My little Okama : Cross-dressing is Magic

by RaptorJesus

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Other, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover
Length: 27208

When the world's campiest shapeshifter comes to Equestria, weirdness happens. OKAMA WAY!

(Story Cancelled - I might write a new one with the same premise once I'm finished with my other projects.)

After being "killed" by Head Warden Magellan, Bon Kurei finds himself in Equestria.
How will the world's campiest shapeshifter cope with this strange place and its inhabitants?
How will the rest of the world cope with HIM?
A tale of friendship, fighting, and cross-dressing. No, seriously, there's an awful lot of cross-dressing involved.

A One Piece / MLP crossover.

My very first fanfic, also my first story written in English. Do tell me if you can see any amelioration that could be made, I would happily learn from my mistakes :p

Rated Teen because awesomeness is volatile. Also, cross-dressing.

Published 2012-05-18 01:34:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-11 22:47:35 UTC

Prologue : Bon-chan's sacrifice + Trivia

The tears simply wouldn’t stop.

Even in the depth of Hell…

The Gate of Justice closed behind them. Nothing would stand between Mugi-chan and his brother now. His old friend was safe.

Blooms a beautiful flower of friendship… Leaving its petals as memento…

That was it. He would die here, by the hand of Magellan the Warden, a monster that could kill with a single, poisonous touch. His death would probably be slow and painful, leaving him plenty of time to regret his heinous crime.

Two hundred and forty-one.

Two hundred and forty-one inmates free to roam the seas once again because of him. Not only would the escapees endanger the whole world, but the massive jailbreak destroyed everything the Head Warden fought for, for so many years. Impel Down, the inescapable jail, had failed. The news of this disgrace would shake the world deeply.
Magellan would make him pay dearly for this humiliation.

…Bobbing back and forth on the waves…

But that didn’t mean he didn’t do the right thing. In the name of friendship, he sacrificed his life to allow his best -and last- friend to save his brother’s life.

‘Sacrifice’ was the wrong word. He would fight. He was not going to give the Warden the satisfaction of finishing a sobbing wreck kneeling before him. He discarded his disguise, now much too big for his ballerina body. He dried his tears, leaving his bright mascara smeared below his eyes. And there, facing the towering monster that was infamously known as one of the strongest being in this world, he stroke one last time his fighting pose.

…For it will surely one day bloom once more…

Not a shiver in his body. No fear in his eyes. He was determined to the end, and so was his stance.

…Okama way!

Finally, the Warden made his move, releasing the boiling anger that built up inside him.
“DO YOU HAVE ANY LAST WORDS?!” shouted Magellan, his poisonous fist ready to deliver its ineludible judgment.

…In the Okama fields…

“I have no regret!” His last cry was spoken with sincere serenity, a defiant grin glued to his face. The shape-shifter would leave this world as his true, punchy self.

The dreaded hand finally fell upon him. The Warden, in his anger, wouldn’t even leave him die the slow death his crime deserved.

…Let us meet again!

The punch connected. A numbing pain found its way through his whole body, as blood shot between his still clenched teeth. You make sure to save your brother, Mugi-chan… As he fell to the floor, his last thought went to his friend, the boy with a strawhat. He remembered running away, leaving him alone to face Magellan a few hours earlier. I hope this make up for my cowardice, Mugi-chan…
The cold hands of Death caught him, darkness engulfed his mind.

This day, the grand master of disguise, the one who transcended the path of the Man, passed away. The world lost one of its most colorful and friendly creature.

This day, the crossdresser Bentham, known as Bon Kurei, died.

Or so he thought.

Trivia

This , here, is a mass of Trivia, an introduction of sorts to the universe of My Little Okama: Crossdressing is Magic. Which means it won't be funny. Or at least that I won't be trying very hard.
Be prepared.

Who is Bon Clay?

"Mister Two Bon Clay...Wanted for 32 000 000 bery... Despite being an assassin, this guy is fascinated by the power of friendship... I should know, the annoying bastard kept going on and on about it after I caught him! Hina annoyed.
He may looks and acts like a fool, but he's got a strong body and a fearsome Devil Fruit. And yet, his strongest point is his absolute loyalty toward the ones he calls "Nakamas", willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for them. Hina impressed." - Captain Hina "The Black Cage"

What are Bon Clay's powers?

"That trash was my greatest asset because of his power: the Mane Mane no Mi, a Paramecia fruit. The moron can take the appearance of anyone or anything whose face he touched, if said thing is sentient... He's one of the most annoying moron I've had to deal with, but he could be serious long enough to actually be identical to the original.
His main problem? Guy is a moron. His power allows him to perfectly copy someone's appearance, including growing additional limbs, changing in size, sprouting fur, feathers and scales, or even copy a Zoan's ability... And the best he could come up with was to make himself look ridiculous. Moron." - Crocodile "Mister Zero"

"Gotta give it to him: that darn Okama got strong legs. He could parry every kick I threw at him, and his ability to focus his strength at the tip of his feet to use them as spears was impressive. Honestly, he's one of the strongest opponents I faced... And according to Luffy he got even better after our fight in Alabasta! I wouldn't mind a rematch...Especially if he lets me appreciate Nami-chwan curves again!" - Sanji "The Black Leg"

Are we going to have more of these stupid Q&A?

"Screw you." - RaptorJesus "The Author, Bitch"

As for Equestria, this story takes places after the events of "Luna Eclipsed" but before "Best Night Ever": basically, Princess Luna returned to her duties faster in this story than she did in the original.

Waking in the Okama Fields + The Okama gets a job

Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia’s protégé, Bearer of the Element of Magic and bookworm nonpareil was still wondering what happened. She wasn’t sure how her friends managed to mesmerize her, but here she was, training on a new spell while Spike tried his best to deal with-

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS SHELF ORGANIZERS!” shouted the three little fillies that Applejack and Rarity brought her in the morning. They both had urgent work to attend to, and Fluttershy, these three usual foalsitter, already had to deal with another one of Angel’s tantrums. Apparently, there wasn’t any carrot left at the market, after somepony bought them all, Celestia-knows-why. Angel didn’t take it lightly and took a mice family in hostage. The poor Pegasus was way too busy negotiating their liberation to take care of the fillies.

So they came to Twilight, hoping she could keep them until mid-afternoon.

“I don’t want to impose, darling. We will find somepony else if you can’t take care of them now,” said Rarity.

“Sure thin’, sugarcube. Don’ go get ya’self all worked over it. We know ya’ve got plenty a’ books ta read…an’…magic stuff ta do,” Applejack added, trying and failing not to appear desperate.

Even somepony as socially dense as Twilight could see her friends' despair, thus she couldn’t resist and accepted. It took her about two minutes to remember why she never, ever accepted before.

And why she will NEVER, EVER accept again.

The library was a mess. Books were spread all over the main room. Some were stacked in hazardous piles, sometimes towering so high she was wondering how the fillies managed to put them there in the first place. Others fell from the shelf after the Cutie Mark Crusaders tried to re-organize them. Spike was trying to put them back where they belonged, but the poor baby dragon couldn’t catch up with the nefarious speed the fillies were turning the library into something that would turn Rarity into a sobbing, gibbering mess.

“…We’re not really good at that, I guess,” Sweetie Belle said sadly as she checked her flank, still as blank as it was in the morning.

“Ah told ya’ it would hav’ helped ta be able ta read dem’ books titles!” Apple Bloom complained, trying to think of something else to try.

“Meh, that’s not so bad. At least now we’re not gonna have a ladder for a Cutie mark or some lame stuff like that,” Scootaloo added, trying to cheer her friends up.

“Gals! Ah think Ah’ve got an idea!” exclaimed the earth-pony filly. “Listen close!”

She murmured something to the other two’s ears, which apparently caught their attention as their faces beamed in playful glee. Spike couldn't shake the feeling of impending doom as their gazes focused on him. “Huh?”

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS DRAGON SLAYERS!” They shouted so loudly the whole tree shook, probably just as scared as Spike about what was going to happen next.

“GIRLS!” Twilight nerves were starting to break from the constant strain these three little brats put on them. Sometimes, the lack of Slendermane is barely bearable, she thought jokingly.

“If you could please try to calm down a bit! I’m trying a complicated spell and-“ she was cut by the three flashing her with an angelic smile, so sweet that she could feel an urgent need for insulin rising. For a second, she marveled how none of them ever thought of trying “Cutie Mark Crusaders Being Too Adorable To Punish”. That would probably earn them all one awkward Cutie Mark, but they indeed were talented at deceiving ponies using their heart-crushing cuteness. She sighed and returned to her work.

Confident that having them chasing Spike was going to occupy them long enough to give a try to her new spell, Twilight re-checked her list, making sure everything was ready for her first attempt ever at turning an apple into...something else. The spell would actually let her turn the apple in pretty much anything she wanted, so she wasn’t quite sure what to do.

Her objective was to be able to turn it into a coach for the incoming Grand Galloping Gala, assuring the Best Night Ever would begin in the most amazing way possible. But she had to keep it a secret, and she wouldn't risk making something that big appear in the middle of the library.
Instead, she went for turning the apple into a pear – At least, that would make a great April Foal prank to play on Applejack if she didn’t reach her primary objective of making them a ride worthy of a Prin- Duchess.

She wasn’t intending to give it as a gift to Princess Celestia after the night was over.

Not at all.

And her face wasn’t suddenly feeling hot. At all.

That’s at this point she realized in horror that she was in the middle of the incantation. And as her mind wandered, the spell changed along. If she didn't re-focus, the results could be…messy. Actually, she had no idea what would happen, as the spell had mutated into something entirely different, something she never tried or even read about before. Any other day, she would have been ecstatic at the idea of creating a new, unknown spell on her own, but the near-infinite possibilities of the spell backfiring spectacularly chased the idea quickly.

What if she screwed up badly? As in, BADLY badly? She would be put in jail! Or maybe the magic would directly send her to the Sun, or the bottom of the ocean? Or send her in jail at the bottom of the ocean?!

Suddenly, the magic in her horn dissipated. The spell, whatever it became, was now sent.

She didn’t want to open her eyes, half-expecting to be turned into a stallion or a werepony or spouting extra limbs. When she finally built up the courage to open her eyes, she saw for herself that nothing actually happened. She was perfectly normal, Spike didn’t turn gigantic and the Cutie Mark Crusaders were not chased by a faceless demonic molester or any creepy thought that raced through her mind moments before.

Everything was perfectly fine.

Well, as far as she knew.

Rainbow Dash was enjoying her nap. For once, she did deserve her tranquility, managing by some equine intervention to escape Pinkie Pie’s attention long enough to flee from Ponyville.

She really needed to thanks Derpy for distracting Pinkie. The yellow-maned mare was probably the clumsiest pony she had ever met, a trotting disaster area even, but not even she would accidentally crash into Pinkie, while just happening to have made a few too many “Super Experimental Carrot Cupcakes” to eat by herself.
She winked at Dash when the cyan pegasus started to fly away with an elated smile.
Well, Dash supposed it was a wink. It was a bit hard to know with Derpy.
Anyway, she deserved a great big bag of muffins for saving her nap, whether she intended to or not.

Alas for the rainbow-maned pegasus, it seemed like Pinkie wasn’t today’s nap sole antagonist. She was sure she flew far enough from Ponyville to be safe from ponies wandering out of town. Hay, most ponies would need to cross the Everfree to come here, and it was pretty far even for other pegasi. Nopony else in Ponyville had the speed and stamina to come here casually.
And yet, she could hear somepony down there singing at the top of his lungs. She didn't really understand the lyrics, but it kinda sounded like Neighponese, a language she had some notions of thanks to her martial arts training.
Already awake, she gave a quick glance below, with the intention of making whoever was singing shut the hay up. Not that he sang badly, but it was nap time. Nopony mess with the Dash's nap time.

That’s when she saw…It.

The creature down there wasn’t like anything she had ever seen.

Its face was misshapen, with beady eyes and a gigantic mouth. Its ears were weirdly shaped, and for some reason his muzzle stopped above its mouth, looking like a bird’s beak in the middle of its unnaturally long face.

It had four limbs, but it was standing on only one. And spinning. She didn’t quite understand what it was doing, but it seemed like it was standing on one of its hind legs, while its other hind leg was extended behind it, going up above its head. Shivering painfully at the thought of how unnatural such a position was, Rainbow Dash wondered what kind of creature it could be. Fluttershy would certainly know, maybe I should go warn her?

She looked again at the creature, when she noticed something weird with its front legs. They were shorter than its hind legs, and they ended with claw-like appendages, kinda like Spike’s.

Actually, they didn't seem sharp enough for claws, which meant they probably were...Hands?

“Well, I know an unicorn that’s never gonna let him alone if she hears about him. Poor thing,” mocked the pegasus. As she tried to imagine their meeting, she couldn’t help but roll on her back, laughing loudly as the scene played in her mind.
“I’ve got to bring it to Ponyville, that’s gonna be awesome!” she exclaimed, trying to suppress another fit of laughter. Looking down at her new “friend”, her smile faded.

Bentham’s body fell flatly on the ground. For some reason, temperature seemed to have risen a bit. He dismissed the sudden change on the base it was probably caused by the warden's poison. He could see through his eyelids that the room had become brighter, which was quite unusual for a jail, especially an underground, dungeon-like one. A sudden feeling inside his chest startled him.

His heart was still beating.

Did Magellan miss his organs? Unlikely, as he didn’t even bother to dodge the mortal fist. He probably managed to restrain himself enough to merely floor him, leaving Bentham die an excruciating death caused by a hundred toxins burning his body at once.

The cross-dresser tried to get up. Putting both hands on the ground, he noticed something even weirder, something that couldn’t, possibly, be there. Grass.

“Jodan ja na~i wayo!~” (Stop joking around!) he shouted, dumbfounded at this new discovery. He immediately jumped back on his feet, wincing in pain as he did, and looked around.

He was standing in the middle of a vast meadow near a forest. It took him some time to get used to the brightness, feeling the Sun over his head - how long was it since he last felt its loving warmth?

The sight of his surroundings was a relief to Bon Kurei. After months spent underground, the surface seemed so…colorful. The sky had a magnificent aquamarine shade, with a few white clouds, so fluffy one could dream lying there for a glorious nap with the Sun for sole witness. The grass around him was emerald green, a weak breeze making it wave and dance, as if it was greeting him. From a distance, he could hear the flow of a river, which seemed to run in direction of the gloomy forest a few hundred meters east of his current position.

He felt something fall on his right hand. On closer inspection, he realized he was crying at the beauty of the scene. So, there was a logical explanation behind Magellan's disappearance. He truly was dead.

And these were the Okama fields.

This revelation left him with an urge to sing his happiness at the top of his lungs. A song he last sang long before his imprisonment, when he still had a crew and a ship. He would meet Mugi-chan’s team a few hours later. A sad thought ran across his mind: he would have loved to share this song with him, at least once… But it wasn’t time for regrets. He finally found Heaven, and he was decided to enjoy it.

Lost in excitement, he raised his right leg behind his back in a painful-looking split, raised both hands other his head, and began to spin. For the ballerina, it was how his whole being expressed its joy and relief. As he was spinning faster and faster, he cracked into a maniacal cackle. It was some sort of breathing technique he mastered long ago, allowing him to speak without having to pause in his antics or getting short of breath. That also allowed him to sing, spinning like the graceful little ballerina atop a Lake of the Swan music box.

♫Shosen, kono yo wa otoko to onna
Shikashi achishi wa otoko de onna♪
Dakara saikyou!!! (Saikyou!!)♫
Saikyou!!!♪ (Saikyou!!)
♫OH COME MY WAY!♫
A- saikyou!!! (Saikyou!!)
Saikyou!!!♪ (Saikyou!!)
O~KA~MA~WA~Y~♪

Suddenly, he collapsed. His body couldn’t support the strain he pulled it through during this crazy battle, getting barely any rest for a whole day of ceaseless fights against feral animals, barely human jailers, scorching heat and burning cold. His appearance would give out his state to any passerby: covered in what must have been dozens meters of band-aid, blood leaking from multiple wounds, and his mascara smearing all over his face.

If the situation wasn't already dire enough, he noticed only now the puddle of purple ooze staining his abdomen, right where Magellan hit him. ...How?
The toxins were inside his body, and it would only be a matter of hours before he would die from them if he couldn’t get an antidote... If blood loss and extreme physical exhaustion didn't finish him off before that.

Despite his struggles to stay conscious, he blacked out, still weakly singing.

Gokigenyou! Saikin DUU-?
WHAT'CHA GONNA DOO-?!

Fortunately, it seemed that his little…outburst granted him some much needed attention…

The thing fell unconscious on the ground below. She flew down as fast as she could, realizing that the creature was pretty badly injured: half of its body was wrapped in band-aid, and a red and lavender spot was visible on his abdomen.

“Wow! Are you ok? Hey? Can you hear me? Heeey? Anypony home?!” she was screaming in what she supposed was his left ear. She didn’t receive any answer his labored breathing. It was in a dire situation, but how exactly could she help him? She didn't even know how to clean a wound...Hay, she didn't even know WHAT it was!

