Accidentally on Purpose

Pinkie Pie and Applejack had been staring at the wooden door in front of them for the past twenty minutes, not exactly sure what they should be doing. Perhaps they should knock? But what if Twilight refused to open it for them? Maybe they should just kick it in? Oh, but what if Twilight was going open it and then they broke her door for no good reason?

“HELP ME! DEAR CELESTIA, HELP ME!” came the high pitched shriek from inside the room.

“Rarity!” shouted both Pinkie and Applejack at the same time. It was decided then. Applejack bucked the door open with all her might, causing it the fly off its hinges into the room. The two earth ponies galloped inside to find a trembling Rarity, cowering before Twilight Sparkle who had a large pointer stick in her telekinetic grasp.

“No, Rarity! The answer is X=7 because when you move it over to the other side, you have to change the sign!” she groaned, her tone frustrated.

“No more!” groaned the fashionista, “No more math!”

Twilight’s face dropped, “B-but, math is fun!”

“No it’s not!” blurted out Pinkie Pie, who then stuck both hooves into her mouth. She mumbled what sounded like an apology before bouncing over toward the mentally spent Rarity.

“What she’s tryin’ to say, sugarcube, is that…” Applejack searched for the right words, “That…me n’ Pinkie will help with the whole ‘having fun’ thing.”

The party pony nodded, taking her hooves out of her mouth, “You can’t exactly show somepony love if you’re threatening them with math and a pointer stick! Especially math!” Pinkie stuck out her tongue in disgust.

“Don’t worry, my dear darling Sparkle Warkle,” said Rarity, putting a hoof around the other unicorn, “I still love you.” The  white unicorn was trembling slightly despite herself, there had been so many numbers. So many formulas...so many rules, and so many exceptions to the rules! Rarity felt herself getting light headed and nauseous all over again.

“I was afraid you’d say that.” grumbled Twilight, “So, Pinkie, AJ, what’d you have in mind?”

Pinkie Pie grinned widely as she reached behind her back and pulled out a large oven and baking supplies, “CUPCAKE BAKING CONTEST, CUPCAKE BAKING CONTEST!” Her baby blue eyes were practically sparkling in anticipation.

“Where did you get that?” muttered Applejack.

The pink pony smiled and patted her friend on the head, “Internet.”

Applejack could only stare at her, “Wha? I meant, how did you get that?”

“FedEx.” Came the simple response, “Now then, time make cupcakes!” she sang.

“It’s Pinkie.” was all Twilight could say to her farmer friend before settling down beside her own pile of baking supplies.

“Rules are…the best tasting cupcakes win! Readysetgo!” chirped Pinkie, who quickly went into pouring flour into her bowl.

The other ponies shrugged and began to bake their own cupcakes.

“Filles and gentlecolts!” announced Pinkie, suddenly with a microphone, “Today we have four lovely young mares, off on their quest to create the greatest cupcakes Equestria has ever seen! Right here before me, I have Applejack of Sweet Apple Acres. So, tell me, Miss Applejack, just what kind of cupcakes are you creating?”

“Uhm, apple ones Ah suppose.” replied the farmer, who was stirring her flour with a whisk, sticking her tongue out in concentration as she did so.

“Any special ingredients?”  asked announcer Pinkie, “Or perhaps you’re confident in winning due to the fact that you’ve already sabotaged the other contestants!” she accused, "Added any chilli sauce to Rarity's cupcakes lately?!"

“What? No! That’s dishonest! We Apples work hard and do things the righ' way!” retorted Applejack.

“I’m watching you, bub.” grumbled announcer Pinkie, her eyes narrowed at the farmpony.

With a hop and a skip, announcer Pinkie Pie stuck her microphone into Rarity’s face, “And who might you be, fine miss?”

“Rarity?” half asked the unicorn, unsure what she was supposed to reply with.

“Ah, Miss Rarity Belle! So, what are you making today?”

“Ooo, I’m so glad you asked, I’m making these lovely dark chocolate cupcakes for my precious Sparkly Pie!” she squealed, “I just know she’ll love them.”

Announcer Pinkie nodded, “Hmm, yes, you might say…SHE’LL LOVE THEM TO DEATH, EH?”

Rarity frowned, “Excusez-moi?”

“The jig is up, Miss Rarity, If that is your real name! We all know you’ve been planning to assassinate the Princess, and the best way to do that is to slowly pick off her loyal subjects! One.By.One.”  Pinkie inched closer to Rarity with each word, destroying all semblance of the term ‘personal space’.

“Are you feeling okay, Pinkie?” asked the unicorn, shrinking away from the pony’s intense gaze.

“BETTER THAN OKAY! I’M ON TO YOU, ‘RARITY’.” With a cartwheel, announcer Pinkie moved from Rarity’s booth to Pinkie Pie’s.

“So, who are you?” asked announcer Pinkie.

“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie from Ponyville and I just want to say it’s such an honour to be here! Hi mom! Hi dad! Hi Gummy!” The pink pony waved frantically to the camera, where camerapony Pinkie was filming.

