Accidentally on Purpose

A bright pink earth pony was bouncing along happily, greeting all the ponies she passed by with a huge grin and wave of a hoof. Today was a good day, today was a Thursday, and Pinkie Pie loved Thursdays. Well, actually, Pinkie Pie loved all days of the week. She loved everything, and everyone. Except party-poopers, but it was okay, if she ever met a party-pooper, she’d just throw them a party to get the poopiness out of them, and then everypony would be happy with sunshine and rainbows. With a hop jump, and a skip, she bounced through the doors of Ponyville’s Public Library.

“Hiya, Twilight!” chirped the pink pony, grinning widely as she entered.

“Rainbow Dash, you bring my fluffkins back to me, right this instant!” screeched a furious Rarity.

The cyan Pegasus was hovering around the ceiling of library, holding Twilight Sparkle in her hooves as the purple unicorn focused on reading and flipping the pages in a very large, leather bound book. On the ground was a lassoed Fluttershy sitting in the corner, tied in a way she couldn’t use her wings. Sitting on Rarity was an orange farmpony in a Stetson, who was also most likely the one who had tied up the pegasus.

“Twilight, “drawled the cowpony, “Can ya read any faster? Rarity is a lot heavier than she looks!” A grunt was heard as the white unicorn tried to buck Applejack off her back.

“Get off me!” she hissed.

“I’m sorry, Applejack, but I can’t seem to find anything in here to explain what’s going on!” said Twilight with an edge of hysteria creeping into her voice.

“Snuggy Bunny?” murmured Fluttershy, using her azure eyes to plead to the Rainbow pony, “Dearest, please untie me…unless you like bondage, I suppose.” she said softly and suggestively.

Pinkie Pie stared on in awe and confusion, all five of her friends were shouting and screaming, well, except for Fluttershy, and even Sweetie Bell and Applebloom were there, looking on at the chaos that ensued, “This is some sort of party?” The pink pony perked up, “YOU GUYS THREW A PARTY WITHOUT ME?!” she squeaked.

“No, Pinkie!” grunted Applejack, now clearing struggling with her unicorn steed, “Fluttershy and Rarity are horribly sick or somethin’, so Rainbow and Ah brought ‘em over here. AppleBloom tagged along with me, and Sweetie Belle eventually passed by after Rarity apparently never went home yesterday. This ain’t no joke! We don’know what’s goin’ on with them, but-”

“THEY’RE IN LOVE WITH ME AND TWILIGHT!” finished Rainbow Dash.

“But I love you guys too!” beamed Pinkie.

Twilight Sparkle nearly facehoofed, “No, Pinkie Pie, not just love, in love.”

“This is better than daytime TV!” whispered Sweetie Belle to the yellow filly beside her.

“What’re ya talkin’ about? Daytime TV sucks!” whispered Appleboom back.

Pinkie pouted, “Oh, okay. So…what’s going on? Are you guys getting married? Are you throwing a bridal shower or something then? I COULD PLAN THAT!” she squealed again, “THERE SHALL BE CAKES!”

“NO!” roared Twilight and Rainbow Dash the same time Fluttershy and Rarity squealed, “YES!”

The pink pony frowned slightly, “I’m getting mixed reactions here…”

At that moment, a young purple dragon tumbled down the stairs. He scrambled to his feet before sliding to the centre of the room, his arm over his forehead in a Rarityesque fashion, “That’s it, I can’t take it anymore!”

“Spike?”

“It was me, I did it all!” he cried, “It’s my fault Rarity and Fluttershy are acting like this!”

Pinkie Pie looked around before casually bucking a conveniently placed gramophone beside her, even though anypony else would swear it wasn’t there a second ago, causing a record scratch. She then flipped a light switch, throwing the library into complete darkness before rushing up onto a bookshelf with a large stage light to shine upon the dragon in the centre of the room.

“What do you mean, Spike?” asked Twilight, her voice soft.

The dragon sighed and looked down at his feet, which were shuffling uncomfortably, “Well, you see…”

Spike tipped the bottle of rainbow colour into his brew, and then stirred it with a Pegasus feather, just as the book dictated. He closed the book with a flutter in his chest, just as Rarity’s fair voice rang in from the main foyer of the library. With a deep breath, he poured the potion into a cup of tea and carried the tray downstairs.

