The Misadventures of Fluttermom and Discordad!

Chapters

Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three

Prologue

Father's Day had come and gone once again. Rainbow Dash had spent the day in Cloudsdale with her father, Rainbow Blaze. Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor had both gone to Canterlot to visit Night Light. Rarity and Sweetie Belle had spent the day with their father; Pinkie Pie had gone back to the rock farm to throw a Father's Day party. Stores all across Equestria ran out of neckties, cologne, and shaving sets.

As the sun set, Discord sat in Fluttershy's cottage, enjoying a simple, hearty vegetable stew with his best pony friend. "I don't understand these odd pony holidays," he said. "I mean, a day just for mothers? A day just for fathers?" He shook his head. "Who came up with that?"

"I think they're lovely holidays," Fluttershy said. "A lot of ponies don't really appreciate their parents the way they should." She looked down and rubbed one hoof with the other. "Like me, for example. I was just a filly when I fell out of Cloudsdale and ended up here in Ponyville, and...well...I just decided to stay, and...and I didn't think about my mama and daddy at all!"

Discord raised a bushy eyebrow. "Really? You? Do something inconsiderate to the ponies that gave you life?"

Fluttershy's ears folded down. "I...I was young, and young ponies...they make mistakes."

"Hmm...yes...even older ponies...and ancient immortal beings such as myself...are known to make the occasional mistake." Discord stroked his beard. "But did you ever...?"

"Oh, yes, I did," Fluttershy said with a smile. "I worried Mama and Daddy so much, and they were upset with me, yes, but...they were also happy that I'd found my special talent. When I told them I wanted to move to Ponyville, they...they supported me." She sniffled and wiped a tear from her eye.

"But you didn't go visit your father today?"

Fluttershy dipped her head, her face turning sad. "Daddy passed away a long time ago."

"Oh. Oh my. I'm ever so sorry to hear that."

Fluttershy shook her head. "He was old," she said. "He was twice Mama's age when they got married and had me." She blushed. "That's...actually pretty...bad..." She looked up. "I did visit my mama on Mother's Day, but...I don't like going to Daddy's grave. It's too sad."

"You know, I've noticed something since I started spending time in Ponyville," Discord said. "For all the importance ponies place on family, it certainly seems as though there are far more ponies living alone, or scattered bits and pieces of families, here than there are whole, intact families with a mom and a dad and two kids and a dog and all that good stuff."

Fluttershy frowned thoughtfully. "Well..." She blinked. "You know, now that I think about it, you have a point there." She rubbed her muzzle with a hoof. "That is odd. I mean, sometimes things just happen, like...like with the Apple Family, but..."

"If you'll excuse me, I think I'd like to do some research on this whole 'family unit' thing," Discord said suddenly. He snapped his talons and exploded into a swarm of polka-dotted bees, which flew out through every opening in Fluttershy's cottage.

Fluttershy blinked. "Oh...oh dear..."

* * * * *

A week later, Fluttershy was having a picnic with her friends when Discord suddenly appeared, wearing a hideous maroon sweater and a pair of horn-rimmed glasses and smoking a pipe. "Good afternoon, ladies!" he said.

"Oh, hello Discord!" Fluttershy greeted.

Rarity recoiled. "Good heavens, what are you wearing?"

"There's somepony I'd like you all to meet," Discord said. "Come along, my dear!" He snapped his talons...

A second, female draconequus appeared. Her various chimera parts weren't quite as mismatched as Discord's; she was much smaller, and her features were far more ponyish. Most of her body was a soft buttery yellow, and her short, feathered hair was light pink with a black streak. One of her wings was a pegasus wing; the other was a vampire pony wing. She had a deer leg, a hawk leg, a bear claw, a sphinx paw, and a seapony tail. She lacked antlers of any kind. She wore heavy black eyeliner and mascara around her bright green eyes. She was holding a small purple device.

She looked up, and her muzzle scrunched.

"Uhh...what's with the mini-Discord?" Rainbow Dash asked, blinking.

"This won't be good," Twilight Sparkle muttered.

"Really!" Discord huffed. "How rude! Pay them no mind, Eris dear."

"I never do, Dad," the yellow draconequus said in a soft, bored voice.

