Twilight Sparkle Does Not Play With Dolls

by naturalbornderpy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Comedy
Length: 1674

Twilight Sparkle does not play with dolls. No. No way. Not anymore. Even if the doll in question looks exactly like her.

Twilight Sparkle does not play with dolls. No. No way. Not anymore.

After finding Spike playing with an entire set of dolls resembling the Elements of Harmony and others, Twilight chastises her assistant for being too old to be playing with such things. Dropping them to the floor, Spike leaves Twilight alone with them to continue her studies.

But that's no problem, because Twilight Sparkle doesn't play with dolls, right?

Edited by roker12.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-27 02:40:02 UTC

Fluttershy's Bald Spot

“I think you look simply wonderful today, Spike,” Rarity said to the dragon, choosing to ignore the large purple claw hooked tightly around her middle.

Spike laughed and turned his head from side to side, his entire body coming along for the ride. “Why thank you, Rarity. I don’t think I need to tell you how beautiful you look today… considering you look that way everyday.”

With her mouth sealed shut, Rarity giggled. The purple claw wrapped around her angled her body to the side as if hiding a blush. “How nice of you to say, Spike. I guess I’ve never told you how much I appreciate our friendship… or how much I think of you when I’m alone.”

A second purple claw lifted Spike up until he was nearly nose to nose with her. “Really, Rarity? You mean that?”

“I know I should have told you that before, but…” The unicorn sighed out softly.

The two claws pushed them closer together until they were mere millimeters apart.

“Yes?” Spike asked, his never blinking eyes gazing into hers.

Rarity huffed out breathlessly. “I think I’m falling for—”

Knock-knock-knock.

“I didn’t catch you playing with your dolls again, did I?”

A wash of blood entered Spike’s face as he hastily grabbed at each of the small ponies littered about the floor, shoving them into his lap and (hopefully) out of sight. Behind him, Twilight Sparkle took a few steps into the large library and stopped.

“No?” he tried meekly.

“Then I wasn’t just a witness to the first kiss between mini-Rarity and mini-Spike?”

Spike moaned and dropped his shoulders. “Firstly, Twilight: they’re not dolls, they’re action figures. Secondly: Discord gave me these dolls because he said he wore out his first set.” He held up a tiny Fluttershy figure missing most of its mane—even the paint underneath had almost been rubbed clean through. “Thirdly: it’s none of your business what I do with them.”

Twilight strolled around the dragon and plucked the Spike doll out from the pile, levitating it in front of her. “It may not be any of my business, but I still think it’s a little creepy—a whole set of dolls looking exactly like my friends and you. Aren’t you reaching that age that might be too old for dolls?”

Spike stood up abruptly, letting the remaining toys clatter to the floor. He balled his claws. “So Mr. Smarty Pants isn’t a doll?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Mr. Smarty Pants is a keepsake, Spike, and one that I don’t play with anymore. How do you think my friends would feel if they knew you had a bunch of replica figurines of them?”

With a claw, Spike swiped the Twilight doll from the air and shoved it in her face. In a high falsetto voice, he exclaimed, “My name’s Twilight Sparkle and I know what’s best for everyone, so you should just listen to me because I know everything about everything!”

Spike let the mini-Twilight fall to the ground, landing head first with its mane sprawled out in all direction. One of its legs bent slightly to the right.

Twilight grimaced. “That is not what I sound like!”

Slam!

Spike had already left the room in a huff, all the while mumbling under his breath.

Twilight sighed. “He’ll feel better later, I’m sure he will.” She glanced at the small mound of helter-skelter dolls. “But there’s no way I’m cleaning those up.”

Using her horn, she scooted out a chair from the table near the window and set down the tea she’d gotten from before. Steam still swirled from its top.

She faced the room. “What did I want to read again? Oh, right. One-Hundred and One Rules for Proper Napkin Usage.” A purple aura wrapped around a dusty text from the shelves, lowering it down. Twilight followed it to the table. “How in Equestria have I not read this one yet? I’ve only counted seventy-four rules so far.”

She glanced at the floor again and thought absently, Twilight’s leg looks weird. It might be broken.

Twilight sat at the table and snorted. “Dolls don’t have bones… or for that matter feelings at all.” She shook her head. “Silly Spike and his—”

Must be rather uncomfortable with her face buried into the floor like that…

Twilight propped her book open and took a sip from her tea. “It’s just a doll, Twilight. Just one that happens to look a lot like—”

She might’ve sucked up a dust bunny through her nose already, and look at the state of her mane…

With a hoof, Twilight slammed her book shut. “Fine! I’ll fix it, then I’ll read.”

