you with that, 'Shy?"

She yelped in panic, falling on her back with her legs locked in the air. She found herself staring up at the source of the noise, looking up at . "O-oh, Screwball. Y-you startled me."

The mare shrugged, taking the box from the yellow pegasus and rushing up the stairs. "I'm going to sort your bookshelf!"

Fluttershy just sat there for a few moments, shocked. She then raced up after the over-energetic mare, a large blush on her face. "N-no! Please, d-don't look at those!"

Vinyl sat on her bed, sighing softly. She glanced at the door, making sure it was closed, before she pulled a book out of her night stand. She grinned, skimming over the cover with her eyes, tracing the embossed name with a gentle hoof. I don't know who you are, but you're an amazing writer, Lemon Tart! She paused for a moment, thinking carefully. ...well, maybe not as good as Twilightclopple, or Butterscotch Sundae...but still, an amazing writer!

Just as she flipped it open to the first page, there was a knock on her bedroom door. She tossed her book up in the air in surprise, fumbling to grab it in mid-air with her hooves before remembering that she had magic. She gripped it in her telekinesis and threw it back into her night stand and quickly shutting it. "C-come in!"

Two fillies walked in, glaring at each other so much, the pink one tripped on a cello bow and almost fell on her face. Vinyl winced, seeing that the young pony broke the bow. I hope Octy won't get mad at me for that. I didn't damage it, after all.

"We want a rap battle!"

She blinked, snapping out of her thoughts and staring at them. "...may I ask why?"

The pink one spoke up, glaring at Vinyl. "That's none of your concern, Miss Scratch." The yellow filly next to her glanced away, a small blush on her face.

The white unicorn opened her mouth, about to state that she probably should know for the rap battle. She quickly shut it, realizing that the stubborn filly wasn't going to budge. She sighed, running her hoof through her hair. "...fine. Let me just get my stuff ready, okay?"

The fillies cheered, oblivious to Vinyl's inner turmoil. When they opened their eyes and saw the other one was overjoyed, they went back to glaring as if nothing had changed.

Vinyl sat in her basement, staring up at the fixture above her. She frowned, turning her attention to the stone pegasi still behind her. She was compelled to keep the basement light on, yet she didn't know why. Shrugging, she turned back to the audience and the two ponies on the stage. They seemed to be glancing at one of the ponies in the crowd.

Shaking her head to clear that silly thought from it, she started up the music, a wide grin on her face.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

Oh look, it's the leader of the blank flank brigade.
She's even wearing that stupid-looking cape that they made!
Well take it off girl, it makes you look like a tank.
I'm surprised you even tried to talk to me, you blank flank.
I'm the queen of this school - the mistress of cool
You're just a little tool. Who you trying to fool?
Your family's dumb farm is barely staying afloat.
My family's so rich

You'd better hope your boat's better than it's captain
Else it'll sink 'fore your three hour tour can begin.
Ya think Ah'm big? You'd make yer ship sink!
You're no queen - you're the weakest link!
Ah have friends who are willin' ta crusade.
Yer only friend's the money yer dad made!
It seems ya forgot 'bout the roots a' your luxury.
Ya wouldn't have a bit if it weren't for my family!

Please, I wouldn't take your Granny's words with a heap of salt.
You, your friends and your family are all riddled with faults!
Your rhymes are so weak, they make you look uncool.
Cry to your mommy you loser, you just got schooled.
Or do you even have a mommy? None of us would know.
All the years that we've known you and she's STILL a no-show
Though looking at you, I really bet, honey
That your mom does certain "jobs" to make more money.

Ya talk about my mom, tryin' ta get me vexed
Yet Ah'm not the one with a daddy complex.
Ya got hot an' bothered by the birds an' the bees
Ah bet ya want my brother ta bring ya to yer knees.
No matter how much ya try ta neglect
Ya have flaws, Diamond, so don't try ta deflect.
Your rap skills are the absolute worst, no doubt!
Now go, 'fore ya miss your Playcolt tryout.

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Yeah, I understand this one has been requested for quite a while, but I didn't have a reason for them to rap battle. Now I do! :P Feel free to ask them questions on my tumblr blog. ^w^ (please specify if you want it written or if you want me to tell you what they said with my voice)

Also, don't expect to see more pics in the middle of the battles. It was only there for this one to clarify a reference. ^^; All credit for it goes to NostalgiaGamerJS on deviantArt.

And credit for about half of the battle goes to SuperChaosKG here on the site. Tiara was being too much of a {insert synonym for a female dog here}.

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy, and have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #10: Results and Aftermath

Fluttershy was in the kitchen, making dinner for two. She sighed softly, looking at the pink mare currently flitting about her living room. Screwball just wouldn't take no for an answer, especially after finding her unfinished manuscript.

"I can't believe you're the Lemon Tart!" Her guest turned and smiled at her...or maybe at her fridge. Her head was pointed between the two locations. "You are an amazing writer, especially when it comes to clop!"

Fluttershy glanced at Screwball, frowning slightly. "...I'd like to change the subject...um, I mean, if that's alright with you..." She stared at her hooves, as if she could imagine herself into invisibility. "...and...the second thing I want you to do...is to never mention this to anypony else...please?"

Screwball saluted, a goofy grin on her face. "No problem, Lemon!"

She winced, shaking her head fervently. "...p-please...call me F-Fluttershy..."

The beanie-wearing pony continued to flit about. After a moment, she pulled out a record and put it on the Victrola.

"IF THERE'S A NEW WAY, I'LL BE THE FIRST IN LINE. BUT IT BETTER WORK THIS TIME!"

In a fit of panic, Fluttershy grabbed the record and flew up into her room, leaving behind a confused mare.

Screwball looked at the stairs, then at the vegetable soup still on the stove, then back at the stairs. "...so...is dinner ready?"

The grey mare slowly trot out of the forest, squinting as the sun shone directly in her eyes. "...is it really that late? Vinyl must be starving. Only Celestia knows how she fed herself for three weeks."

She turned to the blue unicorn behind her, a soft smile on her face. "Would you like to come over to my place? I'm certain I can make you a lovely meal." She wasn't blind; she saw how skinny she was.

The mare stared at her new earth pony friend, a look of awe and fear on her face. "T-Trixie is thankful, Octavia." She smiled nervously.

Octavia giggled, a hoof covering her mouth. "Don't worry, Miss Lulamoon. I won't hurt you."

"I - Trixie wasn't worried about that!" She blushed, shaking her head to rid it of their incident with a manticore.

Octavia smiled knowingly, heading off in a seemingly random direction. "Please follow me, Miss Lulamoon. Everything is alright."

Trixie stood still for a moment longer before trotting after the musician, the promise of food all the motivation she needed.

Vinyl sat on her couch, idly poking a hoof at the sandwich on her plate. I just know something will happen as soon as I try to eat this. She stared at it for a little while longer before shaking her head, lifting the delicacy with her magic. Might as well get this-

"Miss Scratch!"

Called it. She glanced over at the two fillies sitting on the other side of her coffee table. Lemonade table. "So, I take it you girls want to know who won?"

"Well yeah!" The pink filly flipped her hair over her shoulder, as if that would help her point. "It's been over, like, a week, now! It's the next month, even!"

The other one glared at her rival, annoyed. "So how'd yer tryout go?"

She waved her hoof dismissively. "They said I was too young. The nerve of-" She stopped, looking up at the shocked unicorn in front of her. "...oops."

Vinyl's eye twitched slightly, trying her best to figure out just how to cope with this new information. She sighed, taking out her phone and navigating through it.

"Who won, Miss Scratch?" The yellow filly was bouncing in place, excited and hopeful.

Vinyl chuckled softly, shaking her head. "Be patient, Applebloom. I'll tell you it eventually!"

She frowned, leaping over the table and placing her face right in front of the DJ's. "But Ah want it now!"

She just looked around the little Apple's head, finishing her mental tally. "Okay, AB! You win!"

"Thank ya!" Applebloom looked up, smiling brightly. "So, who won?"

Vinyl stared at the filly for a few moments. "I just said you won."

"Yeah, and you'll tell us who won, right?"

Vinyl facehoofed, sighing softly. "...Applebloom, I'm saying that you're the winner of the battle..."

"I can't believe this!" Their attention was drawn to Tiara, who was positively livid by then. "Her first part stank! How could she win?!"

The DJ shook her head. "She brushed off that part about her mother and came back with a vengeance."

Tiara scowled, turning to Applebloom. "Fine! You can have him! I don't care anymore!" She turned and stomped off, brushing past a tan colt as he flew into the room, snapping pictures as he went.

Vinyl blinked, turning to the yellow filly next to her. "...dare I ask what that's about?"

Applebloom just blushed, looking at the colt as he flit about. "...it's nothin', really..."

The sound of an opening door soon greeted their ears. "Vinyl, I'm back! And I brought a friend!"

The two mares walked into the room. The blue unicorn with Octavia glanced at each of the ponies, curious. That is, before her eyes landed on the colt.

She stared at him, taking in details that others would have dismissed as commonplace. She saw his camera and his cutie mark of a feather, before resting on his face. Her own twisted into a look of surprise, then horror, followed almost immediately by the most rage anypony there had ever seen. Her hair even began to look like it was smoldering.

"YOU!"

I'm sure you all know where this is going. :p Oh, and to the one person who recognized the "I'm On a Boat" reference last chapter, you get a pony. ^w^

"When E says 'you get a pony', that probably means you get to choose a pony that appears in an upcoming battle! Of course, he can still decline, if it contradicts one of the 'rules' he has set."

^ This.

I hope you all enjoy the next chapter, and have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #11

Vinyl stared at the ex-showmare, confused. She turned to the gangly tan pegasus who bore the brunt of the verbal assault, curious. "...do you know her?"

He shook his head decisively, denying any knowledge of her.

Of course, this only caused her anger to rise. "Really? You don't remember Trixie? The mare who you slandered in that rag of a paper?!"

At this point, Applebloom decided to speak up. "It wasn't slander." Everyone turned to her, surprised. "Slander's spoken word. What ya prob'ly mean is libel. Still, it wasn't him."

"Really? Then how do you explain this?!" She tossed the paper at the filly's hooves, the article visible and the picture showing clear as day. The Great and Powerful Trixie's Secret Revealed! Photo by Featherweight. "He may not have written the article, but he's still responsible for my pain!"

Applebloom stared down at it, shocked. "...Ah thought we got rid a' all these?"

Trixie, of course, didn't hear her, pointing an accusing hoof at the poor colt. "Trixie challenges you to a rap battle! Tomorrow at high noon!" She turned to Octavia, a serious look on her face. "Trixie shall train with you, so she can be prepared to make that colt pay!" With that, she stormed off.

Applebloom glowered at the retreating mare, calling after her in her anger. "Fine! Ah'll just help Featherweight, then!" She tugged on his foreleg, leading him along behind her.

Vinyl just groaned, shaking her head. "...I'm just gonna...stay here, then." She lifted her sandwich, taking a bite out of it contentedly. "Yum."

"...well Trixie feels foalish, now."

Octavia had just explained to the unicorn how Featherweight was just doing as his editor told him to. "What now, Trixie?"

"Trixie shall..." She paused, thinking carefully. "...have to go through with it. She can't withdraw now. Everypony would call her a coward."

Octavia smiled kindly, offering her some vegetable soup. "Eat. Afterwards, we'll begin practicing."

Trixie graciously took the bowl, touched by the mare's kindness. For the first time in a long time, she smiled.

Applebloom's jaw was threatening to detach just so it could hit the ground with her shock. Recovering enough to talk, she cleared her throat, a bright blush coloring her cheeks. "...glad ya can talk, Featherweight...honestly, Ah almost thought ya were mute..." She put a hoof up to her chin, thinking for a few moments. "...yer entire fam'ly's quite interestin'..."

He chuckled, and the sound alone almost made her swoon. He gestured, as if to make a point.

She sheepishly rubbed the back of her head. "Yeah, Ah see yer point. L-let's get ta practicin', then."

The next day, at ten minutes to noon, they all gathered in the town square. Vinyl finished putting the headsets on the two ponies, and was about to begin the microphone check. "Trixie, say something, please."

She held her head high, smirking at the colt across from her. "Featherweight will lose soundly."

Vinyl rolled her eyes, turning to the pegasus. "Your turn, kid."

He glanced at the filly in the crowd, who was nodding, encouraging him with a wave of her hoof. He turned to the blue unicorn in front of him. "Trixie - egotism made direly listless."

Everypony, save a certain yellow filly, stared at him in stunned silence. Even Vinyl stared at him over her shades. Dear Celestia, his voice! It's so...so...

"Deep!" Trixie broke the silence with that one word, her irises almost pinpoints. "My goodness, you sound like Smokey Robins!"

Vinyl cleared her throat, catch their attention. "Let's begin, shall we?" She started the music, her grin wide as she began to lose herself in the music. Hopefully, no one will notice my knees turned to jelly.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

Alright, you little filly, it's time to duel
Now you'll understand why Trixie's so cool!
Put a mirror near her, there's no reflection to see
You freak, there can only be one Trixie!

Let's take a close-up shot of the issue at hoof -
A unicorn that makes claims without any proof.
I, for one, have all the proof that I'll need
To show that this mare will never win a steed!
Only one Trixie? That's too good to be true!
Then again, no pony would wanna be like you.
If a pic's a thousand word, then consider this -
There's millions out there showing your shame, Trix!

Your rap was weak - couldn't wait for it to end.
Trixie may be single, but you've got a coltfriend.
She can tell photography is your highest passion
But was that one pic really about tail extensions?
Ponies got mad at Gabby, but the fact they let slip
Is that, without those pics, there wouldn't have been gossip!
You're bucking high above your weight class.
My raps will crack your buck-toothed jaw of glass!

All you do is tell lies nopony wants to hear.
Your only trick makes a stallion's rod disappear!
You only made fun of ponies in your awful stage show.
If you didn't brag so much, you wouldn't be a hobo!

My house, destroyed; I have no more bits
Yet you displayed my bad luck just for kicks?
The little respect I had for you just died.
Trixie may brag, but you're the real bad guy.

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

The next battle is under construction. I need to work on it a bit more, so, for now, please enjoy this chapter! Oh, and I have a whole headcanon about his family. It's rather silly, but I think it adds a bit more to my characterization of him. :p

Once again, a round of applause for SuperChaosKG, for helping with the rhymes (and getting me started on the rest of the battle)!

Late due to Left 4 Dead 2 and Portal 2. ^^; Such good games!

Anyways, I'm going to go work on a pic for a friend! Gonna be the second MLP traditional drawing I've done! (Afterwards, I might do one based on an idea that's been in my head for a bit. ^w^ ~ )

By the way...please, for the love of Luna, PLEASE SEND ME A PM IF YOU'RE ONE OF MY PREREADERS!! I lose track of them and then I can't remember who I'm supposed to send the chapter to! :(

Glad to have that out of the way. ^^; Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #11: Results and Aftermath

Vinyl walked into the living room, singing to herself. "I'm burnin', burnin'. I got a fever. I know for sure - there ain't no cure." She stopped, staring at an orange pegasus filly and a spotted colt kissing. Eye twitching behind her shades, she walked up to them, speaking in a stern tone. "Break it up. Now."

They looked up at her, confused. The filly spoke up, curiosity getting the better of her. "Why? It's just kissing, isn't it?"

She turned her gaze to the window, glad her glasses hid her emotions. "Just...not here, alright? Not in this house."

They looked at each other, then, shrugging, walked out, just as an elated yellow filly walked in, almost literally grinning from ear to ear.

Vinyl stared at her for a few moments before sighing, levitating a glass of lemonade from the kitchen. "I take it Featherweight asked you out?"

She nodded happily, bouncing up and down in joy. "He did! Our first date is going to be tonight!" She did a little spin, bounding back out of the room.

She sighed, walking over to the couch, and, sitting on it, started drinking her sour beverage. "...I went to bed, I was thinking about you...and how it felt when I finally found you...it's like a movie playing over in my head...d-don't wanna look cause I know how it ends..."

A solitary tear rolled down her cheek, crashing onto the floor in the form of a broken heart.

Octavia sat in the library, knowing that Twilight wouldn't mind her practicing there while she was away. She carefully held her bow, gently lining it up to the strings, and, ever so fluidly-

"You know, you could've asked."

Screech. Octavia turned to the entrance of the library, seeing her purple unicorn friend. She smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head. "Spike let me in. Sorry, but you weren't here, and..."

She held up a hoof, a small smile on her face. "No problem. After all, what are friends for?" She giggled, moving over to a chair. Nodding to the grey mare, she gave her total attention. "Please, continue. It was sounding good." She stuck her tongue out in a teasing manner.

Octavia laughed quietly to herself, beginning once again. Only for you, Twilight.

Fluttershy was sitting with Winona, making sure she was fed. "Now, is there anything else you need?"

Winona shook her head, smiling at her. "Nope! Ya know how ta feed me pretty darn well, Fluttershy!"

She smiled at the canine, gently petting her head with a wing. Ever since the rap battle with Angel and Gummy, the timid mare had given most of her animal friends a headset, so they could communicate freely and clearly with her. Of course, some of them decided not to use it, but that was fine, too. She loved talking to her friends either way.

"Ah take it ya used some kinda contraptionology on Winona, 'Shy?"

She leaped in the air in surprise, turning around to see the voice's owner. She smiled at the orange mare, shaking her head. "It wasn't me. It was Vinyl and Twilight's invention." She stared at a tree for a moment before clopping a hoof on the ground. "Oh!" She flit over to her saddlebag, pulling out a thick stack of paper. She walked back over to the cowpony, a small blush on her cheeks. "...my part's done...um...h-have fun with the...sensualstuffokaybye!" With that, she was gone, leaving the incomplete novel on a nearby table.

Applejack shook her head, chuckling softly to herself. "Ain't that just like Fluttershy." She took the stack and walked into the farmhouse, heading for her room - and the typewriter that await her there.

"...Miss Scratch, are you okay?"

Vinyl snapped out of her reverie, finally noticing the two ponies standing in front of her. She sighed, picking up her phone. "I'll tell you two the winner..."

"No."

She blinked, looking up at the cornflower-blue mare. "...beg pardon?"

"Trixie said no." She moved forward, a concerned expression on her face. "Trixie is concerned with your sudden state of sadness. As well as the tears you are crying. Is something wrong?"

Vinyl opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She tried again, using all of her willpower to force something, anything, from her lips. "...I'm fine. Honest."

Trixie frowned, staring at the other unicorn for the longest time. Finally, she closed her eyes, shaking her head. "Trixie doesn't believe you, but she can't force you to talk about it." She motioned with a hoof, sighing gently. "May as well tell us who won."

She quickly looked through her phone, quite interested in a few of the comments. "...'Steven Colbert'? Is he related to 'Coltbert'?" As she went further down, her breath caught in her throat. "...E..."

She pushed past the name, eventually getting to a couple more interesting votes. "...Big Mac?" She paused, thinking about the red stallion for a few moments. ...I would love to go on a date with him... She sighed, hanging her head a bit, dejected. ...too bad he's already with somepony...lucky mare...

She counted up the last of the votes, ignoring one of them, not even sure how to comment on somepony named 'Bilbo Baggins'. She looked up at them, her face strictly serious. "...the winner, with a count of eighty-one to sixty-eight...is..." She pointed a hoof, smirking slightly. "...you."

If you're wondering why this was late, or why I suddenly have so much detail (comparatively), it's because I've been playing 'Fallout: New Vegas', among other games. ^^;

...wait, this is a bad time for the author's comments. Oops! :p

Back to the story!~

The blue unicorn stared at the hoof, pointed directly at her. "...me?"

Vinyl nodded, chuckling softly. "Yeah, you!"

Trixie turned to Featherweight, smiling softly at him. "...you...you did well." She bowed, blushing softly. "Please forgive Trixie for being brash earlier."

He grinned, holding out a hoof to her. "I'm willing to forgive if you are."

With the sound of his words, the ex-showmare fainted. The other two stared at her, before Vinyl decided to speak up. "Maybe you should keep your voice in reserve for your girlfriend?"

He sheepishly smiled, rubbing the back of his head.

"Give my best to Derpy and Snowflake when they get back, mkay?" She smiled at him as he nodded, turning back to her thoughts, with a new one added: How does his sister stay up in that cloud home of theirs?

Okay, now it's the proper time for author's notes. ^w^

I'm going to be starting college the 27th, so I'm not sure how often new battles will come up, much less new chapters. And I also need someone who could create title cards. ^^; I no longer have photoshop, so I don't have a way of making new ones...so I'm pretty much limited to the characters I already have cards for.

Also, I blame Bethesda and Valve for making such addicting games! x3

I think that's about it. Oh, and the next couple battles are probably gonna be a bit unexpected. *le shrug* And I apologize for the lame attempt at feels. :\

Have a nice day/night/whenever!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #12

Vinyl lay on her bed, resting her head on one foreleg. her other one was busy with a game on her phone. Normally, she'd be enthusiastically shooting the avian projectiles, trying to destroy those evil porcine foes.

She just wasn't feeling it. She got up and trot over to her dresser, staring at the picture on top. The treasured photo was framed in an intricate, gold frame. She brought the photo close, tracing the smiling grey pony's cheek with a hoof. "...w-why?"

"Miss Scratch?"

"WAH!" Vinyl tossed the photo into a dresser drawer, slamming it shut as she turned to face the source of the voice.

The purple dragon just stared at her for a moment before shrugging. "We want a rap battle." He motioned to himself and the silver filly next to him.

Said filly shuffled nervously, muttering under her breath. "...he wants to...I'm perfectly fine as I am..."

He stared at her, a fierce determination in his eyes that Vinyl had never seen before. "We're doing this, Spoon. I'm going to win, and then you'll have to let me help you."

Vinyl, confused by the exchange between the two, lifted a hoof to interject. Silver Spoon shook her head, her eyes silently pleading her to not ask.

After a moment or two of deliberation, she sighed, running her foreleg through her mane. She winced, feeling how five days in her room took its toll on her hygiene. "...let me get a shower real quick, and then I'll do it."

Everypony who was in town gathered in the town square. To be honest, it wasn't that many ponies. Twilight and Octavia were situated right behind Sweetie, Applebloom and Scootaloo. Pipsqueak sat next to the orange pegasus, and Featherweight was seated by the yellow filly. There was also what appeared to be a stallion wearing a beanie in the back row next to Fluttershy and Applejack, but Vinyl didn't recognize him.

Spike stood on stage, a special headset firmly in place around his green spines. He was smirking at the silver filly in front of him, who returned it with a glare.

"Go, Silver Spoon!" A pink pony cheered for her only friend, a sly grin on her face. "Show him who's boss!"

"You can do it, Spike!" The white unicorn cupped her hooves around her mouth, loudly calling out. "I know you can!"

Vinyl sighed, smiling softly. As she began her music, she noticed a yellow earth pony and a mint-green unicorn take a seat behind Twilight and Octavia. Forcing that observation to the back of her mind, she switched into 'entertainer mode'.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

Holy guacamole, lets get this battle started!
But I warn you, Silver Spoon, my raps aren't for the fainthearted.
You still go to school? Still stuck in boring classes?
I'm surprised you can read with those thick glasses.
You always tease the Cutie Mark Crusaders to no end.
Too bad you're the one who hasn't got any real friends.
Your so-called "friend" is just a sad reminder.
She's up in the front, you're stuck hidden behind her.

Well look what we've got here - it's little baby Spike.
Before you huff yourself to sleep, I'm gonna make my own strike!
You claim you're big and strong? You're hardly a dragon.
I know you suck your claw at night and wear a frilly pink apron.
Your crush is in love with another. What, you didn't know?
I guess you would've if you didn't bend backwards so low.
No pony here will vote for you. They're all still annoyed
About that rampage where you left the town half-destroyed.

I'm much tougher than you think, I've swam in a lava pool.
I was king of the horde. Let's see you do that, you mule.
I've been called handsome and cute, I'm a hit with the mares.
So she has somepony else in her sights - I don't care!
I help Twilight keep her library clean and consistent.
Everypony knows that I'm the number one assistant.
And what about you? What does your cutie mark even mean?
Just that you're tarnished, Silver, and a huge drama queen!

You think you stand a chance? That is true hilarity.
You're destined to fail just like your crush on Rarity!
So Twilight's clever and you think you're just as smart, oui?
Then why couldn't you organize her brother's bachelor party?
You claim you're her assistant? Ha! You're more like her pet!
Don't even try to deny the time she took you to a vet.
You think your raps can match mine? Oh, give me a break!
You're really nothing more than an overgrown snake.

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Raps this time are due to the help of Fireseeker and GuyFace. Sorry if I spelled your username incorrectly. ^^;

The next battle is going to be an unexpected one! :D Well, except for those who I asked for help from. *le shrug* Also, you might expect a relatively large number of memes to be used. Best bet? Pull up "knowyourmeme.com" for help.

"Come on, E! You need to start packing!"

Ah, right. I'm starting college on Monday. Just so that's out there. Also, rejected lyrics:

I'll bend this Spoon and at little to no cost.
Then continue with my day like a boss!

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #12: Results and Aftermath

Octavia sat in her living room, sipping wine and enjoying some Beethooven in the candlelight. It had been so long since she'd relaxed like this, but she couldn't figure out why that was.

Suddenly, Vinyl crashed through the window, a strange two-wheeled device following her. Well, until said metal machine got stuck in the window. She got up, removing her helmet and gently rubbing her head, wincing slightly. "...note to self...ponies aren't meant to drive motorcycles..."

She looked around herself, noticing that she had landed right in the middle of Octavia's relaxation session. She rubbed the back of her head, embarrassed. "...um...I-I'll go..." She rushed out of the room...and into two waiting youngsters.

The purple dragon tapped a claw on the floor, unable to properly give a stern look to the two ponies that landed on top of him. "...you know, I've heard of running into ponies, but this is ridiculous." He squeezed out from underneath them, dusting himself off before turning to the larger white unicorn. "Miss Scratch, are the results ready?"

Vinyl coughed softly, getting off of Silver Spoon before consulting her phone. "...let's see..." She began counting the votes, pausing on a strange comment. "...no...just, just no...why did you put that, 'AlphaThroughZeta'!?" She groaned, continuing to count the votes. She stopped once, reading the name 'Slendermane', glancing around with fear. "...no...he's just an old pony's tale...there's no way he's real..." She only halted the counting once more, blushing slightly. "...um...thanks for the vote?"

Eventually, she got to the last one, sighing softly. "The winner, with ninety to thirty-nine, is..." She pointed with a hoof, smirking slightly. "You." E, no author comments right now! You Pinkie Promised!

And so, there were no accidental mid-chapter author comments.

Spike stared at the hoof, inches from his face and pointing right between his eyes. "...I won?" He grinned widely, pumping his fist in the air. "I won!" He turned to Silver Spoon, a serious look on his face. "You remember our agreement, Spoon. Meet me in the basement so we can discuss your...predicament." After a nod from the filly, he turned and went down the stairs.

Vinyl, confused, shrugged and went upstairs, late for a date with 'War of the Worlds'.

Spike sat in the basement of the shared apartment, waiting for the silver filly to enter. He glanced at the two stone pegasi, wondering just why they were there. Looking up, he stared at the newly-replaced glass bulbs. He didn't understand how they worked, but Vinyl made them and said that they worked better than candles. Honestly, he had to agree, though he still didn't understand why she kept them on all the time.

"...Spike?"

He turned around, surprised not to see the earth pony he was expecting, but rather, his white unicorn friend. He grinned at her before motioning to a nearby stack of hay. "Please, Sweetie, join me." He chuckled at the pinkish tint that colored her cheeks, watching her seat herself right next to him. "I have to thank you. Having that rap battle was the only way I'd get Silver Spoon to listen to me!"

Sweetie's blush disappeared, a look of bafflement slowly replacing the sheepish smile on her face. "...what did I do?"

He blinked, staring right at her. "That morning, you gave me the reason to rap against her...didn't you?"

The unicorn shook her head, thinking back to that day. "...no...I was crusading with Applebloom and Scootaloo...that is, until we got news of the rap battle..."

Spike and Sweetie sat in silence with their eyes closed, pondering this strange fact. Suddenly, Sweetie's eyes shot open, her mouth forming an 'o' of surprise. "...now it all makes sense..." She got up and raced up the stairs and out of the building, leaving behind a confused dragon.

I apologize for the odd thing where my story was bumped to the featured box early. ^^; I hit the publish button on accident too early...so yeah, I'll be honest, I'm scrambling to type this out right now. >.<;; I don't want this deleted, especially after all the effort that went into it...

Anyways! Next chapter will be a Q&A one for the rappers so far. (No hate comments, please - those will just be deleted.) Just so you know. And also, the reasons why they (the school-age fillies and colts) had rap battles will be made clear right before the 13th rap battle.

Oh, and comment number three thousand gets to decide who Lyra raps against (can't be Derpy or Ditzy. sorry).

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Q&A #1

The camera turns on, revealing a black void. For a few seconds, this is all that can be seen, until, finally, someone opened the door, letting in a little light. The sound of shuffling hooves could be heard, as well as a loud thump. "Ouch! Who the hoof put that there?!"

The lights suddenly flashed to life, revealing a white unicorn sitting behind a turntable-painted desk, with a chair and a couch located adjacent to it. She grinned, nonchalantly readjusting her shades. "Aw, yeah! I finally got it working!" She looked around, a hint of a frown playing across her face. "...where is she?" She pulled out her phone, quickly using her magic to get to a special app. With a deep breath, she cried out into the device.

"EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP: SPECIAL Q&A CHAPTER!"

She paused momentarily, continuing with what may as well have been an afterthought. "NOW PAGING THE MARSHMALLOW! GET YOUR FLANK IN HERE!"

Another white unicorn, this one upset and holding an ear in pain with her magic, trot over, gracefully seating herself. "I was on my way, darling. You didn't have to blast it through those things you call 'speakers'. Also," she gave an even-tempered stare, "I will not tolerate being called a 'marshmallow'. My name is Rarity, so please call me that." She smirked a bit, narrowing her eyes. "Unless you'd like me to call you 'Scratchy'?"

Vinyl tilted her head, an eyebrow quirked. "That's my name, isn't it? Anyways!" She slammed a hoof onto the table, beaming. "You have a question!" She motioned to the white wall behind them, which immediately sprang to life, showing a line of words:

If it's not too personal, Octavia, how did you come to stay with Twilight?

And if it is too personal, Rarity, how was the beach party?

Rarity blinked, turning to look at the other unicorn. "Pardon me, but this also seems to be a question for Octavia."

Vinyl waved a hoof dismissively, grinning. "She'll answer hers next. For now, yours is first!"

Rarity pursed her lips, trying to recall the events of that afternoon. "I remember laying on a towel, sunbathing. The sun feels wonderful on one's fur, after all. After that..." She smiled sheepishly, tapping her forehooves over the edge of the bed. "...well, that was it, actually. I fell asleep."

"And it was hilarious the next day!" The pink pony suddenly sprang up between the two, flailing her forelegs comically. "She was as red as one of Applejack's apples! She forgot the sun block!" She fell over, laughing hysterically.

Rarity's cheeks flushed as she began muttering to herself. "I thought we agreed never to speak of that again." She got up and marched out, the other mare bouncing along happily behind her.

Vinyl decided not to tell them how she'd placed a microphone in the chair's upholstery. They were sensitive enough to catch Fluttershy's quietest squeak. "Okay! Next up is Octavia!"

The grey mare entered slowly, eyeing the camera with a suspicious curiosity. She sat down, an exasperated look on her face. "I'll just answer the question. Miss Sparkle was a good friend of mine ever since the Grand Galloping Gala. I'd lost all credibility that night, and she tried to make it up to me."

"...Octy?" Vinyl dodged the hoof swipe from her roommate, smirking slightly. "That's not what they meant."

Octavia blinked, her ire momentarily forgotten. "...then what do they-" Realization struck her like a lightning bolt, causing her body to stiffen and her cheeks to become rosy. "...oh. No, I don't think of Miss Sparkle like that at all. She's a good friend - nothing more." With that, Octavia stood up and walked away.

Hushed voices could be heard off-stage. "Come on, Fluttershy! Get out there!" Soon, a yellow, trembling pegasus appeared, being guided forward by her other pegasus friend. It took a bit, but they got the timid mare to take a seat, her prismatic-haired friend sitting close by on the couch.

"Alright, then." She smiled kindly at her friend, before noticing the new accessory on the pegasus's head. "Where did you get those goggles, 'Shy? They seem high-tech..."

The mare scrambled to snatch the eyewear from her head and hide it from view, trembling slightly. "Nowhere. They aren't important. What's my question?"

She stared at her for a few seconds, unconvinced. Finally, she just shook her head, gesturing to the wall behind them. "Here's what they had for you, Fluttershy."

If it is ok with you, I would like to ask fluttershy how to get this full grown dragon off my front lawn.

She stared at it for a moment, confused and worried. "...oh...my..." She turned to the white unicorn, concern in her eyes. "...have they tried...talking to it? Maybe...the dragon can be reasoned with?"

"Nah!" The two ponies jumped in surprise at the sudden outburst from the cyan mare. "You just gotta teach them a lesson! Show them that you don't take kindly to intruders!"

Vinyl frowned at her, annoyed by her for some reason. "Dash, the question wasn't for you."

Fluttershy stood up, glancing nervously at the unicorn. "I have to go. Sorry." She walked away, quietly singing to herself. "It's a brand new day, yeah, the sun is high. All the angels sing..." She was out of range of the microphones before the next part could be picked up.

Rainbow, curious and confused, rushed after her friend.

Vinyl stared after them, frowning silently. She looked down, re-organizing a few index cards and mumbling to herself. "...bucking lucky mare..." Her head snapped up so quickly her glasses flew off and landed on the desk, revealing her shocked expression. "...the microphones...no..." She awkwardly cleared her throat, scrambling to put her shades back on and glancing at her cards to help get her back on track. "Up next, we have Discord!"

A panel opened up, revealing the sun. Thankfully, it was dimmed down, allowing the Spirit of Chaos to be seen clearly. He chuckled, resting his head on his mismatched forelimbs. "Ah, I do enjoy randomness!"

Vinyl coughed softly, holding a card up to read aloud. "Here is your question!"

Discord how is it in your new home and did you get a warm welcome?

He laughed, causing the hostess to worry slightly. "I quite enjoy it! Still, I miss being free." He smirked, his eyes narrowing slightly. "You'll see me again soon, Vinyl Scratch. You can bet on that." With that, the panel closed, hiding the once-more blindingly bright light.

"MY EYES!!"

Vinyl stared at the doorway, seeing a gray-purple unicorn filly running past, tears and smoke flowing from her eyes. She sweatdropped, turning to her notes once more. "Now, it's Diamond Tiara!"

The prideful little filly trot into the room, sitting down and staring up at the unicorn, a bored look on her face. "What do you have for me? I'll bet it's a great question. After all, it's about me! I'll answer anything!" She emphasized that last point with a wide gesture, smugly smiling. She quite obviously enjoyed attention.

Vinyl rolled her eyes behind her glasses, smirking for the umpteenth time that day. "If you say so, Ti. Here's your question."

Hm... a question eh? Well, this one's for... Diamond Tiara. What did you mean by

The other one glared at her rival, annoyed. "So how'd yer tryout go?"
She waved her hoof dismissively. "They said I was too young. The nerve of-" She stopped, looking up at the shocked unicorn in front of her. "...oops."

? Did you really tryout? And for what?

The speed at which the blush covered her face would've made even Rainbow Dash jealous. Turning to the DJ, she put on her best cute-sad face. "...I don't really have to answer that, do I?"

She laughed, shaking her head. "You did say you would 'answer anything', Ti! So, what's your answer?"

Tiara fidgeted, trying to think of a way out of answering the question. Finally realizing there was no avoiding it, she hung her head, groaning softly. "...I tried out for a position at Playcolt magazine..."

Vinyl sat there, her shades sliding down her nose a bit. Anyone who was looking could see her eye twitching violently. "...Ti, I know you're about to be eighteen, but come on! Why the buck would you do that!?"

She squirmed in her seat, tears coming to her eyes. "...I...I..." She sprang up and ran off, crying in shame.

Vinyl groaned, rubbing her head in pain. "...I need a break..." Stepping out from behind the desk, she moved over to the couch, laid down on her belly.

A rust-red pegasus walked in, grabbing the chair with his teeth and moving it near Vinyl's head. He sat down and, carefully removing her shades, began to massage her head.

Sighing in relief as the ache began to ebb, she opened her eyes and looked up, magenta eyes locking with maroon. She blinked once before grinning, recognizing him immediately. "E! Good to see you, dude!" She hoped up, wrapping him in a delighted hug and playfully ruffling his brown mane.

He chuckled, gently patting her back. "I can say the same, Vi." He smiled at her, a slightly mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "I hear you have some questions."

She nervously giggled, rubbing the back of her head. "Yeah, I do."

"Well, here they are!" He gestured to the wall, smiling happily as words began to form.

Where the hell did you get a cell phone and a motorcycle Vinyl Scratch?...............

anyway I'm confused on how Vinyl is able to use a cell phone and motorcycle with her hooves, also Spike/Sweetie Belle?

She looked at the questions, unamused. "...I manipulate them with magic. After all, I made them." The red pegasus gave her a deadpan look. "...alright, so I only made the motorcycle. The cell phone was more of a gift from someone else."

E nodded, smiling genially. "Glad you're being honest." He stayed seated, watching his friend sit on the other side of the desk once more. "And I'll assume the rest of the questions are for me?"

Vinyl grinned cheekily, nodding. "Yeah, dude. Here's your first two!" The wall behind them lit up once more, showing the two separate quotes.

Man, what is up with Silver Spoon? And Sweetie? I NEED TO KNOW!

Seriously, what happened to Silver spoon?

E tapped his chin, thinking for a bit. "...I don't know for sure, but I think she was watching something involving somepony named 'Vash'..." At that point, the gray filly rushed in, shaking her head fervently, her eyes wide in horror. "...uh...never mind?" She gave him an appreciative smile, walking off. He turned to Vinyl, smirking slightly. "Her cutie mark doesn't stand for pretentiousness. It stands for collecting."

She stared at him, confused. "...like...a spoon collection?"

He shrugged, his smile refusing to vanish. "I suppose so, but it's not limited to that. After all, there's a reason she has that headband with a metal plate on it."

The DJ was about to ask him to elaborate, but, noticing the clock on the wall, decided there wasn't enough time. "Next question, then."

How do you guys like my weeping pegasus
Now my question, why are there so many shippings?

He looked at it for a long while, wearing his best poker face. "...honestly? I have too many ships, and this is the best way to get them out there. Need to express them in some way, after all." He flashed her a smile.

Vinyl laughed, hugging E around his shoulders. "That is just so pathetic!" Ignoring the slight pout on his face, she motioned to someone off-camera. "Last question!"

Hey who is that stallion with the beanie from the last rap battle chapter?? He was just a random!! (submitted via PM)

He frowned, facehoofing hard. "...darn it, I knew somepony would notice..." He sighed, looking up with a somewhat-defeated expression. "That was the OC of a good friend of mine. I call the OC Nostalgia, but he didn't really give him a name. That's all you need to know." He sighed, getting up and heading toward the door. He paused, looking over his shoulder at his friend. "Oh, and Vi?"

She blinked, stopping her card-shuffling to look at him. "Yeah, E?"

A mischievous smile appeared on his face. "You're still a virgin, right?" He playfully stuck his tongue and laughed, running out the room as she flung the notecards at him.

She leaned back, crossing her forehooves, knowing that an embarrassed blush was visible on her cheeks. "...baka..."

Please note that my OC is only going to be here for the Q&A chapter(s). Also, the next two (three?) rap battles are being worked on. I hope to hear from my friend soon so I can work on the next one a bit more...also, can you find the hidden reference(s)? Also, this is #1 because I'm thinking of having more of these thingies, if they're popular enough.

Please remember to check out my blog, and have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

P.S. There was a question that wasn't answered. I understand that it's a little upsetting, Mr. Blahman, but I can't have them answer that one right now. The question?

When you started to do rap battles, was it partly because it looked fun the way the adult ponies did it? (question directed towards the colts and fillies for the Q&A

As for why I can't let them answer it? I'll tell you next chapter.

Rap Battle #13

Sweetie ran into the den, glad to see all of her friends there. Though, to be honest, she wasn't as happy with the fact that a certain headpiece-wearing filly was there, but she probably had vital information in that selfish mind of hers.

Everypony jumped in surprise when the white filly jumped up on a speaker. "Everyone! I wanted to know - who here was talked into a rap battle by somepony else?" Seeing hooves tenatively raised into the air, she nodded, a frown on her face. "I thought so..."

Spike rushed up behind her, confused. "Sweetie, what's going on? What are you talking about?"

She didn't answer, instead pointing at Trixie. "Who gave you the idea to do a rap battle? When did they do that?"

The ex-showmare blinked, processing the question for a few moments. "...Trixie was still...camping...in the Everfree forest..."

Trixie groaned, her stomach rumbling from hunger. She stared up at the tree above her, the grey fruit taunting her. "...ripen, darn you..."

A snap of a twig quickly brought her out of her...focus. Turning around, she came face-to-face with a pink pony with poofy hair. "Hiya! Why are you so down, Lulamoon?"

Trixie blinked, confused. "...how do you know my last name? Trixie never said it to anypony before!"

"Oh, that doesn't matter right now!" She giggled before stepping closer, a serious look on her face. "Have you seen the Foal Free Press lately?"

"...the what now?" Trixie was starting to get uneasy around this strange mare. She took a step back as a newspaper was flung at her feet. Glancing at the headline, her jaw dropped. "...n-no way..." She grabbed it with her hooves and began reading, her eyes slowly growing wider with every word. "H-how could anypony do this!? This is an invasion of my privacy!"

"If I were you, I'd think about revenge."

Trixie glanced up at the pink pony, shivering slightly from how serious she looked. "I-I could never do that. B-besides, I'm fairly certain that 'Gabby Gums' is a pen name."

"True, but what about the photographer?" She indicated the name, right underneath the photo. "It wasn't Gabby who took the photo - all she did was speculate. This pegasus, on the other hand..."

Trixie was starting to tear up. What? She is brave enough to admit it! "...w-who is this...F-Featherweight?"

"Then she described him to Trixie and left. Trixie didn't think much of it until...well, until she saw him." She grimaced, glancing at the tan pegasus she rapped against. "...she apologizes for that, again..."

He waved a hoof, smiling kindly at her. Applebloom wrapped her forelegs around his barrel, staring at Trixie with uncertainty.

For her part, the ex-showmare quietly engrossed herself with the pinecone she was currently eating. Old habits died hard, after all.

Sweetie, meanwhile, had moved on to the next pony. "How about you, Fluttershy? What motivated you to rap against Screwball?"

Fluttershy, who had hidden herself behind a large vase, squeaked in surprise, glancing around nervously. "...um...you see..."

Fluttershy immediately turned around to see that Screwball, a pony whom seemed to have stayed in Ponyville despite the end of Discord’s (rather short) reign, had ran into her chicken coop, again, but it was now broken down.

“...oh...my...” She shuffled her hooves nervously, unable to look at the floating earth pony.

Said pony was looking down at the damage done, a distant smile on her face. "You should really rethink where you put that!"

The shy pegasus shifted again, watching as the mare left her property. "...i-it's alright...I was planning on moving it anyways..."

"Fluttershy!"

She turned around and found herself face-to-face with Scootaloo. She blinked, staring at the filly for a few moments. "...aren't you supposed to be crusading with your friends? I mean, unless I'm mistaken..."

The orange filly waved a hoof. "Not important right now. What is important is that you need to stand up for yourself! Challenge her to a rap battle!"

Fluttershy was about to (kindly) shoot that idea down, but then she remembered what a certain minotaur said. "...if somepony treats you like a clown...use your rhymes to take them down!" She thought for a moment before sheepishly adding a couple more words. "...a peg..."

Sweetie gave a curt nod, thinking back to that day. "...Scootaloo was with us all day..." She quickly turned to the dragon behind her, an eyebrow raised in curiosity. "What about you, Spike? Surely there was a reason you wanted to rap against Silver Spoon?"

He stepped back, not really expecting the unicorn to ask him that. "...well, yeah...like I told you, you - or, I guess, someone who looked like you - said that Spoon would be a better pony, if only she could stand on her own and not need to follow Tiara like a...a..."

"Lost puppy?"

"Yeah, that." He shrugged, still confused. "Where are you going with this, Sweetie Belle?"

Alas, she had shifted her attention to the pink, crown-wearing filly, so she didn't pay his question any mind. "Tiara, normally you have some sort of hidden agenda when you pick on us. What was the reason behind your rap battle?"

Tiara sat on the stairs, eating a daisy sandwich. Wait, no, that's not right. Make that a-

You know what? It doesn't matter.

Anyways, she watched as the object of her venomous hatred was chatting with another member of their ridiculous club. Apparently, the other one said something embarrassing, because that little red-head started blushing and turned her gaze to that gangly pegasus.

"It seems that Apple Booty has a crush."

Tiara looked to her left, seeing her faithful friend there. Her presence always made her smile. "Hello, Silver Spoon!" She blinked, suddenly realizing what exactly was said. "...wait, what? Really?"

The silver filly smirked, gesturing to the pegasus. "Maybe you can use that to your advantage. Challenge her to a rap battle and have him as the prize!"

Tiara soon gained a sinister smile of her own. "Oh, that's an excellent idea, Silver Spoon."

Without missing a beat, Sweetie gave all of her attention to the only spotted colt in the room. "Pip, who talked you into it? Exactly what happened?"

Pipsqueak thought for a moment, tapping his chin. "...well..."

Silence overtook the room as everypony stared at each other. The only one who wasn't looking around was the purple dragon, but that was because he was doodling a white unicorn on a piece of paper.

"H-hey, P-Pipsqueak."

The spotted colt turned to face the ashen purple unicorn, curious as to why she was whispering. "...yes?"

"M-maybe you s-should give it a t-try. Who k-knows, it may b-be fun!"

He raised an eyebrow, thinking about it. "...sure, but...who would I do it with?"

The unicorn giggled softly, pointing to an orange pegasus nearby. "Ask S-Scootaloo. I'm s-sure she'd d-do it with you!"

Pipsqueak stared at the magenta-maned filly, tilting his head slightly. Soon enough, he came to a decision. Grinning, he stood up, raising a hoof.

"I'd like to have a rap battle, then!"

Sweetie rubbed the sides of her head, groaning. "There's something wrong with that story...but Pipsqueak isn't one to lie..." She leaned down and clopped her forehooves in front of the wisteria-colored unicorn, trying to get her attention. "Dinky, is what he said true?"

She blinked, looking up at the white Crusader in confusion. "...y-yes, it is. W-why are you a-asking me?"

Sweetie leaped off the speaker, a decisive look on her face. "It is clear to me what's going on." She got right up in the other pony's face, scowling. "You. Are. Not. Dinky. I know voices, and yours is incorrect."

The rest of the room clamored in outrage, but, this time, it was the long-legged, tan pegasus behind her who spoke up, immediately catching everypony's eyes. "Sweetie's right." He walked up to the younger pony, a sad frown on his face. "...my sister doesn't have a stutter...and she lisps."

The pony's eye twitched, a growl escaping her grit teeth. "...Discord...you should've been more specific than just 'speech impediment'..." A cruel smile formed on her lips, glaring up at them. "Congratulations, you figured it out. You can't stop us. We already know all about you." She turned to Spike, smirking. "Your loves." She faced Silver Spoon, now. "Your secrets." Featherweight. "Your family." Diamond Tiara. "And your desires."

"I challenge you."

They all stared at the small white unicorn, shocked by her words. Slowly, she stepped forward, eyes fierce. "I win, you give us back Dinky. You leave Equestria and take your Changelings with you."

The purple filly's eyebrow quirked, her snide smile still presiding on her lips. This was hiding her curiosity over how Sweetie knew about the Changelings surrounding town. "And if I win?"

Sweetie looked around, meeting her friends' gazes. She gulped silently, turning back towards the other pony with a rather worried expression. "...if you win, you can do what you want. But," she held up a hoof, narrowing her eyes, "You have to promise not to cheat in any way. Deal?"

The Dinky look-alike tilted her head, a green flame engulfed her for around ten seconds before finally fading away, revealing a large black creature, her emerald eyes glaring down at the white filly. She took the hoof with her own, speaking in a voice filled with venom. "Deal."

Now one may be thinking 'what did Vinyl have to say about this?'. The answer to that? Nothing. She was nowhere to be seen, after having gone to get some records from the now-dark basement.

"Fluttershy, are you sure this is alright?"

Currently, a familiar purple unicorn sat at the turntables, in front of a crowd of worried ponies. It seemed the whole town had returned by now, and even the sun had dimmed, showing that Discord, himself, was watching as well.

The timid mare nodded, smiling softly. "Don't worry, I'm sure it'll be...nice." Her smile quickly became sheepish, quickly leaving the platform and joining the crowd down below.

The faithful student sighed, rubbing the side of her head. "...thank Celestia Vinyl gave me lessons..." Her horn lit up, transforming the stage around the two rappers.

Meanwhile, said rappers were glaring at each other so fiercely, they didn't notice the magical special effects spawning around them.

The lavender mare stood there for the longest time, trying to calm herself. Searching the crowd, a familiar pair of compassionate teal eyes caught her own violet ones. Smiling bashfully, she straightened up and put on the music, determined to do her best for her secret crush.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

I see mini-marshmallow has come out to play.
Too bad she messes up when she does things her way.
I'm amazed that you can cause mass destruction -
All beginning with just a small spool of ribbon!
You can have every word ever made, Dictionary.
It still won't be enough to stop this visionary!
You really thing you have the slightest chance of victory?
You'd have better luck bucking a zap apple tree!

Time to teach this bug a lesson, and she'd better learn.
You're the moth, I'm the flame, now let's see you burn!
Let's flip through my pages and find a synonym
For 'crushed Changeling queen' when Sweetie takes the win!
Think about what you're doing, Miss Perforated.
Would your sisters be glad that you've become so jaded?
You fail at all you do and Canterlot is proof.
I'll stomp on you and scrape the mess off my hoof!

Just how are you gonna battle against me, you foal?
I'm a fire ruby - you aren't even a lump of coal.
You shouldn't have dared to follow this course.
You see, there's a reason why I'm called Bad Horse!
I can read you as easily as one can swim in a lake.
Should I mention your feelings towards a certain drake?
I see you're trying real hard, but it's just no use.
I'll mess you up worse than your toast and your juice!

We all know you're lying just to save your ugly flank.
You want the captain all to yourself, you skank!
I'd prefer a relationship from friendship and trust.
You can keep your system of fake love and lust!
I'll take a Daedric sword and chop you into small bits,
Then kick the remains into a bottomless pit!
If I could travel through dimensions, one fact would ring true -
The saddest joke that I'll ever know will be you!

Who has rap skills with the force of Tartarus?
Is it Sweetie Derelle? Nope! Chrysalis!
Sure, you can sing, but you can't rap worth jack.
Right now, you sound just like 'Becca Black!
You see, Dumb Belle, I don't have to try anything funny
'Cause I'd give Buck Norris a run for his money!
You're supposed to be smart, but I just don't see it.
I'm beating you so hard, you're about to rage quit!

I can't burn the land or boil the sea,
But I'll clip your wings and take your sky completely!
You'll be falling down hard on the concrete, C,
Then wake up to curse both gravity and Sweetie!
I'll make you take arrows to all of your knees.
You'll have no choice but to give the win to me!
You give me lemons, but I won't make lemonade.
I'll use them to burn the sad rhymes that you made!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

This chapter's rap battles are thanks to Twilightclopple! I'm so glad I finally got this out there! :D Two and a half weeks of work finally paid off!~ Also, Buck Norris = Chuck Norris. Slightly ponified name. And 'Becca Black should be fairly obvious.

"Too bad you can't focus on your studies that well."

...please be quiet, Vi...oh, and if this isn't up to your 'standards', let me point out that Chrysalis was being a stubborn, uncooperative mule, and Sweetie is just a filly. So please, judge neither me nor them.

Anyways, I'll probably be doing collegework for a while. At least until I get a healthy routine down.

But first, AnimeCon! BUCK YEAH!

"Aww, yeah! E, 'Shy and I are gonna have fun! Auron, Dr. Adorable, and Sonya Blade!"

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #13: Results and Aftermath

Trixie was seated outside of the missing musician's apartment, attempting to affix plentiful pieces of timber tightly together with well-placed wallops, courtesy of an iron hammer. Sighing softly, she paused momentarily to examine her work so far.

The work on her new home/stage/personal TARDIS/super-ultra-extreme-awesomazing gift shop was going swimmingly. And with her two new friends and volunteers, it should be done before nightfall. Yes, they actually offered to help, no words or other forms of persuasion necessary.

"Ah got yer stage's platform done, Miss Lulamoon!"

Trixie blushed, tipping the brim of her temporary hat over her face to hide said fact. That name always embarrassed her to no end. "Thank you, Apple Blossom."

The yellow filly looked up at her, confused and a little annoyed. "It's Applebloom." She walked over to the other helper, nudging him in the side to get his attention. "Are ya sure she's a nice pony? She looks at ya kinda funny..."

The gangly colt glanced over at the unicorn mare, but, thankfully, she was busy sewing together curtains. He sighed, gently placing the hammer down so he could speak properly. "I know it seems weird, but she has a good heart. She just needs somepony as her friend, that's all. Besides," he lovingly nuzzled the filly, a playful smile on his face, "I have you."

She blushed, leaning forward and kissing him gently on the cheek. "Ya have a way with words, ya know that, Featherweight?"

Trixie had chosen that precise moment to glance up from her work, her face scrunched up in indignation. "Get a room,you two!"

Of course, this just led to the school ponies' blushes intensifying, scrambling to get back to work as quickly as possible. Trixie only sighed, getting back to her sewing, recalling a time when she was as happy as they were. She sniffed, wiping a solitary tear from her eye, scowling slightly at herself. "...stupid...nopony should see Trixie...me...cry..."

Spike sat down, calmly and quietly eating a bowl of baby blue sapphires. Sweetie had said they were a gift from Rarity, and she surely wouldn't lie, right?

Across from him sat a familiar silver filly, nervously glancing up at him. "...why do you want to talk to me, d-dragon?"

He raised an eyebrow, curious about her sudden stutter. "You know why. You have to look at this practically."

Her expression quickly became pained, tears forming in her eyes. "...p-please, no..."

His gaze became soft, looking into her violet eyes. "It's for the best. After all, you don't want to be considered-"

"I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY MANGA COLLECTION!!" She gasped for breath after her outburst, soon realizing that he wasn't just staring at her with shock. No, his eyes were filled with repressed humor. She shrank into her seat, blushing profusely. "...this isn't about that, is it?"

"Not even close." He sighed, scooting closer and wrapping an arm around her comfortingly. "Look, I understand how you think Tiara is going to always be there for you. How she seems like the only pony who gets you. The thing is, you are mistaken." He held up a hand, silencing her outburst before it could even begin to form in her mind. "It's not your fault. She has been telling you lies. She probably told you that being mean to ponies was the only way to be popular. What would she know about popularity? She has infamy - a bad thing. She makes fun of ponies if they just look at her funny. How do you suspect she'd react to your collection?"

The little filly sat there for a long moment, silently contemplating his words. Finally she closed her eyes, a single tear rolling down her cheek, landing on the dragon's claws. "...what do I do? She...she's the only friend I've ever had..."

He tilted her chin up, allowing her to see the compassionate smile on his lips. "Don't worry. I'll be your friend." He gently hugged her, softly whispering into her ear. "I've seen how you treat ponies when Tiara's not around. You give them food, clothes...heck, you even gave Lyra a new lyre." He pulled back enough to look into her eyes, a determination in his own. "You have a kind heart. You just have to let everypony else see it."

A warmth took root in her heart, setting her cheeks ablaze with its intensity. "...thank you, Spike..."

He chuckled, giving her one more hug. "No problem, Silver Spoon."

Darkness. All she could see is darkness. A click, and her flashlight switched on with a blinding light. Glancing around, she could tell she was in a factory of some kind. It was also raining. Hard. She turned to her three companions. The large unicorn stallion wearing a whistle and sports shirt was currently bandaging himself up, having been given a slight reprieve from the enemy, thanks to the lift.

Another, a teen-aged dragon, of all creatures, was currently holding a hoofball bat in his claws, glancing around while shifting slightly in his fancy white suit. She gave a small smile, thankful that he had almost always been there to save her whenever the foe overwhelmed her.

A sobbing could be heard drifting over the grinding of their enclosure. Her eyes widened, immediately realizing what that meant.

"Y'all better kill ya lights." Their last member, a rather short pegasus wearing a hoofball cap, quickly followed his own advice, and everything was once again dark.

Eventually, the lift reached the top and the doors opened, only to reveal the source of the crying noise just inches in front of them. There, curled up in a ball, was a diamond dog in rags, though, if one were to take a closer look, they'd realize they were no longer a regular creature. Its fur was falling out in places, and the fur on the top of its head had become long enough to cover its face.

"Witch." She silently moved along a wall, trying to avoid the infected creature. Just a little more, and then we can make a run for-

"Sweetie!"

With a cry of shock, the little filly lost her magical grip on the controller, dropping it and causing her character to shoot of a single shotgun round. This was enough to alert the enemy, and she quickly attacked, incapacitating her.

Sweetie groaned, pausing the game and turning to the purple unicorn that had interrupted her. "...yes, Twilight?"

She smiled at the filly, nodding her head towards the door. "You ready to hear the results?"

Sweetie sighed, getting up with exaggerated annoyance. An act that was betrayed by the mischievous gleam in her eye. "I am. Let's go, come on!" She rushed through the opening and past a chuckling mare who quietly followed.

Twilight, Fluttershy and Octavia sat between the Changeling Queen and the stubborn white filly. Twilight glanced at her two friends, noticing the timid pegasus's intense fascination with a ball with bands of rubber wrapped around it, as well as the gray mare's indifferent gaze.

The other two, however, were locked in an intense staring contest, daring the other to blink first and show who was superior.

Clearing her throat, Twilight stepped in between them, giving an uneasy smile. "So! Time for results!" She pulled out Vinyl's phone, which she left in the basement for some odd reason. Clicking through the menu, she counted up the votes, ignoring the ones that were just too odd. Finally, she looked up, and, pointing at the small white unicorn, smiled. "Sweetie won."

The little filly leaped up in joy, a cry of elation escaping her. "Yay!" She turned to the queen, who was frowning down at her. "I won. So you have to tell us were Dinky is and then leave. Got that?"

The black figure growled, but, knowing she didn't have a choice, stood and moved to the door, pausing just outside it and turning her head, smirking. "You'll find her where those two foals found the elements." With that, she took off, leaving behind a confused filly and three concerned mares.

Octavia stood up, sighing softly. "I'll go find her. You three have to stay here and take care of things." She marched off to the Everfree Forest, having been told about it before by the bookish unicorn.

The other three stood in silence, staring at each other without a clue as to what they could do next. Eventually, the yellow pegasus spoke up tentatively. "...the spa?"

The others nodded and, soon, they were off to get some relaxation.

Okay, so the reveal was kinda odd, but hey, she's not Vinyl. She's bound to make mistakes and act differently.

"...can't believe you let the Weeping Pegasi catch me..."

Sorry, but I thought it'd be interesting to let somepony else DJ for a bit. It wasn't Pinkie - be glad of that. Especially since she leaves your records all sticky.

Anyways, I made some friends at AnimeFest. Maybe it was because I was wearing a Soarin' cosplay. You should have seen this one girl. She saw me and started hyperventilating, and, from what her friend said, it was because I was dressed as I was, with a Wonderbolt jacket from Hot Topic and a Vinyl Scratch headband from the con.

Oh, and I need a title card for Golden Harvest for the next rap battle. Until then, I'll just be doing 'Alternate Aftermaths' of battles 4, 6, 8, 10, 12 and 13. Because I have nothing else right now. And I also have college. Which is probably why parts of this feel rushed. And, oh yeah, I'M GOING TO A BUCKING FOREIGNER CONCERT!! :DD

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

A solitary figure stood outside between two buildings, watching the gray mare leave the residence and head out of town. Slowly a grin began to grow on her face, blue eyes piercing through the shadows that hid her. "Soon..." She stepped back into the darkness of the alley, letting it envelop her as she did so...

Rap Battle #6: Alternate Aftermath

Vinyl groaned, slowly opening her eyes once more. "...this is going to be a recurring theme, isn't it?" She sighed, trying to stand up only to gasp slightly, realizing she was right on top of Sugar Cube Corner. How did nopony notice I was up here!?

Glancing down, she saw a group of about five ponies sitting at a table below her. She smirked, recognizing her signature manestyle in the group, as well as the grey and aquamarine mares seated there. I know this! This was when Ditzy and Lyra were about to-

She paused her own thoughts, looking down at the group, certain she was missing something. She glanced at the chestnut stallion. ...Time Turner... Her attention turned to the two fillies on the other side of the table. ...Lyra Heartstrings...whispering to Bon Bon... She looked to the last, a grey pegasus. ...and Ditzy...that should be-

The tan earth mare turned to the grey pegasus next to her, smiling politely and speaking loud enough for Vinyl to hear (not that she knew that). "Isn't your sister supposed to be here, Ditzy?"

She rolled her eyes, resting her head against her hoof. "She's always late. As for the results...it doesn't really matter if she's here or not." She chomped on her muffin, huffing slightly in annoyance.

"I'm here!"

Vinyl's eyes widened in shock. That voice is coming from right be-

A split second later, she was rammed from behind and sent flying. She looked ahead and saw Quills and Sofas. She sighed in relief, bracing herself as she crashed through the roof. Soft landing, here I come.

Now, inside the store, there was no one. The owner was out for a lunch break and the store's display floor was almost entirely filled with sofas, leaving enough room for ponies to walk between them. They were more than capable of absorbing the impact of a falling pony if one were to land on any of them.

Let it also be noted that there was a cart-sized container of quills, and every single one of them was pointed upwards, since the restocker was new. As luck would have it, Vinyl landed in said bin, flank first.

Back at the restaurant, the group of five all turned to look just as a grey-and-yellow mass of fur and feathers crashed into the table next to theirs. The dazed pegasus carefully got up, a goofy grin on her face and both eyes fixed on the white unicorn. "My bad! Oh, and Miss Scratch, sorry for crashing into you a few seconds ago!"

She sat down on a bale of hay next to the other pegasus, grabbing the muffin left there on the table for her and ignoring the disc jockey's confused stare. She took a bite and gushed at the flavor. "Oh my gosh, blueberry, my favorite!" She squealed in happiness and ate the rest of it in in one gulp. "Anyways," she said, seemingly ignoring the scream of pain that emanated from the store across the street, even as it stole the attention of everypony else gathered there, "I got lost. Fluttershy's cottage is quite a ways away, after all."

Ditzy smiled softly at her sister, hugging her slightly lighter-colored twin softly. "It's alright, Derps. I'm glad you're here." She couldn't stay mad at her. She was just too adorable!

Vinyl coughed softly, catching everypony's attention. "If I may?" She quickly pressed the buttons on her phone, pulling up the screen and counting the votes. "...interesting. There were votes for Derpy, even though she didn't participate..."

Meanwhile, a nearby bush rustled, a pair of magenta eyes peeking out as the owner grumbled softly to herself and pulled yet another quill out of her flank.

"Actually..." The first grey pegasus mare rubbed the back of her head, embarrassed. "She did it for me. I can't rap."

"...o...kay, then..." Vinyl cleared her throat and continued speaking. "Now, having counted the votes, Lyra won."

The mare in the bush facehoofed, groaning softly. No, Derpy Hooves won! Wait, I mean Ditzy Doo, right? Or do I mean Derpy Doo? Ditzy Hooves? She growled, mussing up her hair in her ire. Gah! Twins are so confusing!!

"YES!" Lyra leaped up from her seat and around to the chestnut stallion, grinning widely. "If what you've said all this time is true, then you were once human, right?"

Turner blinked, greatly confused. "...I don't know what you're talking about, Miss Heartstrings."

She groaned, grabbing his head between her hooves. "You called yourself the Doctor! You have a bucking device that makes a strange noise when you press a button!" She quickly lit her horn up, pulling said device out of a saddlebag, also causing a watch to come out. Staring at it, curious, she placed the device down and lifted it up, instead. "...I thought you were like a living clock, Turner?"

Before the stallion could respond, the timepiece was snatched out of the magical aura. Lyra turned to the grey mare that stole it, her eyes glaring back at her. Well, one of them, anyways. "Ditzy! What the hoof!? I just wanted to-"

"THE DOCTOR SAID TO NEVER OPEN THIS UNLESS IT WAS AN EMERGENCY!" She paused, thinking for a bit. "He also said to never let him eat pears."

Everypony stared at her in shock, never expecting to see anger in her eyes. Nopony knew what to say. In the awkward silence, Turner tried to eat a certain green-skinned fruit, only to have it knocked out of his hooves by the still-fuming pegasus. He sighed, resting his head on the table.

Just then, a drop of brown liquid hit his nose. Looking up, he began to panic, seeing the bright pink clouds drifting in. "...uh oh..."

The mare in the bush slid her shades down, remembering just who was behind this strange interruption. That's when she felt the tugging sensation once more, just as the sun unexpectedly switched places with the moon.

As she was being yanked backwards once more, she could've sworn she heard somepony howling.

In What Shall Now Be Referred to as 'Universe Alpha'

A familiar purple dragon walked up to the Carousel Boutique, knocking gently on the fancy door. Normally, he'd be coming to visit Rarity, but it was a different white unicorn who invited him over.

The door opened soon enough, said filly smiling happily at him. "Thanks for coming over, Spike!" She moved aside, holding the door open for him.

When he went inside, all he could do was stare. In front of him was the fanciest piano he'd ever seen. Polished black finish, with high-quality keys, it was enough to make a lover of instruments orgasm. He strolled over, and, tapping a single key, heard the crisp note resonate, even through the closed top. Turning back to Sweetie, he raised an eyebrow, curious. "I assume this is the reason you asked me over here?"

She nodded, a soft blush coloring her cheeks. "Yes, and..." She motioned to the papers placed neatly on the piano's music stand. "...I-I heard you were a great piano player...so..."

He grinned at her, sitting down on the bench and stretching his claws. "You'd like me to play this song, right?" At the filly's nod, he turned his attention to the sheet music, carefully began playing. The notes came easily enough, airy yet with a moderate rhythm.

Sweetie carefully placed herself at the other side of the piano, closing her eyes as if preparing herself. Soon enough, she began to sing, her voice light yet strong, almost as if there was something more than an enjoyment of singing behind the words.

There's a song that's inside of my soul.

It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again

I'm awake in the infinite cold.

But you sing to me over and over and over again.

So, I lay my head back down.

And I lift my hooves and pray

To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours

I know now you're my only hope.

Sweetie began to move onto the piano, her eyes lidded, nearing Spike. The dragon, however, was too enveloped in playing the song and listening to her heavenly singing to notice her actions.

Sing to me the song of the stars.

Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again.

When it feels like my dreams are so far

Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again.

So I lay my head back down.

And I lift my hooves and pray

To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours

I know now, you're my only hope.

I give you my destiny.

I'm giving you all of me.

I want your symphony, singing in all that I am

At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back.

So I lay my head back down.

And I lift my hooves and pray

To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours

I pray, to be only yours

I know now, you're my only hope.

Spike finally glanced up, noticing that Sweetie was laying on top of the piano, her face mere inches away from his and her hooves holding her chin up. She smiled sweetly at him, sending a shiver up his spine that almost made him mess up. Almost.

Hmmmmm, hmmmmm, oooooh.

The baby dragon leaned forward, gently pressing his lips to hers. The filly closed her eyes, hoping that this moment would never end.

Sadly, it had to. The door swung open, making a loud bang as it hit the wall. The two teen-agers leaped in surprise, staring at the white mare now framed in the doorway. Her eye was twitching and her lips were set in a frown, having seen everything through the window.

Words could not express what the fashionista was feeling at that moment.

Okay, so this took less time than I thought it would. :\ If anyone can tell me what movie that last scene is referencing, they get to decide one of the characters who raps in the eighteenth rap battle. :3 And yes, in my story, Sweetie and Spike are teen-aged (given the condition that dragons can live for at least a millennium, and age is not a state of size).

"E, I took the liberty of asking somepony if they could help us make a video! I wonder when he'll reply?"

...anyways...I hope you enjoy this re-hash with a little extra added, and have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #14 and Rap Battle #7: Alternate Aftermath

Vinyl blinked, surprised she wasn't groggy at all this time around. "...maybe I'm starting to get used to it?"

She glanced around, confused by the sudden darkness. "...is it nighttime here? Or maybe it's just my shades?" She reached up, slowly curling her hoof around the frame and lifting it from her-

Vinyl froze, eyes wide in shock. She let go of her glasses and raised her foreleg to her face, just as the moon suddenly trade places with the sun. "...what...the...hoof?"

She no longer had hooves. If anything, the appendage in front of her looked like one of the drawings a certain sea-green pony had made. She turned it over, examining it in the purple filter of her glasses. Even though the glasses made everything darker, she could immediately tell that her fur - no, she didn't even have fur. Her skin was a dark brown, and the side where her... What did Lyra call them? Fingers? Whatever they were, the side they curled up into was a lighter color. She could also feel the weight of cloth on her body, but, from her view point, it was near impossible to see what she was wearing.

Slowly, she peered out of the alley she'd found herself in. In front of her was a familiar tree, which eased the panic that began in her heart. So if that's Twi's place... She glanced to the left, smiling proudly. ...then this one's mine! There was a window in front of her, so she decided to take a peek inside.

Another her - this universe's, most likely; seems like I'm skipping dimensions, anyways - sat in her comfy chair, a clear expression of nervousness on her face. Vinyl was glad to see that her hair was the same as before, but was surprised by the fact she was wearing a shirt that said 'Aerosmith' and shorts that were...well, really short.

A rather tall, peach-skinned figure was standing nearby, draped in the purest white dress Vinyl had ever seen, staring at the sun to make sure Discord (if this was, indeed, the time she assumed it was) didn't escape. Her flowing pastel-colored hair instantly made clear that this was the princess of the sun. How the hay does she stay up on two legs? Especially with those masses on her barrel!

Octavia and Fluttershy sat on the couch nearby, but weren't immediately recognizable as such. The former wore a white dress shirt with a black bow-tie and skirt, and had her raven-black mane held back out of her tan-skinned face with an elastic band. Sorta reminds me of AJ's tail. She was holding a book of music theory, glancing up occasionally to make sure the white bunny in the room stayed out of trouble.

The latter wore a loose canary-yellow sweater and...actually, it was hard to tell what was on her withers. The sweater almost completely covered her frail frame, down to her knees. She focused her teal eyes on her tea, hiding behind her pink mane in an attempt to not draw attention to herself.

Outside, it continued to rain chocolate milk out of pink cotton candy clouds.

Finally, the silence was broken, and by Celestia, no less. "Who won? I need to know."

Vinyl coughed softly, pulling out her phone and counting the votes, not wanting to make the powerful princess wait longer than necessary. Her eye twitched, having added up all the votes. "...Discord won..."

"Splendid!"

Another voice? Vinyl glanced around, confused. Why does that sound so familiar?

"I'll just make sure the precious people of Equestria keep doing rap battles! And if they refuse...well, let's just hope they don't refuse, hmm?"

Vinyl blinked, bemused. "...that's it? Really?"

Celestia became outraged, slamming her foreleg against a wall. "Discord! You want them to fight only so you can grow more powerful!"

"Ah, you see right through me, don't you?"

Vinyl was hyperventilating, eyes wide in shock. She remembered beating this guy once. Despite how calm she was, she knew it was only because he wasn't at full power. What can they possibly do!?

"Oh? And who are you supposed to be?"

She gasped and, in a state of panic, turned and uppercut the unknown character in the jaw. "SHORYUKEN!"

As the strangely-shaped figure (even by that dimension's standards) fell in an arc to the ground, unconscious, Vinyl felt the familiar pull and was wisked away once more.

Universe Alpha

Fluttershy quietly walked through the market, examining her list with a calm expression. "...Angel Bunny's been so good, lately...even when that loud, high-pitched scream woke him up last night...he deserves a nice salad..." She carefully put the list in her sack, a flash of worry crossing her face. "...I hope they have enough cherries..."

"WHAT DID YOU DO!?"

With a squeak of shock, she hid behind a nearby tent, peering out at two mares in a loud, intense debate. They gestured angrily, pointing accusing hooves at one another. Fluttershy had no idea what they were angry about, though. Maybe it had something to do with the smashed carts behind them? She quietly sneaked forward to hear better.

"...couldn't bear that mah fam'ly's goods taste better, huh? Ya had ta try 'n' frame me, too, didn'tcha, Golden!"

"The name's Carrot Top! And that's awfully specific, coming from you! I bet you did all of this, Jaquelin!"

"Don't call me that, ya varmint! I-" Suddenly, they both turned to stare at the approaching yellow pegasus. Grins began to form on their faces.

Needless to say, Fluttershy was becoming worried. "...um...h-hi?"

They turned to each other and then, with a decisive nod and a shared glare, rounded on the poor timid mare. "We want a rap battle!"

Soon enough, Fluttershy found herself back behind the turntables, watching the two earth ponies get ready to rap against each other, glaring and putting on their headsets. She sighed and turned her mike volume up. "Be unbiased be unbiased be unbiased..." She glanced at a camera that apparently appeared on the stage, and, with a nervous smile (not to mention a cute sound), began the music.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

I'm a carrot farmer, baby. I grow greens!
I'm certainly Ponyville's farming queen!
You can't win a rodeo, but claim to be superior?
You work with fruits, AJ, and those are clearly inferior.
Those sugar-filled apple treats are complete poison.
They'll make you fat like this mare, so you'd better run!
My carrots, however, are completely sugar-free!
And that, my friends, is a golden guarantee!

What th' hay, Golden?! Are ya pushin' yer wares?
Are ya really that bad, or completely unprepared?
Besides, our apples are clearly up on top.
Ya use yer carrots when ya feel tha need ta clop!
Filly, mah apples are mighty pleasin'.
Yer a ripe tree an' it's Applebuck Season!
Ya can sell all kindsa food, but it'll be for naught.
My fam'ly's farm is far more successful than yer plot!

Let's talk about families - I got some news.
I've had an Apple; he's related to you.
I had more to say, but I've got a field to tend.
It's a shame that I couldn't fit it all in!

Now listen here, missy, ya've gone too far!
Ah'd like ta end this, but Ah still don't know who ya are!
Carrot Top? Golden Harvest? What's yer name, anyway?
Ah only see ya in the background, never savin' the day
Ah'm the Element of Honesty, taking a stand!
At least three times Ah've helped save the land!
All of your nonsense; Ah'm tired of it, slacker.
Leave, 'fore Ah bring a Sweet Apple Massacre!

You don't get it, do you? I have a right to be bold.
I've got twenty-four karat harvests of gold!
Not my fault you haven't seen what I can do.
Hay, you never notice anything going on around you!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

...UM...IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND, THAT IS...

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Major props to SuperChaosKG and RLYoshi for helping make sure this battle could finally be done!

Also, trying my hand at using Source Filmmaker to make videos for these raps. It has born no fruit, yet. So please, if you're an animator or know an animator, please help us make this a reality! :D

Oh, and be sure to be as unbiased in your voting as possible. I really want to know who would win based on skill alone, and not on whether or not they're 'best pony'.

"Tom is best pony. Also, be sure to keep an eye out for a special bonus rap battle homage in the next chapter's comments!"

...I think that's all I need to say. :\

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #14: Results and Aftermath & Homage Rap Battle

A certain purple dragon peered around an apple tree, nervous. Making sure the coast was clear, he rushed across the plain in the middle of the orchard and into the small building. Glancing out the crack of the door and seeing nopony, he sighed in relief.

"I can't believe we have to sneak around like this, Spike."

He turned, facing the upset white unicorn he had grown to love. He calmly smiled, gently placing his palm on her cheek. "I know it's a little unconventional, but..." He kissed her, soft and chaste on her lips. "...you're worth it, Sweetie."

She blushed, shifting closer and embracing him. Still, she frowned, thinking about what happened a few days earlier. "...I couldn't believe sis did that to you...where did she even get that limber of a branch?"

Spike winced, trying to suppress the memory that came with that thought. "...I don't know...I still can't believe I felt that through my scales..."

Sweetie sighed, gently resting her head on his shoulder, careful of her horn. "I don't get it. Why was she so mad that we were kissing?"

He shrugged his unoccupied shoulder, trying his best not to disturb her. "Maybe she was jealous?" He smirked, thinking that was funny.

She didn't think it was funny. In fact, she was seriously considering that idea. "...I don't think that's it. She has a coltfriend, and he comes over a few times a month." She giggled. "They always go to her room and play a game. It must require a lot of hard thinking, since she groans every single time!"

His face blanched, his eye twitching slightly at the thought. "...sure..." He pulled a small, soft-bristled brush off of a nearby dresser, carefully bringing it through the filly's hair. He didn't know why, but this brought them both a sense of peace. "Let's just forget about her for now. It's just you and me...let's enjoy this while it lasts."

She only gave a small sigh and a blissful smile in response.

Meanwhile, at Carousel Boutique, the aforementioned pony sneezed twice.

The light blue stallion across from her paused, a concerned look on his face. "Are you okay, Rarity?"

She waved a hoof, laughing nervously. "It's nothing, darling. Now," she gazed at him with lidded eyes, leaning closer, "do continue."

He held her gaze for a while longer. Then, with a shrug, he moved his bishop into place, grinning cheekily. "Checkmate."

She groaned softly, resting her head on a forehoof. "Good game, dear." She got up, carefully putting the glass pieces back into their box.

He stood as well, stretching his wings. "You're getting better, Rarity. It took me four more moves to beat you this time."

She glanced at him, azure eyes catching emerald. Smiling coyly, she climbed onto her bed, flicking her tail playfully. "Come get your reward, big boy."

He didn't need to be asked twice. He climbed up just as Rarity opened the box with two perfect slices of apple pie.

Vinyl blinked, finding herself inside town hall. While this, in itself, wasn't odd, the fact the building was otherwise empty of ponies was. She looked around, confused and curious. "...where is everypony?"

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Vinyl leapt in surprise, rushing over to a window and peering outside before the voice finished speaking. There, she saw herself, a unicorn - Thank Luna! - behind her turntable and, on either side of her on the large stage, an earth pony stood, ready to rap. She couldn't help but notice a minor mistake her other self made. Note to self: make sure to check teeth in mirror before performing. She was broken out of her thoughts as her doppelgänger continued.

V-

I gotta flatten this mare!
I'm a carrot farmer baby; growing greens
I'm certainly Ponyville's farming queen
While you're kicking trees, I'm doing real work.
Trying to outdo me? You're a real jerk!
I sell the veggies that ponies love to eat.
Your apples will just fall in defeat!
Claiming you're better is ironic in my eyes -
The Element of Honesty, telling complete lies.

What th' hay, Golden?! Are ya pushin' yer wares?
Are ya really that bad, or completely unprepared?
Besides, our apples are clearly up on top.
Ya use yer carrots when ya feel tha need ta clop!
Filly, mah apples are mighty pleasin'.
Yer a ripe tree an' it's Applebuck Season!
Ya can sell all kindsa food, but it'll be fer naught.
Mah proof? It's shot. Mah hoof - yer plot!

You like to claim that your product is undoubtedly the best.
If that's the case, then care to explain why you're drowning in debts?

Harvest, yer sellin' ponies sticks that've been underground.
Even rabbits won't touch them; how does that sound?

Everypony knows carrots are better than apples!

Yet mah profits are higher than yers can contest.

Don't you know the risk of finding a worm in an apple?

And carrots are pulled from where the worms nest.

You have to throw out the core of an apple!

Or just eat it; that part's the best.

You can never, ever go right with an apple!

My family's food is superior to the rest.

Let's talk about families - I got some news.
I've had an Apple; he's related to you.
I had more to say, but I've got a field to tend.
Unlike your brother, I couldn't fit it all in!

Now listen here, missy, ya've gone too far!
Ah'd like ta end this, but Ah still don't know who ya are!
Carrot Top? Golden Harvest? What's yer name, anyway?
Ah only see ya in the background, never savin' the day.
Ah'm the Element of Honesty, taking a stand!
At least three times Ah've helped save the land!
All of your nonsense; Ah'm tired of it, slacker.
Leave, 'fore Ah bring a Sweet Apple Massacre!

Silly pony, I can't let you do that.
Take a look at your family -
So much inbreeding, it's a pain to see.
I've got more business than you can even hope.
I won't be ensnared by your silly rope.
I'm pouring my drinks for all to enjoy.
Your lack of experience leaves me annoyed.
I'm bringing out the glasses -
All the ponies are ecstatic.
You can't match what's in my attic.
Better calm down before you cause a panic!
Your cider just doesn't do it for me
So go ahead, do your work poorly.
The Flim-Flam Brothers may have lost to you,
But I'm ready, Jackie - whatcha gonna do?
Say I'm a drunk and slur my words -
I still leave ponies' cravings curbed.
I propose a toast to me that I have earned.
See you later, page -
I've got fine wines to age.

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Vinyl sat there, staring at the stage in mild annoyance. "...if I didn't know better, I'd think this was some attempt by Enigma to make a dumb joke." She chuckled, shaking her head. "I'm glad I know better." Finally, she felt that familiar tugging sensation and was whisked away, silently hoping that this leap would be the leap home. Also, would it kill this force to let me have something to eat!?

Fluttershy sat in the market, holding a board up as a familiar pink pony hammered the nails in. She smiled softly, glancing over at the other workspace.

There, a blue unicorn and a yellow filly were working on a similar project, the ex-showmare building the bed of the cart while the Crusader shaped the wheels.

At that moment, the bell-tower tolled noon. Everypony got up and, after a quick stretch, head over to Sugar Cube Corner for a bite to eat. Fluttershy could almost see the visions of sugar plums and brownies dancing in the heads of her friends. She giggled softly, following them through the door...and bumping into the pink mare, who was hovering in mid-air. Confused, she looked over the earth pony's shoulder and at the strange sight greeting them.

There, seated around a table, was an orange mare, seated across from and glaring at a yellow mare. On the surface of their table sat a piece of paper and a quill.

On the opposite side of the table from the viewers sat a large red stallion, a cyan mare sidled up right next to him. They were shifting their gazes almost constantly from one irked pony to the other, fairly certain they shouldn't say anything. The tension hung in the air, almost too thick to cut through.

That is, until a certain unicorn spoke up. "What are they doing?"

The tangerine mare sighed, tilting her Stetson over her eyes and waving in the general direction of the paper on the table. "We made a deal. Whoever loses has ta sign this thing."

At that, the ex-showmare brought it to her face, reading it carefully. A frown formed on her lips. "...you didn't read this, did you?"

Applejack shifted slightly in her seat, a blush peeking out from under the edges of her hat. "...well...no..."

Trixie raised an eyebrow, floating the paper over to Fluttershy. "It says that Applejack 'admits her burning desire for Princess Luna', and that Golden Harvest 'deeply regrets her decision to dump Big Macintosh and aches for him with every fiber of her being'."

The mares in question stared at her, stunned. They turned to the timid pegasus, eyes wide, though it was the orange-maned pony who spoke. "...please don't tell me that's what it says."

Fluttershy squeaked, hiding behind her mane. "...o-okay..."

There was a full ten seconds of silence before the cowpony spoke up once more. "Well, sugarcube? What does it say?"

She opened her mouth slightly, hesitantly, before averting her gaze to the floor. "...s-she told me not to tell her..."

At this, both of them rounded on the cyan mare, who was apparently trying to hide in the stallion's embrace. "What th' hay, Rainbow!?" There was no embarrassment here - just pure, unadulterated rage.

She grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head. "...it was just a joke?"

Applejack smacked her with her hat before turning to her long-time rival. "Let's figure out th' details later."

The gardener nodded, turning to the yellow pegasus. "So who won?"

The timid mare carefully pulled Vinyl's phone out of her bag, unlocking it and swiftly navigating the menus with her feathers. Having counted the votes (and pausing to wonder just who 'Gordon Freemane' was), she turned to the two, trying to put on a smile that wasn't filled with nervousness. She failed. "...um...Applejack won...seventy-two to fifteen...I'm sorry..."

At this, the two rivals stood, walking out the door. As they left, everyone inside could hear a few words: "Ya better be ready ta work hard, Golden."

"My name is Carrot Top. Get it right, Jaquelin."

After they were out of earshot (and their taunts faded), Fluttershy turned to her best friend, smiling softly. "...so...you and Big Mac?"

They looked at each other, a dreamy look on their face and, if anypony had thought to look, their tails entwined. They gave a small nod and nuzzled each other's nose, much to the chagrin of the yellow filly watching.

With the strange situation gone, the floating earth pony turned to Fluttershy, a dopey, yet somehow cute, smile on her face. "So what do you want to eat, Braveheart?"

As soon as that word left the mare's mouth, the timid mare's pupils shrank until they almost vanished. She glanced at Rainbow, who had begun tapping her hoof to her chin.

"...Braveheart? Why does that name sound famili-"

"I gotta go!" With an uncharacteristic burst of speed, Fluttershy flew out of the sweet shop, leaving behind four confused mares and a stoic stallion (who was just as confused on the inside).

The little filly looked up at Trixie. "...didn't she want ta stay fer lunch?"

The majority of the 'Homage Rap Battle's lyrics were done by SuperChaosKG and RLYoshi, since stuff is being done for college and the next official rap battle by me (and some others). And yes, it is a homage to 'Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates'. Please don't be mad; I thought it would be funny, and I sorta Pinkie Promised I'd do this. ^^;

Now, in order for the videos I'm trying to do to work, I'll need people to audition for the rap battles. So far, I've only received one audition, and it was for Featherweight. If a lack of a way to get it to me is a problem, then send me a PM, and I'll give you my e-mail address so you can send the audition to me. We'd really appreciate it. ^w^

Oh, and comment number 3600 gets the chance to see who all are in the queue.

"How many of you follow 'Know Your Mare'? I got E put on it as a guest in an upcoming chapter!"

...you did what now? o_o

"Be sure to watch for that! Have a nice day!"

... *sigh* Enigma out.

Slice of Life #1 & Rap Battle #10: Alternate Aftermath

Vinyl awoke, finding herself in a crumpled heap outside of her house. Carefully standing up, she glanced in a window, wondering why everything seemed...different.

She soon had her answer as she located that universes' version of herself. It was so outright strange, she couldn't even begin to describe it. Why the hay do they have h-hands and hooves!? She crouched down, back out of view of the abnormally shaped figures.

"...oh, boy..."

At that moment, she could swear she heard music start playing. After a moment's pause, and the song finished, she felt the need to voice her opinion on the matter. "...needs more wubs."

"Miss Scratch!"

Hazarding a peek inside, Vinyl saw two more of the strange beings rush into the room. It's like they're those 'humans', yet...not. She glanced over at the two fillies sitting on the other side of her coffee table. Lemonade table.

Her doppelgänger sighed, looking up at the two fillies. "So, I take it you girls want to know who won?"

"Well yeah!" The pink filly flipped her hair over her shoulder, as if that would help her point. "It's been over, like, a week, now! It's the next month, even!"

The other one glared at her rival, annoyed. A small, almost invisible smirk appeared on her lips, her eyes narrowing slightly at the self-righteous filly. "So how'd yer tryout go?"

She waved her hoof - hand - dismissively. "They said I was too young. The nerve of-" She stopped, looking up at the shocked unicorn in front of her. "...oops."

Vinyl's eye twitched slightly, trying her best to figure out just how to cope with this new information. She sighed, taking out her phone and navigating through it.

"Who won, Miss Scratch?" The yellow filly was bouncing in place, excited and hopeful.

Vinyl chuckled softly, shaking her head. "Be patient, Applebloom. I'll tell you it eventually!"

She frowned, leaping over the table and placing her face right in front of the DJ's, her hands tightly gripping her shoulders. "But Ah want it now!"

The mare frowned, calmly placing a hand on Applebloom's shoulder. "I can't tell you if you're making me unable to see the phone, now can I?"

The filly backed off, blushing profusely. As Vinyl resumed counting the votes. Finally, with a small sigh, she put her phone back in her pocket, staring straight at the pink filly. "Congrats. You won."

Said pony turned to the other filly, sneering. "I guess that means I get him. Tough luck, blank flank!" She strutted out the room, leaving behind a distraught little yellow pony.

Vinyl, overcome with emotion, was about to go in and comfort her when her dimensional twin beat her to it. "Hey, don't worry 'bout it, Bloom. I doubt he'd want to date somepony as rude as her, anyways."

She looked up at her, eyes wide in shock. "Y-ya knew?"

The DJ lowered her shades, winking playfully. "You weren't exactly subtle up there on stage." She pushed her shades back up, ruffling the little filly's hair. "I'm sure he'll turn her down, and then you can ask him."

Applebloom smiled softly, a pink tint coming to her cheeks. "Thanks, Miss Scratch." She thought for a moment, seeing a brown-and-tan colt walk past the doorway. "...why're ya okay with me 'n' Featherweight, but not with Pip 'n' Scoots?"

Vinyl glanced away, frowning slightly. "How would you feel if your brother was dating somepony and making out with them in front of you?"

The filly shuddered, not even needing to imagine that. "Ah understand."

The unicorn outside turned away, thinking about it. I suppose that would be a half-truth... With a sigh, she wondered when the next pull would be.

That's when she noticed the daisy sandwich next to her. With a grin, she picked it up and ate it in less than a second. Content, she leaned back against the wall, just as the tugging sensation came to her. At least I got to eat something.

Universe Alpha

The gray pony pulled herself up the last ledge, pausing momentarily to straighten her bow tie. Glancing back, she observed the path she had been following, Ponyville now just a speck in the distance.

Deciding to take a break, she sat down and pulled out a sandwich. As she chewed, she reminisced on the events leading up to this point for her. If I'm not mistaken, I have defeated a hydra, beheaded some dumb 'beaver' that looked nothing like a beaver, found myself in the midst of a forest-wide musical number about freedom and beat down a pack of timberwolves, save for one that looked about ready to sap itself. Oh, and scaled this mountain near Canterlot's mountain to get to the... She checked the inside of a dark opening, noticing the large number of Changelings inside. ...heavily guarded cave where Derpy...Ditzy? She thought for a bit before deciding it would take too long. Whoever-it-is-who's-dating-Turner's daughter is being held. And I doubt this is even all of the obstacles still in my way.

She pulled a couple of cello bows out, smiling as the sunlight reflected off the mythril edging. Wouldn't have it any other way. A concerto is hardly a masterpiece without the dedication to complete it. With that last thought, she stepped in front of the mouth of the cave, both bows held in her fetlocks. "Don't worry, Dinky. I'll get you home safe."

Applebloom was nervous. The yellow filly was seated in Sugar Cube Corner with her special somepony, who currently occupied the place next to her. That wasn't what was making her nervous, though.

The bell at the entrance chimed, immediately pulling her eyes to it. She sighed, seeing it was just the town librarian.

She certainly seemed happy, singing to herself. "Like two peas in a pod, we did everything together.~" She passed their table and approached the counter, leaving Applebloom to further wallow in her nervousness.

"Calm down, Bloom." The colt nuzzled her gently, chuckling as she swooned slightly from his voice. "I'm sure they'll love you."

She sheepishly smiled, leaning against him. "Ah want ta. It's just...what if yer mom an' dad find mah fam'ly...uncouth?"

"My mum."

She looked up at him, confused. "Ya call her yer 'mum'? Why?"

He glanced away, frowning slightly. "...she's not my real mom...but she tries so hard. I call her my 'mum' because she's special to me. Besides, it'd be kinda rude to call her 'Derpy' all the time."

Applebloom nodded, then, just as she was about to open her mouth again, the door opened, instead. Turning to look, she saw the familiar form of the gray pegasus and the unmistakable sight of her muscle-bound husband. "...this is gonna be an int'resting lunch..."

I know you want a rap battle instead of this, but the rappers are too busy making out for anything to get done. So I'll have to postpone the battle a bit. Sorry. ^^; If anyone is willing to offer their help with the rap battle, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Also, BUCK YEAH, NEW EPIC RAP BATTLE OF HISTORY! 8D FRANK SINATRA VS FREDDY MERCURY! (Freddie won)

Oh, and though it may seem like this is a filler chapter, there are some clues to future rap battles. (It may say '#1', but this might be the only one.) And there's a bit of headcanon mixed in, as well. :p

Have a nice day, and please enjoy the chapter!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #15

Fluttershy walked into Sugar Cube Corner, pausing only momentarily as she saw a grey pegasus and a tan stallion were engaged in a muffin-eating contest. If the trays were any indication, the mailmare was leaving him in the dust. "...oh, my...I hope somepony is going to pay for their food..."

She broke off from that train of thought, approaching the counter and her pink friend. "Hello, Pinkie Pie. Could I please have a slice of lemon pie?"

She grinned, bouncing to the back to get her order.

At that moment, the front door burst open, an upset unicorn storming into the establishment. A tan mare followed right behind her, sadness etched in her every feature. "Please, give me another chance!"

"To what?" The unicorn rounded on the other pony, drawing the stares of everypony in the room. "To break my heart again? To call me worthless and ridicule my music career?" She turned away, a single tear sliding down her cheek. "I...I just can't, Bon Bon..."

The mare recoiled as if she was struck. "...I...I wasn't in control...t-that was all Discord...y-you know how he made everypony act strangely..."

She just glanced back at her ex-marefriend, trying her best to hold her tears back. "...you can't..." She sighed, turning away and, coincidentally, staring right at the timid yellow mare. A sad smile crossed her lips. "...could you please help us, Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy found herself behind the turntables once more, worriedly wondering what could have caused such a rift between the loving mares in front of her. The outcome didn't worry her so much; either way, they'd most likely get back together. What worried her was the reason Lyra wanted the rap battle. That, and she didn't get to eat her slice of lemon pie.

Meanwhile, said mares were getting ready to start the rap battle. Lyra was wearing a strange ensemble, but, to her credit, Pinkie had worn the exact same exercise suit once before for the Cake twins. Both had the headsets on, a determination in both their faces.

Checking the sound levels once more, she started the music up, putting on the shades that Rainbow Dash lent her at the same time.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

...PLEASE?

Oh look, Miss Sweet Tooth's come crawling back
But if you want me again, you gotta step up your act,
'Cause when you left, I had a revelation
Somethin' deep inside, a true realization
I can do better! I can get much more
Than a silly baker that, to love, is a chore!
You change your voice like Rarity does fine frocks.
Too bad you can't change how you act like a rock!

You know what, Lyra? You're making me ill
With your little dreams of humans playing king of the hill
It's a stupid lie, but one that's just to yourself
Making you just as crazy as Pinkie Pie's elf.
You know, G-String, you really shouldn't mess with US!
I'm the one supporting you since your career went bust!
You think we don't know how you pass the time?
You sit in that chair clopping while you're on the line.

Make fun of my music; I know you love the sound.
I could play right now, and you'd come back around!
Bonnie, I wasn't the one who broke us apart
You really don't care that you broke my heart?

You wanna talk selfish? You don't know how lucky you are!
Who wants to be chased around just to be a star?
A Background Pony is what you need to be -
The one who they'll forget as soon as you leave!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

IF IT'S NOT A PROBLEM, I MEAN...

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Okay, so this rap battle had a huge help from xxsilverliningxx, who got the ball rolling with the first few lyrics, and dashie76, who gave us ideas on some ideas for rap battle topics and also contributed lyrics. Which is a good thing, since I probably wouldn't be able to start a rap battle between these two. They just seem so perfect together! ^^;

Anyways, think of this chapter as my apology for giving you a slice-of-life chapter yesterday. :p Oh, and there's a new rule: characters have to wait about nine rap battles after their last one (that's how many were between Lyra's rap battles) before they can have another one. There are no exceptions to this rule.

Also, there will likely be a Q&A chapter after rap battle number 20. If you're wondering why I'm mentioning it this early, it's because I may have to resort to using it earlier than that.

Have a nice day, and please don't forget to audition for the rap battle parts!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #15: Results and Aftermath

Applebloom and her coltfriend walked away from the stage, tails entwined. She was still a little confused, though. "Ah don't get it. Why were they rappin' 'gainst each other? Aren't they sweethearts, or somethin'?"

He smiled, draping a wing over her. "The way I figure it, they were just getting it out of their system. All that anger, that pain...it's just not healthy to keep it bottled up."

She thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. "Ah guess." She leaned against his side, wistfully sighing. They walked in silence for a while before she started giggling.

He looked at her, an eyebrow quirked. "What's so funny?"

She shook her head, trying to calm down long enough to speak clearly. "Ah was j-just thinkin' about what happened at Sugar Cube Corner. It was th' most memorable lunch Ah've ever had!"

He chuckled, pausing right on the bridge towards the farm. "Yeah, I still can't believe mum ate fifteen trays of muffins. That stallion didn't even come close!" He leaned down, gently nuzzling her cheek.

Applebloom blushed brightly, closing her eyes to enjoy the nice sensation. Glancing up into the sky, she finally noticed the full moon and sea of stars. One couldn't ask for a more romantic evening. She tilted her head up, their muzzles mere inches away, lips almost-

"APPLEBLOOM! SUPPER TIME!"

They pulled away from each other, doing their best imitation of a tomato. "C-comin'!" She gave an apologetic smile before galloping off, leaving her pegasus staring after her.

"...one more second..." He sighed and, turning around, began his uneventful trip back to his own home.

A telescope tilted back up into its upright position, the viewer frowning slightly. "So close..." She sighed and entered the shared living area, noticing her sister playing on the gaming system there. She shook her head, smiling slightly...then she saw the game. "...'WolfPuncher2'? Seriously, Lulu?"

The dark alicorn glanced over, smirking slightly. "It's better than those games you play, 'Tia."

She rolled her eyes, walking out of the room, muttering to herself. "...there's nothing wrong with 'Catherine'..."

Luna, absolutely certain her sister had fallen asleep, smirked, her magic activating the switch on the side of the television. "Sorry, Sweet. We couldn't let anypony know we know each other, for your sake."

"I don't mind!" The childish voice filtered through her headset. "I'm just glad you like to play with me! I'd get my col-" There was a bout of stuttering. "M-my friend to play, but...well, it's unfair that he has claws. It's like these games were made for dragons. Enough of that, though! Let's kick some zombie flank!"

With a smirk, they started the campaign, shooting down zombies and trying to get to the safe rooms. Anything to forget...her...breaking off...

Lyra and Bon Bon sat across from each other, neither one speaking, nor even able to look at the other.