At first she thought she would just drag it to Ponyville’s hospital, or maybe to Twilight's library, but now that she was close she noticed just how tall it was. Actually, it was one of the tallest creatures she ever saw without being downright enormous. From memory, she would say it was at least a head taller than Princess Celestia herself – and even if it was quite slim, she wouldn’t be able to transport it all the way back to the library.
She had to leave it here and get Twilight as fast as possible. Maybe Fluttershy, too, just in case it woke up and tried to run – or worse, attack. It certainly was in bad shape, but given its size and flexibility, it was probably able to hit pretty hard - and if it felt cornered, it would attack with all of its strength. If it panicked, having somepony who can stare down a dragon with them could save their lives.

She was ready to leave, but still hesitant to let it lay here alone. She had to be fast.

“Don’t worry big...ape...thingy! I have friends who can help you! I’ll be right back, so you better not die, ok?” she asked the creature, even if it was quite obvious it couldn’t hear her.

Unfolding her wings, she took off. I’ll be right back, she repeated to herself. I’ll get Twilight and Fluttershy, and they’ll heal that thing, whatever happened to it. She was flying at full speed toward Ponyville’s library.

They’ll heal it in ten seconds flat!

The Okama gets a job

"Did ya get all that, partner?"

Applejack looked expectantly at Bon Clay, who had yet to say a word since they left the barn to begin working on the orchard. When he had decided he would rather avoid being a burden to anypony and that he would find a job, the farmer pony immediately gave him a job at the orchard.

The family was short on bits to pay him, but he would have a roof and three meals a day. Plus, apple-bucking should be a piece of cake for him, given his strength. Applejack had spent the previous ten minutes explaining him in details how to hit the tree for maximal efficiency, and he was about to give it a try.

"Clear as water, Apple-chan!" he answered with great enthusiasm. "I'm ex~ci~ted! Let's get started! Nyahaha!"

He went to the first tree, waiting for Applejack's word. Said pony sat down below another apple tree before giving him a nod.

"Let's do this!" he brought his right leg before him, aiming for the spot on the trunk where hoofmarks could still be seen from the last apple-bucking season.

"Okama Kenpo!"

Applejack's eyes widened a bit. "Careful, Bon! Ya don't want to hurt the tree!"

"Swan Dash!"

Propelling himself forward with his right leg, Bon Clay quickly brought his left leg in front of him, kicking the tree right on mark. It would have been perfect, if he didn't kick hard enough to send the poor tree flying into another, then another, then... You get the picture.

When his victim finally stopped, about twenty apple trees had been uprooted, broken or toppled. Also, Applejack was glaring at him, jaw wide open, a dangerous twitching in her eye.

"Wh-wh-what in TARNATION?!"

Then she passed out.

(A few hours later, at Ponyville Hospital)

"Are you sure you're alright, Applejack?" Twilight asked. She and the other girls came as soon as Bon Clay warned them, "you seemed pretty shaken by what happened according to Bon Clay."

"Ah'm tellin' y'all Ah'm fine. Now Ah'd like to get back to my orchard and bury Bon somewhere."

"Silly AJ! Bon-chan is not a tree! If you plant him he's not going to grow little Bon-chans!" Pinkie paused for a second, deep in thoughts. "...Or maybe he would? Maybe that's how aliens have foals! How would we call them? Oooh! What about Pie Clay for a filly? No, wait. A Clay Pie wouldn't taste good at all! And-" her rambling was abruptly stopped by the Nurse Redheart's hoof.

"Excuse me, miss Pie, but our patients need their rest, including your friend here."

"Ah'm fine, nurse. Ah need tah go back tah my farm an' help Big Mac clean this darn mess."

"I'm sorry, miss Applejack, but we're keeping you in overnight, just in case. You shouldn't
overexert yourself for a few hours."

Applejack glared at her.

"Ah dun' wanna stay here ova'night, Ah want tah find Bon Clay and kill him."

"I'm afraid that would come under the heading of 'overexertion'," the nurse deadpanned before leaving along with the visitors.

Applejack spent the whole night thinking about how she was going to rip Bon Clay a new one.

Mission Oh Come My Way!

The return trip to Ponyville went without a hitch, although flying all the way from the meadow to town at full speed took its toll on the pegasus' stamina. However, Rainbow Dash quickly understood that leading her friends to "it" would take way too long...

...Except if we cut through the forest instead of walking around it.

It could be dangerous, but they couldn’t afford to waste any time. To come back fast enough, they would have to wander deep inside the forest, and to leave the main path, the one which leaded to Zecora’s home and, further away, the ruins of the Castle of Two Sisters.
Fluttershy once explained her that most of the creatures there were nocturnal, so they shouldn’t encounter anything too deadly… But the smell of the creature’s blood may be a problem on the way back. She shuddered at the thought – if she wanted things to go smoothly, she had to bring Fluttershy with them, which was easier said than done: it would take a lot of tact and patience to get the timorous mare to travel across the forest, and she was short on both.

Still, she had to try. She didn’t know how long the creature would survive its injuries, but she was sure that every minute would count.

What if it is already dead?

She stopped right on her tracks at the thought.

What if I abandoned it there, lost, alone, to die without anypony by its side?!

She banished the thought to a foreign part of her mind, and pushed even harder on her wings. She didn’t take the time to stretch them before taking off, and now the pain was difficultly bearable. She had no time to rest and tried to shrug it off, thinking she’ll have more than enough time to rest them while explaining the situation to her friends. If anything, her fear strengthened her will: sore wings are nothing a good nap can’t cure, and she had to come back before that creature di- ...before something bad happened.
Seriously, if it’s dead when we come back, I’ll KILL IT!

Why was she so worried about that weirdo anyway? She didn’t even know its species!
She never saw anything like that before, but then again she wasn’t an expert in fauna; the few animals she knew were birds or flying insects, the kind she could meet in-flight or during her mandatory daily nap. She never really bothered to learn about the earth-dwelling species, and she barely listened to Fluttershy when she went into one of her lecture on how cute and incredible her critters could be – a fact she slowly began to regret since this little incident. They never really had much in common, but maybe they could find something?

Maybe I could get myself a pet… Hey, maybe it could make a cool pet? ...Yeah, fat chance.

And yet, for some reason, she felt entitled with its survival. It was her duty to save it. There wasn’t any town or even a road close to its position, so she was most certainly the only pony to know the dire situation it was in. She was its only hope.

And I won’t let it down, no matter what!!

She finally reached Fluttershy’s cottage, but decided to go find Twilight first: she hated to admit it, but the unicorn mare, for all her awkwardness, was much better than her when it came to handle this kind of situation. She doubted she could persuade Fluttershy to come along without her “little egghead’s” help.

It didn’t matter much, anyway, as they would have to pass near the yellow-coated mare’s cottage on their way to the dying creature. Rainbow Dash never really understood why somepony terrified of her own shadow would live so close to the creepiest place in Equestria, but right now this proximity could save them a few precious minutes.

With great speed, the cyan-coated pegasus flew to the hollowed-out oak tree that sheltered her friend’s library and home. As usual, she dashed inside through an open window.
And as usual, she knocked over a shelf, letting its content collapse on her in an avalanche of books. Seriously, next time, I gotta use the bucking door.

The situation was grim. A small group of bystanders formed around the two parties. The tension was palpable.
A single drop of sweat fell from the negotiator’s forehead. If she failed to defuse the situation, the hostages may get hurt, and she wouldn’t let this happen. Fluttershy was, for once, ready to stand her ground.

Facing her, Angel Bunny, Fluttershy’s pet and domestic abuse given flesh, was standing in front of Mr. Mouse’s pint-sized house entrance, holding said mouse on the ground before him. The little demon (how ironic) was a fierce opponent, decided not to back up until his exigencies where filled. He had even planned against the Stare, as he was sure the collateral damage on the mouse would be too great for his mistress to dare to use her ace.

It would be a long afternoon…

Twilight finally got rid of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. When Applejack knocked at her door, she had to muster all her mental strength to keep her composure and stay as amiable as possible with her orange-coated friend. She wasn’t really angry at her, but she was on the verge of another of her legendaries nervous breakdown, and she felt like spending even a single more minute in their company would send her over the edge.

The latest incident implying Spike’s tail and an army of magically-summoned rat traps was still all too clear in her memory. It took her a full basket of sapphire to get the baby dragon to leave the basement he locked himself in, and even mentioning rat traps in front of him would now earn you a quick trip to Celestia. It was interesting to know his magical fire could transport a living pony, from a strictly scientific point of view, especially when you know the usual hour of the Royal bath…Ahem.

Now that she was alone with her number one assistant, they could get to clean the mess the fillies left behind them. The room looked like somepony offered Pinkie a whole coffeepot and let her loose. The thought sent a chill down the unicorn’s spine.
Last time Pinkie got a cup, she was declared by the local insurance company a "trotting act of Harmony" and an "Equine Earthquake" whose destructions didn't fell under their jurisdiction... Thankfully, the party pony didn't like the taste, and never drank another cup. Yet.

Note to self: Tonight, pray Celestia that Pinkie NEVER changes her mind.

She was still lost in recollection when a rainbow-colored bolt came through the room’s open window and crashed into the only shelf that was still mostly untouched – sending its content to the floor.

“Oh, come on!” Spike whined, anger clear in his voice. His expression was torn between absolute despair and fast-paced snorts of frustration. Put out, too tired to get angry anymore, he exiled himself to the bedroom, mumbling some guacamole-themed profanities while going up the stairs. He slammed the door behind him, as their unexpected guest finally managed to emerge from the mess of books on top of her.

“Rainbow, how many time did I tell you not to come through my win-“
“No time for that!” Rainbow Dash interrupted before bolting in front of her. “Twilight, you must come with me! Its life depends on it!”
“…Its?” The lavender unicorn asked, puzzled by the pegasus’ statement. She expected her to explain how her latest trick backfired spectacularly, but her friend's agitation and panicked voice indicated that something much worse happened. The cyan pegasus wasn’t one to panic easily; she would usually dismiss any issue she had as “not awesome enough to be worth it anyway”.

“Rainbow, calm down and explain me everything in detail. What is ‘it’ and what should I do?”

Rainbow Dash had expected her studious friend to ask for an explanation, so she prepared a short summary on the way. As fast as she could, she described the creature and its injuries, trying to be precise enough for the unicorn to figure it out. Twilight was listening carefully, using her magic to take notes on a piece of scroll lying on her desk. She winced as Rainbow depicted, in rather nauseating details, the creature’s condition: the bandages, the bleeding, the open wounds, that strange purple goo on his abdomen…
Purple goo? …Maybe some kind of ointment it used, trying to heal itself? Or …some kind of poison? I should take Super Naturals with me, it may help…

After a short silence, Twilight finally asked the pegasus mare about one particular detail that caught her attention.
“You said it had…hands?”
“Yup.”
“But that means she…”
“…will follow it everywhere until she gets it, yup,” completed Dash.
“…poor thing...”
“I know…”
They exchanged a sorry glance…and exploded in laughter. It did marvel on their nerves, the gravity of the situation lifting long enough for Twilight to get her saddlebags ready, filling them with various, potentially useful books such has Rare Creatures of Equestria or What the Hay was That: An Illustrated Guide. She added another one about medical spells and anti-poisons for good measure, and she was ready to leave.

Before stepping out, she shouted her instructions to Spike, knowing full well he was listening through the bedroom’s door.
“Spike! Please send a report about the situation to the Princess, and tell her I’ll bring her that creature once it recovered.” She paused for a second and sighed “You should maybe suggest her to send a medical team to Ponyville…I really don’t know what we’re dealing with here.”

Spike’s head was visible behind the half-opened door. “Hmm…You’re sure it’s not dangerous or something?” He was a bit scared at the perspective of his number one owner (number two being, of course, Rarity) traveling across the Everfree “Dude-That’s-Creepy” Forest to find an unknown injured monster.
The lavender mare knew that, but time was against them. No time to try and comfort him. She simply nodded at him with a reassuring smile and left the library, with the slight help of Rainbow Dash pushing her out from behind.

Bon Clay was still lying in the meadow. His condition was slowly deteriorating. At one point, he began to shake, assaulted by an incredibly high fever. The shaking didn’t do him any good – it re-opened more wounds, and if nothing was done quickly, he would probably bleed to death even before the toxins killed him – which wouldn’t take much longer anyway.
The once blessed sunlight itself was now working against him, burning his skin and making him sweat profusely. If the bleeding and the poisoning weren’t enough, now he was getting dehydrated. Even breathing became every minute harder than the last, his throat long since dried out and occluded at times by blood or bile.

Inside, the transvestite mind was trying to wrap itself around what was happening.
How can I be dying if I’m already dead?! That's just so damn unfair!

He couldn’t work it out. When he saw his surroundings earlier, it seemed obvious he was in the afterlife, but the all-to-physical pain that was nibbling through his body discarded this theory the hard way.
Or maybe was he mistaken? He expected this place to be the fabled Okama Fields, but maybe…maybe…was it Hell? How could he truly believe an assassin, a deceiver, a coward like him would be granted to walk the promised land?

No.

It was not time to think like that. He had to fight. To stay alive. To hold on and believe for a miracle to happen! Help will come, sooner or later, Bon Clay! Don’t disappoint them!

A pained cough shook his whole being, after what he vomited almost a gallon of bile and blood intertwined.

Although, sooner would be great…

Mugi-chan…

Twilight and Rainbow quickly reached Fluttershy’s cottage. The cyan-coated mare had shared her fear that the creature may try to attack them, and the lavender unicorn agreed that it would be more prudent to go fetch their gentle friend. Fluttershy was the greatest animal expert in Ponyville, maybe even in all of Equestria (although she wouldn’t ever admit it), her help was vital to this rescue.

Twilight knocked.

Inside, they could hear a small “Eep”, indicating the pegasus was home. “I-Um. I-I’m a little busy he-here…Pl-please come back later…” said a small voice.
“Fluttershy? Are you all right? What’s happening there, where are all your animals?” Twilight asked, concern evident in her voice.

Looking around her, Rainbow Dash realized that the place was indeed uncharacteristically calm. Not a single bird singing, no squirrels in the trees, not even one (cute little) bunny… Suddenly the complete silence became oppressing, uncanny. There was definitely something wrong going on here. We don’t have the time for this!
“Fluttershy! I found a creature far from town! It was hurt and alone! It needs your help!”

“Ooh…Oh my…I-I…give me a moment…” her voice was pained – it sounded like she was on the verge of tears.

“Fluttershy? Please tell us what’s the matter!” pressed the unicorn. Something was happening in there, but wh-

She remembered what Rarity told her in the morning.

“It’s Angel again, isn’t it?”

No answer.

“Flutters! Please! We really gotta go!” Rainbow Dash insisted. The dark thought from earlier crept back in her mind. Whatever it was that bothered her friend, it couldn’t be more important than that creature's life, especially for her!

“Please, Fluttershy! We must hurry! We need to get across Everfree Forest if we want to come in time to save it! We can’t waste much more time here!” pushed Twilight, almost pleading.

At the mention of the Everfree Forest, a frantic, yet incredibly timid shout could be heard inside. The silence returned for a handful seconds, which seemed to last hours. Finally, a little voice came from inside. An apologetic voice.

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…”

Suddenly, Rainbow Dash snapped.

An animal needed her. A poor, lonely, injured creature needed her. She couldn’t spend more time here, and Mr. Mouse understood that well. But Angel Bunny was there, stubborn as ever. Once he was angry, there were only two possible outcomes: he got what he wanted, or…

She was at the brim of tears.

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…” said sheepishly the pegasus, looking at Mr. Mouse. He faced her and saluted like a true soldier, ready to fulfill his duty and face his fate. Not the same could be said of Angel, sweating profusely, still hoping she wouldn’t dare to do that.

And at first, he was right. But one last cry came from the front door.
“IF WE DON’T HURRY IT’S GONNA DIE! IT’LL DIE, ALONE! WE MUST GO, NOW! …Please, Flutters!” The pain in Rainbow Dash's voice was more than Fluttershy could bear.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath…And Stared down at them. “YOU ARE NEVER, EVER THREATENING ONE OF MY FRIENDS LIKE THAT AGAIN, UNDERSTOOD, ANGEL?!”

The bunny, shaking like a leaf, nodded quickly, a terrified look on its face. Mr. Mouse wasn’t doing much better, but struggled to keep his salute, encouraging the sorrowful pegasus to keep going.

Five minutes later, after checking Mr. Mouse state and getting herself ready, she was at the door with her friends, ready to go. After a quick summary of the situation, they went full speed in the direction of the Everfree Forest. And she didn’t flinch.

I'm coming little friend! Don't worry, we'll save you!

Celestia be blessed, the travel through the forest went surprisingly smoothly, without any major incident. They were now in the meadow she first met it.

Rainbow Dash opened her wings and elevated a few meters above the ground – just enough to see it lying in the tall grass. Thankfully, it didn’t move.

…Actually, it didn’t move much…

…It wasn’t moving, at all.