Twilight, Rainbow, Rarity, and Applejack's eyes bugged out. "DAD?!"

"I didn't know you were a daddy, Discord!" Pinkie said.

Fluttershy frowned slightly. "Discord? What did you do?"

"Oh, well..." Discord chuckled. "After our little chat the other day, I did some research into family life in Equestria, and I felt...intrigued. So I began searching through all the potential future timelines of this dimension, and—" He started cackling. "I found one where, oh-ho-ho, you'll never believe this! Where I get married!"

"You're right. I don't believe it," Twilight said flatly.

"Oh, but it's true! And not only that, I end up a father!" Discord rubbed his hands together gleefully. "Can you imagine? Well...I just had to explore this possibility, so..." He gestured at the female draconequus. "I bent time and space to my will, and here she is, live and direct from one possible future...my lovely, spirited daughter, Eris!"

Eris looked up from the device she was fiddling with. "'Sup?" she said.

"Is she...y'know...all chaosy and stuff?" Rainbow asked.

"Her magic hasn't...really developed yet," Discord said. "She's only still learning the most basic stuff. Give her time, though...give her time..." He gave Eris a fond, tearful smile.

Eris blew on her bangs. "Whatever, Dad."

Rarity's eyes narrowed, and she cleared her throat. "Ahem. Not to be indelicate, but...who's her mother?"

"Why, I'm glad you asked!" Discord said. He swooped down and swept Fluttershy up, holding her aloft. "Congratulations, Fluttershy! It's a girl!"

"FLUTTERSHY?!" the others chorused, jaws hanging wide open.

Fluttershy's irises shrank to pinpricks. "Meep."

"Oh, hey Mom," Eris said before becoming distracted again.

Fluttershy fainted dead away.

Chapter One

Fluttershy lay on Rarity's chaise lounge. Four of the other ponies glared at Discord, who floated nearby with his alleged daughter. Pinkie Pie seemed more interested in Eris herself and the little purple device she had.

"Discord, THIS! IS! WRONG!" Twilight yelled. "What in Equestria possessed you to do something like this to your closest friend?!"

"Why, I have no idea what you're talking about," Discord said.

"Discord, you've done some messed up stuff, but this! This is BEYOND not cool," Rainbow said, hooves on her hips.

"How could you? After all the times Fluttershy has stuck up for you, defended you, helped you..." Rarity shook her head, then waved a hoof at Eris. "How in Celestia's name could you pull a stunt like this?"

"Love you too, Aunt Rarity," Eris said.

"This is really sick, Discord!" Twilight ranted. "I should write to Princess Celestia RIGHT NOW and—"

"Ladies, ladies! Please! Calm down!" Discord said, holding out his mismatched hands in supplication. "I was honestly as surprised as you all that there's a timeline where I get married to Fluttershy!"

"Ah don't believe it fer a second," Applejack said.

"Eh, it's not THAT strange," Pinkie said. "That thing she's playing with is, though. What IS that?"

Eris looked up at Pinkie, who somehow was sitting on top of her head. "It's my phone?" she said in irritation. "Do you mind, Aunt Pinkie? Personal space?"

In a flash of white, Pinkie was on the ground next to the others.

Fluttershy stirred and sat up, rubbing her head with a hoof. "Ohhh..." she groaned. She looked up at Discord and Eris, and her eyes widened. She flew up to Discord, hooves on her hips. "Discord! Explain this!"

"It's just like I said!" Discord said. "You know I have the power to bend time and space, right? You were there when we took that little...aheh...trip..."

"Yes..." Fluttershy said, frowning.

"Well, like I said...our little talk last week got me to thinking, and I wondered if there was a future timeline where I'm a father. I mean, I know how strange that sounds, but..." He shrugged. "Anything's possible."

"Ah don't know about that," Applejack said.

Discord raised an eyebrow. "Really, Applejack? Because I just so happen to have seen one timeline where you're all alicorns." He frowned. "I also saw one where I developed a wasting illness and decided to give Fluttershy my powers, and she became the new Discord..." He shuddered. "That was a nightmare..."

"Oh my," Fluttershy said.

