Upon the Sea of Sky

by Meep the Changeling

Chapters

Prologue: Out of the frying pan.
2 - Retrofits and Holy Handlemons
3 - That is not dead which can eternal lie...
4 - Botch! & Death's Doom
5 - Changes and Challenges
6 - Pet the Morality Pony
1 - Through the fire and the flames, we fight on!

Prologue: Out of the frying pan.

Author's Note

WAIT!

I forgot to explain the univerce! That's kinda important...
Here you go!

Prologue: Out of the frying pan.

Captain Ruby / Kaily - 2nd of Leaffall, ‘09 EoH

There is an old saying that goes ‘When it rains, it pours.’ It’s supposed to mean that change comes rarely, but when it does those changes pile up until everything is soaked to the bone. Based on my life so far, it’s probably completely true.

I looked up from the ship’s wheel to the rigging on the mizzen mast. Or at least, the rearmost mast, in case that isn’t the mizzen. I could see Pine flying around the sail, inspecting the quality of the spell which animated the ship. The pale brown black maned pegasus mare’s face was hidden by one of the sticky-outy-mast-bits that holds the sails up.

“Is there anything we can do to improve things up there?” I called, putting a hoof up to my mouth to help direct the sound.

“She’s ‘bout as good as your average sailor’s job, Captain.” Pine shouted back. “Your wizard friends should see if they can’t get her to tie the rigging a bit more loosely. She’ll have a hard time changing the sail-plan if we hit a storm at this rate.”

“Right!” I called in reply before turning my head to look for the twins.

I never thought in my life I would be captaining a pirate ship. Not even a little dingy full of Somalis with AK-47s, the sort of pirates one expected in the modern age. The fact that I was now the captain of an old school wooden galleon in a world populated by mythical creatures was something I would pass off as a fever dream if I woke up in my apartment tomorrow.

But it was real, it was actually happening. I have been here for two weeks, died once, and came back as a four legged grey-blue furred pegasus like pony with bat wings. My new body was somehow a vampire that was empowered by the sun. I’d gone from being female to being both genders at once. I’d gained the powers of a Bard, met a pair of twins who were wizards, sized the pirate ship we were being held on, and converted it’s former captain into an ally.

All of this to help a mysterious group of people on a quest to save this world from what was described as ‘a magical reaper invasion’. It was like my life had turned into a game of D&D with the most awesome DM ever. Because as far as I could tell that’s exactly what happened.

I’m now a time-displaced, reincarnated, bard pirate captain, who also happens to be an adorable vampire batpony with magical sunblock. Two weeks ago, I was a human who rang up purchases in a gas station. When it rains, it pours.

I spotted the twins down on the quarter deck near the main mast. Risky and Lucky were a combination of those twins from Ouran Host Club, Tony Stark if he played tabletop RPGs instead of invented things, and the brother-sister duo from No Game No Life. They were the sorts of individuals who calculated everything, had memorized every single D&D book, and were crazy but endearing.

Which is why it was terrifying that the mysterious group which gave us our quest and powers let them write out their own character sheets, effectively picking their own powers. At the moment, Risky and Lucky looked to be casting a spell together, their chanting and hoof waving must look so odd to people native to this world. Only unicorns normally get to cast spells actively, and they just sort of think about it. Dungeons and Dragons magic must look so weird to them.

I let them finish casting their spell before calling to them. I may not have played as much as they had, but I was fully aware of what can go wrong when you interrupt a wizard’s spellcasting. My body was already a clusterfuck of magical properties.

As they finished the ship’s sails rippled, their white canvas color turning coal black like someone poured dye into water. As the main sail recolored a spot in the shape of a twenty sided die and crossbones remained white, as if the sail was a screen printed tshirt. The twins grinned and gave each other a hoof bump.

Pine yelped as the sale she was looking at changed, fluttering a few feet back before giving the ship a little impressed nod. “Huh, that looks way better. Why didn’t I ever think to dye the sails?”

She had been unusually optimistic about everything for the last two days. The twins did something to her. I just knew it. “Hey!” I shouted to the twins, “Did you two charm Pine or something?”

Risky turned and gave me a little wave. “Hi Captain!”

“How’s the sails look?” Lucky called back.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Great! But what did you do to-”

“It’s okay Captain, I asked them too.” Pine said dropping to the deck to my right with a thud of hoof on wood. “I wasn’t adjusting well, one of them mentioned they could help. I agreed to let them curse me to be optimistic about everything. Neat huh?”

I raised an eyebrow and looked down at the twins. “Really?”

“She literally asked for it.” Risky said sheepishly.

“Yeah, we explained it was technically a curse beforehoof.” Lucky finished.

“We can remove it later if it’s an issue, and she wants us too.” Risky added.

I rolled my eyes. This is why I was the captain. Sure Pine had the experience, but knew nothing about the quest. The twins were the kind of people who got power an instantly took over a pirate ship, magicked it into a flying, self driving airship, then made it’s former captain into a peppy cheerful person because she complained about being sad. Not really leadership material.

“Just… just go help Pine tweak your spell to work better.” I ordered after a moment of facehoofing.

“Sure, what do we need to do?” they asked in unison.

Pine snapped her wings open and flew down to the deck, hovering a few feet in the air in front of them. “We need to loosen the rigging, and if possible, we need to make the ship able to remember each of its sail-plans. That way if we encounter rough winds or a storm it can adjust the sails properly so we don't have a mast rip off the ship. Fly on up to the mizzen’s top sail and I’ll show you how it should look.”

“Er-” Risky blushed, scratching the back of her head with a hoof.

“About that…” Lucky giggled nervously.

“We can’t fly.” They quipped.

Pine’s wings stopped moving. She dropped to the deck like a sack of potatoes, a completely confused look on her face. “What? You literally made my ship fly and run itself, but you can’t fly yourself?”

“We don’t know how.” Risky admitted. “Ever hear of a mirror that leads to parallel universes? We’re from there. Our world didn’t have magic, so we couldn’t fly there, so we never learned how.”

Pine nodded. “I know of it. I tried to take a ship carrying it to Equestria a few years back. It was a valuable target.”

She shook her head and stood up, “I’m not even going to ask where you got your powers from, but you two need to know how to fly. Captain could you help me demonstrate-”

Pine’s eyes shut tightly as she realized something. “You can’t fly either, can you?”

“Well, I haven't flown in this body, but I did when I was a pegasus hybrid. Should be the same right?” I asked curiously.

“This body?” Pine asked looking even more confused.

“I died and was reincarnated.” I answered in as truthful a tone as I could manage.

“Oh. Well okay then.” she shook her head slowly, “World’s going all crazy this week I guess. Captain, would you come down here and help me show these two how to fly? We can't be an airship with non-flying crew members, that’s not at all safe.”

Risky blinked and gave Pine an odd look. “Why would a pirate care about safety?”

“Why would?” Pine shook her head incredulously, “This is a business, this is how my crew and I made our livings. Even a pirate ship has to have certain rules, loosing crew is not good for business, nor is a captain who shoots people who make mistakes. There are rules, well okay, guidelines. My point is, you need to feel safe on this ship, which can fly now, so you two need to get off your plots and into the air. You’re grown mares, for Faust’s sake!”

“She’s right.” I said as I snapped my wings open and flew down to the deck. “Okay Pine, what do you need me to demonstrate?”

“Stand there and flap your wings.” Pine said. “We need to show them how it doesn't work.”

I complied, flapping my wings as hard as I could.

Pine pointed to my wings, “Thestrals are directly descended from Pegasi, you fly the same exact way we do. See how her wing flaps do nothing? That’s because our wings are too small to make enough lift to fly. Our wings are important, but you don’t fly with them.”

I stopped flapping, and held my wings out straight, bending them slightly, then slowly moving them up and down. “The flight is magical. Your wing shape and movement guides the spell which forms what they call a ‘flight field’. The field warps space around you and pushes you up, down, or whatever.”

Pine nodded. “I’m not exactly a great flier, being good is half talent, half practice. The more you fly the better your magic gets because your become better at making the right wing gestures. As a grown mare, you two should instinctively be able to move through the air at a walking speed. Give the Captain and I a few hours and you should be okay enough to help me help you get he rigging in order.”

It was actually rather fun teaching the twins to fly. Mostly because of how completely terrible they were at it. They sort of bobbed and drifted like balloons while flying and would have to get good at it by brute force practice. As far as Pine could tell their natural pony magic was as weak as their granted powers were strong.

The moment they were able to keep to a general area of space while hovering Pine had them up in the rigging, showing them exactly how the ropes were supposed to go. She was an incredibly patient instructor, you could tell she understood that some people just didn’t know what she knew and was used to explaining it. I chalked it up to probably having had to train a few crews before.

I would have paid more attention to Pine’s lesson, I was a bit interested in how my ship worked after all. Unfortunately somepony had to keep us on course. The Enterprise liked to drift off course if you weren't paying attention to where it was going. The enchantments which made it work had been made by someone who knew nothing of how ships worked after all.

Unguided magic wasn’t especially smart. One reason I loved this world’s magic is it worked like a science. It could bring your imagination to life yes, but it worked much better if you know what you were doing. So we were slowly getting the ship all ship-shape by revising and tweaking the spell as we sailed for the nearest village to crew up.

According to Pine, that was a small batpony mining village on the seaside called Farriar. Apparently it was one of those villages where you got one of two jobs, sailing, or mining. It would be easy enough to find a crew, get some supplies, and then we could figure out where to go from there.

The plan for saving the world was a bit non-existent at this point. The problem was a lack of information, the DMs were literally unable to simply tell us what was happening and what to do. The twins said they were using a spell to give us our powers and the like, but it was complicated and they didn't have much real power. Maybe they literally couldn’t say anything.

“Some kind of direction would be nice.” I muttered to myself.

I could feel the sun on my back as I mulled over the possibilities. It was getting late in the evening. We should be in town soon, maybe I could ask where a good library was. I could look up whoever this Grogar (who had apparently killed me the other day) was.

On a whim, I squinted over the bow to see if I could spot the town on the slim gray line that was the shore. I wish I still had a pegasus’s eyes, they had excellent distance vision. I could see a small orange dot on the horizon. Maybe that was the village?

It was a mining town, they probably smelted ores as well. I wouldn’t put a smelter underground, venting the smoke would be a nightmare. The light was pretty flickery though, forge fires and foundry fires usually didn’t look like that because of the extra airflow making the flames into more of a jet of fire than a camp fire.

“Captain!” Pine shouted urgently. “Farrier’s on fire!”

“Son of a bitch!” I cursed, slamming my forehead into the ship’s wheel violently enough to make my hat fly off.

I scooped my my hat, dusting off the red felt with a hoof, and avoiding thinking too hard about how I was holding it. I found thinking about it fucked it up.

“How far out are we?” I asked. Plopping my hat onto my head.

“Well, we are a few knots faster than I’m used to… five minutes tops.” Pine answered.

“Right. Run out the guns! If there is one thing years of fantasy novels have taught me it’s that we are about to learn everything we need to know to get started on this quest.” I sighed. I had known fighting was inevitable, but well, who really likes combat?

“What do you mean?” Pine asked as she flew over to hover in front of me.

“It’s simple,” I answered, summoning a electric guitar shaped like an axe with a spell to get ready for combat. “Starting Townington is always on fire.”

2 - Retrofits and Holy Handlemons

Captain Ruby - 3rd of Leaffall ‘09 EoH - Morning

The Enterprise creaked as her keel settled into the cobbled together dry dock the crew had whipped up from debris and the old dock. In Pine’s own words she was an older ship, and well, since we were essentially transplanting a village of miners, we may as well take advantage of the mine’s stocks to replace older metals, do a few renovations, get the crew deck more livable, take on any supplies we could, that sort of stuff.

Lyra said we could also work on improving the guns, drop some sheetmetal across the hull, and make other improvements. Which gave me the idea to get Pine to actually, you know, train the new crew we were taking on. Half an hour later, I was drawing up a sketch for an epic cast iron pony skull to mount as a figurehead on the ship, while the ship touched down into a dry dock for a full overhaul.

No, not the ship, that was not the proper description of what was happening here today. This was my ship, and those ponies outside were my crew! I stood up and trotted out of my cabin. There was a flame burning in my chest which I needed to share with everyone, well, everypony. My ship and my crew, on a quest of the utmost importance. This is what it felt like to make history, not simply live through it.

I threw open the cabin door, hopped onto a railing, grabbed hold of a rope to study myself and looked out over the thirty seven ponies below as they made sure my ship was sturdy. In a movie, this would be where the captain belted out a rousing speech.

I took a deep breath and-

“There you are!” Lyra called, running over. “So I’ve got an idea for… are you okay?”

I nodded, hopped down onto the deck and gave her a sheepish grin, “Yeah it’s all good. What’s up?”

“Well, part of the problem with the current canons is they’re well, linear, we can't aim them. If we rework the guns to pivot slightly on a ratchet system we can focus fire on one area instead of just blasting to either side. Furthermore, given what you said we are up against, some forward guns would be a good idea. For now I could rig up some ballista to fire rocks, but if we can get the cash together I could make larger versions of Gretta on swivel mounts.

“That would take a lot of thaumaturgic current though, more than I, the only unicorn onboard, could provide by charging gemstones. The Kingdom of Equestria to the south uses a harvester spell to collect current from ley lines to power it’s arcane devices, I could reverse engineer that but we would need to build a room onboard to safely house the… eh, let's call them magic batteries. I could rig that up right now, and it would let us build more magical devices later.”

That seemed like a great idea. “I like it! We could install some boosters or something. This girl is a bit sluggish. Maybe some maneuvering jets, we could go all Kerbal on this thing!”

Lyra laughed and nodded, “That was one idea I had. I’m sure Risky could use the power supply to do something crazy with it as well. At least when she’s done with the equipment project you have her on anyway. I’ll get on finding a few carpenters to make some room on the aft of the orlop deck, if that’s alright.”

“Erm,” I blushed slightly, embarrassed as I asked, “Where exactly is that?”

Lyra raised an eyebrow, then facehooved and asked, “You just stole this ship didn’t you?”

“Yeah.” I admitted.

“I just hope you can learn the ropes from Pine… She’s definitely a sailor.” Lyra sighed. “Okay, so, two decks just below your cabin. That’s where I was talking about.

“That sounds good, power supply right in front of any engines we add on is a pretty good idea, less modifications needed and less power lost during transmission.” I said looking over the deck, noticing for the first time how many cracked and worn planks made it up. “How long should repairs and modifications take?”

“Probably about two months,” Pine called, flying into view overhead, “‘course I’m factoring in getting that lot shipshape.”

“Is there anything we should focus on first?” I called curiously.

“Yes. We should reinforce the hull. This girl is designed to be supported by the water, not floating in the sky. I’m pretty sure it would hold up over time, but better safe then sorry right?” Pine said as she hovered up around the-

“What are the sticky-outy bits on the mast called?” I asked, needing to know before the question started bugging me too much.

Lyra and Pine facehooved in unison. “Spars captain, they are called spars.” Pine groaned.

“I only live in a port town and even I know what they’re called!” Lyra objected.

“Captain, for the next few weeks how about we have lunch in your cabin and I talk you through ship anatomy and operation?” Pine offered.

“That’s probably a great idea.” I said with a nervous chuckle.

“Why the hay are you not in charge of this thing?” Lyra asked looking up at Pine.

“Because she stole it from me fair and square. Also I hated the job, but love the occupation.” Pine pointed with one hoof to the group of bat ponies milling about on the dock, “You know what you are good at captain? Music. Why not play something to motivate that lot into getting started with the repairs?”

That was a good idea, also just a little insulting. “Yeah, sure.”

I hopped back up on the railing, focused my magic and summoned up a guitar, then realized I knew absolutely no motivational songs, or ship building songs. “Oh crap…” I mumbled to myself.

I couldn’t not deliver something rousing now. My reputation as someone useful was one the line. I would have to improvise something, and quick!

I closed my eyes to think. We were upgrading a ship. A flying ship. Ship, flying, like a starship. Hey starship! Like the band starship, they had that song about building- Oh god, I couldn’t remember the lyrics!

“Hi captain!” a random blue maned pony called from the dock, giving me a friendly wave.

Fuck! I was just standing here too long! I looked like some asshole just creeping on everyone!

“I, uh, thought I would give you all a tune to work by!” I shouted to cover up the fact that I had just been standing here for who knows how long trying to remember obscure 80’s pop rock lyrics.

“Save me Alestorm!” I muttered to myself deciding to make a medley of the first band that opened into my head.

I quickly slung my guitar into position, and strummed the first few bars of The Quest. As the notes warbled out across the sky, I felt much more comfortable. As the crowd of ponies below turned towards me, I focused my magic, casting Ghost Sound to provide the rest of the song’s instruments, then launched into the vocals, singing as best I could remember, twisting them to better fit the situation.

“From lands across the sea we have returned once more \ With countless treasures plundered from those distant shores \ But now the time has come, our destiny at hand! \ With cannonfire and battlecry we will reclaim this land!”

The rest of the song was not really appropriate, so I quickly shifted songs, playing the chorus for Heavy Metal Pirates. To my amazement, the entire crew started to sing along.

“We are Heavy Metal Pirates \ We sail across the sky \ In our battleship of cosmic steel \ We're the terror up on high \ We are Heavy Metal Pirates \ Our cutlasses are true \ So give us all your treasure \ Or soon we'll come for you!”

From somewhere, I have no goddamn idea where, every single one of them produced a cutlass to thrust skywards at the line ‘our cutlasses were true’. Confused, but unwilling to stop this spontaneous musical number, I moved to the next verse.

“The wind is in our sails, and fate is on our side. \ So raise the Jolly Roger and sail into the night. \ We'll sail for freedom, the winds in our mane \ No quarter for the villains, we'll bring 'em death and pain.”

Three ponies in the crowd suddenly had eyepatches, a good number of them worked out a little dance which couldn’t have been better if we had rehearsed it. I gave up trying to make sense of anything and threw in a bit from Wolves of the Sea.

“With a hii hii hoo and a hii hii hey \ We're bound to be close to the sea! \ Our captain will stand on the bridge and sing, \ ‘Pirates are all we can be!’ \ With a hii hii hoo and a hii hii hey! \ We're hoisting the flag to be free. \ We will steal the show, Jolly Rogers go. \ We are ponies of the sea!”

As I returned to Heavy Metal Pirate’s chorus, I almost dropped my guitar in shock. Pine had a parrot on her shoulder. Where’d she get a parrot?! This was the freaking arctic tundra! When did those bat ponies get into the deck and rigging? I hadn't seen anypony move!

I wanted to stop playing, but I didn’t dare to, gods knew what chaos would transpire if something broke this… whatever it was! Spell, curse, hex, or maybe I just rolled a twenty. I decided to quickly finish the medly up with a bit of Set Sail and Conquer before somepony- nope never mind, a few had tricorn caps now.

“We set sail at first light, \ Questing for steel with power and might. \ Set Sail and conquer - On a quest to distant lands! \ Set Sail and conquer - Destiny is in our hands! \ To the heart of battle ride - The gods are on our side! \ We'll sail and conquer 'til we die.”

I quickly finished up with one last rendition of the chorus, ignored the numerous sashes everyone got from the ether, threw down a quick guitar solo, gave them a bow and hopped off the rail. Very, very slowly I backed into my cabin, doing my best to ignore how everypony was just going about their business like nothing had happened, and everyone hadn't suddenly gotten pirate stuff.

“Yeah, my first Heart Song was creepy too.” Lyra commented as I passed her enroute to hiding in my cabin.

“What?” I asked, begging her with my eyes for an answer to what in the actual fuck just happened.

“You know, what just happened. It’s rare, but sometimes the entire Celestia damned town will just launch into a musical number.” She giggled. “Then they just stop and resume their day. They don’t even remember it.”

“How?” I begged.

“I don’t know. It’s probably a World Spell.” She answered with a shrug.

“Why?”

She shrugged again. “I think a wizard did it. You know, for fun.”

“But… where did everypony get-”

Lyra shook her head and threw her hooves up in the air, “Beats me! The first one I saw was when they built me a house, in like three minutes, and it was nice!”

“How come we remember it?” I demanded incredulously.

“I think it’s because we aren't native Equines.” Lyra mused thoughtfully. “I’ve noticed all six times I’ve been in one.”

“I… I’m going to go lay down for a while.” I decided opening my cabin’s doors by walking into them backwards.

“Yeah that’s what I did too.” Lyra giggled.

Dracony - 3rd of Leaffall - Midday

My name is Dracony, I’m half-dragon half-pony. I have a very powerful, strong, duty bound dad, and an irritatingly nice pegasus for a mom. Both of whom are terribad at picking a foal’s name. I live in a lair in a volcano, which is almost as bad as my name sounds.

Oh no, not because of flowing magma, or toxic gas, or other volcanic hazards. It’s a dead volcano, has been for about three thousand years now. Which is why it sucks to live here. The fire within the mountain is dead, the rock died with it.

Specifically, I live in a small room off of the main chamber carved out of rock and completely plated in a nickel-cobalt-titanium alloy. Why the metal plating? Granite melts at 1260°, and they know I can burn through it quickly enough. Did I say live in? More like, held prisoner in.

I’m sure a lot of people feel like their parents hold them prisoner. I should probably clarify that mine actually do. Like literally, hold me prisoner in a melt-proof (so far) room in the house. A room that is precisely 1956.562944 cubic meters in volume on the coldest day, and 1956.5630192 on a warmest day of the year. I know. I measured. Like, at least a thousand times, maybe more. Either way, there is a shitlode of datapoints available on my room’s metal expansion due to temperature.

The room is entirely featureless aside from a my claw marks on the floor and a nice, shiny black charring on every available surface. The claw marks are not from like, me trying to dig my way out or anything. They were from well, just wear and tear over the years. I spend most of my time in here.

In their minds, my parents have a good reason for keeping me locked up. It’s not because I’m dangerous, it’s because I don’t want to take over the family business from dad. whenever somepony slays him that is. Then takes the hoard we use to make ponies think there isn’t anything more valuable in the lair. It’s a guardian of the shrine type gig. I don’t want it.

So I left. Five hundred thousand, eight hundred and thirty-two times. So they lock me up. Kinda like a back up guardian in a can. I just don't think I could handle sitting on a pile of coins until something kills me. Which is what they want me to do if dad dies. Which I really doubt he will, because I’m pretty sure that nopony even knows what Black Blood is anymore, let alone how to crystallize it and coat a weapon with it. Nothing else will kill him for more than a few minutes.

I know, I’ve tried. No not while trying to escape (usually), but for practice. I used to not quite understand how long forever was, and was into the whole ‘family buisness’ idea so we would take sparring matches which only ended when I killed him. Then dad would self-revive thanks to the chalice and say he was proud of me, blah, blah, blah.

Then I turned four hundred and realized how long forever is. Oh my Whoever-the-alicorn-of-fire-is, I do not, I repeat, I do not, know how mom has handled living as long as she has. I don’t know how I have handled living as long as I have! Stupid ageless spell in the family blood line…

Well, that’s not true. I don’t mind living until entropy finally gets me or somepony kills me (I haven’t drank from the fountain in the basement yet. So still kinda mortal. Sorta. A little. Why haven't I? So I’m still able to leave the cave. Duh.). The real problem is after spending forty-two hundred and forty-two years as of today in one god damn cave you get very very bored of that cave!

