Agent Redwood

by DannyJ

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Royal Guard, Shining Armor
Length: 2438

Redwood is not known for her discipline and restraint. Perhaps a military career was not a smart choice for her.

Redwood is a mare of simple desires. She enjoys alcohol, male company, and competitive challenges, and is best known for her uncanny ability to find all three wherever she goes. What she is not known for is her discipline and restraint.

Perhaps a military career was not a smart choice for her.

Part of the Borderworld.

Originally written for the OC Slamjam. Now with audio reading by Jacob M. Keene (and 5 VA guests).

Published 2015-09-03 06:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-12-21 02:23:00 UTC

Strange Bedfellows

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Liaisons

You Got Arrowed, Mate

The sound of a hoof banging on the hotel door woke Azure from her slumber, causing her to flop about and try to kick the covers off of herself. The only light in the darkness came from the glare of the neon lights outside, which peaked in through the gaps in the curtains and illuminated her pale blue form. Grumbling, she eased out of bed and navigated across the tiled floor as best she could in her half-asleep state. She threw open the door, giving the pony on the other side a disdainful look.

Her brother froze in place, still holding his hoof inches from where the door would've been, his eyes widened in surprise. Azure looked him up and down, taking in his ruffled orange mane and matted blue coat, both much darker shades than hers. She wrinkled her nose slightly as she noticed how sweaty he was, but chose not to comment on it.

"Where've you been?" she asked, turning her back to him and heading into the hotel room. "Do you even know what time it is?"

Arrow followed in after her.

"I'm sorry, Az. I lost my key."

The electric lights flickered on as Azure punched the switch on the wall next to her, and the door slammed shut shortly after. Picking up the covers from the floor, she flopped back onto her bed and began fixing her pillows.

"So why were you out so late?"

Arrow leaned against the far wall. "Met a mare. Got into an impromptu archery competition. Things escalated from there. Lost track of time. I'm sorry for leaving you back at the carnival."

"What were you doing in an archery competition? You don't do archery."

"Yeah, that's what I told her, but she talked me into it anyway." He shrugged. "I guess she thought that the name must've had some significance."

Satisfied with her pillows, Azure pulled a book from her bedside table and opened it up to the midway point.

"Must've been quite some competition. You've been away for at least six hours."

"Seven," said Arrow, his eyes darting over the corner of the room.

Azure stopped and lowered her book to give him a raised eyebrow. The corner of her lip curled up in a smile.

"So what was her name?"

Arrow cleared his throat. "Uh... Redwood. She was called Redwood."

As his sister returned to the book, Arrow gestured towards the bathroom.

"I'm sorry if it keeps you up, but I'm going to go take a shower before bed, if that's alright?"

"That's why I'm reading, little bro."

With an appreciative nod, Arrow left to run his shower. Azure just smiled and shook her head.

In the summer sun, the desert just outside of Las Pegasus was intensely hot, but still ponies gathered in droves for the day's events. Large marquee tents and hastily-assembled structures were set up around the place, and in the centre of it all, there was the rodeo. It had not yet begun in earnest, but already ponies were filling up the stands that circled most of the arena. There were families, enthusiasts from other towns, and citizens of Las Pegasus who'd come out to enjoy the festivities.

Azure was in the second category. She navigated the crowd with a wide smile on her face, despite the sweat forming on her brow in the midday sun. She noted that most of the crowd were earth ponies, like her, many of them sharing her lighter shades. She looked back over her shoulder towards her brother, the pegasus, who was caught trying to get around a group of stallions. Courtesy dictated that he couldn't just fly over them, but he obviously wanted to. He wasn't hiding his frustration well.

Soon he caught up again, and the pair continued onwards until they eventually made it to a tent where refreshments were being served. Ponies lined up to get a mug of cool apple cider from one of the many tables at the edge of the room, where the salesponies stacked up barrels of the stuff. In the centre of the tent, more saleponies offered assorted snacks from yet more tables, tempting the foals to annoy their parents into buying something.

The siblings queued up together for one of the cider tables.

"Busy here today," Arrow commented. "This one's huge compared to Dodge."