Announcer Pinkie nodded slowly, “That’s nic-”

“Oh! Also, Hi Rainbow Dash, Hi Fluttershy! Hi Granny Pie and Big Mac, I’m on TV! And I want to give shout out to my sisters, HI GIRLS!”

“Moving on no-”

“OH WAIT! I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THE PRINCESSES! Hi Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna, oh and Lyra, and Bon Bon, and I can’t forget Derpy Hooves! OH, and-”

“Kid, can we get this moving?” growled Announcer Pinkie.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Baker Pinkie smiled sheepishly.

“So, what are you making today?”

Baker Pinkie thought for a moment, as she threw a few bits of candy into her mixture, wrappers and all, “CUPCAKES! I even have a song! Wanna hear it?”

“Not re-” Announcer Pinkie was cut off by a nice little tune playing the background. Soundpony Pinkie was starting up Baker Pinkie’s requested track.

Baker Pinkie began to bounce up and down with the rhythm, “All you need is a cup of flour, add it to the mix! Now just add a little something sweet not sour, a bit of salt just a pinch!”

Announcer Pinkie facehoofed, “This broad’s crazy!” She whispered to stage director Pinkie, who only nodded in agreement.

Slowly but surely, announcer Pinkie tip toed away from the pink baker and appeared next to Twilight Sparkle, who had just taken her batch of cupcakes out of the oven and was beginning to decorate it.

“And who have we here?” she asked the unicorn.

“Pinkie…”

“I’m Pinkie, bub, I’m asking who you are!”

“Pinkie Pie, your-”

Baker Pinkie looked over from her booth, “I’m Pinkie Pie!”

Twilight rolled her eyes, “Pinkie, your cupcakes are burning!” In the booth beside her, a deep smoke was slowly rising into the air, followed by a terrible burning smell and small flames.

“Oh sugarcubes.” Pinkie Pie dropped the microphone and dashed to the oven, trying to fan it out with an apron.

Just then the doors of the library bursted open, and firefighter Pinkie, who was carrying a large hose, barged in and opened a powerful jet of whipped cream onto the oven, which also splashed the rest of the bakers. The small fire fizzled out from the cream, and firefighter Pinkie tipped her helmet, “No need to thank me, fillies, all in a day’s work.” Just as quickly as she came, firefighter Pinkie and her whipped cream hose disappeared out of the library doors once more.

Pinkie Pie poked her head out of the sea of whipped cream and licked her face clean, “Mmm! Delicious!”

Applejack could only stare at the mess that was created by her pink friend. She wanted to feel angry that she was covered in whipped cream, but instead, she just laughed. The farmer collapsed to the floor, rolling around in whipped cream and laughing. Rarity stifled a giggle at the sight before also bursting out into laughter, her eyes starting to water. Pinkie Pie was already grabbing her sides, crying from the side-splitting pain of her own giggles. At last, Twilight Sparkle couldn’t help but crack a grin, which evolved into laughter of her own.

After nearly ten minutes of continuous laughter and slipping in whipped cream, Pinkie Pie sat up and wiped away a tear. She sighed for a moment before jumping to her hooves, “OOO! WHO WANTS CUPCAKES?!”

With a clamor of excitement, the pink pony grabbed the decorated cupcakes off their respective booths and set them in the middle of her and her three friends. As for her own burnt cupcakes, she smothered with whipped cream and devoured them in a single bite. Her friends didn’t mind.

Rarity took Applejack’s cupcake, Twilight took Rarity’s, and Applejack took twilight’s. With a cheer and a slight squish as the three touched them together, the three friends ate their cupcakes with another laugh.

“I’m Pinkie, and it has been a beautiful day.” said announcer Pinkie, “The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and cupcakes have been eaten. The winner was…every baker that wasn’t Pinkie Pie, since she was the only one that burnt her cupcakes!”

“Aw, c’mon!” shouted Baker Pinkie in the background.

“This has been this week’s Steel Baker Equestria! Stay tuned for next time!”

"And, we're out!" announced Camerapony Pinkie.

"I can never understand how she does that..." whispered Twilight to Applejack. The farmer could only shrug in response.

"That's it folks!" declared Stage Manager Pinkie. All around, stage hand Pinkies and crew began packing up their set. One by one they cleared out of the library, leaving the four friends alone.

Applejack trotted up to her pink friend and handed her a cupcake, “Better luck next time, sugarcube.”

The party pony took it and with a smile, “Thanks, AJ!

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news girls, but it’s time to clean up.” said Twilight, pointing to the mass amount of whipped cream still over the floors.

Rarity’s horn glowed, “Alright then, that’s just what we’ll do.” she said with a determined glint in her eye. The others shared a knowing glance. Applejack smirked and grabbed a mop from the corner of the room with her teeth, followed by Pinkie Pie pulling out some spray and a piece of cloth, seemingly out of thin air. Twilight herself levitated a vacuum cleaner.

Four sets of eyes narrowed in determination, horribly intimidating the ocean of inanimate whipped cream, “It’s time to take out the trash.” Grinned Pinkie Pie.