Stargate SG-1: The Elegant and Most Powerful Goddess Trixie!by VaporingRatChaptersOneTwoThreeFourOneI ran as far away as I could get from that town, and that Unicorn. I galloped deeper into the forest, not caring to note which one I was in. How could somepony do something like that to me? Had they actually taken my bragging seriously? It was just an act, a stunt to lure the crowds in. How else would I get their attention? Just standing there and showing off your tricks may work occasionally, but to get all the good money you have to sound appealing to them. I never really defeated an Ursa Major, or an Ursa Minor, I just said those things so that I wouldn't be ignored. I was always alone, travelling. My parents weren't pleased that my talent was illusions and magic, they were both dentists. I performed at functions and parties in my hometown, Manehatten, but I longed to go out there and show my talent to everypony in Equestria! So that's what I did. I got a wagon, took my belongings and left Manehatten. I never set hoof there again. The Stargate stood alone with its DHD in the middle of a large rocky plain that stretched out for at least a mile in all directions. Also by the gate was a MALP, a probe of Earth origin that was sent through hours before. Seven lights on the gate lit up with an orange glow, before some kind of blue foam-like substance came shooting out from the middle, before retreating back into the centre of the ring, which was now filled with a pool of light that rippled like water, but was in fact a stable wormhole from halfway across the galaxy. Not long after it had activated, a man wearing green trousers, green jacket and a green hat with a black tactical vest and a P90 grasped firmly in his hands walked through. He was followed by a woman with blond hair who had the same outfit and weapons, but without the hat, another man who also had the same outfit, but didn't carry a P90 and had a backpack and bandanna, and finally a bald man with a golden tattoo on his forehead. He had the same outfit, but carried a strange staff with him. The foursome continued their conversation like nothing had happened, considering they had just travelled fifty thousand light years from one planet to another in a blink of the eye. “Face it Daniel, Star Wars is way better than Star Trek,” Colonel Jack O’Neill said as he put on his sunglasses and looked around the surrounding area. A large forest surrounded the rocky plain at its edge, with the small exception of several stone structures way out into the distance. “Jack, have you considered the philosophical and social impact Star Trek has on our lives? It covers a lot of the issues we face every time we step through the gate, wherever we make contact with new cultures or when we come across others who need our help in solving problems that we cause.” Daniel Jackson challenged, recalling several times in which SG-1 had caused disasters and had to fix them. O’Neill started to walk in the direction of the stone structures. The rest of SG-1 followed his lead. “So what? Star Trek is just fantasy, and besides, Enterprise has made the whole thing crappy,” O’Neill countered. Daniel sighed, and vowed to continue the age old argument of Star Wars vs. Star Trek when they returned to Earth. Their mission was a simple one today: travel to P8F-211 and make contact with the locals. Hopefully, the SGC could broker a trade agreement with the locals, and possibly kill a Goa'uld in the process. This is what missions were like for SG-1: saving civilizations, finding alien tech and beat the crap out of the snakeheads. SG-1 walked in silence for ten minutes, before Teal’c broke the peace. “I recommend caution, O’Neill,” Teal’c said as he looked around warily. “This planet was once belonged to Ba’al, and is of strategic importance.” “And you’re telling us now?” O’Neill stopped and turned around to look the Jaffa in the eye. “I did not recognise it at first. The area around us used to be a fortress, but it appears to have been destroyed.” "So, no current Goa'uld landlord then?" O’Neill asked. The team started to walk again, with the stone structures as their destination. "It does not appear so." “You said that the planet was of strategic importance, so why would Ba’al abandon it?” Major Carter asked from the rear of the group. “I do not know, Major Carter.” Teal’c replied. “We might be able to find answers over at those buildings,” Jackson pointed out. The buildings in question were now closer, and after another half hour of walking, they had arrived at the edge of a towering stone wall. An archway in the wall showed a limited view of the civilization beyond it, which was a street filled with people going around and doing their daily jobs or errands. “Greetings, fair travellers!” a man called out in greeting from inside the archway as he walked towards SG-1. O’Neill noticed that he had a black ink tattoo of a wand with a star tip and several black dots on his forehead. “Greetings,” Jackson replied as he moved to stand next to O’Neill. “What brings you here to our humble city?” the man asked. “We are peaceful explorers, who have come a far way to trade,” Jackson said as his diplomatic side kicked in. “We have plenty of traders for you to trade with, fair travellers! Come, I shall show you around!” the man said joyfully as he led SG-1 through the archway and into the city. O’Neill noted that the wall was very thick, probably about ten metres thick. The man started to take them on a tour of the street, pointing out shops and stalls selling food and wares, as well as several places to dine and a tavern. The team noticed that everyone they saw had the strange tattoos on their foreheads, and the symbol was even painted on walls, the ground, and on flags that seemed to move despite the obvious lack of wind. Eventually, their guide led them to a square with the same symbol at the centre, and at the far end of the square, a pyramid stood. “And this is the palace of the Goddess!” their guide said happily as he gestured to the pyramid. “Uh, excuse me?” Jackson said quickly before their guide could speak again. “Yes, fair traveller?” the man said. ‘I really wish he’d stop saying that,’ O’Neill thought. “I was wondering, who is the Goddess? And how often does she come here?” Jackson asked the questions that had plagued the team’s mind since their guide first mentioned the Goddess, which was when he pointed out a side street. “Ah, the Goddess! She graces us with her presence every day, reminding us of her power and beauty!” the man said as he gazed at the pyramid dreamily. “Can we see the Goddess?” Jackson asked, while Teal’c and O’Neill moved away a little to have a private conversation. “Do you recognise their tattoos?” O’Neill asked Teal’c as the two shot careful glances around to make sure no one was listening. “I do not, O’Neill. This planet may belong to a minor Goa’uld,” Teal’c replied. Before they could discuss the matter further, Jackson and Carter came over. “Azarn has agreed to try and arrange an audience with the Goddess for us,” Jackson announced. “Who?” O’Neill asked as he looked around. He noticed that the man was gone. “Azarn was the one that took us on the tour, sir,” Carter explained. “How long did he say it would take to arrange an audience with this ‘Goddess’?” O’Neill gave the pyramid a long glare. “He didn’t say,” Carter replied. SG-1 decided to stay put and admire the city from their spot. The sun was starting to set, and after four hours of waiting, they decided to leave and head back to the gate for their check-in with the SGC. But as soon as they had started to move, trumpets suddenly started playing as a platform carried by four men entered the square from the pyramid. People started to gather around the platform and cheered. Fireworks started to go off from somewhere behind the platform, lighting up the plaza in shades of green, red and blue. But SG-1 didn’t notice the fireworks or the loud cheers from the crowd, because they had their eyes fixed firmly on the thing that was seated at the top of the platform: a horse. Well, a horse with a horn on its head and wearing a lot of gold. O’Neill groaned. Worshipping parasites was one thing, but a horse?! The four men that carried the platform and the horse stopped, right in front of SG-1. The crowds formed a circle around them, as a tension filled silence filled the air. The horse and SG-1 stared at each other, waiting for the other to speak. “Alright, show’s over folks!” O’Neill shouted out to the crowd gathered as he turned his back on the horse and the platform bearers. “You see this? This is a horse. Not a God or Goddess, but a horse.” The crowd gasped slightly at O’Neill’s words. “Trixie is not a horse! She is a Goddess!” the horse exclaimed angrily, catching SG-1 by surprise. O’Neill turned around sharply to face the ‘horse’, while Jackson’s jaw dropped, Carter stared with curiosity and Teal’c raised an eyebrow. “Forgive my friend. We have come far away on a long journey, he did not mean any harm,” Jackson managed to say after he had rediscovered the power to speak. The Goddess glared down at Jackson, before turning her head away. “The Elegant and Most Powerful Goddess Trixie does not accept any excuses from neigh-sayers,” she said, shooting O’Neill yet another glare. ‘Sheesh, if her glares were bullets, I’d be Swiss cheese by now,’ O’Neill thought to himself. Jackson nudged O'Neill and shot him a look that said apologise-or-we-are-in-trouble. “Does it help if I say I’m sorry?” O’Neill asked innocently and sincerely. "Only if you can beat me at a challenge," Trixie said as a small but evil, 'oh so evil', smile spread across her face/muzzle/WHATEVER! "Name it." O'neill said determined. "A contest to see who is the best at magic!" Trixie exclaimed as the crowd cheered and the fireworks went off again. "That's it?" 