Politics: The Pinkie Pie Party
Disclaimer: I do not own any MLP:FIM, they belong to Hasbro and Lauren Faust. I am only borrowing them; I promise to give them back
It was a normal day in the town of Ponyville, a purple Unicorn named Twilight Sparkle sat in her library performing her favorite activity, reading.
“I just can’t believe that ponies used to do things like this,” She muttered to herself, “Why would they want to do that, ugh I mean the way we do it now is so much better.” Using her magic she replaced the book on marriages back onto its shelf and turned back to her books, intent on returning to her studies.
Only to be jumped by a hyper pink Earth Pony.
“Twilight Twilight you’ll never believe what I just found.” The pink pony held a book in front of Twilight’s face; she was holding it to close for Twilight to make out the title. “I found this ancient book about parties and they have a party I’ve never heard of before but its sounds so incredible and really want to make one.” Pinkie was hopping and skipping around the room, literally bouncing off the walls. “Would you help me make one of these parties Twilight, huh would ya would ya?”
Twilight could feel her confusion levels rising until she released them with shout.
“PINKIE!” the pink party pony slowed to a near stop, but she still seemed to be shaking like jello. “Now how about you show me the book and I’ll see what I can do.” Pinkie held the book out to Twilight who grabbed it with her magic and looked at the cover.
“Hmm... The Democratic Party and the Republican Party; the fall of the Democratic process,” She gave a puzzled look at the pink pony, “Pinkie this isn’t a book about parties, it’s a book about a long dead electoral process.”
“But Twilight it has to be about parties, it has the word party in the title not once but twice. I may never have heard of these parties before but I’m going to have one and that’s the end of it.” She crossed her arms while smiling widely at Twilight.
Twilight realized that she would have to try a different track to get this off of Pinkie’s mind. “But Pinkie, we haven’t had a party like this for thousands of years; we thought a tyrant was better.” Unfortunately, Pinkie’s mind doesn’t exactly run on the normal track and generally doesn’t even notice when the facts don’t work.
“Ooooohhhhh, that’s even better I get to be the first to run one of these parties in a thousand years! This is great!” Never one to sit still for long, she began to once again bounce all over the room.
“But Pinkie…” Twilight began, but Pinkie had already left; only leaving behind a note inviting her to join The Pinkie Pie Party. Twilight shrugged and began putting back all the books that had fallen during Pinkie’s bounce-a-thon.
‘I’m sure that nothing will come of it; I mean nothing could go wrong.’ She thought smiling to herself.
‘Apparently this.’ Twilights face was scrunched up in annoyance, but her eyes widened in surprise; she looked quite comical really, ‘but how did Pinkie do it?’
“Welcome fans to the first ever National Political Debate, coming to you from Main Square in Canterlot!” A yellow Earth Pony mare with a microphone cutey mark was smiling at the crowd of thousands, not to mention the millions more that were watching over special Unicorn spells in towns all across Equestria.
Standing next to her were three other ponies: Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Pinkie Pie. “My name is Micro Fone and I will be the announcer for this special event!” The crowd roared its approval.
“Before we begin the main festivities; let’s hear a little bit from each of the parties that are running for leadership of all Equestria!” The crowd roared again, “First we have our wonderful tyrant, she’s been around for longer than any other pony PRINCESS CELESTIA!” The crowds roar was deafening. She held the microphone out towards Celestia, “Is there anything you want to tell the public Celestia?”
“Yes I do,” Celestia calmly spoke into the microphone, “THIS ENTIRE THING IS A FARCE! A FARCE I SAY, ALL OF YOU HAVE SEEN ME RULE FOR YOUR ENTIRE LIFETIME, YOU KNOW I FIT FOR THE POSITION! WHY ARE YOU CONDONING THIS?!” The crowd was silent; those who had been wearing wigs weren’t, “Thank you.”
“Oooohhh, it seems that our first competitor is really into this competition, isn’t that right folks!” The crowd seemed to have gotten over their shock from Celestia and stamped their hooves against the ground. “Next we have the Queen of Nightmare Night, the Giver of Dreams, and the Nicest Pony that people are scared of… PRINCESS LUNA!” The crowd cheered and then quickly quieted.
