The Monster Within

by Serious

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Human, Tirek, Original Character
Length: 4496

I am not a normal person... I have two personalities, one of thenn is when I'm normal, when I'm nice... the other one, is when my mentality snaps, I go from a nice carefree person, into a mass murderer... a killing machine that can't be stopped.

I am not a normal person... I have two personalities, one of them is when I'm normal, when I'm nice... the other one, is when my mentality snaps, I go from a nice, carefree person, into a mass murderer... a killing machine that can't be stopped. So when I get transferred to a world of cute little ponies... I try to control my other side, but he is desperate to get out... but I don't wanna hurt the ponies here. P.S. My spanish is not on point, so it may not be 100% correct, and yes this is a Jeff the Killer story as well.

Published 2015-05-22 18:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-05 05:52:32 UTC

Meeting Royalty

Meeting Royalty

I woke up in the middle of the forest... I didn't know how or why, but I was. I decided to explore and see if I could find a way out. After about fifteen minutes I found a pond... I looked into it to see my jacket was bloody, a knife was sticking out of my pocket, and I had some scars.. "What the hell happened last night?" I asked aloud, I then heard some bushes move, I turned around and saw nothing. "W-Who's there? Show yourself." I demanded... no response. "... I fucking hate forest's." I then heard something move again. "Who's there? I-I don't want any trouble... hello." I said still nothing, just then I caught a glimpse of a hat. "Hello." I said, hoping for a response... nothing. I then decided it was time it was time to leave... I then heard a voice.

"What was that thing?" I heard it say. I turned around.

"Hello." I said, nothing. I turned back around and started to walk again. "I'm probably just hearing things."

*Ten minutes later*

I had finally made it out... I felt free as I exited the forest, I then a village. "Maybe they can help me figure out where I am." I said to myself, then I heard a voice in my head 'kill them... you know you want to' it said. "NO!" I shouted, "No more, I-I won't let you out." I said, it spoke again. 'Hah hah hah, you think you have a choice... classic Davey' "SH-SHUT UP!!" I yelled to the voice. 'I will escape... sooner or later' it said. "No... no no no NO!" I yelled. I started to calm myself down. "Ok... ok, no need to worry, he can't escape... yet." I said and headed to the village. When I got to the village all I saw were ponies, in houses, in the streets, everywhere. "W-What the hell." I managed to say, and as soon as I said this they all stopped and looked at me... with fearful eyes, they didn't stop looking at me so I decided to say something. "Uh, hi." They began to back away... slowly. 'Do they know what I did... what I am?" I asked myself. I then looked down, my jacket. "Shit." I managed to say. Just then I felt something poking me, I turned around... a baby pony was punching me... it kinda tickled, I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Hey what's so funny, I'm beating you up." They pony said.

"What the? You can talk?" I asked.

"Well duh." It said, I then came to a conclusion.

"I-I'm dreaming... I have to be." I said, aloud.

"Uh no you're not." The pony said.

"That's exactly what someone in a dream would say." I said. "Plus, I'm having a conversation with a baby pony."

"Hey, I'm not a baby." She said.

"How's the cute lil' baby?" I asked jokingly.

"I'm going to... to-" I cut her off.

"Tickle me to death?" I asked, she started to growl.

"You shouldn't picking on little kids." A pony said.

"Huh?" I asked. "I'm not bullying... I'm teasing, totally different."

"Calling him baby, laughing at him, yeah sure that's teasing." She said.

"Mind if I ask who you are." I said.

"I'm am Twilight Sparkle... but who and what in Equestria are you?" Twilight asked.

"I'm a human... idiot, and my names Dave, Dave Alatorre." I said.

"That's an... odd name." She said.

"Twilight Sparkle..." I said. "Yep, normal as can be."

"Anyways, I came here for a complaint... somepony had blood on their clothes, and a knife." She said, looking at me. "What did you do?"

"I have no fucking clue." I said, chuckling in the middle.

"Well... I'm sorry but I'm going to have to take you in, until we find there is no evidence that you didn't kill anypony." She said, getting serious.

"Well I would, but first." I said grabbing a vanishing ball firework. "MAGIC!" I shouted, throwing it on the ground, I quickly climbed onto a nearby tree. When the smoke vanished I yelled. "HUZZAH!!" They all looked at me, and I ran off.