'and I was thinking it was going to be a series of trials that test our loyalty, kindness, generosity, honesty and laughter, or some crappy honour thing.' Okay, first, I would want to point out that each chapter will start off with a bit about Trixie, and how she ened up halfway across the galaxy. Secondly, all thoughts in the main story are the thoughts that are going through Jack O'Neill's mind. Thirdly, thanks to the guy who created image #24 in Equestria Daily's #451 drawfriend and to Fluttershy511 for doing an SG-1 crossover before me, which made me realise that there is a surprising lack of Stargate stories on this site. As usual, let me know if the characters are written wrong, or if the spelling and grammer is horrible, or why you just don't/do like it. TwoLeaving Manehattan for the last time, I set off with only my wagon and as many of my belongings as I could carry. I travelled for ages until I reached Canterlot, where I decided to perform on the street. I found a nice place in a square, at the edge, and started to show off my talent and magical abilities. Unfortunately, the high society ponies ignored me. I tried my best but I just couldn’t attract them. So I doubled my efforts, continuing to show every ounce of my magic tricks to please them, but they continued to ignore me. Some even reported me to the guards and I had to leave Canterlot in a hurry before I could get into any trouble. Now what? Trying to perform in Canterlot was a mistake, and I had only a small amount of money left after I had spent most of it on a beautiful costume to show my abilities. I needed to go somewhere where my talent could be seen by all. I needed fame and fortune, and there was only one place that could meet all three of my needs: Las Pegasus. It was a rash, quick and bold decision; getting there would take several weeks on hoof, but I was determined. If I can make it there, then I can make it anywhere. "That's it?" 'and I was thinking it was going to be a series of trials that test our loyalty, kindness, generosity, honesty and laughter, or some crappy honour thing.’ “Yes, it is. Trixie understands if you feel unworthy to accept the challenge, for you have no hope of defeating the Elegant and Most Powerful Goddess Trixie!” more fireworks went off as Trixie rose up on her hind legs and posed for the cheering audience. “Well, we accept your challenge!” O’Neill called out over the noise of the audience. “Jack, what are you doing?” Jackson asked in a low voice, but Trixie could still hear it. “Proving to these people that this horse isn’t a Goddess, Daniel,” O’Neill replied. “But what about the trade agreement?” Jackson asked. “We can establish a trade agreement with them after we prove that this ‘Trixie’ is a false god.” O’Neill responded, effectively deflecting the question. “Me? A false god? The Elegant and Most Powerful Goddess Trixie has never heard such slander against her true nature in all of her immortal life!” the crowd agreed with Trixie, as they booed SG-1. “Okay, how about we do a deal?” O’Neill half asked, half shouted over the negative response of the crowd. “Trixie is listening,” Trixie said after she had raised a hoof to silence the crowd. “If you win the challenge, then we leave peacefully. If we win, then you must step down from your high horse-” Trixie shot a glare at O’Neill as the crowd started to boo again. “Sorry, my bad. If we win, then you must leave this world and go back to whatever stable you galloped out of, and never return.” Trixie put a hoof to her chin in mock thought, while she formulated a plan. After a few seconds, she turned to face the crowd. “The Elegant and Most Powerful Trixie accepts, but with one condition.” “And that would be?” O’Neill asked as a weird sensation of dread building in his gut. “You will have your memories wiped if you either dare to cheat, attempt to leave, or if you cause any trouble, and we’ll dump you on another world afterwards. Also, if you decline the challenge now, Trixie will wipe your memories anyway.” Trixie looked down at SG-1 with a smug, evil smile on her face. “Deal,” O’Neill begrudgingly replied. ‘Did I just get conned by a talking horse?!’ “Excellent. Azarn shall take you to the best tavern in the city, where you shall stay until sunset tomorrow, when we have our challenge,” Trixie said before she motioned to her platform bearers to take her back into the pyramid. More fireworks as the crowds cheered for their Goddess as she entered the pyramid. Soon, the crowds had vanished all too quickly, and Azarn had appeared in front of SG-1. “Brave challengers, follow me to the best tavern in the city!” Azarn said happily as he began to walk down a side street. “Jack, that was a bad idea,” Jackson said as he walked next to O’Neill. “What was?” O’Neill asked. “Agreeing to the challenge and making all those conditions! We can’t back out now because we’ll have our memories wiped, if we lose we’ll fail in our mission and you just insulted the city’s ruler in front of most of its inhabitants.” Jackson explained as they turned round a corner and into a main street. “Don’t worry Danny boy, we won’t lose, because I have a plan.” This is all I can manage with this chapter because of one special event: the Queen of England’s Diamond Jubilee. I am helping out with a Jubilee party so I only had today to write a chapter. Don’t worry, after the Jubilee I will be able to write a longer chapter for this coming weekend, I promise. “Do you Pinkie Promise?” GAH! Pinkie! Where did you come from?! “Your imagination, silly!” …I need to get out more. But now for a couple of notices- “You didn’t Pinkie Promise! I’m sure the readers would want you to Pinkie promise them that the next chapter will be super duper long!” Sigh… if only you go back to wherever you came from, then fine. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye (thank god I wear glasses otherwise I’d actually poke my eye out). “Okie dokie then! See you in the next chapter’s authors notes!” And she’s gone, thank god. Now notices… First, a thank you to km for pointing out some errors and giving me feedback for the first chapter. Hopefully the characters should be more in character. Secondly, thanks to earthrise for suggesting some ideas that may appear later. And finally, thanks to everyone who has liked reading this story so far. Please comment about mistakes, or if the characters are out of character, or if Pinkie appears out of nowhere and starts talking to you, because that is a bad thing. Whatisname, over and out! “Bye everyone!” GAH! Stop breaking the Fourth Wall! ThreeI had begun my journey to Las Pegasus, and already I have made a mistake. I had taken the wrong road and went a mile in the wrong direction, towards the Everfree forest. I cursed myself for my poor sense of direction and took another road that would get me to Trottingham, and from there I can continue my original route To Las Pegasus. After a day of travelling, I pitched my wagon on the side of the road and lit a bonfire. As I was relaxing, an Earth pony trotted by, and stopped by my wagon. He asked me about where I was going, to which I replied ‘Las Pegasus’. I asked why he wanted to know, and he said ‘I’m heading there too. I was wondering if I could travel with you.’ I said no, and he asked ‘are you sure?’ ‘Yes! Now go away!’ I had shouted at him. I just wanted to be left alone, and the fact that he looked messy and dirty with all those patches of fur missing also disgusted me. He walked away, and I went back to staring into the fire. The next day, I was off again, and I could see Trottingham in the distance. Azarn stopped outside a large marble building, which turned out to be the best tavern in the city. He led SG-1 inside and started to talk to the tavern owner, while SG-1 looked around the inside. The main tavern part was like a wetherspoons, but more Greekish and not as modern. People were sat at stools and tables drinking beverages from tankards and mugs, while others tucked into vibrant looking salads. All of the patrons of the tavern were happy and smiling, and a calm and relaxed sense of tranquillity floated lazily in the air. “The owner of this fair tavern has agreed to provide you with both meals and accommodation for two nights during your visit to our humble city. Please excuse me, but I must return to the archway,” Azarn explained when he had rejoined SG-1. “Thank you for showing us around, Azarn,” Jackson said as Azarn started to leave. “It is no problem, brave challenger! I wish you luck!” Azarn called back as he hurriedly left the tavern. O’Neill quickly found a table for four and the rest of his team joined him at the table. Almost as soon as they had sat down, the tavern owner had appeared out of nowhere. “So, what