Knock knock knock!
The blue pegasus opened her eyes and groaned. She had been lying on her bed sleeping in all morning.
It never fails, she thought. I get a weekend off from cloud-busting, and there’s a knock at the door.
The knock emitted again. Rainbow Dash groggily got up and walked to the door. To absolutely zero surprise, Pinkie Pie was there in a hot air balloon. She had her pet alligator Gummy with her.
“Pinkie Pie,” Rainbow Dash said, sighing. “I’m sleeping in today. I don’t have time for any of your parties.”
“Oh, this isn’t about parties, silly!” said Pinkie Pie. “I just wanted to see if you were available.”
Available? Uh oh.
“Available for what, Pinkie?”
“Well, I’m going over to the rock farm to spend the weekend with my family. But my parents don’t want me to bring Gummy, since he ate all the rock candy last time he was there. I don’t think that was Gummy’s fault though. They should’ve placed that jar on a high shelf, that way Gummy can’t reach. I tried to warn them that Gummy has a sweet tooth, but…wait, what? How can he have a sweet tooth if he has no teeth? Maybe he has sweet gums then…”
“PINKIE PIE!” Rainbow yelled. “Just get to the point.”
“The point is, I want you to watch him while I’m gone.”
“What?”
“Well, I just thought it would be fitting because you have a weekend off from cloud-busting today, and you already have a reptile pet in the form of Tank. I originally considered Fluttershy, but she already has a hard enough time caring for all those current animals, so…”
“No, Pinkie.”
“Excuse me?”
“No. I am not caring for you alligator. I have things to do.”
“No you don’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“I saw you through your window. All you’re doing is sleeping. Sleeping isn’t a thing to do, unless you’re having a sleeping race. Hey, we need to do that sometime! That sounds fun! But how would a sleeping race work? Is it to see who sleeps the longest? Or is it…”
“Pinkie! I’m tired! Go away!”
“Oh, okay,” Pinkie said, her mane lowing. “Guess I’ll have to go talk to the other girls…who will all be too busy doing other busy stuff to take care of Gummy…while you waste your weekend off doing nothing but snoozing away.”
Rainbow Dash sighed. It was no use. Pinkie Pie could guilt trip anypony into doing what she wanted.
“Okay, fine. I’ll do it.”
Pinkie turned from sad to happy in less than a millisecond. “OH, YES YES YES YES!” Pinkie yelled. She tossed Gummy onto Rainbow Dash’s back.
“Now, here are the instructions for caring for him.” Pinkie pulled out a long piece of paper and began to read it out loud. But Rainbow Dash wasn’t paying attention. All she was thinking about was being stuck with that boring alligator for a whole weekend.
When Pinkie was finished, she put the list back in the basket. “Bye, Gummy!” she said as the hot air balloon floated away. “Have fun with Rainbow! I’ll be back Monday! Oh, and bye Rainbow Dash!”
Rainbow Dash waved goodbye, then she carried Gummy back into her cloud house. She placed the alligator on a couch.
Hopefully, he won’t touch the floor, Rainbow thought. I don’t want to have to explain to Pinkie why her alligator is splattered beneath my house.
Gummy just sat there, his big purple eyes staring into space.
“So…” Rainbow said. “Do you do anything besides just sit there?”
Gummy reared up on his hind legs.
“Okay, so you can stand on your hindlimbs. Big deal.”
Then Gummy reached behind his back and pulled out a top hat and cane. He put the cane on top of his head.
“Okay, that’s kinda interesting, but…”
Then, to Rainbow’s surprise, Gummy began to dance. To her even bigger surprise, Gummy also began to sing in a deep baritone voice.
Hello, my filly
Hello, my darling
Hello, my new waifu
Give me a peck on the cheek
Your lips are so unique
If you reject me, darling, you’ve wrecked me
I won’t come back to you
Oh, darling, my waifu
Nopony’s as good as you
When he was done singing, Gummy put the hat and cane away, then got back down on all fours and retained that same blank expression he usually wore.
Rainbow Dash had her eyes wide open, and her jaw hung loose from her head. Did Pinkie Pie know her gator could sing? Or was Rainbow the first to find out about it? Maybe Pinkie Pie mentioned something like this in her list, and Rainbow missed it?
One thing was for certain: Rainbow had to show somepony else. Maybe Twilight? She was a huge egghead, so it would be nice to see what she had to say about this.
Rainbow put Gummy on her back. “Come on, Gums,” she said. “Let’s go over to the castle.”
***
“Okay, let’s see.” The purple alicorn had a bunch of books laid out in front of her on the table. “I have the book about counterspells…how to find elves...the missing tooth of Garmedon…”
“Twilight!” Rainbow Dash flew in and landed on the table in front of her.