Maybe I could stand it if there was stuff to burn in here. Ah, fire! So pretty, always different, no two flames ever shaped the same as they dance, spreading to all they touch by making sister flames and growing from a pale flickering spark into a raging inferno. Comforting, warming, beautiful, yet also deadly, destructive, and terrifying to my enemies!

Not that I have enemies, but I wish I did. They would certainly liven things up. I’d burn them with fire for amusement.

Or maybe make friends! Friends would be nice. They would need to be fire proof though, or we couldn't sit in the forest and watch it burn. What? Forests are supposed to burn!

Every ecosystem has its own fire regime, and the plants and animals in those ecosystems are adapted to or dependent upon that fire regime. Fire creates a mosaic of different habitat patches, each at a different stage of succession. Different species of plants, animals, and microbes specialize in exploiting a particular stage, and by creating these different types of patches, fire allows a greater number of species to exist within a landscape.

That’s right! Burning down forests is a good thing! But did mom listen? Of course not! That's when I lost ‘outside privileges’, like I’m a freaking fourteen year old instead of… well somepony who should have died of age like more than thirty times by now.

Unless I would live longer than a pony, I do look more like a dragon than a pony. I need more data there really. That’s just a hypothesis. It could be only one death due to age. Or less. Dad’s not sure how long he would live naturally.

Anyways, the rapid oxidation of a material in the exothermic chemical process of combustion is the greatest thing ever, so I devoted my entire life to the worship of Whoever-the-alicorn-of-fire-is and burning things. It’s paid off! I’ve never gotten to talk to Whoever-the-alicorn-of-fire-is but I can feel a power there, burning, whenever I seek his or her comfort.

No, I’m not crazy, I can ask that power to do things for me, and it does! Almost every time. I can even sense fire I shouldn’t be able too if I concentrate. Like the smelter in the village at the base of the volcano. Like every last lamp in the village, every candle, every hearth, every cooking fire, every last coal. Not in so much as I could feel their warm, I simply knew they were there, how many of each kind there were.

I spend a lot of my time using this ability to sense flames while I imagine what their fires look and feel like. It’s my meditation. So when the entire village exploded into a sea of fire last night I felt it instantly. I could feel the air warm in my room as the burning village increased the temperature in the freezing air for who knows how far!

I spent the entire night smashing my claws against the door, demanding to be let out. The village was burning! I needed to see it, I needed to see the flames dance, watch the ash flutter through the sky, to feel the heat of the flames. Also the ponies would probably like to not burn to death, and I was fireproof. I could just go pick them up and put them someplace that wasn’t a paradise.

Did one of my parents open the door? No, of course not. They never think about what I want, it’s not what they want, so why would they let even a single neuron wonder about it?

The small window in the door squeaked. I could smell my mother’s scent as she opened it, but I didn’t bother turning to face the window.

“Did you hurt yourself last night?” She asked in that tone which suggested she cared.

“I chipped a claw. I’ll be fine.” I answered. It was simpler to just reply. She would go away faster if I did.

“I know you wanted to see it, but your dad didn't want me to have to go after you again, and we both know you would have run off again. You’re the next Guardian of the Shrine, you need to accept that.” She bullshited.

“You could have another kid. Also he’s never going to die, we are all certain dad’s particular vulnerability no longer exists outside of our knowledge of it and he cursed us to only be able to mention it to each other. He’s going to live until this world ends and the shrine is destroyed by the passage of time. There is no reason for me to be kept here.” I said. Again.

“You never know. A single dusty old book and a greedy pony could leave the Shrine unguarded.” mom sighed.

“Except, you know, for you.” I sighed, “You’re stronger than dad is.”

“What if they beat me? Knock this earring off and I’ll age to dust in a heartbeat. I can’t fight. You need to accept your destiny.”

I rolled my eyes. Again with that argument, as if an earring you welded onto your ear just comes off in the slightest breeze.

“Maybe I would if you let me go somewhere for just a hundred years or so. It’s not like time matters to you.” I recited.

“That’s not what you are meant to do dear. Please, learn to live with reality!”

My left eye twitched violently in it’s socket. “Live with reality? I’ve been imprisoned by my parents for so long, I can’t remember what the sky looks like!”

She sighed that long, sad, mom sigh of her disappointment. “Honey, when life gives you lemons you make lemonade.”

Make lemonade? I turned around and gave her my best fierce dragon’s glare. “Just for that I will burn this door down, with a lemon! I will pray until he or she gives me a combustible lemon that burns this door down!”

She rolled her eyes, “There is no Alicorn of Fire, and they don’t grant prayers.”

“Combustible lemon, door burned down, I’ll never be back.” I promised.

She rolled her eyes at me and slid the window shut. I sat down on my haunches, closed my eyes and focused. For once in my life, I needed to make contact. However long it took, I would continuously beg to be heard until I was. I had all time to try.

Captain Ruby - 1st of Snowfall, ‘09 EOH - Noon

The newly refurbished Enterprise sat in the drydock. She was no longer the simple wooden vessel the twins and I had commandeered, she was a wonder of magical engineering, and the pride and joy of her whole crew. Two month’s of hard work from everypony went into this days launch.

We took her guns and worked out a system to aim each one through the gunports independently. We built two massive ballistas on the bow to fire cannonballs forwards, and another two in the back. We had defensive capability in all directions now.

The defenses were shored up as well. Risky loved Lyra’s idea for an arcane reactor and the two collaborated on the project, as a result there was plenty of power for enhancements to draw on. The sheer number of defensive enchantments she worked into the ship was staggering.

Five different kinds of energy fields could surround the ship at a moment’s notice, walls of force to seal the entrances to below decks during attacks, The entire ship was covered in protective wards for the crew to make it hard to hit anyone on the ship if you were off the ship, massive black clouds could be generated to work like a smoke grenade… Engineers and Wizards make great inventing buddies.

The crew had helped even more in my opinion. Turns out bat ponies can manipulate shadows like clay, and use them to weave ‘spell circuits’ into objects which when powered by unicorn magic, provide magical effects. With their help, we had covered the entire hull’s outside with a grid of rope, which Risky transmuted into a layer of carbon nanotubes after I told her what they were and how they worked.

Then the crew used most of the iron we salvaged to plate the carbon nanotube reinforced hull with ablative iron plates, and enchanted them to work like the reactive armor on an abrams tank. So if we were hit, the plate would explode in a shaped charge and negate the impact, and an impact to the same spot later would probably just dent the hull. Which again due to the reactor and bat pony awesomeness would slowly heal over time as if the wood were alive.

They also helped me in bringing my fantasy to life by having an epic pony skull on the bow. Then they improved it by making its eyes burn with purple fire and enchanting the mouth to amplify sound to use like a massive megaphone for anyone standing on the bow.

Turns out if you burn down a bat pony’s home she gets very angry. So when you tell them you are pretty sure the pony responsible is helping to bring about doomsday, and you're out to stop them, well, they make you epic hull armor.

Pine had them whipped into what she insisted was ‘proper shape’ by the end of the first month. She had me there a week later. She also oversaw most of the repairs and refits. That poor mare must have been in three places at once for the entire last two months.

I’m glad Lyra had taken a liking to her, the two weren't exactly dating, but we all expected them too. After all her hard work and how willing to help she had been she deserved something nice. It seemed like everyone deserved a little reward actually, even me!

I don’t say it much but sometimes I manage to do something actually great. Last time, it was improving the solar charging system on a friend's RV. This time, it was taking a broken people, and giving them purpose.

My crew had lost their entire lives, most of them had lost a loved one, their village had been home to a thousand ponies. The first few days they had been running on adrenaline and fear, after that panic, depression, and despair had set in.

I spent most of my free time talking to ponies, playing tunes, mitigating the damage Genesis had done to them. One by one, I made them feel welcome on my ship. I gave them purpose, to stop the monster who did this, whoever she was working for, and become wealthy enough to retire anywhere in the world by the end of the quest. I fixed thirty seven broken people, and made them strong again. As Pine put it ‘You earned your hat captain.’

My reward was already decided. I would let myself return Risky’s love. It’s really hard to snuggle with someone for more than a week and not start feeling things for them. Hell, I’d never taken advantage of Tess’s open marriage policy before. She had a dozen times. Someone wanted me for a change, the spouse who thought I was dead wouldn’t mind, and I had earned a bit of fun in the evenings.

So had Risky in fact. Not just because after two months I knew she liked me for me and my looks, but because thanks to her my crew wouldn’t starve. As well as being armed with weapons we could use on anyone without killing them, that also protected us from most harm. She had even begun teaching spells to a few of the crew who she claimed showed aptitude. Though apparently that had been Lucky’s idea.

Everything was ready. The ship was ready to take on a whole fleet, and we had the plan all figured out. Step one, we needed the rule book Discord had given Taylor. If we were going to win, we needed to know everything about our powers I was certain Taylor still had it, so we were going to get it. That would be a bit tricky because I had decided I wouldn’t be revealing who I was to anyone until I knew a way to ensure Grogar couldn’t just kill me again.

Step two of the plan was to find a way to contact the DMs directly. They had a plan, they were subtly guiding us to accomplish that plan, and they had failed. How had they failed? I didn’t know for sure, but I had died, and I saw one of them plead with Death to let me live because they needed me. That mean the GMs were not in full control of this ‘story’. Forces could work against them.

We needed to know exactly what had to be done, because their planning stunk. It was time to let the players tell this story. In game terms, the plot railroad needed to jump the tracks before they got me killed again. Or anypony else with the power to help stop the end of the world died.

Step three was easy, learn about the threat and make a plan to stop it. So that was less of a step in the plan and more of a what to do next. Hell it wasn't really a plan when I thought about it, it was more of a ‘figure out what’s happening and what to do about it.’ That wasn’t a plan per say, but more of a reflex.

All that said, it was time to get moving. There was a long way to sail before we reached the Badlands in Equestria. After we arrived there, an even longer road would lie ahead of us.

I snapped my wings open and flew up, landing on the bow loudly enough to draw everypony’s attention. “Alright girls! Release the moorings and weigh anchor. Somepony hoist our flag clear to the top of the mizzen so everyone can see her. We’re setting sail for warmer skies in ten minutes!”

“Aye Captain!” thirty ponies chorused gleefully.

As I watched the frenzy of activity to free the ship from the dock I couldn’t help but smile. That feeling I making history was back.

Somepony - 1st of Snowfall, ‘09 EOH - Noon

“Ruby is finally going to leave the ruins of Farriar.” I informed.

The others looked at me in mild surprise. “She is? About time!” Three cheered.

It had been my duty to watch over Ruby while she repaired the ship. Everypony else had watched the other party or been searching for whomever it was who was fighting against us. Thus far, we had no clues to their identity, other than they were controlling the remnants of the Tribunal indirectly.

“So I suppose you want me to keep watching them while they sail to retrieve the book?” I asked.

Everyone nodded, and in that moment of silence, that faint buzzing sound which had been filling our cave randomly through the last few months came back.

Five groaned and put her hooves over her eyes. “Oh dear Luna… Somepony find it this time!”

Everyone got up and searched around the cave, pushing our meager possessions aside, looking under books, stacks of our notes, and even in tossing aside our bedding. It was probably a futile task, it never buzzed for more than a minute and would be gone for hours at a time after that short-

“Found it!” Three called, “It’s a… Discord, is this your phone? Someone's calling it.”

“What the hay is a phone and why is it so annoying?” Five demanded angrily.

Discord floated over to three and picked a small black plastic rectangle up off the ground. “It is my phone, this was created by my magic… Which is especially weird, since ponies haven't invented these yet and I haven’t made myself one. But it is.”

Discord tapped the rectangle with a claw and held it up to the side of his head. “Discord speaking, Spirit of Chaos, reformed and retired.”

Everypony besides Three looked on in confusion as Discord of all people suddenly sprouted a completely confused look.

“No, this isn’t the Alicorn of Fire. Do you mean Celestia? Actually hold on, how are you even talking to me?” he demanded in a confused yet excited voice.

“You’re meditating? Missy, you’re ‘meditating’ has got me on the line. That’s not just meditate- You devoted yourself to the Alicorn of Fire and are channeling their power to try and- wait hold on, you’re a Cleric? How!” Discord pulled the device away from his ear and tapped a glowing section of one side. A female pony’s voice filled our cave instantly.

“I don’t know what a cleric is, sorry. Could you please let this… Celestia talk to me? She’s in charge of fire right? I’ve been trying to talk to him or her for two months now.” The voice informed.

“Celestia is the Princess of the Sun, not fire. I’m afraid you can’t talk to her. She’s… not available.” Discord said calmly. While signaling five to start writing the conversation down.

“Oh well then that’s fine, I don't want to talk to the pony in charge of two or more the collisions of atomic nuclei. I need to talk to whomever's in charge of exothermic energy release via rapid oxidization. I’m trying to break out of prison so I can go… heck I don’t know, anywhere. Everywhere.” she said.

“I’m sorry but there isn't an alicorn princess of fire.” Discord said carefully. “Well, if there is I don’t know her. I suppose there has to be, you are channeling something’s power to talk to me.”

“I am? I mean you can sense the energy too?” she asked eagerly. “Then he or she must want me to talk to you! I need a lemon which can burn hot enough to melt a nickel-cobalt-titanium alloy door three inches thick.”

Discord blinked, then grinned wider than I had seen anyone smile in three years. “You need a combustible lemon?”

“Yeah. It’s a spite my jailor thing. She told me to ‘make lemonade’.”

“Just a minute, I’ll be right back, chaos stuff.” Discord quickly said before tapping a button on the phone.

“Girls,” Discord said, still smiling, “I can’t not grant that request. It’s too good! I have no idea who that is, or how she’s a cleric, but one thing is clear. Whoever is fighting us must have given her her class levels. If we can befriend her…”

I nodded realizing what he was saying, “We gain an ally and hurt our enemy. Good plan… Do you have the power to give her what she wants?”

Discord shook his head, “No. Our spell is taking too much of my magic to maintain. But if we all work together we can give her the knowledge of her class levels and how to work them, and since she has the fire domain and therefore can throw firebolts, I can make those look like lemons that explode.”

Five and one nodded slowly, “This could be a trap.” Five muttered.

Three nodded, “Yeppers. But well, it could also be a stroke of luck! Besides, she sounds friendly!”

“From what I can sense she is a cleric devoted to the concepts of fire and friendship.” Discord informed helpfully.

One stood up and nodded again, “Alright, let’s do it. If she agrees to help us.”

Discord tapped the device again. “Are you there?”

“Yes. Will you help me?” came the reply in a pleading tone.

“Probably. What's your name?” he asked politely.

“Dracony. Yes, I know. It’s a terrible name. Dad’s bad at naming things.” Dracony sighed.

“Well miss Dracony, where are you?” Discord asked.

“In a volcano lair next to a village called Farrier. Dad lets the villager’s mine under it.”

Everypony’s ears perked in alarm. Then I realized something. The other DM, the one we were fighting had messed up. Dracony must have been meant to meet up with Genesis, but for some reason had not! The forces of evil were still rounding up their party. We had an advantage!

“Farriar!? What luck!” Discord exclaimed. “There is a ship about to leave that village, it’s captain is working for some friends and I to try and save the world. If you join them I will-”

“Question: Is the world going to burn?” Dracony asked interrupting.

“Well, no, it’s not going to just burn up. I mean there will be fire and lots of it but that’s not the real problem.” Discord admitted taken aback.

“Then I’ll help! I could really go for an adventure! I’ve been stuck in here forever. A ship works for me too, anything to get away faster than I can fly. So what’s the deal? Who or what do I light on fire for you?” Dracony asked.

“Well… I’m not allowed to say. A rule is you need to figure out who the threat is. The ship is captained by a bat pony mare named Ruby. Tell her you are a Cleric and the gods said to help her on her quest. In a moment you should feel new powers awakened within you. Good luck and… if you ever figure out how you called us let me know. Goodbye.”

Discord tapped the device. Shook his head, shrugged and made the ‘phone’ float over to Four. “Check this for any magic besides my own. We might be able to discover who our enemies are. But before that, let us engineers make Cave Johnson his Lemons.”

Three giggled and flashed us all a grin. “I always thought Twilight would be the first one to make those!”

Dracony - 1st of Snowfall, ‘09 EOH - Noon

I felt it immediately. My connection to her deepened, i could tell the Alicorn of Fire was female now. Her power came to me far more clearly. It’s every working filling my mind. I had done it!

I lay on my belly as if bowing and whispered, “My Lady, though my voice did not reach you I am humbled to know you have answered my prayers, and really stoked you are helping me spite my mom by answering prayers. I shall burn thy enemies to cinders forever.”

Proper thanks given, I stood up on all fours, carefully pulled myself onto my hind legs, wings opening for balance, and conjured a lemon into my left claw. I moved to throw it, but paused as I realized I could do far more now than simply light a fire. I paused again as I noticed it had a small fuse in one side, like a bomb would. This lemon was a weapon, and my Lady had the power to embody my weapons with magic. I had but to utter the right prayers.

The door wouldn’t even know what hit it!

I raised the lemongrenade up above my head, closed my eyes, and began to bless the lemon with every spell I thought might work. “Oh Lady of Flames, bless this thy lemon, that it might burn thy enemies into tiny coals, in thy mercy, amen.”

A orangish red light flared in my claw. I lowered the lemon, blew a thin jet of flames to light the fuse, pulled my arm back to throw… “One, two,five! Er- Three!”

The lemon sailed at the door and struck it with a satisfying smack. There was a blinding blaze of pure white light, a tidal wave of heat, and with a lion’s roar of flames the door as well as some of the walls around it transformed into a glowing pool of slag. I couldn’t help but squee.

“Hey mom! That was the sound of life rueing the day it thought it could give Dracony lemons!” I shouted as loudly as I could.

“Right, bolting now.” I said to myself. The next sound was my claws scraping stone as I sprinted down the tunnel to freedom. Also fire, lot’s of fire!

Author's Note

Edited by Popmann, thanks buddy!

Oh, and have a picture of Dracony since she isn't visually described in this chapter.

http://i.imgur.com/X1rM4Nb.png

3 - That is not dead which can eternal lie...

Pine Sap - 1st of Snowfall, ‘09 EOH - Noon

There was a spot on the ship I missed being on when I was captain, the crow’s nest. Nothing beat just standing up atop the mast looking around the infinite expanse of the sea. Except for the sky that is.

Airships are pretty rare artifacts. Aside from Risky and her, possibly still alive sister, I don’t think anyone, let alone anypony, knows how to make one. While pirates tend to have most of the few remaining from back when people could afford such wonders, I hadn’t gotten to try my hoof at keeping lookout on one before.

It’s fun enough where I enjoyed being the one pegasus on board. Nopony can see further than a pegasus. We can look at a pony across from us and with a twitch of the eye be looking at a house a five minute flight away as if we were just as close to it as the other pony.

Sure, at night a thestral will do a better job, but Faust damn it if I’m not going to take the day watch! Besides, it took me a full three hours to prove to Ruby that pegasi make our homes in the clouds. We wouldn’t run into a reef up there, but we could hit a city and piss off everypony in it.

The position was needed for that alone, and we still needed to keep an eye on weather systems. This wasn’t Equestria, pegasi didn’t have the winds and rains on a leash. I don’t know about everypony else on board but I don’t want to sail right into a thunderstorm because no one is watching the clouds.

Of course, it was also fun to watch the ground fly by. That’s right, I like the easy job which is pretty damn important. Doesn’t everypony? The most important thing in life is for you and everypony you care for to ensure minimal hardships, and enjoy maximum pleasure. With this job everypony remembers you and recognizes you as important when all you really do is look around in case of -

Anything heading to the ship. Like that black spec that just separated itself from the village, and was taking off, heading for us. Had we forgotten somepony? We set sail nearly ten minutes ago, I swore I did the headcount properly.

I focused on the dot, vision snapping into focus and -

“Dragon! Bearing fifteen degrees astern to port!” I called at the top of my lungs.

To my amazement only the Captain, and Risky showed actual concern. Ruby sprinted to the wheel, turning it in a fearful frenzy to bring the guns to bear. Risky did her weird muttery hoof wavy magic, activating the ship’s wards in a blaze of silver light.

“What's wrong with you lot? All hooves stand to quarters!” I bellowed.

A dark purple furred, bright red and dark blue maned mare below me took a spyglass from her bag and squinted off into the distance. “Easy there mate, a dragon lives up in the volcano. We rented the mine from-”

She nearly dropped her spyglass, eyes contracting to pinpricks as she screamed, “It’s not Stormhide! Everypony panic!”

In less then a second every single thing I taught them vanished. The deck below became a panicked mess of chaos which reminded me why I preferred griffons. All I could do was hold a hoof to my face, ignore the screams, and be thankful the important systems were magically powered.

I turned my attention back to the approaching dragon. Below me, a barrel of apples flew overboard as somepony ran headlong into it. I was fairly certain the dragon was a female, her head and tail spines were short and sloped backwards, indicative of female dragons as far as I knew.

Somehow somepony manage to shake the mast. “Pine! Help! It’s utter chaos down here!” Ruby screamed over the sounds of a full on herd wide panic.

“I’m doing what I can captain!” I called back. Orange scales, red spines, claws and wing membranes. I wasn’t familiar with that family. Thank Faust it wasn’t a purple and green drake, the last then we needed was teleporting breath.

“You’re fucking around in the mast!” Ruby accused.

Right. The captain wasn’t from around here. “Ignore them! It’s just Herd Spook! Anypony not affected will be helping solve the problem. I’m identifying the dragon!”

“The hell is Herd Spook?!” She demanded.

“Somepony panics so other’s panic too! It- It’s a pony thing! Drake’s a young female, she may be after a hoard… She looks like she’s a weak flier but still faster than us.” I explained turning back to try and look for the -

“Hi!” said a blue eye the size of my face which filled my vision!

“Ahhh!” I screamed, almost falling off the mast.

The dragon flapped her wings moving further back, “Oops! That was startling right? Um, those ponies, are they afraid because of me?”

Faust’s mane she was huge! Also she was most certainly not a pureblooded dragon. The best way to describe her was if you took a pony’s general shape, covered it in scales (with cute little freckle like scales on her nose, cheeks, and flanks), gave her spines instead of a mane, two slender swept back draconic horns, a dragon's wings and tail, and half-hoof half-claw talons. Then make that pony bigger until she was about two and a half ponies tall.

“H-how did you get through the shields?” I stammered, gulping nervously.

“There’s a hole in the top.” She said pointing up with one talon. “Seriously though, are they afraid of me?”

“Yes…” I admitted, while carefully looking up to find, a hole in the shields at the top. Faust damn it... “Do they need to be afraid?”

“I don’t think so. I didn’t see any other boats up here, but I guess there could be. Are you the Captain? I thought the captain would be in the tallest shippy bit.” She babbled.

Huh, maybe this wasn’t an emergency. “No, Captain Ruby is down at the wheel. Do you need a ride?”