"Well, these big city rodeos can afford more promotion, can't they? Makes for a great spectacle, though."

"If you say so, sis. But you know that rodeo's never been my sport. I'll always be a racer."

At that moment, a reddish brown mare popped up behind Arrow and leaned over his back, grinning at him. He recoiled at the unexpected contact, his eyes widening.

"But that's not the only thing you're good at, is it, Mister Fifty Seconds?" she said.

Azure raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Meanwhile, a slight blush crept over Arrow's features.

"What are you doing here?" he whispered, furtively glancing towards his sister for a brief moment.

The new mare lifted a wing over and in front of Arrow, a key dangling the tip. She gave him a slightly more subdued smile.

"You left your key behind."

Arrow released a breath he'd been holding and took the key with his teeth.

"Thank you," he said, stuffing them into a saddlebag.

The new mare didn't remove herself from his personal space, however. Instead, she relaxed her wing and turned her attention to Azure.

"He's a keeper, this one. Good aim. Strong legs."

"He's my brother," Azure said flatly.

"I can tell. You're Azure, right? He talked about you."

"Yes, I am. And I'm guessing you're Redwood."

At that point, the line moved forward, and Redwood was forced to let go and stand beside the siblings. Azure's eyes darted down and noticed a brace on one of her hind legs. She was tempted to ask, but did not want to risk appearing impolite. So instead, she turned to her brother.

"So... Mister Fifty Seconds?"

"It's not referring to what you think it is," Arrow muttered, before trying to redirect the conversation back to Redwood. "How did you even find me here?"

"You said you were coming here last night, remember? And it wasn't hard to pick you out of a crowd. Not many pegasi at the Las Pegasus rodeo. Odd, really. You wouldn't expect that from the name."

"You still didn't need to come find me. I could've gone back for the keys this afternoon."

"Pfft. I doubt you even remember where it was. Besides, this is more fun."

"You know..." Azure shifted in place. "I think I'm gonna go find a place in the stands before the good seats are all taken. Leave you two to catch up. Come find me after."

"Oh, no need for that!" Redwood said, cheerfully. "I'll come with you! Arrow's a strong colt. He can get ciders for the three of us, can't you, Arrow?"

"Uh..."

"Great! Come on then!"

And before Azure could protest, she was being ushered towards the tent exit by her brother's strange new friend, who followed her out all the way.

Azure and Redwood sat on the top row of their stand, the former sitting in place rigidly while occasionally fidgeting, and the latter reclining against the back of the stand with a look of contentment on her face.

"I've never been to a rodeo before," said Redwood, sitting up. "I knew they were here when I was a kid, but I never wanted to go."

"You live around Las Pegasus then?"

"Nah. Just visiting my mom while I'm on leave. I live up in Canterlot."

Azure turned her head, furrowing her brow.

"On leave? No way you're in the Guard."

"Eh..." Redwood looked up and made circular motions with her hoof as she searched for the words. "It's... something like that. I can't go into specifics, but yeah, it's a branch of the Platoons."

Azure blinked.

"You don't come off like a guardspony."

"Yeah, well, I'm not on duty. I can have fun on my own time if I want." She pointed down to the arena. "Is that a clown? There are clowns here?"

Azure looked in the direction Redwood was pointing and noticed a gaggle of rodeo clowns off to the side of the arena, seemingly preparing for their later act.

"Uh, yeah. There are. They come on at the end after the main performances."

"Cool..." Redwood leaned forward more to get a better view. "Do you go to a lot of these?"

"My little brother and I sort of tour the country and follow the major rodeos. And when we don't, we're following racing competitions, because he competes in those."

"I know. He told me all about his racing. He showed me some, too."

"Yeah, I'll bet he did," Azure muttered. "I might regret asking, but what is 'Mister Fifty Seconds' in reference to?"

Redwood grinned. "His speed when I challenged him to a race around the block. What did you think it was?"

Azure stifled a smirk.

"I should've expected as much. What else did you two get up to? An archery competition was mentioned when he got back last night."

"A lot of things. Archery at the carnival, left and went to a bar, drunken flying race, my place..."

"Why did he come back to me if the night ended at your place?"

