Worse Stories For Worse People

It was a beautiful, sunny day in Ponyville. Rainbow Dash had finished her work for the day and she rushed to meet her friend, the timid Fluttershy. She was listening to the new album that her capitalist mother brought from the local Little W, on her iPod that her capitalist father, who is CEO at Ihatepoorponies Inc bought. The album was 21st Century Breakdown, by her favourite band, Green Day. She enjoyed her Pop-Punk quite a lot. Fluttershy didn't like Pop-Punk. Come to think of it, Rainbow Dash didn't know what she liked.

"She probably likes stupid classical music" Rainbow Dash thought as she flew her way down the street to her friend's house. Fluttershy was expecting her, and Rainbow knew that she was running a bit late, as per usual. She slowed to a stop right at her friend's doormat, and raised her hoof to knock on the door. The door opened before she could.

"Hello Rainbow! I'm so happy to see you!" Fluttershy squeaked enthusiastically.

"WHAT?!" Rainbow Dash yelled back, soon realizing she was still listening to her Pop-Punk. She turned the music off, and locked her iPod again.

"Sorry, 'shy, I forgot about my iPod." Rainbow apologized before stepping inside.

"It's alright, Rainbow. Would you like a drink?" Fluttershy responded, walking into her kitchen.

"Uh, a glass of water would do, thanks." Rainbow sat on the couch in Fluttershy's living room. It was well worn, as Rainbow would often visit Fluttershy. They had been best friends for a long time. Still, she didn't know what kind of music Fluttershy enjoyed. Maybe Fluttershy would enjoy the light-hearted, sappy, romantic, pop-punk music that I like, Rainbow Dash mused as Fluttershy walked into the room, holding two glasses of water.

"So, what were you listening to when you arrived, Dashie?" Fluttershy asked.

"Oh, I was just listening to 'East Jesus Nowhere' by Green Day. It's a really good song." Rainbow Dash replied.

Fluttershy twitched slightly when Rainbow Dash said this.

"That reminds me," Rainbow Dash continued, "What kind of music do you listen to? I've known you for so long, and I have NO idea what music you like."

"Oh... um..." Fluttershy muttered "It isn't very popular, I don't think you'd know much about it."

"C'mon 'shy," Dash encouraged her friend "I really wanna know."

"Oh well, uh..." Fluttershy continued "I enjoy all sorts of punk and metal, like Swans, Big Black, Shellac, I Spy, Slayer, Burzum, Rapeman, Metallica, Earth, Minor Threat, Swallowing Shit, Morbid Angel, At The Gates, Fugazi, and Propagandhi."

The last few bands she named stuck with Rainbow.

"Propagandhi? More like Poopagandhi! Ha! What a stupid name!"

"Oh no..." Fluttershy said.

"Fugazi is an even dumber name! Hahaha!" Rainbow Dash was on the floor, laughing so hard, she almost choked, “What kind of a name is Burzum? Haha!” she continued, “More like At the GAYS! Hahaha!”

"Oh my Celestia, Rainbow," Fluttershy was aghast "You've really fucked up this time!"

Rainbow was shocked by what Fluttershy had said. She had never heard Fluttershy swear.

"Woah, what do you mean?" she questioned.

"Rainbow, you must take back what you said!" Fluttershy urged her friend.

"Or else what? Am I 'cursed'? Ha!" Rainbow Dash continued mocking her friend.

"Just you wait, Rainbow." Fluttershy whimpered, knowing her friend was far beyond help.

"Yeah, whatever," Rainbow gulped down the rest of her water, "Anyway, I gotta fly. See ya, Flutters!"

As Rainbow Dash walked out the door, Fluttershy broke down crying, knowing that her friend would never be the same. She was about to experience a true progressive thrashing.

The thunder boomed outside as the rain pitter-pattered on the window of Rainbow Dash's massive house, on her father's massive 100 acre property. After her capitalist dad tucked her in to her $20,000 king-sized bed with a satin duvet, he clapped his hooves together and the lights were quickly put out. Rainbow Dash stared at the walls, thinking about what Fluttershy had said. What was going to happen to her? Rainbow Dash, for the first time in her life, was actually worried. She shrugged it off as horsefeathers, and closed her eyes.

She heard a thump. She opened her eyes and looked around.

Nothing.

She heard a quiet hum, as if a song was playing at low volume

She saw shadows cast on the walls. Her heart was pounding in her chest.

The song started playing at full volume as the lights flickered on.

She saw two terrifying figures:

She screamed until her throat bled.

