One Hell of a Guy!

Chapter 1: He's the Last Member of the D.K. Crew

It was the kind of day that could put any nervous mind to rest. Chunky Kong laid in a hammock inside his cousins treehouse. Normally this would be impossible since D.K. claimed the resting spot the majority of the time but today was different. The rest of the crew took out to find a Kremlings hideout somewhere. Beyond that description the crew wasn't really sure where to look so they've decided to look everywhere they can. Chunky on the other hand came down with a severe case of the 'tummy aches' so he couldn't make this endeavor. His family understood and allowed him ownership of the tree house for the time being.

He casually swayed side to side enjoying the warmth from the midday sun. The treehouse was covered in banana peels that Chunky casually threw onto the ground after consuming its tasty insides. While he swayed a funky beat played from the boom box in the corner of the room. Nothing could honestly be better at this moment.

Although a thought did creep into his head of something going wrong while his family looked for the Kremlings hideout. Maybe D.K. bit off more than he could chew. Maybe Diddy's jetpack malfunctioned and shot him off into space! What if Lanky's arm stretched out but never came back. What if Tiny Kong shrank and got stepped on!?!

Chunky Kong could feel his heart beat increase just below his ribs. Sweat began to form as his thoughts grew darker and darker. He couldn't take it anymore and he tried to separate himself from the hammock. Unluckily for him his foot got caught on the hammock as he stood. Chunky tried to get his appendage out but to no avail. With more tugging came a tighter grip on his leg. An idea popped into his head, Chunky took a casual runner stance and tried to run out of the trap.

His small but strong legs forced his body forward about five feet when he suddenly shot back. The whiplash didn't end there as he was flung back to his original position and then he became airborne.  With a high pitch squeal he flew above the forest already regretting his horrible decision of moving. Looking down his heart plummeted with his sight. Everything was much smaller even when Chunky is in his giant form. Trees that he would have to climb to get bananas they now looked like ants. Fear gripped him tightly and he panicked not knowing what to do. He flew over the jungle and soon flew over the beach of D.K. Island. His mind was largely unfocused until he noticed something.

He heard a noise. Not just a noise but music from a very familiar instrument. He looked down and saw something moving. Chunky squinted his eyes hoping to get a better look. It took him a second to finally see the image correctly but eventually he did make it out.

His entire family was on the beach having a good ol' time. Diddy Kong was rocking out on stage with his electric guitar. D.K. was scratching some records next to his little buddy. Tiny, Lanky, and even Cranky were dancing in front of the stage. Funky and Candy were off to the side where even from the height he was at Chunky could tell Funky was being shot down. Despite a second of levity there was some anger that washed over Chunky.

How could they have a party without him? Was he not good enough? It was true that Chunky missed out on the whole hunt for the Kremlings but his family knew he didn't like fighting. They should've seen the 'tummy' excuse coming. Okay aloud that sounds really bad. Maybe he did deserve to be shut out of a family function or two because of his cowardice. Maybe he even deserved to be kicked out of the D.K. crew. Maybe he. . .

*Sploosh*

A large splash of water formed from the ocean. Chunky quickly regained his bearings and floated to the top. He looked back at the beach and his family was none the wiser. He sunk a little bit back under the water so his mouth was submerged. He blew some bubbles and thought about what he should do next. Chunky felt embarrassed that his family wouldn't tell him about this part, and more embarrassed of himself and why they chose not to tell them. One shining beacon did arrive though as a paper fell from the sky. He grabbed the paper before it fell on his face.

The paper looked to be an pamphlet for a place called 'Equestria'. There was even a map on the back side that detailed its location compared to the island. The swim to the continent was a short one if Chunky put some of his strength into it. Folding the paper Chunky put it in the back of his sweater nearest his neck. He looked back at his family who still didn't notice his presence. With a deep inhale the ape turned and took off for the strange new land.