As usual, Fluttershy sat between the two rappers, but this time, she had no idea what to say. After all, what does one say when two loves get into a big, public fight?

"...I'm sorry."

The other two turned to the unicorn, surprised. "...you are?"

She nodded, finally looking up at her marefriend. "...I should've listened to you...it's just..." She looked back down, ashamed. "...I was so hurt...and...Discord...doesn't his power magnify negative feelings?"

The silence grew again, but this time, it was broken by a giggle. The couple stared at the shy pegasus, who was currently trying hard not to laugh. Thankfully, she succeeded. "Y-you thought he did that?" She shook her head, smiling softly. "He makes ponies act the opposite they normally would."

Sudden realization hit the unicorn like an anvil. "...so that means..." She turned back to the cream-colored mare, tears in her eyes. "...you love me...more than anything..."

No one would have expected Lyra to suddenly leap over the table and lock lips with her marefriend. Fluttershy certainly didn't. She smiled softly, seeing the couple happy again. I guess I don't have to tell them Bon Bon won...

Then she realized they weren't stopping. They weren't even slowing down. With a bright pink blush on her face, she excused herself and rushed off into the night, fairly certain they didn't even notice her leave.

There was a knock on the door. With a small groan, the librarian put down the multi-colored cube she'd been studying. Opening the door, she put on her best smile. "I'm sorry, but the library is closed. Please come back-"

A medium-sized, rectangular parcel was shoved into her hooves by the gray mare, both of her eyes meeting Twilight's gaze. "Special delivery from Canterlot!"

Confused, she accepted the package and closed the door. She continued her work, a single, nagging thought stuck in her head. "...I thought Ditzy was the mailmare?"

Fluttershy stared at the empty spot on her desk, confused. "...where did my book go?"

So yeah, Bon Bon won, 46 to 15. There was also a vote for 'Clint Eastwood', but he's in Apploosa. Oh, and there were some votes I couldn't make heads nor tails of, so I didn't count them. ^^;

Anyways, there's something important to next battle's reason here. Oh, and a clue to who the 'big bad' of this 'arc' is.

Does anyone know how to use Source Filmmaker? I'm having more trouble than I thought I would with it. >.<;; (PS, please read - and possibly comment on - the latest blog!~)

Anyways, keep in mind: I still do the 'reference contest' for the chapters. Oh, and Bon Bon, under the influence of Discord, left Lyra for Lucky. Just so you know why they were arguing in the first place.

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #16

I don't need it.

Rainbow Dash was staring at Daring Do and the Sun's Sphere, written by the famous author F.S. Braveheart. The latest of Miss Do's adventures, it was set to be released three weeks from tomorrow. This copy, however, has been here for about a week. The book was even placed in a glass viewing case to protect it.

I don't need it.

Of course, one fan was going crazy over having it right there.

I don't need it.

But surely Rainbow Dash wouldn't just steal it, the Holy Grail of adventure novels.

I don't need it.

Even if it would solve how Daring got out of Chaos Harbor. And besides. She was Twilight's best friend. She wouldn't mind if Dash had a quick peak.

...

"I. NEED IT!"

Rainbow Dash smashed the glass separating her from her prize. Catching it in her mouth, she made to run out the library.

At that exact moment, the very last pony she wanted to see walked in.

"Oh, um. Hey Twilight."

"Hello, Rainbow Dash. Say, whatcha got there?"

"N-Nothing important." Lied the pegasus, trying to sidestep Twilight.

"Oh, come on. Let me see it." Using her magic, Twilight took the book out of Rainbow's mouth. She gasped as she read the title.

"Rainbow! This is my book! You know, the one that I TOLD you would be out tomorrow? How did you-"

Twilight looked over at the broken glass shards on her floor.

"You didn't."

"Twi-"

"Do you realize that I could have you ARRESTED for this?! You WAIT like other ponies!"

"But Twi! I'm your friend! Surely you can make some sort of arrangement-"

"Are you trying to bribe me, Rainbow Dash? As stated in the manual for librarians, books can only be given to ones of librarian permission and close status, say ponyfriend."

"So if I was your ponyfriend, you would let me go?"

"Maybe, but that's ri-"

Rainbow gave Twilight a quick peck on the cheek. "Bye!" Rainbow Dashed out the door. Twilight teleported her back, however. And Twilight looked angry.

"Did you HONESTLY believe that would work?!"

"Not really." admitted Rainbow Dash. "But how about we work out a wager?"

"The terms?" asked the curious unicorn

"If I win, I don't just keep the book, the book is MINE. My property.I can write Rainbow Dash on it."

"And if I win? Surely, with such a high price, I have to do something worse than just take it back. I mean, what's stopping you from just taking it tomorrow when I win?"

Rainbow Dash couldn't believe she had to say it.

"If you win... I will buy you... a safe. And... for a ... month... I cannot take that book." It pained Rainbow to say those words.

"I agree to these terms. On the condition that whatever contest it is, we both have to claim it fair."

"Deal." They shook on it.

"So," Twilight asked. "What contest could we have that we can equate on?"

Rainbow Dash started thinking. She slowly grew a maniacal smile and rubbed her hooves together. "I have an idea on the contest...all we need is Fluttershy's help."

"What's the contest?" asked a confused Twilight. "And what does 'Shy have to do with it?"

"Three words, my unicorn friend." She grinned, draping a wing over her shoulders, and whispering in her ear.

"Epic. Rap. Battle."

Fluttershy could only stare, seeing two of her best friends about to - How did Vinyl say it? - start some sick fires. No, wait, that can't be right. How can fires be sick?

As the timid mare-turned-temporary-DJ considered this, the other two on the stage got ready, never taking their eyes off the other. Soon enough, their headsets were in place.

"One turn each?"

"One turn each."

Fluttershy coughed softly, gaining everypony's attention due solely to the volume of her microphone. Glancing down, she realized that it actually had the letters 'MIC' on the side. Confused, she grabbed another one, deciding that the one saying 'jackleapp' seemed more inviting. With that thought, she started the music.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

Hey, Twilight Sparkle, just take a seat.
This will be the second time you've been beat!
I'm the Element of Loyalty, a true part of friendship.
But you? Every single unicorn can learn tricks.
Forget gingers – it's violets that have no souls.
Don't deny your doll was your sole friend as a foal!
You still have a lot to learn, Professor Plum
You're book smart but, street-wise, you're dumb
You think this whole town's crazy? How can you not see
You're not so sane yourself, Miss Super OCD?
It's like the wedding again, with all your babbling sadness.
But unlike that time, there's no method to your madness.
I'll leave you seeing stars while I become one.
You know it's bad when you read all day for fun.
I'm equipped with high-speed wings; what the hay have you got?
Just some books and a baby dragon from Canterlot!

You think you can rap, Dash? Your flow is amateur.
I'm a nerd; I can whip you with iambic pentameter.
Just because I'm well-read doesn't mean that I'm naive.
If anything, it lets me see the 'real world' with great ease.
Not that you'd know anything about seeing, would you?
Not with those mountains, trees, and houses you've flown into.
That's Doctor Sparkle, Dash; I have fifteen degrees.
You dropped out when you finished with your ABCs!
Fitting in was the only reason why you got a pet.
You probably don't even think to keep Tank well-fed.
I'm tired of your boasting; I think you can tell.
You're this close to reliving Miss Mare-Do-Well!
You may have a fan club, but all of Equestria knows me -
The princess's prized student and the most magical of ponies.
You pulled off a light show for fifteen minutes of fame.
Even the ponies you saved don't remember your name!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Help for this rap battle came from wolfgirl66. Original version of the opening sequence came from SuperChaosKG...and, apparently, 'Spongebob Squarepants'. Also, RLYoshi and Shadow King helped with lyrics, as well. (Sorry for not mentioning you earlier, Shadow! >.<;; )

I finally got the unread chapter number for my favorites down below 400. ^w^ Sadly, my 'Read Later' list is up to 1106 stories... >.<;

I'd like to ask something rather strange - should I try to make a story based around Octavia's travels (as hinted at in this fanfic)? Or should I just leave it for somepony else to use as they see fit?

"Alright, who's ready for a definitively fan-voted rap battle? Next up is one that has been asked for almost since the beginning of this story! It's definitely been there since the end of Season 2!"

Oh, that's right...for those of you wondering where Vinyl has been, she's been in my college. She really likes the music I have on my laptop, but she really isn't that big of a help with the rap battles. If anything, she's distracting me even more, asking if she'll ever get a coltfriend, and even hitting on me a bit...

"You know you love me, dude!"

Not as much as I love Fluttershy. :P

"...touché, E."

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Octavia stood over the fallen body of a blood-red dragon, the latest in the growing number of deceased enemies that had the misfortune of attempting to attack her. "That was easier than I thought it would be. It didn't help that a certain fairy kept trying to get my attention the whole time." She glared at the floating ball of light with wings drifting lazily around the mare's head.

"Hey! Listen!"

She facehoofed, somehow avoiding cutting herself with her cello bow. "...I regret rescuing you." She headed towards the last entrance in the incredibly deep cave, if the map was correct. "At least now I can just get Dinky and-"

She stopped, staring at the strange creature in front of her. It was a strange creature, almost like a hairless bear cub with Spike's hands and the face of a parasprite. What was most confusing, though, was the white cap with red dots on its head (not to mention its lack of visible legs). "...can I help you?" Thinking a little more, she decided it looked more like a living mushroom of some kind.

It suddenly hugged her, startling her enough to make her take a step back. "Thank you, Miss!" Then, just as quickly as it hugged her, it let go and backed up, looking at her with a concerned expression. "But Dinky is in the Ancient Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters!"

She frowned, then, with a sigh, left the cave. The two rescued beings followed behind her like lost puppies.

Rap Battle #16: Results and Aftermath & Rap Battle #12: Alternate Aftermath

Vinyl groaned, hesitant to open her eyes, lest she see something even stranger than what she'd already witnessed. Then she began to wonder just what could be stranger than ponies as humans, or even human-shaped ponies.

A loud, blaring noise shocked her awake and off the piece of furniture she'd been occupying. She scowled, staring at the metallic carriage in front of her. "Stupid car!" She grabbed a nearby lamp with her magic and swung at the vehicle.

Just one inch away from her target, she realized the 'car' was a little flat.

The lamp smashed through the screen, embedding itself in the wall behind. Vinyl winced, glancing around to see if anypony had heard her.

While she saw no one else, she did see a rather large amount of technology. Most notably, the large sound system that completely covered a wall. With a grin, she pulled out her spare music player, walking over to it.

Within minutes, she had her favorite dubstep song playing, singing along with perfect pitch and tone. Yes, even the bass drops. She's that awesome. And then came the words. "You don't need to hide my friend, for I'm just like you."

"Not just like me."

Startled, she spun around and saw a familiar face. Grinning, she raced over and hugged her tightly, but briefly. "Sparkle! Dude, it's so great to see you!" She paused for a second before sheepishly amending her words. "You know, as a pony."

A brief flash of confusion crossed the lavender unicorn's face. "What else would I be?"

Vinyl opened her mouth to answer, but something caught her attention. Looking down, she noticed a soft blue light coming from her friend's chest. "...Sparkle, what is that?"

She didn't seem to comprehend the question at first. "...you know what it is, Vinyl."

Without a word, the DJ's eyes flickered from her friend's glowing chest to her face and back.

Finally, after a good minute of silence, it dawned on her. "You're not from this dimension."

Vinyl cringed, backing up a bit. "...that obvious, huh?"

Twilight shook her head, smirking a bit. "Not that hard to guess, especially since it has happened once before."

She blinked, looking at the librarian with shock. "Somepony's leaped here, before?"

"Yes," she began, slowly walking over to the destroyed television, "but Sweetie didn't cause this much damage."

With a sigh, the white mare walked over to Twilight. "Really sorry about that." Then a thought occurred to her. "When am I?"

This did surprise Twilight, if her raised eyebrow were any indication. "It's 2020, Vinyl." A lazy smile crossed her face. "You're probably wondering why everything looks so different. Well, it all started when a pony beat my loyal assistant in a rap battle two years ago."

Vinyl's eyes couldn't be any wider without popping out of her head. "Silver Spoon?"

Twilight nodded, giggling softly. "That win gave her enough confidence to get out from under Tiara's hoof. She went on to apply her knowledge of science..." She trailed off, seeing that Vinyl was in shock. Rolling her eyes, she turned to leave the room. "I'll finish my explanation later, after you get some rest."

Of course, Twilight didn't expect Vinyl to be taken away by a convenient plot device. Or, in this case, the familiar force.

Universe Alpha

Fluttershy sat in between her two friends. She didn't focus her attention on the two ponies, though. No, her attention was focused on the book laying on the table.

Dash was sitting on one side, smirking slightly. "I won, Twi. So just hoof the book over."

Twilight, having just returned from another attempt to bring Vinyl back, just huffed in annoyance. "No. We listen to what Fluttershy has to say. I have a good feeling about this."

The two turned to the timid mare, who was currently flipping through the book. "...Fluttershy?"

She glanced up, surprised. "...oh...sorry, Twilight...I was just wondering...w-where did you get this?"

"Ditzy delivered it to me. Why do you ask?"

"...oh, no reason..." She tapped her hooves, hiding behind her hair. "...j-just curious..."

"Enough of this!" Rainbow slammed her hooves on the table, standing up and growling slightly. "I just wanna know who won!"

Fluttershy hid under the table, too scared to try and count the votes now.

The two mares looked at each other, frowning slightly. "...now who's going to count the votes?"

At that moment, a portal opened up above the table. Panicking, the ponies backed away from it. They watched as a white form fell out and slammed into the surface before the swirling opening disappeared as fast as it came.

Slowly, they approached the unconscious mare, immediately recognizing the shock of blue hair. "...Vinyl?"

She carefully opened one eye, glancing from one pony to another, taking in their shocked expressions. "...hey, dudes...what'd I miss?"

After putting the white unicorn on a sofa, they gave her a lengthy explanation. The three looked at her expectantly.

This didn't go unnoticed by her. "I suppose you wanna know what I've been up to." Three heads nodded. She put a hoof to her chin, considering. "How to put this...I traveled to different dimensions and saw what would've happened if certain ponies won instead of the ones that did." She shrugged, taking her phone and casually browsing it. "I also met E. He was a decent guy, if a little scruffy."

There was an awkward silence, and then a hoof was raised. "...um...who's 'E'?"

Vinyl waved a hoof dismissively. "He's not important." She put her phone away and turned to Twilight, smiling slightly. "Congrats, Twi. You won by a landslide."

Twilight smiled briefly before a thought occurred, changing it to a frown. Looking at Dash, she spoke, albeit hesitantly. "...I know this must be hard for you, Rainbow...maybe we can just call off the bet?"

"No, no." Dash smiled brightly, but her tears betrayed her sadness. "You won, and what am I without my word?" She sighed, then, without a word, turned to leave.

"There's something you forgot, Rainbow."

They all stopped, turning to Fluttershy. "You said the bet was 'for a month, you can't take that book'." She pointed at the book on the table. "I have another copy of the book. I could lend you that...I mean, if you want me to..." She squeaked, hiding behind her mane once more.

Rainbow walked up, confused. "What do you mean, 'Shy? I thought this book wasn't to come out for another week or so."

"...um...t-that's true...but..." She took a deep breath, looking up into her best friend's eyes. "...I have another copy...because I wrote the series."

Twilight and Rainbow sat there, stunned. Vinyl, however, just wore a small smile on her face. "...'bout time you told them..."

"Twily?"

Four heads turned, locking onto the white stallion standing in the doorway, eight eyes wide in surprise. Twilight, being the first to recover, broke the silence.

"...Shining?"

Here it is! I referenced a few fanfics in this one, even if I put my own spin on them. Twilight won, 87 to 16.

Now, you may think you have an idea of who is in the next rap battle. And you might just be correct. It doesn't mean that I'll be sharing it with just anyone, though.

That being said, I still need to finish the story part of the seventeenth rap battle. It's harder than one would think, trying to come up with why the characters are participating in rap battles...

"And your pro says that people who write fanfics have no imagination!"

That's not what he said. He said that they should try applying their talents to original stories. Which is still rude, I digress.

Anyways, we decided on trying to write 'Octavia's Adventures'. Hopefully that turns out well, or at least better than trying to do rap battle videos on Source Filmmaker...

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #17

"Shining?"

The whole library was still, waiting to see just what the unicorns would do. The answer should have been obvious.

The siblings embraced, smiles adorning both of their faces.

Soon enough, Twilight pulled away from her brother, eyes wide in a mix of astonishment and excitement. "It's great to see you, BBBFF! How was the honeymoon?"

He thought for a moment, a blush slowly creeping along his cheeks. "It was fun. We spent most of our time in the suite, though."

"What?!" Twilight frowned, confused. Los Pegasus was a lovely city. It had celebrities and amazing restaurants with decent prices. Not to mention a library to rival Canterlot's. "Why? Didn't you want to see the Cirque de Celes, or maybe even the famous skyline?"

Shining opened his mouth to answer but, after a moment's thought, decided it was probably best not to answer directly. He shrugged, giving his sis an affectionate hair-ruffle. "You'll understand one day."

At that moment, a cough garnered the attention of everypony attending. Shining stepped to one side, moving out from in front of the doorway and revealing a large red stallion. He gave the Captain a nod in thanks before heading over to the multi-colored pegasus.

Before the farmer could completely pass, Shining grabbed his tail in a magical aura, eyes narrowed. "What did you just say?"

The red stallion just looked at him, a neutral expression on his face. "Ah said nothing."

"Liar!" Shining pulled the apparently-offending earth pony close, growling. "I do not take kindly to insults about my family. And I highly doubt the Element of Honesty would enjoy knowing that her family lies!"

The stallion's normally-soft eyes flashed with anger as he drew himself up, glaring at the unicorn. "Ya went too far."

Realizing that this could potentially turn ugly, Twilight and Rainbow dashed between the two stallions, trying to calm them down. "Big Mac, please, calm down."

"Shining, you don't want to hurt him. You'd lose your rank, among other things." Even Fluttershy could see the librarian trying not to think about the possible consequences.

Of course, Twilight's poor wording were misunderstood by Rainbow. "Woah woah woah! What makes you think your brother can take my man?"

Twilight blinked, confused. "He was able to stop hundreds of Changelings with a forcefield. I just assumed -"

"You assumed wrong!" The prismatic mare turned to the almost-forgotten Vinyl, who was calmly sipping lemonade. "These two are going to need a rap battle!"

Her boyfriend looked positively surprised by her suggestion. "Eenope."

Shining smirked, jabbing him with a hoof. "What's the matter? Scared?"

Big Mac frowned, sudden determination in his eyes. "Eenope. Challenge accepted." He held out a hoof, which the Captain shook heftily.

The disk jockey rolled her eyes behind her shades. "Of course." She sighed softly, deciding that it could wait until she finished her tangy, tasty drink.

Oddly, none of them noticed the small filly sneaking out of the library, a book snuggly tucked under her wing.

Vinyl sat behind her turntables, sighing in contentment. It's so good to be back. Looking up, she could only frown at the two stallions staring each other down. Wish it could be under better circumstances, though. Thinking back, she could've sworn that she saw something odd, but, for the life of her, she couldn't remember what it was. With a shrug, she turned on the music, letting her stage presence once again shine through.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

Sorry ta say you've gone about this all wrong
Yer shield spell won't stop me from endin' this song
Just how stupid are you? Well, let me count the ways
And believe me, with a list this long, it'll take all day
Ya didn't see that insect's trick though it was clear
What, did ya think it was just her time of the year?
You were dumb enough to let her cast spells on yer brain
Just thought it was coincidence it was then you felt the pains?

Who's this hick showing up at the door to my home?
I don't need to call my guards, I can beat you on my own.
Your granny founded Ponyville, but I run the Royal Guard.
I protect all of Canterlot while you buck trees in your yard!
You can't even find a girlfriend without help from above.
I'm married to an alicorn who can literally make love!
I need to get back to my job, so just admit defeat -
Your time's run out, Mac; everyone prefers a P.C.!

They just don't add up, these lyrics you're providin'.
Quit tryin' 'fore Ah buck ya far over the horizon.
You were trained to hold back a whole army, yet
All it took to distract you was being brought to bed.
One fact stands out, Mr. BBBFF -
Ya didn't even visit Twilight after she'd left.
When ya think it all through, it can't be avoided, pardner.
You ain't worthy of the title 'knight in shinin' armor'!

I'm a bad older brother? Did you already forget
You let a whole town shun your sis because of a project!
And your sisters? The craziest mares I've ever seen.
An uneducated cowgirl and a stubborn preteen!
You're nothing but a boring old earth pony farmer.
Nothing you throw at me can penetrate my armor.
Go back home and cuddle Smarty Pants for the night.
This battle will be mine. Eeyup, that's right!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

This rap battle was done mostly by RLYoshi with minor edits by me. Shadow King and gordobraveheart both pre-read the intro part to make sure they made a little more sense. Thank you all for your help!

"Hey! That's my emoticon!" "You can't use my emoticon!"

Sorry, Vi.

If you didn't read my latest journal, please do so. If you'd rather not, then that's alright, but I might have to console Fluttershy.

Please note that the results of this rap battle will have almost no impact on the story, so you will just be deciding who was the better rapper. So please, choose who had the better rhymes, slams and flow, not who is your favorite. Or you'll make Fluttershy sad.

Also, yes, Shining used one of Big Mac's catchphrases. That was on purpose, as it was supposed to be demeaning. And if you don't think Big Mac can rap fast, listen to this. Voice by Peter New, who does Big Mac. Think on that for a bit.

If anyone can suggest a good program to make ERB of MLP videos in that's simple to use and, preferably, cheap or free, I'd greatly appreciate it!

Also, I'm always willing to try rapping with others. If you'd like to try rapping with/against me, please send me a PM. I'd be using my OC, Enigma, but he's essentially me, so...yeah.

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

But first, a little slice of life with the Cutie Mark Crusaders!

"Scootaloo, what's that on your back?"

The orange filly turned around to see her two best friends, both looking up at her with concerned expressions. With a grin, she fluttered her wings to reveal the markings along her back. "I found this book on runes. It said that they could get a pony to fly using amber magic, so I copied them down and had Pip write them on me!"

Said colt was on the ground underneath the excited filly, reading the book once more. "It's 'ambient magic'." He sighed, resting his chin on a hoof. "I keep telling her we need a special material, but this 'Graves' fellow wasn't very specific about what type." He chuckled looking up at the pegasus who held his heart. "Still, if it makes her happy, who am I to judge?"

The two fillies stared at the spotted colt before directing their attention back to the third - apparently insane - Crusader. "Not ta pry, Scoots," Applebloom glanced at the tree limb the eager pegasus occupied, "but wouldn't it be safer ta start on th' ground?

She stood on the edge of her branch, shaking her head. "No need! I just know I'm gonna be awesome at this, and Rainbow will finally agree to teach me how to fly!"

Sweetie waved her hooves wildly, eyes wide in panic. "You never asked her in the first place! Don't do this, Scoots!"

The orange pegasus was oblivious to her friend's warnings. She leaped, a grin on her face and her wings spread.

CLIFFHANGER'D!

Rap Battle #17: Results and Aftermath

Last time, on Epic Rap Battles of MLP:

The two fillies stared at the spotted colt before directing their attention back to the third - apparently insane - Crusader. "Not ta pry, Scoots," Applebloom glanced at the tree limb the eager pegasus occupied, "but wouldn't it be safer ta start on th' ground?

She stood on the edge of her branch, shaking her head. "No need! I just know I'm gonna be awesome at this, and Rainbow will finally agree to teach me how to fly!"

Sweetie waved her hooves wildly, eyes wide in panic. "You never asked her in the first place! Don't do this, Scoots!"

The orange pegasus was oblivious to her friend's warnings. She leaped, a grin on her face and her wings spread.

CLIFFHANGER'D!

Now, back to the story.

She looked down, eyes wide as she watched the ground grow larger with every passing second. Why did I pick the highest branch!? She closed her eyes and desperately tried to flap her wings, listening to the breeze hiss past her ears and through her feathers, the markings on her back starting to

Wait, what was that last one?

Suddenly, she stopped in mid-air, mere inches away from the grass. With a sigh of relief, she put her hooves on solid ground, looking up at her friends. They stared at something behind her, their eyes so wide that they threatened to pop out of their sockets. She turned to the spotted colt, who stood there, beaming brightly at her, a look of pride in his eyes.

He stepped forward, happily nuzzling her. "I knew you could do it, Scoots...my angel."

She blinked, surprised by this. Angel? She fluttered her wings, trying to figure out what he meant by that. Why would Pip call me an-

A soft glow caught her attention, barely in the corner of her eye. She turned her head, finally noticing the luminescent feathers growing from her wings, almost an extension of her own body. She wriggled her feathers, noticing the faux-feathers responded as well. She turned her head to Pip, too stunned by this new development to move her body. She was so stunned, her legs gave out, and she fell on top of him.

He just chuckled, gently kissing her cheek. They held each other close, the orange filly resting her head on his barrel as he calmly, carefully stroked her mane.

The other two, feeling as though they shouldn't be there, silently left the two alone.

Big Mac and Rainbow sat in the back of the restaurant, eating their meal together in peace. Of course, this didn't stop the stallion from glancing over at the divider, half-expecting somepony to interrupt their meal.

The prismatic mare rolled her eyes, shifting closer to him and resting her hoof on his. This was no easy feat, as she disliked any public show of affection, even separated from others like they were. "Come on, big guy. I promise that no one is going to interrupt us. Now," she scooted closer, eyes lidded seductively, "let's just enjoy this time together," she brought her lips close to his ear, whispering softly, "alone."

The partition slid open, revealing a white unicorn. "Yo, you wanna find out who-" She stopped, staring in surprise as the two kissed each other passionately in front of her, apparently ignorant of her entrance. "...I'll just...leave you two alone..." She closed the door, her face bright red.

The couple broke apart, the farmpony smiling slyly at his girlfriend, who was currently doing her best impression of her bookworm friend's hue. "An' that's how ya get somepony to let ya have some private time."

Rainbow snapped out of her daze, grinning widely as she brought herself nose-to-nose with her boyfriend. "Well let's just see who's the best at that, big guy."

Vinyl sat outside the private booth, trying to ignore the ever-growing noises from inside. Eventually, it got so loud, the whole restaurant was looking in her direction. With a sheepish smile, she turned tail, deciding that they would eventually come when they wanted to know who won. Of course, I probably don't need to tell him that it was a tie. They probably got over their disagreement by now.

Okay, so the next Q&A chapter will be before the 20th rap battle. And please let me explain the outcome of the rap battle. Yes, it was a tie. No, not all votes were done in the comments. Some were done in private messages. A few were done by people on my side of the internet. So, all-in-all, the votes were 72 to 72. Next chapter, I'll have them react to that tidbit of news.

Also, I had finished this chapter once before, but then I made the bonehead mistake of closing the tab before saving it! I curse the fruit fly that made me do it to an extra-short lifespan!

Seriously, though, I almost rage-quit the chapter.

Anyways, I tried out the game 'Welcome to Ponyville' by FillyGamez. It was really fun! Though I find myself wondering if there's an option to romance the characters...

And don't worry, the reason behind the rap battle, as well as the words that Shining heard, will be in a later chapter!

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

P.S. Yes, I wrote this in about an hour or so. Sue me! I was freakin' upset at losing all the progress I'd done!

"Calm down, E. And make a chapter with me and a colt."

Not right now, Vi, I just want to post this and go to bed.

Rap Battle #18

A butter-yellow pegasus sat between two stallions, hiding behind her mane in her anxiety. It certainly didn't help that she couldn't tell what either one was thinking, as their faces were completely void of emotion. They have such amazing poker faces. I just wish that there wasn't so much tension in the air. She softly sighed, staring at the table in silence.

"Hey! Listen!"

They turned to the source of the sound, curious. What they saw was a gray mare walking past their table, a winged ball of light and an apparent living mushroom in tow. She was grumbling to herself about how she had entered the forest on the wrong side of town, sparing them only a quick glance as the motley crew went on their way.

"Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey!"

"SHUT UP! I DON'T CARE!"

Fluttershy blinked, unsure what to make of the scene. What is Octavia doing with those two ... creatures? I thought she was going to rescue Dinky?

A chuckle broke her out of her thoughts. Bringing her attention back to the two stallions, she saw them trying their best to hide their amusement. Then the walls broke. They broke out in hearty laughter, so infectious that Fluttershy, as well as everypony else in the diner, joined them in their merriment.

The white unicorn sighed, wiping a tear from his eye. “I haven’t laughed like that in a long time.” He turned to the other stallion, smiling genially. “I forgive you for calling my sister a whore. Especially since I know it’s not true.”

The farmer frowned, all joviality lost in an instant. “Ah told ya ‘fore, that wasn’t me.”

Shining stood up, leaning onto the table with a ‘don’t sass me’ look on his face. “I know what I heard. You learn quickly in the Royal Guard that acute hearing is vital.”

Before they could further their argument, the same gray mare ran past their table once more, a swarm of buzzing insects chasing her. “NO, NOT THE BEES!”

Fluttershy winced, remembering that Octavia was allergic to them. The stallions didn’t know though. Why else would they be laughing? She quickly stood up, placing Vinyl’s phone in her saddlebag. “Oh,” she turned to the other two, sheepishly grinning, “it was a tie. Sosorrygottagobye!” She rushed off after the musical earth pony, leaving behind the two stallions.

They stared at each other for a long time, neither one of them moving. Then, at the same moment, they reached a hoof out, shaking the other’s.

“Good job, Mac.”

“Eeyup. You, too.”

Vinyl walked down the street, sighing softly at the sun warming her coat. She had gotten to eat a sandwich for the first time since she got back, and this made her happy. She calmly sipped her lemonade, which float in the air in front of her, the tangy-

“I said no!”

She blinked, glancing around in confusion. Seeing nothing, she scratched her head. “...I’m not going insane, am I?” After deciding that nothing was as crazy as that human she met who wrote about her. She shrugged, continuing on her way.

“You! Yes, you!”

She spat out her lemonade as a bulky arm smacked her on the back. She barely kept herself from choking on the tart liquid, turning to glance at the stranger who interrupted her walk. She found herself facing a tall, bipedal being with horns on his head.

He nodded at her, pointing right between her eyes. “Iron Will has heard of your rap battles, and wants to have one against her.” She could hear the venom in his voice as he pointed at a nearby pony dressed in black, white and magenta.

Noticing them looking at her, she stood at attention. Vinyl just blinked, recoiling as the mare was suddenly in her face. “I, Photo Finish, want this minotaur to be my latest model!”

Iron Will rolled his eyes, snorting in annoyance. “Iron Will was fine with it until you decided to have him model feminine clothes.” He turned to Vinyl once more, a fire burning in his eyes. “Will you give us a rap battle?”

Vinyl looked between the two, unsure either of them would even stick to the agreement if they lost. Then again, I need the bits... She sighed, her hoof meeting her face for the umpteenth time this week. “Fine.”

The DJ found herself behind her turntables, watching as the two participants in front of her prepared for their battle. The minotaur had his own headset, so all she had to do was sync it with her system. The fashion mare, however, had one of her employees holding her mic for her. Chuckling at the absurdity of this situation, she turned on the music.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

Every pony stop! Take a second and stare,
As I show this brute why I'm a fashionable mare!
Just look at him - dirty, hairy, no sense of fashion.
At least look presentable for your flank thrashin'!
Is it your passion to be assertive as can be?
How can you, when you backed down from a tree?
Like a camera, my flash of ryhmes will leave you confused.
Step back, because when I attack, you will lose!

Your flash is weak, you sad, overdressed mare.
I'll put on a show - go grab yourself a chair.
You use other ponies to model for your shots.
Is it because your age clearly shows on your plot?
I teach others to stand up for themselves!
You go about making them self-conscious shells.
Fashion means nothing in the real world.
Like a cloth, your raps are coming unfurled.

Oh? You dare call my style a cloth?
My fashion earns me bits! Your seminars do not.
If I were you, I would just stop this and go.
I mean, I would too, if a shy one told me No.
My slender body leave stallions wanting more,
Your muscles and ego are a goat's galore!
Now quit while you're ahead, you loudmouth Minotaur,
While I show these ponies why fashion's wunderbar!

So you finally admit that you sleep around?
I have a girlfriend, so I don't do that, you hound!
I've amassed a great fortune from the shy one's phrase
Enough bits to last all of Celestia's days!
You'd best back up if you want to keep your fur,
Because, right now, I feel like a monster!
What do you do when a mare's spoutin' out lies?
Give her a verbal beat down - make her cry!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

This pairing was chosen by two different people, neither one having been told what the other person had decided. So, in all honesty, this is a completely random rap battle. Thanks to gordobraveheart for his help with this rap battle (exactly half the lines are his), as well as the story part!

Remember, the Q&A chapter is coming up soon! Please send in your questions via private message, and your votes in comments! (You have no idea how hard it is to look in multiple places for votes!) Thank you!~

Has anyone else seen the latest rap battle? It was amazing!

Now, I'm off to slay dragons and build houses! FUS RO DAH!

...no, that's a lie. I have to study for two final exams this week. Wish me luck!

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #18: Results and Aftermath

Octavia sat down, glancing around the bedroom. No way any of those bothersome insects were going to get her, now. She sighed, silently thanking the Princesses for mesh netting and conveniently placed cabins as she left the room. Never thought a two-wheeled device with a foal-seat attached would be fast enough to escape those stinging pests. She paused in the middle of the hallway, thinking to herself. I did not expect to see that elderly stallion with a rocket-propelled wheelchair, though.

She peeked into the other bedroom. There, she saw the living mushroom sleeping and the winged creature, no longer a ball of light, dozing softly on the other's chest. Despite the fact that they were the most annoying creatures she'd ever met - yes, even more annoying than Vinyl was - she couldn't stop herself from smiling at the sight.

She moved to the living room and froze, staring at the largest decoration sitting in the middle of the room. She slowly moved forward, inspecting the dull-gray metal, lifting the visor to peer inside. She took three minutes took fully examine the whole thing before she moved back in front of it.

The suit of armor just continued to sit there, doing absolutely nothing. Octavia frowned, knowing that the metal menace was mocking her. She leaned forward, her muzzle inches away from it, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"I don't trust you."

"Smart mare."

With a yelp of surprise, she smacked the helmet clean off. Not wanting to wait for anything else to happen, she ran back into the first bedroom, closing the door and locking it.

The helmet slowly lifted up, wobbling through the air and onto the suit, fitting itself back in place. A second later, a panel opened in the wall, allowing a dark red stallion to enter the living room. He spat out a marionette control bar, looking down the hall where Octavia ran. "Sheesh. Mare can't take a joke. Kinda cute, though." Chuckling softly, he opened the front door and left, flying off into the night. "Ponyville, here I come!"

Vinyl stood on a pedestal, wearing her best poker face. She was dressed in an extremely feminine dress that drew attention to the curves of her body. Cobalt blue silk flowed from her body in elegant waves, cyan forming the hems and thin stripes along the length. Her normally wild mane had been pulled back into a intricate braid, and her famous shades had been taken from her.

I. Bucking. Hate this.

It wasn't just the fact that she was wearing such fancy clothing, or even the fact that her mane was combed and styled. No, it was the fact that her latest clients refused to pay her until she finished doing favors for them. She'd already helped the minotaur with a seminar to help 'doormats'. Now she was stuck modeling to get her compensation.

"So," she spoke, trying to keep her boredom at bay, "what caused you to look at Iron Will and say 'Damn! I need him to model for me!'?" She flinched slightly as a flash went off in her face.

Photo Finish smiled, putting her camera away. "I tend to have, shall we say, flashes of inspiration. One day, he comes to Canterlot, doing that silly seminar of his. I take one look at him, and a voice, my inspiration, tells me 'He is the one. The model who will bring your next greatest show!'" She swept her hoof in a wide arc to show her enthusiasm as one of her assistants took the box-camera. She paused, a hoof on her mouth as a sudden thought occurred to her. "I will admit, that was the first time my inspiration had used a voice."

Vinyl was only half-paying attention, pulling out her phone and counting the votes in her boredom. "Uh huh. And what was the wager?"

The fashion photographer stared, confused. "Wager?" An assistant stepped up and whispered in her ear. Understanding crossed her features almost immediately. "Oh! Well, if I won, he would model for me."

Vinyl sat there, waiting for the other mare to continue. "...and if he won?"

She cleared her throat, looking away. "He would not say. I suppose he thought he wouldn't win."

"Or I just hadn't decided what I wanted you to do."

They both turned, staring at the minotaur in question as he squeezed through the pony-sized door. "So, Miss Scratch, who won?"

She put down the phone, looking up at the two of them. "Iron Will won. Can I get out of this dress, now?"

"Why would you want to do that? I think it looks great on you, Vi!"

That voice ... Vinyl froze, recognizing it almost immediately. It can't be. She slowly turned her head to the door, seeing a silhouette from the moonlight outside.

The figure stepped forward, still breathing a bit heavily due to the long flight. He smiled, his maroon eyes flashing in amusement. "Long time, no see, Vi."

She could only stare, a single word making its way out of her mouth.

" ... E-Enigma?"

Her eyes rolled back in her head, her legs giving out as she collapsed onto the pedestal from both embarrassment and shock.

The stallion blinked, surprised by her reaction. " ... nice to see you, too?" He rubbed his peruvian brown mane, unsure about what to do with his now-unconscious friend.

There was a long, awkward moment of pause. Iron Will broke it, turning to Photo Finish. "I will talk with you later about my request. For now, we need to leave these two alone."

She nodded curtly. "Agreed." She walked up and placed a bag with the payment by Vinyl's foreleg before briskly walking away.

"Wait, what?" Enigma turned to see them both leaving him and Vinyl in the room. He stared after them, then looked at Vinyl's body. He turned back to the disappearing former-competitors, called after them, upset.

"At least help me get her back home! I don't even know where she lives!"

The result, at the time the chapter was first published, is Iron Will, 25 to 60. No votes from private messages or my side of the internet this time. There were some confusing comments, to be honest, and I thought the best course of action would be to not include them in the voting because of how vague they were.

And yes, that's my OC. No, he's not going to be in any rap battle. I said no OC's in rap battles until after the last one, and I meant it. And it turns out that my two mid-terms were on the same day that I posted the last rap battle chapter. So I have regular classes for now, not including Applied Voice.

Also, Happy Halloween! I'm going trick-or-treating as Soarin' with my little sister. It's been a while since I've seen her, after all!

The next chapter's rap battle hasn't even been started on yet, so it will be a while before the next chapter. While you wait, please send in questions for the Q&A! There will be no question unanswered (but if there are, there's a good reason why)! Also, I greatly appreciate everyone who not only read this story for the rap battles, but for the story as well. It makes me feel a little better about myself.

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #19

Vinyl groaned, rubbing the side of her head in pain. If Enigma sent me to another dimension again, I'm going to kill him. She turned over on her bed, wearily opening her eyes.

The first thing she saw was the black face with green eyes looking down at her. Granted, it appeared sideways because she was lying down. Neither one of them moved, both of them just staring at each other for what felt like hours.

"SO CUTE!" Vinyl lunged at the intruder, giggling like mad. "I shall call you Wubsy, and you shall be mine, and you shall be my Wubsy!" She squeezed him tightly, nuzzling the soft red fur of his neck and belly.

She froze. ... soft red fur? Glancing down, she noticed feathered wings, flared out in alarm, and a distinct lack of a cutie mark. Her gaze slowly traveled up his body and to his black face, suddenly askew. She grabbed it in her magic and pulled it off, revealing the familiar maroon eyes, bulging slightly with the irises shrunk down to near-pinpricks. "Enigma?"

His mouth worked open, barely getting two words out. " ... c-cant ... breathe ... "

She quickly pulled away, blushing profusely and fumbling for her shades. "D-dude! What are you doing??"

He didn't answer, trying his best to get fresh air into his nearly-crushed lungs. After a minute of ragged breathing, he finally found his voice. " ... I thought ... you liked ... pranks!"

She frowned, turning away from him. "Not when they're played on me!" And certainly not when they end with me somehow hugging you ... She crossed her forelegs over her chest, feeling the brush of silk on her fur.

Confused, she looked down, seeing that she was still wearing the dress from the night before. She rounded on Enigma, eyes aflame with anger. "Why didn't you get this off me!?"

He blinked, surprised for a moment before a cheeky smile started to grow on his face. "Why, Vi, I didn't know you were so forward!" He winked at her playfully. "I have to say, you still look cute in it, though."

She blushed even more, flailing her forelegs as she stumbled over her words. "S-Shut up, E! You're still a virgin!"

He just gave her an innocent smile, a cartoonish halo appearing over his head. "What's wrong with being a virgin? I want to save myself for that special somepony!" Then, with a snicker, his halo vanished and the cheeky grin reappeared. "Besides, you're still a virgin, too."

Vinyl's eye twitched in annoyance, and, grabbing every single pillow in her room with her magic (all 101 of the spotted, black-and-white things - granted, they were small), she glowered at him. "Leave, before I make you regret it."

Enigma sighed, getting up and heading over to the door. Before he left, though, he turned around and gave a dramatic wave of his hoof. "Some day, Vinyl, I'm going to overcome your insane magical prowess!" He laughed, leaving the room and slamming the door shut with a kick of his back hoof. Yeah, the door to Vinyl's room was backward. Not even she understood why.

She sighed, shaking her head as she quickly took of the confining dress. She floated it over to the trash can, but a thought gave her pause. Changing her mind, she put in on a hanger and placed it in her otherwise-empty closet. She looked at it for a few minutes, a smile slowly coming to her face.

... cute ...

Vinyl walked out of her house, her mane back to its wild state and her shades on her face where they belong. She glanced up, noticing a brown tail poking out of a cloud. With a small smile, she grabbed a rock with her magic. She hurled the rock at the cloud in a lazy arc. "Hey, E! Think fast!"

"Why?"

Vinyl blinked, looking to her left to see the stallion in question was right next to her. Confused, she looked up at the cloud as she heard the rock connect. Loudly, at that.

A white head peered over the edge, a scowl on its beak. However, upon seeing the white unicorn, a look of surprise, then what may have been happiness, replaced it. "Sweet! Just the mare I was hoping to see!"

Vinyl blinked, confused. " ... do you mean me? Because I don't think I know you, dude."

"Yeah, yeah, it's the first time I've met you, too." The griffin flew down, landing in front of the disc jockey. She took one look at the stallion next to her and the scowl returned. She got up close, almost as if she was trying to use her gaze to bore into his soul. "Beat it, loser. This doesn't concern you."

Enigma was brave, standing up to the angry griffin. "I say I do. She's my friend."

Vinyl winced slightly. Turning away, she quietly muttered to herself. "...friend-zoned..."

The stallion didn't hear her. The griffin did. She turned to the unicorn, an eyebrow raised. Dismissing it with a shake of her head, she held up a claw for Vinyl. "Name's Gilda. I want a rap battle."

The pegasus chuckled, earning a glare from Gilda. "Why? Is it because Rainbow's straight?"

She growled, grabbing his neck and pulling him close. "Shut up now, dweeb, or I'll make you eat your teeth!"

"Shutting up."

Vinyl pulled Enigma back, frowning at Gilda. "Who do you want to rap against, and why?"

She straightened up, looking down her beak at them both. "He's an uptight prince or some crud like that."

The two ponies looked at each other, curiosity burning both of them up. Enigma turned back to Gilda, tilting his head a bit. "Who, exactly, is he?"

"Now this is a stage fit for royalty!"

The large white stallion walked onto the (borrowed) stage of the Fillyharmonic Orchestra. Truly one of the most prestigious places to play on. For now, though, it was placed on the front lawn of Vinyl's house. He turned to one of the stagehooves - or, rather, the only stagehoof. "Get me a drink! And none of that commoner swill!"

The dark red stallion stared at him, his eye twitching slightly. He put on a blatantly fake smile and bowed his front legs. "Right away, your highness. Would you like that with gold in it, seeing as we're in Ponyville, and not a city like Canterlot?"

The unicorn waved his hoof at the pegasus, shaking his head. "No, I can't drink gold. Too many calories." The stagehoof gave him a look, wondering if he was actually that dense or just didn't care for other ponies.

Shaking his head, he held up a headset, grumbling a bit. "Hold still. You need to wear this. And don't worry, it's been sanitized. You wimp." He placed the equipment on the pony's head, making sure not to mess up the goldenrod mane (at the unicorn's request) and adjusting the microphone until it was in the right spot. "There. Now, if you don't mind, your highness, I have to get Gilda ready." He trotted away, a frown working its way onto his face. At least she lets me call her by name. Stupid Blueblood.

He helped the choler-prone griffin position her mic properly, chatting with her a bit. "So, why did you want this rap battle?"

Gilda sighed, looking down at the pegasus. "I'd rather not talk about it."

The dark red stagehoof tapped his chin for a moment before a sly grin grew on his face. "Is that a blush I see? Did you ... did you fall for him?"

She growled, leaping up and looming menacingly over him. "Shut up if you know what's good for you, dweeb! I would never fall for someone as thick-headed and self-centered as him!"

He held up his forehooves, sheepishly smiling. "Hey, calm down, G. It was just a joke."

Her eye twitched when he called her by her initial. "I will NOT talk about it!"

The stallion backed away, heading back behind the turntables with Vinyl and her yellow friend. The DJ spared a glance at him, lifting up her shades enough to show the concern in her eyes. "E, you really shouldn't chat with ponies right before a rap battle. They're getting themselves hyped up, and will likely lash out at anypony who talks to them."

He smirked, a twinkle of mischief in his maroon eyes. "True, but I really wanted to know the reason behind this battle!" He glanced at the yellow mare next to him, smiling softly at her. "Hey, 'Shy. How's it going?"

She focused her attention on the floor, hiding behind her pink mane. " ... I-I'm fine, Enigma ... "

Enigma, for it was indeed him, brought his hoof up to his chin once more. This time, instead of a witty remark, he pulled out a small box, offering it to her. When he saw her confused look, he just smiled once more. "Don't worry. They're earplugs. This stage can get really loud, due to the acoustics."

Surprised, Fluttershy slowly reached a hoof out, taking the box from him. She smiled gently at him for a brief second before opening the box and putting the protective gear in her ears.

Seeing that her friends were ready, Vinyl began the music. The hip-hop tune came out loud, much to the distaste of the white stallion and the enjoyment of the griffin. Vinyl called out over the music, an ecstatic grin on her face.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

They call me Blueblood, because my flow is too cold,
Oh? Just because you are a griffin, it means you are bold?
Ha! Don't make me laugh, you stupid, tough-mare phony.
You're mad because a mare won't be your somepony!
My flow is icy royal. Your blood is reaching boiled
From bitching too much about Rainbow not being loyal!
Just because I'm a prince don't mean I don't know this game.
Mess with me? You bet your feathered ass I'll bring pain!

Yeah, cram it up your flank, you dumb, prissy mule.
I'll rip you to shreads and smash your small family jewels.
You think you're icy? Hah! You're barely even cold.
You sold your sad soul just to buy some more gold.
I am so over Dash. I like stallions, anyways!
Keep usin' that, and I'll dig you an early grave.
You can't handle cake. You're a big wuss, B.
You make me ashamed to be half-lion, you pussy!

Half-lion? Well no wonder you're so mad,
You were neglected from birth by your mom and your dad!
Heck, not even the griffin guards cared for your ass,
And you're the princess of the Great Griffin Lands!
You're half-eagle, that's supposed to mean strength and honor,
Not an overly-emotional, dyed-feathered punk rocker!
Gilda, my flow's sharper than the wind behind your wings.
Bow down and kiss the hooves of Equestria's 'next in line' King!

What would you know about strength? Loser, get real!
I can easily beat you, then make you my next meal!
I'll go get your aunt and have her turn you into a colt.
It's the least you deserve for being such a dolt!
But, then again, calling you a colt would be silly.
You'd probably act just like that Tiara filly!
Go buck yourself with a flyin' shard of glass, Blue,
Or get your harem of colts to do that for you, too!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

"Wait a minute." The two competitors turned to the red stallion, who only looked at the griffon in curiosity. "You're royalty? Then what are you doing in Ponyville?"

She got close, growling at him. "That's none of your business, dweeb. Just drop it." If the stallion didn't know better, he could've sworn he saw a blush on her cheeks.

"Servant!" The pegasus blinked, turning to the unicorn staring down at him. "Where is my drink?"

"Hey, dork, I'm not done with you!"

"Ignore that griffon and get me my drink!"

"Dweeb!"

"Servant!"

The pegasus' eye twitched, then, finally fed up with their inconsiderate natures, threw his hooves in the air. "Get it yourself, you jerk! And, for the love of Luna, GET MY NAME RIGHT FOR ONCE!" He turned to Gilda, a fire in his eyes. "My name is not 'dweeb'," he turned to Blueblood "or servant, or dork! It's Enigma! E. Nig. MA! I, at least, have your names right!"

Vinyl blinked, realizing that her friend was getting angry - something she knew almost never happened. But when it does ... Smirking slightly, she resumed the music. ... it's always fun to watch! "Unofficial rap battle stanza!"

I'm sick of you two acting like you run the town!
You're so full of yourselves, you'd make Sheen frown!
Prince Blueblood! You're bad blood! Get your act straight!
Or else Rarity won't be your only ruined date!
And Gilda! A princess!? I just don't bucking see it!
You might have better luck in love if your behavior fit!
I want both you to take these words into your heart
And keep them there, or else your lives will fall apart!

No one said a word, staring at the strange stallion standing on the stage. He didn't even have a microphone, yet the echoes from his voice were just stopping. His eyes widened in shock, glancing at the crowd, still gathered in front of the stage. With an embarrassed laugh, he flew off, leaving the two rappers on stage spinning from his takeoff.

A blue pegasus in the front row shook her head disapprovingly. "That stallion's got issues."

Vinyl chuckled, shaking her head. "Same old Enigma. Short fuse, yet a long history of social anxiety." She glanced over at her friend, confused by the glazed look in her eyes. "...'Shy? You alright?"

She snapped back to attention, blushing softly. " ... um ... yes ... "

Vinyl stared at Fluttershy for a while, before looking in the direction the dark red pegasus had left. ... uh oh ...

This rap battle was written with help from xXSilverLiningXx, SuperChaosKG and gordobraveheart (the former two being pre-readers and pointing out some errors in some of the rap lines). Thank you both so much for your help! Side note - there will be issues with some of the lines, but that's because I can't get into the mindset of Blueblood and have no idea how to correct them.

Oh, look, the first characters to use actual curse words are Blueblood and Gilda. I'm really sorry about that. ...I think I broke a few of my own self-imposed rules here...cursing and an OC rapping...

"Now, E, you said no OC's in a rap battle. In the story, I made it distinctly clear it was an 'unofficial rap battle stanza'."

...yeah, I don't think that's gonna fly with the readers... Either way, it's most likely the last time he's going to do something like that.

Moving on, I got a lot of questions regarding my Soarin' costume. Some of you requested pictures. Sadly, I never got to wear it in public. My parents forgot to pick me up to go trick-or-treating with my sister. On the plus side, I got to see Vinyl in a Felicia costume. No, she did not shave her fur. You have to admit, though, her mane and fur color fit the feline Darkstalker's color patterns, right?

And I realize what it looks like. No, Fluttershy is not falling for Enigma, the pegasus. She has a crush, already. So no outrage at something that was just written wrong because I don't know how to show catatonic shock on a pony. Besides, no one wants to see a love triangle involving an OC.

Anyways, since I didn't go trick-or-treating and bought candy for trick-or-treaters (but none came), I'm gorging myself on sweets! Expect me to be catatonic for a while.

Oh, and one more thing. Someone posted a comment with a video for 'Dis Raps For Hire'. I'll be honest, I was, and am, interested in trying that out. Or, if you'd prefer, Vinyl could do one. Either way, we thought it would be fun to do.

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.

Rap Battle #19: Results and Aftermath

Vinyl knocked on the door, growing increasingly frustrated. "Come on, E! It wasn't that bad!"

"No!" She could imagine him hiding underneath the sheets of the bed, hugging a plush of some famous pony. "I made a fool of myself in front of a bunch of ponies I don't even know!”

Vinyl rolled her eyes, pushing the door open with a hoof. “Well, things aren't going to change just because you're hiding underneath a blanket.” She trotted over to the bed, lifting the quilt and staring down at his face.

He looked back up at her, eyes wide in shock. In his forehooves, he held a white unicorn plushie.

Blushing vividly, the DJ pointed a shaky hoof at the doll. “ ... is ... is that ... what I think it is?”

Indeed it was. She gently took it out of his grasp, examining the wild blue mane and the iconic purple shades. It was a plushie of herself, precise down to the positioning of her cutie mark. Thank Celestia and Luna that they knew better than to include ... certain aspects.

A sigh brought her out of her thoughts. Looking down, she saw that her friend was covering his face with his hooves. “Yeah, I have a plush of you. Go ahead, laugh it up.”

Vinyl shook her head, a small smile on her face. Same old E. Never one to have a high self-esteem. She carefully placed the plush back in his embrace, gently nuzzling his cheek. She whispered to herself, gazing down on him with caring eyes. “You silly colt.” She stood up, her smile turning into a playful grin. “Just so you know, you got more votes than Blueblood.” She turned to leave, but a splash of color caught her eyes and made her heart leap to her throat.

There, sitting on the dresser right next to the door, was a yellow plushie, garbed in a green dress. She quickly left, feeling as though the cyan eyes were silently mocking her.

Fluttershy sat between the two competitors, surprised that they were not spouting out hurtful words at her. The white stallion was quietly sipping on a hay smoothie, apparently not even caring that it wasn't a fancy beverage. The griffin was eating a rainbow-colored cupcake, idly watching a technicolor pegasus perform tricks above them.

Even though she didn't want to break the serenity of the scene, she gently coughed, drawing the attention of the two royals. “I have the results, if you'd like me to tell you them.”

The stallion held up a hoof, wordlessly asking Fluttershy to wait a bit. He turned towards the griffin, eyes filled with what appeared to be remorse. “I feel like I should apologize, princess. I should have taken your feelings into consideration.”

The griffin royal frowned at him, a slight blush gracing her face. “Don't call me princess. I want to be treated just like anyone else. Why else do you think I came here for flight camp?”

He blinked, staring at her incredulously. “You can't be serious! Why would you want to be treated as a commoner?” He spat out the word with such distaste, Fluttershy felt the need to hide herself.

“That right there's why!” Gilda growled, placing both her taloned claws on the table. “I don't want to be as stuck-up as you and every other royal I've met!”

Fluttershy peeked over the table at the griffin, confused. Then why do you treat ponies like garbage?

Gilda sighed, rubbing the bridge of her beak with her claw. “Just ... just tell us who won. I want to leave all this behind me.”

The timid pegasus squeaked, realizing the attention was back on her and not being prepared for it. “ ... um ... t-the winner is ... G-Gilda ... ”

Gilda smirked, patting the unicorn stallion on the back. “Well, it’s been a pain knowing ya, Blue. Now, if you do mind, I gotta jet!” She flew off, leaving behind a shocked royal and a startled pegasus.

Blueblood shook his head, snapping out of his stupor. “Well that was an undesirable outcome.” With a sigh, he trotted over to a nearby chariot, quickly boarding and heading back to Canterlot.

Fluttershy sat at the table, alone. Glancing around to make sure she was alone, she pulled a picture out of her saddlebag. She smiled softly, gently tracing the cheek of the blue stallion.

Meanwhile, a gray pegasus was trying to convince a chestnut stallion to open a watch. "Really, Ditzy! What do I need to open a pocket watch for?"

Ditzy landed in front of the earth pony, crossed eyes pleading. "Please! Strange things are going on, and we need the Doctor!"

He scoffed, moving to pass her. "I'm not a doctor, I'm a watchmaker! Go look in the hospital if you need a doctor!"

Ditzy sighed, lowering her head in defeat. Suddenly, an idea came to her. "That's right! You're a watchmaker, Time Turner! You also fix them, and this watch is broken!" She flew in front of him, holding the timepiece out to him once more. "Please, only you know how to fix this!"

Turner glanced from Ditzy to the watch and back. With a small sigh, he gently took the timepiece. "Curse those beautiful eyes of yours." He trotted off, the now-blushing pegasus following close behind him.

Enigma sat up, pulling his weighted blanket off his body. He stretched gently, getting up and walking over to the dresser, placing his Vinyl plushie next to the other one. "She really is a great friend. I should do something to thank her for letting me stay here." He chuckled, trotting out of the guest bedroom that Vinyl let him use. "She said the soups were down in the basement, if I'm not mistaken." With a sigh, he walked to the basement door, opening it.

He immediately came face-to-face with two stone pegasi. He stood there for a moment, staring at the strange sight, before closing the door. "Nope." He left the building in a sudden fit of terror, rushing to the library to see if he could find any reference material about the statues.

Our plan is coming to fruition. You could have done a better job, though.

Oh, shut up. I did the best I could with what I was given. At least I didn't get caught like Chrysalis did.

That is true, but she also was able to sow the seeds of chaos. You just brought them closer together.

I said shut up! Besides, your agents of chaos did nothing to stop that annoying disc jockey.

For your information, I sent her through those universes to make her more open to doing the rap battles. It's that annoying pegasus's fault for showing up when he did. If he wasn't there, then she would have been putty in our claws and hooves!

Whatever you say, Lord of Catastrophes.

You have one more chance. Do not disappoint me.

Octavia continued on her quest, having paused long enough to eat some snacks, rest and befriend a white, faceless pony in a black suit. It had tried to attack her, but she had swiftly beat it into submission. Now apparently it wanted to follow her.

Octavia sighed, keeping her eyes on the trail. She had to make it to the Castle ruins before something bad happened to Dinky. Now that she had three companions, she hoped that her quest would be that much simpler.

In the trees above, a pair of eyes watched their every move.

The results for this rap battle (at the time of this chapter's publishing) were eight to seventy-four, for Gilda. Enigma got thirty-eight unofficial votes. Big thanks for Shadow King and gordobraveheart for pre-reading! Be sure to read their stories. They deserve more recognition! Also, Enigma is in one of their stories, as well!

You probably won’t know just who the pony is in Fluttershy’s picture (unless you do an extensive amount of research, but that's just silly). That's supposed to be the point. Hopefully, this won’t lead to some sort of hurt feelings for ‘Shy.

The next chapter is going to be the Q&A chapter. This is the last call for questions! Be sure to send them in via Private Messaging! Remember, no matter how silly the question is, it will be answered!

On a different note, there's going to be a bonus chapter later on. So, for those of you who want some non-story-canon rapping, be sure to check that out! And, if you want to be included in the bonus chapter, please send me a private message. I'll explain the specifics there!

And, just because I think it'd be a fun little challenge, I want to see who can guess the next rap battle! (If you're one of my pre-readers, you aren't allowed to play, since you know who they are. )

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Q&A #2

The lights came up, revealing, instead of the white unicorn from last time, a dark red pegasus. He looked up, grinning. "Welcome to the second Question and Answer of 'Epic Rap Battles of MLP'! My name is Enigma, and I'll be your host this evening!"

A voice came from off-stage. "E, it's ten in the morning."

Enigma scoffed, waving a hoof. "That doesn't mean it's not evening somewhere else, Vi!" He turned towards the camera, smiling softly. "So, the first question is for ... Fluttershy!"

The yellow pegasus slowly walked out, hiding behind her mane. She sat down, glancing at the camera with an expression of anxiety.

The red stallion frowned, his heart aching at the sight. He slowly stood up and walked around the desk to where she was, gently draping a wing over her shoulder, consoling her. "You can do this, 'Shy. Pretend it's just me."

She sat silently for a few moments, looking down at her hooves. Slowly, she nodded, seeming to relax a bit and leaning slightly into his shoulder.

Enigma smiled at her, holding up a card. "Okay, 'Shy, here's your first question."

Fluttershy, if you wrote the Daring Do books, did you get inspiration from the character from Rainbow Dash? Because that would explain their similarities.

RLYoshi

She blinked, putting a hoof to her chin. " ... well ... if I'm perfectly honest, she did influence the character quite a bit ... but if you're asking if she's the original inspiration ... then I have to say no."

Enigma raised an eyebrow, curious. "Okay, then." He flipped the page. "Next question, then."

For Fluttershy: When you're the announcer for rap battles, how does it make you feel?

TPurnell18

She tilted her head, thinking a bit. " ... how does it make me feel?" She smiles, her eyes becoming distant. "It's amazing. Knowing that I have a role that is important ... I just can't describe the joy it brings me."

The stallion chuckled softly, shaking his head. "There's one more question, but it's for a few other ponies as well. Is that alright, 'Shy?"

She nodded, hiding behind her mane again.

With one more encouraging hug, he stood up and moved back behind the desk. "For this question, please welcome Twilight, Lyra, Bon-Bon, and Octavia!"

The mares walked in, each one sitting down on one of the chairs provided. They all stared at the mint-green unicorn, who was sitting in an extremely odd way. She pulled a pair of sunglasses out and put them on, ignoring their stares.

Enigma raised an eyebrow at this. Shaking his head, he tried to ignore the odd thoughts the situation gave him. " ...anyways, here's the question!"

And (not sure if this is to[o] much or not) how does Fluttershy pay for her business? Or Twilight, or hay...even Lyra and Bon-Bon...or Octavia for that matter?

Inferno demon Dash

Fluttershy smiled, nodding at him. "This is rather simple. I write my books, and taking care of animals isn't a business. It's more of a hobby."

The purple unicorn shook her head, smirking slightly. "I get weekly stipends as Celestia's student." She put a hoof to her chin, thinking for a few moments. " ...those come from taxes. Was that enough information?"

Bon-Bon stuck a hoof in her marefriend's mouth, keeping her from speaking. "I support the both of us. She has a hobby of playing in the park, and, while that does bring in a few bits, I still supply the majority of the rent with my candy business."

Octavia blinked, waving her cello bow around, an eyebrow raised. "You're kidding, right?"

The stallion behind the desk smiled nervously, waving off the ponies. "This next question is just for Twilight."

For Twilight: Would you ever challenge one of the Princesses to a rap battle? Even just for sport or possible experimental observation of their mic skills?

TPurnell18

The studious unicorn blinked, bringing a hoof up to her chin. “I can’t say I’ve ever thought of that.” She waved the hoof, sheepishly smiling. “I wouldn’t dream of challenging the Princesses, especially after their rap battle with Discord!”

Enigma nodded, understanding. “I don’t think I’d want to challenge them, either. They’d probably whip me without even trying.” He turned to the next card. “Lyra! You’re needed back in here!”

The mint green mare trotted onto the stage, passing by Twilight, who was leaving. She smiled at the pegasus stallion, nodding gently. “Hit me, E.”

He frowned, raising an eyebrow. “I was told to never hit mares, so pardon me if I would rather just read the question.”

Question for Lyra: How does it feel to have been in two rap battles against two different ponies?

RLYoshi

Lyra laughed, smiling widely. “It’s awesome!” She stopped, frowning at a thought. “ ...not to say that I liked being beaten twice... ”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t expect you to. Thank you, Lyra!” He waved his hoof. “The next question is for Pinkie. If you could get her, that’d be-”

“SURPRISE!”

“GAH!” A pink ball of curls leaped out of the middle desk drawers, causing Enigma to fall backwards in shock. He stared up at the bubbly pony, eyes wide in surprise. “You... how... ” He facehoofed, sighing in slight annoyance. “Of course. It’s Pinkie.” He holds up the card, reading the question off.

How is Pinkie Pie able to go long periods of the time without breaking down from exhaustion?

Inferno demon Dash

“That’s easy!” She hopped onto Enigma’s back, pulling a large cinnamon bun out of the desk. “I have treats hidden all over Ponyville, in case of treat emergencies!”

The stallion facehoofed, groaning softly. “ ... Pinkie, just ... just bring Rainbow in here for me, okay?” He looked up at her, surprised that she wasn’t even making him strain to keep standing.

She bounced off of him, grinning widely. “Oki doki loki!”

Enigma groaned once more, pulling a pill bottle from the desk and shaking a capsule out of it, quickly taking it. He smiled at the technicolor pegasus as she walked on stage, casually putting the bottle back into the desk drawer. “Okay, Rainbow, you have one question. Technically, it’s a continuation from Pinkie’s question, but I digress.” He held up the card and began to read it out loud.

Also.....is it possible for Rainbow Dash to beat the Wonderbolts in a race without using a Sonic Rainboom?

Inferno demon Dash

The speedster scoffed, flaring her wings. “Of course I can! I don’t have to use the Sonic Rainboom to fly fast!” She blinked, looking at the name one who submitted the question. “ ... okay, what the hay is going on?”

“Moving on!” Enigma shooed off the dare-devil, earning a glare for his efforts. “Next is Gilda the Griffon!”

Rainbow left the stage, giving the most even look possible to the griffon who moved to take her seat.

The griffon, however, just looked downcast. Even the quiet thump as she sat down was melancholic. “Ask away, Enigma.”

He smiled brightly, playfully nudging her shoulder. “You finally got my name right. That’s great!”

She glared at him, growling in her ire. “Don’t push it. Just as me the dumb question!”

Nervous, Enigma fumbled for the next card, pulling it out and hoofing it over to the angry griffon. She snatched it from him and started to read it out loud.

What happened with Gilda and Prince Blue~~butt~~blood? What was the fight about i mean?

runforever101

The card fell from her grip. She didn’t know it, shocked as she was from the question. Slowly, oh so slowly, she turned to the pegasus, a pleading look in her eyes. “Please don’t make me answer this.”

He just shrugged, actually feeling a little sorry for her. “We said we’d answer every question.”

She groaned, holding her head in her talons. “Fine.” She looked up, glaring at the camera with a fury that could burn a cockatrice. “I was forced into an arranged marriage by my father, King Peter, the Griffon.” She rolled her eyes, waving a claw. “Certain circumstances arose, and I knew I didn’t want that feather-brained narcissist as my husband. So I challenged him to a rap battle, which I’d heard about from Fancy Pants. Cool guy, that stallion.”

Enigma smiled, nodding politely. “Yeah, Vi’s dad is really great.” He gently nudged her shoulder, trying to cheer her up. “Aren’t you glad you got that off your chest?”

She growled at him once more, eyes narrowed. “You have your answer leave me alone.” She flew off, leaving the pegasus wondering what he did to upset her.

Shrugging, he turned back to his list. “Okay, so the next one up is ... Featherweight?”

The tan colt flew onto the stage, stopping as he saw Enigma. They stood there, staring at each other for a bit before the young pegasus spoke up. “I’m sorry, Miss. I thought I heard a stallion call me up here.”

His eye twitched slightly as his hoof met his face once more. “I’m a stallion. Don’t ever confuse me for a mare, okay?” When the colt nodded, he sighed, bringing the card to his face. “Here’s your question.”

Question for Featherweight: Why is your voice so deep?

RLYoshi

The buck-toothed colt blinked, confused by the question. “I suppose I got it from my dad.”

Suddenly, a burly white pegasus flew onto the stage. “Ready to go home, son?”

He smiled, nodding enthusiastically. “Can’t wait! Kool-Aid and grilled cheese for dinner! Plus, I get my allowance!” The larger one gave his son a stick of gum, smirking slightly. The two pegasi flew out, leaving the one behind the desk at a loss for words.

Enigma pouted, resting his head on the desk. “ ... no one pays me in gum ... ” Suddenly, he remembered the camera was rolling. With a cough, he put on his best smile. “Next up is Chrysalis!”

The black changeling queen flew in, staring down at the pegasus, even as she sat down. “Ask me the question, and you won’t be disappointed.”

He nodded, holding up the card for her to see. “Here you go.” She pulled it from his grasp and read it out loud.

In fact, question for Chrysalis: How does it feel to lose a rap battle to a little filly, of all ponies?

RLYoshi

She frowned, glaring daggers at the card. “She was a tough one, I’ll give her that.” She smirked, narrowing her eyes. “I suppose, next time, I won’t pull my punches.” She turned and stalked out, turning the question card to dust with green flames.

The host snapped out of his stupor, letting his jaw go back in place. “Next up is ... ” He looked at the card, surprised. “ ... just how am I supposed to ... ?” He turned to someone off-stage. “Octavia! Can you go get your new friend? There’s a question here for him!”

“I suppose I can.” The sound of hooves on hardwood floor comes, slowly diminishing as the mare walked off.

Enigma turned back to the camera, smiling. “While we wait, why don’t I answer some of the nonsense questions!” He paused, putting a hoof to his chin. “ ... if any of these wasn’t supposed to be a nonsense question, I apologize.”

Enigma I was wondering if you knew. Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

Do Penguins have knees?

Nunchucks

“To that first one, yes, I believe she is somewhere on Earth. This is Equis, though.” He shrugged, smiling kindly. “As for that second one? I believe the bone for the knee is called the ‘patella’. Penguins have those so, technically, I guess they do have knees.” He tossed that question behind him, not noticing that it turned into an origami plane and flew off. “Next question!”

The following question is for everypony/everyone who has ever been in one of the rap battles:

How does it feel to have lost the game?

RLYoshi

“The only game that I know of is a simulator, and I don’t really know how one would lose at that.” He shrugged once more, tossing that question at the camera, hitting it square in the lens. The view began to tilt upward, but the pegasus was frozen in horror. “OH, S-”

A few minutes later, the screen flickers back to the dark red stallion. He sighs in relief, giving a genuine smile, which, to be honest, is much better than his forced one. “Sorry about that, audience! I didn’t know it would do that!” He coughed, motioning to the faceless figure next to him. “Anyways, Slendermane is here to answer the next question!”

Slendermane, are you stalking Octavia or following her around as a sort of companion[?]

KErlend

“It’s quite simple, really.” The ponies looked at the tall, faceless pony in shock, surprise not that it could talk, but that it was speaking directly into their minds. “I’m following her as a companion. Anyone who can beat me has my greatest respect.”

Enigma smiled, nodding genially to him. “Thank you for answering that, Slendermane.” He waved him off as he left, turning to his cards once more. “Next up is Octavia!” He squinted at the card, confused. “ ... I think.”

The sophisticated earth pony trot onto the stage, sitting on one of the chairs provided. Before the stallion behind the desk could say anything, she speared the card with a cello bow, effectively ripping it out of his hooves. She held it up and began to read it out loud.

Ok, quite simply I am extremely confused with 'Tavi and Scratches little "quests."

I know Vinyl's is over but I still have no idea what happened there, with the other universes and stuff

As for 'Tavi, I don't know if it's because I've been struggling to keep up with my fics at the moment, but I don't even remember how this started, or what the hell is going on with the stage it is at at the moment, please help my confusion?

muffinflavouredcake

She stared blankly at the camera, a single graceful eyebrow raised. “Putting a question mark at the end of a sentence does not automatically make it a question.” She sighed, inspecting one of her mythril bows as she spoke. “Vinyl had been sent to different dimensions by our universe’s weeping pegasi. Before you go complaining about how that’s not ‘how weeping angels work’, these are weeping pegasi. Completely different, and made by Discord.” She lowered her bow and looked directly into the camera once more, her gaze even. “I started on my quest to rescue Dinky. In case you had forgotten, Queen Chrysalis foalnapped her and took her place.” She flicked her bow, sending the card into the air. Another flick of her bow, and the card was instantly shredded. “I believe that those questions are now answered.”

Enigma stared at the pile of paper as the mare left. He shook himself out of his stupor (yet again), rubbing the back of his head. “A-anyways, I believe the next one up is Vinyl.”

The disk jockey walked onstage, smiling brightly. “‘Sup, E?” They bumped hooves as she sat. “So, what’s the first question?” She leaned over, reading the card along with her friend.

What kind of phone does Vinyl have?

Fierce Feline

She grinned, pulling out her cell phone. “I don’t think you have a phone like this one. It's a touch-screen with arcano- and feather-compatibility, and it's got unlimited internet access - from across dimensions! Not only that, but I can get games and schematics from Earth and use them over here!” She paused, a small frown replacing her jovial expression. She placed the phone on the desk, muttering to herself. “Still don’t know how to build the 'Crescent Rose' ... ” She grabbed the card and tore it in half with her magic, tossing them over her shoulder. "What's next, E?"

Question to Vinyl: You okay? You should think multi-universe-travel isn't the healthiest thing to do.

Jolly Roger

Vinyl just laughed, shaking her head. "I'm perfectly fine, dude! Aside from the awkward landing. Who knew books were so hard?" She rubbed her back, wincing slightly. "But enough about that." She tossed the card away, looking at the next card. "Hey, E, this one seems to be for both of us."

Will you do a rap [battle] like when ERB did [for the] end of season 1. Only it would be you vs [Vinyl].

Oh, and another question for you and Vinly. Are you guys secretly dating?

raybony

Vinyl blushed brightly, hiding the card before Enigma could read the second part. "I don't know. I don't think there'd be a reason for E and I to fight! Next question!"

The stallion blinked, moving to glance at the card behind her back. "But that one seemed to have more written on it."

"I said next question!" She snatched the next card, hurriedly reading it out loud.

For Vinyl and Enigma: You two should definitely hook up. I see the magic between you two... Why not give it a shot?

TPurnell18

With that, Vinyl froze. Enigma, however, just looked at the card with confusion on his face. "I'm not a unicorn. What do you mean by that?" He paused, thinking for a few moments before realization dawned on him. "Oh! No, Vi and I are good friends, nothing more! Besides, even though I tease her, I know she doesn't really feel that way about me! Right, Vi?" He turned to her, smiling brightly.

The unicorn just sat there, a small trickle of blood coming out one nostril. " ... E ... and I ... ?" She fainted, her whole face red.

Enigma blinked, confused. He shrugged, turning to the camera. "See? The idea's so ludicrous, it overloaded her brain!" He grabbed the next card and read it, knowing that his best friend would be fine.

Ay yo. Was the battle between Gilda and Blueballs-- sorry, BlueBLOOD with a cameo by you based on the ERB Romney vs. Obama with a cameo by Abe Lincoln?

TPurnell18

"Actually, no." He grabbed the phone with a wing, pulling it over to himself. He manipulated it with ease, navigating to YouTube and pulling up the video. "If I'm not mistaken, the line count per turn was sixteen, twelve, two, two, two, two, one, one and eight. The rap battle between Gilda and Blueblood wasn't even close to that." He blinked, a thought occurring to him. " ... if you meant my part, then I suppose that might be a maybe. I'm not entirely sure where that train of thought came from, as I was half-asleep when I wrote that." He rubbed the back of his neck, sheepishly smiling. "A-anyways, next question!"

Do you plan on doing any more tribute rap battles?

journcy

He rubbed his chin, contemplating. “I’m not really sure. I suppose I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.” He shrugged. “Who knows? Another tribute rap battle may be closer than you think.” He flipped it over the desk, making sure not to fling it too hard.

The pegasus just shifted through the last few cards, frowning slightly. "These questions were already answered in the story." He shrugged, chuckling a bit. "Well, we did say we'd answer all the questions sent in." He held up the first of the extraneous entries.

My question is for you [E]nigma. If you are making this story and [Vinyl] helps you out in some occasions, does that mean that we may see you on the actual story or even rap battling?

raybony

He laughed, shaking his head. "If you weren't paying attention for the last few chapters, then yes, I will, and have, been in the story." He tossed it over his shoulder. "Next question!"

What number of Doctor Who references have you placed throughout the story?

Sphye

Enigma brought a hoof to his chin, frowning in concentration. “I honestly can’t remember. I’d say at least three: once in Ditzy/Derpy’s rap battle, once with the weeping pegasi and then with the fob watch.” He glanced around, wondering where he could toss this card. Seeing a petal falling from the ceiling, his first thought was ‘Where did that even come from?’ His second thought led to him throwing the card at it, missing entirely and embedding it in the wall, letting the rose petal land gracefully on the guest’s seat. He blinked, then shrugged. “Forgot to compensate for the A/C’s breeze. Next!”

My question for absolutely anypony in the Q&A:

"What the Hell ever happened to the weeping pegasi in Vinyl's basement?! We still haven't received the promised explanation! Unless I completely missed something........ Love your work, love you, love you all, GOOD NIGHT!"

I'm seriously sorry for constantly posing that question. Don't know why but it's still bugging the hell out of me.

The Republican Brony

Enigma rubbed the back of his head, feeling slightly nervous. " ... yeah, I had a run-in with them last chapter... they're still in the basement ... " He threw the card off-stage.

“My leg!"

He winced, calling out to the injured party. "Sorry about that, Gilda!" He quickly held up the last card, embarrassed. " ... oh, wait, this is my grocery list." He smiled brightly at the camera, waving his hoof. "That's all, and thank you all again for sending in the questions! Have a nice day!" He turned around and started singing to himself, oblivious to the fact that the cameras were still rolling.

If happy ever after did exist,
I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairytales are full of it.
One more stupid love song, I'll be sick.

Enigma paused, looking offstage. "...the camera's still rolling?" He stared for a few moments before sheepishly grinning, slowly backing off the stage.

Thanks to xXsilverliningXx and Jolly Roger for editing!

So, it has been decided that the bonus chapter is after the next results chapter. For now, I hope you enjoy this chapter, as the next rap battle is still a work in progress.

Also, I'm working on a prologue (of sorts) to this story. It details exactly how Enigma came to meet some of the characters. As well as a few others. It will mostly be used to give my headcanon for a bunch of characters. I would like help writing it, though, and if you'd like to help with it, I'd greatly appreciate it.

And I decided someone else was more suited to write 'Octavia's Adventures'. Though that's not the name it's going to go by. Anyways, SuperChaosKG is going to be taking over that story for me. I just can't write adventure stories.

Yes, Enigma really is that dense. I have trouble reading other's emotions, as well. I blame myself.

I have to go, now. I need to work on a persuasive speech asking people to accept bronies, and I'm still stumped on how to do that (who knew an assignment could be so precise?).

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #20

Enigma flit about the library, his concern growing more and more. “Come on! There has to be something here about those ... statues!” The pile of books in the middle of the library slowly grew as he skimmed the pages for information.

As he reached for yet another tome, a force pulled him back from the shelf. Glancing around, he saw the librarian glaring up at him. “What are you doing? Spike just organized those!”

He just hung there in mid-air, staring at her with his best pitiful expression. “I’m sorry! I need to find out about these statues in Vi’s basement, and-”

His mouth was forced closed. Looking at the lavender unicorn, he noticed her eyes were unfocused and her eyebrows were pinched together. She was also chewing on her lower lip. He thought back to that one book his best friend gave him. If her face looks like that, then ...

“ ... you’re worried, aren’t you?” She glanced up at him in surprise. “You can’t be worried about the books; no, that made you more upset than anything. I believe you’re more concerned with the statues.” When she said nothing and wore an awed expression, he allowed himself a mental hoofpump. Nailed it!

“ ... I’ve come across them before.”

Enigma blinked, confused. “ ... you have?”

She nodded, glancing outside the window. “Oh, definitely. As a matter of fact, you’re about to meet the leading expert on them in our universe.”

Before he could ask her to explain, the door burst open. The first thing he noticed was the grey pegasus. With her wall-eyes, it wasn’t that hard for him to recognize her.

The pony next to her, however, was a different story. The stallion stood in the doorway, his blue eyes glancing around and a strange device held in his teeth. He scoured the entire building, as if he was searching for something. He paused in front of the newly-installed safe, taking notice of the pegasus standing beside the large pile of books. He pointed a hoof at him, tapping his opposite rear leg to get his attention. “You. Yes, you. You said something about Weeping Pegasi, correct?”

Enigma blinked, staring at him for a few moments before slowly nodding. Is that what they’re called? Weeping Pega - he’s getting a little close, there.

The earth pony got almost snout to snout with the pegasus, definitely invading his personal space. “Great, so that means you saw them, but you escaped. How is that? You aren’t there to keep them in view. I know, since they aren’t here, and you aren’t flung in the past like your friend was.”

The red pegasus raised a hoof to interrupt, but the other pony was faster. “And then there’s all those rap battles. I thought ponies were supposed to be loving and tolerating. It certainly isn’t a nice thing to do those verbal battles - far from it, in fact.” He pointed the device at the pile of books, moving his jaw so he could glance at it. He tucked it into the collar he wore, adjusting his red bowtie before continuing. “Judging from your expression, you probably don’t know me. I’m the Doctor. What’s your name, miss, and where are the Weeping Pegasi?”

Enigma’s eye twitched, and he tried his best to keep a scowl off his face. “I’m not a mare.” He sighed, rubbing the side of his head with a hoof and ignoring the look of surprise. “As for those, uh, Weeping Pegasi? They’re still at Vinyl’s house, in the basement.”

“Alright, then!” The Doctor turned around, pointing out the door with a hoof. “Onwards and upwards!” He rushed out the door, and the others followed, curious about just what he would do.

They arrived at the cottage, where the door was ajar. Signalling them to be quiet, the Doctor peered through the doorway. “The basement’s open, but there’s no sign of them. Where would they go? Why would they leave?”

The other stallion poked his head in under the Doctor’s. “Maybe they decided the party wasn’t here?” He ignored the sound of the ponies facehoofing behind him, stepping into the building. “I could’ve sworn I left the lights on when I fl-” He yelped in surprise, suddenly yanked back by teeth in his tail.

The cross-eyed mare spat the brown hair out, trying her best to fix her best stern look on the other pegasus. “Don’t just go in! There could be piranha shadows in there!”

He just stared at her, confused. “ ... ‘piranha shadows’? What the hay are those?”

“No, I don’t think those are in there, Ditzy.” The Doctor looked around, noticing the slight blue tint of the home’s interior. “No, this is more fitting of a certain villain I’ve seen once before. We’ve seen once before.” He pointed his device inside, a small smirk on his face. “Isn’t that right, Nightmare Moon?”

At first, there wasn’t any response. Eventually, though, a dark blue cloud slowly grew out of the walls and flew out of the apartment, solidifying into a tall, almost pitch-black alicorn with piercing blue eyes. “Clever. You’ll have to do better than that, though.”

Enigma stepped forward, his eyes filled with confusion. “You? You were behind all of this? But ... but how?!”

She smirked, leaning forward and staring him directly in the eyes. “How?” She pulled away, looking at each of them in turn, her eyes twinkling with confidence.

It was simple, really. A dog chasing a thieving bunny, and those two foals abandoned their stalls. After that, all I needed to do to spark their conflict was smashing their pathetic carts. No one was the wiser, and they started a rap battle, as planned.

The unicorn was difficult, I’ll give her that. She had the utmost faith in her former-lover, even though they weren’t together. Eventually, though, I broke her logic, making her distrust her marefriend enough to ask for the rap battle. She cried, but I don’t care about that.

Element of Loyalty? Don’t make me laugh! A few moments of coercion and she took that silly little novel. Her friend was so upset, but a rap battle challenge made, and I had no further need to be there.

At least, until that white unicorn, that brother of Sparkle’s, showed up. When I saw the farmpony approaching the library, I had to take action. So I hid in the good Captain’s mane, whispering hurtful words about his sister in his ear. Like I hoped, he got mad beyond reason at that Apple, and I silently left, knowing they would either fight or have a rap battle.

The fashion pony was another that was rather simple to manipulate. I pointed her towards a pony who I correctly pinned as a loather of frills and lace. Strange that she readily accepted my words as true, but I didn’t really care about that.

And then there was that griffon princess. I have to say, she was the easiest out of all them. I just made a different unicorn cross her path, and she fell hard for him. Now that their arranged marriage failed, the Griffon Kingdom and Equestria will go to war!

The evil embodiment of darkness laughed, throwing her head back as she did so.

The four ponies gathered stared at each other, an unspoken question going between them all. Twilight made to step forward, but a hoof stopped her. She blinked, glancing at the stallion, who gave her a reassuring smile. He walked forward, a calm expression on his face.

“These people - err, ponies, are special to me, and I will protect them from anything you send my way. Be it Vashta Nerada or even the Silence, I will never give up.” He glanced at his current company, pausing momentarily as his eyes fell upon the red pegasus. With a small smile, he looked up at the evil alicorn. “I think you need to be taught a lesson. And I believe Enema - ”

“Enigma.”

“Sorry, Enigma, has a friend who would be willing to help us.” He grinned, pointing out the window towards the large orchestra stage still in town square. “Geronimo!”

The Doctor stood across from the midnight-blue alicorn on the stage, frowning up at her.

She glared back, smirking haughtily. “Why, it seems you’re mad. Much easier to beat you that way.”

He flashed a smile up at her, a twinkle in his eye. “Trust me, you haven’t seen me mad. You wouldn’t like that much, to be honest, so you should hope you’ll never see that.”

Enigma, currently adjusting the headset on the other stallion, paused, staring at him with apprehension. Something about that statement made him feel ... worried. He quickly shook the feeling off, finishing his job and moving over to the almost pitch-black alicorn, carefully placing the piece of electronics on her, acting as if she’d bite him at any moment. For all he knew, she probably would.

Vinyl sat behind her turntables, working on the best mix she could think of for this rap battle. She had to pull that one song the Doctor had requested from her, and mixed it with a hip-hop rhythm. Finally, when her best friend joined her behind the turntable, everything was ready. With a click of the button, the music began.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

Who takes this battle, takes the universe.
You think you're a villain, but I've seen far worse.
You were beaten mere hours after returning from the moon;
Pack your bags - that vacation’s about to resume.
I won't need to use my Sonic Screwdriver.
You were defeated by rainbows - don’t deny it, you liar.
It seems quite ironic to tell you "good night",
But that's what I'll be saying at the end of this fight.

You dare challenge me? You must not know who I am
I'm the queen of the night, so best run while you can
Just Who are you anyway? You're a stranger to me
Claim to be a doctor, but I doubt you have a degree
I blocked out the sun all over the world, foal
Travel around in your TARDIS, my night will stay eternal
You'll never catch me, and you can't escape your fate.
Prepare yourself, for it's time for me to Exterminate!

You think you're smart? You have brains made of feather.
Your attempts at discord brought us closer together!
The other villains were unique; you're the weakest evil bred.
You're just little Luna getting up on the wrong side of the bed!

You're kidding, right? You're no match for me at all.
Are you a pegasus or earth pony? Either way, you will fall
Just run like you always do; clearly, I am better,
And thus my victory shall last forever!

I am the very last Time Lord, tried and true.
I’ve had fingers, but need just one for what I want to do.
You will have to forgive me if I seem bored,
But you don't stand a chance against a Time Lord.

You've died many times; I can survive in space.
Take your limey flank and get out of my face!
The reason Ditzy left wasn't from you being untrue -
It was because you let your child be taken from you!

If you think you can beat me, then try your best -
Compared to Bad Wolf, you’re just a small pest.
I’ve fought Daleks and Cyberponies; your threats are rot.
Stetsons and ties are cool. You’re clearly not.
I've been called a god and beaten the devil.
You? You're nowhere near my level.
Your rhymes are all terrible. In space’s vacuum, they stink.
I have one thing to say, Nightmare Woon - don't blink.

“No, I mean that quite literally, don’t blink.” He pointed behind the tall mare.

Confused, she turned, noticing the two statues right behind her, a hair’s width away from touching her tail. She stared at them for a few moments, slowly backing away from them as she did so. Thinking quickly, she grabbed one with her magic and placed it in front of the other, making them stare at each other.

Vinyl and Enigma stared at the scene, unsure what to think about it. He glanced at her and, with a gentle nudge, reminded her that she might want to end the rap battle.

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

This rap battle is thanks to RLYoshi, and the story part helped by TwilightFox and The Republican Brony. Thanks for the help! Not that much proof-reading done, so we apologize for any spelling/grammar errors.

Just a tiny thing I would like to say. If you’re involved in the bonus chapter, I’d like to have your help writing the part involving your character (and also let me know what color the text for your OC is). If you want to see what we have so far, we’d be happy to send a link to the gdoc your way. You’d have to Pinkie Promise to not share it with others, though.

I apologize for any issues involving how the Doctor (Doctor Whooves?) was portrayed. I can't get into his mindset. I'm sorry. And also please forgive him having an extra turn; it was Vi's idea.

Oh, and comment number 4900 gets to see the bonus chapter or the next rap battle's competitors. Their choice.

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Bonus Chapter: Rap Battles with OC's ... and a Surprise!

(or "What Could Have Been")

Enigma flew to the town square, still wondering at the letter on his dresser. What kind of pony sends a vague message like 'come to town square, and bring the mics!'? He landed on the orchestral stage, stretching his wings a little to keep them from getting too stiff. I really need to work out more. He glanced around the large stage, arching an eyebrow. And we need to return this stage. He took notice of the rolled-up cloth attached to the catwalk, as well as the turntables near the back. "Vi? Are you here?"

A blue-maned head popped up from behind the equipment, her eyes wide in surprise. She fumbled for her shades next to a stack of records, quickly putting them on and moving around the electronics. She grinned at him, motioning a hoof towards the stage. "What do ya think, E?"

He looked around once more. The same hardwood flooring. The same walls that amplified sound. The same setup for the disc jockey. What was different? He turned to her, an eyebrow raised questioningly.

Realizing that he didn't see it, Vinyl looked up, seeing the rolled-up cloth high above their heads. She facehoofed, pulling on the strings holding the cloth shut with her magic, which let the banner unravel. The words 'Epic Rap Battles for Charity' were written across it in bold, bright red letters. She spread her hooves wide, grinning once more. "Ta-da! I invited a bunch of ponies from your address book, my address book and 'Shy's address book, as well as had Ditzy put posters up in multiple cities, to challenge us - you, 'Shy and I - in rap battles. For charity! Everypony who watches is asked to donate to the Charity for Homeless Fillies and Colts!"

Before he could respond to this, he noticed a pony approaching them. He raised an eyebrow, looking at the small pegasus. Why does that filly look familiar?

The filly didn't seem to notice his stare and continued to walk towards the stage. "Is this the rap thing, 'cause I'm-"

As soon as she looked up she recognized that red coat. "Enigma? Is that you?"

He blinked, realizing she was looking right at him. " ... yes? I-I'm sorry, I'm terrible with faces. Do I know you?"

She jumped up, hugging his neck. "It's me! Broadway, ya silly filly... I mean colt! Sorry, remember I had that same reaction when we first met!"

She jumped down to continue her conversation, "Speaking of first meetings, did you pursue your art career?"

He chuckled, sheepishly smiling at her. "N-not really. I kinda ... well, it didn't work out. Someone else took the last opening at the gallery." He sighed, looking down at his hooves. " ... that painting kinda looked familiar, too ... "

"Oh my goodness! Enigma! I'm so sorry!" She took a quick look at the pony standing on the ladder and smirked. "I can see you're settling in."

He stared at her for a bit, uncomprehending. "Settling in?" He glanced to his friend, a smile growing on his face. "Oh! Yeah, Vi here is a great friend. She let me stay at her house while I look for my own!"

Vinyl winced, looking away. " ... friend ... why is it always friend?"

Broadway tried not to giggle uncontrollably, "Yeah, I bet she's a GREAT friend!"

She then turned to Vinyl. "Please tell me he's a good coltfriend! He was not very nice when I snuck one of his paintings in the art museum. Oh well, you two look like you make a cute couple!"

She blushed profusely, stumbling over her words. "H-he's not my c-coltfriend!"

Enigma chuckled, playfully elbowing his unicorn friend. "She's beautiful, I'll admit, but I don't think either of us feel that way about the other, Broadway." He completely missed the pained look that flashed across Vinyl's face. "So, you're here for the charity event, right?"

"Yup! But first I need to do some information! You can't rap against somepony without knowing their weaknesses! Who am I rapping against anyway?"

"Well, you can rap against Vinyl, myself or ... " He looked around, suddenly realizing something. " ... hey, Vi? Where's 'Shy?"

She put a hoof to her chin, thinking for a bit. "She said she had to take care of her animals, but she should be here at any moment."

"Hmmm," Broadway pondered, "I guess Vinyl since I don't know much about her!"

"What?" Vinyl chuckled, shaking her head. "You don't know about me, the number one disk jockey of Equestria?"

"Well, I did hear that you played at the royal wedding and stuff like that, but I need DETAILS!" She pouted, flapping her wings.

Enigma draped a wing over the little filly, pulling her to the side. "I'll tell you a few things, but not in front of her. Or the audience." He glanced at the few ponies that had shown up. " ... sparse as it may be."

"Coolio! Let's go!"

He led her behind a curtain to talk. A few minutes later, they walked back out. Broadway was giggling a little and muttering something about a record.

Vinyl blushed, staring at Enigma in shock. " ... you didn't."

He shrugged, an innocent smile on his face. "She asked for details, and I gave them." He laughed playfully, ignoring the punches she gave his shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, when I was little, I would always wear a ladybug costume I got in my first play. Now that I think back to it, I can't believe how weird the costume looked."

They both looked at the filly, confusion in their eyes. With a quick glance at each other, Vinyl stepped forward with a headset, smiling softly. "Hold still. I need to put this on you before we can start."

Meanwhile, Enigma moved behind the turntables, but stopped in his tracks when he saw a pink tail poking out from behind them. " ... 'Shy?"

A pair of teal eyes peeked out at him, framed by the pink mane. "Oh. Hi, Enigma. I was just wondering ... I mean, if it isn't too much trouble ..."

He chuckled, gently nudging her side. "It's fine, 'Shy. You can DJ." He glanced at the other two ponies, realizing they were both ready. "You might want to begin soon, though." He grabbed a wireless mic and tossed it to the white unicorn, watching as she easily caught it with her magic. He thought of something, and turned back to Fluttershy, whispering in her ear. "Oh, and the filly's name is Broadway Bound. Just so you know."

Fluttershy nodded, then, making sure her own microphone was adjusted enough to let herself be heard, she started the music.

EPIC RAP BATTLES FOR CHARITY!

BROADWAY BOUND

VS.

VINYL SCRATCH

BEGIN!

... I MEAN, IF YOU WANT TO ...

Lookie here! It's Vinyl Scratch!
What's wrong with your hair? Had sex with a bat?
This will be easy! You cried when you lost your stupid Cloudsmith album!
By the end of this you'll be having a spasm!
I'll school ya Scratch! Cause I bet ya dropped out!
Top of my class! You're gonna fail this try out!
Octavia left to get away from you!
It's about time I bid adieu.

Wow, Broadway, you're really a great actress!
I almost thought you were good, but I digress.
You think I'm a dropout? Don't make me laugh!
I have a doctorate in music and whooping your ass!
Tavi and I are just friends, nothing more.
You act worse than Tiara, and that's quite a chore.
I don't care if you're a filly. You're old enough
To know when I say I'll beat you, it's not a bluff!

If you guys aren't a couple, why do you live together?
I can hear y'all's satisfied screams for an acre.
And If I'm like Diamond Tiara, it's cause all the colts are beggin' to see me.
If I'm the beauty, then you're definitely the beastly.
The only thing that you've got is your silly little turntable!
I hope Pinkie has her sense soon so you get hit by an anvil.
You think you can beat me?
Later whore, don't wanna see ya get weepy.

Oh, the horseshoes are off now, you little brat.
I'll have you know I'm a virgin, and damn proud of that!
I've beaten multiple villains. What have you got?
Just a mark on your flank and colts in your plot!
If I'm a whore, then you're the sluttiest of sluts.
You imp, I'll tear the cotton candy tail off your butt!
You try to rap, but your damn flow and rhyme's rough.
Kiss my ass, Bound; you've done plenty of that stuff.

WHO WON? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES FOR CHARITY!

The music ended, and the crowd that gathered during the performance cheered, stomping the ground enthusiastically.

Broadway smiled as she slowly took off the mike. "You were awesome Vinyl! I regret nothing... except for the part about Octavia. I'm really sorry about that. I hope I win but you did well!" I'm so going to win, she thought with a smirk as she trotted off of the stage.

Vinyl moved over to the turntables, a semi-forced smile on her face. "So, who's next?" She picked up a clipboard, glancing at the second name on the list. "The next one better be a pony rapping against somepony else. I'm emotionally drained from that last one... " She sighed, lowering her head to rest against a nearby speaker, enjoying the feeling of the cool plastic against her cheek.

"Uh...is this the right place?" a new, quiet voice asked. "...well, there's that giant banner, so I guess it is...how'd I miss that?"

Enigma turned to the unicorn approaching the stage, blinking in confusion. He looked at his yellow mane with hints of brown, the glasses on his face, even the silver shield on his flank. After inspecting him for a few moments from a distance, he came to a conclusion: he didn't know who this stallion was. "Pardon me, but who are y-"

"Hey! Filter!" Vinyl popped up, grinning widely. "It's been awhile, dude! How ya been?"

Filter, as his name seemed to be, smiled lightly at the familiar face. "Oh, hey Vinyl! Pretty good, aside from the typical Ponyville shenanigans." He trotted towards the alabaster unicorn. "How about you?"

"I'm doing great, Poppy!" She grabbed his hooves, positively beaming. "You wouldn't believe what I've seen!" She glanced over her shoulder, frowning at the snarling statues still on the stage that Filter hadn't noticed yet. "Or some of the things I wish I could forget."

Filter struggled a bit. "Please let go of my hooves...and don't call me 'Poppy'."

"Sorry!" She let go, sheepishly smiling. "Anyways, this here is Enigma!" She dragged him over, her forelegs wrapped around one of the pegasus'. "E, this is Pop Filter. He prefers to be called 'Filter', though."

He extended a hoof to the royal blue unicorn, smiling genially. "Nice to meet you, Filter. You must be somepony special for Vi to be so enthusiastic." For a moment, a frown flickered across his face as he felt an unusual feeling, one he'd never experienced before.

Filter averted his gaze as his face took on a slight shade of red. "I'm...really not that special..."

Enigma deeply frowned at that statement. "Never say you aren't special." Turning, he moved to the side of the stage, grabbing one of the headsets and putting it on.

Vinyl blinked, staring at the pegasus. She'd only seen him act like that once before, and it actually pained her to witness it again, memories coming to her unbidden. She turned to the other unicorn, sheepishly smiling. "So, you're here for a rap battle?"

"Yeah, I heard about it, and...well, I couldn't exactly pass up the chance. Even though rap is my special talent, I don't exactly get a lot of chaaaAAA WHAT THE HAY?!" He pointed at the statues behind Vinyl in fear.

She sighed, using her magic to put the statues in a luminescent glass box from backstage. "Trust me, it's better not to think about them. Anyways, it seems E wants to rap against you." She ducked, avoiding a headset as it was soaring through the air, somehow perfectly landing on the royal blue colt's head.

"You think?" Filter asked sarcastically, allowing a smirk to cross his face. "Though I don't exactly know a lot about him..."

"I'll fill you in about him." Vinyl cracked her neck, smirking right back. "I already told him a lot about you, dude."

Filter looked at the other unicorn suspiciously. "How much is 'a lot'...?"