She turned and looked towards the wheel, before giving me an angry look. “Nopony’s at the wheel!”

I turned and looked in surprise, “She was there a minute ago…”

“What are you doing sortta-on my ship?” Ruby demanded, her voice coming from above us.

“Oh! She moved! I’m sorry for getting mad.” the dragon apologized. Turning to look at Ruby she offered a smile, “Hi! Are you Ruby?”

Ruby raised an eyebrow hard enough to make her hat twitch. “Yes… How do you know my name?”

“I was praying to her Fwooshyness the Lady of Flames to try and break out of the room my parents locked me in, but I accidentally contacted somepony else who was like, ‘World saving quest over that way.’ and told me I should come help you.”

“What?” Ruby and I asked together with confused head tilts.

“Oh! He said to mention I’m a cleric!” the massive half-dragon informed excitedly.

Risky appeared in a flash of light below us teleporting onto the top spar. “Excuse me, did you say you’re a cleric? Heal specced or combat specced?”

“Ummmm…” The half-dragon, Ruby, and I intend together looking at Ruby in complete confusion.

“Er- I mean could you heal my sister? She’s minus most of her body right now.” Risky said sadly.

The orange behemoth nodded, seemingly quite impressed. “And she’s alive still? That’s awesome! Everything I’ve ever eaten dies way before it gets down to halfway. She must be pretty tough! … I think I could stop her from dying, if she is. I mean she’s still alive, and I can’t imagine she was like that before that awesome fire two months ago.”

Her eyes glazed over for a few moments. I swear I saw flames shaped like hearts dancing in them. Then she blinked and her eyes refocused. “Um… I was saying somth- Oh yeah! I can't put her body parts back. But I think I could prevent her from dying.”

“Oh…” Risky’s ears drooped sadly. “Well that’s better than nothing.”

“We do need a healer…” Ruby mused. She looked down to Risky and asked, “Could you cast Zone of Truth around us please?”

Risky nodded and muttered, “Dleif scitilopitna.”

I felt a tingle pass through me, the half dragon blinked and sank down in the air to get on eye level with Risky. “What kind of magic was that? You have dragon wings, are you a half dragon too? Can we just do that? Or is that like a pony thing? You’re WAY more pony than me. Which sucks… I used to look like you but then dad made me get rid of most of my pony half so I would be tougher. He’s kind of an asshole like that.”

“I’m just a thestral.” Risky answered simply. “I am a wizard though, so I cast a spell. Yeah, I know only unicorns are supposed to be able too… It’s not unicorn magic, it’s different.”

“Oh, okay! So why are you standing on the uppy bit’s sticky outy bit? You have wings, you could be burning up here with us.”

I did my best to ignore my eye twitch as she referred to the mast as the ‘uppy bit’.

“Burning?” I asked in confusion.

“Yeah, burning. I never understood ‘chilling’ to mean hanging out. That’s stupid. cold sucks. Fire is awesome. So burning is the correct phrase.” she answered flapping her wings to hover closer to me as she spoke.

I wanted to argue that point, but this was a very big half dragon, who apparently ate meat, and I was pretty sure I would fit into her mouth. Fortunately Ruby spoke up before I said something stupid.

“What’s your name?”

The half-dragon’s ears drooped and head hung as she muttered, “Dracony… Look my parents kinda hate me and are also terrabad at naming things. Mom calls the necklace which enhances her speed her ‘speedy amulet’.”

Ruby gave her an incredulous stare. “They seriously named you a contraction of dragon pony?”

“Yeah… but I hate it so just don't call me anything. If nopony else responds to ‘hey you’ everything will be great!” Dracony said with a naive smile.

“You mention your parents a lot. How old are you?” I asked. Captain seemed intent on taking her with us, if this was someone's child… well…

Dracony blinked and tapped a claw to her chin thoughtfully. “Um… what year is it?”

“The ninth year of the Era of Harmony.” I answered.

“Which is when exactly?” she asked, scales darkening in a sheepish blush.

“One thousand and thirteen years after Princess Luna was banished.” I informed.

“Who?” She asked in confusion. Her eyes pleading with me for an answer.

“What rock did you crawl out from under?” Lyra’s voice called from the rigging, apparently having climbed up while we were talking.

“That one.” Dracony answered pointing back towards the mountain.

Lyra blinked, taken aback. “Oh. Well… You know, Luna, Princess of the Night, Alicorn Goddess of the Moon and Stars.”

“No I don’t know her. Mom never talks about pony stuff so I never learned the names or number of Alicorns. Do you know who’s in charge of fire? I know she as a she.” she asked eagerly.

“It’s 5824 CE.” I said having finally added the era’s together to get the current year since the Classical Era.

“Oh! Awesome! Hold on… mathing…” Dracony informed, tapping her claws together as she preformed a way to complicated arithmetic for figuring out your age. “Um… Four thousand two hundred and forty one. I think. Could have missed a year there.”

“Come again?” Ruby asked in a shocked tone.

“Again? But I haven’t done that once here yet. Do you mean like, you wanna watch me-”

“What? No!” Ruby said facehoofing, “It’s an expression! It means could you repeat what you just said.”

“I have never heard that expression.” I said giving ruby an accusing look.

“Yeah same here.” Lyra called.

“Yep, not a saying.” Risky confirmed.

Dracony nodded confidently. “So you do wanna watch? Well okay, it might be neat to have someone watch, but it will probably be hard in the air-”

“Please just say how old you are again.” Ruby groaned.

“I’m this many.” she replied remaining completely stationary.

“You didn’t hold up anything…” Ruby prompted.

“Because I seriously don’t know! Four thousand somethings. I’ve lost track okay? I’ve been locked in a room so my parents can make me the new shrine guardian if dad ever dies. All I know is I got in trouble for burning a forest down like four thousand years ago and haven't been let outside since.” Dracony admitted.

“Captain?” A green maned pony called timidly from the deck, “The dragon isn’t going to eat us is it?”

Dracony looked down and shook her head, “Nope! Ponies are like, way too chewy. Also it’s more fun to eat evil things.”

“Yeah it’s all good everypony. She just wants to come along on our quest.” Ruby called. A heartbeat later she added, “She’s nice… but a little crazy. In an endearing way.”

“Awww thanks!” Dracony exclaimed with a grin.

The ponies below sighed, laughed, and smiled in relief and went back to their business. A dozen or so flew up towards the mast, probably to say hi.

“Right. Crisis averted, but I still want to know how you knew my name, where I was, and what you want.” Ruby informed.

“I told you, I was praying to try and get a lemon to burn my room’s door down with-”

“What?” we all asked in unison with equal confusion.

Dracony held up a claw, a lemon with a bit of canon fuse sticking out of it inexplicably held in her grasp. “Yeah, combustible lemons. The perfect weapon of spite. Can’t leave home without one!”

She tossed the lemon back and forth between her foreclaws as she continued. “Anyways, I didn’t get a hold of Whatever-her-name-is, my Lady of the Flame. Instead I got a hold of some really confused guy who was like… I don’t know Chaos god or something. Anyways he said he'd give me all the lemonnades I wanted if I came and helped you guys out. And I was like ‘awesome I’ll go set shit on fire for them’ because literally anything beat being stuck in a box you can barely turn around in!”

Ruby gave Risky a quick look. Risky nodded, “Looks like commune contacts them DMs.”

“The who?” Dracony asked sharing my confusion.

“The people who gave us our quest. Alright, you can can come with us. Just um, I take it you follow a goddess of fire?” Ruby asked.

Oh bloody tartarus! “Yeah, be careful with fire on the ship. It is made of wood.”

She nodded twice. “I swear in the holy name of Chlorine Trifluoride I will not burn the ship.”

Lyra’s face scrunched up in confusion as she asked, “How they hay do you not know what year it is but know what Chlorine Trifluoride is?”

Dracony held a claw to her heart reverently, “My lady passed onto me the knowledge of her holy water when I was but a hatchling. I am blessed with the knowledge of all which burns.”

Lyra raised an eyebrow questioningly. “All?”

“Spacetime ignition temperature is one point four two times ten to the thirty two degrees Kelvin. At this point, reality itself is burning, thus all things burn. Therefore by knowing how hot you need to make a fire to reach plank temperature, you know all which burns.” Dracony said reverently.

Lyra nodded slowly and began to climb down the rigging. “I sleep in the cabin next to the machine shop. Please stay out of both of those… there's oils, fumes… lotsa flammables. I’m going to go away now okay?”

“Okay!” Dracony said with a completely oblivious smile. The poor girl may have been a few thousand years old, but she had the social skills of someone who just turned twenty.

“So, Dracony…” Ruby said with a wince, “That’s a horrible name. Ever hear of nicknames? It’s a name people call you besides the one your parents gave you.”

“You can have different names!?” she exclaimed, nearly falling out of the air as she forgot to flap her wings.

Ruby nodded. “Yeah, since you’re sailing with us for a while, and not burning the ship or things on the ship, or people on the ship, or air around the ship, I thought you might like a real name. Like, I don’t know… How’s Connie sound?”

“Exotic! Like burning copper sulfate, but with extra cute. Also it’s not completely stupid.” She replied simply.

Ruby and I waited a few seconds quietly.

“Oh! You mean if I would like to be called Connie! Yes please! It’s a nice name.” Connie giggled.

I looked over to Ruby, giving her my best concerned look. “I hope your mate has another one of those earrings in stock because feeding a dragon of her size is going to be a logistical nightmare. Also I don’t know where we can find a berth for her.”

“I wasn’t born, I hatched.” Connie commented.

“That’s shiptalk.” Risky informed flapping her way up to Ruby’s side. “She means a place for you to sleep… and well, frankly, Hon the only place on the ship she is going to be able to fit into is our cabin. She’s too big for the hallway below decks.”

Ruby hummed to herself, “Well… that’s a problem. Connie would you be ok with us shrinking you so you-”

“Yeah no. I’m not little. Nope nope nope.” the half dragon interrupted with a nervous twinge in her voice.

Ruby sighed, a defeated frown crossing her muzzle. I was very happy to be sure Ruby wasn’t the sort to argue with a pyromaniac dragon. “Alright… you can bunk with Risky and I. But if we want some pri-”

Risky interrupted by leaning over and whispering into Ruby’s ear quietly enough for me to not hear anything.

Connie, on the other hoof, “You like dragons? That's cool, but your context implies you mean more than that. Sooo like, what?”

Risky sputtered, cleared her throat and gave her a sheepish look. Ruby laughed and gave Risky a pat on the head, “At least you didn’t just go ask her right away and assume I’d go with it… What Risky means is she thinks you are pretty and would like to have some fun with you. Which is okay with me, but she didn’t think you would hear her and-”

“Oh!” Connie giggled, “I get it! Sure! First overgrown forest we come across we’ll burn it down together!”

I couldn’t help but laugh as Risky explained what she had meant by fun. Or so I assumed, I couldn’t hear anything over the sound of my laughter. Ruby’s face when she said ‘burn it down’ was priceless! No treasure in all the seas could compare to that face!

“Oh. That’s less fun… unless it’s more fun with someone than alone. I guess we could try.” Connie said as Risky finished.

I blinked twice and turned to look at the two in shock, “Seriously?”

Ruby shrugged. “A person’s a person. Also well… why not?”

“She’s a dragon!” I objected. “The logistics are astounding! I mean she’s huge! No offense.”

“Why would I be offended by a complement?” Connie asked.

“Meh. We’ll work something out.” Risky said with a shrug.

“You just met her!” I objected.

“That’s okay, I don’t mind. I have a lot of lost time to make up for, and they are cute.” Connie quipped.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Well alright if you want to try to get a dragon in your herd go for it. But don’t come crying to me when she accidentally breaks your legs by sitting on you too hard.”

“They won’t. I’m a cleric. I’ll just heal that if it happens. It shouldn’t though, I’m squishy.” Connie commented.

“Do you even understand what they are asking you to do?” I asked, my objections basically hinging on how apparently little Connie knew of social things.

She nodded. “Yeah, they want to share a hoard with me. Which is the base unit of a family, implying sexual activity between all adult members not spawned from other adult members within the group. I’m ageless, so what’s a few years tied down to two ponies who are kinda cute? It will be good practice for the relationships I have after them.

“I need to start somewhere, and I’d like to make up for lost time.” A second later she added, “I appreciate you looking out for me but I am not a hatchling. I just… need practice dealing with ponies I haven’t imagined into existence.”

“Oh. Well, that’s good to know.” I said carefully, “I’m going to go back to keeping a look out.”

“I’ll get my spellbook so I can work on a spell I’m making on the deck. We can talk and the crew can get to know you.” Risky said to Connie before teleporting away.

“I need to get us back on course. Why don’t you sit down near the wheel and we can all talk together?” Ruby offered kindly.

“Okay! Can we talk about fire? Specifically, how flower combusts at the right suspension in the air causing an explosion? It’s one of my favorite things I haven’t gotten to see yet.” Connie said eagerly.

“How do you know about all of this stuff? Is it seriously divine revelation?” Ruby asked as they descended to the deck.

“A lot is, but other stuff is from books. They have a ton of neat things in them. I’m pretty sure that whatever it is if you take a look, it’s in a book!”

I turned to look off the port side and sighed. My mother was right. Life does get more complicated after you turn forty...

Genesis - 2nd of Snowfall, ‘09 EOH - Midnight

Of the few things in this world which fill my barely beating heart with fear, Rintham is the worst. It’s a place few willingly go. Not even the most powerful and insane of mages or the most bloodthirsty of warlords come here. Were my master not hiding the remainder of the Tribunal within it, I would stay a week's journey from here.

Rintham, a two mile deep crater in the earth, lined with obsidian as if lava flowed down its edges to pool at the bottom. It’s centered in an ash desert filled with petrified trees and animals, forever frozen in position as they fled in horror. You can find a pony or Griffon there from time to time, they always look more horrified than the animals. As if they knew something simpler beings could not when death came for them.

This was all one would see instantly when they arrived. There was more, far more deeply wrong with Rintham. The sort of things you wouldn’t notice without spending a while in the area.

There was never any wind, nor could pegasi coax them into existing anywhere in the desert. The sky was visibly gray, fading from blue at the edges to black in the very center. During the day the air is thick, oppressive, everything around you slowly blurring to indistinguishable dots of color as if you needed glasses. When night comes everything is crystal clear, but if you looked up the stars are mere pinpricks of light. Candles hanging in the sky.

During that same night if you listened closely, and all was quiet you start to think you hear things. A whisper, a faint cry for help, a lover’s voice, a faint snatch of a haunting melody. Yet the moment you try to listen for it, it’s gone. Never to be heard again.

That’s enough for the average creature to stay far from Rintham, but the magically sensitive species have even more in store for them. Every mage knows of the lay lines, free power for the tapping if you are close to one. Many also know ley lines cross and the junctions hold even more power. A few are aware of nodes, extremely rare places many ley lines converge, nexuses of pure arcane power.

Those who work magic who have set hoof in Rintham know that nodes can die. Seven ley lines run to the edge of the desert, none go through it. The center of the crater should have been a node, but instead, nothing. Magic is dead here.

In Rintham, no spell exists which is not cast by a mage or brought in from the outside. Even these sources of magic slowly wither away. Your spell fades too quickly, the magic in items you bring bleeds away. That is horrifying for a mage on it’s own, but something hooks into your mind as the magic is drained. Your magic isn’t being simply depleted, something is devouring it.

This includes the magic which holds my flesh together, which binds me to my phylactery, and animates my very body. There is no greater expression of my loyalty than to return to Rintham and report to my master. I do not believe anypony else would do so willingly. My counterparts had to be placed under a geas to return to our master’s home.

One would expect a castle, or a fortress to lie at the heart of Rintham. Instead there is a rotting wooden yurt surrounded by a sea of arcane junk. Depleted artifacts which once could have slain gods, the bones of a million great mages, countless arcane trinkets, mountains of ritual components. It looks like the home of a madpony, for that’s precisely what it is.

She was not the master I served directly when I was an agent of the Tribunal. She was the one they served. Madness is a two edged sword, for her it’s bane would have none take her seriously at face value. The rotting robes, the obsession with this place, her raving mannerisms…

All of these were meaningless, for she could weave plans so intricately and elaborately as to have been the one who created the group who safeguarded Equestria for three thousand years. Given time to find her mind she always had a solution in the form of occult wisdom, a cleverly brutal tactic, or impossible cunning. Every threat from outside its borders the Tribunal faced, we beat because of her. When my old masters were slain, I brought our remnants to serve her. The Mad Mare.

I didn’t regret it, despite the insanity of the past few years we were accomplishing many things. We had acquired the Book of the Dead. We had broken the curse upon us to never set hoof in Equestria again. We had infiltrated the Crystal Empire and Equestria. But most of all, most importantly, tonight we would win.

She promised us and end to evil. Once this final ritual was completed in full ‘No greater evil shall enter the world, then that which lies within.’ With no more evil able to enter the world, we could at least begin to destroy it and make headway. For tonight we restored my father to life.

The Mad Mare stood hunched over the very center of the crater, a small cauldron of molten arcanite floating at her side without any aura as a river of deep gray metal poured from its depths. The river of molten metal filled the channels carefully scraped into the crater's floor and walls over three thousand years. The massive thaumaturgic circuit was nearly finished, the final pound of metal poured out before my eyes.

She tipped the cauldron back, the last drop of metal splashing over the rim and joining the circle below. It was time.

“Silent. Order Imposed. That which speaks, that which controls. Chaos, resist.” The Mad Mare begged in her eerily young and tortured voice.

I nodded and watched as the iron bound tome floated seemingly of it’s own volition to her side. It opened to an exact page. On that page was the name of death herself.

The Mare stepped into the center of the circle. The dark night dimmed as the circle seemed to drink in the light, becoming a perfectly black scrolling, arcane pattern, within the brighter obsidian. I froze, this was not how active arcanite was supposed to look. Had I made an error? Was the ore not pure enough?

“Dusk’nyth Vhuzompha, y’sll'ha y’stell'bsna ah nog. Y'ai gotha n'gha li'hee.” She cried violently into the night.

The air hissed as it began to move, sucked down into the light drinking cracks of the circle. I felt the air around me grow cold. I shouldn’t have felt that. I shouldn't feel anything. I couldn’t feel anything!

I took a step back, fur on the back of my neck raising as terror built in my heart for the first time in decades.

The Mad Mare repeated her chant. “Dusk’nyth Vhuzompha, y’sll'ha y’stell'bsna ah nog. Y'ai gotha n'gha li'hee.”

The moonlight slowly faded, vanishing completely before flaring back as a bright, vibrant red.

I could feel my soul. It burned. I needed to flee, to run, I was nailed in place.

“Dusk’nyth Vhuzompha, y’sll'ha y’stell'bsna ah nog. Y'ai gotha n'gha li'hee. Uaaah!” she screeched.

The air in front of her twisted, contracted, folding into a faint white, pony like shape. A second ripple resolved into a scythe, held calmly at the figures side. It reached off to it’s side with a hoof, and grabbed something from the ether. A moment later and a pale orange dot glowed as a lit cigarette appeared in it’s lips.

“Hello. It’s been a while. I suppose you couldn’t make it even a few days longer?” Death asked in a sad tone.

“Dusk’nyth Vhuzompha, tharanak y’ah grah'n gnaiih hupadgh n'ghft!” The Mad Mare intoned.

“Not even another day? You had so much will power back then, there has to be a scrap left! Please?” Death pleaded.

“Gol-Grogar ah’gotha wgah'n shugg.” she continued.

Death’s eyes fell on me. I felt them burn through my very being as if her gaze was made of fire. To my surprise she smiled, “You aren't completely evil. Just mostly evil. I don’t suppose you’d stab her for me would you? Please? For the sake of your home? I don’t know what she promised you, but you should really just run her through before she-”

“Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Sombra H'dies wgah'nagl fhtagn!” The Mad Mare screamed.

“Fuck!” Death cursed. She spat her cigarette out. “Faust damn it! Now I have to resurrect him and the asshole is just going to do her bidding. Come on, stab her! Now! Go all apprentice unseats their master so the world will only have to deal with… your dad... Oh…”

Could I? Should I? Was that really for the best? I may be an honorable and loyal pony but if Death is saying to kill somepony… Should it be headed? No, my oath is my life. What have you if you do not even have your word?

Death’s ears drooped. “So be it. Sombra’s spirit is free, you may return him to life as you demand. Please unbind me now. This is pretty painful, and I know damn well she hate’s doing it. Bastard.”

“Zhro.” The Mad Mare whispered apologetically.

Death vanished, the air warping back into it’s normal state, save for a few white hairline cracks floating in the air, barely visible to the naked eye.

For an instant, I thought that would be it. The cracks would open and Sombra would step from the portal, then close. Nope.

She walked around the cracks, inspecting them carefully, robes fluttering as the spell circle pulled them towards it, as if trying to drag them in. For a moment I saw her face, younger than it should have been, yet worn from untold hardship. Thin peach colored cheeks clinging tightly to the bone beneath, a lock of pale yellow mane, the abyss for eyes.

Satisfied at the crack’s appearance she threw back her head and screamed. “Cynothoglys! Wgah'n ftaghu, goka ya'gotha lw'nafh Sombra n'gha'agl ah shugg ah n'ghft'agl, y'hah!”

The Mad Mare’s hoof plunged into the ground, sinking in as if the obsidian were water. The circle pulsed, the red light of the moon dimming as the circle drank in its light. From the center of the circle she pulled a dark, nearly black amethyst heart.

The heart pulsed, beating just as one of flesh would. The stumps of arteries atop it dripped inky blackness as she set it down in mid air. The heart beat once as her hoof left it, then the ground shook. It heaved upwards, cracks opening up in the ground as thirteen massive columns of black crystal erupted from within carefully positioned circles.

A thousand tormented screams filled the air as dozens of glowing lava-like forms resembling ghostly ponies were dragged legs first from each column. The tormented forms melted into ribbons of orange light before swirling around the beating gemstone heart.

A thick green mist bubbled up from the ground. I could feel it slowly eating away my hooves for a brief moment before it moved on, swirling around the center of the spell. The orange energy raced into the heart, the flow of inky black blood increased, becoming a thick stream.

It pooled on the ground, then slowly crawled upwards, hardening into a dark amethyst skeleton. Almost instantly after the bone formed the mist crawled up the limbs, thickening and hardening into a simulacrum of flesh, binding the bones together at their joints. A second later the darkness pulsed, leaping up and racing towards the skeletal form like a pet eager to see it’s master.

The darkness struck the skeletal form like a wave, clinging to it in the shape of a pony as it condensed forming a solid body. One I had never seen before, but one I recognized from his paintings. The dark, coal black fur, the purple aura burning around his eyes, the smooth swept horn colored as blood.

The melting orange shapes began to swirl around the columns, the green mist remained in bare threads waving across the ground, the circle burned a dark blue faint vapors raising into the the sky. Sombra’s eyes snapped open, the green and red orbs fixing on the sky immediately. He smiled, his gaze slowly lowering as he laughed. “Fools! When there is no more room in Tartarus, Sombra will walk the-”

His eyes took in the glowing shapes, columns of black crystal, and swirling green mist above the obsidian floor, and scrunched in confusion. “-other Tartarus… The hay?”