can I getcha?” the tavern owner asked in a surprisingly and unnaturally high pitched voice for a man of his age. “We would like to see a menu, please,” Jackson said as he looked up at the tavern owner. “No probs. Call me over when ya want to order.” Jackson nodded as the Tavern owner passed out four menus from behind his back. “Excellent. I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse,” O’Neill said as he grabbed a menu. It took merely ten seconds for the comment to sink into the heads of the four humans and Jaffa. O’Neill realised too late the inappropriate comment that he had made. “Enjoy your stay…” the tavern owner said dangerously as he shot a death glare at O’Neill, before walking away. Jackson sighed and placed his head in his left hand. “It was a slip of the tongue, honest!” O’Neill said as he tried to salvage the situation. Luckily, Carter came to his rescue at that moment as she changed the subject. “So, what’s your plan sir?” Carter asked as she placed the menu in front of her, while O’Neill opened his and began to browse it thoroughly. “Well, I’m hoping they do a nice steak, and I’ll have some of that cider to wash it down…” “I believe Major Carter was referring to the plan that you mentioned on our way here, O’Neill,” Teal’c said as he sat stiffly in his seat, not even bothering to look at the menu. “Ah, that plan. *Quick pause in which O'Neill tried to think of a good plan while pretending to read the menu* Teal’c, I want you to go to the edge of town and see if you can catch Hammond over the radio. They should be due to check in on us in… thirty-five minutes.” Teal’c acknowledged in his usual head nodding manner. “Carter, Daniel and I will remain here, maybe have a few pints, get plastered, then hit the hay. Dang, where’s the meat on this menu?” O’Neill explained the first part, before grumbling the second. He scanned the menu thoroughly, but couldn’t find any meat on it at all. Jackson cleared his throat, signalling for O’Neill to continue. “Then, tomorrow we split up and search for clues. Teal’c and I will search the pyramid and the square, while you two (Jackson and Carter) search this side of town.” Carter and Jackson looked on with slight bemusement while Teal’c raised an eyebrow. “What?” O’Neill asked as he looked between the stares of his team mates with confusion. “Nothing, just wondering what they’ve been putting in those antibiotics that you were given after we returned from D4R-6T5,” Jackson replied as he raised the menu to block his face from O’Neill’s glare. “Very funny,” O’Neill muttered, before turning in his seat and whistling loudly to catch the tavern owner’s attention. D4R-6T5 was a planet SG-1 had visited previously on their last mission. It was a lush jungle world, with the most beautiful scenery that almost made Teal’c cry at the sheer amount of beauty. The down side: the entire planet was inhabited by giant wasps. Wasps varying in sizes from a Labrador, to the size of a three-story house. SG-1 had barely escaped with their lives, and O’Neill almost died as one of the wasps stung him while he defended Jackson as he dialled the DHD. O’Neill shuddered at the memory. The tavern owner came over, after O’Neill had managed to grab his attention, and he collected the menus. “So, what are you having?” he asked coldly. Very coldly. As in sub-zero cold. “I’ll have the ’Trixie Supreme Salad’, please,” Jackson replied. “I will have the same,” Teal’c said. “Same for me please,” Carter added. “Do you have any meat?” O’Neill asked. Jackson groaned. “The Elegant and Most Powerful Goddess Trixie outlawed the eating, production or selling of meat products within the city walls,” the tavern owner explained with malice. O’Neill got the point. “I’ll have nothing, then.” “And for drinks?” “A round of ciders, please,” Jackson answered. The tavern owner nodded before walking away, occasionally glaring at O’Neill. “Everyone on this planet is vegetarian?!” O’Neill cried out in exasperation as he looked at all the smiling patrons, who were eating nothing but salads. “It makes sense, sir. Horses are herbivores, so it would be natural that the civilization here would adapt to being herbivores in order to worship their goddess without her feeling uncomfortable. That and the goddess outlawing meat may have a part in it too.” Carter explained. O’Neill was tempted to comment on Carter calling the talking horse thing ‘her’, but decided not to. “Are you planning to fast during our time on this world, O’Neill?” Teal’c asked with slight concern, or at least it looked and sounded like concern to O’Neill. It was hard to read emotions from a Jaffa whose permanent social status was a brick wall that occasionally talked and moved, even after four years of working on the same team. “Don’t worry T, I’ll just have the MREs,” O’Neill replied as the tavern owner came over with a tray of wooden mugs full of a slightly bubbly, amber liquid. “Here are your drinks,” he said in a colder voice than before. O’Neill, Teal’c, Jackson and Carter took a mug each and drank at the same time. Jackson removed the mug from his lips and gave the contents a satisfied smile. Carter licked her lips to get any foam, Teal’c raised an eyebrow, and O’Neill almost choked. The tavern owner sighed mentally, wondering what the visitor was going to say this time. “Do you have any alcoholic drinks here?” O’Neill asked as he glanced down at the cider in his mug. “All alcoholic drinks are outlawed by the Elegant and Most Powerful Goddess Trixie’s wishes,” the tavern owner grumbled, before walking away hurriedly. “Of course they are…” O’Neill muttered, as he gave the cider a suspicious glance. It took a couple of hours, but I had reached Trottingham before noon. I spent an hour stocking up on supplies, but my money situation was getting desperate. I needed to earn some more bits, so I looked around town for a job. Fortunately, there was a inn that hosts entertainment every night, but the entertainer booked for the evening had called in sick. I offered my talents and the innkeeper accepted. I had my first show! I spent some time going over my rotine and making sure that the outfit that I had bought in Canterlot was cleaned and ready. Soon, the time came for my appearance on stage, and I bravely stepped from behind the curtain and into the center of the stage. But I was overcumbered with stage fright! I wanted to speak or move, but the inn was full of ponies and they were all looking at me. I managed to pull myself together at the last minute and I started to perform a dazzling illusion. The crowd watched the dancing lights, transfixed as i made them assume several shapes: a pony running, rushing water, and the rising sun. After an hour and a half, I was exhausted from creating the illusions and finished my act. The ponies cheered as I left the stage, and went to the back to meet the innkeeper. He gave me a bag of bits and offered a room for me to sleep for the night. I thanked him and took my pay. I never stopped smiling until I fell asleep in my room, dreaming of crowds cheering my name and Princess Celestia crowning me as the best pony ever. O'Neill woke up from the chair he was in thanks to the shining rays of the sun. Last night, they had eaten their salads/militry rations, and while Teal'c was checking in with the SGC, the rest of SG-1 attempted to mingle with the patrons of the tavern, but stopped when the tavern owner gave them a stern glare. They had all regrouped in the room that they were staying in, which consisted of one single bed, two chairs, and a wooden table. There was a problem concerning who should sleep in the bed. Carter didn't mind where she slept, while O'Neill and Jackson both insisted that she take the bed. Teal'c didn't get involved, as he found a nice spot on the floor and meditated throughout the night. Eventually, O'Neill ordered Carter to have the bed as he and Jackson settled in their chairs. But now O'Neill was up, it was time to wake everyone else in his usual manner. "Good morning, campers!" O'neill called out cheerfully as he mock stretched. jackson blinked several times before he finally got up from the chair, Carter was out of the bed in a flash, geared up and ready to go in seconds, while Teal'c stood up and was ready in a similar amount of time. After everyone was fully awake and geared up, SG-1 went downstairs to claim their free breakfast. 