The Cruelty of Ilisapesi

by Wiimeiser

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Iron Will, Coco Pommel, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Berry Punch, Dark
Length: 1768

Three ponies, a dragon and a minotaur are trapped underground, and question what cruel fate brought them there.

Some curse the gods when fate doesn't go right. If fate goes wrong, is it the God's fault, or yours? Does fighting that fate do any good? Does fighting the goddess of a fictional religion help? No, it does not

When five seemingly random inhabitants of Equestria are trapped underground, they must work together to find an escape. But does fate want them to escape? No, it does not

A randomly generated story

Published 2015-06-08 02:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-08 02:00:02 UTC

Prologue: Fate is a cruel mistress

Fate is a cruel mistress.

Just ask Coco Pommel.

Or Berry Punch.

Or Spike.

Or any minotaur. Especially Iron Will.

Even the Princess of all ponies was trapped down here.

But why? Who could have done this?

And why these five specifically?

Several thoughts ran through their minds.

How did it come to this?

How could this happen?

Why me?

Trapped with four others.

Even the Princess is here!

Who is behind all this?

It had started out just like any other day. Coco was working alone in the back room of a backwater store in Marehasset, finishing up the frills on the dress for Babs Seed to wear at her cute-ceañera tomorrow, when she heard an ungrateful somepony knocking on the shop's main entrance.

"We're closed!"

The knocking persisted.

"I said, we're closed!" Coco shouted a second time, "Seriously, some ponies these days."

Coco dropped her scissors on the desk and went to answer the door. To her surprise, it was her fillyhood friend Dazzling Grin, a familiar pink pegasus mare, with a magenta mane with orange streaks. There was no mistaking it. Her cutie mark, a smiley face, was plain as day.

"Um..., Daz..." Coco asked, "Why are you delivering mail? Isn't that your sister's job?"

"Post-it Note contracted feather flu the other day, so I'm filling in for her. Is it so strange?"

"Y...Yes, actually..." Coco replied sheepishly.

The pegasus hovered in and handed Coco a letter with a fancy seal.

"Well, here's your mail for today. See you, Coco!"

Daz turned around and flew off. Coco watched as her friend flew to a balcony nearby. "See you later, Daz!"

Coco shut the door behind her and turned around.

"I swear, Daz... One of these days..."

Coco returned to her work. She unfolded the letter and placed it on the table. She considered just leaving it there and finishing the dress for Babs, but she knew the filly would hate the dress either way. She wasn't into dresses, really. Actually, she really hates them, the thought to herself. She'd rather just streak everywhere.

Coco collected her thoughts and decided to read the letter anyway. Looks fancy, so it must be important.

From: Gala Planning Corp.,
282 Cutie Mark Road,
Greater Canterlot Region

To:
Coco Pommel,
71519 Old Starswirl Highway,
Marehasset, New Yoke, Faust

Sent: April 11, 1993

Dear Ms. Coco Pommel

You have been invited to this year's Grand Galloping Gala on July 4th as an honorary speaker. If you wish to attend, or to decline future attendance, please send the relevant mail to the Gala Planning Corp., 282 Cutie Mark Road, Greater Canterlot Region, by May 28 (Rodeo Day). If you wish to attend, you may take a "Plus One" with you. Please write to the above address for more information on the Plus One system.

Yours sincerely,
--Flash Armor, Random Guard #193777 and Gala planner #187

Coco looked inside the envelope. There was a shining, golden ticket.

The dress can wait.

Berry Punch lay on her sofa watching Twinkle Wish Adventures: Revenge of the Unicorn With Two Horns on the Disc Recovery Channel when she heard a knock at the door. "Too damn early in the morning..." She mumbled to herself, reeling from her hangover from the party last night. It wasn't her fault Applejack had decided to live up to her name in the cider business and start selling applejack.

"I'll get it!" a familiar shrill voice squeaked.

"Thank you, Pinchy."

"Hey, Berry!" a familiar, deeper voice called out. Berry got up and looked toward the door. The local mailmare, whose name Berry couldn't care to remember with her nasty hangover, had parked herself in the front door and was holding out a letter.

"It's for you, ma." Ruby took the letter from the grey pegasus and handed it to her mother. She tried using her telekinesis, but couldn't do a thing with aside from a small spark and ended up dropping the envelope on the floor. She hastily picked it up and handed it over.

For me? Berry thought. This looks way too fancy...

She opened the envelope and read the letter:

From: Gala Planning Corp.,
282 Cutie Mark Road,
Greater Canterlot Region

To:
Berry Punch Berryshine,
62 Aaaa Street,
Ponyville, Faust

Sent: April 11, 1993

Dear Mrs. Berryshine

You have been invited to this year's Grand Galloping Gala on July 4th as an honorary speaker. If you wish to attend, or to decline future attendance, please send the relevant mail to the Gala Planning Corp., 282 Cutie Mark Road, Greater Canterlot Region, by May 28 (Rodeo Day). If you wish to attend, you may take a "Plus One" with you. Please write to the above address for more information on the Plus One system.

Yours sincerely,
--Shining Sentry, Random Guard #538511 and Gala planner #172

"Ruby, have you ever wanted to attend the Grand Galloping Gala?"

