Brightray did not sleep well that night. She tossed and turned constantly in her bed. A rift had been created, not just in her friendship but in her faith as well. She wasn't too concerned about how Hoofbeats was treated. No, that was pretty par for the course. It's funny how expert apologists can reconcile the most blatant conflicts and contradictions, but are blindsided by peripheral issues, which is why her thoughts kept returning to one nagging question:
What happened to Prince Blueblood?

She wanted to feel like it was irrelevant, that she could just take Corn Flake's word at face value, but the details didn't add up. Blueblood was a royal pony. What could the church have known about him that Celestia didn't, and wouldn't she correct his course herself if there was an issue?

Something is wrong.

She picked up a quill and began to write:
"Dear Princess Ce Blueblood,"
she wrote before immediately throwing the paper away. Even if it weren't for her garish hoofwriting and misdesignation, she was certain the Prince probably didn't read his own mail or respond to it, especially from mystery teenagers asking personal questions. She weighed her options and decided this merited a face-to-face conversation. A trip to Canterlot would take a full day and she didn't know how to find him or gain his private audience, but her faith was in crisis and her mind was made up. She threw a few essentials into her saddlebag, got dressed, and snuck out of the house, boarding the first available train to Canterlot.

The Friendship Express doesn't have very many stops except in large cities, so it was a pretty long walk to the train station. Equestria doesn't really have good funding for public transit because everyone is literally a horse, and the ruling class can teleport. That is why the train is usually filled only with the most desperate lower-class ponies that can't afford to live where they work, which unfortunately happens to also correlate with a higher probability of mental illness and a lower probability of attractiveness. You wouldn't expect ponies to ever be Florida bus-level creepy, but socioeconomic complications happen even on a train shaped like cupcakes. In fact, I think that's where clowns come from. Brightray of course didn't know any of this and allowed herself to make eye contact with some of the more rebarbative train lurkers. An old man started jacking off and nopony was fazed or even surprised. A chill went across her spine and every moment on the train made her a little more lesbian.

Eventually, the city of Canterlot loomed ahead, and its magical aura almost overpowered the scent of tobacco. The nervous little pony disembarked and took in her environment. The erect spires of the castle towered over the skyline. The gilded buildings reflected the sunlight, making the city seem to glow. Royal guards patrolled the streets and high-class ponies in elaborate fashions made Brightray feel out of place in her plain dress and bonnet.

She plodded in the direction of the castle. She was unsure of where she could find the Prince and she had a small-town high schooler's knowledge of the actual breadth of any real center of commerce, but while the statistics of equine poverty held true on the train, they are nothing compared to the powers of narrative causality.

With that bit of lampshading out of the way, Brightray saw a crowd of posh-looking ponies filing into a fancy building. Their outfits were bedazzled with grotesquely gaudy rhinestones, as was in fashion for the excessively rich. She figured she might not find Blueblood in there, but definitely somepony who knows him.

As she wandered from one pony to the next, she was approached by a unicorn stallion with a coat that could be called brown by a layman, but which a professional would recognize as moderate gamboge.

"My heavens!" he declared, "Just look at you! That dress, that bonnet, organic cotton! It's so rustically vintage that I could almost mistake it for authentic. Who is the designer?"

She shuffled her feet and replied, "Actually, I made this myself."

He held his front hooves up to his cheeks in a squee and he continued, "How did you get it to rustle like that while standing still? It's like a summer breeze follows you wherever you go."

"What? I didn't..." She looked behind her and indeed her skirt was fluttering as if there was a little wind. "How is...? Oh right, I forgot I still had this in here." She reached into her bag and pulled out a wrapped object.

The stallion raised an eyebrow and asked, "What is that?"

"It's nothing."

"Please, I do insist," he said, taking it with his unicorn magic. He unwrapped it and what he saw was the exquisitely carved wooden vibrator, smooth and sleek and full of energy.