'Please be hash browns, fried bread, beans, grilled tomato and a coffee. Please!' O'Neill thought desperately as he and his team took their seats at the same table from the night before. He was disappointed, however, when breakfast turned out to be a bowl of fruit and nuts for each member of SG-1. Teal'c and Carter ate their meals without a problem, while Jackson started to pick orange lumps outof his bowl. O'Neill simply opened another MRE After breakfast had finished (Teal'c had eaten O'Neill's share), SG-1 walked out of the tavern and into the street. "Alright, we all know what we have to do today, so lets meet back here at lunchtime. Radio if you find anything," O'Neill said to Carter and Jackson, who walked down the street heading east. Teal'c and O'Neill went west and towards the pyramid. O'Neill and Teal'c arrived at the pyramid ten minutes later. They both looked up at the tall structure, before looking forward at the entrance. As they walked towards it, O'Neill noted somewhat bemusedly that the pyramid was giving out 'free tours', as a line of people waited egearly to enter the pyramid. That, and there was a sign at the end of the queue. Below the sign was another that read: 'queues likely'. "No duh..." O'Neill muttered as teal'c took a spot in the queue. Carter and Jackson were exploring the opposite side of the city, which was mostly a residential area. They had stopped and talked to several people, gaining bits of information regarding the goddess' origins, but all they got was 'the Goddess has protected us and led us for as long as I remember'. "This doesn't make any sense. No-one can remeber the origin of this goddess, which is puzzling because usually cultures would preserve the memory of when their god or goddess came to them and forge it into a tale," Jackson thought aloud as he and Carter walked down another residential street. "Maybe we'll have some luck at the library. Several of the people here have suggested it," Carter said. "Right," Jackson said in acknowledgement and started to head back in the direction they came from. "Uh, Daniel? Its the other way," Carter said as she pointed in the direction they were walking in previously. "I'm sure its this way Sam," Jackson insisted as he gestured to his destination. "But I'm sure it was this way," Carter said as she looked around. The realization that they were lost hit them at the same time. O'Neill and Teal'c were still in the queue, determined to get into the pyramid and do a spot of snooping, scooby style. But queues are queues and this particular queue reminded O'Neill of a queue he had stood in for almost twenty minutes at a gas station in DC. Things livened up a little as someone attempted to push in front of Teal'c. As everyone took a step forward simultaniously, like one of those cartoons, a man Jackson's age quickly slipped in between Teal'c and the woman in front of him. This was a mistake. Teal'c tapped the man on the shoulder. The man turned around and said "what?" in an irritable manner. "You have joined the queue at the wrong spot. I suggest you proceed to the back of the queue and wait there," Teal'c said calmly. The man just scoffed. "So? Whatcha gonna do if I don't 'proceed to the back of the queue'?" the man asked as he balled his hands into fists. "I will remove you from this spot using force if you do not move," Teal'c said calmly, but the tensin filling the air and the sense oof incredible danger of the situation made the smart people in the queue to back away nervously. Unfortunately, the man wasn't smart. "Oh yeah? I'd like to see you try!" the man said smugly as he dropped into a fighting stance. He hopped on the balls of his feet, raising his fists to protect his face, before throwing a few punches at Teal'c's chest. The punches did nothing to injure the Jaffa, but they did serve to annoy him further. He grabbed the man by the front of his shirt and threw him to the side, where he went flying through the air for several feet before landing on the stone floor of the square. The man slowly got up, looking at Teal'c with horror before runnjing away. "Nice one, T!" O'Neill commented as the people near them rejoined the queue, except for those in front. The entire queue and half of the square had seen the incident, and the people were looking at Teal'c with a mixture of fear and awe. The people in front of O'neill and Teal'c, parted, allowing them to jump right to the front and enter the pyramid. I apologise for this being a day late, as I have good news and bad news. Good news is that I have a new computer! Bad news is that my new computer doesn't have Microsoft Word so I can't spellcheck my work. This explains the reason why there are more errors tha usual this time, so I ask of you to please tell me if there are any mistakes. I do try my best, but I'm only human, after all. I wish i was a pony... But on a lighter note, my new computer is alot better than my old one, as Minecraft doesn't lag now. So I might start doing Lets Play vidioes of games that I play. I can't start right away, but when I do get it off the ground, you guys will be the first to know. please comment, like and point out any mistakes that you see. Also, the meat in the mystery meatloaf ain't meat... FourI woke up the next day feeling refreshed. After looking around the room, I collected anything that was mine and went down for breakfast. The delicious smell of cooked food wafted in from the kitchen made me even hungrier, so I took a seat and ordered a portion of hash browns, grilled tomatoes and toast. As I ate the food, it reminded me of my mother's cooking. I miss my parents... But that feeling went away as i finished my breakfast and bid the innkeeper goodbye. I left Trottingham after gathering up some supplies, and set off out towards Las Pegasus once more. After a while, I stopped for lunch and a rest, and to my utter disbelief, discovered that my wagon had been graffitied at the rear! It was the result of foals messing around, and a good scrubbing would clean it right off, but I kept it there, mainly of what they have written. The Great and Powerful Trixie. Jackson and Carter poured through as many books as they could to find any information, but all the books were filled with either stories of Trixie performing impossible feats with her Godly powers, how elegant and powerful she was, and the list of laws she had formed to help everyone live in a fair society. But there was nothing about her arrival or of the planet's past, and there was nothing about a Goa'uld ruling over the planet. "This is pointless," Jackson sighed as he tossed another book onto a pile before opening another. "We should've found something about the planet's past by now," Carter said as she plucked a book from a shelf, glanced at the title, then put it back. "I wonder if Jack and Teal'c are having any luck..." Jackson pondered as he closed the book he was reading and tossed it onto the pile. "And here we have the throne room, where the Elegant and Most Powerful Goddess Trixie holds the daily court to answer the issues of the city and its people. And we're walking!" the tour guide said as she led a small group through the pyramid, with O'Neill and Teal'c hanging back. "You ever get that weird sense of deja vu whenever she says that?" O'Neill asked Teal'c as they followed the tour group. "I do not, O'Neill," was the reply from the stone-faced Jaffa. "Huh, guess its just me..." O'Neill muttered as they walked past a display case containing some kind of purple object. Not long afterwards, the two members of SG-1 came across a hidden door, that someone had foolishly exposed by putting a sign saying 'private' on it. O'Neill rolled his eyes as Teal'c found the switch and opened the door. Making sure no one was watching them, they snuck through and closed it again. They had emerged in a circular chamber, with a familiar pattern in the middle o the room. "Sweet, rings. Let's see where they go," O'Neill said as they searched for a switch. Eventually, they found one, and after a brief moment as they tried to guess the combination of the Goa'uld control panel, they had managed to activate them and were transported up high above the sky. The Elegant and Most Powerful Goddess Ttrixie pretended to listen to the citizen in front of her complain about the new guests. She was starting to regret to allow them to stay in the city, let alone the planet, but she couldn't let them go. She knew that the portal that they obviously came through only led to Equestria, and if they returned and told Princess Celestia... "Thank you my kind subject, but The Elegant and Most Powerful Goddess Trixie has an appointment to keep, but I will continue to listen to your problems another time," Trixie said, and the citizen nodded in response, happy that he had the chance to speak to his Goddess. Trixie rose from her throne and disappeared into a doorway that led to her private chambers at the top of the pyramid. As she entered the room, she closed the door behind her and went over to her bed. It was large, and apparently, it belonged to the previous ruler of this planet. She sighed as memories of her life in Equestria resurfaced. Just thinking about those four and where they'd come from brought up memories of her family, which she would never see again. But Trixie would never go back. She will win the challenge, and Trixie+plansxcheating=victory... Or so she thought. *pop* Hi guys. New chapter. *pop* What am I doing? I'm popping bubble wrap. *pop* It's great fun, and it's also good for relieving stress. *pop* Time for thanks. Thanks to ralfil for pointing me in the direction of a Word substitute. Hopefully the spelling errors and mistakes are less than usual. Thanks to CaptRicoSakara for being awesome and already knowing too much about what's to come. And thanks- *pop* -To everyone that has liked this story so much that they feel like watching me. That sounds creepier than it should be. *pop* Also, I gave myself the go-ahead to write a HiE fic, probably starring me, so any opinions/ideas/suggestions are greatly accepted and framed on my mantlepiece. *pop* Also, I have read Stargate: Equeatria, so stop bugging me about it. Geez... In the meantime, have some bubble wrap to pop. ... Dangit, I ran out of pops...