"Oh, you know." Her gaze moved to Enigma. Currently, the dark red pegasus was at the turntables with Fluttershy, setting up the sound levels and making sure the headsets were synced with it. A small smile formed on her lips, her eyes glazing over slightly as her mind began to drift to a daydream. "Your bisexuality, your history...and that crush you have on Pinks."

Filter's face went so red, the average bystander would think he had a sunburn. He glared at Vinyl. "I don't have a crush on her."

She rolled her eyes, chuckling playfully. "Sure, dude. Whatever you say." She glanced once more at her own crush, seeing that he was standing on the opposite of the stage. "Okay, so Enigma..." She spent a few minutes telling the other unicorn everything she knew about the red pegasus. Which, to be fair, was quite a lot. "Okay, so you got all that?"

"Probably won't help me much, but yeah, I got it."

"You'll do fine, Filter." She patted him on the back reassuringly. She turned and went behind the turntables, making sure everything was ready.

Before the music began, Enigma could be heard saying four words: "It's not too late."

EPIC RAP BATTLES FOR CHARITY!

POP FILTER

VS.

ENIGMA

BEGIN!

Partamos! Let's get this battle over with
I brought a can of whoopass, and I'm Popping the lid
Call me a detective as I unravel this Enigma
All broken and defective; on rap, you're just stigma
I'm Pop Filter, off-kilter; wreaking havoc like Discord
I'm a killer, a builder; while you're just abhorred
Sorry if I don't sound modest, but this is what you wanted
I'm just being honest; I'll shred you into sawdust!

I applaud your rapping skills, Pop Filter.
Maybe with practice they won't make flowers wilt, sir.
It doesn't matter how many cans you have, P.
You can stand on a tower and still be below me.
I can't help if that's the way you tend to think
You should be violet, considering how you shrink.
You're like Discord 'cause I'll beat you - turn to stone.
Just back off, Poppy. This here is my zone!

I've got rhymes to bludgeon you with 'til you're black and blue
You rap like a little filly – and you look like one, too
Mock me, a "shrinking violet", yet you're crushing on Fluttershy
It's clear you like my type; don't try to deny
Go cling to your plushies or your security saddlebag
I'm normally not one to brag, but you better wave the white flag
You've got no bite or bark; I'll leave you in the dark
And unlike you, at least I have my cutie mark!

A cutie mark? Who the fuck cares about that?!
I'm happy with my three degrees, you twat!
I'd take my words and shove them right up your ass,
But knowing you, it'd probably give you a sick thrill, sad sack!
You don't know the true meaning of strength, twit.
I'll use my math skills to split you in fifths!
Bitch, look at your watch as I send you through the sky.
It's the only time that you'll be seein' time fly!

WHO WON? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES FOR CHARITY!

Enigma huffed, trying his best to calm down. "...look. I apologize for saying all of that, but there is a nugget of truth in there. Stop being so down on yourself." He looked over at Vinyl, a small smile on his lips. "You may not think you're special, but there's always somepony who thinks otherwise."

Filter obviously wasn't convinced, but he didn't continue the topic. "And sorry to you too. I didn't know the whole 'cutie mark' thing was such a sore spot for you."

Enigma sighed, running a hoof through his mane. "Yeah, well, what's done is done. I'd appreciate it if you never bring it up again, though." He took off his headset, tossing it over his shoulder, landing perfectly on the stack offstage. He walked up to the other stallion, holding a hoof out and cheekily grinning. "You did great...Poppy."

The blue unicorn glared. "And I'd appreciate it if you never called me that again."

Enigma held up his hooves in the universal sign for apology. "Right. Sorry." He backed up, chuckling sheepishly. Sadly, he misstepped, falling right of the stage and onto a now-vacant spot in the crowd. "...ow...could've sworn the stage was a little longer..."

"E!" Vinyl rushed down the steps, her eyes wide in panic and her shades falling off in her haste. She carefully helped him up, not even bothering to hide her concern.

Fluttershy slowly approached the blue unicorn, a little concerned. "...um...if you don't mind...could we please have the headset back?"

Realizing he was still wearing it, Filter laughed lightly and pulled the headset off, passing it to the timid pegasus. "Sorry about that. Got distracted by...well, everything that just happened in the past ten seconds."

She gently took the device, smiling timidly at him. "...thank you..." With that, the yellow mare gracefully flew off, placing the headset with the rest.

Filter looked around. "Well, assuming Enigma's fine, I'd say that's about it for me." He smiled. "Seeya!" With that, he began trotting away.

Fluttershy waved, trying to catch his attention. "...um...Filter? I think you should..." Her already soft voice trailed off as she focused on her hooves, almost as if she were trying to find some courage there.

Vinyl glanced up, seeing Filter leaving. "Hey, wait, dude!" Helping Enigma back onto the stage, she let him sit down by her other pegasus friend. The disk jockey approached the retreating unicorn, gently placing a hoof on his shoulder. "Can we meet up somewhere, maybe catch up on things?" She offered a sincere smile, her eyes showing that same sincerity as her shades were laying still somewhere on the stage.

Filter returned the smile. "Sure! It's been a while since we talked."

"Awesome." She pulled her hoof off his shoulder, holding it out to him. "My club, sometime next week?"

"I think I can find time for that," the male unicorn chuckled. He shook Vinyl's hoof before turning and heading off again. "Seeya!"

Fluttershy sighed, watching the royal blue pony leave, leaning herself up against the feminine stallion ruefully. "...I was trying to tell him about the flyer stuck on his tail..." She hid her face behind her mane, upset she was unable to warn the nice unicorn.

"Look, everypony!" A pink filly stood up on a brown stallion's back, pointing at the exiting unicorn. "What a loser!" She began laughing, everypony nearby joining in so they didn't feel left out. The stallion underneath her didn't seem that amused, but knew that he couldn't really stop his daughter.

Realizing that the crowd was pointing and laughing at him, Filter froze in his steps, looking over his body for what they were laughing at. Spotting the paper stuck to his tail, he winced and used his magic to pull it off and toss it a few feet away. Wanting to hide, he began slowly walking away again at a turtle's pace.

The filly had closed her eyes when she began laughing. Eventually, though she opened them to look at the scene.

Instead, she saw a red pegasus mere inches from her face, glaring at her.

With a shriek, she fell off her father's back and into a mud puddle, staring up at the menacing stallion.

He huffed, shaking his head. "Do you get some kind of sick thrill from humiliating others? How would you like it if everypony laughed at you right now, wallowing in that brown muck like a pig?"

Her mouth opened, but she couldn't find any words right away. Eventually, through the growing embarrassment overtaking her, she pointed an accusing hoof at him. "Why are you protecting him?! You were just angry at each other!"

Enigma, for that's who it was, rolled his eyes. "I don't care what you say, I will not stand by and watch someone make fun of my friend!"

She sniffed, slowly climbing out of the puddle. "W-who are you to say what I can do? You're a loser blank-flank and a weak-looking mare!"

Now, the red pegasus was perfectly fine until 'mare'. His eyes narrowed, every muscle in his body tensing. "You dun goofed." He glanced around for a few seconds, the gears in his head visibly turning. He flicked a rock up into the air with his tail and bucked it away, watching as it soared over the audience. "I'll have you know that whether one has a cutie mark doesn't matter, Tiara. What matters is the way one treats others. Oh, and heads up." He took a single step back.

Confused, the filly looked up, only to be covered in a large pile of manure.

From somewhere above them, a gray pegasus flew down, concerned. "Sorry! I just don't know what went wrong!"

Diamond Tiara, however didn't hear her. She popped out of the top of the pile, spitting out pieces of the fertilizer. "Manure! I HATE MANURE!!"

Enigma nodded his head, turning away with a stern look on his face. "Know your place." He flew back up to the stage, slowly approaching the previous center of attention. "Are you okay, man?"

Filter looked at Enigma, but his expression didn't change. "...thanks..."

He smiled calmly, holding a hoof out to his former-adversary. "Don't worry about it. I'd do it for any friend of mine."

The unicorn smiled lightly. He took the red stallion's hoof and shook it. "I should probably get out of here now before something else happens, huh?"

Enigma shrugged, the same calm smile on his face. "Probably. I hope we meet again, Filter."

"Same here, Enigma." For the third time, Filter began walking away. "Seeya! ...again!"

"Bye!" Enigma started to walk towards his other two friends, but paused, calling over his shoulder. "And call me E."

Vinyl gawked, watching as the red pegasus approached her. "...dude, how did you do that?"

The feminine stallion just shrugged, a cheeky grin on his face. "It pays to have a doctorate in physics." He grabbed the microphone, calling out to the audience. "Alright! Who wants to go next?"

A grey pegasus, sleeping on the stage lights, turned his body to get into a position where his wings wouldn't be in the way but fell off and landed in the giant banner. The ropes holding the banker in place snapped off, causing the winged pony to fall hard onto the stage. "...oowww..." He looked up at a red pegasus standing in front of him.

Enigma stared down at him, shock clear on his face. He had no idea what to say about what he just saw, so he kept quiet to keep from embarrassing himself.

Vinyl stepped up next to him, raising her shades in surprise. "...yo, dude...ya alright?" They both held a hoof out to help him up.

He gripped their hoofs, pulling himself back up. "Yeah, I'm alright...I think." He stretched out his hooves, nothing, right wing, ok. He stretched his left wing only a little and a shock of pain shot through the left side of his body. "OW!"

Enigma leaped back, eyes wide in surprise at the sudden exclamation. "I-I'd better go find-"

"Oh my goodness!" The red pegasus and his disk jockey friend were knocked aside as the normally-shy yellow mare rushed over to the injured stallion, a medical kit on her back. She tenderly lifted the wing, making sure not to extend it. "... um... does this hurt, Night?"

He winced at the slightest touch. "Y-yeah!"

Fluttershy immediately lowered the newcomer's wing, pulling some gauze and a couple of splints from her kit. "Don't worry, Doctor Fluttershy will help you!"

Vinyl turned to Enigma, whispering in his ear. "Dude, I thought she only took care of animals."

He copied her movements, trying to be as quiet as possible. "To be fair, I hear we have the same bone structure in our wings as eagles do." They watched in silence as the timid mare gently wrapped the gray pony's wing.

She was soon done with the binding, placing a kiss on the bandaged limb. She froze, eyes wide in shock and a faint blush on her cheeks. " ... s-sorry ... h-habit ... "

Night smiled. "It's alright, thank you Fluttershy". He lifted his injured wing, still hurting but not as much as before.

She blushed even more, opting to hide behind her mane. " ... y-you're welcome ... "

Vinyl sighed, fiddling with her microphone. "Glad he's better. Now, if you don't mind, we kinda have a charity event going on." She took the banner in her magic, as well as three new lengths of rope. She tied the sign back up, nodding at her work before turning to the audience. "Who is our next volunteer?"

The red pegasus gently bumped her side to catch her attention. "Maybe we should ask him." He pointed to the gray pegasus, who was currently being offered a painkiller by their doting friend.

He thanked Fluttershy again and looked at the other two. He raised a hoof like a colt would to a teacher. "So when is this rap battle thing starting? I've been waiting all morning."

All three of the ponies stared at him, unsure what to say.

Enigma was the first to snap out of his stupor. " ... you ... realize they've been going on for a while, right?" He glanced at the sun, noticing it was halfway to where it peak in the sky. He momentarily wondered why he wasn't being blinded. "About two hours, now, to be more precise. Oh well, I'll go get a headset for you." He turned, going to get one from the box next to the illuminated case with the statues.

Vinyl placed a hoof on the gray pegasus' shoulder, shaking her head. "He ran out of his medicine yesterday. He's always like that without it." She grinned, readjusting her shades by the edge of the frame. "So, who do you wanna rap against, dude?"

Night flashed a confident smile at Vinyl. "I'm here to go against you! ... and that mare's a he?" He pointed a hoof at the red pegasus.

The aforementioned stallion, almost back with the headset, fell flat on his face in shock, hitting the stage hard enough to crack a few boards. He immediately stood up, glaring daggers at the gray pegasus. "Not. A. Mare!" He rolled his eyes, tossing the headset so it landed perfectly on the target of his ire before trotting offstage. "You think they'd know by my voice, or something ... "

Night looked back at the DJ in confusion. "Soo...are you his marefriend then?" he said as he adjusted the headset just right. Checking to see if it was working he tapped on the speaker. "This is Mr. New Pegas and you're listening to to Radio New Pegas, your little jukebox in the Pojave Desert. " Night let out a small chuckle. "And if you're wondering if you came to the right place, you have...this is awesome!"

Vinyl blushed deeply, her face taking on a scarlet tone. "N-no! I'm not his marefriend!" She quickly took her place on the opposite side of the stage, grinning slightly to hide her embarrassment. "Ya ready for this, Night Light?"

Night glared at Vinyl with annoyance. "Night Light? The only pony who can call me that is my ... my ... " He looked down at the wooden stage for a few moments, smacked himself in the face and looked back at Vinyl "Ok ... let's do this!"

Fluttershy, now behind the turntables, started up the music, doing her best to keep from nervously shaking.

EPIC RAP BATTLES FOR CHARITY!

NIGHT FLYER

VS.

VINYL SCRATCH

BEGIN!

Listen up Vinyl Scratch cause the challenger's here,
And I hope you'll like what I have to say, my dear
So I heard that you're the town's DJ; that must be nice,
But I wonder, why do you sound worse than a dozen screaming mice?
I mean seriously, go out and repair your equipment
Unless you spent all your bits on all those cello replacements
Or maybe if you stop drinking you'll have a decent desk
You'll also act more like a proper mare than being so grotesque

I'll have you know that my music is best.
Just like my rapping skills; this is no contest.
Of course, what would you know about my sound?
Loud noises turn you into a whimpering hound!
It says here you're a fast flyer. I have to wonder, dude,
Why you can't beat my friend, E, in terms of attitude.
I'm sad to say that, for you, this just turned dire.
I'll take your sad sack of raps and kill it with fire!

I should've known you would bring Enigma into this
So let's see how long it would take for you to get a kiss
But I have to wonder what exactly you do backstage
Either giving head or massaging somepony's package
You'll do anything just to get a few bits
Whatever it is you're doing, just call it quits
If I win or lose here, I don't really care
I'll be leaving here satisfied knowing that you're in despair

At least I have a chance to be with E.
I know you'll never be with the queen of parties!
What, did you think your crush was a big secret?
You follow her around like you're a lost pet!
You can go on thinking that you won this, whelp.
You're only hallucinating - foolin' yourself!
You never stood a chance of winning this fight.
Sorry, Flyer, but it's time to say Night!

WHO WON? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES FOR CHARITY!

The grey pegasus looked at Vinyl with shock, a shade of red forming around his cheeks. "How...did you know...about that?"

The disk jockey shrugged, a small smirk on her lips. "Who else would come up with the nickname 'Night Light'? Frankly, I'm surprised she doesn't call you 'Nightie Wightie'!" She giggled, holding a hoof out to him. "You did well, dude."

Night blushed furiously. The pegasus put his hoof out to shake hers. "Y-you did great, too."

Vinyl grinned, turning to look over her shoulder. "I should check on E." She trotted off the stage to find the red pegasus.

Fluttershy cautiously approached Night, nervous. "...um...would you like me to...take you to a hospital?"

Night looked at Fluttershy and smiled. "Sure, I could use the company."

With that, the yellow pegasus trotted away with the gray pegasus, accompanying him to the hospital.

Soon, the yellow mare returned, but she wasn't alone. In her forelegs she held a tiny, black-and-white kitten. On her face was a brilliant smile, and she approached Enigma, holding said feline gingerly in front of her. "Look, E. I found her on my way back from the hospital. Isn't she just adorable, with these cute little stripes all over her?" The shy pegasus nuzzled the tiny cat, which purred in response.

The red pegasus, on the other hoof, just stared at her in shock. " ... 'Shy?" He pointed a shaky hoof at it, nervous. "T-that's a tiger cub ... "

"I found him first!" shouted a previously unseen mare, whom had apparently been following after Fluttershy.

Fluttershy yelped in surprise, looking at the mare from behind her red friend. She kept the kitten on her back, using her wings to make sure it didn't fall off. "...um...w-who are you?"

The stallion just stood there, silently wondering which pony was correct about the gender of the tiny feline.

"I'm Catnip, but that's not the point! I found that cub, and then as soon as he's five feet away from me you take him!" fumed the tan and blue pony. "I want him back!"

The timid mare hid completely behind the red pegasus, squeaking in fear.

Unable to bear seeing his friend like this, Enigma spoke up. "I'm sorry, but could this little spat happen later? We're kinda in the middle of a charity event." He sheepishly grinned at the blue-maned pony.

"Not until she gives Baron Humbert von Gikkingen back to me." says the pegasus mare firmly.

The two pegasi behind the turntable stare at the other one, unsure about what to think of that.

"Here's an idea." Vinyl came back onstage, a sly smile on her face. "How about a rap battle to decide who keeps the cat?"

Catnip looked at Fluttershy, then the cub, before nodding. "I'm in."

Fluttershy gently moved the cub onto Enigma's back, looking over at the other pony. "...okay..."

Vinyl nodded contentedly, levitating a headset to both of the other mares. She then turned to situate herself behind her turntables. She began the music, making sure that the red stallion was safe behind her.

EPIC RAP BATTLES FOR CHARITY!

CATNIP SPRINKLES

VS.

FLUTTERSHY

BEGIN!

Fluttershy, you're obviously timid and weak;
You've taken things far beyond simply meek.
Pathetic little whispers and itsy bitsy glares;
you won't even come out from behind your hair!
You have only two settings, wimp and monster;
Only ever tough because of another.
You call yourself a pegasus, but you're scared of the sky!
Perhaps you left Cloudsdale because you couldn't fly!

You really should try and calm down, Catnip.
It's not fun when you're angry before you're whipped.
You're a mess, a swathe of tan, brown and blue.
Any of my animal friends can best you.
I don't mean to be rude - no, that's not me.
You paid for this battle, but this lesson's free.
Though it's clear that I'm a very sweet mare,
You'd need a Sprinkle of common sense to be aware.

Oh wow, such originality!
Having my own name used against me?
I'm not losing my cool, just driving a point;
By the time I'm done, you'll run from this joint.
Not that that's the first time for it to happen,
Tornado training, you couldn't get your wings flappin'.
Give it up, Flutters, and don't you whine;
We both know victory is soon to be mine.

You know, it's ponies like you who make me mad,
Thinking they can win with rhythm so bad.
I'm not gonna run; I'll stand my ground
And make you wish that you were in the pound!
You're gonna take a licking, but not from a cat.
Hitting so hard, you'll be knocked flat!
It's not me, it's you who is going to cry!
What, you couldn't handle little Fluttershy?

WHO WON? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES FOR CHARITY!

Catnip smiled lightly. "Good job, Fluttershy. I do intend to have Baron by the end of this, though." she said in a light manner.

Fluttershy smiled back, nodding slightly.

"My name is actually Alagan Dhiren Rajaram." The ponies behind the turntable stared at the tiger cub speaking into the special microphone. Its eyes flickered to Fluttershy, traces of a frown on its muzzle. "And I'm male."

The timid mare blushed brightly, staring at her hooves in embarrassment.

Catnip thought for a moment before replying. "Can I call you Baron Alagan Dhiren Rajaram?" she asked the cub.

The tiny feline looked at her for a moment, apparently deep in thought. "...you can call me Baron Ren. The other thing, I'll admit, is a mouthful."

The tan pegasus smiled in agreement. "Wait," she said, realizing something, "Do you have any qualms about a rap battle for your custody?"

He thought for a moment, looking at the three other ponies on the stage, noticing they were largely still stunned from him speaking. "Truth be told, it was rather entertaining." He purred, eyes narrowing in his mirth.

Taking that as an okay, Catnip grinned. The tan mare looked like she was about to say something, before realizing how many other ponies were waiting for their rap battles. "Oops, it looks like we're causing a line," she said, giving her headset back to Vinyl. "I'll be in the audience if you need me!" With that, she quickly placed Baron Ren on her back, flying to a convenient place amongst the other spectators.

Enigma blinked, following the unique mare as she sat down, a confused look on his face. "...I thought we were going to have somepony else take care of that white tiger cub until the results are in?"

The DJ next to him shrugged, lowering her shades to look directly into his eyes. "And just who would be willing to take care of a tiger?"

He thought for a minute, the gears visibly turning in his head. "...Pinkie?"

"Maybe," the unicorn conceded, sighing, "but do we really want a hyper predator with teeth running around?"

"...um...Vinyl?"

The white mare turned to her friend, smiling kindly. "Yeah, 'Shy?"

The yellow pegasus poked at the stage with a hoof, glancing around nervously. "...the microphone's still on..."

Vinyl and Enigma stared at Fluttershy, their jaws agape. The disk jockey looked at the tiger cub, but almost immediately averted her eyes in embarrassment. "...sorry for what I said?"

The red pegasus began to console her, but the white unicorn was distracted by a familiar face...or, rather, a familiar hoodie. She grabbed her microphone and shouted at the figure. "Hey, Lyrical! Come up here!"

Enigma's ear twitched, that one word catching his attention. "...Lyrical?" He looked up, surprised to see him. "Hey, it is!" He turned to Fluttershy, trying his best to convince her to look.

"Enigma! Vinyl! Fluttershy! How have all of you been?" Lyrical smiles gleefully as he approaches the front of the stage, smiling at the three in front of him. "What's this about a charity?"

"It's a charity event for homeless fillies and colts!" Vinyl pointed up at the banner, grinning widely. "Rap battles for a better future! Impressive, right?" She puffed out her chest, acting as if it was her own idea.

Enigma chuckled, knowing that the disk jockey's father had asked her to form this event. He looked up at Lyrical, keeping a reassuring hoof on the timid pegasus' back. "So, do you want to try it out?"

Lyrical smiled at the act of both Vinyl and Enigma hosting a rap battle concert, using the bits to help little homeless colts and fillies."Course I do! Oh, by the way, I brought this." Lyrical digs into his hoodie's pocket and plops a bag on the ground, making it create a metallic noise."Open it and see what's inside."

The two ponies looked at each other, confused, before opening the bag. Their eyes bugged out, even making Vinyl's shades to pop off at the number of bits. "...dang, dude." She looked up at her friend, but he didn't seem to respond. She waved her hoof in front of his face, but he still didn't react. "...Lyri, I think you broke him."

Lyrical chuckled at Enigma's shocked look."It's okay, Vinyl. He'll be fixed up later..I think.." Lyrical walks over to his pal and shakes him. "Besides, being an underground rapper has it's downs...greed can corrupt you, you know."

"That's true." She sighed, grabbing two headsets from offstage and handing one to Lyrical. "I'll assume you're rapping against me, since E's out of commission right now?"

"Yea...I took a one year tour and recently came back. I missed you guys. Heh, I even miss Gilda." Lyrical chuckled at memories when Gilda tried to...have happy endings with him, though Lyrical did not want to. Not because she's a griffon, but because he already has his eyes on another pony. One that wore his blue hoodie one year ago from today. "So, hows business been going? I like to have small talk before I perform."

She sighed, looking around a bit. "It's been fine, but some strange characters decided to use them for their own gain..."

Lyrical nodded. "Well, I'll be staying in Ponyville for about a month, so I'll come by the Basement and who knows? Maybe me and E can collab on a song." Lyrical smiled at Vinyl, then chuckled at Enigma's passed out body. He looked back at the stage he was standing on, levitated the headset and placed it over his head, covered his head with the hood and closed his eyes. He walked over to the other end of the stage, opening his eyes again, slightly serious.

"Lets do this, Vinyl."

Almost immediately, Fluttershy started the music, starting to get used to her role.

EPIC RAP BATTLES FOR CHARITY!

LYRICAL

VS.

VINYL SCRATCH

BEGIN!

What up E, what up Vinyl Scratch,
I'm here to chill, give out some bits to the foals and whoop your ass.
Buck with me and you will see why they call me MC who raps deeply,
Spit a bit quick, don't get sick from all the lyr-ics I drop more than all your Wubstep beats,
Rapidly, I spit more rhymes as I pass the time multiplied more than Pinkie's clones,
Yea I know about that, but what I don't know is that are you still in the friendzone?
Whip out that bass cannon filly, give me your best shot,
It'll take more than a few lights and Wubstep to take out this colt from Southwest Detrot!

I will have to admit, Lyri, you are quite fast,
But trust me, fillies prefer colts that can last!
Your rhymes may as well be bad fruit in the sink.
They stink, and with them, you'll never win Pinks!
Seriously, you are the third colt crushin' today, dude.
You should stick with the griffon - make her a brood!
You're not Bad Wolf, you're sad wolf, howling at the moon.
With the way you're rapping, this will all be over soon.

Fruit? Naw Vinyl, I'm more meat than juice,
I might howl at the moon, but you'll burn up as soon as you're in the sun not under a roof.
Dude, third colt today? Just what the buck you've been doin?
You're not gonna win E's heart with all that partyin and maybe filly foolin'.
Over? Filly please, I'll still be rapping till the day of my death.
You? You'll be holding your breath and will always be to E just a friend!
And as for your plushie? Ha, don't take this the hard way,
But it gets more love than you will any day!

What do you know? You have too much pride!
Not to mention your friend and his buckin' dark side!
I don't need to move from this spot to whip your sorry plot.
I'm on my way to true love - that's more than you've got!
I'll take a lesson from Tavi and slice you down to size.
It'll teach you for spreading around such awful lies!
Take a look at that glass box right behind me.
You're about to join them in eternity!

WHO WON? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES FOR CHARITY!

"Ow, my lungs." Lyrical gasped. He took notice of the statues behind Vinyl, a slight shiver sending through his spine as he turned away."Nice statues, Vinyl. Is Enigma up yet?"

She glanced over at the pegasus, blinking in surprise as she saw him with the bits that Lyrical donated stacked neatly in a metal box. "I think he's conscious." She walked over to the red stallion, gently tapping his shoulder. "Dude, how much do we have so far?"

He glanced at the bits, smiling brightly. "In total, we have exactly nine thousand bits." Suddenly, a bit was flung at him, pegging him right between the eyes. Groaning, he calmly grabbed the bit off the wooden floor and put it in the box, rubbing his sore forehead. He noticed her staring at him expectantly. "No, I'm not using that ridiculous meme. It's nine thousand one."

Vinyl shrugged, turning to Lyrical. "Thanks for donating, and-"

"OH MY GOSH!" A pink mare suddenly appeared, hanging from the light fixtures by a rope and right in front of the brown unicorn's face. "It's really you, Lyri! I can't believe you're back in Ponyville! This is so exciting, I get to throw you a 'Welcome Back' party!"

"P-Pinkie!" Due to Pinkie Pie surprising him, he jumped back, panting due to adrenaline. Calming down, he blushed slightly and smiled widely. "I missed you too, Pinkie! How have you-"

Pinkie dropped from the dangling rope and brought in Lyrical into a bear hug. "I've been doing great, Lyri! Are you ready for another party? And possibly another performance at your party?"

While in the pink mare's iron grip, he did not hesitate to hug her back. "Yea, I'm ready for another party, Pinkie. Just let me go place my luggage in my old house, and then we can get started after the charity event."

The red pegasus and his white friend stared at her, smiling at the party-mare's antics.

"Great! I'll see you then!" She let him go and ran off, the rope somehow following her and tying the feminine stallion up.

Enigma groaned, trying to wriggle out of the unexpected bindings. "...Vi? Little help, please?" With the white unicorn's help (and a distinct lack of magic use), he was freed.

Vinyl turned to Lyrical, a smirk on her face. "You have a little blush on your face, dude."

Lyrical grinned. "Yea, like you didn't when Enigma wrapped a wing around you when you felt cold before we went to The Basement." Chuckling, he brought down the hood covering his eyes. In the distance, Lyrical thought he heard somepony say "Damn!" but ignored it, grinning at how Vinyl blushed and Enigma raised a brow.

Enigma raised a hoof as if to speak, but stopped himself. He turned to his best friend, whispering in her ear. Not noticing the blush this brought to the unicorn's face, but indeed seeing the gesture towards the turntables, he went over to the device and searched behind it.

Vinyl sheepishly grinned, rubbing the back of her head. "He forgot his meds today and just realized it."

Lyrical nodded. "I understand." Looking in the crowd, he smiled and sniffed that crisp, clean Ponyville air, then his eyes widened. "Oh shit! I almost forgot! Did Scootaloo and the rest of the C.M.C get their cutie marks, and did Scoots fly yet?"

Vinyl raised a hoof, but paused, carefully thinking those questions over. "No, they didn't get their cutie marks, yet...and do you mean flying with or without rune-wings?"

"Rune-wings? That sounds pretty badass." Lyrical smiled at the thought of scootaloo flying high in the sky, sourin' through clouds just like how he pictured it. "And they still haven't got their cutie marks? Guess I'll have to help em' out again. So, do you know where they could be?"

Before the white unicorn could respond, a noise distracted her. Looking to her right, she saw the source of said distraction.

An orange pegasus filly flew up the stairs and towards them, her fuschia-colored, luminescent rune-wings proudly displayed for all. She called to the mottled colt chasing her, not watching where she was going. "C'mon, Pip! We need to-" She finally looked forward, and not too soon, seeing the brown unicorn and screeching to a halt in mid-air, just inches away from crashing into him. She looked up at the hoodie-wearing pony, grinning widely. "Hey! How's it going, Lyrical?"

The smaller colt came to a stop next to her, slightly winded but otherwise perfectly fine. Having a fillyfriend who loved rushing around had its perks. He glanced at the white mare next to Lyrical, smiling brightly. "Hi, sis!"

She smiled back, looking at her little brother with a sisterly affection. "'Sup, bro?" She gave him a noogie, smirking playfully. "You miss your cool sis?"

The colt laughed as he squirmed in her grasp, blushing a bright pink. "P-please, not in front of Scootaloo!"

"Scootaloo?" Lyrical's eyes started to water, and he smiled widely. "Sweet Luna's Moon, SCOOTALOO! YOU'RE FLYING!" Then, his smile slipped away, replaced with a sad frown. "...And I wasn't there for your first flight..."

He turned his head to the lower left, and noticed a small, white and brown-spotted colt, with a wooden sword tied to his back. He turned to Vinyl, raising a brow. "So this is your bro. Well then.." He turned back to the little colt. "What up. Nice to meet you."

Pipsqueak stared up at the taller pony, tilting his head. "Nice to meet you, too. You’re Lyrical, right? Scootaloo told me a lot about you." He smiled brightly, leaning close to the brown stallion, speaking in a loud whisper to make sure the orange filly heard. "She thinks of you as a big brother, you know." This earned him an embarrassed smack on the shoulder from the young pegasus, but he just laughed, nuzzling her cheek.

Vinyl shifted her gaze away from the young couple, focusing instead on Lyrical. "You don’t have to worry about missing her first flight. She’s still just gliding." She gave him a wink, hoping he’d get the hint.

"Well would you look at that." Lyrical smiled at the two young ones in front of him. "Scoots got herself a coltfriend...why don't I have a marefriend?" Lyrical stared at all of the raised brows directed at him. "Oh, I said that out loud? Hehe, well, I missed you too, Scoots. I'll see you, Sweetie Belle Applebloom and your coltfriend later today. I have to go rest for a while back at my crib."

Lyrical brought in Scootaloo into a bear hug, rustling her mane a bit. "Make sure to tell the other Crusaders that I'm here, mkay?"

"Ok!" Scootaloo said. "Come on Pipsqueak, lets go get Spike, Sweetie and Applebloom!" With that, they both left the stage.

Lyrical could only raise a brow. "Spike? I forgot about that dragon, how's he been?"

Vinyl raised a hoof to her mouth, covering her small smirk. "He's pretty much the same as before you left. You know, assisting Twi at the library and Rarity at her boutique. Oh, and he's dating Sweetie Belle, much to Rarity's chagrin."

"aWhaaaaaa-You know what...I actually kind of saw that coming." Lyrical did know that Spike had a crush on Rarity, but Sweetie Belle? How could he have not noticed this before?

"Oh yea, I was gone for a buckin' year."

Lyrical sighed, sad that he missed the good times he could have had with the crusaders. Smiling, he raised his hoof up in front of Vinyl. "Well, better get goin'. Gotta see how well kept the house has been ever since I left. Hopefully Shadow didn't buck anything up. Ha, call me back when the winners have been announced, mkay?"

The white mare nodded, readjusting her shades with a cheeky grin on her face. "Of course, dude. Just be sure to come by the club tonight. We don't want you disappointing Pinks now, do we?"

The light brown unicorn nodded. "Yea, yea. I know what you mean." With that, he exited the stage, looking forward to the party.

Vinyl smiled kindly, waving to him as he left. She sighed, looking over at her set-up, wondering what was taking her friend so long.

Just as she thought that, Enigma reappeared from behind the turntables, his eyes wide in shock. "...I'm out of Adderall..." He groaned, holding his head between his hooves. "I knew I should've gotten my prescription refilled! I don't even know where the pharmacy in Ponyville is, much less have my info in there! What am I going to do!?"

"I've got some right here," said a gryphon as he walked towards the stage. "'Shy warned me that you might need some. Something about noise, but now I see what she meant. What is this?"

"It's a charity event." He pointed to the banner high above the stage. "Rap battles to help raise money for the Charity for Homeless Fillies and Colts." He tilted his head, examining the gryphon in front of him. "You know, you remind me of that Princess from a while back ... minus the attitude, of course."

"Princess? Hardly," the gryphon scoffed, ruffling his feathers in annoyance. "That blasphemous fool will never be my royalty. But where are my manners? I'm Brother Cleon. Fluttershy called me in to see about some," he paused, searching for the right word, "strange magic. Something about alternate realities?"

The red pegasus could only stare, completely confused. " ... alternate realities?"

Vinyl approached, politely coughing. "Probably has to do with those." She nodded at the two statues, still standing on the stage, where they were placed about a week before.

"Statues?" Cleon asked in baffled confusion. "Why would I be interested in—wait, are those what I think they are?"

Enigma turned to the stone ponies, frowning. "I don't know what they are, but the Doctor called them 'Weeping Pegasi'. Any idea what that means?"

"Yes, quite a few," Cleon began, clearly going into a 'lecture mode'. "Many people have said they're a product of Void Magic, but I don't really think that's true. Why would a life form choose to use something so dangerous, anyhow? Either they're very well adapted to it, or—"

"Pardon me." Vinyl interrupted, tapping a hoof on the gryphon's shoulder. "I know you're rarin' to go full lecture right now, but we have a charity event going on." She motioned to the audience. "Maybe you'd be willing to participate? Then you'd have all the time you want to talk to E about it. After it's over."

"I suppose so. I have done stranger things before, but that's not why I came." The gryphon turned towards Vinyl, the chain collar on his neck making a slight jingle. "It must be you, because this one here is clueless, and Fluttershy said it was someone else. Travelling between worlds is dangerous, and I think you need someone to make sure you're okay."

Her eyes widened behind her shades, her mouth slightly agape with surprise. "I feel fine. I don't see why I need attention." She turned, heading back behind the turntables. "'Shy, could you get him a headset? Thank you!" With that, she began to work on a mix for the rap battle.

"Better make that two," Cleon yelled to Fluttershy, leaping onto the stage. "I think we can make this a bit more interesting. What do you say; tag team? Fluttershy and I versus you and," he paused, trying to remember the name, "the clueless one?"

Vinyl raised an eyebrow, confused. "Clueless one?"

"Sorry, I meant wing-head."

The pony in question sighed, gently rubbing the bridge of his nose. "My name is Enigma." He glanced at Vinyl, slightly concerned. "If we did that, then who would take care of the music?"

Fluttershy stepped out from backstage, with two headsets clutched in her mouth. Giving one to Cleon, she said, "Maybe Angel could try? I know he's seen me do it before."

Enigma and Vinyl stared at each other, silently debating. Eventually, Vinyl sighed, shrugging slightly. "I suppose that's fine. As long as he doesn't scratch my records, of course." She left the stage, returning with two more headsets, carefully placing one on the stallion's head and the other on her own.

"Give us a minute first," Cleon interjected. "I'm not going into this blind."

Fluttershy took him aside. The gryphon lay down so that she could reach his ear to whisper advice into it. Feeling it would be rude not to, she flew over to her other friends and gave them some facts they could use as well.

As soon as they were all ready to begin, and Angel was set up behind the turntables, the bunny began the music, shouting into his special microphone.

EPIC RAP BATTLES FOR CHARITY!

CLEON AND FLUTTERSHY

VS.

ENIGMA AND VINYL SCRATCH

BEGIN!

Vinyl Scratch here - I'm gonna start this beatdown!
We'll take a bite of this shy mare and monk clown.
I don't want to hurt 'Shy, but, right now, there's no choice.
Cry while we stomp you - no one'll hear your voice.
We're unbeatable, our thoughts perfectly in sync.
Not that awful colt band, despite what you think.
Now I care to think 'bout it, why are you a monk, Cleon?
That's simple - he hides from the world with his 'religion'.

Now stop right there, you overzealous mare
Even little Flutters here could beat you with a Stare.
As for religion, it's hardly all that,
But sometimes knowledge can keep you intact.
You said these were your friends? How rude!
Even Rarity is never this shrewd!
Angel, dear, how 'bout you pick up the pace.
I could use a faster beat, while we stomp in their face!

You're really calling us shrewd, you lout?
I'll introduce you to Pinks just to see you freak out!
Your flow is so bad, I need to go take a shower.
You don't need to tell me that knowledge is power.
I'm a bucking doctor, harpy Cleon, so you can quote this -
You were only nice to Fluttershy to get her first kiss!
Really, 'Shy, I don't know why you like 'Sir Klingon'.
He'd run from the lowest setting on my Bass Cannon!

Kiss? Why I never!
Don't worry, we'll stop their endeavor.
If you're a doctor, then tell me this:
Why do you think that Vinyl tried to get a kiss?
And you're one to talk, Vi, such a closet nerd
We all know you're the one in that 'Trekkie' Herd.
Did anyone ever tell you that your crush is a mare
Sssh, don't tell him. He might go brush his hair!

You know what? Fuck it! I'm through playing nice! (E?)
I'll freeze you and shatter you when you're turned to ice! (E!)
You know, Cleon, for someone who claims to be holy,
You're acting more like a sack of shit, if you ask me.
And 'Shy? You can go choke on a hay fry!
To think, that you were once a fav of mine!
You two can go fuck yourselves. I'll be okay -
I'll just take Vi out for dinner and a movie. Yay!

Oh great, now he finally gets a clue
Yet still he has to cry. Boo hoo!

WHO WON? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES FOR CHARITY!

I can't believe I'm doing something for charity! What's wrong with me?! I hope the Main Mare gives me some carrots for this.

Fluttershy looked at Angel, a small frown on her face.

NOT THE STARE! ANYTHING BUT THAT!

The bunny hastily fled, not even bothering to take the carrot laying atop the turntable.

"You better run!" called Cleon, shaking his talon at the furry rodent.

Enigma sighed, carefully taking Vinyl's headset off. "That was rather awkward, to be honest." He ran a hoof through his mane, blushing slightly from the embarrassment of losing his temper yet again.

She blushed as well but for a different reason, nervously scratching the ground with a hoof. " ... did you really mean what you said? A-about dinner and a movie?"

The red stallion smiled, gently hugging the unicorn. "Of course." He playfully nuzzled her neck, chuckling softly. "After all, it's been a long time since I ate out with my best friend, right?"

The yellow pegasus, seated on a haystack behind the turntables, gently brought her hoof up to her face, flinching when it connected. " ... ow ... " Apparently, that was her version of facehoofing.

"Can I take back those lines? I guess you didn't get a clue." Cleon padded off of the stage, taking the carrot with him. "Tell me who won," he yelled as he left.

Vinyl sighed, bleakly waving a hoof at the gryphon as he left, a small, forced smile on her face. "Will do, dude." She moved back behind the turntables, where she wouldn't have to worry about yet another moment of heartache.

Enigma sighed, plopping himself down right next to the white unicorn, draping a wing over her shoulders. "Don't worry, Vi. It'll just be us, so you can have whatever you want."

Vinyl blushed even more, her mind drifting to all the things 'whatever you want' could mean, feeling the heat of his . She abruptly pulled away, grabbing the microphone hastily. "A-alright, who else wants to volunteer for a rap battle?"

"Hey! Enigma! How about ye rap against somepony who's not afraid of a sudden show of force?" A black stallion wearing a hat and a coat entered the stage. He appeared to have been wounded in battle, as he was not only missing a ruby-red eye, but also his right hindleg. His broken horn lifted his coat, revealing a big pair of black, leathery wings and a cutie mark consisting of a skull and two swords.

Enigma stared at him blankly. " ... who the buck are you?"

"If I may introduce meself. Me name be Jolly Roger, and I be your worst nightmare!"

"So, I guess you want to have a rap battle against me?"

"We got a smarrrt fella, here. Aye, I want to rap against ye. Don't worry about the details, I asked arround town a bit, and that little Fluttershy lass told me a lot about ye, when I just looked at her." With that, he inclined his head towards the DJ-pult.

The timid mare hid behind the turntables again. "I'm sorry Enigma, he startled me."

Jolly shook his head. "I can't believe that's Cutlass' granddaughter...Anyway, I know all I need to know about ye, so let's get this started. I've seen that outburst of yours at the battle between that griffon gal and that unicorn Idiot. Quite impressive, but I be better!" He grinned mischievously. "Oh, and about the details about me ... there's wanted posters of me all around Equestria. Behind ye for example." Another point of the head made Enigma turn his head in the right direction.

Enigma turned around, just then noticing the wanted poster on the illuminated glass case. " ... how'd I miss that?" He looked back at the pirate pony, an eyebrow raised. "130,00 bits? Really?"

"Hey, ye don't go plundering a few navy ships without having a price put on your head..."

The red stallion thought for a moment, staring at the wanted poster. "...a chance to rap against a pirate?" A grin slowly formed on his face, and he turned back to the unusual pony. "I like it!" He grabbed a couple headsets, tossing one over to the black pony. "Think fast!"

Jolly easily caught the headset in an aura of black magic. "Easy. Thinking fast becomes essential when ye live between cannonballs and bullets."

Enigma smirked cheekily, putting his own on. "We'll see if that works for rap battles, as well." He nodded to his friend, never taking his eyes off the other stallion.

Vinyl smiled softly, waiting for the pirate pony to put on his headset before starting the music.

EPIC RAP BATTLES FOR CHARITY!

JOLLY ROGER

VS.

ENIGMA

BEGIN!

Well, well, well, what have we here?
Enigma, the grounded pegasus! What should I do, me dear?
You're even too lazy to find ye own cutie mark!
And after you've shown power, ye just hide in the dark!
You're not even aware your favourite DJ has the hots for you!
You'll be back hiding in her guest room after I am through!
It's true, I may have been thrown out of the Royal Navy,
But ye soon will see that me battles still are gravy!

I don't like to brag, but I just know you'll lose.
Just like dynamite, you're gonna blow your fuse.
You think I haven't tried to find my talent, deck swab?
I've three degrees and experience from twenty jobs!
You have a broken horn? Here, let me fix that.
I'll snap the rest of it off and wear it as a hat.
I'll chop off the rest of your legs to make them match.
Excuse me while I drink this lemonade. Down the hatch!

Oh yeah? Well, I'm Equestria's mightiest pirate, Lad!
Who cares if me body's incomplete, it just shows all the victories I had!
I'm getting treasure after treasure far beyond imagination,
Me grandfather was Discord, the true king of this nation!
Me crew of cut-throat-creatures is more than meets the eye.
It consists of ponies, dragons and griffons soaring in the sky!
They'll make you walk the plank, you silly little idiot,
'Cause I'm CAPTAIN Jolly Roger and I won - believe it!

What are you - a ninja or a pirate, you cur?
Big whoop, your dad's an incarcerated monster.
You may be the best pirate, but answer me this
What other pirates besides your sad crew exist?
I suppose you may be smart, but challenging me was dumb.
Why don't you go drown your sorrows in a pint of rum?
Before that, I should mention that while you may be big, tyke,
I hear your lower horn's the size of a claw of Spike's!

WHO WON? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES FOR CHARITY!

Jolly's eye widened, but, apart from that, he kept his cool. "Okay, I give ye that: Ye CAN rap, and ye are not half bad at it. It was an honor to fight ye. But the winner is still chosen by the viewers. How about I invite ye for a swig o' rum on my ship while we be waiting?"

Enigma frowned, wincing slightly in response to the suggestion. "...can I bring lemonade, instead? I-I can't drink alcohol..."

"Oh, that's a shame. Me first mate makes such a good rum! But, if ye really can't drink alcohol, of course bring some lemonade. Now that I think about it... rum and lemonade... that could be a great mix... bring as much as you want!"

The pegasus nodded, holding a hoof out to the other pony, a smile on his face. "I'll be there, then. It was fun rapping against you, Captain Roger."

"Same here. So, ye coming? My crew is waiting for a party. Inigo has outdone himself!" With that, he went off the stage, the quiet 'tap-tap-tap-tock' of his hooves slowly disappearing as he went towards the port.

Enigma gathered all four of the headsets up, depositing them in their container before returning to his seat next to his best friend. They sat together in silence for a few moments before he turned to her, a mix of confusion and curiosity on his face. "...do you really have a crush on me?"

Her head snapped to him, her shades flung off from the motion, showing her widened magenta eyes. "N-no! Of course not!"

He leaned back to see her better, examining her body language. The beginning of beads of sweat... He glanced at her hooves, crossed in front of her. ...defensive posture... He directed his attention to her eyes, watching as she glanced away. ...inability to hold eye contact... " ... you're lying." He rubbed the back of his head, a blush beginning to show through his dark red fur. "...I...never knew you felt that way..."

Vinyl sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. "...I wanted to tell you...but it was hard to find the perfect moment..." She looked up at him, her eyes beginning to fill with tears. "...I understand if you don't f-"

She was silenced by his lips against hers. She froze, her watery eyes wide in surprise. Slowly, she melted into the kiss, gently pressing back. No tongue, no lewd behaviors, just a chaste, loving kiss...and it was everything she'd hoped it would be - everything she ever dared to dream.

He slowly pulled away, a little smile on his face. "How about we make that 'dinner and a movie' a date?" She shakily nodded, causing him to chuckle playfully. "Anyways, we've raised three times what we'd planned as our goal. Nopony else is about to participate, so what say you we wrap this up, Vi?"

She blinked, clarity almost instantly returning to her mind. She smiled happily, giving her crush - no, coltfriend - a little nuzzle before turning back to the audience.

"Alright!" Vinyl smiled, holding up a box with the donated money. "It seems we've exceeded our goal! Sadly, there's no more volunteers for the rap battles, so-"

The rest of her sentence was interrupted as a loud buzzing noise filled the air and something began to appear on the stage. It looked almost like a rip in the air itself, light flooding from it and causing everypony to shut their eyes and look away. After several long moments, the light and noise died down, and two new figures stood on the stage.

Both figures were bipedal, standing on two legs, but they also had two arms each. Each arm ended in a five-fingered hand. One figure had their arms crossed over their chest, while the other simply let them hang at their sides. Vinyl recognized them from her ... adventures ... as humans.

Aside from the basics, the humans looked somewhat different from each other. One was taller and was clothed in black jeans, a green t-shirt underneath a gray jacket, and a pair of sunglasses with yellow and green frames. The other was shorter and wore blue jeans, a white t-shirt, a plaid jacket, and a black hat. They both were staring at Vinyl and Enigma with looks of irritation.

"Wh-who are you?" Vinyl stammered, frightened.

"Call me 'Nice Peter' and him 'Epic Lloyd'," the taller one replied. "The original creators of the Epic Rap Battles of History."

Vinyl blinked in confusion. "The ... what?"

"The show that your little project is based on," the shorter human - Lloyd, apparently - snapped. "We worked hard on it, only to hear that in some other world, our idea is being replicated, and the thieves are taking all the credit for it!"

Enigma stepped forward. "So ... you travelled across worlds, just to get mad at us for using an idea that is coincidentally similar to yours?"

Both humans looked at each other and shrugged. "Pretty much," Peter answered.

"We decided a way to settle this would be through a rap battle," Lloyd continued. "The two of us, versus the two of you. If we win, you have to stop making these battles!"

There was a collective gasp from everypony present. Enigma and Vinyl looked at each other, worried. Finally, Enigma looked back at Peter and Lloyd nervously. " ... and ... if we win?"

"We'll leave and you can keep doing these," Peter responded. "You up to it?"

A determined look spread across the red pony's face. He turned to Vinyl, who wore a similar expression. At once, they turned back to the opposing rappers and spoke. "You're on."

Soon enough, the contenders were ready to begin the rap battle. Fluttershy, meanwhile, was shaking in her horseshoes, hoping that she would be able to do a good job. She adjusted the microphone so it was in front of her mouth and, with a flick of her wing, started the music.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF...

Fluttershy paused, a sudden thought occurring to her. " ... I'm sorry ... what do I call this?"

Peter sighed. "Just ... do what you normally do."

" ... oh ... okay ... "

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

EPICLLOYD AND NICEPETER

VS.

VINYL SCRATCH AND ENIGMA

BEGIN!

These little ponies think they can just steal our fame?
Let's show them why we're the masters of this rapping game
From John Lennon through Bill Gates, we've lit the world on fire
Now we get to punish you punks like it's Dis Raps For Hire!
We didn't create the Epic Rap Battles of History
For them to be copied by some guy named EnigmaMystere
You think you can rap? You're just some creatures from the Hub
With worse dialogue and story than a 4kids anime dub!

Whoa, calm down there; don't have a heart attack, old man
Panting like you just came from a marathon you ran
Want some heroin, cue ball? You seem a bit under the weather
You can't claim copyright on rap battles, they've been around forever!
Aww, did you just realize you can't take us down?
Ask around Ponyville, we've got the support of the whole town
You Ain't Got No Watch, so let me tell you the time:
Thirty seconds away from your ultimate demise!

Lemme just step right in; this is just getting boring
Denying you ripped off our idea is freaking annoying
You're just a couple of horses with wings or a horn
Hell, even Lloyd here makes you look short! (Hey!)
Name just one person who'd pick your show over ours
You don't do real rap; you're all sunshine, rainbows, and flowers
You lame thieving ponies; your punishment is due
To top it off, half your raps weren't even written by you!

Alright, that's enough from both of you, hear me?
You don't seem to be listening, so I'll state my words clearly
You, Mr. Lloyd, are anything BUT epic
Every one of your rap attempts is nothing short of pathetic!
And "Nice" Peter? You go and call yourself that
Yet you come and complain just because we ALSO like to rap?
You're both just jealous that you can't beat us; I have no doubt
So shut up, buck up, and go! Enigma, out!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Thanks to all of the people who helped with this chapter! And a special thanks to RLYoshi for writing the surprise rap featuring NicePeter and EpicLloyd!

None of the guest OC's are mine. Broadway Bound belongs to runforever101, Pop Filter belongs to RLYoshi, Night Flyer belongs to Lazypoisonfl, Catnip Sprinkles belongs to Sphye, Lyrical belongs to gordobraveheart, Cleon belongs to xXSilverLiningXx, and Jolly Roger belongs to ... Jolly Roger. They all wrote the parts for their OC's, just so that's clear.

Anyone else think that the latest Epic Rap Battle of History could've been better? Still, it's something, and my vote in that one goes to Sherlock Holmes and Watson.

And remember, comment number 4900 gets either a sneak peek at the next few rap battles, or decides one of the characters for #24.

Oh, and some of you have been asking what my Gameloft username is, for the My Little Pony iOS game. It's enigmaMystere. Do with that what you will.

This is the longest chapter I've ever written (with help, of course). I promise no other chapter will be this long. Normally, I keep them short not just for the readers, but also to make it easier to edit. So if you see any grammar/spelling mistakes, I apologize. I really did try to comb them all out. Also, while this is sort of an unofficial chapter, the votes will still be counted.

There's a few references in this chapter, but they're rather hard to see, to be fair. Unless you're into 1980s films and/or slightly obscure fantasy/adventure books, you might miss a few.

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Bonus Chapter: Results and Aftermath & Rap Battle #21

"THIS CHAPTER HAS NOTICABLE AMOUNTS OF OC'S IN IT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED."

...Vi, why did you use all caps?

"Because I felt like it." "On to the story!"

Catnip was seated in the ponyville park, Ren sitting near and playing with a pile of leaves.

Fluttershy, having been flying around the city, psyching herself up as she searched for them, softly landed close by, a nervous smile on her face. "...um...Catnip?" She poked a hoof at the ground, glancing at the little white tiger cub romping among the fallen leaves. "...is it alright...if you don't mind, I mean...for me to spend a little time with Dhiren?"

Catnip frowned, but reluctantly said, "I guess so. He's mostly playing with the leaves," she said, a smile returning when he jumped into a pile, scattering leaves all around.

The timid mare stood there for a moment, wondering when it had become fall. Pushing that thought aside, she crouched down, placing a small headset on the ground near the striped feline. "...here you go, Dhiren...this is a special device, like the one you used this morning..." She nudged it a little closer, a delicate smile on her face. "...it should allow you to talk with us freely..."

Adjusting the headset, Dhiren asked the yellow and pink pegasus, "Have the results come in yet? I am interested in whom has been declared winner."

Fluttershy gave a small squeak, hiding behind her mane. "...um..." She glanced at the other pegasus, nervous. "...you see...the thing is..." Her gaze fixed onto her hooves, and she mumbled something indecipherable.

"What's that?" asked the other two simultaneously.

The butter-yellow mare swallowed, mustering up as much courage as she could. "...i-it's a tie..."

"One more try?" asked Catnip.

"Indeed, even I can hardly hear you," Dhiren said lightly.

She sighed, closing her eyes and pretending that she was talking to her white bunny. "...i-it's a tie...ten votes to ten votes..." She looked up at the other mare from where she lay on the ground, sniffing slightly. "...I'm sorry..."

"It's okay," Catnip said, though her face showed she was less than certain of what that meant for their... wager. "No need to be upset. It just means we need to figure out somehow else who Baron Ren will stay with." The tan pegasus looked at Ren, silently asking him to offer some sort of suggestion.

Surprisingly enough, it was Fluttershy who spoke up. "...well...it may not be our...um, deal...but we could just...have joint custody?" She squeaked again, turning her head away from the others.

"Hmm, I see no harm in that," Catnip said, apparently to the other pegasus' relief.

The timid pegasus smiled softly at the other mare, rather pleased they could compromise. She looked down at the little white tiger, watching as he 'stalked' a toy mouse. "...so cute..."

Enigma sat at a table crafted from an empty treasure chest. He sipped at his lemonade, the two extra pitchers he brought sitting in front of him and the others. Frankly, he had no idea what to call two of them, besides 'EpicLloyd' and 'Nice Peter'.

The mentioned characters sat on opposing sides, ignoring the sour drink in favor of ones they brought with them in a metal cylinder.

Jolly took a swig from the mix of lemonade and rum he made and asked out loud: " So, when will we know who won?" EpicLloyd and NicePeter nodded in unison, showing their agreement with the question.

The pegasus shrugged, a small smirk on his face. "Depends." He turned to the taller of the two creatures, tilting his head a little. "...do you have a cell phone on you?"

Peter pulled out the cell phone from his pocket and gave it to Enigma. "Here. But how excatly are you going to use it with hooves?"

He waved his hooves in a playful yet silly manner. "Magic.~" He stopped, chuckling softly, extending his wings and wiggling the tips of his feathers. "It's not a hand, but they've worked before on Vi's phone." He grabbed the phone, setting it flat on the table.

Turning to the side slightly, he deftly manipulated the screen, navigating through a series of web pages. "...let's see...oh! There we are!" He stopped, pulling his wing away and flexing it, causing him to wince slightly. "...always a pain...anyways!"

He stared at the screen, looking at the numbers next to the names. "...okay, so...Captain Roger got ten votes...and I got...ten..." He sat there dumbly, unsure what to think. "...it's a tie?"

"Well, that be a surprise. I guess we be pretty evenly skilled in rapping. But I'm actually more interested in the result of the battle between ye, Vinyl and these two gents."

This time Lloyd spoke up. "Yeah. Who won this one? Please tell us quickly, I've got heroin jokes to make."

Enigma nodded, turning sideways to manipulate the phone once more. A few more taps, and he turned to look at the results. "...twenty-five...and three..." He rubbed the back of his head, sheepishly grinning. "...um...Vi and I won..." He held out a hoof, giving his best friendly smile. "You did quite well, though. I almost lost my cool during it, to be honest."

A pair of golden eyes peered into one of the windows, staring directly at the two creatures with a sense of awe. Lips curled up into a grin as the sea-green mare whispered to herself. "Humans.~"

Lloyd and Peter frowned, but they were good sports about it. "Now that I think of it, we weren't the first to make Epic Rap Battles, either..." LLoyd began.

"Yeah, now that you remind me... didn't Rhett and Link make one before we started this stuff?" Peter remembered.

Enigma stared directly at them, frowning slightly. "...I have no idea who those two are..." He gently grabbed the phone in his teeth, holding it up for the taller one to take.

Suddenly, a unicorn mare leaped through the window, giving a tackle-hug to one of the humans. She nuzzled his side affectionately, not caring about any stares she was receiving.

The feminine stallion stared at the scene, unsure what to think. He just tilted his head in confusion, somehow keeping his grip on the phone.

Jolly laughed heartily at the scene. "Okay, Lyra, I'm sure Lloyd and Peter will give ye an autograph if ye ask them nicely... So, now that we know who won ye gonna tell the other competants their results?"

The red stallion rubbed the back of his head, frowning slightly around the phone in his mouth. "...ahlmofst evfrypony elfse lofst..." Realizing how silly this seemed, he put the device back on the treasure chest table. "One other got a tie, and another actually won."

He glanced at Lyra, noticing (with a reasonable amount of shock) that she was rubbing her face against one of Epic Lloyd's hands.

"Well, who did win then? I'm kinda curious. And Lyra, come on! Lloyd may be a human, but he can't tell ye how to get hands. Ask Pinkie, she knows."

Enigma thought for a moment, trying to recall. "...I...I actually don't remember..." He looked at the phone, shrugging a little. "I suppose I can look it back-"

A rather large wave shook the ship, causing the mobile device to slide off the table. It hit the floor, breaking apart.

The female-looking stallion stared dumbly at the shards on the floor. "...never mind, then..."

Peter stared at the pieces in shock "That was a brand new mobile phone! How could it break so easily? *sigh* I think I'll get a nokia now..."

Jolly wondered something else "Where did that wave come from? The ponyville port is secluded from the open sea..."

Enigma looked out the porthole, looking into the water. "...I think I know..." He sighed, staring at the large white stallion in the water, bemused. "You having fun out there?"

"YEAAAH!"

The mint-green unicorn, meanwhile, had taken a notepad out, sketching the two humans in front of her. She paid close attention to their hands and clothes.

"Come on, Lyra! It be getting ridiculous! These two have to leave soon. Ye may ask them to answer ye three questions, but that's enough!"

"Yes!" Lyra leaped up, smiling brightly at the two humans. "Okay, so what do humans eat? What are your hobbies? Can I see you without your clothes?" She was extremely close to them, now, her hooves on their laps.

Enigma just stared at her, an eyebrow raised. ...is she...insane?

Lloyd and Peter stared at her, unsure what to think of the behaviour of the mint-coloured mare. "Uhh, we eat all kinds of stuff, although I try not to eat strange candy from other countries" Peter answered.

Lloyd was wierded out too, but he still managed to answer the second question. " Well, my hobbies include... chess, rapping, comedy and making jokes about heroin on the behind the scenes of our series, the Epic Rap Batlles of History."

The last question was answered by both of them in unison: "And we'd prefer to keep our clothes on. We got a REALLY nasty farmers-tan. You don't wanna see that."

She stared at them, her quill pausing in the middle of a word. "...what's a 'farmer's tan'?" She shook her head, smiling up at them. "Thank you for the information. I suppose I'll have to wait for another time for diagrams."

There was a small moment of silence. Lyra grabbed Peter's hand and nuzzled it before rushing off the ship, notebook in magical tow.

Enigma stared, entirely unsure what to make of that.

Jolly shook his head, smiling"Good old Lyra. still fascinated of that whole "Anthropology-stuff.So, were be ye two going now?" He looked At NicePeter and EpicLloyd.

"Dunno. Probably home. Got battles to shoot, picture songs and Dis Raps to make." They pulled out a strange device, sort of ripped the air apart and disappeared.

"Well, that was strange. On a kind of related note: keep those weird Weeping Pegasi locked up, looking at each other. Those things be bucking creepy."

The red pegasus nodded, turning to leave as well. "I'll be sure to do that. Have a nice evening, Jolly!"

"You, too, lad, You too."

Vinyl sipped her lemonade, calmly watching the ponies dancing in her club. The day had gone well, and she was relaxing with her brown unicorn friend backstage. Noticing the music was ending, she used her magic to put another record on and made a seamless transition.

With a small smile, she poked a friendly hoof at her friend. "You did great out there, dude. And props to your performance in the rap battle, too."

Lyrical smiled at Vinyl. "Thank you. You know, you did great out there, too, Vinyl." He was bobbing his head back and forth, liking the music of Vinyl's. Wubstep. "And I actually like your wubstep, it's just that it's a bit too...loud." Lyrical sheepishly grinned. "Also, I don't think you're a filly fooler. I was just wanting to get the fandom riled up."

Realizing what he said, he chuckled. "Ha, I've been spending to much time with Pinkie."

Vinyl smirked, nodding nonchalantly. "Yeah, she rubs off on you after a while. And I realize the fandom likes the idea of Tavi and I, but would it kill them to think of my feelings on the matter? She's just a good friend. I don't see them shipping Trixie and Twilight!" She thought about that for a few moments. "...strike that, I think that's one of the more common shippings."

She sat back against the sofa for a few moments, calmly listening to the dubstep spilling out of the violet velvet curtains. Her mind drifted back to earlier that day, and the kiss she'd shared with the dark red pegasus. Her face began turning a bright red, and a small, dreamy smile slowly formed on her lips.

Lyrical nodded. "To be honest, I think the two most famous ships, are Rarishy and Appledash." Lyrical then noticed to deep blush on Vinyl's face.

"...'bout time he asked you out."

Her attention snapped to him, glad her shades hid her shock. She sheepishly grinned, rubbing the back of her head. In a desperate attempt to drop the subject, she clung to the previous one. "I-I don't see how anyone can consider those ships feasible. I mean, yeah, they're cute, but Rarity's with that hotshot Wonderbolt (she met him in Canterlot, can you believe that?) and Dashie has Big Mac." She turned to look off into the distance, smirking slightly. "Of course, that's only in this story."

Her phone suddenly vibrated, catching her off-guard. Pulling it out, she began to read, her eyes growing wider with each word, visible since her sunglasses had slid down her nose. She put it down, holding a hoof out to Lyrical. "Congrats, dude. You won the rap battle."

"First, Hayseed Turnup TruckxRarity and TwiMac are better, Filly please." Lyrical then changed the subject."And I one? Really? What was the score?"

"Oh, and Dr.Whooves and Derpy/Ditzy. No doubt."

She stared at him a moment, uncomprehending. "You know what, I'm not gonna argue. Opinions are opinions, but we do share that last one." She sighed, pushing her shades back up her nose. "Anyways, the count was twelve to seven, and you were the only one to actually win their rap battle. Two of the others were ties, but I don't think they'd really be happy with that."

She giggled, resting her head on a hoof, twirling her glass to watch the tart liquid and ice spin. "I do have to wonder how Catnip and 'Shy will decide who keeps that tiger..."

"It's simple, really." Lyrical then got up from the couch, placing his forehooves in front of him, as if he were holding something.

"Rock, paper, scissors."

The disk jockey just stared blankly at him. "...and how would that work, dude? They don't have hands, or even claws, like Spike or Gilda." She glanced behind him, calmly sipping her lemonade. "Unless you mean with their wings, but that would just be uncomfortable, don't you think?"

"...Rock, rock, rock?"

Vinyl shrugged, continually glancing behind her guest. "There'd be no way to tell who won. I suppose they could have joint custody, but that hardly ever works." A small smirk crossed her lips, hidden by the glass of lemonade as she took another sip. "Oh, and you have a visitor, Lyri."

A pair of talons covered his eyes, and a sultry voice whispered in his ear. "Guess who, lover-colt?" A beak teasingly nibbled on the ear, nowhere near hard enough to hurt but definitely enough to be felt.

Lyrical's eyes widened as he mouthed "FFFUUUUUU-" Turning around, Gilda, the Princess of the Griffonlands, embraced him in a warm hug.

"....Gilda...What..are you doing here?"

She pulled back long enough to give him a lustful look. "What, I can't say hello to my favorite unicorn?" She attempted to kiss him directly on the lips, completely ignorant of the eye-roll from Vinyl.

The white unicorn looked off into the distance, her thoughts coming to her own favorite pony. I wonder how E is doing with that Roger fellow?

"The beak, the BEAK!" Lyrical panicked. Using his magic, he levitated Gilda away from him, floating her right in front of his face. "Gilda, how and when did you get here? I thought you had some royal business stuff with King Peter?"

The griffon rolled her eyes, scoffing slightly. "He doesn't need me for that - besides, it ended for the day over an hour ago." She smiled playfully, lightly tracing circles in the stallion's fur with a talon. "Five hundred miles is nothing for me to get to you." She swiftly gave him a small kiss on the cheek, blushing brightly. "You're the only pony that matters in my life."

She grabbed him by the back of the head, pulling him close and growling softly in his ear. "And if you ever tell anypony that, I'll personally take you someplace private to receive...'punishment'."

Vinyl stared at the slightly tsundere griffon, an eyebrow quirked.

Lyrical could feel his cheeks glowing red, his ears burning. "I'm not sure if I should be scared or arou-NOPE."

Vinyl stepped between them, stopping Gilda from kissing the brown unicorn. "Listen, I know we don't have any policy regarding public displays of affection in this bar, but I need you to stop harassing my friend."

She scowled at the disk jockey, getting close to her face. "And what will you do if I don't?"

The white unicorn placed a hoof on the edge of her shades, readjusting them. "Well, then I'll have to introduce you to my Bass Cannon."

Gilda leaped back, her eyes wide with terror. "F-fine. But he still is getting married to me!" She flew out the back door, leaving the two ponies by themselves.

Lyrical sighed. "Thanks Vinyl, but, to be honest, Gilda's a nice mare, but I'm kind of in the middle between choosing her, and...you know."

Vinyl smirked, gently tapping his shoulder. "I know, dude. Your crush on them is as clear as mine was on E." She frowned, wondering why said pegasus was so oblivious to her feelings. She snapped out of her reverie, blushing brightly. "E-either way, dude, I'm sure you'll be happy."

"I guess." Lyrical inhaled, then exhaled deeply. "Welp, I'm bored. Got any ideas with what I can do? I mean, now that this chapters' almost over?"

Vinyl stared at the other unicorn, completely uncomprehending. "...dream? What do you mean by that?"

Lyrical's normal, dopey smile turned to a serious expression. "I can't tell you much Vinyl, for if I do I am afraid of buckin' up your deep sleep while I'm in here." Lyrical went into his hoodies pocket, and pulled out a spinning top. "Here."

She tentatively took it in her hoof, more confused than before. "...what am I supposed to do with this, Lyri?"

Lyrical's serious expression then turned back to his usual smile. "Spin it when the time is right. Otherwise you'll be stuck here."

"FOREEEEVER!"

Startled, Vinyl leaped teen feet in the air. Turning around, she saw a familiar pink mare peeking her head out of a shelf of records. Calming down, she chuckled sheepishly to herself. "You startled me, Pinks."

Lyrical jumped back a bit. "Pinkie? You're suppose to be with Enigma and the others. making sure Vinyl's safe! What and how are you doing here?!"

Pinkie Pie walked up to Lyrical, giggled and then took out a cupcake out of her cotton candy-like mane. "Silly Lyrical, I can break walls too, remember?" She then chomped the cupcake whole, swallowing it easily.

"I...my argument is invalid." Lyrical chuckled.

The disk jockey was thoroughly discombobulated. "...I...it just...wha?" She held her head, groaning in annoyance. "...darn these ponies...they'll drive me back to drinking..." She stared at them, pulling her shades off so she can see them clearly. "What the buck is going on here!?"

Suddenly, the building began to shake. Lyrical looked around frantically, his brows furrowing. "Damnit! We need more time!" He turns to Vinyl and nods at her. "Spin the top Vinyl!"

Still very much confused, she did as she was told, spinning the top. She could tell that her club was shaking, but she knew she hadn't set her bass that high. She grabbed the brown unicorn by the shoulders, scowling mostly from stress. "What the buck is going on, dude!?"

Lyrical then started shaking her as well. "You're in a deep sleep Vinyl, you need to wake the buck up! Enigma and other ponies are waiting for you!"

She blinked, looking around at her club. The walls - they were the wrong color. The ceiling, the entire building, was crumbling around her. She held her head, screaming as a large block was about to crush her.

Vinyl shot up in bed, eyes wide and her body covered in a cold sweat. She breathed deeply, calming herself down. "...it was...just a dream?" She sighed, relieved that everything wasn't crashing down around her.

Her relief, however, was short-lived, as a thought hit her like a ton of bricks. She growled, pounding the bed she was laying on with her hooves, glaring at a random spot on the wall. "Dang it, I didn't get to kiss him!" She crossed her hooves over her chest, pouting at how unfair it was.

"Don't be so sad, Vinyl." A black tentacle held a small cup of lemonade in front of her. "There's always tomorrow."

Vinyl took the cup, drinking the soothing yet tart drink. "You're right, Slendy." She turned to the creature, a small smile on her face. "So, how are things going with you and Tavi?"

The being turned its featureless face to the disk jockey. "I don't see how that is any of your business."

Vinyl shrugged, grabbing a white plush toy with her magic. "I still can't believe E has this. I mean, they only gave it out at one gig I did, and that was when I was sixteen!"

"You should believe, Vinyl Scratch."

The unicorn blinked, turning to the black-and-white tiger cub sitting on the dresser. It looked back at her, a subdued smile on its muzzle.

"You should always believe."

Enigma fell out of bed, sprawled awkwardly on the floor. Groaning, he slowly got up, gently flexing his wings to make sure they weren't broken. "What a strange dream." He chuckled to himself, holding his treasured white toy in his hooves. "Like she'd ever like me that way."

With a small, sad smile, he gently kissed the plushie on the nose. "...I hope Neon makes you happy, Vi..." He hugged it close, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

After a few minutes of silence, he noticed a note on the bedside table. Raising an eyebrow, he grabbed it, bringing it close to read it.

Enigma flew to the town square, still wondering at the letter on his dresser. What kind of pony sends a vague message like 'come to town square, and bring the mics!'? He landed on the orchestral stage, stretching his wings a little to keep them from getting too stiff. I need to work out more. He glanced around the large stage, arching an eyebrow. And we really need to return this stage. He took notice of the rolled-up cloth attached to the catwalk, as well as the turntables near the back. "Vi? Are you here?"

A blue-maned head popped up from behind the equipment, her eyes wide in surprise. She fumbled for her shades next to a stack of records, quickly putting them on and moving around the electronics. She grinned at him, motioning a hoof towards the stage. "What do ya think, E?"

He looked around once more. The same hardwood flooring. The same walls that amplified sound. The same setup for the disc jockey. What was different? He turned to her, an eyebrow raised questioningly.

Realizing that he didn't see it, Vinyl looked up, seeing the rolled-up cloth high above their heads. She facehoofed, pulling on the strings holding the cloth shut with her magic, which let the banner unravel. The words 'Epic Rap Battles for Charity' were written across it in bold, bright red letters. She spread her hooves wide, grinning once more. "Ta-da! I invited a bunch of ponies from your address book, my address book and 'Shy's address book, as well as had Ditzy put posters up in multiple cities, to take part in rap battles. For charity! Everypony who watches is asked to donate to the Charity for Homeless Fillies and Colts!"

Enigma scratched his head, frowning deeply. "...this all seems strangely familiar..." He glanced out at the growing crowd, half-expecting to see a lone white filly approaching them.

To his surprise, a white pony did appear - but she wasn't a filly, and she wasn't alone. Before him stood the two rulers of Equestria, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. As was custom, everypony bowed in reverence.

Celestia smiled at the scene, holding a hoof up modestly. "Now, now, everypony, there's no need for that."

The younger of the two sisters approached the disc jockey and her friend, an apparently neutral expression on her face. "Did thou enjoy thy dreams last night?"

Enigma blinked, staring at the lunar mare, finally noticing the small smile tugging at a corner of her lips. He opened his mouth to ask how much she knew, but decided it would be pointless.

Luna looked back at her sister, her serious expression back. "We are done here, Tia. We did what you asked us to."

"Oh, I don't think so, Lulu." Celestia stepped up next to her sister, a playful smile on her face. "Vinyl Scratch, my sister and I would like to participate in your charity event."

The princess of the night glared at her little sister, frowning openly. "We did not agree to this."

"Read the banner, Luna."

Confused, the darker alicorn turned her eyes upward. Scanning the words, she turned back to her sister, a bemused look on her face. "...do you realize what you are asking, Tia?"

The white mare used her magic to bring a couple headsets from offstage. "Think of it as a way to get me back for interrupting your game of Minecraft."

Luna narrowed her eyes and sat down, crossing her hooves over her chest. "Challenge accepted."

Soon enough, the Royal Sisters were ready, and the two ponies behind the turntables were discussing what song to use for the rap battle. Having a bit of trouble, they decided to just use a song Vinyl found by somepony named 'Mando', giving it her own hip-hop remix.

Deciding that would have to do for now, the music began. Everypony in the audience cheered wildly for what they hoped would be best rap battle ever.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

Oh little Woona, It's nice to have you back,
And I'm not mad; all teens go through a rebellious act.
Yours was just a bit angry and sad,
I'm graceful like mom. You? You're enraged like dad.
Don't take this seriously, Lulu, I do care for you,
But you have no clue how much ponies fear you, too!
Remember, big sisters always know best,
Now stop no-lifing on those game consoles; get some rest.

We're like our parents, big sis; I know that's true,
But you're forgetting that dad was the brains of the two.
When you were little, you thought the sky made the snow.
I have a life, Tia; of course, you wouldn't know.
I play in-pony games as well as ones on the PlayStallion.
You're obsessed with Japonese animes, o-nii chan!
I'm surely going to win, just as the sun always sets.
I have a wealth of info at hoof - welcome to the Internet!

Oh, Luna, why are you so serious?
This is just for fun and laughter, or has Moonshine made you delirious?
It's obvious that before the moon rose, was the sun,
I don't play games very much, but in trolling, I'm number one!
Ah the internet, such a place of wonder and more,
But Luna, I'm tired of hearing you clopping to that Playcolt Porn!
And as for anime, well, that's the best since reading manga,
Better calm down or get a face full of GIGA DRILL BREAKA!

You wish your silly little drill was one of a kind.
My special hadouken will easily blow your mind.
I don't make moonshine anymore, since hard cider is abound.
Go ahead, search my stuff - there's no porn to be found.
I wish the same could be said for you, Molestia;
You have the largest 'dungeon' in all of Equestria!
You have a thing for Sparkle? Too bad she's not into fillies.
Face it, sis, I'm about to end this with a FATALITY!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Special thanks to RLYoshi, Spiralcorn (why do you change your username so often?) and gordobraveheart for helping me with the rap battle for this chapter, the latter of those three for the part with Lyrical, Sphye for helping with Catnip Sprinkles and Jolly Roger for helping with...Jolly Roger's part. Oh, and thanks to Brony Leader for helping me get an idea for how to begin the part with Luna and Celestia and the rap battle. ^^

What Vinyl said was completely honest - Lyrical was the only one who straight-out won. Two others tied: Catnip Sprinkles (with 'Shy) and Jolly Roger (with Enigma). I will not bring up any more numbers in respect for the other participants. Again, thank you all for joining!

I'm not usually the type to promote other's stories straight-out, but my friend and I did a chapter together, and I wanted everypony to read it. ^^; Anyways, if you are interested, here's a link. Please let him know how the rap battle in said chapter went! ^w^ ~

Also, while I'm here, any help with the next chapter of 'No Longer an Enigma' would be greatly appreciated! ^^; ...why is the Doctor so hard to write for? :(

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #21: Results and Aftermath

A white filly dashed into the library annex, closing the door as quickly and quietly as possible. Peeking out the crack in the doorway, she saw that nopony noticed her. She sighed, glad she had decided to use that one bush that was mobile. She paused, momentarily wondering why it was like that.

“Sweetie, is that you?”

Her thoughts were thrown out the window at the sound of his voice. That wonderful voice that made her heart beat faster and her legs turn to jelly. Thankfully, thoughts of her beloved kept away any recollection of that one stallion with his jars of the edible spread. “Y-yes, it’s me, Spike!”

The young dragon stepped out from behind the doorframe, a playful smile on his face. “I’m glad you came, Swe...” He stopped right in front of her, noticing the small frown on her face. “...Sweetie, is something wrong?” He sat down on a nearby cushion, patting the soft fabric next to him. “You know can tell me anything.”

She slowly walked up to him, laying down next to him and resting her head on his chest. “...I hate this...this sneaking around...” The little filly rubbed her neck, groaning softly. “...I’m getting knots all over from stress...”

Spike thought for a few moments, his claws gently stroking her back. He looked down at her in confusion as the action brought forth a stream of pleased sighs. Solution in mind, he carefully stood up, letting her fully lay down on the comforter. “I think I can help with that.” He moved to her side, gently rubbing her back and sides.

Sweetie sighed, feeling the knots and the tension melting away under the attention of her coltfriend. She squealed as his claws danced lightly over her ticklish spots. Eventually, the tickling stopped and he resumed the massage, causing tiny moans of relief to escape her lips. Smiling, the young drake moved behind her, gently massaging along her spine.

Unbeknownst to them, a certain lavender unicorn heard one of the squeals as she was passing by. Curious, she peeked in and saw the scene in the middle of one of the young filly’s moans. She stared, her jaw agape, as her number one assistant stood behind her friend’s younger sister.

The door flew open, startling the young couple. The librarian swiftly ran inside, nervousness clear in her voice. “O-okay, Spike, time to go!” She turned to the white filly, a sheepish smile on her face. “Sorry, Sweetie, but we’ve got a lot to do.”

The drake held up a hand, trying to interject. “But Twilight, we al-”

“Bye!” Twilight ran off, leaving the younger unicorn confused and a little upset.

“...what was that all about?” She stood up, sighing in relief as she felt the lack of knots in her back. “...thank you, Spike...” She walked back to Rarity’s house, idly daydreaming of the perfect wedding, a large blush on her face. “Is it the look in your eyes, or is it this dancing juice? Who cares, baby...”

Enigma shot out from behind the obstacle, his feathered wings tensing so he could fire pellet after pellet at the opposing team. He ducked behind a different one, joining his favorite disk jockey in its shelter. “This really isn’t really that fair, huh? Fifteen of them against three of us?”

The white unicorn chuckled, nudging his side. “Maybe. They should’ve brought more ponies!” She popped up over the barricade, using her magic-operated paintball gun to peg three more ponies. “After all, we’ve got a princess on our side!” She nodded to their other teammate, who had positioned herself on the highest point of the arena.

A voice crackled over their headsets. “We agree with thy statement, Vinyl Scratch.” A paintball pegged a pony in the back of the head as he tried to sneak up on the two below. “Also, we apologize for intruding on such a...personal dream last night.”

Vinyl blushed, hiding her face from the red pegasus. “...i-it’s alright, Princess.” She glanced at the stallion, hoping he wouldn’t ask what it was about. ...thank goodness, he seems to be distracted...

...she really does love Neon...even dreaming of doing...that...with him... He sighed, trying to bring his focus back to the game.

“We meet again, servant!”

Enigma blinked, turning around to face the source of the voice - a tall blonde unicorn clad in grass-green paintball gear. He frowned, immediately recognizing him, backing up in horror. “...what do you want, Blueblood?”

He chuckled, twirling his weapon as he circled the red pegasus. “Nothing but sweet, sweet revenge.” The unicorn ripped the smaller stallion’s face, pointing his paintball gun directly between his eyes, grinning madly. “This is for kicking me in the face all those years ago!”

Enigma covered his mouth, trying hard not to laugh. “Y-you just remembered t-that?”

He growled, smacking the pegasus over the head with the weapon. “Shut up and take your just desserts like the mare you are!”

The dubstep disk jockey nearby facehoofed, sighing deeply. “...he just bucked up.”

The red stallion’s playful smile immediately shifted into a harsh glare. He tensed his legs, readying his weapon. “I.” He dashed forward, now mere inches from the unicorn’s face. “Am not.” He pointed the gun at the unicorn’s chest, rapidly pulling the trigger with his feathers, each shot most likely bruising the prince. “A MARE!” He stood over the blonde pony, growling in anger as his opponent held his hooves to his chest. “Don’t you forget it!”

The prince had nothing to say in response, as he was having difficulty breathing.

Vinyl stared, carefully taking Enigma’s gun and opening the ammo compartment. “...dude...you unloaded the entire thing into his chest...”

The red stallion rubbed his neck, embarrassed. “...sorry, I kinda got carried away...” He moved closer to Vinyl, a slightly goofy smile on his face. “Well, he kinda deserves it, considering what happened all those years ago, right?”

She frowned at him, shaking her head. “Regardless, that’s no reason to-” She stopped mid-sentence, a squeak escaping her lips as she was pulled into an embrace by the pegasus. She just stood there for a while, letting him wrap his forelegs and wings around her body, her mind spinning. “...um...E...d-did you take your medicine today?”

With that, he abruptly broke away from her, blushing brightly. “...I’ll just...go take of something...back at the apartment...see ya!” With that, he spread his wings, about to take off.

Vinyl panicked, holding a hoof out to the fleeing stallion. “E, wait!”

He stopped, turning back to the white mare, a small smile on his face. “Yes, Vi?”

She looked at him, her magenta eyes watering slightly. “...this was fun...we should do it again, sometime...”

He nodded, giving her one last, lingering hug. “I’d like that.” He turned away, spreading his wings once more, quickly taking off.

She watched him leave, a single tear rolling down her cheek. “...I love you...”

The princess of the night landed next to the upset unicorn. She looked down at the smaller mare, unsure of what to say. “...he...he’ll return your feelings, eventually...”

Vinyl sighed, looking up at the alicorn. “...I can only pray...” She pulled her phone out of her protective gear, scrolling through the pages.

The darker mare watched in confusion. “...Vinyl Scratch, what are you doing?”

The white unicorn looked up at her, an eyebrow raised. Then she realized that the princess hadn’t seen her use it like that before. “...oh, I’m just counting the votes.” She returned her attention to the small screen, a small smile beginning to show on her lips. “Well, that’s simple enough.” She put it back in her gear, smiling up at the princess. “Congrats!”

Luna stared at her, stunned. “...we...I won?”

Vinyl nodded, smiling brightly. “Yep! By a landslide, too!”

“As was expected.”

The two ponies turned to the third voice, surprised to see the other princess standing there. Vinyl readjusted her goggles, tilting her head slightly. “Pardon me, Princess Celestia, but doesn’t one do a rap battle with the intention to win?”

The white alicorn chuckled, shaking her head. “Maybe, but I knew Lulu had some lingering negative emotions.” She glanced over at her younger sister, who stared back in wide-eyed shock. “I figured I’d give her the chance to get them out of her system, so to speak. That’s why I held back and gave her easy hits.” She winked at the darker mare, who stared blankly back in response.

Vinyl could only watch as the taller white mare flew off, leaving the two of them standing by themselves. Eventually, though, the disk jockey decided it’d be best for her to head back home before it got too dark. “See you later, Princess!”

The mare of the night finally broke out of her daze, smiling brightly at the other pony. “Have a nice night, Vinyl Scratch. And please, call me Luna.”

In a nondescript house in the middle of Ponyville, a lanky colt slept peacefully in his bed. Visions of sugarplums danced in his head, which was rather odd, considering the fact that it was almost the beginning of summer.

As he snored away, a dark cloud seeped in through the crack of the window pane. Glancing around, it saw its target, quickly, quietly gliding across the room where it lay. It enveloped its prize, a toothy grin forming on its face as it left for its next destination...

Author's Note

Thanks to raybony and SuperChaosKG for helping with the ideas for this chapter! Without them, I doubt I'd have been able to continue on this story...

There were some ideas I wanted to use in this chapter, but I couldn’t think of anything for them so far. I figured that this would be good enough for now, and moved the extra stuff to the next chapter, instead.

As far as I can recall, Celestia only got three votes. Also, if you’re confused by the dialogue between Enigma and Blueblood, you might want to read my other story, ‘No Longer an Enigma’.

On a separate note, I finally got my picture of Vinyl and Fluttershy from the artist at AnimeFest! I'm so happy!

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #22

Featherweight and Apple Bloom were in the Apple family’s barn, cuddling together on a pile of hay. The filly sighed, nuzzling closer to the tan colt. “...Ah’m so lucky...”

He chuckled, playfully rolling his eyes. “We get interrupted every time we try to kiss. Aside from that, I’m inclined to agree with you.” He ran a hoof through her strawberry-red mane, lost in his thoughts. “...Bloom?”

She looked up at him, a small smile on her face. “Yes, Featherweight?”

He glanced away, uncertainty etched in his face. “...why do you like me?”

Apple Bloom stared at him in shock. “What kinda question is that?” She hugged him closely, her eyes looking deep into his. “...Ah love ya, Featherweight. Ah have since the, uh...” She blushed, averting her gaze. “...the Gabby Gums incident...”

He blinked, completely surprised at this. “...what? But...we never even talked...”

She gave a small, sheepish grin. “...Ah know that...but...ya were so helpful...” She gave him a playful thump on the chest, her grin changing to a smirk. “...even though ya did take that embarrassin’ photo a’ me.”

He chuckled, pressing his snout to hers. “And I apologize, but I was asked to d-”

The sentence was cut short by a pair of soft lips. Featherweight’s eyes bugged out in surprise, not expecting the kiss in the least. He wasn’t arguing, however, and, slowly, he melted into the kiss. They lay there for a while longer, content to be in each other’s embrace.

Vinyl strolled down the street, her saddlebags on her back for the groceries she was planning to buy. She looked at her list, frowning in concentration. ...why can’t it be backlit like my phone? “Okay, so the first thing I need to get is some...linguine.” She facehoofed, sighing softly. “...darn it, Tavi, why do you always go for the expensive food? It’s all the same, in the end...”

“Liar!”

The white mare blinked, looking at the group of colts and fillies nearby. They were clearly in a heated argument, if their glares had anything to say about it. She walked closer, wondering just what they were fighting over.

The magenta unicorn filly glared at the orange colt across from her. “I don’t care what you say, I didn’t take your silly pyramid puzzle! Especially when I have this.” She held up a golden ring, markings all around the outermost edge.

“Then why is it missing?” The shorter, chubby gray colt stood right in front of the unicorn filly, a frown on his face. “And why was there a strand of dark pink hair, just like yours, Ruby?”

“Maybe it’th your mom’th hair!” The lone earth pony among them stepped forward, pushing her purple-framed glasses back up her nose. “Ruby ith innothent!”

While the younger ponies bickered, Vinyl slowly retreated, glancing nervously between the two parties. ...if I’m careful, they won’t see-

“Miss Scratch!”

The white mare sighed, hanging her head. “...of course...” She turned around facing the orange unicorn. “...what can I help you with, Snails?”

The tall colt grinned up at her. “I’m glad you’re here.” He gestured to the rest of the group. “We know they’re lying, but they refuse to admit it.”

“We aren’t lying!”

“So,” the gangly unicorn grinned, ignoring the outburst, “I thought we could settle this with a rap battle!”

Vinyl opened her mouth, but anything she said was drowned out by the clamor caused by the young ponies, all of them wanting the rap battle. She sighed once more, rubbing the side of her head. “...fine...meet me in town square in one hour...”

Vinyl raced about the stage, grumbling to herself. “...darn it, E...why aren’t you here!?” She quickly equipped the fillies and colts with their headsets, glad they had eight of them. Not like we’ll ever need that many...

The white unicorn finally moved behind her turntables once more, a large grin on her face. “Everypony ready?” She was greeted with an enthusiastic roar from the audience. With that, she began the music.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP

AND

VS.

AND

BEGIN!

Hey. Yeah, Snips? You know what I’m thinking, Snails?
Is it that these freaky fillies are both doomed to fail?
Yeah! How’s about we speed up their process a bit?
We’ll take back what’s ours with our razor-sharp wit!
You’ll be in a Pinch when we give you a Twist
You say we have problems, but you’re both high on the list
We got in the news and walked in the Everfree
While you’re doing what? Reading manga and eating candy!

You’re foals, Snips and Snails - we’re better off than you.
You’ll run away with your tailth between your legth when we’re through.
Snips, you’re more than just pudgy; we don’t have wonder why
Clearly, it’s because he stuffs his face with pastry and pie!
Why would you think we’d have your thilly trinket in the firtht place?
Take your time answering, Snails; it’s a rap battle, not a race
Your rhymeth are like old cookieth: awful and thtale
You’re stupid little colts, sans the puppy dog tails!

Now hold up a moment - I just want to be completely sure;
You both play with dolls, but call us immature?
Go, Snails! I don’t mean to be rude, but I’ll be frank
Ruby’s a sad otaku and Twist loves her dumb pranks
Yeah, you two fillies should really get out some more
Your lazy fat plots need to work outside your store
You may be Ruby, but we’re diamonds, you foals!
Stop fakin’ being nice; we all know you’re gettin’ coal!

You know, my mother always said you were up to no good
Why else break into her cellar? You terrorize the neighborhood
It’s time to pay, colts; we’re takin’ you to the bank
You’re both below us, and now we’re pulling rank
You dumb colth, go ahead and think what you will
At least we weren’t enslaved, nor nearly killed!
If we’re getting coal, you’re in the mine with the other elveth
Did you enjoy our rhymes? We made them ourthelveth!

WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Author's Note

And thus begins the next arc of the story! :pinkiehappy: Thanks to RLYoshi for helping me with this rap battle! Seriously, I wouldn’t have known where to begin with this one. :twilightblush: Also, thanks to raybony for the idea for the slice of life moment in this chapter. Sorry for it being rather short...

Oh, and I have the next chapter of ‘No Longer an Enigma’ ready, but I’m waiting on something important from someone before I can post it. :scootangel:

...just out of curiosity, is having a TVTropes page for a fanfiction really that big a deal? :unsuresweetie:

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #22: Results and Aftermath

Two red stallions and one spotted colt sat in a field, watching the aerial show above them, performed by a multicolored mare and an orange filly. The orange filly wasn't really flying, though. It was more like a trapeze act for her, where her idol kept her from losing control as she attempted to learn to fly.

Oddly enough, one of the stallions was talking to the other, nearing the end of a long explanation as he nervously fiddled with his wings. “...so that’s my problem...” Enigma sighed, looking up at the red stallion next to him. “What do you think I should do?”

The earth pony sat there in silence for a few minutes, staring up at his girlfriend flying in the skies above. For a moment, the smaller stallion contemplated asking the question again, but then the farmer finally spoke. “Ah think ya need ta talk to her.”

The pegasus’s heart leaped to his throat, his eyes wide in surprise. He didn't expect that answer, nor was he certain he could go through with it. “...a-are you sure?”

The red stallion glanced down at his darker friend briefly, almost immediately returning his gaze to the prismatic pony above them. His neutral expression momentarily shifted to a small smile, so brief that Enigma was certain it was a figment of his imagination. “Eeyup.”

Said multicolored mare landed in front of them, smiling beatifically. "What are ya talking about? Is it that Summer Sun Festival in a few weeks?"

The larger stallion shook his head, his expression never changing. "Nnope."

Enigma felt nervous when the mare's gaze moved to him, uncomfortable with the idea of sharing what he said a second time. “Well,” he sheepishly smiled, slowly backing away from the group, “I think that’s enough excitement for me. I’ve got somewhere to be. See ya!” He turned and, after quickly readjusting his saddlebag, flew off, his mind filled with what Big Macintosh had told him.

Vinyl sat down on a park bench, watching the two pairs of friends glare at each other under the shade of a tree. She sighed, taking another bite of her grilled cheese sandwich. “...so...you all want to know who won?”

Without even glancing at her, the four school-age ponies nodded. With a shake of her head, the white unicorn pulled out her phone and began to tally the votes. After reading every single one of the comments, she looked up, her face completely neutral. “The winner is Luna.”

Four pairs of eyes stared at her, wide in shock. Eventually, the magenta filly spoke up, slightly worried. “...are you serious?”

Vinyl put a hoof to her mouth, looking as though she was contemplating the proper answer for that. Eventually, after thirty seconds had passed, she used the hoof to lower her shades, revealing a twinkle of amusement in her eyes and a small smile on her face. “Bazinga.” She giggled as four hooves met four faces, waving a hoof dismissively. “No, Twist and Ruby won.”

The fillies cheered, smiling cheekily at the two colts across from them. “Now will you stop being hard-headed and listen, for once? We didn’t take your silly pyramid puzzle!”

Snails groaned, shaking his head and throwing his hooves in the air in exasperation. “It’s called the Millennium Puzzle!”

The four young ponies walked away, still debating over whether the fillies did or did not take the toy. The disc jockey watched them leave, shaking her head. “That’s kinda sad, dudes.” She turned, deciding that she could probably get a bit more sleep if she went home immediately.

Vinyl stopped in mid-step, feeling a hoof tap her on the shoulder. She looked over her shoulder, seeing her favorite dark red pegasus standing there, staring back at her with a worried expression.

“...Vi, can we...talk?”

In an undisclosed cottage, a yellow mare walked into her bedroom, cautiously closing and locking the door behind her. Satisfied that nopony was watching her, she moved to her closet, pulling a medium-sized box out from the back.

She removed the lid, gazing down at the mass of green and yellow inside. With a soft smile, she pulled the wig out, placing it on her head. With a wistful sigh, she looked into a mirror, staring into the reflection’s teal eyes. “...I wish I hadn’t lost my contacts last year...”

Remorsefully, she put the wig back in the box, stowing it in the back of her closet. She opened the door and left, silently speaking to herself. “...I need to hurry...I have to take Winona on a walk for Applejack...”

An orange pony was riding on a train, taking the time to catch up on his much-needed sleep. A western town took a lot of work to keep safe, after all. He’d been up the past few nights, trying to catch some ne’er-do-wells that were terrorizing the town.

It was rather ironic, really. If he hadn’t been vigilant for the last three days, he wouldn’t have been caught with his hat off, so to speak. As it was, there was a black smoke creeping in the crack of his cabin’s door, a grin on its ethereal face...

Author's Note

Ruby Pinch and Twist won, 35 to 31. It really was a close one. :scootangel: I apologize for this chapter being so short... :ajsleepy:

Thanks to raybony for giving me the ideas for the section with Enigma and the other ponies. :twilightsmile: Sorry I couldn’t fully expand on that section... :twilightblush:

...I'm starting to worry that I'm losing interest in this story... :fluttershysad: ...I sincerely hope that's not the case...anyways, if you'll excuse me, I'll be watching 'Chobits'. :derpytongue2:

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

EDIT: misspelled 'millennium'. :twilightblush:

Rap Battle #24

A lone dragon waited outside the Ponyville School House, a picnic basket in his claws. He planned on taking a certain white unicorn out on a date in the park. He thought back to his conversation with Twilight. He was glad she was so understanding, despite the initial misunderstanding.

His ear-fin perked up, hearing the sound of approaching hooves. That, in itself, didn’t intrigue him, but the fact that said hooves were rather angry did. “...how the heck do hooves sound angry, anyways?”

A familiar striped face appeared, looking down at him. “Oh, if it isn’t Spike, you dear! Tell me, is Cheerilee around here?”

He nodded, pointing his opposable claw behind him. “She’s inside, Zecora, teaching a class.” The zebra nodded kindly, heading inside.

Spike sighed, looking up at the clouds and daydreaming about flying. He was brought out of his little imagine spot by a hoof on his shoulder. Turning to the owner, he found himself face-to-face with the very filly he was waiting for. “Sweetie!” He hugged her close, planting a quick, chaste kiss on her lips. “What’s going on? I could’ve sworn you had a couple more hours before you got out!”

Sweetie shook her head, smiling brightly. “Nope! Miss Cheerilee let us out early!” She brought a hoof to her chin, recalling what happened.

“And that’s how Princess Luna prevented a war between Equestria and the Great Griffon Lands!”

Cheerilee put her pointer down, beaming at her class. “And that’s it for current events. Now, let’s get started with Arts and Cr-”

“Miss Cheerilee, if you’ll pardon me.” Zecora stepped into the classroom, a frown on her face.

The magenta mare nodded, never losing her smile. “Hello! I didn’t expect you to be here, today. I don’t have any lesson plans you can help with.”

The zebra shook her head, her frown deepening. “Cheerilee, if you please, I have a problem to appease.” She moved forward, eyes narrowed in annoyance. “You invaded my home, took the chest. I want it back by a contest.”

The school teacher finally lost her smile, confusion quickly taking its place on her face. “...beg pardon?”

Zecora smiled slightly, eyes narrowing a bit more. “A challenge of rhymes, Miss Cheerilee. If I win, you return my property.”

The magenta mare scowled, finally understanding what was being said. “How dare you accuse me of stealing! I won’t take this, and I certainly won’t have a...a...”

An orange filly raised her hoof, calling out to them. “A rap battle?”

“Yes!” Cheerilee nodded, glaring at the zebra. “I will not participate in a rap battle!”

“Oh, teacher, you have too much pride! Why not let your class decide?” Zecora turned to the fillies and colts, smiling kindly. “It’s up to you, young ones of this class. Who wants to see me beat her-”

“Zecora!” The teacher stared at her, eyes wide in horror. “Don’t you dare say that in front of them!”

The shaman blinked, looking at the magenta mare. “...flank of glass.”

The class cheered loudly, even Diamond Tiara and Featherweight.

Cheerilee groaned, rubbing her head with a hoof. “...fine, I’ll participate in a rap battle...” She walked out the door, grumbling to herself about how she didn’t have the item Zecora was talking about.

That evening, Fluttershy found herself behind the turntables once more, a genuinely concerned look on her face. She watched as her dark red friend helped the two rappers put their headsets on.

He eventually joined the timid mare, sitting next to her. He gave her a reassuring nudge, smiling softly. “Don’t worry, ‘Shy, I’m sure everything will turn out alright.”

The butter-yellow pegasus groaned, holding her head in her hooves. “...a-are you sure Vinyl can’t do this?”

Enigma nodded, frowning slightly. “You saw the flower on her bedroom door. You know what that means.” He glanced at the teacher, tilting his head in curiosity and mumbling to himself. “...still, it’s rather odd...”