It was a beautiful twilight shimmer on the ocean. The sun reflected liked a brilliant orange inferno, the water surrounding the light was such a succulent blue that could quench thirst just by looking at it. This extended into the river that Chunky swam up. He eventually made landfall in front of a thick forest, and even though he was tired something called to him telling  him to stop in this particular spot. Chunky shook off the moisture on his body and took to the forest.

The Everfree was not very different from the jungles he already knew. Yes it was a bit more humid and more dense but all-in-all he still felt at home. On the upside, thicker forest meant more vines to swing from, which would provide quick travel. There was something ominous though, the forest felt too quiet, like something was waiting for him.

"AHH!" just then a high pitch shriek rang through the forest.

Chunky swallowed knowing that whatever made that scream was either scared by something or in danger, either way in most likely meant a fight. True he didn't want to fight  but the scream also sounded like a small girls and just then the image of a terrified Tiny warped into his mind.

He immediately started swinging towards the screams.

"Get back you meanie!" an orange pegasus shouted.

"I don't think that they speak Equestrian, Scootaloo." Sweetie Belle admonished with fear still apparent in her voice.

"Whadda we gunna do? I don't wanna be Timberwolf food." Apple Bloom shook holding her friends tight to her.

The three fillies huddled together hoping that something would happen to distract or stop the predators in front of them. Timberwolves, fierce beasts made of wood and held together by the Everfree's magic. They hunt in packs and will tear apart any pray they find, hunger or not, the weaker the better. They skulked ever slower towards the fillies revealing in the moment. Just as they were about to lunge towards their next meal a large figure interrupted their path.

"AAARRRGH!" Chunky exclaimed as he landed and rotated his body arms outstretched and his fists acting like maces at the end.

The Timberwolves stopped and quirked what could be considered their eyebrows. They didn't know what to make of the hairy figure in front of them. But they still needed to sate their desire to dig into flesh. Chunky looked on as the pack ducked down slowly prowling towards him. The ape swallowed hard as he realized his intimidation technique didn't work. He was sweating bullets. Looking back and forth Chunky figured there had to be something he could hide behind. Then he noticed three brightly colored fillies behind him.

He then jumped backwards and cowered behind them, confusing the Timberwolves to the point of halting their advance.

"Hey!" the CMC shouted.

They jumped behind Chunky, confusing the Timberwolves even more.

He looked around noticing he was in the line of fire once again, so he reclaimed his spot behind the CMC.

Then they jumped back.

Then he jumped back.

Then they jumped back. . .

(One hour later)

. . .Then he jumped back.

Then they jumped back.

Then he jumped back.

Suddenly the air got a lot less thick and the landscape morphed from jungle to grassland. The fillies looked around and realized they not only got away from the Timberwolves but also made it out of the Everfree. They started to pat down their bodies to make sure it wasn't a dream. Once they were satisfied Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle jumped in the air cheering as loud as they could. The celebration didn't last long however as the three fillies noticed the large ape stand up just behind them.

"Um." Scootaloo started before she, along with her friends, were engulfed in a large hug.

"I think he's happy." Sweetie Belle breathed.

"You can say that again."

"I think he's hap--"

"Ah don't think she meant that literally Sweetie." Apple Bloom interrupted.

Chunky eventually let the three down and stared at them expectantly. The CMC looked at each other slightly afraid to make the next move. It was Sweetie who eventually took the stage.

"So. . Who are you?"

Chunky responded by yelling and beating his chest.

". . .Did anypony else catch that." Sweetie asked looking back at her friends. They shook their heads.

Seeing the confusion on their faces Chunky looked on not knowing how else to communicate with them. He mulled it over for a few seconds and then an idea popped into his head. The ape reached behind him and grabbed the very paper that led him here. He handed it to the fillies and they looked it over. They saw it was some sort of pamphlet for visiting Equestria.

"Girls, are you thinkin what I'm thinkin?" Apple Bloom smirked along with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS TOUR GUIDES!"