OneI ran as far away as I could get from that town, and that Unicorn. I galloped deeper into the forest, not caring to note which one I was in. How could somepony do something like that to me? Had they actually taken my bragging seriously? It was just an act, a stunt to lure the crowds in. How else would I get their attention? Just standing there and showing off your tricks may work occasionally, but to get all the good money you have to sound appealing to them. I never really defeated an Ursa Major, or an Ursa Minor, I just said those things so that I wouldn't be ignored. I was always alone, travelling. My parents weren't pleased that my talent was illusions and magic, they were both dentists. I performed at functions and parties in my hometown, Manehatten, but I longed to go out there and show my talent to everypony in Equestria! So that's what I did. I got a wagon, took my belongings and left Manehatten. I never set hoof there again. The Stargate stood alone with its DHD in the middle of a large rocky plain that stretched out for at least a mile in all directions. Also by the gate was a MALP, a probe of Earth origin that was sent through hours before. Seven lights on the gate lit up with an orange glow, before some kind of blue foam-like substance came shooting out from the middle, before retreating back into the centre of the ring, which was now filled with a pool of light that rippled like water, but was in fact a stable wormhole from halfway across the galaxy. Not long after it had activated, a man wearing green trousers, green jacket and a green hat with a black tactical vest and a P90 grasped firmly in his hands walked through. He was followed by a woman with blond hair who had the same outfit and weapons, but without the hat, another man who also had the same outfit, but didn't carry a P90 and had a backpack and bandanna, and finally a bald man with a golden tattoo on his forehead. He had the same outfit, but carried a strange staff with him. The foursome continued their conversation like nothing had happened, considering they had just travelled fifty thousand light years from one planet to another in a blink of the eye. “Face it Daniel, Star Wars is way better than Star Trek,” Colonel Jack O’Neill said as he put on his sunglasses and looked around the surrounding area. A large forest surrounded the rocky plain at its edge, with the small exception of several stone structures way out into the distance. “Jack, have you considered the philosophical and social impact Star Trek has on our lives? It covers a lot of the issues we face every time we step through the gate, wherever we make contact with new cultures or when we come across others who need our help in solving problems that we cause.” Daniel Jackson challenged, recalling several times in which SG-1 had caused disasters and had to fix them. O’Neill started to walk in the direction of the stone structures. The rest of SG-1 followed his lead. “So what? Star Trek is just fantasy, and besides, Enterprise has made the whole thing crappy,” O’Neill countered. Daniel sighed, and vowed to continue the age old argument of Star Wars vs. Star Trek when they returned to Earth. Their mission was a simple one today: travel to P8F-211 and make contact with the locals. Hopefully, the SGC could broker a trade agreement with the locals, and possibly kill a Goa'uld in the process. This is what missions were like for SG-1: saving civilizations, finding alien tech and beat the crap out of the snakeheads. SG-1 walked in silence for ten minutes, before Teal’c broke the peace. “I recommend caution, O’Neill,” Teal’c said as he looked around warily. “This planet was once belonged to Ba’al, and is of strategic importance.” “And you’re telling us now?” O’Neill stopped and turned around to look the Jaffa in the eye. “I did not recognise it at first. The area around us used to be a fortress, but it appears to have been destroyed.” "So, no current Goa'uld landlord then?" O’Neill asked. The team started to walk again, with the stone structures as their destination. "It does not appear so." “You said that the planet was of strategic importance, so why would Ba’al abandon it?” Major Carter asked from the rear of the group. “I do not know, Major Carter.” Teal’c replied. “We might be able to find answers over at those buildings,” Jackson pointed out. The buildings in question were now closer, and after another half hour of walking, they had arrived at the edge of a towering stone wall. An archway in the wall showed a limited view of the civilization beyond it, which was a street filled with people going around and doing their daily jobs or errands. “Greetings, fair travellers!” a man called out in greeting from inside the archway as he walked towards SG-1. O’Neill noticed that he had a black ink tattoo of a wand with a star tip and several black dots on his forehead. “Greetings,” Jackson replied as he moved to stand next to O’Neill. “What brings you here to our humble city?” the man asked. “We are peaceful explorers, who have come a far way to trade,” Jackson said as his diplomatic side kicked in. “We have plenty of traders for you to trade with, fair travellers! Come, I shall show you around!” the man said joyfully as he led SG-1 through the archway and into the city. O’Neill noted that the wall was very thick, probably about ten metres thick. The man started to take them on a tour of the street, pointing out shops and stalls selling food and wares, as well as several places to dine and a tavern. The team noticed that everyone they saw had the strange tattoos on their foreheads, and the symbol was even painted on walls, the ground, and on flags that seemed to move despite the obvious lack of wind. Eventually, their guide led them to a square with the same symbol at the centre, and at the far end of the square, a pyramid stood. “And this is the palace of the Goddess!” their guide said happily as he gestured to the pyramid. “Uh, excuse me?” Jackson said quickly before their guide could speak again. “Yes, fair traveller?” the man said. ‘I really wish he’d stop saying that,’ O’Neill thought. “I was wondering, who is the Goddess? And how often does she come here?” Jackson asked the questions that had plagued the team’s mind since their guide first mentioned the Goddess, which was when he pointed out a side street. “Ah, the Goddess! She graces us with her presence every day, reminding us of her power and beauty!” the man said as he gazed at the pyramid dreamily. “Can we see the Goddess?” Jackson asked, while Teal’c and O’Neill moved away a little to have a private conversation. “Do you recognise their tattoos?” O’Neill asked Teal’c as the two shot careful glances around to make sure no one was listening. “I do not, O’Neill. This planet may belong to a minor Goa’uld,” Teal’c replied. Before they could discuss the matter further, Jackson and Carter came over. “Azarn has agreed to try and arrange an audience with the Goddess for us,” Jackson announced. “Who?” O’Neill asked as he looked around. He noticed that the man was gone. “Azarn was the one that took us on the tour, sir,” Carter explained. “How long did he say it would take to arrange an audience with this ‘Goddess’?” O’Neill gave the pyramid a long glare. “He didn’t say,” Carter replied. SG-1 decided to stay put and admire the city from their spot. The sun was starting to set, and after four hours of waiting, they decided to leave and head back to the gate for their check-in with the SGC. But as soon as they had started to move, trumpets suddenly started playing as a platform carried by four men entered the square from the pyramid. People started to gather around the platform and cheered. Fireworks started to go off from somewhere behind the platform, lighting up the plaza in shades of green, red and blue. But SG-1 didn’t notice the fireworks or the loud cheers from the crowd, because they had their eyes fixed firmly on the thing that was seated at the top of the platform: a horse. Well, a horse with a horn on its head and wearing a lot of gold. O’Neill groaned. Worshipping parasites was one thing, but a horse?! The four men that carried the platform and the horse stopped, right in front of SG-1. The crowds formed a circle around them, as a tension filled silence filled the air. The horse and SG-1 stared at each other, waiting for the other to speak. “Alright, show’s over folks!” O’Neill shouted out to the crowd gathered as he turned his back on the horse and the platform bearers. “You see this? This is a horse. Not a God or Goddess, but a horse.” The crowd gasped slightly at O’Neill’s words. “Trixie is not a horse! She is a Goddess!” the horse exclaimed angrily, catching SG-1 by surprise. O’Neill turned around sharply to face the ‘horse’, while Jackson’s jaw dropped, Carter stared with curiosity and Teal’c raised an eyebrow. “Forgive my friend. We have come far away on a long journey, he did not mean any harm,” Jackson managed to say after he had rediscovered the power to speak. The Goddess glared down at Jackson, before turning her head away. “The Elegant and Most Powerful Goddess Trixie does not accept any excuses from neigh-sayers,” she said, shooting O’Neill yet another glare. ‘Sheesh, if her glares were bullets, I’d be Swiss cheese by now,’ O’Neill thought to himself. Jackson nudged O'Neill and shot him a look that said apologise-or-we-are-in-trouble. “Does it help if I say I’m sorry?” O’Neill asked innocently and sincerely. "Only if you can beat me at a challenge," Trixie said as a small but evil, 'oh so evil', smile spread across her face/muzzle/WHATEVER! "Name it." O'neill said determined. "A contest to see who is the best at magic!" Trixie exclaimed as the crowd cheered and the fireworks went off again. "That's it?" 'and I was thinking it was going to be a series of trials that test our loyalty, kindness, generosity, honesty and laughter, or some crappy honour thing.' Okay, first, I would want to point out that each chapter will start off with a bit about Trixie, and how she ened up halfway across the galaxy. Secondly, all thoughts in the main story are the thoughts that are going through Jack O'Neill's mind. Thirdly, thanks to the guy who created image #24 in Equestria Daily's #451 drawfriend and to Fluttershy511 for doing an SG-1 crossover before me, which made me realise that there is a surprising lack of Stargate stories on this site. As usual, let me know if the characters are written wrong, or if the spelling and grammer is horrible, or why you just don't/do like it.