Fluttershy, somehow, didn’t hear him. She started the music, beginning the battle with less enthusiasm than normal.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP

VS.

BEGIN!

Attention, everypony! Class is in session!
Watch as I teach this crazy zebra a lesson!
She’s supposed to be a diplomat from the zebra lands,
But she hides in her little hut instead of making friends.
You’re a black magic pony, and you can’t sing a note.
I’d brag about myself, but I’ve been taught not to gloat.
Tell me, what happens when you can’t rhyme a word?
Think about it; your name can’t rhyme! How absurd!

You call yourself a teacher, but there’s little you know.
You thought the deadly Cutie Pox was just an amusing show.
I may not be a witch, but I’m not afraid to mix
Up a brew or maybe two to see through your tricks.
You use pictures to teach - what, can’t you spell?
Just leave, and suck your blood somewhere else.
You’re a mosquito - a pest that nopony wants around.
Go on with your preaching while I dance to a better sound!

Heads up - we’re starting the advanced courses, now.
Too bad knowledge can’t keep you from being ugly, sow.
Take your glowing dust and make yourself a coltfriend -
It’s the closest you’ll be getting to a date, in the end.
I like to help my little ponies bloom and smile in cheer.
When they see you, they hide and tremble in fear.
You’re a bane of all that’s pure, and an angry witch, too -
You can change just one letter, and it would still be true!

You fell for a trap that three little fillies set.
How would you like to meet my Manticore pet?
All of your futile raps make me want to choke.
You’re terrible at rhymes; you’re just a Poison Joke.
I cure many an illness and bring back teeth.
Have some advice; I’ll be sure to keep it brief.
To impress your “snuggie-wuggie”, you’ll need more than perfume.
When you chose to face me, teach, you sealed your doom.

WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Enigma walked off the stage, confused. “...what use would an earth pony have for the Alicorn Amulet? It just makes no sense...”

In the Ancient Castle of the Royal Sisters, two beings looked down at a scrying ball, watching the pegasus as he walked off into the night.

The taller of the two frowned, her teal, reptilian eyes narrowing in disgust. “That mare makes a valid point.” She glanced over at the shorter pony, glaring slightly. “Why give me that hair if the one it belongs to lacks motivation?”

The black unicorn chortled, never taking his red eyes off the crystal. “It’s really quite simple, Moon.” A smirk tugged at the edge of his mouth, revealing the fang inside. He spun a rock around with a hoof, finally looking over at his companion. “We just needed to see who would catch on to it...” He brought his hoof down onto the stone, sneering. “...and remove them from the equation.” The rock shattered under his hoof.

Another joined them, scowling in anger. “I have tried everything I could think of, but that chest just won’t open!” She glanced at the ball, seeing the red stallion. She brought a hoof up to her chin, a devious smile crossing her face. “...maybe we need somepony...pure of heart...”

The trio smiled at each other, nodding their agreement. The pony in the scrying crystal, of course, remained completely unaware.

Enigma paused momentarily, sneezing twice. He rubbed his nose with a hoof, frowning with worry. “...someone’s talking about me...and two...that means it’s bad...” His ear twitched, and he glared up at the sky, annoyed.

“I AM NOT A MARE!”

The evil triumvirate stared at the scene in the crystal ball, rightly confused. The dark alicorn rubbed her head with a hoof, concerned. “...he couldn’t have heard me...could he?”

The tallest of them put a hole-riddled hoof to her chin, confused. “...I swear, that pony looks familiar...”

Author's Note

Big thanks to RLYoshi for helping me with this rap battle! This was written before I (and, presumably, my friend) watched the ‘Iron Will vs. Zecora’ EPRBoE thingy, so any similar lines is/are just coincidence(s). Also, a big hand to the Republican Brony for helping me with the intro for this chapter! :twilightsmile:

Random parts at the end just for the lulz. :derpytongue2: And a somewhat-explanation for the reason there's been so much Enigma-and-Vinyl stuff.

Oh, and I finished my commentary video! :pinkiehappy: It's still uploading to YouTube, but I think it should be done by this evening. :yay:

I need a tie-breaker for the latest chapter of 'No Longer an Enigma'... :twilightblush: ...I can't decide between the paths, myself...

Anyways, have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #24: Results and Aftermath

Vinyl sat in her room, forlornly gazing at her white rose. One of the petals fell, falling upon the satin covers of her bed. Reluctantly, she put the flower back into a vase on her bedstand. “...oh, E...”

There was a knock on her bedroom door. “Is anypony there?” The voice was familiar, a refined, if somewhat forced, accent.

Panicking slightly, she placed a glass dome over the rose and draped a sheet on top of that. Clearing her throat, she called out to her visitor. “C-come in, Rarity.”

The door opened, revealing the fashionable white unicorn. “Hello darling!” Rarity smiled, “How are you doing today?”

Vinyl sighed, running a hoof through her mane. “...oh, just...the usual...”

Rarity furrowed her brow. “Unless the usual is depressed, then I would think that something is wrong.”

The disk jockey waved a hoof, avoiding her friend’s gaze. “...it’s nothing...really...” She looked up, worry clear in her eyes. “...did...did E see you?”

“No darling, why?” Rarity soon let the idea process as a goofy grin was planted on her face. “Is there something about your love life that you aren’t telling me, Vinyl?”

The mare shifted nervously on her bed, her cheeks flushing with color. “...I-I don’t know what you’re talking about...” She coughed, hoping to change the subject. “...you brought my purchase, right?”

Rarity rolled her eyes and brought out a neat little parcel, tied with a perfectly symmetrical bow. “Right here!” The purple-maned mare used her magic to levitate the package over to Vinyl.

The disk jockey brought it to her chest, holding it close and smiling softly. “...one step closer...”

The usually snoopy Rarity decided not to question the gift, instead sticking her nose in the EnigmaxVinyl case. “Now, answer my question, is there something about your love life that you aren’t telling me?”

Vinyl looked away, her gaze settling on the covered rose. “...I...I love somepony...but...” She groaned, holding her head in her hooves. “...everytime I try to tell him...he...something keeps me from telling the truth...” Her body was trembling, her face still hidden in her hooves.

Rarity looked sadly at Vinyl. “Darling,” she sat down and hugged the DJ. “You need to keep your head held high. You need to go right up to him and tell him. Let nothing stop you, let every doubt disappear, be strong. I will be by your side the whole time when you decide you want to tell him, but you need to tell him soon if you ever want to know. He may just think you're his friend and move on.”

The musical mare finally looked up, her eyes shining with hope despite the tears staining her cheeks. Rarity held out her hoof. “C’mon. Let’s go right now.”

Vinyl blushed, glancing down at the parcel next to her. “...I’ll tell him...tomorrow.” She held up a hoof, making an x over her heart. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” She smiled softly, wiping the tears off her face.

Rarity gave a warm smile. “Remember, you promised, so that means you need to tell him.”

“OR YOU WON’T KNOW!”

The unicorns jumped as they heard Pinkie. “PINK-IE!” Rarity growled.

The mares began to bicker - playfully, mind you - as the disk jockey watched. Vinyl chuckled, shaking her head at her hyper friend’s antics. She looked over at the rose, her mind drifting. ...I hope you feel the same...

It was almost lunchtime at the schoolhouse, and the lesson was being wrapped up rather nicely. “And that’s the Legend of the Seven Artifacts. Now, class, we are going to-” Cheerilee was soon interrupted by a late student coming in. “Archer, why are you-”

“FLUTTERSHY HAS THE RESULTS FOR THE RAP BATTLE!!!”

The school teacher watched as her students stampeded out of the classroom. “...late.” The mare chuckled, shaking her head as she trotted after her students.

It was a normal day for the shy pegasus. She spent her morning at Sugarcube Corner. It was quite peaceful until one of the schoolfillies came up to her and asked if the results were up. Fluttershy began to nod and was about to tell her when she ran out. At least there won’t be any more interruptions...

“STAMPEDE!” screamed Pinkie as she ran through the doors of the sweets shop. “STAMPEDE OF SCHOOL PONIES!!!”

She was right - a whole classroom’s worth of fillies and colts were running down Stirrup Street, and they were all headed for Fluttershy. The timid mare’s eyes widened in fear. “Ohmygoodnessohmygoodness!”

She tried to hide underneath the table, but they were already inside, clamoring around her and barraging her with words.

“Who won?”

“I bet it was Miss Cheerilee!”

“No you dumb colt! Zecora obviously won!”

“Cheerilee!”

“Zecora!”

“Sweet Celestia, I lost my tiara!”

“QUIET!!!!” They all turned to the doorway. Framed in the opening was Apple Bloom, the rhyming zebra by her side. “Sorry for wakin’ ya, Zecora, but Fluttershy has the results from th’ rap battle!”

“Don’t worry Apple Bloom, it was a minor hiccup. Now, what was that about the results being up?” Everypony turned their attention to the butter-yellow pegasus, causing her to shrink a little.

“...um...” Fluttershy tapped a few buttons on her device, counting the votes. Soon enough, she looked up, sheepishly smiling. “...Zecora won...”

A few of the students cheered while others groaned. One of the fillies reluctantly handed a few bits to a beaming colt.

The zebra smiled, nodding to show her recognition. “Good. Now, where is the one who teaches the ponies in childhood?”

“Right here,” grumbled the teacher. “I didn’t take anything from you. I’ve never even been to your hut!”

Zecora narrowed her eyes. “You can say that, but are you aware that I found, in its place, one of your hairs? And I saw you walking away from my hut, so you obviously think I’m a nut!”

Cheerilee sighed, holding a hoof to her head. “When do you think this took place?” She glared at her former-opponent, completely ignoring the dark red pegasus that was approaching them.

The shaman quirked an eyebrow, frowning deeply. “When did this heinous crime go down? Around ten, when I was in town.”

“Then it couldn’t have been me!” The earth pony looked directly into the zebra’s eyes. “I was teaching my little ponies at the time!”

Now, the stallion hadn’t heard all of their argument, but he could read the teacher’s body language. ...unwavering eye contact... He glanced at her hooves, then her ears. ...no fidgeting...no ear twitch... Finally, he examined her posture. ...defensive stance...no doubt about it. “She’s telling the truth.”

Zecora and Cheerilee stared at him, eyes wide in a mix of shock and confusion. The former broke the silence, cynicism clear in her voice. “I hate to be the voice of doubt, but why should we believe your clout?”

He stared at her, frowning deeply. “What use would Cheerilee, an earth pony, have for the Alicorn Amulet?”

The zebra opened her mouth to answer, but stopped, thinking about that. After a few moments, she sighed, turning to the dark purple mare. “Please forgive me, Miss Cheerilee. It seems as though I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

The teacher waved a hoof dismissively. “It’s no problem, Zecora. I’m sorry for saying such hurtful things the other day.”

Enigma nodded, smiling at them both. “Glad you two made up. Now, I need to go.” He left, his smile slowly turning into a worried frown. “I fear that there’s something amiss, here...”

On the outskirts of Ponyville, there exists a farm. The Apple family resided here, harvesting their namesake to maintain their livelihood. A certain canine also lived there, content to keep watch over the youngest of the ponies.

One might argue that she should have kept closer watch on her hiding place. If she had, then she wouldn’t have lost an heirloom. Especially not one that was as powerful as what had been taken.

Author's Note

So yeah, Zecora won by a landslide, 59 to 11. Thanks to runforever101 for helping me with the section involving the results and the beginning of this chapter. :twilightsmile:

Hey! Who said I helped with just that? :)

Well, you helped with a lot. Most of this chapter, to be fair, but I put up acknowledgements as they come. :scootangel: Anyways, I’m not entirely sure when the next chapter will be out, but I hope you all enjoy this in the meantime.

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #25

It was another day in the town square, and everything seemed to be fine. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and a white unicorn was nervously trotting down the street. Her magenta eyes quickly scanned the street, looking for any sign of a certain dark red stallion.

Her search was interrupted by the sound of barking. She glanced to her left to see a white cat stranded up a tree by a brown dog. With a sigh, the disk jockey toggled a switch on her earpiece and approached the two animals.

The dog growled up at the feline, her eyes narrowed in anger. “Give me back the Bracelet, Opal! Ya know it’s no good fer ya, anyways!”

The cat stuck her nose up in the air, obviously haughty. “Oh, please. I wouldn’t set paw on that dust bowl you call a farm, much less take something from there.”

Vinyl quirked an eyebrow, looking down at the female dog. “...what’s going on here, Winona? What bracelet?”

She looked up at her, her eyes wide and worried. “The Geass Bracelet! It’s been passed down to th’ oldest female in mah fam’ly for years!” She glared at the pampered cat, hackles raised in ire. “Opal took it, Ah could smell her scent ‘round where it was!”

Said feline gave a dainty laugh. “You can’t possibly be serious. Vinyl, be a dear and tell this mutt I didn’t do it.” She smirked, looking down her nose at the farmdog. “She’s too hard-headed to listen to a sophisticated pet.”

“That’s it!” Winona leaped up, putting her forepaws on the disk jockey’s chest, barely missing the dress. “Ya gotta do a rap battle fer us! Ya jus’ gotta!”

Vinyl sat in silence, wondering if this was the best course of action.

Vinyl watched as Enigma adjusted the headsets on the heads of the pets in front of her turntable. She fidgeted, worrying that she was making a foolish decision. You can do this, Vi. She adjusted the neckline of her dress. I wish this wasn’t so confining. And why did Rarity have to make it so my shades wouldn’t match?!

“...wow...”

Her heart leapt to her throat, recognizing the voice. She slowly turned to see her favorite pony, his maroon eyes wide in shock. She blushed and glanced away, desperately wishing she had her shades.

Enigma took in the sight of her in the dress, noticing how the electric blue satin made the curves of her body more pronounced. The blue trim took nothing away from the overall look, and actually drew his attention to her heart-shaped -

He quickly averted his eyes, awkwardly sitting himself down next to Vinyl. He glanced over at her and, seeing that she was nervous, draped a wing over her shoulders. When she looked at him, he gave her a reassuring smile. “You can do this, Vi. I know you can.”

She smiled back and nodded, turning to her equipment. She quickly started the music, a single thought going through her mind before she lost herself in it: ...he does that with his wing quite often...I wonder why...

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

Look at this sissy prissy little pussy.
Ah’m a REAL pet, don’t you see?
Ah don’t get pissed when my owner gives me affection.
You’re a douche who only likes special attention.
I’m useful to my family, Ah herd cows and sheep.
You just sit and look out the window like a creep.
When anyone suggests something fun it just gives ya hives.
I bet ya wouldn’t live once, with any of yer nine lives.

This coming from someone who’s annoying as a fife
And living on a farm is in no way a proper life.
I have pristineness, posh pillows, and changes of collars
While you run around using words like ‘holler’.
You are dirty, filthy scum of the earth, you bitch.
When you try and act proper, you give me a stitch
From how hard I was laughing, it was entertaining.
All you know about clothes is the art of mud staining.

Yeah, I suppose the correct term is bitch
And “Pristineness”? Here’s a new pitch:
“I am a fucking princess wannabe
Who thinks herself above even Rarity.”
Now now, sister. Let’s not go too far.
I’ve left prettier coils in my front yard.
You brought out the worst in me, I didn't wanna own ya
But that's what happens when you fuck with Winona.

We all know the mutts with which you fornicated.
If I had a stroke, I’d rather die than be resuscitated
By your filthy, disgusting, trough eating mouth.
The only things nastier are your lips further south.
I take my time to make myself prim and proper.
I walk into a theater and become a show stopper.
When I walk on by, I turn feline heads.
Honestly? You’re better off in Fluttershy’s shed.

WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

The disk jockey gently grabbed her friend’s wing, blushing slightly. “Hey, E?”

He stopped, deciding that taking the headsets off the pets could wait a little longer. “Yeah, Vi?” He smiled softly, though he couldn’t help but let his eyes momentarily gravitate towards the electric blue dress she was wearing.

Vinyl blushed even more, straightening her dress as she mustered up the courage to speak. You can do this. It’s now or never! “E, ever since we met, you’ve tried your best to help me out, to help me recover from my...a-addiction...” She fidgeted, glancing away briefly. “...I took you for granted, yet you stayed by my side...I have to ask...d-do you l-love me?”

The red pegasus was taken aback, glad that his fur concealed his blush. “...I...I...” He gulped, rubbing the back of his neck. “...I do...I did when I first met you...” He sheepishly grinned, chuckling softly. “I suppose I’ve always loved you...and I don’t mind if you don’t feel the same...I’m just-”

“E.” The disk jockey quickly wrapped her forelegs around his head, smiling playfully but trying to act before her courage left her. “Shut up and kiss me.” She pulled him into a long, passionate kiss. It felt like it lasted a lifetime, but in reality it only lasted a couple minutes. Eventually, she had to pull away, panting softly.

The stallion blushed so deeply, his face actually became darker. He opened his lips, stammering out a few words. “...w-wow...s-so you...?”

She nodded, her face completely red. “...for a few years, now...” She looked down, shuffling her hooves awkwardly. “...ever since you...well...you know...” Vinyl turned to her turntables, carefully pulling a white rose out of the back panel.

Enigma stared, completely stunned. “...you...you kept that...all these years?” He scratched his head, a thought occurring to him. “...but...you said you were dating Neon Lights...”

Vinyl nodded once more, feeling as though her throat went dry. “...I did, but...I lied...” She averted her gaze, shame washing over her. “...I didn’t know what to do...I panicked and it just...came out...” She sniffled, trying her best to keep from crying. “...E...Neon’s not into mares...”

He opened his mouth to respond, but the true meaning of what she said struck him. The red pegasus frowned, seeing the love of his life about to break into tears. He carefully embraced her, wrapping his forelegs around her comfortingly. “...it’s fine, Vi...” He carefully wiped a tear from her eye with a wing. “...it’s all in the past...” He tilted her head up and softly kissed her.

She positively melted into the kiss, oblivious to the congratulatory cheers of the crowd. She pulled back, smiling softly at him. “...so...am I still just your ‘best friend’?”

He chuckled, gently pressing his forehead to hers. “...that and more...” He nuzzled her cheek, taking in the softness of her fur. “...and I wouldn’t have it any other way...”

The black alicorn rolled her eyes, turning away from the scrying crystal. “Oh, gag me with a spoon. There’s such a thing as too much cutesy!” She glanced over at the charcoal figure, noticing the devious smile on her face. “...what are you so happy about?”

The being shook her head, rubbing a hoof against the dark crystal ball. “...I think there’s now a way to...take care of our problem...” She chuckled darkly, her emerald green eyes focusing on the figure inside the ball.

Author's Note

Thanks to Antisocial Ind. for writing the rap battle! :twilightsmile: I honestly wouldn’t have been able to write anything for this one... :twilightblush:

Yes, Vinyl and Enigma finally get together! :pinkiehappy: I bet there’s quite a few of you who are happy about that, if only so the ship teasing would end. :derpytongue2:

...what? Yesterday, Vi said 'tomorrow', and I'm not gonna make her break a Pinkie Promise! :scootangel:

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #25: Results and Aftermath

Enigma sat between the two pets, glancing from one to the other. He fiddled with the translator in his ear, wondering if it had a volume control. ...these two are so loud...

“Like I said, Winona,” the feline said, turning her nose up at her opponent, “I did not touch your silly little bracelet.”

“Liar!” The canine growled, narrowing her eyes at the pompous pet. “Ah know ya took the Geass Bracelet! All I want is to have it back!”

The red pegasus quirked an eyebrow, looking at the brown-and-white dog. “...‘Gee-Yes Bracelet’? What’s that?”

Winona looked at him, a frown somehow forming on her muzzle. “The Geass Bracelet is an ancient, powerful artifact. It allows the user to manipulate the minds of others while looking into their eyes, among other things. There’s always a unique set of rules for each user, though, and, if it’s used too much, one could lose oneself to the power.” She tilted her head, curious. “Does that answer your question?”

He blinked, staring down at the working dog. “...for some reason, that sounds very familiar...” He glanced up, seeing a familiar white unicorn trotting up to them. He beamed, waving a hoof at her. “Hey, Vi!”

“‘Sup, E?” She kissed him on the cheek, blushing brightly. “So, are they ready to hear the results?” She pulled out her phone, starting to count the votes.

“Not necessary.” Three heads turned towards the white feline in confusion. The posh pet stood up, sauntering over to the dirt-covered one. She scowled, furrowing her brow. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but...sniff me.”

The playful pooch tilted her head once more, clearly confused. “Beg pardon?”

“I guarantee that you will see I’m in the right when you sniff me.” Opal closed her eyes, bracing herself. To her credit, she kept as still as possible as the canine sniffed all over her. “So, what did you smell?”

“Just yer usual scent.” Winona narrowed her eyes, frowning slightly. “What are you getting at?”

The fancy feline smirked, shaking her head. “If I were to have taken your silly bracelet, don’t you think you’d smell it on me?”

Winona recoiled as if she’d stumbled across a snake. “...I...I guess you’re right.” She whined, holding out a paw to the other pet. “Sorry fer accusin’ you like that.”

Opal distastefully stared at the muddy paw. “Apology accepted. Next time, though, be sure you have all the facts before you make wild accusations.” She turned and sauntered off, nose high in the air.

The working canine turned to the couple nearby, oblivious to their dumbstruck expressions. “Thank ya fer what ya did. Bye!” She bounded away, tail wagging happily.

Vinyl blinked, coming out of her shock. She turned to the red pegasus, frowning in disappointment. “...so...neither of them wanted to hear Winona won?”

He smiled calmly at her, draping his wing over her shoulders. “It would only cause a worse rivalry between them.” He started to kiss along her neck, eliciting a tiny whimper from her lips. He stopped, slightly worried. “...too much?”

She immediately wrapped her forelegs around his neck, pulling him into a deep, passionate kiss. After a few seconds, she broke it off, gasping slightly, looking at him with lidded eyes. “...not enough...”

He glanced around, feeling a little anxious. “...y-you...you want our...h-here?”

The disk jockey shook her head, a coy smile on her face. “Not until our fifth date, E. This will be our third date, though.~” She put a hoof on his mouth, stopping the words before they began. “Yes, I’m counting the one before the Royal Wedding.” She turned, walking back to their home with a noticeable sway in her step, flicking her tail playfully at his nose.

Enigma gulped silently, hurrying to walk alongside his love. Despite the awkwardness of the situation, he couldn’t help but smile as they both walked towards the rising sun.

The stallion turned to her, squinting slightly from the sunlight. “Do you have a spare set of shades?”

The new-found couple sat next to each other, the bed sheets loosely draped over their hindlegs. They avoided each other’s gaze, trying to find some way to break the awkward silence between them.

The red stallion spoke first, glancing briefly at the white mare. “...s-so...” He coughed, giving himself a moment to think of what he was going to say. “...that was an...interesting suggestion you made...”

She blushed brightly, idly fiddling with the covers. “...y-yeah...” There was a few more seconds void of speech. “...s-sorry, E...”

He rubbed the back of his neck, blushing fiercely. “...well, I suppose we all have our...um, kinks...” He sighed, finally turning to look at the unicorn that held such a special place in his heart. “...well, it’s not the most extreme one I’ve ever heard of...” She groaned, raising her hooves to her face. He frowned, gently wrapping a wing around her. “...what I’m trying to say is...I’m willing to give it a try...”

Vinyl looked up, her eyes wide in surprise. “R-really?” She smiled brightly at him, her legs trembling in excitement.

He nodded, pulling her close, gently kissing her. “Of course, Vi. Though I am curious about why you’re interested in it.”

She rubbed the back of her head, sheepishly grinning. “...well...Dash was saying how great it was...”

He held up a hoof, a playful smile on his lips. “Say no more.” He pulled her into a kiss once more, carefully lowering her onto her back. He looked down at her, smiling softly.

She returned the gaze, eyes shining with love. “B-be gentle, please. You already took one cherry...”

On the other side of town, a gray mare flit about her home, nervously biting her lip. “...oh, where is it?” She flipped a table over, completely ignoring how it landed perfectly a few yards away as she was searching the space that was underneath it. After a few more moments of frantic searching, she sat down on the couch and groaned in agony, holding her head in her hooves.

The door opened, revealing a similarly-colored pegasus. She trotted forward, brightly smiling until she took in the state of the room. She glanced at the perfectly-placed furniture, the spotless floors and even the clothes that were neatly folded off to the side.

She looked at her twin, frowning in sympathy. “You lost something, didn’t you, Ditzy?”

The upset mare groaned, looking up at her sister as best she could with her wall-eyes. “Oh, Derpy, I just don’t know what went wrong! I put the key where I normally do, and it’s gone!” She held up a rainbow-colored cupcake, frowning slightly. “...I found this in its place...”

The weathermare stared at the dessert, blinking, her mind processing the sight of it. “...I think I know who left that...wait a tic.” Her eyes snapped to the other pony’s face, wide in shock. “...key? As in, the TARDIS key!?”

Author's Note

:pinkiegasp: DUN DUN DUNNNN!

To all the young ones out there, I apologize for the middle scene. :fluttershysad: I wrote what came to mind, and it happened to be that...

To everyone who actually took the time to read this, I humbly thank you...and implore you to look at my latest blog. :scootangel: ...how does one even say 'Geass', anyways? :derpytongue2:

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #26

The two ponies sat in the bed, laughing brightly. The dark red stallion wiped a tear from his eye, trying to compose himself so he could continue. “T-then you said ‘get the mares there to take your ugly face on!’ That was great!” He fell back into laughter, doing his best to be as calm as possible when he saw his love about to speak.

“Your expression was priceless! I almost thought your mind melted!” She poked him in the chest, cheekily grinning.

He blushed slightly, a sly smile beginning to form. “But it was nothing compared to how you reacted to one of my lines.” He tapped a hoof against his chin, acting as if he was trying to remember. “What was it, again? Oh, right!” He booped her nose, chuckling softly. “‘Take your turntables and head off into the sunset...”

Her eyes narrowed slightly, her grin slowly beginning to fade. “...don’t you dare finish th-”

He placed his hoof on her lips, silencing her. “‘...it’s the closest to a ‘happy ending’ you’ll ever get.’” He laughed, holding his hooves up as she thumped him on the shoulder. “You didn’t let me finish, Vi!”

She blinked, confused. “...but...it was my turn after that, wasn’t it?”

Enigma turned to her, smiling softly. “It seems as though I was wrong.” He pulled her close, pressing his forehead against hers. “...and I’m glad...”

Vinyl sighed, melting into his embrace. “...so am I, E...so am I...” They stayed there like that for a few more minutes, enjoying the simple act of being so close to each other.

He cracked open an eye, a small smirk on his lips. “...still can’t believe you used to have a ‘safety record’, though.” He stuck his tongue out playfully.

The white mare thumped him on the shoulder once more, not even bothering to open her eyes. “...shut up, baka...” She cuddled closer to him, resting her head against his chest. A small smile of her own started to form on her face.

“...my baka...”

The next morning, the two lovebirds were travelling down the street. They chatted idly about music and the weather, glad that the Ponyville pegasi had made it a partially cloudy day - not too hot, not too cold.

They entered Sugarcube Corner and stared, perplexed. In front of them, two gray pegasi and one pink pony were arguing. Well, the first two were arguing - the brightly colored mare was just talking.

“Come on, Pinkie!” The slightly darker of the twins said, glaring harshly at the bubbly baker. “We know you took it, so give it back!”

Pinkie just giggled and smiled brightly, bouncing up and down as she moved around, taking orders to customers. “I didn’t take your key, silly filly!” She hoofed a donut to a spotted colt before turning to the two pegasi, the same bubbly smile on her face. “Why would I want it, anyways?”

The lighter one raised an eyebrow, her crossed eyes doing their best to focus on the brightly-colored mare. “Just last week you were begging to go into the Doctor’s...erm...house.” She coughed slightly, trying to pull attention away from the almost-slip-up.

Vinyl and Enigma had watched this from the doorway, blankly staring. The former turned to the spotted colt, rightly concerned. “...Pip, how long has that disagreement been going on?”

The earth pony turned to the disk jockey, shrugging helplessly. “Ever since I arrived, sis. The sisters Doo are getting rather angry, though.”

The couple looked at each other, sighing softly. The stallion looked at the three ponies, frowning slightly. “...I suppose there’s only one way for this to end, huh?”

The white unicorn raised a hoof to her face, groaning softly. “...of course...”

He sighed, turning around. “I’ll set everything up.”

Vinyl sat down behind her turntables, smiling softly at the red pegasus right next to her. She began setting up the track, shivering slightly as a wing teasingly traced her spine. She playfully bumped him, blushing brightly and biting her lower lip. “Later, E.”

The feathery appendage paused for a second before pulling away. The pony attached to it frowned a little, looking over at the rappers in front of them. He noticed how the both chose to wear glasses, although Pinkie’s also had false eyebrows and a clown nose on it. Derpy’s was a simple yet stylish pair of black shades. He noticed a similar looking mare in the crowd and started to wonder if he was going mad or just seeing things.

Another thought crossed his mind when he noticed that a certain yellow mare wasn’t around. He started to grow worried, hoping that she was alright.

Something touched his hindleg, causing him to jump. He glanced down, seeing a white hoof resting gently on his knee. He glanced over at the disk jockey, seeing the seductive tone conveyed in her smouldering gaze. “...don’t worry...I’ll make sure it’s worth the wait.~”

Vinyl turned back to the turntable, giggling at the sputtering her words caused Enigma. She flicked the switch, starting the music. She grinned, feeling more alive than she ever had before.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

Let's kick off this par-tay, girl! I'm the element of laughter.
Little known fact: I'm also a world-class rapper!
Put down that mic, silly filly, have a muffin instead
I got Balloons in My Basket-- you've got bees in your head!
You getting scared, already? Why am I not Surprised?
This is a mare who can't even look me straight in the eyes.
Is that your twin, or split personality?
What can you do, schizo-fritz, drop a piano on me?

I think you’ve got me confused with my sis.
Both my eyes are on you, so get ready for this.
You don’t scare me; I’ve run off worse threats.
With Horsepower at my side, I’ll never fret.
You bed so many stallions, you’re a walking disease!
You run on pure sugar - or, should I say, speed?
Wise up! We don’t want your smack here, Pie.
Why don’t you just go and watch paint dry?

I'm random! I'm crazy! I don't get confused.
I'm supercharged, so I've got MY eye on YOU.
It's true I'm hyper, I'm speedy, but not like that
It just takes somepony special to outrun Rainbow Dash.
It's time to cook up a solution with the knowledge I've accrued,
I'm a culinary gypsy and a mistress of food.
Just because you can see me doesn't mean good rhymes will follow
By the way-- who do you think BAKES all those muffins you swallow?

Pinkie please, let's be real; your parties are a total bore.
And your muffins are the only thing you're good for!
You think we're all naive, but for Celestia's sake,
Everypony knows about your affair with Mister Cake!
My eyes don't have to be right to see your true colors
Pink isn't on the list. You crave attention from others.
You're lonely, and think you'll get friends by making them laugh.
You're just jealous that I have somepony who loves me back.

WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Vinyl turned off the music, smiling softly at the red pegasus next to her. “Come on, E. I think it’s time you and I had some fun.” She winked at him, teasingly brushing up against him. “You know you want to.~”

He looked at her for a few moments, processing what she said before rolling his eyes. “For you, Vi, we can go play some pranks.” He chuckled, seeing her pump her hoof in joy out of the corner of his eye.

A black alicorn was shouting every curse she could think of, slamming her head against the crumbling walls of the deserted castle. “Those two lovebirds are so annoying!” A charcoal hoof alighted on her shoulder. Turning to look, she saw the other mare smirking deviously.

“Don’t worry. I have everything planned out.” Her lips slowly parted, revealing her fangs, glistening with anticipation.

“Soon.”

Author's Note

Thanks to ForeverFreest and Noah from Antisocial Inc. for helping me with this rap battle! :pinkiehappy: For some reason, I couldn’t get started on this one. :twilightblush: Oh, and thanks to Lazypoisonfl for the idea involving the first scene between Vi and E, and raybony for his help with the establishing section! :scootangel:

Not sure if I can keep this pace up. State and Local Politics take up more time than I’d like, and I apparently need more than three hours a day devoted to Computer Science. :ajsleepy: ...I hope I can make it through this...

Ponies in the title cards don’t match the descriptions because I couldn’t find two unique vectors of each of them wearing said glasses.

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #26: Results and Aftermath

Is it safe?

The curtain to the bedroom window opened slightly, a light blue eye peeking out apprehensively. There was the sound of scuffling, and a yellow ear pressed against the door.

I think the coast is clear.

The mare sighed in relief, a small smile on her lips. “...thank goodness...” She reached under her bed, pulling out a large, gray latex outfit. “...I hate this outfit...but how else am I supposed to perform in high-society?” She shook her head, carefully stepping into the outfit, pulling it up. She zipped it up, making sure it covered her blue mane beforehand. She looked into the mirror on her vanity cabinet.

A classy gray mare stared back, her light blue eyes standing out in contrast to her otherwise-dark palette. “...can’t believe I forgot...” She reached into one of the drawers, retrieving her contact lenses. With painstaking concentration, she put the plastic disks into her eyes, blinking them into place. Once more, she looked into the mirror.

Purple eyes looked back.

She nodded satisfactorily, a pleased smile on her face. “...and the disguise is complete, once more...” She sighed, opening the door to her room. “Thanks again, Pinkie...”

“Are you sure this is safe, Twilight?”

The lavender mare glanced up from her notes, taking in the burgundy pegasus in front of her. Said pony was standing on a portable stage they borrowed from their dressmaker friend. Well, to be a bit more accurate, it was the unicorn’s dressmaker friend. The feminine stallion accidentally insulted the fashionista the first time they met, and things went downhill from there.

The studious pony smiled, placing a gentle hoof on her friend’s foreleg. “Don’t worry, Enigma. I’ve studied this spell multiple times. I’ve tried it on Fluttershy - and even myself - to make sure it’s safe!” She moved back to the notebook on the desk, reading it once more.

The pegasus fidgeted slightly, still unsure. “...well...if you did it on yourself and ‘Shy...why do you need me?”

“Oh, that’s easy!” She nodded to herself and stood in front of the other pony. “I need to know how this would affect a pegasus stallion - to see if there’s a difference caused by gender, of course - and you were the first one I could find.”

“...you mean ran into...” Enigma sighed, rubbing his still-sore neck. “...fine...just...promise me you won’t make me explode, or something...”

Twilight nodded, focusing her magic on the other pony. “I promise nothing like that would happen. Now, concentrate. Picture the mane color you’d like to change to.”

He rolled his eyes before closing them. Seriously, what is the point of learning a spell like this? He pictured the dark blue and electric blue of his marefriend’s mane and tail. ...it’s a lot softer than I’d originally thought...especially when she uses it to tickle my nose...heh... Of course, that thought led to other thoughts, ones that were enough to make his cheeks turn a slight shade darker.

That’s when he noticed the tingling.

His eyes snapped open, watching as the magic around him faded. “...what was that?” He looked down at the unicorn in front of him, noticing how exhausted she looked.

She returned the stare, exasperated. “I should ask you the same thing! I found myself using four times the magic I needed for Fluttershy and myself!” She sighed, glancing at the shock of blue mane covering the pegasus’s head. “Glad to see it worked, though. I would’ve been really upset if it didn’t.”

Enigma watched her move back over to her notes, apparently trying to figure out what happened. He shrugged, stepping off the small stage to see for himself.

He immediately froze.

“...Twi?”

She turned her head to him, though her eyes were still on her notebook. “Mmhmm?”

He quickly realized she wasn’t really paying attention. He shook his head, remembering when she’d done this before. Thankfully, he knew just what to do. “Twilight, don’t make me rearrange the books in here!”

She quickly snapped her eyes to his, concerned. “Please, I just reshelved this-” She paused, finally noticing the worry in his eyes. “...Enigma? What’s wrong?”

He gulped, glancing over his shoulder. “...something’s...missing...”

She tilted her head in confusion, looking at his flank. “What do you mean? Your tail’s still there.”

“No,” he groaned, shuffling his legs nervously and urgently jerking his head back over his shoulder, “something’s missing!”

She stood there for a few moments, uncomprehending, before it suddenly hit her. “...oh, Celestia...uh...” She circled around behind the other pony and saw what he was talking about. “...well...now we know where the extra magic went...right?” She sheepishly smiled, a small ‘squee’ sound coming from her as she did so.

He stared at her as if she’d suddenly sprouted wings. “...seriously, how do you mares do that? Are you part squeaky-toy?” He sighed, rushing out the door. “...I hope this is reversible...”

Twilight watched him leave before glancing at the notebook once more. "...I suppose my work with the 'Talent Enhancer' Potion will just have to wait..." She shook her head, pulling out a quill and starting to calculate a way to fix the poor pegasus back.

A certain white unicorn lay on her couch, watching the two ponies across her lemonade table whisper to each other. Next to her on the recliner, the pink party pony watched as well, an oblivious smile on her face.

Eventually, the twins broke their huddle, turning to the other two. “Okay, so Pinkie has to do whatever we say, right?”

The unicorn shook her head, frowning softly. “Not anything. It has to be within reason. Not to mention that it’s limited to three separate requests.” She glanced over at the aforementioned mare, confused and curious. “...you seem rather nonchalant about this whole thing...”

Pinkie giggled, nodding her head happily. “Of course! After all, she won fair and square!” She leaped off the recliner, hugging the cross-eyed mare. “Congrats again, Ditzy!”

The gray pegasus stared blankly into the distance over the other mare’s shoulder, jaw agape in surprise. “...thanks, Pinkie...” She carefully pulled away and scratched her head, thinking a bit. “...well...to begin with, could I have the key back?”

The party pony smacked her forehead, giggling. “Silly me! I completely forgot!” She reached a hoof into her mane and pulled out a key, smiling brightly. “You dropped it in the middle of the marketplace. I was gonna give it to you when you came into the shop!”

Everyone there just stared at her. Vinyl sighed, a bemused look on her face. “...if you had it in the first place, why didn’t you just give it to her?”

“She asked me for a rap battle. How could I refuse something as fun as that?” She giggled, giving the key to the cross-eyed pony. “Here you go!”

Ditzy sighed in relief, holding the key close to her chest. “...I got it back...the Doctor won’t have to know I lost it...”

The three left, the other gray mare talking to Pinkie. “We’re gonna talk about those other two requests later...”

Vinyl groaned, rubbing the side of her head. “...thank goodness that’s over...” The door clicked open, causing her to jump, startled. Annoyed, she stood up and approached the entrance. “Did one of you forget something?”

A dark red muzzle poked inside, followed by the rest of the pegasus. There was a confused expression on his face. “...I don’t think so?” He entered the house, placing a wing on her back. “...Vi...could we go upstairs? I have something...strange...I need to tell you...”

The disk jockey was about to ask why they couldn’t just talk there, but she recognized the worried tone in his voice. After a few seconds, she nodded, smiling reassuringly at him. “Of course, E.” They started their walk together up the stairs, enjoying their embrace. “Just remember, E, I’ll love you no matter what.”

He sighed, muttering to himself. “...I’ll hold you to that...”

“This is not funny, Sombra!”

The black unicorn was too busy laughing to reply immediately to the black kitten glaring at him. When he finally had his breath back, he wiped a tear from his eye, looking up at her. “I don’t know, Airfare Tune, it seems pretty bucking funny from where I’m standing!” He quickly fell back into his fit of laughter, rolling on the floor.

Said feline growled, sauntering forward and grabbing the wand which the hysterics-stricken conqueror dropped. She quietly pointed it at him, a smirk on her cute little kitty face.

ZAP!

The unicorn’s laughter stopped immediately - or, rather, the now-turned puppy stopped laughing. Somehow, his regalia had morphed to fit his new shape. It didn’t keep him from looking downright adorable, even considering the caustic look he was giving the cat. “Fine. I won’t laugh any more. Now give me the bucking Transmorgrifier.”

The feline rolled her eyes and tossed the wand over. “Here.” She glanced around, noticing it was just the two of them. “...say, Sombra, have you seen Chrysalis?” There was a small flash and a loud ZAP! She turned to look at the other being.

He, back in his original form, looked at her, quirking an eyebrow. “Crystal-Less? I think she left a while back. Now hold still.” He pointed the wand at her, smirking calmly. “Don’t want you turning into something else, do we?”

ZAP!

“..oh...I feel so...guilty...”

A familiar yellow pegasus was sitting in her house, watching the sun as it rose. It was one of the few times she could watch it without the danger of hurting her eyes. “...if only I’d been there...I could’ve talked you out of it...”

“Au contraire, Fluttershy!”

She jumped in surprise, quickly turning to look at the source of the noise. As soon as she saw the lion’s paw poking out of her kitchen, she knew who it was. She rushed over, pulling the door open.

The first thing she noticed was her table. On the other side sat her friend, a small salad between them on the wooden surface. “Did you miss me?” He got up, smiling playfully. “I missed you.”

She smiled softly at him, slowly walking up. “I did...I’m sorry I wasn’t there...” She glanced away in shame, finding herself staring at the bowl of food. “...what is this?”

He chuckled deeply, gesturing to said food. “Why, it’s something I made myself - I believe it’s called ‘Caesar salad’?” He snapped his talons, causing a fork to form in the air in front of him. He grabbed it and picked up some of the salad. “Romaine lettuce with parmesan cheese and a specially-made dressing. I’m sure you’ll love it.” He held it out to her, smiling brightly.

She reached out for the fork, but he pulled it away, shaking his head at her. “Not so fast! I want to do something nice, but I want to do it my way.” He brought the fork forward once more, grinning. “Open wide, Fluttershy.”

She looked at him, confusion clear on her face, but did as she was told, opening her mouth for him. She watched as he put the food in her mouth, gratefully eating each bite.

She didn’t see it, but he discretely snapped his tail, causing a few items to appear in the front hall. He glanced at the door with every forkful of food he gave her, a small frown on his face each time.

On the fifth bite, the door he was looking at opened, a burgundy pegasus stepping inside. “Hey, ‘Shy. Vi asked me to-” He stopped, staring at the scene in front of him. From where he was standing, with the candles, rose petals and the sight of Fluttershy being fed by Discord, he was unsure what to think. “...uh...”

The draconequus stared straight at the red pony, a even look on his face. “This is exactly what it looks like.”

Enigma, slightly embarrassed and softly blushing, slowly backed out the door, closing it as he did.

The butter-yellow mare gave Discord a stern look, frowning softly. “Why did you do that?”

He shrugged, smiling cheekily. “What? I thought it would be funny.”

The burgundy pegasus sighed, starting back on the road to town. “...I didn’t expect that...”

He walked for a while before he saw another pony approaching him from the other direction. As he got closer, he recognized their iconic purple shades, a small smile forming on his lips. “Hey, Vi! What’re you doing here?”

The mare took her shades off, rolling her red eyes. “Applejack’s dog ran into the forest and she asked me to get her back safely.” She looked over at him, grinning brightly. “Since you’re here, though, do you mind helping me find her?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “I see. Sure, I’ll help you find Winona.” They started to turn around, walking back towards the opening of the Everfree Forest. He draped his wing over her back, wanting to make sure he didn’t get separated from her.

On the other side of Equestria, a pony entered an ancient antechamber. She approached the pedestal, a giddy smile on her face. “After all this time...all the turmoil...every single pony and griffon who tried to betray me...I’m about to retrieve the-”

She stopped mid-sentence, staring down at the almost-empty space where the relic was supposed to be. In its place was a single golden feather. She stood there for a few moments in stunned silence. Then she raised a hoof to the sky, shouting at the top of her lungs.

“BUUUUUUUUUUUU-”

Author's Note

Hello, there! I’m sorry I haven’t been on in...nine and a half weeks? :twilightoops: Squeak. Sorry, all...I have more than one math class, and they’re taking up a lot of my time... :twilightblush: The next rap battle’s gonna take a while, as well...I have to wait for someone else to help me with it...no hints as to who, though! :raritywink: I want it to be a surprise, after all!~ :derpytongue2:

On another note, Derpy won, 63 to 50 (fixed, as i accidentally missed the last vote :twilightblush:). There was also a vote for Applejack, Raindrops, Vinyl and Enigma, the Doctor, “Derpy Pie”, the TARDIS and the turntables. Not kidding, someone voted for the turntables. Not sure how to feel about that. There were two for Princess Luna, as well.

Oh, and don't assume that these are one-off jokes. I guarantee that there's a bit that will be relevant later on... :scootangel: ...also, is it bad that I'd like to see a tropes page about this story? :applejackunsure:

Oh, and I feel the need to express how I feel about Princess Twilight. Well, despite the joke I made above, I’m actually rather excited. She’s definitely proven that she’s worthy of the title, and we’ve seen her grow over the series. Also, who knows where they could take this afterwards? :pinkiehappy: I love not knowing what to expect - it’s part of what I love about Friendship is Magic! :twilightsmile:

Until next time, have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #27

Octavia entered her house, sighing softly. She moved into the kitchen and set her saddlebags down, pulling a few choice vegetables out to put into their fridge’s crisper drawer. That was an eventful trip to the market. The earlier I go, the better. I feel bad about the Cakes, though. Hiring new help, and somepony who hasn’t dealt with Pinkie before, to boot. She glanced over, seeing that her roommate had started the dishwasher. Still can’t believe music can clean dishes.

She shook her head, carefully laying a Romaine heart in the drawer. I think I’ll just relax, today. Maybe go to the library, get a nice cappuccino or-

“HEY, ‘TAVI! COME TO THE BASEMENT, QUICK!”

She sighed, rubbing the side of her head as she walked over to the basement door. “Of course.” She nudged the door open, begrudgingly travelling down the stairs. “Yes, Vinyl? What is-”

She stopped mid-sentence, staring in shock at the scene in front of her. “... Vinyl, what are those?”

The white unicorn beamed, motioning to the items behind her. One of them was placed on a ponnequin, another on the wall and the third on a special rest. “Check it out! You know how my Bass Cannon is ridiculously bulky and unwieldy? Well, I finally made the Bass Cannon Mks. II, III and IV!” She paused, looking at the equipment behind her. “Or maybe I should just call them ‘Dubstep Guns’?”

Dismissing that thought with a shrug, she walked over to the ponnequin, motioning to its forehooves. Fitted on them was a pair of boot-like metal circles, some glowing red wires trailing up the legs to the harness on the back. “This is the Mk. II, for earth ponies - though, to be fair, they're all currently made for a mare's build. Anyways, I call them the Bass Drops!” She tilted the doll up, showing a couple of speakers fitted into the bottom of each ‘boot’. “High-quality speakers, so that it can handle as much bass as possible! This one has the added ability of trapping the target in a wave of energy when shot into the ground!” She pointed at the wires next, two to each boot. “These wires supply power from the magic crystal,” here she indicated the said item, emitting a burgundy glow in the harness, “though, if I'm being honest, they’re mainly for show. It’s essentially wireless power, but they do allow for greater transmission, not to mention a sweet design!”

She turned to the one mounted on the wall, smiling. “The same goes for the Mk. III - the Rewind!” She pointed to both of the speakers, larger than the ones in the previous model. “Made specifically for pegasi, these babies have the ability to project a shield for their user when they wrap their wings around themselves. It’s also good for firing in opposite directions at the same time!” She giggled, tapping the green crystal in the center of the device. “For some reason, the only suitable crystal I could find for this was an emerald with small flaw in the middle of it. At least it fits the theme of it.” Said crystal dimmed momentarily as she turned away, showing the flaw, shaped like a pair of wings.

Finally, she motioned towards the long, metal rod with a plastic shock absorber, which, unlike the other two, had no visible crystal powering it. “This one is my favorite - the Mk. IV, or, as I’ve dubbed it, the V-Rifle!” She noticed the strange look her friend was giving her and shrugged. “The V stands for both my name, Vinyl, and vivamente, which means 'quickly and lively'. I ran out of suitable musical terms.” She lifted it off with her magic, holding it in the air in front of her face. Her hoof traced along the barrel, a dreamy look coming to her eyes. “It took the last of the mythril I had, but it was worth it! A weapon powered purely by my own magic! I can point this beauty in any direction and it won’t be uncomfortable.” Her smile faltered slightly and she muttered to herself. “Sadly, the one downside is that I can't use it in two directions at once like the other ones.” Soon, though, her glee returned, and she turned towards her friend.

“But the best part - the BEST part,” she sat in the middle of the weapons, grinning widely, “is that, not only do they have their own special attributes, they can work in tandem and create a SUPER DROP!”

Octavia stared at her roommate, her stoic mask hiding the utter horror she was feeling. “You aren’t going to try those out in the house, are you?”

Vinyl scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, right! I’ve learned my lesson when my first one decimated a boulder outside of Canterlot.” She laid the V-Rifle across her back, walking towards the stairs. “I’m going out to my firing range in a clearing of the Everfree! You’re free to come, if you want!”

The classy mare recalled her recent quest through said forest and shook her head, smiling sheepishly. “I think I’ve seen enough of that forest to last a lifetime.”

The disk jockey shrugged, smiling complacently. “Suit yourself, ‘Tavi.” She went up the stairs, leaving her best friend in the basement.

Octavia sat there in silence, looking at the two remaining weapons. “I hope she doesn’t market these...”

Vinyl pranced down the street, making sure that the V-Rifle stayed on her back.

The author then proceeded to beat his head on the desk for actually writing that Scratch pranced anywhere.

agsrvfrbgverabhsgbarvdjgbzdv

He feels better, now that he’s been justly punished. Back to the story!

She wasn’t going to let anything distract her. She was going to go to her firing range, and she was going to try out the Mk. IV.

“Hello, Scratch.”

She blinked, turning to look at the pony who spoke. She mentally facehoofed. Well, there goes that plan. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and faced the pegasus who called her.

She was glad she was wearing her shades, otherwise the glare from the pony’s golden coat would have blinded her. Even so, it took her a while to recognize the pony behind the aviator sunglasses.

Vinyl beamed in happiness. “Hey, Spits! What’s up?”

“Nothing much. Just taking a small vacation.” She motioned to the town in general. “Figured a small place like Ponyville would be a good spot to have some time to ourselves.”

The disk jockey giggled, recalling a certain prismatic-maned pegasus. “You may be a little off on-” She paused, just realizing something. “... ‘ourselves’? What do you mean by that?”

Spitfire grinned, glancing around to see if anypony was around. There wasn’t. “Good. No paparazzi.” She turned to the other mare, a glimmer in her eye. “I’m here with my special somepony.”

The white unicorn laughed, shaking her head and patting the captain on her shoulder. “Good one! The star of the Wonderbolts settling down!” She smiled, nudging her friend. “No, seriously, who are you here with? Is it Soarin’? Fleetfoot?”

Her face quickly turned into a mask of bemusement. “Her name’s Life Spark.”

Vinyl blinked, putting a hoof to her chin. “I don’t know that Wonderbolt... is she new?”

Spitfire’s eyebrows furrowed, her lips parting slightly in an attempt to form words. Of course, she couldn’t, too perplexed by her old friend.

Finally, it came to Vinyl. Her eyes widened behind her shades, her jaw dropping momentarily. “So you really... oh, dear Luna...” She gulped, sheepishly smiling. “Sorry I didn’t believe you. So, uh, how did you two meet?”

The golden mare rolled her eyes, a small smile wiping her frown away. “You wouldn’t believe me, but alright. It started when-”

“Gotcha now!”

They both turned towards the sunrise as a whip shot out and wrapped around the stunt-flier’s legs. It became taut and, with a yelp, she was pulled to the ground and dragged away.

The disk jockey, concerned for her friend (and rightly so) ran towards her attacker. As soon as she caught up, she pushed the pegasus. “What’s the big i-” She froze, immediately recognizing the monochromatic mane. “...dea?”

The mare turned towards her, one hoof resting on top of the hog-tied captain. She tilted her pith hat up, rose eyes studying the intruding pony. “Can I help you?”

“No way...” She took a step closer to the being she once thought of as fictional. “You’re... you’re Daring Do...”

The tan pegasus grinned, touching the brim of her hat in greeting. “Nice to see one of my fans. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” she grabbed Spitfire by the scruff of her neck, frowning deeply, “I need to retrieve an artifact from this thief.”

Vinyl blinked, staring at the adventure hero in confusion. “What do you mean? What artifact?”

“The Golden Fleece.” Daring shook the tied up mare. “This pony took it from a temple far to the south. The ancient civilization there hid it to keep their kingdom from falling. Kind of defeats the purpose of it, but I digress. Generations passed, and they moved on, the Fleece long forgotten.” She chuckled, shaking her head a bit. “Their civilization fell weeks later.”

“You know what? I’ve had enough of this!” Spitfire rapidly unfurled her wings, flipping herself over and slipping out of her bindings. “You dare to question my honor? I know how to settle this!”

“Woah, hold up!” The disk jockey stepped in front of her friend, hooves out to keep her from charging. “No need to get violent, here!”

“Who said anything about getting violent?” The captain removed her shades, glaring at the other pegasus. “I want to berate her. Sorry, Daring, but it’s time” she slid her shades back on, smirking, “to pay your dues.”

“YEAH!!”

They all jumped, staring at the white, muscle-bound stallion. He stared back for a few seconds before slowly retreating back into the house he popped out of.

Vinyl sighed, heading back into town, muttering to herself. “I knew my plans were gonna get ruined...”

Soon enough, all three of the ponies were on the orchestral stage in town square. Vinyl was calibrating all of her equipment after what seemed like months of disuse. That’s what the current state of her electronics seemed to imply, at least.

The two mares stood at either side of the stage. Spitfire wore her sunglasses, while Daring had her pith hat and whip. Both had a headset on, the microphones positioned in just the right spot to pick up their voices without them accidentally hitting the microphone with their lips (something they’d had to do ever since Gilda and Blueblood’s battle).

The adventurer smirked, narrowing her eyes at the other pegasus. “I hope you’re ready to lose in front of your marefriend.”

The captain shook her head, her expression even. “I won’t have to worry about that, Daring Don’t.”

In the crowd, a duo of pegasi stood in awe, the smaller one’s tangerine hooves resting on the messy prismatic mane of the larger. “This is gonna be so awesome!” The mare didn’t even care that her voice cracked. She was too enraptured in the sight of her two idols about to rap against each other.

The disk jockey made one last check to be sure everything was working properly. Seeing everything in sync, she started the music and set her magic to work, casting a spell to create a moving backdrop for the rappers. Now that everything was ready, she shouted out to the crowd.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

Soarin' told me that you’re straight, but I think he is a liar.
Don't try to hide that you're bi, it’s in your eyes, Spitfire!
I heard all about your years as wing-man predecessor:
You bed so many stallions, it was an academy record!
Your ONLY good trait is that you don’t fly dirty,
Doesn’t mean JACK if your wings crap out at thirty!
You talk big, act like you knock the competition out cold
But you were out-flown by Dash when she was 4 years old!

Alright, that’s enough sass, Miss Jungle Book,
Speaking of Dash, why you stealing her look?
Actually, the last time you were THAT uncreative
You were outrunning aliens and Amazon natives!
And I fooled around back in school, so sue me.
At least my nickname wasn’t “Daring-Please Do-Me!”
Got you pinned down better than Ahuizotl
By the time this is done your face will be totaled.

That’s freaking IT, you yellow-orange Queer:
I see more adventure in a day then you see all YEAR!
You say you’re hardcore, I must object – wake up
You got knocked out by an insect with make-up! (HEY!)
And let’s not forget when a baby owned your dumb flank
Now buck up, Spits, or I’ll have to strip you of your rank.
You’re gonna die, give it time, but look, strive and you’ll find:
In fifty years I’ll be alive in all KINDS of pony’s minds!

This whole time I’ve been dropping lyrical boulders and
I’m worth my weight in gold; your books? Their weight in sand!
No one reads ‘em, that’s why Twilight has so few copies
I guess the 4th time around your writers got SLOPPY!
Step up to me with that attitude and I'll make you cringe, Do.
You'll need more than a fridge when I blow up on you!
And you’re right, it’s true, one day I’m gonna expire.
But no one will EVER forget the name 'Spitfire'!

WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

As soon as the music ended, Vinyl turned to leave the stage. She jumped slightly at the pony in her path, but recovered quickly. “E, you startled me.”

He chuckled, moving forward and nuzzling her cheek. “Sorry, Vi.” He pulled back, an apprehensive look on his face. “...hey, I want to...uh...” He cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. “Do you wanna, maybe, go out on Friday? I know a little restaurant that is really good. Better than Canterlot’s eating establishments.”

She giggled, wrapping her forelegs around his neck in a hug. “I’d like that, E. I gotta do something now, so I can’t stay and chat.” She flipped the V-Rifle onto her back, grinning brightly. “I gotta try this beauty out! Come by my place later and I’ll see if I can get you fitted for one of the other Dubstep Guns!” She raced off before he could say anything else.

He sat on his haunches, thinking silently to himself. “...‘Dubstep Guns’?” He reached into one of his saddlebags, withdrawing with a small box in his hoof. He smiled softly, glancing up at the progressively-smaller form of his love.

He chuckled gently to himself as he placed the black velvet box back in his bag.

A voice called out from the crowd. “It needs to be about twenty percent cooler.”

Author's Note

Thanks to gordobraveheart and Noah from Antisocial Ind. for helping with the rap battle and to a certain writer for letting me borrow her OC, Life Spark! :scootangel: Kinda wish I could’ve had a little help from them to get her OC actually into the chapter, but oh well. I'll get over it. :moustache:

...should I be crediting someone else? :unsuresweetie: ...I don't think so...

And no, the Dubstep Weapons are not gonna be a one-off thing. At least, I’m not planning on it; I'm even attempting to sketch the design for each of them. :eeyup: I do apologize for the names of the weapons, though... :twilightblush:

Also, see if you can get the references, and be sure to check out my latest blog entry for contest info! :pinkiehappy: There's a new prize, and it's one I think will be interesting to you all.~ :raritywink:

While I’m waiting on the results, should I rewrite some of the earlier chapters? :duck: I feel like they could be a little bit better fleshed out (not to mention that the Pinkie vs. Rarity rap battle leaves something to be desired :derpytongue2:).

Here are a few rejected/original lyrics for you all, since you've been so patient! :rainbowdetermined2:

Don't try to hide that you're bi, I can see it in your eye.
Makes me wonder if what Soarin' said wasn't a lie.
You're enough of a slut for it to be true.
So what number's Life Spark? Twelve or forty-two?

Alright, that’s enough sass, Miss Jungle Book,
You're just a wannabe Dash, stealing her look!
I spit flames, I don't play games when my pride is on the line,
You're wasting my time, you fictional tanned mime!
Buck Soarin' that fool don't know shit,
Sis, look at my speed, do you even drift?
Step up to me with that attitude and I'll make you cringe,
When I blow up, you're gonna need more than a fridge!

You're just a wannabe, trying to be a successor,
You? Beating me? Ha, that'll be an academy record!

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #27: Results and Aftermath

Vinyl stood in a grassy field, carefully finishing up the final arrangement of sticks and rocks. “...and...there we go!” She stepped back, grinning brightly at the set-up.

Throughout the field stood a dozen ‘ponies’ made up of any loose objects she could find. There was an emerald glow within the eyes of each of the figures, courtesy of the magic-imbued crystals inside of their heads. She took one last cursory look at each of them, pausing at one near the edge of the clearing.

She frowned, her fuschia eyes trailing over its form. “...something’s wrong with this one...what is it?” Her gaze went from the crooked wooden ‘horn’ on its forehead down to its bare back. Her eyes lit up in excitement. “That’s it!” She grabbed a couple of large, hole-filled leaves, placing them on the back of her creation. “There. Now you match your brethren!”

She gleefully trotted back to the center of the field where her V-Rifle and a small pack lay. This time will be different. On her way, she passed by a lone figure laying on its side. A flash of guilt crossed her face, but she quickly shook it off, continuing to her equipment. I’m sure it will be different. It has to be. She carefully put the harness on her back, tapping the side of it. The gem in the center flickered to life, projecting a few words in the corner of her shades.

Lives Remaining: 5

Enemies Remaining: 12

Friendly: 1

She frowned, tapping the side of it a few more times.

Lives Remaining: 2

Enemies Remaining: 12

Friendly: 1

Satisfied, she nodded, picking up the Mk. IV with her magic. She lowered a microphone on her headset, suddenly serious. “Prepare the simulation.”

Around her, the forest melted away, transforming into tall, formerly-pristine buildings. The rock and wood of the figures morphed into black chitin, their eyes blinking for the first time as they came to life.

She glanced over at the lone figure, catching a glimpse of dark red between the charcoal bodies. Her teeth ground together, and her ears were filled with the sound of hissing and a barely-perceivable whimper. Her eyes, usually bright and playful, were now filled with pure venom. She took a calming breath and cleared her mind, her body tensing ever so slightly.

“Begin.”

As soon as the word left her mouth, three of the creatures leapt at her, their fangs bared. She saw this and smirked, leaping up into the air above their heads. Down below, the trio slammed into each other, unable to stop in time.

She flipped the V-Rifle down at them as they looked up at her. Time slowed to a stand-still, the humming of her weapon the only indication of movement. Their eyes widened in horror as she braced herself against the gun, her lips parting slightly in a snide grin.

Wub-a-dub-dub, mutha-

BASS CANNON KICK IT!

A blast of lightning shot out of the barrel, surging down at the unlucky individuals. The trio were sent flying in different directions, singed by the powerful shot. Vinyl, herself, was sent further into the air due to the recoil.

Enemies Remaining: 9

Two more of the little insects saw this as an opportunity, flying up into the air above her. They folded their wings in, letting themselves freefall at her from opposite directions, a green fire forming around their bodies.

She saw this and, seeing that they’d hit her if she didn’t move, quickly came up with a plan. Naturally, she aimed her weapon upwards. “Going down!” She shot once more, sending herself crashing to the ground. The enemies above her, surprised by this tactic, smashed into each other with a sickening crunch.

Vinyl got up and shook herself off, used to getting hurt like that. This didn’t stop the hologram on her back from counting it against her, though.

Lives Remaining: 1

Enemies Remaining: 7

She groaned, rolling her eyes. Stupid device. She glanced around, noticing that three of the enemies were surrounding the pony on the ground. The other four were standing in a half-circle in front of her, keeping her from progressing to her goal.

Her eyes narrowed dangerously at them, annoyed. ...just like back then... She shook her head to clear her mind, raising up the V-Rifle. “Not this time, bros.”

She leapt forward into the middle of them, knowing that they’d try to surround her. Hook... As they started to close in on her, she curled herself up into a ball, still in mid-air, a small smirk on her lips. ...line and... They came into leg-reach.

Sinker! She planted her left foreleg on the ground and shot her other legs out, clocking each of them in the jaw. She placed her hooves back on the ground, grinning at the three unconscious forms on the ground.

Enemies Remaining: 4

She blinked, confused. Hold on...I could’ve sworn there were-

Her thoughts were interrupted as a rustle came from behind her. With a sigh, she swung her hindhoof back, kicking the one who tried to sneak up on her in the face. There we go.

Enemies Remaining: 3

She glanced over at the remaining three. Alright, this is going better than expected! She grinned, approaching the small group. I’m almost done, and in only two minutes, too!

A chill went up her spine. ...two minutes...no... She peeked over her shoulder, seeing a rapidly approaching wall of magenta. No. She turned back around and rushed at the three remaining enemies. She launched herself at them, hindleg-first, teeth clenched. Dynamic entry!

One of them saw her coming and ducked.

No! She slammed into two of them, sending them flying.

Enemies Remaining: 1

The remaining foe saw the wall coming and grabbed onto the injured pony’s tail, a fire in its eyes. A split second later, it hit.

Maroon eyes locked with fuschia in a moment that felt like a lifetime.

“NO!” Vinyl was helpless. The insect-like creature was sent flying, taking the friendly with it. She could hear the cry of the pegasus as he was forcibly separated from her.

“VINYL!”

Simulation Terminated

All Your Love Is Belong to Us

The cityscape dissolved around her, the forest quickly taking back the space that was rightfully its own. Each of the charcoal forms around her returned to stone and wood, the separate elements falling apart.

All the while, the white unicorn continued to stare off into space, her mouth agape with shock. “...I...I still couldn’t do it...” She fell to the loamy soil, a single tear falling down the edge of her cheek. “...I’m so sorry...”

A short distance away, an indigo glimmer emitted from a shattered rock - a promise for a solution.

Things were going smoothly for Rarity. She had successfully completed an order for Fancy Pants and his wife and just sent it off. She wasn’t sure what they needed silk vests for, but she knew better than to ask them in-pony. No, that sort of information was what her gossip sources were for.

She walked up the stairs to the living area of Carousel Boutique, intent on getting ready for bed. A small splash caught her attention, making her ear twitch slightly. Sweetie Belle, I swear...

She silently stormed over to the bathroom that her guests used and pressed an ear to the mahogany. That’s strange. I can swear I hear two voices in there. She quietly cleared her throat and knocked, hearing the voices stop in response. “Sweetie, are you alright in there? You’re not making a mess, are you?”

“I’m fine, Rarity!” It was definitely her sister’s voice, though there was a small squeak in the middle of her sentence for some reason. “I’ll clean up the water after I’m done!”

The fashionista was still rather suspicious, but she didn’t have any proof something was off. “Alright, Sweetie. Make sure you’re out soon, though. You don’t want to get your hooves all pruney! Trust me.” She shivered slightly at the memory, heading off to her own bathroom.

On the other side of the door, the white filly sighed, releasing her death-grip on her friend’s mouth. “That was close.”

He rubbed his somewhat-sore jaw with a claw, frowning slightly. “I really hate having to sneak around like this. I mean, what’s to say that they won’t be alright with us dating?”

Sweetie flailed her forelegs, eyes wide in horror. “Are you crazy?! After Rarity took a switch to you and Twilight tried to lock you in your room, you think they’ll be alright with it?!”

The dragon shrugged a little, honestly unconvinced. “Maybe they’re being over-protective because we’re trying to be sneaky about it, you know?”

They looked at each other in silence for a few moments before the little unicorn sighed. “Let’s talk about this later. You should go back to the library before Twilight starts looking for you.”

He sighed, gently placing a claw on her shoulder. “Fine.” He pulled her close for a short, chaste kiss before moving towards the window, where a small rope was hanging to the ground outside. “Night, Sweetie.”

She smiled softly, still blushing a bit from the kiss. “Night, Spike.”

Fluttershy sat in the corner of the booth, feeling a little nervous. She actually had a reason this time, though - she and Daring had accidentally interrupted a date.

She glanced over at the one pony she didn’t know - a tan pegasus. The mare was currently twirling a lock of her two-toned red mane, trying to act as if she wasn’t annoyed that she and her marefriend’s private time was invaded by two pegasi she didn’t even know. Her green eyes couldn’t hide her ire, though.

The two former-competitors, on the other hoof, were busy arguing. The Element of Kindness took one of her earbuds out, trying to see where they were in their fight.

“-you know you’ve always been jealous that I was more popular in flight camp. Hay, I bet that’s why you were desperate enough to do that shamble of a flick.”

“You shut up! I-” The adventure-loving mare stopped, something suddenly coming to mind. She turned to her yellow friend, eyes narrowed. “‘Shy, why were those so bad, anyways? I know for a fact that those events didn’t happen.”

Fluttershy gulped, wishing very much that she could just move through the corner of the room. Sadly, that wasn’t an option for her. “...um...i-it wasn’t my choice...they did it without consulting me...I-I only found out about it when it was too late...I’m sorry...”

Daring sighed, placing a hoof on her friend’s back. “It’s fine, ‘Shy. Let’s just take care of business here so that these two-”

“Vinyl.”

The four pegasi turned to the voice, seeing a burgundy pony kneeling in front of a white mare, a black box in hoof.

“Oh my Celestia, is that-”

“Shh!”

“I’ve known you for the longest time, before even meeting you in-pony.” The pegasus hesitated, his cheeks becoming even darker than normal from the blood flooding them. “It’s been quite a ride, but I want to slow down and settle. With you.” He flipped the lid of the box, revealing a golden band with a decent diamond in a fixture. “It took a few months of saving my bits, but I was finally able to afford the perfect ring. And now I ask you...” He held it up a little higher, a smile on his lips. “...will you marry me?”

The unicorn put a hoof to her lips, staring at him in stunned silence. Finally, after a few moments, she pulled it away, a nervous smile on her face. “Let me think about it...”

The stallion’s face fell at hearing this, and Fluttershy’s heart went out to him. Poor Enigma. That’s how Vinyl usually refuses-

The white mare lifted the pegasus’ chin and kissed him on the lips. She pulled away, smiling playfully. “The answer’s yes.”

"You know what this calls for?" The couple jumped in surprise, staring at the pink pony that popped out of their table's vase. "A PARTY!~" Said mare then raced out, acting as if she didn't just make everypony confused out of their mind.

The timid mare stared in surprise. ...um...glad I was wrong? She turned to look at the other mares at her table and had her surprise doubled when each and every one of them had their wings flared out behind them. ...oh my...

The military mare was the first to talk, though her voice sounded a little hoarse. “...that was hot.”

Daring poked at one of the candlesticks adorning the table, blushing brightly. “I have to agree.”

Spitfire turned to the monochromatic-maned mare, frowning slightly. “I thought you were straight?”

The adventurer stared back, confused. “I am.” She shook her head, holding up a hoof. “Look, I don’t want us going off on another tangent. I have something to say before my sister announces who won.” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “I was wrong.”

Silence.

She peeked an eye open, seeing all of the mares staring at her - two in confusion and one in bemusement. Daring sighed, holding up the golden feather she’d found. “I wasn’t wrong about this belonging to you, but I did find out that this is a primary feather. For a pegasus, those never come out naturally. One has to tug on it a lot for that to happen.”

“So what I’m trying to say is...” She sighed once more. “I’m sorry, Spitfire.”

“Apology accepted.”

The two sisters stared at the Captain in shock. They hadn’t expected her to accept the apology so readily. She really is understanding. Fluttershy cleared her throat, pulling out Vinyl’s phone. “O-okay, then. The winner is...Spitfire.”

She nodded a little, smiling in satisfaction. “Knew it.” She turned and called over her shoulder. “Hey, Soarin’! You owe me twenty bits!” The stallion in question groaned, his face planting itself on the oak of one of the restaurant’s tables.

“We’ll, um, leave you two alone, now.” The siblings rushed out the door, leaving the couple together in their private booth.

Let’s give them a little privacy, too, shall we?

Author's Note

The votes have been counted up, and the winner is Spitfire with a score of 36 to 33. I’m surprised that this one didn’t get as much attention as the other rap battles. :derpytongue2:

“I blame the new website layout.”

Anyways, I hope you enjoy the ‘fight’ scene, and I hope that Life Spark’s owner can forgive me if I portrayed her incorrectly. :twilightblush:

The Bonus Chapter segments will be coming up next, so stay tuned for those!~ :pinkiehappy: Oh, and since only one of the four from the list in the latest blog answered, I'll only be adding him to the (already absurdly long) Bonus Chapter. So there's that.

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Bonus Chapter #2 (pt. 1): Engagement

Note: There will be links to music to help enhance the experience. Sadly, they're all YouTube clips, so I apologize for those of you who are unable to see them due to some technical difficulties.

"On with the chapter!"

Vinyl and Enigma slowly entered the town hall and looked around, unable to keep their jaws from dropping in surprise. The whole building was decorated rather festively, and there was already a fair number of guests that had already arrived.

Their stage had been moved into the hall, set against the wall opposite the door. On it was Vinyl’s DJ stand, with a green-and-yellow maned mare sitting behind it. She was grinning rather broadly, easily manipulating the records with her wings.

Enigma smiled, shaking his head at the sight. “Still too reliant on Glaze, huh?”

The white mare at his side blinked, looking at him in confusion. “You say something?”

He just walked forward, making sure she couldn’t see the nervous look on his face. “Nope.” He glanced back at her, making sure she was following. Of course, in this moment of inattention, he bumped into somepony. He grimaced, quickly turning to the brown stallion. “I’m so sorry... Lyrical?”

Vinyl stepped up next to her fiancé, smiling kindly at the other unicorn. “‘Sup, dude? Your job going well?” She knew that her fiancé was probably wondering if the other pony was an illusion, so she decided that acknowledging the fact that she could see him, too, would help.

Lyrical smiled at the couple, glad to see them. “What’s up, guys? The job’s going good, actually.” Lyrical looks at the DJ’s turntables and spots a pegasus with creamy, yellow fur, and electric lime green manecut similar to Vinyl’s, but a different color. “Hm. Never seen that DJ before.”

Vinyl giggled, draping a foreleg over her friend's shoulders. “That’s Glaze, the only pegasus I know who can DJ!” She paused, placing a hoof on her chin. “Well, aside from ‘Shy. Where is she, anyways?” She glanced around, curious.

Enigma's eyes widened momentarily before he pointed off in a random direction. “Look, a moose!”

The disc jockey turned, confused, to find herself looking at a moose. She waved, a lazy smile on her lips. “‘Sup, Winks?”

The antlered guest briefly waved before going back to his one-sided conversation with a gray squirrel.

“Oh sweet, a moose!” Lyrical said, clearly distracted. “Where was I? Oh yeah! I completely forgot why I was invited here, but then I was all like, ‘Screw it, lets go!’ and stuff.” Then, he felt it. A cold chill going down his spine, his heart racing, and time seemed to slow down in his eyes. He heard a noise. A noise he had heard once before. A noise that was... noisy. Just then, Lyrical’s eyes shot open “A griffon...”

A taloned claw draped over his shoulders, a familiar voice whispering in his ear. “You don’t remember my name, lover-colt? I’m hurt.” She turned his head toward him, a predatory look in her eyes. “Why don’t you kiss the pain away?”

Enigma and Vinyl could only stare in surprise, watching as the griffon attempted to kiss their friend.

Lyrical, shocked and confused, instantly did what he would usually do. He levitated Gilda away from him, stopping her mere inches from his face. Red faced, he backed away slowly. “Bad griffon! Bad!”

She scowled at him, forelegs crossed in annoyance. “You know what? I’m tired playing this silly little game.” She flicked his horn, allowing her to be free of his magical aura.

Lyrical gasped, his face turning red. “Hey! Don’t flick a unicorn there!” Lyrical was embarrassed. You’re never supposed to flick a unicorn there without his/her permission!

She ignored him, going into a full-blown rant. “I’ve tried to be patient - two and a half years! But no, you have to keep acting like you don’t find this-” she turned sideways, giving a seductive shake of her rump, “- sexy.”

The feminine stallion chose that time to speak up. “To be fair, you're more intimidating than attractive.”

She rounded on him, growling angrily. “Oh, can it, dweeb! I'm talking to my Destined, here!”

The brown unicorn had to admit that he liked a mare with attitude, and boy did Gilda have an attitude. “Dat flank- I mean- Gilda, chill!”

“No!” She pulled him close, holding him close by the scruff of his neck. “I will not chill! You are my Destined -the one I'm going to wed- and I want to...” She trailed off, finally recognizing what he’d said earlier. “... did I hurt your horn?” She smirked, tilting his head down, “Let me make it feel better.” With that, she placed a gentle kiss on the tip of his horn.

Enigma leaned closer to his fiancé, confused. “What is the point of this?”

She leaned over as well, whispering in his ear. When she finally pulled away, the pegasus had a dumbfounded look on his face. “Huh... you learn something new every day...”

Lyrical, clearly in a state of shock and, shall we say, ‘happiness’, wiggled. He then snapped back into focus, escaping the seductive griffon’s grip. “No! No! Not here, not there, not on the moon, not in a bedroom, not in your father’s kingdom, not ever! There are colts and fillies here for Fausts’ sake!”

Lyrical chilled out, breathed calmly and slowly. “Okay, so, why are you here, Gilda? Here for royal business or something?”

The griffon smiled, turning from him and teasing him by bringing her tail across his nose. “You could say that.” She pointed at the white unicorn, suddenly serious. “You, pony.”

Vinyl grinned, nodding her head. “Correct on the first try, G!”

Gilda stared at her in confusion for a few seconds before recovering. “I want to do a rap battle.” She glanced over at Lyrical, smirking a little. “I win, then lover-colt has to finally give me that kiss. I lose...” She hesitated, clearly uncomfortable. “... I lose, and I'll do whatever he wants me to. Even... leave him alone...”

The disk jockey was shocked. This, quite literally, came out of nowhere for her. She turned to the other unicorn, wondering if he was alright with this.

Lyrical bit his tongue. Though he was having trouble deciding which of his two crushes he would like to ask out, he didn’t want Gilda to leave all depressed and such. So, he decided to be a grown stallion and do the unthinkable. Of course, he’d have to do it after the battle. “Hmm... fine. I agree.”

The griffon sighed, flaring her wings as if to leave. “I knew you wouldn’t-” She froze, slowly turning to look at the unicorn she’d fell for so long ago. “... W-what? I-I mean, of course you do!” She quickly grinned, going back into her brazen attitude. She grabbed his chin, looking at him with bedroom eyes. “And when I win, I’m gonna show you just what you’ve been missing out on.”

“Yeah, sure fine,” Lyrical said, sighing. “Let’s just get this over with.”

The burgundy stallion returned with a couple headsets tucked under his wings, offering one to each of the contenders. Gilda grabbed hers, putting it on with one talon and moving towards the stage, teasingly shaking her rump at the brown unicorn to fluster him.

Lyrical fitted the headphones comfortably around his head. Satisfied with the bass and volume, he gave Glaze a hoofs up. The canary-yellow pegasus just looked at him in confusion before going back to working on a mix. The unicorn looked at Gilda, who just shook her bum in front of him, flustering him. “Hmmm... You ready, Gilda?”

She turned and smirked, nodding eagerly. “Get ready to lose, my Destined.”

Then the music began. Glaze beamed brightly, raising her head and shouting out to the crowd.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

LYRICAL

VS.

GILDA

BEGIN!

Listen Gilda, you best bring your hardcore skills,
‘Cause when you step up to me, you’ll go home with crushed feels.
The probability of me goin’ with you, is currently at zero.
I’m not your lover, so don’t call me your savior, your hero!
I’ll leave you cooked up, fried and ready to serve,
I suggest you find a new colt, dig him out like a worm.
I’m sorry if I’m a bit firm with my rhymes, stop wasting my time,
Look to the sky, I’ll never go with you, never answer your cries.

You’re gonna be ruing those words you just spat.
I’ll get my guards to bring you to me in ten seconds flat.
So what, you think Pinkie is a better choice than I?
I bet you just want to have a taste of her Pie!
Why can’t you just accept that I’m the one for you?
Even E can see it, and he can’t get a clue! (HEY!)
Trust me, I’ll get you to give me what’s due, ya prude.
Hey! Are you even paying attention to me, dude?

Yea, I’m paying attention, but Gilda, let me teach you a lesson.
Don’t be messin’ with who I love, it’s hard to do a confession.
I don’t consider you less than the party animal herself.
But keep being persistent, I’ll make your life a living hell!
Well, I’ll be honest, I made myself a promise before this rap battle,
I’ll tell ya later, cause It’s making my brain rattle.
Not to be cocky, but you’ll need an army of lyrics to take me down.
Just leave now, I’m not your prince. Find another to fit the crown.

Oh, so you want to be like that? Fine, then!
But you’re not getting any mercy when I take the win!
I’ll leave you wanting so badly you’ll become my sub,
Begging for my attention, or even just a little rub!
Call me mistress even as I serve your stupid flank
I have a paddle back home that’s going to spank
Yo plot. You feeling what I got, or worse?
You’ll be buckin’ lucky that I let you be my first!

The music suddenly screeched to a halt, all eyes on the griffon. She started to sweat, realizing what she just said. “... I- I didn’t...” She growled, glaring out at the crowd. “Forget you heard that!” She stormed backstage, leaving an awkward silence in her wake.

WHO WON? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Lyrical went silent after Gilda stormed away from the stage. He looked down at his hooves, sighing. “Faust, I’m an idiot.” He looked at the ponies who were looking at him. He stuck his hoof in the air, waving. “Drama.” Everypony understood, then went back into doing what they were doing before. Possibly nothing.

A hoof jabbed at his shoulder. Turning to look at the owner of said hoof, he saw a white face with a disapproving frown. The mare pointed at the curtains, not saying a word. Despite that, it was crystal clear what she meant.

Lyrical nodded silently, but, before he left, he faced Vinyl. “When you call us up, tell us exactly who the winner is. It doesn’t matter which of us won. I screwed up big, so I’m gonna fix it.” With that, Lyrical pulled his hood, casting a shadow over his eyes. He walked away from the stage, and went to go find Gilda.

The griffon in question was hiding behind a grand piano backstage, trying her hardest not to break into tears. “So my Destined doesn’t want me... it’s not the end of the world... I’ll just never marry. Celestia and Luna do it, so it’s easy, right?” She sighed, holding her head in her claws. “Who am I kidding. I’ll be miserable without him...”

Lyrical looked all around, but could not find Gilda. He started to feel bad for her, and he wanted to take back all those words he said, but what’s done is done. He was about to give up, until he heard sobbing coming from down a hallway. He went down said corridor, and saw a white and brown griffon sobbing behind a piano. He gulped as he went to her.

“You’re worthless...” She wiped her cheeks dry, only for more tears to replace them. You had one task... ‘win your true love’s heart’... and you failed... now you’re gonna be forced to marry bucking Blueblood!” Her talons worked ever faster, her anger showing through. “Stupid tears!”

Just then, Gilda felt a hoof tap her beak. She looked up to see a brown unicorn, his hood up over his head. Silver eyes stared out from the shadow it formed, an uncertainty in them.

“Yo.”

Back in the main room of the town hall, Vinyl turned to Enigma, releasing a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “... Well. That was unexpected.” She trotted up to the turntables, smiling brightly at the current DJ. “Great job, Glaze! I see you still have your amazing talent.”

The yellow pegasus grinned back, pushing her neon-green shades back up. “No problem, P0N-3. It’s the least I can do!”

“There’s one thing I don’t understand, though.” The dark red pegasus stepped forward, narrowing his eyes slightly. “Why do you always autotune your voice?” Of course, he knew the answer. He just wanted her to let go of her crutch.

Her jaw popped open in shock, a small squeak coming out. Quickly, she cleared her throat, giving a shaky smile. “Oh, n-no reason. I just think it s-sounds better this way.”

Enigma facehoofed, groaning softly. I guess she just isn’t ready to-

“Hey ‘Shy, what’re you doing on the stage?” Came a voice out from the audience at the front.

All three of them turned to the source of the voice, a cinnamon-colored unicorn. For some reason, he had three swords strapped across his back, each one catching the glare of the spotlight.

The pony behind the turntables gulped softly, clearly nervous. “W-who are you talking to? I’m not this ‘Shy’ pony.” She extended a hoof, trying to deflect the words. “My name’s Glaze. And you are?”

The pony looked a bit amused at her comment. “Don’t be silly, ‘Shy, I’m your big bro, Cinnamon. And when did you give yourself the name of the doll I gave you?”

The couple between the supposed-siblings looked between the two, completely confused. The white mare lifted her shades, looking at the other unicorn with a bemused expression. “I don’t know who you are, Cinn, but this is my friend, and I say I know her very well. She’s Glaze, and-”

Cinnamon’s eye twitched when he heard that nickname. He really hated ponies giving it to him since that one time. “Don’t call me that.”

She quirked an eyebrow, staring at him. “Why, bro? Is it because you’re as ugly as it?” She giggled, shaking her head. “Sorry, bad joke. You’re not ugly.” She glanced at the swords on his back, confusion on her face. “Kinda wondering why you have-”

“You named your persona after a doll?”

The effeminate stallion held a hoof to his mouth, trying his best not to laugh. The other pegasus was frowning softly, ducking down as if she were trying to hide behind something that used to be there. “Don’t laugh...” She turned to the mysterious stallion, her lip quivering. “P-please, Cinnamon...”

Vinyl looked at the two of them, surprised and slightly annoyed at being interrupted. She leaned close to Glaze, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. Without warning, she reached out with her magic and swiped the neon-green shades off. Magenta eyes looked at the pegasus.

Teal tear-filled eyes looked back.

The neon glasses fell onto the turntable with a clatter, the white unicorn too stunned to focus her magic. The needle slid off the record with a loud scratch, drawing the attention of everypony there. “... ‘Shy?”

Fluttershy -for that was indeed who it was- glanced at each of them, then at the large crowd. Every single one of them knew her secret now. “I...” Her voice caught in her throat and, before anyone could say anything, she ran off, crying. Vinyl, feeling awful about this, chased after her, trying to make it right.

Cinnamon likely didn’t know what to think of this, much less of what to do when his vision was filled with burgundy fur and maroon eyes. “Good going. Now she likely feels as though she can’t show her face in public again. You happy?”

The brown unicorn gave back a stare to the effeminate pegasus. “Me? I was saying hi to my sister. Just who do you think you are to accuse me of anything?”

“I’m someone she confides in.” He gestured to the crowd. “She told me that she DJ’s to bring smiles to others’ faces. She doesn’t want recognition; to her, the happiness of others is enough. Not to mention her stage fright! But you,” he poked a hoof into the other stallion’s chest, growling. “couldn’t just call her Glaze when she was clearly imploring you to do so!” He shook his head, grumbling. “And ponies call me dense...”

The stallion started glaring daggers at the ‘mare’ who was clearly calling him a bad brother. “I dare you.”

Enigma blinked, momentarily forgetting his ire in newfound confusion. “What?”

The unicorn’s horn started to glow, and the aura extended out into the air to form a sword, which was now threateningly close to the other pony’s neck. “I dare you to call me a bad brother again. I lived and grew with her for years and I always supported her, always cared for her! I was always there when she needed me. So if you really think I don’t care for my little sister, then say it right in front of my face, filly.” He said the last few words while pushing the magic blade closer to the ‘mare’s’ neck, just touching the skin through burgundy fur.

Now, Enigma was completely calm throughout the whole soliloquy, up until he heard ‘filly’. At that, it was as if a switch flipped in his head. His usually bright maroon eyes gained a fierce appearance, his wings extending in anger. He sat there for a moment, just looking at the pony in front of him. Then a smirk appeared on his lips, one of his hindlegs kicking the turntables, causing the needle to fall. “Not.” He reached back, sliding off his saddlebags, which hit the wood stage and caused it to crunch under its weight. He pulled a wooden sword - a bokuto - out from one of his saddlebags and cracked his neck, never taking his gaze off the unicorn. “A.”

Then he vanished.

Cinnamon looked surprised to see the ‘mare’ suddenly disappear out of his line of sight. He quickly turn looking at his surroundings, until he heard the ruffle of wings coming from above him. He only had time to look up to see the dark red pegasus dive bombing directly at him.

“MARE!” He brought his bokuto down, hitting the unicorn across the face and through the stage underneath him. His eyes gleamed momentarily, quickly going into the theta-wave state like he’d been taught to do. “Get it BUCKING RIGHT!” He stared down into the hole, wanting to be absolutely sure that he wouldn’t be caught off-guard.

Suddenly, a trio of air blades flew out of the hole. Enigma, almost caught by surprise, let his instincts take over and was able to dodge each of them as they came at him. The air blades passed through a section of the ceiling, forming what appeared to be a triangle.

Enigma chuckled, keeping his gaze on the hole. “Yer kiddin’, right? Ya couldn’t hit th’ broadside of a barn with lousy aimin’ like that!” He covered his mouth, quickly realizing that he’d slipped into his natural country accent on accident.

Nothing happened for a moment. Above him, three cuts appeared in the ceiling, making a section of the roof fall down. Having taken him by surprise, it landed on top of the pegasus, causing him to lose his breath.

“Is that the best you got?” A voice came from the hole. From it the unicorn rose back to the stage without a problem, a trail of blood was visible coming out from his head. The swords were out of their sheaths, two of them held in each forehoof, while the third one was in his mouth. “‘Cause I didn’t even feel that.”

He stared up at Cinnamon, confusion clear on his face. “Who are you, Zoro?” He grunted and stood up, bringing the section of ceiling, easily five times his size, with him. He could swear that he heard someone in the audience complain about just getting the town hall repaired. He flung the piece of architecture out of the building through the open front doors and turned back to the unicorn, standing stoically. “You think you’re so tough?”

The unicorn looked back at him, the rage still present in his eyes. “Want to find out?” He lowered his stance, preparing to counter an attack from his opponent. “Come and try me.”

Enigma tensed his muscles, ready to exploit any opening the unicorn gave. He flared his wings and launched himself straight towards the unicorn, who in turn started to swing his swords to block his attack.

Just when the two stallions were mere meters from each other, a figure appeared between them, raising a pair of shimmering cello bows, stopping the ponies right in their tracks. The air currents caused by the attacks rushed past the turntables, knocking the needle off the record.

“Boys! Always so violent and stupid.” Octavia said before pushing against the swords, sending both rivals away from each other. Enigma stumbled a bit from the sudden push, while the unicorn was barely even fazed.

“Who the hay are you, and why did you stop me from crushing that ma-” He stopped suddenly, remembering what the other pony said. “stallion? He challenged me and he deserves to taste my blades.”

Enigma shook his head, muttering to himself. “I so would’ve won... weapon or not...” He flinched at the pointed look the gray mare gave him.

She turned back to the brown unicorn, looking him straight in the eye. “He happens to be my friend, and the fiancé of my best friend. So I politely request that you forget whatever happened and leave him alone.”

“No. He asked for it the moment he hit me with that stick, so unless he beats me, or somepony else beats me in his name, I will not forgive him.” Cinnamon said, puffing steam out of his nostrils as he glared to the mentioned stallion.

Enigma pulled on the sides of his face and stuck his tongue out at the other stallion, clearly taunting him.

Octavia groaned at the stallion’s stubbornness, not noticing her friend’s actions. I hate his kind, always going with outdated codes of honor. She sighed softly before addressing the unicorn again. “I’ll fight for him. He has more important matters to attend to.”

The pegasus was about to complain to her, wanting to really teach the pony a lesson. A hoof on his shoulder stopped him. He looked back at the owner, his beloved fiance, who was giving him a pleading look.

He quietly sighed, unable to argue with her. “I’ll do it for you Vi.” She gave a small smile in return, glad that he wasn’t in any more danger. He turn back to the other stallion, giving him an even look despite the glare he received. “For the sake of my love, I hoof this fight over to Tavi.”

The sophisticated mare had to fight to keep herself from facehoofing at the nickname. It’s better than “Octy,” at least. “If I win, you will forgive the transgression of my best friend's fiancé, as well as apologize to the owner of this place for making a new skylight in Town Hall.” Octavia said, her gaze never leaving the unicorn’s.

“And if I win, he owes me an apology for ever thinking of me as a bad brother to ‘Shy.” He stopped for a moment, eyeing the mare in front of him a bit before smirking. “And I get to have dinner with you tomorrow.”

Octavia blinked, taken aback by the sudden request. She quickly regained her composure, nodding stoically. “Fine, but don’t think you’re going to win.”

“Okay. So this is fair, here are the rules for this fight: no magic, no tricks, no backing out. We go all out against each other in a fair fight of skill and strength until one of us is no longer able to fight back...” The unicorn said before walking towards the front door. “I think outside is the best place for us to fight.” He said, giving a deep glare to Enigma as he passed by him.

He stuck his tongue out at him once more, annoyed by his attitude.

Octavia sighed to herself, not really wanting to deal with something like this right now. She trotted towards the door, head held high, following the unicorn while maintaining some degree of dignity.

A white hoof stopped her. “Octavia, send him to the hospital for me.” Vinyl smirked a little, wanting to see him pay.

Octavia smiled to her friend, a bit amused by the comment. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he feels sorry for attacking your fiancé, and make sure he atones for his sins.” She gives a reassuring smile, placing her own hoof over the unicorn’s. Vinyl grinned, trying her best to hold back her laughter. The gray mare stared at her blankly, confused. “What’s so funny?”

“N-nothing.” The disk jockey snickered, shaking her head, almost unable to hold her laughter back. “G-go on, don’t leave your coltfriend waiting~” The cellist rolled her eyes, disregarding the jab. She quickly walked outside, leaving the room rather silent after such a serious situation.

Vinyl trotted back to her turntables, thinking about the cinnamon-colored stallion - or, more specifically, the swords on his back. “I wonder...” She started the music back up, the gears in her head turning as a small smile started to form on her lips.

Vinyl and Enigma decided to let the playlist just run for a bit, sitting down at a table near the front door. Maybe they wanted to see the fight up close, but they didn’t really have a good viewing angle. It seemed as though they’d taken the fight away from prying eyes.

A stallion was sitting at a table, his head held in his hooves. He appeared to be in deep thought. He looked outside to see a family of earth ponies slowly walk through the street. At a glance, he saw that they weren’t the most fortunate family there was. Saying that they were in rags was an understatement. He ran through the door, calling them down. “Here, take this. Celestia knows you need it more than I do.” He gave them a bag filled to the brim with bits before smiling at them. “Take care of your family. They need you.” He walked back in without telling them his name. He didn’t want any recognition. The smiles of the poor family was enough to fill him with glee. He sat down again with a smile. He didn’t notice that he was sitting near the couple.

Enigma glanced over, having seen the act of generosity. “Hey, that was a nice thing you did, there, man...” He gave him a small smile.

Moonfeather jumped up, gasping. He calmed down quickly, but blushed in embarrassment. “Uh... I don’t really need thanks... Really, I didn’t even know you were watching me. I’m usually really secretive about doing that kind of thing...” Moonfeather stood up, walking over to Enigma. He stretched his hoof out to him. “I’m Moonfeather... and you are?” He tilted his head.

The burgundy pegasus chuckled, taking the offered hoof and shaking it. “Enigma.” He wrapped a wing around the white unicorn next to him, catching her attention. “This is Vinyl Scratch. You probably know her as DJ P0N-3, though.”

The mare rolled her magenta eyes, smiling and nodding at the other unicorn. “Nice to meet you, dude.” She put a hoof to her chin, thinking a bit. “Can I call you ‘Moony’?”

Moonfeather smiled as Enigma introduced himself and Vinyl. “Nice to meet you, too!” After she asked if she could call him Moony, though, he stiffened. But he recovered quickly. “W-well, if you want to, I have no problem with it, Miss Scratch!” He looked around. “Not really much music here, is there? Do... do you have a piano or keyboard anywhere?” He gestured to his Cutie Mark - a piano - blowing his silky crimson mane out of his face.

Vinyl noticed how he stiffened when she called him “Moony.” A small, devious smile formed on her lips. This could be fun... “I think there’s one backstage, but I want to ask you something first.”

Moonfeather raised an eyebrow, although all that was visible was his eye widening. His eyebrows weren’t visible under his jet-black fur. “Sure, go ahead. What do you want to know?” He hoped she didn’t notice his tense moment. ‘Moony’ had been a childhood taunt for him. But Vinyl didn’t seem to be a pony that would use it in a mean way.

She turned and gave a discrete wink to Enigma before walking around the table, leaning close to him. Her soft breath could be felt against the fur of his ear. “Do you... find me attractive, Moony?” She couldn’t help but tease him, taking his tensing the wrong way.

Moonfeather blushed deeply. In all honesty, he did, but he glanced at Enigma. He wondered what would happen if he spoke the truth. Would the feminine pegasus hate him, or do even worse things? He heard rumors about a factory. Hopefully they were just rumors! “W-w-well, I-I-I-uh...” He quietly coughed, trying not to blush. “I do,” he admitted, tensed again. Her breathing in his ear didn’t help at all.

Vinyl giggled, playfully tapping his shoulder with a hoof. “Glad you think so. Sadly, I’m taken.” She walked back over to her fiance, putting a visible sway in her step. She gave him a little wink and pointed to the ring on her horn. “Engaged and everything. Sorry, dude.”

Were Moonfeather a pegasus, it would’ve looked like he was about to take off. He rubbed the back of his neck, unable to hide his disappointment. “Why are the good ones always taken?” He asked himself quietly. He slumped down in his seat, willing his metaphorical wings to fold. “S-so about the p-piano?” He glared at Enigma, although it was completely unintentional. Note to self: apologize later!

The feminine stallion recoiled at the glare, not expecting that at all. “It was a joke, man. Besides, someone like you? You’d probably find a nice mare without a problem. I hear Applejack’s not taken...” His voice trailed off and he motioned to the stage, where Vinyl’s equipment was set up. “The piano’s backstage.”

“S-sorry, Enigma, sir...” He didn’t want to tell about his multiple personalities, especially not during an engagement party. He stood up, sweating. “Thanks for the directions. And... thanks for the encouragement. Isn’t Applejack that mare at Sweet Apple Acres?”

The pegasus opened his mouth to respond. However, at that exact moment, a loud crash was heard from behind the curtains.

A head poked out from the middle of the dividing cloth, a distinctive polychromatic mane framing the face. “Nothing wrong here! Certainly didn’t mess up a trick, nor cause damage to a piano!” The head retreated back behind the curtains, and the sound of frantic shuffling could be heard.

Moonfeather jumped up, running to the backstage area. He looked at all of the damage. The wall had been broken through, leaving a lot of rubble. He was about to ask if the mare was okay, until he saw what happened to the piano. His eyes dilated to pinpricks, his whole body shaking. “What. The. Buck?!” He ran to the piano. It appeared to have been broken into many pieces. “How in the name of H-Tartarus could this have happened?!” He looked to the only pony there, the mare with the polychromatic mane and tail, a fire in his eyes. It was even worse than when Pinkie thought Applejack broke a Pinkie Promise. “You! You did this!” He marched to her, air coming from his nostrils almost comically. “Do you know what you’ve just done?!”

She stared at him, confused. “I damaged an instrument that wasn’t expensive. I don’t see what you’re getting so worked up over.” She picked up a piece of wood, flipping it in the air. “See? It’s balsa.”

Moonfeather’s crimson mane fell, covering his eyes. “You... don’t have... the slightest idea!” He levitated into the air, his eyes blood red. His black fur turned white. His mane and tail appeared to have caught on fire. “WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK OF DOING SOMETHING AS IDIOTIC AS THIS?! DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING IN THAT THICK SKULL OF YOURS?!” To emphasize it, he knocked on the side of her head, still seeming to be on fire.

“Hey!” She growled, smacking his hoof away. “I’m more intelligent than you, featherbrain! You’re getting worked up over a silly piano!” She huffed, shaking her head. “You don’t know how to properly treat a Wonderbolt, do you?”

Moonfeather took a deep breath. He returned to the ground, seemingly calm. “Look, I don’t know who you are... but pianos are actually valuable... and they’re important to me.” He gestured to his Cutie Mark, a Grand Piano. “And I don’t think a Wonderbolt would screw up so badly that they’d crash through a wall, and absolutely destroy a piano. Who are you, anyways?” He tried to remain calm, although he was seething with rage. Where are Vinyl and Enigma? he wondered.