“Silence!” The Mad Mare barked, her voice deepening as it did each time her madness turned to genius.

Sombra turned with a snarl, which faded immediately. “I see. Very well, what task does my master have for me?”

“Two months east, within the Badlands of Equestria lies a city of glass and steel, guarded by a ghostly creature. Within the tallest tower lies a book of rules, and within this book the Spirit of Chaos has hidden Celestia’s half of the key. You will retrieve it and bring it here for my slave.” The Mad Mare ordered.

“As you command, but be warned, this third service ends my debt to you. Our contract is fulfilled. Hereafter you will need to barter for my services should you desire them.” Sombra replied in a surprisingly business-like tone.

“As we agreed, so shall it be.” The Mare agreed.

This was going to be awesome! I could spend time with him for the first time in my life. I’m certain he would approve of my power, the skills I had hones over-

“You, Magus, you must find the other half of the key.” The Mare informed.

Bucking Tartarus… “Where is it?”

“Travel to Zebraca, within the Great Library at it’s heart you will find Clover’s journal. Within it’s pages is a memory, bound there by Luna herself. Take it for your own and learn where she hid her half of the key. You may need to capture her, should she have safeguarded it in such way as to prevent others from retrieving it. Retrieve it and bring it here that we might finish what has begun.”

The Mad Mare shivered as if somepony slid a blade down her spine. For an instant the black abyss of her eyes vanished, two blue eyes locked onto mine, pleading, “Don’t… come… back…” She growled as if her jaw were wired shut.

The blackness returned like paper lit aflame. “-without the key.” she finished.

I nodded, “As you command.”

Perhaps there would be a moment to speak with my father before- He was nowhere to be seen. A trail led through the mist to the east. A sign he had already left with impossible speed. I closed my eyes for a moment, then turned and headed south. It was a long way to Zebrica.

Why is it when you accomplish something it’s never what you desire? Maybe I should have stabbed her… Or maybe I should do something a bit out of the bounds of my orders.

I turned east and ran with all the speed I could muster. I could catch up to him, I would. Within a few minutes I came along side him, a dark cloud moving along the ground as if flying, a pony’s form vaguely visible within the darkness.

“Father!” I called hoping for a warm response.

“Crotch spawn.” he greeted without any emotion whatsoever.

I blinked, falling behind a few paces in shock. He wasn’t glad to see me? That had to be a mistake. “I’m Genesis, you don’t know me but-”

“You are an abomination grown from part of my horn within the womb of a slave. An insult to my legacy and heritage in the form of an ordinary unicorn created from the flesh of the King of all Umbral Unicorns. You seek my approval? You do not have the foundation to gain such glory. While I admire the strength within your rotting flesh, it is wasted on a monster such as you.” He didn’t even look at me.

“I… but… your…” I sputtered.

“You seek some form of closure? Affection? I owe less than nothing to you. Had your creators not blasphemed my flesh I would have returned on my own and not have to follow my master’s bidding. If you were not required to fulfill a contract I forged long ago and must honor, I would leave your corpse rotting in a ditch and imprison your soul within a gem so I might torment you until my rage at your existence subsides.”

I couldn’t think of anything to say. I just stared at him, wondering if what I felt was sadness or the onset of death.

His eye moved, looking at me for an instant before moving back to the horizon. “That is an interesting cloak, is it felt?”

“No its lea-”

Sombra lifted a hoof and brushed the back of my cloak, exclaiming, “It is now! I’m just fucking with you. Tell you what, we finish picking up the key for old Gorgar then go split some foals, or a sandwich, or something else meaty. You know, catch up, maybe purge that disgusting Luminous Unicorn blood from you, and raze a village for dessert. It will be fun! Once we have uncle Grogar free I’ll see about setting you up in a kingdom somewhere nice. Now stop slacking off and get your half of the key. Be a good girl and kill something for me on the way!”

Sombra’s speed triple, blazing off into the distance faster than I could possibly have kept up. To say I was baffled was an understatement. It took me five minutes to realize something he had said.

“Wait, did he say ‘Free Grogar’?” I asked myself.

He had to mean so we could kill him. We were working to destroy evil weren't we? It made sense to kill the origin of it. Yes that’s what he had to mean. Right? Yes. It had to be.

I turned back south, uneasily walking to where my Dogs were camped. It would take a while to get enough soldiers to capture the Library of Zebrica.

Author's Note

I actually sat down and translated the Mad Mare's dialogue into R'ylehian. It took 2 days because no auto translation exists for it... Someone should get on that.

4 - Botch! & Death's Doom

Captain Ruby - 3rd of Snowfall, ‘09 EOH - Morning

You know something weird which you never think of but nonetheless is totally true? Dawn comes sooner the higher you are above sea level. See, the higher you are, the less of an angle the sun has to be for you to see it over the horizon, a neat little science fact.

Another interesting fact is despite the land below us being permanently locked in ice and snow, it was summer here. At more northern latitudes in the summer months, the sun comes up sooner. It’s really weird that it still works like that seeing as how there is a goddess controlling the sun which is in orbit, but I guess it comes down to my lack of knowledge in astrodynamics.

When taken together, these two facts meant that at precisely two in the morning a beam of sunlight lanced through my cabin window directly into my face. Blinking awake I stretched, stopping in confusion as my right hoof hit something warm and kinda squishy.

“Wha?” I yawned sleepily looking over to see a massive scaly flank filling my entire view.

“Ahhh!” I exclaimed in surprise, a split second later remembering Connie.

“Hi!” The massive half dragon announced, giving me a grin before turning back around, horns scratching the ceiling.

“Hey Ruby.” Risky said from somewhere beyond the wall of dragon. A sleepy yawn followed her greeting.

“Morning.” I groaned, popping my neck, heart pounding from the shock of waking to next to a dragon.

Speaking of Connie, even my cabin was too small for her. We had moved furniture just to get her a space to lay down. Which she had to because otherwise her head would hit the ceiling. Fortunately she loved ‘small’ spaces. Unfortunately if I wanted to see how Risky was doing I would need to climb over Connie.

“Hey Connie, I’m going to climb over you. Is that okay?” I asked, not wanting to make her angry.

“Sure! Risky been doing it all night! It’s super fun! You don't even need to ask.” She said way to chipperly for two in the morning.

I nodded and pulled myself up onto and over the flank sliding down the other side to see Risky still hunched over the spellbook she had been working in since noon yesterday. “Did you even sleep?” I asked in concern.

“No. Almost done.” She said slowly.

“‘Kay…” I yawned. “What about you? You seem like you had a good night sleep.”

“Yep! Whole thirty minutes. I’m feeling great! … Well pretty great. I just wish I could help with the spell more.” Connie said, swishing her tail and pushing a chair over. “Oops… Sorry!”

I shook my head, “We need to cast Create Demiplane or something. This room is too small for you.”

“I could hang out on the deck if I’m a problem.” she offered in a still happy tone.

I shook my head again. “No, the deck needs to be free of hazards. So ponies can get where they are going.”

“Done!” Risky announced loudly in the tone of a person who needed a pot of coffee administered via IV.

To my horror, she began to immediately start muttering a quick chant. “Whoa! Risky, you're tired! You shouldn’t be casting spells-”

“It’s a minus five to my roll. Bit whoop. I’ve got a plus twenty seven. Can't actually fail concentration check.” Risky said interrupting her own casting.

“You said ‘Bit whoop’ just now.” I pointed out.

“I did?” Risky asked staring at me for a few seconds before she turned back to her book. “Oh well. Gotta make sure this thing works. Then I’ll bed, okay?”

I suppose if she just made sure the spell worked that would be okay. I gave her a slow nod. “Alright. Go ahead. But if you think it’s going to flop stop okay?”

“Yeah sure, we should totally stop for that later.” Risky yawned.

She picked up the book, mumbled a few short phrases to herself then held one hoof up to the sky and blinked in confusion. “Oh! Right. The words. Say the words. Klaatu, barada, ni- um…”

Oh good! She stopped when she realized-

“Necktie?” She asked herself with a confused look.

“Um… maybe you should lay down.” Connie suggested moving her head down to look Risky in the eyes.

“Nectar? Nickle? It’s an n word. Definitely an n word.” Risky mumbled to herself, biting her lip to try and concentrate.

Oh dear sweet god! “Risky… stop…” I said slowly.

She rubbed a hoof to her chin in thought and muttered, “It was definitely an n word.”

“Risky…” Connie and I said together in one last attempt to get her attention.

Nothing. She kept staring at the page. We would have to put her into bed ourselves before she-

Risky shrugged, and intoned “Klaatu, barada,” and then coughed something into her hoof.

There was a distinct popping sound like someone stuck a pin in a tiny balloon. “God dammit Risky! I told you to go to bed but noooo!” Lucky’s voice-

“Wait, how am I hearing y-” I stopped mid sentence as I realized I was standing inside a tiny modern studio apartment.

With white walls, pine floor boards, a few nice carpets, paintings, furniture. This was someone's freaking house. “The fuck?”

“Ah shit… You idiot! You’ve stuffed her in here with me!” Lucky exclaimed shaking a hand at the ceiling.

She was just standing there. On two legs. As an anthro version of herself. “Why are you… Where… What?” I asked incoherently.

Lucky shook her head and flopped down onto a black leather couch. “This is what sis and I looked like before we came here. Seeing as how you’re sporting hands right now I guess you came from our world originally too.”

I looked down. Yep, hands. “You know, I never thought I would miss being a pony but now that I’m back in a body like this…” I shook my head slowly. “Okay. So. Looks like you don't take bodies with you- Oh son of a bitch she merged me with you guys!”

I sat down and groaned into my hands. That felt weird, leaning into my hands I mean. I guess I just had gotten way to used to being a pony. “Why is this an apartment?”

“I willed it to be one. The black nothing was depressing.” Lucky commented. I heard her move a few things then a click and a buzz. “Plus the TV I imagined up is an easy way to understand Risky’s senses. Looks like Connie’s scolding her pritty hard core…”

“Well, it’s good to know you are alive.” I said looking up and noticing the large TV screen on the far wall.

It had been forever since I just sat and watched something. Man it would be pretty awesome to sit and watch Star Wars or something. I wonder how many new movies they made?

Unfortunately it looked like this screen only showed what Risky was seeing. Which right now was Connie’s dragonish muzzle and pointy teeth. Which was honestly pretty damn terrifying.

“Hold on I’ll unmute it.” Lucky mentioned.

“I thought you were a skilled mage!” Connie shouted, “That was the single most irresponsible thing I have ever seen anypony do! … I mean I haven't seen many ponies do many things, but that is going to stay near the top of the list! You don’t cast a new spell to test it out on a person! You don't even cast it at all! You just let the energy collect and disburse and make sure it disburses-”

“It shouldn’t have done that! Being tired is a minus five! It should have been completely safe!” Risky protested.

Connie took a deep breath and asked, “You said your powers work like a game’s right?”

“Yeah.” Risky said angrily. “One I’m really good at!”

“It’s a roleplaying game right?” Connie asked in a strained tone.

“Yeah.” Risky said sounding confused, “What’s you poi-”

“Well than maybe you should try role playing and not just assume the game’s rules will guide you along as sure as things fall!” Connie exclaimed.

“Oh…” Risky said in a defeated tone. “Shit… right… It’s also reality…”

“Now, let’s get Ruby separated from you.” Connie said back in her normal fun loving tone.

Adorably, I could tell by her expression that her anger was completely gone. It was like someone flipped her angry switch.

“Heh… It’s like someone turned off her angry.” Lucky giggled. “I totally get why you like her sis.”

Risky’s voice filled my head.

“Yeah but you still like her. I can feel it.” Lucky teased, sticking her tongue out.

<... Yeah I do… Um if you can hear me Ruby I still like you.> Risky commented.

“It’s cool. Polyamory is fine with me.” I replied honestly, wondering if she could hear me. “Besides, she is pretty cute in behavior if intimidating in appearance.”

Risky exclaimed with relief. “Okay I can hear her. I’m going to try and reverse the spell.”

“No you’re not!” Connie said shaking her head firmly. “You’re sleepy. I’ll do it.”

“Okay.” Risky said with a yawn.

Suddenly Risky’s view changed, she was moving very quickly up and back! What-

“Put me down!” Risky protested wriggling and hitting the floor with a soft thump.

“I’m sorry! I just needed claw space. I didn't mean to upset you.” Connie apologized, ears drooping.

“You can't just pick someone up like that!” Risky protested.

“Yes I can. I just did.” the dragoness said giving her a confused look. “How tired are you?”

Huh… Once I was out of here I would have to ask her to pick me up. That honestly seemed kinda fun! I wonder if she could carry someone while flying. Sure I could fly but who doesn't want to ride a dragon? Maybe she could carry people up to the ship from the ground or drop crew off like paratroopers!

“Just get Ruby out…” Risky groaned.

Connie nodded and gently clasped her claws together in front of her and started to whisper a short prayer. “By the light of your mane, I ask you to aid me, and in so doing, remove this curse from my friend, and my cuter friend. Glory to your burnyness, amane.”

Then she giggled, “Hehe! That would be fun too!”

“I’m so sorry!” Lucky exclaimed with a sorrowful, but oddly amused expression.

“Why?” I begged as the apartment starting to fade away.

“I keep Detect Thoughts going just in case.” She admitted before bursting out laughing and falling off the couch.

“Crap…” I groaned as the apartment faded away to nothingness.

I blinked, and jumped as I was suddenly looking down at Ruby. Well I didn't jump exactly. I felt myself twitch in a weird way.

“Oops…” Connie said slowly. she thought.

Great! Now I was in the dragon mare… although, on the other hoof...

I shouted hoping she could hear my teasing tone.

“Oh no, I did something um… different.” Connie admitted with a giggle. “You should totally be able to hop off! I think. I should be more careful with that one…”

I wished I had a hoof to rest my face on.

“Nothing too bad… I just thought it would be cool to have someone else be a part of me while asking for that Miracle. Then I thought it would be neet to feel what being your gender would be like.” Connie said to me apologetically.

“Oh… my… god!” Risky exclaimed, jaw dropping as she looked towards Connie and I. An instant later she fell to the floor in a giggle fit.

I demanded half upset half afraid.

I felt Connie move a hind claw to scratch at- me? “Can you feel this?” She asked curiously.

Oh… Oh no… I groaned.

I really needed a hoof to smack into my forehead right now.

“Try getting off. You should turn back into you. I mean, that was part of the random fantasy… Sorry.” She said apologizing. she thought.

I pointed out. She was right though. It did feel nice, I was feeling, hearing, smelling, and seeing everything she was.

“Oh… Then um, not sorry, kinda aroused but wanted to spare your feelings.” She said honestly.

Admittedly, it was kinda fun riding along with someone, but-

“Ah ha! I can hear you too! You like it!” Connie accused playfully wiggling her hips.

I clarified.

“-y.” Suddenly I fell to the floor beneath Connie like a sack of potatoes.

“Ow!” I groaned as my muzzle banged into the floor.

Thanking the gods that Connie had been standing up as much as the room allowed, I crawled backwards out from under her tail, stood up on my four hooves, then walked over to where my hat lay on the floor next to Risky and put it on.

I was a pony again. Thank whatever gods were listening this extremely weird morning was over!

“So, new rule.” I informed giving both of them a disapproving look. “No one casts an untested spell or uses… Wait a damn moment did you cast Miracle?” I asked incredulously.

Connie nodded. “Yeah. I couldn’t think of anything else that would work.”

Risky snickered, “Polymorph Any Object might have worked… If you added in Bestow Curse!”

“We are not talking about that!” I exclaimed. Well maybe later if I was turned on and feeling really kinky, but otherwise no talking about- actually fuck it, “Except for why the hell you even thought of that! I need to know.”

Connie shrugged. “It seemed interesting, and Risky has someone as a part of her. I wanted to try it out. I didn’t mean to though. I promise I’ll be more careful to keep a clear head in the future.”

“More like weird.” Risky said with a laugh. “Also you totally have no room to reprimand me now.”

Connie nodded. “True. That would be hypocritical… Oh wait, everyone’s hypocritical.” She stuck her tongue out at Risky, it looked long enough to wrap around Risky’s waist. “Also weird is just a word ponies use when they don't have a well developed sense of intrigue and adventure.”

Huh. Now that was an interesting concept. No bad! Get back on your train of thought. “Right so, you… Man I wish we had that book! I could get you to write your level and abilities down for me.”

Risky yawned and took advantage of Connie’s half standing half crouching to trot under her and get into bed. “She’s at least seventeenth if she is throwing Miracle around.” A half second later she burst out laughing again. “Oh my god! Miracle isn't a spell, it’s a prayer! Her god was totally cool with doing that for her! Hahahaha!”

“Right, so, gods, clerics, and talking.” I said trying to get everyone back on track. Again.

“Huh, you’re right! Her burnyness must be pretty fun! I want to meet her even more now!” Connie giggled, swishing her tail happily.

“Son of a- Look it’s over! I thought of something import…” I groaned and began to cast the spell Dispel Magic, “Look! I’m going to be damn sure that every last trace of that spell is gone and then we need to see about talking to someone who knows what going on out there!”

I made a gesture with my hoof, cast the spell, there was a small pop, and I blinked. I found myself looking through Connie’s eyes.

“Where did she… Pfffff! HA!” Risky snorted, a loud thump and “Ow!” indicating she fell off the bed.

“Okay so, magic lets you be separate from me… That’s good to know.” Connie said slumping shyly down onto the ground. “Okay, so um, now I’m sorry.”

I could feel she meant it. I groaned.

I felt her lift her tail, willed myself to have a body and drooped to the floor, this time landing on my belly instead of my face.

“I swear… this world is conspiring to make my life as weird as it possibly can.” I groaned into the floorboards.

Connie scooted over and laid down next to me. “I’m seriously sorry… But It could be worse. If I had thought of you drifting through the void well… you know.”

That was a good point right there. “Very true.”

I sighed and grabbed my hat with a hoof. Slowly slipping it back on. “Can we please try casting commune to see if we can talk to the DMs now?”

“Oh! Sure!” Connie smiled before turning and giving me a gentle kiss on the top of my head. “Anything for somepony as close to me as you just wound up.”

Risky snickered. “Heh! Good one.”

Connie tilted her head in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“She liked your joke.” I said in a reserved tone, realizing I was going to forever be the butt of all jokes.

“Oh!” she smiled at me as she shook her head. “That wasn’t a joke. You just saw through my eyes, felt though my scales, and heard my innermost thoughts. I mean, I didn’t intend to subject you to that, but you did. Literally and figuratively speaking, two people can't get as close as we just did. That has to entitle you to some favorable treatment from me, right?”

Well, she had me there. I still wasn’t exactly happy about it, but well that was an interesting way of looking at a spell flop that went all Mareth on you. “You know, you’re right. I think I owe you the same. But um, no offense, I would rather not be that particular part of you again any time soon. Well… at least, not again this morning… It was an interesting experience.” I admitted with a nervous chuckle. Oh god it was too early for all this shit.

“None taken.” Connie said with a big grin, curling her tail around me in what I hoped wasn't the draconic gesture for ‘mine’. Then a split second later, I kinda did hope was the draconic gesture of ‘mine’.

“So, talk to them… Let's see, how did I do it last time?” Connie asked herself tapping a claw to her chin in thought.

Connie - 3rd of Snowfall, ‘09 EOH - Morning

So much awesome in one day! This was exactly how life was supposed to go. I could feel it deep in my heart. Things were supposed to happen, events were supposed to advance. Change, development, progress. The unexpected happening. It was beautiful.

There would be time to stop and reflect more later! Right now the adorable mare cuddled next to me wanted to talk to whatever the hay that chaosy guy was called.

I closed my eyes and focused on everything I had the last time I got through to someone. It was a lot easier now that I had an idea of what I was doing. In no time that weird buzzing sound filled the inside of my head.

“Okay! There’s the buzzing… So I should get someone in just a minute!” I announced.

“That’s nice… sleeping now…” Risky muttered as she lay on the floor next to the bed.

Sleep… she mentioned she had to snuggle someone to sleep. I gave Risky a glare out of the corner of my eye and pulled Ruby closer to my with my tail. Mine!

The buzzing continued for a while. Long enough for me to work out a way to get the message to be heard by people other than just me. So when the odd click sound came, it happened in the room not just my head, and a creature which looked like a fusion of a bunch of other creatures someone stitched together appeared as a ghostly image.

“Woah!” Ruby exclaimed, sitting up straight in my coiled tail.

“Um… hello?” he said curiously.

“Hi! I got on the ship like you said!” I informed happily, waving a hoof.

He didn’t react, I guess he couldn’t see us. That sucked. Stupid limited magic…

“Good! Um, why are you calling again?” He asked curiously.

“Because I think it’s time I knew what the hell is going on and what you want us to do.” Ruby said firmly.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.” he said shaking his head and sitting down on a wooden stool he seemed to pull from nowhere. “There are rules in play here. Mind you, rules are things I usually ignore, but I can’t this time. A very powerful spell is what we are using to guide you six and it has very precise requirements or it will stop working.”

“That is the single stupidest thing I have ever heard in my life!” Ruby exclaimed, climbing up on my tail to glare at the creature angrily.

“That does seem a little silly. Why would a god of chaos be bound by rules?” I asked.

He paused for a moment, tail lashing angrily for a moment. “I am quite aware of just how degrading it is for what I am to be constrained. But someone modified this spell after I set it up, and there was no time or available power to change it before we had to use it.

Just trust me, I can’t tell you what is going on because someone thought a spell which lets you control small areas of reality was too dangerous to leave without safeguards. Humph, I set it up so anypony can host a real live adventure for their friends and what does Moonbutt do? Throw up all kinds of ridiculous protections around it. Ingrate.”

Ruby groaned and slumped against my tail. She looked distressed. “Can you tell us anything?” She asked.

“No. I can’t. Nopony here can.” the creature insisted firmly.

“That’s- You guys are supposed to be DMing! You need to give a little direction! Since the fate of the world is at stake here how about some railroading? What can you do?” Ruby demanded.

“We can provide energy for your abilities and increased skill in your class’s prowess. Additionally we can try to figure out what is happening, and guide you through subtle hints. A planted though here, making sure you notice a certain thing there… If it were possible I would simply put a floating green arrow over the bow of your ship pointing to where you should go, but I can’t!” He insisted again.

“You can’t with your spell, but what about mine? I’m talking to you directly. Wouldn’t the spell you are using not allow that?” I asked curiously.

He shook his head and shrugged, revealing an odd device held against his ear with his paw. “No. It should have collapsed simply from me talking to you.”

“Is that… is that an iPhone?” Ruby asked, sounding completely baffled.

“No, it’s an iPink 5-” he stopped mid sentence and stroked his beard looking equally confused, “You can see me?”

“Yes. I’m projecting an image of you and your voice so Ruby can talk to you too.” I informed proudly.

“You shouldn’t be able to see me! Even by the original rules I conceived the DM is supposed to be outside of space and time relative to the players. This shouldn’t be happening!” His eyes widened then narrowed, “The only explanation is we are also players.”

