⇩ Please Downvote! ⇩

by Super Trampoline

Rating: everyone
Tags: Crossover, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, My Little Pony: A New Generation, Other, Starlight Glimmer, Romance, Self Insert, Random
Length: 3569

My OC, Super Trampoline, is dating all of the Elements of Harmony plus the princesses plus the major antagonists plus the minor antagonists too! That's a lot of work! Also, he's obviously the seventh element. Read on for his many amazing adventures!

Full title: T̶h̶e̶ ̶L̶o̶n̶g̶ ̶L̶o̶s̶t̶ 7̶t̶h̶ ̶E̶l̶e̶m̶e̶n̶t S̶u̶p̶e̶r̶ ̶T̶r̶a̶m̶p̶o̶l̶i̶n̶e̶:̶ ̶P̶r̶o̶f̶e̶s̶s̶i̶o̶n̶a̶l̶ ̶W̶a̶i̶f̶u̶ ̶S̶t̶e̶a̶l̶e̶r̶ T̶h̶e̶ ̶B̶e̶s̶t̶ ̶S̶t̶o̶r̶y̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶F̶i̶m̶f̶i̶c̶t̶i̶o̶n. F̶e̶a̶t̶u̶r̶e̶ ̶B̶o̶x̶ ̶H̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶I̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶e̶ Please ⇩vote!

My OC, Super Trampoline, is dating all of the Elements of Harmony plus the Princessesses plus the major antagonists plus the minor antagonists too plus Flash Sentry! That's a lot of work! Also, he's obviously the seventh element. Read on for his many amazing adventures in Equestria! This will be tagged slice of life though because it's mostly slice of life except when it's not.

I WANT TO MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR FOR ALL THE HATERS: MY OC IS NOT A "MARY SUE" BECAUSE HE IS NOT AN ALICORN!
Most of the time at least

Also, he's dating Applejack.

Cover art by me.

NOTE: The mods decided they had had enough of the chicanery, and unpublished this. I'm reuploading it a few chapters at a time, with all the meta and simply too-crackficky stuff cordoned off in little boxes.

Hey, at least it's not another Soldier in Equestria story.

Other Story Titles:
Far and Away the 15,906 Greatest Words of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction to Ever Grace This Fair Site
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Published 2015-05-27 18:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2024-06-02 07:21:58 UTC

Chapter 1: Applejack and the Large Number of Apples

It was a bright sunny day in Equestria, or at least the part where Ponyville is situated, as days in Equestria are wont to be, except when they aren't, which is a non-trivial amount of time. Birds were singing and stuff. As for myself, the bat pony named Super Trampoline, I was relaxing near the Ponyville Lake (the one that shows up once or twice a season, not to be confused with that reservoir that only appears in the Mysterious Mare Do Well. That episode sucked, so obviously it's not cannon.), tanning my leathery wings and solving Sudoku puzzles. I'm very good at Sudoku. It's one of my many talents, you see.

Suddenly, Applejack Apple galloped over to me. "Super Trampoline, my amazing coltfriend and all around upright and outstanding stallion, I need your help!"

A friend in need is a friend indeed, especially when she gives you smooches. "Well Applejack," I said, sure to start a new line of dialogue in a new paragraph, because I'm good at that stuff and definitely not an amateur hack that gets tripped up by spelling and grammar errors like most of those other wannabes who seem to think that they're dating my fillyfriends, "Whatever seems to be the matter?"

Applejack skidded to a halt, panting. Applejack is very athletic and well toned and has a nice butt, which I was certainly not staring at, so the fact that she was panting must have meant she had galloped here very quickly, or over a long distance, or some combination of the two. Another one of my talents is deductive reasoning. Anyway, Applejack replied, "Super, my love, I planted too many apples. I don't know what to do with them all!"

I love Applejack very much. She rarely beats around the bush. She gives it to you straight. You could say she's honest. Go on, say it. I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to, but I personally enjoy saying "Applejack is honest." So if she said that she planted too many apples, I assumed she meant it. Except I suspect she actually meant apple trees. Planting the fruits themselves, well, I mean, I guess I suppose what with the seeds inside that that might eventually sprout new trees, but I'm not really sure if the seeds need to be freed from the apple first. I may have many talents, but agriculture is not one of them. Fortunately I have a fillyfriend who is an excellent farmer!