“GIRLS! Quick! Follow me!” she dashed in its direction, and landed right next to it. She sighed in relief when she heard the loud breathing coming from the creature. “It’s still alive!”
She had to repress a urge to hug it, in fear it might made the situation even worse, somehow.

The other two finally caught up, and stared at the thing in front of them. It was just like Rainbow Dash described it: tall, slim, with a weird face and even weirder legs. It was wearing magenta trousers and-

Fluttershy rushed by its side when she saw the blood-covered bandages. She took its temperature with her hoof.
“He’s burning hot! He’s very, very sick!”

“What IS it, anyway?!” Rainbow Dash asked eagerly.

“I-I don’t know! I never saw anything like him! He-he must some kind of ape, but I never saw one like that before!”

Twilight had already checked and re-checked her books. “It’s…It’s not from Equestria. None of my books speak of a creature like that!”
She didn’t know if she should panic or enjoy meeting such a thing. It was unknown, how much was there to learn from it? Nothing, if we don’t save him first.

She snapped back into reality and checked the last book she brought. It was filled with a wide array of medical spells, from high-level bone-repairing spells to rather simple healing spells. Medical spells, however, were very complex in general and needed a deep knowledge of anatomy to be pulled off, knowledge she lacked for this particular creature. It could be dangerous, but they didn't have much of a choice. She never used these spells on somepony before, much less on a completely alien creature unconscious in the middle of nowhere!

“Twilight? I think we should do something about the bleeding, or he will die very soon! Also, I…I think he was poisoned. That’s probably linked to that purple goo there,” she pointed at the spot on his abdomen, not quite touching it with her hoof. “Finally, spending so much time under the sun without protection (she pointed at his face, showing there was barely any hair to protect it.) caused an insulation and a benign dehydration,” Fluttershy paused, still in full veterinary-mode. She turned to Twilight, a concerned look on her face.
“He won’t hold on much longer, and we can’t move him. Do you have any spell to stop the bleeding and cure or at least slow down the poison? Rainbow, fly to the river or a nearby cloud and bring back as much water as possible. We must help him rehydrate, wash the wounds and calm the fever. Then, we’ll be able to move him to Ponyville.”

The other two followed her orders without a word – when Fluttershy was bold enough to give you order, you didn’t discussed them. She was an expert, and even if she didn’t know the creature either, her knowledge in the field made her the most apt a taking the decisions.

Rainbow was already gone, taking a towel from Fluttershy’s saddlebag to get water. She would have to go back and forth between the river and their patient, as the cloud she had used earlier had been destroyed by her sudden departure, but it was still better than going all the way back to Ponyville to get a bucket. The river wasn’t that far away, so it wouldn’t take much time.

Twilight was casting the first spell. She decided that the best course of action would be to try and cure the poison first, to make sure it didn't degrade it-his (Fluttershy was insistent on the term) state further. It would be best to get that done first, and then using separate, easier spells to close his wounds.
She didn't know what the poison was, so she went for broad-spectrum antidote that she poured with as much magic as she could, hoping the additional energy would make it more effective.
Her horn was glowing, and soon the creature whole body was surrounded by a similar magenta glow. The light intensified, and in a flash, it was over.

Fluttershy inspected him carefully. It seemed his respiration was less painful, less interrupted. The purple ooze had been replaced by greenish smears, which indicated that he had been contaminated by more than one poison, and that at least one of them resisted Twilight's spell. More than one poison...What happened to you, you poor thing?
She meticulously took the bandages off, exposing the scarred skin, almost devoid of hair too. She couldn’t believe her eyes. There was half a dozen fresh bite marks, signs of concussions from a huge blunt object… He probably had been caught in the middle of a terrible fight.

“Hmm…Fluttershy? I can only close the wounds, I don’t think I can safely heal broken ribs or things like that…” pointed Twilight, worried and a bit sickened at the sight of the creature’s torso.
“It’s ok Twilight…Uh, I mean, we just need to stabilize him enough for you to move him with your magic…If that’s alright with you….”
“Of course, don’t worry about that…Look, Rainbow is back!”

Indeed, Rainbow Dash was approaching with a now drenched towel on her back, right between her wings. She landed next to Fluttershy, who immediately took the towel and gave her the blood-soaked bandages.

“Could you please wash them in the river? I-I don’t think I took enough bandages for him…sorry…”

“Don’t worry your little head about that! I’m on it!” the cyan-coated pegasus took off carefully, and headed back to the river. Meanwhile, her yellow counterpart was precociously lifting her new friend’s head, making sure his neck wasn’t damaged. She held it in place with her wing, and rose the towel over his face with both hooves.

Gently, in an almost motherly fashion, she pressed the towel on his lips, getting a few drops of water inside his mouth. Slowly, she repeated the same motion, over and over, before placing the towel on his forehead and putting his head back on the ground.

“…Arigato…”

Startled, she jumped a few feet away. She came back just as fast when she understood what was happening. He woke up.

“…Omae...Arigato...Honto ni arigato…”
“Sshhh, don’t exhaust yourself. You’re still very weak, you should just sleep while we take care of your injuries…poor thing…”
“…Arigato…Watashi wa...anata no...fusai ni imasu…” ("Thank you, I am in your debt")
Although she didn't understand his words, the meaning behind them wasn't lost on her, causing the meek pegasus to blush profusely.
“N-no need, I-I mean, we just did what was right. Sleep now, you need to save your energy.”

The pegasus hummed a sweet melody to guide him to Luna’s realm.

♪ Hush now, ♫quiet now,
It’s time to lay your sleepy head, ♫
♫ Hush now, quiet now, ♪
It’s time to go to bed… ♪

…A…Arigato!

A single tear dropped down his cheek has he fell back into slumber.

Princess Celestia, Co-Ruler of Equestria, Goddess of the Sun and, for some reason completely unrelated to her personal tastes, Saint Patron of Bakers, was relaxing in the Royal Gardens.

For a thousand years, it would have been unthinkable to take some time for her like this, simply enjoying the warmth of her sun and the beauty of Equestria. But since her dear sister was brought back to her, she could enjoy a few hours off, Luna taking care of about a fifth of the daily workload, with the objective of sharing equally in a year or two. Luna was quick to catch up on the laws – she did write most of the original ones, back in the days.
She couldn’t ever thank enough her wonderful student Twilight Sparkle and her friends, bringing back both her little Lulu and a country she hadn’t been able to enjoy for much too long.

“Well, look at that, when you speak of the devil…” she smiled tenderly, watching a familiar puff of green smoke floating to her. In a pop, a scroll appeared slightly above her head, falling to the floor before her.

Ever since the incident implying her protégé almost impaling herself on the alicorn’s humongous horn in the middle of the Royal baths, the Sun Goddess instinctively took a few step back every time she heard that popping sound – which got the Canterlot Elite thinking she had taken a sudden dislike for champagne. Thankfully, none of them jumped to the logical conclusion as to why a mare would suddenly avoid champagne... Or at least, none of them dared to voice it! Maybe I could have some fun with that, she thought mischievously.

She picked up the scroll using her magic, and opened it delicately – she didn’t forget that one time Pinkie put a pinch of pepper inside. She immediately recognized Spike’s crooked claw-writing.

Dear Princess Celestia,
Spike here. How his H.R.H. doing?

Rainbow Dash came to fetch Twilight earlier in the afternoon, in full panic-mode. She found some weird creature far from Ponyville…Apparently it’s a tall, almost hairless thing – and it got hands! (And she heard it sing, too!) From what she said, it’s in VERY bad shape, so they went with Fluttershy to take care of it. They suggested you sent a medical team here, just in case.

Twilight wants to bring it to Canterlot once it’s healed, if it’s really some kind of unknown creature like Rainbow said (she’s not really an expert in this field…Actually, scratch that, she wouldn't tell Winona and Opalescence apart if it wasn't for that damn cat all-consuming killing intent...Maybe I should slow down on the mangas, don't you think?). I guess she thought you would know what it is – or you would want to meet it anyway.

(Also, Rainbow said it looked strong, and even if I’m sure Fluttershy can take care of that…I may be a teeny-tiny bit worried that it tries to attack them…)

Your buddy,
Spike

She read the letter twice, making sure she understood fully each word. A creature with hands, that sings? That’s…new… She was staring at the sky, a hoof to her chin, making an effort to remember if she ever saw anything like that in her long life.
When nothing came to her mind, she let out a frustrated sigh. She took pride in knowing every single species that roamed under her Sun, being at least able to identify them. So…What was that?

She pondered the matter of the medical team – of course, saving the creature’s life was a priority, but what exactly could they do to help a completely unknown being that Twilight wouldn’t have done by the time they got there? She knew her protégé was the kind to massively underestimate herself, despite her accomplishments – defeating Nightmare Moon was no small achievement, and neither were facing a Dragon or an Ursa Minor.

And managing to make Luna drop the Royal Canterlot Voice is nothing short of a miracle.

She laughed at the thought, thinking how the Night Princess’ servants complained that after making them half-deaf she wasn’t speaking loud enough for them anymore, much to their distress. A good Hearing spell later and they were finally able to hold a conversation at a reasonable volume again.

She decided it may be wiser not to send anypony – if that was indeed a member of a new species, she would like to meet it before rumors spread. She knew Twilight and her friend Fluttershy (who proved to live up to her Cutie Mark, except maybe for the whole Philomena debacle) could take care of that thing just as well as anypony else she could send.
If there was any issue, they could fetch the zebra apothecary (or maybe druidess? She didn’t know much about her, outside of Twilight’s letters and her sister’s vague description of her magics) Zecora to help them.

Maybe I should go and help them too?

It was true she had plenty of free time on her hooves – apart from setting the Sun, which she could do from anywhere in the kingdom, she was done for the day – and she was quite curious about that creature… However, she had no idea where it was and it would probably take an hour or two to bring it back to Ponyville, so she might as well take the time to warn her sister…
Suddenly, it occurred to her. Something that should have been obvious, really.

How exactly am I supposed to leave the castle and go all the way to the library without causing a ruckus?

She remembered the Royal baths incident and a playful, yet slightly disturbing grin crept on her face.

I wonder if it works both ways?

The small group was traversing the Everfree Forest. Twilight was leading the way, levitating the sleeping creature right behind her. Fluttershy was floating above them, still inspecting his condition, holding the wet towel against his head and sterilizing wounds that Twilight didn't close to save energy for the travel. Rainbow Dash was flying in circles around the others, looking for eventual predators drawn by the smell of his blood.

Sure enough, a pack of timberwolves followed them, hidden behind the dark trees of the forest. Slowly, silent as an army of ghosts, they surrounded the unusual group, their mouths already dripping and their tongues hanging out.

“TIMBERWOLVES!” Rainbow Dash shouted, noticing too late the hungry beasts. She wanted to get down and catch Twilight, before flying away as fast as she could, Fluttershy on her toes. But what would happen of their new friend? He was too heavy for them to give him a lift, and the unicorn was already losing her focus on the levitation spell!

The leader of the pack came out first, standing right in front of the group. It was a darkened, colossal timberwolf covered in scars from past encounters. Its joints had been polished by years of friction and unlike most of his kind, no branch grew on its back, as they all broke long ago during some especially violent fights. Its yellowish eyes, glowing in a sickening fashion, were placed upon the ponies. They trespassed on its territory, a crime of lese-majesty for these beasts.
Wordlessly, it judged them, and found them to be rather appetizing.

It pronounced its merciless, dog-eat-dog verdict.

Its thundering howl was the cue the younger predators were waiting for. Jumping all at once from their hide, they formed a perfect circle around the ponies and the blood-covered creature, which was now lying on the ground. The only path to liberty was the sky, but how?

“Wh-wh-what are we going to do?!” Fluttershy was terrified, lying on the ground next to her patient, wings locked up in fear.

Behind her, Twilight was sweating profusely, trying to keep as many wolves as possible in her field of vision. “I- I can’t fight them all! I’m worn out from healing that thing!”

“C-c-can’t you t-teleport us?”

“I would barely be able to teleport us past them! That wouldn’t help at all! How are we supposed to outrun them with a dead weight?!”

“Then…Leave him here.”

They both turned in shock at Rainbow Dash. They didn't expect the Element of Loyalty, of all ponies, to suggest this.

“Twilight! You teleport with Fluttershy! I brought you in this mess; I won’t let you get hurt! Run as fast as you can, I’ll bring him with me!” The cyan-coated pegasus didn’t betray her element – torn between her loyalty to her friends and her devotion to the creature, she chose to help both as best as she could.

“N-No! We can’t do that! You can’t lift him! An-and they will catch us! Th-they….They are going to eat us!” Fluttershy was crying, trying her best not to run away. Not even the Stare could help here, with that many wolves.

”Kakurete” ("Hide")

“Wh-What?” The yellow-coated mare looked in turn at Twilight and Rainbow, but they were just as dumbfounded as she was. Who said that?

”Kakurete kudasai” ("Please, hide")

“Wh-what does- EEEEP!” Fluttershy almost passed out when she understood where the high-pitched, yet masculine voice was coming from. Their friend was awake.

”Anata ga...shina nai deshou! Okama ga...sore o... YURUSANAI DAROU!” ("You will not die! No Okama would allow that!" )

As the Okama stood, the wolves stopped dead on their track. They knew dying animals were the most dangerous preys, fighting with the last of their strength, to the bitter end, focusing solely on killing and maiming as many of its assailers as possible.

“Leader...Dore? Oshiete.” He could barely see his surroundings: vague spots of colors sat next to him – probably his saviors – and dark, gnarling masses crowded round them, carefully stepping toward the group.

“Leader...?"
"The big one in front of you! But…You can’t fight in this state! You can hardly stand!” Twilight was in the middle of an internal crisis. What shall she do? She had to act, fast, before he tried anything stup- Where is he going?! What the hay is he DOING?!!

The creature was standing in front of the biggest wolf, struggling to stay conscious, gradually striking what seemed to be a fighting stance. He tried to lift his right hind leg, but almost lost his balance. He tried again with his left one and managed to hold the pose.

“What are you doing?! RUN!”
“Y-y-you’re not-“
“GET THE HAY OUTTA THERE, YOU FEATHERBRAIN!”

The three ponies were too frightened to move. The wolves were waiting for an opening to charge and tear them to shreds. Any movement could be their last. And if it wasn’t bad enough, the creature they had so much trouble saving was going to be devoured in front of them.

“Okama Kenpo!”

The alpha male took a step forward, watching carefully the bipedal creature. It didn’t even flinch. Taking it as a sign of weakness, it leaped on its prey, all claws and teeth out.

“Dodge!” None of the ponies dared to watch what was coming next.

“Swan…ARABESQUE!”

The timberwolf, already in the air, couldn’t evade the kick. Bon Clay’s leg hit square in the jaw, a raspy wood crackle resounding in the forest as the animal yelped in pain. Propelled by the impact, it crashed in a tree a few meters away, its neck snapping loudly against the trunk.
The other wolves took a few step back, shaken by the sight. The leader of the pack was down, in a single hit.

“HE DID IT! HE DID IT! WHOHOOOO!” Fluttershy was shouting at the top of her lungs, bouncing gleefully on place, while her friends were staring, thunderstruck, at their savior.
Twilight was the first one to snap out of it. “Did…Did he just?”
“Kick a timberwolf to death?…Somehow, yeah…” the cyan pegasus’ mouth was still hanging, slightly open.

“To..To death? Oh…Oh my…” Fluttershy rushed at the timberwolf, passing by the creature as he started turning around to face the other wolves.

“Impel Down no Okotte ookami ni kurabete, anata wa kawaii koinuda! PREPARE YOURSELVES!” ("Compared to the mad wolves of Impel Down, you're cute puppies!")
He screamed at them, resuming his stance. He wouldn’t be able to fight them, of course. He was now completely blind, and it wouldn’t be long before he collapsed on the floor. He felt his feet turning to stone, his hands heavy like lead.
Thankfully, the young, inexperienced wolves didn’t notice his weakness and ran away as fast as their wooden limbs would allow them to.

The newfound silence was broken by a soft weeping. Fluttershy, her head sitting on the old beast’s torso, sadly confirmed its death.
“Hmm, Fluttershy? You know that thing tried to eat us, right?” Rainbow Dash was used to her friend’s endless compassion, but that was too much.

”It was gonna make ponyburgers outta us, for Pete’s sake!”

“I know…but…still…”

“Hmm…Girls?”
Before the rainbow-maned mare could point out the ridicule of the situation some more, Twilight showed with her hoof the spot where the creature was standing.

His earlier injuries caught up with him, his consciousness slipping again. He flashed them a content smile, taking a good half of his visage. Then, his grin still wide, he fell face-first to the ground.

Twilight’s horn lit up a bit, and soon the unconscious creature was floating next to her.
“Let’s go girls, before I pass out too.” she suggested, panting faintly.

Both pegasii nodded silently, and they resumed their march.

The ponies finally reached the edge of the Everfree Forest. They decided to make a halt at Fluttershy’s cottage, so that Twilight could rest a bit. Fluttershy took the opportunity to change the “Okama’s” bandages and clean the wounds he managed to re-re-open using some peroxide.

