Pirate Ponies

by Meadow Melody

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 2236

A story of back before Equestria was founded, and when ponies lived on the high seas.

There were three waitresses at a restaurant in Ponyville known as "The Oat & Apple". Their names were Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack. However, they find a golden device that sends them to a weird universe full of pony pirates and ships one day after work. Princess Twilight Sparkle needs help rescuing her older brother, Shining Armor, from her father's rival; Captain Fancy Pants. He wants to kidnap Twilight and her brother, so he can have the throne rather than their father, which is his brother, King Blueblood. Her royal adviser, Rarity, highly discourages her, but Twilight does what she thinks is right anyway. The three unlikely mares find themselves in assisting in the rescue plot. Can they save Prince Shining Armor before he gets killed by Captain Fancy Pants?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-23 21:09:59 UTC

Chapter One ~ New Faces, Old Enemies

Princess Twilight Sparkle was on board a large ship with her older brother, Prince Shining Armor, and royal advisor, Rarity. They also had a crew of stallions on the ship in case somepony should choose to attack their vessel. Only a few members of the royal guard, to be exact. There was a strong wind to keep the ship moving north, and the sea was slightly choppy. They had been traveling towards Meldania to trade items from their home, Jewel Valley. Everything was smooth sailing, until a ship appeared on the horizon.

A crew member gasped then shouted below to the upper deck, "Captain Shining Armor, Fancy Pants is on the port side!"

Shining Armor looked out to the ocean, where he saw a great ship coming towards theirs. "Everypony, to your stations! We've got trouble coming for us!" He turned his attention to Twilight, "Rarity, take Twilight to her room. She'll be safe there."

"But, I want to help!" Twilight protested.

"Go below deck. Now." Shining Armor looked at her sternly. Applejack saw the ship almost to their deck, and took Twilight below instantly. There was a long hallway below deck, but she took Twilight to the second to last door at the end of the hall. It was Twilight's headquarters, or room. As they entered the room, they heard swords clashing above deck and yelling.

"Well, what do we do now?" Twilight asked.

Rarity replied, "Your highness, I think it's best we stay down here."

"No, there has to be a way to help my brother." She explained. Twilight levitated a sword and began to run towards the door, to head upstairs. Applejack got in the way and stopped her. "Step aside, Rarity!" Twilight said.

"Twilight, as your advisor, I cannot let you pass through this door! Your combat skills are yet not ready! You aren't prepared for this kind of fight!" Rarity exclaimed.

She said down the sword on a chest. Twilight sighed, "Fine, that leaves us one last thing to do."

"Indeed. Hide until the savages have gone away!" Rarity suggested.

"No. We can use this!" Twilight held up a golden sphere with two giant black circles on the side, and one red button on top.

Rarity looked disgusted at it, "What in Luna's night is that meant to be?"

"Father gave me this, it's a Help Seeker. It could help us." Twilight replied.

The fighting above deck continued, "Well, I suppose now is a good as time as any." Rarity stated.

Twilight spoke to the Help Seeker after pressing the button to turn it on, "We need help, go find somepony to help us, somepony like..."

Rarity started giving it suggestions, "The army, the navy?!"

"Heros! We need heros that can save us!" Twilight shouted.

Rarity responded, "Keep your voice down!"

The Help Seeker understood the command that Twilight gave it, and it rolled backwards out the window of her bedroom, to find the ponies to help them. Back above deck, things were spicing up.

"Haha! You think you can beat me, boy?!" Fancy Pants slashed his sword at Shining Armor.

Shining Armor held up his sword to block his blow. "Stop this raid! You're supposed to be my uncle!" Fancy Pants hit his sword out of his hooves, and it landed in a barrel. Two stallions of his uncle's crew held him so he couldn't escape. All of his crew was also cornered, as Fancy Pants' crew was more powerful and stronger than Shining Armor's.

"True, but sadly, your daddy took everything away from me. Including one of my hooves. Which is why I have to wear this blasted hook to keep me moving." He replied. "Oh, by the way, where is my favorite niece?"

"You aren't getting to her!" Shining Armor grunted, trying to get free.

"Very well, send him to our ship's brig." Fancy Pants commanded. The two stallions took him away. Then he looked at one of his members, "Search the ship. Find the mare."

"Yes, sir." The member replied. He opended the trap door, and went beneath the deck. He checked all the rooms, where no pony was.