So I asked Applejack, "So are you telling me your problem is that you have more apples than you can harvest and sell?"

"'Fraid so, Sugarcube," she said in her rustically charming way. "You're smart Super. That's why I love you. Well, one of the reasons." She blushed a little, and it was cute. "What do you think I should do with all these apples?"

One of my other talents is being generous. Not as generous as Rarity--another beau of mine, of course. I'm not a mary sue. But nonetheless I am pretty generous and so I like to help less fortunate ponies. I knew there was currently a famine and a drought going on in Saddle Arabia far far away. I knew this because I read the newspaper every day. Reading is another one of my talents. Mind you, most ponies can read, even blind ones, so it's not a very special talent. So I thought to myself, you know, I bet they would appreciate some apples out there. So I told Applejack, "Sweetheart, I think that since your farm is already very profitable since apparently you have a monopoly or something on selling apples or something I don't really know though I probably should look at your books sometime, why not donate those extra apples to poor starving foals in Saddle Arabia?"

"That's a great idea, Super!" she said, hugging me. She was really sweaty and stank a lot, but I didn't mind. In fact, the smell of hard work is quite pleasant. "But," she added, "how will we keep them from spoiling? And how will we transport them?"

These were valid concerns. I thought for a moment. "Well, Twilight Sparkle could probably work up a refrigeration spell. And, as for transportation, well, we have this excellent socialized public transport extending throughout our country called a railroad. Don't you use that for shipping apples already? And when the apples reach the coast, we can hire a small armada of zeppelins or something. It will be great positive publicity." Twilight Sparkle, by the way, is another one of my fillyfriends. Thanks to them dating me, she and Applejack have become even closer friends.

So with my toned batpony muscles and the hired help of a migrant worker (Trixie, who I'm also dating, but our relationship is long distance since she travels a lot.), we harvested all the extra apples and sent them to Saddle Arabia, so that they can be secretly sick of apples but too polite to complain about it just like I am.

Author's Note

Chapter 3: Super Trampoline and the Idiosyncrasies of Prench horn

Author's Note:
In case you haven't noticed during my two years here on this site, my cutie mark is a Prench horn. If you need a refresher course on what I look like, you can CLICK HERE. I understand that in the human world, it's called a French horn, which is weird because it's mostly German is design.

Here in the pony (and other creatures) world, it's called a Prench horn, as if from Prance, except it's really Germane in design. It's a very difficult instrument to play, especially with hooves, which describes most instruments to be honest. Our valve combinations are a bit different than yours, but it's still a lovely creature with over four octaves of range, and I'm really glad I chose to play it. I got my cutie mark when I was sick of being one a dozen flautists at my school and wanted to stand out. I was told the horn is really hard and I wanted a challenge, and well, here I am today, still playing it and still in love with music.*

But seriously, it's like all our instruments were designed with fingers in mind. Huh. Anyway, that's a very brief story about my Prench horn cutie mark. See, these chapters won't all be about my fillyfriends.

Author's Note

*True story

My mark doesn't look exactly like this, but it's the closest I can find on earth.

Chapter 4: Oh How the Mighty Have Fallen: A Hydra Fights Corruption Charges as a Batpony Fights Mary Sue Charges

As everypony knows, hydras are dangerous creatures. Except they aren't. Well, some of the time they are, but most of the time they just want to play tag, but their quite vocal way of going about it scares off a lot of ponies. One of the over-arching plot lines of this most excellent story you are now reading will be the integration of hydras into Equestrian society, and the stripping of prejudices from the minds of Equestrian populace.

Today a hydra was sitting in court, accused of stealing money. He also washed the money, so he received the additional charge of money laundering. That's a joke. You're supposed to laugh at it. See, he had 400 bits on his person, and since Equestrian law is speciecist, hydras aren't supposed to even have our coinage. How messed up is that. So it was assumed that he had stolen the bits. It looked like he was going to be sentenced to having another 50 kilometers added to his exile radius, when I heroically flew threw a window, shattering it and getting glass everywhere and getting some cuts, one of which eventually got infected, which is my own darn fault, but that's another story for another day.