According to Rainbow Dash, “Kenpo refer to martial arts, so Okama Kenpo means Okama’s martial art, therefore he probably is an 'Okama'!…whatever that is”.

“You got that straight out of a Daring Do book, didn’t you?” Twilight eyed her suspiciously, munching on a daisy sandwich. She was resting in Fluttershy’s couch, trying to rebuild some of her magic’ reserves as fast as possible.

“Yeah, of course I read one of your boring books, egghead.”

Twilight didn’t pay heed to her friend’s comment. I’ll get her soon enough…
Her focus returned to her sandwich. It occurred earlier to the mare that it would be a bit tricky to get that…”Okama” all the way to the library without getting the attention of half the town. After a little discussion with the girls, they decided she should teleport herself back to the library with the creature and wait there for the pegasi before warning the Princess about their return.

“Um…Twilight? Are you ready? I did everything I could there…” The meek pegasus asked sheepishly, with her usual apologetic tone. The "Okama" was still in really bad shape, but at least he wasn't bleeding anymore and his fever had reduced to more manageable levels. He should live, and that alone made Fluttershy's heart...aflutter.

“Well…I’m not in top condition, but that’ll do. I really can’t wait anymore to show him to the Princess, I just want to know what he actually is!” She rose from the couch, walking to the still-unconscious creature.

“I told you it was an Okama!”

“Oh, but I don’t put your expertise –she soaked that word with so much sarcasm it could melt a rock- in doubt, Rainbow. I just want to know more about him!”

“But…um…What if the Princess doesn’t know what he is either? I-I mean, she probably knows, she knows so many things, but what if?” Fluttershy eyed the Okama sadly, panic starting to take hold of her. “You saw how strong he was? What…What if he’s super dangerous and the Princess banishes him? What if he’s the last of his kind? What i-“

“Fluttershy, calm down. He thanked us and saved our lives, I don’t think he’s going to eat us, and there’s no reason for the Princess to banish him. I think…Maybe? She wouldn’t do that! Or…Maybe she would?”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes at the two panicked mares.

“…I’ll bring you both flowers once you died of a stress-induced heart attack…Seriously gals, calm down! Let’s bring him to the library and call the Princess, she will know what to do.”

They both took a deep breath and visibly calmed down. Finally, Twilight spoke, a hint of surprise in her voice.

“Rainbow…When exactly did you become the voice of reason?”

“About the same time as you started nibbling on Flutters’ hoof.”

Both mares stared at her a few seconds before looking down.
They were indeed nibbling on each other hoof. They immediately took them out of the other’s reach, blushing hard enough to give a soft red glow to the whole room.

Twilight barely managed to compose herself before speaking again.

“…Right. Let’s never talk of that ever again. Ever. Meet me at the library as soon as possible!”

With that said, Twilight stood over the creature as her horn glowed in the usual magenta light. A small *pop* and they both disappeared.

Fluttershy kept her eyes locked on the spot the “Okama” was laying a second earlier. She managed, with some trouble, to get rid of her blush.

“I think we should go now…If that’s ok with you.” she turned to face Rainbow Dash, but the cyan-coated pegasus had already left, leaving the door of her cottage swinging open. “Oh. Oh my…”

She quickly readied herself and headed for Ponyville’s library.

Twilight reappeared in the middle of her library’s main room. She found herself muzzle to muzzle with Pinkie Pie. Startled, she fell backwards, landing between the legs of the Okama.

“You all-righty Twilight? I don't think you're supposed to be on your back like that. You’re a pony, you know, not a fainting goat! Oh, wait, you’re not part-fainting goat, are you? I never met a fainting goat before! I always wanted to prank one! But only once, it would be mean to pick up on- OH! What is this?! WHO is this?! CanIthrowhimawelcomeparty?!”

“PINKIIIIE!”

“Yes Twilight?” the pink pony was looking at her quizzically, her eyes glittering in boundless joy, completely oblivious to her friend’s exasperation.

“Ughh…Listen ok? I’m all right, I’m NOT part-fainting goat, I don’t know yet who or what he is and you’ll have to wait for the party – right now we’re going to call Princess Celestia to see if she knows something about him or if she could at least heal him completely, so that he’ll explain us who he is. Got that?”

“Yup! I have until tomorrow to plan the party!” she said cheerfully as Twilight’s right hoof met with her own forehead at neck-breaking speed.

Spike entered the room; leaving the kitchen with a “light summer snack” (It was his way to shorten “Enough ice cream to give Celestia a brain freeze” into an innocent phrase).

As soon as he saw Twilight, he let out a sigh of relief, finally rid of his concern. He also somehow managed to put the ice cream back in the freezer without actually breaking eye contact, which was a Pinkie Pie-level abuse of the laws of nature – not that anypony cared much for those anymore, apart from a poor, poor lavender unicorn.

“Twilight! I was so worried! Princess Celestia didn’t answer your letter about him, before you ask.” He was pointing as the huge….guy?...laying senseless in the middle of the room. It looks like a he…But it wears more make-up than Señora Rarity… Ugh, just what kind of weirdo did she brought here?!

He was snapped out of his internal monologue by his big sister’s voice.
“Spike! Sorry for worrying you, but we’ve got a big matter in our hooves. We need to arrange him some kind of bed, I don’t think he should rest on the floor in his state…”

“Okie dokie lokie! Done!”

The unicorn turned to face Pinkie Pie. She had arranged a bunch of flour bags to make some kind of mattress, long enough for the creature to lay on.
“…Where do these bags come from? You kept them in your mane or something?” Twilight was suspecting Pinkie to be hiding a Bag of Infinite Holding in her mane, but never managed to actually find it. Or to prove such a thing exists.
She was pretty uncomfortable to admit it, but she wouldn’t have been surprised at all if the hyperactive mare just “pinkied” them out of thin air.

“Of course not you silly! I keep bags of flour in everypony’s house, in case of baking emergency!”

“…Obviously…” She was a bit scared at the thought that she may hide OTHERS things in her house without her knowledge. I’ll have to fit “Complete library double-check” in tomorrow’s schedule… “…Did you hide anything else here?”

“Well,Duh. I have to be ready for ANY situation ANYWHERE, you know!”

Ok, make that a triple check.

The door slammed open as Rainbow Dash entered the library, followed closely by Applejack and Rarity. The cyan-coated pegasus thought it would be a good idea to bring them along. Fluttershy’s head perked in when Rarity went to close it.

“Well…Everypony is here…Spike! Warn Princess Celestia that we’re ready here!”

“Ready for what, dear? I’m sorry, but nopony took time to explain me what was going on.” When Rainbow came to fetch her, Rarity followed immediately out of habit. Carrousel Boutique was pretty calm today, so she could deal with the weekly oddity…Or have a nice tea party with the girls. It’s NEVER the tea party… She sighed.

“Ah’m with Rare on this one. Just what’s goin’ on gals? Ah was told somepony needed some mighty lots of ‘elp” Applejack wasn’t even sure of this much – Rainbow Dash more or less mumbled a few words before dragging her here.

Twilight silently pointed at the creature, now resting on Pinkie’s hoof-made mattress. Both mares gasped, their jaws hanging a bit.

“What in tarnation?!”

“Are…Are these hands?” Rarity’s eyes literally lit up and her lips locked in a very un-ladylike grin, making her virtually indiscernible from a Nightmare Night pumpkin – save for the color. “I’ll finally be able to get another of those delicious massages! And not from one of these dirty monkeys with their dirty fingers they put…There”
The unicorn shuddered at the thought. She spent a full week in her bathtub trying to “wash the stain” after that little incident.

“Well, it will probably take some time for the Princess to come here, so I’ll explain you everything in detail. You see-“

Celestia's arrival! + Twilight's brain

Author's notes:
Hello everynyan~! I'm back, with another rewritten chapter!
We're coming closer to new content! ...Maybe you'll even get something brand new to read before Christmas, who knows? :p

Also, I know I promised some Okamakes (little additional stories, mostly canon but which didn't fit in the actual chapters and don't really follow any chronological order), but aside from my first (rather lame, I concede) attempt in the first chapter (and the trivia in the prologue, which was...even lamer), you'll have to wait some more to get them. Don't worry, I have some planned (3, actually, and others will probably appears in the meantime), but they'd be rather spoilerific if I posted them now.^^'

By the way, if you have suggestions for the Okamakes, or anything to say about the story,don't forget to comment...Actually, even if you don't have anything to say (or if you just want to complain for something, that's fine too), post a comment about it. It's always nice to see people actually read this silly thing!

...Alright, I'm just an attention whore. But I could really use a little ego boost currently :p

Anyway, enjoy this (somewhat) new chapter!~ RaptorJesus

Derpy Doo finally reached the house she shared with Doctor Whooves and Golden Harvest. Carrot Top - the surname Golden Harvest went with, because of her carrot-selling business and her bright orange mane - was an old friend of Derpy, and they had added the Doctor to their group a few years ago. Together, they could afford to rent an old house with enough room for the three of them and Dinky, Derpy's daughter.

Carrot Top would probably be working now, selling her family’s carrots on the market.
It didn’t matter too much, as she mostly wanted to talk with the Doctor. The overly-stressed, time-obsessed pony was quite knowledgeable when it came to weird stuff (Well, not Pinkie Pie-weird, but weirder-than-usual-weird.), although it probably came with the fact he was rather strange himself. It didn't change the fact that as a doctor he could help with the current situation, and being one of the few ponies who trusted her and her opinions didn't hurt either.

Most ponies in town knew her only as Ponyville's bubbly, clumsy mailmare. While it was true she was clumsy, it was mostly her eyes' fault (her tendency to break everything she laid her hooves on didn't help...). For some reason, her eyes seemed to hate each other with a passion, never fixing on the same point. Why? How? She had no idea.

Although it may be related to that one time she accidentally carved her face on an anvil. From beneath the anvil.

It’s a huge pain to see straight, but it has an advantage! I have the largest field of vision known to ponykind! She giggled.

It was true it came in handy at times – today, for example. Who else would have seen Twilight Sparkle, Ponyville's new librarian and shenanigan magnet, get into Fluttershy’s cottage with a bloodied creature while taking a break on a cloud above?

She opened the door, and was greeted by her little Muffin (Derpy has a tendency to call ponies by a treat name) reading with her best friend. Ever since Nightmare Night, Dinky and Pipsqueak were inseparable, always playing together or with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Looking closely at the books they were holding (at the same time, actually) she could see pictures of Princess Luna on both covers. Pip wasn’t kidding when he said she was her favorite Princess…

“Hey there! How are my favorite Muffin and Cookie doing?”

The foals turned at once, startled by the voice behind them. When they saw Derpy standing there, both beamed.

“Mommy!” Dinky was already hugging and nuzzling her. Until she met Pip, her mother was her best friend – and they still did a lot of things together with the Doc. It was always lots of fun, even if it involved an awful lot of running. She never quite understood why.

“Miss Doo!” Pipsqueak joined Dinky in her hug. Miss Doo was a really nice mare, always happy to see him and to play along with the foals. She also made legendary muffins. He never ate anything so delicious when he was in Trottingham.

“So, you two were reading about Princess Luna?” She was looking at them both, one eye each, smiling gently as she returned their hugs.

“Oh yes! Pip wanted to find a gift for the Princess next time she comes to Ponyville!” Dinky enthusiastically explained, smiling broadly at her mother.

“I really wanted to thank her for the fun we had during Nightmare Night…But I don’t know much about her, really, so I asked Dinky to help me find something she would like.”

She was so proud of these two. She was rather fond of Luna herself, in her opinion the Princess was pretty funny and pretty – period.
Derpy actually found her idea of giving life to the fake spiders hilarious, if only for the face the Doctor made as he ran away from an especially shaggy one. Not that he wasn't terrified of the others spiders; the intellectual pony sounded incredibly silly, screaming like a little filly because of his arachnophobia.
She chuckled before trying her best to focus her eyes on Pip.

“Did you find something she’d like? I can help if you want!…Or maybe ask someone else for help if you need precise work. It’s not really my specialty…” She was scratching the back of her head with a foreleg, sticking her tongue out a little in an humorous fashion.

“Thank you, but I think we’ll need to ask Miss Twilight for help. We found something nice but it’ll need a lot of magic!”

“Magic? Twilight? Oh my! I almost forgot why I came here so early in the first place! Is Brownie here?”

“Yep! The Doc is in his super-secret bedroo- I mean, 'lab'.”

Derpy blinked. “You mean his wardrobe?” One day I'll have to ask him why he spends his nights in there. That just can't be comfortable! She pondered the question for an instant. ...Maybe it's bigger on the inside, and there's a super giant deluxe cloud bed in there?
...
Nah...

“Yep, his wardrobe. What do you need him for?”

“Oh. Well, you see-“

“…And that’s how I got my Cutie Mark”

“Err…Pinkie? I was the one talking, and I was summing up what happened this afternoon…” Twilight was warily eyeing the pink pony.

“Pinkie Pie, you’re so random.” Dash said flatly. It had lost its meaning a while ago, becoming some kind of a daily tradition.

“…So…Lemme guess: Now we wait for the Princess tah com’ here and tell us what that handed-thingy right there is?”

“Yes, that’s right, Applejack. But don’t worry, now that Spike sent the letter, it should only take her about an hour…maybe two to come here by flying chariot.” Twilight wasn’t fazed the slightest by her friends’ curiosity.
Usually, she would be the one trying to vivisect the creature to learn more about him, but her dear, dear, dear mentor[1] would be there soon – it had been so long since the last time they got to spend some time together!

Unexpectedly, somepony knocked on the door. Before anypony else even had the time to register the information coming from their ears, the lavender unicorn was already opening the door to the Princ- Doctor. It was…Doctor Whooves. Not the Princess.

She slammed the door shut.

[1]Subtlety? Who cares for subtlety?

“…Well, at least we know she’s home – and that creature you saw is probably with her, Miss Doo.” The Doc said matter-of-factly, all the while rubbing his sore face in a rather comical fashion. He insisted on his forehead, a bit above his eyebrows, that seemed to be particularly painful.
“Fantastic...Should have known better than getting my head inside.”

They had left as soon as Derpy had finished her story, the Doctor seeming to be in a hurry as usual. It was no wonder the stallion had an hourglass for a Cutie Mark...
Before leaving, the dirty blonde mare had sent Dinky and Pip to play with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who had decided to go and try to catch some frogs at the nearby Bog.
...Which may not have been the smartest choice...

The door opened again. Twilight Sparkle seemed to have calmed down. When she crossed their glance she blushed deeply, interested all of a sudden by her own forehooves.
“Err…I’m sorry…For the door. I was expecting somepony else, and I guess frustration acted before my brain.” She offered them a sheepish smile.
Derpy and the Doctor weren’t the kind of pony to hold grudge for some trivial matter. They shared a laugh before turning back to her.

“Don’t worry for that, Miss Sparkle! We just came to see if I could help somehow with the matter on hooves, if you catch my drift.”

The lavender unicorn was taken aback by the Doc’s overtone. How does he know?!
Doctor Whooves had always stroke her as odd. He looked rather plain, with his brown coat and mane. Even his Cutie Mark was pretty common as far as time-related Cutie Marks went… And yet he stood out, with his tie and hoof-watch that seemed to be glued to his body. It was like he tried to be as unremarkable as possible...And failed epically without even noticing.
She stared at them, an uneasy smile spreading across her face.

Out of the blue, a loud sound came from inside, interrupting the awkward silence. It was a deep, booming sound, that none of them managed to identify.

They ran inside to find the source of that noise. The ponies inside were all frozen in place, looking wide-eyed at the creature.

“What happened?!” Twilight and Whooves shouted in unison.

The first one to react was Fluttershy. “I…I think he just yawned.”

“THAT was a yawn?! I felt the ground trembling!” commented Rainbow Dash, who was in the middle of an impromptu nap when she was awoken by what sounded like an angry Manticore.

“Erm…Sugarcube? Ya recall that ol’ legend ‘bout Nightmare Moon gobbling ponies up?” Applejack’s legs were shaking a bit as she tried to turn to Twilight without letting the creature out of her field of vision.

“Well, yes, but-“
“ ’cause Ah’m quite sure he could’ve gobbled Big Mac whole with that big mouth of his.”

“…You’re kidding right? I know his head is big, but he can’t possibly-“ Twilight couldn't finish her sentence as the creature yawned again.

She could only watch in horror as his jaw managed to open all the way down to his torso, revealing an over-sized mouth full of humongous teeth. Applejack was exaggerating, but not by much – a couple of foals would probably have been able to sleep comfortably in there.

“Hmm...Miss Fluttershy? Did you check if he was…you know…carnivorous?” the Doctor suggested. He never saw anything like the creature sleeping in front of him, but given the size of its oral cavity, it was vain to hope he would feed of “love and fresh water”…

“Y-yes…He’s not dangerous, I-I think…I mean, he’s got both incisors and molars, so he’s…probably…omnivorous.” Despite her usual timidity, the meek pegasus was the least affected of the group. Actually, she was relieved: yawning meant he was asleep and no longer unconscious – it was an improvement!