She gaped at him in shock. “You mean you don’t know who I am?” She didn’t wait for an answer, taking to the air and striking a pose. “I’m Rainbow Dash, the best flyer ever!” She grinned, waiting for the awestruck response she was sure he’d give her.

Moonfeather stared at Rainbow Dash. “Best flyer, eh?” Then how did she crash? “Well... look, I’m sorry that I snapped... but I seriously need to know, why would you do that? I think you should apologize. You kinda crashed an Engagement Party in both contexts.” He blew his mane out of his face again.

“Well sorry for trying to avoid a flock of geese!” She rolled her eyes, marching over to the hole in the wall. “Didn’t expect to survive a crash like that, though. The town hall’s not very durable, it seems.”

“No... I mean apologize to Vinyl Scratch and Enigma. They should be coming in at any minute...” He sighed, holding a few pieces of the piano.

“We’re already here, dude.”

They turned to look at the couple who had just walked through the curtains, staring at the destruction around them. The mare was stunned, while the dark red stallion had a neutral expression on his face. “Well, glad to know that this is hidden from the rest of the guests.”

“Well... I guess we have a problem here. An impasse, if you would. Vinyl, Enigma, can you help us out here? We both think that we’re right...” He didn’t know how to settle it, but he gazed at the piano pieces again. “That is, if you don’t mind!”

Vinyl sighed, placing a hoof over her face. “Sounds like we’re about to have another rap battle...” Enigma nodded, walking back out to get the headsets for the ponies.

“Uh... What? Rap battle? Oh! I didn’t mean to impose... Um... I thought that those were staged and rehearsed when I saw them. I didn’t know that you actually did them on the spot.” He shifted uncomfortably.

Vinyl quirked an eyebrow at him, unamused. “Moony, there’s no way that most of the ponies could do a rehearsed rap battle with raw emotion behind them. Trust me, Tavi tried that when we did it, but she quickly resorted to ‘winging it’. After that, she actually did much better.”

Rainbow couldn’t help but laugh, hearing that name for him. “Y-your name’s Moony? What, did your parents hate you, or something?” She jabbed him in the side, giving him a playful grin.

Moonfeather blushed deeply. Then, Rainbow mentioned his parents. He trembled with rage. “... Mention parents...” he muttered quietly, only those two words intelligible. He had been abandoned at birth, so it was a sensitive topic, as well as the teasing name, ‘Moony.’ Doing both at once probably wasn’t a good idea on Rainbow’s part.

Soon her fiance came back with the headsets, and she levitated one over to him. “Here, put this on.”

Moonfeather grabbed the headset, putting it on, his mane covering his face. One of his other personalities was slowly creeping through. “Rules?” He growled, still trembling.

Vinyl blinked, surprised by the change as well as the question. “Never had to explain the rules before...” She cleared her throat, giving a sheepish smile. “Uh... no physical violence, two turns each, with eight lines per turn... I think that’s it?” She turned, watching as Rainbow put her own headset on.

“Fine. Rainbow. If I win, you don’t fly for a month. You will also repair the wall, and buy a new piano. I also want an apology. Deal?!” He demanded, moving his mane so his eyes were visible, a look of pure rage-much different than before-was on his face. It was almost as though he was a different stallion.

Her jaw dropped in shock, but she quickly recovered, staring daggers at him. “Fine. But if I win, you...” She trailed off, trying to think of something embarrassing for him. Suddenly, it hit her, a sly grin forming on her lips. “Have to walk around with a sign on your sides that says ‘I dream of kissing Applejack’s flank’ for a week!”

“Is that seriously the best you can do?’

She snickers, covering her mouth with a hoof. “Oh, there’s more! You’ll have to pay for the damages and ask Applejack out... while wearing the sign.” There’s no way AJ won’t kick his flank for that!

“Deal.” He spat on his hoof before holding it out to the cyan pegasus.

She spat on her hoof as well and smacked his hoof, grinning slyly.

Soon enough, the two were out on the partially-destroyed stage, facing each other. Vinyl sat behind her turntables, preparing the music for their rap battle.

“Let’s get this over with, wanna-be. Can’t wait to see you grounded!”

Rainbow sneered, cocky as ever. “You’re going down, Moony. I’ll see you in the hospital.”

Before he could question what she meant by that, the music started playing, and the white unicorn shouted out to the crowd.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

MOONFEATHER

VS.

RAINBOW DASH

BEGIN!

So here we have the infamous Rainbow Dash
Don’t you stop to think if what you do is just brash?
Twilight can barely stand your string of boasts
But then again, to her, you’ll all just be ghosts!
Now, please, I don’t really mean to be bold
But isn’t all your bragging gettin’ a little bit old?
Take it from me, there’s many things that you lack
I’d be willing to bet you can’t even make a good come-back!

Who is this loser coming up against the Dash?
He’d better look out, coming in with that trash!
I mean, just look at him! He’s a walking wastebasket,
With almost no way for me to mess him up, yet
I never back down from a challenge like this.
So just shut up while I give you my two bits
Worth of whoop-flank I’m uncanning for you.
I guess you’re just too young to see what’s true!

Wait just a minute, I don’t think that’s what you meant
In a rap battle, you shouldn’t really compliment
Me! All those ponies out there are just watching a bore
With your simple raps, I just can’t see what they adore
Making jokes about my younger age?
Please, you’re fumbling! Just trying to make me rage!
Why don’t you learn? Face it! I’m Equestria’s only true hero!
Now leave, Rainbow Crash, before I divide you by zero!

Now who said that being a mess was good, Feather?
You’re messed up in the head and under the weather.
Making you rage is the point of a rap battle.
What’s wrong, you baby, you lost your rattle?
I’m a star athlete, and the newest Wonderbolt!
I doubt you can claim something like that, colt.
Why don’t you write down your sorrows - key in a tune?
It’s probably easy for you, ya wanna-be emo moon!

WHO WON? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF THE OC’S!

The athletic pony chuckled, holding a hoof out to the unicorn. “So, do you feel better, Feathers?”

Moonfeather was panting, trying to keep calm. “Better? Heh, I feel great!” He had let out a lot of steam. “But, you know... When you asked about the nickname ‘Moony,’ and asked if my parents hated me... that really hit deep. I was actually abandoned at birth...” His voice cracked as he remembered. “I... I just don’t...” He trailed off, hiding his face behind his mane. He felt tears roll down his cheeks.

Rainbow stared at him in shock. “I... I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

Moonfeather shook his head. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t know.” He smiled at her through his tears. “Now, about Applejack... even if I win, I think I’ll ask her out anyways,” he said, sticking his tongue out.

The pegasus rolled her eyes, smiling playfully. “Whatever, Feathers. You’ll still have to ask her in that sign if I win, though.”

“Come on. Why don’t we get something to eat? I’d like to get to know you. ‘Best Flier’ comes with paparazzi, you know. I’ll be the first.” He motioned towards one of the tables. “My treat for yelling at you like I did.”

Rainbow put a hoof to her chin, pretending to mull over that idea. “Hmm... sure. I’d like that.” She started over to the table, smirking at him over her shoulder. “Don’t get any ideas, though. I have a coltfriend.”

He laughed. “Oh, don’t worry about that. I have plans.” He looked over his shoulder at Vinyl and Enigma. “Congratulations, you two!”

They waved, smiling calmly, though Vinyl was the only one to speak. “Thanks, Moony. Good luck with AJ!” She leaned into Enigma, smiling softly.

A tall, white pegasus descended behind the pair, his crimson eyes locked on Vinyl.

The said mare turned, noticing the stallion. She smiled, waving a hoof. “Hey! What’s up, dude?”

“Not much, Vi, mostly just my stupid job. Well, that and Pinkie inviting me to every party she throws. So, what’s this party for? They all start to blend together after a while. I’m betting it’s something like a ‘Gummy-Still-Doesn’t-Have-Teeth Party,’ what about you guys?”

Vinyl coughed into her hoof, trying to hide a smirk. “Actually, dude, it’s an engagement party. Enigma and I just got engaged.”

The stallion laughed at this, smacking Enigma on the back. “Nice one, Vi, but I don’t think that’s it. No offense, but I don’t think E’d get the hint if you shouted ‘I love you and want to have your foals!’ in his ear. It’s a nice thought, though.”

The couple stared at each other, feeling a little uncomfortable. The dark red pegasus chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s true... we’ve actually been dating for quite a while, now...”

“Commitment to the joke, nice. It’s really inspiring.”

Vinyl sighed, pulling her mane to the side and revealing the golden ring on her horn. “It’s seriously not a joke, Capp.”

“Well, excuse me for choosing to believe the more likely option. I mean, you guys are adorable together, and I’m really happy that the ship ‘came in,’ so to speak, but it didn’t seem like either of you would ever get the nerve to tell the other of your feelings,” Capp said, running a hoof through his mane.

They blushed, and the pegasus wrapped his wing around his fiancée. “Well, she almost didn’t. I can’t believe I was so blind... I guess that her first reaction to me was a little more influential than I thought.”

“Yeah, don’t care anymore,” Capp said, waving a hoof dismissively at Enigma. “Yo, Pinkie,” he called into the distance, “you owe me fifteen bits!”

“Oki doki, Loki!” came the reply from a box of dandelions (of all places).

“Anyhoof,” he said, turning back to the couple, “I need to get over to that buffet. I smell roses!” He then flew past Roseluck, knocking her over to get to the roses on the table.

The couple stared at this scene, baffled. Vinyl turned to her stallion, an eyebrow quirked. “...he’s still better at social interactions than you were, E.” She giggled, taking the playful hoof to her shoulder.

Author's Note

Because I lack the self-control to keep myself from posting this finished section. :rainbowlaugh: The next one won't be out for a while, though, as there's still that one person who needs to finish his part for it. :twilightsmile:

If you're looking for the description of who the OC's belong to, you're gonna have to wait for the last part of this chapter. :scootangel: And yeah, Vinyl's that much of a tease. :derpytongue2:

So, how many references can you count? :raritywink: Also, don't forget to vote!~

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Bonus Chapter #2 (pt. 2): Entertainment

Again, there will be links to songs to help improve the experience. And, again, apologies to those who can’t view the YouTube clips. :twilightblush:

“Bored now! On with the chapter!~”

For a small town, Ponyville certainly seemed to endure a lot of hubbub. Right now, for instance. Over a hill, just bordering on the “country” side of town, a rising tiff was getting to be clearly audible.

“This is the best thing that’s ever happened to you!”

“Correction: the worst possible thing, and it’s never gonna happen if I can help it.”

“Is that so?” The voice seemed to be nearly snarling now. “Well let me tell you something, colt. You can’t help it. I always get what I want. Dangit, it’s my job to get what I want. And what I want is your music. You got talent, kid! Talent I could really work with. But without me you’re never gonna amount to anything. I’ll make sure of that...” He added the last part in an undertone.

The first and younger voice was silent for a few moments. Then it spoke.

“You want my music, Filthy Rich? You’re gonna get it. Rap battle. Let’s go. You win, you got the rights to every song I’ve ever mixed or written. I win, you get the hay outta my life. Oh, and you can also give me a jar of Zap Apple jam. That sounds good. Yeah, let’s do that.”

He mused for a few seconds. Filthy seemed about to say something, but the colt cut him off. “Oh, and my name's not ‘colt’.” He grinned.

“It’s DJ.”

A grey pegasus stood in front of the town hall with a confused expression. He heard loud music coming from inside the building and saw flashing lights from the windows. He looked at the invitation Fluttershy had given him, "I don’t understand, I thought the engagement party was in Town Hall today, not some rave." Still confused, he trotted up to the door and peeked inside.

At that exact moment, the music was turned down and the lights came up. Vinyl brought a microphone up to her mouth, grinning widely. "'Sup, everypony!" There was a cough off to the side, coming from a bemused baby dragon. "Sorry, everyone. This next one comes to us from a famous musician overseas, and has quickly risen up the charts. Enjoy!"

She lowered the needle, starting a pop song. She went off the stage, sighing and relaxing as soon as she felt no one was watching.

"Hey, what are you doing out here?"

Night traced his gaze over to where the voice was coming from, he saw a red pegasus waving his way. He closed the doors behind him and walked up to the red pegasus. "Hey... a friend of mine gave me this invitation to an engagement party." Night handed the invitation to the mysterious pegasus.

He took the invitation and looked at it, raising an eyebrow. “I see.” He held out a hoof, smiling kindly. “My name’s Enigma. I take it yours is ‘Night Flyer’?” He motioned to the name on the letter, chuckling playfully.

Night shook his hoof. "Enigma? Cool name. By the way, have you seen a mare? Yellow pegasus, bright pink mane, butterflies as her cutie mark?"

The burgundy pegasus winced, recalling what had happened. “Yes, but... I’m not sure she’s available, right now... she, uh...” He cleared his throat, sheepishly smiling. “Never mind that. Have you met my fiancée, Vinyl, yet?” He motioned towards the white mare that was drinking lemonade through a straw, and appeared to be distracted by something.

"Fiancée? Well congratulation!" Night lifted him up in the air and gave him a big bear hug. Realizing what he's doing he landed and stepped back a bit. "Sorry about that... Pinkie's starting to rub off on me."

Enigma chuckled, shaking his head a bit. "She has a way of doing that... well, once you get used to her, of course." He tapped his chin with a hoof, recalling something. "Did you know that I fainted when I first met her? I mean, after getting a huge dose of her randomness, I mean." He rubbed the back of his head, blushing brightly and moving towards the white unicorn.

"Ha! Well try living and working with her everyday! Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's not."

He turned to look at the gray pegasus, surprised. “You live with her?” He scratched his head, thinking a bit. “I guess it’s been sometime since I’ve been to Sugarcube Corner...”

Vinyl finally noticed them when they were about two yards away. She stood up, smiling brightly and levitating her lemonade with her. “Hey, E. Who’s this dude?” She sipped her drink, looking the stallion up and down, curious.

"Hi there Vinyl, my name is Night, I'm your fiance's long lost brother from a mysterious planet called Earth.” He held out a hoof in front of her. "Nice to meet you." He smiled.

Vinyl burst out laughing, accidentally spitting out a little of her tart drink as she did so. “Oh, Luna! That’s a good one, dude!” She looked at her fiance, rolling her eyes. “Like I’m really supposed to believe he’s from Earth.”

Enigma just stared at the other pegasus, unsure of how to respond to what he’d said.

Night wrapped a hoof around Enigma's neck. "Come on, Enigma, remember when our mother used to take us to the beach? You picked up sea shells while I pretended that I was a shark to scare all the other colts and fillies"

The white unicorn's smile slowly faded into a frown. "Seriously, dude? Now I know it's a joke. There are no pegasi on Earth, and the dominant species aren't ponies."

Enigma just stared at her, an eyebrow quirked. "Have you been hanging out with Heartstrings, Vi?"

She opened her mouth to reply to this, but stopped, putting a hoof to her chin. "That's right, only a few ponies know of it..." She shook her head, disregarding her train of thought. "Look, the point is, the joke's not funny anymore. So please don't continue it; it'll only make it irritating."

"Alright, I'll stop." Night held his hoof once again, "But with all seriousness, it's nice to meet you."

She nodded, accepting the hoof with a small shake. "Same, now that you aren't making a poorly-planned joke." Her tone sounded serious, but her playful smile showed she was teasing him. "So, I take it you just arrived?"

"Ya, I was confused at first by the music and such, so the famous DJ is getting married? Never thought I'd see the day. Congratulations!"

The happy couple looked into each other's eyes, smiling softly. She leaned over and nuzzled her pegasus' neck, blushing a little. "Thanks, and I completely understand. Hay, a few years ago I thought the same way!"

Enigma smiled, gently wrapping his wing around her and pulling her close. "And I thought my love was going to stay unrequited." He teasingly nibbled her ear, enjoying her surprised gasp. "I'm glad we were wrong about that, though."

Night smiled at the happy couple and gasped in shock. "I almost forgot to give you this!" He threw a small smoke bomb onto the table revealing a small box.

The feminine stallion quickly wafted the smoke away, worried about accidentally breathing some in. As soon as it cleared, the duo stared at the box, confused. The disk jockey grabbed it in her magic, examining it closely before carefully opening it, making sure it pointed away from everypony.

Or, at least, she tried to. She frowned in concentration, her horn completely hidden by the sheer amount of light coming from her magic. Even so, she couldn't force it open. She finally gave up and put it back on the table, panting gently. "Dear Luna, what is this thing? Why can't I open it?!"

Night stood on the table with a smile. "I call it the ‘Enigma Box!’ See those gears on the side? The gear on the right has three groups of letters, "clo", "sha" and "or". The gear on the left has "gan", "ck" and "dow". You two answer my riddle by matching the letters up... simple right!?"

Vinyl looked at the box as if it were an alien lifeform. "I have no idea how to solve this, Night. I deal with electronics, not logic." She looked up at him, quirking an eyebrow. "Also, would you get down? Everypony behind me can see your junk."

The pegasus at her side had grabbed the box, smiling happily at the chance to solve something.

Night spoke, "Riddle me this! "I can be the sun, I can be the sand, I can be a bird. What am I?"

Enigma thought for a few seconds, looking at both sides of the box. Suddenly it came to him. “It’s a clock! The sun for a sundial, sand for an hourglass and a bird for a cuckoo!” He pressed “clo” and “ck”, grinning brightly.

Night jumped from torment when Enigma solved the first riddle. "Great! Onto the next one. Riddle me this! ‘I am a instrument that plays from the heart, what am I?’”

He just laughed, shaking his head. “Easy! The answer’s ‘organ’! It’s a musical instrument, as well as part of the body, like the heart!” He reached over to press the button but stopped, a sudden thought occurring to him. “I won’t release a being who’ll torture everyone here by solving this, will I?”

Night laughed and reassured him, "I promise nothing bad will happen, I'm saving that box for Pinkie." Night looked around the room to make sure the pink party mare wasn't listening. "Okay now, the third riddle is a bit difficult, you can change the word by flipping the switch to match the riddle. Riddle me this! ‘The poor has it, the rich needs it, if you eat it you die, what is it?’”

Enigma blinked, looking at the box, turning it back and forth, trying to figure out how the word ‘shadow’ would fit into that answer. Thinking about it, he considered the pegasus’s words and tried rearranging the letters of each switch, thinking that would help him solve it. After about ten minutes of silent thinking, he let out a groan, resting his head on the table. “I got nothing...”

Suddenly a thought occurred to him. “Wait...” He sat back up, looking at the cube as the pieces fell into place. ... the poor have nothing because they can’t afford anything... He turned the top of the box towards him, examining it closely. ... the rich need nothing because they can have all they want... He noticed a small seam, gently placing a hoof on the side of it. ... if you eat nothing, you will die of hunger...

A small smile formed on his lips. “It’s nothing...” He pulled on the opening, sure he was right. The box started to click and, after several seconds stopped. The top slowly opened, revealing a small purple vial inside it.

Curious, he picked it up, turning it to watch the liquid flow. “Thank you, but... what is it?”

"This, my friend, enhances your body, both physically and mentally, for 24 hours. Vinyl" Night threw another small smoke bomb on the table, revealing another box. "This one is for you, but open it on your wedding night,” he said with a wink.

She blushed brightly, taking the box and holding it to her chest, afraid she might accidentally lose it.

Enigma smiled, nodding to the other stallion. "Thanks, man." He carefully put it in his saddlebag, making sure that none of the items already inside would damage it. He was glad he has great spatial reasoning.

"No problem, there are a few minor side effects from the vial. One is you'll have a hangover, your wings will ache and you'll suffer from 'Alice in Wonderland Syndrome' for a short while once the potion wears off."

The pegasus just stared blankly at him for a few moments. "... I'll be careful about using it, then." He sheepishly smiled, holding a hoof out to the other stallion. "Thanks for the engagement present, Night."

"You're welcome! Also here." Night placed a small necklace with a pink bird onto Enigma's hoof. "You know Fluttershy?” The other stallion nodded. “Good, when you see her, can you please give this to her? Just say it's from me, and she'll know what it means."

“Uh... sure?” He looked back over at the stage, thinking a bit. “It’ll probably be awhile before that happens, though...”

"Alrighty... by the way, did you breathe in any smoke from the smoke bombs?"

They stared at him once more, the pegasus unamused and the unicorn just confused. She spoke up first. “No, E made sure to disperse it before that happened.” She put a hoof to her chin, thinking a bit. “Is there a reason you’re asking that?”

Night sighed in relief. "Good, I just mixed random chemicals in the smoke... if you would of inhaled it... make sure to avoid foods and drink plenty of orange juice."

Vinyl facehoofed, groaning softly. “You seriously just mixed random chemicals without thinking about what they were? I’m no chemist, and even I know that’s a foolish thing to do!” Enigma looked at her questioningly, wondering if she realized that she just implied she was stupid. Because she was definitely not.

"Don't worry, the chemicals aren't dangerous. I added chlorine, hydrofluoric acid, mercury, chilli sauce and some other things under the sink.”

The pegasus was suddenly very glad he didn’t touch the smoke with his wings. He cleared his throat, trying to think of a way to break it kindly to Night. “You realize that every single one of those substances is dangerous on its own, right?”

"Don't worry the smoke is safe to walk through, just don't breathe while you do." The grey pegasus scratched his mane in thought. "I'm trying to make a smoke bomb that's safe to breathe."

Enigma smiled, patting him on the back. “Don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll come to you. And, if worse comes to worse, you can always as Twilight for help, right?”

"Ya." He checked the time on a nearby clock. "I'm sorry, but I need to get back to work, Pinkie's probably wondering what’s taking me so long."

They smiled kindly, the white mare patting him on the foreleg. “Wouldn’t want her worrying too much about you, huh? Go on, dude. We won't keep you any longer.”

He blushed slightly and scratched his mane again. “Make sure you two come visit! Vinyl, the riddles on your box are much harder than Enigma's. Try not to throw it out a window - you have no idea how long it takes to make one.”

She sighed, her gaze falling. "Of course they are... the more difficult riddles go to the one who's no good at them..." She forced a natural smile on her face (something she's surprisingly good at) and nodded at Night. "Thanks, dude. I dunno what it is, but I'm sure it'll come in handy."

Night flashed his bedroom eyes at Vinyl. "Oh, it'll come in handy, alright, just go easy on him."

She blushed brightly, pushing him playfully with a hoof. “Go on, dude. I bet you wanna see Pinkie, right? Well don’t keep her waiting!”

Night blushed again and glanced at another direction. "That’s not the only reason."

Vinyl sighed, walking up next to him and wrapping a leg around him. “I know you have a crush on her, dude. I think everypony does. I can’t honestly say whether or not she feels the same way, but that’s just Pinks being Pinks.” She poked him in the chest with her other forehoof, a small smile on her face. “No one will know until they ask her. Am I right?”

"You're right!" Night gave Vinyl a playful nudge. "But, when do you think is the best time?"

Vinyl pulled away, shrugging a bit. “I’d say after the party, dude. She did throw this for us, after all.”

"Alright" Night glanced at the clock again "Well, time for me to go, bye!"

“See ya, dude. Have a good...” She glanced at the clock as well. “Afternoon. Huh, time sure flies when you’re having fun.”

"Ha! Make sure Fluttershy gets that necklace and visit us sometimes alright?"

"Sure thing." She turned away, starting to go back to the stage as the playlist was ending. "Later!"

"Bye!" Night closed the doors behind him as he trotted back to Sugarcube Corner.

Vinyl turned to her love, an eyebrow quirked in confusion. “He does realize that Pinkie’s at this party, doesn’t he?” He just shrugged in response.

Suddenly, a hearty slap came down on his back, knocking the air out of the poor stallion. “Ahoy, Enigma! Congratulations on finally gettin’ yer lass!”

The burgundy pegasus groaned from the pain of being hit like that. He turned around to look at the source of the somehow-familiar voice. His eyes widened in shock as he saw the black, dragon-winged unicorn. “B-b-b-but that was just a dream! How can YOU be here, Captain Roger?”

“Call me Jolly for the evening. And didn’t ye know? Ye can only dream of faces ye have seen before! We met shortly after yer arrival in Ponyville, but ye rushed off before I could talk to ya properly.” He chuckled, motioning to the room around them. “And ye really expected to have a party organized by Pinkie Pie and not see the entire town invited? ”

Enigma put a hoof to his chin, thinking for a few seconds. “No, I suppose not, Jolly.” He smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Anyway, I’m very happy ye managed to get together with Vinyl. Ain’t no party like an engagement party, aye?” At that moment, a white unicorn entered the room, in color similar to the bride, except for his blue eyes. Jolly frowned, immediately recognizing the stallion. “Excuse me. I’ve gotta have a word with that guy. Hey! Armor!”

The Captain of the Guard turned his head and sighed in annoyance. “Well, look what the cat dragged in. Captain Roger, the navy-dropout. What do you want?”

“Ye know exactly what I want, Private Armor.”

“That’s Captain, now. Or, if you really want to be technical, Prince Armor.” He smiled benignly, even though his gaze was pointed.

“Ye know exactly well that ye only be prince because King Discord was overthrown by yer Aunt-in-law. But enough o’ that!” He stamped his hoof, scowling at the unicorn. “I want revenge! I challenge thee to a rap-battle!”

He stared at him for a few moments, mulling it over. “Well, I could never resist the chance to punish a criminal against the crown...” He smirked, eyes narrowing in contempt. “Bring it on.”

Vinyl sighed, motioning towards the stage. “Go ahead and get on stage. E will help you both get ready.” She trotted off, thinking out loud. “I wonder if I can make a mix with E’s ‘Pirates of the Maribbean’ soundtrack...”

The burgundy pegasus was already on stage, digging through the box of microphones and headsets. “Wow... Bebe really did a number on these... ah! Here we go!” He came back up with two wireless microphones in his mouth. “He’e ye go.”

Shining Armor took one in his magic, ignoring the small amount of spit on the base in favor of frowning at the pirate captain. “Are you ready to lose, Jolly?”

The pirate gave him the fiercest look he could muster with one eye.

But before he could answer, Vinyl appeared on the stage, her trademark grin on her face. She started the music, her magic quickly conjuring up a couple of her patented ‘Battle Zones’ around the two stallions. Thinking that they were ready, she raised her voice and a hoof, calling out to the crowd.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

JOL-

*ahem*

SORRY, CAPTAIN JOLLY ROGER

VS.

SHINING ARMOR!

BEGIN!

Shining Armor, Captain o’ the guard,
I guess ye can make somethin’ out o’ evr’y retard!
Be honest, ye know ye brain’s empty inside,
Go home and shed some o’ your ‘liquid pride’
Or throw ye away ye wife, if ye think ye’re so tuff,
Even Chrysalis fooled ye, and she lives with Fluffle Puff!
So if ye’re not too busy cleaning ye horn of MTC’S,
Say something yerself, I gotta head out to sea!

You know what? You can shove off, you scurvy dog.
You’re about as original as a fallen cedar log.
I’m smart; I have to be to become a Guard Captain.
As far as we know, you became one from nappin’!
Fluffle Puff? Now who the buck is that, Jolly?
You seem to be upset - do you want your lolly?
I know exactly what I need to do to gain victory.
You’ll get your Black Spot before you can beat me.

Ye know, ye were always a pain in me plot,
Ye wouldn’t be bearable after ye’d been shot!
Ye may be a prince, but me grandpa was king!
So go ahead and marry that foul changeling!
I may be a pirate, but I still have a Honor code
Ye insulted ye own sister when on ‘brainwashed’ mode!
I think I gotta tell ye, cuz ye’re not too bright
Cadence only married ye because of Twilight.

That right there’s a lie; you’re aware of that fact.
You really should think before you overreact.
You’re about as threatening as an ounce of yeast.
I’ll banish your flank, but not in One Piece.
I’ll tear you a new one, you dumb scallywag.
When I’m through, you’ll be matching your flag!
You’re giving me the order to beat you down.
And I’m just like ‘Roger that! Over and out!’

WHO WON? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

The music ended, but the stallions stood still, glaring fiercely at each other. The bat-winged unicorn smirked, shaking his head. “Well, I still don’t think we be even, but at least I could let out a bit of me hate.”

“Yeah, yeah, good fight, Roger, but I’m here to celebrate an engagement. I’ll see you hang.”

“Not if I shoot ye first... Anyway, Let’s have a swig on the stallion of the evening! Bring in the lemonade!”

The mentioned stallion’s jaw dropped. “You really want to have a drink on me without alcohol? Thanks, man!” He leaned over, speaking in hushed tones to the black pony. “Especially since Vi’s a recovering alcoholic. Nearly ruined her life.” He moved back to look up at the taller stallion, and eyebrow quirked. “Don’t mention that to anypony, alright?”

The Captain quickly hid the flask he had emptied into his glass of lemonade, giving an embarrassed grin. “O’ Course! Wouldn’t think about drinking alcohol on ye party, thinking about the reasons ye don’t drink any. And don’t worry, I won’t tell anypony about it. Honor Code is Honor Code.” He turned and left, heartily laughing.

He nodded, watching as the pirate walked away. He retrieved the headsets and placed them on the turntables, chuckling lightly at his fiancé. “Three rap battles in less than three hours. And I thought today was going to be restful.”

A little pegasus soon tackled him. “I knew you guys liked each other! I told you when I visited you a few months ago! Somepony owes me five bits! I don’t care who, but I knew this was gonna happen!”

Vinyl was about to respond, but, frankly, she was confused by this new arrival. She glanced between the pegasi, an eyebrow quirked. “Hey E, do you know this filly?” She smirked, nudging the darker pony in the shoulder. “I don’t have to worry about her stealing your heart, do I?”

The guest chuckled. “You probably noticed my new hairstyle! You remember your old buddy Broadway Bound, don’t cha’?”

He chuckled, carefully wrapping a foreleg around the little pony to avoid messing up her special manestyle. “Of course I do, Bebe.” He turned his gaze towards the unicorn, giving her a flat look. She just giggled in response.

She smiled, “I am so happy for the two of you!”

Vinyl smiled back and put a hoof on her chin, thinking for a bit. “Say, Bebe, would you like to come back here with me?” She motioned to the series of levers, knobs and slides in front of her. “See how a DJ works?”

“Ooh! Shiny” she ran over behind the turntables. “What does this button do?”

Soon, a loud screeching noise blasted out of the speakers and into the ponies’ ears.

Enigma couldn’t help but laugh at this. “Wow! I think you woke up some of the people in Trottingham!”

The disk jockey smirked, playfully jabbing him in the side. “She’s still better than you on your first try, E.”

A seafoam green pony bounced up in the back of the crowd, holding her hooves over her ears. “Quit the bucking jokes! Ponies’ ears are bleeding!”

Vinyl quickly fixed the music, playing a soft little melody while the ponies in the audience recovered their hearing. “Sorry about that! Won’t happen again!”

The pegasus laughed innocently. “Hehe, whoops.”

The white mare smiled, placing a gentle hoof on Broadway’s back. “Really, it’s fine. I wasn’t kidding about E’s first attempt. Literally blew the roof off the basement!”

She glared at the older pegasus, “So THAT was what you were doing when you left me home alone for- how long was it? Oh yeah! 24 HOURS STRAIGHT!”

He chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his head. “Sorry... she wouldn’t let me leave until I fixed the mess I made...”

“It’s fine!” she smiled, a halo appearing above her head. “All of your ice cream payed for what you did.”

He stared at her blankly for a few seconds before his face met his hoof again. “That explains what happened to the Dutch Chocolate I’d been saving...”

“Not to be rude,” Vinyl interrupted, motioning to her hind leg, which the little filly had been sitting on. “but my leg’s falling asleep.”

Broadway looked at her soon-to-be-kind-of-sister-in-law’s leg. “Oops! I didn’t see that there. So... do you have an engagement party cake? Or games, maybe?”

Vinyl pointed towards the twelve-layer cake on the food table. “There’s the cake Pinkie went all-out on, and the games are over there.” She pointed to a spot a little to the left of the table, where a multitude of games were being played. “Gotta love a space-bending spell.”

Broadway’s eyes got huge at the sight of the giant delicacy. “Wow.” Her head turned towards the game center. “This is the best engagement party ever!”

She ran over to Pinkie Pie, who was playing ‘Trot Trot Revolution’.

Enigma chuckled, gently placing a wing around his love. “Glad to see Bebe happy like this. I felt so bad when...” He became silent, his gaze falling to a random switch on the console.

Vinyl, knowing exactly what he meant, rested her head on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. “It wasn’t your fault... and we got back together eventually, right?”

He sighed softly, gently nuzzling the top of her head. “You’re right, Vi... I gotta stop living in the past...” He turned to the crowd, a semi-forced smile on his face. “Let’s see who else came to the party, shall we?”

In a far corner of the room, a brown stallion in a black hoodie watched the party. Beside him were his saddlebags and (for some unknown reason) a katana with two Tantōs. The pegasus ran a hoof through his black, spiky mane, almost looking like he was tracing the dark blue streaks in it. His draconic, sapphire-blue eyes scanned the room, seeing ponies idly talking to one another.

Not seeing anything interesting he reached into his saddlebags and pulled out a sketchbook and some pencils. He put the book and pencils on the table in front of him and just looked at them for a little while. “If I don’t think of something soon I won’t make the deadline.” He thought to himself. He just sat there looking at book a few more minutes then started drawing. It was nothing in particular just a random doodle.

While he was mindlessly doodling he did not notice the two ponies approaching him. Nor did he notice the darker of the two lean over his shoulder to look at his doodle.

“Interesting drawing. Reminds me of an equation I saw when I was younger.”

“AHH!” The pony screamed when he heard the random voice over his shoulder.

The burgundy pegasus held his hooves up, signalling that he was harmless. “Sorry, dude. I didn’t mean to startle you like that.”

The brown pegasus turned around to face the voice. “No it’s fine. It’s my fault for not paying attention to my surroundings.” He extended his hoof, smiling sheepishly. “I’m Night Drawing but everypony calls me Night Sky, or Sky for short. Um,” he paused, looking at the other pegasus, “you’re Enigma, right?”

The stallion nodded, smiling kindly. “That’s right.” He took the hoof, shaking it a bit. “Nice to meet you, Sky.”

Sky returned the smile with one of his own. ‘It’s nice to meet you too.”

“Yo, Sky! Long time no see.”

The larger of the two let go of the other hoof and looked at the pony approaching them. “Vinyl, it’s great to see you. How have you been?” He asked, extending his hoof for a hoof-bump.

Vinyl bumped it, grinning cheekily. “I’ve been good man, I moved to a town called Ponyville, made some new friends, had some laughs and, the most important thing,” she leaned over and gave Enigma a quick kiss on the cheek, “I’m getting married to this cool guy.”

“Cool is right, the way you were fighting that guy with just a stick was amazing! But you might want to use something better if you want to win a fight. Give me a sec.” The brown pegasus turned around and reached for an item in his bag.

That’s when the burgundy pony saw that the other pony had swords with him. “Why did you bring swords to a party?” he inquired, confused.

“You never know if you will need them, and, from what I saw, I might, and you might, too. Here, take this.” Sky pulled another Tantō out of his bag and gave it to Enigma. “Consider it an engagement gift.”

“Thanks.” He said, putting the other sword in his own bag. “By the way you and Vinyl greeted each other I take it you two are friends. How long have you two known each other? Enigma asked

“Years, but its been a long time since the last time we talked,” Vinyl said. “My friend Sky, here, would make the posters to advertise my shows in Baltimare.” Vinyl smiled at brown pegasus. “He’s a great artist, aren’t you, Draw?” she asked, teasingly putting emphasis on the last word.

“No,” he replied, glancing away from them. “I’m not that great, and don’t use my real name. You know I hate it.”

The white mare laughed, poking his side playfully. “Oh, shut up, Sky, you are great artist. I mean, look at your cutie mark!” She pointed to it, a pencil with two crossed lightning bolts in front of it and three stars in an arch over the whole thing. “A pony with a cutie mark like that has to be good at art, and besides,” Vinyl mischievously grinned, “why else would your parents name you ‘Drawing’, Draw?” She started laughing once more. Sky just closed his eyes in annoyance but he couldn’t help but smile. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop with the jokes now,” she said, forcibly calming herself down.

“So, how did you two meet?” Enigma asked, his curiosity getting the better of him and trying to move away from the previous topic.

“How we met?” Vinyl thought for a moment. “It was my first time performing in Baltimare, not too long after I started being a DJ. Not only that I was playing at a club that just opened,” Vinyl chuckled. “In order to get ponies to come to a club, you need to advertise, feel me?” She smacked her fiance’s hoof away from her flank, bemused. “Not literally... at least, not right now.”

She cleared her throat, continuing her story. “Anyways, the owner somehow forgot to pay somepony to make some posters to get the word out, so I had to make some posters and... well, let’s just say their quality was... less than professional.” She blushed brightly, remembering her pitiful attempt at a poster. “A-anyway, so I put up some posters, hoping they - and the big grand opening sign outside - would get some ponies to come.” She scratched the back of her neck, embarrassed. “They did, but there weren’t as many as I’d have liked.”

“Let me guess - Sky here was one of the ponies that showed up?” Enigma asked, smirking slightly.

“Yep, hit that nail right on the head,” Sky said. “That night I was just walking in the city and randomly I see this terri-OW!” Vinyl interrupted him by ‘accidentally’ hitting him in the back of the head. “Sorry, boss, I meant to say ‘unprofessionally-done’ poster about this new club I had never heard of and some upstart entertainer named ‘DJ P0N-3’. I decided to go see what’s up; I had nothing to do, anyway. So I get to the club, and there was nopony outside but there was music coming from inside so I went in. When I walked in, the place was half-empty.” Sky paused for a second. “Or half-full, whichever way you want to see it, but everypony there was having a good time.” He started to laugh. “Everypony there stayed until the club had to close.”

“Wow, you make it sound like it was the best party in history,” Enigma commented.

“It was,” Vinyl said. “Well it was until the next Friday!” she exclaimed, giggling a bit.

This piqued the burgundy pegasus’ interest. He leaned closer, curious. “What happened on Friday?”

“Well after the first night, Sky here walked up to me. Said he loved my music, but everypony does. Anyway, he also asked why I thought not too many ponies showed I told him bad advertising.”

“That’s when I told her that I was a freelance artist, and, because I liked her music so much, I would make her a bunch of posters promoting her next show, to make sure ponies came to the club and would hear her music.”

“Yeah, and he did it for free!” Vinyl said excitedly. “Because of him, nearly five times the number of ponies showed up to the next show! The line to get in wrapped around the building! It was so cool only one other party beat it.”

“Really? What party was that?” the feminine pegasus asked, an eyebrow quirked.

“A party Pinkie helped plan. It was some stallion’s birthday that was so big, the cops had to break it up. The next day, the stallion was convicted for disturbing the peace, and inciting a riot,” Vinyl added, shrugging a bit, “but that’s besides the point. After that night me and Sky became friends and every time I go to Baltimare I have him make posters for my shows.”

“Yeah, but those times seems like they happened such a long time ago don’t they.” The art pony said looking off in the distance and starting to remember more old times and the posters he had made. This led to him thinking of the deadline he still had to meat making him forget he was having a conversation with other ponies.

The couple watched as the brown pegasus got lost in thought. They looked at one another, wondering if the guy was ok. Vinyl tapped him on the forehead. “Yo, mister artist, you still there?”

Sky snapped out of his thoughts. “Oh, sorry, I was just thinking of the deadline for some designs, and I’m having some artist’s block.”

“Try thinking of math,” E suggested, shrugging a bit. “It’s what I think of when I see art.”

“Math? How is math going t-” He stopped mid sentence, putting a hoof on his chin. “Wait, math... that could work. I remember something from school about how math can make cool patterns with rings, lines and other stuff. Thanks E, I think you just pulled me out of the flames, here.” With that, Sky sat back down at his table, flipped to a new page in the book and started working.

Taking that as their sign to leave, the two started walking away. As they were, Sky turned to say one last thing to them. “Hey, Vi, it was nice seeing you again. Next time you and E are in Baltimare, let me know and the three of us can hangout.”

“Will do, Draw,” Vinyl replied, and, with that, they went back to the party.

Soon enough, they found themselves back on the platform, making small talk. As for the rest of the party, the ponies stood around chatting with each other, though they kept glancing around furtively, waiting for something to happen. Soon enough, their diligence was rewarded, a ruckus rising up, appearing to be progressing towards the stage where Vinyl and Enigma were standing by the DJ setup.

The pegasus poked her in the side, causing her to raise an eyebrow at him expectantly. “Maybe it’s second sight, but I’m sensing another battle.” He coughed, subtly jerking his head at an amber earth pony that was roughly making his way to the front of the crowd.

“Who do I talk to about whooping an impertinent colt’s flank?” the new arrival demanded loudly.

Vinyl shrugged, a sly smile growing on her lips. “Probably his parents, then the school board, and most likely the Mayor, if it’s drastic enough. But if you mean you want a rap battle, then you’re already in the right place.” She lowered her shades, her magenta eyes glancing over his body. “What’s your track, dude?”

“My tra-” He paused, his mouth open in an ‘o’ of realization. “Oh. Well, this measly kid here... somewhere...” his voice trailed off as he looked around as if he had dropped something.

Suddenly a nearly-white colt appeared behind him. His jaggedly cut black mane had vibrant blue and red highlights and was tucked into a grey Trottingham-type cap. His bright blue eyes remained fixed on the amber stallion as he spoke, his tone level.

“This guy,” he said, “is trying to eat me.”

He got a couple odd looks from the happy couple for that. It was okay. He was used to those.

“My music. That’s what I do - music. Anyway, I released my first hit track, Parody, and let it slip that I was short on funds. Suddenly there’s this guy, ‘Filthy Rich’,” he pointed an accusing hoof at the stallion in the blue tie, “following me around pestering me cuz he wants to own all my music. I don’t want to sell. You’d think he’d get that, right?” The DJ colt sighed. “He doesn’t care about music, he cares about money, and there’s no way I’m hoofing my life’s work over to some tycoon who just wants to make even more money by controlling it. It’s not the cash, it’s the soul, you know? Anyway, things escalated, and now we’re here,” he finished, pushing his hat further back on his head and shaking his mane.

Filthy Rich ground his teeth together. “He won’t sell!”

Vinyl once again raised an eyebrow, frowning at the older pony. “Hush, you. You’ll get your turn to speak.” She turned to the colt, tilting her head slightly. “And your name is...?”

The light-colored colt grinned. “DJ DJ. Dawn Jewel, actually. DJ LukkiDay, if you’re going by my stage name. Not that I’m on stages much. Just studios and clubs. I do a lot of recording.” This seemed to be evident, judging by his cutie mark, which was a three-note MIDI keyboard wearing the same hat he was.

The white unicorn mused for a moment, rubbing her chin with a hoof. "Dawn Jewel... I’m sure I’ve heard that name before... Have you ever been to one of my autograph signings?"

“Uh, yeah. Um, all of them, actually.” He rubbed the back of him mane, blushing a little bit. “Funny how that turns out.”

“Ah, right, you were the colt who asked if you could get shades similar to mine.” She chuckled a bit, adjusting said shades on her forehead. “So, DJ, can you rap?”

“I hear a liar, it’s the pony who said nice guys finish last,

Get back, clear the track, cuz this pale colt raps fast!”

She nodded, her lower lip jutting out a bit. “Impressive, but you do realize that you can’t use that in the battle now, right?”

DJ nodded.

“Well, mkay then! You guys ready?” she asked, putting a new record on the turntable.

Filthy nodded, and Dawn Jewel cracked a smile. They headed up to the stage, grabbing a mic apiece, when the younger colt turned back suddenly.

“Hey, are those turntables Technickers 1200s?”

Vinyl blinked in surprise, her gaze shifting from the colt to her set up and back to the younger of the two earth ponies. “Uh... yeah, they are, actually.”

“Sweet!” He turned back to the stage.

The mare inclined her head towards Enigma, smiling softly. “Care to do the honors?”

He shrugged, smirking slightly. “If that’s alright.” Before she could respond, he cleared his throat and turned to the audience.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

FILTHY RICH

VS

DJ LUKKIDAY

BEGIN!

Oh looky what the cat dragged in, it’s the peasant
Whatever you want to do, it won’t turn out pleasant
So take a moment to reflect before you start just spouting off
Because when small foals get angry they are liable to cough
My name is Filthy Rich, kid, and that’s what I am
I’m a tycoon! A typhoon that nopony can stand
I don’t have time to attend every colt who’s feeling blue
Hurry up, now, would you? I’ve got meetings to get to!

All right let’s do this! This goes out from the heart of a free spirit
And I don’t give a bark if you don’t you wanna hear it
I’ve got limitless energy but your greed’s makin’ me tired
Here's a thought: Get out, Filthy Britch! You’re fired!
I got skills that go beyond your cash-a-holic-tastic sham
And I got better things to do than corner Zap Apple jam
I rock it freelance, sir, and it’s my time you’re eating up
So go on home, and see who your daughter's beating up

I can’t believe what I’m hearing! Young kids these days - so rude!
I may be Filthy but you’re the definition of crude.
This ain’t your track, boy, I own it all - even this song!
So just get out and go back to the coffee shop where you belong.
Don’t want to work for me? Fine! I’ll make sure your life doesn’t work
Maybe teach you to diss my offer like a jerk
Hope you’ve enjoyed this song so far, boy, before it’s decimated
By tomorrow all your songs will be mine-- syndicated!

You can’t repress what is best, sir, and that’s found in Equinas
Whenever Good faces Evil, Lady Fortune chooses Righteous
You say my music is bad, all my songs are obscene?
You got nothing! If it gets recorded, it’s clean.
Now there’s a time and a place in this town for folks with money
But given the choice, I’ll take the grandma dressed up like a bunny!
You’re selfish, ungrateful! So just try and take what’s mine
You’re shaking? You’re lucky! Cuz that’s my last line.

WHO WON? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

The music came to a stop, the two earth ponies on the stage staring at each other in silence. It started to get a little uncomfortable. Vinyl leaned over to her fiance, worried. “You think they’re okay?”

Before the pegasus could even begin to think of an answer, the older of the contenders about-faced and left the platform, tossing his headset into the bin by the stage.

The feminine stallion shook his head, huffing slightly. “That was rude. Not even a word to his opponent.” He walked forward, patting the younger pony on the shoulder. “Good job, DJ. You both put on quite a show.”

“Thanks...thanks.” the remaining contestant said, briefly looking down at the ground. “You know, I meant what I said before the battle.”

“We know, dude.” Vinyl walked up to them, a calm smile on her lips. “Don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll work out in your favor.”

“Yeah, I hope so. And even if I lose, it’s not gonna stop me from doing what I love. Music, you know? It’s-it’s...”

“I get what you’re saying, DJ.” The mare closed her eyes, a wistful look on her face. “Music is a way for somepony to express what they’re feeling, what is most important to them. It is in nature, even in our very being.” She placed a hoof on her chest, right where her heart would be. “Music is...music is life. At least for me, it is.” She looked up at the other white pony, smiling softly once more. “You get what I’m saying, right?”

“Yeah,” the earth pony said simply, smiling differently now.

“Go on, dude.” She playfully bumped her shoulder against him, giggling a bit. “Enjoy the party. And who knows? Maybe we’ll do an LP together, someday.” She glanced around, realizing that her fiance had taken off somewhere. “...though I suppose only we’ll know about that idea.” She turned back to him, nodding a bit. “So what’cha say, DJ?”

DJ would have liked to say, but he couldn’t. He merely nodded rapidly, his mane brushing across his eyes.

Vinyl laughed, draping a foreleg over his back. “It’s a plan, then. Now go, dude. And who knows? Maybe you’ll find that special somepony out in the crowd.~” She giggled, giving him a teasing wink.

Normally, DJ would have mechanically replied with some self-joshing joke about “foreveralonefreest”, but this time he stopped, and shrugged instead.

“Yeah,” he said. “You never know.”

The disk jockey nodded to him, grinning brightly. “That’s the spirit! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to locate an M.I.A. pegasus.” She left the stage, trying to seek out her missing fiance.

Vinyl looked around for a few minutes, but she was unable to locate her favorite burgundy pony. She sighed, shaking her head. “I’d best get back to my turntables. Need to add more songs to the queue.” She turned and started making her way back to her setup.

The white mare was halfway back to the stage when somepony caught her attention. She turned, staring at the pony in question, pushing her shades back up her nose. “‘Sup, dude?”

The dull-red pony she turned to was adjusting his own glasses when she had spoken, finishing before he responded. “‘Sup’? Hmm, language must have changed a bit since last time. Oh, you’re waiting for a response aren’t you? Well, I guess you could say that there isn’t all that much happening apart from the obvious.”

She scrunched her nose a bit in confusion. “I think I’m the only one who talks like that.” She shook her head, smirking slightly. “I actually meant ‘how are you doing,’ dude. Anyways, I’m Vinyl.” She held out her hoof expectantly. “And you are?”

Keeping his face as emotionless as possible, he responded. “The name’s Quillflare, and I’m doing well for the most part, but this day is about a happy couple maybe you should worry about them, and not me.”

Vinyl laughed, shaking her head. “Dude - actually, I think I’ll call you Q, it sounds cooler. Anyways, I don’t think I have to worry about how they’re feeling.” She grinned, playfully patting his shoulder with a hoof. “Especially since I’m one half of said couple.”

His eyes changed from stone grey to a pale yellow for no apparent reason and a smile appeared on his face. “Indeed, so you’re part of the feeling I had this morning. May I ask the name of the other half?”

She stared at him in confusion, narrowing her eyes at him. “Dude, what just happened to your eyes?”

His smile vanished and his eyes turned a dull blue. “I’d rather not speak of that memory on a happy occasion such as this one.”

The disk jockey shrugged. “Gotcha, Mood-Eyes.” She glanced around, curious. “I don’t really know about where E is, right now. I think he might be talking with ‘Shy...”

His eyes went back to their original grey but a small look of surprise graced his face for a moment. “You know Flutters’? I didn’t think she could talk to ponies that didn’t have a wounded animal with them.”

“Actually, I met her through Pinkie.” She giggled, shaking her head. “She really lives up to her name! As for how E met her...” She trailed off, scratching her two-tone blue mane. “... truth be told, I have no idea how that happened.” She shrugged once again, starting to go back towards the stage. “Can you walk and talk? I need to queue up the next few songs.”

“I could pace a classroom and speak more than one of the snootier nobles while doing it, a small stroll would be easy” he said as he closed the little gap that had been made.

She nodded, continuing on her way. She casually ducked, avoiding the lamppost that sailed in through a window. “Seems like ‘Tavi found a good opponent,” she commented off-hoof, getting behind the turntables and switching out a few records.

“‘Tavi? Is the pony you’re talking about a grey mare with more than her fair share of talent?” he asked, an obvious look of pride on his face.

She grinned, nodding in excitement. “Yeah, that sounds like her! She’s my best friend!” She tapped her hoof against her chin, her magic still manipulating the vinyl disks even as she was distracted. “I think that’s not her real name, but I’m probably just being paranoid or something.”

“If Octavia isn’t her name then she I was informed wrong as well, then again that was a really long time ago i could just be remembering wrong” as he spoke his eyes shifted again to a light brown.

Vinyl glanced over at him, an eyebrow quirked. “How do you know ‘Tavi, Mood-Eyes?” She tried to ignore the eye thing for now, but liked that nickname better. Besides, it seemed like that one was taken by someone else.

He smiled and the colour of his eyes started deepening as he spoke “I used to teach a lot of foals from rich families she was by far one of the best I taught, but again, I am old enough for that memory to be incorrect”

She regarded him for a few more seconds before turning back to her controls. Her eyes widened in shock and she quickly grabbed the record off the player, holding it at hoof-length from her body. “How did that get in my gig box!?” She tossed it into the box, huffing softly. “That was close.” She carefully picked up a different record, moving it onto the turntable.

“I take it that either that disk was something you're embarrassed about or protective of”

She sighed, shaking her head. “It was my first song, back when I was eight. It’s way too embarrassing, and I thought that auto-tune was amazing back then.” She sheepishly smiled, a small blush on her face. “Can we keep that between us two?”

“Keep what between us? As far as I’m concerned the disk you just put on is the one you meant to.”

“Exactly.” She smiled brightly, nodding a bit. “Glad we’ve come to an understanding.” She looked out over the crowd, wondering if anypony she knew had seen that little moment of frantic movement.

“So if this is a party for you, why are you organizing the music?”

Vinyl shrugged, smirking a bit. “‘Sh- I mean, Glaze had to take care of something, so I figured I could fill in for her until then. Besides, I enjoy DJing.” She coughed a little, hoping he didn’t catch her little slip-up.

Quill noticed the cough and guessed that it was fake. “I know of Flutters’ alter ego. It’s hard to disguise who you are from somepony that walks past your home every time they come into town.”

The white mare stared at him, a hoof lifted as she contemplated backing away from him. “Dude, the way you said that makes you sound like you’re a stalker, or something.”

“I see why you might think that, but no, I’m no stalker. I live in the forest, and she lives near one of the few entrances, thats all.”

Her nose scrunched up again from the confusion, but she decided not to ask any more. “I see... I think.” She glanced over at the rest of the crowd, looking for her love. “Sorry I can’t spend more time talking, but I think I need to find my fiancee.”

As she did, she saw something that made her heart warm. In the middle of the crowd was the white earth pony from before, talking with a light brown unicorn filly around his age. She giggled, unable to hear what was being said but recognizing the patch of pink on her cheeks. Aw, looks like somepony got a crush. How cute!

Vinyl then remembered the guest right next to her. She turned and smiled at him, rubbing the back of her neck a bit. “Yeah, so you understand, right?”

He smiled “Yes I understand, you wish to be with the one you love,” he then muttered “as do I,” under his breath.

She blinked, swivelling her ears towards him. Despite, or maybe because of, her profession, she actually had really good hearing. “Come again, Mood-Eyes?”

Quill didn’t expect to be heard the surprised look on his face was evidence of this. “I was merely thinking out loud.”

She looked at him for a few more moments, lifting her shades to get an unhindered view of him. After about twenty seconds, she dropped her sunglasses, shaking her head. “If you say so, dude. Meanwhile, I still have to find E. Hope you enjoy the party!” She walked off the stage, heading off to find her favorite pegasus.

Author's Note

So yeah, you remember when I said that I didn't want people voting through Private Messages? Five of you didn't listen. :facehoof: So the final tally from last chapter's section is Lyrical vs. Gilda, 22 to 5, and Moonfeather vs. Rainbow Dash, 14 to 14. The second one's a tie...anyways, moving on!

While we were writing, ForeverFreest made a silly little rhyme, but I felt that it should be shared. So here you go! :pinkiehappy:

Why can’t I think? On the track, I can toast it, spit fire/ It’s like, bam, I’m a road block. Like write, dude? Aspire!/ Get offa the truck, cuz this club is for writers/ so roast it, just post it, it’s Beater, it’s Biter./ The pen might be stronger, but swords tend to hurt/ I’m losing my mind... I’m losing my shirt/ just to be a starving artist means I’m living my art/ but it wouldn’t hurt to have a little brain, for a start.

I apologize to Mrluigifan102, though - this chapter was just too long as it is. Maybe we could add you to another chapter? Like the Q&A Chapter, or maybe the BC Results part of the chapter after that? :twilightblush: I really do feel bad...I just don't know how to make it up to you, though...

"If there are any problems with this chapter, please let us know! And the next Bonus Chapter part will be put up after the same amount of time it took for this one. Just so you know!~"

"Oh, and we're currently working on a one-shot, tangentially related to this story. You might like it, you might not. Still, it's sure to be something to witness!~"

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Bonus Chapter #2 (pt. 3): ...Intrigue?

“WARNING! There will be some dark material in this chapter! You have been warned! Now, on-”

With the story!

“Dude, not cool.”

Hey, you did it to me. Anyways, let’s continue!

Standing there in the middle of the circle, dancing in a completely carefree manner, was a brown unicorn, his bright green and gold mane swaying with every motion. He seemed lost to the world, having become one with the beat. As the music started to reach its end, he gradually returned to the here and now. At this point, he finally looked around and realized that a small crowd had gathered around to watch him. He blushed and started to spit out a non-intelligible string of sounds that one might’ve once heard from Screwloose.

“I-I uh um, see I jus-just um... YOLO, am I right?”

There was a stagnant pause from the crowd, all eyes on the embarrassed unicorn.

“I’d say that phrase is silly...”

A burgundy pegasus stepped into the circle, a small smile on his face. “... but I have to admit that those were some nice moves, man. Definitely better than anything I could’ve done.”

“Well thank you very much,” exclaimed the unicorn, glad that the attention was no longer just on him.

The feminine stallion chuckled, shaking his head. “No problem.” He extended a hoof, giving a small half-smile. “I’m Enigma. What’s your name?”

“My name’s Bronzehearth, but my friends call me Hearth. Pleased to make your acquaintance,” Hearth said, extending his hoof and shaking Enigma’s.

He laughed, even though he really tried not to. “Such formality! This is supposed to be a party, not the Triple G!” He bumped him on the shoulder, his laughter now lowered to chuckling. “Though you’ve definitely loosened up a bit, eh?”

“It’s hard not to, I mean just look around!” He pulled Enigma close to him and waved a hoof in front of the scene before them. “A sea of smiling faces, putting their troubles to rest the best way possible. A party!” He shouted as he hoofpumped.

“Woah, watch the hooves, there! That’s my stallion you’re putting the moves on!”

A chuckle followed the voice, and a white mare came into the little clearing. “Just kidding, dude. You have to admit, though, E’s a little uncomfortable.” She glanced at the pegasus, who was currently trying to squirm out of the embrace, if only due to how his spine was being awkwardly bent.

“Huh? Oh, right. My bad,” he said, finally releasing the burgundy stallion from the hold. “And you must be the lovely bride-to-be, Miss Scratch?” He said while slowly rubbing the back of his head, a sheepish smile on his face.

She grinned, pulling off her shades to get a proper look at him. “That’s right, dude.” Her vibrant violet eyes roved over his body for a moment before she continued. “And the name’s Vinyl Scratch, but you can call me Vi or Vinyl. Never ‘Miss Scratch’.” She turned away slightly, a small frown on her lips. “It makes me feel old. I mean, come on! I’m barely in my twenties!”

She glanced up at her fiance, who was giving her a bemused look. She sighed, rubbing a hoof through her mane. “Okay, so I’m twenty-four. But still, I-” She paused mid-sentence, her eyes widening slightly.

The burgundy pegasus waved a hoof in front of her face, worried. “Vi? You okay?”

Hearth squinted his eyes behind his gray glasses. “Wait, Vinyl... where have I heard that before?” He scratched his chin, concentrating.

“Canterlot University.” The white mare stepped forward, her eyes still wide in what appeared to be awe. “You were a year ahead of me. I remember that you once got in trouble with the science teacher for taking his ‘Visible Pony’.”

“I’m just surprised he didn’t notice for that long! You’d think that by the time prom rolled around he would’ve seen something was off.” Hearth chuckled. “Ah, good ole Mr. Woolsworth.”

“Easy to pull the Wool over his eyes.” She laughed, finally breaking out of her trance-like state. “I can’t believe it! You’d think I’d have recognized you sooner!”

“No biggie, I’ve just been so busy since high school running the business and all.”

“I know, Hearth! You came by my dad’s house once to install a fireplace!” She giggled, winking at him. “You almost broke his favorite guitar, dude!~”

“Hey! How was I supposed to know his pickups were super-magnetized by some kind of exotic, foreign magic?” He said, bursting out in laughter.

Vinyl stayed silent, awkwardly fidgeting. She’d averted her gaze, almost as if she was embarrassed by what he’d just said. “About that...”

He started to calm down, his interest piqued.

“That was actually my fault.” She winced, finally looking up back at him. “I’d been messing with his guitar... trying to see if stronger pickups would make it louder, you know?” She sheepishly smiled, shrugging a little. “And you saw how that went... sorry, dude...”

He just stared off into the distance with an odd look in his eye, thinking back to that day. An awkward silence enveloped the room. He started to speak, but his mouth just stayed half-open with no sound coming out. “Ohhhhhhhh... now that makes a whole lot more sense than ‘gypsy magic’,” he breathed out, a smile starting to reform on his lips. “Oh well, all’s well that ends well.”

She gaped at him in shock. “Y-you aren’t mad?”

“Honestly, I’m just glad I got out of there with my pay,” He laughed out. “I didn’t expect your dad to be so cool about it. So, whatcha been up to these last few years? You know, besides the whole rap battle thing.”

She giggled, calming back down. “That’s actually been a large part of what I’ve been doing, recently. I’m a DJ, after all!” She tilted her head, quickly realizing that the playlist was about to end. Her horn lit up, and the needle moved over to the other record, a new song queued up to play. “I’m a little distracted, at times, but it’s still really fun for me.”

“Oh, I completely understand,” Hearth said. When the new song started to pick up, he started tapping his hoof to the beat.

The crowd had long since gone back to dancing, having incorrectly deemed their little conversation unworthy of their attention. One pony, however, had been secretly watching, her rose eyes locked onto the brown unicorn.

“Well guys, tell you what, if you’re ever in need of a top-notch fireplace, count on me for one, free of charge.” His head starting to bob.

The happy couple smiled and, with a quick goodbye, started to leave the crowd. Soon enough, they were out of sight.

Hearth started to look around, looking for somepony to dance with. But, it looked like there weren’t any around.

A cornflower-blue hoof grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him around. Its owner, a mare wearing a hat that covered her head, smiled at him as she got closer to him. Her lips came close to his ear, whispering just loud enough for him to hear.

“Nopony should dance alone.”

The brown unicorn, finally regaining his composure, smiled at the mare and said, “And here I was thinking that I’d have to do it all by my lonesome. And may I have the name of my beautiful partner?” One of his eyebrows raised, a half-grin on his face

She blushed, pressing her periwinkle mane closer to his cheek. “Call me... Shine...”

“Well you can just call me Hearth, but right now I hear the dance floor calling for me... or should I say us?” A little redness starting to form on his cheeks.

She blushed, and with that he took her by the hoof and led her out onto the dance floor.

A certain white mare on the stage took notice of the two, a small smile forming on her lips. “Cute.”

Enigma sighed, moving back up onto the stage with his marefriend. “It’s nice to see old friends, huh, Vi?” He looked at her, finally noticing that she was distracted. He followed her line of sight, smiling softly at the scene. “Heh. I guess somepony else found love, too, huh?”

Vi giggled, shaking her head. “I’m surprised. Shine was always such a shy little mare; frankly, I figured she was asexual or something.” She smiled taking the playful burgundy hoof to her side. “Anyways, I think things should be fine, from here on out. After all, nothing else could possibly go wrong.”

The feminine stallion just stared at her, a blank expression on his face. “...you did not just say that.” She returned the gaze, confused, her mouth open as if to ask a question.

Almost as if the universe was waiting on her to say those words, she was cut off by a sudden loud yell coming from the stage. “What do you mean I didn’t make the cut?!”

They jumped in surprise, turning to stare at the source of the voice. Off to the side of the stage, there was a red unicorn, talking into a microphone. He was unaware that his voice was being broadcast throughout the whole room. Everypony had stopped what they were doing to stare at him.

“Calm down, Spot Light, the mic is on,” a green pegasus next to him said, nervously tugging at her orange mane.

“Not now, Sugar Coat, sweetie,” he said with an annoyed look.

“But the mic is on, honey,”

“Ahem.” The burgundy pegasus was standing at the edge of the stage, an eyebrow quirked. “I’m sorry, but could you please put that down? You’re disrupting the party for the rest of the guests.”

“And who are you, red head?”

“Spot Light, calm down.”

“First off, my mane is sienna.” He ran a hoof through the brown hair on his head as if to prove a point. “Second, I’m the fiance of the lovely unicorn up there entertaining the guests.”

“It looks red to me, and you with her, BA!” he snarled, “We all know she doesn’t swing that way!”

“Spot Light, you're making a scene,” Sugar Coat said, tugging at his tail. “You must forgive him, he gets like this when he doesn’t get a role in a play, and that’s rarely.”

Enigma looked from the green mare to the red unicorn, a blank expression on his face. “Okay, then... but I’m confused by what he said.” He tilted his head, eyes narrowing dangerously. “What do you mean by ‘she doesn’t swing that way’?”

“I don’t need to explain myself, you should just figure it out yourself,”

The feminine stallion stood there for a few moments in silence, contemplating whether the rude performer was being facetious. A small smirk planted itself on his lips.

“And what are you smirking about now, dummy?”

He shook his head, chuckling to himself. “I must say, you’re one heck of a performer. I almost believed that you were really angry.”

“I bet you couldn’t act to save you life!” Spot Light yelled, his face redder than normal, “I’m not acting, I really am angry and I need to let it out on somepony or something!”

“He really is angry,” Sugar Coat said, still trying to calm down her husband.

Enigma smiled, nodding a bit. “I can see that.” He turned to the taller pony, holding a hoof out. “Listen, you and I are reasonable stallions. Why don’t we just talk about this? You know, without the mic?”

“Explain! And I didn’t get your name yet.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “Good one! It should’ve been on your invite, along with Vinyl’s.”

“I still want to know your name. I bet it’s something embarrassing, maybe it is some sort of mare’s name.”

The pegasus’ face darkened, his eyes now slits. “What was that?”

“Looks like I hit a nerve, ya filly. Tell me your name and I might consider up.”

Enigma gritted his teeth, an eye twitching slightly. “Not... a mare...” He turned to the white mare behind the turntables, fighting to keep calm. “Vi, we’re gonna need a rap battle!”

“A rap battle? Ok but I would like to know who I am facing it is before we start.”

The burgundy pegasus smirked, reaching into the box of microphones and pulling out a headset. “Don’t worry, you’ll find that out soon enough.” He put it on and turned back to the red unicorn, glaring harshly at him. “After this, you’ll remember my name.”

“I normally go second to get the advantage, but this time I’ll go first, Mr. Enigma,” he smiled.

Enigma blinked, confused. “If you knew my name, why did you act like you didn’t?”

“What are you talking about?”

He pointed a hoof at himself. “My name’s Enigma. You literally just called me that.”

“Oh well, surprise, surprise. Lets start,”

Vinyl grinned, fully in her stage persona. As soon as she saw they were ready, she put up her illusions, casting a unique background for each of the combatants. She started the music and shouted out to the crowd.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF THE OC’S!

SPOT LIGHT

VS.

ENIGMA

BEGIN!

Greetings Enigma, or is it Mr. E? I can't figure it out
I've waited long enough for you to battle me, so no need to pout
You hooked up with Vinyl, boy that's a surprise
I guess you have a thing for Ms. Bloodshot eyes
So does she know about your wings going "up and stick out"
Now let's not get hostel and there's no need to shout
I'm just warning you, I'm no two act page
So take up the mic and come on up here on stage

Listen to this guy, how does he even breathe?
Sayin’ stupid things as he tries to make me seethe
In anger, but I won’t have my jimmies rustled.
I’m sure you speak like that when you hustle
Other ponies because you fear for your fame.
There’s only three things that you’ve got to your name -
Your sad marefriend, your poor excuse for a show,
And your awful habit of being way too hammy, bro.

Me being hammy? You don't know the half,
You brought up my wife, so prepare to feel my wrath
I may have a small job, but I'm a local star
It's not like your dates with Vinyl, which never go far
You say you’re an Enigma? Well mystery solved
Your wings stood up hearing Vinyl, so something there evolved.
You are a worthy adversary for the great Spot Light
Now get off my turf and Exit Stage Right

Shut your mouth right now, Spot, or I’ll muzzle you, tool.
If this is your turf then mine’s the whole world, fool!
You, a star? Yeah, maybe if you mean that you’ve fallen.
Do you hear that? It’s Captain Kirk on the call ‘n’
He wants you to know that he wants his acting back!
It must be bad to be called out on that.
Though I have to admit you put up quite a fight,
This has to end - I’m blacking out this Light.

WHO WON? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF THE OC'S!

The music ended and the illusions faded, leaving the two rappers standing on the stage.

“Sorry for any harsh words I said, I just needed to vent, I don’t care if I lose. It just feels good to get things off my chest,” Spot Light said, now a lot more calm.

Enigma sighed, sheepishly smiling. “It’s fine. I’m just glad you’ve calmed down.”

“Good. Now we can all enjoy the party,” Sugar Coat said, sighing as well.

“Say, Enigma, let’s rap again sometime, when it isn’t like this. And personally, I think you and Vinyl there should hold off on getting married,” Spot Light said calmly. “Marriage isn’t something you want to dive into just yet. Just something to think about. In the meantime,” He cracked his hoofs, “I’m going to give my manager a piece of my mind. Now enjoy the party.”

“Here we go again,” Sugar Coat rolled her eyes before turning to the couple. “See you two later.” The two ponies left the stage and blended into the crowd.

Enigma stepped off the stage as well, chuckling to himself. “Well, that was fun. I wonder what’ll happen next...” He placed a hoof on his chin, thinking a little. He shrugged, smiling softly. “Probably nothing bad.”

Suddenly, there was a crash as a certain cinnamon-colored unicorn went sailing in through a window, and straight into the unprepared pegasus.

Both stallions sailed through the room before smashing into the stage, the dark red pegasus taking the full force that the unicorn had been sent flying with. The impact caused the needle to fall, landing on the record once more.

Octavia leaped through the broken window, looking at the two stallions as though nothing was wrong. “I know a fight can be tiring, but that doesn’t mean you can just fall asleep.” She was being completely serious, if her neutral expression was anything to go by.

“I’m not sleeping, and it will take more than that to put me down. What did I hit, anyways?” He looked down at the almost-unconscious form of Enigma, his eyes displaying swirls. “Oops, my bad, man.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck with a hoof, embarrassed.

“Mommy... I’m sorry I failed my flight test again...” He stood up shakily, staggering away in a daze. “Please don’t take me to the Factory, Mommy...”

“Is he alright? I didn’t mean for him to get hurt by our fight.”

“He’ll be fine. He’s been hit by worse before.” She walked over, popping the joints in her neck. She stood up on her hind legs, cello bows at the ready. “Shall we continue?”

Cinnamon spun his swords, clearly showing off. “Whenever you’re ready, lady.”

Smiling, she stepped on one of the stage’s loose planks, causing it to flip into the air. With a little spin, she kicked it at him, obscuring his vision. Growling, he cut the board apart with one of his swords, allowing him to see her again.

To his surprise, she was right in front of him. “Check.” She flipped, delivering an axe kick to the top of his head, sending him crashing face-first into the floor. She shook her head, frowning softly. “Oldest tactic in the book. Pity. He was actually entertaining.” She turned away, finding herself disappointed at the turn of events.

But the unicorn wasn’t done yet. With his opponent now distracted, he pushed off his swords and launched himself, hindhooves-first, into the back of her head. She was sent flying into a wall, caught off-guard by the attack.

“Don’t get cocky! I still have some fight left in me,” he said as he quickly picked up his swords again. “but I intend to end this now.”

Octavia recovered quickly from the blow, a small smirk creeping to her face. “I’m glad that it didn’t end so quickly. Let's end this.” She raised her cello bows, ready for whatever he was about to throw at her.

Cinnamon lowered himself into a stance, crossing his forehooves in front of him. “I thought I wouldn’t need to use one of my special moves for this. Guess I was wrong.”

Someone from the crowd that was watching the scene glanced around, noticing a change in the temperature. “Hey, is it me or did the place just become hotter?”

“No, that’s just you, love. You’re always hot.”

The mare pushed against her stallion, blushing brightly. “You flatterer!”

Of course, everyone else was starting to notice it, as well. They could tell the battle was becoming serious.

The area around Cinnamon started to wave, the air around him hot enough that the swords looked like they were bending. Octavia readied herself, keeping a wary eye on the unicorn in front of her. What is he planning? It clearly isn’t magic. He’s too honorable to break his own rules. But that begs the question: what is this unicorn doing to make the area around him warmer?

“Enbima Yonezu,” Cinnamon calmly said, looking the sophisticated mare straight in the eye.

She stared right back, translating what he said in her head. ‘Charm Demon Sleepless Night’? Why would he say that? She kept her gaze level, noting how far apart they were as she began to plan her next move. He’s about eight meters in front of me. Easily covered, but I have to watch out for those swords of-

“Oniiii-”

She sighed at having her thoughts interrupted. She tilted her head, thinking of what that one word meant. ‘Demon’...

“GIRIIIII!” Almost instantly, he was right behind where she was, though the unseen attack had sent her flying into the air.

...‘Slash’. Maybe I should stop analyzing my opponents words. Octavia looked down, seeing all the shocked faces of the audience, and a few disbelieving look from her friends. I didn’t know Vinyl’s mouth could open that wide...

She came back down hard, with enough force to make the stage crack under her weight. Time seemed to stand still as she watched her cello bows fell down towards the floor, only for a sword to catch them. Such speed and power! Indeed, he is a worthy opponent...

Cinnamon calmly walked towards Octavia’s prone body, who was still too lost in her thoughts to get back up after such attack, and placed a hoof on her barrel. She couldn’t see any way to get out of this situation, too winded to stand up even if she wasn’t held down. Not to mention that she didn’t have her cello bows anymore. I... lost? I never lose...

The unicorn looked right to the mare’s eyes, considering her for a moment before softly smiling and backing away a step or two. His horn lit up and the cello bows were surrounded in his crimson magic, removing them from his blades and holding them in front of the mare.

Octavia didn’t understand what this unicorn was doing. He had me pinned and defenseless! Why would he just stop like this? She warily accepted the help and took hold of her cello bows, the unicorn’s magic pulling her back to her hooves.

He just continued to smile, nodding his head at her slightly. “I lost to a good fighter today.”

“WHAT?!” The whole audience exclaimed at the apparently random statement. They had just witnessed someone beat Octavia with one move. Why was he admitting defeat?

The mare, herself, was just as confused as everyone else. “What do you mean? You had me at your mercy back there, and you’re saying you lost?” Octavia was at a loss. After such a display of strength, this stallion just... admits defeat?

“Because you weren’t going all out” He calmly stated, sheathing his swords. When she didn’t respond, he continued. “I have been in many fights, and I know when someone is holding back. And even so, you managed to land more blows on me than I did on you.”

Looking closely, it was clear that Cinnamon had, indeed, suffered a large amount of bruises, his whole body shaking a little from the strain of holding himself up. Octavia, on the other hoof, only had a couple of them.

Enigma, the first pony other than the fighters to move, stepped forward, curious. “So... all is forgiven?” He tentatively held a hoof out, sheepishly smiling.

Cinnamon faced the stallion, giving his own smile and accepting the hoof. “Yeah, all forgiven. It was my fault for overreacting in the first place.” He suddenly became a little glum when a thought crossed his mind. “I just hope ‘Shy can forgive me...”

“I think she will.”

They turned, staring in surprise at the yellow mare approaching them. She looked over at her brother, smiling softly. “I-it wasn’t your fault... Vinyl just got curious...” She glanced over at the other pegasus, frowning in confusion. “I still don’t know why you started attacking him...”

Enigma sheepishly shrugged. “I guess I just don’t like Cinnamon?” He shuddered, shaking his head. “Never again...”

Fluttershy stared blankly at him. “I-I’m sorry?”

“N-nothing!” He glanced around, trying to find something to distract them. He pointed to a random spot behind the unicorn. “Look, a griffon!”

The mare looked over to where he indicated. “Oh, hi, Gilda.” She turned back to her friend, but blinked in surprise when she realized he vanished. “I guess he’s worried she’ll remember those insults?” With that, she gave Cinnamon a hug and left to go backstage.

“I hope to see you perform soon... Glaze.” He gave a grin at his sister as she went backstage.

A soft sound behind the unicorn caught his attention. Turning to look, he saw Octavia, a small medkit right next to her. “In atonement for causing you so much bodily damage, I wish to help heal your wounds.” She opened the case and pulled out what appeared to be treated gauze.

“I appreciate your concern, but I rather take care of my own wounds.” A small blush spread across his cheeks as he looked away from the mare. “There are some parts which are a bit... private.”

She stared at him for a few moments in confusion before she realized what he meant. She cleared her throat, trying to ignore the heat in her own cheeks. “I see. Still, I’d feel awful if I didn’t do anything to ease your pain.”

“Wooo! You go, ‘Tavi!” Her best friend was standing there, a huge grin on her face. “Show him that romance-novel knowledge!”

“Vinyl!” The two ponies froze, realizing that they’d just said the exact same thing.

“See? You’re already on the same wavelength! All you need to do is take him out on a date! Maybe...” She leaned in close to Octavia’s ear, whispering. With each and every word, the blush on the sophisticated mare’s cheeks grew more and more. Vinyl pulled away with her trademark grin on her face. “You know what I’m saying?”

The mare shook her head, trying to get the mental image out of her head. “V-Vinyl, you know I don’t like you joking about that!” She turned to the stallion, sheepishly smiling. “I’m sorry, Cinn, she tends to get this way when she-” A pair of hooves wrapped around her mouth, cutting her off mid-sentence.

The disk jockey was giving her a worried look. “Tavi, what are you doing? He doesn’t want to be called that!” She glanced over at the other unicorn, trying to gauge his reaction.

“I actually don’t have a problem with Octy giving me a nickname since we are good rivals now.”

Both of the mares stared at him, jaws agape. “You don’t?”

“Yeah, but I’d rather have another one, for some reason I feel it has some strange second meaning to it.”

The orchestral pony nodded, wondering why she didn’t mind this pony calling her that nickname. She thought for a few moments before glancing up at him. “How does ‘Zorro’ sound? I seem to recall Enigma referred to you as such during your-shall we say-spat.”

“YOU CAN’T! IT’S PROTECTED BY COPYRIGHT!”

Octavia blankly stared at the hyper pink pony that just yelled at her. “Okay, then. How about ‘Zolo’? Close enough to sound the same, yet unable to be ‘claimed’ by a copyright. Whatever that is.”

Cinnamon pondered this for a moment, thinking about the nickname. “Yeah that sounds good. Zolo the swordstallion. Kind of like it.”

The gray mare smiled warmly in response, her blush less noticeable than it was before, but still there.

Vinyl silently moved over to the stallion, whispering in his ear. “I’m sure you two will be a cute couple. However...” She poked his side, quickly becoming serious. “... if you break her heart, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will end you.”

Cinnamon looked into the stare of this mare, feeling that she would be able to do just that if given the chance. Taking a gulp he stammered out a response. “Y-you can t-trust me!”

She immediately reverted to her more cheerful appearance, grinning widely. “Good. Now, play nice, you two!” She trotted away, leaving the two ponies in an awkward silence.

Octavia, able to guess what was said, gave a sheepish smile. “I apologize for Vinyl’s behaviour. She thinks we’re likely to be dating, and she knows I’ve never done that before.” She shrugged, glancing around, trying to find something to talk about.

The music quickly became a slow waltz. Glancing over at the stage, she saw her best friend behind the turntable. “Alright, ponies, time for something different. All you out there find your special somepony and let the romance flow!”

A pink-hued spotlight suddenly came on, its light surrounding the two ‘rivals.’ “That includes the new lovebirds in the house~” Vinyl looked up and nodded at the yellow pegasus working the lights, a playful grin on her face. She didn’t even care that the supposed couple were giving her the death-glare.

The refined mare shook her head, looking at the unicorn in front of her. “She won’t let it go, you know.” She stepped forward, her blush quickly returning. “Maybe we should just... humor her? After all, it is her engagement party.”

“Y-Yeah, just for fun!” He said while avoiding as much eye contact with her, the blush in his cheeks now clearly visible through his brown coat.

Octavia moved over to him, gently placing her foreleg on his shoulder. Cinnamon spun her around, blushing deeply. Their movements were synchronized as they followed the rhythm of the music. Octavia closed her eyes, resting her head in the gap between his head and shoulder. She blushed for a brief moment before it faded, leaving the gray earth pony with a smile. Soon, she lifted her head to look into Cinnamon’s eyes, her gaze soft. “Cinnamon, I...”

That’s when she realized she’d forgotten to put her contacts in. She averted her eyes, hoping he didn’t realize they were blue instead of royal purple.

Cinnamon put a hoof to the side of Octavia's head, making her look back to him. " Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”

Octavia’s eyes watered, a small smile forming on her lips. “Thank you.”

Cinnamon smiled before leaning his head forward. He gently placed his forehead against hers, enjoying the slow dance with the gray mare.

Enigma hid backstage, peering between the curtains. “I can’t believe that actually worked... I guess I owe Cadence fifteen bits.” He shrugged, stepping out from behind the curtains to go mingle with the crowd. “That’ll teach me to disagree with a love-pony...”

His favorite white mare soon joined him. They wandered through the throng of ponies, leaning against each other and nuzzling as they went.

“This has been one heck of a party so far,” the white unicorn said, pressing closer to her fiance’. It was a miracle that they hadn’t fallen yet.

“Oh, yeah. We’ve caught up with a lot of old friends and I think we even made some new ones,” Enigma replied, smirking slightly. “It’s going to be real hard to top all this at the reception.”

She grinned, shaking her head. “You kidding? This isn’t even a fraction of what me and Pinks have planned for the reception!”

Enigma laughed at this and gave her a playful shove. “Why don’t I doubt it?”

“Because you know how crazy we can get.” She glanced at the food table and began to make her way over to it. “Say, I’m kinda thirsty. I’m gunna go get us something to drink.”

He waved after her, smiling softly. “...I still can’t believe I’m so lucky...” Suddenly, a chill went up his spine. “...t-that’s strange. The only other times that happened was when-” He stopped mid-sentence, his maroon eyes wide in horror. “...no. Not here. W-why would he be here?!”

He glanced around apprehensively, fear starting to set in. “Gotta escape. G-gotta get away from here!” He ran through the curtains on the stage, hoping one of the rooms beyond would be the key to his survival.

Sadly, it was not meant to be, and he yelped as a large white foreleg wrapped around his throat. He struggled, shivering as the pony’s warm breath rolled over his sensitive ear.

“Here you are, servant. Oh, you didn’t think I recognized you?” The other hoof trailed along the burgundy pegasus’ stomach, making him thrash about even more. “Just give up. No one’s gonna hear you, and no one will think to come back here before I’ve had my fun...” The pedicured hoof traveled lower, and the feminine stallion could just see the sadistic smile growing on his captor’s lips. A needle floated in front of Enigma’s face, the pink-purple fluid inside glowing in the darkness. “...as soon as I use this, you’re as good as mine, slave.”

Enigma was completely helpless, paralyzed by fear. Needle! Big needle, huge pain. Do. Not. Want! He closed his eyes tightly, trembling, tears freely flowing down his cheeks. S-somepony. Anypony. Help me!

“Hey! What’s going on here?” A voice said, just outside of his field of view.

“Stay out of this, you broken-horned freak! This is none of your concern!” His captor hissed at the unseen newcomer.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to drop that needle and let the mare go.” Enigma, at that moment, was too frightened to correct the newcomer.

“Help!” he shouted hoarsely, his captor’s arm constricting his throat. At that moment, his captor spun them to face the voice’s owner, keeping the needle hovering near Enigma’s throat. The pony-in-distress took a look at who, he hoped, would be his rescuer as he struggled.

Standing before them was a light brown unicorn stallion with a dark blonde mane. He wore a light blue suit with a black vest and at his side he wore what looked like a gladius. The stallion was glaring at Enigma’s assailant with deep blue eyes. His strangest feature was his horn, which was broken clean in half.

“Prince Blueblood?” the unicorn said, “What do you think you are doing?!”

“As I said, this is none of your concern! Turn around and walk away. Now!” Blueblood said threateningly, giving Enigma’s neck another squeeze.

The pegasus became a little woozy from loss of blood to his brain. ...is that black at the edge of my vision? He blinked, his eyes sluggishly moving around the room. ...yeah...I think that is...

“I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t do that,” the stallion took a threatening step forward, “I’m going to have to ask you to let the mare go. Final warning, sir.” The gladius at his side became engulfed in a light brown aura and left its sheath to float before the determined stallion.

“One step closer and I stab him!” The corrupt pony threatened, bringing the needle even closer to the pegasus’ throat.

“You could,” the stranger said, “or this could happen.” When he finished speaking he twitched his head and something encased in his light brown aura shot out of a pocket in his vest. The object shot forward and buried itself in the foreleg restricting Enigma. Blueblood shrieked in pain and let his prey go, dropping the needle as he did so. As soon as he was free, the smaller stallion kicked the needle away with a yelp and dashed away from the imposing prince.

The burgundy pegasus coughed, gently rubbing his sore throat as he recovered from near asphyxiation. He glanced at his rescuer, frowning slightly, “...not...a mare...” he said hoarsely, but, of course, his rescuer did not hear.

When Enigma was clear of Blueblood, the newcomer rushed forward and swatted the fallen royal across the face with the flat of his sword. The blonde stallion reeled from the impact and when he moved to recover, he found the stranger’s hooves bucking him in the chest. The snooty unicorn flew back into a wall and slid to the ground. The stranger moved closer to Blueblood and the prince struggled to regain his hooves. The moment he was up, the stranger bashed him on the head with the pommel of his gladius. The prince hit the floor hard and became still, aside from the almost imperceptible rise and fall of his chest.

The burgundy pegasus carefully stepped over to his assailant, poking his side with a hoof. “Out cold... thank goodness...” He turned to the stranger, smiling gratefully. “Thank you. I shudder to think what would’ve happened if you hadn’t shown up.” He kept his mind blank, trying hard not to think about it.

“It’s no problem, ma'am,” the unicorn said. “Just happy to help.” The stallion reached down and picked up the object that had stabbed Blueblood’s foreleg.

Enigma sighed, trying his best to rub his snout to relieve his annoyance. “Not a mare...” He took a look at the object as the stallion held it, an eyebrow quirking in curiosity. “Is that... a pen knife?”

The stallion tucked the object away in his vest and said, “Why, yes. Yes it is.”

“Well, okay, then.” He cleared his throat, holding a hoof out and smiling. “Anyways, my name’s Enigma. What’s yours?”

The stallion sheathed his gladius and took the offered hoof, “Call me Pen Knife, Miss.”

The burgundy pegasus stared blankly at the other pony for a few seconds. “...pardon me one sec, Pen.” He promptly marched over to a wall and started smashing his head against it. After the first few smacks, a dent in the shape of his face had formed.

“Miss Enigma, I really don’t think you should do that....”

“NOT a MARE!” He rounded on the unicorn, eye twitching slightly. “Do I have to prove it to you by showing you my freaking stallionhood?!”

Pen Knife’s eyes widened in shock. “Oh, I am dreadfully sorry. No, there’s no need for that. I believe you!”

“Good.” The feminine stallion sighed, rubbing his snout. “...dang, that really smarts...”

“Well, I’m glad that you’re ok, Mr. Enigma.” Pen Knife nudged Blueblood with a hoof before continuing. “Well, I suppose that I’d better get this piece of garbage out of here. So much for my vacation...”

Enigma winced, rubbing the back of his neck. “...maybe I can get Vi to give you a free front-row seat to an upcoming concert? I mean, she has connections, after all.”

“Nope, only get so much vacation time a year,” the stallion said with a disappointed sigh. “And I’m going to have to use it up taking care of this ass.” He gestured to himself. “I work for Princess Luna and, as good a Princess as she may be, she’s not the best employer...”

“Ah.” The burgundy pegasus sheepishly smiled. “Sorry I ruined your vacation?”

“Not your fault, ma’a-, erm, Sir. Maybe another time.”

Enigma nodded, glancing at the unconscious stallion in front of him. Just seeing him caused his anger to flare up, and he kicked the poor excuse for life in the crotch. “Buck you!”

Seeing the pegasus about to go for another kick, Pen Knife grabbed his shoulder. “Woah, now! Kind of need him alive if I’m going to take him back to Canterlot to answer to the Princesses.”

He sighed, slumping a bit. “...I suppose you’re right...” He moved over to where the syringe had landed, a confused look on his face. “...what was he even planning to do with this thing?” He picked it up and put it in his saddlebag to figure out later.

“Well, I’m sure that you’ll figure it out eventually,” Pen Knife said. He walked over to a pile of rope near the curtains and used his gladius to cut a couple of lengths from it. He then trotted back to Blueblood and used the rope to tie his forelegs and hindlegs together.

The smaller pony shrugged, heading back towards the curtain. “I suppose you have things settled here. I hope you have a nice day, and, again, sorry about your vacation.”

“Again, it’s all right Mis-” He caught himself. “Um, Mr. E. It was fun while it lasted.” And with that, the unicorn picked up the unconscious Blueblood and flung him across his back. With a nod to Enigma, he trotted off over to the gaping hole in the backstage wall. As he disappeared through the hole, Enigma heard him begin to speak to somepony else.

“Well, fellas, looks like we’re going back to Canterlot early.” This was greeted by a few groans. “Sorry boys, but this piece of trash was picking on some poor mare and we have to take him back to the Princesses. The mare was a strange one, though. She thought she was a stallion...”

A rock promptly sailed through the hole and smacked the retreating stallion in the back of the head. “NOT A MARE!”

Pen Knife and several Lunar Guards that Enigma could see had joined him immediately picked up their pace and began galloping towards the train station, shouting back, “Whatever you say, lady!”

There was a loud cracking noise from above them and a large tree branch fell in their path. The rushing stallions were unable to stop themselves before Pen Knife and the other lead stallion tripped over the offending branch. The light brown unicorn picked himself up out of the jumble of fallen stallions and looked around for what had caused the branch to fall. At the point where it had broken off, there was a single rock embedded in the wood.

“Now where did that come from?” he said, curious. “Ah well, get up boys, we still have to take Blueballs here back to canterlot!” And with that the cluster of stallions picked themselves up and once more rushed off into the night.

Enigma shook his head, putting down the extra stone he’d picked up. “They deserved it.” He turned around, about to return to the party when a faint glimmer caught his eye. He leaned down to look at it, curious. ...this is where Blueblood landed...did he drop something?

He gingerly plucked one of his less important feathers, using it to lift up the foreign object, not wanting to chance what could happen from touching it. Walking over to a nearby table, he carefully lowered the item onto the desk. He grabbed a small magic-powered lamp out of his saddlebag and placed it near the item, turning it on and casting a light blue glow over his subject.

What he saw surprised him. “...this is...wow...” He picked up his feather once more, gently poking at the beauty mark-shaped object. “...so many wires...is this some kind of device? What is this thing supposed to do? And why is it so fami-”

He froze mid-sentence, his jaw dropping. “...no way...this is that thing I saw on Blueblood’s cheek!” He frowned deeply, putting a hoof to his chin. “...does this mean that it was a fake mole - something to try and make himself more desirable? If that’s the case, then what’s with all the wires?”

Unsure what to make of this, he wrote down as much as he could in a notepad and put everything except the strange device inside his saddlebag. As soon as he was done with that, he turned and walked through the curtains, returning to the party.

Enigma looked off into the crowd, scouring the area for anyone else he knew. So far, he’d met a lot of ponies from his past here, and had tons of fun along the way, but the party had only just started. He still had more guests to meet and chat with.

He was so busy staring off into the crowds, he didn’t notice a certain white mare walk up next to him.

“Hey, E,” Vinyl said as she stopped next to him, her trademark grin on her lips.

The red stallion jolted out of his half-trance as soon as he heard her voice, quickly turning to her. “Oh, hey Vi.” He smiled, hugging her close and tenderly nuzzling her cheek. As they separated, he let his eyes drift toward the crowd once more, his previous thoughts still on his mind.

She followed his line of sight to the other side of the room, trying to figure out what he was looking at. “E, what’re you looking for?” Vinyl furrowed her brow in slight confusion.

“Eh, I’m just looking for someone we may know.” Enigma shrugged, sheepishly smiling. “Wouldn’t want... to...” His voice trailed off as he noticed the look on his love’s face.

Vinyl squinted as she stared intently across the room. She had apparently ignored his words, too busy looking at something. “E, I think I see somepony...” She slowly made her way towards the other side of the room, passing pony after pony as she passed them. The feminine stallion soon followed, curious about who she’d seen.

Walking through the crowd, Enigma could only hear bits of congratulations and various greetings from the ponies around. He wished he could stop and chat, but he couldn’t get too far behind Vinyl or else he’d lose her.

On the opposite side of the room, a lone stallion stood. His body was a light-brown, and his mane resembled a lightning bolt, except there was a stripe of radioactive green above the yellow. On his flank was a microphone, almost hidden by the saddlebag on his back. He looked around warily for the sight of blue and white. He didn’t know where she could be, and trying to find her here proved fruitless.

Confused, he decided to ask the nearest pony he could find.

“Hey! Toxi!”

Out of the crowd, Vinyl Scratch pushed through the last wave of ponies into the surprisingly empty entrance to the party. She slowly walked towards the stallion, a wide grin on her face.

The surprised stallion turned his vision towards the voice. As his eyes met who was coming towards him, his expression quickly turned to one of glee. “Vinyl!” He trotted over to her, the smile still visible on his face. As he reached her, he reached out his hoof, to which she returned with a hoof-bump.

“Man, it’s been too long!” exclaimed Toxic as he continued to scan around the room slowly.

“Yeah, TOO long!” The white mare took a quick look back, looking for a certain stallion.

“Oh, and I got you a gift. And I wasn’t sure what to get, but I also brought... erm...” Toxic managed to stumble out. He wasn’t really sure who the spouse was as he only came to chat up with a friend and congratulate her.

“Enigma,” Vinyl stated matter-of-factly, still a little distracted by searching for the burgundy pegasus.

“Ahh, yes, Enigma!” Toxic reached his head back towards his bag, pulling out a moderately-sized white box with a red bow on top. He passed the gift to Vinyl before reaching back again and taking out a smaller blue box with a purple bow.

“Thanks, dude.” Vinyl took the boxes and placed them on the gift table next to the two, “So, how have things been?”

The brown stallion sighed slightly at the question, but regained his composure. “Heh, same old, same old...”

Then, as silently as Vinyl had snuck up to Enigma, he did the same too. “Hey Vi, who’s this?” The female-looking stallion pointed his dark red hoof towards Toxic Twist, who in return shared the same look of confusion. Enigma was partially happy to see a new face because to him, a friend of Vinyl was a friend of his.

“Oh, this is Toxic Twist, an old friend,” The disk jockey said matter-of-factly before turning her gaze back to the brown stallion, giving him a smile.

Toxic gave a slight nod and smirk before turning his attention towards Vinyl’s rust red companion and raising his hoof out to him. “Oh, and you must be...”

“Enigma, my fiance” interrupted Vinyl.

Twist took a quick glance between the pair of ponies before furrowing his brow and growing confused. Something seemed off to him. He thought he had maybe heard something unusual to him, but he chalked it up to mishearing.

“Um, could you say that again?” he managed to stumble out.

Vinyl mentally face-hoofed at Toxics’ incompetence. “I’m going to marry Enigma.”

This time, he was sure about what he had heard, and he was utterly confused at this point.

“Erm, Vinyl... I thought you told me you were...” Toxic whimpered out, afraid of insulting Vinyl or her fiancee. “You never told me you were into mares...”

At this remark, Enigma sighed heavily. He had heard that many, many times, and it never ceased. “I’m not a mare.”

“O-oh, I’m so sorry, I-”

Before Toxic could stutter out what he had to say, Enigma interrupted him, holding up a hoof. “No, no, it’s fine. I get it a lot...at least four times today, in fact.”

Toxic Shuffled his hooves in an embarrassed manner for a few seconds before glancing up to Vinyl, who just stared back awkwardly. He then moved his gaze up to the feminine stallion, who shared the same stare.

Enigma, feeling the awkwardness of the situation and wanting to diffuse it, took a good look at the other stallion before him, and Vinyl’s supposed old friend. He took a look at his bag, the place around him, and then... his cutie mark.

“Hey,” said Enigma, attempting to start a conversation, “what’s your cutie mark for?”

“Ah!” exclaimed Toxic, looking back at his flank. “It’s supposed to be a voice acting cutie mark.” He loved his cutie mark a lot. Ever since he got it, he had been amazing his friends and classmates with all the ways he could manipulate his voice. It was what he had always wanted to do, and he was living the dream.

Enigma was pleasantly surprised to see that there was someone known for voice-work, rather than all those singers with microphone cutie marks. Enigma then took a small look around to see if anyone had any microphone cutie marks out of curiosity. Sadly, there was no one around with that mark. “So, do you have a job as a voice actor?” asked Enigma.

The stallion thought on this for a moment. He had multiple small jobs, but he did have a daily job he loved very much. “Oh, I host Ponyville Live! I actually had Vinyl as a guest on the show once,” answered Toxic, a smile on his face. He was proud to say he was wealthily living with a great job that he loved a lot. Not everypony could say that, sadly.

The burgundy stallion thought for a bit, turning to the aforementioned pony, curious. “When exactly was this?”

She shrugged, smiling brightly. “I think I’d just started out, E.” She turned to the other stallion, blushing a bit in embarrassment. “I can’t remember exactly how long ago it was, though...when was it again, Toxi?”

The spiky-maned stallion thought on that for a moment. He reached his left foreleg to his chin and tilted his head slightly, allowing his eyes to trail to the air. It had been well over a year since he had had Vinyl on the show, and that was when she was becoming known. He had been the host of the radio show for a little over 4 years, despite his age, and he hadn’t seen Vinyl for years before now.

“I’d have to say... close to three or four years...” said Toxic, looking up thoughtfully. “Long time...”

It suddenly hit him. He had been so pent up with his work that he hadn’t seen one of his closest friends for years. The brown stallion removed his gaze from the thin air and back down to the white mare before him, ignoring the pony next to her.

But as soon as it started, the brown stallion leaped out of his trance. He had been growing slowly nostalgic, missing those old days at the park and in the trash-filled streets playing hopscotch. But he knew that that didn’t matter anymore, because now he was facing her right now, along with a bunch of other ponies and characters around them that he could hang out with after a hard day’s work or a fun weekend.

“Hey, Toxi, you okay?” Vinyl said, ripping the mentioned stallion from his train of thought. “You’ve been staring blankly for close to a minute.”

Toxic reached his hoof up to back of his neck before scratching the back of his head and smiling nervously. “Yeah, sorry. Just growing a bit nostalgic.”

Vinyl smirked in his direction. “Well, you don’t need to think of that now, dude,” she said warmly. “The past is the past. We’re all here now, and we’re all friends.”

The brown stallion closed his eyes and looked to the ground momentarily before raising his head and giving a genuine smile. He felt as if he could take on anything now and nothing could put a damper on his parade. He managed to meet up with an old friend, make a new one in the process, and now it was time to meet some more.

“Well, this has been a fairly great conversation, but I think I should walk around and meet some people.” said Toxic as he took a quick glance around the area. “It was really great seeing you again, and to meet you, Enigma.” He then finished it off by giving Vinyl a small hug and shaking his hoof with Enigma.