Anyway, I landed all dramatically on the courtroom floor, dripping with glass shards and blood, and yelled, "I gave this hydra the money!" He was very grateful. Oh, his name is Florgishmontumeridaph, by the way. Giving him a name helps personify him. Anyway, I stood there and told the courtroom that I had given him 400 bits to bruise me. I was going to have him break a leg or something, but I'm a wimp and didn't really want to do that. I pulled a razor from my bag of holding, and shaved off a small patch of fur on the side of my barrel near my wing, revealing a purplish bruise. The crowd gasped. "Why would you do this?!" yelled one mare. "What a twist!" yelled :twistnerd:.

"Simple," I said. "I wanted to make it look like I lost a fight with a hydra. Would a Mary Sue or Gary Stew ever lose a fight with a hydra? Hmmmm? The evidence is ample, I am neither of those, but a simple everyday pony who happens to be dating a lot of beautiful and intelligent mares. Release this hydra, for he has done nothing wrong. It is I who should be punished."

The courtroom erupted in pandemonium and stuff. The hydra stomped off through the hole in the wall it had created upon entering the room. I was sentenced to 10 hours of community service and a 200 bit fine for breaking the window. All in all, it was a good day.

Author's Note

A particularly enthusiastic game of tag

Chapter 6: It Ain't Easy Being Sleazy

This one time, the Flim Flam Brothers came into town. Actually, it was like the third time. You'd think they'd get the hint to stop coming here. Actually, like the fourth time, if you count the comics, which I'm referencing right now because I'm aware of my reality as a bad OC in a fictional universe. Anyway, you'd think ponies would get a clue about their ways, but ponies can be pretty dumb some times.

Luckily, my girlfriend Twilight isn't dumb. She's super duper smart. "Twilight," I said as she made me a sandwich in her Crystal Castle ~~playset~~, them con artists are at it again. Don't we have some sort of deterrence to stop them from coming here ever couple seasons? I was talking about seasons of weather, not of an animated cartoon. I would never break the fourth wall. So uncouth.

Anyway, Twilight responded, "Well, one, as long as ponies in Ponyville continue to be afflicted with what seems to be either general stupidity, short term memory loss, or a combination of both, I suspect they will continue to visit semifrequently."

"And two?" I prodded.

"Oh, your sandwich is ready, hon."

"Why thank you mon petit ver," I replied. I also speak Prench, but I'm not a Mary Sue or anything because I'm honestly not that good at it.

"Anyways, what should we do about it?" I continued.

"Honestly, I feel like it's kind of a buyers beware thing at this point. As long as they aren't actually selling dangerous products..."

I raised my green and blue eyebrows. "Granny Smith almost fell to her death."

"Hmmm, yeah, I guess. What are they hawking this time?"

"Something about subscriptions to a new telegraph service."

"Sounds useful," she replied with a speech tag so that who was talking wouldn't get confusing.

"Yeah, but there's probably a catch. Like a termination fee or maintenance fees or other fees I'm too lazy to think of."

"Yeah, probably. Should we go do something?"

"I don't know. How would Princess Celestia deal with this situation?"

"She'd pawn the problem off to me."

"Yeah, she kind of does that a lot doesn't she?"

"Mhhm."

"But hey, you got wings and a castle out of it."

"Mhhm."

"Wanna make out right now?"

"Mhhm."

Author's Note

How we eventually "solved" the problem:

Chapter 7: Trixie Must Face the Realities of Her Place In Life

Chapter 14: I Did the Thing Samurai Jack Wanted To Do But Never Could

Colors, tastes, sensations etc. returned to me as I found myself standing on a pathway on the edge of town. I shook the dizziness from my head and took stock of my surroundings. It was daytime, probably late afternoon, and the temperature was hot, but not unbearably so. Ponyville lay ahead, a bit smaller than I was used to, and lacking a gaudy castle towering above the surrounding quaint thatched roof cottages. I sniffed the air; it smelled like opportunity.

Happily, I cantered into town, stopping the first stallion I could find to ask, "Excuse me good sir, but what is today's date?"

He happily answered "Why, a bat pony! We don't see your type around here very often. Maybe you can help some ponies learn about accepting those who are different from you in a few months."

"You mean taking a few months to accept them, or that this will occur a few months from now?" I asked, seeking clarification of the ambiguous statement.

Making people clarify their unintentionally unambiguous statements is one of my many talents.

He happily clarified. "Oh, dear me. The later."

"Thank, you," I replied, satisfied. "But the date, sir?"