"And then I happened upon the timeline where lovely little Eris here came from!" Discord swept Eris into a one-armed hug. "Believe you me, I was ever so surprised at how that particular timeline unfolded! But once I saw how happy we all were, I just had to borrow my potential daughter and bring her here to meet you all."

Twilight massaged the bridge of her muzzle with a hoof. "Discord, you can't honestly expect us to believe any of this—"

"Umm...actually, I think he's telling the truth," Fluttershy said softly. The others turned to her. She wilted slightly, but pressed on, "It...it's strange, yes, and...and I'm very weirded out by this, but...I know when Discord is being sincere, and...and what he's saying is true." She shuddered. "As crazy as it sounds, somehow or another, this is Discord's daughter and...and I'm her mother." She blushed furiously. "Oh my. I...I'd rather not even think about how that happened."

"You an' me both, sugarcube," Applejack said, turning green.

"Okay, fine," Twilight said. "So this whole...daughter of Discord thing...is for real." She frowned. "Discord, how could you just...mess around with time like this? Bring her here, changing her past...and what about her parents? Future you and...and Fluttershy..."

Discord chuckled. "Twilight Sparkle...how little you understand about time and space," he said. "Eris is from a potential future. She might exist, she might never exist! For all I know, Fluttershy might marry Big Macintosh and be the mother of a whole new generation of apple buckers!"

Eris frowned. "Wait, isn't he with Mrs. Cheerilee?"

"Details," Discord said, waving her off. "The point is, no future is written in stone, and there are literally hundreds of ways my future and Fluttershy's future could unfold. Eris only shows up in...oh, I don't know...two or three? Seven at the most."

"Sooo...she's what could happen, except you used your freaky Discord magic to make her real?" Rainbow asked.

"Exactly!" Discord clapped his hands together. "So! I hope you'll all make Eris feel welcome!"

The ponies looked at one another. "Umm..." Twilight hedged.

"Yyyyeah..." Rainbow said.

Pinkie scratched her head. "Well...we should throw her a party?"

"This is going to be awk-waaaard," Rarity muttered in a singsong tone.

Eris snorted. "Really feelin' the love here."

"Oh! I...I'm sorry, umm...Eris...dear..." Fluttershy said. "We...should be more...nice to you! I mean, you...didn't ask for this, and—"

Eris held up a sphinx paw. "Totally used to Dad's nutty schemes, Mom. You learn to live with it."

"I need to go prepare a room for my daughter," Discord said. "I'm sure she'll be fine in your hooves. Oh, this is going to be so exciting!" He disappeared in a white flash.

"Right. Okay then." Fluttershy put on a brave smile. "How about...I show you around town?"

Eris shrugged. "Whatever."

As Fluttershy and Eris flew off into Ponyville, the others looked around at each other.

"Anypony else wanna go throw up now?" Rainbow asked.

"Definitely."

"Absolutely."

"You have no idea..."

Chapter Two

Fluttershy snuck shy glances at Eris as they flew toward the more densely populated part of town. "Umm...so...Eris..."

"Yeah Mom?" Eris replied, not looking up from her phone.

"Umm...why don't you tell me more about...yourself? And...your parents...I mean, if it's...if that's okay with you."

Eris' brow furrowed. "You want me to tell you about...you?"

Fluttershy blinked. "Oh. Well. I guess...that...sounds pretty silly, doesn't it?" She laughed sheepishly. "Why not...just tell me about yourself?"

Eris shrugged. "I'm fifteen, you're my mom, my dad is the god of chaos, I go to school, I hang out with friends...there's not much to tell."

"Friends! That sounds good, tell me more about that."

"Ehh...I dunno. Most of them haven't even been born yet, and I don't want to risk screwing up the timeline..." Eris' muzzle crinkled. "Assuming they'd even be born in this timeline." She paused. "Oh. I guess I could tell you about my friends from other dimensions, though."

"Other dimensions? Goodness..."

"Yeah," Eris said. She showed Fluttershy her phone. While Fluttershy didn't understand the device or what it was (though she'd heard of 'phones' from Twilight), she could at least read a number of names which appeared in a list on the phone's tiny screen:

Earth Turd
Giffany
Q.M.
Spidey
Star Butterfly
The Other Maud
Vanessa D.

"Oh my," Fluttershy said. "Your friends have...such interesting names..." She shook her head. "So how did Discord and I...I mean..."

