Farmhands VS. Musical Mares
"Welcome mares and stallions to tonight's spectacular showdown! I'm your commentator Vince McHam alongside longtime wrestling commentator Jim Horse. Jim, how's it going?"
"Pretty good, Ham. Got a great show going on tonight, that's for sure. We're gonna see the bucking apple pickers Applejack and Big Mac in the ring tonight alongside this town's most notable musicians Octavia and DJ-PON3. Looking like a good match-up."
"I dunno, Jim. I'm thinking that these prissy little musicians won't be able to take it from the pair of siblings who buck trees for a living. I give them one round in the ring before the ref calls it."
"And that's why people know me as an expert on this stuff, Ham, cause you would be dead wrong to think that. Octavia carries with her a massive cello, giving her upper-body strength. Depending on how things go,she might also use that as a weapon. DJ also has skill when it comes to taking a beating. All that head bobbing she's been doing over the past several years of being a DJ has built up her neck and back muscles so much that she can pull an entire house on wheels. That type of exercise has been known to break ponies with the amount of pain it causes and she does it all the time!"
"Jim, I'm pretty sure you just made half of that up."
"Not at all, Ham. And look! Here they come now! First up are Big Mac and Applejack! These two have been on our watchlist for a while now. Their experiences from not only working in the field but saving the entire kingdom several times has given them quite the reputation."
"And looking over on the opposite side are our hometown celebrities, Octavia and DJ-PON3! These two have been known for playing venues all across Equestria and are now throwing themselves into the ring in order to create a new song called PAIN! The four are entering the ring now. And now let's listen to the ref."
"Tonight I expect to see a clean fight. No spitting, no chairs, just follow what's right."
"Sorry Zecora, but as the Element of Honesty, I'm gonna have to tell ya that this'll be anything but clean. Right, Big Mac?"
"Eeyup."
"My coat may be white, but I'm not gonna play clean either! Octy, bring out the bass!"
"And hear we see Octavia bringing out her bass! This is sure to be a musical of pain! Don't you agree, Ham?"
"I sure do, Jim. I must admit that seeing a bass be used in such a way seems a bit disappointing. Such a lovely mahogany finish that really brings out the fine craftsmanship of the instrument. It's gonna lose that finish with the bloodbath going on."
"Well Ham, if she had it done properly lately the blood will just wash right off. A good finish won't come off that easily. I recently had my table finished and it looks lovely."
"Really. See, I think my problem is not putting enough on my furniture. Jim, you know a guy I could get to do it?"
"Yeah. I'll get him right now. HEY! BIG MAC! YOU GOT A MINUTE?"
"Nope."
"COME ON! YOU'VE ALREADY GOT THEM BOTH IN A HEADLOCK! THEY'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE! I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD HELP HAM HERE WITH SOME FINISHING FOR HIS FURNITURE! YOU HAVE AN OPENING THIS WEEK?!"
"Eeyup."
"OKAY! ALSO, LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!"
"What?"
"Oof! Looks like Octavia broke out of the hold and did a Cutter to Big Mac. I hope that doesn't affect his finishing skills, both inside and outside of the ring."
"Don't worry, Ham. He's good at what he does. And it looks like what he does is also wrestling since he's now recovered and has DJ in a pincer attack with Applejack. They both get on opposite sides of the ring and are running towards each other and IT'S A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! THEY MANAGED TO GET THE TWO IN A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!"
"Jim, speaking of clotheslines, is it supposed to rain today, cause I have stuff still drying outside."
"I heard that it might do so later on tomorrow but you should be safe for now. I usually bring stuff in at night anyway so the dew doesn't get the clothes during the night."
"That's good thinking, Jim. I'll be sure to do that tonight when I get home. I'm guessing Applejack will be resting her wounds when she gets home herself after Octavia did that Choke Slam into her though."
"Ham, Big Mac does NOT look happy about what they just did to his sis and looks to be rearing for his specialty. ARE YOU READY CROWD?!"
"YEAH!"
"WHAT'S IT CALLED?!"
"THE ORCHARD BREAKER!!!"
"Jim it looks like Big Mac's rearing up to do his special right here and now. Octavia and DJ are looking to get out of the way and WHAT'S THIS! APPLEJACK'S BACK UP AND HAS JUST GRABBED DJ AND THROWN HER INTO OCTAVIA! NOW SOMEPONY'S THROWN ROPE INTO THE RING AND APPLEJACK'S USING IT AS A LASSO AROUND THOSE TWO! THEY AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE!"
"Ham, it looks like it's here. Big Mac's doing his rush, charging, flipping and BOTH HOOVES ARE OFF! I REPEAT: BOTH HOOVES! THEY ARE FLYING OUT OF THIS RING!"
"Jim I literally cannot think of any match involving the Orchard Breaker that did not involve the opponent flying out of the ring. And with that it seems that this match is over! Big Mac and Applejack have won the round!"
"Well mares and stallions, it's been a wonderful match. I've been your host, Vince McHam alongside Jim Horse and this has been..."
"PONYVILLE! WRESTLING!"