"Oh, right, well, today is __/__/____ [The measure and passage of time in this land is vague and contradictory, so just pretend he some time about two to four years ago.]. Have you heard the news? Rumor has it, the Princess is sending her very own apprentice, Twilight Sparkle, to oversee preparations for the Summer Summer Sun Summer Sun Celebration!"

"Oh, really?" I responded, feigning surprise. "Well, then I better be on my way. I have much planning to do myself!" This wasn't strictly untrue. I did have plans to make.

"Alright then, young lad, you be on your way then!" he said, happily. Ponies days are always a little brighter after I visit them. I trotted off towards my destination.

Ten minutes later, I reached said destination, one of Ponyville's many quaint thatched roof cottages. Here came the weird part. I flew up to the second story balcony and unlocked the door, trotting into what appeared to be a very messy bedroom. "Hello, is somepony there?" A voice asked from behind a restroom door.

"Yeah, it's Rainbow Dash," I lied, throwing my voice. One of my many talents is impersonating other ponies, and Dash happens to be one of the easier ponies to copy.

"Oh, kay, out in a second," the stallion replied. I sat down on the bed and waited.

A few minutes later, I heard the whoosh of running water, and the door opened. Into the room stepped a handsome dark-furred batpony with wild lime green and sapphire blue mane and tail. He gasped. "Y-y-y-who are you?"

I smirked cooly at my younger, more naïve self. "I'm you, but stronger!"

Author's Note

DUN DUN DUN WHAT A :twistnerd:

Chapter 8: Rise of Shining Armor's Food Cart Empire

Chapter 29: The Return of Florgishmontumeridaph

You may recall from chapter four, Hydras experience widespread discrimination in contemporary Equestrian society. Inasmuch, many hydras left the territories. But Florgishmontumeridaph was determined to make it. Inasmuch, one day, he paid a visit to an old friend, me, Super Trampoline. I had previously helped him out in court, and he wanted to both repay the favor and help himself. So he came to visit me.

“Hello, Super Trampoline,” the four-headed beast bellowed. “I’d like to open a massage parlor here in Ponyville. Would you like to be a practice customer?”

“Sure,” I said. “Just don’t, uh, crush me, please.”

Florgishmontumeridaph nodded. Rather than use his arms, since he didn’t have any, he used his various tongues to gently massage my back. It felt very nice, as my back had been sore lately, on account of bucking trees with Applejack last week. I sighed in bliss as I felt my tendons and ligaments and muscles and bones released endorphins. This went on for twenty minutes, and when he was finished, my back was slobbery, but super relaxed. I smiled. “Florgishmontumeridaph, that felt wonderful. I think this massage business idea could really take off.”

Florgishmontumeridaph‘s heads smiled in unison. “Awesome. Can you help me get a business license?”

‘Sure thing dude.”

Then we went out for drinks.

Author's Note

Special Guest Author Protopony350: Super Tramampoline gets spied on by a lesser pony who also wishes to put an end to Friday forever

Chapter 30: Sunset Cuddles

Super Trampoline yawned. He had had a very long day of writing music and pulling carts here and there and also playing some board games with his friend Sound Byte. Sound Byte was a computational machine programmer and also played cello.

Anyway, he kept yawning, and Sunset Shimmer noticed. She was staying at his place during a brief trip back to the Pony world. She had a different boyfriend back in the human world, but here in Ponyville, all the main characters are dating Super Trampoline.

“Tramp, Honey, if you are so tired, you should just go to sleep and stop writing ‘My Tiny Gecko’ fanfiction.”

She was right of course. So Super Trampoline finished the chapter he was writing and went to sleep.

Chapter 9: Even Ponies As Awesome As Me Get Depressed Sometimes.

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Chapter 10: You Better Believe I've Got Trix Up My Sleeves, Except I Don't Have Sleeves.

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Chapter 11: Darn Luna, You Scary!

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Chapter 14: I Did the Thing Samurai Jack Wanted To Do But Never Could

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Chapter 15: Ain't No Rest For the Lazy

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Chapter 18: MEANWHILE...

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Chapter 19: WHEANMILE...

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Chapter 20: WHILEMEAN...