Vinyl couldn’t help but smile, seeing her old friend happy, now. “Well it was great seeing you again, Toxi. Hopefully the three of us could hang out more often”

The stallion smiled brightly at this before turning away from them and waving as he began to walk away, before stopping suddenly. “Oh, and Vinyl? I think you’ll like your present.”

He then continued on his way into the crowd before disappearing into the sea of colors before them.

Vinyl thought on Toxic’s words for a moment before looking back to the gift table, and picking up the familiarly wrapped gift. She slowly removed the red ribbon from the box before she noticed her fiance walk away slowly. “Where are you going, E?”

Enigma stopped in his tracks, turning back to look at the white disk jockey. “Oh, I was just gonna go say hi to some ponies. I’m sure that present’s personal, anyways.” The burgundy stallion smiled and turned back, continuing his walk and disappearing into the crowd like the brown pony before him.

The curious mare continued to unwrap the gift. I wonder what’s in here... As she removed the bow, she placed it on the table next to her. She ripped the wrapping paper off the box with less care, placing it with the bright red ribbon.

Sitting before her now was an old cardboard box. On the side read, “Musick” in old, terrible handwriting with what looked like a black marker. For some reason, it seemed to be familiar. Slowly, she used her magic to lift the cover off the dank box.

Inside was a simple, worn, white record sleeve, and looked like it had been through a lot of crap in the meantime. On the front read ‘the Vinyl and Toxic Album’ in practically illegible hoof-writing.

She knew exactly what this was. It was the album the two of them had made after they had both gotten their cutie marks. She couldn’t remember how good it was or even what they’d recorded, but she knew she had to listen to it sometime soon. Vinyl gave a smirk and a light chuckle before carefully placing the record sleeve back into the cardboard box and putting the lid on the top. She placed the box on the gift table for later, discretely lowering her shades over her watery eyes. “...thanks, Toxi...”

The white unicorn turned and mingled with the crowd, determined to make this the best night ever. She was hard-pressed to find a way to make it better, though.

A Few Hours Earlier

"This is your last chance." growled the dark unicorn, staring down at his restrained guest. Yes, guest...makes me seem more ‘hospitable’ that way.

"That what you said the last five minutes ago. And 10. And maybe even 15." The dark red pony smirked, knowing that he was pushing .

Sombra blinked. "S-Shut up! I mean this time, little girl."

He sighed softly, shaking his head. "Now, you see, I'm not a ma-"

"QUIET!" Sombra rose and slapped the poor pony across the face, knocking him down. "Do you realize just how much I have suffered today? Of all the ponies, I had to be stuck with YOU. Do you even hear yourself?"

"Yeah. I believe so. What of it?" The pegasus smiled again. He could see that Sombra was losing it.

The conqueror marched back and forth, ranting at the pony. "You sound awful! You whine and cry over every stinking thing! The chains! The smell! MY HAIRCUT?!"

"I'm not whining. I'm complaining. ThIS Is WhINiNG!!" The feminine stallion purposefully made his voice loud and annoying. He paused a moment, thinking a bit “To be fair, though, your mane is pretty strange for a unicorn. You ever thought of taking a job as an indoor flag?”

"AND YOUR DUMB OVERUSED JOKES! See this knife? This one here that levitating?" Sombra pointed his new knife in his guest's face. "Listen here. I am THIS close to running you through. Murdering you right now for your insolence. But. I can't. Because the boss would be mad. So here's something instead."

Before the poor pony could even move, Sombra brought down his knife and jabbed it into his cheek. He screamed as Sombra tugged his knife slowly through his cheek, laughing mercilessly as he did. "YES! FEEL IT! FEEL THE PAIN YOU PUT ME THROUGH!! AHAHAHA!! HAAAAAAA!"

"You know, I'm surprised."

Sombra froze. He quickly pulled the knife from Enigma's face, making the colt scream in protest even louder. "Um, Nightmare. How's it going?"

"You were the most collected of all of us and yet here you are, mutilating this child's face. Clearly, you failed at this job. Get some rest. I will handle this."

"Rest? REST?! THANK YOU, OH MY GOD! THANK. YOU. SO LONG, YA CRAZY BASTARD!! AHAHA!!" Sombra almost did cartwheels out the room.

"I don't even know with that guy. Now then, little mare. I'm going to talk to you."

The steadfast pegasus held back his tears. “...not...a mare...” He raised his head, watching as a sphere in front of him lit up, showing him town hall.

Author's Note

Okay, so this has been a long endeavor. I’m not even gonna try to type out which OC’s belong to who, so I’m just gonna put my master list of OC’s here.

Guest List:

Cinnamon Shy (Raybony)

Night Flyer (Lazypoisonfl)

Broadway Bound (runforever101)

Crimson Capp (CaptainSanchez)

Night Drawing (Nite Sky)

Quillflare Feathertouch (Corrupted Spirit)

Bronzehearth (TheJakemeister)

Pen Knife (The Republican Brony)

Toxic Twist (munomana)

Performer List:

Lyrical (gordobraveheart) vs. Gilda

Moonfeather (Echothewolf) vs. Rainbow Dash

Captain Jolly Roger (Jolly Roger) vs. Shining Armor

Dawn Jewel (ForeverFreest) vs. Filthy Rich

Spot Light (Spot Light) vs. Enigma

I hope that the last section will help you understand why my ‘OC’ acted like he did earlier. :raritywink:

Also, anyone who can name all of the references in this chapter will win a cookie. :derpytongue2: And yes, there are a bunch of ship-teases in here, but they’re mostly there to gauge audience reactions. :moustache:

Anyways, I’m certain you all have questions after this, and the Q&A Chapter will be coming out next! Any questions you’d like to have answered will be if you send them in. :scootangel: Any that aren’t are likely to be answered in the next chapter! :ajsmug:

Also, thanks to SuperChaosKG for making that last scene for me!~ :pinkiehappy:

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Q&A #3 Pt. 1

The lights come up, revealing a green unicorn sitting behind the desk. He blinks at the bright lights a bit, confused.

“Psst, dude!” A voice calls from offstage, causing the pony to turn towards it. “That’s your cue!” A white mare walks on, giving a half-frown. “You aren’t traumatized by the spell Twi cast, are you?” She places a hoof on his forehead, making sure not to touch his horn.

The unicorn resists the urge to lean away from the mare as he responds, “Surprisingly enough, no. I’ll probably freak out a bit later on, but I’m fine for now.” He looks around again. “It’s all still a bit surreal to be honest. What with the whole ‘pulled from your dimension to host a show where alternate-dimension versions of some ponies you know and others you don’t answer questions’ thing.”

She shrugs, sitting on the desk while facing him. “Well, I’ve been tugged around many other dimensions, myself. Not to host a show, but still. Tell you what.” She leaps off the desk, flipping backwards and landing perfectly on one of the guest chairs. “I’ll be the first pony you’ll ask. You know, help you get a feel for this universe. Sound good?”

He smiles, “I would very much appreciate that Miss Scratch.”

“Hey, hey, call me Vi. ‘Miss Scratch’ makes me feel old. I’m only twenty four!” She huffs slightly, crossing her forehooves over her chest and slouching down in the chair. “Question me, Rhiny.”

He blinks silently for a moment, “Rhiny? That’s a new one.” He shakes it off, “Alright then, Vi, mind if I ask you something before we start everything then?”

She tilts her head, readjusting the rifle on her back when it whacks her in the head. “Sorry ‘bout that, and sure. What do you want to ask me?”

“Why are the question cards on a ring that’s chained to the desk?” He rattles said chain for emphasis.

Vinyl rubs the back of her head, sheepishly smiling. “Well, see, when E hosted, he’d fling cards when he was done with them.” She pushes her shades up her nose, hiding her eyes. “Let’s just say that they’re more dangerous than we originally thought.”

“Ah... I see.” He moves his black and blue mane out of his face, “Well, enough delaying, shall I do the introduction, or do you want to?”

She waves a gestures a hoof at him, smiling brightly. “You can. You’re the host, after all.” She turns to the pony behind the camera, giggling. “Ready to roll the camera?”

The pegasus steps out slightly, quirking a brow at them. “It’s been running for about two minutes, now.”

“Urk!” The stallion blanches. He clears his throat and faces the camera. “Sorry about that, everypony! Good day and welcome to the third Q and A show for Epic Rap Battles of MLP! I’m your alternate dimensional host, Rhino, and with me is our first guest, Vinyl Scratch.” He gestures to the mare.

She pumps a hoof into the air, beaming brightly. “Yo! What’s up, everypony?”

Rhino shuffles through the cards, “Looks like we’ve got quite a few for you, Vi. First up:”

Has Enigma ever taken you flying?

Rhino

Vinyl stares at him, an amused smirk on her face. “That’s interesting. You seem to have your name on the first question of the show.” She giggles, waving a hoof in the air. “But I digress. Enigma has taken me flying...if catching me while I was falling counts.”

“To some, I suppose it might.” He looks at the next question, “Another one from the ‘other’ me it seems:”

What is your favorite snack?

Rhino

She laughs, not even trying to hide her mirth. “Dude, that’s rich!” She forces herself to calm down, a hoof covering her mouth. “I’d say cheese tortellini. Though that’s more of a meal, isn’t it? Snack, snack...” She rubs her chin, thinking a bit. “I guess I’d say cheese and crackers with some lemonade. That’s always a nice thing to eat between meals.” She turns to him, a playful smile on her lips. “What about you, Rhiny? Or would you prefer Rhy?”

Rhino shrugs, “No preference really, my name is so short that I haven’t really had many nicknames. If I had to pick a snack though, I would definitely say strawberry applesauce.”

“...I’ve never really heard of that before. As for the nickname situation, I suppose that’s fair.” She shrugs slightly. “Though, to be honest, I prefer calling you Rhy. Rhy rhymes with a few other nicknames I’ve given others - Vi, Twi, ‘Shy, and some I can’t remember right now.”

He waves a hoof, “By all means, ‘Rhy’me away.”

She frowns slightly at him, lowering her shades. “Dude. I do the bad puns around here.”

Rhino maintains a straight face. “I blame Volt’s influence, puns are pretty much his thing. I guess it rubs off.”

She giggles, smacking his shoulder playfully. “Hey, it’s fine - I was just kidding, anyways. So, what’s the next question?”

“Here we are:”

Vinyl, Would you ever consider doing your mane in an alternate style? Maybe something like Octavia’s?

Rhino

“Hat trick!” She throws her hooves up in the air, grinning brightly.

Rhino tilts his head to the side, “Hat trick?”

Vinyl’s smile falters slightly, and she sighs softly. “Sorry, sports term. Anyways, no, I’ve never considered that. Don’t know why I’d want to, either. No offense to Tavi, but I like my mane as it is.” She taps a hoof against one of the carefully-styled spikes of her mane. If sitting backwards in front of a blaring speaker counted as ‘carefully-styling’.

She looks over at him, eyes narrowing slightly. “Your mane looks a lot like hers, now that I think about it. Just...shorter in the back and longer in the front. And darker, definitely darker.”

The stallion looks at the small part of his mane he can see in front of his eyes, “Thanks I guess. Alright, next question:”

Vinyl: Can you tell us what made you want to create a portable version of the bass cannon? I'm sure something must have driven you to create such weapons.

raybony

“Oh, that was easy.” She giggles, pulling the long metal weapon off her back. She holds it up so the pony in front of her can see it clearly. “The Bass Cannon was too bulky. These are not only streamlined, but altered just enough to work for more than just a unicorn.” She averts her eyes, muttering to herself. “...I will not lose in a Death Battle again...” She passes it over to him, letting him get a better look.

Rhino’s eyes gain an analytical spark to them as he slowly observes the weapon. He mutters half to himself and half to Vinyl as he looks, “Fascinating use of runes. Sound amplification and direction of course but the fact that you actually use it to project music also astounds me. Much more elegant than I first thought it would be.” He passes the gun back to her. “I could spend a day or more looking at that, but let’s not tempt me while we are under a time limit.”

“Glad you approve, dude.” She takes it, returning it to the sling on her back. “Let’s move on, shall we?”

“We shall:”

Vinyl: So what is the next step for the Dubstep Guns? Maybe create an instrument weapon? I'm sure that it would be quite useful for some adventurous musician.

raybony

She looks at him for a few moments, considering that idea. “...you know, I haven’t thought of that before.” She leans back in her seat, focusing at a random spot on the ceiling. “I suppose I could. Maybe if I start off with a lyre, I could figure out exactly what applied magics can do when applied to music that isn’t dubstep.” She sighs, rolling her eyes. “I’d ask if Tavi would allow me to tinker with her cello, but she is fiercely protective of that thing.”

Rhino nods, “Personally I find it best to test new arrangements on spare items, not important ones. Just in case the unexpected happens. I know more things I’ve tried have come apart or blown up when I wasn’t careful than I’d care to admit.”

She giggles, tapping his forehead playfully. “You and I are a lot alike, dude. Doubt you broke her instrument and set it on fire...then forgot about it in the morning.” She grimaces, turning her head away.

He smirks, “Bet you haven’t forgot it since then.”

“You can say that again.” She waves her hoof dismissively. “Enough about that, though. Let’s get to the next question, ne?”

“Next up:”

Vinyl: If you had to choose between Playing Music and E, which one would you give up?

raybony

“...That’s...not even a difficult question. I’d choose E.” She blushes a little, looking offstage. “...Where is he, anyways? He was supposed to be here to meet you...”

The stallion reassures her, “Don’t worry, I’m sure he’s fine. Stuff happens that makes ponies late. Continuing:”

Vinyl, what’s gonna happen with you and E now?

GeneralPoopTickler

She blushes even more, carefully clearing her throat and sliding her iconic shades on over her eyes before responding. “Well, hopefully our relationship will continue to grow, even after...well, you know.” Her horn lights up and zaps the card, evaporating it. “Next question, please?”

The stallion brushes the ashes off the desk, “Glad I was using magic to hold those and not my hooves or mouth... Seems no matter where you are, celebrity couples never have enough privacy. Anyway, next- wow they are really nosy aren’t they?”

This is for Vinyl, so you finally have Enigma to be with you, got any plans for the future, and how are you naming your foals, if you get any?

raybony

Her shades slide off her nose, revealing a magenta eye twitching slightly. “I’d name my firstborn ‘None-o’-Yer-Business’.” She turns to the other unicorn, frowning deeply. “Rhiny, how many more of my questions are like that?” She reaches towards her back, resting a hoof on the reassuring cold mythril there.

He chuckles nervously as he moves the cards away from him so he isn’t in the line of fire, “Well... all of them. Pretty much all just as personal and devoid of shame, though nothing explicit thankfully.”

She grits her teeth, trying to calm herself down. “What.... do they say?”

He holds up a hoof. “If I might make a suggestion, save the gun for afterwards and we can launch the bad ones like clay birds for you to practice your aim on. I would really prefer not to be near something that has you this mad. Some of our viewers might need a translation for this next one:”

Ay yo Vinyl: Why you been trippin' on some foolishness to da point where you had ta Pinkie Promise to hook up wit E, ma ni-- uh... I mean Equine?

TPurnell18

Rhino sticks his tongue out, “Bleh, not a fan of talking with that accent.”

“I was too nervous to ask him out. The fear of breaking a Pinkie Promise outweighed that nervousness.” Vinyl sits still, her eyes on the last card. “And that one?”

“I’ll be honest, I’m not sure whether you should be insulted by this one or not:”

Hey Vinyl, everypony sees you as a party hard, play hard kind of pony, one that does not stay still, so how does it feel to be married and to shock us all by doing so?

Demon Pie

“Engaged, not married!” She rips all three intrusive questions off the chain with her magic and flings them into the air, smoothly drawing her V-Rifle. “And it feels better than these cards will, mutha-”

BOOM!

A blast of lightning and dubstep shoots out of the gun, disintegrating all three of the cards at once. The recoil causes her and the chair to fall backwards, landing with a loud thud.

Vinyl leaps up, grinning wildly. “WOO! Now that was a rush! I’ve even forgotten why I was angry.” She turns to him, her smile never faltering. “How about you?”

Rhino’s ears twitch from the ringing due to the blast as he shakily smiles, “I think my rush was more terror than excitement, but yes, that was a rush. Thankfully, those were the last of your solo questions... and thankfully for the questioners you don’t know where any of them live...”

She shrugs, giggling a bit. “Yeah, I suppose I overreacted. Anyways, good luck with the rest of the questions and guests~” She trots offstage, leaving him by himself.

Rhino brings a thermos out from under the table and takes a sip as he looks over the cards again. “Well that went better than expected... and yet worse.” He shrugs, turning back to the camera, “Alright, next up we have the prismatic rain-boomer herself. The one, the only, Miss Rainbow Dash!”

The mare in question flies into the room, purposefully performing a few tricks before settling in her seat. “Yes, no need to say anything. I know I’m awesome.” She glances at the stallion, her brow furrowing in confusion. “Who are you?”

He tilts his head in her direction, “My name is Rhino. It is very nice to meet you again for the first time Miss Dash.”

She stares blankly at him. “What the hay are you talking about?”

His eyes widen in understanding, “Ah right, only some of you know. Suffice to say, I’m here because of various dimension crossing shenanigans.”

“Uh huh.” She rolls her hoof at him, an unamused look on her face. “You got questions for me or what, Rhinestone?”

Rhino grumbles to himself as he gets the question, “Another new nickname.. don’t like this one nearly as much...” He clears his throat, “The first question is:”

Rainbow Dash: I half-expect you to be getting a visit from a certain someone regarding what happened at a certain academy *cough* Lightning Dust *cough* Would you be ready for a battle if she challenged you to one? I mean, considering how well (or maybe not) you did against Twilight... ah, I think you could do it.

TPurnell18

“Lightning Dust?” She scoffs, waving her hoof dismissively. “She’s learned her lesson - she got demoted to Wingpony, and Spitfire gave her a stern warning. She wouldn’t risk her spot again.” She pauses, putting a hoof to her chin. “...I think I strayed from the question. Anyways, yeah, I think I’d be ready for any rap battles that come my way.”

“Alright, this is the other one:”

Rainbow Dash: I thought Pinkie Invited Everyone in ponyville. Why were you practicing new tricks instead of attending the party?

raybony

“Oh, that. Yeah, I had to leave the party for a bit to clear my mind.” She shrugs. “Not gonna share what was on it, though.”

Rhino sets down the cards, “That’s your business, so if you want to keep it secret, that’s fine.”

“Thanks.” She stands up, bumping her hoof against the unicorn’s shoulder. “You know, you aren’t that bad. I just snapped earlier because of...actually, I’m not entirely sure why.” She leaves, wondering out loud. “Maybe it has something to do with that week I can’t remember? Stupid heat...”

Rhino acts like he didn’t hear that last part, though the small flush in his face says otherwise. “Well, not the worst reaction I’ve gotten from a version of her. It’s still weird seeing a friend and having them not know who I am.”

A gray mare pops up behind him, hugging him excitedly. “Hiya! You’re new, right?”

“Gah!” Rhino jumps from the unexpected hug, causing himself, the mare, and his chair to fall over backwards behind the desk.

Two faces hover above him, three golden eyes fixed on him while the fourth looked at a nearby wall. The one on the right opens her mouth. “Hey, are you okay?”

The host is silent as he slowly gets up, rights his chair and sits back down, looking at the pegasi. After a moment he responds, “Just a bit startled, though may I ask: changelings, illusions, clones, or siblings?”

The one on the left answers, keeping one eye focused on him. “Twins. Derpy’s a minute older, though.”

“Ditzy got most of the cuteness, as a result.” She sticks her tongue out playfully at her sister, causing them both to laugh at the silliness.

Rhino chuckles as the oddness wears off, “Well, the more the merrier, I guess. To answer the hugging question: Yes, I am new, and it’s very nice to meet both of you. My name is Rhino, a fact that would have been much easier to avoid repeating if they gave me a nametag or something.”

The mare with the crossed eyes speaks up, grinning brightly. “Nice to meet you, Rhino. I’m Ditzy Doo.”

“And I’m Derpy Hooves!” The other pegasus, who was a shade darker than her sister, says, moving to sit on the couch. Her twin quickly joins her, and they both look at him. “I think you have a question for one of us?”

He looks down at the cards, “Right, this one is for Miss Hooves:”

To Derpy: How did you meet the Doctor?

Cloud-Runner

Derpy blinks, looking at her sister. “What are they talking about?”

She sighs, shaking her head slightly. “They got us confused again.” She turns to the stallion, smiling softly. “I was just a little filly when I first met him. He just arrived in this blue police box and asked me if I had anything to eat.” She laughs, thinking back to that night. “He went through different foods before finally settling on leek sticks and custard. He left almost immediately, and every night for ten years I waited in my backyard, waiting for him to show back up. Eventually, he did.”

“Hmm, not sure if this should remind me of a romance story or a science fiction one. I guess it depends on what he is to you.” He looks at the twins again. “Does the ‘being mistaken for your sister thing’ happen often?”

“Yes.” They answer him at the same time.

One of them whispers into the other’s ear, causing her to panic. “Oh, Featherweight! I forgot about him!” She speeds off, leaving behind the lighter-toned mare.

“This has been fun, Rhino. And hey, if you’re still here tomorrow, maybe we could hang out a bit?” She giggles, smiling innocently at him.

He smiles back, “Sounds good, Ditzy! I’m looking forward to it.”

She leaves the stage just as a chestnut stallion walks in, a confused look on his face. “This is odd. I could’ve sworn this was where they kept the English muffins.”

The cross-eyed mare pokes her head back in, her cheeks puffed out indignation. “Traitor.” With that, she pops back out, leaving an embarrassed earth pony and a confused unicorn in her wake.

Rhino recovers his composure as he remarks, “Well, that was interesting. Sweet mares though.” He looks to the earth stallion, “Do you need some help, sir?”

“No, I don’t think so.” The pony looks around once more. “Frankly, I feel like I should be here. Have you seen anything unusual lately?” He pulls out a silver stick, pointing it at the unicorn. He glances at it before turning back to the other stallion. “Strike that, where did you come from?”

Rhino tilts his head at the odd question, “Parallel universe, you?”

“A planet called Gallopfrey, but that’s not important.” He sits down in a guest chair, a ponderous look on his face. “So, I figure there’s a reason Miss Sparkle instructed me to come in here. If it’s not for English muffins, then I’m at a loss for ideas.”

Rhino looks down at his cards, “Probably to answer questions. At least, that’s what this whole strange time has been about so far. Let’s see... you don’t look like a ‘Braeburn’ or ‘Pinchy’ so... might you be ‘the Doctor?’”

“Ah, that’s me.” He smiles, nodding politely. “May I ask what the question is?”

The unicorn flips through the cards again, “Ah, here we are:”

This is for the Doctor, why did you have to take away your Timelord part, were you being followed by some kind of evil spirit or something? And if this can cause some kind of time paradox domehicky, then say it in some way that it won't affected, even if it is a bunch of nonsense to us.

raybony

“Well, that’s a bit of a tricky question. You see, I had to keep myself hidden until I was needed. If Discord’s Weeping Pegasi had caught me, there’s no telling how powerful he would have become.” He places a hoof on his chin, thoughtful. “You see, when one of the Pegasi makes a pony travel through dimensions, the amount of time they’re gone from their own universe, as well as any interactions they have, cause chaos, feeding his pool of energy and thus making him stronger. Hopefully that makes sense to everyone.”

Rhino shrugs, “Well, not sure what Weeping Pegasi are, but hopefully my dimension hopping has less consequences than the variant you’re talking about. Let’s look at the next one:”

This is for the Doctor, where did you get the experience to rap battle, had some lessons from Enigma maybe?

raybony

“Ah, that’s a really good question.” He shrugs, chuckling a bit. “To be fair, I did get lessons, but not from Enema.”

“ENIGMA!”

“Sorry, I can never get that name right.” He coughs, blushing a bit in embarrassment. “Anyways, I learned from Derpy. She was really nice about it, as well.”

The host puts a hoof to his chin in thought, “Hmm, never would have seen her as a rapper, but I suppose anypony can have hidden talents.” He looks to the Doctor, “Anyway, it appears those were the only questions we had for you Doctor, thank you very much for dropping by and answering them.”

“Not a problem. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think Ditzy has made some muffins for me.” He nods, quickly getting up and leaving the stage.

Rhino brings out his thermos again and sips. He looks through the cards before huffing lightly and talking to the camera, “Before we bring up our next guest, I hope the audience doesn’t mind while I go ahead and take care of something to avoid answering the same question over and over.” His horns glows as his name is scribed in glowing green script in the air above and behind him. “Maybe that will help. Alright, next up we have a Mr. Braeburn.” He raises his voice at the name of the guest so that they can hear him backstage.

The yellow stallion walks in, looking up at the words in midair. “Ah reckon yer a magic whiz?” He sits down, an eyebrow quirked.

“In a manner of speaking I suppose, it’s part of my talent.” He gestures to Braeburn, “Surely some consider you a ‘whiz’ in certain things as well?”

“Well, Little Strongheart considers me a whiz in-” He cuts himself off, closing his mouth tightly. “Never mind. I grow and sell apples and apple accessories. I like to think I’m just as good as my cousin at it.”

Rhino nods, “Gotta love family skills. Although, truthfully, I’ve never fully understood the concept of ‘apple accessories.’”

“Neither do Ah, but Granny Smith says it’s important.” He shrugs, glancing at the cards. “So you say ya have some questions fer me?”

He nods, “That Ah do:”

Braeburn, how'd the honeymoon go so far?

Jolly Roger

“Ah’ll answer that question after ya answer mine - what was up with copyin’ my accent?” He stares at him, not angry but confused.

Rhino cringes slightly as he realizes what he did, “Mah apologies. It’s... just a quirk of mine really. Ah can’t really control it that well. Ah don’t mean anythin’ by it.”

“Ah see.” He nods, smirking a bit. “That makes sense. Anyways, the honeymoon went well, and we’re still doin’ well together. So there’s that.”

“Glad ta hear it. Next:”

This is for Braeburn, how did it feel when you got accepted into the tribe of the buffaloes and getting to marry Strongheart?

raybony

“It was amazin’, t’say the least.” He smiles, a distant look in his eyes. “They didn’t even mind me misplacin’ the Dreamcatcher. Ah didn’t expect that at all.”

Rhino smiles and lightly chuckles at the glassy-eyed stallion, “Sounds like ya picked a winner then. Hope you two stay happy. Here’s th’ last of ‘em:”

Braeburn, what are your thoughts on the fact that when your wife gets older, she’ll be twice your size?

Rhino

“Ah don’t mind.” He chuckles, tipping his hat down a bit. “Ah suppose Ah’ll find out how it works in th’ bedroom, but that’s a long time comin’.”

“Ignoring the double meaning there. Looks like those were all the questions we had for ya. Thank ya for ya time.” Rhino tips an imaginary hat at the yellow stallion.

He laughs, bumping a hoof against the other pony. “No problem, fella! Now, if ya excuse me, Ah have a buffalo waitin’ fer me at home.” He gets up, quickly leaving the studio through an emergency exit at the back of the set.

“‘Buffalo gals, won’t you come out tonight?’ Why would they when the stallions come to them?” Rhino laughs at his own joke as he ruffles through the cards again, “Our next guest is... Pinkie Pie!”

“Hiya!” The pink mare pops out from underneath the cushion for one of the chairs. “Wanna slice of apple pie?” She holds out a plate with the delicious dessert on it.

Rhino seems unphased by the appearance, “Yes please.” He levitates the plate over to himself and nips a piece off with magic. “Did you want some?”

“No thanks! I had a big breakfast!” She sits down on the overturned cushion, smiling brightly. “You have a question for me, Rhiny-Shiny?”

The unicorn stops chewing abruptly at the nickname, but soon returns to eating. He swallows before speaking, “That I do Miss Pie:”

I have a question for Pinkie Pie: with all these rap battles going on, for the victors, do you throw a party for everypony that wins them?

Demon Pie

“Of course!” She laughs, leaping onto the back of the chair somehow without tipping it over. “I’m glad they took a few weeks off a while back, though. My party budget was starting to run out!” She points out the window at the back of the room. “I almost had to make a huge pie just to resupply it!”

“How would making a giant pie resupply your party budget?”

“Well, I did it once before to get more cupcake money. The internet is a marvelous thing!” She giggles, bouncing away. “See you at the party! Of course, I’m not sure you need to meet everypony again, but everypony should have the chance to meet you, since you’re from another dimension!”

Rhino finishes up the pie before remarking, “Still makes good deserts, still very random, and still exacerbates my lack of comfort at large social gatherings. Alright it looks like next up we have-” He stops suddenly, eyes widening as he rereads the card before taking out the thermos, drinking a swig, and leaving it on the desk this time. “Ahem, next up, we have Miss Fluttershy.”

A head peeks out from behind one of the lounge chairs, teal eyes filled with worry. “...um...h-hi.” She carefully steps around the seat, nervously sitting down in the chair. She glances at the name in the air, visibly relaxing.

Rhino, on the other hoof, tenses the instant the pegasus comes on stage and shows no sign of it going away as he looks at her before looking away, “Welcome Miss Fluttershy, and thank you for being here.”

“Oh, it’s my pleasure.” She smiles softly at him. “Vinyl told me you were a nice pony. A-anyways, you have a question for me, right?”

He takes another drink before he responds, his tension lessening but still present in both stance and voice, “Actually, from what I’m seeing, you have more questions than any other guest. Seems the questioners have a favorite, or at the very least, they find you interesting.”

“O-oh my.” She blushes slightly, hiding behind her pink mane. “I-I suppose I’ll have to answer some questions, then...I only expected two, at the most.” She glances at his thermos, confused. “What is that, Rhino?”

He looks to the thermos, “Milk, actually.”

She tilts her head, curious. “So milk calms you down? Why are you nervous? I-if you don’t mind me asking.”

He sips the drink again, “To the first question: yes, I suppose it does. Also the act of drinking itself gives my mind something else to focus on besides whatever the cause of the nervousness is. As for that cause...” He trails off and looks at her again, “Suffice to say Miss, the circumstances of my being here mean I have certain reactions to certain things. It’s nothing against you, it’s just an unfortunate side effect.” He shakes his head and comes out of it with a small smile.

“I think I understand.” She smiles softly, nodding a bit. “Um, maybe we should get to the questions before somepony gets upset?” She glances offstage at a tall dark pony, who was glaring at them impatiently.

Rhino nods, “Yes I suppose we should.” He gives the dark pony a glare of his own, “And if certain ponies do get upset, they will take it up with me, and not this guest. Understand?”

“You’re treading on thin ice.” The midnight-black alicorn turns away, walking toward the snack table.

He turns towards the butter pegasus, “My apologies for that, let’s move on to the questions so things can hopefully be more pleasant:”

Question for Fluttershy: With your alter egos of F.S. Braveheart and Glaze, have you considered that you might have multiple personality disorder?

KenSES64

“Oh, it’s not multiple personality disorder. I just prefer aliases when I do something rather...bold.” She giggles a little, blushing softly. “After all, most ponies wouldn’t associate me with adventure stories or dubstep.”

Rhino smiles at her giggle, “Like I said earlier, hidden talents. Next up, and forewarning to you, I’m sorry if the questioners aren’t very tactful:”

Also, my question for Fluttershy is "Why exactly are you so shy? Did you have some sort of traumatizing event in your past?"

xXSilverLiningXx

She is silent for a few moments, staring down at her hooves. “...I’d...rather not talk about it...i-if that’s alright with you...”

He speaks softly, “Oh, I’m perfectly fine with that.” He sighs, “Unfortunately, it is not up to me.” Rhino looks offstage.

Vinyl pokes her head out. “She can skip it. She really doesn’t like thinking about her past that much.”

The stallion brightens, “Excellent, moving on then:”

Fluttershy: Will you be a participant in a rap battle anytime soon? I mean, I know you got it in you to spit hot fire, but would you be willing?

TPurnell18

She taps her chin, thinking a bit. “I’m not sure. It’s definitely been a while, but I don’t like upsetting ponies like that.” She smiles, looking at her friend. “I will be DJ’ing a rap battle sometime soon, though. That’s always fun.”

Rhino nods absentmindedly as he gets out the next question, “Amazing how many ponies rap here. Next up:”

How do you get your mane the way you do?

Rhino

She stares blankly at him, confused. “...I...wake up? I don’t really need to style my mane...it naturally looks this way.”

The stallion cracks a momentary smile, “Sorry ladies, no beauty secrets today. Here we go:”

Fluttershy: Why did you name your DJ persona after a doll? You don't need to answer if its personal.

raybony

“Oh.” She shrugs a bit, looking everywhere but at the stallion in front of her. “Well, when my brother gave me it, he left for a long time. It’s a precious toy, a memory I wanted to keep. I, um, I guess I adopted the name Glaze for a sense of comfort...to keep him close to me in spirit...”

Rhino’s ears fold back and he stays silent for a moment. “Let’s-let’s just move on:”

Fluttershy: Just how big is your family? So far we have seen an adventurous sister and a... well fighter brother. Not to mention that they seem that they wouldn't be related to you. If you don't mind me saying.

raybony

“...Um...I have one mom...and three siblings...” She hides behind her mane, unsure of what else to say. “...I guess I’m...the one in the middle of my sisters?”

A thoughtful look appears on Rhino’s face, “Any comments on the large difference in attitude between you and at least two of your siblings?”

“...W-well, my older sister is rather adventurous because of stories she used to read...and my brother was protective of me, growing up...” She puts a hoof on her lips, silent for a few moments. “...I have no idea why my little sister is so reckless...”

“Hopefully she tries at least to be a little safe.”

Fluttershy shrugs, giggling softly. “She has a couple of good friends. I’m certain they’ll reign her in, even if only a little bit.”

He flips another card. “Every little bit counts. Next:”

If Daring Do is real, why does Fluttershy write the books?

ninjapinkiesdude

He blinks at the question, “Wait, you write the Daring Do books?”

“Y-yes, I do.” She blushes brightly, shifting a bit uncomfortably. “U-Under the name ‘F.S. Braveheart’. I-I thought you knew.”

He scratches his chin with a hoof, “No, no I did not know that. I haven’t read Daring in a while now... completely forgot the author’s name. Wow.”

“I-I see.” She smiles nervously. “A-anyways, it started off with my sister returning from her adventures with these amazing stories. I didn’t want to forget them, so I wrote them down...and then my publisher thought they were a new story. She took them, and that’s how the whole series started.” She shrugs slightly. “Daring was surprisingly okay with that.”

Rhino shakes his head, bemused, “Daring Do is real and your sister... again, wow. Alright, this next question was a two parter but you pretty much answered the second part already so I’ll just read out the initial one:”

1.) Spitfire mentions multiple authors. Who else writes them?

SuperChaosKG

“Oh, that.” She rubs the back of her head, embarrassed. “When they decided to make a movie of the series, there were some filmmakers called in to adapt the books. When the fourth film was being made, I was attempting to reform Discord.” She sighs, lowering her head. “...they made some really odd decisions that Daring and I weren’t exactly comfortable with, such as creating a species called ‘humans’ that were apparently powerful aliens...needless to say, it didn’t do as well as the other films.”

“Maybe the fans were adverse to what looked to be a step towards science-fiction.”

“That makes sense.” Fluttershy stands up and walks off, silently considering that idea.

The green unicorn lets out a breath as the pegasus exits. “Friends not knowing who you are is one thing, but that,” he gestures after the guest, “that was just eerie and uncomfortable.”

“Why is that?” A gray pony walks out from behind him, her face completely neutral.

He continues as he nurses the thermos again, “Because I don’t feel one can ever be completely prepared for seeing an alternate version of one’s marefriend. So much is the same so it evokes almost the same emotions, yet enough is different for it to give one pause.”

“So you felt something for our Fluttershy.” She tuts at him, shaking her head. “Discord won’t like that.” She sits down in the seat, seeking comfort while speaking. “Nopony knows it besides Vinyl and I, but he has a bit of a crush on her.”

He sighs, “I suppose I can’t blame him for that, and even though I know she isn’t my Fluttershy... a bit of that protectiveness still flares up when I think about it.” He shakes his head and gulps down the milk before turning to the mare, “I’m sorry Miss, are you another guest?”

“You can say that. My name’s Octavia Philharmonica.” She glances around momentarily, a frown on her lips. “Or, rather, Octavia Melody. I had to change my name when I entered the country.”

“Well that’s a shame, I prefer your original name, much more fitting.” He sighs, “But, I suppose some things can’t be helped.”

“I’m glad you understand, Rhino. By the way, you might want to back up a bit.” She points a hoof above his head.

The host looks up to see a pink cotton candy cloud. As soon as he sees it, it looses a torrent of chocolate milk rain on top of him. He simply looks back at Octavia as he remarks, “I guess I can understand why he did that. Joke’s on him, though, I love milk.” He licks his lips only to gag immediately. “Ugh! It tastes like sweat!”

“I tried to tell you.”

Rhino sighs as he flips through the cards almost out of habit at this point, “I’m not sure this could have been avoided. I’ll just get a towel after this and until then I’ll just be damp and smell like chocolate. Now then, thank you for coming Miss Octavia, and here is your first question:”

This is for Octavia, we know that you are a skilled fighter, but I will really like to know is how long did it take you to master this techniques and if you can tell, where did you learn them? Don't answer if it goes against some kind of code.

raybony

“I can only answer the first part. It took me fifteen years to master the style I chose. As for the second part, it was a necessity back in the ex-CCCP.” She looks at the unicorn, an eyebrow quirked. “Is everything alright? You seem a bit confused.”

“I suppose I am. Between the treble clef cutie mark and the refined air about you, I didn’t think you were a celebrated fighter.”

“That’s a fair point of view.” She smiles a bit at him. “Of course, I do have to make sure I don’t get robbed. Or that I’m capable of defeating Slendermane in the process of rescuing a friend’s daughter.”

He stays silent for a moment, “You know what? I’m not even going to be surprised about that sentence. Everypony seems to have some mysterious and unexpected side to them, I’m just going to take it all in stride now. It’s just easier that way.”

A white, well-dressed stallion appears behind him, smirking in spite of his facelessness. Good colt. The voice transmitted itself into his mind.

“Slendermane, stop that.” She turns to Rhino, a sheepish smile on her face. “I apologize for my friend, here.”

Rhino’s fur along his spine stands straight up as he still wears a smile, muttering, “Just go with it, just go with it.” He clears his throat, “Next:”

Octavia: What are you and Cinnamon/Zolo doing now? Going to some date after this?~

raybony

She blinks, a faint hint of color tinting her cheeks. “...Zolo is just a friend. N-nothing more. I am going to join him at a diner later on, though.”

“As friends?”

“Of course.”

Rhino steels himself. “My apologies if this crosses a line, but are you certain he sees it that way too?”

Octavia places a hoof on her chin, thinking a bit. “I suppose I haven’t considered that. I may be a skillful strategist, but my knowledge of romance is limited. I doubt I even know what love is like.” She sighs, shaking her head. “Maybe it’d be best if we moved on?”

He nods, “This next one looks to be exactly the change of subject you probably hoped it was:”

Do you have a particular outfit you use for adventuring?

Rhino

“Yes, I do. I don’t find it fashionable, though, so I tend to not wear it when I’m sure somepony will see me. A rescue mission, for example, would be one such aversion.” She glances over to the camera, frowning slightly. “...If you must know, it’s a green adventurer’s outfit.”

“Probably useful for forest adventures though, right?”

She looks him dead in the eyes, her expression completely neutral. “I normally wear it in dungeons where I’m certain no one that sees it will survive.”

He takes the hint, “Noted. Next:”

What was the easiest quest you have ever been on? What was the hardest?

Rhino

“The easiest? Simple - when I rescued Dinky from captivity. The hardest is also simple.” She crosses her forehooves, her eyes narrowing slightly. “I cannot divulge any details on it, though, for national security reasons.”

Rhino nods appreciatively, “Well then Miss Octavia, thank you for answering your questions and providing an... enlightening view of things.”

“You’re quite welcome.” She gets up and leaves the stage behind him, the tall stallion following her closely.

Rhino shakes his head again as he asks off-camera, “Can I get a towel and a refill please?”

Author's Note

Special thanks goes to Rhino for allowing his OC to be in this chapter. :twilightsmile: You should go read his story - it’s really good!

Concerning the contest, it’s not over yet. The whole Q&A Chapter has not been published, yet. For those of you that care about that, anyways. We won't be accepting any new questions, though. So sorry about that.

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Q&A #3 Pt. 2

A voice calls from offstage. “You say you want a towel, Rhy?”

Rhino looks himself over, noting his soaked form while he idly flicks a few drops off a hoof, “Yes, I’d rather not do the rest of the show soaked in chocolate milk that tastes like sweat.” He gives a light sniff. “At least it still smells like chocolate...”

A towel smacks him in the face and starts vigorously rubbing all over him as the thermos was taken from him. As soon as he’s dry, it flies away. Vinyl walks onstage, holding the refilled container in her magical aura. “Here you go, dude. Anything else?”

He takes the thermos gratefully, “No thanks, Vi. I think I’ve actually got the right mindset for this now.” He smiles widely and laughs, “This place is a little crazy, but I have to admit, it is fun.”

She rolls her eyes, smiling playfully. “Yeah, that’s E’s writing, alright.”

He shrugs, still smiling, “Meh, I always say: everyone’s crazy, just in their own way.” He gives himself a once over after the towel assault, noting his fluffed up mane and tail. He swipes a hoof over each once or twice before they lay down, relatively speaking.

She pouts, looking at his mane. “Why did you do that? It was cute the way it was!”

He ruffles his mane and tail, “Oh don’t worry, I like the ‘fluffy look’ I just wanted it all going the same direction.”

She blinks, staring dumbly at him for a moment. “...wow, I must be losing my touch. You didn’t even blush.”

He gets a playful smile, “Maybe you’ll just have to try harder.” He winks at her.

“Oh?” She smirks cheekily, turning sideways and trailing her tail up his side. “How’s this, Rhy?”

The action causes quite the flush and slight stammer, “P-plenty. You win.”

“Good.” She glances down at his flank. “I should leave before something comes up.” She leans close, whispering in his ear. “If you know what I mean.~”

Rhino clears his throat and doesn’t respond as she laughs and saunters off-stage. “Anyways, next up we have...Nightmare Moon? Yeah, sure, why not. Nightmare Moon.”

The dark mare from before enters, staring down at him. “About time. I have plans to tend to.”

The host, thoroughly numbed after everything, replies simply, “Do any of those plans involve dark castles or evil lairs?”

She scowls angrily at him. “Maybe. It also concerns Sombra and Chrysalis. Now shut up and give me the question.”

“As you wish:”

This is for Nightmare Moon, if you had beaten the Doctor in the rap battle, would you have still tried to take over Equestria even after he show you who he really is?

raybony

“If I had won, he wouldn’t have had the chance. And thank you for reminding me of that, foal.” She gets up and storms out, shoving the smaller alicorn who was entering onto her face as she passes her.

The unicorn stallion immediately gets up and offers his hoof to help the mare up, “Are you alright Princess?”

“Yes.” She gratefully takes the hoof, standing up. She places a hoof on her snout, frowning slightly. “I hope she didn’t break my nose.”

Rhino’s horn lights up for a moment before he speaks, “It’s fine, nerves are a bit agitated so it’ll be sore in about an hour, but other than that there’s no real damage.”

She stares at him in surprise. “That’s some impressive magical knowledge. Most unicorns only know basic telekinesis. That’s a respectable trait.” She walks past him to take her seat, looking curiously at him. “May I ask where you learned it?”

The stallion returns to his own seat as he answers, “The spell is just a tool of my trade. I guess it goes along with my talent in a way, but mostly just now was biological knowledge. Thank you for the complement.”

She shrugs slightly. “I tend to be candid with my statements. I suppose that’s why most ponies prefer to not play co-op games with me.”

Rhino returns the shrug, “Tact is all well and good, but candidness is for getting the truth about your thoughts out quickly, which is sometimes necessary. Speaking of the truth, let’s get to your first question:”

Luna, what is your favorite gaming genre?

Rhino

She nods a little, smiling softly. “I would say adventure games. The next closest would be co-op first-pony shooters. Generally, though, I play anything with a good story behind it and good controls.”

He nods, “I prefer RPGs but a good story can make any game a must-have. Next:”

Luna: I bet I can merc you in summa dem Video Games you mentioned in yo battle against Celestia. You CANNOT SEE ME! You up for a challenge?

TPurnell18

The host pauses at the question, “There’s candidness, and then there’s gibberish.”

The Princess of the night is standing up, glaring into the camera. “WE SHALL HAVE THOU KNOW WE’RE THE BEST! THOU SHALL PAY FOR THY INSOLENCE!” With that she teleports away, leaving behind a perplexed unicorn.

“Tartarus hath no fury like a princess scorned, ladies and gentlecolts.” He says, gesturing after the alicorn. “Next up we have Miss Twilight Sparkle!”

The lavender unicorn walks in, smiling calmly at the stallion. “Hello again, Rhino.” She sits herself down, looking inquisitively at him. “Are you feeling alright? Any adverse effects from the trans-dimensional spell?”

He grins, “From the spell? No. From this experience... fairly certain I went at least slightly insane for a moment or two. I’ve learned how to deal with it now though.”

“I don’t blame you for any momentary insanity.” She giggles, nodding a little. “Seeing ponies so similar yet different to the ones you know would likely do that to anypony.”

“Yes...but I feel you need to experience it to fully understand.” He clears his throat. “But, you are here to answer questions, and we can always speak later. So let us get to it:”

What determines a unicorn's magical aura color? One theory is eye color, but your brother proves this is not the case. And with some unicorns it appears the aura color can change given time. What are your theories on this?

Rhino

“I’m not entirely sure, myself. I believe it’s the color of one’s cutie mark.” She shrugs.

“Hmm, I expected slightly wordier answer.”

She giggles, sticking her tongue out at him. “Not everything that comes out of my mouth is sesquipedalian loquaciousness.”

He chuckles, “True, I suppose that was stereotyping on my part. Next:”

Since one of your friends writes and you are a lover of reading, have you ever considered writing a book yourself? If so, what kind?

Rhino

“I’ve written a book for a thesis in college.” She waves a hoof dismissively. “It was about how Equus’s flat topology made it necessary to raise and lower the sun and moon with magic. I got a perfect grade.”

“Anything you’ve considered writing? Educational, comedy, adventure, romance?”

“I suppose I haven’t.” She sheepishly smiles, rubbing the back of her neck. “I’d likely use too much technical language to write an enjoyable fictional story. And Spike can attest to my less-than-tactful attempts to teach subjects.”

He nods again, “Both fair points. Any final comments or questions from yourself?”

“I would ask some questions, but they can wait until later.” She glances at the camera. “Some of them might be a bit...personal.”

“Well, feel free to seek me out and ask whatever you wish when this is all done.” He puts a hoof to his chin in thought. “If Vi doesn’t know where I am, ask Ditzy, looks like I’ll be with her tomorrow.”

She smiles, nodding thoughtfully. “I’ll keep that in mind. I hope to talk with you later, Rhino.” Her horn lights up and she teleports out.

“Just had to make a flashy yet efficient exit, didn’t she?” The host chuckles, "Alright everypony, next up we have... Night Flyer!"

The grey pegasus limps on the stage, bandages covering his left eye, wings, left fore hoof and waist. He holds up his good hoof and waves to the camera with a smile, "Hello everypony!"

At the sight of the injured pony, Rhino's eyes widen and he sits forward, "Woah, do you need some help? You look pretty badly hurt."

Night sits down and gently rubs his injured hoof while staring around the stage, "I just got discharged from the hospital, don't worry it's not serious, just some broken bones and a damaged lung"

The host raises a skeptical eyebrow, "As somepony in a medical profession, I can honestly tell you that what you just described is easily serious." He sighs while massaging the bridge of his nose, "But if they let you out, you’re not just going to drop dead, so I'll take it. Feel up to answering a question?"

The pegasus nods, "Sure"

"Here it is:"

Night Flyer: So how did you make those puzzle boxes of yours? They seem to be magically enchanted, seeing as Vi couldn't open them.

raybony

"Oooh! That's a good one! I have a Unicorn friend in Manehattan that magically makes the parts. Building the box takes about a month or so to make, longer if a certain pony decides to ‘help’. It's also very dangerous if you don't place a gear or tighten a bolt properly, as you can see", Night looks at his injured body "It'll cause a surprisingly big explosion"

"Hmm, would it be possible for me to get one of these boxes?"

Night brightens up at the question "Sure you can get one!" He digs his good hoof into his mane and pulls out a small blue ball. He then throws it onto the ground, causing smoke to flood the stage. As the smoke clears, a small box lands in front of him

Rhino coughs as he clears the smoke with a hoof, "I appreciate it. Was the smoke necessary though?"

"Yes and no, it's a little side project I'm doing"

"Hmm, alright then. So the riddles are on the side correct?"

"Yes, three riddles around the box. This box is a little different though, instead of gears with half the letters on the sides this box is voice activated. Just press the bottom underneath the riddle and say the answer.”

"Excellent..." Rhino chuckles, "Oh I am going to have fun with this... and probably look a little crazy as I talk to it. Thank you very much for the souvenir Mr. Flight, and thank you for being here today. I wish you a speedy recovery."

"Thank yo-" Night interrupts himself by coughing violently, spitting blood on the floor, "I'm going back to the hospital, bye!"

Rhino shakes his head sadly as he looks at the blood. “I did only promise he wouldn’t drop dead.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good sentiment, at least.” Vinyl steps onto the stage, wearing a gas mask on her face. “I’m wondering whether the hospital really let him out or not.” She turns on a ventilation system above the stage, which starts sucking up the rest of the smoke from the bomb. “Best to remove that stuff before it hurts somepony.” She quickly gets to work cleaning the blood off the floor, using a crimson cloth.

He eyes the rag, “Please tell me that’s a cloth you just happened to grab, and not one you have dedicated to blood stains because of their frequency.”

She looks at him with a bemused expression. “The former, dude. The color’s a coincidence.”

He lets out a small breath, “Oh good, thought I might have to actually be worried.”

“I hear ya.” She walks past him to exit, teasingly brushing her tail along his side once more. “Have fun, dude!~”

He shivers lightly at the touch but manages to fight the flush, “For our next guest, I would like to call Miss Pinchy to the stage.”

A small pink unicorn walks in, her wonder-filled eyes on him. “Hi.”

Looking surprised at the youth of his guest, Rhino speaks kindly, “Well hello little one, how are you today?”

“I’m fine.” She approaches the desk, raising herself up onto it to get a better look at him. “Miss Twilight told me about you. Is it true you can climb up walls?” Her eyes were positively shining with excitement.

He nods as he gets up from his seat, “It is absolutely true. Watch.” He walks over to one of the walls as a slight glow can be seen coming from under his hooves. As he gets to the wall, Rhino simply sets a hoof on it and continues walking straight up the wall like it was flat ground. He continues walking until he is on the ceiling right above his seat. He looks ‘up’ at the foal and smiles, “See?”

“Amazing!” She hops in glee, beaming brightly. “You’re just like a ninja! I want to do that, too!”

The stallion laughs as he walks his way back down and to his seat, “Well, its not exactly an easy spell, but if you have a magic teacher I could try and show them and you how to do it. Don’t expect to go scaling walls at first though, it’s one of those spells that gets better with experience. Ninjas aren’t made overnight you know.”

“Thank you!” She leaps forward and hugs him. “You’re the best!”

He beams as he lightly hugs her back, “Aww, aren’t you a sweet one.” He sets her down on the desk. “So, feel like answering a question or two?”

“Sure!” She nods happily, sitting herself down on the desk. “What’s the question, Mister Rhino?”

“It’s Doctor Rhino, technically, but you can just call me Rhino. The first question is:”

This is for Ruby Pinch, what kind of anime are in Equestria, and which one is your favorite?

raybony

“Oh, there’s all kind of anime! Adventure, comedy, slice of life, you name it!” She tilts her head, thinking a bit. “As for my favorite? I’d say either ‘Naruto’ or ‘Darker Than Black’. Those are two good series.”

“I’m sure you just got them many more viewers by saying that. Next:”

If you were a ninja, what kind of ninja would you be? What would be your weapon of choice?

Rhino

“That’s something I’ve thought about for a while, actually.” She smiles brightly, nodding a bit. “I’d like to be a Kage! They’re some of the most powerful ninjas there are!”

Rhino nods approvingly, “Good answer Pinchy. Any more questions for me while you’re up here?”

“Yes. Do you know what this is?” She pulls out a small dagger with a circle at the end of the handle. The pointed blade glints slightly in the light, facing his chest. “It’d be my weapon of choice.”

“That,” he says as he magically moves the dagger so it isn’t pointing at himself or the foal, “would be a kunai. Something I’m very curious as to how you obtained, and I hope you are being careful with.”

“So you are a ninja!” She giggles, nodding happily. “And don’t worry, I’ll be careful! See you later, Rhino!” She grabs the knife in her mouth and runs out, plans running through her head.

Rhino looks after her, “And thus, a mini-ninja is born and I choose to believe that there are no negative repercussions to this fact.”

“Just like her teacher.” Vinyl giggles, popping up behind him.

“Meaning you or somepony else?”

She frowns, laying her head on the desk. “...That actually hurt, dude.”

His ears flatten slightly, “Oh come now, how am I supposed to know who her teacher is?”

“Yeah, I suppose that’s fair.” She sits up, smirking playfully. “I’m not her main teacher, though. That’d be Tavi. Gotcha, didn’t I?” She asks in a sing-song voice.

He nods, but smirks, “Yes, yes you did. But that’s just par for the course for friends of yours huh?”

The white mare taps her chin thoughtfully. “‘Shy doesn’t fight, herself. Other than her, though, that’s an accurate statement.”

“Thus the Fluttershy Exception is proved once again. Shall I continue then, or do you want to smoke bomb your way out?”

“Where’s the fun in that?” With that, she was gone.

A small eye twitch is all that takes away from the chuckle that follows her departure, “Would have preferred a smoke bomb covering that little disappearing act up. I’ll just think of it as teleporting for the sake of my sanity.” He looks back at the camera, “Next up folks, we have Miss Broadway Bound!”

The filly walks in, obviously excited. She sits down. “This is so awesome! I mean, I’ve been in plays and stuff, but this is like a talk show-thingy!”

Rhino chuckles, “That’s exactly what this is. Ready to answers some questions from your fans?”

“Yes! Yes-yes-yes-yes-yes!” She then coughs slightly, “I mean...why, of course!”

He simply smiles, “Definitely an actress. Here we go:”

Broadway: Just how did you manage to sneak from the orphanage in Canterlot and get to E and V's engagement party? Or did I miss something on E's past story?

raybony

“I actually live in Enigma’s old apartment in Canterlot. I snuck onto the train to Ponyville though!” she smiles innocently.

The host hums to himself, “I’m surprised a pony of your age doesn’t at least have somepony looking after you.”

“Well, the landlord checks on me occasionally! I did live on the streets for a while when I was younger!”

“Here’s hoping that doesn’t happen again. Here’s your next question:”

Broadway: Did you regret eating all of E's ice-cream afterwards? If not from guilt, maybe from something else?

raybony

She looks sick as she hugs herself. “Definitely! But I felt better after watching... Five... Maybe seven seasons of Supernatural or whatever show was on!”

“Felt a bit like a big ball instead of a pony?”

“Yeah, I thought somepony would find me exploded everywhere!” She flails her forehooves to emphasize her point.

“Glad to see that wasn’t the case, what your fans do if you went and exploded one day?”

“It would be terrible!” she places her left forehoof over her forehead.

Vinyl pops out from behind Broadway’s chair, frowning down at her. “Laying it on a little thick there, aren’t you, Bebe?”

She chuckles nervously. “Ha... Whoops?” she sat up a little straighter.

The unamused mare turns to Rhino, gesturing to the smaller white pony in front of her. “She’s an actress. In fact, the first time she met E, she tried to guilt-trip him into taking her to his home. Fortunately, E saw through that - with the help of a book I gave him - and still let her come with him.”

She lifts her forehooves. “What can ya do? I mean, It wasn’t that fun out there! Wait... So that’s what that book was!”

She stares down at her incredulously. “...dude, it was called ‘Body Language, Sarcasm and You’. What else would it be about?”

“I dunno, at first I thought he was some random nerd carrying books around all the time!”

“Hey. He’s my nerd.” She giggles, playfully patting her head.

Broadway hugs Vinyl. “And you’re my favorite DJ!”

“Not sure if acting or serious.” She shrugs, walking off behind Rhino. “I choose to believe the latter.”

The host sits back up from where he had been leaning back watching the two converse, “Well then little starlet. Thank you for coming on today.”

“Thank you for having me!” she smiles before trotting off.

Rhino turns towards the camera, “Next up, everypony please welcome... Lyrical!”

“Yo!” A light brown, hoody-wearing unicorn says, entering and promptly taking a seat. “What up, everypony?”

“Excited to be here then?”

“Yezzir.” Lyrical says with a nod. “Nice to meet you too, Rhino.” Lyrical looks around and spots Vinyl. “What’s up, you!”

She grins, waving a hoof at him. “Hey, dude! How’s it going with Gilda?” She winks at him, smirking playfully.

Lyrical stays silent for a moment, then smiles. “Next question!”

Rhino smirks as well, “Second verse, same as the first:”

Lyrical: So have you and G manage to make amends? And G, try not to hurt him too much...when alone~

raybony

“...Really? Celestia dammit. You would ask that question, Ray.” Lyrical says softly, looking around for Ray. “Well...aside from our first meeting, which was when she tried to claw...talon? Talon my eyes out, we’ve been on good terms.”

“Lyr’, we both know that’s not what Ray meant.” She leans against the wall, her forelegs crossed in slight disappointment. “Now would you kindly answer the question properly?”

Lyrical sighs in defeat. “Fine...We’ve been...going out. Ya happy?”

“Very.” She giggles, sticking her tongue out at him. “Glad I remembered that interesting code phrase.”

Rhino looks back at Vinyl, confused, “Did I miss something in that exchange?”

“You would do that.” The brown stallion said, coldly.

“Hey.” The disk jockey frowns, pointing a hoof at him. “Enough of that. Or would you prefer me to make you do something embarrassing? Like, I don’t know, remove your hoodie?”

The host mutters under his breath, “Dun dun dun.”

“...No. Even if it’s 89 degrees on a hot summer day, I will not remove my awesome black hoodie.” The black and white maned stallion said.

Vinyl smirks, taking a few steps closer to him. “Would. You. Kindly?”

“Nope.” Lyrical said, not doing a thing. “But...would you kindly step two steps back?”

“It doesn’t work on me, dude. Now,” she grins, mere inches from his face now. “would you kindly take off your hoodie?”

“I hate mind control-” Was all Lyrical could say before he finally removed his hoodie, showing a large white t shirt.

Rhino sits back, still observing, “Do I need to get you two a room, considering how much you want his clothes off?”

“Nah. I just felt like-” She stops mid-sentence, noticing the shirt. “...are you bucking kidding me?”

“...Nah.”

Vinyl rolls her eyes. “Fine. At least my love doesn’t wrestle me for dominance every time we’re in bed. Speaking of...” She points behind him, smirking in triumph.

Before Lyrical can react, a large brown griffon swoops in and carries him offstage.

“Well, that was fun. Good luck with the rest of the questions, Rhy!” She leaves the stage in the same direction as the couple before had, whistling a few bars to a song.

In the distance, a stallion can be heard screaming, “MY BODY IS READYYYYYYYY.”

The stallion shrugs, “Ah well. It looks like next we are going to have a special guest via the screen behind me, everypony please welcome Prince Blueblood!” He rotates in his seat as the screen slowly drops down the wall.

“Ah! ‘ello! So good to see you again. In prison.” The prince in an orange suit is chained to a concrete wall.

Vinyl pokes her head in behind Rhino, frowning slightly. “Not sure I feel the same. Of course, I promised E I’d give you the benefit of the doubt.” She glances at the background behind the high-class stallion. “...who’s the griffon?”

“Oh! That is my girlfriend, Trixie Gemini Sanderson! She’s a griffon! And apparently, my new lawyer.”

Said griffon clears her throat, a small blush on her cheeks. “I have to ask you to refrain from calling me your girlfriend until after the trial. They’d dismiss me if there was a personal bias, you see.”

“Fair enough, fair enough. Alright, good news! Vinyl hasn’t closed the chat yet! This is already going well! So! I heard that you had some questions for me?” The prince gets back on topic.

“Right.” Rhino taps the cards to straighten them, “Here we are:”

Blueblood: Do you have any idea who was controlling you? Also, do you have any harsh feelings towards E still? Or even V?

raybony

“Not in the bucking slightest. All I remember is a dat- night with Gem, blacking out and waking up in a police van enroute to the Ponyville City Penitentiary. Not even my strangest night, for real, for real.”

“As for the second questions, welp, no. I have never, in all my years, held the slightest hatred towards Miss Mystere, nor Vinyl. And while Enigma treats me with slight disdain, Vinyl hates my guts. Still opened the chat, though.” The prince gives a small laugh. “Speaking of which, she never told me why she hates me so much. I chalked it up to magic.”

Rhino gestures towards the DJ, “Care to share, Vi?”

“E told me what happened during your first meeting.” She rubs the back of her head, grimacing a little. “I guess I became outraged at the thought.”

The prince grips his hoof onto his chin. “Hmm. That’s odd. Can’t really- what did happen that time?”

“You attempted to...take advantage of him.”

“One, her. Two, small question. Where was this exactly? If it’s where I think it was, then I’ll laugh out loud. Well, no. Because that’s not very funny. Hmm...” Blueblood trails off with a thoughtful look.

“It happened in a park. After you followed him out of my club in Canterlot.” She sighs, rubbing the side of her head. “...why am I even saying this? You may not have been in control of yourself, but the device that was controlling you would’ve let you know what was going on.”

“True, true. If I was being controlled, there would be no excuse. But here’s the funny thing. You said it was after leaving a club? Vinyl,” Blueblood chuckles, “did it ever occur to you that perhaps I was drunk off my hooves that night? Because, I tell you what. Prince Blueblood Soluna would never, in sane mind nor body, try to touch a mare who does not want to be touched. I swear it.”

She gives him a bemused look. “You said you knew E was a stallion, and preferred it that way.”

“You can’t mean Miss Mystere! Oh, now I KNOW I was drunk that night! I am so, so, sorry! And I’m not even gay!” Blueblood paces as best as he can, with him being chained and all.

“You also had that fake mole on your face that hid the mind-control device.”

“And what, pray tell, would me raping Enigma gain for my controllers? I mean, at least with the scenario the police told me, I could have drugged her and then captured her somewhere. But unless they were super horny and had very strange fetishes, that doesn’t make any sense.”

Vinyl opens her mouth to speak, but comes up short. “...I literally have no response to that train of thought. And I think we’re wasting the audience’s time, now.”

Blueblood gives a large smile. “Yes. I guess you’re right. My train of thought is strange but let’s leave that to another day. Anyway, guys, glad we can have a civil conversation for once. You know, without Vinyl hoofing me in the kiwis. Again. See you when I get out!”

“When you get out?” The normally quiet griffon glances up.

“Yes. Because not only can we use this feed as evidence to my innocence, I trust you with all my heart.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Of course. Besides, if we do fail, get the judge to give the death penalty.”

“What-WHY?!”

“Just trust me on that one.” Blueblood gives the griffon a ‘I-know-something-you-don’t’ smirk. “This is Blueblood Soluna, signing off!” And with that, the feed ends.

As the screen rises back up, Rhino turns to Vinyl, “Well, that happened.”

“Yeah, it did.” She stays quiet for a little bit before tapping his nose with a hoof. “Boop!” She runs off, giggling childishly.

“Glad to see her back to her normal self.” He rubs his nose a bit. “Next up, we have the duo of Snips and Snails!”

The duo walk in, sitting themselves down dutifully. They sit there silently.

Vinyl pokes her head in from offstage behind Rhino. “What’s going on here? You two are never that well-behaved.”

The taller one speaks up. “We were told to not misbehave.”

She narrows her eyes, wondering at the validity of that statement. Eventually, she points her hoof at her eyes then at them, slowly retreating backstage.

Rhino flips through the cards as he remarks, “Careful boys, you never know which ponies are ninjas,” he gets up from his seat only to disappear and reappear behind them with the barest hint of horn flare, “watching you.” He teleports back to his seat, “But if you aren’t misbehaving, then I think they’ll have nothing but good things to say about you. So, want to answer a question?”

“Sure.” Snails grins, completely oblivious to the stallion’s words. In contrast, his friend was shivering slightly. Before Rhino can say anything, though, he speaks up again, noticing something odd. “Mister, do you know there’s a squirrel in your mane?”

The green unicorn looks upwards as he raises a hoof to his mane. He feels a slight shifting of weight on his head just before a small black squirrel hops out of his mane and onto the desk. Rhino smiles as he sees the little pet, “Specter? I didn’t know you came here with me. Were you really up there this whole time?”

The squirrel only nods before his owner nuzzles him. Specter makes his way back onto Rhino’s head, but this time not burying himself in the mane, instead he simply lays down and looks at the guests with his little golden eyes.

Rhino turns to the colts as well, “Thank you for pointing him out to me Snails, I guess I’m just used to the weight of him being up there.”

“You’re welcome.” He smiles once more before a thought occurs to him. “Hey, didn’t you flatten your mane a while back? What did that do to him?”

Rhino shrugs, “If I had to guess, I’d say he probably saw the cloud before I did, jumped out, and jumped back in once I stopped messing with my mane when it was dried. With everything else happening today, I’m not surprised nopony noticed my little buddy. Ain’t that right, Specs?”

The squirrel nods.

Snips speaks up, starting to get impatient. “I thought you had a question for us?” He tries not to be rude, he really does, but it comes across as that.

Rhino ignores the rudeness, sometimes things just come out that way after all, “Right, got distracted. Ahem:”

Question for Snips and Snails: how did you two get your hooves on the Millenium Puzzle in the first place?

Quillflare

“Oh, I know this!” Snails grins, raising a hoof. “My grandpa got it from a pyramid he explored back in Zebrica. Said something was supposed to happen if I finished it.” He grimaces a bit, looking up in thought. “I never could...hey, why are there hoofprints on the ceiling?”

The host answers frankly, “Because they don’t clean the ceiling enough, meaning the dust gets easily disturbed.”

“Oh.” He stands up, walking out. “Maybe I should get something for Spoon. Her birthday’s coming up soon...”

Snips rolls his eyes, groaning a bit as he follows his friend. “Why are you so interested in her? She used to make fun of you!” Their conversation soon goes out of earshot.

Rhino takes a sip from his thermos as he watches the retreating colts, “I’ll admit, I don’t know what to say about that interview. They were well-behaved though.” He rolls his eyes upward to his mane, “Any comments from you, Specs?”

Said squirrel pops his head down in front of his owner’s eyes to shake his head.

“Oh, that reminds me!” Vinyl pops back in once more, a small headset in her magical grasp. “Have him try this on. It should allow him to communicate with us.” She holds it out to him, beaming brightly.

The stallion’s eyes widen, “Really?” He grabs the tiny headset with his magic and passes it up to Specter.

A few tiny movements later and a voice comes from Specter’s direction, “Testing, testing, one two three. I am fuzzy.”

Rhino smiles widely at his little friend, “Glad to have you with us Specs,” he turns to Vinyl. “mind if he co-hosts?”

“Not a problem.” She giggles, winking a bit. “I find his voice quite amusing. Didn’t expect a squirrel to have a diabetes-causing cute voice.” She trots off, humming a tune to herself.

Specter meets Rhino’s eye, “I like her, she’s funny.”

The unicorn nods, “That she is.” He turns an eye upward, “You want to announce the next one Specs?”

“Sure!” The squirrel straightens up and puffs out his chest, “Would Mr. Moonfeather please come to the stage?”

Moonfeather slowly walks into the room. “Was that a squirrel?” He raises an eyebrow. “You know what? I’m not gonna question anything anymore.” He holds his hooves up in surrender before taking a seat in front of Rhino. “What’s up, colt?”

Rhino nods at the other stallion, “Oh, you know, having a crazy day.”

“Crazy? How so?” He looks around, rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh... may I have some water, or tea, or something?”

The host calls backstage, “Hey Vi, can we get some hydration up here please?”

The white unicorn walks onstage, a bottle of clear liquid in her magical aura. She tosses it to the guest, smiling politely. “Here you go, dude.”

Moonfeather catches the bottle with ease. “Thanks, Vinyl!”

Specter amuses himself by gliding down from Rhino’s head onto the desk. Once there, he asks, “So, was that actually thirst, or was it stage fright?”

“W-well, both. Thirst, yeah, but stage fright due to another one of the guys in here,” he knocks a hoof on the side of his head. “I swear to Luna, they’re so annoying... And they don’t pay rent, either!”

Vinyl giggles, rolling her eyes. “I bet that he just wanted to see my face or something. Touching, but a little awkward.”

Rhino gives the stallion an appraising look, “Ah, I see. Did one of them want to answer questions, or are you the one who will?”

Moonfeather blushes at Vinyl. “H-hey! I can’t help the horny ones!” He blinked. “... Just forget I said that, please.” He buries his face under his hooves. He looks back up at Rhino. “Well, it’s not like I can help it when another just pops on in. How many questions did I get, anyways? Who knows, I might have to humor you.”

She stares at him blankly, unamused. “...what.”

Moonfeather shrugs, a deep blush on his face. “It’s the truth, Vi! Man, they really need to make a medicine for this... Seriously.”

She walks off the stage, shaking her head. “...that stallion has issues...and they don’t come in mylar bags...”

The unicorn host coughs lightly, “Moving on then. You received a single question:”

Moonfeather: So how have things gone with Applejack? Did she return the feelings? And if not, what will you do if Rainbow wins the rap battle?

raybony

Moonfeather sighs, looking at the table. “I... uh... well, I haven’t really... asked yet. I think one of the guys might pop in, and Celestia knows how she’d react. Ugh... Damn it!” He rests his head on the table again. “Don’t get me wrong, I seriously want to ask her. I do. I’d like to have what Vinyl and Enigma get to have. But I don’t think I’ll ever come close to that. What those two have... that’s a really special bond right there, maybe even stronger than the Elements themselves.” His eye twitches. “But whatever! If I’m gonna die alone, I need to have some fun! Maybe rob a store or two. Crash a party. Ruin a wedding. Oh, the possibilities!” He starts to laugh maniacally. “Oh crap.”

A kunai flies through the air, hitting him in the head with its blunt end.

Moonfeather’s eyes widen. “D-damn... that... Pinchy.” He rubs the already growing bump. “This... this is why I never want to have kids.” He throws the kunai through the window angrily.

Vinyl pops up behind him, placing her forelegs on his head. “Then maybe you shouldn’t go for AJ. She’ll probably want some foals, dude.” She idly flicks his horn as she talks.

Moonfeather sighs. “Vinyl, I thought you knew more than anyone that love means sacrifice and compromise. And- GAH!” He lets out a gasp as he feels his horn flicked. “Y-you’re teasing me on purpose, aren’t you?”

“Not really. I just mess with the nearest pony when I’m bored.” She taps the tip of his horn, thinking a bit. “Why is your horn sharper than most unicorns’, dude?”

“Actually... my adoptive parents always wanted to avoid the topic, but I ran into a certain lavender unicorn. She thinks I’m descended from Royalty, which is why my horn’s like that. That, or I come from some Neanderthal tribe that combats only with horns, supposedly having disappeared many Millennia ago. Was it... I think it was something like ‘Sparta’ or something. They were quite fond of kicking ponies into holes. And.. you do know what touching a unicorn horn like that is for. Ever since your engagement party, you’ve been doing things like that, you sly unicorn. I’m starting to think you want me to be more than just a friend,” he teases.

“Keep dreaming.” She gave it a harsh flick. “I may tease, but my heart belongs to E.”

“Well, you-I-tried. Wow. I can’t believe they can be so perverted! I swear, it’s not me doing this!” He closes his eyes, fighting the ‘happiness’ coursing from his horn, which, due to its sharpness, is more sensitive than other horns.

“Uh huh.” She moves off of him, a little weirded out. “I’m starting to think you’re a masochist. That would’ve hurt other unicorns. Or at least stung.”

“Hey, it’s both, really. But I think you’d know that,” he sticks his tongue out.

Rhino raises his voice slightly, “Ok, I think I’m gonna draw the line there. Thank you for being with us here today Moonfeather.””

Moonfeather shrugs. “Well, I guess everypony gets to have their five minutes of fame. I’m gonna try to find the courage to talk to Applejack... See ya, everypony.” He gets up from the chair, taking one last drink before walking backstage, waving a hoof as he went.

She watches the unicorn leave, frowning slightly. “...I swear, I wonder what the buck’s wrong with that guy...”

Rhino looks at her curiously, “He didn’t seem that bad to me, a bit scatter-brained perhaps, but we all tend to be guilty of that at some point or another. Besides, the way you were hanging all over him I would think you two had known each other long enough for you to be used to it.”

She shrugs slightly, draping herself over the chair. “When I’m bored, I drape myself over furniture and mess with the closest pony.” Her horn lights up, and a quill starts poking the green pony in the back of the head.

“So it appears.” He levitates a quill from one of the desk drawers up to Specter. “If you wouldn’t mind, Specs?”

“My pleasure.” Specter takes the proffered quill and starts fencing the DJ’s own feather away from his perch.

The floating feather stops poking the unicorn and instead moves to start a playful bout with the little creature. Vinyl watches this whole scene with a small smile on her face.

“Aye, now that be a squirrel skilled with a sword. Ye’d always be welcome.” With that, a black unicorn with batwings appears on stage. Oddly enough, he is wearing a suit to match his eyepatch and pegleg.

The host addresses the newcomer, ignoring the continuing duel on his head, “Captain Jolly Roger, I presume?”

“Aye, the one an’ only! Somepony told me there be a question for me?”

“That there is cap’n-” He finally acknowledges the scuffle going on and flicks his eyes between the squirrel and mare, “Could you two stop for a moment while we have a guest?”

“No. This is actually fun.” The quill accidentally jabs the host’s horn. “Sorry.”

“It be alright. Ye get used to it. I be talking between fights all the time.”

Rhino grumbles, “Aye, I suppose ye would. To the question then:”

Captain Jolly Roger: Mind telling us how did you manage to get a pirate ship to land in Ponyville? Seeing as there are no ports, or better still, any oceans near it.

raybony

“Oh, that be an interesting one. But it be quite simple really. Ye see, there be a nice little lake in the Everfree forest, where the ponies of Ponyville built a little, hidden port. Now getting there be a lot harder. But fortunately, the ‘Golden Pegasus’ has a few Crewmembers with wings: A few pegasi, two griffins and a teenage dragon. With the help of a lot o’ rope, we could just fly there.”

The other stallion asks, “Have ye ever considered turning yer ship into a zepplin? Sky piratin’ seems like it’d be a bit more accessible to larger areas.”

“I did, actually. But then the problems occured to me:

-Most ships in Equestria are zeppelins. That means the Sky-Pirates are pretty common, leading to the valuable ships travelling on the sea. Most Sky-Pirates don’t know that, and so me and me crew can get a lot more booty.

-Also, have ye ever thought what would happen if we shot down a vessel in the sky? All the treasure would be lost. And if we were shot out of th’ sky, we’d be dead.”

Rhino nods, “Fair enough. Alright then Cap’n, thank ye very much for being-”

The quill jabs his horn once more, this time on purpose. “Dude, he still has another question.”

“Hmm?” He flips through his cards, “No, this is the only one with his name on it.”

“He has to answer the one for Shiny.” She moves over and points at the card in question. “The honorable Captain’s busy getting ready to interrogate Blueblood.”

“HEY!”

She jumps in surprise, quickly turning to the bat-winged stallion. “What?”

“I may be a pirate, and some o’ the stuff I said in me life may have been exaggerated a bit, but I still stick to me Code o’ honor. I spent enough time on one ship with Armor t’know that he would act honorable on the outside, but as soon as he thinks he’s unwatched, he starts threatening war-prisoners like dirt.”

“Hey.” She scowls, stomping over and poking him in the chest. “That’s my cousin you’re talking about. I’d appreciate you not dragging his name through the mud, Roger.”

“I’d love to, but I only be telling what I saw with me own eye. I can stop, though.” He says, seeing Vinyl reach towards her V-Rifle.

Rhino cautions her, “Careful Vi, don’t start too many fights at once now.” Right as he finishes saying that, Vi’s quill flies over and smacks her in the head as Specter gives a victory cry.

She flails her forelegs, having not expected that. She runs off the stage, knocking the desk and the hosts behind it over in the process.

Specter’s voice is heard from the pile, “I call foul!”

The pirate curses lightly, “Dammit! I gotta apologize t’her. I might have gone a little too far.”

The fallen host groans as he picks himself up and starts to right the desk. “While I don’t think it would hurt to do that, she should be fine if ye decide not to. She just got spooked I think.”

“Still. Honor Code be Honor Code. Here, Article 13: Never make a lass cry without apologizing.”

A bit flies through the air, beaning the pirate in the forehead. “Not crying!”

“I guess it counts towards angerin them too?”

The black pony rubs his snow-white forehead. “Aye, but that be fer own safety reasons. What’s the question?”

“Right,” Rhino finishes tidying up and locates the chained cards, “here we are:”

Shining Armor: Just how did you meet the Great Captain Jolly Roger? And what is your history with him?

raybony

“Ah, that be easy: Ye see, I actually come from a family of Navy captains, and even though I got the pirate mark early in life, I still tried to take after me granddad and one half of me dad. When I had worked me up the ranks, I got to be Captain of me own ship. Shining Armor came on board as a private, and I gave him work. But, that lad did not fall on his head. He figured out the meaning behind me initials, I had used them to sign everything, and started spyin’ on me. He watched me take off me coat in my cabin and pulled it down when me superiors came by t’check on me. And ye can’t expect to stay in the navy with a pirate-cutie-mark and being Discord’s grandson.”

“Ya don’t say?” Vinyl coughs offstage, sheepishly smiling. “Sorry, couldn’t resist.”

“And thus began yer rivalry?”

“Aye. I mean, ye also would want revenge on the stallion who is responsible fer them takin’ away everything: Yer job, yer honor, ye lass. Didn’t want to live with a pirate...”

The last item in the list causes Rhino’s ears to flick, “Aye, perhaps it’s best it was out of the way early, doesn’t make it any easier though.” He shakes his head quickly, “Ah, but enough of that talk. Hopefully I’m right this time when I say it was great having ye with us today Cap’n.”

“Yeah, that’s his last question.” She walks onstage, holding a hoof out to him. “Have a nice day, Captain Roger.”

“Aye, It was great being here, too.” He goes towards Vinyl “Sorry. I didn’t know he was yer cousin. Have a nice day, too, Vinyl!” With that, he leaves the stage.

“I should go check on...something. See ya soon, Rhy!~” She rushes off, a small smirk on her lips.

The host consults the cards as he rolls his tongue around in his mouth to get rid of any remaining pirate accent. “Alright Specter we have a couple coming in next, everypony please welcome Lady Rarity and Sir Soarin!”

The couple walk in, both of them looking at the co-hosts in curiosity. The mare speaks up for the both of them. “I must say, darling, you have a magnificent accent. Why, it almost sounds like mine.”

Rhino bows slightly to the mare, “Why thank you. It is an honor to be considered as well spoken as yourself.”

She blushes a bit while her coltfriend frowns at the other stallion. “I’m glad to hear that. Well, we should move onto the questions before Soarin’ gets too jealous, wouldn’t you agree?”

The host nods, “Indeed.”

As Rhino flips to the couple’s questions, Specter speaks up while looking at Soarin, “You know, he was only being polite. There’s no need to be mad at him, he’s already spoken for anyway!”

The pegasus sighs, lowering his head. “I know. I guess I’m just a little protective of Rarity.” He leans over, gently nuzzling her. She nuzzles him back, smiling softly.

Rhino smiles at the display of affection, “No need to explain that to me. There is nothing wrong with being protective, you have to protect what is most important to you after all.” He reaches up and scratches Specter lightly with a hoof as he says this. “Shall we get to the questions then? First:”

(to Soarin) According to rap 23 you fucked Spitfire, have you done any other mares in Equestria?

Glistening_Spark

Specter speaks up again, “What does that word between ‘you’ and ‘Spitfire’ mean?”

Rhino coughs lightly as he flips the card over, “Nothing you need to worry about until I explain it to you when you’re older.”

“Uh.” Soarin’ looks at his marefriend, who nods reassuringly at him. “...well, I’ve been with five mares in my life before Rarity...and, uh, one griffon.”

The unicorn host doesn’t react to the answer, “Very well, next:”

This is for Soarin and Rarity, why did you too decided to date each other, and how did it all start. And try to keep it simple Rarity, I know how you can get with romance.

raybony

“Oh, we met when I attended the Wonderbolts Derby. I was brought back into the locker area by Fancy Pants, and, to be quite honest, I fell in love with him at first sight.” She blushes brightly, leaning against him. “We’ve been together since.”

Rhino gestures to the pegasus, “Anything to add?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing important. I’m certain it happened exactly like she described.”

The unicorn stallion nods, “Well, I wish both of you nothing but the best and hope things go just as smoothly from now on. Last one:”

Soarin': No question for you. Just here to say you are not a nice guy... in the "good" way.

TPurnell18

Specter tilts his head to one side, “I don’t get it.”

The pegasus shrugs. “Neither do I. Maybe it had to do with the Sailor Mouth I was displaying during my rap battle?” He gets up, offering a hoof to the white unicorn. “We should go. Rarity and I have a reservation at a restaurant in a few minutes.” They begin to leave, waving their goodbyes to the hosts.

The two wave back to the exiting couple. After a moment Specter asks, “You know, I like their story about how they got together, but I think I like your’s and Fluttershy’s more.”

Rhino grimaces in response, “Personally I think I would have preferred the ‘love at first sight’ story.”

“Why?” Vinyl pops up next to him, smirking playfully. “Those Phoenix Flake things not romantic enough?”

Rhino smirks but is still a bit quiet, “That was just Shy and I’s first extended interaction, we didn’t get together because of that.”

“Hey, it was the first hint of any feelings you had for her.” She shrugs. “And it was funny when it got into your eyes.”

Rhino shrugs, still not smiling, “Yeah, in hindsight I suppose it is, but suffice to say there’s a reason I tell that story instead of the one that got us together.” He grunts as he takes a long swig of milk.

“Makes sense. At least you were able to see your crush while talking to them.” She glances at the next card, grimacing slightly. “Yikes. No way that everypony is answering that one. I’ll just answer it.” She moves over to the chairs, sitting down and looking expectantly at him.

The stallion twitches his ear to get his pet’s attention, “You want to take this one? I need a moment.” He takes another drink and stares off in thought.

Specter jumps onto the desk to grab the card, “Alright:”

This is for everyone, what is your opinion about settling arguments with rap battles instead of talking it out?

raybony

“Here’s the thing.” Vinyl shifts in her seat, leaning forward. “Rap battles allow everypony to get every bit of frustration at a pony out at once. It’s a therapeutic thing, see?”

Rhino, out of his little funk, remarks, “Frankly, I’m just surprised everypony can rap. I don’t think I could string four lines together.”

“Hey, we live in a universe where almost everypony can break out into song at a moment’s notice. I’m surprised that anypony can’t rap.” She laughs, playfully patting his shoulder.

“Meh, maybe I overthink it.”

A feminine pegasus rushes in, anxiety on his face. “I’m not late, am I?”

Rhino raises an eyebrow, “Mister Enigma right? Actually you’re right on time, the next set of questions were for you.”

Specter peeks at the cards, “The set after that are for him and Vinyl, so... what? Is she gonna leave and come back in 5 minutes?”

“Nah, I’m good. I’ll just stay here for now.” She leans back in her seat, watching them both in partial interest.

The burgundy stallion sits down, still breathing heavily, trying to calm his hammering heart down. “Sorry, I was taking care of something in the Everfree and...” He looks down at his mythril-clad forehooves, blushing slightly. “...okay, fine, I was practicing with the Bass Drops.”

“I take it those are related to Vi’s gun then?” Rhino says, gesturing to the mare.

“Yep. I made the Bass Drops, the Rewind and the V-Rifle.” She grins, pushing her shades up her nose. “I also made a Dubstep Sword I call the Smooth Rhythm. All of them are freakin’ awesome.”

Specter looks at the mare, “What, all weapons, no armor?”

“Oh, I’ve made a few harnesses as well, but that’s mostly for games. Besides, the Rewind is more than enough armor for Enigma.” She giggles, tapping the pony’s head. “He’s ridiculously durable. I once threw a bomb in his face and all he got was a cut on his forehead.”

Vinyl pauses, a thought coming to her head. “In fact, I bet he could beat you in a fight.” She grins so widely they both could see all of her teeth.

Rhino simply looks at her, “I don’t really fight without a good reason, and that tends to be a short list.”

She frowns, slouching down in her seat. “...you’re no fun, you know that?”

He shrugs, “Sorry, I have been known to be a buzzkill for that kind of thing. Besides, do you really want to see your fiance hurt?”

The white mare quirks an eyebrow at him. “Are you kidding? We fought once during a game, and he freaking beat me. There’s no way he’d lose.”

Enigma speaks up, sheepishly smiling. “Vi, I think you misunderstood his question.” He clears his throat, turning towards Rhino. “I apologize for that. She gets rather competitive.”

Rhino waves it off, “No problem, anyone who knows Rainbow Dash knows how to deal with that type. To her credit though, I am a bit surprised she lost, she seems like she’d be tenacious enough to keep beating you until you stayed down, but then again, I suppose it depends on the type of fight.”

She sighs, lowering her head. “He knocked my lives down to zero, causing my harness to lock up my skeletal muscles.”

Specter mutters, “Huh?”

Rhino looks at the couple, “I’m starting to think you and I have different definitions of the word ‘fight.’ It sounds like you two were sparring more than anything else.”

“Trust me, I was going after him like a Timberwolf after its prey.” She shrugs, shaking her head. “I was extremely enraged at the time.”

The unicorn stallion nods while his eyes glass over a moment, “Yes, its amazing how hard one will fight if they get angry enough.”

A gray mare pokes her head onto the set, frowning slightly. “Please get a move on. The audience is starting to get annoyed by the lack of questions.” With that said, she pops back out.

Specter goes through the cards before passing them to Rhino, remarking, “Technically there were questions, just none of the viewer’s ones.”

The stallion pats his buddy, “Yes, but those are the ones they came to see. Now then:”

How come in ERBOP (Lol, probably spelled it wrong) Enigma used his "Pinkie Sense" to tell when somepony called him a girl (recently, not throughout the entire book).

NINJA-PON3

“Oh, that.” He shrugs. “It’s something I found out about myself awhile back. If I sneeze twice in a row, then somepony I can’t see has just called me a mare.” He clenches his teeth, taking a deep calming breath. “Not a mare.”

Vinyl rolls her eyes, turning to the co-hosts. “He gets mistaken for a mare quite often due to his appearance. You know, smaller frame, feminine voice - not kidding, it sounds like Dashie’s - rounded snout and noticeable eyelashes.” She points out the characteristics as she mentions them. “I’m surprised you didn’t mistake him for a mare, before.”

Rhino shrugs, “Well, I knew his name and you kept referring to the pony of that name as a ‘he’ earlier, plus his question cards have his gender on them. I guess that would be why. I can understand why some would think he is a mare at first glance though, just as I can understand why this would be something he hates.” He takes another glance at Enigma, “I would suggest growing a beard like I can, but somehow I feel that would just draw more odd glances.”

The pegasus scrunches up his snout, frowning. “I tried that once. I looked rather stupid with any long facial hair.”

“I guess some can pull it off, some can’t. Not too sure what you can do though, besides correct them.” He shrugs again, “Ah well, next question:”

What is the best part about being with Vinyl?

Rhino

“Where to begin?” He chuckles, wrapping a wing around her. “I’ve known her ever since she answered a letter of mine. I didn’t even expect it to make it to her.” He shrugs a bit. “The best part, though, is feeling like I have a purpose. She’s the reason I’m here.” He nuzzles her cheek, feeling the heat coming from it. “It’s also nice to see her cute blush.”

Rhino smiles as he props his head up with a hoof, “Awww.” He chuckles as he flips through the few cards remaining, “Here we go:”

What is your favorite thing about music?

Rhino

“My favorite thing about music?” He taps his chin, thinking a little. “I suppose I like how it conveys emotion. Whether through a ballad or a masterfully-written composition, I enjoy music that causes me to feel something.”

The other stallion nods, “Agreed. I feel something can also be said for the music that you can simply become engrossed in so much so that you just stop thinking for awhile, and simply ...are. No worries, just you and the music.”

Vinyl nods, giggling softly. “I feel you both. That’s what I try to do with my own music. I try to weave a metaphorical story into them - one that you don’t hear, but instead feel, see in your mind’s eye. Y’know what I mean.”

Rhino doesn’t answer as he simply stares into space. Specter leans over and snaps his fingers a few times to get his attention, “Hey, no zoning out to your head music right now.”

The green pony shakes himself out of it, “Right right, sorry. Next question:”

Enigma: I see that you really care for your friend Broadway. But have you ever thought of being more than just a friend to her? Maybe even a dad?

raybony

He blinks, surprised by the question. “...I never considered that, no.” He shrugs, sheepish. “I’m not sure I could be a father to her. I have trouble disciplining fillies and colts.”

Rhino raises an eyebrow. “Is that really all that’s stopping you?”

He frowns slightly, thinking a little harder. “I have trouble taking care of myself. I barely get myself up in the morning - and that is only so I don’t upset my love.”

Vinyl glances away, slightly uncomfortable at this.

Specter huffs, “Well that sucks. I would think it would be good for both you and her.” He shrugs, “But, I guess maybe you aren’t quite ready.”

His owner simply hums in thought. “Let’s just move on shall we:”

I'm kinda confused. You said the last section would explain why Enigma was acting like he did. How was he acting again? And why was BlueBlood trying to kill him?..Or will that be answered in the Q&A?

Sorry for missing all this...It's been a long night...

Brony Leader

“I can answer that.” Vinyl giggles, pushing playfully on her pegasus. “E here might get mad at being called a mare, but he’ll never blatantly attack a pony because of it. Not unless he’s in the middle of a fight already, I mean. Also, that needle was full of a specialized love poison. It wouldn’t have killed him, just made him fall for that upstuck noble ass.” She turns to the side, sheepishly smiling. “No offense.”

The donkey there nods, smiling genially. “None taken.”

Rhino looks slightly alarmed, “Really? Sounds like he really was a sicko.”

She sighs, shaking her head. “Not so. As it turns out, he was being mind-controlled. It was almost foal-proof - we’d never have caught it if somepony hadn’t knocked the device off his royal face.”

Specter shakes his head, “Why does it always have to be complicated? Why can’t the pony just be a sicko, you beat the tar out of them, then not feel guilty about it since they deserved it?”

Rhino speaks frankly, “Or you just don’t have the entire situation to begin with.”

“True, but we have to give them the benefit of the doubt.” She gets up, about to leave. “Well, I suppose that’s everything. Thank you for being here with us, Rhy.”

The green unicorn raises a hoof, “Umm, actually, there’s two more questions. They’re for both you and E.”

“Oh?” She promptly plops her plot back down, curious. “What would they be?”

“Ahem:”

How does "Keep Calm and Flutter On" and "Magical Mystery Cure" affect this story and its canon? That scene I'm thinking about makes me believe that something very odd is going on.

SuperChaosKG

“Oh, that one’s easy.” Vinyl waved a hoof dismissively, giggling a bit. “The events of this story assume that the show stops before the Season Three Finale.” She taps her chin, thinking about that for a moment. “Strike that, we just assume that Twi never became an alicorn. That makes more sense. As for Discord, he just went too long without causing chaos. The Princesses put him in the sun as a punishment, but that’s more akin to a time-out than anything else.”

Enigma stares at her blankly. “...Twi became an alicorn? What are you talking about? The last time I checked, she didn’t have wings...”

“Alternate universe stuff, I would assume. Last question:”

E and Vinyl: I hope you know that unless somepony's smart enough to realize it, that ‘A’ word's gonna be on a lot of minds until you speak up... right?

TPurnell18

The couple blush brightly, at a loss for words. They lean towards each other, whispering softly to each other.

Eventually, the white mare speaks up, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. “...Um...I don’t think I’ll be able to mention the word and allow this story to keep a ‘teen’ rating...”

Rhino holds up both hooves, “No need to elaborate, message received.”

She sighs in relief, leaning against her love. “That’s good. What we do in the bedroom should be private anyways.” She looks up at the other unicorn, a playful smirk on her lips. “Don’t you agree?~”

The stallion avoids her eyes as he points in a random direction, “Oh look, a change of subject!”

She frowns at him, an eyebrow quirked. “I’m not falling for that a third time, dude.”

Enigma points out the window. “Oh, look, a Changeling.”

Vinyl was gone, crashing through the window. “I’MA CRUSH THAT INSECT! WHERE THE BUCK IS IT?!”

He looks at the green stallion, shrugging a bit. “She hates Changelings, if it wasn’t obvious.”

Specter just looks at the window, “As the squirrel here, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say it was obvious.”

Rhino turns back to Enigma, “So what happens now? To both the show and me I suppose.”

“Well, you can stay here as long as you like. The show will probably be ending soon enough.” He gets up, holding out a hoof. “And hey, you can keep the headset if you don’t think it’ll freak ponies out in your universe.” He looks at the window, thinking a bit. “...strike that, Vi might need it later on.”

The squirrel secures the headset further on his head, “So I can keep this until we leave for home or until Vinyl needs it?”

Rhino nods. “As for how long we’ll be staying, I guess Twilight has some say in this, but I don’t personally see the harm in staying for at least a little bit.”

“Until you leave for home, and I think Twi will be fine with you staying a bit.” He turns to the pony behind the camera. “You can end the broadcast now.”

With that, the program fades to black.

Author's Note

Again, special thanks goes to Rhino for allowing his OC to be in this chapter, as well as the ones who answered the questions posed for their OC’s. :twilightsmile:

Concerning the contest, yes, it’s over (or at least it will be, tomorrow), but it’ll take a while before I can decide on the winner (even though few people entered which was to be expected). Expect that sometime later this month.

"There's a group for ERBoMLP-verse stories, by the way. Click here if you're interested in that, or here if you're interested in a fic where a few friends fight for fun!~"

And Vi’s comment about the fight might just have some meaning for another story. Just saying!

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #28

The black alicorn watched the whole event play out through a black crystal ball. She nodded in acknowledgement, turning to her captive with a sneer of contempt. “How does it feel, to know that the mare you care about the most has abandoned you?” She ran a hoof over the pegasus’s cheek, tracing the streaks of lighter red on his darker fur. “To know that you can be so easily replaced?”

He didn’t answer, his breaths too shallow to allow any verbal communication. All he could do was sit there, helpless to free himself. He focused one eye on the scrying crystal, seeing his love in the embrace of another pony - a clone of himself. “...I won’t let you win...”

The dark conqueror frowned, leaning closer. “Speak up, mare! You shall address royalty properly!” She tilted the pony’s head up and froze, caught in the gaze.

The dark red pegasus glared at her, frowning deeply. His crimson eyes shined with defiance, his left eye sporting a symbol in the shape of a bird. “Would you kindly keep away from me?” He smirked as she did so, despite her visibly straining against the order. He stood, coughing softly. He shook off the ropes that had previously bound him. “As I said, I won’t let you win.”

The alicorn watched in horror, slowly backing away. “It’s not possible! How did you escape?”

“Physics.” He laughed, shaking his head. “I figured out where the bindings were weakest and applied just enough force for it to come undone.” He held up a hoof, brandishing a bracelet with the exact symbol as was on his eye. “The Geass Bracelet helped, too. I made sure you and your friend wouldn’t realize what I was doing. Kinda sad, considering that she was trying to masquerade as me.” He gathered up his saddlebag, tightening it around his middle. He moved towards a window but paused, raising a hoof to his chin. “...did I forget anything?” After thinking for a moment, he shrugged, waving to his former-captor. “See ya, Nightmare Woon!”

The pitch-black pony growled, her reptilian eyes narrowing in anger. “It’s Nightmare Moon!”

“Yeah, and I’m not a mare. Now, would you kindly smack yourself in the face?”

Before she could even register what he’d asked of her, one of her own hooves flew up and smacked her across the snout. She yelped in shock, tenderly holding her nose.

“Thanks. Oh, and one more thing.” He held a hoof straight up, his elbow bent at a ninety degree angle. He placed his other hoof on top of the bend. “You should know what this means!” With that, he flew off, taking the artifacts with him.

The alicorn roared in anger, calling out after the dark red pegasus. “YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS SOMEDAY, ENIGMA!”

A gray mare sat in a cafe, playing with a small metal star she found in her daughter’s room. “I thought stars had six points?” She sighed, looking around for her newest friend. “I wonder if he’s okay.”

As she said that a voice came from behind her, “Well, I’m glad to know you care.” She turned around quickly to see a green unicorn smiling at her as he made his way to the seat opposite her.

“Oh, Rhino, I’m so glad you could make it.” She smiled back, carefully grabbing one of the menus with a hoof. “What would you like to eat? I’ll pay for it. After all, you’re a guest in our dimension.”

“Oh, you don’t need to do that...”

“Oh, but I insist! I want to be sure that you’re comfortable while you’re here.” She glanced down at the menu, blinking in surprise. “...I...I don’t see any muffins on here...” She placed the menu back down, resting her head on the table. “I’m suddenly not hungry.”

The stallion tilted his head to one side, concerned, “We could go somewhere else if you want, I don’t mind.”

“Well...” She closed one eye, focusing the other on his face. “...we could go to my place. Dinky heard of you from Pinch, and she really wants to meet you.”

He smiled, “That sounds fun. Any friend of Pinchy’s is probably just as endearing. Is this ‘Dinky’ your daughter?”

“Yes, she is.” She giggled, jumping to her hooves and starting to walk off in one direction. “This way, Rhino!”

He chuckled as he tailed the happy mare, “Onward indeed.”

They walked through town, discussing minor things, such as the weather and what types of music they listen to. Soon enough, they were approaching a house with a muffin mailbox.

Rhino stopped to look at the box, “Huh, never thought about getting a custom mailbox...” He shook his head before following Ditzy to the door, where he held it open for her once she unlocked it, “Ladies first.”

She giggled, walking inside and towards the kitchen. She stopped in the hallway, staring at an interesting sight in front of her.

A purple filly was currently laying on her back, gawking up at a fuchsia filly. The second pony was currently standing upside down on the ceiling, beaming down at her friend. “Come on, Dinky! You can do it!”