"Oh my!" the stallion exclaimed, "It's been polished to perfection. I've never seen this kind of quality before!"

Brightray rolled her eyes. There was an opportunity here, but once again her problems became more about Hoofbeats than herself. "Yes," she groaned, "My friend makes these. She's taking preorders."

He did the squee face a second time. "I simply must have one!" The mare saw her opening and took it.

"I can give you her information if you can introduce me to Prince Blueblood."

He curled his lip. "So, all unicorns must know each other, huh? Is that how it is?"

"I just thought I'd ask," she muttered.

His sneer turned into a smile and he jabbed her with his elbow. "Ha! I'm just kidding! Of course I know him. I'm fucking famous."

Brightray felt embarrassed for not knowing who he was and she felt bad for asking, but she did anyway. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Trenderhoof, fashion journalist. Call me Trend."

They shook hooves and he continued, "Now come on. I'll get you into the show so you can talk to Blueblood."
He escorted her to the front of the line and the bouncer waved them in. Inside, was a glitzy catwalk with models showing off the very latest in fashion bullshit. The Prince had a front row seat from whence to silently judge them.

She slowly approached the Prince. He turned to her with his nose up and stated, "I know that garb. You're one of those religious freaks. You don't belong here." He grinned slyly, as if he'd been waiting to throw that back in someone's face for a long time.

"That's why I'm here actually," she replied.

"I already told you people, I'm not going to your conversion camp, and quit mailing those pamphlets to the castle. Rockhoof is getting weird ideas."

Trenderhoof showed him the vibrator. "She brought this as a peace offering, it would seem," he said.

Brightray explained, "Yeah, this isn't exactly a sanctioned visit."

"Yes, I know of these trinkets," the Prince said, taking it into his hooves. "A unicorn can only put so much life into one thing, especially if they mass produce it. I guarantee it will wear out within a week."

"No, no," she said. "No unicorns involved actually. An Earth pony made this. It's made from magical wood and I think it's still technically alive or something." She lifted her skirt to reveal her sunflower cutie mark. "I might just be a quaint country girl, but you can see I know my way around a plant."

Blueblood lifted an eyebrow.

She continued, "I'll let you have it, if you just tell me what happened."

He took a long sip from his drink and began, "You're a pathetic little thing and my time is valuable, but I suppose one of these would be worth it. Years ago, I lived around that area. It was a nice, quiet town until the church took over. Word got out that I was gay and -"

"Wait, you're gay!?"

"I... are you fucking serious right now?" he broke his royal composure, "Just sit down and listen. Damn. Anyway, word got around and Cornhole or whatever didn't like that at all. He said it was something about family values, like his single ass would know anything about that. He tried to convert me, but I didn't budge, so he wound up blackmailing me into leaving town. I bet he's pretty smug after that one."

"If everyone knew you were gay, how did he blackmail you?"

"Well, it wouldn't have worked as blackmail if it was something I was willing to share. There are many sins out there, trust me." He winked.

She was a little disappointed, but mostly satisfied with the answer.

"I'm... I'm gay," she stuttered, "I like vagina."

"Hmmmm..." he scratched his chin, "Gross. Have you smelled that shit? It's like peasant food almost."

"I'm not sure I follow."

"Oh, like you would know. I will take this and be gone with you."

He clapped his hooves and a couple of large guards escorted Brightray from the building. She wasn't entirely sure what to take away from this experience.

The train was emptier on the way home and she had some time to reflect on what was said. Having been raised in a secluded area with a homogeneous population of straight ponies had led her to believe that it was normal and ideal to reject alternative lifestyles, lest they tear the fabric of civilized society, but maybe, just maybe, Equestria was hella gay.

Author's Note

I'm not dead, y'all.

I know the world is going crazy right now, with abortion rights being taken away in the states, and we're winding down from the impeachment, and we're all in quarantine for the COVID-19, but guys, I had to ride a bus.