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Chapter 21: Something Happens and I'm Head Over Heels

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Chapter 24: Applejack Bakes Bread

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Chapter 25: Applejack Faces Her Insecurities

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Chapter 26.1

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Seeing someone treated respectfully by a parent left your character with a sense of respect. An act of dishonesty on the part of a mentor left your character feeling resentful and made your character decide to get even. Your character had many friends g

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The Freedom Fighter

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If you don't Vote, downvote

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Chapter Twenty Eight: In Which Rainbow Dash is Sick and Applejack Bakes Pie

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Chapter 29: The Return of Florgishmontumeridaph

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Chapter 30: Sunset Cuddles

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Beginning of the Black and Red Alicorn OC Arc: Chapter 31: The Beginning of a Plot

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Chapter 32: Back to the Past

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Chapter 33: A Leave of Our Previous Plot To Talk About Gardening

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Chapter 34: Applejack's Eyebrows

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Chapter 35: The Rainforest

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Chapter Thirty Six: And Also The Major Antagonists.

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Chapter 37: The OCs That Time Forgot

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Chapter 38: The Elder

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Chapter 39: Meanwhile Back at the Farm

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Chapter 40: The Attack

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Chapter 41: The Escape

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Chapter 42: The Jungle Part 1

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Chapter 43: The Jungle Part 2

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Chapter 44: The Temple Part 1

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Chapter 45: The Temple Part 2

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Chapter 46: The Temple Part 3

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Chapter 47: Meanwhile, a Story About Cadance and Shining Armor and Coffee Creamer

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Chapter 48: Back to the Battle

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Chapter 49: Meanwhile, a Story About Trixie

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I Just Realized That There is Nothing Stopping Me From Updating This Story.

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Oh God, There is Nothing Stopping Me From Writing Literally ANYTHING I Want Here (As Long as It is Rated “Everyone”)!

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My Friend's Unamed OC Likes Broccoli

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A Short Chapter With Princess Ember

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Batponies Love Mangos

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Poop

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Not a Good Day

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Just For Fun, I Wrote This Chapter With the Help of a Neural Network.

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The Shortest Chapter of This Story

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Starlight Glimmer Introduces a Bit of Plot to This Whole Mess

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New Year, New Traditions

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You're Probably Wondering Why I've Gathered You All Here Today

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Use 60 to insert the chapter number dynamically

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Super Trampoline Takes a Nap

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Super Trampoline Makes a Pun

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Announcement:

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1711,486 681 3,573 Edit Publish 1 Formatting Chapter Title Use 65 to insert the chapter number dynamically. You can also add a number to the value such as 67 FILE FORMAT HELP Sp

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Applejack

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Oops

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Does Saying Rainbow Dash is Hot Bump the Rating of This From Everyone to Teen? I Hope Not, Because Rainbow Dash is Hot.

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Depression

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Oh

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Remember that K-Pop Song, Gee Gee Gee Gee Baby Baby?

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As Rarity Would Say, I love Being Covered in Maud!

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The Party Part 1

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The Quest, Part 1

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The Talk Part 1

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The Ponk Part 1

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The Bonk Part 1

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Chapter 78: The Talk

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This Story is (For) Now Exactly 15,000 Words Long!

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Chapter 79: New Horizons

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Now For a Birthday Chapter!!!

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"Crushed By Foals" by the dobermans: Guest Author Week Day 1

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“Infrastructure Week for My Infinite Marefriends (a.k.a. The Ride Literally Never Ends)” by Jay Bear v2: Guest Author Week Day 2

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"Bumblebeau Takes the Cake" by Bumblebeau: Guest Author Week Day 3

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Taking a Break From Guest Author Week Because Not That Many People Actually Submitted Guest Chapters

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Chapter 86: From Ladle to Grave

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Chapter 87 Haha this is very clearly fiction and not at all based on what has actually been happening in my life over the last three days! Chapter 87 Chapter 87 Chapter 87 Chapter 87 Chapter 87 Chapter 87 Chapter 87 Chapter 87 Chapter 87 Chapter

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87 chapter

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Tanka Week Day 1

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Tanka Day 2

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Celestia Tanka

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Trenderhoof Tanka

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Ruby Pinch Tanka

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Shining Amor Tanka

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bIG mAC tANKA

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Twilight drops a truth Tsar-Bomba

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Cuddles

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Chapter 989898989898

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Hey Cheerilee Cheerilee by Glaze and The Living Tombstone Tanka

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Stats Page generated in 0.076 seconds Total duration 0.376 seconds 1,165 users online 494,874 hits today, 1,554,714 yesterday • Site Statistics FIMFiction My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg

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Oh Snap this must be the Hundredth Chapter! Because I used % i % to insert the chapter number dynamically and the result is: 101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101

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Chapter 102: I Cleaned My Room!