“What?” A voice exclaimed faintly as if from another room.

“The other… We are not only DMs we are players in a larger game. Otherwise there is no way any magic could allow them to see me unless I wanted them to. Hear me, sure, see me no.” he stood up and started to pace around, stroking his beard thoughtfully.

“Since you’re not in the position you thought you were, can you tell me what to do now?” Ruby asked hopefully.

He shook his head. “No. If we are being played with there is only one person who could be doing it. If I simply tell you what to do, he can swoop in and kill us leaving you powerless in the past and unable to stop him. The only reason were alive now is because he likes to play with his victims… and because letting me set up this game has drained my power enough where I am no longer a threat! I hate it when I am out smarted!”

“It’s not hopeless,” a voice which sounded suspiciously like Lyra said faintly. “Phoenix built her city. We can make some changes, we might be able to win this still. If we play our cards under the table.”

The chaos spirit nodded, his eyes burning craftily, “That’s true… Alright Ruby, I can tell you some things, but not everything. I can't risk saying something which will get us killed. Would you like to know ‘Why me?’”

Ruby nodded quickly, eyes widening, “Yes! Please!”

He sat back down and steepled his talons and paw. “I insisted we pick twenty first century humans as our champions because of all the creatures in all the universes yours has a special blend of genius, tenacity, hope, and madness. As for the three of you, of everyone in range for us to take you had nothing to truly live for, and thus nothing to lose on what I knew was a one way trip as long as you had your friends. That special human brand of crazy, put it to use a bit more if you can.

“As for your quest… You are stopping the end of the world. Not too long from now, eight months at most, a very powerful and evil creature will break free from his prison and usher in an age of darkness. It is your job to try and stop it, your friends are currently set up to try and prevent some very important people from dying so there are still heroes to help save others in the future.

“We are guiding your actions from after the fact. So since Phoenix's city exists in your timeline, but not in ours, with every victory our knowledge of what happens and how we can prevent it gets less and less accurate. Our victories make our success less likely. This means a lot of it is up to you, so even if we could tell you that information is… not especially accurate.

“Seek knowledge of ancient evils from around the time I was ruling the world. The name's Discord H. Draconi, there might be a few books lying around still. There was a lot of ancient evils going around at the time. A literal plague of villains. Em, that may have been my fault. Anywho, one of them is responsible. That’s all I can tell you. Now I really need to go please don't call again.”

He took the device from his ear and tapped it. Instantly the ghostly image blinked out of existence in a way to white flash of light. I blinked my eyes a few times to clear them, when I opened them Ruby and I were surrounded by blackness filled with a million pinpricks of white light. It looked like we had teleported into the night sky!

“What!?” Ruby demanded angrily. “What the fuck killed us?”

“Huh?” I asked a hint of fear creeping into my voice.

“This is where I wound up when I died. Death! What the hell killed us?” Ruby called loudly.

“I did.” A pale white mare said as she simply faded into existence in front of us.

“Why?” I asked, confused, frightened, and sad.

“It’s okay, I’ll put you back in a little bit. We need to talk.” the white mare said as she conjured a small white cylinder and a silver thing that made a little flame!

“Ohhh! That’s so pretty!” I cooed leaning in to get a closer look as she lit the cylinder on fire and put it in her mouth as if to eat it.

I decided I liked her.

“So,” she said, sucking on the cylinder and making it’s smouldering end glow a very appealing shade of orange for a moment, “I’m probably going to be fired for this… But buck it. It’s my home universe, my home world, and my birth species. You hear me big guy? I know this is the universe in this set where evil is supposed to win! Screw that! I’m tired of watching my home die over and over with each cycle!”

Ruby jumped up onto my tail, “Shit! Do it quick before you get shot full of lightning or whatever!”

“The demon you are battling is named Grogar, a goat who through demonic pacts and dark magic became the source for all evil in this universe. Killing him won't stop evil, it will just disorganize it, which it means it won't win every time. He’s older than the universe, he’s lived for eight full cycles. It will take at least three cycles for another one like him to arise, so if you stop him you save four universes. Technically.” Death informed, exhaling a cloud of white smoke.

“What you need to do right now is go to Canterlot, the capital of Equestria, and get Princess Luna to come with you to the Library of Zebrica. Therein is a book, Luna’s old journal from before she became an alicorn. She embedded her memories of sealing away Grogar in Tartarus inside that book. You get it, she regains those memories, and she can then retrieve her half of the key to unseal the demon.”

“Why don’t we simply destroy the book?” Ruby asked.

“That will free the memory, and it will enter a random person. Since Genesis has been ordered to get the book and retrieve Luna’s key, it will probably go to her. There is a way to find the key without the book, but it’s difficult. So you need to have Luna retrieve her key, it has to be her, because of some enchantments she put up to guard the key. Genesis would likely resummon Nightmare Moon, which would possess Luna and then get the key for the forces of evil, you do not want to have to deal with Moon, Sombra, and Grogar at once.” Death warned.

“Whose Sombraro?” Ruby and I asked together.

“Dark lord type. Kinda funny, but totally evil.” she answered. “Once you have the key, try to get the other half, it’s hidden in the book Discord gave Taylor. If you fail, don't worry simply ensure your key winds up in the hooves of evil.”

“What? Why!” Kaily demanded loudly.

“There will be a brief period when Grogar is released in which he will be vulnerable to harm. It’s because he’s transitioning between layers, he has so much magic that it lags behind him a little bit, when he crosses you will have a quarter of an hour in which you might be able to kill him. Unfortunately, there is no other time in which he would be vulnerable. Trust me, I’d know.” Death sighed.

The space around us rumbled, as if an earthquake somehow was shaking the void.

“Right, he noticed I’m breaking a rule… Well either I’m dead or about to get severely punished.” Death waved a hoof at us, offering a smile as the void started to fade to white. “Don’t worry! He won't harm you two, make that you plurally singular nice soul binding by the way! You didn’t break any rules. Just me.”

A horrible soul stabbing screeching echoed off the nothing.

“Oh go buck yourself! I made a friend down there this cycle! Nothing but kind, friendly, and loving! She deserves a full lifetime.” Death said just before the whiteness vanished.

We were back in Ruby’s funly small cabin. Risky was asleep, kicking one hoof in the air every few seconds, the clouds floated by the big window at the back. “Well… that was… interesting.” I said to myself.

Ruby nodded and stood up, scrabbling over my back to get to the cabin door. She threw the door open and bellowed, “Pine! Canterlot, as quickly as this ship can go!”

“Aye aye captain!” Pine called from the sticky uppy shippy bit.

“Everypony! Combat drills, were going to have a lot of them!” she called a she stomped out onto the deck.

“Aww… but, cuddles!” I wined as I turned to wiggle out onto the deck myself.

“Cuddles later.” Ruby promised, “Get ready to fight god of all evil now.”

“Okay…” I sighed and started to worm my way out the door to help each the little ponies to fight. I did have plenty of experience after all.

Jump to top

5 - Changes and Challenges

Captain Ruby - 3rd of Snowfall, ‘09 EOH - Evening

Fourteen hours of trying to start a god damn montage. Fourteen hours right down the drain. What? I’d done it once before! It made sense to try to go all ‘forward the plot device!’ and cheat our way to the top. Especially because the local god of chaos asked me to try doing things the human way.

What? We cheat our way through everything. It’s the human way. When nature impedes us, we find any way around it. Hell, a town in Norway wanted a port but couldn’t have one because the wind was too strong. So they stopped the wind using giant concrete pillars.

Besides, Death her freaking self just said ‘by the way Cthulhu is gonna pop in for tea soon’. Fantasy novels are nice, but this is real fucking life! If someone says anything like that, and they are credible, you jump over the Godzilla Threshold and break out every single weapon you can. So excuse me for hoping I could use that weird musical number spell to crank out a shipload of Gokus.

Unfortunately, I was unable to get anything going. I even tried to use I’ll Make a Man Out of You but there was a pretty major cultural problem I had not expected. Stallions are not the ones expected to go into a dangerous occupation, so I should have gender swapped the song. I wound up having to explain I was from a different place. One where females were considered the valuable ones.

I didn’t tell the entire truth. My new identity was growing on me. I mean, I had power, respect, and affection as this me. Old me had a pretty crap life with one bright spot which I honestly feel was more gray than white. I didn’t want to compromise that.

During training we had realized just how completely terrifying Connie was in a fight. After promising to ‘go at ten percent’ she had immediately broken every single bone in her sparring partner on the first punch. Yes, punch. A punch which had been kinetically amplified via innate magics of dragonkind, and delivered an overpressure wave on impact, along with a wave of heat which scorched fur on everypony within ten feet!

Fortunately, Lapis Vein hadn’t been too upset, at least not after Connie healed her and apologized. However, it was decided then and there that Connie would help verbally, not physically. Lapis was lucky three of her shipmates managed to catch her as she went ballistic. That mare would have Team Rocketed onto a suborbital trajectory!

This naturally led me to a question. “Connie, what the hell is your dad guarding that warrants you being made that powerful to protect it?”

She blushed, something which I expected her scales would have made impossible. Cutely, the blush manifested as a bunch more of the little freckle like marks she had on her nose and cheeks. “Er- well… I actually can’t tell you. I wasn’t told what it is exactly. I do know it’s a shrine to Faust built back in the Paleopony period when she still walked the world.”

“So it’s something the mythical creator god made which is powerful enough to warrant a falcon punch equipped dragon to protect, and not cluing her in on what it is for the sake of safety?” I asked wondering if we could maybe turn around and use that to our advantage.

“She’s not a myth!” one of my crew, a teal maned dark brown super short mare, called from the rigging.

I turned to look at her, giving her a curious look. What was her name? Right, Duskglider. “She isn’t?”

“No. There’s museums and stuff where you can see artifacts she used, tons of books… She lived until sometime in, like, the 1360s CE. There’s plenty of historical evidence. So you know, probably shouldn’t call her mythical in case she really did transcend material existence.” Duskglider warned returning to her work.

Connie nodded, “My dad actually met her. So yeah, she’s real. Or at least, was real. Either way, you shouldn’t try to take advantage of the Shrine. I’m not going back there and you couldn't beat dad if you tried. Besides, I’m pretty sure only mom and I know how to actually kill him. He’s sorta nearly invulnerable.”

“Holy shit, why did you not tell me this sooner? We need to get him to help fight Grogar then!” I demanded giving her an upset glare.

“Because he can't leave the mountain. At all. Ever. That’s why I didn’t finish the stupid ritual.” Connie said with a sigh.

Damn. So much for the Eragon approach. “Ah. Sorry.”

“It’s okay that was a good idea since you didn’t know… We should probably just stick to Death’s plan though.” she mused scratching her chin with a claw.

“Oh hell no!” I objected, stamping my hoof, “We will do the initial approach but when that portal opens we are going to have every single scrap of firepower ready to doom canon the entire place into quark-gluon plasma! We should swing by Pheonix’s and see if she can whip up a batch of zerglings to try a rush with.”

“That is, the worst idea in the history of ideas!” Lyra exclaimed having overheard me from across the deck.

She zipped over and grabbed me by the shoulders eyes wide in a half panic. “No zerglings! Bad Ruby!”

I wiggled free of her grip, “First, how do you know about Starcraft, second… Yeah okay that’s probably a bad idea, but an army in a can would be great right now!”

“Because I didn’t grow up in this world either and I didn’t live under a rock!” Lyra said sounding relieved. “On a related note… could this Phoenix you mentioned actually make zerg?”

I thought about that for a few minutes. “Probably.” I concluded with a small nod.

“Would she? Because that’s almost as bad as some Daedric Princess popping up.” Lyra asked with a frown.

I shrugged my shoulders, rearing up in the process. “You know, I can’t say for sure. She might. I… honestly don’t know her well enough to predict her behavior. I know she likes to troll people though so if she did make a zergling it would probably be a sex pet or some shit like that.”

Then Lyra’s wording hit me, “Don’t you mean Daedric Prince?”

She shook her head and gave me a confused look. “Um, no. The title’s Princess.”

My Elder Scrolls fangirl went critical, but I managed to beat her back down after a few moments of holding in the rant of a thousand angry nerds. “Different universe Ruby, different universe.”

“Ruby’s right though Connie, we definitely need to send everything we can at the daemon when it shows up.” Lyra sighed. “Too bad this isn’t the EDF Argo.”

“What?” I demanded, eyes narrowing. The Elder Scrolls thing I could let go but that…

Lyra smiled transitioning to bubbly fangirl, “It’s a ship from an old anime, an on the water ship is made into a spaceship in a desperate attempt to save the world from alien-”

“That, is the Space Battleship Yamato!” I exclaimed pointing an accusing hoof. “And you will use her proper name!”

Lyra beamed me a grin that should have been impossible. “Ah-ha! I knew you were a nerd under that trumped up captain’s coat!”

“That was an order gunnery chief!” I humphed. Lyra laughed, sitting down on the deck with a grin.

Speaking of my coat, it was pretty sweaty. I’d had it on all day while training and making sure everypony was running drills. It felt a bit damp in places… Ugh, why hadn’t I taken this off sooner?

I unbuttoned the coat and slipped it off, folding it over one arm as I looked around for a sunny spot to hang it to dry.

“Huh, so that’s what your cutiemark is.” Lyra said, in unison with Duskglide and Connie.

“You guys haven't seen it?” I asked curiously. How the heck didn’t they-

“No, you always have that coat on.” Lyra said simply. “I thought it would be an instrument or something bard related.”

What? “It’s a songbook, how is that not bard related?” I asked in confusion.

“How the hay do you see a songbook in that?” Duskglide demanded in confusion, her eyes dilating into confused little pinpricks.

“Maybe it’s a hoof holding a book up sideways in front of the sun?” Connie guessed.

“Seconded.” Lyra said tilting her head. “Because, that’s a circle with a Greek letter.”

“What the fuck are you talking ab-AH!” I yelped as I turned my head and saw the freaking half-life logo stamped on my flank.

“The fuck? This is not what it was!” I exclaimed in a full blown panic.

“That’s impossible, cutiemarks don’t change.” Lyra said firmly. An odd look crossed her face. “Unless… Hold still please!”

Her horn lit up and her golden aura engulfed me. It felt warm, also a bit intrudey. I don't know how to explain it better than that.

“Huh… Well, my scan spell say’s you’re a third pony, a third something else, and one third Dragon. Also the Dragon is very new… Is that… did you… Celestia’s mane! You bound your soul to Connie? How? Why?” Lyra demanded in the tone of an upset medical professional.

Connie giggled like a teenager in an erotic cake store. “Well um there was an accident with a spell Risky tried, and I undid it with a powerful spell, but I had a stray thought and long story short… We’re linked.”

Lyra facehooved. “There are metaphysical consequences for both parties in a soul binding! Connie’s magic is probably strong enough to resist most of the changes but you… Ruby, you just changed on a basic fundamental level! Most unicorns consider soulbinding as killing both parties and forging two new people! I mean, it doesn't really but…

“Well look, your cutiemark changed, your special talent logically changed with it, and you’re probably going to have a few draconic instincts floating around your head now! I… I’m going to have to explain basic magical theory to you!” she finished with an angry hoof thrust in my direction.

My talent changed? My talent changed! “Oh fuck all kinds of duck! Are you serious that my talent changed?”

“Yes! Your cutiemark is a physical manifestation of the talent you received as well as a manifestation of your psyche to a small extent!” She hissed. “I believe you mentioned your powers were your special talent! Do you understand what you just did?”

Fuck! I held out a hoof and focused as hard as I could on summoning an instrument. A moment passed, than a minute. I cubed as hard as I could focus, hoping anything would manifest itself. “Come on magic… I’ll settle for a vuvuzela!”

Another minute. Nothing. Fucking nothing!

“This is bullshit! I cast Dispel Magic minutes after the accident!” I cursed throwing my hooves into the air in exasperation.

I yelped as Connie picked me up by scooping one claw under me, and pulled me into a one armed hug. “Hey, it will be fine… besides I can cast that, so that means you can probably cast spells I know. Try one.” She set me down gently next to the side of the ship.

“Even if I can, we just lost a lot of firepower! And not just for battle, I could have diplomacied our way right into wherever we needed to be!” I lamented angrily.

I paced the deck for a few minutes. Nopony bothered me. I guess I was putting off too much of an angry aura.

“What the hell is my talent now?” I groaned after a while. “Maybe I got a different class!”

Lyra bit her lip thoughtfully for a moment then stood up strait and announced, “Try to calm down and just let your magic flow! You will either float, bend shadows, or do whatever your talent is.”

That seemed like sane advice. “Okay.” I said as I sat down to do my best to clear my head and forget that I probably just fucked the entire planet right into an early grave.

I closed my eyes, focused on my breathing, and listened to my heartbeat. This wasn’t the first time I had tried to calm myself with meditation. It had been a regular occurrence back at the gas station. One, two. In, out. No thoughts, only breathing.

I could feel my magic, it wasn’t the original magic I had. It was different, less diverse, more focused. I supposed to let if flow, you just sort of reach for it. So I did.

Something slammed into the deck in front of me with a sound like an arrow hitting a log! I jumped backwards out of reflex, Connie caught me before I fell over the side. Jammed into the deck a foot from where I had been sitting was a crowbar.

It was a simple red hexical handled crowbar, with silver ends, and a small black painted label with ‘SkyTech Ind.’ written on the flat. Rather than assume I had the magic power to summon crowbars, I looked up. Nothing was floating above us, so nopony could have dropped it.

“Well… It’s not the weirdest talent I’ve seen.” Lyra mused.

Curiously, I held out my hoof and focused again, letting my magic just kinda flow as I had before. Wood creaked, splintered, and cracked as the crowbar ripped free and flew into my hoof’s grip.

No! Fucking! Way!

“Okay then.” I said wiggling out of Connie’s grip and dropping to the deck. “Stand clear while I try something.”

Lyra stepped to the side. I swung the crowbar at a bit of iron railing, it smashed through it with a loud twang of snapping metal. I threw the crowbar at my cabin’s wall. The crowbar flew like a god damn rocket, smashed into and through the wall in one motion, and made a second hole as it came back to my hoof like fucking Mjolnir!

“How the bucking hay did somepony boomerang a crowbar like that?!” Risky’s voice demanded incredulously from within the cabin.

Stunned, I stared at the crowbar and said, “Apparently whosoever holds this crowbar, if she be worthy, shall possess the power of Freeman!”

“What’s that mean?” Lyra and Duskglide asked in confusion.

“It means I am perfectly okay with this!” I laughed.

Maybe what Discord had said wasn't just a ‘plan like a crazy person’ request. Maybe he had sensed my powers had changed. Maybe he knew I would need some of that human thinking to make up for the lack of powers. A lack of powers I had been granted.

This, on the other hoof, was apparently a power of my own. Something I got myself. A something that was apparently summoning a magic crowbar. A fresh start, no hands guiding me anymore, just me, my mind, my crew, and the fuck mothering Mjolbar!

“Right… So… Today has been another one of those ‘my life drastically changes days. I’m going to go into my cabin, get Risky to use Mending on those holes, and try to plan a way to get an audience with and actually convince whoever Princess Luna is of our mission and why she needs to help.” I informed as I tucked Mjolbar under one of my wings for safe keeping.

Yes. That’s what I’m calling it. Shut up! It’s apt as balls.

“Hey! Are you trying to contact Princess Luna?” Pine called from the crowsnest.

Man she has hearing like a hawk! “Yeah! Why?”

“We should have passed over the Equestrian border about an hour ago. It’s said the Princess can visit your dreams if you sleep under the light of the moon. If you fall asleep and focus on trying to talk to her, she might show up. It could save us time and we could meet her in Zebraca.” Pine informed.

Huh. Neat! I nodded. “Alright, that’s worth a shot.”

Luna Solarus - 3rd of Snowfall, ‘09 EOH - Night

“My time as the Nightmare notwithstanding, I have always been the guardian of Equestria’s peace. Even before I was a Princess, my heart, soul, and spear protected these ponies from the monsters that lurk in the darkness. Darkness none with sight know as well as I.

“True fear is knowing nothing about the world which you can no touch, smell, or hear. There are a thousand monsters in the Everfree alone which move silently through the shadows. I was born to a world without light, not knowing what ponies meant by ‘color’ or ‘I see it’.

“Yet even before Clover’s spell gave me my horn and sight for the first time in my life I was a protector. I was a humble guard, not a hero, a silent guardian, a watchful protector, a dark knight.”

I turned my head, fixing my gaze on Bonbon’s eyes, “Which is why I deserve the last slice of pizza.”

“Oh yeah?” The cream mare exclaimed, not breaking our staring contest. “I once had to climb to the top of Mount Spurr, bared hooved, in the snow, vertical ascent, both ways, with a pregnant wife at home! Just to get a Roc feather for Twilight’s spell making. She accidentally lost it, so I had to go get another one, only to come back and find out she made the first one into a quill without realizing it, and I never complained once!”

Curses! I couldn’t top a double mission for twilight while my love carried another couple's surrogate foal. Especially not one involving that particular mountain. Foiled again.

“Very well, you win this boasting match. The pizza is yours.” My ears drooped in disappointment.

“Damn right it is!” Bonbon said pulling the final slice of delicious jalapeno and onion cheesy goodness over to her place at the table.

I’ll get you next time, pizza. Next time!

“Okay,” Vinyl sighed, “now that that’s over, can we get back to the adventure?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure the villagers have an idea about where the Ironclad might be.” Lyra said in a tone indicating she was eager to get on with our game.

“Apologies, there was food to be had, and I am bigger than all of you! I need more.” I said playfully.

Meep raised an eyebrow at me from across the table. “”All of you’? You’re only bigger than me if we count horn height.”

I returned the young changeling Queen’s eyebrow raise. “Or if we go by total volume Skinnybug. Besides, you have plenty to feast upon this evening.”

“Eh, point taken.” She said with a smile.

“Girls… gaming please?” Colegate said, her wheelchair creaking as she moved it closer to the table with her magic.

“Sorry.” I apologized, ears drooping in embarrassment. “Let’s see… I was… Ah yes! I look for the chieftain! Streetwise is a… nineteen.”

One thing few ponies know about me is my great love for strategy games. This Oubliettes and Ogres my friends had introduced to me years ago was most satisfying. The rules felt intuitive to me, it left plenty of room open for thinking on your hooves, and it was best played with friends.

Before I had decided to follow Tia’s example and form a small elite Knight Order for myself, I had no idea her saying ‘Friendship is Magic’ was more than a literal arcane truth. I thought she simply meant the close emotional bonds amplified the magic of everypony involved. Yet, the figurative truth in those words is just as true as the literal interpretation.

Sitting in my study playing games with Lyra, Bonbon, Colegate, Vinyl, Octavia, and Meep was the single best way I could think to spend an evening. I am glad I gave them the chance to become my friends instead of simply keeping them on as an elite unit of guards. Easily the best decision of the last two thousand years. My heart no longer yearned for company.

I had picked them out of all possible ponies simply because our records showed the six of them helped during the Canterlot Invasion, showing diverse skills and great team work. The group had also had a few other adventures over the years, not as many as Twilight and her friends, but still, more than enough to prove competent adventurers.