TwoLeaving Manehattan for the last time, I set off with only my wagon and as many of my belongings as I could carry. I travelled for ages until I reached Canterlot, where I decided to perform on the street. I found a nice place in a square, at the edge, and started to show off my talent and magical abilities. Unfortunately, the high society ponies ignored me. I tried my best but I just couldn’t attract them. So I doubled my efforts, continuing to show every ounce of my magic tricks to please them, but they continued to ignore me. Some even reported me to the guards and I had to leave Canterlot in a hurry before I could get into any trouble. Now what? Trying to perform in Canterlot was a mistake, and I had only a small amount of money left after I had spent most of it on a beautiful costume to show my abilities. I needed to go somewhere where my talent could be seen by all. I needed fame and fortune, and there was only one place that could meet all three of my needs: Las Pegasus. It was a rash, quick and bold decision; getting there would take several weeks on hoof, but I was determined. If I can make it there, then I can make it anywhere. "That's it?" 'and I was thinking it was going to be a series of trials that test our loyalty, kindness, generosity, honesty and laughter, or some crappy honour thing.’ “Yes, it is. Trixie understands if you feel unworthy to accept the challenge, for you have no hope of defeating the Elegant and Most Powerful Goddess Trixie!” more fireworks went off as Trixie rose up on her hind legs and posed for the cheering audience. “Well, we accept your challenge!” O’Neill called out over the noise of the audience. “Jack, what are you doing?” Jackson asked in a low voice, but Trixie could still hear it. “Proving to these people that this horse isn’t a Goddess, Daniel,” O’Neill replied. “But what about the trade agreement?” Jackson asked. “We can establish a trade agreement with them after we prove that this ‘Trixie’ is a false god.” O’Neill responded, effectively deflecting the question. “Me? A false god? The Elegant and Most Powerful Goddess Trixie has never heard such slander against her true nature in all of her immortal life!” the crowd agreed with Trixie, as they booed SG-1. “Okay, how about we do a deal?” O’Neill half asked, half shouted over the negative response of the crowd. “Trixie is listening,” Trixie said after she had raised a hoof to silence the crowd. “If you win the challenge, then we leave peacefully. If we win, then you must step down from your high horse-” Trixie shot a glare at O’Neill as the crowd started to boo again. “Sorry, my bad. If we win, then you must leave this world and go back to whatever stable you galloped out of, and never return.” Trixie put a hoof to her chin in mock thought, while she formulated a plan. After a few seconds, she turned to face the crowd. “The Elegant and Most Powerful Trixie accepts, but with one condition.” “And that would be?” O’Neill asked as a weird sensation of dread building in his gut. “You will have your memories wiped if you either dare to cheat, attempt to leave, or if you cause any trouble, and we’ll dump you on another world afterwards. Also, if you decline the challenge now, Trixie will wipe your memories anyway.” Trixie looked down at SG-1 with a smug, evil smile on her face. “Deal,” O’Neill begrudgingly replied. ‘Did I just get conned by a talking horse?!’ “Excellent. Azarn shall take you to the best tavern in the city, where you shall stay until sunset tomorrow, when we have our challenge,” Trixie said before she motioned to her platform bearers to take her back into the pyramid. More fireworks as the crowds cheered for their Goddess as she entered the pyramid. Soon, the crowds had vanished all too quickly, and Azarn had appeared in front of SG-1. “Brave challengers, follow me to the best tavern in the city!” Azarn said happily as he began to walk down a side street. “Jack, that was a bad idea,” Jackson said as he walked next to O’Neill. “What was?” O’Neill asked. “Agreeing to the challenge and making all those conditions! We can’t back out now because we’ll have our memories wiped, if we lose we’ll fail in our mission and you just insulted the city’s ruler in front of most of its inhabitants.” Jackson explained as they turned round a corner and into a main street. “Don’t worry Danny boy, we won’t lose, because I have a plan.” This is all I can manage with this chapter because of one special event: the Queen of England’s Diamond Jubilee. I am helping out with a Jubilee party so I only had today to write a chapter. Don’t worry, after the Jubilee I will be able to write a longer chapter for this coming weekend, I promise. “Do you Pinkie Promise?” GAH! Pinkie! Where did you come from?! “Your imagination, silly!” …I need to get out more. But now for a couple of notices- “You didn’t Pinkie Promise! I’m sure the readers would want you to Pinkie promise them that the next chapter will be super duper long!” Sigh… if only you go back to wherever you came from, then fine. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye (thank god I wear glasses otherwise I’d actually poke my eye out). “Okie dokie then! See you in the next chapter’s authors notes!” And she’s gone, thank god. Now notices… First, a thank you to km for pointing out some errors and giving me feedback for the first chapter. Hopefully the characters should be more in character. Secondly, thanks to earthrise for suggesting some ideas that may appear later. And finally, thanks to everyone who has liked reading this story so far. Please comment about mistakes, or if the characters are out of character, or if Pinkie appears out of nowhere and starts talking to you, because that is a bad thing. Whatisname, over and out! “Bye everyone!” GAH! Stop breaking the Fourth Wall!
ThreeI had begun my journey to Las Pegasus, and already I have made a mistake. I had taken the wrong road and went a mile in the wrong direction, towards the Everfree forest. I cursed myself for my poor sense of direction and took another road that would get me to Trottingham, and from there I can continue my original route To Las Pegasus. After a day of travelling, I pitched my wagon on the side of the road and lit a bonfire. As I was relaxing, an Earth pony trotted by, and stopped by my wagon. He asked me about where I was going, to which I replied ‘Las Pegasus’. I asked why he wanted to know, and he said ‘I’m heading there too. I was wondering if I could travel with you.’ I said no, and he asked ‘are you sure?’ ‘Yes! Now go away!’ I had shouted at him. I just wanted to be left alone, and the fact that he looked messy and dirty with all those patches of fur missing also disgusted me. He walked away, and I went back to staring into the fire. The next day, I was off again, and I could see Trottingham in the distance. Azarn stopped outside a large marble building, which turned out to be the best tavern in the city. He led SG-1 inside and started to talk to the tavern owner, while SG-1 looked around the inside. The main tavern part was like a wetherspoons, but more Greekish and not as modern. People were sat at stools and tables drinking beverages from tankards and mugs, while others tucked into vibrant looking salads. All of the patrons of the tavern were happy and smiling, and a calm and relaxed sense of tranquillity floated lazily in the air. “The owner of this fair tavern has agreed to provide you with both meals and accommodation for two nights during your visit to our humble city. Please excuse me, but I must return to the archway,” Azarn explained when he had rejoined SG-1. “Thank you for showing us around, Azarn,” Jackson said as Azarn started to leave. “It is no problem, brave challenger! I wish you luck!” Azarn called back as he hurriedly left the tavern. O’Neill quickly found a table for four and the rest of his team joined him at the table. Almost as soon as they had sat down, the tavern owner had appeared out of nowhere. “So, what can I getcha?” the tavern owner asked in a