“Rainbow Dash?” Twilight asked. “What are you doing here? Pinkie Pie told me you agreed to watch Gummy.”
“Yeah, he’s right here.” Rainbow turned, revealing the small green crocodilian on her back.
“Is there something you need help with?”
“No. I just wanted to show you something. Something really cool.”
She placed Gummy on the table in front of Twilight. The gator just sat and stared.
After about a minute, Twilight, unamused, turned her eyes up to Rainbow Dash. “So, what exactly am I looking at?”
Rainbow Dash groaned. She bent down next to Gummy.
“Come on Gummy! Sing! Sing!”
The gator did nothing.
When it became obvious that the gator would not perform, Rainbow Dash sighed. “Okay, fine. I’ll tell you. This is going to sound crazy, but I saw Gummy singing.”
“Singing?” Twilight asked.
Rainbow Dash nodded.
Twilight thought for a moment. Then she snapped her wing feathers. “I think I know what you’re talking about!”
“You do?”
“Yeah! I’ve read about this before. Alligators and other crocodilians have been known to vocalize to call mates. I have a book about crocodilians that I can go grab.” Twilight ran to the library.
“Twilight, wait!” Rainbow Dash yelled. “I don’t mean singing like a bird does! I mean actual singing, and dancing as well!”
The pegasus sighed. She looked down at Gummy. “I guess maybe I imagined you singing back there then. I feel bad about wasting Twilight’s time.”
Before she could grab Gummy, the alligator grabbed his hat and cane, and began to dance and sing again, this time thumping his tail on the table with the rhythm.
I was trottin’ down one sunny day
The streets of Canterlot
When somethin’ fell right from the sky
And hurt my head a lot
I looked down at the object
And much to my great glee
There was a great big (thump, thump, thump)
Right in front of me
Oh, there was a great big (thump, thump, thump)
Right in front of me
So, she hadn’t imagined the whole thing after all. Gummy really could sing and dance. After a great big smile spread across her face, Rainbow Dash rocketed into the library as fast as she could.
Twilight was standing by the “C” shelf and looking around for the book she had in mind. “Let’s see…cockatrices…codfish…”
“Twilight!”
Twilight jumped with surprise. She turned and saw Rainbow Dash standing in the doorway, with a grin that took up three thirds of her face.
“Twilight! Come here, quick! You gotta see this!” She grabbed Twilight’s hoof and dragged her through the hallway.
Meanwhile, Gummy continued to sing and dance to the song he was singing.
I desperately ran to see
The princess at the castle
It took me forever to get there
After all this hassle
But no sooner than I made it
Here’s what I heard her say
“You take that (thump, thump, thump)
And take it far away!”
Oh, you take that (thump, thump, thump)
And take it far away!
Gummy then put away the hat and got back on all fours. At that exact moment, Rainbow Dash dragged Twilight in.
“Look! See! He’s singing! He’s…” She looked down at the alligator, who just sat there on the table and stared straight ahead.
Rainbow turned to Twilight. “Well, you saw him singing, right? You at least heard him?”
Twilight frowned. “Rainbow Dash,” she asked. “Is this some kind of a joke?”
Rainbow Dash thought for a minute. Maybe Twilight wasn’t the right pony to talk to after all.
“Uh…yeah. It’s a joke. Heh heh. Pretty funny, isn’t it? A singing alligator.”
“Ha ha,” Twilight said sarcastically. “Very funny. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to organize these books Celestia sent me.”
“Fine.” Rainbow Dash picked up Gummy and carried him out the door. “Go ahead. Have no sense of humor.”
As soon as she and Gummy were out of the castle, Rainbow Dash realized there was another pony she could talk to. One who knew a lot about animals.
***
“La la la la la la la,” Fluttershy sang as she filled the bowl for the last mouse. She turned to all the mice, rabbits, squirrels, ferrets, and birds, who each had a big bowl of food in front of them.
“Do you all have the food you want?” They all made chittering noises. “Good to hear.”
Suddenly, the yellow pegasus heard a knock. “I’ll get it!” she called in her soft voice. Carefully stepping over the animals surrounding her, she made it to the door and opened it. Rainbow Dash was standing there, with Gummy sitting on her back.
“Oh, hi Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy said. “Pinkie told me you agreed to watch Gummy for her. Is there a problem? Is that why you brought him over?”
Rainbow Dash shook her head. “Nope,” she replied. “It’s just that Gummy did something really weird, and I want to see if you can tell me what it means.”
Rainbow Dash placed Gummy on the dirt ground. She stood back and waited with a huge grin on her face. Gummy blinked, but did nothing.
Suddenly, a loud chirping came from the house. “Hold on, Mr. Bunting! I’ll be right there!” She turned to Rainbow Dash. “I’ll be right back. One of my birds needs me.”