Luna pushed away the offered microphone, “I’d prefer to use my own voice for this.” The microphone was quickly pulled away and Micro ran to the other side of the stage.
She coughed once, “PONIES OF CANTERLOT, WE ARE PRINCESS LUNA. SHOULD YOU ELECT ME AS LEADER OF EQUESTRIA WE PROMISE YOU ALL THAT YOU WILL LIVE WITHOUT FEAR OF BEING SENT TO THE MOON AND THAT YOU’LL RECEIVE FREEDOM FROM THE TYRANY THAT IS MY SISTER! I THANK YOU.” Unlike when Celestia had spoken, the crowd pounded their hooves against the ground, almost causing a five on the Richter Scale.
While most of the ponies were recovering from their broken eardrums, Micro had returned from wherever she had gone and trotted over to Pinkie.
“Finally we have the Premier Party Pony from Ponyville, the organizer of this event, and the ultimate Beyblade champion PINKIE PIE!” The crowd roared their approval; apparently they had enjoyed all the sweets that the pink pony had freely distributed before the event.
Pinkie just stared at the microphone that Micro was holding for a couple of seconds before taking a bite out of it, “I just love candy microphones! Oh right, if you elect me I’ll make sure that every party you ever go to will be Pinkie Pie Party.” The crowd seemed to roar louder than they had any time before, measuring a nine on the Richter Scale.
Micro looked at her bitten microphone before throwing away and getting a new one, “We will be taking a few minutes break so that we can set everything up and give Twilight a chance to have a breakdown!”
Pinkie was sitting on a chair in her waiting room brushing her puffy pink mane; somehow. Just watching her would give anyone a headache.
Twilight trotted into the room, stopping in front of the party pony. She held her forelegs wide, “Pinkie, how did you do this.”
Pinkie threw her hairbrush over her shoulder, “It was easy; I just got took the party cannon and set it to Pinkie Pie Party and fired. Now here we are! Isn’t it great?” It was nonsensical, but with Pinkie that was the norm, Twilight had long ago accepted that. It didn’t mean that she was going to let Pinkie go through with this.
“But Pinkie why did you do it?” That one confused Twilight even more, this wasn’t really a party…was it?
“Oooohh that’s even easier, I’m doing it because I wanted to make at least one of every party and I needed to have one of these so that I could check it off my list. I mean I may have just made that list because the book said that all parties needed a list but I can still check it off.”
“Then you don’t really care about winning do you?” Twilight was glad it was such a simple reason; hopefully she could mitigate the damage that could occur. Celestia had to remain in office, there was no other option.
“Of course not, parties are all about making sure everyone is having as much fun as they can.” Pinkie was smiling widely, imagining all the smiling faces that she had ever seen at her parties, this one was her biggest one ever and all those smiling ponies was just making her feel so good. No matter how this went she’d need to do another one of these, they were great!
“So you wouldn’t mind losingonpurpose would you?” Twilight was banking on this; everything could just go back to normal if Pinkie Pie lost. Even if Luna won, surely she’d just give the title back to her sister, right?
“No can do Twilie, if I was to lose on purpose there would be so many sad ponies because the party would just end too soon. You know that I can’t stand sad ponies, it would just make me want to cry.” In fact it looked like just the thought of all those sad faces was making Pinkie puffy hair began to fall flat. Apparently this wasn’t going to work out well for Twilight.
A voice came over the P.A. system, “Would all candidates please come back to the stage, we’re ready to begin the debate.”
“Well it was great talking to you Twilie, but I need to get back on stage to keep this party going.” Twilight was about to force her stay here and let her convince Pinkie that she had to lose on purpose, but eventually she just shrugged. Celestia would win, it wasn’t in doubt.
Still if one looked closely, one could see Twilight’s mane beginning to fray.
“Welcome back folks, it’s time for our question and answer round. Our first question was submitted by one Applejack from Sweet Apple Acres, Ponyville. She wants to ask the candidates about what they would do about the rising food prices since the economy has recently taken a downturn. She says that she has seen several ponies that simply can’t pay the high prices, but the farmers can’t keep their prices low.” She turned towards Celestia, “Since you are the current tyrant, how about you go first?”