The fact they were all friends and loved strategy games as much as I had been an unexpected delightful bonus. Even better was after asking them what they meant by a plus five broadsword they had invited me to play. Me. Invited. To do something. As a friend! To my embarrassment, they had a giggle fit at my involuntarily happy dance.

Aside from my love of those sorts of games, and the fact I invite friends over for gaming nights on Fridays, there is one other thing few ponies know about me. It involves my dream walking ability, and is what has permitted me to be such an excellent guardian for all of these years. When the moon is in the sky and bathing the ground in it’s light, I need not close my eyes to see into the dreams of the ponies in Equestria.

I can walk, talk, fight, and everything else I may need to do all the while also existing in the Dreamscape, performing my duties there equally well. Effectively, I am in two places at once. While that sounds like it would be a strain on a pony’s mind, I have gotten most proficient at it over the thousands of years I have had to hone the skill.

Even as I helped my friends negotiate a trade deal with a fictional village, I drove nightmares back from a half dozen foal’s dreams. The night was silent for the most part, nopony was considerably afraid, so I had only to drive away the darkness which crept into my little ponies dreams. As well as listen for those who would plot against others in their sleep, so we could ensure they would not harm others in their waking hours by letting them know they would be watched.

Through the relative quiet, a voice called out to me. “Let’s see… um… Luna, Princess of the Equestrians, your knights shall have a quest to make an example in these dark times… Oh fuck it! She’s not listening, this is stupid!”

Heh! It was always fun when somepony tried to summon me into a dream. I usually didn’t notice for at least a half hour. I also normally did not enter a dream someone wished me to. More often than not they simply wished to meet me and did not need help. They could simply make an appointment to see me, so I let their dreams slip by.

This pony on the other hoof, had a touch of desperation and urgency in her voice. Which warranted at the very least, a quick look. I turned and walked towards the dream, entering it through the curtain of consciousness which separates the dreaming mind from the Dreamscape.

The dream I found myself in was very boring. It was just space, only without the nice artistic illusions I had created in place. What sort of pony dreams of the night sky without my hoof’s touch?

Sitting on an asteroid was a dark purple furred, pink spiky maned batpony, and also a small though fully grown fiery orange dragoness. They occupied the same exact spot, inherently linked together as one in time and space. This mare had somehow soulbound herself to a dragon. Quite the feat for somepony without magic of her own.

“I hear you now my little pony. The night is still, but darkness lurks within dreams even on the most peaceful of nights. What have you called me here?” I asked politely.

“Oooo! You’re an alicorn!” The Dragon cooed excitedly. “Do you know which one of you is in charge of fire?”

At the same exact time the pony exclaimed, “Finally! I have terrible news you absolutely need to hear!”

“There is not yet a Princess of Fire, though with two Alicorns appearing in the last fifteen years, it is likely we shall have more soon.” I said to the dragon, who clearly was not the one trying to contact me.

Her ears drooped sadly. “Awww… why does nopony know? I know she’s real.”

Filing that bit of information away to check on later, I turned my attention to the pony. I did not have time to mess around tonight. With Sombra loose I might need to defend the Dreamscape at any moment from a rush of evil like we had back in the old days.

My horn’s glow lit up the pony and dragon as I cast a truth spell upon them both. “Nether of you can lie, tell me what you wish me to know and I shall listen.”

“Oh thank god!” The pony exclaimed, “I was wondering how I would get you to believe me! Grogar is going to break free from Tartarus soon and-”

“WHAT!?” I exclaimed both in the dream and in reality. My face growing pale with terror.

My friends gave me a concerned look.

Vinyl cleared her throat, “He only short changed you three copper Luna.”

“No not that! Quiet!” I hissed turning my full attention to the dreamscape.

“Yeah, I know.” The pony said. “Ancient eldritch evil. He’s going to break loose soon-”

“What is your source on this? Did you see first hoof signs of his return?” I demanded.

“Death told us.” she said matter of factly.

Ponyfeathers. “Truly?” I pleaded, hoping she was jesting.

“You just cast a truth spell on us.” The dragon said sounding quite confused.

“I know. It’s called vain hope.” I sighed. “Nopony alive knows how to seal him away, nor is there any known method for slaying him. I had hoped whoever sealed him in Tartarus all those years ago would have left instructions on-”

“You totally did.” The mare said quickly. “Death said your old journal in the Library of Zebraca has a memory sealed in it of your half of how you banished him… I um… didn’t think that meant you wouldn’t remember sealing him away at all.”

“I sealed him away?” I asked thinking back through the years searching for anything which might help me remember.

“According to death yeah. You and your sister. We need you to come to the library, get those memories, and then get your half of the key.” she informed.

“Why?” I asked. “If I hid a part of something to release Grogar from Tartarus it would not be something another could ever reach. I could also see myself removing the memory so I myself could not be made to free him by mind control or coercion. As such I believe your claim I sealed him away, but I-”

“Death says during the first fifteen minutes he is on this plane he will be vulnerable to harm.” she informed, making my heart skip a beat in hopes we had a chance. “If we hit him hard and fast we can kill him. She also said that one of my enemies is after your half of they key and is capable of getting it. We need to replace Grogar on our own terms so we can be in position to attack.”

“Are you mad?” I demanded, again both in reality and the dream.

“Oh! She’s talking to somepony in a dream!” Octavia exclaimed.

Everypony around the table made satisfied knowing sounds.

“Um, maybe? I don't know.” the mare answered.

“Yep! I was trapped in a tiny box for millennia. No way I’m totally sane.” the dragon quipped playfully. “At least I’m more fun for it though!”

The pony gave me a serious look as she continued. “Death herself-”

“Death’s a mare? I always thought Death was a stallion.” I mused out loud to myself, trying to calm my fears.

I wondered if she was a normal looking pony, or if she was just a female skeleton in some robes. If so were they sexy robes? How would you know Death was female otherwise? Voice? Did she not have a mystical booming voice? Was it just a random female one? Was she cute? This just led to so many questions!

The pony rolled her eyes. “She’s a she, and also a bit of a dick, but apparently the self sacrificing type. Anyways, she said that we could kill him then, and she’s freaking death. I’m pretty damn sure she knows when and how you kill something.”

I refocused my attention. “So, you need me to retrieve my half of the key, so we can safeguard it, and later replace Grogar ourselves when we have the might readied to slay him.” I repeated to be sure I understood perfectly.

“That’s about it yeah.” the dragon replied.

“You are absolutely certain the key is not safe wherever I have hidden it?” I asked.

She nodded. “Yes. Death said so. I’m pretty sure that’s a perfectly credible source.”

Tar and brimstone! There was only one thing to do. “Then we shall retrieve the key. I assume you are willing to help stop Grogar, a dragon will be of much assistance. What resources have you other than yourselves?”

The mare grinned, “A flying battleship with a full crew of forty mares armed to the teeth.”

“Are you a skypirate?” I asked slightly amused.

“Well, not yet technically. I stole this ship with a friend from some pirates but well, no actual piracy has been committed under my command of her.” She answered with a nervous chuckle.

“A pity.” I bemoaned, “One airship is nice but the entire pirate fleet of the Eastern Sea would be much better. What is your name my little pony?”

“Captain Stolen Ruby of the USS Enterprise.” Ruby informed.

“I’m Connie um- of the… Fiery Bits. Yeah!” Connie giggled.

I couldn’t help but smile. It was so adorable to see a dragon who acted like a young adult pony.

On the other hoof, why the buck is every fifth ship or so named the Enterprise? Oh yes, you’ve called your ship a business, how very clever of you. “Well then Captain, sail your ship to the town of Ponyville. My knights and I shall board your ship there and we will retrieve the key together.”

Ruby nodded, “Alright. I’m sure my navigator knows where that is. Why there? Why not Canterlot?”

“Because it’s probably not a good idea to let the peasants know Grogar is returning shortly after announcing Sombra returned again. I can’t help but believe those groups are linked.” I answered with a heavy sigh. “Also my Knights live in Ponyville, so we can board your vessel discreetly whenever you arrive.”

“Sounds good. I’ll see you then… So do I just like hang up, stop talking, or what?” She asked.

I gave her a halfhearted smile. “I go. If you can, enjoy your dream. You will be lucid until you wake.”

I left the Dreamscape, and turned my full attention to reality. I stood up from the table with a long sigh and gave my friends my most serious expression. “Girls, we have a job to do.”

Jump to top

6 - Pet the Morality Pony

Genesis - 12th of Snowfall - Morning

“Halt!” I shouted, throwing a hoof up in the air to stop the column of troops behind me.

A clattering of armor, grunts of irritation, weapons striking weapons. Imbeciles, all of them. Foals would do a better job at most things!

The sea lay before me, and between the expanse of water and myself was the towering walls of Spur. The city of Spur was a nice little place, remarkable for a city state this close to Neighpon, especially one with a booming trade port. In any case it was good they had not yet taken her, otherwise securing passage to Zebraca would be impossible.

I turned to my regrettable second in command to give him an order. “Greyhound, keep the dogs here, behind the tree line. Nohound is to move until I come back.”

“We could walk to zebra place, yes?” Greyhound asked irritably. Dogs do not like the sea.

“If we had half a year, yes we could. But my father is expected to retrieve his half of the key within two months. We can not return later than he will.” I informed for the fifth time.

“We could take the Dragon’s teleport.” Grayhound objected. Again, for the fifth time.

I sighed, my breath pooling inside my mask. “Sure, why not? Let’s do it! I’ll expect you to bring me the head of the nearest dragon at dawn so we can use their network unhindered. Oh and of course you will clear the other dragon on the other side of the link too. I believe you and your hounds are most definitely suited to fight two grown dragons at the minimum, back to back.”

What was it about covert operations these mutts could not understand? The Library of Zebraca was one of the most well fortified places in the world. They had troops, advanced weaponry, lots of arcane support… It would be a mess to assault if they knew you were coming. Yet no matter how many times I informed these dolts of my strategy they insisted on trying to just burn a path a mile wide to the damn fortress!

Grayhound was silent for a few minutes, his brain probably burning from the effort of thinking up his response. “You could fight the dragons, then we could go through.”

“I could fight a dragon. One.” I chided. “Then, I would need to wait a day to use my avatar again, by which time we would be attacked by… Just sit in the trees and keep your hounds quiet.”

“We don’t want to go across the sea!” Grayhound shouted ears laying back in anger, white furred muzzle dampened with spit.

“Too bad, because I say we are taking a ship to Zebraca. I may not be able to fight more than one dragon, but I could easily fight all of you.” I warned. “What do you want, to die here, or to be paid later?”

I glared at him through my mask. He glared back. I let a few tendrils of dark magic drift from my eyes, he growled and lurched back towards the tree line. I kept glaring for a few more moments, just in case he turned around to throw a weapon.

It was both pathetic and awe inspiring how controlling a single one of those beasts allowed me to control the entire band of eight thousand. If they had any real magic at their disposal, or were seasoned troops, I could probably have just taken the city and looted a ship. Even so that wouldn’t be right, they had done nothing wrong as far as I knew. I pulled my hood low over my head, turned around and marched for the gate.

I hated entering civilized places. Even with my Somepony Else’s Problem spell preventing the casual observer from noticing me, towns were still painful. Everywhere I looked, peace, prosperity, love, friendship, kindness, everything I was never allowed to have, everything I was sworn to protect.

I didn’t choose to stand on the edge of civilization and ward it from the abyss. Yes, my blood formed my signature on the contract, yes I had given an oath of allegiance, but so had everypony else I had ever known. No other options had ever been presented.

We grew up in a single room, a bed, a foot locker. We never knew our parents, most of us didn’t even have those in the first place. We just awoke one morning, already grown, laying on a bed. A cloaked and masked pony the only one besides us we saw. ‘Welcome, you will protect this land from evil. Here’s your armor, it’s time to learn the arcane arts.’

The two guards who stood watch outside the city gates had a nice job. A pegasus and a small minotaur, diligently standing armed and armored to ensure no evil passed by. As I walked past them I couldn’t help but feel jealous.

They grew up in what they chose to protect, this city with it’s beautiful Romane inspired architecture fashioned from polished limestone and brass, was their home. They wanted to keep it safe. My home was a gray stone room beneath the earth, nothing worth protecting, nothing like Spur.

It was like this for every town I had to go to. The streets were filled with merchants calling out for people to buy their wares, foals played in the streets, running among the carts and crowds, young couples gossiped about those around them. It was wonderful, this sort of life was worth protecting with the swift justice I was trained to use, that was certainly true. It would have been nice if I could ever have been, or be a part of it.

Thank Faust I only had to find somepony who could rent a large ship. It wouldn’t be like the time I had to bunk in Manehatten for three months. I could just find the harbormaster, secure a ship, arrange a pick up point for my ‘mercenary band’ and be on my way.

The sea was to the south, so logically all I had to do was follow the streets southwards to the docks district and -

“Did you hear about Furlong?” a affluently dressed peach and green unicorn mare asked me.

I stopped in my tracks. My spell should have made me totally invisible to anyone who was not… Ah, she must be looking for somepony to gossip with. Given my clothing’s embellishments, I might be mistaken for a noble myself.

“No I have not. Do excuse my mask, there was a delightful costume party this dawn.” I replied, doing my best to sound like the usual stick up the plot noble.

She nodded, “Jubilee's Winter Welcome? I trust it must have been nice.”

“Quite. Now, what’s this about Furlong?” I replied automatically. Lucky break with there actually having been a party this morning.

“Dreadful business that. The entire village was slaughtered, and I say that only because it’s the most appropriate word for the completely barbaric manner the villagers were killed. I don’t know where we will get mead for the winter now.” she leaned in towards me to whisper, I had to resist the urge to throw lightning at her and run. “They say the remains were cursed, and the rescue party was transformed into monstrous creatures. The entire village was profaned and covered in dark crystals.”

“That’s terrible!” I exclaimed, gritting my teeth behind my mask. “Tell me, where is Furlong from here? I mean, should the city guard be on alert?”

“Oh it’s to the north east, about a week's journey. It all happened on the fifth.” she answered. “I believe we are quite safe, after all His Majesty's court mage should be able to spot anything that evil coming hours in advance.”

Was that a threat? That sounded like a threat… “It’s good to know somepony here can keep an eye out for evils like that. I would hate to see anything happen to our fair city.” I said looking off towards where I believed the docks to be.

“Do you have business to take care of?” the mare asked me curiously.

“Yes, I forgot to check on a shipment for my husband last night and I really should take care of it before he returns home this evening. I’m afraid I must be going.” I informed giving her a polite bow.

“Oh, well I’ll let you go then. Just one thing, I couldn’t help but notice you have a rather powerful aura, you must be something of a mage. His Highness recovered an artifact from Furlong which seems to be what cursed the rescuers. You should go to the palace when you can and see if you can't determine what it is. There is a rather substantial reward.”

Oh ponyfeathers! I mentally checked my spells to be sure my aura was disguised properly, and sighed in relief as it looked to be nothing but light magic and normal unicorn signatures. “Er- That sounds like a good idea. I’ll be sure to drop in and help as soon as I can. Have a good day miss.”

“You too darling.” The mare said waving a hoof as I resumed my course for the docks.

Bucking hell. This was bad. That was no random mare, that had to be part of the city’s clandestine service. If she was well trained enough she would know I was masking my aura. She had managed to spot me despite being cloaked because she was watching for suspicious people…

I began to move more quickly, winding through the streets into an ally heading south and downhill. I needed to get this over with as quickly as possible. Spur was a big city, if she had reported me, I could still find passage and leave before the guards could be alerted and find me. I could get out of this without major conflict and continue the operation undetected.

I hadn’t noticed her cast any spells but here were ways to mask casting. She could have seen through my disguise. The next nearest port was a full hundred miles away, if I backed out now I would be delayed at least two weeks trying to get my inept army to march overland that far.

I stopped dead in my tracks. Dark crystals, profaned, slaughter, north east by about a week, on the fifth. “No…” I whispered.

It couldn’t be. It mustn't be! Yet it had to be. The rescuers became monsters, that screamed necromancy, and the only powerful necromancer for a thousand leagues was my father.

There had to be a reason, right? Perhaps they were plotting to- No, a farming village with a meadery wouldn’t have any real military or arcane power. He’d killed them. All of them. Why? That was not our-

“Faust no…” I moaned.

He wasn’t one of us. He had never been one of us! How had I been so blind as to miss such a basic fact? Sombra had never belonged to the Tribunal, he was free agent. Our ideals, our goals, our morals, he did not share them. He had sought out dark magic, necromancy, and a thousand more arts on his own for his own ends, and I had aided in restoring him to life!

The blood of Furlong was on my hooves. They were covered in more blood than I could remember, but never before had truly innocent blood been upon them. This was entirely my fault!

Or was it? The Mad Mare would have brought him back without my help, it merely would have taken longer. If anything I was only guilty of accelerating things. This was still a terrible thing, but the fault was not solely mine.

I wish I could say I had been tricked, but no, I had known what we were doing. I simply had not realized the truth of it. I owned at the least, a third of the horrors my father had wrought, that much was on my shoulders. The question was, what could I do about it?

Like any warrior, I needed to properly assess the situation. I had made a grievous error, and assisted an ally of my former commander in doing exactly the sort of thing I had been made to stop. Because of this, a powerful evil force had entered the world and was tasked with acquiring an item to free a greater evil. Given the nature of my father, and his words to me, this was not so we could then kill that evil. Therefore, I had to stop it, yet my father was well beyond my capacity to kill.

The proper and direct approach therefore was not an option. Meaning only thing I could do was ensure no one recovered the half of the key I was sent to retrieve. I would have to find it as I had previously planned, and if possible destroy it, or otherwise render it unusable.

That left only what to do about the evils my father had unleashed. I could not stop him, but perhaps I could repair some of the damage. I couldn’t however walk into the palace and simply tell them what was going on. That would result in battle, I would be delayed and likely lose my opportunity to acquire the key. The greater of two evils must always be slain first.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a filly. She was hunched between two rotting baskets on the side of the ally, resting in a sorta-kinda tent made by the slumped baskets. I knew everything wasn’t sunshine and rainbows in towns no matter how nice they look, and this young filly most certainly did too.

She was so covered in mud and dirt I couldn’t tell what color her fur was, or even see what he mane or tail were like. She just looked like a big ball of brown, black, and bits of straw. It took me a few moments to realize those bumps on her back were wings thanks to all of that gunk.

“Atonement starts small.” I muttered to myself, recalling an old saying I heard once.

I walked over to the filly, took a few small gems from my pocket, and dropped them in front of her with my magic. “Here. Get something to eat.”

She looked up at me with nutbrown eyes. The same shade as my eyes before they turned red. Her whole face parted in a smile so wide it cracked the mud. “Thanks! Miss...Mister…Mask?”

“Miss.” I shook my head and trotted off down the alley.

I had just rounded the corner when I heard a voice taunt, “Hey Earth Cloud, still being an Earth Clod?”

There was a quick rustle of read basket on stone and another voice exclaimed, “Whoa! She just hid an emerald under that heap!”

“Go away!” the filly, Earth Cloud I presumed, wined in a defeated tone.

Mother bucking ponyfeathers! Seriously? No way in tartarus was some piss ant little shit going to mess up the first bloodless nice thing I had done for somepony! I turned around and moved back around the corner just in time to see a red unicorn colt about twice Earth’s age levitate her baskets up and snatch the gems I’d given her.

The other bully was also a unicorn, and also red. Presumably brothers. He was currently occupied laughing at Earth as she crawled forward to try and snatch one of the emeralds as his brother tucked them into a saddlebag. For the life of me I couldn’t understand why Earth didn't get up and punch one of the brats across the muzzle.

Oh that’s why, she didn’t have rear legs. Wait, these red furred little pukes were robbing a cripple? A below the knee amputee cripple? Who was clearly homeless? I narrowed my eyes in anger. Urge to kill... rising!

This sort of behavior is not tolerable. Their age was no excuse, I was honor bound to correct the situation with extreme prejudice. It would be a delight!

As I walked forwards, readying a paralyzing spell the two unicorns began to leave. “Give the gems back. You have five seconds.” I shouted down the alley, letting my cloak’s hood pull back enough to show my mask in full.

“Oh yeah? Who's going to make us?” the one who had taken the gems rebuked, “My daddy owns the whole dist-eep!”

I could taste their fear as their eyes widened in terror. That’s right you little shit. Glowing eyes and dark magic radiating from a horn at the end of an ally is far more terrifying in reality than your darkest nightmare.

“Four.” I announced taking a step closer.

“You should probably give those back now.” Earth said smugly and surprisingly enough, totally unafraid.

“Three.” I warned.

“Okay! Here take them!” The colt squeaked, tossing the gems at Earth and bolting down the alley.

I grabbed him by the neck with my magic and pulled him back to her side, turning him around slowly. “Pick them up.”

He gulped and picked them up again.

“Gently hand them back to her.” I ordered, maintaining my deathly serious tone.

He gurgled something, my magic gripping him too tightly to speak. Earth took the gems in her left hoof and stuffed them back under her rotting basket. “Thank you.” She said, both to me and oddly enough the little brat.

“You aren't afraid of me,” I said looking at Earth curiously, “that’s quite rare. Would you like to help me decide how to punish this criminal? He’s quite young, death might be a touch extreme but if you think it’s fair…”

She gave me a curious look, “You’re like a witch right?”

“Sort of. Why?” I asked, truly curious.

“Cuz he’s really mean, but you shouldn’t kill him. Cuz then he won't learn any lesson. You could curse him though right?” she asked in a way I honestly found adorable, also oddly logically.

I nodded. “I can. I suppose you are right. A harsh lesson might show this waste of a soul the right path in life. He is still young enough to change… Does he harm you a lot? What seems fair to you? I could rip his legs off to show him what it’s like to be you.”

Earth’s ears drooped sadly, “Aww… you’re an evil witch?”

I shook my head, that wasn't… I wasn't… How best to put it for a foal? “No. I’m a witch with no tolerance for evil who isn’t above giving evildoers a taste of their own medicine, only three orders of magnitude more potent than they dish it out.”

The colt gurgled more in my grip and started to kick. Earth’s ears perked back up, “Oh! Okay! Then you should make it so he cant eat except like, once a week. That’s what he does to me… Oh! And somepony should eat food in front of him every day he doesn't get anything to eat and laugh at him. That’s what would be fair.”

“As you wish.” I agreed with a slight nod.

I readied an appropriate hex, the ally flashed purple and black as I delivered the spell. A second flash lit the alley as I layered a second, harder to detect spell which would renew the curse a few hours after anypony removed it. With that I dropped the cold to the cobblestones with a dull thud.

“You’re lucky she’s nice.” I said to the colt as he lay gasping for air.

I turned my attention back to the filly. I had an important question for her. “Why aren’t you afraid of me?”

“You helped me, bad guys don't help ponies, and every superhero has a mask, right?” She asked before shaking her head, “Well… no I mean, Supermane doesn't have a mask because she has those magic glasses.”

I felt my jaw drop under my mask. How dumb was this filly? “You honestly think I’m a superhero?”

