The Tears Behind Her Smile
~
Cadance watched her husband's chest rise and fall steadily as he slept soundly after a hard day at work. She had been married to Shinning Armor for little more than a year and her love for him grew every day. But with that growing love came a sense of increasing sorrow. As she lay in bed watching him, her mind drifted to the reasons for her sadness. As she thought, the emotion grew until she could no longer handle it. She rose quickly out of bed and headed towards the door.
“Where are you going at this late hour my love?”
Cadance stopped. Apparently in her haste to leave she had woken Shining. Turning to face him she raked her mind for an excuse.
“I need to talk to Celestia about a future event.” She said with a smile. At least she wasn’t lying.
Shining Armor sat up. “What kind of future event?”
“It's a...” She was a terrible liar. “It's a girl thing.”
He seemed to have been convinced though.
“A girl thing eh?” He chuckled and laid back down. “Then forget I asked dear. Have fun doing whatever you are going to do.”
“I will,” she replied sweetly. “Goodbye, I will be back shortly.”
“Goodbye my love,” Shining replied as Cadance walked out.
The Canterlot streets were mostly empty as she trotted toward the palace. The occasional pony would say hello and Cadance would reply but she never slowed her pace. When she reached the wide doors to the palace she stopped.
“Hello Princess Mi Amore Cadenza,” a pegasus guard said pleasantly. “How are you and Captain Shining Armor doing?”
“We are doing well,” she laughed. “how many time do I have to tell you, Lieutenant Rampart, call me Cadance.”
“Very well Princess Cadance,” Rampart smiled as he opened the door for her.
“Do you know if Celestia is awake?” She asked while walking past.
“Usually not at this hour. But I know Princess Luna will be.”
Cadance loved the younger of the princess sisters but she didn’t feel comfortable discussing her issues with anypony other than Celestia.
“Thank you Rampart and have a nice night.”
“You too Princess Cadance,” he replied as the door closed behind her.
She didn't waste time heading up to Celestia's chambers. Two unicorn guards stood outside of her door.
“Is the Princess awake?”
“We don't know,” one of them replied. “You can knock if you want to. You are liked enough by the Princess to get away with waking her up.”
Cadance tapped her hoof on the artfully crafted door and waited for an answer. She was overjoyed when she got a response.
“You may enter,” Celestia's pleasant voice called through the door.
She pushed the door open and walk in. Celestia was standing by the window admiring her sisters starry artwork. She turned and smiled as Cadance entered.
“After all of these years I can never get over the beauty of the night sky.” Celestia noticed the pain in Cadance's eyes. “What is troubling you?”
“I- I need to see it,” she replied pleadingly.
Celestia immediately know what she was asking for.
“You know if I show you there is a chance that your sorrow will increase even more?”
“I know, but I need to see what is going to happen.” Cadance looked down at her hooves in shame.
Celestia could see that the pain was about to spill over. This was not the first time Cadance had asked to see what her future held but last time Celestia had declined.
“I will show you,” the eldest princess said slowly. “But you must remember that what you see can change. The future is not written in stone.”
Celestia motioned for her to follow and they made their way into a side room with a gold bowl filled with what appeared to be liquid sunlight on table the middle. The elder princess made her way to the opposite side of the table and faced cadence.
“Look into the light and your questions and fears will be answered. But it will be painful.”
Cadance stepped forward and peered into the bright light. Celestia touched the liquid with the tip of her horn and the light grew even brighter. Her eyes started to water in pain but she found herself unable to look away as the first image took shape and played out before her. More tears started to form but this time not from the light.
~
The black dress she was wearing rustled in the warm summer wind as Cadance watched the coffin drop deeper and deeper into the ground. An honorable funeral for a honorable and much loved stallion. Her children stood beside her, silently watching the solemn spectacle. Her eldest son, Silver Shield, stood at attention in his clean uniform. He would be taking his father's place at the head of the royal guard and already he was showing just as much potential, if not more, as his father. Two younger mares, the twins River Dancer and Lovely Water wiped away the occasional tear. The youngest of her children, a young mare named Whisper Willow couldn’t bring herself to watch her father be lowered down.
When the faint thud of the coffin landing on the bottom reached her ears Cadance couldn’t hold the tears in any longer. As Cadance openly wept and her children tried to comfort her a middle-aged purple unicorn walked up to them.
“Hello Aunt Twilight,” Whisper Willow greeted sadly.
“Hello Whisper,” Twilight replied, eyes full of tears.
Cadance lifted her face and forced a sad smile. She had barely aged a day unlike her lifelong friend.
“Hello.” Cadance pulled Twilight into a gentle hug. “How are you fairing?”
“As well as one could be after you loose two loved ones in a month,” Twilight sighed, wiping away her eyes.
“I am sorry we couldn’t have made it to Spikes farewell party. He grew up so quickly.”
“It's okay,” Twilight replied. “Shining was ill and I didn't want him to be away from Canterlot's doctors.”
Celestia approached them, no tears where in her eyes but the sorrow was plainly visible.
“Do either of you want to say anything?” The Princess asked.