"GET HIM!!" I heard Twilight yell.

After about five minutes I was in a corner. "Maldita sea la madre puta mierda" I said.

"What?" Someone/pony asked.

"Fuck you that's what." I said, Just then I saw a blinding light, come at me followed by the words.

"Night, night."

I woke up in a cell looking area... it was pretty camped and small, but I guess it was for small ponies. I checked my pocket... I still had my knife. "Are they fucking stupid?" I asked myself. 'Heeey, still don't want to kill them?' a voice in my head asked. "Not now Jeff." I said. 'Oh, come on, you don't want to kill them... but it technically isn't you... it's me who does all the work' He said... but he did have a point "W-Well, I gues-" He cut me off 'Then let me out, I get to kill, you conscience will be intact, and we all live happily ever after, when they're all dead' I was about to let him free, until I got a grip on myself. "NO, my conscience won't be intact, it will know that I let you out and that you killed all of them... so then it'll all be my fault, so no." I said. 'I WILL GET OUT, AND WHEN I DO NO ONE WILL BE SAFE!!' HE yelled, then left me alone again. Just then a pony in armour came.

"Celestia will see you now." He said.

"Okie Dokie." I said, with a smile plastered on my face.

When we got into the "Throne Room" I saw , a normal sized pony (from what I've seen), a dark medium sized pony, and a tall white one. But they were different, they had horns, and wings... and the normal sized one looked like she was made of crystals.

"Speak you name." Said that dark one.

"You first." I said.

"THOU WILL SPEAK THOU NAME AND RESPECT US!!!" She shouted.

"FUCK, can you speak quieter next time, Estúpido de mierda puta." I said.

"Fine, now let us try that again, ahem, speak your name... and what language was that?" She asked, 'Bitch doesn't know spanish' I thought 'Free pass to say what I want'

"My name is Dave Alatorre, and it was spanish, perra." I said 'This is fun' I thought just then.

"Hablo español , así, y me enteré de lo que han estado diciendo a la Princesa Luna." Said the crystal one, with a smirk.

"Hmpt, Camino a tomar la diversión fuera de él." I said, crossing my arms. "Pero debo admitir que, estoy impresionado con su conocimiento."

"Candace, you understand him?" Asked the white one.

"Yes." She answered.

"Hah , sólo porque no puedo lío con usted, no quiere decir que no puede meterse con ellos." I said smiling.

"No si puedo evitarlo." She said.

"This is actually fun." I said, she giggled.

"It is huh." She said.

"Well not for us, we don't know what you are saying." The dark one said

"Vamos a mantenerlo de esa manera." I said, smiling.

"I demand that we us-" I cut her off.

"Fine... I'll use english." I said.

"Thank you." She said

"Ahora, ¿qué te trae por aquí?" Asked Cadence, Luna glared a her. "Only he agreed to it."

"You must to." She said.

"Fine." She said.

"Oh, and to answer that question... I have no clue." I said.

"You don't know why your here?" She asked. "That doesn't make sence."

"Oh trust me... my whole life doesn't make sence." I said, starting to lose my smile. "You can keep secrets right?"

"Uhh, sure." Said the tall one.

"Ok... well.." I then began to tell them everything about me... especially about Jeff.

Spanish to English translations in order from first to last:

"Maldita sea la madre puta mierda" = "Damn fucking shit"

"Estúpido de mierda puta" = "Stupid shit"

"Perra" = "Bitch"

"Hablo español , así, y me enteré de lo que han estado diciendo a la Princesa Luna" = "I speak Spanish as well, and I know what you have been calling Princess Luna."

"Hmpt, Camino a tomar la diversión fuera de él" = "Hmpt, way to take the fun out of it."

"Pero debo admitir que, estoy impresionado con su conocimiento." = "But I must admit. I'm impressed with your knowledge."

"Hah, sólo porque no puedo lío con usted, no quiere decir que no puede meterse con ellos." = "Hah, just because I can't mess with you, doesn't mean I can't mess with them."

"No si puedo evitarlo." = "Not if I can help it."

"Vamos a mantenerlo de esa manera." = "Let's keep it that way."

"Ahora, ¿qué te trae por aquí?" = "Now, what brings you here?"