The blonde filly looked at her hooves, pouting a little. “...I don’t know, Bewy...yew awe always so good at picking up spells...I just...” Her voice trailed off as she saw the two adults standing nearby. “...hi?”

“It’s Rhino!” The unicorn on the ceiling leaped down, tackle-hugging the stallion happily.

“Oof!” Rhino gasped as the filly crashed into him. He laughed once he got his breath back. “Good to see you too, Pinchy!”

She giggled, nuzzling his cheek a little before letting go. “What brings you here? Are you here to teach that circle to Dinky?”

The filly held up a hoof, a little hesitant. “...I’m fine...weally...”

The stallion looked at the filly’s curious position, “Oh dear, she didn’t fall from the ceiling did she?”

“...I fell when I stepped onto the wall...”

“Oh, my poor muffin!” Ditzy rushed forward, wrapping her daughter in a loving embrace. “Don’t worry, I know just what will help you feel better!”

To be honest, Dinky wasn’t even hurting. The offer was too good to resist, though. “Muffins!”

The pony nodded, smiling brightly at her. “Yep! I’ll even make your favorite - chocolate chip!”

“Yay!” She followed her mother, happily beaming.

This left Berry with Rhino. The little filly looked up at him, a question on the tip of her tongue. Being a young pony, she couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Can you teach my friend magic? Please?” She raised herself up with her forehooves on his chest, her eyes large and pleading - her patented doe eyes.

Rhino lasted about two seconds before he had to shut his eyes. “Gah! I was gonna say yes anyway!” He peeked a moment to make sure she turned off the eyes, “Just make sure it’s okay with her mom.”

She beamed brightly once more. “Thank you!” She wrapped her forelegs around him, giggling happily.

The stallion mumbles to himself as he returns the hug, “Here’s hoping your friend can’t do that too, or I’m in trouble...”

Pinch pulled away for a moment, thinking about that thought. “...I don’t think she knows how to do that.” She glanced towards the kitchen doorway, curious. “Do you smell that?”

Rhino gave a few sniffs. “Chocolate.” He grinned at the filly. “Bet I can get there before you.”

“You’re on!” She raced towards the doorway, happily giggling as she slid through it and across the tiles. “I win!”

“Oh no!” Rhino said in mock distress. “How will I ever get a tasty muffin if all three of you get there before me?”

“Don’t wowy, Mistew Whino, thewe’s plenty fow evewypony!” Dinky smiled kindly, holding one out for him, carefully balanced on one hoof.

“Well thank you, Dinky.” He levitated the muffin over to himself and took a bite, his eyes glazing over slightly as he does so.

“They’re really good, Miss Ditzy!” Berry took another bite and swallowed, remembering something. “Oh, that’s right! Rhino said he’d be willing to teach Dinky magic!”

Rhino stopped eating long enough to utter one word, “If...” He immediately went back to the muffin with a smile.

The filly in question looked up at him, her eyes wide in wonder. “...if what, Mistew?”

He licked his lips after he finished the muffin. “If it’s okay with your mom. You’re her muffin after all.”

“It’s perfectly fine, Rhino.” Ditzy pulled out another rack of muffins and set them on the cooling rack, smiling brightly. “You see, her father and I aren’t unicorns, and every other adult unicorn in town is too busy to teach her. This could be the only time we can get a teacher without moving to Canterlot or another big city.”

He bowed his head towards the mother, “Well then, it’ll be my honor to teach her.”

“Thank yew!” The purple filly rushed over and hugged one of his forelegs, beaming brightly.

“Dinky! I’m the only one who’s allowed to do that!” Berry leaped forward, wrapping herself around his other foreleg, playfully sticking her tongue out at her friend.

Rhino grinned and rolled his eyes, “Anypony else I should know about who wants in on this hugfest?”

Ditzy giggled, shrugging a bit. “I would, but I think the Doctor would be a bit jealous if he found out.”

He shrugged, “Oh well,” he glanced down to the two fillies, “guess I belong to you two then.” He stopped and thought for a moment. “I’ll have to introduce you to Specter then, he is my teaching aid.”

They both looked up at him in curiosity. The pink one spoke up for the both of them. “Specter?”

Rhino flicked one of his ears repeatedly, “You awake up there, Specs?”

A tiny yawn comes from his mane. “Well, I am now.” The small furry head of the black flying squirrel pops up with his headset on and peers down curiously at the scene. “Umm, what did I miss?”

The stallion nods at the fillies attached to his forelegs. “Meet the students.”

“SO CUTE!” A magical aura wrapped around the squirrel and pulled him into the embrace of an excitable fuchsia unicorn. “And he can talk, too! That’s so amazing!~”

Specter looked back at his owner as affection was piled onto him. “I think I can live with this arrangement.”

Meanwhile, Dinky had quietly snuck onto the taller unicorn’s back. It was really comfortable there, and it had been a long day. I suppose I can close my eyes for a bit... Before long, she’d fallen asleep, her hooves gripping the stallion’s back softly.

Smiling at Pinchy playing with Specter, Rhino turned to where he last saw Dinky, only to find her missing. He looked around the kitchen for her until a telltale breathing registered on his back. He craned his neck around to see the little filly snoring lightly. He simply smiled as he let her sleep.

Vinyl sighed, resting her head against her stallion’s shoulder, gently stroking his sides. She gently nipped his neck, her hoof slowly trailing lower and lower.

She stopped when her hoof bumped against something, frowning deeply. ...that’s odd... She rubbed the obstacle, her brow furrowing with each passing second, even as the pegasus next to her groaned softly. The disk jockey looked down and immediately leaped away, eyes wide in horror. “...y-you’re not E...”

The red pegasus frowned, standing up and calmly approaching the unicorn, maroon eyes filled with pain. “...how can you say that, Vi?”

Vinyl growled, smacking the other pony across the face. “Don’t call me Vi! And I know you’re not E because he’s been genderbent!”

The pony blinked in shock, their dumbstruck expression slowly shifting to a devious smirk. “...so, you finally figured it out...” The impostor stepped forward, a green flame slowly moving over their body, shifting dark red fur to a black carapace as it went. “...but I fear that your Enigma is nowhere to be found.”

Vinyl scowled at the pony, poking a hoof against her chest. “Do you have any idea what I am gonna do to you if I find one itty, bitty scratch on him?”

Chrysalis laughed, grinning down at her. “Let me guess. You’re gonna pound my face. Break every bone in my body. Then you’re gonna drag me across a gravel road and feed my remains to a warthog.” She leans down, practically sneering at her. “Is that about right?”

The disk jockey just stared at her, a confused expression on her face. “What are you, nuts? This is Equestria.” She grinned, grabbing her shades and putting them on. “I’m gonna beat your flank in a rap battle.”

The insect-pony huffed, rolling her eyes. “Oh, I doubt that. Besides, your little loser of a lover is nowhere to be seen.”

“Leeroy...”

They both paused, curious about the random voice. The taller of the two looked out a window, noticing a dark red speck, which was slowly growing larger. “...what the f-”

“JENKINS!”

A pegasus flew through the open window, colliding hindleg-first against the changeling queen. She fell down, knocked over more from the surprise than the actual force of the attack. He stood there, glaring down at the shocked pony for a few seconds before lifting his left hindleg, wincing slightly. “...ow...what was I thinking, doing that?”

The dark pony stood up, staring down at the pony that struck her. “This is an...unexpected turn of events.” She glanced at the pegasus’s cheek, noticing a small scar. “...oh, buck me.”

Vinyl cracked her neck, eyes narrowed in anger. “You know what this means, Chrysi.”

Soon enough, the three ponies were on the stage in the middle of town square. The white mare glared at the Queen standing in front of her, trembling slightly.

Enigma walked up to her, gently placing a hoof on her shoulder. “...is something wrong, Vi?”

She turned to him, nodding almost imperceptibly. “...I...I’m drawing a blank on this one, E...I mean, how do I rap against a pony I know nothing about?”

The burgundy pegasus tapped his chin, looking at the smug changeling and then the crowd. “Maybe somepony else can rap for you?”

The disk jockey scoffed, shaking her head. “Who else is there? I can’t think of anypony else who’d have a grudge against this...insect.”

“Pardon me, but I believe I may be able to help in this regard.”

The couple turned and stared, surprised at the pink mare that flit in from above. Enigma snapped out of it first, his words filled with awe. “...Princess?”

Princess Cadence nodded to the pegasus and his marefriend in greeting, then glared at the changeling on the other side of the stage. “I never got to have proper words with you after your invasion so long ago,” she announced in a surprisingly threatening manner.

Chrysalis laughed, shaking her head. “I should have expected as much - the pathetic princess, upset at me taking her stallion from her.” She sneered, eyes narrowed. “I’m going to enjoy this.”

Cadence’s glare didn’t falter. “Miss Scratch? Be a dear and start the music, will you?”

With a shaky nod, Vinyl rushed behind the turntables. Hastily conjuring up her patented illusion spell, she started up the music and shouted out to the crowd.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

Let’s get this battle over with, you wannabe queen
I may have the magic of love, but I’m not afraid to get mean
My rhymes will blow more holes in you than you already have
You feed on love, Chrissy, so why are you getting mad?
You say you rule the Changelings? Well, I pity your species
I’ll take you down like I did Sombra, blow you into pieces
Maybe I’ll cast a love spell on you as a prank
While my cutie mark is turned to you, so you can kiss my flank!

Please, as if I'd ever touch you; I might get a disease.
My brand of hard rhymes will force you onto your knees.
Not that you need any more incentive to do just that -
You’d bang anypony at the drop of a hat!
Speaking of Sombra, you never finish the job.
Then again, that’s to be expected of a pink slob!
I’m better than you - that, everypony can see.
If you're not sorry by now, Cadenza, you will be.

Oh, I’m the one who can never get anything completed?
Do I have to remind you who was thrown out of Canterlot defeated?
Here’s a hint: she thinks she’s a master of disguise
But her illusions can be seen through by anypony with two working eyes
When you look at me, your magic isn’t all that’s green
It’s obvious you’re jealous of the attention I receive
But I’m afraid that this battle has come down to the wire
So surrender to the ruler of the Crystal Empire!

As if! You’re a sad, two-dimensional mare.
So thinly spread, I can rip you apart without care!
Your personality is so cliched it kills others’ joy.
The only reason you exist is to sell some toys!
And tell me, nympho, if I’m bad at hiding my face,
How did only one pony think something was out of place?
You say I’m jealous, but you’re the one who’s hurt.
After all, I was your precious husband’s first!

WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Author's Note

Special thanks to RLYoshi for helping with the rap battle, and to Rhino for allowing me to use his OC in this chapter!

I’m sorry for how long this chapter took. I was trying really hard to make a matchup work that would never have worked. :ajsleepy: And now, I’m not entirely sure whether or not my make-up class will take up even more time...I guess we’ll come across that when it happens? :twilightblush:

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #28: Results and Aftermath (Pt. 2)

Out in the street, four ponies peeked around the corner. Vinyl groaned, seeing the street filled with changelings. “Great, our path’s blocked. Now what are we going to do?” She held up a hoof before the burgundy pegasus could say anything. “I don’t care if Town Hall’s two streets over, I don’t like our chances against that big a swarm.”

“Regardless, we need to figure out an alternate.” Octavia turned to Rhino, the gears in her head turning. “Do you think you could teleport us over there?”

The stallion looked thoughtful. “Assuming ‘there’ means Town Hall, no. My Blink has a distance limit so it wouldn’t just be in one fell swoop, it would be multiple jumps. The extra energy needed to transport all of us also complicates things because I wouldn’t be able to pull them off in quick succession. I could get us across the crowded streets if needed, but other than that...” He trailed off.

“Guys?” Enigma pointed to a nearby road. “Why don’t we just go down the alleyway?”

Rhino deadpanned, “The fact that they left it unguarded makes me think they are either very clever, or very stupid.”

“Gotcha.” The feminine stallion leaned against a wall, a hoof on his chin. “...maybe what we need is a diversion?”

Vinyl tapped him on the side of the head, frowning. “What are you, crazy? That’d be suicide!”

Rhino raised a hoof. “Before that line of thought goes any further, might I make a suggestion?”

The sophisticated mare stepped between the couple, nodding to the taller stallion. “Go ahead, Rhino. You have our full attention.”

“Alright, two questions then: One, do you have one of those pellet bombs you used against me? And two, do you mind a small bit of property damage?” He pointed a hoof a little down the street at a billboard.

Octavia smiled, pulling out a small blue sphere. “It’s not like we can’t fix it after all is said and done, Rhino.”

He bowed and did a sweeping gesture with his hoof. “Well then milady, would you like to do the honors?”

She frowned, staring down at the bomb. “I would, but I’m better at planting them directly. Throwing them is not my forte.”

“Got it!” Enigma grabbed the sphere and threw it. He smirked, seeing it land exactly between the uprights. “There. Armed and placed. Now-”

There’s a loud explosion, decimating the pillars holding the sign up and taking out a fair number of changelings at the same time. There’s a creaking noise, followed by a loud thud as the billboard crashed to the street, flattening another batch of changelings that didn’t flee with their kin. After that, things became eerily quiet.

Octavia scratched her head, considering what just happened. “...I think that was one of my regular bombs.”

Rhino stared at the debris. “Well... glad you didn’t use those during the fight... Let’s just move on, shall we?”

Everyone else in the group nodded. They quickly made their way down the now-vacated street and toward town hall.

Outside of the town limits, a brown stallion could be seeing sitting in a strange position, his legs crossed, his body relaxed as he stood there, unmoving. The only sound was of the birds calling out and of the soft breeze of the wind as it blew by.

Relax...let all your frustration wash away. Cinnamon Shy, as this is who the stallion was, thought to himself. Let all your inner conflict boil down. He took a deep breath, letting the fresh scent of his surroundings invade his nostrils. Quiet...

BOOOOOM!

The sudden sound startled the stallion out of his meditation, making him fall to his back. “Just what the buck was THAT!” He screamed as he quickly stood up on all fours, looking in the general direction of where the blast came from.

In the distance he could see a small trail of smoke rising into the air, followed by some black insect-like creatures as they fled the place where the smoke was coming from.

Changelings, in Ponyville? How could this happen? He quickly dismissed the thought, having more urgent matters to attend to. “If those pests are here, they only mean trouble, better find somepony for help.”

He suddenly felt a noticeable shift of weight on his back. Turning around, he saw a lone soldier, holding a black-hilted blade in its mouth. Its eyes narrowed at him, its muscles tensing as it prepared to strike.

Cinnamon just had a look of bemusement as he looked at the insect. “Bad call, bug.” Quickly, dashed forward, punching the side of the face of the changeling, earning him a small cracking sound.

Stunned, the soldier let go of the sword as it tried to recover from the attack. “What the hell!” It glared at the unicorn, wings flared. “Who strikes a lady?!”

Taken aback by the statement, Cinnamon looked at the supposed female as it - she - rubbed her cracked cheek. “You’re a mare?! Well I certainly didn’t see that one coming.”

She huffed, puffing her cheeks out in indignation. “Rude. Also, I’m technically a ‘nymph’.” She turned away, lifting her tail. “Drones don’t have these.”

After seeing the exposed ‘region’, Cinnamon raised a hoof to his eyes, covering his view from the nymph and hopefully hiding his blush. “Oh by Faust...I didn’t mean to look there, I swe-” He was interrupted as he felt a pair of hooves hitting him straight in the chest.

The soldier laughed, shaking her head. “I can’t believe you actually looked! You’re even blushing, you pervert!” She playfully pushed his shoulder.

He mentally facehoofed himself, falling for one of the oldest tricks in the book, at least when facing a mare. Nice one, Cinnamon, now you look like a xenophile and a pervert.

“You’re funny.” The nymph giggled, walking past him and brushing his cheek with her tail. “It’s too bad I’m not a lone changeling. The collective calls, after all.” She trotted towards the town, her flattened ears the only sign of hesitance. “I hope I won’t be late, again...the Queen will punish me if I am...” She stopped, turning towards the unicorn with a scowl on her face. “Make a joke about ‘a very important date’, and I’ll kick you again - this time, lower.” Her frown turned into a playful smirk. “It’d be a shame to break that toy, don’t you agree?”

“You even try, and I’ll rip you in half, you hear me?” he said as he puffed some steam out of his nose. Just to realize what he just said.

She stopped and shook her hips at him, giving him a sultry look over her shoulder. “That sounds so raunchy.” She grinned, resuming her departure. “I like it.~”

Cinnamon wasn’t paying attention, as he was too busy smashing his head repeatedly on a nearby tree trunk.

As she left, a small piece of parchment fell from under her wings.

After he had physically assaulted his head enough, he looked in the direction of where the nymph left, noticing the out of place piece of paper on the ground. Calling forth his magic, he levitated the paper towards his face and examined it.

Nymph 69 of Hive 63.

Ponyville Train Station.

Thirty minutes.

Be there or you’ll be fired.

From a cannon.

“69? Well, it fits her perfectly.” He tossed the paper behind his shoulder, letting it get taken on the wind. “Whatever they’re planning can’t be good, maybe there is somepony that can help me there.” With a new goal set to his mind, Cinnamon levitated Mystic Darkness and sheathed back to his back before galloping off, heading towards the train station which was not far from where he was.

A cerulean mare hid in the trees near the train station, holding her friend’s strange device to her chest. She gulped, peeking out at the insectoid forms on the platform. “...I didn’t think this would happen my first day as a volunteer nurse...what should I do?”

There was a loud whistle, announcing the arrival of the train. The changelings grinned, getting ready to take the passengers as soon as the doors opened.

The poor pony in the shadows panicked, wanting to help but unsure of what she could do. There was movement in the corner of her eye, and she turned, seeing a brown stallion running towards the platform.

“Oni GIRI!” As those words came out, the stallion moved across the ground, taking out a few changelings on the way, crippling their wings and limbs to stop them from escaping or fighting back.

The mare in the shadows gaped at this. Who the hay is this? She slowly shifted closer to the treeline, trying to get a better look. He’s obviously a hero, protecting the train like that.

As the rest of the insect ponies took notice of the new arrival, they started to hiss and bare their fangs in disgust towards the stallion. A few of the changelings started to gather around the unicorn, closing any route of escape that he may have.

She took a single step into the open, her eyes on the stallion. He’ll be fine. He took out a huge number of them easily, right?

“Well now, thirty of you ugly bug faces versus one of me, seems hardly fair.” He sheathed two of his swords back into their respective sheatles, only leaving one out for use. “So I’ll make it easier for you.”

Taking this as a challenge, three of the group members dashed towards the brown stallion. At the last second, Cinnamon grabbed the neck one of the soldiers before throwing him against another one, knocking them both to the ground.

The third one had taken flight and was head bombing towards the stallion from one side. Raising his sword, Cinnamon stopped the incoming bug in its tracks, before slamming a hoof to his head and then kicking him towards the other two changelings who were recovering from the attack.

But before they could even get the chance to attack again, the unicorn swung his sword in the air with enough force that the air in front of him was pushed forward into an air blade, hitting the trio of changelings and sending them back into the crowd, taking with them another five.

Putting the sword to the ground and resting his weight on top of it, he looked into the faces of the insect ponies, who were looking at him with more hatred than before. “So who’s next?” he taunted as he flashed them a grin.

A single changeling, possibly wanting to make a name for itself, launched right at the stallion. He received a flying hoof to the head for his efforts.

The cerulean mare stared at the downed soldier at her hooves for a second before spinning around to Cinnamon, grinning brightly. “Did you see that? I just took that changeling down with one kick!” She pumped a hoof into the air. “That was so great!”

The changelings leaped back at the new arrival, unsure of what to make of her strange behavior. They kept their distance, their gazes shifting between the two.

“Hey uglies, you’re facing me not her, or am I gonna have to come and get you myself?” The brown stallion said as he took a step forward, bringing his sword to chest level.

The mare turned to him, frowning slightly. “I have a name, you know. It’s Mel-SWEET CELESTIA!” She jumped, finally noticing the odd addition to the stallion’s body. “What the hoof is that?!”

“Wha?” Following the line of sight of the mare, he came upon a cobra with dark brown scales and yellow eyes, which was coming out from the mess that was his own tail. “Tootsy! I didn’t tell you to come out.”

The cobra looked into the brown stallion, hissing to him as if in response to what he had been told. “Well I don’t care if you are bored out of your mind, you can’t just pop out like that whenever you feel like it.”

Melody stared at the two, stunned. “...that unicorn’s talking to a snake...attached to his tail...” She scratches her head, considering this for a moment. “...still not the strangest thing I’ve ever seen.” She turned to a nearby soldier, smiling kindly. “Don’t you agree?”

It rolled its eyes (at least, it appeared to). “Tell me about it.” It turned, staring off into space for a moment. It then sighed, turning towards the others. “Come on, troops. The captain needs us at the hollowed-out tree.” With that, the squadron took to the air, heading over to the other side of town.

The mare grinned, seeing them departing. “We won!” She hugged the stallion, giggling excitedly. “We saved the passengers!”

Snapping out from his heated argument with his reptilian tail, Cinnamon turned to look around to see not a trace of the insect ponies, before frowning a bit. “Damn it, and I wanted to have some fun messing with them.” The cobra did a raspberry (at least I think it was) at the stallion.

The cerulean pony looked at his face, doing her best to not notice the serpent. “They said something about the hollowed-out tree.” She glanced in the direction the soldiers left, thinking a bit. “Did they mean the library?”

Cinnamon turned and Looked at the direction in which the group of changelings had left, a thinking look on his face. “The library? Now what would they want to read during and invasion?” He looked down to the mare, seeing as she was still holding him in a hug. “Hey, you can let go of me now.”

She squeaked, letting go of him and moving to a comfortable distance. “Sorry!” She began to trot towards the library, thinking out loud. “Maybe they want the Elements of Harmony. I remember seeing them there the last time I checked out a book.”

Upon hearing the words ‘Elements of Harmony’, Cinnamon started recalling past letters of her sister, telling him about her friends and how she had become a bearer of the Element of Kindness.

Then, he realized what was going on; they were capturing the bearers to avoid any risks of stopping the invasion. Which meant they were after his baby sister. “We need to go, now!” Not even given the mare time to question his decision, he grabbed her with his magic and placed her on his back, galloping with determination of protecting his sister.

She looked over her shoulder at him, eyes wide in panic. “Hey! We’re heading the wrong way!”

“How do you know?”

“Because you put me on here backwards and the library’s in front of me!”

The stallion looked back, seeing the top of a tree in the middle of the town which was being guarded by changelings. “I-I knew that.” He said, stammering a bit as he was caught looking like an idiot.

The mare tapped him on the side with a hoof, starting to breathe a little heavily. “Then why are we heading towards the Everfree?!”

Cinnamon stayed silent, thinking of an excuse that may get him off the hook; which he didn’t. “Umm, taking the scenic route?” He gave a sheepish smile, while he turned around and changed direction towards the town’s library..

“That’s not a valid reason!” She gripped his body tightly, hyperventilating. “And can you please have your snake not stare at me?!”

The cobra looked over the shoulder of the mare, hissing to its owner at the request. “I don’t care if you think she looks cute, just leave her alone and go back into the tail.” He commanded, which the tail simply ignored as it tried to get the mare to like it by licking her nose with its split tongue.

Her hold on Cinnamon’s body immediately vanished, her legs dangling limply from his sides. Her soft breathing seemed to imply that she was merely asleep.

Cinnamon stopped in his tracks, not wanting to risk having the mare fall off him as he galloped towards the library. “Great. Now I have to find something to hold her to my back.” He didn’t have to wait long, as the reptilian tail stretched long across and wrapped itself tightly around the shape of the sleeping mare. “Urrgh, it’ll have to do for now, we don’t have much time to waste.” He galloped off again, now with the mare secured on his back.

Unnoticed to them, a white filly sneaks off the train, quietly yet swiftly following the duo.

Vinyl skidded to a halt, looking up at the building in front of them. “Well, here we are.”

They stood in the center of town square, which was just as empty as it was before the group started out. The only things visible were the buildings around them and the stage next to town hall.

The burgundy pegasus glanced around, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. “...something’s not right...shouldn’t there at least be some animals?”

The green stallion looked around as well. “They probably knew something bad was happening and fled also... Still, the lack of noise here is disturbing...”

Vinyl started to wander about, staring at the stage. “...something’s missing there...I just can’t put my hoof on it...” She turned to the sophisticated mare but paused, noticing that her eyes were closed. “...Tavi?”

She didn’t answer, a foreleg slowly moving to the bows on her back. Suddenly, her eyes shot open and, in a blur, she slashed at the air next to her.

For a moment, nothing happened. Then the air she just attacked distorted, a single changeling falling forward. Octavia turned to the others, a grave look on her face. “...I was wrong...they’re all around us...”

It was as if the universe was waiting on those words. The air around them melted away, thousands of the insect-like warriors revealing themselves. A green flame engulfed the stage, dispersing to show the one behind the whole invasion.

Chrysalis laughed, leering at the ponies. “Like flies into the spider’s web. Wouldn’t you agree?” She turned to a red-tinted soldier next to her.

It - he - nodded, silently staring at the group before them.

Rhino let out a large breath. “Well... buck. Now what?”

Vinyl scoffed, pulling her bladed weapon out of her sheath. “Isn’t it obvious?”

Enigma clapped his mythril-clad hooves together, small red sparks springing from the impact. “We fight.”

Octavia placed a hoof on the green stallion’s shoulder, smiling softly. “I understand that this isn’t your universe. We’d appreciate it if you helped us out, though.”

The stallion grimaced as he draws the black kunai from his bag. He looked around then grinned at the others as he looked back at them. “Well, you are my friends. What did you expect me to do after coming all this way with you?”

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “What a lovely but absolutely ridiculous sentiment.” She pointed at the group and the soldiers immediately blitzed them.

Vinyl frowned, shaking her head. “...bucking zerg rush...” She braced herself, getting ready to take the swarm head-on.

Hiding in an alleyway which overlooked the town’s library, Cinnamon looked about at everything that was happening. Checking the patrols and guards, plus having a small peek at the inside of the building, spotting dozens more of the creeps inside, plus a purple unicorn and dragon, who were being held hostage.

Melody, having woken up a few minutes ago, peeked over his shoulder, curious. “So what can you see? Any way to get inside?”

Turning to the mare, the stallion shook his head in response. “Place is tighter than Fort Trot. Four patrols walking around, guards positioned at the doors and windows, and the air space is covered. So we can’t do an air assault and I lack knowledge on teleportations spells.” He stomped the ground a bit as he finished in frustration, at not being able to do anything. “And if we try going head on, we would be overpowered, so I don’t know what to do.”

“That can’t be, there’s always a way.” The mare looked around the corner, trying to spot anything that the stallion may had missed. Looking at the second level of the tree, she spotted a small window which was unguarded and was covered from the view of the flying changelings. “Hey, what about that window?”

Looking back around the corner, Cinnamon spotted what the mare was referring to. “I saw it, but it’s too small for us to fit through. The only way we are getting through there is if we are flexible like rubber or if we are the size of a child.”

“Could I be of any assistance? Is that the right way to say it? Darn it, that sounded so much cooler in my head...” a young voice said behind them. “I don’t know if you know me, but I know that you’re Cinnamon Shy, and I still have a grudge to settle with the changelings after they kidnapped a friend of mine.”

The duo turn around to spot a small filly who seemed pump about getting a chance of helping out. “Oh no, I will not put a child in risk against these bugs.” Cinnamon said as turned around to look back at the tree library.

“But you just said that you needed some way to get inside! And I’m the perfect size for the job.” The filly refuted to the stallion as she flew in front of him and pointed an accusing hoof at him.

Melody shrugged. “I hate to say it, but she’s right. We need a way to get inside and she seems to be our only solution.”

“Even if that’s true, I can’t allow the chance that she may get hurt on my behalf. I appreciate you wanting to help, girl, but we-” He stopped once he noticed that the filly wasn’t there anymore. “Hey, where did she go?”

“Up there.” She pointed at the window they saw, the filly already halfway through it and turning around to wave at them.

“Does she want to get herself killed? There are bound to be dozens of changelings inside, just how is she planning to get us inside?” He watched all the time towards the window until he spotted a white blur hitting the two guards that were guarding the balcony window.

“Like that.” Melody giggled, looking up at the balcony. “Think you could help me get up there?”

The stallion was just recovering from seeing the filly take on two changeling guards by herself. “I, what? Oh, right, if you don’t mind having Tootsie here wrapping you again.” The sentence was finished as the cobra went out from the stallion’s tail.

Her eye twitched slightly but she nodded. “Sure, as long as he doesn’t lick me again.”

“You heard the lady, and I expect you to behave this time.” The snake made a kind of frown but nodded to the request, wrapping itself around the mare but not too tight as it would normally do to a prey.

“Ok, get ready, because this may be a bit fast.” Taking steps back down the alley, the stallion got ready before starting galloping down the alleyway. His horn started shining and his whole body and the mare’s started to get surrounded as well.

Just when they started to get out, they glowed brighter and in a flash, they traveled so fast, that they nearly managed to break the sound barrier. But their aim was off, as they ended up smashing themselves into the branches of the tree and managed to shake the whole structure.

“This is what..*Gasp* I hate *Gasp* about this spell *Gasp* can’t slow down *Gasp* enough afterwards” he wheezed as he got himself out of the trunk, moving slowly as to not make them obvious to the rest of the changelings.

“You could have told me that you know?” Melody grumbled as she fell the few feet to the balcony, where the filly helped her up. “But I don’t see how would have been an inconvenience for us to get in before?”

“The spell takes a lot out of me *Gasp* I would have needed a few minutes to *Gasp* get myself together, which is enough for them to get me and you.” He replied, now having recovered from the spell.

She glanced over her shoulder at him, playfully smiling. “I think it happened, anyways.”

“Catch your breath and c’mon, we’ve gotta get going. and kick some changeling flank!” the filly happily bounced up and landed in a fighting stance. “Oh, and the whole mysterious helper filly aside, my name is Broadway Bound.”

“Very well, Broadway, but once all this is over, we are gonna have a talk about your behavior, but in the meantime.” Cinnamon reached back to his swords, taking hold of them in preparation for the battle. “Feel welcome to help us out.”

“Okay!” she smiled.

“How touching.”

The three ponies turned to the voice, seeing a changeling with short, dark blue hair smiling at them. “Nice to see you again, handsome, but why are you here? And who are these two?”

He facehooved when he noticed the changeling, who was the same one from before. “You again? And here I was expecting just a normal fight. And for why we are here, we are going to get the Elements free from you.”

“Oh?” She put a hoof to her mouth, stifling a giggle. “And how are you going to do that?”

“By taking you guys down and getting rid of the commanding officer in here, so I recommend you to step aside if you don’t want to get hurt.” He threatened as he lowered his stance to dash towards her.

The nymph shook her head, laughing at this. “I don’t think I should!”

Melody, who had watched this in silence, finally spoke up. “Why not?”

The changeling frowned, her eyes narrowing. “Because I’m the one in charge, here.” With no hesitation, she leaped forward, using her knees to knock the brown stallion back into a wall. She then leapt a safe distance away, her horn glowing blue as she smartly saluted. “Gel, Colonel of Hive 42.” She sighed, running a hole-filled hoof through her mane. “Frankly, I’d prefer not to fight, but I’m in no position to argue with the Queen.”

“Why? Think she isn’t going to let you play with her anymore?” He taunted, trying to annoy the nymph.

Gel stared blankly at him. “...you’re serious.” She shook her head, groaning. “I’m not in a relationship with the Queen. That’d be the general.” She turned away, muttering something to herself, too quiet for the ponies to hear.

“Fool,” Cinnamon said softly as he dashed forward, swords raised as he hit the nymph’s wings, rendering them useless.

The nymph scowled at him, what appeared to be a blue fire forming around her body. “What the hoof? Who strikes an opponent who isn’t prepared?!”

“Call it payback, from our last encounter.” He sheathed his swords and brought his hooves up. “But if you want a fair match, I’m more than willing to take the gloves off, figuratively speaking.” He then motioned with his head to the other two ponies to get moving, not realizing that one of them had already departed.

“Let’s make it more even.” She reared back and spat, a glob of blue slime landing on his horn. “Better.” She turned and spat at the mare, barely missing her but making her stop in her tracks. “Don’t you two even think about it. After all...” She moved her gaze back to Cinnamon. “...we need someone to judge our fight. Or you could join. Either way, it’ll be interesting.”

“Don’t worry guys, this will be fa-” He was interrupted as a hoof smack him across the face, sending him stumbling back a bit. “Eager are we?”

She placed a hoof under his chin, smirking a bit. “Payback for payback’s painful, isn’t it?” Before he could respond, she slammed her hoof into her own elbow. The energy transferred along her foreleg and hit him in the jaw, launching him into the air.

Flipping mid air, Cinnamon managed to put himself facing down as he reached the ceiling, and using it as propulsion, he launched down towards the nymph. Only to miss as she disappeared out of view, as he made a small crater on the wood work.

“Glad I’m fast.” Her voice came from behind him. She landed a kick on the side of his hindleg’s knee, assuming that the swordspony didn’t strengthen those as much as his forelegs. She was rewarded with a wet ‘pop’, proving her right. “Dislocated knee, check.” She leaped back, regarding him for a few seconds, the gears visibly turning in her head.

He clenched his teeth in pain, fighting the pain from his dislodged appendage. “You’re good, I’ll give you that.” He said through gritted teeth, before bringing a hoof to his mouth and the other one to his bad leg. Giving it a quick push, he was rewarded with the pop of his bones sliding back in place. “But you are gonna have to try harder than that.” He said as he brought his hooves up again, the one that was on his mouth now had a bleeding bite mark.

Gel frowned, narrowing her eyes. “I don’t kill. I incapacitate. If I went all out, you’d already be dead.” She lowered her stance, smirking coyly. “I doubt you’d like that, stud.” She started to circle around him, waiting for an opening.

What she didn’t expect was a red wave of energy enveloping the stallion. Off to the side, the mare stood, using the device she’d just received on Cinnamon.

Cinnamon turned to look at Melody, giving her a smirk. “Thanks for the assist, sure is good to have a field medic.”

“No problem!” She giggled, looking down at the ray in her hooves. She tilted her head, seeing a switch on it. “What does this do?” She flipped it, almost dropping the gun in her shock as both she and the stallion turned red.

“What the!” He was shocked at the sudden change, but let it drop as soon as he noticed the power increase that he now felt, which made him smirk madly at Gel. “Well then, I guess this is a nice bonus, so you ready to go down?”

She scowled at him, her horn glowing brightly. “You get help...” She grinned, a sword suddenly flying over to her. “...I get help, too.” She leaped forward, kicking him in the face and swiftly moving around him, peppering blows along his body.

Her volley of attacks were stopped when a red-glowing hoof took hold of the blade, while another took hold of the nymphs neck. “Actually, you did say they could join the fight if they wished. And this was supposed to be a clean fight with no magic or weapons, which you broke so.”

She blushed brightly, squirming in his grasp. “W-well she’s using a weapon, so she broke the rules first! I’m justified in-” She stopped mid-sentence, her eyes wide in shock. She looked down and saw the serpent attached to Cinnamon, fangs buried in her flank. “...I’d have prefered your other snake...” She gave a sultry smile before the venom took hold, causing her to faint against him.

Cinnamon looked at the changeling, as she breathed into his soft fur. “You know, if she wasn’t trying to get us and wasn’t such a flirter, I’d say she was adorable.” He slowly set her body down on the floor, not wanting to harm her more than she already was.

The cerulean mare walked up next to him, looking down at the changeling. “I feel a little bad for her, to be honest.”

He looked at the mare with a puzzled look. “How so?”

Melody turned to the stallion, a sad expression on her face. “She didn’t want to fight. She said so herself, and I choose to believe her.” She reached forward, gently stroking the nymph’s mane. “If she didn’t have to follow her Queen’s orders, I’d think she’d be a great friend.”

At this, Cinnamon’s cobra tailed emerged once more and hissed at it’s master while it had some kind of smirk. “Hey, I would never! She may be cute for a changeling, but I told you, I don’t date anymore! At least for now.”

The mare next to him tilted her head, confused. “...what are you talking about?”

He gave a deep sigh as he regained his composure. “Tootsie, here, thinks I like her enough to consider dating, but I decided not to date again for personal reasons, so I told it to just-” THUMP! He was interrupted as a large rock smashed his whole body.

“SNAKE!”

There, at the top of the staircase, stood the lavender unicorn they had come here to free. Next to her stood the white filly, her forelegs still a little sticky from the slime in the capsule that she had to open that had kept the mare captive.

Cinnamon struggled to get free from under the rock, just barely able to get his head out. “W-what happened?”

“I think Twilight saw Tootsie and freaked out.” Melody put a hoof to her chin, thinking a bit. “I remember hearing that she got scared by a den of snakes one Winter Wrap-Up.”

Pushing the boulder off of him, Cinnamon glared at the mare for her actions. “I’ll have you know, Tootsie is my chimera tail, and is part of me.”

The unicorn stared at him, jaw agape. “Are you serious? Y-you didn’t have that at the engagement party, did you?!”

He just stared at her, not really wanting to get into this conversation. “Yes, yes I did. I just ask it to remain hidden inside my pony tail when in public.”

“Tootsie is sooooo cute!” Broadway cooed whilst running up the stairs and then patting its head.

“Well, it’s good to know somepony appreciates it. You have no idea how many freak out when they see me with this tail. Not to mention the side effects from it.” He grumbled the last part, a frown on his face.

“Side effects?” asked the filly, tilting her head.

“I’d rather not talk about it.” He shook his head as he started to go down the stairs. “There are some things better left hidden.”

Broadway looked at the snake again, then removed her hoof and rubbed it against the wall.

Melody watched this exchange with an amused smile. “Oh, I doubt Tootsie is that bad.” She put a hoof to her chin, glancing at the serpent. “...that said, I’d rather not be licked by him again.”

“Hey, if you are done chatting about me and Tootsie, can we get going? The rest of the Elements aren’t going to save themselves.” There was a moment of silence before Cinnamon spoke again. “Actually, that rainbow mare has a very good chance of freeing herself, so we still need to get the other four.”

“Where could they be, though?” pondered the filly, placing a hoof under her chin.

“And don’t think I forgot about you Broadway. We still need to have a talk about your behaviour.”

“I don’t even know what I did wrong,” she grumbled as her head drooped.

The group of ponies, now one member larger, exited the building, hurrying off to the next location.

“This is almost too easy!” Vinyl butted the back of another changeling’s head, watching it crumple from the blow. “I don’t think any of us had to pull out our big guns, yet!” She leaped through a group of changelings, kicking each of them in the head as she passed. She glanced over at the other unicorn, grinning cheekily. “What about you, Rhy?”

Rhino slammed two changeling’s heads together with a burst of telekinesis before quickly parrying a punch with the kunai also held in his magic. He looked to the DJ. “How are you enjoying this?!” He knocked another changeling unconscious, being sure not to land lethal blows on any of them. “We are probably fighting for our lives here!”

“Hey, I’m trying to keep myself entertained!” She flipped over, knocking a changeling into the air, making it collide with two others. “If I didn’t, I’d have probably killed all of the ones I’d just knocked out!” She punched a changeling, her teeth gritted in anger. “They stole my love from me. I could never forget that, even if he is back.”

The green stallion paused at this information. “Oh, that makes sense-Ow!” He turned to see a changeling clamped onto his back leg with its fangs. Rhino frowned and forcibly removed the insectoid pony before bringing it in front of himself. “You just got promoted to blunt instrument, congratulations.” The next few dozen changelings found themselves assaulted by the flailing body of one of their own held in the unicorn’s magic. “Thrilling as this is, I still don’t know about our odds!”

“Trust me, I think E and Tavi are helping to lower their ranks quite a bit.” She motioned towards the ponies in question, an insectoid foe being held back by her hooves. “They always were a bit too serious about this sort of thing...”

Octavia was in the same spot as when she began. Her forelegs were a blur, swinging her cello bows fast enough to cause a whistling noise. The changelings had grown smart, making sure to keep out of her range.

This didn’t protect them from the pegasus. Enigma was almost impossible to follow, the only way to track his movement was the path of unconscious bodies left in his wake. He stopped next to Rhino and Vinyl, huffing softly. He glanced at the other stallion, his now-olive eyes barely registering him in the pegasus’s exhaustion. “Need to rest a bit. Too much theta’s bad for me.” He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them back up, his eyes their normal crimson. “This really is too easy, though. What was that foal thinking, trying to take over with subpar soldiers?”

The other stallion Blinks behind another changeling as it tried to jump him. He cracks the chitinous soldier on the back of the head with the kunai before replying. “I guess she thinks quantity over quality.”

Vinyl glanced over at the stage, frowning deeply. “...maybe...”

The whole time, Chrysalis watched the scene unfold in front of her, her expression growing more and more angry with each passing moment. Eventually, she turned to the soldier next to her, growling angrily. “Mimic?” He saluted silently, his eyes on her. “Take them out.”

He smirked, scarlet eyes narrowing as a deep voice rumbles out of his throat. “My pleasure.” He stepped forward, a dark red flame enveloping his body. When it subsided, he looked like a certain white mare.

Vinyl stared at him, jaw agape. “...seriously? That bro’s a bucking poser!” She scowled, striding toward the stage.

The burgundy stallion turned to the taller one, an eyebrow quirked. “Think she’ll win?”

Rhino furrowed his brow, worried. “Officers aren’t promoted for no reason... I have a bad feeling about this.”

At that moment, the same white mare flew right back at them, landing at their hooves. She looked up at the sky with spinning eyes, her leg twitching slightly. “...someone get the license on that carriage...”

Enigma blinked in surprise, staring at the mare in front of him. “...what just happened?”

The green unicorn muttered quickly. “Something bad.” He leans over the DJ. “Vinyl, anything broken?”

She shook her head, rubbing her temple gently. “...not much...” Her lips curled up into a devious grin. “...just your face.” She suddenly flipped her lower body up, wrapping her legs around his neck and slamming him face-first into the ground.

Enigma leaped away in shock. “What the buck?!”

Rhino’s eyes swirl at the unexpected blow as he groaned while trying to stand up. “And here comes the main frustration of fighting changelings, being attacked by ponies that look like allies.”

“That’s just the beginning.” She grinned, a scarlet flame enveloping her form. When the flames vanish, there’s nothing there.

The burgundy stallion tilted his head in confusion. “...where did that thing go?”

“The name is Mimic.” the pegasus turned only to get kicked across the face by a green hoof. “Do kindly remember it. Well, for the short amount of time left of your life.”

Rhino looked on at his doppelganger as Enigma starts getting up. He tilts his head at the clone. “So, want to make me fight myself or a friend?”

“No need.” The clone vanished. He whispered into the unicorn’s ear. “I’ll just attack your teammates. They’ll think you betrayed them and will attack you.”

The original green stallion smirks. “Doubtful.” He quickly cements the false stallion to the ground with a reverse Res and thrusts the kunai point first at him.

“Did you not realize?” He appeared behind Enigma, chuckling darkly. “I can copy your abilities.” His horn lit up, cementing Rhino to the ground before reappearing in front of him and punching him in the jaw.

Rhino’s teeth smashed painfully together as he flew back before disappearing and reappearing in front of the copy to deliver a mirroring punch to its jaw. His words are forced from the previous hit, “Then this is going to be very repetitive until I start getting creative.”

“Or until I change tactics.” The flame enveloped his form once more, but, this time, revealed a butter yellow pegasus.

Despite his mind screaming at him to ignore it, Rhino hesitated.

That hesitation is all the changeling needed. The teal eyes intensified, the pony’s gaze boring into his very soul.

The stallion froze in place, the only sign of him fighting the look was one barely twitching eye.

Another changeling soldier slammed Rhino square in the back, forcing him to the ground. As quick as possible, it spat a glob of green slime on each of his hooves. The green stallion was soon joined by the other three of his group, and they were each secured to the ground like Rhino.

Mimic stood in front of them, in the form of the taller unicorn. He smirked down at them, shaking his head. “You didn’t stand a chance, foals.” His ear twitched, and he behind himself in the sky, eyes narrowing at a gray speck in the sky. “...what is that?”

“Take this!” A pegasus colt slammed a hindhoof into the changeling’s face, stunning him momentarily. When the changeling tried to swipe at him, he just flew out of his reach, sticking his tongue out at him.

As the imposter was distracted, a small purple filly showed up next to Rhino. She smiled softly at him, putting a hoof to her lips.

The stallion’s eyes widened in surprise as he registered the purple shape. He immediately began shaking his head at her and motioning away from the group.

She shook her head, her horn lighting up as she concentrated. She placed it against his jaw, her magic flowing into the wound.

“I hope I’m not late!”

The familiar voice caused Rhino’s head to jerk upwards while his eyes widen even more as he searches for its owner.

A pink filly charged up the road, a determined look on her face. In her mouth was a blue kunai, and her hooves were glowing with light.

Mimic turned, staring at the filly charging him. “...you’re kidding, right?”

“Nope!” The filly leaped over the four ponies stuck to the ground. She brought a hoof down on top of the changeling’s head, slamming his face into the ground. “That’s for impersonating Rhino!”

The clone got up, gritting his teeth angrily. “You’re about to get you dumb flank pummeled, you f-”

“Hey, Buggy!”

Mimic turned to the colt, a hoof raised to strike the impudent pony. “What the hell did you just call me?!”

“You’re right. Maybe I should call you stupid?” He pointed a hoof at the changeling’s back.

Before he could turn around, two hooves went at his face. He reflexively closed his eyes, but that didn’t stop the blow from being dealt. “GAAH!” He swung wildly, flinging the filly off his back. “I’ll have your hide for that!”

“I’d believe that, if you weren’t currently blind.” Pinchy giggled, picking up her blue kunai. “Don’t worry, you won’t have to deal with it much longer.” She pointed it at the changeling, eyes narrowed dangerously. “This is for hurting my friends.”

The cobalt-blue knife flew out of her magical aura, embedding itself in Mimic’s chest. He clawed at it with his hooves, trying to pull it out, but to no avail. He collapsed on the stage floor, unmoving.

Pinchy sighed in relief, hugging her friend happily. “We did it, Rumble! We saved our friends!” She turned, seeing them all still pinned down by the green goo. “...well, almost, at least. C’mon, let’s get that stuff off them!” She tossed him a kunai, which he caught with his mouth. They then rushed over to the ponies, ready to free them.

On the stage, an almost forgotten changeling queen pulled the knife out of Mimic’s form. “...I see. A magnetism spell to make this attract whoever it’s pointed at. Being lighter, it flies right at the target.” She glared at the retreating filly, raising the blade. “What happens if you hold onto it, though?”

Pinchy stopped in her tracks, even though her hooves kept scraping at the ground underneath her. She glanced over her shoulder, eyes wide as she realized what was happening. She turned to the ponies in front of her, smiling softly. “Don’t worry. Everything will be fine!”

With that, she was lifted off the ground.

The four trapped ponies watched in horror as the little filly flew through the air. Octavia turned away, closing her eyes to keep herself from seeing the results.

A loud thud resounded through the square.

Chrysalis smirked, staring at the filly stuck at the tip of her hoof. “There’s my answer.” She held her up to her face. “That was for interfering, you foal.”

Pinchy stayed silent, her legs dangling limply.

The changeling queen turned to the ponies on the ground, sneering. “Now to get rid of these other-” A pink hoof grabbed her horn, jerking her head to the side.

The filly huffed softly, lines of light forming along her body. “...did I say...you could look away?” She grinned, looking over to her friends. “Dinky. Rumble. You know what to do.” The other young ponies nodded, quickly leaping in front of the unicorns, covering their eyes.

Pinchy giggled, her whole body shining now. “Payback’s a-”

FLASH.

Chrysalis collapsed onto the stage floor, a grimace on her face. “...w-what...did that little brat do? W-where did she go?!”

The purple filly in front of Rhino fell to the side, holding her stomach. “...I don’t feel vewy good...”

Rhino’s eyes stayed locked onto the last place he saw the pink filly impaled by the queen. At a glance, one would think he was just as stunned as the changelings were.

The sophisticated mare next to him noticed his comatose state. She frowned. “Rhino? Did you get caught in the flare?”

A low growl answered her as a blood red bleeds through to replace the blue in his mane and tail.

Enigma blinked at this, confused. “...what the hay? Is that even possible?” A tail smacked him in the back, catching his attention.

The mare who owns it gives him an ‘are you serious’ look. “Your eyes change color. Are you sure you want to question this?” He lowered his head in response. “I thought so.” She turned her attention to where Rhino lay.

He growled once more as his horn glowed and he tried to stand against the goo holding him down. The slime holding one of his hooves glows brightly before being ripped apart. A few changelings near him start coming to their senses and notice the captive escaping. Just as his last hoof is freed, two changelings charge the green stallion.

*SNAP*

*SCREECH*

Both insectoid ponies shrieked in pain as their forelegs suddenly snapped at an unnatural angle, causing them to fall as the stallion marched purposefully past them. Most of the horde were still disoriented as he passes through it, but a few of the hardier specimens try to stop him. Crunches and snaps can be heard as the stallion is momentarily lost to sight, until he emerges again just as a final changeling is slammed into the ground with enough force to leave a small crater and a few cracks in its chitin. His eyes had never left the queen’s form on stage. He paused as he reached the stage and stared at her in silence.

She stared back at him, a defiant gleam in her eyes. “What are you gonna do? Kill me? My subjects would starve without me.” She sneered, slowly standing up on wobbly legs. “You don’t have it in you to do that.”

Rhino growled at her before smiling unpleasantly. “I can still hurt you. You deserve no less for what you have done.”

Chrysalis laughed, shaking her head. “Such big words from a little pony!” She sauntered away, stopping in front of an empty glass case. “I have done nothing except find food for my subjects. You and your friends are the ones at fault here.” She pointed at the three ponies still stuck to the ground, frowning as she realized the two young ponies were attempting to free them. With a simple gesture, another few soldiers rushed the group on the ground.

The colt grabbed one of the changelings in his forehooves and swung them at the other two approaching. They collided with a loud crunch, all three of them falling to the ground. He didn’t even bat an eye as he resumed cutting at the goo with his knife.

The queen stood there, mouth agape. “...it seems as though I underestimated that foal.” She lifted the kunai, smirking darkly. “Best to stop him early.”

A black blur shattered the glass case next to her, revealing itself to be Rhino’s black kunai. A number of shards of glass orient themselves to point at the queen as they move between her and the group as the green stallion appears before her. His eyes bored into hers. “Never again. I will not let you take them as you did Pinchy!”

She blinked at his words, surprised. She chortled, leveling her gaze at him as her horn started to glow green. “Is that the filly from before? The one who had the misfortune of dying by her own blade?”

Rhino’s eyes practically blazed with fury as he launched the shards at the queen. “Murderer!”

Chrysalis shot the shards with a beam, disintegrating them. “Not murder. Justice.” She glanced at the form lying next to her. “She killed my Captain. I could not let that slide.”

“The same could be said of me when you killed her!” He started applying force to a concentrated spot on one of the queen’s legs with magic hoping to recreate the effect it had on her soldiers.

She quirked an eyebrow, blasting him away from her. “What did you hope to accomplish?” She smirked, slowly walking around him in a circle. “I’m the queen for a reason, you foal. And then there’s the two weeks I spent here, feeding off that foolish mare’s love for her stallion.” She glanced at the burgundy pegasus, who was watching them in stunned silence. “If only he hadn’t been turned into a mare, I would’ve spent even longer gathering more power.” She stopped behind him, charging up another blast, stronger than the previous ones. “No matter. I’m plenty powerful for my purposes.”

As she unleashes the blast, Rhino Blinks out of the way and appears behind her. He casted a Res circle below her to make her lose her footing even as he picks up a piece of the wooden frame from the smashed case. He slammed the frame into one of her brittle looking wings as he muttered. "Power isn't everything."

The membranous limb bent with the blow, lessening the damage. Even so, Chrysalis leapt away from him, scowling. “You may think power isn’t everything, but you’re wrong.” She flapped her wings - the one that was hit noticeably slower than the other - moving up to the catwalk above the stage, landing between a couple of changelings. “Power allows one to protect the ones they love.” She motioned to the soldiers next to her, smiling down at the green stallion. “Surely you, of all ponies, can understand that.”

Rhino readied his magic even as he looked at her curiously. "What do you mean 'me of all ponies'?"

She leaned over the safety rail. “You’re the one who’s attacking me for avenging my l-” She coughed, covering her mouth. “My second in command. Something in my throat.”

The stallion's ear flicked at her slip as he smiled. "So that's what that one was to you... Pathetic, both of you. Him for being taken down by a group of foals after he had just beaten grown ponies, and you for just watching it happen. Truly, you are pitiable if that is how you treat those you supposedly care about."

Chrysalis walked along the catwalk, her face unreadable. “You don’t know me. You don’t know Mimic.” She stared down at him. “If I had stepped in, he would see that as a sign of me not trusting him. He hates that thought.” She scoffed, turning to look at the red changeling. “I was respecting his wishes. He knows that I understand him that well.”

Rhino goaded her further, trying to get her flustered. “I’m sure he’ll really appreciate that in his grave.”

She grinned down at him. “Who said he’s dead?”

Before Rhino could respond, a burgundy hoof slammed across his face. He went flying into one of the stage walls.

There, standing in front of him, was a perfect copy of Enigma. He glared down at him with olive eyes, frowning deeply. “You dare attack my queen, peasant?”

Rhino forced himself up as he regards his new target. “Yes, and you shall not stop me.”

The false pegasus smirked, eyes narrowed. “We’ll see.” With that, he vanished from sight.

The unicorn, recalling both his fight with Octavia along with Enigma’s earlier fighting, disappears as well and reappears upside down on the bottom of a catwalk.

Mimic appeared underneath him, looking straight up. “What’s the matter, mage? Afraid to fight face-to-face?”

Rhino shouted back. “You’ve got wings, use them! Come and face me yourself!”

For the first time, the changeling hesitated, glancing at his surroundings. He flexed a hindleg for a second and smirked. “You’ll regret those words.” He almost appeared to teleport, suddenly in the air next to Rhino. He kicked him across the face as a nearby wall cracked.

The green stallion flew away and down, but managed to right himself before he crashed so that he skidded along the floor on his hooves. He spit out a small bit of blood before watching the changeling come to a thump back onto the stage. His horn lit up as a giant circle appeared on the floor around him before he simply looked at his opponent and waited.

Mimic stumbled for a moment, eyes wide in surprise. As his hooves scramble for purchase, a thought occurred to him. He flared the borrowed wings and flapped, sending himself sliding backwards. As soon as his hindhooves hit regular ground, he launched off and vanished from sight.

Rhino frowned before flaring his horn again. The circle on the ground pulsed briefly, but remains. The stallion then begins disappearing and reappearing with startling speed at random points within the circle.

“You think that will stop me?” A hoof struck him across the face, another two landing on his back. “I grow weary of your sad tricks, mage.”

Despite the hit, Rhino smiled a bloody smile.. “I just needed you to hold still.” The giant circle instantly disappeared as small green auras appear around the bases of Mimic’s wings and legs before loud splintering sounds rend the air. The changeling screamed and fell off the stallion who approached his writhing form and placed a hoof on his throat. “As far as I’m concerned, you are just as guilty as your queen, and thus, shall pay.” He slowly started applying pressure.

Mimic glanced up at Chrysalis, seeing the pain in her eyes. He smiled cheekily, his vision fading. “...it is an honor...to die for my queen...” He closed his eyes, returning to his normal form as the last ember of life escaped his unmoving form.

The green stallion shows no response to the corpse below him as he turns and looks upward at the queen.

Only to see her mere inches from his face. She grabbed him by the throat and slammed him into the ground, growling angrily. “Bastard! How dare you kill him?!” She squeezed tighter, her body trembling in a mixture of anger and sadness. “I’ll never find another like him! I...” Her voice trailed off, even as she kept the pressure on Rhino’s neck. “...I never got to tell him my feelings...and now I’ll never get the chance...”

The unicorn groaned out as the queen pauses. “You... deserve... to suffer... for taking her...”

Her eyes hardened, glaring down at him. “What, that fucking filly? She made the mistake of getting in the way.” She raised a hoof above his head. “Maybe you’ll get to see her in the afterlife.”

Rhino’s horn glowed suddenly. “You first.” The black blurred form of the kunai from earlier darted in and embedded itself hilt deep in the changeling queen’s eye. She lurched backwards off the stallion as a last breath rattled from her lungs. Her body seemed to freeze for a moment before she collapsed next to the corpse of Mimic, a look of surprise still on her face.

A group of changelings approached, but didn’t attack the stallion. They gingerly, respectfully picked up their queen, taking to the air, careful not to drop her. Another group grabbed the deceased captain, and, when both bodies were secured, they left, heading out over the forest.

There is only silence, the ponies on the ground focused on the stallion.

Then Vinyl decided to break the silence. “Mind helping us out of this, Rhy?”

Broadway Bound ran ahead of the group. “We need to find the rest of the Elements! Where could they be?”

“If I was trying to take down a town’s main defence, I would go to where said defence is.” Cinnamon said as he ran along with the others, a sleeping Gel held on his magic.

“Where is the main defense?” the filly asked, abandoning her legs and flying beside Cinnamon.

“Think about it, who are the strongest ponies in town, that the ug queen would want them take care off?” He asked as he ran around a corner, going towards the outskirts of the town.

Melody kept pace, thinking a bit. “...we’re heading towards the Everfree...” She turned to look at him, confused. “...do you mean that mare who lives in the cottage?”

Cinnamon looked from the corner of his eye at the mare, before looking back ahead. “That’s my sister, and yes. She told me before that she and her friends are the Elements of Harmony, so you can guess why they would want them out of the picture first.”

“Of course!” Twilight exclaimed, picking up her speed slightly.

“We need to hurry! Fluttershy is super sweet and I don’t know how she would react if she was abducted by changelings!”

Cinnamon now had a deep frown as he picked up the pace up. “If one of those bug face even scratch her, Celestia help me, I’m going to make them wish they never hatched!” Tootsie now coming out again when it felt the anger of it master rising.

“I’m sure nothing bad happened to-” She stopped mid-sentence, screeching to a halt and staring at the cottage in front of her. It looked pristine, almost as if nothing had even happened. “I guess I don’t need to continue that sentence, huh?”

“Don’t let your guard down, they may have heard about us and are ready take ambush us inside.” Cinnamon said as he went closer to the cottage, the others following behind.

Surprisingly, nothing happened as they approached, and they arrived at the door without trouble. Curious, Melody pushed on the door, opening it to reveal a number of animals sprucing up the place, two pegasi helping them.

“Shy’! Scoots! You’re ok.” The brown stallion rushed in, careful as to not step on any of the small animals. “I was so worried that you were hurt, did anything happen? Where are the changelings?”

The orange filly beamed brightly at him. “You should have seen it! These changelings came and put us on the couch! They seemed so serious, but then, for some reason, they just left! We’ve been trying to clean up this mess since!”

“Mind if I help? It would be nice to hang with you girls again,” the stallion said with a smile on his face, until he felt something nudging his tail. Looking back he took notice of a small white bunny with a small headset, poking the face of Tootsie. “Angel, could you stop doing that? Tootsie doesn’t like that and may want its dinner soon.”

Angel looked at the stallion with his head tilted, confused. “‘It’? You know is a she right?”

“Shussss.” Cinnamon covered the bunny’s mouth, dread on his face as he looked at the rest of the ponies with a forced smile.

Melody blinked, registering what the bunny had just said. “Did he just say that your tail is a she?” She questioned, pointing at the serpent tail.

“I would also like to know why you have a chimera tail. I mean, if you don’t mind me asking, that is.” Fluttershy asked, hiding behind her mane a bit.

“I’m sorry, ‘Shy, but I’d rather keep some things to myself, and you can’t believe everything you hear right?” He tried to give a small smile to her sister, well, at least until he heard the new voice on the room.

“Yo yo yo, this gizmo work or not blood? Angel, my man, I don’t think this is making the dough. Know what I’m saying dawg?” Came the voice of a girl, with a heavy Manehattan accent. Which belonged to the cobra tail, who now had Angel’s headset. “Yo, what up with ya’ll ponies?”

“Tootsie! You can talk now! That is sooo cool!” Broadway exclaimed as she circled the snake.

“Tootsie, shut up!” Cinnamon leaped at his own tail, in the hopes to take the headset off, away from the serpent. He was only rewarded by a constricted hold from said serpent.

“Oh yeah boy, who’s in charge now sucker?” Tootsie then turned her head to face at the other ponies. “Sup girls, wanted to share a piece of secret with me?”

Melody stared blankly at the snake. “...you sound like my cousin. And what do you mean, ‘a piece of secret’?”

“That’s her way of saying to let secrets out, either ours or yours. And you better let me go, you worm!” He screamed furiously, struggling against the body of the snake.

Tootsie tensed at the statement, then turned around and looked at its owners eyes, daggers on her eyes. “What you call me, blood? Ya know who you messing with? I’ll fry you, you hear me? Fry you!”

Cinnamon just rolled his eyes, not in the least amused or scared at the snakes threat. “Oh like you would even try? You don’t have the guts!” He taunted, trying to make the snake to back down.

Silence remained between the two for a few minutes. That is, until a jet of flames erupted out of the serpents mouth to hit the stallion on the face. Surprising everyone on the room.

“...let’s just pretend that didn’t happen.” The cerulean mare giggled nervously, slowly backing away. She paused, glancing around the room before suddenly realizing something. “...Cinnamon? Where did Gel go?”

Cinnamon shook his head clean of sooth, now watching the whole room in horror. “You gotta be kidding me! How did she recover from the venom that quickly?”

“Weeeell,” came the long reply from a certain cobra tail, which brought the attention of everyone on the room. “I might have injected a softer version of the venom, he he he.”

Everyone just stood silently after hearing that, until the brown unicorn broke it with his shouting. “Why in the name of all of Equestria, would you do that?!”

“I was hoping for her to wake up as we were coming here, I think she would have loved to play with you again dawg, you know what I’m saying?” She gave a kind of quirk brow to the stallion, before going into giggles.

Melody scratched the side of her head, confused. “...is anypony else confused by what she’s saying?”

“...w-well...I am, too...” The canary yellow pegasus hid behind her mane, nervous. “...s-sorry...”

Cinnamon just facehoofed, clearly understanding what the snake meant. “I don’t have the time to deal with this. Broadway, our talk may have to wait, I have a changeling to hunt right now.” He said as he walked off towards the door, Tootsie doing a wave as to saying goodbye.

The ponies watched them leave, the white filly sighing in relief. Fluttershy turned to her, frowning softly. “You know he won’t drop the subject that easily, right?”

“You have no idea!” she chuckled then looked around and sighed. “I need a pet companion too...”

Fluttershy’s eyes lit up, and she picked up the filly eagerly. “Ooh, I have so many animal friends for you to choose from!” Before anything else could be said, she flew out the door, taking Broadway with her.

“Yeah! Let’s go!”

Off to the side, the earth pony stared out a window, watching Cinnamon leave. “...I wonder how he’s planning on finding a changeling in town...” She turned back towards the room, blinking in surprise at the empty room. “...oh. I should probably head home, then.”

Later, the group of four that had beaten the changelings walked solemnly down the street, the younger ponies having left to check up on their families. Vinyl glanced over her shoulder at the green stallion.

He didn't look at her, but instead appeared to look through her at nothing as they walk. His mane and tail stripe were still red.

The disk jockey turned to Octavia, concerned. “...think we should say something?”

The gray mare shook her head, frowning softly. “...it’s best to let him be until he’s ready to talk...”

Vinyl sighed, pushing open the door to her house. “I guess you’ve got a p-” She stopped mid-sentence, staring into her house.

Her best friend did the same, but she actually had the presence of mind to say something. “Well that’s interesting.”

Rhino came out of his trance. "Is it more changelings?" He asked, paranoid.

Vinyl snapped out of her trance, scoffing softly. “Doubtful. Changelings can’t enter this house without someone letting them in.”

Enigma chuckled, gently pushing the mares into the house. “You should probably see for yourself, Rhino.”

He grunted as he followed the group into the abode.

“You’re back!”

A pink filly hopped towards them, stopping in front of the green stallion. She smiled up at him. “Why did you dye your hair, Rhino? I liked it better before!”

The stallion stared with his mouth slightly open. He looked over to the window and ensured the captured changeling was still there. Seeing it was, he rustled the filly's mane with a stunned look. "Pinchy...but..."

She giggled, leaning into the hoof on her head. “You said not to leave the house, so I didn’t!” She turned to the squirrel on the coffee table, tilting her head. “Right, Specter?”

Specter munched on a peanut as he answered. "I can safely say she has been here the whole time. Why? Did something happen?"

Rhino continued looking stunned. "But..."

Pinchy looked up at him, momentarily confused. Suddenly, realization hit her. “Oh! Was this about my light clone?”

His hoof dropped as he sat down suddenly. "A clone... It was only a clone..." He muttered as his normal color returned to his stripes.

The filly gently placed a hoof on his cheek, smiling softly at him. “I did tell you that everything would be okay, right?” She glanced out the still-open door, concern slowly spreading over her features. “...I hope he’s okay, though.”

Rhino's face morphed into one of relief as he pulled the filly into a quick embrace. "I'm just glad you're okay..." He pulled away quickly as he coughed a small bit of blood into a hoof.

Pinchy’s eyes widened in shock. “I wish I could say the same for you!” She concentrated, a soft white glow forming on her forehooves. She placed them on his body, frowning softly. “...I wish I studied more medical magic...” She closed her eyes, letting the magic gently go into her idol.

He hummed as it washed over him. “You don’t have to do that, I’ll just sleep it off. The others could probably use it more.”

“Not really.” Vinyl flexed a foreleg, grinning at him. “Dinky healed us up while you were up on the stage.”

Rhino peered at the DJ. “I miss anything else?”

“Other than Rumble protecting Dinky while she worked, not much.” The white mare put a hoof to her chin, thinking a bit. “...he did seem rather angry with his attacks, though.”

The stallion nodded as he looked around. He pointed to a space next to the couch. “Mind if I collapse on your floor over there? I’m a bit worn out.”

Vinyl nodded, giggling softly. “Go right ahead, dude.”

He nodded and walked over to the spot. As soon as he reached it, his knees buckled and he fell onto his side as he breathes a sigh of relief. After a moment, he addressed the other without moving anything other than his eye to look at them. “So, what happens now?”

Octavia stepped forward, motioning to the window. “We rebuild. We have no idea how long it’ll take, but it’s the best course of action at this moment...” Her voice trailed off, staring at the filly as she approached Rhino. She frowned softly, but didn’t say anything.

Pinchy stopped in front of him, tilting her head to one side. “Can I join you?”

He smiled and chuckled at her. “Of course, it’s been an eventful day, it’s good to sit down and absorb it all.” She settled down next to him, gently nuzzling his neck before she laid her head on her forehooves, falling asleep quickly. He simply looked down at her and smiled. “You know, I could get used to that.”

Author's Note

Special thanks to RLYoshi, Rhino runforever101 and raybony for doing this chapter with me!

I know it took a while to come out with this chapter, and I apologize. I'll do my best to get back to your regularly scheduled rap battles as soon as possible! (Sadly, college work comes first. I need to pass a class to keep my scholarship. :ajsleepy:)

"If there are any errors in this chapter, please let us know! It was a really long chapter to pre-read for!"

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Slice of Life Arc, Pt. 1

Outside of Ponyville, in an apparently empty field, all was quiet. However, without warning, a muffled buzzing penetrated the silent air, slowly increasing in volume. As it did, a light began to appear out of nowhere, slowly opening to reveal a hole in the middle of the air. The buzzing turned to an unearthly and loud roar, which was abruptly silenced as the hole swiftly shut. In its place were two ponies.

One of them, a dark red pegasus with a brown mane and tail, was stretching his body as though he had just woken up. The other, a light blue unicorn with a green mane and tail, was more focused on looking around at where they had appeared. He sighed.

“Could you have made that thing any louder?” he sarcastically asked the other stallion.

“Hey, it sounds cool!” the pegasus responded defensively.

“We’re supposed to be keeping a low profile, Arrell. I tell you this every time we go somewhere new, but you always end up screwing it up.” The unicorn sighed again. “Where are we?”

Arrell, as the pegasus was evidently called, looked around. “Think we’re near Ponyville. Convenient!” He started walking. “Come on, Yah! There’s fighters to find!”

Stopping briefly to facehoof, Yah-Shee began following his partner towards the nearby town.

In front of them, a small pink unicorn emerged from the forest to their left. She squinted, her eyes adjusting to the sudden increase in light, turning towards the stallions. She blinked, staring blankly at them for a few moments. “...are you two new here? Because I’ve never seen you before...”

The two looked down at the filly, confused. “Uh...new, yeah, we’ll go with that,” Arrell replied hastily.

“Yay! New friends!” She giggled, skipping up to them and holding out a hoof. “I’m Berry Pinch! What are your names?”

Yah extended his hoof to meet hers. “I’m Yah-Shee and he’s Arrell.” He motioned to the pegasus. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too!” She tilted her head to the side, looking at them for a moment. “...why are you out here near the Everfree?”

“Just...sightseeing,” the blue stallion answered nervously, shrugging.

Pinchy laughed, shaking her head. “There’s less dangerous places to sightsee at, you two!”

“Well...why are you out here?” Arrell interjected.

“Oh, I just returned from a sparring match with a friend.” She shrugged a bit. “No big deal, really.”

Yah blinked. “A...sparring match? What kind?”

“The kind where you wear harnesses to keep from harming the other too much.” She looked at them, curious. “Why do you ask? Did you wanna try it out?”

Yah and Arrell looked at each other. They hadn’t heard of this type of sparring before, but they had other matters to attend to. “Maybe later,” the unicorn replied.

“Right now, we need to get to Ponyville.” Arrell gestured to the town a short distance away.

The filly grinned, bouncing in place in excitement. “Can I come with you? I’m heading the same way, after all!”

Yah couldn’t help but smile. “Sure.” He began walking again, but at a slower pace so as to make sure the filly could keep up. Arrell began walking as well.

Pinchy squealed in happiness and hurried over to them, walking into town with her two new friends. Yah found himself chuckling at her adorableness, even as Arrell rolled his eyes.

A familiar gray mare sat outside the cafe, waiting for somepony. She turned her gaze to the streets, keeping an eye out for him.

Her quarry appeared down the street, a thoughtful look on his green-furred face. The stallion spotted her and raised a hoof in greeting as he headed toward her.

She nodded in reply, smiling genially. “Good afternoon, Rhino. How has your fifth day here been?” The sophisticated pony waved down a waiter for them.

He smiled and took a seat. "Thankfully quiet. Pinchy hung around a bit this morning, but she's off with her friends now. I'm glad every pony seems to be doing fine after the incident." He frowned momentarily before putting back on a smile.

“Agreed.” She looked at the white mare that approached, surprised. “Hello, there. Did you start working here today?”

The mare blinked, nodding slowly. “I did. How did you know?”

“I come here almost every day. I know the names of all the waiters and waitresses by heart.” Octavia chuckled, shaking her head and turning back to her menu. “I’ll have the ratatouille and a nice Earl Grey.”

The unicorn took this down on a small pad and turned to the stallion, smiling nervously. “And for you, sir?”

He perused the menu before looking back at her. "The garlic alfredo sauce over pasta with milk as a drink, please." The green pony levitated the menu over to her as he continued. "And relax, you're doing great."

She sheepishly nodded, taking their menus and heading into the kitchen.

The sophisticated mare leaned forward, smirking slightly. “Surely the ‘incident’ isn’t what’s bothering you right now. I can see something else is bothering you, Rhino.”

He sighed. "I'm not sure I know specifically what it is... The invasion itself is more like one big nightmare that I'm sure I'll have comfortably suppressed in a day or two, but..." He massaged the bridge of his nose with a hoof. "I'm sure I'll get over it eventually. I'd rather it not ruin my time with friends."

“If you say so.” The unicorn returned with their drinks, putting them on the table and quickly leaving. The sophisticated mare picked up her teacup, sipping it slowly. “To be honest, I almost assumed that Chrysalis’s words got to you.”

Rhino crossed his forelegs as he closed his eyes in thought. His drink floated up and he took a drink before setting it back down, but not letting it go with his magic. "Perhaps it was that, a comment from the first lives I've ever taken telling me I am just like them... I admit while I usually try to see both sides, this one eludes me. I believe I fear that if I understand them, then I will lose the lack of feeling I have for their deaths..."

“That may be true, but understanding your foe is another way to predict what they will do.” She shrugged, sipping at her tea once more. “Surely figuring out whether a pony’s reasons are just won’t make it harder to fight them, right?”

The unicorn stallions scoffed. “Octavia, you fought me yourself. Even up until the very end, I never went as far as I did with the changelings, because I knew through it all, you were my friend. I didn’t want to hurt you. My empathy is not easy to turn off.”

“But they aren’t your friends. Even if you understood their reasons for fighting, you wouldn’t personally know them.” She chuckled, watching as the waitress came with their orders. “Thank you, Miss...?”

“Angelic Grace, but please, call me Angel.” She bowed, carefully pulling her blonde mane out of her face. “Enjoy your meal.”

Rhino breathed in the smell of his food with a smile. “Wonderful. To your statement though... I suppose you’re right, even if it is not so simple for me in practice. What would you suggest?” He sampled the pasta before adding pepper to the whole thing.

“Well, first, I have to know - what did Chrysalis say that made you so conflicted?” She leaned forward, tenting her hooves together.

He took another bite before leaning back as he looks skyward. “Her comment on how we are the same because she too uses her power to protect those she cares about. It’s simply hits so close to home that I essentially have myself mentally blocked from making connections from that statement for fear of her being right.”

“If she truly cared about them, she wouldn’t try taking over a populated area.”

Octavia blinked in confusion, turning towards their waitress. “...I’m sorry?”

Angel froze, blushing brightly. “...um...I mean...” She quickly resumed picking up dirty dishes, trying to pretend she didn’t say anything.

Rhino looked at the waitress as well and motioned for her to continue. “No please, go on, it’s nice to hear another’s opinion.”

The mare gulped, looking at the two of them. With a sigh, she nodded. “...surely there were better ways for them to get a place to live, right? They didn’t have to invade another’s home...”

The stallion nodded. “A very good point, but why would she consider this plan then? It doesn’t make sense.”

Angel bit her lip, thinking about it. “...maybe one of her council - or whatever equivalent she had - influenced her decision. That would be why she thought her cause was just, right?”

“Surely she’d know better than to listen to just one other, right?” Octavia quirked an eyebrow, unconvinced.

“She probably would.” The blonde unicorn sighed, continuing to pick up the dishes. “Unless they were also her lover, or something. Love makes ponies do crazy things.”

Rhino nodded again as he took another bite. “All too true, and possibly more so for a species that lives off it. Perhaps I worried too much about the similarities between us. She chose an aggressive approach that had already failed once before, she failed to learn from her mistakes. Mayhap you are right Octavia, instead of comparing us, I can simply think of her motivations as information. Nice, neutral, non-self-torturing information.”

The sophisticated mare giggled, nodding slightly. “That’s the spirit.” She turned to the road and saw a pink filly, with two stallions behind her. “...who are those ponies with Pinchy?”

The unicorn’s head whipped around at her question. His eyebrow quirked at the new ponies. “I would like to know that as well...”

The filly saw them and smiled, rushing over. “Sensei! Rhino!” She turned and motioned to the two new stallions, smiling brightly. “Meet Yah-Shee and Arrell! They’re here to sightsee!”

Yah and Arrell waved as they approached. “Hello there,” the unicorn greeted.

Octavia chuckled, shaking her head. “You picked some time to come here. We just got through dealing with a changeling invasion.” She sipped her tea, glancing over at the filly. “Pinchy, what did I tell you about staring?”

The filly snapped to attention, tearing her gaze away from the waitress. “Sorry, sensei. Anyways, I found these two while returning from my session with Vinyl!”

The gray mare nodded, sipping her tea as she looked at the stallions. “Certainly new ponies.” She glanced momentarily at their flanks. “...pardon me if I’m being rude, but what do your cutie marks mean?”

“Uh...bit of a long story,” Yah answered nervously. He didn’t want to get into their jobs; it would just lead to more questioning.

Rhino enjoyed his pasta as he looked at the newcomers. He stopped eating for a moment to say something. “You don’t have to say if you don’t want to.”

Octavia, realizing she’d forgotten about her food, started to eat. She made sure she could still hear what was being said, though.

The white unicorn stepped up to the stallions, smiling kindly. “Hello, gentlecolts. May I help you with anything?”

“We’re fine, thank you,” Yah responded.

“As you wish. If you do need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.” She gave a small wink before returning to her duties.

Arrell smirked at Yah and made a quiet tiger-growling noise. He received a deadpanned glare in response.

Pinchy frowned at the blonde mare, eyes narrowed a bit. She blinked, quickly turning away as she remembered her teacher’s words. “So, Yah-Shee, Arrell, would you like to meet some of my other friends?” She smiled brightly, trying to forget about the waitress.

“Sure,” the blue stallion said with a nod. “And you can just call me Yah.”

“Great!” She turned to Octavia, bowing slightly. “See you later, sensei! I’ve got to take these two to Vinyl and Enigma!” She rushed off, smiling brightly at them as they followed her.

The sophisticated mare stared after them in silence. “...I guess they’re harmless enough.”

The green stallion finished his meal. “So it seems, still, I find it odd how quickly she makes friends with random adults she met in the middle of nowhere.”

“I have to agree.” She paused, looking as if she was about to say something before shaking her head. “I sometimes worry about her, but she can handle herself.” She stood up, putting a few bits on the table. “While this has been fun, I don’t know whether or not I can add onto what Miss Angel said.” She glanced around, confused. “...where did she go, anyways?”

He looked around as well. “To get the check maybe?”

“Maybe.” Octavia shrugged, turning to leave. “If there’s anything else you feel like saying, or you just want to chat some more, you know where to find me.”

“Will do!” He waved to her as he slowly finished his drink before saying out loud, “Well... now what?” The sound of flapping wings behind him answered the question.

A gray mare skidded to a stop in front of him. She beamed looking around happily. “I didn’t crash this time! I’m getting better!”

Rhino chuckles as the pegasus celebrates. “Were you aiming for anything?”

“Yep!” She reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a muffin. “This is for you!” She blinked, thinking a bit. “...wait, was it the muffin, or a package?”

He shrugged while smiling teasingly. “It could be both, or it could be neither. Maybe you just wanted to visit a friend.”

She blushed softly, rubbing the back of her neck. “You got me!” She giggled, walking up next to him. “I wanted to thank you. Dinky’s so happy now that she can do magic!”

The stallion waved off the praise. “I only taught her the one spell and gave a little general advice, I’m sure she already knew a bit before I came along. No need to thank me, it was my pleasure... Plus those muffins of yours that I was allowed to eat were ample compensation.”

“I’m glad you liked my muffin!” Some stallions that are passing by laughed at this, causing Ditzy to become confused. “I don’t know why ponies laugh when I say that...”

He shrugged. “I can’t imagine why. They’re delicious and you’re nice, there’s no reason not to try them. They’re probably just being silly.”

The gray pegasus giggled, shrugging a bit. “You’re right. Besides, I don’t normally listen to what other ponies have to say due to...well, you know.” She smiled softly, motioning towards her chest.

He tilted his head. “I... don’t think I know what you mean. I can understand not listening to mean ponies, but I don’t see what they would criticize.”

She shook her head, nudging a necklace out of her fur. “I mean my husband.” She pops open the locket, gazing fondly at the picture inside. “The Doctor - I mean, Time Turner, has always been a little out there. Ponies tend to joke about that, but I’ve long forgotten what they said.” She blinked, looking at the picture, then up at the stallion. “...but, like I said, it doesn’t matter.” She quickly tucked the heart-shaped locket back into her fur.

“Alright then, glad you don’t let it get to you.” He put a small pile of bits on the table and stood up, stretching. “Well, do you want to do something? Or just walk and talk?”

“Actually, I came here to invite you to my little muffin’s birthday party!” She reached back into one of her saddlebags, pulling out a manila-colored envelope. “She turns nine, today!”

He took the envelope, slit it open, and read the card quickly. He chuckled at the design. “Cute. Hmm... I’ll definitely have to get a nice gift for her...”

“Great!” Ditzy giggled, pointing forward. “It’s going to be at Sugarcube Corner, and all her little friends are going to be there!” She blinked, squinting slightly before turning around and pointing once more. “Sorry, wrong direction. Sometimes it’s hard to remember the layout with all the travelling I do.”

“Heh, I’ll be there.”

“Perfect!” She rushed off, calling over her shoulder. “I’ll let Pinkie know to set up for one more!” She crashed headlong into a lamppost but quickly got up, shaking it off as if nothing had happened. “Oops! My bad!” She resumed running, leaving the stallion standing there with the waitress, who had returned to pick up the bill.

The white mare smiled at him, taking the bits graciously. “Thank you for eating at-” She stopped mid-sentence, looking down at the money. “...sir? Y-you kind of...overpaid...t-this is too much, even for a tip...”

Rhino turned around and smiled at her. "No such thing as too big for a tip. It was excellent service and your contribution to the conversation was very enlightening. It's all well deserved."

She looked up at him, then back to the bits, squirming a bit. “...i-if you say so, sir...” She turned and headed over to the kitchen, muttering softly to herself.

He watched as she walked off, muttering once she was out of range. "She was nice, something was off though... I'm sure it was nothing." He turned and walked off to get his gift for the party.

Author's Note

These chapters are going to be done until we can actually complete one (or two) rap battles. Also being done because of the Calculus II class (and a collab story) that will take up most of my free time. Thanks to Rhino and RLYoshi for doing this chapter with me!

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Slice of Life Arc, Pt. 2 & Rap Battle #29

Enigma stood in the basement, frowning slightly. "...Vi, are you sure this will work?"

The mare in question nodded, smiling at him from behind her sheet of safety glass. "Of course it will!" She motioned to the harness on his back. "The power gem responds to the mental commands of the user. It shouldn't be difficult to switch your mindset from 'whip' to 'sword', or even 'club'. Just give it a try!"

The burgundy pegasus sighed, turning to look at the wood-and-stone practice dummy. "If you say so..." He closed his eyes and concentrated, a small scowl on his face. Slowly, the familiar red light of the Bass Drops started to extend, forming a couple of two-foot blades. He looked at them and grinned, only for them to flop down less than a second later. He sighed, shaking his head. "Great job, Vi. Two floppy swords. They're barely even a tenth of the length of my whips..."

Vinyl lifted up her shades, frowning deeply. "...that shouldn't have happened. Maybe if you tried swinging them a bit?"

He rolled his eyes but did as he was told, swinging one of them at the stone middle of the dummy's torso.

They stood there and watched for a while, but nothing happened. Enigma sighed and lowered himself back down onto all fours, turning to look at the unicorn. "It seems as if this is a dud."

She groaned, coming out from behind the barricade. "I thought for sure that would work!"

He raised an eyebrow at this. "Then why hide behind the glass?" A bell rings, causing him to jump in surprise and glance around in confusion.

She waved a hoof dismissively as she ascended the stairs. "Better to be safe than sorry, you know? Now come on, we need to answer the door."

He sighed but followed, slamming the basement door closed behind him.

The force vibrated through the room, and the dummy shook slightly. It stopped soon enough, standing still for a moment. Then the top half fell off, landing on the floor with a full thud.

The couple quickly arrived at the door, opening it to see three ponies standing there. Vinyl nodded at the smallest, smiling brightly. "Hey, Pinchy. Who're your friends?"

"This is Arrell and Yah-Shee!" The filly gestured at each stallion as she introduced them. "They're here on vacation!"

"...wait...Arrell? Yah-Shee?" The mare stared at them, eyes wide in shock. "I know you! You do that...that Death Battle thingy!"

“Yeah, we...do?” Yah raised an eyebrow. “...how do you know about it?”

Vinyl held up her phone, smirking playfully. “Crossing dimensions does wonders for your wi-fi.” She turned it towards her, pressing a few buttons. “I can access a huge number of shows that I couldn’t before.” She shuddered before putting it away. “Some I wish I hadn’t…”

Arrell tilted his head. “Huh...now that I think about it, didn’t you lose one of the battles?”

The white mare narrowed her eyes at him before putting on a small smile. “Yes, I did. I’m not angry, though - you explained it well enough.” She gestured to herself. “You know who I am, and this,” she motioned to the burgundy pegasus next to her, “is Enigma.”

He smiled at the other stallions, holding a metal-clad hoof out to them. “How do you do?”

Yah took the hoof and shook it before Arrell did the same. As he did, the unicorn responded. “We’re both doing rather well, given the circumstances.”

“Oh?” Vinyl tilted her head to one side, curious. “And what circumstances would that be?”

“Well, being in a whole new dimension that we’ve never been in, for one thing,” Arrell replied snarkily.

Enigma quirked an eyebrow at this. “Surely your dimension isn’t that different?”

“Our home dimension isn’t really a...dimension,” Yah tried to explain. “It’s more like a spot where all sorts of dimensions merge. So yeah, it is kind of different.”

The couple stared blankly at him, the gears visibly turning in their heads.

While this happened, the pink filly, who had been quietly watching, beamed and spun to look at the visitors. “Really? You live in a dimensional hub? That’s so cool!”

Yah smiled. “It’s pretty interesting, to say the least. Though it didn’t start out like one...” He rubbed his temple, as if trying to suppress a headache. “Long story.”

“I’d love to hear it!” She glanced at the clock on the wall, eyes widening slightly. “Oh no! I’m going to be late!” She rushed off, waving to the group. “See you later!”

The two hosts waved goodbye to her before turning back to Vinyl and Enigma. “Cute little filly, ain’t she?” Arrell remarked.

They nodded, the mare speaking up. “That she is. Helped us fend off an invasion a while back, too, believe it or not.”

The pegasus blinked. “...what.”

The feminine stallion chuckled, shaking his head. “Yeah. We got pinned down by this one changeling drone - Mimic, I think he was called - and she and her friends swooped in, knocking him down in less than two minutes.” He tapped his chin, thinking a bit. “Of course, the Queen used Berry’s weapon against her, and…” He waved a hoof, smiling nervously. “...it’s a long story.”

“Huh...definitely gonna have to tell us that later,” Yah said with a thoughtful nod.

The white mare pats his back, laughing heartily. “Will do, dude.”

“Rhino, you made it!”

The gray pegasus happily hugged him, grinning brightly.

The green stallion smiled, hugging her back. “Hey, I told you I’d show up didn’t I? I even found a present!” He levitated a box-shaped gift with blue and green wrapping paper.

“That’s great! Would you be alright with putting on the gift table with the others?” She pointed to a small table on the far side of the room, the top covered with wrapped boxes. There’s also a spherical gift precariously balanced on the very top. “I have to go check on Pinkie’s cupcakes. If we don’t keep an eye on them, Rumble eats them.”

Rhino chuckled. “I’ll be fine, you go do what you need to do.”

She nodded and left, heading into the Cake’s kitchen.

As he approached the table, a couple of unicorn fillies ran up, both of them beaming. The pink one leaped onto his back, tapping his cheek. “Hey, Rhino! Did you see that new mare in town?”

As soon as those words were said, a hot-pink-and-green blur rushed out the kitchen and out the open door, almost bowling over a sea green pegasus that was entering at the same time.

The filly in front of the stallion giggled, shaking her head. “Bewwy, you know she’s going to be scawed now, wight?”

Rhino turned his head around and raised an eyebrow at the filly on his back. “Did I miss something?”

Pinchy shrugged, smiling brightly. “Pinkie’s going to welcome that new mare...and then throw a huge party for them, I think.” She taps her chin with a hoof, a thoughtful look on her face. “I haven’t seen her, myself, but I hear she’s a white unicorn.”

The filly glanced over to one side, seeing a pair of pegasi in what appears to be a heated argument. “...hey, Dinky, do you know who that is?”

The gray unicorn looked at the green mare, tilting her head slightly. “...mom mentioned hew once...Lightning Dust, I think?” She jumped when the mare in question stomps a hoof on the floor. “...I-I’ll just be hiding by the punch bowl...” She rushed off, clearly scared.

The stallion frowned as he looks at the mares. “It’s definitely rude for grown ponies to have an argument at a foal’s birthday party...” He set his decent sized gift on a spot it would fit on the table. He turned back to Pinchy. “I think I did see the mare you’re talking about though, if she’s who I think she is, she was my waitress at the cafe earlier.”

“...a waitress?” She tilts her head, curious. “...that’s interesting...” She shrugged, looking back at the mares. “...is that Rainbow she’s arguing with?”

The mare with the signature chromatic mane gestures to the door, a frown on her face. The one opposite her growls angrily, despite the pink tint to her cheeks. She pokes the weather pony’s chest, obviously not going to do what Dash said.

“...and, of course, Scootaloo is going to try and back up her idol.” She stands on her hindlegs, her forehooves on his head as she attempts to get a better view. “...what are they even fighting about?”

“Well, I guess we can find out, but we’re being subtle about it.” He meandered his way through the ponies of the party until he got close to the mares, but then he walked right past them. He stopped a short distance away, positioned as if he was looking out the window. He spoke to the filly on his back without turning to her. “Just pretend like you’re doing something else, and keep your ears pointed at them.”

She nods, looking out the window as they listen in on the debate. Light writing appears outside the window, out of view of the ponies they’re listening to. I think we missed something. Scootaloo didn’t look this upset when she was approaching them.

The orange filly scowled, wings flared in anger. “You’re just a bully! And your breath smells really bad!” She pinched her nose, her eyes starting to water from the stench.

“Shut up, you hen. I’m talking to Dasher.” Lightning turns back to Rainbow, hiccuping slightly. “You ruined my dreams. My dad said I had to try my hardest, never give up. I promised him I wouldn’t. You made me break that promise!”

Pinchy tensed at the word ‘dad’. ...that’s upsetting...

The chromatic pegasus rolled her eyes, turning to leave. “Dust, go home. You’re drunk.”

Rhino’s fur bristled at the word ‘drunk’.

“One glass of cider! Non-alcoholic, even!” She turned to the side, huffing. “Not my fault cider gives me the hiccups...and if you tell anypony that, I’ll reveal your secret!”

The pink filly blinked, trying her hardest not to stare from that comment. ...is she using blackmail for something that silly? Really?

The stallion mutters his response. “Silly or not, I worry what this might escalate to if something doesn’t distract them.”

“In fact, you and your admirer can go-”

“Hey!”

They all turned to the brown filly, surprised by her outburst.

She stepped forward, blowing a lock of her pink mane out of her face. She glared at Lightning, pointing a hoof accusingly. “If ya got a problem with Scoots, ya got a problem with me. So leave her alone!”

The green pony scoffed, waving a hoof at the filly. “This doesn’t concern you. Any of you.” She turns to the duo by the window, scowling. “That includes you two eavesdroppers. This is between Dash and I. She ruined my life!”

“Don’t care ‘bout yer pity story. ‘Sides, everypony’s got a different point a’ view.” The newcomer strode forward, stopping right in front of the pony. “Still, I don’ like yer attitude, and ya definitely scared Dinky, so do us all a favor and leave!”

Dust growled, narrowing her eyes. “Not until Dash pays.”

A hoof lifted off Rhino’s head. “If I may make a suggestion?” The pink filly’s horn lit up, a moving light line drawing appearing in the air above her. The picture showed a familiar DJ, bobbing her head to an unheard song. “Miss Scratch might be able to help you! Right, Rhino?” She looked down at him, smiling brightly.

He nodded. “She is quite good at this from what I hear. I was actually hoping I’d see what she’s probably going to do to help you girls.”

Rainbow slowly began to grin, looking up at the filly on his head. “Rap battle?”

Pinchy nodded, giggling. “Rap battle!”

Lightning stared at them quietly, confused. “...what are you two talking about?” When they opt to leave to check on Dinky instead, she turned to Rhino, hoping he would explain.

He shrugged. “Don’t look at me for an explanation, I’ve only heard about these. They are renowned for getting things settled though.”

She shook her head, sighing quietly. “...whatever. I’m going to get my revenge, though.”

“Not if I have any say in it.” The brown filly turned to leave, smirking darkly over her shoulder. “You’re about to get your flank served, Dust.” She trotted off, leaving behind a shaken green pegasus.

Rhino watched as the filly left. “Wow, she’s got some spunk.” He patted Lightning Dust on the back. “Good luck to you though.”

She looked at him, unsure. “...thanks?”

Vinyl soon found herself onstage in town square once more, actually a little confused by today's matchup. She glanced at the stallion next to her, an eyebrow quirked. "You have any idea what's going on here?"

He shrugged helplessly. "Not a clue." He turned his attention back to the green pegasus onstage, who was wearing a headset and glaring daggers at the filly across from her. Oddly enough, said filly kept an even stare at the mare.

The white mare sighed, making a few last-minute adjustments as she muttered under her breath. "Well, at least it'll be interesting...and it's been too long for the readers..." She cleared her throat and shouted out over the crowd, pointedly ignoring the stare the feminine stallion gave her.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

You really want a challenge? Don't test me, Seed.
You're just a flabby little filly who can't match my speed.
Look at me! I'm an up-and-coming Wonderbolt!
I'll crush you; plant this Seed ten feet under, dolt!
You’re playing Hardball with the Icemare -
I do those wild stunts that’ll make you scared.
Turn ‘round and bow out ‘fore you take my clout
Or else I’ll be forced to swiftly knock you out!

You think you're so tough just 'cause you're "fast as lightning"?
But when it comes to brainpower, I'm clearly the fastest, Lightning!
Look at me! I can terrify a full-grown pony,
And look at me; I’m not even full grown, pony!
You’re bucking insane, just like your wolfkin.
I’ll tear you apart, just like a wolf can!
If it's ashes to ashes and dust to dust,
Then that's what I'll be beatin' you into, Dust!

What, you think you're some lyrical brain?
You can't just make every line the same!
I have wolfkin, yes, but, like me, he’s fearless.
That's more than you can say for yourself - you hear this?
I'm blasting my rhymes at a Lightning-fast pace
To teach this blank flank filly to stay out of my face!
Just give all your stupid whining a rest.
I’ll win! After all, I’m the best of the best!

What’s the matter? Was that too smart for a clown?
Here, let me take the time, for you, to dumb it down.
Just stop for a moment -yeah, sit right there
And listen to the filly who's the envy of a mare.
That's right, I've friends, I'm content - what you got?
No one 'cause you shunned 'em on your way to the "top".
You can keep flinging insults like a cad at me
Doesn't change the chance you blew at the Academy!

WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Author's Note

Big thanks for Rhino and RLYoshi for the use of their OCs, and for being a big help with the rap battle! :twilightsmile: Not sure if this will be a continuous thing. There's still the other story Vi's working on with our friend, Rhino.

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Slice of Life Arc, Pt. 3 & Rap Battle #29: Results and Aftermath

The next day found a certain cellist sitting in front of a cafe, leisurely drinking a cup of tea. Across the table from her, a filly and a mare sat, the latter glaring a bit at the former but the former simply poking at a fork with her hoof.

She put the cup down, finally looking at the other two. “Before I start counting the votes, I am required to ask - did you two decide on what you’re wagering?”

There’s an uncomfortably long pause before the smallest of them speaks up. “If I win… she’s to give up her poisonous habit.” She points at the pegasus, growling. “She has to stop drinking!”

The sea-green mare scoffs, sipping from her skein. “Fat chance.” She turns to Octavia, pointing her free hoof at her. “I win, she never talks to me again. Ever.”

The filly leaps to her hooves as she prepares to retort, but the cellist covers her mouth with a hoof. “And here I hoped the competition yesterday got rid of all this anger.” She tapped on the phone in front of her, scrolling down the page and counting the votes as the other two watched with mild trepidation.

Finally, she looked back up at them, nodding briefly. “Babs Seed won. About twenty-seven to twelve.”

“Yes!” With that, the brown filly turned and swiped the half-full skein from the mare next to her. “A deal’s a deal.”

“What?!” Lightning Dust growled, pointing at the younger pony. “How’s that possible? I had more skill than you!”

Babs looked up at her, smirking cockily. “Your caprician countenance suggests a heritage unusually rich in species diversity.”

The pegasus paused, her brow furrowing as she tried to figure out what was said. Finally, after about six seconds, she scratched the side of her head in confusion. “What?”

“The reason you don’t understand that is the answer to why you lost.” The filly laughs, waving a hoof dismissively. “Seriously, though, you’re not going to have this anymore.” She promptly flips the mug over, dumping its contents into a nearby rosebush.

“I’m glad to see you two are getting along.” Octavia glanced up, blinking in surprise at an approaching rain cloud. “Strange... I could’ve sworn it was supposed to be partially cloudy, today...”

Vinyl sitting down in Sugarcube Corner, a glass of lemonade in her magic. She smirked at the two stallions sitting across from her, lowering her shades to look at them. “So, how’d you enjoy the show, boys?”

The two looked at each other, then back at Vinyl, shrugging a bit. “Definitely one way to do a battle,” Yah-Shee admitted. “Not necessarily our way, but definitely effective.”

“Heh.” She shook her head, resting it on a hoof. “I bet you two prefer to play with swords, or something.”

“Us? No, personally, we prefer not to get into fights at all.” The blue unicorn chuckled. “We just like talking about them.”

“Well, then,” the mare quirked an eyebrow, gesturing between them, “please, share one with me. I like a good tale.”

Arrell chuckled. “I don’t mind a little ‘tail’ mysel-” He cut himself off as Yah smacked him. “Hey!”

“Enough of that.” The unicorn turned back to Vinyl. “And I don’t mean talking about fights that have already happened. More like commentating. It’s...hard to explain.”

“Try me.” She turned to the pegasus, wagging a hoof at him teasingly. “And shame on you, Arry. What would that mare from yesterday think?”

While the red pegasus grumbled to himself, Yah decided to try explaining. “Well, first we figure out a fight that ponies seem interested in seeing. Then, we research them, create a battle simulation between them, and then talk about the battle before and after it happens. That’s the simplest way to put it without getting into technical details.”

Vinyl blinked, tilting her head to one side. “...is that anything like that Screw Attack show? Death something?”

“...you could say there are similarities.”

“Gotcha.” She nodded, turning to the counter as hoofsteps reach her ears. “That should be Pinkie, and about time, too.” She rolled her eyes, waving a hoof dismissively. “I swear, Daisy arrived ten minutes ago, and-”

She cut herself off, her shades falling to the table to reveal pupils the size of pinpricks. “...what the…”

Standing in the middle of the bakery, wearing a pair of glasses attached to a fake nose and mustache, was a normally familiar yellow pegasus pony apparently trying to act out in front of a small crowd of bored-looking ponies.

