Chapter 1: A Fool Is Born
"Does anyone speak Vietnamese?" My P.E. teacher asks the class as they sit outside, awaiting to enter the gym. With my foolishness as a 14 year old I ask if Chinese was close enough, as embarrassing as it was all I could do was wonder why she needed someone who spoke Viet. Then I saw her, I have had a lot of crushes before the age of 14, but at this time I was experiencing love at first sight. Her name was Yin Red, and she was probably the prettiest girl I would know for the next 3 years. But that is another story. That hour of Physical Education flew by fast, I broke my mile run record coming in at 8 minutes, which is funny since I usually did 10 minutes. Getting ready to walk with the class from the track field to the locker rooms I confront the Yin.
I asked for her name as I introduced myself just as any normal person would, and I had suddenly realized that she herself barely had the ability to speak English, which is why my teacher needed a speaker. We had talked for a good 10 minutes and instantly became friends. Something about her just attracted me like a moth to a flame, in a love that would probably kill me.
Over the course of a month we became best friends, I ate with her at lunch, introduced her to people so that she would have friends, and even walked with her after school. Then I finally decided to confess my feeling to her. I was extremely shy, and asking her out face to face would make my heart explode big enough to wipe out the school, so I wrote a letter. I spent hours writing that letter. Going back and forth until finally I decided it was ready. The following day I gave it to her as we walked home, and she thanked me for it, not knowing of the ticking time bomb that I had given her. Theoretically of course.
The next day while I had been talking to my friends I got my response, I wasn't expecting it so fast, but I was given a letter. It was in a small envelope with a heart sticker on its back. Fear overwhelmed me, I had never done this before so I wasn't sure what to expect. During lunch I opened the letter, and what was in it broke my heart. I never knew that an apology could be so painful, but there it was. My first experience of total heartbreak, after school that day we got together to walk home, and I smiled. Why should I worry her, and end our relationship because I made a mistake? I talked to her and thanked her for a fast response, then she had given me the time bomb this time, "It's just that I CAN'T have a boyfriend. My parents wouldn't let me."
The word "Can't" Had practically rung in my ear for the next few days, finally one fateful week later we walk home and I gather up my courage to confront her, face to face. "Yin... You uhh... About..." I began to stutter, and scratch the back of my head. The feeling of heat had rushed to my face, and she found it pretty obvious I had something to say, and she gave me permission to ask her about anything, so that she could help me feel better, so I did. "Yin, the other day you said you can't go out with me... Does that mean, that it's possible you want to go out with me, but can't?" Yin had begun to talk, but lucky me a passing car was honking their horn, a car was trying to merge into the driving lane after picking up their child from school I think, but aside that I hadn't heard what Yin had said. I ask her to tell me again, but her ride had arrived, so I smiled and waved as I saw her off. I then proceeded to curse my fate, wondering why an Anime like situation was occurring.
The next day I was given another letter from Yin, It had told me that she actually did like me, she agreed to go out with me as long as we did it in secret. I felt my body go out of orbit from how high I jumped after reading the letter. Then we began to do something special, we began to write love letters back and forth daily, like a pen pal, but we saw each other every day. As we walked each other to class, he hand became a target my eye never neglected. I had never held hands before, and it was something I wanted to do, but we had decided to keep our relationship a secret so holding hands at school was out of the question, but we only ever saw each other at school. One day I gather up my courage for my very first ever initiative attack! I hug her. It was embarrassing, and quick almost like tagging someone in a game of tag. I walk off after giving her my letter telling her that I wanted to act more like a couple, so I was going to try harder. There had been a question written which probably would have prolonged our relationship if it were not written. "Why can't we act like boyfriend and girlfriend during school if your parents won't see us?" The next day I was given a letter, and instructed to only read as soon as I got home. Smiling and shaking with excitement I run home that day, without walking with her like I had usually done.