Terms To Stay

"And yeah, that's pretty much it." I said after I was done telling them everything.

"So you have "another side" to you?" Asked the dark one.

"Yes." I said.

"And he kills... for fun?" Candace asked.

"Yes." I said.

"And that he only comes out when, somepony angers you?" Asked the white one.

"No no, when my mentality snaps... when I'm not sane, when I start to act crazy." I said.

"Then why would you do that?" Asked Candace. "Why would you act crazy?"

"Because, well... you try having someone in your head repeating "kill them" over and over, and not go insane, then we can talk." I said.

"Wait he speaks to you?" Asked the tall one.

"Yea, just because he's not out, doesn't mean he's not awake." I said.

"And he makes you go insane?" Asked the dark one.

"Yes... oh, one more thing." I said.

"What is it, Alatorre?" Asked the tall one.

"I can also let him out if I wanted to... but the situation would have to be pretty crazy, if I wanted to even consider that." I said. 'Do it, show them' Said a voice. "Shut it Jeff." I said. "Sorry."

"Hmm, have you even tried to get cured." Asked Candace.

"Well... no, just because he keeps me alive, makes me immortal." I said. "As long as he's here I cannot die."

"But isn't it better to have him gone than to live forever?" asked Candace.

"It may be mostly a curse... but a little bit of it's a gift." I said, putting on a fake smile.

"Well... ok, but if you plan on staying here we are going to put some ground rules." The the tell one.

"Okay, lay em' on me." I said.

"First, if you are to stay here you are to live away from everypony." She said.

"Understandable." I said.

"Second, you must try to contain your "mentality", if this Jeff is as dangerous as you say he is." She said.

"Ok." I said.

"Third, you must speak to my student, she will help you find a house to live in, her name is Twilight Sparkle." She said.

"Wait... Twilight, about this tall, purple, has a horn... quick to judge people?" I asked.

"You have meet her?" She asked.

"Yeah, ella es una mocosa estúpida." I said.

"What did you call Twilight?" asked Candace, standing on her hooves.

"Nothing." I said.

"Thought so." She said, sitting back down.

"So do you agree to our terms?" Asked the tall one.

"Sure." I said.

"Then it is settled, now quickly go back to Ponyville and speak to Twilight." She ordered.

"On it." I said and left. "One more thing."

"What?" Asked the dark one.

My smile grew bigger and bigger. "Tomé algunas de sus monedas de oro , espero ya no les importa."

"Wait you took what?" Asked Candace, but I was already gone.

"Ahhhhhhhhh Ya ya yaaaah Ya ya yaaah Yaaah ya yah Ohohohohoooo Oh ya yaaah Ya ya yaaah Yaaah ya yah" I sang the Troll song all the way back to "Ponyville" until it hit me. "I have no clue where in at or where to go."

*Seven hours later*

"SEVEN FUCKING HOURS... AND I'VE BARELY MADE IT TO THIS GOD FOR SAKEN PLACE!!!!!!" I yelled as I walked into town. "At least I can now enjoy some peace and quiet. 'That's it, I'm going to get out of here... NOW!' Jeff shouted. "Yeah, sure Jeff, how ya' going to do that?" I asked him. 'Simple, I'm going to tell you the truth... what everyone really thought of you', he said "Huh?" Was all I could say before he started.

Jeff Escapes

'You know mother always hated you, same with our father' He began. "Oh hell NO!" I shouted. 'Everyone thought you were stupid, they all thought I was your only friend' he continued. "NONONONONO!" I screamed. 'Come on we both hate Twilight, she hates us... just one kill is all I asked' he said. "GRRRAAAAHHH!!" I yelled, I could feel him escaping. Then a yellow pegasus came up to me, I saw the crowd.

"S-Sir are yo-" I cut her off.

"RUN!!" I yelled. "RUN OR DIE!" She ran off crying. 'Come on Davey, kill them, kill them.' He said. "NO!!" I yelled. 'It's not like anyone liked you before right' He said. "NO NO NO NO NO!" I yelled. "FUCK OFF JEFF!!!" Then Twilight came up.

"Hey, why did you make Flut-" I cut her off.

"RUN, HE HATES YOU THE MOST, YOU'LL BE HIS PRIMARY TARGET IF HE ESCAPES!!!!" I yelled.

"W-What?" She questioned.