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Listen to Tower of Babel by Elton Bon

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This Chapter Contains a Slightly Strange Picture of Two Sandwiches I Made Today and Also a List of the Ingredients Contained Within Each Sandwich. Oh, and Also a Pizza Recommendation.

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Big Mac and I Make Out. Also, I'm Sad No One Commented On My Sandwiches :(((

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I hang out with Purple Smart

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Help I'm Stuck in a Very Short Chapter!

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Follow & Support Us Support us PATREON Chat! DISCORD Follow us TWITTER MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2020 Hasbro Inc.® Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®

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Dawn of a New Era

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Hello, my name is Bryan, and I would like to apply for this opportunity. I am confident and outgoing, have a flexible schedule, am easy to work with, have a reliable car, and am vaccinated. My email is bchandleremail@gmail.com, my phone number is (714) 49

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This chapter is kinda weird even by the standards of this story, but also one of the few chapters that doesn't include an increasingly dumb joke about making out.

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I'm a ballistics expert. And I'm a PC!

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Chapter 113: Tanka Week 2: Tanka Harder: Electric Scootaloo

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Chapter 114: Tank Tanka

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Chapter 420,69: Celestia's Tonka Truck-Sized Badonka Tanka which does not feature the appearance of Ivanka or Sri Lanka

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Thanksgiving Tanka, Ostensibly, But Really More About the Fleeting Nature of Youth, Featuring Pinkie Pie

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Can't sleep tanka

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Chapter 69,000,000,000,118: Finally an Actual Tanka: Making Out Tanka

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Chapter 119: Nap Tanka

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Boyfriend Broke Up With Me Tanka

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Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter 121: Chapter

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Chapter 122: It Begins

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USe 123 To iNSert thE chaPTEr NumBER dynaMIcalLy

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One time I told Sibsy she look like a female Steve Perry and she got mildly annoyed

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Prin124cess CELECECEcestia %i-i% Farts a Lot %i-420% 125P125r125i125n125c125e125ss 125Celestia 125F125a125r125t125s125 125a125 125l125o125t.

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Ponka Tanka

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I wrote this chapter while on the clock at work because I'm a bad boy like sprout except with massively less racism and homoerotic tension with hitch

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not bad. fugues are hard. i like that unexpected modulation around 1:00 and the passage which ensconces it. i would have liked more suspended notes, more variation of rhythm, more syncopation, a little more airspace, and personally i would prefer more var

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While attempting to write a chapter, Super Trampoline has an epiphany about glasses and his pony design

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Super Trampoline Gives Two Cheese Recommendations: BellaVitano Merlot and Ricotta || Also I make fun of bronies a bit

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Chapter something or other, a PSA about Skin Cancer and my Poor Spelling Abilities

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Chapter 132: I Accidentally Turned Myself Invisible, so this Chapter might be kind of difficult to read.

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Title stories blogs new chapter add new chapter followers following chapter number dynamically

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THIS CHAPTER INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK

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HERP DERP CHIRP CHIRP

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talking about drugs, which you should not do.

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🅱️ionicle

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Sunny Starscout joins the cast

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Chapter 139: Pipp sort of joins the party. Go follow Culture Slate on Twitter, Youtube, Facebook etc. I'm writing this on one of their computers lol

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chapter 140: Trixie explains a dumb prank she wants to pull on Twilight with my assistance to me. ALTERNATIVE TITLE: You better believe, I've got asides, diversions, and tangents up my sleeve.

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Trixie has Bofa

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Princess Zipp is gay

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A Pony Looks at 30 (Post Birthday Chapter)

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Zoom Calls and Mary Sues

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What about dis cord EMM Preggggganteyyyyyy

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Chapter 146 : Shoresy

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Twilight Gets Wasted at the Grand Galloping Gala and acts scandalous

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Pisscord

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Florgishmontumeridaph returns and I take my mental health somewhat seriously

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Flanderizer? I hardly know 'er!

