The Pinkie Portal

by Wonder

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Pinkie Pie
Length: 969

Rainbow Dash uncovers one of the secrets of the Pinkieverse

Rainbow Dash visits Pinkie Pie at Sugarcube Corner. As you would expect when Pinkie is involved, things get weird.

Published 2016-05-18 21:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-18 21:00:01 UTC

Parfait

"Hey, Pinkie!" Rainbow waved to her jovial friend as she flew into Sugarcube Corner. "How's it hanging?"

"Well, she's fairly resilient but I think she'll suffocate soon enough." Pinkie grabbed a baking tray from beneath the counter and placed it onto the wooden surface.

"Huh? What did you just say?" Rainbow slowed her approach, almost certain she had misheard her friend.

"I said I'm feeling super resilient and I'll be done making some Parfaits soon. Ya want one?" Pinkie spoke as she moved about the shop. "They'll be out of the fridge in exactly five minutes and thirty-two seconds."

"Wow, that's oddly specific. I guess I could stay for one." Rainbow shrugged.

"So Dashie, what brings you here?" Pinkie asked as she whisked a bowl of cream that Dash could have sworn wasn't there a second ago.

"Oh, right! I almost forgot. You know how I'm an official member of the Wonderbolts and all that? Well we got a show over in Los Pegasus in a few weeks and I've got a few tickets. You want in?" Dash grinned as she held up a gold and blue ticket with the Wonderbolt emblem embossed onto it.

"You're kidding, right?" Pinkie ducked under the counter. "Of course I'm in!" Pinkie popped out from behind Rainbow and grabbed the ticket in her mouth.

"AAHHH!!" Dash jumped three feet into the air and stayed there, her wings keeping her level. "How did you do that?!" Pinkie swallowed the ticket and burped.

"Mouth eye co-ordination. Pretty basic stuff Dashie." Pinkie stated as if it were obvious.

"Not the ticket grabbing thing. The disappearing under the counter and appearing behind me thing. I know you're Pinkie Pie and all that, but that's just... just... I don't even know what that was!"

"A magician never reveals her secrets." Pinkie pulled her cape around her which until three seconds ago wasn't there.

"Pinkie, you're not a magician. You can't even do magic, you don't have a horn!" Rainbow let herself fall back to the ground and pulled her wings to her side.

"Oh, you got me there. I'll follow you to the grave." Pinkie threw the cape onto the floor and bowed before Rainbow. "My lady."

"Pinkie! I'm not kidding. That was some really freaky shit, okay. How did you do that?" Rainbow grabbed Pinkie by the withers and pulled her to her hooves.

"Rainbow! Watch your language. Now we have to label this story as teen. What would Captain America say? Forshame." Pinkie shook her head in disappointment.

"Pinkie, I don't have time for this. Just tell me." Rainbow growled. Normally she could deal with Pinkie's antics but this was getting on her nerves.

"Hmm, very well. But before I tell you anything you must defeat my seven deadly pies." Pinkie looked longingly into the distance which since they were indoors equated to her looking at the wall, but it's the drama that counts.

"Pinkie if you don't tell me your secret I'm going to-" Rainbow tightened her grip on Pinkie's shoulders.

"Oh hey, Spitfire!" Pinkie looked past Dash and smiled.

"What?! Where!" Dash dropped her grip on the party pony and spun to face the door with a large toothy grin on her face. It took her a moment to realise that there was nopony there and another moment to realise what Pinkie had done. She had tricked her. "Oh, that's it." Rainbow spun to face Pinkie but she was already gone.

"Pinkie! Where are you?!" Pinkie popped her head out the kitchen door.

"In here, silly. This is a bakery after all. Gotta bake the goods." She gave Dash a wink before disappearing back into the kitchen.

"Pinkie." The cyan pegasus slowly walked towards the kitchen. "I'm not joking around. Tell me your secret." Dash rounded the corner and saw Pinkie placing a tray of muffins in the oven.

"Well first I coat the tray in lemon zest to give them a nice tangy flavour. It gives them character." Pinkie began reciting her recipe.

"Not the freaking muffins!" Rainbow yelled. "Just tell me about that thing you did earlier."

"I would, but you haven't said the magic word yet." Pinkie smiled as she checked the clock on the wall. "oh, almost time."

"Magic word..." Rainbow tilted her head in confusion before frowning. "You're kidding right. Ugh, fine. Please..." Pinkie kept looking at her. "Seriously? Please tell me your secret, Pinkie Pie."

"Well why didn't you say you wanted to know?!" Pinkie grinned.

"I did, several times." Rainbow said through gritted teeth.

"Potato, avocado. Same thing. Now pay attention, I'm only going to show you once." Pinkie took a step back from Rainbow and pointed her hoof at the ground. Dash's eyes widened in surprise as a large orange oval appeared where the floor used to be.

"How in the wo-" Rainbow watched in awe.

"Wait for it." Pinkie jumped into the oval and disappeared from view before bursting out of the fridge with a tray of Parfaits in her hooves. "Now who wants dessert." Rainbow look at Pinkie then back the the ground but the portal was already gone.

"Screw dessert, how did you do that?" Rainbow grabbed Pinkie's spare hoof and pointed it at the ground, hoping to make another portal appear.

"I ate a portal gun, obviously. It tasted like lemons. Now, if you still wanted to screw the Parfaits I could give you some privacy."

"You really do like messing with ponies heads, don't you?" Rainbow grabbed one of the cold desserts and gave it a lick, not even bothering with using a spoon.

"Meh, it's a living." Pinkie shrugged.

Author's Note

This is what happens when you write a story in thirty minutes at 4am in the morning after pulling an all nighter. You're welcome. :rainbowwild: