I love you. I know you don't love me. I know that your crazy for him and the way you love him reminds me of how I love you. And I know there is just no point in this, no point in forever hoping to grasp you. Never to hold you and never to kiss you.
I know I'm just daydreaming. I know this whole crush thing is silly. I know it's childish.
But it hurts. All of it does. When you speak of him it stings.
I just don't know. I'm confused. What do I do?
He better be good to you. He better love you. That's all I care. I try to stay strong and keep my head help up high, try to move on. Try to go somewhere else, try to escape the warmth you give my heart when I see you, how it's hard for me to speak to you, and I have to stop that, because if I continue loving you the path is going nowhere, it's basically running on a road that will never end. I can't chase roads with no end.
I look at the mirror. I'm a dragon. She's a mare. It's creepy to think of her loving me. It's creepy. I'm just not perfect. I want to be that stallion. I want to be her love. I want her to love me. To get that same warm feeling around me, to be pink faced when I talk to her. But those are my dreams. And dreams aren't real.
Welcome to the real world. Try to get used to it. It's been three years and I still can't let go! How can I let go!? How do I give up this worthless crush that leads to nowhere.
Twilight came into the door and she looks breathless. "Rarity is in trouble.."
"What!? Why?" I asked.
"She locked herself in her room." Twilight said taking shaky breaths. "She does not want any of us to come in.."
"What are you going to do?" I said.
"Read up on pony philosophy!" Twilight said using magic to get a few books from the shelf. "Maybe I can read up on it and find out how to react in this situation."
"I'm going to go." I said heading out the door.
"Are you sure? She isn't letting in anybody.." Twilight said.
"I need too, Twilight." I said closing the door.
The night was cold and frosty. I trudged through with the wind hitting my face with ice like breeze. It felt almost as cold in my heart as I felt. Fear also. What was Rarity up to? What was happening to her? What and why did it happen? I couldn't stand thinking of her depressed by herself not wanting to see anyone locked in a room crying. Crying salty tears.
I saw the Carousel Boutique and I paused before entering the door. Maybe I shouldn't enter, maybe she would get mad or something, maybe- I had to go in. I stomped my foot and went into the house. Applejack stood on a seat thinking, Rainbow Dash was with her, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were helping out Sweetie Belle who I could see was having a breakdown or worrying to her sister.
"Hi Spike." Applejack said not sure of what else to say.
"I'm going to try." I said.
Dash and AJ looked at each other and then at me and I knew there was nothing for them to say. I walked up the stairs.
Memories. Memories of me and Rarity. This whole boutique had memories of what Rarity and I would do with each other, and the fun we've had.
There was her room locked. And deep sobs came from inside. I knocked the door.
"Just leave me alone whoever it is!" Rarity screamed.
"Rarity it's Spike." I said.
"Just go!" She said.
I took a shaky breath, she was mad, what should I say what should I do without ruining our friendship. Then I realized. I couldn't be worried about that, I had to say what needed to be said.
"Rarity. Your sitting around moping and crying and your not willing to have people help you! I'm here to help your friends are here to help! What do you think we're here for!? Were here to listen! But if you just want to keep it in and cry about it go ahead! I'm always here and I'll be here if you need me. Please talk to me. We are worried and scared like hell. Please let us help you! We won't look down on you!" I said at the top of my lungs tears rolling down my eyes and biting my lips as a feeling of a mixture of anger, pain, and sadness filled my heart.
I heard no reply. No sobbing. No sound. She is ignoring me. I decided to head down the stairs. I could not convince her.
The door clicked. The door opened slightly. Her head peaked out. She was bruised and scarred with bite marks on her cheek.
"Come in Spike." Rarity said sobbing. "Please just you."
I came in. The room was a mess. She had a bunch of tantrums. You could see her pain as she emphasized it in her room. It made my heart swell to think of what she went through.
"I-I..." She said sobbing tears rolling heavily from her bloodshot eyes.
I messaged her back slowly and in a calming tone spoke. "You can tell me about it if you want too. Everything is going to be alright."
"No it's not. I did a horrible thing!" Rarity said slamming her hoof on the wall. "It's my fault!"
I remained silent. Scared. What should I do next? I should have brought the book on helping ponies through depression book.
"You know the stallion I was dating?" She asked.
I nodded my head. I hated thinking about it. He was an arrogant idiot but I never would let that show.
"Last night on our date." Rarity said softly. "He brought me to his apartment for dinner. And he forced me to have sex with him. H-h-he told me to have sex with him or else he would rape and kill my best friends and stuff you up if I didn't. I put you all at risk so I had sex with him all night.."
Pain. This stallion was hurting Rarity emotionally and on the outside. I had to stray strong for Rarity. The mare I loved.
"He had no right to do that!" I said.
"He was going to murder all of you." Rarity said in an angry dark tone.
"You should have escaped and run to the police." I said.
"I couldn't risk having you hurt.." Rarity said turning her head. "It's my fault for getting him attracted to me and looking pretty.."
"No stallion or mare has the right to have sex or control you.." I said. "You have the right to your own body. We'll call the police and have him arrested immediately on sexual abuse charges."
"Why was I so stupid!? Why am I so evil!?" She screamed stomping her hooves on the bed.
"Your never close to evil.." I said. "Your one of the most kindest mare I have known. He was attracted to you because your such an awesome and generous mare who cares about people and inspires people a pony that he wishes he could be! Rarity you change lives you give ponies the feelings of opportunity with your generosity! And no one can say that your not that!"
"Your just saying that.." A soft sobbing voice said in reply.
"No. That's why I fell in love with you.." I said not realizing what I said until I said it.
"Spike...I..." Rarity said taking a few deep breaths.
"Shhh..All that matters and all you need to know is that I'll always be there for you." I said holding her tight into a warm loving hug. "I am here."
"I needed this." Rarity said sobbing in my shoulders. "I care about you a lot too."
I knew she only cared about me as a friend. But I didn't care. I love her and I can't change that. It's just a fact. Maybe one day I'll stop chasing roads that lead to nowhere, someday I will be able too.
"Are you ready to see them?" I asked her.
"Call them in.." Rarity with a nod.
I went over down the stairs and I could hear a beautiful sound. A little laugh of joy.
"I'm ready.."