The Doctor reached for his tie with a hoof, and grabbed the strange device he kept there at all times, held in place by a rubber band. It looked like a cross between a pen and a flashlight, with a green light at one extremity.
He approached the creature, device in mouth, and turned it on. The green light shone brightly upon the Okama's form, who was soon encompassed by an emerald green aura. Everypony was focused on the device, wondering how such an insignificant thing could do...whatever it was doing.
The aura receded and the good Doctor turned off the device before returning it to its place.
"According to the little test I put him through, he's indeed omnivorous. He also got several broken ribs, severely damaged intestines and a dozen different toxins in his blood..." he turned to Fluttershy. "If you didn't take care of him, he would most likely be dead by now."

Fluttershy blushed, arguing that it was Rainbow who found him and Twilight who did most of the healing. The Doctor was about to comment on how she was selling herself short, but was interrupted by an intrigued Twilight Sparkle.

"What was that device you used? I've never seen something like that before..."

The Doc seemed a bit anxious at the question, but answered nonetheless. "Oh, that old thing? It's, erm, a Magic Stethoscope...er. Magic Stethoscoper. It uses magic stored in a crystal to work... By the way, could you explain to Derpy and me what we missed? He should wake up in a few minutes, it would be nice if we were up to speed with the situation before then."

As he hoped, it managed to turn Twilight attention away from his "Magic Stethoscoper". Once more, she explained the situation.

Twilight wished Princess Celestia could be there already. The creature looked like he was about to wake up at any moment, and right now she couldn’t really think straight. Almost everypony here was scared of him, except for Fluttershy who was by his side despite Rarity and Applejack’s protests. Derpy Doo and the Doctor didn't seem all that bothered by his presence, but still kept a safety distance between them and him.

Spike carefully returned to the kitchen. “I’ll cook something. If he wakes up hungry, I hope he'll go for the snack that doesn’t scream in terror.”

“Spike! That’s mean! Oh ...I’m sorry… But he wouldn’t harm a fly, I’m sure!”

“Fluttershy? You remember he turned a timberwolf- a big, scary one - into kindling, right?” Rainbow Dash’s voice sounded a lot more excited than she intended. He was freakin’ awesome back there!
“He’s far from harmless, but I’m with you on this one. He saved us, we should at least leave him a chance – we didn’t even get to speak with him yet!”

Fluttershy blushed. “Th-thank you Rainbow…”

“I hope Fluttershy is right… Well, I’ll protect Lady Rarity no matter what!” the little dragon said to nopony in particular, bringing a wooden spoon to his torso like a knight would with his sword. It would be almost convincing if he wasn't wearing the cutest pink apron anyone not named Kitty White had the rights to wear, courtesy of the fashionista unicorn. He always liked cooking, but now that it was an occasion to wear something made by Rarity, he loved cooking. Manliness be damned.

“Now…What should I cook him? We don’t have meat or anything like that, and I doubt he would eat gems… Maybe a salad?” Spike was checking the fridge, searching for inspiration.

“I wonder if he likes ice cream? GAH!” He fell to the floor, a sharp pain in his stomach paralyzing him. Ok, message understood tummy. No more snacks! Can you stop torturing me, please?!

As a new wave of pain came, he realized that he knew this feeling. He would feel like that about once a week, whenever Princess Celestia wrote a letter to Twilight. But it was much bigger than usual, excruciating even, while the average letter barely itched. Did she send every single medical book in Canterlot?!

He could feel the green fire burning in his throat. Much more than usual. It was a big delivery, whatever it was. He was a bit scared about the whole thing – he was facing the opened fridge, unable to move. …I’m not sure that will fit in there…
He tried to call for help, his mouth opening oh-so-slightly…and everything went south.

A loud noise in the kitchen startled everypony in the room. Fluttershy darted behind Derpy and Pinkie, who barely noticed the others’ agitation, still discussing whether cupcakes or muffins were the best baked goods ever.
"Oatmeal? Are you crazy?! Cranberries Cupcakes beat Oatmeal Muffins by a mile!"
"Sorry Cotton Candy, (Derpy has a tendency to call ponies by a treat name) but nothing beats Blueberries Muffins."
...That kept going for a while. A LONG while.

“Spike!” Twilight rushed in the kitchen, followed closely by Rarity.
“Spike, darling! Are you alright?”

Applejack and Rainbow Dash left the room too, leaving the others to watch over the creature to help the unicorns with whatever happened in the kitchen.

Twilight looked at her kitchen. Or what was left of it. Okay, calm down Twilight. Analyze the situation. Calmly.

She looked all around her.

There’s food everywhere in the room, but we can clean it. Stay calm.

Spike is groggy and laying on his back. Nothing Fluttershy can’t cure. Probably. Stay calm.

Princess Celestia is stuck in the fridge. You are hallucinating. Stay calm.

She just asked you for a little help. You are NOT hallucinating. Time to panic.

Her right eye twitched as her brain tried to understand just WHAT THE HAY was happening. Around her, her friends were just as dumbstruck, although Rarity managed to levitate Spike on her back before noticing the Princess and joining the slack-jawed crowd. At this instant, everypony in the room shared one same thought.

Awkwaaaaard…

Twilight's brain

[Meanwhile, in Twilight's "Center of Command"]

A perfect copy of Twilight was barking orders at a herd of mini-Twilights, each sitting in front of a computer, typing frantically on their keyboards, analyzing everything that was sent by their Master's senses. One of the mini-Twilights suddenly dropped her work and ran to her, panicked.

"Organization, Sir! You are needed at the meeting board! We have a C-666!"

"C-666? Celestia looking ridiculous?! Dammit!" Organization fled from the room, heading for the emergency meeting.

She was greeted by an ancient-looking stallion, draped in a cape and wearing a wizard hat covered in tiny bells. Stroking his long white beard in an effort to calm his nerves, Twilight's Reason invited her to take her seat, between Anger and Madness.

"My friends," the stallion began, "we face a crisis without precedent. We have been informed by the Eyes that Princess Celestia is currently stuck halfway in the Master's fridge. The sight has been confirmed as being too humorous to disregard. What are your suggestions?"

The white, burning unicorn sitting next to Organization spoke first.
"I say we use-"
"Anger. We are NOT going to use neurotoxins. We don't even HAVE neurotoxins. Stop trying to solve everything by dissolving ponies' brains," interrupted Reason.
The Rapidash clone shrugged. "Fine. Screw you."

A disheveled, frantic Twilight lifted her hoof in the air, impatiently waiting to be picked.

Reason sighed. "What is it, Madness?"

"Gimme control! Gimme control! Gimme gimme gimme honeeeey~ ♫"

Madness left the room, still singing.

"Useless piece of-" muttered Anger, before being interrupted once again, this time by an eyepatch-wearing Twilight.

"We're not going anywhere like this. Anger, shut up. Organization, please go find Madness, we can't let that loony roaming freely in there. Reason, call the President. In the end, she's always the one to take the decisions, why do we even bother with these meetings? I'd be better off training..." declared Power, and everypony in the room sagely followed her orders. You didn't want to see her angry.

A few seconds later, the President was here, listening to the situation with her back turned to the assembled ponies.

"What should we do, Ms.President?" Reason asked.

Slowly, the President's chair turned, revealing a pony-sized Smarty Pants sitting with a panicked expression.

"SHUT. DOWN. EVERYTHING!"

Meet the Okama: Hello Sunshine!

Author's Notes:
Hello everynyan!~

Please, read the Okamake "Twilight's brain" that was added to the last chapter before reading this one. Seriously, I swear it is fun. At least, I had an incredible lot of fun writing it xD (I wonder if I'm not even going to write a full one-shot based off the concept - tell me if you are interested in reading/writing it)

Also, this new chapter is still part of the rewrite, things will really begin to change next chapter... There may even be a fight!

~Enjoy! RaptorJesus

After explaining the whole story to Luna, Celestia decided to wait patiently in her personal library. It was the only one she could enter now without feeling guilty for her constant snickering. Nopony would dare to kick her out of the palace’s great library, of course, but it would be…”uncouth”, as Rarity would say.

Luna was just as curious as her. The description Twilight gave them fitted no nocturnal creature her sister could think of... And because of her duties she would have to wait almost until moonrise to see it.

Needless to say, it sent her right back to the Royal Canterlot Voice.

The Goddess of the Sun would never forget the face of the poor counselor who informed her sister that her next (and last) appointment was Prince “How-dare-you-breathe-my-air” Blueblood. Luna’s cry of exasperation made the whole room shake, breaking a few windows, and the poor pony almost passed out of sheer terror.
A full afternoon with Blueblood...I'd rather face off Discord again!

Celestia decided it was best to leave quickly, fighting to keep her composure until nopony could see or hear her laugh her plot off. She laughed for a few minutes, old memories of similar events pouring oil on the already blazing fire, until her ribs hurt too much to keep going.

She sat there, comfortably installed in an oversized cushion. She levitated a few books from the furthest shelf to her desk, wondering which one she should open first. She finally chose an especially massive encyclopedia, which was about as thick as it was tall. The cover read ’Equestria’s Tax System : The Basics’. Memories of a cute little lavender filly bouncing in joy whenever she saw that book flooded back in her mind.

It was Twilight’s favorite book as a filly, I think! She chuckled a bit before opening it.

The book was hollowed out, concealing a jar of macadamia nuts cookies.

“My favorite!~♫” the alicorn said in a sing-song voice. She proceeded to open the other books, revealing a complete porcelain tea set, a bottle of water, a small bag of sugar and her beloved Darjeeling. Warming the water using her powers, she could quickly enjoy her little snack.

“Now that I have some free time, I should really invite Twilight to share a cup… Well, I’ll be able to see her today, I’ll ask her if we have the time…” she took a sip of tea before biting greedily on a cookie. Although I get to keep those for myself…

Her drink finished and the jar emptied, the Princess of the Sun was positively bored. She wasn’t really used to spending time alone anymore, either being too busy, tired or spending it with Twilight or Luna. What would those two do I my situation…Oh, of course!

She began repeating what she would say to the creature when they’ll meet, like the awkward mares would do. It was more difficult than expected.

“How should I greet him? 'Welcome to Equestria, please don't kill anypony?' ...No, that would be insulting..." She grew serious for a moment.

"In the name of Our ponies, We welcome you to Equestria, stranger - we wish you no harm."

She paused for an instant, owed by the sheer power these words held, before her thoughts process returned.
...That has to be the coolest thing I've said since the end of the Griffon War...

She was still looking for the perfect formulation when a green puff of smoke came in through the window. At the sight, she clapped her forehooves in trepidation, her previous thoughts already forgotten.

“I’ll finally be able to try that!” she grinned a bit, but immediately regained her composure.

Her little ponies would be there, as well as the creature – if it was awake. She had to look 'natural', which meant dead serious yet tender, a warm and soft smile on her lips.

“Let’s greet our new friend!”

With that said, she casted the spell and disappeared in a cloud of green smoke.

I was wondering why I never tried that before. Now I remember.

She was trying to get out of her protégé’s fridge, pushing on her hind legs with all her might. Despite her efforts, her royal rump was stuck. Maybe I should use my free time to exercise a bit…

“Ahem…Could somepony lend me a hoof? I'm afraid that I might be... stuck,” said the alicorn, fighting to keep a burst of laughter in control. She didn’t really need more ponies to be alerted by the sound and see her in this position.
...Actually, better cast a sound-proofing spell, just in case.

Her flashy entrance had been a success, in a way – if only because Twilight’s face had been replaced by a pair of eyeballs, with a jaw hanging loose. I should get out of there fast...I think her poor brain is going to go in overdrive if I stay in her fridge any longer...

With her little ponies still stunned and her backside freezing, she finally resolved to teleport herself in the middle of the room – hopefully not carrying the fridge on her way. With any luck…

It is a very little-known fact that "Luck" is, actually, a vampire-like entity. Which would explain why virgins tends to survive horror movies longer than any other demographic. Or how Stephanie Meyer managed to make a fortune out of a girl's choice between bestiality and necrophilia.
Luck is a sissy vampire.

And today, Luck was craving for Celestia’s blood.

The alicorn reappeared in the middle of the kitchen, still stuck in the now-unstable fridge, menacing to send her to the ground and crush her. Well then, let’s do it the hard way!

The Princess of the Sun charged her magic… and blew up the fridge. If it wasn't for her soundproofing spell, half of Ponyville would be aware of the incident. Thankfully, it was only her, a barely-conscious Spike and the (barely-conscious) girls. And she was finally out of that stupid fridge.

HUZZAH! She was dying of laughter inside, ready to burst at any instant. It was certainly the most awkward situation she had found herself since…Well, the “Royal Baths Living Telegraph” incident. She was blushing like a schoolfilly on her first date.

She squinted at a dandelion which had ended up on her muzzle. Oh, that reminds me…

With a quick spell, she fixed the various stains the poor, harmless vegetables left on her candid coat. She also got rid of the scrambled eggs in her mane. And the tomatoes impaled on her horn. All six of them.

“P-P-P-P-Princess? Did you…Did you just blew up my fridge?” Twilight was in a somewhat complicated state of mind. Somewhere between indignation, amusement[1] and utter terror[2]. Mostly terror. Her friends where pretty much in the same state, except for Rainbow Dash who seemed to be struggling not to roll on the floor laughing. And failing lamentably.

“Oh…Err, about that…”

With a speed that would make Rainbow Dash jealous, Celestia ran to each mare, striking at both sides of their temple with precise pressure hoof strikes, before returning to her previous position next to the smoldering rests of Twilight's fridge.

"Shockwave of Forgetfulness."

The young mares blinked, suddenly coming back to their senses. They looked around, not quite understanding why somepony unleashed a coffee-high Pinkie in Twilight's kitchen. At least, it was the only explanation their brain managed to come up with for the warzone they were standing in.

“Princess!! Are you alright?!” the panicked lavender unicorn asked as she almost jumped at her mentor’s neck. Managing to get a hold of herself, she settled for a worried nuzzle and a torrent of apologies.

“I’m quite alright, my beloved student.” The alicorn mentally sighed at her feigned aloofness. I really wish I could at least have fun with Twilight’s friends… I hope this creature will make this day lighter...
“My apologies for your fridge. It seems this long-distance teleportation spell I wished to try still needs some work. I’ll make sure to have a new one sent to you as soon as I return to Canterlot – twice bigger than the old one.”

“Oh thank you so much Princess!”

“That truly is quite generous of you, Princess.”

“Now’ that’s ma’ Princess!” Rarity shot an angry glare to the farmer mare.
“…Ah mean, our mighty Princess!” This time, the white unicorn rolled her eyes, muttering "Uncouth" under her breath.

“The Princess is here! Time to wake him up!” Rainbow Dash rushed in the main room, everypony following her with a more refrained enthusiasm.

[1] If you are wondering, Joy is represented in Twilight's psyche by her filly self.
[2] ...Three guesses to which character from the Okamake represents Terror?

The Princess entered the main room along with the mares and a still unconscious Spike. She quickly spotted the creature, laying on a makeshift mattress, with Fluttershy and a brown-coated stallion she had never met taking off its bandages.

It truly was like nothing Celestia had seen before, but what caught her attention wasn't its appearance: she was taken aback by the incredible number of scars, bite marks and burns covering its body. The worst part was that it all seemed so...fresh, none of these marks could have been made more than three days prior. What happened to you, you poor thing? The last couple of days have been pretty tough on you, it seems...

"How is it faring?" she asked calmly, her gaze not leaving the creature laying before her.

Her question caused a sudden burst of agitation, as the startled ponies hadn't seen her entering the room. After a quick bow, the Doctor went straight to business. He seemed a bit nervous to talk with the Princess, but who wouldn't?

"He should wake up soon... But he withstood quite a lot of internal damage and have been poisoned with at least a dozen unknown toxins. I can't believe how resilient he is..." He gave him a quick glance. "I don't know where he's coming from, your Majesty, but somepony wanted him dead...Although I doubt a pony did that. According to miss Fluttershy here, he spoke to them in a dialect they didn't understand, even if some words were similar to Equestrian. He probably came from far away from our borders."

"You could say that, Mister..."

"Whooves. Doctor Whooves. Everypony calls me the Doctor...or Brownie. Don't ask," he answered faster than even Pinkie could babble.

"I... see... Anyhow, I'm afraid I've never seen anything quite like him in my long life, which would suggest he comes from even further than that."

Pinkie bolted in front of the Princess, who barely resisted the urge to yelp in surprise. If Discord wasn't sitting in my gardens, I would believe he reincarnated... Although she's definitely way too sweet to be related to that monster.

"You mean it's an alien?! I've never had an alien friend! I gotta throw him one super-duper fantastic 'Welcome To Equestria - Please Don't Invade Us' party!"

The Princess smiled at the party pony enthusiasm. True, she was a tad concerned with the party's name, but at least she could count on her to make sure their guest didn't feel too homesick.

