You're An Awesome One, Rainbow Dash
You're An Awesome One, Rainbow Dash
Rainbow Dash didn’t want her pet Tank to hibernate for the winter, but she was having a really hard time coming up with a course of action to take. She thought, and thought and thought about a solution to her problem.
At one point she said out loud: “I could always just fly south like the birds do every year to somewhere warm with Tank when it becomes winter around these parts! No wait…then I would have to leave my other friends behind. That is the worst idea ever.”
She rubbed her head in frustration and continued to pace around her living room, Tank watching her walk back and forth. Then Rainbow Dash suddenly got an idea.
“I know what I should do.”
Tank moved his head up to listen in anticipation.
Rainbow struck a heroic pose as she proclaimed, “I should watch a movie! Watching movies always helps get the wheels turning in my head. And I know just the film to watch! For some reason, I have the strangest urge to view my copy of The Grinch on Blu-ray. I can’t imagine why. Anyway, come on Tank. Let’s watch it together.”
So she gathered up Tank in her hooves, sat in her favorite chair, placed Tank on her lap and popped in the disc into her Blu-ray player. The two friends watched the film from start to finish. They both agreed that the film was always the best thing to watch around this time of year. And then that gave Rainbow Dash another idea.
“I know what I’ll do!” She said, giving a wide Grinchy grin.
So she sat down at her kitchen table and began to write a song. When she was finished, she sung it out loud.
The song went something like this:
You’re An Awesome One, Rainbow Dash
By: Rainbow Dash
You're an awesome one, Rainbow Dash,
You’ve really got the moves,
You're as quick as a cheetah,
You fly faster than any pony dudes,
Rainbow Dash,
You're automatically 20% cooler than anyone you come across!
You're a speedster, Rainbow dash,
You’ve got a heart of gold,
Your brain is full of great ideas,
You’re a flyer at your core, Rainbow Dash,
I couldn’t win against you if I,
Trained for a million moons or more!
You're a fun one, Rainbow Dash,
You’ve got an awesome smile,
You can win against any monster or angry cragadile,
Rainbow Dash,
Just try to win a fight with her and you’ll,
End up like the angry cragadile!
You're a funny one, Rainbow Dash,
You make the greatest jokes,
Some ponies say that Pinkie’s funny,
But they are the weirder folks,
Rainbow Dash,
The three best words that best describe you,
Are as follows, and I quote,
Best!
Pony!
Ever!
You're a rocker, Rainbow Dash,
You're the queen of rock and roll,
You play a mean lead guitar and can shred like no pony other,
Rainbow Dash,
You are so amazing that everypony agrees,
You are overflowing with the most astounding,
Assortment of the best things imaginable,
Wrapped up in one giant package of cool!
You fascinate me, Rainbow Dash,
You’re truly the cream of the crop,
You're the best around at team sports,
You have the most trophies of any pony in town,
Rainbow Dash!
You're a three-decker fabulous,
Cake with all of the best toppings,
Covered with awesome sauce!
Satisfied with her song, Rainbow Dash walked around her house for a while singing it to herself. And then she got another idea!
“I know,” She said, rubbing her hooves together evilly, “I’ll write a bad fan fiction about the Grinch with me as the main character!”
So she set to work writing her really bad fan fiction.
And her really bad fan fiction went something like this:
How Rainbow Dash Tried to Stop Winter
A parody of ‘How The Grinch Stole Hearth's Warming Eve’ by Pony Seuss.
By: Rainbow Dash
Every pony down in Ponyville liked winter a lot...
But Rainbow Dash, who lived high up in Cloudsdale, Did NOT!
Rainbow Dash hated winter! The whole winter season!
Now, please don't ask why. No pony quite knows the reason.
It could be that the winter put a damper on her rad style,
It could be, perhaps, that only other seasons, made her smile,
But I think that if I had to make a guess,
It was because she did not want to say goodbye to her pet.
Whatever the case, her cramped style or a reason to vent,
She stared at the running of the leaves, hating the whole event,
Staring down from her cloud with a sour, Dashy frown,
At the ponies removing all signs of fall from the town.