"I hear somepony coming!" Twilight gasped.

Rarity retorted, "Hide, quickly!"

The crew member came into Twilight's bedroom, creaking the door open. When he walked in, he saw nothing, but then he saw something behind the long curtain that looked like a light-purple hoof. He lifted his sword, then slowly walked towards it, and slashed the curtain. "Ha! Hmm...?" The only thing behind the curtain was a vase. He walked back out of the room, closing the door.

Twilight and Rarity had been hiding in her chest, which was surprisingly empty. "I think they're gone." Twilight whispered.

Rarity was the first one to get out, to make sure it was safe. She stared out the window and saw the ship sailing away, but Shining Armor was on it. She gasped, "Princess Twilight, your brother is being taken!"

"What?!" Twilight jumped up and ran to the window, "No! We have to go save him, Rarity!"

"I'm afraid I don't know how to navigate and steer a ship, your majesty." She answered. "Even if we did, we are not strong enough to hold them on our own."

She sighed, "I see your point, hopefully the Help Seeker can aid us...and soon."

In another world, an alternate world known as Equestria...

There was a dinner theater known as The Oat & Apple, a popular joint in Ponyville. There was always a play going on, and they had amazing food. Three waiters worked here, their names were Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack. The play going on was called "Sir Frederick and the Attack on Sunset Island". It was nearing the end of the performance, and they were singing a song.

"Hey, waiter! Over here!" Rainbow Dash flew over to the pony who asked.

"Can I help you?" She asked.

The pony replied, "Yes, I'd like some ranch for my salad."

"I'll get right on that...Pinkie Pie!" She hollered, but not loud enough to interrupt the play.

Pinkie smiled, "You called, Dashie?"

"Yeah, this pony wants some ranch for her salad." Rainbow Dash retorted.

"R-Ranch?" Pinkie Pie's smile turned into a frown, but fearful.

"What's the matter? I just want some ranch." The pony said.

Pinkie Pie gulped, "You see, the ranch is in the back room...and...it's very, very...dark..."

"And?" The pony questioned.

"It's on my list." Pinkie answered.

"Your...list? Excuse me?" She asked.

Rainbow Dash growled, "Her list of things she's scared of."

"I've never heard of anything so ridiculous. Get my ranch now, or I'll request a refund!" The mare argued.

"Are you serious?! Come on, it's just some ranch! You can live without it!" Rainbow Dash shouted.

The pony replied, "This is a restaurant, I want service, and I want ranch!"

"Technically, this is a dinner theater." Pinkie Pie interrupted.

"SHUT UP." The pony yelled.

"Okay, that's it, no pony tells my friends to shut up! That's my job!" Rainbow retorted.

"Ahem. Is there a problem here?" Luna, their manager, came up to them.

The mare spoke, "Yes, there is. I requested ranch dressing from your 'waitresses', and they refuse to do so."

"Get this pony some ranch. Dash, this is one of your strikes...don't let it happen again, you're on thin ice!" Luna warned before walking away.

Rainbow Dash growled, "I'll be right back..." She quickly flew off to the back room and came back with a whole bottle of ranch, then drenched her salad in it. "There, I hope that's enough for you." Then she threw the bottle of ranch out, since it was empty.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the theater, Applejack was talking to her sister. "So, ya enjoyin' the show, Applebloom?"

"You bet! Did you see Sir Frederick knock that pirate off into the water?! That was so cool! I wanna be a pirate captain when I'm older, sis!" Applebloom replied excitedly.

Applejack chuckled, "Just keep dreamin'. Hey, y'all want me to take you and your friends down to the set tonight?"

"Sorry, Applejack. Fluttershy said she'd take us down on Thursday so we can get swords, just like Sir Frederick!" Scootaloo grinned.

Sweetie Belle smiled, "Yeah! It's gonna be so awesome!"

Fluttershy replied, "Everything's under control, don't worry, Applejack."

"Oh, a-alrighty then..." Applejack frowned a bit, and walked off.

Pinkie Pie zipped over to her, "Hey, AJ! What's the matter?"

"Nothing, Pinkie..." Applejack responded.

Rainbow Dash flew over and added, "Come on, there has to be something wrong."

Applejack sighed, "It's just, my little sister doesn't see me as a role-model. She looks up to pirates and theater."

"What's wrong with wanting to be an actress?" Pinkie asked.

"She doesn't just want to act as a pirate. She wants to become one." Applejack explained to them.