She directed her horn to the fallen Twilight doll on the floor and levitated it to the table. Setting it down, she quickly mended the mini-Twilight’s leg and straightened out her mane. The Twilight doll stared at her while she worked, a gentle grin edged into her unwavering features.

Twilight set the doll down near the edge of the table and cocked a brow. “I don’t always look like that, do I?” She closed her eyes and sprung open her text again, skimming the first few lines. She mumbled to herself, “Now Spike’s got me playing with myself.” She looked up from her book. “Something about that sounded off.”

She blew on her tea and downed a large gulp, awkwardly glancing in the doll’s direction. Its infectiously cute button eyes stared blankly at the wall below the window frame.

I think she’d like the view from here…

Twilight pursed her lips. “No, she wouldn’t. She’s just a doll that happens to look a lot like me. And I don’t play with dolls anymore.”

The sun’s just coming up and I’m sure she’d love to see the market square down below…

“Argh!”

A moment later, Twilight scooted a half-dozen thick books under mini-Twilight’s rump, boosting her up until she could finally gaze out the windows.

Twilight sat down again, glaring at the doll. “Happy now?”

I’m sure Twilight would love some tea along with her view. It’s not nice to drink in front of guests and not offer them any…

Twilight fumed. “I repeat: I do not play with dolls!”

***

Twilight was blowing softly into the empty tea cup she’d retrieved for her doll when Rainbow Dash flew into the room. She got a few steps from the table before coming to a halt.

“What are you doing?”

Twilight choked on spit as she roughly grabbed the Twilight doll and held it to her chest. She didn’t dare turn to face her friend.

She said quickly, “Hey, Rainbow. Didn’t hear you come in. Want some tea or a book or perhaps to look in another direction for a few seconds?”

“Were you playing with yourself?”

Twilight’s face went red. “What?”

“I mean, were you playing with a Twilight Sparkle doll?”

Twilight weighed her complete lack of options. “No?”

Rainbow Dash strolled away from her and looked at the pile of dolls left along the floor. “Do you have dolls of all of us?”

Twilight slowly turned to her. “That’s not… I mean… those aren’t mine, actually…”

Rainbow plucked the Rainbow Dash doll from the floor. “How could you, Twilight?”

“What? Play with dolls?”

Rainbow Dash held the doll out to her. “No. How could you let Rainbow Dash get so dirty? Look at the state of her wings for Celestia’s sake!” Next to the pile, she sat down and began removing the bits of dust from her doll’s coat and wings, taking the time to smooth out its multicolored mane. Once complete, she lifted it above her and sailed it around her head. “That looks better. Also, Twilight, little Rainbow should be flying at all times. It’s doesn’t matter if she’s a doll.”

Bemused, Twilight slowly set her own doll back on the table; her second copy of One-Hundred and One Rules for Proper Napkin Usage splayed out for her smaller self to read. Without realizing it, Twilight flipped to the next page for her.

As Twilight and Twilight continued to study and as Rainbow Dash guided Rainbow Dash in a hoof above her head, the door to the library shot open and Rarity trotted inside.

“Hope I’m not barging in, Twilight. Spike said you’d—”

All three mares remained frozen in place; a gentle breeze blew passed the open windows. Rarity’s large eyes went from Twilight to smaller Twilight and then from Rainbow Dash to smaller Rainbow Dash. Then she noted the remaining pile of dolls on the floor.

“Are you two playing with dolls?”

A bead of sweat rolled down Twilight’s face.

Rainbow Dash’s lips remained stuck in mid-propeller noise.

A magic aura lifted the Rarity doll from the bunch.

Rarity asked them bluntly, “Now just who is responsible for the state of my doll’s mane?”

***

Sluggishly, Spike climbed the many stairs to the castle library, his mind whirling with all the things he would say to Twilight when he took back his dolls. So what if it was a little odd? So what if he enjoyed making his Spike figure the center of attention for once in a story all his own?

He opened the door and his jaw hit the floor, a quiet whimper escaping from him.

“More tea, Rarity?”

“Why I’d adore some, sweetie, but only a small cup. We’re supposed to be spending the afternoon at the boutique to try out the new summer line of hats.”

“I… I thought we were planning on feeding the animals today…”

Around the table near the windows sat Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash. In a hoof each was their smaller selves, nodding their heads as they spoke. A half-eaten cupcake sat near Pinkie Pie’s doll, while Rarity brushed her doll’s mane with a tiny brush. The Applejack doll’s trademark hat had been given to Fluttershy’s to help conceal her bald spot.

Spike exhaled sharply and stomped across the room, gathering each mare’s attention. From the ground, he grabbed the Spike doll and held it out to them.

“And Spike’s still not invited?”