Three Little Fillies from Mars

As the sun disappeared and the moon gave way, Farmer Cob sat on his rocking chair, in the comfort of his outside porch. He liked to watch the stars and listen to the soothing songs of the crickets that hid somewhere in his cornfield. Below his chair there was a bowl of candy. Since his home was several miles from the nearest town it was impossible for children to find him, but he still kept his bowl of candy on standby just in case.

The gentle motion of his chair made Cob jaded. Unfortunately he couldn’t stop rocking if he wanted to. It was so relaxing, so peaceful, why would he stop? It was a perfect way to spend a wonderful night.

Cob yawned, and not a moment later he closed his eyes and had dreams about corn dancing around his head.

Then, a faint humming sound came from the sky. The humming grew louder, and Cob slowly opened his eyes. He saw something in the sky. It looked like a shooting star, but he never saw a shooting star move so slowly. He climbed out of his chair and inspected the sky. Whatever it was, it was getting closer.

The object falling from the sky was coming right toward his house, and Cob realized that it was not a shooting star. He didn’t know what it was, but he wasn’t going to stay to find out. He rushed inside his house and took cover under a nearby table. It sounded as though an airship was going to crash into his cornfield. He held himself tight and prepared for the worst.

Oddly enough, everything was silent.

A moment later somepony was knocking on his door. Farmer Cob debated whether he should answer it. It was one of the things he hated about living in the middle of nowhere. There were several knocks on his door, and he had no choice but to answer it. Maybe it was somepony looking for shelter from the strange noise. But how could that be if there were nopony else around for miles?

“Hello?” Cob asked. “Who’s there?”

There was no answer. His hoof trembled as he reached for the knob. He twisted the knob and pushed the door open with caution.

He should have just stayed inside.

There were visitors in front of him, but not the visitors he thought would be. Before him were two bizarre creatures, just a few inches taller than him. They stood upright on their legs, and wore green suits, with glass helmets over their ugly, skull-like faces. Cob’s mouth hung agape at the sight of their large brains the glass helmets protected.

“Ack, ack, ack, ack, ack?” one of them said.

This was too much for Farmer Cob’s mind to take. Instead of screaming in terror, he immediately fell backwards unconscious. The two visitors looked at each other, then shrugged their shoulders. They removed him from the floor by his arms and legs and carried him into their flying saucer.

****

“Come on, where is she?” Scootaloo said under her breath. She and Apple Bloom stood outside Sweet Apple Acres wearing the costumes and makeup they wore for the talent show. Scootaloo paced back and forth, taking quick glances at her watch. “Sweetie should’ve been here by now! At this rate we’re gonna miss Nightmare Night!”

“Scootaloo relax, she’ll be here,” Apple Bloom said. “It’s still early.”

Scootaloo forced herself to not suggest the idea that they leave Sweetie Belle behind. Still, she wish she hadn’t decide to delay the evening. She looked over herself a few times, making sure Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon wouldn’t sneak up on them.

Pranking the spoiled brats wasn’t on Apple Bloom’s mind, however. Her thoughts focused on how ridiculous she looked in her black costume. Since the talent show she swore to never wear it again. Apple Bloom found it strange that neither she, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle hadn’t tossed their costumes away.

Suddenly, they heard hooves galloping toward them. A small voice in the distance was shouting I’m coming, I’m coming! I’m here! Apple Bloom squinted her eyes, and realized it was Sweetie Belle running their direction.

“See? I told you she’ll be here.”

Scootaloo was relieved. Finally their mission can begin, but when Sweetie caught up with them, Scootaloo frowned and gritted her teeth. She wasn’t wearing her rock band costume, but she was adorned in a blue dress, a golden tiara, fake wings, and a long yellow wig. Her white cheeks had little stars on them.

“Sorry I’m late,” she said.

“... Sweetie Belle, what are you wearing,” Scootaloo asked flatly.

“This? It’s my Princess Andromeda costume. Do you like it?”

Scootaloo dragged her hoof down her face, shaking her head in disappointment. “I told you to wear your show stoppers costume!”

“But Rarity and I worked hard on this!” she whined.

“We can’t scare Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon if you’re wearing a princess dress!”

“Girls, can’t we talk about this some other time?” Apple Bloom asked, budding between them. “Let’s just do what we have to do and go home.”

Scootaloo glared at Sweetie, then rolled her eyes. She lead the two of them inside their model ship. Inside were three seats, two in the back and one in the front center. Surrounding each seat were pedals and handlebars from old bicycles for maneuvering the wheels. There was a large windshield on the front for them to see through. Hanging from the top was a long piece of string for somepony to pull to turn the tape recorder on when the time was right.

“Okay, we have to pedal really hard and fast in order for this thing to move,” Scootaloo said, “and turn the handlebars when I say so.” She counted to three out loud so Apple Bloom and Sweetie can pace themselves. After three, like cyclists at a tournament, the Cutie Mark Crusaders pedaled to the metal, grunting and groaning as they drove their alien spaceship into the road ahead.

****

Farmer Cob could have sworn he was still in his house. When he came to his vision was blurry, the sounds faint and inaudible. White light burnt his retinas, causing his eyes to shut tightly. Cob found himself lying on his back when his sight was clear. He wanted to get up, but he couldn’t move his limbs nor his body. He was restrained to a metal table of some kind. Wherever he looked there was nothing but strange lights and other things he didn’t recognize.

There were voices, speaking to each other in a language he didn’t understand. Ack, ack, ack, ack, the voices went. Cob lifted his head as high as he could, and there they were - those awful-looking bipedal beings at his doorstep, their backs turned to him.

“Ack, ack, ack, ack, ack?” the one on the right went.

“Ack, ack, ack,” the one on the left answered.

They pressed buttons, turned switches, and pulled levers. Cob’s feeble attempts to free himself from the confines of the metal table caught the attention of the aliens, and they rushed toward the poor frightened stallion.

“No, please! Don’t hurt me!” Cob pleaded.

The aliens gave themselves confused looks. To the distraught of the corn farmer, they laughed at his face. The one on Cob’s right pulled something from his green suit. It was a brochure in its hand, with a photograph of Earth on the cover. The right alien spoke to Cob in its native tongue, consisting nothing but ack ack. It pointed to the planet on the brochure.

“I don’t seem to understand you,” Cob said, his voice shaking. “Please don’t hurt me, I’m only an old stallion.”

The alien reached for its chest and played with the buttons on its green suit. Then it began to speak, but as spoke with its otherworldly language, another voice emerged.

“... We hail the Planet Mars,” the voice box translated. “Our Grand Ruler has sent us on a scouting mission. You will tell us everything we need to know about earth.”

“But, but I don’t know anything,” Cob said frantically, “other than it’s the third planet from the sun; its orbit is 365.26 Earth days; it’s 92,960,000 miles from the sun; about 71% of the earth’s surface is covered in water… but I don’t know anything else!”

The Martians gave Cob blank stares. The one on the left searched under the table. Standing up, on its hands was a helmet with lightbulbs.

“What are you doing?” Cob shouted. “Don’t put that thing on me, please!” His pleads were ignored. The martians strapped the helmet on his head. A long cord was connected to the top of the ceiling. The other martian rushed to the corner of the room and pulled a lever.

An electric shock made Cob’s body stiff. The martians approached a giant screen, where it flashed images of Earth and its inhabitants from his brain.