"Yeah...that's bad." Rainbow said.

Luna came up to the three waitresses, "Alright, the show's over. Start cleaning up." Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash followed behind Applejack. She threw plates at Rainbow Dash and mugs at Pinkie Pie, which they caught and started stacking. Applejack cleaned the counter once the dishes were out of the way.

"Are you girls gonna audition for the parts in the next play?" Pinkie asked.

"Do you think we stand a chance? We'll always be cabin ponies." Rainbow stated.

Applejack replied, "She's gotta point."

"But, you know the most about pirating, Applejack!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

Rainbow Dash brighted up, "She makes a better point." She chuckled a bit.

Applejack scoffed, "Aw, shucks. I still don't wanna audition, though. It's not my thing."

They ran into a zebra on the counter as they were cleaning. "Excuse us, but we need to clean up this area. So, move it." Rainbow Dash

demanded.

Pinkie Pie added, "Yeah, plus the show's over!"

The zebra only spoke, "The hour is near, the time is coming, adventure awaits. Though you will stumble, the crab will show you the light. When adversity devours you, a lever will set you free. When all hope is lost, help will come in the shape of...a donkey. Take heed, my friends, for the stage is set for the heros at hoof." The zebra then walked away, as if nothing was said.

"The crab of adversity will devour the donkeys? What was that all about?" Pinkie asked.

Rainbow Dash replied, "I don't know, but why would a blind zebra be in a dinner theater?"

"Maybe she likes the music." Applejack guessed.

"Oh! 'The stage is set for the heros at hoof'! That means we could be stars!" Pinkie shouted.

Rainbow Dash responded, "Pinkie, that could mean anything."

"But, lookie! There's the stage, we're the heros that need to audition!" Pinkie Pie added.

"Yeah, but-" Rainbow was cut off by her.

"What could go wrong?!" Pinkie begged. "Please?!"

"Ugh. Fine." Rainbow Dash replied.

"Yay!" Pinkie Pie was excited.

Applejack butted in, "I think the chest in the back of the stage has some leftover pirate costumes in it. Let's go get 'em on!" All three of them came out.

"I look like an idiot." Rainbow Dash pouted.

'Nah, Dashie! Come on, it'll be fun! Time to get on stage!" Pinkie Pie smiled.

"Alright, show me whatcha got. It's past my bedtime..." Moongazer said, yawning and starting to doze off. "Position three."

Applejack started to climb the rope-net, then looked up, afraid of climbing any higher, "Um, can I do my line from here? I'm done..."

Pinkie Pie grabbed a sword and started swishing it around while Rainbow Dash pretended to be a lookout. "Cue the kraken." A giant plastic sea-dragon rose up from the water of the set.

"That's on my list! Ahhh!" Pinkie Pie screamed, running into the net which Applejack was on.

"Gah!" Applejack was raised up onto the top of the sail and her hoof was caught as she hung upside down, and the sack fell on a loose board, flinging the board into a cannon, making it fire past Moongazer's head, into the wooden stand, but just barely missing her.

"H-Huh?! What'd I miss?" Moongazer gasped. "What did you do to my beautiful set?!"

"Heh." Pinkie chuckled nervously.

Luna kicked them out into the back ally way, "You're fired!" She slammed the door behind them.

"Well, that was a waste." Rainbow said. Garbage ponies came by, and a golden ball fell out from behind it. "Oh great, free garbage."

Applejack asked, "What is this thing?"

Pinkie Pie picked it up and held it, and it started blinking red on the two once black circles on the sides.

"It's a bomb!" Rainbow Dash gasped.

"I don't think it's a bomb." Pinkie Pie said.

Applejack also gasped, "Nope, it's a bomb! It's gonna blow! Ahh!" Rainbow Dash and Applejack hide behind crates that were in the ally. She looked back up, "Hey, it stopped blinking."

"I pushed the button." Pinkie Pie replied.

"Wait. What button?" Rainbow Dash asked. A row-boat showed up in the ally a few feet away, it fell from the sky. "Where'd this even come from?!"

"Who cares?! Free boat, whoo!" Pinkie Pie jumped in.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash shrugged and got in with her. "It's so old..." Applejack commented.

The ball started blinking red again. "Hey! We can have two row-boats!"

"No, Pinkie! Don't push that button!" Rainbow Dash shouted.

It was too late, and Pinkie Pie had already pushed the button.