Vinyl stared blankly at her, an eye twitching slightly. “Yah... Arry... tell me I’m seeing things.” She slowly turned to them, frowning softly. “Please?”

“Well...you’re definitely seeing things...” Arrell replied. “But I’m not entirely sure what those things are.”

She groaned, holding her head in her hooves. “...this is going to be a strange day...”

Yah-Shee shrugged. “It could be weirder.”

“Really?” She turns to him, frowning and pointing at the yellow mare’s flank. “She has Pinkie’s cutie mark. I can only assume Pinkie has hers or something... and that shouldn’t be possible!”

“Magic does a lot of weird stuff,” Arrell said, surprisingly rather calm.

Vinyl slammed her hooves on the table, turning to the red pony as she prepared to chew him out. However, their nonchalance gave her pause, the gears in her head visibly turning as she tried to understand why they’re acting like this. “You... knew this was going to happen?” She furrowed her brow, rubbing her temple. “How?”

“Well...” Yah sighed, rubbing his head. “First off, as you know, we’re not from this dimension. But dimensional travel isn’t just a random thing for us. In order to figure out the winners of our battles, we sometimes have to go to...well…really different places.”

“Sometimes places that are poorly written...” Arrell muttered.

Yah continued on, ignoring that. “Oftentimes, we see things that happen before they do in other universes, or long after they do in others. Your universe just happens to be behind, in comparison to what we’ve seen.” He chuckles. “Heck, I can bet you twenty bits that Ponyville will be covered in vines within a few months.”

“I’m not gonna bet with time travelers.” She scoffed, turning to look out the window. “And I thought that the D- why is the sky checker-boarded?”

“Rarity’s trying to handle the weather control,” the red pegasus answered casually.

“...so, what, she has Thunderlane’s cutie mark?” She scratched her head, confused. “That seems a bit odd, doesn’t it?”

“No, Rainbow Dash’s,” Yah corrected. “And Rainbow has Fluttershy’s, who as you saw has Pinkie’s, who has Applejack’s, who has Rarity’s, who as I just said has Rainbow’s. That’s about it.”

“...but…” Vinyl frowned, tilting her head to one side. “Rainbow’s cutie mark has to do with racing. Why is Rarity controlling the weather, instead?”

“I dunno, the same reason Applejack’s making dresses when she has diamonds for a cutie mark? We just know this stuff happens, not why it does.” Arrell shrugged.

“...brilliant.” She sighed, standing up and moving towards the door. “Let’s go. I can’t handle the headache this is giving me...”

Yah quickly stood up and ran to her side, Arrell following. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, going outside right now...”

“What? Am I going to freeze, or something?” She opened the door and immediately jumped back, eyes wide. “Is that a tornado?!”

Arrell poked his head out the door. “To answer your second question, yes.” He looked up. “And same for your first question, in about five seconds. Might wanna close the door.”

She quickly slammed the door shut, shuddering softly. “This is too weird.” She looked at a nearby mare, frowning slightly at her. “Why aren’t you freaking out?”

The pink pony shook her head. “Because I’m not trying to understand it.” She tapped Vinyl’s forehead, smirking wryly. “That’s the only way your mind will stay intact.”

“Says you.” The disk jockey knocked the hoof away before walking over to Yah-Shee. “What should we do? We can’t leave - not with all that crazy weather out there.”

The blue stallion glanced at a nearby clock. “Actually, we should be fine in...about two hours.”

“Then, if you want to see something cool, you’ll have about twenty minutes to get to the library to watch Twilight get killed and revived as an alicorn,” Arrell added.

She immediately snapped her gaze to the pegasus, eyes wide in shock. “WHAT?!”

“Yeah, that was pretty much everypony else’s reaction,” the red pony continued. “It’s a long story. You can probably ask her yourself later.”

“...I want to just lie down a bit.” She started toward the stairs, pointing at the pegasus accusingly. “Don’t do anything pervy while I’m gone, Arry.”

The pegasus looked at Yah, annoyed. “What kind of pony does she take me for?”

“The kind you are.”

On the other side of town, a green stallion came back into the main area of Ponyville after an… interesting trip down to the farm. As he looked up, the checkerboard clouds did little to get his mind off the unusual sights he had already seen, and only compound his unease. He adjusted his bags a little from their dairy burden and set off toward the local DJ’s house, just wanting to get somewhere familiar and hopefully the way it should be.

Before he realized what happened, he was suddenly pulled into a house as he passed by it. The door was slammed shut, leaving the room in total darkness, the only sound a clattering from outside. After a few seconds, a new sound was heard.

“That was close.” A ball of blue fire appeared in the air before him, illuminating the face of a familiar unicorn mare. “Are you okay, Rhino?”

“Umm… yes?” He stared at her a moment before recognition kicked in. “Oh, wait, you’re the waitress from the diner, right? Umm… Angel, I think it was.”

“That’s correct.” She smiled softly, turning to the door. “I’m surprised you didn’t see that hail coming... b-but maybe you were busy...” She squirmed slightly, nervous. “...I didn’t interrupt anything, did I?”

He shook his head. “No, not really. Your little… helpful abduction only caught me on the tail end of a milk run, so no big deal.” He smiled. “I think helping me from getting pelted by weather overrules anything I might have been busy with anyway.”

“Oh, good.” She sighed in relief, nodding towards the kitchen. “It might be best to put your milk in the fridge. The, ah, new weather pony apparently likes dangerous weather.” She giggled shyly, hurrying forward in an attempt to hide her rosy cheeks.

“Good point, though, is that really all the work of one pony? I thought it was just an anomaly in the weather order or something. Are the rest of the weather ponies not doing anything?”

“That’s something I find a bit weird.” She frowns, sitting down at the simple metal table and lighting the candle with her flame. “The ponies in this town seem to just… accept strange events. The only time I’ve seen otherwise was when I moved here, and Cerberus wandered into the marketplace.”

“They do seem to have a high tolerance for unusual events…” He stowed the milk in the fridge, shutting the door before he thought a moment and looks to Angel. “Do you have a glass or two I can use?”

She blinked, gesturing to a cabinet next to the fridge. “They should be in there... I mostly use them for water, though.”

“That should work fine.” He walked over and grabbed one glass, turning to her with another one held questioningly in his magic. “Do you want some too?”

“...first, I have to ask one thing.” She pointed at the fridge, frowning slightly. “Where, exactly, did you get that?”

He tilted his head at her. “What, the milk? From the source, of course.”

“No, I mean…” She sighed, rubbing her forehead with a hoof. “...who did you get it from? Last I saw, Applejack went into Carousel Boutique and hasn’t come back out.”

“I guess that explains why she wasn’t at the farm… Does not explain why Pinkie was there though.” He fixed the two glasses and brought them over to the table. “But to answer your question, I got it from the cows themselves. I find things easier that way, plus most of them are nice to chat with for a few minutes while they get it.”

“That...” Angel tilted her head, confused. “...wait, what? Pinkie was at the farm? But... does she even know how to work on a farm?”

“If what I saw was any indication, she’s seen it done, but never done it herself.” He shrugged before taking a small sip. “All in all, it’s been a strange day so far… the abduction’s been nicer than I expected though.”

She frowned, a hint of pain leaking into her tone. “Please stop calling it that.” She turns to the side, looking at a small picture frame. “I know you’re joking, but...”

His ears tilted downward a bit. “Alright alright, I didn’t mean to upset you. I do appreciate your invitation into your house with the current weather conditions. Though, may I ask why the candlelight instead of normal?”

“...no reason.” She flipped the frame onto its face, returning her attention to him. “So, uh… you remember that filly? T-the one from yesterday?”

He looked at her questioningly. “Who, Pinchy?”

“Yes, her.” She smiled softly, gesturing to him. “She seems to be very close to you... I could see the adoration in her eyes.”

The stallion smiled as he takes another sip. “Yeah… she does seem to look up to me. I’m doing my best to be worthy of that, but for the life of me, I’m still not quite sure why she thinks that way.”

Angel stared at him blankly, tilting her head curiously. “You... really don’t know?”

“Do you?” He questioned. “I mean, i know she said it was because of magical ability, but I’m fairly certain it’s more than that…”

She shakes her head, turning her gaze to the table. “...I’m sorry. It’s something she should share, not me.”

Rhino blinked at this. “Okay… I guess it makes sense that a resident would know more about her than I do, being a visitor.” He took another sip, noticing she hadn’t yet. “You aren’t going to try the milk?”

“I…” She grimaced, squirming in her seat. “...I have some reservations about that… y-you can have it.”

“Are you sure? I’m sitting here drinking it myself, so there’s nothing wrong with it.” He took a big gulp for emphasis.

“I’m just not hungry…” She sheepishly smiled, shrugging a bit. “N-no offense. I mean, I’m sure it’s good and all…” She trailed off as her stomach decided to protest, growling loudly at her.

His horn was lit up, but he hadn’t taken the milk yet. “Are you sure?”

“Y-yes, I’m sure.” She stands up, grabbing the picture and heading towards the door. “I-I’ll be right back. I need to... freshen up a bit.”

“Oh… okay…” He watched her exit, leaving just him in the flickering light. Rhino sighed as he finished off his glass and moved to hers. “I wonder if I upset her somehow…”

Slice of Life Arc, Pt. 4

Vinyl poked her head out the door, looking up at the sky. Not seeing a single cloud, she cautiously stepped onto the stoop, calling back into the gingerbread-styled building. “All clear. No tornadoes, or even rain.” She paused, noticing the empty streets. “Or... a single pony.”

The two ponies from another dimension chose not to follow out just yet. Instead, they sat at a table, watching her and staying quiet for the time being as they waited to see her reaction to what would happen next.

One of her ears twitched, and she quickly turned to her left. Her eyes widened quickly, and she faced the stallions, slightly nervous. “You, ah… you know anything about a parade, you guys?”

Arrell replied with an almost evil chuckle while Yah-Shee just wore an unsettling smirk and nodded.

“In that case…” She walked up to them, grinning darkly. “You’re going to be joining.” Without a warning, she grabbed them up in her magic and tossed them out into the throng of ponies passing outside, soon joining them.

Neither of them looked very amused, but they didn’t look too surprised either. They just walked along with the other ponies, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. Which essentially required them to plaster giant smiles on their faces and sing along in a chorus they had either memorized from seeing beforehand, or were just magically learning as they went.

As the song-fueled parade ended, Vinyl turns to the two of them, chuckling playfully. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“Gets boring the fourteenth time over,” Arrell deadpanned.

“What?” She tapped his forehead, arching an eyebrow. “You’re saying you’ve participated in this that many times?”

“Probably more than that,” Yah interrupted. “We’ve been to a lot of worlds that have only one or two little changes - usually the added existence of someone into the core dynamic - so we see stuff happening over and over.”

“And for this parade...it’s a Pinkie Pie parade,” Arrell added with a shrug. “Kinda can’t help but join in.”

“So what you’re saying is...” She gestured to a nearby gray mare, who was chatting with a large stallion. “...you eye her flank every single time?”

“...I’m not always in the same spot.”

The stallion’s ear twitched, and he turned to the red pegasus, crimson eyes narrowing slightly. “What was that?” He stormed over, his muscle-bound frame towering above the other pony. “You were ogling my marefriend?”

Arrell looked like he was racking his head for some way to get out of this for a couple seconds before he finally spoke. “...consider it a compliment?”

A white hoof was brought down on his head less than a second later. Vinyl snorted, rolling her eyes and looking up at the surprised stallion. “Sorry, he’s a perv, but he didn’t mean any harm.” She held up the same hoof she hit Arrell with, smiling sheepishly. “We good?”

He laughed, taking the hoof and shaking it pleasantly. “We’re good. I really need to work on my anger, anyways.” He glanced down at the unconscious pegasus, unsure. “Will he be okay?”

“He’s had a lot worse from similar situations,” Yah answered.

“If you say so.” The muscular pony shrugged and walked away, the gray mare by his side.

Vinyl looked at the other unicorn, curious. “He has? Like what?”

“Let’s just say in one of our other visits to this parade, that scene played out as though you weren’t here.”

She grimaced. “Ouch.”

“Yeah, ouch...but hey, worst comes to worst, we can use him as a test dummy to figure out how strong ponies are. He can take a few hits.” Lighting his horn, he lifted the pegasus up onto his back to carry him. “So, now that the parade’s over, what’s your plan?”

“I dunno. Berry asked if she could use my setup in the forest for another game…” She tapped her chin, thoughtful. “She asked for a ‘legendary mode’... whatever that means.”

Yah raised an eyebrow. “Legendary mode…? I’d watch out if I were you. That usually means ‘really difficult’.”

She blinked, tilting her head in curiosity. “So… the normal mode, then?”

“No. If it has the word ‘Legendary’ in it, it’s either really rare or really tough. More so than you’re used to either way.”

“But that’s not possible.” The mare shook her head. “The program was one that I wrote, and it was made to make every single enemy like a living being. Alive, adaptable. The only way it could get harder would be to have a larger number of foes!” She frowned deeply. “I am not letting little Berry Pinch into something like that, and definitely not alone.”

Yah thought for a moment. “...what if there were a couple other ponies in there to keep an eye out?”

“That would be extremely helpful.” Vinyl gestures to him. “Care to expand on that thought?”

“Well...Arrell and I don’t really have anything to do for a while.” He paused. “...or at all, really. We kind of make our own breaks...we could take a day off to help out.”

She blinked, his words sinking into her mind for a moment before she smiled and nodded. “Thanks, Yah. I’d appreciate that.”

The stallion smiled back. “No problem. Besides, a chance to check out some new technology is a chance I always want to take.”

“Sweet!” She turned, gesturing down the road. “Before that, let’s get your friend to my place. He might want someplace comfortable to sleep.”

Yah chuckled and moved to follow her. “Pretty sure he could sleep on a bed of cacti, but yeah, might as well at least get him indoors.”

With a nod from the mare, the two of them head down the street, the red pegasus jostling with every step.

A final clack of the black piece in Rhino’s green magic took Angel’s final red piece. “And that would be game, Angel.”

The white unicorn stared at the board, jaw agape in shock. “I… I can’t believe it… I lost…”

He chuckled at her expression. “Don’t be so surprised, checkers isn’t nearly as complex as chess, so it’s not like I’m a genius at it or anything. It’s just one of those games I like to play instinctually.”

She sighed, letting her head rest on the table between them. “Even so… I hardly ever lose… maybe because I hardly play, but still!”

He tilted his head at her. “It’s just a game you know. Nothing to get upset over.”

“I’m not upset…” She looked up at him, sheepishly smiling. “I just… got reminded of someone… close to me.”

“Oh…” His ears flicked in thought. “And is that a good thing?”

She goes quiet, considering his question before slowly nodding. “Yes. I just… miss him, is all…”

That wording sent off warning signs in the stallion’s head. “Oh… I see…” He suddenly felt as though there was a tangible aura of awkwardness he had stumbled into.

She cleared her throat, sheepishly smiling. “S-sorry, that killed the mood. M-maybe we should try something else? A new game, or something similar?”

“Sure thing, seems like a good way to ride out this odd storm.” His horn lit up as he started to pack away the current board. “What other games were you thinking?”

She squirmed at the word ‘storm’, her eyes darting to the closed blinds for a moment. “Um… well, maybe we can… just talk a bit? I can’t really decide on a game, at the moment…”

The stallion shrugged. “That’s fine too if that’s what you want. Was there anything in particular you wanted to talk about?”

“W-well…” She held up a hoof. “W-where you’re from, maybe?”

A deep chuckle rumbled in Rhino’s chest. “Now that isn’t that a question with an interesting answer while I’m here…” He leaned back looking towards the ceiling. “If I were the cryptic sort… I would say I’m from both here, yet not here.”

She blinked, blankly staring at him. “Rhino, it’s a little too early in the day for riddles…”

“Is it too early for magic and science?” He asked in response. “Because the direct answer involves both. Essentially… I was temporarily taken from an alternate dimension to this one and have decided to treat my time here as a sort of vacation. I live in Ponyville there, but obviously not Ponyville here.”

She deflates slightly. “Oh… I suppose that kinda makes sense…” She cleared her throat once more, gesturing to him. “Do you have a… special somepony, there?”

He nodded. “I do actually. My version of Fluttershy is my marefriend.”

Angel flinched, turning away with a small whimper. “I-I see… I guess you two are happy together, then?”

“We are. We’ve only been together a few months, but things have been great.” He looked back down from the ceiling and saw her turned away. “Hey, you okay?”

“I’m fine...” She sighs, facing him again with teary eyes. “I’m glad everything’s going well with you and… Fluttershy…” She took a shuddering breath before standing up on unsteady legs. “I-I’ll be right back. I need to get started on dinner…” She turned and left, knocking over a picture frame in her haste.

The picture was a simple one that you would find in the household of many happy families. A very obviously pregnant Angel lays there, her round belly on display as she lays on a couch. Laying in a mirroring pose to her, his head against hers in a nuzzle… is Rhino. There can be no doubt it is him either, everything from cutie mark to colors is the same.

The current Rhino stood there, mouth agape as he looked upon the picture. Sure, he had reasoned that there could be some version of him in this universe, but to find out like this is not what he had in mind. His mind raced as he tried to decipher why he wouldn’t have seen himself if he were here, as obviously his apparent wife was. The conclusions he drew were not pleasant to think about and he is soon forced to distance himself from those thoughts with some deep breaths.

“I’m sorry.”

He turned to find the white mare sitting in the kitchen doorway, rubbing her eyes with a hoof. “I just... wanted a little more time with him…”

“More time…” He repeated in a whisper, his voice a bit shaky. “What happened?”

“I… I left for a while… got called away by my job…” She sniffled, her gaze falling to the floor. “He… he saved our daughter… but at a cost…”

The stallion couldn’t help the pangs his heart took for the mare. “How long ago? How is she?”

“She… she’s happy…” She smiled softly, a bittersweet expression. “She probably forgot about me, since then… it’s been four years, after all…”

“You didn’t take care of her?” he asked quietly.

She huffed, her tone taking on an edge. “I just got back from that trip I told you about… I couldn’t see her for six years… not until a month ago…”

He was quiet for a few minutes, thinking, even though he knew he would be saner not to. “She is happy?”

“She’s never appeared to be otherwise…” She closed her eyes, her ears flattening against her head. “I… I never got the courage to speak to her again… I just… feel like she’d blame me…”

“Or maybe she’s been missing you this whole time.” He said, still speaking quietly. “You should talk to her.”

She flinched, bowing her head in shame. “You… you’re probably right… just like he always was…”

“We would probably both agree: family is the most important thing.” His eyes locked onto the floor, Rhino turned away from the picture, walking slowly away.

“Wait.” She rushed over, gently hugging him. “Thank you… for everything…” She laughs flatly, smoothing out her frazzled mane. “Just so you know… I think you’ll be an excellent father… and not just because of my husband…” She grimaces, turning away and blushing brightly. “S-sorry, I wish I could’ve worded that better…”

“It did the job,” he said, still quiet, but finally meeting her eyes. “I hope you can be happy again like your were with him.”

“I hope so, too…” She stood awkwardly for a moment before holding a hoof out to him. “W-when are you leaving, exactly? For home, I mean?”

“I don’t really know…” He took a deep breath. “They said when they send me back, it’ll seem like only a few hours passed there, and it was night so nopony will notice.”

“So… you could possibly been in town for another day, then?” The tone of her voice was hopeful, reinforced by the shy smile on her lips.

“Yeah, I think so. Definitely.” He answered with a voice more like his normal one as the town of things seemed to be going back towards normal. “Why? Have something you wanted me to do?”

“You could say that…” She tapped her chin, a thoughtful expression on her face. “That filly from the other day… she seemed to be really close to you…”

“Who, Berry Pinch? Yeah, she does seem to be taking a shine to me.” This thought brought a smile to his face. “She’s a good filly and very smart.”

“What I want to ask,” she sat down on the floor, smiling softly at him, “is that you make her time with you the best. She’s… special.”

“Already working on that.” He smiled reassuringly at the mare. “I’ve spent a fair amount of time with her while I’ve been here, and I’ll probably spend more. She’s definitely one of my favorite things here.”

“Good…” She sighed in relief, opening the door for him. “Oh, and the weird weather actually ended a few minutes ago.” She tapped her head, playfully sticking her tongue out and winking.

Peeking out the window, Rhino saw this was true. “Well, at least I can head back to my lodgings without fear of random hail now.” He turned back to her, pausing a moment before speaking again. “Despite the last part… it was nice talking to you, Angel.”

“Agreed.” She reached for him but stopped, pulling back nervously. “Um… I-I hope you and your marefriend have good luck…”

“Thank you.” He tilted his head for a moment at her before taking a step closer. “And I wish you luck with your little one.”

“T-thank you…” She sighed, closing her eyes. “I hope she can forgive me…”

“I’m sure she will.” Pausing briefly, the stallion suddenly stepped forward and hugged her.

The mare squeaked, sapphire eyes wide in shock. After a few seconds, she gently embraced him back, smiling softly.

After a minute, the hug broke and Rhino nodded to Angel. “I should probably get going.”

She laughed, waving nonchalantly at him. “Go ahead. I’ll be alright, now…”

“You sure?” He asked sincerely.

“I am.” She shrugged slightly. “I’d like to see you again before you go, but I think I had my fill of fluffy stallion for the day.” She grinned, playfully winking at him.

He chuckled, winking back at her. “Well, if you want to talk again before I leave, just ask.” The door opened with a quick bit of magic.

“I’ll be sure to.” Angel squirmed slightly, her cheeks tinting a soft pink. “I, um, have something I need to take care of, anyways…”

“I understand. I’ll see you around then.” He raised a hoof in goodbye as he exited the house.

She smiled and waved back before closing the door, leaving the stallion to his own devices.

He trotted down the street, his thoughts heavier than usual, but not nearly crushing him anymore as he sorted through them. Still, it was an experience he would never forget.

The library was in a state of panic. Books were either opened on the desks and tables or thrown in piles on the floor. One mare, a butter-yellow pegasus, was flitting from table to table, her breathing erratic, scanning the pages and at times even rereading the same words. Another, a white unicorn, sat off to the side, a young purple dragon helping her search through ancient tomes on magic. Beside her lay a reference guide to the Elements of Harmony.

In the middle of it all, a certain tangerine mare stood, staring at the star-shaped burn on the floor. Despite all the commotion, she didn’t seem the least bit upset. If anything, she was... acceptant.

None of them noticed when the library door creaked open and a royal blue unicorn stallion poked his head in, looking over the flurry of activity. He seemed to be of average height and build, if a little pudgier than most stallions. He had a messy mane and a long tail, both yellow with brown tips, and a pair of glasses on his nose in front of his hazel eyes. On his flank was a picture of a golden shield with a light blue snowflake emblazoned on it.

The earth pony glanced over at the visitor before sighing and walking over to him. “Can I help ya?”

The unicorn looked at her. “Oh, um...what’s going on in here? You all seem...well, most of you seem like you’re looking for something, and ponies have been talking about flashes of light and loud noises coming from in here earlier.”

“Yea, about that…” She scratched the side of her head, looking at the scorch mark on the floor. “A friend of ours vanished - at least, that’s what the others think.”

He tilted his head. “The others? Then what do you think? That they’re still right there? Because I don’t see anypony in here aside from you who isn’t tossing half the books onto the tables and the other half over their shoulder.”

“I think that she’s fine.” Her determined expression faltered and her eyes fell to the floor. “She’s just… somewhere else, right now. She’ll be back.”

The stallion glanced over Applejack’s shoulder at the burn mark on the floor and raised an eyebrow. He was sorely tempted to point out how bad a sign that was, but decided that wouldn’t be the right approach here. Instead, he cleared his throat as he thought of a different way to steer the conversation. “Well...why don’t you explain what happened? And for that matter, why the rest of your friends are apparently trying to break speed reading records. I’m having a little trouble understanding both of those things.”

“Our friend finished a spell that was incomplete for years.” She pointed to a notebook on the table, frowning slightly. “And then, out of nowhere, our Elements just zapped her. She got swallowed up by this big ball of energy that just blinded us as it burst, and… that’s what’s left.”

“...you know, I understood what you said, but I think that just made me even more confused. Does this ‘incomplete spell finishing’ have anything to do with all that crazy weather and the farming problems down at Sweet Apple Acres earlier?”

“The incomplete spell caused that.”

He nodded. “Right. So, basically, she cast an incomplete spell - which, if she comes back, I want you to tell her was a really stupid idea - and that caused all the problems around Ponyville today. Then she finished the spell and cast it again, and that fixed everything, but then made her blow up?”

She shook her head. “No, she fixed the incomplete spell before casting the completed one.”

“Alright then...” He scratched the back of his neck with a hoof. “Guess that explains the book hunt; trying to find anything about this spell. But honestly, I have no clue what to say. If your friend is actually fine somewhere, there’s not really much you can do but wait and see if she comes back. Or maybe contact the princess.”

“I’d have Spike do that, but…” The mare glanced at the drake, quirking an eyebrow. “He seems a little occupied, at the moment.”

The stallion chuckled lightly. “He does, yeah...you know, I could send one if you wanted.”

She turned back to him, eyes wide in surprise. “Really? You could do that?”

He smiled and tapped his horn. “Pretty much every unicorn in the royal guard has to learn a sending spell to keep in constant communication with the princess. Just write it up and I’ll send it. I think you’d do a better job explaining the situation than I would.”

“Wait a second.” She held up a hoof, confusion clear on her face. “You’re part of the royal guard?”

“Winter Solstice, captain of the Ponyville division of the royal guard, at your service.” He saluted playfully and chuckled. “Yeah, appearances can be deceiving, huh? You’re not the first pony to get taken by surprise when I bring it up.”

“No kiddin’? I thought all guards were buff. I mean...” She nervously laughed, backing away a bit. “I’ll, uh, get workin’ on that letter, now.” She ducked as her friend flew just overhead, watching the pegasus fumble a thick tome. “Maybe you can help her, while you wait?”

Sol, looking slightly amused at her nervousness and indifferent to the unintended insult, nodded with a small chuckle. He lit his horn and quickly used his magic to steady the book in Fluttershy’s hooves before trotting over to help with the search for information, leaving Applejack alone to work on the letter.

Several long minutes passed with Sol joining in to help with plowing through the nearly endless supply of books. The other ponies either didn’t notice he was there or didn’t care, because they paid him no heed as he scoured book after book at a somewhat slower pace than the rest of them. This wasn’t so much because he wasn’t in a hurry to find something helpful as it was because he didn’t even know what he was really looking for, aside from any mention of an incomplete spell.

A hoof tapped him on the shoulder and he turned away from the tenth or eleventh book he had grabbed to see who it was. Applejack had returned, a rolled-up letter in her muzzle. He took it in his magic and unfurled it to read it.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I don’t wanna alarm you, but our friend vanished after completing a spell in that book you sent her. I’m sure you didn’t want something bad to happen to her, so can you please explain what you intent was?

Your loyal subject,

Applejack

Sol blinked at the rather informal letter, his eyes flicking over the paper. He started pointing to one of the words near the end. “I think you misspelled ‘your’ here...”

“I what?” She leaned in, reading over the letter once more. “Oh. I guess I sort of… rushed a bit, at the end.”

He chuckled. “It’s fine. I think she’ll get the message either way.” He rolled the paper back up, then pumped more magic through his horn. In a small flash, the letter was gone. “Alright, she should be sending a reply back soon.”

She tilted her head to one side, curious. “And if she doesn’t? Then what?”

“Then either she’s really busy with something and we’ll have to wait, or she’s coming to make a personal visit about this instead.” He rubbed his neck. “Though if it’s one of those two options, I really hope it’s the first one. If she has to actually make an appearance, that means something’s really gone wrong.”

“I suppose that’s true…” Applejack sighed, smiling and holding out a hoof. “Thanks for the help, Solstice.”

He smiled and shook it. “Just call me Sol. And no problem.”

“If ya say so.” She blinked, tilting her head to one side. “Wait, how would she even know who to send the reply to?”

“When we send letters to her, it leaves sort of a magic print on it from the spell. She can tell whose magic it is and send the reply back that way.” He chuckled. “That, or she’ll just send it to you instead, since you signed the letter.”

“Huh.” She laughed brightly, shaking her head. “I guess I forgot about that!”

Before Sol could reply, a bright light shone into the windows from outside, contrasting heavily against the night sky that had risen while they were all in the library. Confused, the three mares, one stallion, and one baby dragon headed to the door to see what was going on outside. Already out there were Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, staring up at what seemed to be the source of the bright light in the sky.

Three ponies slowly descended to the empty city street, the two on either side of the newly-crowned princess finally relaxing their grip on her.

The chromatic-maned one laughed, throwing her hooves in the air. "That was sweet! Your brother should fling you off buildings more often!"

The lavender mare spun around immediately, wings flared indignantly. "No, Rainbow! That's the last time I want anyone picking me up without permission!"

"To be fair," the last one spoke up, "you were pretty much in musical mode. Maybe he unconsciously felt it'd give it that flashy finish?"

"Meh." Rainbow shrugged, turning away from them. "Musicals sound silly. I mean, what pony just breaks out into song at the drop of a hat?" She noticed their flat stares, crossing her forelegs across her chest. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

The lone stallion of the group sighed heavily, shaking his head. "Nothing, Dashie." Ignoring her derisive snort, he turned to the other mare, curious. "Would you like us to escort you back to the castle, Twi?"

She smiled softly, holding up a hoof. "I think I'll be alright. What pony'd attack a princess?" She flinched slightly at her own words, hastily changing the topic. "I need to get home and prepare for the Princess Summit in a few days, anyways. Thank you for the offer, though."

The pegasi looked at each other and shrugged, the mare speaking up. "If you say so." The two took off, the cyan pony turning to the burgundy one. "Seriously, though, what was wrong with what I said earlier?"

Twilight chuckled and turned to walk through the city, her mane rather frazzled after the most recent event. She paused on one side of the back alley to straighten her dress back out, muttering all the while. "At least Rainbow and Enigma were fast enough to catch me before I crashed. That definitely wouldn't have been fun..."

"M-mom?"

The newly-minted alicorn's ears perked up at this. She cautiously peeked over the eye-level stack of crates, her brow furrowing slightly at the sight before her.

A pink filly stood in the middle of the road, her focus entirely on the white mare further down the road, turned away from her.

The small unicorn takes a few steps forward, her body visibly trembling, emerald eyes shimmering. "I-is that you, mom?"

There was no answer for a long, tense moment, enough for the poor pink pony's ears to flatten, her whole body drooping slightly in sorrow. "I-I'm s-"

"You've grown up." The filly's eyes immediately snapped up to the mare's sapphire ones, having turned partially to her, the corner of her lips curled up in a bittersweet smile. "Your father would be proud."

The alabaster pony found the air swiftly forced out of her lungs, the younger knocking her on her flanks with a flying tackle. She gazed down at her, gently stroking the back of her mane as she buried her face in her chest, body heaving in silent sobs. "Shh... it'll be alright, sweetie..." She tilts the small pony's head up, gently dabbing the wet trails on her cheeks away with her blond mane. "There's no need to cry..."

"D-don't leave."

The mare recoiled at this, shocked. "W-what?"

She looked up at the older unicorn, her large, emerald eyes pleading. "P-please, mommy... don't leave me again..."

The white pony hesitated, just for a second, and slowly shook her head. "Sweetie, I... I can't promise that... I have a responsibility..." She grimaced at the utterly devastated look on her daughter's face. With a small sigh, she reached down and picked her up, giggling at the soft squeak this elicited from her. "But tell you what - I'm on leave, right now. Maybe we can spend this time together?"

The pink filly nodded, curling up against her chest. "I... I'd like that, mommy..."

She smiled softly, a genuine smile, and shifted the young pony onto her back, walking away from the shocked alicorn's hiding spot. "I still want an explanation for why you're not in Ponyville," she smirked playfully at the squeak the filly gives, shaking her head, "but that can wait until later. For now, we have to get home."

Twilight waited until they vanished around a corner before stepping out from behind the crates, brow furrowed slightly. "I... isn't Berry an orphan, ever since..." Her voice trailed off, and she slowly turned and headed back to the castle, her mind trying to understand just what was going on around her.

Author's Note

"Thanks to both RLYoshi and Rhino for helping out with this chapter!" :twilightsmile: "Without them, I don’t think this would’ve come out at all!"

"Also, while this is not what half of you are hoping for, I will say this - next chapter should help make up for it! Until then, why not read Crossroads of Possibilty? It’s a cute little one-shot that Rhy and I wrote together featuring an anthro Gel and Rhino!" :pinkiehappy: "Please? It’s hardly gotten views, despite how good we know it is! And there’s a couple stories branching off that one, too!"

As for why this chapter took so long, college takes quite a toll on free time. Especially for those majoring in Computer Science. :ajsleepy:

That’s all we have to say, so have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #30

"Just a hunch!" With a playful grin and a squee, Pinkie jumped away, leaving the others to shake their heads.

The newly-crowned princess rolled her eyes and nodded down the hall. "Come on, everypony. We've got a Princess Summit to-"

Crash.

Twilight stopped in the middle of the hallway, her ear twitching slightly. She turned to her ex-mentor, concerned. “Did you… hear that?”

The white alicorn frowned, turning back to the room they just left. “I did. Something else came through.” She held up a hoof as Twilight moved to pass her. “No, I’ll go investigate. You need to get some rest.”

She moved to argue but, seeing the resolve in the other pony’s eyes, slowly nodded, turning and following her friends.

The solar princess watched her until she went around the corner before she slowly walked back to the room, her body relaxing from its forced regal pose. She pushed open the door and stopped, eyes wide in shock. On the ground before her lay an amber unicorn. She slowly stood up, shaking her flame-colored mane as she regained her bearings.

Celestia stepped forward, holding a trembling hoof out to her. “Sunset… you finally returned…”

She looked up at her and quickly turned away, her ears flat against her head. “Of course… Equestria’s my home, after all…” Her cyan eyes darted about the room, a small frown on her lips. “Where is Twilight?” Despite her calm demeanor, the last word was almost spat out, as if it had left a bad taste in her mouth.

The diarch sighed, bowing her head slightly. “She’s not here. If you so desire, I can go find her for you…” At the curt nod from the mare, she turned and left, her heart heavy with sadness. As she left earshot, she somberly whispered to herself. “You really haven’t changed…”

High above the clouds, a chariot and its passengers soared along. One of the ponies turned to the lone stallion among them, still confused. “So why are we suddenly going to the Crystal Empire, again?”

He sighed in annoyance, turning to her and forcibly spitting out strands of his sienna mane. “Because Princess Celestia called for us.” He glanced to the other mare, quirking an eyebrow. “Why she requested her, however, I’ve no idea.”

The azure unicorn scowled harshly at him, bristling in silent anger. “It is because Trixie is a wonderful performer.” She shrugged, turning to look over the sea of white. “Not that somepony as uncultured as you would know.”

His eye twitched slightly, and he turns to the other unicorn, frowning deeply. “Can I borrow your headset, Vi? Please?”

“Nope.” She pointed in front of them, a tall crystal tower in front of them. “We’re already here.”

Their chariot landed on a balcony and they quickly get off it. The stallion stepped forward and held a hoof up to their driver, smiling warmly. “Thank you. Hope you get that raise.”

“There you are, my little ponies.” Celestia walked onto the crystal platform with an orange pegasus and a purple alicorn in tow. She smiled warmly at them, nodding briefly. “I’m glad you all were able to come so quickly. We need to act soon.”

Vinyl quirked an eyebrow, holding up a hoof. “Pardon me, Princess, but why the rush? And why are we here?”

For the second time since they’ve known her, her expression hardened from the motherly warmth it normally held. “We have to give a former student of mine a lesson.”

On the underside of the balcony, a figure stirred, scratching his chin with a talon. “This sounds interesting…”

“What is taking her so long?” Sunset Shimmer frowned, staring at the door as she paced. “Surely it isn’t that difficult to locate the newest Princess?”

After another couple minutes, she stopped, bristling with bottled-up fury. “Forget it. I’m gonna find her, myself!” She rushed out the room and down the hall, her horn lit up in a detection spell. She easily navigated the maze of hallways, soon reaching a pair of large doors.

Her brow furrowed and she activated a different spell, scanning the door for any anomalies. Finding none, she pushed it open, recoiling at the fog pouring out. “What the…” she scoffed, stepping through the door and moving through the thick haze.

Murky fog covered the room, obscuring all but the most basic shapes and movement, and what movement there was was mysterious indeed. Four figures, one taller than the rest, stood stock still, barely discernable from the furniture. Above, a single other form can be seen flitting around the ceiling. Finally, near the shadowy throne, the reflections of two lens peer out from the mist.

She glared at the silhouettes and continued moving along in a straight direction. “Nothing’s going to stop me from getting even with that-” She yelped, cutting herself off as a bright light suddenly shone on her, raising a hoof to shield her eyes.

Another light landed on a figure to her right. She stared at the mare, confused by the glare she’s getting from her. Her ear twitches as some music starts playing in the background.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

Come on, Sun! I’m about to make you wish you weren’t born
You pathetic, lonely, wannabe unicorn
I am the star of the magic game; you’re just a bore
I’m not known for my heart, but it’s still more than yours
You remind me of Snips and Snails trying to please me, ‘cause you disgust me
Keep your fake Element of Harmony away from me, don’t even touch me
I don’t fake it, I disgrace pricks, tear it down faster than the Ursa did
Even Twilight approves of my magic tricks; you could barely conquer a high school, bitch!
My raps corrupt you; leave you crying all over the place
You’re about to get whooped by three ponies who remember your face
So by the moon rise, if you won’t accept friendship, you’ll lose this race
Now I’m out; I got better things to do, you’re just a waste

How dare you come at me, little loser showmare?
You're a crappy rap-spitting failed magician, I ain't scared
Of this silly filly, boast all you want, I don't care
I do not believe in friends and I don't believe your flair

Don’t panic, dear; but you’re about to crash
I am the princess, here to show you the past
You were one of my greatest students ‘til you went too fast
You wanted more too quickly, and then it all collapsed
Left the world through a mirror, then you came back to claim it
Why didn’t you just listen and try to be patient?
Now your pride is the evil that’ll tear you apart
Unless you change and let friendship into your heart

Oh, stop it! Your raps don’t dissuade me, you’re a phony
You may be the princess, but that doesn’t mean you own me
Fortune and control, that’s the life I’ve selected
So enough with your lessons from the past, I’m not affected

Well you're about to be right now
Let me tell you what's right now
Just take a lesson from Sentry
You’re missing the point there, Sunsetty
There's more to life than popularity
You could even learn that from Rarity
Best make some friends or you’ll lose this
Despite what you think it’s not useless
If you don’t then it won’t be too long ‘fore
The Elements come back to give you an encore

No, this isn’t happening!
All of the memories blackening; wait! Actually
If I recall what that showpony said
Two ponies have come and there’s still one left

Boo! (Hey!) Listen to me
Or you’re gonna lie buried six feet deep
Without anypony to mourn your passing
And nothing you’ve done that’s deserving of lasting
‘Cause you've chosen the path of a selfish mare
And your actions are leaving you in disrepair
The ponies you’ve shunned will give you one chance
Will you take their hoof or fall with your plans?

Is this a telling of things that will be? Or things that may be, only?
If I give up all my plans, can they change? Tell me it’s true with what you show me
I promise to mend my ways; a friend to all ponies I will become
I’ve listened, I haven’t missed my chance to be different; oh bless us, every-

WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Author's Note

“Big thanks to both RLYoshi and Rhino for their help with this chapter, both in the story and in the rap battle!” :twilightsmile: “Yes, we do realize that this is more of an homage rap battle, but we don't care. We wrote it the week the original came out, so it will count! Not going to be as many updates as there were, before - at least, not all in a tight little schedule. E and I are still focusing on those collabs and his classes, after all.”

“Since E’s otherwise occupied, I have one tiny request. While there’s a TVTropes page for this story, there’s currently nothing on it. Can someone please take care of that, for us?” :scootangel: “I’ll get E to draw a pic for you, if you do!~”

“I think that’s all. Party on, dudes!”

“Vinyl, signing off!”

Rap Battle #30: Results and a Sneak Peek

Vinyl sighed blissfully, stretching as she lays on a fancy couch in the lobby of the crystal palace. "This is wonderful... I feel like I can sleep forever on this piece of wonderful furniture..."

"You have, actually." She bolted upright, looking at the orange stallion to her left. "I was told to not disturb you, but you've been asleep for a while."

"Really?" She frowned, scratching her head in confusion. "How long?"

The pegasus guard glanced out a window, as if estimating the time, then responded in a jovial tone. "A year and a half. Not that long, considering."

"WHAT?!" She jumped off the couch, eyes wide in horror. "You've got to be kidding me! How the heck did I survive that long?!"

"Magic." He pointed at the couch. "It sustains the pony resting upon it for as long as they sleep."

"...that is freaky, and you should put that thing away."

"Duly noted." He continued to stand there as she shook herself awake, flinching when she gave him a pointed glare. "I was just wondering... who won that battle thing? It's been a while... I don't think everyone else remembers, but I was kinda curious..."

Vinyl opened her mouth to speak but stopped, watching as a familiar pair of ponies entered the room. Sunset smiled warmly at the blue mare beside her, laughing as the latter finished some unheard joke. The disk jockey watched as they entered another doorway, their merriment audible until the crystal door closed behind them. She chuckled and shook her head, bringing a glass of water up to her lips.

"...it doesn't matter."

She nods, then pauses, thoughtful. "Say... is that mirror still in the room from before?"

Author's Note

"Trixie got the most votes from the last rap battle. Nine to Sunset's two; we didn't even need to count the other votes. Also, to whoever voted for Noble from Lost Pause... you have an awesome taste in YouTubers." :twilightsmile:

"Next arc, we'll be focusing on famous fan characters (mostly), so remember to leave a suggestion for the next battle down below!"

"On another note, we kinda need character cards for each of them. We could make them, but E has a job now, so the raps are using a lot of his time, as it is... could anyone help with that? If so, thanks! Anything to spur on our creativity would be a great help!"

"But for now... how does a sneak peek at the next rap battle sound?" :ajsmug:

The filly from Stable Two, yeah you know who
Playing you like all your fake statues
Yeah, this battle-worn famous unicorn
Will knock you upside your stupid "compact" horn

"Have a wonderful day!"

"Vinyl out!"

Anarchic Union Arc: Rap Battle #31

The halls of the palace were large and empty, save for the lonely echo of two ponies as they trotted through the grandiose corridors. The ivory unicorn looked to her guide, frowning all the while. "So... shouldn't there be more guards around here?"

"We're short-staffed at the moment." He didn't even bother to look back at her as he responds. "The Crystal Fair is rather important, especially with the Prince and Princess attending."

"Really?" She strained her ears, indeed picking up the faint sounds of merriment, sheep noises, and the metallic clang of lance against armor. "I see... I'm surprised I slept through the last one..."

"You were pretty far inside the castle. I don't blame you for not hearing anything."

Almost as soon as he finished his reply, another sound could be heard - the soft voice of a tired filly.

"Are we there yet?"

A fatherly voice answered her patiently. "Almost, Pinchy... I think. Castles aren't exactly the easiest places to find your way in."

Vinyl's ear twitched slightly, and she looks around, confused. "...that sounds li-"

A red blur hit her, hugging her close in jubilation. "Oh thank Luna you're alright! I was afraid you'd never wake up!"

The white pony, caught completely off-guard, stared blankly at the pony embracing her tightly. "...E?"

Around the corner came a green stallion with a pink filly riding on his back. "See? I told you we might have been close."

"Good." She sighed, resting her non-painted cheek against the nape of his neck. "That means I can sleep..."

The disk jockey, meanwhile, was looking from one pony to another, her bafflement growing greater with each passing second. "I don't understand... what are you all doing here?"

Enigma cleared his throat, touching a hoof to his chest. "I got a message from the Crystal Empire, telling me that you were starting to stir. I rushed over on the first train I could."

Rhino told his side of the story. "We tagged along because we were worried and I thought this little one might like a fair experience." At the last part, he nuzzled the little ball of pink on his back.

"Fwuffy..."

He looked back to the others with a sheepish smile. "She wore herself out."

"I... thank you for your concern, but you didn't have to come to our world to do that..." She trailed off as she sees the burgundy pegasus make a cut-throat motion with his hoof. "...what? Did I say something wrong?"

Rhino sighed, slumping a bit. "It's... a short but unfortunate story."

"Ah..." She glanced at the waiting guard, seeing him bow to a familiar purple pony before she continues. "Maybe we can walk and talk? Not trying to be rude, but I want to try something out..."

He nodded, walking to a position near her. "Alright."

They started heading up, further into the castle, as Vinyl began to speak. "So... why are you here, Rhino? In our world, I mean."

"Originally, it was to visit Octavia, you, E, and a few other ponies." He answered evenly.

"Well, that was a nice thought." She tilted her head, smiling sheepishly at him. "Sorry for being... you know, asleep."

"Yeah, it was a bit odd to find that out. I still don't know why they didn't try harder to wake you up." He shook his head slowly.

The pegasus in front of them responded to this, an annoyed tone to his voice. "It could screw up a pony's biology if they aren't naturally awoken. The last one who had that happen isn't with us anymore."

The filly on Rhino's back jolted upright, staring in horror. "What?!"

"Not like that." He groaned, rubbing his forehead with a hoof. "She was changed into a manticore. She's now with Celestia, as an ambassador for the Everfree."

"Huh..." The vet quirked an eyebrow. "She sounds interesting."

"She almost bit my wing off, at first."

He winced. "Okay, to be fair, some ponies just don't like being woken up."

"Yeah, whatever." He stopped in front of a door, gesturing to it with a bemused expression. "The mirror is through here. I'll be heading back to the barracks before a certain someone tries to hit on me again."

Rhino blinked before looking back at the white mare. "Mirror?"

"I'll explain after you finish your story." She leaned against the door, an eyebrow raised. "So I take it you didn't stay on account of me?"

He looked down, taking a moment before answering. "Yeah... when it came time to go home, Twilight said all the jumping between dimensions had made everything in between too unstable for her spell to work anyway."

"...wait, what?" She stared at him, shocked. "You mean... you guys are stuck here?"

He nodded, ears folded. "Yeah... still a bit of a shock when it hits me suddenly."

"Ah... well, uh..." The mare scratched the back of her neck, uncertain what to say. "...I think the mirror could help?"

"How so?"

"If I'm not mistaken, it is a portal to another world... but books by Starswirl have indicated that these portals are fluid." She smiled, reaching over and patting him on the shoulder. "If we find the right arcane frequency, we might be able to return you home."

He smiled briefly, but it faded slightly after a moment. "...what are our chances of randomly finding it?"

She grimaced, turning away to face the door. "...there's a near-infinite number of universes out there... but there's also a place that can allow us to see into several of them at once."

He grunted. "Well, I'll give it some shots, but I can't just keep looking forever. That's not a life I want for Pinchy. I may just have to start new here."

Ruby gently hugged him, her eyes closed as she does so. "...I wish mom was here, too... I miss her..."

Vinyl cleared her throat and points to the door, exclaiming as she attempts to derail the feels train. "Come on, let's go! I want to make sure I grabbed the right spell!" Everyone else quickly followed after some brief nuzzling.

"Here we are!" Vinyl gestured to the room they just entered, grinning at the stallions behind her. "Welcome to the DB Stadium!"

The group found themselves in a large open room, a portal set into the wall behind them. Arranged on the walls of the circular area were large monitors, each showing a different part of a stadium with a small panel underneath each.

Rhino hummed in thought as he looks around. "A control room or something?"

"Nah, that's up there." She pointed up to the ceiling, and the room located there, hanging by several thick beams. "I think I know how everything works... hopefully, it isn't too different from my stuff..."

"Do I even want to know how you found out about this place?"

"Not if you want to keep your sanity."

Rhino nodded. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"Regardless, we should probably get up there so we can start searching." With that, the disk jockey started making her way over to a set of doors off to one side of the arena.

The green stallion held up a hoof. "You haven't said exactly what we're looking for yet."

She turned her head, calling back over her shoulder as the doors opened to reveal an elevator. "I'll know it when I see it!"

The burgundy pegasus at Rhino's side shook his head, muttering just loud enough for the other stallion to hear. "I highly doubt it… if anything, she probably just wants to play with a new toy."

He nodded. "Yeah… but that seems kinda like it's what she does. It probably doesn't even feel like it's been a year and a half since she's seen you."

"I'll bet."

Their conversation was interrupted when a crackling sound fills the air, causing the filly on Rhino's back to begin to stir. The noise was soon replaced by a familiar, excited voice. "Hey, check this out! There's still something here from that last battle they showed!"

"Wait, battle?" Enigma looked up at the box, confused. "What battle?"

"You know, the death battle!" Gleeful giggling reverberated through the empty stadium, barely hiding the rising hum of magic. "Oh, this is gonna be perfect!"

Rhino's ears folded back. "I don't know if it's a good idea to mess with things with the word 'death' in them."

"It'll be fine! See?" Before their eyes, two ponies began to materialize. "I tweaked the settings a bit. No death, but there will be blood!" She started laughing but abruptly stops, sheepishly continuing. "Metaphorically, of course..."

The green unicorn twitched one ear. "This is exactly what I think it is, isn't it?"

"Yep!" There's the sound of a sharp inhale, and then the disk jockey shouted into the microphone.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS

BEGIN!

We meet again, Pip, but after this, it will be over
And this time, you won't be having such a nice closure
Just a touch of my hoof and you'll be blown sky high
Try to beat me in this battle? Mare, don't even try
I mean, look me in the eyes and tell me what story you got
The bulk of it is spent looking over others' better plots!
So bring your best, Toaster Repairpony.
Come on and do it. Ante up and hit me!

Who could this strange pony stepping up to me be?
Does she even qualify, being almost all machine?
Though, come to think of it, such a creature's quite a find
But I should teach her that this pony's not just in her mind
The filly from Stable Two, yeah you know who
Playing you like all your fake statues
Yeah, this lone battle-worn famous unicorn
Will knock you upside your stupid "compact" horn

Eh, I can stomach that verse of yours, I guess
But you'll need a Remedy when I leave you a Bloody Mess
You seriously want to out-rhyme me? You must be Mint-al!
You shot some slaves? Big deal! I'm actually influential!
I powered through all the world could throw my way
Even when my original body started to decay
In case you don't believe me, here's something that's always true:
I'm not an executioner, but I'll gladly stomp you.

Hush now, quiet now, this mare's time's come to an end
Like those foals that you put down and all your raider friends
If you could even nick my mane, may Luna fuck me with the moon
You'll go down quicker than your mother - sorry, too soon?
Go drink your Wild Pegasus, it'll make this painless
Far more than any fallen friend of yours could attest!
But I'll admit, you were able to do something I wasn't
You come back from the dead; too bad Glory doesn't

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Author's Note

Big thanks to RLYoshi and Rhino for helping me, again! I'm sad Yosh is declining to help with future rap battles, but I wish him luck with his future endeavors!

"...you sure you didn't misunderstand him, a little bit?" :applejackunsure:

Please don't get mad at us for using the version of Blackjack we did, in her title card. Her final form has almost no vectors that we could find. :twilightblush:

Extra lines:

Why don't you come close, hear what I have to say
'Cause Little Macintosh wants to come out and play.

And don't you fucking lie to me - I mean, fuck me with the sun
Next time make sure to take the damn safety off your gun!

And what used to be Littlepip's titlecard (here).

"Be sure to leave us a comment below telling us who you'd like to see next! Thanks for reading, and I hope you all have a wonderful day!"

Enigma out!

"Seriously, though, we'd really appreciate some suggestions. We have no idea who to do next, since we don't know that many famous fan characters." :ajsleepy: "Without those, there won't be any more rap battles for a while. Just as a warning."

Rap Battle #23: Results and Aftermath

Fluttershy sat under an umbrella at an outdoor cafe, trying to avoid the harsh rays of the sun. ...I hope Princess Celestia isn’t angry about something... She glanced at the stallion sitting across from her, worried. “...so...you and Little Strongheart?”

He nodded curtly, never taking his eyes off the juice in front of him. “It was the happiest day of mah life.” He gave a small smile. “She asked me, right in front of her father, to be mah wife.” He shook his head, chuckling softly. “Turns out it was both their idea. Ain’t that a hoot?”

Before the yellow mare could respond, a voice called out to them. “Sorry we’re late!~”

They both turned to the source, their jaws dropping in surprise at the sight of Soarin’ and Rarity. Of course, it wasn’t the couple that garnered the reaction - it was the fact that the fashionable mare had her wings back.

Fluttershy found her voice first. “...Rarity...I thought you never wanted those again...especially considering what happened last time...”

Rarity frowned, crossing her forehooves over her chest. “I thought we agreed never to mention that again.” She glanced back at her coltfriend, smiling brightly. “You alright, darling?”

He grunted, struggling under the weight of a dozen shopping bags. “Peachy.”

She waved a hoof dismissively, giggling playfully. “I should hope so. This is your punishment, after all.” She moved in close to his ear, whispering into it. “Maybe next time, you won’t brag about something so...unbecoming like that in public.”

The timid mare blinked, surprised and not hearing what Rarity had whispered. “...was that part of their deal?”

Braeburn and Soarin’ stared at her, confused. The blue pegasus spoke up. “...what deal? We never made any bet; we just did the rap battle to settle a disagreement.”

“Wait a minute.” The earth pony took off his Stetson, his eyes wide in disbelief. “Are ya sayin’ that Ah won?”

Fluttershy hesitated slightly, slowly nodding her head. “...um...yes...but it was very close...”

The tan stallion stood up and, putting his hat back on, trotted over to the burdened pegasus. He held a hoof out, smiling genially. “Ya did well.”

Soarin’ quickly lifted a hoof, shook the offered one, and put it back down. He nodded, trying to give a smile back, but having it turn out more like a grimace. “You, too.” With that, he slowly began his trek to the Carousel Boutique, on the other side of town.

“Surely, ‘Tia, this is just a coincidence?”

The princesses were in their study, discussing what could only be described as a matter of utmost importance. It didn’t help that the elder sister was burning with fury. “This is no coincidence! Somepony - someone - is collecting, stealing, the ancient artifacts!”

The princess of the night frowned, watching her sister pace around the room. “Getting furious will not help, ‘Tia.”

The white alicorn sighed, calming down, her mane putting itself out. “...you are correct, Lulu...still, the Millenium Puzzle and the Dreamcatcher have been taken...and you know what will happen if the artifacts are put into the wrong hooves...”

The younger sister nuzzled her elder, a reassuring smile on her face. “There’s no need to worry. We still have one of the artifacts hidden away, and another with a reliable friend. Remember, ‘Tia...” She looked out the window, narrowing her eyes slightly against the sunlight.

“...keep calm...and dubstep on...”

Enigma knocked on Vinyl’s bedroom door, frowning slightly. It had been four days since he’d last seen her, and he was starting to worry. “...Vi? It’s me, Enigma. Can I come in?”

Silence answered him. Groaning, he rested his head against the smooth wood separating them. “...at least tell me what’s wrong...please?”

A few more seconds passed. He sighed, turning to leave, but a click caused him to pause mid-step. He glanced back, seeing a magenta eye peeking out at him.

The eye quickly glanced down at the small brass knob then back. Slowly, a single white rose floated out, wrapping around the door handle. The door then closed in his face.

Blinking in confusion, he turned and went to his own room. He sighed once more, laying down on his cloud bed. “...oh, Vi...” He grabbed his white plushie, holding it close to his chest. “...I wish I could just tell you...” The red pegasus closed his eyes, singing softly to himself.

I’ve got to be honest, I think you know.

We’re covered in lies and that’s okay.

There’s somewhere beyond this, I know,

But I hope I can find the words to say.

Never again, no,

No, never again.

’Cause you’re a god, and I am not,

And I just thought I’d let you know...

Meanwhile, on the other side of the house, Vinyl was laying on her bed. She hiccupped, feeling her tears freely falling onto her pillow. She took a deep breath, trying her best to calm herself down.

She sat up, taking another white, thornless rose from the tiny garden on her windowsill. She held it up to her lips, gently giving the blossom a kiss. “...I remember...when you gave me this, E...” She placed it in her mane and, glancing at herself in the mirror, felt a wave of sadness crash over her. “...and I treated you so horribly...”

What hurts the most

Was being so close,

And having so much to say,

And watching you walk away.

And never knowing

What could have been,

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was tryin’ to do.

In the Everfree Forest, there lived a zebra. She lived a humble life, taking what she needed from nature. When that didn’t suffice, she occasionally made trips into town. Such was what she was doing right now, leaving her hut completely empty.

A cloud of dark blue smoke filtered in through a window. It moved over every inch of the room, stopping right in front of a simple brown chest. Without a word, it enveloped the object and swiftly departed, leaving behind a single, magenta hair.

Author's Note

I greatly apologize for the increased EnigmaXVinyl moments. :twilightblush: As of publishing this chapter, the voting results were 47 to 43, Braeburn’s favor. There were also about three votes for Luna, one for Pinkie, one for Captain Jack Harkness, and...one for the TARDIS. :ajbemused:

Like I said in the latest chapter of ‘No Longer an Enigma’, I am going to be returning to college starting on Monday, so the chapters will definitely be slower going. :ajsleepy: Oh, and be sure to check out the contest in my blogs! :scootangel:

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #28: Results and Aftermath (Pt. 1)

Vinyl sat on the stage, glancing back and forth at the two royal mares. It had been two days since the rap battle, and the votes had finished coming in. She was reluctant to say anything, though, as the competitors seemed too engrossed to even notice her.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity to the white mare, the Changeling queen turned to her; a smug look on her face. “Tell us, little one. Tell us who won.”

Cadence turned as well, glaring at Chrysalis. “Yes, please do. I grow bored of waiting to see by how much she lost.”

“...actually...” Vinyl looked up at them, surprise clear on her face. “...Chrysalis won...”

The pink alicorn was shocked, to say the least. “...wh-what?”

“Apparently, that last couplet was enough for her to win...” She put her phone away, frowning slightly. “...well, it was close, at least.”

“This is just wonderful!” The queen laughed, head thrown back in glee. She turned to the princess, grinning maliciously. “Revenge is sweet, is it not?”

Cadence glared. “Just what are you planning to do, now?”

“Oh, you’ll find out.” She looked up and nodded. Four changelings dropped down from above, each one grabbing one of the pink pony’s legs. Chrysalis stepped forward, placing a hoof on her captive’s cheek. “You, and everyone else in this town.”

“What?!”

The queen just laughed once more, her horn glowing a sickly green. “You lose!” She fired a ball of light into the air, where it exploded into a shower of sparks.

As soon as the last of the flare evaporated, the air was filled with a monotonous droning. The sky grew dark, as if the sun had suddenly gone out.

Ponies in the streets looked up, worry clear on their faces. Worry changed to horror as multiple black forms descended upon the town. The ones who were in their homes barricaded the doors and windows, huddling with their loved ones as they waited for it to pass.

The ones out in the open weren’t so lucky. The changelings snatched up anypony they could find, taking them to the stage in town square. As soon as they were there, they sealed them away in glistening green cocoons.

Six ponies, however, wouldn’t have been safe from the swarm, even if they’d been in Princess Celestia’s castle. Six places were the main targets of the insectoid army.

Six mares were swiftly taken captive.

On one side of town, a pink filly and a forest green unicorn were walking down a path. The younger pony was sitting comfortably on the stallion’s back, giggling softly. “Thank you for spending the day with me, Rhino!” She took another lick of her ice cream cone as she held it carefully in her hooves. “It was also nice of you to buy this for me!”

The green stallion licked his own ice cream he held in front of him with his magic. “Well, it’s not like I didn’t get something out of it too, but you’re very welcome. I’ve been having a great time while I’ve been here.”

“I’m happy to hear that!” She giggled, beaming brightly at him. She looked up, a hoof to her chin as she thought for a moment, her smile slowly changing into a frown. “To be honest, I was worried that teaching my friend magic would be a hassle during your vacation. Not to mention that fight you had with sensei.”

“I don’t mind giving little lessons to young ones when they want them, I do it at home too.” He frowned slightly. “Wasn’t particularly happy about having to fight Octavia, but I feel all of us got closer because of it, so I guess it was worth it.” He tossed the cone in his mouth, having eaten all the ice cream from it.

She opened her mouth to respond, but a growing noise caught her attention. “...Rhino? Do you hear that?” She glanced around, wondering where it was coming from.

Rhino’s ears flicked, causing Specter to pop his head out of the pony’s mane. The stallion was silent for a moment before the fur along his spine stood straight up and he darted into the nearest alley. His voice reflected serious as he spoke, “Specter, Pinchy, hold onto me and try not to make any noise.” His ears were perked to their full extent as he muttered, “Not again...”

Pinchy nodded, wrapping her forelegs around his neck. She thought for a moment before her horn lit up almost imperceptibly. A few words in pink light appeared on the wall next to them: What is it, Rhino?

He moved into the shadow of one of the buildings next to the alley as green script appeared underneath the filly’s. Changelings. By the sound, almost as many as assaulted Canterlot. The script pauses a moment before continuing. Last time, my father and I boarded up the house and defended it until the barrier blasted them out... I don’t think there will be a barrier this time...

She started to tremble, her eyes darting around in panic. ...then...w-what’s going to happen?

His eyes darted back to her as a small circle appeared underneath her and attached her to his back. We stay safe, we don’t panic, and we play it by ear. Don’t immediately trust anypony you see, they could be changelings in disguise. He peeked out at the street and frowned before drawing his head back into the shadows. Any ideas?

I don’t- There’s a pause in the script, and her hooves grip him more firmly. “Behind you!”

Rhino’s eyes locked onto the chitinous form approaching them from behind. His horn flared as he turned and a green glow surrounded the neck of the changeling. Suddenly the bug pony is slammed into the wall as the stallion applied more pressure to its neck. The creature panics, but soon falls unconscious with its windpipe gripped. The stallion kept the pressure on for a moment longer to be sure before releasing it and growling quietly. His script appeared again in the air in front of them. We aren’t safe here. My circle will keep you attached to me so they can’t take you... but we need a plan. It won’t be long until they find this one. He kicked the changeling’s head none too gently.

Maybe we can try to find Vinyl? She glanced around, nervous. She’s actually beaten a number of these things before...

Location, direction, and approximate distance?

Pinchy blinked at these words, slightly confused. ...um...her house, north of here, and...fifty meters?

Rhino peeked around the corner, looking north down the street. Record on the roof? He felt her nod against his neck. Close your eyes if you don’t want to be disoriented. His horn glowed as the trio suddenly disappeared and reappeared halfway to the house in another alley for a millisecond before disappearing again and ending up in the DJ’s front room.

A cello bow quickly found its way to his neck. “...oh. It’s you.” It got pulled away, the mare holding it giving him an even look. “I can’t think of any Changeling that can do that, so it must be you.” She moved over to a window, cautiously peering out. “I assume you know of the situation, Rhino?”

Rhino turned to check on the filly on his back as he responded, “All I know is that changelings are here, that’s enough to know what steps I had to take.” He turned to the mare with a suspicious glance. “How did you get a ring onto my horn in our fight?”

“You remember that stick that hit your head?” She smirked slightly. “I hid the ring on it. It was actually pure luck that it hit in a way to put it on your head.”

He nods. “Correct. It is you then, I had to be sure.” He turned away from the window. “Is Vi here as well?”

The gray mare nodded, pointing a hoof towards the door behind the staircase. “She’s in the basement. I can only assume that she’s planning on fighting that swarm.”

“Is this a safe place for Pinchy and Specter?”

“It should be.” She knocked a hoof against one of the bars in the window. “It’d be impossible to get in here once it goes into lockdown.”

The filly tapped the stallion’s cheek, a concerned look on her face. “...Rhino? Are you going out there?”

He looked back to her. “Maybe, maybe not. First priority was getting you safe, the rest of the planning starts now. Knowing who we can trust, secure locations, equipment, all that good stuff to help us survive.”

“Well, you can trust us.”

The basement door opens, revealing a white mare with a sheath and a sling on her back. “As for secure locations, you can’t get any more secure than this.” She turned to the side, smirking slightly. “...and they thought I was crazy for making his house Changeling-proof...”

A burgundy pegasus stepped out from behind the mare, metal and tubing adorning his body. “I know about a few places that have already been taken over by that swarm.” He pulled out a map and laid it out on the table, pointing to each place as he named it. “Golden Oaks Library, Carousel Boutique, Town Hall...” He hesitated for a moment before moving his hoof to the next spot. “...Fluttershy’s house...” Rhino growls quietly at that location. “...if I had to guess, they’re going after the Elements of Harmony...and their wielders...”

“What are we waiting for?” Vinyl started moving towards the front door, scowling. “Let’s teach those insects a lesson.”

“And get yourself captured in the process so you don’t end up helping anypony.” The green stallion stated bluntly. “We need a plan, rushing into things just increases the risk that Ponyville is lost completely. So, what else do we know about this invasion?”

“Well...” Octavia glanced out the window, getting a clear view of Town Hall. “Considering that they’re taking over, they’d probably want a place that’s central to the area.” She pointed a hoof at the building. “Look, there’s hardly any Changelings there. I believe that’s because they’ve already secured that area.”

“Taking out leaders will usually stop or at least throw the troops into disarray.” The stallion looks out the window again. “There’s no guarantee it’ll stop them, but it’ll help...should we succeed.” He sighs. “We either go now, or try to find others to help and run the risk of losing those we already have...” He turns to the group. “Opinions?”

The group sat in silence for a few moments before the sophisticated mare spoke up. “I’d like some reinforcements, but I’m not sure I want to lose anypony.” She stood up, turning to the emerald stallion. “I suppose we’ll have to go now. I really can’t think of anypony who could help us, anyways. At least, anypony that hasn’t already been captured.” Pinchy raised a hoof, but Octavia stopped her, her expression softening. “You’re a bright student, Berry, but you’re not ready. Not yet.”

The filly slumped in her spot on the tall stallion’s back, pouting. She glanced at her idol, reaching a hoof into the bag on her back. “Rhino?”

He softened the serious expression he had put on since they first heard the buzzing. “Yes?”

She held out her hoof, a black piece of metal carefully balanced on it. “...in case you need it...”

He smiled as he levitates the kunai and puts it in his own bags. “Thanks Pinchy...”

She smiled back, gently nuzzling his cheek. “Please be safe, Rhino...”

The unicorn closest to the door cleared her throat, smirking cheekily. “Sorry to interrupt your little heart-to-heart, but the longer we wait, the more of Ponyville is lost.”

Enigma placed a metal-clad hoof on the other stallion’s shoulder, concern clear on his face. “Are you ready?”

Rhino ended the spell keeping the filly attached to him as he sets her and Specter down. “Stay safe you two.” He closed his eyes and they came open determined. “Ready.”

Vinyl nodded, opening the door to reveal a yellow mare. She blinked, staring in surprise at the unexpected visitor. “...‘Shy? What the hay...?”

The disheveled pegasus stumbled into the house, her legs trembling. The door closed behind her, audibly locking. “T-thank goodness...I-I’ve been knocking for three minutes...”

Pinchy approached, her head tilted to one side. “Miss Fluttershy? Can I help you with your cheek?” The mare nodded, and the filly gently put a glowing hoof on her cheek. “This will only take a second...” Her eyes narrowed, and her hoof glowed brighter. “...imposter.”

Before anything else could be said, the yellow pony’s head suddenly snapped back, her now-limp body falling to the floor. Pinchy turned to the others, a proud smile on her face. “One more down.” She blinked, taking in their stunned stares. “...what?”

Rhino said slowly, “...I really hope you can explain what tipped you off that was a changeling... otherwise you just knocked out Fluttershy.”

She tilted her head at him, frowning slightly. “...you didn’t see that?”

He raised an eyebrow at her expectantly.

She motioned a hoof at the prone form. “There was some kind of...distortion around her.” She poked at one of the hooves. “The kind I’d normally see from an illusion. When I touched her cheek, it clinched my suspicions. Her fur felt different than it normally did - more like cotton than velvet.”

Right at that moment, a green flame moved across the pegasus’s form, yellow fur being replaced with black carapace as it went.

Rhino appraised the unconscious changeling before turning to the filly with a smile. “Excellent job.” He looked to Vinyl. “Got any rope or something?”

The disk jockey nodded, pointing towards the hall closet. “I’ve got a number of yards for use on stage. Help yourself.”

The stallion floated out the rope and began binding the changeling. He tied the forehooves and backhooves in pairs, then the pairs to each other. He then tied the wings down, the muzzle shut, that to the hooves, then finished up by tying the changeling to one of the bars on the windows so that it hangs above the floor. “That should hold it for now.”

Vinyl motioned towards the door. “We’d better get moving. Don’t want any more changelings trying to trick us, right?” She grinned, looking at the green stallion. “Lead the way, Rhy.”

He gave the geared-up mare a questioning look. “Why am I leading the way?”

She quirked an eyebrow at him. “You’re the one with the plan, right?”

He sighed. “You count ‘defeat their leader’ as a plan? Well, I guess it’s more than we had a moment ago.” He peeked out the window. “We’ll have to move fast...now!” With that, the door was swiftly yanked open, the group of ponies swiftly rushing outside.

As soon as everypony had left, the pink filly grabbed a scrap of parchment and began to write on it.

Specter, still with his headset on, looked at the filly curiously. “Do I want to know what you’re up to?”

She glanced over at him, a determined look on her face. “I’m not gonna sit here and do nothing.” She moved over to the door, briefly opening it before she returned to her spot next to the squirrel. “...I don’t want them to go out there on their own...”

Author's Note

The winner, at the time of posting, is Chrysalis, 27 to 20. Because she won, there's gonna be a bit of a fighting segment for the next chapter as our heroes attempt to kick the villain out of the town!

Special thanks to RLYoshi and Rhino for doing this chapter with me!

I’m infiltrating the author’s notes!

“Is that you, Yosh? You shouldn't be in here!”

Before Vi starts chasing him, I just want to say have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #1

This time, she'd gone too far. Rainbow hated when Twilight overreacted to one of her pranks. So what if she'd rubbed poison joke on her horn again? They had the cure; it wasn't permanent. Twilight didn't have to steal her property and show those pictures to the whole town!

So, in a fit of anger and desperation, Dash did what she saw as the only thing that would get it through that thick skull of hers.

She invited the librarian to the town square, where she had set up a stage. Sitting at the back was a white unicorn with a blue mane and magenta sunglasses, bobbing her head to an unheard rhythm. Rainbow sat off to the side, waiting for Twilight to appear.

Soon enough, the purple unicorn showed up, a confused look on her face. "Rainbow, what's going on here?"

Rainbow tossed her a microphone, grinning widely. "Just a little thing Vinyl told me about, to help settle this once and for all!" She faced the slowly growing crowd of ponies, bringing a mic of her own to her mouth. "Hope you enjoy this!" She pointed a hoof at the white unicorn, her excitement clearly showing. "HIT IT!"

Vinyl nodded, putting on a record. Her horn flared with a blue magic aura, generating a background for each of the ponies in front of her. Almost as soon as the music began, she raised her hooves in the air, yelling over the track to make sure she could be heard.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

VS.

BEGIN!

Well lookie here, if it isn't the egg head!
Tell me does it hurt that Big Mac never joined you in your bed?
For a colt to adore you, he'd have ta be mad as a hatter,
Or maybe the type who likes his mares to be fatter.
I mean, really, Twi, why don't you lay off the Twinkies?
I swear, you probably eat more sweets than Pinkie!
Everypony who hears my name knows I'm a sight to see;
Yours makes them remember that awful movie series!

You have to cheat in order to win a simple race.
Back off before I'm forced to put you in your place!
I could shove your skinny flank into a cardboard box,
Toss it off a cliff and see how long it takes to hit the rocks.
Stallions come to my library to check out my plot.
They'd prefer my cushions to whatever you got.
Though, from what I heard, you prefer fillies over colts -
Makes me wonder why you really wanna join the Wonderbolts!

I'm as straight as an arrow and can pick from all my fans.
Your only company at night are books hidden in your bed stand!
Just like on the train, you'd better get a clue -
Even your "want it need it" spell can't make anypony love you!

I'm twenty percent cooler than a double rainbow.
You gained half of your fans due to your special "private shows."
So I'm a virgin. Big deal! It doesn't matter to me.
I'm not the one that has to worry about STD's.

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

Rainbow turned to the white unicorn, confused. " ... Vinyl, who are you talking to?"

She just grinned, readjusting her shades. "Nopony you'd know, Dash."

Rap Battle #2: Results and Aftermath

"Hi, DJ P0N-3!!"

"YAH!" Vinyl fell out of her chair, flat on her back. She looked up, staring at the blue eyes inches from her face. " ... oh ... hi, Pinkie."

"You dropped these!" The pink mare held up the shades Vinyl was wearing, which had flown from her face when she fell onto the ground. "Anyways, how are you? Did you need any more lemonade?"

She got up, shaking herself to get over the shock. "I'm fine, Pinkie." She looked at her glass and winced, seeing it shattered. It seemed that her magic overwhelmed it when she'd been startled. " ... actually, I'll take another glass." She took her shades and put them on, sighing softly.

Her vision was immediately filled with white.

Recoiling, she realized the incredibly bright color came from some cupcakes. She looked up at Pinkie, questioning.

Pinkie just smiled excitedly at her. "Marshmallow cupcakes! I made them today! Rarity helped, and they turned out superbly! Of course, she didn't want to touch most of the ingredients directly."

Vinyl sat there, letting the pink, possibly sugar-filled mare continue her rant for a few minutes. Her mind was elsewhere - more specifically, which songs she would play at tonight's rave.

"Who won?"

She blinked, looking up at the other mare. "Come again?"

Pinkie giggled, poking Vinyl's shades in mock admonishment. "You know, the battle! Who won it? It's been bugging me all week!"

She gently knocked the hoof away, chuckling softly. " ... you realize it was only yesterday, right?" She waved as if washing away her own question. "Ignore that. Sure, I'll check now." She pulled out her phone and pressed a few buttons on it.

Vinyl nodded and turned back to Pinkie, who was now bouncing in place from excitement. "After counting the votes, the winner is..." She pointed a hoof at the mare, grinning. " ... you."

If Pinkie was excited before, she was absolutely ecstatic now. "WOOHOO! I can't believe it! I thought for sure Rarity would win, especially since I went all 'cupcakes' up there!"

Vinyl blinked, staring blankly at her. " ... what do you mean?"

Pinkie, of course, ignored her, rambling on without paying attention to anyone else. "I hope she'll keep her part of the deal! Oh, I can't wait to have fun with her at the beach! We can play hoofball and make sandcastles - ooh! I should invite Sweetie Belle, too! See ya!" She zoomed out of the restaurant, leaving behind a once-more confused Vinyl.

" ... what about my lemonade?" After a few more moments of silence, she sighed, putting in her earbuds. Soon, she was bobbing her head, smiling and singing along. "Backstroke lover always hidin' 'neath the cover ... " She left the shop, leaving the white cupcake sitting on the table, untouched.

Soon, a white form stepped out of the kitchen, confused. "Pinkie! Where did you go?" She stopped, noticing the dessert. Glancing around quickly, she took it and headed back into the kitchen, preparing to make a few more batches.

I apologize for the short chapter, but I felt like this one had to be done. This was written while on my vacation to Disney World, and after I rode the Rock and Rollercoaster (Featuring AEROSMITH! F*CK YEAH!) for the second time.

This is a continuation from the previous chapter. Just so no one is confused.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed!~

(On a side note, I've never read "Cupcakes". And Pinkie won by 12 votes at the time I posted this chapter. And there was one comment that was confusing as to who they were voting for, so I didn't count it. Sorry!)

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #4: Alternate Aftermath

Vinyl awoke slowly, squinting into the sun that suddenly appeared above her. Groggily getting to her hooves, she glanced around, confused. "...what just happened? Why am I outside?" She noticed a group of voices nearby, so she silently jumped into a bush, peeking out at the source.

Four ponies were passing by. The adult of the group, a familiar yellow pegasus, trot ahead of the rest, glancing back nervously at the three fillies following her. "...um...what are you girls doing? If you don't mind me asking, I mean..." She squeaked in surprise and fear as a machine was shoved in front of her and into her face, leaving a print on the lens as it bumped her nose.

"Don't mind us, Fluttershy! We're just here to make a video featuring DJ TR33, the newest up-and-coming musician of Ponyville!" The orange filly poked her head out from behind the video camera, patting it with a hoof.

The DJ hiding in the hedge wondered why that device looked extremely familiar. Maybe it has something to do with the pair of eighth notes on the side of it?

"Neat, huh? Vinyl lent it to us!"

Ah, that explains it.

She paused, bringing the same hoof up to her chin, lost in thought. "She said something about having it for music videos. I forget."

Vinyl's eye twitched, realizing she never took the memory card out before letting them borrow it. The memory card with her latest video on it. She might delete all my hard work!! She bit on a branch, trying to keep herself from yelling out in agony.

Fluttershy glanced around, worried. "...where is Vinyl, anyways? I thought we were going to meet here with Octavia..."

"Oh, she left town." The white unicorn filly said, putting down her microphone. "Apparently, Octavia gave away something important to her on accident."

On a mountain fifty miles away from Ponyville, a different white unicorn sneezed. She pulled her scarf tighter around herself, climbing higher and higher. "...can't believe Octy...gave my Cloudsmith record away...don't worry, my precious...I won't let anyone hurt you!"

She stopped at a ledge, a group of fifteen snow-beasts in her way. "This hardly seems fair." She smirked, getting into a fighting stance. "You shoulda brought more!" She leapt at them, a hoof reared back to strike. "AW, YEAH!"

Vinyl, nestled inconspicuously in the bushes, recalled the discovery of her missing record. Her jaw dropped as she realized just what was going on. I'm in the past! DEAR LUNA, THIS IS AWESOME! She grinned, watching excitedly from her little hiding spot as the events in front of her unfolded.

Fluttershy frowned, upset. "...oh...well that's not good..." She looked up, and seeing a grey mare approaching, quickly turned to the three fillies. "I'm sorry, girls, but I need to talk to somebu-" She blushed, shaking her head. "Excuse me, somepony. Maybe you can interview Pinkie? I'm sure she'd like that..."

Thinking about it, that slip-up makes sense. It sounded like she was going to say 'somebunny'. Vinyl recalled the story she shared where she was somehow turned into a rabbit. She wasn't really paying attention to the 'why', much more interested in what the creatures had to say.

The trio grinned at each other, nodding simultaneously. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS INTERVIEWERS, YAY!" They galloped off, the yellow one calling over her shoulder at Fluttershy. "See ya later, DJ TR33!"

Fluttershy thought for a moment, pondering what they said. "...I'd like to be a TR33." Smiling at that thought, she slowly approached the other mare.

Vinyl facehoofed, groaning slightly at that bad joke.

The earth pony looked up at Fluttershy, a sheepish smile on her face. "My apologies. I didn't expect that it would take such a long time to acquire another cello."

"Oh, it's no problem at all." She lift up the flap of her saddlebag with her wing, pulling out a familiar black box. "Would you like to hear the results?"

Octavia stared at the device for a few moments. "Pardon me for asking, but how are you going to use that? Vinyl always used her magic."

The white unicorn sneezed once more, beginning to wonder if she was getting a cold. Looking down at the pile of snow trolls underhoof, she yanked up on the hair of the leader, frowning in annoyance. "So let me get this straight - you don't know where my Cloudsmith album is?"

It shook its head, eyes wide in fear of the unicorn in front of it.

She sighed, jumping off the troll pile. "Next stop, the Mammoth Fields..."

Fluttershy smiled, wiggling the tips of her wings. "I'll use it with these, of course." She then proceeded to press buttons with a deftness that would impress most video gamers. Looking at the screen, she tilted her head, confused. "...this is odd...why are they pitting ponies against each other? That doesn't seem very-"

"Fluttershy." The yellow pegasus glanced up at her friend, who looked like she was straining herself holding something inside. "Please, just tell me who won."

"...oh...um...okay..." Fluttershy flicked the screen repeatedly, eyes wide in surprise, keeping tally in her mind. "...wow...that's a lot of votes..." Eventually, she reached the end. She nervously turned to the mare, shock written all over her face. "...you..."

Octavia stood there, confused. "...me...what? Did I win?"

With a small blush, she nodded, placing the phone back into her saddlebag. "Congratulations." She squeaked as the gray mare suddenly pulled her into a crushing hug, one that rivaled Luna's.

"Oh, thank you, Fluttershy!" To say she was beaming would be an understatement. "Vinyl will finally go to rehab! She'll be able to quit drinking so much!"

Fluttershy sighed, glad that was over. Suddenly a blur of white and green raced past her. Blinking, she looked after them, recognizing the bunny, as well as the creature currently clamped onto one of his ears. "Gummy! Please, why are you biting Angel bunny?" She chased after them, worried something bad would happen, leaving behind a bemused mare.

Vinyl's jaw dropped. "...this can't be right...I won, didn't I?" Before she could think about this any more, a tugging sensation gripped her body. She cried out in surprise as an unknown force yanked her backwards and into a darkness.

Present Day

"Come on, Sparkle! Where is she? Surely she can't be that hard to bring back!"

The library wasn't anywhere near full, but it was hard to tell from looking around. Everypony who had a rap battle, not including Octavia (she was still looking for Dinky), Discord (he was trapped on the sun), Chrysalis (she decided to honor the bet...for now), the Flim Flam Brothers (they were chased out of town) and, for some reason, Luna, was gathered in there, giving their full and undivided attention to the studious unicorn.

Said mare was glaring at the blue unicorn who kept interrupting her. "Would you like to attempt this?" She narrowed her eyes as the ex-showmare shuffled nervously. "I didn't think so." She sighed, running a hoof through her hair. "...she's in an entirely different dimension...that just makes it that much harder to retrieve her..." Her eyelids began to feel heavy. "...mana exhaustion...I...I need to rest a bit...before I do that again..." With that, she collapsed, causing the room to break out in panic.

I'll be honest here, we're just throwing science at the wall and hoping it will stick. *gets a hoof over the head* ...ouch. Okay, so this is essentially what I've decided the 'Alternate Aftermath' chapters will go - a re-hash of the chapter with the other participant winning, and seeing what would happen then. Please don't be mad. This is so the next few rap battles have time to be worked on, as, currently, there are no lines for the next one. ^^;

...what? That's all I have to say right now.

Have a nice day!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #20: Results and Aftermath

Vinyl was seated in the den, talking on her phone. “I see. No, it’s perfectly fine, we can hold a fundraiser here. I don’t know what we’ll do to draw attention for it, but we’ll do it.” There was a knock on the door. “Talk to you later, dad. Love you!” She hung up, trotting over to the door and opening it. “Yes?”

A mare fell through the doorway, almost unrecognizable due to the scorch marks all over her body. She looked up, a ghost of a smile on her lips. “ ... Dinky ... is safe ... ” The pony slowly closed her violet eyes, sighing contentedly.

Vinyl froze, her eyes wide in horror at what she’d just witnessed. “ ...Tavi?” She carefully turned her over, noticing the faintest trace of the treble clef on her friend’s flank. She hugged her close, tears falling freely. “TAVI!!”

“Stop yelling, Vinyl.” The black-covered pony rubbed an ear, frowning at her roommate. “I’m not dead. I’m just tired.” She stood up, making her way up the stairs to her room. “Wake me up when September ends.”

Vinyl just stood there, watching her friend leave the room. She felt as though her mind had just melted. She staggered over to the couch, laying down on it until the world started making sense again.

“Well that was abrupt.” A white stallion placed the phone his daughter gave her back on the dialer. He turned to the pink-maned mare nearby, smiling playfully. “I see you’re having fun there, Fleur.”

The tall, flirty mare was almost too busy to respond, rapidly pressing the buttons on her controller. She went through wave after wave of mechanical ponies, three other ponies watching her back. Taking one more glance around the playing field, she rushed over to the pegasus, shooting the bot about to stab him in the back. “Keep an eye on your six, Mystere!”

“Sorry, sorry! This is the first time I’ve played this!” He turned and shot the wall on accident. “It’s not easy playing with just hooves and feathers!”

“Noob.” The one playing as a sniper scoffed at him, peering through her scope and shooting a bot through the head. “We are ashamed thou talked us into letting thou join.” She shot three more bots before speaking again. “What kind of username is ‘enigmaMystere’, anyways?”

“What’s wrong with it? It’s not like ‘WeAreYourNightmare’ is a better one!” He smashed two bots with a bat, rushing past them as quickly as possible. “ ... okay, so it is. But still!”

“Will you two stop bickering and destroy that tank!?” A medic shouted, focusing her machine on Fleur’s character. “Prenchy, I’m about to ubercharge you. Get ready!”

Fleur rolled her eyes, turning back to the massive wave approaching. “How many times must I tell you? My username is ‘PardonMyPrench’, not ‘Prenchy’!” She began to mow down the bots, eyes narrowing slightly. “I swear, SweetestTune, you have the mind of a foal!”

“Do you want me to ubercharge you or not?”

“ ... I’ll be quiet.” She continued to shoot down the enemies, biting her lip to keep herself from completely shouting out obscenities.

“I say, Fleur, is that ‘Mystere’ fellow who I think it is?” She nodded, not even bothering to look away from the screen. “Can I borrow your headset for a bit?” Another nod, and the headset floated off her head, placing itself on the stallion’s head, instead. “Enigma, my boy, how are you doing?”

“F-Fancy Pants!?” The scout suddenly ran into a wall, he was so surprised at the voice. “What are you doing here?”

“What, a gentlecolt can’t watch his wife play a game?” He chuckled momentarily, but his voice soon took on a more serious tone. “You’re keeping my daughter happy, I hope?”

“ ... well, for the most part, yeah ... she keeps saying these odd things, and when I respond honestly to them, she ... well, she looks sad.”

“Are you dating her?” A coy smile grew on his lips.

“W-WHAT!?” The scout completely stopped moving, the user’s shock audible through the chat. “N-no! You told me not to, so I’m not! Besides, I think of her as my best friend, and I’m fairly certain she doesn’t feel that way about me!” The scout began to move again, but the movements were jerky and his timing was off. "Besides, I think she's dating that Neon Lights fellow."

Fancy gave the headset back to Fleur, walking away and shaking his head. “Poor, naive lad. Can’t tell when I’m making a joke.”

The timid yellow pegasus sat at Sugarcube Corner, wistfully staring at the picture of her crush, blushing softly. The scene was enough to cause others watching to audibly d’aww.

The tall mare sitting across from her, however, wasn’t amused. “Will you tell us who won, already?”

Fluttershy snapped out of her trance, sheepishly putting the picture away. “O-oh. Right away.” She pulled Vinyl’s phone out of her saddlebag, manipulating the touch-arcano-screen with her feathers. I sure hope she’s alright. She seemed rather shaken, earlier … Eventually she pulled the vote screen up, her eyes widening significantly at the votes. “ ... w-wow ... it’s almost unanimous ... ”

“Don’t keep us waiting.”

She shrank in her seat, hiding behind her mane. “ ... t-the Doctor won ...”

“I told you, Nightmare Moon.” The stallion spoke up from behind the pony, a disarming smile on his face. “Now, tell me something - have the inhabitants of this world broken any of your laws?” She just stared at him, her face completely expressionless. “Come on, you and your comrades likely have the whole world under surveillance. Have they broken any laws?”

The mare frowned at him, her eyes glowing white for a moment. “No.”

“Excellent. One more question, just one more.” He walked away, looking at a lamppost like it was the most interesting thing in the universe. “Is this world protected?” Images flashed through her mind - aliens, beings of different shapes, threat levels, even strategies. “You’re not the first, nor will you be the last, or even the strongest. So you have to ask ... what happened to them?”

Immediately, she saw multiple ponies, each of them different, yet, at the same time, remarkably the same. The blue unicorn mare with the toothpaste-colored mane. The top hat wearing gentlecolt from Canterlot. The clumsy yet charming pegasus from Cloudsdale who wore his scarf everywhere except the Young Flyer's Competition. It didn’t matter that their appearances were different, their drive to protect Equis was unbreakable. And that hourglass, that accursed hourglass always appeared, always stayed.

Her breath caught in her throat, her attention back on the stallion in front of her. Every inch of her body betrayed the utter horror she felt.

He smiled up at her, a twinkle in his eyes. “You already knew, but it hadn’t sunk in before, so I’ll say it again. I’m the Doctor.” He ran a hoof through his messy mane, his eyes never breaking contact with hers. “Basically? Run.”

Nightmare Moon wasted no time, turning into a cloud and racing off, leaving behind the two ponies. They stared at each other for a few moments before the Doctor awkwardly coughed. “That stallion in your picture? Bad news. You might not want to pursue a relationship with him. Especially considering Torchwood. Maybe a stallion in town, instead?” He gave her a wave, turning to leave. “I have to leave. Got a whole lot of running to do!” He raced off, leaving a confused, and somewhat hurt, Fluttershy sitting alone at the cafe.

She glanced over at the stage, where the two stone pegasi still stood. She shuddered, trying to focus on the vanilla milkshake in front of her, instead.

Enigma, after playing the game and, ultimately, defeating the last wave, decided that he should rest. He went to the spare bedroom, moving onto his bed and cuddling his white plushie. Slowly, his eyes closed and he started to drift off to sleep.

The plush was suddenly pulled away. Not bothering to open his eyes, he reached out and grabbed the closest soft mass, pulling it close. So soft and warm. He sighed, snuggling into the sea of hair. ... wait, warm?

Enigma’s eyes snapped open, and he looked down at the white unicorn up against his body. He was unsure what to think of this, but her small smile convinced him to not move away. She really does like hugs as much as I do. Why else would she do this three times or so? With that thought, he closed his eyes once more. “ ... thank you, Vi ... ” He let himself be taken away to dreamland, where he played all day with his best friend.

Vinyl cracked open an eye, seeing the pegasus’ chest rise and fall evenly. With a smile, she cuddled a little closer. “ ... soon ... I can tell you ... ” She yawned slightly, nuzzling his chest, beginning to drift off to sleep as well.

“ ... I love you, E ... ”

Thanks to gordobraveheart for helping me with ideas for this chapter! Even though he helped with that, he wasn't able to stay up and help with pre-reading. Since I don't know anyone who's up this late, this wasn't really pre-read...hope all the references are understandable.[/olive]

The Doctor won, though I haven’t taken the time to count the exact votes yet. Needless to say, it was a landslide victory, one where you could count the votes for Nightmare Moon on one hand.

This is the last call for the bonus chapter. I want to make sure your characters are in character, so I want you to do a little collab with your character in the GDoc. If you do not do this, you might not get to be in the bonus chapter! Which is the next chapter. So, yeah, PM me so I can make sure you aren't missed, mkay?

I hope you enjoy the bit of VinylxEnigma in this chapter!

Yes, I realize I used the ‘Atraxi speech’ almost verbatim, but, honestly, it seemed appropriate to me. And, as of this chapter, I have established just who the pony ‘Shy is/was crushing on. And yes, I count Colgate/Minuette/Romana as one of the Doctors.

Random GIF of adorableness!

SHE'S SO CUTE, I CAN'T TAKE IT!!! ...yet I can't take my eyes off her... Sadly, I'll have to. I need to make a video for my persuasive speech, which is due Tuesday... ...wish me luck.

Have a nice day, and I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving!

Enigma out.~

Rap Battle #23

Apple Bloom stood on the train station platform, almost dancing in excitement. “Ah can’t wait! He'll be here any minute, now!”

Fluttershy sat next to her, slightly worried. “Are you sure he didn’t arrive earlier?”

“Absolutely!” The filly pointed down the tracks, smiling. “See, there it is, now!”

Sure enough, the train from Appleoosa pulled into the station. The door slid open, revealing a yellow stallion, pulling his Stetson down to hide his eyes from the setting sun. He stepped onto the platform, stumbling slightly as a blue-maned pony brushed past. He spotted his cousin, grinning brightly. “Well, howdy, Apple Bloom!”

The young pony rushed forward, happily hugging her cousin. “Braeburn! How was the ride? Did you and Little Strongheart enjoy yer trip?”

The vested pony nodded, never losing his grin. “Yep! We had a great time on our honeymoon! An’ when we returned, her father gave me somethin’ special!” He set down his saddlebag, sifting through it briefly. He pulled away, confused. “Ah could’ve sworn Ah had it in here...” He jolted, glancing around the station, a wild look on his face. “Where’d he go?”

The timid mare tilted her head at him, confused. “...who? That pegasus?”

“Yeah, him!” He held a hoof up to his head, trying to concentrate. “Let’s see...he had sky-blue fur...dark blue hair...green eyes, I think...”

Fluttershy blinked, surprised at this. “...that sounds like Rarity’s boyfriend...wait!” She called after him, nervous. “Just because he looks like him doesn’t mean it was him!” She flew in pursuit, worried something bad could happen.

The two best friends sat underneath the gazebo, eating the sandwiches that the dark red pegasus had brought with him. Between them sat a pitcher of lemonade, untouched.

Vinyl glanced over at the stallion next to her, her cheeks starting to turn rosy. She turned her gaze to the petals falling around them, feeling herself relax from the sight. ...who knew falling apple blossoms could create such beauty?

“...Vi.”

Her head snapped towards him, catching the nervousness on his face. ...oh, please let this be what I think it is... “Y-yes, E?” She pushed her shades up a bit, hoping to hide the pleading look in her eyes.

He sighed, visibly bracing himself for what he was about to say. “...a-are you...still dating Neon?”

Vinyl’s heart plummeted. ...oh, buck... “...why do you ask?”

Enigma groaned, resting his head on his hooves. “...I guess that’s a yes.”

“No!” She grimaced, seeing the stallion jump in surprise from her outburst. “I-I mean, no, I’m not dating him...a-anymore...”

To her surprise, a small frown crossed his face. “...did he...” He gulped, feeling as though he was choking on his words. “...did he treat you well, Vi?”

She felt a tightness in her chest, knowing that she’d made a mistake. ...I never dated him... “...yes, he did...” She flinched at her own words, shocked that she said them.

He sighed, looking out over the park. “...I’m glad...if you ever need someone to lean on...” He wrapped a wing around her, a small, sad smile on his face. “...I’ll be here...”

Vinyl nodded, resting her head on his shoulder. “Thank you, E.” She appeared calm, joining him in silence and cuddling close in his embrace. Inside, however, she was furiously pounding her hooves against her head. Idiot! Because of your stupid lie, you’ll look like...like you’re trying to rebound onto him! You’re so stupid!! She sighed, resigning herself to watch the sunset. ...now you have to wait even longer to get him...

Enigma, on the other hoof, felt like someone had stabbed a knife in his belly. ...I can’t ask her my actual question...it’d be taking advantage of her emotional state...

They sat in silence, watching as the sun disappeared behind the horizon, marking the end of another day and another opportunity lost.

Fluttershy found herself behind the turntables, confused. In front of her, the two stallions were glaring at each other. “...oh my...why did Braeburn have to insult Soarin’?” She sighed, looking over at Enigma next to her. “...you’re absolutely sure Vinyl can’t do this?”

The dark red pegasus sighed, shaking his head. “...she said she needed to be alone, right now...”

The timid mare sighed, looking out over the crowd gathered. “...you can do this...you are Glaze...” Taking a deep, steadying breath, she turned on her microphone, starting up the music.

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP

VS.

BEGIN!

Oh snap, look what Applejack dragged back from the boondocks
Her cousin Braeburn, everypony thinks he likes to spoon cocks
You act all giddy and happy, bouncing around the room
Think you’re slick? EVERYpony knows that you’re on shrooms
Rap against you? That doesn’t freaking scare me at all
Wouldn’t even understand you with that Southern Drawl
I promise to rap with respect, class, and free of any ire
Cuz I’m a celebrity, I can fly, AND I fucked Spitfire.

Ah have ta say, yer a tough act to beat, gent.
‘Course, yer too dense ta catch sarcasm with mah accent.
Ya claim ta’ve made love ta Spitfire, ya foal?
We both know she’s far out a’ yer league, troll.
Ah’m happy ‘cause I’m blessed to have a wife.
You’d be lucky ta have a life free from strife!
You’ve never had mares, just mah fam’ly’s pies.
Ah betcha stay up all night just ta cry!

Woah woah woah, dude. Talking about mares? Let’s take a step back
I’m with the fairest pony in Equestria, the best you could do is Applejack
I’m in perfect physical shape, known around the world, I attract regality
Sweet Celestia, your mare doesn’t even HAVE a personality!
I could have every Pegasus from here to Canterlot under my wing
Go back to Appaloosa you losa, buck a fuckin tree or something.
Your pastries are a waste of time, they make my stomach churn.
Just like your shitty pies, you just got Brae-BURNED!

Oh, how original, usin’ mah name ‘gainst me.
You say pies’re awful, but gulp them down greed’ly.
There’s no way ya come close ta bein’ fit, Soarin’.
Ah’m in better shape than you, Mister Borin’!
So ya think ya got the moves like Jagger?
Get real, dolt! Yer clearly lackin’ any swagger.
Just ‘cause yer in the army don’t mean ya hafta curse.
If yer mare hears, she’ll be blueballin’ ya worse.

WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!

In an undisclosed location, a sky-blue pegasus was placing a dreamcatcher into a chest. He grumbled, looking over at the pitch-black unicorn behind him. “I still have no idea what the point of taking these objects is.”

“You’ll find out soon enough.” The charcoal stallion grinned, his fangs gleaming in the little light there was. “You did well...Chrysalis.”

The blue pony rolled his eyes, green flickering momentarily in them. “I’m not on a first-name basis with you, foal.” He flew out, heading out to his next objective.

Author's Note

...these characters were unbelievably hard to write for. :fluttershysad: Thanks to Noah (from the FIMFic user ‘Antisocial Ind.’, which is apparently a joint account) for helping me with the rap battles. :twilightsmile: Without his help, I doubt this rap battle would’ve been finished. :twilightblush:

Anyways, I decided that I should start the New Year with a new Epic Rap Battle of MLP! :pinkiehappy: How many of you agree? :duck:

...of course, these chapters are gonna take a little while longer between them... :ajsleepy: ...I don't wanna lose interest in this story, like so many of my other ones... :fluttercry:

...no more tears, now. :pinkiesad2: Now is the time for celebration! As I publish this, it's now 2013! :pinkiehappy: ...well, somewhere in the world, anyways. :derpytongue2: Oh, and on a separate note, I tried to make a comment-video-thingy for 'Spike at Your Service'. Sadly, I couldn't figure out how to do so. :applejackunsure: How does one do the audio-overlay thingy?

...I use 'thingy' too often. :rainbowlaugh: Now, off to play games while I take a short break from writing! :rainbowdetermined2: ...after watching 'Despicable Me' with my little sister. :scootangel:

Have a nice day, and a Happy New Year!

Enigma out.~