"LEAVE BEFORE I CUT YOU BITCH!!!" I shouted in Jeff's voice.

"Hey don't call me that." She demanded.

"GRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" I screamed. 'Come on, let me free, I'll make short work of the bitch, heh, she does remind me to much of our mother' he said calmly. "GRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" I scream again... Jeff did it, he was free. "HAH HAH HAH, I'm free, I will kill everything, nothing will get in my way." He said, grabbing his knife. "Now time to gut the pig."

"W-What happened to you... you face, it changed." Twilight said.

"Oh, you're such a idiot, you should have left when Davey said to, because now... not even your Princess Celestia can save you." He said.

"Get away from her." Said a voice.

"How adorable... and who might be this hero, speaking?" I asked.

"It's Rainbow Dash, and no one, touches my friends." She said.

"Watch me." I said, and began to dig my knife into her.

"TWILIGHT!!" She screamed, as she hit me.

"HAH HAH HAH, that tickles." I said, it really did.

"What are you?" She asked.

"Oh, Rainbow Dash... it's not what I am... it's who I am." I said.

"Then who are you?" She asked.

"His names Dave." Twilight coughed.

"Oh no no no, Twilight... Davey was holding back, keeping me away from killing... but heh, I'm not Davey, I'm Jeff, Jeff the Killer is what most people call me but, whatever.

"Y-You're crazy." She said.

"Oh no, I'm not crazy... I'm insane." I said and charged at her.

"Oh no ya' don't." said a farmers accent, kicking me in the face.

"That was my strongest buck... that should kee-" I cut her off

"Hahahaha, if you were smart, you would know that I laugh at pain." I said getting up, easily.

"H-How?" She questioned.

"Like this." I then stabbed myself, only to laugh. "S-See... hahaha... you turn." I said, I then ran behind her, and stabbed her in the back.

"APPLEJACK!" I heard them yell.

"Oh, so it's Applejack... heh." I said, she was crying in pain. "Shhh, go to sleep." I said and was about to deliver the final blow, but again was hit by Rainbow. "Rainbow Dash... I'm going to slit your throat." I said getting up.

"How are we supposed to stop him, he just gets up like it was nothing... Twilight?" Rainbow asked,only to see Twilight holding a letter sent from Celestia, and that Twilight was shaking. "Twilight what's wrong?"

"He... he can't be stopped." She said. "Were all doomed."

"W-What... nononono, there has to be a way, everyone has a weakness." Rainbow said. "He should have one too right?"

"Oh, that's a good one Rainbow... but unfortunately, not even Davey could find any weaknesses." I said laughing. "And the only one that was even close, ha ha you're going to get a kick out of this, was our father... b-but here's the funny part, hah, I killed him, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"You what?" She asked.

"I killed Davey's father, HAHAHAHAAA, never gets old." I said.

"Twilight we need to leave, go to canterlot, somewhere other than here." Rainbow said looking at me.

"Oh, yes lets play Hide n' Seek... alright I'm it, I'll count to one hundred, and you hide, here I'll close my eyes... 1." I said, beginning to count.

"Come on Twilight hurry on the train, we can get there faster, can you help me with AJ?" She asked.

"Y-Yeah, we need to hurry though, come on." Twilight said, grabbing AJ

"8... 9... 10" I continued to count.

"Pinkie come on." Twilight said dragging Pinkie onto the train.

"But I have to throw him a party." Pinkie said.

"No Pinkie, he's a killer, he'll kill you." Rainbow said.

"Nu uh, he said that Twilight is Jeff's primary target." Pinkie corrected.

"Yeah, primary target, but not his only target, he also said he would kill everypony too." Twilight said.

"Fine, but I'm going to throw him the Surprise Party of his life when we get back." She said going into the train.

Jeff vs. Shining Armour

"100! Alright ready or not... HERE I COME!" I yelled, uncovering my eyes. "Heh heh, come out come out, wherever you are."

*Meanwhile in Canterlot*

"Twilight are you sure you're alright?" Asked Shining Armour.

"Yes, I'm fine... we just need to worry about Jeff." Twilight answered.

"What are we supposed to do Twilight, everytime we hit him, he gets up like it was nothing and just laughs?" Asked Rainbow Dash.

"I'll take care of him." Said Shining.