surprisingly and unnaturally high pitched voice for a man of his age. “We would like to see a menu, please,” Jackson said as he looked up at the tavern owner. “No probs. Call me over when ya want to order.” Jackson nodded as the Tavern owner passed out four menus from behind his back. “Excellent. I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse,” O’Neill said as he grabbed a menu. It took merely ten seconds for the comment to sink into the heads of the four humans and Jaffa. O’Neill realised too late the inappropriate comment that he had made. “Enjoy your stay…” the tavern owner said dangerously as he shot a death glare at O’Neill, before walking away. Jackson sighed and placed his head in his left hand. “It was a slip of the tongue, honest!” O’Neill said as he tried to salvage the situation. Luckily, Carter came to his rescue at that moment as she changed the subject. “So, what’s your plan sir?” Carter asked as she placed the menu in front of her, while O’Neill opened his and began to browse it thoroughly. “Well, I’m hoping they do a nice steak, and I’ll have some of that cider to wash it down…” “I believe Major Carter was referring to the plan that you mentioned on our way here, O’Neill,” Teal’c said as he sat stiffly in his seat, not even bothering to look at the menu. “Ah, that plan. *Quick pause in which O'Neill tried to think of a good plan while pretending to read the menu* Teal’c, I want you to go to the edge of town and see if you can catch Hammond over the radio. They should be due to check in on us in… thirty-five minutes.” Teal’c acknowledged in his usual head nodding manner. “Carter, Daniel and I will remain here, maybe have a few pints, get plastered, then hit the hay. Dang, where’s the meat on this menu?” O’Neill explained the first part, before grumbling the second. He scanned the menu thoroughly, but couldn’t find any meat on it at all. Jackson cleared his throat, signalling for O’Neill to continue. “Then, tomorrow we split up and search for clues. Teal’c and I will search the pyramid and the square, while you two (Jackson and Carter) search this side of town.” Carter and Jackson looked on with slight bemusement while Teal’c raised an eyebrow. “What?” O’Neill asked as he looked between the stares of his team mates with confusion. “Nothing, just wondering what they’ve been putting in those antibiotics that you were given after we returned from D4R-6T5,” Jackson replied as he raised the menu to block his face from O’Neill’s glare. “Very funny,” O’Neill muttered, before turning in his seat and whistling loudly to catch the tavern owner’s attention. D4R-6T5 was a planet SG-1 had visited previously on their last mission. It was a lush jungle world, with the most beautiful scenery that almost made Teal’c cry at the sheer amount of beauty. The down side: the entire planet was inhabited by giant wasps. Wasps varying in sizes from a Labrador, to the size of a three-story house. SG-1 had barely escaped with their lives, and O’Neill almost died as one of the wasps stung him while he defended Jackson as he dialled the DHD. O’Neill shuddered at the memory. The tavern owner came over, after O’Neill had managed to grab his attention, and he collected the menus. “So, what are you having?” he asked coldly. Very coldly. As in sub-zero cold. “I’ll have the ’Trixie Supreme Salad’, please,” Jackson replied. “I will have the same,” Teal’c said. “Same for me please,” Carter added. “Do you have any meat?” O’Neill asked. Jackson groaned. “The Elegant and Most Powerful Goddess Trixie outlawed the eating, production or selling of meat products within the city walls,” the tavern owner explained with malice. O’Neill got the point. “I’ll have nothing, then.” “And for drinks?” “A round of ciders, please,” Jackson answered. The tavern owner nodded before walking away, occasionally glaring at O’Neill. “Everyone on this planet is vegetarian?!” O’Neill cried out in exasperation as he looked at all the smiling patrons, who were eating nothing but salads. “It makes sense, sir. Horses are herbivores, so it would be natural that the civilization here would adapt to being herbivores in order to worship their goddess without her feeling uncomfortable. That and the goddess outlawing meat may have a part in it too.” Carter explained. O’Neill was tempted to comment on Carter calling the talking horse thing ‘her’, but decided not to. “Are you planning to fast during our time on this world, O’Neill?” Teal’c asked with slight concern, or at least it looked and sounded like concern to O’Neill. It was hard to read emotions from a Jaffa whose permanent social status was a brick wall that occasionally talked and moved, even after four years of working on the same team. “Don’t worry T, I’ll just have the MREs,” O’Neill replied as the tavern owner came over with a tray of wooden mugs full of a slightly bubbly, amber liquid. “Here are your drinks,” he said in a colder voice than before. O’Neill, Teal’c, Jackson and Carter took a mug each and drank at the same time. Jackson removed the mug from his lips and gave the contents a satisfied smile. Carter licked her lips to get any foam, Teal’c raised an eyebrow, and O’Neill almost choked. The tavern owner sighed mentally, wondering what the visitor was going to say this time. “Do you have any alcoholic drinks here?” O’Neill asked as he glanced down at the cider in his mug. “All alcoholic drinks are outlawed by the Elegant and Most Powerful Goddess Trixie’s wishes,” the tavern owner grumbled, before walking away hurriedly. “Of course they are…” O’Neill muttered, as he gave the cider a suspicious glance. It took a couple of hours, but I had reached Trottingham before noon. I spent an hour stocking up on supplies, but my money situation was getting desperate. I needed to earn some more bits, so I looked around town for a job. Fortunately, there was a inn that hosts entertainment every night, but the entertainer booked for the evening had called in sick. I offered my talents and the innkeeper accepted. I had my first show! I spent some time going over my rotine and making sure that the outfit that I had bought in Canterlot was cleaned and ready. Soon, the time came for my appearance on stage, and I bravely stepped from behind the curtain and into the center of the stage. But I was overcumbered with stage fright! I wanted to speak or move, but the inn was full of ponies and they were all looking at me. I managed to pull myself together at the last minute and I started to perform a dazzling illusion. The crowd watched the dancing lights, transfixed as i made them assume several shapes: a pony running, rushing water, and the rising sun. After an hour and a half, I was exhausted from creating the illusions and finished my act. The ponies cheered as I left the stage, and went to the back to meet the innkeeper. He gave me a bag of bits and offered a room for me to sleep for the night. I thanked him and took my pay. I never stopped smiling until I fell asleep in my room, dreaming of crowds cheering my name and Princess Celestia crowning me as the best pony ever. O'Neill woke up from the chair he was in thanks to the shining rays of the sun. Last night, they had eaten their salads/militry rations, and while Teal'c was checking in with the SGC, the rest of SG-1 attempted to mingle with the patrons of the tavern, but stopped when the tavern owner gave them a stern glare. They had all regrouped in the room that they were staying in, which consisted of one single bed, two chairs, and a wooden table. There was a problem concerning who should sleep in the bed. Carter didn't mind where she slept, while O'Neill and Jackson both insisted that she take the bed. Teal'c didn't get involved, as he found a nice spot on the floor and meditated throughout the night. Eventually, O'Neill ordered Carter to have the bed as he and Jackson settled in their chairs. But now O'Neill was up, it was time to wake everyone else in his usual manner. "Good morning, campers!" O'neill called out cheerfully as he mock stretched. jackson blinked several times before he finally got up from the chair, Carter was out of the bed in a flash, geared up and ready to go in seconds, while Teal'c stood up and was ready in a similar amount of time. After everyone was fully awake and geared up, SG-1 went downstairs to claim their free breakfast. 