Redwood rolled her eyes. "Said you'd be worried about him, since he didn't tell you that he'd be spending the night away. And to be fair, I don't think he was expecting to not come home when you two parted ways. He's kind of clueless."

"Hey, watch what you say about him."

"Didn't mean anything by it."

Looking around, Azure noticed that the stands were filling up. The show would be starting soon, and still there was no sign of her brother. She wiped the sweat from her forehead and leaned back, putting a hoof over her forehead to block the glare from the sun. Celestia was apparently feeling wrathful today.

"So where do you two live if you travel so often?" asked Redwood.

"On the road, I guess. Arrow does his racing and I do odd jobs, and we just stay wherever we can find a place. Our parents live up north, and so do my older brothers, but we haven't lived with them in years now. Though, I have always wanted to settle in Appleloosa."

Redwood nodded. "Must be fun, living so free."

"It's got its perks."

"I can imagine it must be nice having no fixed job. If you don't like your boss, you don't have to put up with him for long. Me? I can't stand my C.O. Guy's a total grump, and I'm stuck with him until I get promoted out of his little task force. Can't tell him what I really think of him, either, 'cause you're not supposed to mouth off to a superior, and I don't want to get disciplined."

Azure frowned.

"Again, you really don't seem like a guard. Isn't military life meant to be highly regimented and orderly? You seem like kind of a... free spirit."

"Well, that's what I get for following my father's hoofsteps. But it's not all bad. My division is kind of informal, all things considered. No marching in lockstep or anything. Though it does have a much stricter dress code."

"What division is that, exactly?"

"I really can't discuss it with you any further. Official Secrets Act and all that."

"Well now you're just teasing."

At that moment, Arrow returned, precariously balancing three mugs of apple cider on his back. He gave them an uneasy smile as he distributed them one at a time by hoof.

"You two having a nice talk?" he asked.

Azure looked sideways at Redwood, who had already begun taking a long gulp of cider.

"You know, I think we are."

Coming out of the rodeo in the evening sun, three ponies laughed together, Redwood in particular being almost in hysterics. Her wings draped over both of her companions' backs as she walked between them, but it was Azure she leaned into while she cried in laughter.

"I should've come to a rodeo years ago!" she said, finally calming down. "That big guy was hilarious! Most circuses don't have clowns that good!"

Azure, also just gaining control of herself, wiped away a tear of her own. "I know! Wasn't he great? He wasn't here last year. He was really something."

"The clowns are always my favourite parts," said Arrow. "Sometimes I sit through these rodeos just for those guys."

Redwood let out a long, content sigh.

"Welp, it's been fun, you guys, but I need to get going." She let go of Azure and Arrow, walked forward several paces, and turned to face them both. "How long are you going to be in town for?"

"Not much longer," said Azure. "One day left, and then we're heading up to Rainbow Falls."

"Ah, shoot. And I gotta spend tomorrow with my mom and grandma."

"Dang, that sucks," said Arrow. "I was hoping we'd get to see you again before we left."

"Well, we can always see each other some other time. My job takes me travelling a lot, too. If we're ever in the same area again, maybe we can meet up. You got a, uh...?"

Redwood made a gesture with her hooves, and Arrow, immediately understanding, reached into his saddlebags and retrieved a small notepad with a pencil. Redwood took the pencil with her mouth and scrawled an address on it, which she gave back to Arrow.

"Send a postcard to this address or something, and they'll direct it to wherever I am at the time."

"Sure thing." Arrow smiled and pulled her into a quick embrace. "It's been fun."

"Same to you." Redwood looked to Azure briefly, before pulling her into a similar hug. "And you weren't a bad time, either."

Upon breaking away from the pair, Redwood spread her wings and took flight. With one last wave goodbye, she flew away into the distance, heading back in the direction of the city, where the neon lights of the casinos were just beginning to glow.

"I like her," said Azure. "That whole encounter was a lot less awkward than I thought it'd be."

"Yep. I should run off with strange mares more often."

Azure playfully punched her brother in the shoulder.

"Come on, you. Let's hit the Fremount one last time while we're still in town. I'm feeling lucky tonight."

"Sounds like a plan."