"Are ya' sure bout this?" Asked Aj.

"Yes, he's threatened my sister, almost took three of the elements lives... he must be stopped." Sining said. "Plus, how strong can he be? Well see you girls later."

"Do you really think he can do it Twi'? Asked Aj, as Shining Armour left.

"Yes... I believe in him." Twilight said.

*Ponyville*

"Alright, were the fuck ARE YOU!!" I screamed out, looking for Twilight. "I swear I will gut you like a fish when I find you... I will then proceed to eat you and make sure you have the most painful death imaginable."

"Do you care to repeat that you son of a bitch." A voice rang out, when I turned around, I saw some sort of spell come straight at my face. "Hmpt... that was e-"

"That was good." I interrupted, getting up. "Got another one in ya."

"Gross." He said. "Anyways, you dare threaten my sister like that?"

"Ohh God, this is priceless, you came here thinking you can kill me." I mocked. "But I got new for ya, BUDDY!" I started to get closer. "I... CAN'T... DIE!!!" I yelled. "Ya know... instead of killing Twilight, I can just kill you instead."

"Hmpt, that won't be necessary, for I will defeat you." He said.

"...*snicker* heh... heh, hahahahhahahaHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!" I laughed." Oh man, you are so fucking funny." I then charged at him. "To bad you have to DIE!"

He hit me with another spell. "Get away."

"Nah, I think I'll get up, close, and... personal." I said slyly.

"Stop it." He said shooting another one.

"Oh come on, I thought you were faster than this, stronger than this." I taunted, keeping my sly voice.

"Stop it!" He shouted.

"Now come here so I can enter you with my nice, clean, shar-" He interrupted.

"STOP! IT!" He said. "Everything you say... it just sounds so... so... s-" I cut he off.

"Delightful?" I asked.

"STOP IT!" He shouted shooting me.

"But why should I." I said. "I'm just getting started." I then stabbed him in the back leg.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" He yelled in pain. "Y-You bastard."

"Oh, was that your leg, I'm sorry." I said. "I was aiming for your head."

"F...Fuck o-off." He said. "My death w-will not be in v-vain."

"Ohh." I said. "But it will, now got to sleep." I then started to stab him continuously, until I saw his heart, I reached for it pulling it out from his insides, I then squashed it in my hand. I then began to sing as I left him there, his organs falling out of the side of his stomach. ♫Baby I told you from the star, baby from the start, I'm only gonna break break, break break break, your heart♫ My voice trailed off as I went into a random direction... 'Hopefully the right direction' I thought.

Jeff Makes Friends?

I found myself in a nearby forest, I needed to be alone, try to calm down, I started to regain control, just need to stay away from everyone/pony.

"Howdy." A voice said.

'OH MY GOD!' I thought, I looked down to see three little ponies. 'NO NO NO NO!' "Hello... children."

"Hello mister, were you that man who we saw earlier in the forest?" The white one asked.

"Ohh, so that was you, how... interesting." Jeff said. "Ya know, I don't like being watched." He said drawing his knife.

"Oh, sorry bout that." Said one with a southern accent. "We just never seen anything like ya' so we weren't sure I you were dangerous."

Jeff took offence to this. "YOU DON'T THINK I'M DANGEROUS!!" He yelled. "I KILL THINGS, I KILL WHATEVER I WANT TO KILL, I'M THE MOST DANGEROUS THING IN THIS PLACE!!!"

"Well, we don't think so." Said a orange one.

"WHAT!" He shouted.

"Well if you're so dangerous, and like to kill, why didn't ya' kill us already?" Asked the farmer.

"Because, I like to scare my victims before I kill them." He said drawing closer and closer to them.

*Canterlot*

"Oh no." Aj said.

"What is it?" Asked Fluttershy.

"Apple Bloom is still at the Everfree Forest, with her friends." She said.

"Sweetie Bell." Rarity said.

"Scootaloo." Rainbow said.

"We have to go." Said Twilight.

*Back at the Forest.*

"Finally, I got you little FUCKERS right were I want ya, now it's time to go to sleep." I said, as I closed in one the three, backed into a corner, I was about to kill them, knife raised and everything... but stopped. "W-What?" They all looked up confused.

"A-Aren't you gonna k-kill use?" Asked the farmer.