'Please be hash browns, fried bread, beans, grilled tomato and a coffee. Please!' O'Neill thought desperately as he and his team took their seats at the same table from the night before. He was disappointed, however, when breakfast turned out to be a bowl of fruit and nuts for each member of SG-1. Teal'c and Carter ate their meals without a problem, while Jackson started to pick orange lumps outof his bowl. O'Neill simply opened another MRE After breakfast had finished (Teal'c had eaten O'Neill's share), SG-1 walked out of the tavern and into the street. "Alright, we all know what we have to do today, so lets meet back here at lunchtime. Radio if you find anything," O'Neill said to Carter and Jackson, who walked down the street heading east. Teal'c and O'Neill went west and towards the pyramid. O'Neill and Teal'c arrived at the pyramid ten minutes later. They both looked up at the tall structure, before looking forward at the entrance. As they walked towards it, O'Neill noted somewhat bemusedly that the pyramid was giving out 'free tours', as a line of people waited egearly to enter the pyramid. That, and there was a sign at the end of the queue. Below the sign was another that read: 'queues likely'. "No duh..." O'Neill muttered as teal'c took a spot in the queue. Carter and Jackson were exploring the opposite side of the city, which was mostly a residential area. They had stopped and talked to several people, gaining bits of information regarding the goddess' origins, but all they got was 'the Goddess has protected us and led us for as long as I remember'. "This doesn't make any sense. No-one can remeber the origin of this goddess, which is puzzling because usually cultures would preserve the memory of when their god or goddess came to them and forge it into a tale," Jackson thought aloud as he and Carter walked down another residential street. "Maybe we'll have some luck at the library. Several of the people here have suggested it," Carter said. "Right," Jackson said in acknowledgement and started to head back in the direction they came from. "Uh, Daniel? Its the other way," Carter said as she pointed in the direction they were walking in previously. "I'm sure its this way Sam," Jackson insisted as he gestured to his destination. "But I'm sure it was this way," Carter said as she looked around. The realization that they were lost hit them at the same time. O'Neill and Teal'c were still in the queue, determined to get into the pyramid and do a spot of snooping, scooby style. But queues are queues and this particular queue reminded O'Neill of a queue he had stood in for almost twenty minutes at a gas station in DC. Things livened up a little as someone attempted to push in front of Teal'c. As everyone took a step forward simultaniously, like one of those cartoons, a man Jackson's age quickly slipped in between Teal'c and the woman in front of him. This was a mistake. Teal'c tapped the man on the shoulder. The man turned around and said "what?" in an irritable manner. "You have joined the queue at the wrong spot. I suggest you proceed to the back of the queue and wait there," Teal'c said calmly. The man just scoffed. "So? Whatcha gonna do if I don't 'proceed to the back of the queue'?" the man asked as he balled his hands into fists. "I will remove you from this spot using force if you do not move," Teal'c said calmly, but the tensin filling the air and the sense oof incredible danger of the situation made the smart people in the queue to back away nervously. Unfortunately, the man wasn't smart. "Oh yeah? I'd like to see you try!" the man said smugly as he dropped into a fighting stance. He hopped on the balls of his feet, raising his fists to protect his face, before throwing a few punches at Teal'c's chest. The punches did nothing to injure the Jaffa, but they did serve to annoy him further. He grabbed the man by the front of his shirt and threw him to the side, where he went flying through the air for several feet before landing on the stone floor of the square. The man slowly got up, looking at Teal'c with horror before runnjing away. "Nice one, T!" O'Neill commented as the people near them rejoined the queue, except for those in front. The entire queue and half of the square had seen the incident, and the people were looking at Teal'c with a mixture of fear and awe. The people in front of O'neill and Teal'c, parted, allowing them to jump right to the front and enter the pyramid. I apologise for this being a day late, as I have good news and bad news. Good news is that I have a new computer! Bad news is that my new computer doesn't have Microsoft Word so I can't spellcheck my work. This explains the reason why there are more errors tha usual this time, so I ask of you to please tell me if there are any mistakes. I do try my best, but I'm only human, after all. I wish i was a pony... But on a lighter note, my new computer is alot better than my old one, as Minecraft doesn't lag now. So I might start doing Lets Play vidioes of games that I play. I can't start right away, but when I do get it off the ground, you guys will be the first to know. please comment, like and point out any mistakes that you see. Also, the meat in the mystery meatloaf ain't meat...
FourI woke up the next day feeling refreshed. After looking around the room, I collected anything that was mine and went down for breakfast. The delicious smell of cooked food wafted in from the kitchen made me even hungrier, so I took a seat and ordered a portion of hash browns, grilled tomatoes and toast. As I ate the food, it reminded me of my mother's cooking. I miss my parents... But that feeling went away as i finished my breakfast and bid the innkeeper goodbye. I left Trottingham after gathering up some supplies, and set off out towards Las Pegasus once more. After a while, I stopped for lunch and a rest, and to my utter disbelief, discovered that my wagon had been graffitied at the rear! It was the result of foals messing around, and a good scrubbing would clean it right off, but I kept it there, mainly of what they have written. The Great and Powerful Trixie. Jackson and Carter poured through as many books as they could to find any information, but all the books were filled with either stories of Trixie performing impossible feats with her Godly powers, how elegant and powerful she was, and the list of laws she had formed to help everyone live in a fair society. But there was nothing about her arrival or of the planet's past, and there was nothing about a Goa'uld ruling over the planet. "This is pointless," Jackson sighed as he tossed another book onto a pile before opening another. "We should've found something about the planet's past by now," Carter said as she plucked a book from a shelf, glanced at the title, then put it back. "I wonder if Jack and Teal'c are having any luck..." Jackson pondered as he closed the book he was reading and tossed it onto the pile. "And here we have the throne room, where the Elegant and Most Powerful Goddess Trixie holds the daily court to answer the issues of the city and its people. And we're walking!" the tour guide said as she led a small group through the pyramid, with O'Neill and Teal'c hanging back. "You ever get that weird sense of deja vu whenever she says that?" O'Neill asked Teal'c as they followed the tour group. "I do not, O'Neill," was the reply from the stone-faced Jaffa. "Huh, guess its just me..." O'Neill muttered as they walked past a display case containing some kind of purple object. Not long afterwards, the two members of SG-1 came across a hidden door, that someone had foolishly exposed by putting a sign saying 'private' on it. O'Neill rolled his eyes as Teal'c found the switch and opened the door. Making sure no one was watching them, they snuck through and closed it again. They had emerged in a circular chamber, with a familiar pattern in the middle o the room. "Sweet, rings. Let's see where they go," O'Neill said as they searched for a switch. Eventually, they found one, and after a brief moment as they tried to guess the combination of the Goa'uld control panel, they had managed to activate them and were transported up high above the sky. The Elegant and Most Powerful Goddess Ttrixie pretended to listen to the citizen in front of her complain about the new guests. She was starting to regret to allow them to stay in the city, let alone the planet, but she couldn't let them go. She knew that the portal that they obviously came through only led to Equestria, and if they returned and told Princess Celestia... "Thank you my kind subject, but The Elegant and Most Powerful Goddess Trixie has an appointment to keep, but I will continue to listen to your problems another time," Trixie said, and the citizen nodded in response, happy that he had the chance to speak to his Goddess. Trixie rose from her throne and disappeared into a doorway that led to her private chambers at the top of the pyramid. As she entered the room, she closed the door behind her and went over to her bed. It was large, and apparently, it belonged to the previous ruler of this planet. She sighed as memories of her life in Equestria resurfaced. Just thinking about those four and where they'd come from brought up memories of her family, which she would never see again. But Trixie would never go back. She will win the challenge, and Trixie+plansxcheating=victory... Or so she thought. *pop* Hi guys. New chapter. *pop* What am I doing? I'm popping bubble wrap. *pop* It's great fun, and it's also good for relieving stress. *pop* Time for thanks. Thanks to ralfil for pointing me in the direction of a Word substitute. Hopefully the spelling errors and mistakes are less than usual. Thanks to CaptRicoSakara for being awesome and already knowing too much about what's to come. And thanks- *pop* -To everyone that has liked this story so much that they feel like watching me. That sounds creepier than it should be. *pop* Also, I gave myself the go-ahead to write a HiE fic, probably starring me, so any opinions/ideas/suggestions are greatly accepted and framed on my mantlepiece. *pop* Also, I have read Stargate: Equeatria, so stop bugging me about it. Geez... In the meantime, have some bubble wrap to pop. ... Dangit, I ran out of pops...