"Why, yes, it's been a dream of mine..."

Berry showed her daughter the letter.

Ruby's eyes widened.

"Does that make me your Plus One?"

Iron Will wasn't one for doing things slowly. As soon as he had removed the letter from his post box and ripped it open he started reading:

From: Gala Planning Corp.,
282 Cutie Mark Road,
Greater Canterlot Region

To:
Iron Will,
721 Camel Road,
Labyrinthian, Apfelblute, Hrvatska

Sent: April 11, 1993

Dear Mr. Iron Will

You have been invited to this year's Grand Galloping Gala on July 4th as an honorary speaker. If you wish to attend, or to decline future attendance, please send the relevant mail to the Gala Planning Corp., 282 Cutie Mark Road, Greater Canterlot Region, by May 28 (Rodeo Day). If you wish to attend, you may take a "Plus One" with you. Please write to the above address for more information on the Plus One system.

Yours sincerely,
--Dark Helmet, Random Guard #182194 and Gala planner #904

He couldn't believe it! A gala invite? Too good to pass up! He hesitated, but ultimately decided that Celestia probably had her reasons for inviting him. After all, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to go to the Grand Galloping Gala.

"Well," he said, "There's a first time for everything, I guess."

"So, Twilight, how's the new library comin' along?" Applejack asked. The farm pony followed Twilight through the crystalline halls of the castle, admiring the room its owner had assigned to store books.

"Quite nicely, actually." The purple alicorn replied, "Speaking of which, how's the farm going? How's Apple Bloom doing?"

"The farm's doin' just fine, thanks. Apple Bloom, Ah dunno. Ah believe she had a nightmare or somethin'. At least that's what she said. Mumbled somethin' 'bout dolphins, shadows and these things called twittermites before sayin' that she knew it'd be alright. Ah told her she shouldn't be afraid of growing up."

"That's good to hear, Applejack. Hey, did you say twittermites?"

"Ah did. At least, Ah think AB did..."

"Apparently some old religion from far away said they'd bring about the apocalypse."

"Really? And ya know this because..."

"I've been reading about other faiths recently. Did you know that same old group believes that the sun was the judge of the dead? They also think of her, yes, her, as the goddess of fate. Ilisapesi, I believe she was called. Said something about her punishing those who shirk their destiny, too. It's fascinating stuff."

"Ah'm not interested. Thanks anyway, Twi."

"...Or, how about the people who believe the world was created by three triangles?..."

The dragon on Twilight's back piped up. "Oh, Twilight. Never change." Spike continued reading his Power Ponies comic.

Applejack continued. "So, Twi, apparently they're sending out invitations to the Grand Galloping Gala already. It also said somethin' 'bout a "Plus One" who you can take for free. Ah'm thinkin' of takin' Apple Bloom, mahself. Ya interested?"

Twilight was rambling, "...And I still can't get over it! Scissors! Who would've thought! Scissors! It's fascinating!..."

"Uh, Twilight..." Spike tried interrupting the rambling alicorn.

Applejack sighed. "We're gonna have a problem here..."

"Have you sent the invitations?"

The dark alicorn stared at her lighter sister.

"Did you?"

Celestia looked up from her book. It had been a month since she first laid her eyes on one of the only books to survive the destruction of Golden Oak Library: The first in the Harry Waler series, Harry Waler and Starswirl's Element. Since then she'd had trouble putting the books down. She was already approaching the end of The Half-Breed Princess and was looking forward to the final book, The Deathly Hanoverian.

"Celestia!"

Celestia jumped at Luna's shout and dropped the book. "Is there something you wanted, Luna?" she asked in a flustered tone.

"You sent out all the invitations already, correct?" Luna repeated, a throbbing vein on her forehead becoming visible.

"I already sent them out, yes."

"Then why are there six invite sheets left over?"

Celestia turned and looked at the table.

"Because some have yet to receive theirs. Discord, for one, has sent no response. Iron Will, for another."

"So... These are just backups, then?"

Celestia took a sip of tea. "Yes, those are just in case we need to produce more for whatever reason." Celestia took another sip. "Tell me, Luna, why are you so flustered? You seem like you had a bad night. You placed the Moon one Melbourne out of its usual alignment this morning."

Luna sighed, "Tell me, sis, why do cutie marks exist? Do you know?"

Celestia shook her head. "Do I look like I know, Luna? I don't."

Luna sighed again, "Because, for some ponies, it is such a burden sometimes. One filly in Manehattan just got hers, and her cousin---"

"Do I look like I care, Luna?" Celestia interrupted, "Because I don't give a flying buck about what you do in the Dream Dimension. Unless, of course, you run into a terrorist or pedophile. Then by all means feel free to report them to the proper authorities. But I couldn't care less about the bucked-up stuff you come across. It's very grating at the best of times, and at the worst..."

Luna turned around.

"Where do you think you're going, Luna? We need to talk about this Pipsqueak you've been seeing lately.

Luna gulped.

Author's Note

My first fanfic, just one of those random ones. I honestly have no idea where I'm gonna take this.

Also, one Melbourne = The size of Melbourne, more specifically 59.26km or the distance from Melbourne Airport to Cardinia Reservoir. It's not really important, though.