For she knew every pony down in Ponyville below,
Was busy now, preparing for lots of snow.
"And they're buying winter clothes!" she snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is winter! It's practically here!"
Then she growled, with her Dashy hooves nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop winter from coming!"
For tomorrow, she knew, all the fillies and colts,
Would wake bright and early. To the snow they would bolt!
And then! Oh, the snow fights! Oh, the sledding!
The ice hockey! The hot cocoa! Winter weddings!
That's one thing she hated! Weddings were always the same!
They were gross! They were weird! But most of all, lame!
Then the pegasus ponies, young and old, would bring a storm,
And it would snow! And it would snow! And it would SNOW!
SNOW! SNOW! SNOW!
They would make it snow here, and make it snow there,
This was something that Dashy could just not bear!
And THEN they'd do something she liked least of all!
Every pegasus up in Cloudsdale, the tall and the small,
Would create more clouds at the weather factory,
They'd create more snowflakes. And more lightening!
They'd make sleet! They’d make wind! And they'd make ice!
ICE! ICE! ICE!
And the more the Dashy thought of the ice, sleet, and snow,
The more Dashy thought, “All of this snow needs to go!"
"Why, for at least twelve moons I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop this winter from coming! But HOW?"
Then she got an idea! An awful idea!
RAINBOW DASH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what I am going to do!" Dashy laughed in her throat.
And she stole all of Ponyville’s winter clothes.
And she chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Dashy trick!"
"Without winter clothes, the ponies will surely quit.”
"Now I just need to hide some clouds..." At this Dashy looked around,
She found small ones and tall ones; then buried them deep in the ground.
Did Dashy stop there? No! She simply said,
"I have to make the birds fly North instead!"
So she called the birds around. Then took out a compass,
And led them away from the town with finesse.
THEN she hid snowflakes in knapsacks,
She stuffed tree trunks with clouds to the max,
Then Rainbow Dash said, "Yippee!" And with her pet Tank,
Had a musical number about her great prank.
But it wasn’t long after her music fanfare,
That she saw all the ponies did not seem to care,
As she flew over the first little house on the square,
She asked, "Why are they smiling?" Then flew to where,
More pegasi were bringing in clouds and ice,
She saw ponies bring out more sweaters without thinking twice,
And she saw Fluttershy gathering the bears and the mice,
To hibernate in caves and burrows in pairs of two,
She saw ponies putting on warm snow shoes,
She saw unicorns singing winter carols in a row,
"But I hid the clothes," she whined, "They were the first things to go!"
Then she pouted and groaned, with frown most unpleasant,
As she watched the ponies buy presents,
Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!
Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!
Rainbow Dash had all she could take, and very nimbly,
Flew back to Cloudsdale with one defeated whinny,
Then she slunk to the icebox. She took out some ice pops,
She sat at the table and ate quite a lot!
She ate seven ice pops quick as a flash,
She needed some energy if she was going to bash
The big winter party ponies were throwing with glee,
So when she was done she caught a fair breeze,
And flew back to Ponyville with ease, then from aloft,
She thought of her next course of action to plot,
As she spotted some weather pegasi make,
A few more clouds with a cloud machine in great haste,
Then Dashy got another idea, this sly Pegasister,
She would go to the weather factory, disguised as a worker,
She would sabotage winter right at the source,
“It’s brilliant!” She squealed, then started her course,
To the weather factory to carry out her great scheme,
She brought Tank along for the ride on a leash,
"My favorite pet," Rainbow Dash said,
"I am going to bring this entire season to an end!"
She sneaked into the factory through an old rust vent,
She put on a spare set of factory clothes and went,
To the heart of the weather making lab,
And began to fiddle with this and with that.
And then she found a great water tower,
And she pulled out all of the attached hoses with all of her power,
But she noticed her turtle was about to hit a fan,
So she momentarily put a halt to her great plan,
And rescued her pet with one big swoop,
But the forced caused her to be pushed through
A really big door with jars of lightning and thunder,
Then those jars crashed to the ground below,
And pushed Rainbow Dash right out the utility room’s front door,
And she bounced about and made a great mess,
Much to the other weather pony’s great distress.