The curly haired man said, in his perfect grindcore voice, "Do you know who the fuck we are?!"

Rainbow Dash's face was a paler shade of cyan than usual. She answer with a weak and timid "N-n-noo..."

The curly haired man yelled, "I am Todd The Rod from Propagandhi, I Spy, and Swallowing Shit!"

The bald man said, "I'm Ian MacKaye, from Fugazi and Minor Threat."

Rainbow Dash cried. She was scared. A wet patch grew around her crotch.

"P-p-lease...d-d-d-on't...hurt me..." she whimpered pathetically "I-I take...it b-b-back..."

"Hahaha you pee'd yourself!" The Rod laughed. Ian looked on, amused by the pathetic pegasus.

Tears rolled down Rainbow Dash's cheeks. The Rod picked up her physical copy of 21st Century Breakdown and threw it on the ground with a force rivaled only by the Big Bang. The plastic case and whatever was inside of it was totally beyond saving. Ian pissed on her All Time Low album collection, as The Rod smashed his bass guitar into the remains of her Green Day album. She began to remember what her capitalist right-wing dad told her...

"Kill poor people."

No wait, not that.

"I hate those dumbass bleeding heart left-wing morons."

Not that either, dammit!

"Be brave, Rainbow, you're a big girl now."

Ahh, that's better

She mustered up enough courage to finally say...

"Uh...c-c-can you p-please...leave me alone?"

The Rod and Ian stared at her. Rainbow knew, for certain, that she was now absolutely, positively, utterly, progressively, hardcore fucked.

"Are you fucking serious?" they both asked in unison.

"Pl..ease, I'm-m sor-r-ry..." she cried out again.

"Shhhhhh...no tears," The Rod whispered into Dash's ear, "Only dreams now."

Rainbow seized up as she felt a hand touch her slit. She started crying harder. She knew what was going to happen to her. An hour ago, she was eating her favourite meal; Dead Baby Cow, otherwise known as veal, as if to disguise the real horror of what this capitalist family was eating, with a side of dead baby sheep, otherwise known as lamb, that was killed inhumanely, and were still barely alive when the knives cut them apart. Not twenty minutes ago, she was talking to her capitalist father about how Fluttershy has terrible taste in music, and how she listened to "stupid bleeding hearts in poopagandhi" and "angry homosexuals in fugazpee". Her father rubbed her rainbow mane and said something about how he was proud of her bigoted opinions that she had. Then, after Rainbow's father shot a poor, homeless pony with his new $2,000 rifle from his massive selection of 500 guns, he took her to bed and tucked his little brainwashed mindless filly in.

"Bite the pillow, woman," The Rod yelled, "I'm going in DRY!"

The Rod grunted as he pounded his rattan cane into Dash's tight butthole. She screamed in pain. The Rod soon found himself grindcoring against Rainbow Dash's sweet virgin capitalist asshole, which tightly held his rod inside it. Rainbow Dash begged for mercy, but The Rod was having none of that. He was just doing his job.

Rainbow Dash's entire life flashed before her eyes. From the moment she was born, she had lived a right-wing lifestyle, listening to what her parents said was 'ok' to listen to. Listening to her parents. Believing, in this bullshit system. She was seeing the light.

The Rod was still rubbing his rod inside the mare. Rainbow Dash started to enjoy the sexual experience. The Rod let out a fart that would make his bandmate The Jord jealous. Rainbow Dash sniffed in the beautiful stench. She wished she could fart right now. She liked farting.

The Rod was close. Dashie could tell. The Rod started yelling names like "Sacrifice!", "Cro-Mags!", "Corrosion of Conformity!", and "Millions of Dead Cops!". She felt The Rod blow his thrashload into her anal cavity. It was boiling hot, and she had burns around her asshole.

The Rod asked his friend, Ian, a question.

"Ian, why didn't you join in?"

"Jokes on you," Ian started "I still masturbated."

And all three of them laughed.

Rainbow Dash was a good little anarchist now. She would sit around and listen to Black Flag and Propagandhi records with Fluttershy, when she wasn't busy telling her parents they were fucking stupid or denouncing the capitalist lifestyle. Strangely enough, Fluttershy also experienced the progressive thrash experience from Ian and The Rod. Fluttershy and Rainbow shared their wonderful experiences together, and laughed. Rainbow Dash was a better pony now. She donated to the poor, and became a political activist for anarchist and left-wing causes, like a good, young, concerned citizen, who questions the idiots in authority.

And to this day, Rainbow Dash prays to The Rod every night, hoping for a good anal thrashing.

Sometimes, she gets it.