She shook her head as the colt scrabbled to his hooves and bolted off. “No. I mean, you said you were gonna kill him, so your um… not a villain, cuz you helped me… but um… Oh! Like the Pun-neigh-sher! Only with less puns. You know, a grown up superhero!”

“I honestly don’t know what your talking about. I guess I’ll be complemented.” I chuckled, letting the dark magic fade from my horn and eyes.

“Besides, you totally have powers! Like super advanced magic. Like Princess Twilight!” Earth exclaimed.

How the bucking hell did some filly three thousand miles from Equestria even know-

“I have her first issue! It’s awesome! I wish she was real because she would… um… do what you just did…” she gasped in shock and gave me a deep incredulous stare.

I couldn’t help but laugh, “I’m not Twilight! But I did talk to her once. I didn’t know somepony made a comic of her.”

Her ears dropped so hard she flicked a bit of mud off them revealing a bit of white fur on one ear and a bit of light brown on the other. “Awww… wait you said you talked to- Oh my gosh! I knew she was real!”

That heartstring pulling bright grin of her’s was back. It quite literally hurt. Could feeling an emotion hurt? Was that a thing? “Yeah, she’s real. She’s one of the rulers of Eq-”

“Equestria!” was all I picked up before she launched off into a three minute rapid fire rant about well, everything.

“-Oh my gosh! Imagine of Rainbow taught me how to do a Sonic Rainb-eep!” Earth suddenly hunkered down onto the ground, wings moving to cover her eyes, but not yet big enough to even begin to move far enough.

“You didn’t even move from the spot you assaulted a foal… Heh.” An old stallion’s voice chided from behind me.

I sighed and turned around slowly. Sure enough, there was the same spy from earlier, a pair of fullplate clad guards with enchanted halberds, and an especially old looking stallion whose fur and beard was probably gray with age and not naturally so colored.

I rolled my eyes. This would be cake, but completely blow my plans out of the water. Bucking tartarus. “Old timer, the kid deserved it for robbing a crippled orphan. I presume you are here to do something about it, and I am going to have to advise you-” the old gray furred unicorn’s aura was so powerful, it might have leaked into the visible spectrum a little, and every single bit of it was refined with age I couldn’t even begin to fathom. “-oh… Well that’s just not fair at all.”

“I’m sorry,” The obviously thousands of years old wizard mock apologized. “I don’t give a buck.”

There was a flash, a thunderclap, and I felt the sensation of dying as I dropped to the cobblestones.

Genesis - 12th of Snowfall - Sunset

Darkness. Stillness. Nothingness. No thought. No self. Only the Abyss.

Stars exploded, a thousand different colored lights popped and flashed, pain, everywhere, cold smooth rock under me. Systems check… Magic’s doing good, armor’s still on, eyes still exploding, ears ringing, touch feels like somepony’s electrocuting me. Yep, that happened.

Vision slowly cleared, white marble altar, no cloth, laying on it like a bed, outside, mask lying in front of me. I felt my spine twist back together. It wasn’t pleasant. The old bastard had almost done it, the last time it hurt this bad was when my commander killed me himself to show me what the worst would feel like.

Smell came back like somepony lighting a candle. Salty air, recently burned incense. I was outside, on an alter, with all my gear. Huh. Last time I was caught in a city they just set me on fire.

I dragged one hoof to reach for my mask. I felt the porcelain underhoof, but I couldn’t grip it. My manipulator nodes were still reforming I guess. The real question was how the buck did they get it off?

My ears twitched, rotating in the direction of a startled gasp. “You’re alive? I knew it! I told them if you want to kill a witch you have to set her on fire, but they didn’t listen and did this whole silly blessing thing and you’re okay!”

Ow… sound… high pitched. I swiveled the only eye which was responding towards the sound. Oh, right. Tiny pony. What’s her name… She better have got herself a Faust damned sandwich!

I turned my head slowly, looking at her in the same manner one looks at a chimp screaming into a megaphone. “Ever… had… hangover?” I asked in a raspy tone. Buck… no wonder I hurt, he knocked the Equinity right out of me.

The filly nodded, ears drooping. “Once. I thought it was punch that went bad.”

“Undeath… like… morning… after… barrel… Tequila.” I managed to rasp while slowly getting my right hoof to move so I could rifle through my pockets.

“Oh. Sorry! I’ll be quiet.” She hunkered down on the little wooden bench I just noticed she was laying on. “Wait, undeath? You’re a zombie?”

“Not… exactly… ow…” Somepony in Spur a few miles away in my line of sight lit a candle or something. It hurt.

My hoof found the pouch I was looking for. Unfortunately, the buckle was a thing, and this hoof wasn’t ready to grip things either. “Bucking… damn… it.”

What’s-her-face’s ears perked. The somehow still muddy filly asked in a much more polite whispery voice, “Do you need help opening that?”

So it would seem. “Yes.”

She slid off of the bench and pulled herself over to the edge of the alter. A few moments of scrabbling later and she managed to prop herself up on her stumps by leaning against the marble surface, stretch one hoof up and open my pouch. “You’re lucky they didn’t take your stuff. The big wizard guy said it might be cursed so they should leave you and everything here overnight before doing anything.”

Oh that’s why she still looked muddy! She was cloud white and mud brown in a calico pattern, with a flat, spiky black mane and tail. “Heh… I get it… Earth… Cloud…”

She blinked in confusion before smiling, “Oh! Right! I named myself. You know, I look like dirt and clouds so… yeah! What’s your name?”

I felt my right hoof tingle. I could grab things again. I reached into the pouch, grabbed a small piece of black quartz, lifted it up as much as I could, and set it on the alter’s surface. Remembering I would need a second one, I set another beside it. “Okay… I need help. How about… you… help me. Then I… help you.” I asked.

“Um, okay. But I’m doing fine.” Earth said, pulling herself up to look at the crystals more closely. “What do you need?”

“Are my swords under… cloak?” I asked.

“Um…” Earth looked around, slid back down to the floor, crawled out of sight, and came back a moment later with a stick which she used to push the edge of my cloak up with. “Yep!”

My heart did that hurting thing again. “Take… middle one and put it… on floor.”

It took her a full ten minutes to climb onto the altar and retrieve my blade. I hoped I would have regenerated enough to do it myself by then, but something was slowing my recovery to a crawl. Probably whatever Vengeful Hoof of Faust type spell that old bastard hit me with. But after a heroic amount of effort on Earth’s part, my estoc clattered to the stone floor below.

“Good job. Now… the red ribbon around the… blade’s… fort… unwind it, then get some… kindling… I need… ritual spell…” I said as simply as I could manage.

As I watched the filly scoot about and painstakingly gather small bits of burnables, I couldn’t help but wonder what in Tartarus I had done to earn such respect that a cripple would drag herself across the ground for me. It made absolutely no sense. I couldn’t even comprehend- Buck it I had to ask. “Why… are you helping… me?”

“Because you helped me. Nopony else is ever nice to me. And your face is all burnt, so you’re a cripple too! I mean, that’s not good but you well… you know get it. Also you did something about Spark and Hearth.” Earth dropped a stick atop the pile of cloth, wood, and paper she had got together. “Is this enough?”

I nodded in response, deciding to try and understand her reasons later. “Yeah. Stick sword… point first… in pile.”

She hefted the blade in her hooves, and wrestled it into position. Working it to the proper angle with my guidance. When she had finished, I had her stand back, focused my will on the magic in my blade and my mind, and the pile erupted into dull red flames.

I crushed the first crystal underhoof and tossed the dust into the fire. Immediately the pain stopped, my eyes adjusted to the light, and the feeling of fishhooks in my brain faded away. I crushed the second crystal and tossed it in. The fire sparked, popped, and I felt new flesh run down my body, restoring me to proper life, though not quite healing my injuries.

“Okay. Now that I’m properly alive again, let’s get you something nice.” I said, standing up and climbing off the alter.

I reached under my cloak, took out the small wooden box I kept my things in, retrieved my flask and set it in the fire. It would take a while to absorb the magic and fill, and since I was going to be stuck in the chapel at a graveyard anyways, I might as well make use of that.

“So… your legs. How did you loose them?” I asked looking over Earth’s hind quarters critically. If she had been injured it happened a long time ago, there were no obvious scars.

She shrugged. “I dont know. I dont think I ever had any.”

“Nopony got you a wheelchair?” I asked.

She shook her head. “I don't have adults.”

“You mean parents?” I asked curiously.

“Is that what you call grownups who take care of you?” Earth asked in the same tone of somepony asking if that was the proper name of a specific type of spoon.

Ow! That feeling. Like the opposite of hate. Stop it heart, you dick!

I stood up and lifted Earth onto my back with my magic. “Come on, let’s find the grave of somepony your age.”

“What? Why?” she asked as I trotted out of the chapple’s entry arch.

“So we can dig it up and use the bones as part of an undead graft so I can get you some legs.” I informed. I didn’t have any spells which could restore severed limbs which had never existed in the first place.

“Um… won’t somepony be mad about that?” Earth asked.

“Maybe, but who cares? It’s not like the dead are using their legs.” I pointed out. “How old are you?”

“I don't know… Um… Fourteen?” she answered. “Can we ask permission first?”

I blinked and turned to look at her on my back. “You want me to summon up the spirit of a dead foal just so you can ask if it’s okay for you to have their skeleton’s hind legs?”

“Yeah.” She said looking a bit concerned.

Faust damn that stupid big eye triggered heart squeezing feeling!

“Nnn… okay.” I conceded.

Three hours, fifteen summons, and an impressive amount of exasperation later, I finally found one. Seconds after the young unicorn’s ghost had said ‘Um, okay. Sure. I guess.’ I dismissed it, dug the old bones up, threw the entire skeleton into my bag and taken Earth back up to the chapel.

It wouldn’t be a simple operation to perform the graft. As a pegasus Earth would reject the unicorn bone over time unless I grafted enough of it in place, meaning I would have to replace half of her skeleton with the unicorns. A little voice told me it wasn’t a good idea to tell her that, so I simply told her I would get started and hit her with the strongest sleep spell I had.

It wasn't the first graft I had performed, but it was the second. This was a good deal more complicated than attaching wings to an earth pony comrade too. I lost track of time as I cut, removed, inserted, and arcanely bound bone together.

When I was done, the poor filly was a real mess, but her chest still heaved. She was alive. Which was pretty impressive in my opinion. The insertion of that much dead tissue into her body should have killed her. I was pretty happy she didn’t end up like me. Maybe that’s what happened if you got a spirit's permission to use it’s remains. You didn’t get sudden onset undeath.

Her injuries were easily enough treated. I retrieved my flash from the fire and simply dropped the amber manna infused liquid into each wound. Her flesh knit itself shut as if it had never been cut, and the bare bones of her knew legs had muscle and skin twist down their length in a few seconds. Fur should grow over them in a week or two at most.

When I was done I took a sip from the flask myself, irked that I had used all of it in my work aside from a few drops. Fortunately that seemed to get rid of almost all of the pain I was in. After putting all of my things away and putting out the fire, I gently shook Earth awake. “Hey, come on. Get up. You’re all better now.”

Earth rolled onto her side and angrily batted at me with a hoof while murmuring a little sleepy “Noooo…”

Ah! Okay, that time actually literally hurt! Didn’t feel so bad now though.

I couldn’t just leave her, but I couldn’t stay here either. Odds were pretty good that Spur’s guards were searching the area, which mean they had already found my Dogs and likely driven them off. They thought I was dead, otherwise guards would be here.

My forces could not be rallied because I couldn’t spend time here. I would have to make for Zebraca myself and work out a way to get what I needed enroute. Perhaps I could recruit some local mercenaries.

That was a question for the future. The question for now was what do I do with the homeless orphan I had just grafted half a unicorn to? I winced, realizing she could develop complications from that graft and wouldn’t be able to get help on her own. I would have to take her with me or I would be causing her unneeded cruelty.

I lifted my mask off the altar and slipped it on, immediately comforted by the lack of wind and cool porcelain on the scars that was my face. Then I checked my gear, picked up Earth and set her on my back, and began walking along the coast heading east.

Jump to top

1 - Through the fire and the flames, we fight on!

Genesis - 2nd of Leaffall, ‘09 EoH

When Faust molded the world to her desires she left one part of its face cold and lifeless. The northlands are naught but cold, ice, and death as far as any eye can see. From the steppes of Cervidia to the tundra of the Griffon Kingdom, the icy planes of the Crystal Empire, and the frosty forests of Drake, all the northland is naught but death.

Despite this, despite the lack of food, the cold, the monstrous creatures, ponies still lived here. The village of Farriar sprawled out before me in the typical lackluster way thestrals built their towns. Winding mazes of streets, buildings placed with no thought of defense or logic, the only things which mattered were their mine and their foundry. You could tell simply by looking at their village.

Crumbling wooden structures, walls patched with blocks of ice, buildings built from rubble cemented together with more ice. Only their mine’s entrance, smithy, and foundry were built with any care for aesthetic architecture. Their buildings were not even camouflaged to blend into the edge of the dormant volcano they mined. It was just there, open for all of its squalor to see.

The real shame was the village shouldn’t have been poor. This was one of the Griffon Kingdom’s secondary port towns. Plenty of trade came through this armpit of a village. All the gold went to line the pockets of the noble who owned it. His pockets would be much lighter soon.

“Greyhound, ready your soldiers. We march in five minutes.” I ordered, my voice raspier than it had been a month ago. Curse that pink abomination’s lucky shot.

If our organization could spare anypony of my power, I would have been executed for allowing that much Arcanite from falling into enemy hooves. Fortunately, our spies had found a second source, this pathetic village. Fortunately for me, my father was at last recovering from his defeat. My masters did not dare slay me for fear of angering him.

I had a second chance, a rare thing for a Tribunal agent to have. I would not squander this opportunity, this time I would not use up all of my spells enjoying myself. There were still bigger fish in the sea.

Fear, chaos, pandemonium, these were more potent weapons then the crude melee tools my hundred dogs carried. I fixed my eyes on the village’s smelter, a massive fire blazed beneath the vats of molten metal. I had it on good authority the Arcaneite was kept within the mine itself. It was safe to enact my plan.

I pushed all my magic to my horn. I could feel the dark magic blazing within me like the roaring flames I beheld. “Erupt.” I ordered.

The smelter exploded, a torrent of brilliant red flames shot a mile into the sky and molten metal rained from the heavens. I could taste the villager’s fear even from the side of the volcano as the steel rain shattered homes, fire trailing in the wake of surprise death. Within seconds the village was a glow of orange along a sea of white.

I turned my head, grimacing as my mask slipped from the moment. There hadn’t been time to properly attach it to my face. Feeling the porcelain move across my skin was… unsettling.

“Encircle the village. Slay anything which resists. When we have a line, and only when we have a line, move for the mine. I will retrieve the…” I blinked, completely unsure of what I was seeing.

On the horizon, seemingly above the water, was a warship. It’s apparent flight had to be a trick of the light and water, but I knew of no marriage which would produce such an illusion. Some sailors must have spotted the fire, they could come and help. This complicated things.

“Does anyone else see a ship out to sea?” I asked.

The braying of the Dogs rang in my ears as if they were filled with bees. A hundred voices all saying a different version of yes all slightly out of synch. What I wouldn't have given to be issued three other Magus for this mission.

“Right, new plan. All of you proceed as planned but more expediently, Grayhound, take your elites and secure the Arcaneite. I will hold off the crew of that ship. We will meet back at last night’s camp before returning to base. Understood?”

Again, the braying assaulted my ears. Again, their answer was yes.

“Charge!” I ordered, thrusting a hoof towards the village

Lyra Heartstrings - 2nd of Leaffall, ‘09 EoH

“This is more like it!” I exclaimed in delight as I threw a blazing crossbeam into a group of Diamond Dogs charging down the road.

I had grown up in the single most boring reality, somehow certain our world held gates to a land of adventure where everyone was a cute pony with cool powers. I was totally right, except over the last seven years the adventure part had been pretty lame.

A dog raised a crossbow. He fired. I dodged left, the quarrel zipped past my flank with a hiss. I fired a bolt of green magic. It streaked through the air, missing the Dog as he ducked behind a wall. I grinned and turned down an alleyway, resuming my sprint home.

At last, proper adventure! I had arrived far to the south in a place called Ponyville. They had proper adventures there quite frequently. They also had a crazy purple alicorn who insisted on returning me to my home dimension. Also this universe's me lived there, and I mistook her Bon-bon for my Bon-bon. So I ran north to this boring armpit of a village.

The building to my right exploded in a fireball. A visible rippling wave of heat blasted outwards, carrying the scent of scorched fur and charred meat. Somepony hadn’t made it out of that blaze. As fun as this was, there were real consequences for every moment of delay. I could make a real difference. I could save lives. I could be a hero. I just had to get home!

A dog leaped from the shadows, blocking the alley in front of me. I formed a wedge shaped shield with my magic, put all the speed I could into my hooves and charged. There was a crunch, a scream, a sharp pinch at the base of my horn, and the Dog went flying.

There weren't many unicorns this far north. I had to learn my magic from a few old textbooks, the few scattered mages I could find, and the methods the batponies here used to enchant their wares. I had made a nice, if boring, life here. The villagers could make items which would be magic, but they couldn’t perform the magic to give them the spark needed to work. I made a great living providing the spark of life to everypony’s inventions.

I could see my home now, a small two story stone and ice cylindrical building. It was surrounded by fire, but was not yet aflame. Prefect! My life’s work was in there. I simply needed to cross the docks and get them.

All around me ponies fled, buckets of water dropped in their panic, rolling about the docks. The Dogs had come from nowhere. Nopony knew how they did it but they had some how caused the smelter to explode. With the city ablaze our militia hadn’t noticed their approach. There had been no warning.

A few of the miners were holding a loose line at the square in front of the docks. Pickaxes rang against armor, blades clashed, screams punctuated the roar of the flames. I was behind the Dogs. Excellent!

I ran out into the middle of the docs, spun on my hooves, leveled my horn and fired a barrage of bolts. The crackling green balls of magic slammed into the Dogs. They howled, dropping to the ground. One of the miners gave me a wave of thanks before turning to run to the next fight.

“Wait! They are just stunned! Finish them off!” I shouted over the roar of the fires before resuming my run.

Ever since the Polar Bear attack three years ago, everypony in town had spent at least three months a year training with the town militia. The Dogs were pushing us back but were having a hard time of it. I knew exactly what would make up the difference. It was in my workshop.

My house was only a few steps in front of me when a flash of light and thunderclap lit the whole area around me, whiting out the orange glow of the flames. I turned to look over my shoulder, dreading some form of artillery. It was way worse, but in a way better.

Standing just before the docks, looking off into the setting sun was a unicorn, clad from head to hoof in black leather armor and a matching cloak decorated with silver runes. Black and purple energy crackled around her, left overs from a teleport spell which melted the snow from the cobblestones for twenty feet around her. A featureless porcelain mask covered her face, a red ruby set at the base of her horn.

Only dark mages dressed like that. This meant the Dogs were not here just raiding, they were here for something, or maybe somepony. They had an objective goal besides killing us all. They could be stopped! You know, if the dark magic possessing obviously evil death mage could be stopped.

I threw my door open, bolted inside, and slammed the door shut with my magic. I turned the corner, ducked around the tapestry on the wall, skidded around the second corner and shoulder checked my workshop’s door open. There she was, right on the workbench where I had left her, freshly cleaned from her first test run last weekend.

I’m an arcane-engineer, say so right on my flank in two golden ancient Latigo runes. One reads ‘magic’, the other ‘machine’. My special talent was solving practical problems. For instance, how could I stop bimonthly raids from burning my home to the ground?

The answer is a gun. Not just any gun, a five barreled, polished brass and chrome, arcane powered Gatling gun. It burned quartz crystals charged with unicorn magic to fire pink ribbons of magic death at a rate of one crystal per three hundred shots. That’s one crystal every five seconds. It takes me a week to charge enough crystals to fire for a whole minute. I call her Gretta.

She’s the one link left to my former life. One crazy, over blown, totally Amareican death machine for the sake of making your enemies crap themselves and run. What? A mare’s allowed to keep one reminder of her favorite video game when she moves to another universe.

I snatched Gretta’s harness from the table and slipped it over my shoulders and barrel. I hefted Gretta in my magic, reared up onto my hind hooves, clipped her into place on the harness, fastening the brass buckles as quickly as I could. I could smell my home beginning to catch fire.

I ran a hoof over Gretta’s brass barrels to make sure they spun freely. It took my hooves, the harness, and my magic to keep her held up so I could shoot. But there was still more to go.

I snatched my safety cloak from its peg on the wall and fastened the brown canvas cloak around my shoulders. The protection spell on it’s clasp should deflect minor damage, and maybe soak a hit or two from a spell. More importantly, the cloak itself was fireproof. Only a featherbrain worked in a foundry without fire protection.

I picked up the last item I needed, a pair of brass goggles with thick amber lenses. The goggles did nothing besides offer a bit of eye protection, but a proper mare does not shoot a steampunk gun without the steampunk goggles. It’s against nerd law, which on Equis is sometimes also rule of cool.

Most ponies would be crap at walking on their rear hooves. Fortunately I had been born in the totally wrong biped body instead of this one. I knew all the tricks to walking on two hooves, and easily made my way to my front door as smoke began to fill the room.

I bit my lip and started to plan the best method to take out the mage. She was the biggest threat. I had a lot of firepower, but wasn’t very quick because Gretta was heavy. Surprise was my best chance. My cloak might take a hit or two before being useless. Maybe if I ran for the cover of some of the barrels on the docks I could get a defensive position and-

Right, super mega death mage. Plans were probably irrelevant.

“Ah screw it. I’m probably going to die anyways.” I sighed. “Alright Gretta, let’s do this.”

I narrowed my eyes at the door and rushed forward. I squeezed Gretta’s trigger, a torrent of pink lightning bolts shattered the wooden planks, then sprinted through the shattered door with a roaring shout.

“Lyyyyyraaaaa Heaaaartstrings!”

Pine Sap - 2nd of Leaffall, ‘09 EoH

Someponies call piracy a crime, I call it honest business. After all what is a crime? It’s breaking a rule set in place by somepony long dead whose socioeconomic policies you may or may not disagree with. Many of the modern companies take those laws set in place by dead ponies and twist them to get to do whatever they want with no consequence. I simply honestly and openly break those rules when I so desire.

It’s not about freedom, or being true to one’s self, nor any other silly grand notion of self importance. For me, piracy is just business. There are goods, others want them, I get them, they give me money. Is it just about the money? Yes.

So why piracy? Because Pine isn’t going to be a dirty cheating liar while collecting her money. What do you think I am, completely without any moral whatsits, what are they called, those moral things? Principals! I have principals. One of which is the right to rule is not hereditary, it must be earned by personal deed.

Ruby lucked out in that I am happy as long as I am being paid. My loyalty is for sale, and at the moment nopony else can offer a better deal. Personal wealth, fame, fortune, and of course preventing the deaths of everything and thus the collapse of my business model.