“Goodbye my BBBFF,” Twilight called to her brother.
“Farewell my love,” Cadance cried.
~
The image faded and several tears fell into the sunlight. Cadance cried continuously as she watched each of her children, Twilight and her friends die. She was grateful that all of them passed peacefully. As everypony died she continued to remain the same. Barely a day's aging could be seen on her. As another scene started Cadance shuddered.
~
Cadance watched the light pink unicorn pass under her window in one of the new automobiles that were recently put in production at the old Flim Flam factory in Manehattan. Little did that pony know but she was the direct descendant of her and Shining Armor. Occasionally Cadance would see a pony that was kin to her and she would say hello but nearly all of them didn’t know they where related. Through the years though she had kept track of her family line and over seven-hundred years it had grown quite large.
Only a small group of ponies knew they were descended from Princess Cadance and one of them was standing next to her watching the ponies pass by.
“Gran Gran Cadence,” the filly asked. “Tell me one of your stories please. I love them oh so much!”
Cadance smiled, her young face betraying the love she felt for her.
“Have I told you the story about when I visited the Zebra Kingdom with the first six Elements of Harmony, my husband and my children?”
“Yes, but I still love hearing it!”
“Very well,” Cadance laughed. Her voice sounded older than she looked. Like Celestia's, full of knowledge, experience and sorrow. “Rainbow Dash decided to fly around the world one day to make a world record but she ended up crashing in the land of the zebras. So Twilight and her friends decided to go find her and they wanted us to come along as well...”
The filly listened intently as she spoke, her mouth hanging open in a wide smile. Cadance smiled back but deep down she was already dreading the child’s funeral.
~
Cadance pulled herself away from the bowl and stood there shuddering in fear as she cried.
“Are you done looking?” Celestia asked softly.
Cadance shook her head. “I need to see one more.”
She peered into the bowl one last time as her heart throbbed in anguish.
~
None of her decedents knew who she was anymore. Cadance had long stopped keeping track of who they were anyway. As she peered out of her window at the massive sprawling city that once was Canterlot, she could only feel one emotion. Sadness.
It had been a few hundred years since she felt true joy and the had become known throughout the land as Princess Cadance of Sorrow and Isolation. That was who she had become. A silent specter that drifted through her house watching the ponies outside of her window.
She turned her gaze from the city and the ponies, past the still standing palace and to the mountains. She finally convinced herself to do something that she had been wanting to do ever since her last child died those many years ago. She pushed open the window and flew into the evening air. Ponies watched in wonder as she soared over them. Cadance climbed higher and higher until she was at equal height to the tallest mountain. She felt the free and cool wind tug at her mane and feathers before closing her wings. She smiled as the ground rushed up to meet her and a tear escaped her eye. Happy for the first time in a long time.
“I am coming my love.”
~
Celestia watched lovingly as Cadance cried. She waited several minutes before speaking.
“I understand how you feel.”
“No you don't,” Cadance shook her head and continue to weep.
Celestia could feel tears coming on as well as she continued.
“Many many years ago before I became ruler of Equestria I met a stallion. A kind and loving unicorn much like Shining Armor. I married him and I gave birth to two healthy foals, a filly and a colt.” Celestia paused and prepared herself for the story she hadn’t told in many years as Cadance looked up. “Twilight Sparkle is a distant descendant of me and my children, as are many other ponies. Though I doubt any of them know. I have seen my fair share of loved ones dying. Luna didn't become Nightmare moon just from jealousy. The death of her great- great granddaughter was what sent her over the edge but she doesn’t want our subjects knowing that.”
Cadance stared opened mouthed at Celestia. The information the Princess had revealed came as a sudden surprise to her already emotionally wrecked mind.
“How- how do you handle the pain? How do you go on?”
Celestia smiled. “By remembering that even when so much sorrow has happened that there is still good to feel in this world.”
Cadance pondered the words that Celestia had spoken.
“I'm going to go home and get some sleep,” Cadance said after a minute passed.
“Very well Cadance.” Celestia embraced her. “Just remember that even though some things you love pass away there will always be new things to love. Love things as they come and when you have them, not as they go.”
“I will try.” Cadance forced a smile. “Goodbye and thank you.”
Celestia nodded and returned the smile as Cadance walked out of her room.
When Cadance arrived home she stood in the doorway watching Shining Armor sleep. She felt a small kick from the foal inside of her and she smiled.
“I love you.”
She laid down next to Shining and drifted swiftly off to a peaceful sleep.
Back at the castle, Celestia was peering into the bowl of sunlight. The scene where Cadance committed suicide played out before her. But when the moment came for her to drop to the earth she instead continued to fly and enjoy the world around her.
The Princess smiled and then tapped her horn against the bowl and peered longingly into its golden color. A tear dropped from her eye as the faces of a unicorn stallion and two young foals smiled back.
“I miss you," she whispered affectionately. "I miss you all."
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I just wanted to write this because I like sad stories. Hope you enjoyed. Please leave a comment and a rating if you want to and if you see any mistakes tell me. I did not have a pre-reader so I am still finding mistakes.