"Before throwing him a party, we need to fix him up and find a way to communicate. Twilight?"

At the mention of her name, the lavender unicorn walked to her mentor's side. "Yes, Princess?"

"Could you do me a favor and teach him Equestrian while I heal his ribs and organs?"

Twilight seemed hesitant for a second, until she understood what the Princess wanted her to do. "You want me to cast on him the same spell we use to teach deaf foals how to speak until they grow up enough to be healed?"

Celestia smiled proudly at her student's ingenuity. She simply wanted her to cast a translation spell, but her solution was both easier to apply and more effective on the long-term, as the translation spell would have to be renewed every month.
"Brilliant idea, my faithful student. Now let us begin, should we?"

Beaming and blushing at the praise, which made her look like a toothy strawberry, Twilight followed her mentor to the creature's bedside. Their horns lit up, his body glowing a soft golden hue while his head was encased in a magenta glow, his eyes moving quickly and erratically under his eyelids. It took them both about five minutes to get their part done.

As her magic receded, Princess Celestia frowned. "I managed to repair his bones and stitch his intestines, but there's still some toxins in his system. I'll bring a blood sample back to Canterlot to have an expert look for a cure, but for now he will have to live with them..."

"Don't ya worry yar'self none, Princess. If half the stuff R.D. told us is true, then that big fella' can handle that. Ah'd be more worried 'bout him wakin' up soon," reassured Applejack, warily keeping an eye on their guest.

Voices.

Voices around him.

He recognized some voices as his saviors', except that he could now understand clearly what sounded like gibberish before. From what his still half-asleep brain could gather, they were talking about him. There was a definitely male voice in the group, along with a wiser, older sounding woman that another identified as the "princess".

Wait, Princess? I LOVE Princesses! ...Even if I tried to kill one back in Alabasta...
...
Well, sleeping there won't get me anywhere! Time to wake up and enjoy the afterlife!
…Or whatever that place is!

True to his words, Bon Clay woke up – or more exactly jumped awake. He immediately began to spin in his usual painful-to-watch fashion.

“I’m alive! I’m alive! NYAHAHA~♥! I’m a~li~ve!” As usual, he was cackling like a madman, not noticing that his saviors all pretty much stacked in a corner, startled by his sudden outburst.

“Wait. Can I be alive if I’m dead?” He stopped for a second, but went back to spinning just as fast. “Don’t care! Not dying anymore~! NYAHAHA~♥!”

Suddenly, he found himself chin-to-horn with a white unicorn. With wings. And a less-than-amused look on its face. He fell backward and scrawled reflexively all the way to the wall. There, he finally took a close look to his surroundings.

Half a dozen multicolored ponies, some with wings or horns, were hugging each other at the other side of the room. He recognized some of the color patterns as his saviors’ in the middle of the shivering mass. …I’m…not dead? I doubt angels or demons look like ponies…Talking, flashy ponies...

The alicorn was still staring at him, and a pony with - Is that a tie?! - was looking at him with interest, staying as far as possible without crawling on the floor like his friends. A purple unicorn managed to get back on her hooves and stand next to the stallion, but she was still shivering in fear.

Discarding the alicorn still staring at him, he walked slowly in the group's direction. When the princess – it was quite obvious, now that he noticed her regalia – took a step in his direction, he froze. Then, slowly, he fell to his knees; put both hands on the floor palm down and finally bowed all the way until his forehead hit the wood beneath him.

“A-Are you okay? You shouldn’t move so much now with these toxins in your body…if you don’t mind, that is…” said the butter colored pegasus, looking at him with concern.

“THANK YOU! I OWE YOU MY LIFE! THANK YOU SO MUCH!"

Tears were falling in cascade when he lifted his head to look at them. They all had backed up from that new eruption, but they seemed somewhat less scared than before. The only thing they knew about that creature was that he could potentially eat them - and was strong enough to do so without too much trouble. They expected him to be some kind of warrior, at best...Or maybe some feral beast with basic communication skills.

What they didn't expect was a sobbing mess kneeling before them in appreciation.

A cyan-coated pegasus with a fiery rainbow-striped mane carefully walked up to him and patted him on the shoulder with a hoof. Even kneeled, she had a hard time reaching it, having to unfold her wings and fly up a few centimeters.

“Hey, don’t worry about that. We couldn’t let you there, could we?”

“Of course we couldn’t!” Every single eye in the room (well, minus one golden eye, which didn't want to leave the Okama's jaw out of its view) turned to the yellow pegasus, her long pink mane hiding one of her own beautiful teal eyes. She immediately shied away, continuing in a much lower voice. “I mean…it would have been so cruel…”

A single thought went through the Okama’s mind.

Must. Resist. Urge. To cuddle.

Celestia didn’t know quite what to think of this creature. At first he cackled like a madpony, and now he was bawling his eyes out. Maybe his brain was damaged by the toxins? ...Or I failed to notice a concussion?

Her thoughts were interrupted by his loud laughter. She saw him dancing happily with Pinkie Pie, and sweat-dropped. Or maybe he's just insane.

“I hope you will excuse my boldness, but may I ask your name? I am Princess Celestia, Co-ruler of Equestria and Princess of the Sun.”

“…Princess of the Sun? Equestria?” He stared at her with a puzzled look. “What are you talking- Never mind. Nice to meet you! My name is Bentham, but I'm known as Mister Two Bon Clay," he bowed to her, "my friends call me Bon-chan, and I consider you all my friends!”
He gave them all a wide, warm grin, then turned back to Celestia. “Even if you scared me a bit, Sunshine.”

It was the princess’ turn to be puzzled. He just proved he wasn't from this world, but something else had grabbed her attention.
“…Sunshine?”

“What? Don’t like it? With that sun tattooed on your flank I wanted to call you ‘Sun-chan’ but Sunshine sounds better, don’t you think girls~?” He turned to the others ponies. None of them dared to answer, too busy being outraged or holding back a laugh.

“That’s…cute.” Said a grey pegasus with a dirty blonde mane, a color pattern Bon Clay could acknowledge as "normal".
Another mare looked at her like she had grown a second head. "What? It's true. And it sounds better than Banana Split." (Derpy has an habit... You get the idea)

“See! Erm…”

“Derpy Doo”

“Bubbles-chan likes it too!” he offered a wide grin, trying his best to look adorable.

That was rather creepy.

“I…Hmm…Er…” For the first time in years, maybe centuries, the regal alicorn was at a loss of words. She had no idea what to respond. That’s…really kind of cute…

She blushed ever-so-slightly.

Taking her silence as an agreement, he turned once again to the other ponies.

“So, what are your names? I can’t believe I didn’t ask you on the get-go. How rude of me!”

“I’m Rainbow Dash! Best flier in Equestria and future Wonderbolt! Cool to see you’re ok!” The mare gave him an enthusiastic tap on the back.

“Thank you again, Rainbow-chan.”

Hey! Why doesn’t she get the ridiculously adorable surname too? Hidden from view behind “Bon-chan’s” back, the alicorn pouted childishly.

Meanwhile, the Okama found everypony a surname. Everypony minus a certain farmer… And Whooves. I'll have to think of something later... Brownie-chan will do for now!

“Ah’m not lettin’ ya call me ‘Hat-chan’, sugarcube. Sounds like somepony sneezin’.”

“Oh! Oh! What about Jackie-chan! That sounds great!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie – or rather, “Party-chan”. She felt compelled to strike a martial pose. "Aya!"

“Pass.”

“Then what about Apple-chan?” suggested Rarity – my bad, “Pretty-chan”.

“Ah guess that’ll do.”

The Okama laughed in his over-the-top fashion.
“Nice~ ♥ ! Now tell me, where is this island situated? Never heard of ‘Equestria’ before.” He froze. “It’s not in the New World, is it?!”

The ponies looked at each other, questioningly.

“What island?”

If you have any surname suggestion that Bon Clay or Derpy could use for another pony, don't be shy. I'd be more than happy to add them if they're better than mine/ if I haven't found one yet for the pony in question!

Meet the Okama: Setbacks + Deleted Scene

Author's Notes:

Hey everynyan!~ How 'you doin'?
So, here comes the new chapter, with ACTUAL NEW CONTENT! Eeyup, the rewrite ends there. Starting with the next chapter, everything will now be ~~100~~...95% original.

Please tell me what you thought of it, readers' feedback is very important to me (especially for my ego :p). I especially need it on this chapter: I can still make some changes to the story (I have several alternate continuities planned^^') if the stuff in this chapter was ill-received. I'd rather avoid to have to rewrite several chapters again xD

Anyway, Enjoy!~ RaptorJesus

"Is it really that much further, Apple Bloom?" asked the tiny white unicorn, clearly tired by the long march between Ponyville and Froggy Bottom Bog. It didn't help that their guide made them walk in circle for almost half an hour.

"It ain't much furtha'!" answered Apple Bloom, walking giddily before her four friends.

“Jyoudan janai wa you!~”

To say that Twilight’s quick explanation of the situation didn’t convince Bon Clay would be a gross understatement. The Doctor's clarifications didn't help much...

“Nothing you said make sense!" The Okama hesitated for a second, looking at the adorable lizard soundly asleep on Rarity's back. He was snorting smoke. "Well, except for the whole "dragons are real" thingy. Although I've seen weirder."

"Like his face every morning in the mirror," murmured Rainbow Dash, earning a snicker from Applejack and Derpy, and a glare from Fluttershy of all ponies.

Twilight was about to give it another try, but Princess Celestia gently unfolded a wing, showing her protégé her will to clarify the situation herself.
“Mister Bon Clay, I’m afraid that I've never seen anything quite like you in my long reign. No creature like you ever walked under my Sun.”

The Okama’s brain was trying to wrap itself around these new pieces of information. He certainly wasn’t an idiot, although he lacked severely in the common sense department...
However, suddenly learning that you're on some unknown planet does a number on your thought process.
“You never saw any other human before…You own the Sun…”

Realization finally downed on him.

“This…This is not my world! This can’t be! …But if I wasn’t killed, then where am I? Why am I-
(beat)
YOU OWN THE S-S-S-S-SUUUUUUN?!”

Pinkie Pie exploded in laughter at the sight of Bon-chan’s uncannily long tongue waving outside of his mouth, as his eyes bulged a few centimeters out of their orbits. The others’ reaction was more along the line of “What in the name of Celestia, Luna and everything that’s sane and right is that?!”, except for Celestia herself who managed to keep her composure. Barely. The girls sure found quite the specimen…

“How do you do that? That’s so funny! Tell me! Tell me!” was shouting a pink blur bouncing all around him. His brain was screaming for him to satisfy the mare’s curiosity and forget about the whole matter, but he paid it no heed. Right now, he needed to know where exactly he ended up. When I said "I want to travel through the whole world and beyond!" I didn't meant it LITTERALY!

Princess Celestia, struggling more and more to stay collected, carefully grabbed the pink pony in her telekinetic grip to pull her away from Bon Clay, gently holding her at ground level. Not that Pinkie Pie seemed to mind – or even acknowledge - her grasp. The mare simply kept making bouncing motions without moving from her position on the floor.

“Like I told you, I am technically the Goddess of Sun, even if I don’t like the very idea of being thought of as a deity.” The regal alicorn paused, remembering the glint of fear behind almost every single pair of eyes that ever looked in her general direction. Even Twilight’s…

She sighed, which didn't escape the Okama's attention. She isn't kidding when she says she doesn't like it, uh?

“It seems you indeed come from another world… How you ended up in this place is a mystery however.”

If he had been told twelve years ago that his exile would lead him to meet an alien creature, the Doctor would have probably dismissed it as some sort of joke. Not that life in Ponyville wasn't fascinating in its own right. He didn't regret settling down here, even more so since Twilight Sparkle arrived in town. Ponyville was now used to the weekly wacky weirdness, and yet, even here meeting an awkwardly amusing alien life form was unbelievable.
It was evidently extremely exhilarating... But being around Princess Celestia and the clever Twilight for any extended period of time was doing a number on his nerves.

I hope they don't see right through me...

“You come from another world…” said dreamingly the purple unicorn standing next to the Princess. Her stupor didn’t last, though, and soon she was bouncing around Bon Clay just like Pinkie Pie did moments before. “Incredible! Oh, I have so many questions! So many tests! Should I report you my results later, Princess?”

The white alicorn was a bit surprised by this outburst. Twilight was positively beaming at her, her eyes sparkling brighter than any star – suddenly making her realize how much sense it made for Bon Clay to call her Star-chan. She chuckled at her faithful student's endless curiosity. Oh, Twilight, you’re so adorkable!
“It would be my pleasure Twilight, but don’t you think our guest as a word in the matter? I am sure Mister Bon Clay here as many questions to ask us, too.”

“And he totally must show me how he blasted that timberwolf! That was so AWESOME!” fangirl’d Rainbow Dash. “Fangirl’d” was indeed the best term, given how her voice turned into a high-pinched screech mid-sentence.

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!”

Everyone, including a startled baby dragon that just woke up from the previous…incident, turned to Pinkie Pie. Her grin was even wider than usual, her bright white teeth shining as if a powerful lamp was illuminating them. She wore her “I have the most insane idea” look (also known as “Pinkie’s Default Expression”), her eyes opened just as wide as her mouth.

While Bon Clay was troubled by her sudden shout out, the other ponies were simply waiting for their friend’s usual nonsense. Rainbow Dash and Derpy in particular seemed eager to know what weird-yet-hilarious idea she came up with this time.

“We have things to tell him and he has things to tell us! That can means only one thing!”

She stood on her hind legs, before grabbing a drum she somehow pulled out of a crowded bookshelf. Once again, to Bon Clay’s surprise, nopony batted an eye. The lavender unicorn was the only one to seem a bit…disturbed. Triple check...No. I'm burning that place down to the ground and rebuilding it somewhere else. Somewhere far.

“Drum rolls!” *Tapatapatapatapatapata…*

Let me guess, thought an exasperated Twilight, rolling her eyes, she keeps drums in every building in case she needs dramatic tension build-up?

What can be best described as a storm of confetti and streamers fell from the ceiling all around the hyperactive mare as she finally revealed her idea:
“Let’s play TRUTH OR DARE!”

"Are we there yet?" asked the orange pegasus, bored by their long walk. She went to the Bog once or twice, and she was pretty sure it wasn't THAT far. She wasn't even that enthusiastic about "Cutie Mark Crusaders Frog Catchers" to begin with.

"It ain't much furtha'!" answered Apple Bloom, starting to get aggravated by her friends' whining.

The Princess of the Night was wondering what exactly went wrong.
We wouldn't say it went "wrong". Admit at least it was liberating, Queen.
I hate to admit it... But you're right on this one, Nightmare.
Ah! Knew it!

One moment, she was just sitting here in the throne room, channeling all of her fortitude not to telekinetically strangle her moronic nephew half to death. A sentence from him later – which she didn’t even remember – and she was doing just that.

Not that he didn’t deserve it (how and why Celestia made that brat a Prince was beyond her), nor that his current expression wasn’t priceless (she made sure to take a few pictures using an inconspicuous photographic spell), but it wasn’t really a good idea to hurt somepony as influent as him when half of Canterlot’s population still expected her to bring eternal night at any moment.
Puh-lease. They expect US to bring Eternal Night. And they'd deserve it, these foals! Next time we take control, we'll show them!
Shush. We're NOT doing that ever again.
You wish, Queen.

She had only just freed him from her choking grasp that he was already galloping in the castle’s corridor, screaming to anypony in sight that Nightmare Moon returned.
Tch. If we had returned, thou wouldn't have legs to run away with, thou insufferable whelp!

The Princess of the Night was relieved to hear that the only answer he got from the servants and guards were laughter, the palace’s personal all too happy to see him put in his place for once.

“We guess we can forget about our appearance at the Grand Galloping Gala this year?” she asked to the night guard standing beside the throne.

She was quite proud she managed to get rid of her antiquated language since her last visit to Ponyville. Sure, she would sometimes leap back into the Royal Canterlot Voice and couldn’t bring herself to drop the Royal We in public yet, but her progress was overwhelming. I shall become the most “fun” Princess there is!
Unconsciously, Luna hoofpumped, a proud look on her face as thin clouds of steam escaped from her nostrils.

We can't WAIT to see that..., Nightmare added, dripping with sarcasm.

“Eeyup…” The guard waiting next to her throne almost asked her what made her so proud of herself, but decided against, her satisfied look being too nice to disturb.

She chuckled, not sure if she should be sad or happy at the prospect of missing the Gala.
Not sure, really? The less time we spend with these annoying nobles, the best.
Nopony asked for your opinion, Nightmare. Even if I tend to agree...

It was too late to try to fix it, anyway, and it was the occasion to end her court session for today – meaning she could join her sister and friends to meet that weird creature they talked about earlier!
Now THAT's a good idea! We are longing for some action, even if these annoying idiots are a wonderful source of inspiration for new torture devices...
Will you PLEASE shut up? I don't know why you feel so talkative today, but I could do without, thank you.

“Get our chariot ready! We will use this unexpected free time to visit our dear friend Twilight Sparkle.”