Plenty of other pirates would have plotted revenge, desired their captaincy back. Not me, I had a better deal than being merely the captain. I was the indispensable expert, and when we had a crew, the captain would take the blame for any mistakes. Not me.

“Pine! Run out the guns and get us set up to fire a broadside. We can take out that knot of Dogs on our first pass.” the Captain called out from her position on the wheel.

“Aye ma’am!” I called dropping from my position on the mizzen to fly through the hatch.

Deploying the guns was a simple job. Optimally four crewmembers would do it, but one would work. I ran over to the large crank on the port side and gave it a spin. This deck’s guns slowly slid forward on their rails as the pulley system dragged them into place, chains rattling.

Normally I would have had to load them first, but the twins said they made them just sort of work. I’d trust them on that once. If something went wrong, it wouldn’t be my fault. Which is why Ruby could count on me being loyal to her, Captain is not a desirable position on a ship of cut throats. First Mate or bosun was more then enough for this pegasus.

As the gunports opened I could see the town ahead and off to the port side. I had stopped here several times before. It hurt to see the entire village ablaze. They were fairly nice people, they even gave us pirates the good rum when we came into port, and not because we threatened them too. Usually it was as a bribe to get them out of this shithole.

The sea of fire blazing where the village normally was almost hurt to look at. I could feel the heat of the flames from here. I could see the occasional flash of spell fire in the orange glow. More importantly I could see the battle line of Dogs the captain had pointed out.

They were arranged in a way to block one of the docks, and with their longbows they were keeping a small knot of thestrals from reaching a small skiff moored to the docks. That was simply needlessly cruel. The fire was more than enough terror to get whatever these Dogs wanted from the village. Preventing them from escaping was doing nothing to add to their advantage, hell since nopony was being let get away their infamy wouldn’t receive a benefit.

“Oh bucking Tartarus.” I mumbled to myself.

Only soldiers behaved like that. Some dickbag ‘I’m in charge because dead people said so’ wanted this village wiped from the map and the evidence swept under the rug. Scum.

I snapped my wings open and flew above deck, hovering in front of Ruby. Pointing with one hoof to the chaos below I called, “Captain, the Dogs are soldiers of some kind. I recommend we open fire as soon as possible. They probably have heavier weapons than simple raiders.”

She nodded, pushing her hat up to take a look at the village below better. A moment later her eyes opened wide in shock. “The fuck? Those look exactly like… I think I’ve fought these guys before.”

A second later her face took on a grim expression, “Dose this village mine something called Arcaneite?”

“I don’t think so… but that’s a volcano you could possibly find it here. Why?” I asked in confusion.

“Some friends and I fought dogs that looked just like those ones in a mine a few weeks ago. According to slaves we freed they were after Arcaneite for-”

A loud explosion, splintering wood, and the crackling of lightning erupted from the world below. A large line of pink light the plaza in front of the docks, washing out even the setting sun for a moment.

“-a terrifyingly powerful mage. Right, keep circling the village’s perimeter and fire on anything you can safely hit that’s not a villager.” Ruby finished in a dark tone.

She let go of the wheel. “The twins say you can just yell at her to fire and she will. I’ll be back when this is done… We need to make earrings with message cast on them or something.”

Ruby snapped open her wings and flew towards the bow of the ship where the twins were. “Right girls, boss fight in the plaza.”

“Sweet! I just finished enchanting a bracelet of Isaac's Sequencer!” I heard Risky exclaim in a way to eager tone.

“If it’s who I think it is, she has a save or suck spell. So you know, hit hard and fast.” A second later and they were over the edge of the ship.

For a moment I thought about sailing off into the sunset, my ship reclaimed as my own. I’m a big enough pony to admit that. But the thought slipped from my head a moment later.

I grabbed the wheel with my hooves, turned to get a line on the Dogs at the dock and ordered, “Port cannons, fire!”

The Enterprise lurched as the thirteen cannons unleashed… what appeared to be grapeshot rounds. I would have to tell the twins the ammo in the canons needed to be selectable. The dock’s shattered as the storm of tiny steel balls ripped through Dog, dock, and skiff alike.

“Oops…” I muttered to myself. Ah well, at least the ponies would live now.

“Luna’s mane!” Somepony’s voice exclaimed over the sounds of battle and the roar of fire. “That’s bucking awesome!”

I couldn’t help but grin as I spun the wheel around to circle the village. A flying ship definitely opened up new business opportunities.

Captain Ruby/Kaily - 2nd of Leaffall, ‘09 EoH

As I jumped off the ship a part of my brain screamed ‘What the fuck are you doing?’ I still wasn’t quite used to being able to fly yet. Sixty feet below me I could see the ground rushing up fast. I snapped my wings open, instantly slowing to a halt and hovering.

The twins shot past me like someone had tossed two bags of potatoes overboard. Poor things could barely fly, but I was reasonably sure they could reach the ground safely. As for me, I wanted to take in the situation.

I spotted her just like I thought I would. Distinct black and silver cape fluttering in the wind, horn blazing black and purple as she readied a spell. I quickly looked around to see who she was attacking, only to have my brain seizes up at the sight of a green pony in a brown cloak with steampunk goggles brandishing an equally steampunk Gatling gun that was shooting pink lighting.

“That is the single most awesome thing ever.” I whispered to myself out loud.

Then a thought occurred to me. Some tropes seem to work in this universe, did that include rule of cool? I had to find out, and I knew just how I could do it.

A few flaps of my wings brought me directly above Genesis. I tucked my wings against my sides, rolled over mid air, braced one hoof against the other and began a flying elbow drop. At the last moment I realized I needed a quip.

“Hey Genesis!” I saw her tip her head upwards, I hoped some surprised expression was behind her mask.

The ground rushed upwards like a train coming right at me. I needed a quip, something appropriate, something to test my theory, something heroic. “Snap into a slimjim!” Dammit!

I slammed into Genesis squarely in her back. I felt something under and inside my elbow shatter at the same time. Dull pain radiated outwards from my arm, adrenaline dulling it as I rolled off the flattened mage’s back with a fire muttered hisses of pain.

I reached for my magic, muttering under my breath before a few blue sparks of light danced around my elbow and the pain vanished. “So happy… bards… get… cure… light wounds.” I groaned turning around to start the fight properly.

Genesis jumped back to her feet like a puppet on strings, roaring in pain.

“Ahh! I will mount your head where your tail used to be!” she roared her six blades flying out from under her cloak.

The twins sprinted around her to my sides. Risky barked a command word, her silver bracelet flashed white, a blue field of energy instantly pulled into existence, separating us from the enraged dark mage. At the same time a large circle of glowing white runes radiated outwards from Risky’s position, and her fur darkened, turning to iron.

Lucky gave me a grin. “Nice try, but I think we need a Barbarian for that. Stick to Bard stuff!”

Genesis threw her blades point first into the wall of force, their blades skipped off the surface in a shower of sparks. I saw her eyes narrow slightly behind her mask, then narrow even further. “Where did you get those powers from?”

“Ironically, from the first time I fought you!” I said in a teasing, mocking tone of voice.

I reared up on my hind hooves, slung my guitar off my back into my grasp. I gave a string a quick pluck, nodding as the distorted electronic tone confirmed that it had survived the fall.

“Keep her busy while we read her.” Risky said with a grin her voice sounding distorted through whichever defensive spell gave her the metal coating.

“Right!” Last time I had used any of my powers in combat, I had a whole different set of abilities. I wonder if your abilities change up every time you reincarnate or if how I was brought back specifically did it.

Around me a million shadows flickered and danced in the light of the fire. I could feel each and every one of them as I held my guitar. I’d tried a little bit on the ship ride over, but could I actually-

Pink energy streamed in from the left, slamming into Genesis, a crackling black barrier stopping the energy. Her hooves scrabbled on the ground as the sheer impact slowly pushed her to the left.

I looked over in surprise, “Right! Steampunk gunner pony! Hey you! Get into the Circle of Protection!”

Genesis turned and fired a bolt of helixing purple energy at the gunner, it warped mid flight, missing her by a hairs breath. The pony’s cloak’s clasp exploded in a shower of sparks which looked suspiciously like an electrical short. She started to move for the cover of our barrier, continuing to fire way too much high-voltage lightning.

I struck a cord on my guitar, the sound echoed off the burning buildings, forming a disjointed, horrible sound which sent chills down my spine. As I played a second cord I saw the shadows stop moving. A third cord and the shadows twitched again, this time towards me. I bit my lip and focused on playing a good tune, it was hard enough to make a shadow dance, if I wanted one to fight I would have to be good.

Evil mage, purple death magic, burning village, trying to save world. The only appropriate song I could think of was the theme to Thundercats. I focused on the song, letting my magic turn the memory of the song into hoof movements. I also focused on not thinking about how the hell I was pressing individual strings with hooves. That would fuck me up so hardcore.

Genesis muttered a quick phrase and stomped her hoof. The cobble stones cracked, rippled, warped, and erupted in a line outwards, knocking the gunner pony over in a shower of rock fragments. A second word warped the air, a huge ball of fire wove itself from the air and slammed into the barrier, spinning against it, hungrily grinding, slowly shredding away the magical shield wall.

“Thunderstomp and Flaming Sphere.” Risky noted.

Lucky nodded slowly, “Yep, and a ray attack. She’s all physical force.”

“You in the hat! Help us dammit!” the green pony shouted as she picked herself up.

“I am!” I called back. Stupid subtle, takes time to warm up bard performances…

Genesis’s blades scythed outwards, the green mare batted them aside with her gun, one sliced the hem of her cloak. “Ah! Fuck!” She cursed. “Adding a soundtrack doesn't actually help win a battle!”

Shadows swam around the ground near my hooves. Everything was ready. “That’s not what I’m doing!” I called back. I switched up my tune, some theatrics wouldn’t hurt. My hooves strummed over the strings, the first bar of UN Owen was her?/Death Waltz surged through the shadows around my hooves.

They arose as a pulsating mass of shadow, dull red flecks of magic pulsating in the formless mass as it exploded outwards, surging around the barrier and slamming into genesis’s invisible shield with a sound like cracking glass.

“What?” Genesis exclaimed, a pulse of magic from her horn sealed the cracks in her shield.

My song directed the shadow mass, it rose back up off the ground, solidifying into the shapes of two small dragons, just a little bigger than a pony. It was metal as fuck. So metal I stopped playing in awe and the shadows fell back into a formless mass.

“Nevermind! Soundtracks help!” the minty mare called as she lay down a line of fire.

I could smell the ozone coming from the general area she was firing from. It was awesome, but terrifying.

“Right! Go!” Lucky shouted suddenly.

Risky barked a phrase in what I swore was elvish, a faint shimmering globe of light enveloped lucky. Lucky snapped her wings open and zipped up to the top of the barrier. Genesis’s horn flashed, a series of black and purple balls of energy shot from her horn, hit the shimmering globe and simply winked out of existence.

“Eat it!” Lucky commanded.

The ground literally opened up, a gash in the cobble forming a beastly maw from which tendrils of earth lashed, snagging Genesis by the legs, dragging her beneath the ground in a panicked scream.

In the same instant Risky pointed with one hoof to the terrifying earth maw and demanded something in more elvish. Lava pooled up from the gaps in the earth, forming a thin layer of molten rock over the area, which quickly cooled into a thick sheet of obsidian. The screams vanished, only the memory of the earth eating someone and the stench of molten rock remained.

I let out the breath I had been holding and let my guitar drop to hang from its strap. “It took you that long to use what I assume was a drag them to hell move?” I asked shakily.

“Didn't know if she would dodge it. She’s a mage, could have been something other than a blaster.” Risky replied.

“It may not be over, that spell just traps them in solid rock. We need a few minutes to be sure she suffocates.” Lucy said, hovering above the obsidian field.

“Wait a minute…” The minty mare asked curiously squinting at Risky, “Do I know you from somewhere?”

Risky looked over, squinted at her and blinked in surprise, “Lyra? Holy shit! I knew you made it through the portal before they walled it off!”

The minty pony, Lyra, took a step back, her jaw dropping open. “Risky? Oh my god it is you! Wait, how are you casting spells as a thestral?” There was a three second pause before she groaned, “Oh my god, you’re such a metagaming munchkin you gained magic powers you shouldn’t even have.”

“Actually,” I said as diplomatically as I could, “We were given powers to stop an end of the world type disaster by a group of-”

The obsidian shattered like glass as a huge hoof made of black and purple energy burst from the ground. A second smashed it’s way to the surface, a huge pony shaped bulk tore itself from the earth, sending cobblestones sliding down its sides like rubble.

“Nice try!” Genesis laughed.

Lyra whipped her gun up and fired a line of bolts. They crackled over the massive dark avatar's form, doing nothing I could see.

“I don’t know what spell that is!” Lucky screamed in a panicked voice.

“Don’t look at me!” Risky screamed equally panicked.

Genesis raised one massive hoof and brought it down, smashing Lucky and the energy barrier in a shower of sparks. I took a step back, trying to think of anything I had which could do a god damn thing to such a monster. Lucky gurgled, dragging herself forward with her forelegs along the ground to try and get away from the crackling energy abomination.

“Die!” Genesis hissed, a bolt of gray light lancing from her mouth, striking Lucky in the back. She stopped moving immediately.

Suddenly a series of explosions peppered the monster’s side. She roared, whipping her head around in time to take another full broadside in the face as the Enterprise soared past.

“Thank you Pine!” I squeaked as Genesis roared in fury.

Her energy form leaked tendrils of black and green energy from a half dozen large holes all across it’s right side. A warhorn suddenly blared in the distance. Her avatar's head turned towards the sound instantly and nodded.

“You are fortunate I am on a tight schedule. I have what I need, farewell.” Genesis paused nodded to herself, and vanished in a sphere of dark energy with a loud crackle of lightning.

“Thank you everything!” I sighed in relief. I had no idea how I was going to beat that. Though a few more volleys from the Enterprise might have done it there is no telling how easily she could have smashed that ship.

“No-no-no-no-no-no! How do none of us have resurrection spells?” Risky screamed.

“Cuz… not… clerics…” Lucky gurgled.

Oh shit. I dropped to all fours and ran over to the twins. Risky was hunched over her sister, or well, her sister’s upper half. I’m pretty sure the molten pool of rock she lay next to contained her missing parts. I did my best not to look at the… missing area. I could feel my stomach flip from the smell alone.

I needed to do something. Not only because someone was dying, but because of how completely destroyed Risky would be if her sister died. I would lose a friend, a possible loved one, and a huge asset for our cause all in one go. I would not allow that!

This was so far out of the range of Cure Light Wounds, I didn’t know if anything I had could even help. I quickly listed off everything I could do in my head. Nope, not a damn thing. Unless… “Risky! Do you have anything which grants fast healing or regeneration?”

“No! Nothing we have heals HP! We totally spaced healing spells!” Risky exclaimed tears welling up in her eyes.

“Shoulda… dipped…inta... cleric.” Lucky gasped, eyes fluttering shut.

“Do you have any-” In an instant of clarity, a solution hit me. They were abusing the familiar rules for extra power, they had to have taken the spells which enhance their familiar! “Do you have Merge with Familiar?” I asked quickly.

“I what? Yes wh-” Risky’s tear stained face twisted into a smile, “It stops ongoing effects! That includes death!”

“Cast it! If we ever level up, I’ll take something which grants fast healing, or you pick up limited wish and fix it yourself.”

Risky set a hoof on her twin’s head, muttered a short phrase, and with a rather disturbing squishing sound and pulse of green light, her dying body vanished.

“Is everything okay?” I asked immediately.

Risky staggered to her hooves, nodded slowly, and flinched. “It’s fine… just...ow… that hurt. Alot. She’s in here. I can hear her… I’ll permanency this effect as soon as I ca-ow!”

“W-was that fucking Oubliettes and Ogres magic?” Lyra asked in a completely stunned tone walking over slowly.

“Well, it’s called Pathfinder in my home world, but yeah.” I answered as I got situated on all four hooves.

“How?” She asked simply.

Anyone with a big ass lightning gun needed to be on our team. It was time to fill her in. “Our powers were given to us by unknown entities to save the world from what they described as a ‘Magical Reaper Invasion.’ Since you know them I am guessing you used to live in their real-”

“Oh shit! Right!” Lyra let go of her gun and sprinted over to Risky, wrapping her arms around her tightly. “Hey, it will be alright. Can you hear me?”

Risky nodded and tapped the side of her head. “She’s in here. We’re fine. I know where Lucky is. I-I’m just… this isn’t like the game at all...”

Lyra let go slowly. “Are you in shock? I was after the first time I had to fight here.”

“No, we’re just disappointed. It’s not… it’s not as fun as we thought. We don’t know the rules for the setting. Like whatever the hell that custom spell was… We need information. We can’t keep trying without information. Ruby, we have to go to a library or something right now! I/we won't fight anything else until we know what the rules are.” Risky, demanded.

Lyra nodded, “Yeah she’s fine. Sounds like she is at least. So Ruby is it? Nice hat… Do you know them well?”

I shook my head, “Not really, just a few days, they are a part of my crew.”

“I went to school with them… her… I’m confused…” Lyra admitted slowly.

Risky offered Lyra a smile. “It’s okay, really. I cast a spell that physically merged her consciousness into my body. She’s not in control of my body, but I hear her voice, and…” a small ball of white light winked into existence just above Risky’s head, “Yep she can still cast her spells! We can manage like this for a while.”

Lyra shook her head, “This is why I stopped learning to play… too many spells to memorise. You seriously have powers from a tabletop RPG?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I also have a flying pirate ship and need a crew. Wanna join?”

Lyra looked around the village, the flames were still burning brightly. She nodded. “Yeah… that’s probably a good idea. I imagine a lot of other ponies will too, there won't be enough left to be worth rebuilding.”

“Right. Fire.” I looked around the burning village, “What can we do about fire?”

“Pff, fires easy! We just snatched Lucky from- Holy crap! You actually saw death?” Risky said to herself looking shocked. “Dude! Awesome! That has to gain you some sort of template… So you’re saying death is an albino pony and kinda a dick?”

“That’s bullshit!” I exclaimed angrily. “She totally made me wait forever before she showed up! Lucky wasn’t even totally dead!”

Lyra raised an eyebrow. “I feel like I might regret saying this, but screw it. I’ll join your crew captain. You definitely have adventures of the kind I imagined I would get to go on when I moved here.”

“Awesome!” I said with a smile. “Now, lets see about getting this fire put out.”

Risky Grace - 3rd of Leaffall, ‘09 EoH

It took all night to put the fires out. For a village made mostly of rock and ice, there was a surprising amount of flammable objects in the buildings. Fortunately with Lucky in my mind, she could help me by meditating and recharging our daily spells, so I could keep using Pyrotechnics to extinguish the flames.

I’m pretty sure most people would be having adjustment problems or maybe body horror. We were oddly fine. I mean, I was a bit sad I couldn’t hug Lucky right now, but she was alive and we were together. We couldn’t ask for much more.

A total of forty six batponies survived the attack. The small amount of supplies left in the village wouldn’t have lasted them long at all, so they decided to join Ruby’s crew. Hilariously, every single one of them was already female. I mentioned that to Lyra, figuring she would find it weird.

Turns out she had gone full native. Spent five minutes filling me in one the subtle differences between the people of our universe and their pony counterparts. Turns out a crap ton of people have a female counterpart. Males are really outnumbered here.

That kinda rocked actually. Never did like that many guys. Nothing against how they acted or behaved, they just weren't cute. It’s hard to not like non-cute things.

Lucky whispered teasingly.

“Yeah she is…” I mumbled in reply. For some reason, I couldn’t send messages back to Lucky telepathically.

Lucky teased.

“Risky!” Ruby called from the other side of the deck.

I turned and looked over my shoulder. “Yes?”

“We need to figure out a way to feed everyone. Do you have-”

“Already on it!” I answered. “Lucky’s preparing the spells to make a ring of sustenance for everypony here.”

I trotted over to her side so i wouldn’t have to yell.

Lucky pointed out.

“Shh!” I shushed. Clearing my throat I began to fill Ruby in on my plan. “So, we have this small crew now… we need to make it the most effective we can. I can make magic items, we have treasure in the hold, and we can take valuable ores from the mine and use them to fuel our spells. We shouldn’t set sail right away. We can equip our crew pretty awesomely. Sure they don’t have class levels, but even a 1st level peasant can be really dangerous if you give them a rod of Admonishing Ray.”

Ruby nodded, “I was going to ask you what you could make to kit them up.”

“My plan was a Ring of Sustenance each, made into earrings or other piercings. So you know, only have to sleep two hours a day, don't have to eat, remain alert, all that jazz. A rod of Admonishing Ray, non-lethal, but can damage objects, knocks people out for a good long time, great for taking prisoners.

“We could fire indiscriminately even if the enemy had meatshields, and our weapons can’t be used to kill us. I figured I would make them into necklaces. Lastly another piercing of some sort, this one a Ring of Force Shield. Cuz you know, invisible tower shield that doesn't break, death ray firing super avatar mage.” I finished muttering darkly.

“That’s a good starting kit. We will probably think of better stuff in the future too.” Ruby mused. “What about stuff for us?”

“You bet your perfect bubble flanks I’m going to make us great gear!” I exclaimed.

Lucky teased.

“Shut up! She already knows I like her!” I groaned. “Besides you owe her your life! Oh! Right!”

I gave Ruby my best sincere look, “I… I’m a bit of an… irresponsible foal sometimes. Fun first and all that. But… I, no we owe you, realy big. I won't say I’m yours to command, but I will help you in any way you need me too.”

Ruby smiled and gave me a tight hug with one arm. “Thank you.” She gave me a small kiss on the cheek and whispered, “That’s only half loving. The other half is to spite your sister.”

Lucky exclaimed in admiration.

“I’m sorry you two got hurt under my command.” Ruby said, her mouth frowning as she let go of me. “I… I promise I’ll have a plan of attack for everything I can from now on.”

“I’ll accept that apology if you let me snuggle with you.” I informed playfully.

Ruby’s ears drooped, a tuft of her pink bangs fall in front of her eyes. “Oh shit… You two were an item. Will you have problems sleeping alone?”

“Yes.” I admitted bashfully.

Lucky protested.

“Yeah but you are currently not cuddleable.” I rebutted.

Ruby bit her lip for a moment in thought then nodded to herself. “Okay… you can sleep with me. But just sleeping! Nothing else just yet.”

I felt a surge of joy well up in my chest. “Thanks!”

Lucky noted.

“I know. Too much happy.” I answered with a chuckle.

Ruby giggled. “I wish I could hear what she was saying.”

I rubbed a hoof to my chin in thought. Was there a way we could do that?

Lucky suggested.

“Sis, you’re a genius! I’m gonna get on those magic items Cap, then I’ll see about a spell to get you in on Lucky’s commentary.” I leaned forwards gave Ruby a kiss on the cheek then zipped off below decks to the workshop I set up in the cargo bay.

It was dark below decks, even for my eyes. A split second before I could think to cast light, Lucky did. The flickering ball of white light bobbed along behind me lighting the hallway perfectly. “Huh… Thanks!”

Lucky mused.

“So could I sis. It’s actually kinda neat having you in there.” I said, humming happily as I walked into our workshop.

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