A little help from Pinkie Pie
“Well well well, if it isn’t my dear old friend Dustshine” Discord said as he snapped his fingers; his large, scaly tail coiled around me and lifted me to his face.
“What do you want now, Discord?” I growled, squirming as I tried to escape. He chuckled and reclined on a cloud, his beady eyes glistening as he spoke: “Oh nothing, although since you asked, I was wondering if you could take care of a little problem I have”.
My eyebrows raised quizzically, “And what’s that?”
“Well you see: that pink pony—what’s she called?—Oh yes, Pinkie Pie. I need you to try and get her to stop teaching me how to be funny” his muzzle wrinkled in sheer disgust as he snapped again, and I saw AppleJack’s favorite pig snorting and squealing as it flailed around in the air, a massive pair of wings on its back.
“You see?!” Discord said eagerly, “Hilarious!” he nearly tumbled off the cloud in a fit of laughter. Wiping a few tears from the brim of his golden eyes he sighed and looked at me.
“Why would I have to get lessons on how to be funny? I’ve been the closest definition of “funny” in all of Equestria for over a thousand years!”
“I’ll get Pinkie to stop if that’s what you want, bu–”
“Great!” he exclaimed, clasping his claw and paw together in delight, “How excellent! I’ll leave the two of you alone then,” placing me on the ground, he waved furiously as Pinkie Pie approached, bouncing along jauntily.
“Yoo-Hoo! Pinkie Pie!” he called, “I think Dustshine wants to have a little chat with you!” he gave a quick glance my way, “Goodbye!” he winked before disappearing in a flash of white.
A low growl echoed in the back of my throat but it stopped abruptly when Pinkie’s exuberant tambre reached my ears.
“You want to talk, Dustshine?” she asked. I nodded stiffly,
“Yeah, just let’s go back to Sugarcube corner and rest for a bit, I’m hungry and would love it if you made me some sweets?”
The mare’s blue eyes lit up and bulged slightly as a mammoth smile slid across her face.
“Okie dokie loki!” she replied. I plastered a smile to my face and trotted along next to Pinkie who had resumed her normal bounce as we made our way into the town.
A little help from Pinkie Pie
When we reached the shop, Pinkie leaped behind the crumb-coated counter and bounded into the kitchen. When I stepped through the swinging white doors, I felt a chef’s hat being slapped on my sleek mane, and when I lifted the rim out of my eyes Pinkie’s forehoof wrapped around me and yanked me next to the oven where she plopped a tray of unbaked cookies in my hands and continued stirring a batter frivolously.
“You can just put those in the oven, but be careful once you take them out.Granny-Pie’s super-secret-ultra-super-duper-amazing-scrumpalicious-” Pinkie began to ramble again, popping up here and there around me while describing the treats, “world-famous-quadruple-chocolate chip-cookies-topped with-wriggly-gooey-marshmallow-fluff are the BEST! But you should watch out for the fluff, when it’s in the oven it rises, and if you pop it…. KABOOM!” she hollerd, jumping into the air and flailing her arms. I wince noticeably and shrink down a bit, and this time Pinkie seems to take the hint.
“So what did you want to talk to me about?” she asked while I encased the tray with my shimmering blue magic and slid it into the already scorching oven.
“Oh...uhhh, well, It’s just that Discord wanted me to tell you something…”
“What?”
“He...doesn't exactly appreciate you giving him lessons on humor. He claims that he has enough funny in him already.”
“Oh…” I wheeled around to see Pinkie’s mane droop slightly as she stared at the ground blankly, and after a few blinks her eyes began to shine.
“Oh Pinkie..” I take a few apprehensive steps towards her and place my hoof on her shoulder tenderly, “It’s alright. How about this, you can give me lessons on being funny, I’ve always wanted to learn from an expert, anyways” I say with a wink. Pinkie looks up hopefully and a sly smirk crosses her cheeks.
“You sure you're up for my supreme training?”
“Let’s do this”.