Celestia smiled, “That’s a very good question. In a case like that I would create a government funded program in order to subsidize the food growing industries. Through this plan the food prices will be kept low, while still allowing farmers to make a profit. We will pay for this through making cuts in luxary programs that currently subsidize spa treatments for the rich.” There was some slow clapping from the crowd, but most of it just looked confused.
“Uuuuh, that’s great Celestia.” She turned and whispered to one of the people off stage, “Did any of you understand that?” All she received back was shrugs; she turned back towards the candidates, “Luna how about you go next.”
“Very well, I WILL BE PROVIDING MONEY TO THE FARMS TO HELP THEM KEEP PRICES LOW. THANK YOU.” The crowd roared at this proclamation.
Celestia looked incensed and confused, “Hey that’s what I said, why did she get such a good response?”
“Because I said it better.” Luna was smiling, all the ponies were cheering for her; she didn’t care if she won or lost at this point. At last she would have the recognition she’d wanted all her life. All the ponies would finally know her name; take that Celestia!
“Finally, Pinkie Pie it’s time for your answer.”
“Thank you Micro, my answer to the question is cupcakes.” The entire crowd went silent; you could have heard a pin drop. Twilight even tested it, it made a pinging sound. She also felt ecstatic, there was no way that Pinkie was going to win with an answer like that; at this point she would take either of the two Alicorns, they had at least been around long enough.
Apparently though Pinkie wasn’t finished, “I will personally bring free cupcakes to any starving pony in all of Equestria!” The crowd roared, it registered a ten on the Richter Scale.
“Well folks that’s all the time we have for this little debate; well okay really we just didn’t get any other questions, nobody seemed to see this coming.” A small sweat drop appeared on her head, “In any case I hope you got to learn a bit more about your available candidates: Celestia, Luna, and Pinkie Pie!”
“Okay now nothing can go wrong.” Twilight was going to regret saying that.
Micro was standing in a white room with a chalkboard, on which millions of marks were being places underneath each of the candidate’s name. Ponies were running from all over the place making marks on the board.
“Well folks the votes have almost all been counted, all fifteen million of them, and Luna and Pinkie are neck and neck with approximately seven and half million each; Celestia is trailing far behind with zero votes. It’s absolutely incredible; for the first time in the history of a vote it could end it tie.” A pony in a white coat ran up to her and whispered in her ear, “oh really? Well okay.” She turned back towards the cameras, “Well folks, it appears that all but one of the votes has been counted and still the two candidates have the exact same number of votes. We now take you to the scene of the unveiling.”
Micro trotted over towards a pony holding a white envelope in the air, the camerapony following behind her. She watched as he slowly opened the envelope, pulled out the slip inside, and held it up to the camera. The curly and pretty handwriting made it a simple manner to read the name of the candidate, but everyone waited for Micro to announce it.
“And the name on the last ballet is… drumroll please,” A drumroll sounded in the background, “CELESTIA! Written in by one Twilight Sparkle.” She looked at the envelope quizzically, “Why did she write her name on the ballet? Eh doesn’t matter.” She threw it over her shoulder.
“Well fans this presents us with a problem, it seems that we’ll need to do a recount.” All the ponies in the room groaned.
The pony in the white coat ran back onto the screen, stopping to smile and wave at the camera before he again whispered into Micro’s ear. “oh really, well isn’t that interesting. Uh huh, thank you.” The pony ran off again.
“Breaking News! The Pinkie Pie Party and the Lunar Party have decided to join together and form the Lunar Pie Party. Pinkie Pie has graciously stated that she will be taking the Vice-President position, which she had stated quote ‘Sounds like oh so much more fun, it will just be the bestest party ever’. So congratulation to the Lunar Pie Party, may your rule be graced with peace.” She nodded her head towards the screen, “This is Micro Fone signing off.”
Twilight just stared at the flickering spell, “Well that went about as well as can be expected; I think I’ll go live in the mountains until the next election.”
Authors Note: This came to mind and I just couldn't help myself from writing it; hope you enjoyed it.