They couldn’t stop the lightening! The thunder! The wind!
The ice! And the snow! The sleet! The slush!
Everything came together in the factory’s center,
And blew out the factory roof in a great rumble of thunder!
Then winter came faster than ever had before,
Hitting the ground below with a giant roar,
It covered every inch of the town down below,
And just about every pony in about five feet of snow,
And rainbow was the first to come crashing down,
Holding Tank in her arms with a giant frown,
She crashed into a snowbank holding her pet,
It was an experience she was sure to never forget.
Her friends ran towards her as she emerged from the snowbank,
Sadly holding her favorite pet turtle, tank,
They all gathered around and asked her if she was okay,
And she told them, “No,” and then flew away,
With tank in her hooves, and tears in her eyes,
She took off to her home way up in the skies,
And she stayed in her house and cried there for days,
Heartbroken that she could not stop winter’s reign,
Yes, somehow or other, it came just the same!
She spent days eating ice cream in her favorite bathrobe,
Sitting in bed puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
She had practically destroyed the weather factory and for what?
Winter still came, leaving her in a rut!
And she puzzled for days, till her puzzler was sore,
Then her friends walked through her bedroom door,
They tried to cheer her up for an hour or more,
And then Fluttershy finally set Rainbow Dash straight,
As she bluntly told her that Tank had to hibernate,
And Rainbow Dash cried because she knew it was true,
And all of her friends cried along with her too,
Then the next day her friends helped her say goodbye,
To tank as he buried himself deep in the snow,
And Dashy was finally able to let him go.
When rainbow dash was done writing her really bad fan fiction, she read it out loud to Tank, who gave a hearty nod of approval.
“Yeah, I really am the best writer out of any pony I know when I try. Just like I am the best at everything else. But I still can’t figure out what I can do about this hibernation thing. Oh well. I guess I’ll just go to bed and sleep on it.”
So Rainbow Dash went to bed, hoping that having a good night’s sleep would help her think of a great idea to stop Tank from hibernating.
However in the morning, when she woke up, she found out that Tank had already gone to sleep!
She held the hibernating Tank in her hooves, got down on her knees and yelled a dramatic fashion, “Noooooo!”
Tank ignored her, as he was already fast asleep. Rainbow Dash finally gave up. She gathered all of her friends around and had Fluttershy help tuck Tank in his own little cave for the winter. She crossed her hooves over her chest when Tank was all tucked in, fully buried, and hibernating inside of his cave.
“Oh man,” she complained, making a pouty face, “I didn't even get to have an awesome solo song about helping Tank not to hibernate, or get to go on some crazy adventure to make it so Tank wouldn't hibernate for the winter. He just did it on his own. This is so unfair!”
Pinkie put a hoof on Rainbow Dash’s shoulder to comfort her.
“Well, there is always next time Rainbow Dash. Personally, if it was me, I would have just tried to stop winter from coming. But then again, that is just me. Now if you excuse me, I am going to go build a snow mare.”
Then Pinkie Pie went hopping off singing, “La la la la la,” as Rainbow Dash’s right eye began to twitch and she grabbed the ends of her hair with her hooves.
“But…but I wrote a bad fan fiction all about that! It’s so obvious! Why didn’t I just follow the plan in my story! Why!”
And she sunk to the ground crying over her lack of creativity. Twilight Sparkle and the others watched on in a kind of awkward silence, while Pinkie Pie continued to build a snow mare in the distance.
“Do you think we should say something to make her feel better?” Asked Fluttershy, who was genuinely concerned for her friend.
“Naw, she’ll get over it,” said Applejack, walking over to help Pinkie Pie build her snow mare. Everyone else agreed and left Rainbow Dash to throw a big fit outside of Tank’s hibernation burrow for the rest of the day. Rainbow Dash finally got over herself and joined the others in their winter fun, forgetting all about the hibernation business in the process.