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Chapter 52: Skittles, with apologies to Bookplayer

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Chapter 152 Chapter 152You're invited! Shooting Stargazing gang gang! When: tonight, 9pm-ish to 1am-ish, depending on when people are free and have to head home. Lots of carpooling options. Where: Desert northeast of LA, Somewhere near intersecti

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Well yeah well you're funny looking too I'm a kitty friend or you're even bigger cutie pie you're the cutie pie is yep no I'm not I refuse to be quiet I shall tell the world how cute you are holding okay I need Jesus Take Me to Ch

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Interlude: Meanwhile in the human world: Did you know that I have a girlfriend in real life who is a Pega sister

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Applejack and the Absurdity of Equestrian Foreign Policy

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Chapter oroboros

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Chapter 157: Applejack and the absurdity of going back jack and doing it again aka stop me if you've heard this one AKA there are differences I promise

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Chapter 158: Harbor Neight Tools

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Chapter Florida Hilbert Hotel

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ChatGPTer 42069: Computer attempts to steal my job

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Chapter 42069: Be Gay; Do Crime

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Chapter 2: Cadance and the Concept of Polyamory, and Also Some Stuff About Genetics

As I said in the description, I am currently dating all four princesses of Equestria. However, I was also dating Twilight before she became a princess. You might find some stories from back then in this collection too.

Since I am only dating these ponies right now and haven't married any of them yet, we don't do anythings that would necessitate this collection having a "Teen" tag. Doing adult married-pony stuff if you're not married is wrong, and I'm a good pony.

Cadance, or sometimes Cadence, spelled with an "e", depending on the time of day and the weather conditions, is the princess of love. While she's married to Shining Armor, she also has many other coltfriends. I am lucky to be one of them. While most males in Equestria have harems of sorts, because for some reason we have like three times as many females as males, which makes me suspect we were designed by something other than evolution, like perhaps a marketing department (I'm very smart, so I know this concept is called Fisher's principle.), Cadance is one of the less common females will multiple male partners. And a few female ones too. and a few mail partners too, also known as pen pals. Because we're progressive ponies.

Anyway, Cadance doesn't get to spend a lot of time with me because she's busy doing wifey things with her husband and running an empire and whatnot, but she does believe in free love, provided it is backed by clear communication and trust. So when I do get to spend time with her, I enjoy adventuring (princess duties can be tedious) and making out.

Author's Note

Speaking of trust issues, Cadence and Shiny still have some.

Chapter 5: Angle Bunny is Acute Rabbit

Angle Bunny wasn't eating his vegetables because he is a very picky eater. So I talked to him. Fluttershy taught me how to talk to animals. I'm not as good as her, but it still worked. I taught him how there are rabbits living in Saddle Arabia who are starving, so he should be thankful for his salad. So he ate it. "Wow, Super, you're so sweet and caring," Fluttershy sang-song as she threw a kiss on the tip of my muzzle. It was nice. I was tired, so I went and took a nap in a cloud. I can't shape clouds as well as pegasi, but they are still very comfortable.

Author's Note

~~This chapter should be longer, but I'm pretty tired, and it's not like I'm threatening my downvote/upvote ratio.~~

Chapter 7.5: A gift for Estee

Chapter Twenty Eight: In Which Rainbow Dash is Sick and Applejack Bakes Pie

Rainbow Dash was sick. Too bad, really; she doesn't deserved to be sick. I mean, most ponies don't, really. Only really bad ponies, like Sombra. He's dead though, so that's a moot point.

Anyway, Applejack is a really sweet pony, so she decided to bake an "I'm sorry you're sick" pie for Rainbow Dash. She's really a great pony, even if other ponies are mean to her, and call her mean names like "silly pony" and "background pony". Anyway, do you want to guess the type of pie she baked? I'll give you a minute.

That's right she baked an apple pie! I bet you thought she was going to be subversive and bake a blueberry pie or a tofu pot pie!* Nope! Good old fashioned Apple Pie, that good old fashioned Applejack.

You thought I was going to tell you how she made it, didn't you? Nope; check the author's notes if you want to know. Anyway, she can't fly, so I carried her to Rainbow's house and she delivered the pie and it was very sweet and we ate the pie together and after we were all full we all made out to make Rainbow Dash feel better. Making out always makes a pony feel better.

Author's Note

Here's a simple easy Apple Pie recipe: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/219165/chef-johns-easy-apple-pie/
Try making it, and tell me in the comments section how it goes! Please also post pictures of your pie!

*Apparently the line of Penny Lane "Four of fish and finger pie" is actually very naughty, so no referencing that in the story! Oops!