The two Cutie Mark Crusaders listened to the dragon’s guilty confession with their jaws hanging open. They knew what this was, it wasn’t a love potion like Spike had thought, it was the love poison!

Twilight was listening intently and when the dragon finished his confession she stood, “Where is that book?” she demanded.

With his head hung low, Spike trotted off to fetch the recipe book. Sweetie Belle took one glance at her big sister, who was frantically struggling under the weight and muscle of the farm pony, and frowned.

“We should tell them.” she said to Applebloom.

The Apple pony nodded, “Twilight? Me n’ Sweetie Belle also have a confession…”

The unicorn frowned, “What is it, girls?”

“Uh, remember last year? When Big Mac and Miss Cheerilee kinda went overboard with Hearts and Hooves day, and tried to get married?” Sweetie Belle said this with a grimace, there was a CMC promise not to bring up the unfortunate incident again.

Twilight nodded, urging them to continue.

“Well, it was due to a love potion from the book you gave us, like the one Spike was talkin’ about, but it wasn’t actually a love potion, it t’was a love poison, and me Sweetie Belle and Scoots were so worried something horrible would happen ‘cause that’s how the tale about the prince and the princess went and Equestria exploded or somethin’, and we’re sorry!” blurted out Applebloom.

“But we got Scootaloo to hide the book afterwards, we have no idea how Spike got it!” added the unicorn filly.

Pinkie Pie stared at Twilight, who in turn looked to Applejack and Rainbow for support.

“Love poison?”

“That book you gave us, Twilight! It wasn’t fer a love potion at all, it was a love poison. It made Big Mac and Miss Cheerilee so lovey dovey and gross that we were scared Ponyville would fall into chaos like the Prince and the Princess of the book did, after they neglected their royal duties!”

Sweetie Belle nodded, “We fixed it in the end though, we had to keep them from looking into each other’s eyes for a whole hour, but we did it!”

At this point, Spike re-entered the room with a large brown book with golden letters spelling out ‘Brews, Remedies and Stews’. “Here it is!” With a thump, he dropped it onto the table, where Rainbow Dash flew over and placed Twilight back onto the ground. Twilight read the book and its chapters on the love poison quickly, her frown growing as she did so.

“Thank you for telling me, girls, but the solution that worked for Big Mac and Cheerilee was for when both ponies drank the love poison. In our situation, only Rarity drank it.”

“What about Fluttershy?” asked Applejack. Rarity, however, was finally been able to buck the earth pony off of her back with a large grunt.

With a yelp she flew into the air, landing on the other side of the room, “She didn’t drink it, did she?” asked the farmer from the floor, shaking her head from the pain.

Almost immediately the unicorn rushed over to Twilight and cuddled up to her, planting a kiss onto her cheek, “I missed you, schmoopykins!”

Rainbow Dash frowned and turned to Twilight, who also had a worried expression on her face, “Well, I remember her licking her lips when she woke up…and the tea was spilt on her.”

Spike felt his heart drop; he had accidentally poisoned Fluttershy too, hadn’t he?

Twilight let out an exasperated groan, “Okay, so both Fluttershy and Rarity are under the poison’s effects, but the question is how to fix it!”

“Keep ‘em away from you for an hour?” suggested Sweetie Belle.

Applebloom shook her head, “Weren’t you listening? That’s only when both ponies drink it.”

Applejack took the book from Twilight and began flipping through the pages. Her eyes scanned the writing and finally her hues lit up brightly, “Ah got it!”

She pointed an orange hoof to the centre of the page and began reading, “Says righ’ here that if only one pony is under its effects and is currently in love with another, then the cure is…for the not affected pony to... show love righ’ back?”

Pinkie Pie thought of bucking the gramophone again, but decided against it. Instead, the pink pony placed the needle gently on the record, deciding to play'fitting music' instead.

The farmer pony however took no notice, and merely glared pointedly at Fluttershy, “See? Ah can to read.” She said with a huff.

Rainbow Dash snatched the book away, reading its words for herself, “Love them back?! B-but, but, but…I don’t!”

Twilight herself was looking distraught, “I know, Rainbow, I know. But…we’ve got to grin and bear it. For the sake of our friends!”

The cyan Pegasus let out an upset groan, “Fine, fine. How did Spike even get that book anyways?” She muttered.

Spike shrugged, “It belonged under B, but I found it under E while I was reshelving.”

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle deadpanned, that was the last time they ever let Scootaloo dispose of anything.