"Y-YES, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU, RIGHT NOW!!!!!" I raised the knife again, but stopped. "Why can't I kill you?"

"Huh?" Said the orange one." Hah, see you're not going to hurt use, you were just playing."

"NO I WILL KILL YOU!!" I screamed, raising it again, nothing.

"Stop playing around, lets head back to Ponyville." Said the southerner, grabbing my hand and dragging me with her.

'Ohhh, how adorable Jeff, you made little pony friends' I mocked to Jeff. "I hate you."

*Twilights POV*

"Ok girls split up we gotta find Jeff and save the gi-" Pinkie cut me off.

"Oh look Jeff is with them right now." She said, everyone looked over to were she was pointing and she was right.

"JUST MAKE A DAMN CHOICE ALREADY!" Jeff yelled angrily.

"Potty mouth." Sweetie Bell said in a singing tune, Jeff just face palmed.

"This is the worst kind of hell... I could ever imagine." He said.

"He... isn't doing anything." I said, amazed.

"Does this mean I can throw him a party?" Asked Pinkie.

"I-I guess." I said.

"Oh this one looks pretty, and Sweetie Bell, ya' sure your sister won't mind?" Asked Apple Bloom.

"Yea, I'm sure she'll understand." She said.

"I... really wish I could kill myself... like right now." Jeff said annoyed. "Seriously, just pick something, so we can go."

"Hey... Jeff was it?" asked Scootaloo.

"Yes."

"How old are you?" She asked.

"Twenty two." Jeff answered. "Why do ya ask?"

"Just wondering." She said.

"So... what do we do?" asked Rainbow.

"I... I don't know." I answered. "Celestia told me that Dave said Jeff is a unstoppable force, with unimaginable power, no one can stop him, but here we see the Crusaders treating him like he's not a threat."

"APPLEJACK!" I heard one of them yell.

"Oh my GOD!" Jeff shouted. "Not you again."

"RARITY!" Sweetie Bell yelled.

"Who?" He asked, he looked in shock as he connected on thing with another.

"How ya' doing lil' sis?" Aj asked Apple Bloom.

"So, Jeff." Twilight said getting closer. "I see you made some friends."

"Hate you." Jeff said. "Hate you all."

"This is Jeff?" Fluttershy asked. "He doesn't seem that dangerous."

"Oh no... no no NO!" He yelled getting everyone's attention. "I am Jeff the KILLER, and I will not be lowered to a f-" Before he could finish, Fluttershy started to rub her head against his leg, he looked at everyone.

"Awwwwww." They all said.

*Jeff/Dave POV*

"Fuck... you... all." I said walking to a nearby bench, just to be followed by Fluttershy, when I sat down, she jumped onto his legs, then curled up and started to sleep. "I have made a terrible mistake."

"How cute." Rarity said,I just flipped her off, I was done talking.

'Hey Jeff, guess what?' I said, coming up with a plan. "What is it Davey." He answered, 'Look you don't want to be out anymore, and I do, soooo' I said hopefully. "... Fine you can have this worthless body back Dave." He said, we then began to trade places, my skin turned back to normal, my mouth turned back to normal, everything was right.

"Huh what happened?" Asked Twilight.

"Hola chicas, ha sido un tiempo." I said, they gave a confused look. "Right, translating: hello girls, it has been a while."

"Dave?" Twilight asked.

"The one and only." I said. "Rarity, could you get me some new clothes?" I asked. "Mine are a bit... bloody, what the hell did you do Jeff?"

"R-Right, I get on it." Rarity said.

"Thanks." I said, smiling.

"So... what happened? Where is Jeff?" Asked Twilight.

"Right where he should be." I said pointing at my head. "No so tough now are ya Jeffery?" I asked, 'Just shut up... and nick names are my thing' he said.

"So, he's gone?" She asked.

"Yes... for now." I answered.

Jeff Meets Chrysalis

*Three hours later*

I walk around whistling a tune to myself. "... Aaaand I'm bored." I plop onto the ground. 'You knoooow we could always go an-' I cut him off. "Lemme guess... and kill everything in sight?" '.... maybe....' "Hah- NO!" I continued my walk completely lost. "... Wait... Where am I?" I asked looking around. 'Wait... you're lost?.... HAHAHAHA DUMB ASS!!!'