Once I got home I opened up the letter and threw the envelope in a drawer that I used to hold all of our letters. Then I opened the letter itself. Her grammar was always off, and she had the cutest handwriting that I ever did see, but that beauty was going to break my heart. She had written that we had to break up, she was only dating me to make me happy. She didn't want us to act as a couple during school, because she was afraid that the boy she liked would see us, so when I hugged her she had to stop it. I had never shed tears over a girl before that day, and frankly I never would have wanted to, who would? Suddenly the memories of us had swam through my head like a fish in a stream. I sat up on my bed, waited for the tears to stop, then finally went to sleep. Little did I know I was not about to give up.
4 years had then passed and I had asked her out 8 different times after the first 2 rejections. I didn't want to give up, I made valentines gifts, I chose the best moments, I was there for her whenever she needed, and I smiled and always acted like nothing was wrong. Until finally something had occurred that would help me with my love sickness. Valentine's Day was around the corner and I had been excited, I drew a special Valentine's Day card of her favorite manga characters at the time, and had it ready for presentation. Then I caught a fever. For three days I was sick I missed Valentine's day, and while I was sick my Mother and Brother played tricks on my waking me up 9 different times claiming that it was a new day each time, telling me I hadn't eaten for 9 days. My fever had me so sleepy and tired that I really thought it was true. For 3 days I hadn't really eaten or drank water though, I was barely able to stand when I went to school.
Wednesday was a special day of the week every week at my school. School started 2 hours later than usual, I ran around the school campus towards the Library and the Cafeteria, the two places she hangs out with my group of friends, and her group of friends, at the time I belonged to 4 different groups that I would always visit during lunch, after school, and before school. Before I knew it I saw her... Holding hands with one of my good friends, let's just call him Gomi. Some may say that it's out of spite that I call him this, but it is justified later. Gomi and Yin had held hands together walking towards the Library, and I caught them. They had walked up to me, it was unavoidable, for them, and for me. Gomi had pointed at himself and Yin and asked," I know you really liked her, but we like each other... Are we cool?" Looking at them holding hands I saw the one thing I always wanted to do with her disappear. I smiled to them and congratulated them. Then I ran to the Cafeteria where my friends were, playing a popular trading card game. My friends were silent when I got to the table, asking if I was okay, and asking me where I had been. I asked them when Yin and Gomi got together, and to their knowledge it was Valentine's Day.
For the 3 years I knew Gomi I had constantly talked about how in love I was with Yin. During times of rain I acted like a fool and held the umbrella over her head and her friend, don't get me wrong I loved to get wet in the rain so I actually wanted to be in the rain. I was fully aware, they offered a lot to have me be under the umbrella with them. I had talked to her, knew everything about her, and was the best friend I could possibly be for her. And it was still up to me to be her "best friend in the world" she would say, and I accepted the job, because if I really wanted her to be happy, she would be happy with Gomi. But then tragedy began to fall upon her.
Gomi had often hung out at my house, but lately I had noticed video games missing, and it only had just begun to happen as I let him back into my house. Scared of accusing a friend of theft I set a camcorder in my room, catching him in the act. Saddened I banished him from my house, but he didn't catch the clue that I didn't want him to be involved with my life. We talked during school due to him forcing himself into my conversations, then one day when it was their 1 month anniversary he had talked to me with one of his friends. He had told me about how Yin never wanted to kiss, and that it was annoying. Then he talked about another girl, at first I figured it was just guy talk we were doing, just talking about this girl who happened to be my friend. Let's call her Cammy. He had talked about how he was hanging out with Cammy a lot, talking, they shared many interests, but then I heard news that made me want to beat the living shit out of him. He had stated that he had kissed her, and stated that he only ever got hard kissing Cammy. I immediately went to Yin and told her about his cheating. Maybe I didn't want them together, but I believe I told Yin because it was the right thing to do. Yin broke up with Gomi and wound up dating a new guy not a month after breaking up. So I finally gained the intelligence required to give up on her. Years later I found out Cammy had no idea Gomi was dating Yin, but by then Gomi was no longer in my life, and neither was Yin.
After 4 years of endlessly chasing after Yin, I had realized that I had to give up, because I could never have her. I spent 4 years making a fool of myself. And I had soon fallen in love with a new girl for another 4 years half a year after getting over Yin, but that is another story