“As you wish, your Highness!”
With a flap of his bat-like wings, the guard left through a window to warn his colleagues.

Pinkie’s suggestion was met with an all-you-can-eat buffet of facehooves, some ponies even managing a double-facehoof.
Twilight, in a feat of flexibility nopony knew her capable of, pulled a triple-facehoof at her friend incredibly foalish suggestion. Today has been EXTREMELY taxing on the poor unicorn's nerves, and she was almost at her breaking point.

Their guest, however, was already dancing with Pinkie, celebrating her idea.
“NYAHAHA~♥! It has been so~ long since I last played a game! You really have great ideas Party-chan!" In the blink of an eye, he sobered up, suddenly turning serious. "…Even if that doesn’t really make any sense.”

“Y’all learn soon enuff’ that ol’Pinkie just doesn’t do sense, big guy.” Applejack obligingly explained.

“Err…Princess? We’re not really going to play Truth or Dare, right?” Twilight asked, already hyperventilating at the idea of playing Truth or Dare with the Princess.

Fully aware of her student’s distress, even if she didn’t quite understood her reasons, the alicorn decided to step in.
“I must admit I haven’t played such a game in a long time. However, I think we should at least learn more about you before we begin. I understand that you have plenty of questions to ask, and that after the ordeal you appear to have gone through a game would be much appreciated, but I need to be sure that you are not a threat to my little ponies." I sure hope he's not. As foalish as it may be, it would be my first game in quite a while... And I really want to know what makes Twilight so anxious!

“Fine by me~! NYAHAHA~♥!” Dammit! I hoped I could avoid speaking about my past for a while... But I guess that it was to be expected, with the amount of injuries I had...

“Excuse me, Bon-chan, darling, but do you really have to cackle and spin to punctuate every one of your sentences? That really doesn't fit well with the care you have for your make-up.”

“Save the questions for the game~”

The white unicorn frowned.
“…But of course, dear.” I wanted to ask him for a massage! Now I’ll have to choose between the two!

Suddenly, somepony knocked on the door.

“Quick! Hide him!” Rainbow Dash shouted.

The door was already opening, not leaving nearly enough time to even cast an invisibility or teleportation spell. Derpy acted quickly. She jumped on the bags of flour lying next to her and bucked them. Carefully.

As the door opened, a massive white cloud covered everything inside the library.

The group of foals was still strolling seemingly at random, Apple Bloom still in head, followed by Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, Dinky and Pip trailing behind.

"...Are we there yet?" asked both crusaders. The other two were following silently but were just as fed up as them.

"NO! WE'RE FAR! VERY, VERY FAR!" Apple Bloom shouted angrily. She pushed away a bush, almost falling in the brownish water of the Bog.
"Or...Maybe not so far?"

The travel by chariot took Luna long enough, longer than she remembered. When she came to Ponyville for Nightmare Night, she could busy herself staring at her stars, but today the Sun wasn’t set yet and she couldn’t keep her mind away from that thing that would be waiting for her in Twilight’s home.

She was finally in front of the door, impatient to meet him. It. Whatever.

She knocked. For only answer, a cry and the sound of hooves running haphazardly.
Sounds like they were expecting Us rather than thou! *cackle*

She opened the door and paused, dazed by the view.

The whole room was cream white, covered in a thin layer of flour. In front of her, in the back of the room, stood her sister whose mane and tail were already cleaned thanks to their ethereal nature. In the middle of the room, a pegasus was standing on a bunch of torn bags, her eyes looking at both alicorns at once.
Aaand we have our culprit.

On her right, most of Twilight Sparkle’s friends were standing, although they were quite difficult to identify with their coat and manes washed of their colors. The two unicorns were easy to spot, however, because of their expression. Rarity was vaguely staring at a curl of her mane, seemingly unaware of her surroundings.
As for Twilight…The poor unicorn was laughing mechanically, her gaze scanning all over the room as her eyelids twitched like crazy, finally breaking down from the accumulated stress.
All it takes to break her was to mess up her library a bit? ...Darn. Our humiliation is even worse than we first thought!

On her left, two Pinkie Pies were playing in the flour.
Are thou UNDUBITABLY sure that she isn't related to the Harbinger of Chaos in any way?
... I'm... Having doubts, now...

“Errr…Hello everypony?”

Luna noticed her sister’s horn was glowing, her pure gold magic slowly enclosing the whole room. In a flash, the flour disappeared, to the disappointment of some ponies and the relief of others.
Twilight’s mood improved greatly (staring blankly is an improvement from laughing like a madmare, right?), Rarity squealed in joy as her mane was back to her natural color and Pinkie Pie was pouting in a corner of the room.

And next to a bookshelf.

At the same time.

Somehow.

Twilight Sparkle explained her a while ago that Pinkie Pie saw the laws of nature more as a list of suggestions, and that trying to make sense of her antics was a lost cause. The Princess of the Night’s first reaction was to check the palace’s gardens; just to be sure a certain statue was still sitting there.
Even if the pink pony was much too cheerful to be the dreaded spirit in disguise, it would have been the most logical explanation… She liked when things made sense.
We are still expecting her to summon burning hot chocolate rain on us. We would rather not be scalded again. You'd better keep an eye on her, Queen.

Celestia was the first one to break the awkward silence that her sister’s arrival had raised.
“Well, now that you are here, my dear Sister, we can listen to his story - and then, we can proceed to the game.”

“The …game? Weren’t we only supposed to question it?” She wasn’t sure what was the most confusing – her sister’s half-smile or the two Pinkies dancing together, shouting “Game! Game! Game!”.

“At Pinkie Pie’s demand, and with our guest’s approval, we will learn about each other through a game of Truth or Dare, once we've learned more about him to confirm he's no threat.” Please don’t ask for more details, I still don’t know what’s happening here myself… Although I enjoy it a lot more than I should…

Luna had a hard time to keep herself from facehoofing. Nightmare didn't make this effort, although having no physical body made the task slightly harder to pull off.
Even before her …temper tantrum… that game was deemed as foalish and best left for special occasions such as birthdays or mock tea parties (Not that she ever had mock tea parties with dolls and the old castle’s servants, mind you. Not after Celestia caught her stealing in her personal reserves, at least).
Sister must be bored out of her wits…
You think? Nightmare was half-amused, half-irritated by the situation. She had hoped to toy a bit with a dangerous creature, not play foalish games!

The Princess of the Night tried to recollect herself, to regain her sang-froid, but to no avail. It seemed to have vanished with the flour.

“Well, I…We…suppose its fine?” She looked around, noticing something was amiss. “But…Where exactly is it? We have yet to be properly introduced.”

The room fell silent. Everypony’s mind screamed a same thought, except for a pink pony…or two.

Where the HAY did he went?

Chance da! ("That's my chance!")

"I'm right here!~"

Everypony turned to Pinkie Pie #2. To their surprise, she pulled a pair of pants from her mane and put it loosely on her hind legs.

...Actually, nopony was particularly surprised. It's Pinkie Pie, after all. Yet, none of them expected what happened next.

Pinkie Pie #2 reached for her face with her left hoof...And suddenly Bon Clay was standing in her place. It made everypony yelp in surprise, some falling on their rumps in shock. Nightmare would have jumped out of her skin, if she had some[1].
Pinkie Pie #1 did just that, although it turned out to be a costume of herself.

Bon Clay would have questioned her need to wear a costume of herself, of all things, but he was too busy laughing his ass off. Even Celestia and Luna reacted in a less than dignified way. The Princess of the Sun and Twilight, who had been standing right next to each other, had grabbed each other and were now hugging tightly without even realizing. Luna was flabbergasted, her jaw hanging loose and her eyes opened wide.

Finally, everypony returned from the land of What-the-Hay-was-that and tried to get back what little dignity they had left. Rarity wiped the foam that had formed around her lips when she passed out, making Spike promise he would never talk about this to anypony, ever. Celestia and Twilight jumped away from each other, both red as tomatoes. Fluttershy let go of Derpy, who had turned a tint of purple darker than Spike's. Applejack and Rainbow Dash discovered themselves a passion for wood carving, suddenly extremely interested in the wooden ceiling, wooden floor, wooden statues... anything but each other. They still had bright red marks were the other had grabbed them in an iron grip.

Luna had recollected her thoughts, and was quick to take a photograph of her sister's flustered face. The actual photograph would appear in the old castle, just to be sure Celestia wouldn't destroy them before she made some copies. And life-sized posters. And commemorative coins.

And maybe a new constellation. *cackles* I'll help you with that one, Queen! *cackles louder*

[1] YOHOHOHO! SPIRIT JOKE!

I'm screwed. I'm so screwed.

The Doctor was making his way out of the library, as discreetly as he could. He had been so surprised by the sudden transformation that he reverted back to his true form... He had to run away from here as fast and discreetly as possible.

Ever tried being discreet walking on a wooden floor with hooves?
...Yeah.

Obviously, the floor creaked. Everypony turned around, and was taken aback by what they saw. Before them stood a green and black pony, with a long jagged horn and insect-like wings. His long, thin legs were full of hoof-sized holes. All in all, he looked like an insectoid, male Luna. With a bright red muzzle, for some reason.

The strange pony gulped, sweating profusely.
"There really is a rather reasonable explanation for that, you see-"

He couldn't finish is sentence, as a scream outside got everypony's attention.

"HELP!!!"

Derpy's blood ran cold. It was Dinky's voice. Before anypony else could react, she flew outside, punching a pegasus-shaped hole through one of the library's wall.

"I'M COMING MUFFIN!"

Deleted Scene

This is a scene from the original version of the story. It doesn't really fit in the story anymore, and was sort of recycled in this chapter, but that scene was just too fun to delete. Enjoy~

It was now Pinkie’s turn.
“Truth or Dare? Pleasechoosedarepleasechoosedare!”

“As if I could choose anything else with you! NYAHAHA! DARE!~” Bon Kurei was grinning as wide as his mouth would allow – which happened to be just as wide as Pinkie’s own mouth could open. It made them both howl of laughter, earning the duo a few terrified glares.

When she managed to get back on her hooves, Pinkie shouted three words that made the whole world shiver (To this day, Applejack swears she felt the ground shake):
“DO ME AGAIN!”

Confused ponies stared at Pinkie, wondering what exactly she meant. Pipsqueak and Dinky were the first ones to realize what was going to happen, sending them both into a fit of giggles.

“You mean like this?”

Luna didn’t quite understand what was the issue, but she could only fear for the worst when her sister and the others fillies all bolted up at the somewhat familiar voice. It was a bit nasal…But it sounded a lot like Pinkie Pie.

They all turned back to Bon-chan, their necks producing the same kind of cracks as a rusty clock.

Before their eyes stood a perfect copy of Pinkie Pie.

Not Pinkie Pie in two places at the same time.

Not a relative or a disguise.

ANOTHER. FREAKING. PINKIE “This is how Equestria will be unmade” PIE.

It is the moment Common Sense, Logic and Physics decided it would be a good idea to metaphorically flee the metaphorical scene as fast as their metaphorical legs could support them. Metaphor followed them, not wanting to be left alone in this soon-to-be mental asylum.

“Oh…my…”
“Oh my stars!”
“What in tarnation?!”
“Holy muffin!”
“Holy guacamole!”
“Sweet Celestia!”
“Sweet me!”
“I..We..Errr…What?”

“Don’t panic everyone! It’s…It’s probably just a trick! It gotta be!” Twilight screamed in a fit of pure, unaltered terror. It was already too late for Rarity, who passed out of sheer fear, the most un-ladylike foam covering her lips. Fluttershy was hyperventilating, clinging for dear life to Spike, who would have been crushed if it wasn’t for his iron-hard dragon skin.

“It’s alright Fluttershy…I’m scared too…I’m also choking!” joked Spike in a desperate attempt to calm the situation enough to escape the killer grasp and rush to his beloved’s help.

“Fool!~ That isn’t no trick! I O-ka-ma~ Oath it’s a genuine transformation!”

“Okama Oath? What’s that?” asked Dinky, turning away from her distraught mother long enough to give him a raised eyebrow.

He stood on her hindlegs, bringing a forehoof to his heart and another above her head. (After reading this sentence a dozen times, you should be about as confused as everypony else)
He coughed a little before reciting the oath.

“In warmest day, in coldest night-” He encompassed the ceiling with his hoof.
“-Cross all the seas-“ This time he motioned all around him.
“-Reach for the sky-“ He mimicked a bird flapping his wings.
“-If I lie-“ He managed to extend one of his hindlegs behind him.
“-I’ll kick myself in the eye!” He did just that – stopping a mere inch away from losing said organ.

“Hey! It’s kinda like my Pinkie Promise! Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!” She laughed wholeheartedly, quickly join by the okama.

“NYAHAHA! I feel like having a party!”
“ *gasp* Me too! Me too! And we could have streamers and cider and cupcakes-“
“You’ve cider and cupcakes?! Alcohol and pastries?! I’m in HEAVEN!~”
“Wait until you see my Party Cannon!”
“You have a Party Cannon?! I fought they made those only back home!”
“They make Party Cannons where you live?!”
“Are you kidding me? Okamas INVENTED the Party Cannons! It’s a basic feature on our ships!”

…The heated exchange kept going for a while.

The five still psychologically functional ponies who knew Pinkie personally and a perplexed Luna simply sat there, all dealing their own way with the uncanny discussion between Pinkie Pie #1 and Pinkie Pie #2.

Derpy was holding Dinky and Pip close to her, decided to keep them safe from the oncoming storm. She was now convinced she had to warn the Doc – if only to get the hay outta Equestria before the whole planet crumbled.

Luna was alternatively staring at the pink duo and at their terrified audience. Why are they scared NOW? There was two of her minutes ago, for my sake!

Rainbow Dash thought the whole transformation thing was cool, but as the conversation went on, the prospect of a giant party organized by the two harbingers of fun went from terrific to plain horrifying. They were going to turn the whole country into a wasteland at this rate.
She was shaking, on the verge of tears. Turning to look at Applejack, she noticed the farm pony was in no better condition.
Their stares finally crossed.

“AJ…Hold me”

“Only if ya hol’ me back.”

They softly cried into each other’s mane.

Twilight and Celestia were already hugging each other, eyes wide open and pupils the size of pinheads. They couldn’t avert their gaze from the unholy sight before them, knowing all too well how screwed they were if their fears were founded – which seemed more likely with every passing second.

Twilight somehow managed, with great pain, to articulate a coherent and barely audible whisper.

“Princess…It was an honor to be your student.”

Celestia used all of her inner strength to turn to her student and nuzzle her.
“Pleasure was mine, Twilight…Pleasure was mine...”

Anger + A History of Changelings

Everyone was stunned, wondering what was happening outside... And how the hell did the mare punch a hole through almost twenty centimeters (more than 7 inches) of sturdy oak. Along with a full bookshelf, leaving a dozen or so books torn to shred behind her.
The changeling was the first one to snap out of it.

"Derpy! Wait!"

In a burst of green fire, he changed back into the Doctor, leaving the floor beneath him slightly singed. He then rushed through the hole Derpy made, tailed by the Okama in Pinkie form.
Bon Clay remembered his first encounter with the local fauna - if the child that screamed earlier was pursued by these creatures, she was in grave danger. He wasn't usually one to run at a stranger's help, but he liked Bubble-chan. If she was ready to fight some monster to protect a child - her child, most likely - then he was going to help her. I won't let a friend fight alone ever again!

Whatever was there couldn't be worse than Magellan, he figured.

The rest of the group was about to follow when they felt the temperature rise by several degrees. The room was soon illuminated by an eerie glow which became more and more oppressive. Searching the room for the sinister presence, everypony had to suppress a yelp when they saw Twilight.

The unicorn's mane and tail were on fire...Scratch that, they were MADE of fire. Her coat had turned white at some point, and her face was downcast with closed eyes. An invisible but heavy aura that screamed of bloody murder and unspeakable torture was metaphorically surrounding her.

Metaphor immediately flew the scene, thunderstruck. Literally.

If it wasn't for the sound of Twilight's mane crackling, you could have heard a pin drop in Appleloosa. The silence was beyond deathly - it was where death went to die. Nopony dared to say a word, horror and concern written all over their face as the studious mare was starting to shake in anger.

And then Pinkie Pie had to open her BIG. DUMB. MOUTH.

"Congratulation Twilight! You evolved into Rapidash!"

Everypony just stared at her, slack-jawed. Even Celestia and Luna couldn't hide how appalled they were by Pinkie's ill-timed joke. They didn't really like the prospect of a pissed-off, out-of-control Twilight.

Meanwhile, in everypony's imagination...

"THE HORROR! THE HORROR!"

A three-stories tall hulking unicorn appeared behind Town Hall, just before turning it to ashes with a quick spell.

"TWILIGHT SMASH!"

Back in Equestria...(That was weird, wasn't it?)

"...Why would nopony..."

They all froze. It was barely above a whisper - one of Fluttershy's whisper - but they all heard it clearly. Celestia, concern written all over her features, tried to disarm the tyke bomb.
"Twilight? Dear, are you alright? Please tell me what's wrong, my faithful student!" She pleaded.