As soon as she was inside, Gummy grabbed his top hat and cane, and began to sing and dance again.
The Dizzitron broke down
As I went round and round
Each time I twirled, I wanted to hurl
As the Dizzatron broke down
Rainbow Dash gritted her teeth and began to sweat. Hurry up Fluttershy, or you’ll miss it.
The pegasus working that thing
Was a lovely orange mare
As I spun by, I let out a sigh
And tried to sniff her hair
Up, then down, back and then forth
I felt myself flying upwards north
I skidded and then crashed
Face downwards in the ground
I had lots of sweat, and I’ll never forget
The time the dizzitron broke down
Gummy put away his hat and cane and got back on the ground. At that moment, Fluttershy came out.
“Oh, that picky bunting!” she said. “I never give him the right amount of birdseed to satisfy him! So, what was it you needed again, Rainbow? Rainbow?”
A bead of sweat ran down Rainbow Dash’s face. She gritted her teeth and nervously twitched one eye.
“Need? I decided I don’t need anything. Bye, Fluttershy!” Rainbow grabbed Gummy and flew off with him, leaving a rainbow trail with an extra streak of green.
***
“What am I gonna do?” Rainbow said as she paced around her cloud home. “I tried talking to both Twilight and Fluttershy, who I both expect to know a lot about this kind of thing. But neither of them were very helpful. So I doubt Applejack and Rarity will be any moreso.”
Here comes our good friend Santa Hooves
Flying on his great gold wings
Bringing the good little foals in town
Toys, candy, bits, and such wonderful things
Rainbow Dash glared at Gummy, who instead of dancing this time, was just standing upright while singing.
“Shut up, Gummy!” she shouted. “Your singing has ruined me enough! And it’s not even close to Hearth’s Warming!”
As he drops gifts down to the roofs below
He chuckles merrily and gay
For he knows in all his great big heart
That happiness will come Hearth’s Warming Day
Yes, happiness will come Hearth’s Warming Day
Rainbow Dash sighed and slapped a hoof against her forehead. She ran to her room and put a pillow over her ears to drown out the singing.
***
The next morning, Rainbow Dash was awoken by a familiar singing voice.
My mom she makes me cookies
My mom she makes me rice
My mom is great, I do not hate
For she is very nice
Rainbow Dash lifted her head up from her pillow. She noticed that Gummy was on her bedside desk, singing and dancing to a new song.
My mom she makes me noodles
My mom she makes me bread
My mom gives me a book to read
Each time I go to bed
Rainbow Dash sighed, remembering what happened yesterday. She wasn’t in the mood for a repeat of that. At that moment, she heard a knock at her door.
She ran to answer it, and was surprised to see Pinkie Pie sitting there in the hot air balloon from before.
“Hi, Rainbow!” she said. “I decided to come home early. I wanted to spend the weekend there, but I was really missing you and the others, and you guys might have been missing me…and I just couldn’t stand that idea! So I…”
Before Pinkie could finish, Rainbow ran in, grabbed Gummy (who had finished singing), and ran back. She threw the alligator into Pinkie’s hot air balloon.
“Here!” she shouted. “Take him! Just take him, please!”
Pinkie looked down at Gummy, then back at Rainbow Dash. “I hadn’t even gotten to the part about Gummy yet. I bet he really missed me, and I missed him too!”
She picked him up with both hooves and held him close, nuzzling him. “You missed me, didn’t you? Well, I missed you too, poor little alligator! I hope Rainbow Dash took good care of you. Did she? Did she?”
Pinkie turned to Rainbow Dash. “You took good care of him, didn’t you?”
“Yes! Yes! Whatever!” said Rainbow Dash. “Just take him!”
“Why? What’s the matter? Didn’t you have fun with…”
“I said take him!”
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Fine. Suit yourself. Come on Gummy!”
The hot air balloon floated away. Rainbow Dash swore she could hear Gummy singing again.
Hello, my filly
Hello, my darling
Hello, my new waifu
Rainbow listened carefully, then she realized she could hear Pinkie singing as well.
Give me a peck on the cheek
Darling, your lips are unique
Then Rainbow heard them both singing at the same time.
If you reject me, darling, you’ve wrecked me
I won’t come back to you
Oh, darling, my waifu
Nopony’s as good as you
Author's Note
As you may have figured out, this is a parody of One Froggy Evening, the Looney Tunes short that I'm a huge fan of (to the extent of naming my username after the frog from the short).
However, only one song I'm parodying is from One Froggy Evening. Two other songs are parodies of other classic songs (see if you can figure them out), and the remaining two are original.
I was originally going to have Rainbow Dash getting thrown in the mental hospital, but I couldn't figure out how to make that work.