If Twilight heard her, it didn't show.

"...use the..." Her horn suddenly lit up with even more magic than that one time against the Ursa Minor.

Luna reacted appropriately.

"EVERYPONY TAKE COVER!" She screamed in full-blown Royal Canterlot Voice.

"...BUCKING DOOR!!"

The bolt of magic uprooted the library, sending it flying high enough in the air to be seen from Canterlot. It then fixed the hole Derpy made in the wall, the torn books and the blackened piece of floor left by the Doctor.
The spell also tried to get rid of everything Pinkie Pie had hidden in the library, but after throwing out about four times the volume equivalent of the oak tree, it ran out of fuel and suddenly stopped.

Thankfully, Celestia and Luna reacted swiftly. Luna slowed down the tree's fall while her sister grabbed the now-unconscious unicorn in her telekinetic grasp. She knew that Twilight tended to react badly to stress, but that was unheard of. Yet, she couldn't shake the bit of pride she took in her student's truly impressive magical display. If...When she finally learns to consciously use her full potential, she'll make Star Swirl and Sombra look like magic kindergarteners.

Queen?
What is it, Nightmare? I'm a bit busy, you know, trying to KEEP US FROM FALLING TO OUR DOOM!
When We manage to take over again...Please remind us NEVER to damage that unicorn's library. Actually, Our first objective shall be to recruit her. Peacefully.
...Accorded.

When the library finally landed everypony who hadn't passed out in sheer terror went to join Derpy, Bon Clay and the Doc.

For the umpteenth time today, they were surprised by what they saw.

A bit earlier...

"Somepony...Anypony...HELP!"

The Extended Cutie Mark Crusaders were running as fast as their tiny legs could go. Scootaloo was using her wings to move faster, leading the group with Applebloom and Pipsqueak. Dinky, who was previously leading the group, was now close behind, slightly out of breath after that scream. Sweetie Belle was lagging at the rear, barely able to keep up with her friends after running for what felt like hours, but was only a few minutes.

They had run all the way from the Bog to Ponyville with a hungry Hydra on their tails.

They kept galloping and galloping, reaching the first houses of the town, when Dinky let out a startled yelp. She had slipped on a rock on the cobblestone path, and was now lying on the ground, trying to get back on her hooves. Sweetie Belle ran past her, and risked a look behind. One of the creature's head was right above Dinky, ready to attack its prey and gulp her down.

"Dinky! DODGE!"

The grey filly froze when she heard the Hydra's hungry cry. She could see the shadow of one of the Hydra's heads looming above her. She was crying in terror, unable to stand on her shaky legs anymore. She did the only thing she could think of. She called for her mommy.

The head reached for its prey...Only to be stopped by a grey blur.

"Stopped" might not be the best term. Severed would be more appropriate.

Derpy, seething, had bucked it at full strength. Her mighty kick sent the head flying against a nearby lamppost, cutting it clean off from the Hydra's neck. No blood dropped from the neck stump, as the head was already slowly regenerating. The severed one on the ground slowly dissolved into nothingness, leaving no trace of its presence aside from a small crater and the uprooted lamppost.

Hydras were some of the most dangerous creatures one could face in Equestria. Their body was covered in iron-hard scales, and was very resilient to magic damage. With four heads and long, flexible necks, they had no blind spots. Even worse, their only weak point - the aforementioned heads, which are much more fragile against physical and magical damage than the main body - could regenerate ad infinitum, and even severing all four of them would incapacitate it for only a few minutes. Time was the Hydra's sole enemy. Time and Ursa Majors.
Even an Alicorn would rather fly away rather than fight an Hydra head-on.

...And the grey pegasus was facing one down without an ounce of hesitation or fear showing. She was standing between the monster and her daughter, for once her eyes focused on the same point - the bastard that tried to hurt her little muffin.

The three remaining head, unimpressed but enraged (being beheaded hurts a lot, whether it regrows or not), were staring her down. One of them, which appeared to be the leader, moved to her right. Another, licking its lips in sick anticipation, moved to her left. The dimwitted one stayed right in front of her, looking alternatively at the other two heads. They intended to attack her on all fronts...

...That is, until the stupid one dived at the mare, unaware of its brothers' strategy. The mare was ready to buck the life out of it, but it never reached her.

A certain someone stopped it, standing on one leg, the other stuck in the creature's maw. It would have hurt, if the combined strength of the Okama and the head's inertia hadn't kicked out most of its teeth. It backed away, clearly in pain, whimpering.

Bon Clay and the Doc had caught up to Derpy. The former went to help her while the latter took care of the foals, making sure they were all right and introducing the creature that was helping them - assuring them everything would be fine.

The Okama brought his foot in front of him, striking his usual fighting pose. His face, to Derpy's surprise, was a mask of grim determination, in stark contrast to the goofy, over-the-top expressions he sported earlier.

Seeing the Hydra had brought painful memories to Bon Clay. He saw himself cowardly running away, leaving his best friend at another Hydra's mercy... Not this time! I'll never leave a friend behind again!

"Ore wa... kisama no butt o bashite." ("I'm gonna kick your ass.")

The three heads were decided to get rid of these annoying pests. At least the mare looked tasty, but the monkey thing looked ill and would probably taste like tainted fish. The Hydra hated having to fight against something that it didn't see as a potential meal. It was already enough of a pain to share equally between each head.

Decided to get rid of the sickly ape first, the three heads lunged forward. They had him circled, attacking from both sides and above. The mare and the filly were still behind him, so he couldn't dodge.

It didn't faze him one bit.

"Okama Kenpo..."

The dimwitted head was the first one to enter his range, too eager to get revenge. It received a firm kick to the jaw, sending it fly upwards. The impact was strong enough to knock it out against the hard scales of its back. He was surprised by how hard the thing's scales were, but it wasn't much harder than Minotaurus thick skull.

"Un!"

With his leg up in the air, the Okama couldn't defend his sides. The smarter head saw the opening in his stance, moving faster to bite him. The other head came to the same conclusion and adopted the same strategy.
As they were about to crush him from both sides, he reached for his right cheek and turned into Pinkie Pie. Now much smaller, he went right under the attack, letting the heads smash together.
He turned back into his own body and, taking support on his hands, propelled himself in the air. As soon as he reached the "leader", he kicked it down with enough force to ram it into the ground.

"Deux!"

The last head, still stunned by the previous impact with its brother, shook the stars off its eyes. With a roar, it darted madly at the Okama in hope of catching him off-guard while he was still in mid-air. To its surprise, however, Bon Clay began graciously spinning, before delivering a bone-shattering lateral kick.

"KURAAAAA!" ("Take this!")

It let out a strident screech before falling to the ground, unmoving. Bon Clay turned to Derpy, who was hugging her daughter. They were both crying happily, relieved that the other was safe and sound.

The sight warmed his heart, filling him with pride. I didn't run. I won't run away anymore. I swear it, Mugi-chan!

A panicked voice tore him from his reverie. He turned his attention to the small group further behind the mother and her daughter. He could see the terrified look on the foals' face, and the brown pony's concern.

"Bon-chan! BEHIND YOU!"

He span around, to see that the head Derpy had severed was back, its regeneration already complete. He immediately resumed his stance, but was suddenly shaken by a coughing fit. He felt his strength leave him, and the world around him became a blur. "Chi-Chikusô..." ("Dammit...")

"BON-CHAN!"
The Doc had lost the confident look he had been giving to the foals. Distress was written all over his features.
The Okama was out cold and Derpy wouldn't have nearly enough time to bring Dinky to safety before attacking.

Mentally cursing, he changed back and channeled is magic. He could hear the foals gasping at his true form, but discarded it. He needed to concentrate. Derpy was his best friend, and along with Dinky they were almost family now.

He would be damned if anything happened to them.

Before the final head could attack, he sent a volley of green fireballs in its general direction.

"Chemical Juggling!"

Despite the tense situation, he couldn't help but laugh. I sound like a cheesy superhero!
It would probably have been enough to knock down a lesser abomination, but the Hydra's natural resistance to magic meant it barely left a scratch. Still, he kept sending more. He knew he couldn't bring it down, but he only needed to buy some time.

Derpy made good use of the distraction, bringing Dinky and the unconscious Okama to safety before charging the Hydra head-on. She was still in full Mama Bear mode, trying to get a clean shot at the last head. The Doc sent one last fireball, made from hundred of lesser ones, his whole magic reserves going into that attack.

"Mass Juggling!"

As soon as the giant ball of greenish magical fire flew past her, Derpy hid behind. She followed it until it hit the Hydra, blinding the creature long enough for her to deliver a mighty buck that would have made Big Mac proud. She held back just enough to avoid beheading it again; it would only be asking for more trouble.

Landing down, she was immediately tackled by a bunch of exultant foals.
"You're the best Mommy!"
"That. Was. AWESOME!"
"Ya' show'd dat big meanie who's da boss!"
"You were fantastic Miss Doo!"
"I really like your mane!"

They all turned to Sweetie Belle, raising an eyebrow. Then they all rolled on their back, roaring in liberating laughter, while the changeling was staring at them with a bemused smile.

The alicorns and the other mares stared at the scene.

To their right, Derpy and the foals were laughing like crazy - soon joined in their laughter by Pinkie Pie.

In front of them, the changeling was scanning an unconscious Bon Clay, without even noticing that Fluttershy had already joined him and was ready to heal any injury the Okama received - namely, a few scratches and a nasty cut to the right leg when he kicked the first head in the teeth.

Finally, to their left, a freaking Hydra was laying motionless, each one of its head badly battered. One of them was slowly coming to, but the Alicorn Sisters joined effort to teleport it back to the Bog before it fully woke up.

While none of the young mares realized just how incredible it was to take down a Hydra (Well, Twilight would probably have, but right now she was snoring loudly on her mentor's back, steadily rebuilding her magic reserves), Luna and Celestia couldn't help but gawk.

Wh-Wha-Wha-...How?!
...I have no idea!

"What happened here?" Celestia asked with her usual serene voice, even if deep inside she was having the time of her life. Two ponies and an alien just mopped the floor with an HYDRA. Now THAT's new!

The Doctor was back in pony form, and after a quick bow recounted the whole fight, with the foals adding a few comments along the way - mostly "That was awesome!", "He/She was so badass!" or some variation of both.
When he finished his summary of the events, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were staring into space with stars in their eyes. Rainbow in particular has been squee-ing uncontrollably for the whole length of the story. Fluttershy looked properly horrified - Hydras just managed to earn the number one spot of her "big scary scaly things" ranking - and about to faint, while Rarity and Applejack were hugging their sisters and thanking Derpy over and over for saving them. Applejack even promised a special batch of apple-flavored muffins, prompting the grey pegasus to bear-hug her.

Pip, who just noticed Princess Luna, ran to her and hugged her hoof.
"Princess Luna!"
When she saw him, Luna smiled broadly and crooked her neck to nuzzle him. "Little Pipsqueak! It is a pleasure to see you again!"
Oh my stars! He remembers me!
Of course he remembers thee! Thee are the Princess of the Night!
Hush, Nightmare.

Rarity cleared her throat, before addressing the princesses. "Shall we return to the library and wait until Twilight and Mister Bon Clay wakes up?"

Princess Celestia nodded before grasping the Okama in her telekinetic field. The whole group, including the curious foals and an uneasy changeling, trotted back to the library and waited.

A History of Changelings

The Changeling race was born under the reign of Discord. They used to be ponies living in the town of Langelaanborough, named after the old dragon word for "Land of the flies".
One day, without warning, they were turned into insect-pony hybrids by the dastardly Spirit of Chaos. The main issue with their new form was that it had turned them carnivorous, granting them long fangs, bug-like wings and the ability to spit some sort of organic glue that served as their main mean of defense and attack. Worst of all, their Cutie Marks were gone.

They were saved by the former Alicorn of Love, known as Queen Butterfly. Despite being born before both Luna and Celestia, she wasn't anywhere near as powerful, and too much of a pacifist to try to violently deposit Discord.
She stood as tall as the Alicorn of the Sun, with the same beautiful elongated legs and thin body. Her coat was a vibrant red, clashing with her long baby blue mane. Said mane was cascading on her back and hiding part of her face, the same way a veil would have. Her big brown eyes carried nothing but love and compassion, with a hint of melancholy. She truly embodied her aspect of magic, right down to the magnificent magenta and gold heart on her flank.

When she found the town, she was deeply shocked by the town's desolation. Not a single one of the former ponies had eaten anything, choosing to starve rather than eat another living being. Their state of starvation had affected their bodies in a surprising way: holes had appeared in their hooves, wings and manes. So many had lost the spark of life every living creature keeps in their eyes... Some of them were barely more than zombies at this point, staring helplessly in front of them, silently hoping somepony would bring them out of their misery.

Seeing this, the fair Queen took immediate measures to alleviate the poor creatures' suffering. Tapping deeply in her magic reserves, her horn glowed a bright magenta until a bubble of magic formed around the whole town, encompassing every one of its citizen in a warm light. When the light faded and the bubble crumbled, the creatures inside had been changed. They no longer hungered for meat. Instead, they found themselves attired to the Queen, struggling back to their hooves to march toward her as one.

And she fed them.

She had modified their bodies, just enough to allow them to process a new kind of food: love itself. They could literally live "on love alone". It wasn't the only gift she had for them, though. She couldn't change their appearance...But she could give them the power to do so.

When they were all satiated, and after they had all chosen a new appearance, the Queen talked to them.

"My little ponies... I couldn't free you from Discord's malice, but you now have the means to defeat this curse yourselves. From now on, you'll be known as Changelings. Now, scatter! Find a nice town away from Discord's influence and settle down! Find your special somepony, found a family, and live your lives to their fullest!"

They all bowed to her, until one mare stood and beckoned her. The changeling had taken the appearance of a pegasus mare, with a soft pink coat and lilac mane. Her Cutie Mark showed two blue thunderbolts. "I am sorry, my Queen... But this town as always been like a large family. We are all friends here, and we couldn't bear to scatter. We must stay together... Please, lead us, as the Queen of the Changeling race. Let us found our kingdom here, in this town!"

The Queen smiled weakly at her. She suddenly looked ancient, fragile even. The changelings hadn't realized yet, but they had consumed more than she could give. She had little magic left, for an alicorn anyway. Not enough to maintain her physical body much longer.

"May I ask you your name, Miss..."
"Firefly, your Highness."
"Firefly..." She advanced toward the pink mare, each step more strained than the previous. Her body was breaking down. "I cannot lead your people. But I am quite sure you will make a wonderful Queen, my little changeling..."
"Wha-"

Before Firefly could add a word, Queen Butterfly lit up her horn for the very last time. She focused the last of her magic, every ounce of her power, and transferred it to the changeling in front of her. If she wasn't dying already, her magic would have crushed the poor thing, but it was now weakened enough for her to absorb this power.

In a last flash of light, the Alicorn of Love was gone, her essence waiting to find some day another physical body to empower. In her place stood Queen Firefly, First Regent of the Changelings.

She leaded the changeling with a gentle but strong hoof, soon moving their colony from their old town to an extended system of underground caves as their numbers grew. She would keep tabs on every changeling leaving and entering the city, to make sure they all came back from their feeding expedition. While the rest of Equestria was suffering under Discord's reign, the changelings managed to live quite peacefully, the Spirit of Chaos having lost any interest in them.

Almost a century after her crowning, she died fighting alongside the Celestial Alicorn Sisters to seal Discord into stone. The alicorns believed that the changeling race disappeared with her. Until Luna's banishment, the two sisters would every year at the same date visit her grave, after the last rays of the Sun disappeared beneath the horizon. Hundreds of fireflies would dance around the tombstone that night, honoring their namesake's memory.

The changelings, however, were far from extinct. Firefly's power was transmitted to the oldest and wisest of her subject, who became the Second Regent under the name of Queen Mayfly.

Her reign didn't last, however, as she was overwhelmed by the sudden surge of power. Her body was heavily damaged by the overflow of magic, and she barely had time to find a countermeasure so that her own heiress wouldn't suffer the same fate.
As she died, she laid a single egg infused with about a quarter of her power. The rest went to another changeling, who then became the Third Regent, Queen Cocoon.
A few days later, the egg hatched. The changeling had a singular red mark on his face, indicating he was a drone - a male with the power to complete the Queen. He was still a baby when Cocoon fused with him, keeping her personality but earning his powers on top of hers. She dubbed herself "Queen Damselfly".

But when she was claimed in an earthquake, her egg was never found... And Queen Chrysalis, the Fourth Regent, was condemned to be incomplete.

Author's Note

Hey there everynyan!~
Well - look at that, a fancy knew design! It'll take some time to get used to, but it looks pretty cool!
...Although I kinda miss the featured box up there.

Soooo...Tell me what you thought of the fight scene. It's my very first, and I'm pretty sure there's lot of room for improvement.
Today's Okamake is pretty important to the story as a whole, so make sure to read it ;)

Enjoy!~ RaptorJesus