Eris floated in front of her and held up a paw. "Ground rule #1. The big one. You and Dad? You do NOT ask. Not something I like to think about, you know? I mean, do you like to think about your mom and dad doing you-know-what?"

Fluttershy turned very red. "O-oh my," she said. "Wh-when you put it that way..." She smiled gamely. "So, umm...this is Ponyville, and—"

"I know all about Ponyville, Mom," Eris said. "I grew up here. Well...mostly here. And Dad's place. And a few other places."

"Oh my," Fluttershy said. "I've only ever lived here and in Cloudsdale."

"Cloudsdale blows," Eris said.

Fluttershy gasped, pinning her ears back. "Cloudsdale doesn't, umm...blow!" she said. "Cloudsdale is a very nice city! Why, I...I was born there, you know!"

"And you left."

"Well...yes, because I liked living on the ground better."

"Because Cloudsdale blows."

"No, it...I never thought Cloudsdale...blowed. Blew?" Fluttershy crossed her eyes in confusion.

"Well I hate it," Eris said. "The Wonderbolts are jerks, the weather factory ponies are idiots, and the mayor does so many stupid things on an almost daily basis..." She coughed. "Sorry. Anyway, Dad got banned from there when I was visiting Grandma one time."

Fluttershy frowned. "What...did Discord do?"

"He got mad at the mayor because her new plan to completely automate Winter Wrap-Up for all of Equestria was really heartless and called for waking up all the animals really fast. You cried for an hour when you heard it."

"Oh my," Fluttershy whispered. "What...what happened then?"

"Dad let everypony in Equestria know exactly why Mayor Lightning Dust was kicked out of the Wonderbolts Academy, completely trashed her public reputation, then let the Smooze out in her office."

Fluttershy blinked. "L-Lightning Dust?" She frowned. "Well...good for him."

"Anyway, after that, Dad got banned from Cloudsdale, and..." Eris shrugged. "I mean, it's not like you can just ban Dad from someplace and make it stick unless you're Aunt Twilight, but...he promised to abide by the ban on his own." Eris snorted. "Besides, Cloudsdale is such a boring place, who'd want to go there?"

Fluttershy blinked. "Twilight can...?"

"That younger Aunt Twilight back there at the picnic? So not the Princess Twilight Sparkle I know." Eris shook herself. "I've only seen Aunt Twilight mad once. I don't ever want to see that again."

Fluttershy tilted her head. "Why, what did she...?"

"Long story short, Equestria got a brand new river out of it."

Fluttershy's irises shrank to pinpricks. "Meep."

"And lost a couple of mountains."

"Oh my..."

* * * * *

Lyra and Bon Bon sat on a bench, pony-watching. "Hey, Bon Bon," Lyra said.

"Yes?"

"Am I seeing things, or did Discord...shrink? And...doesn't look right?"

Bon Bon frowned. "Huh. I'm...not sure that's actually Discord."

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure there's only one creature in Equestria that looks like that."

"Well, true, but..." Bon Bon shook her head. "If I didn't know better, I'd say that looks like a cross between Discord and..." She trailed off. Her eyes widened. "Ooooooh my gosh."

"What?"

Bon Bon grasped Lyra excitedly. "Don't you see it?" she whispered loudly. "That...whatever it is...doesn't it look an awful lot like Fluttershy?"

Lyra blinked and stared at the strange draconequus...and the butter-yellow pegasus flying beside her. "Sweet Celestia...!"

Chapter Three

As five mares cleaned up after their aborted picnic, they discussed the latest wrinkle Discord had dropped into their laps.

"Twilight, you really oughtta write to Princess Celestia about this," Rainbow said. "This is all kinds of messed up."

"Yeah, Ah dunno whut kinda game Discord's playin' here, but this whole playin' house with Fluttershy thing..." Applejack shook her head.

"Actually," Pinkie Pie said, "as weird as this is, I don't really see anything wrong with it. I mean, how do we know Fluttershy and Discord won't—y'know—eenk, ernk, eenk, ernk—"

"PINKIE!" Rarity snapped. "We could do without the colorful metaphors, thank you!"

"How would that even work?" Rainbow wondered. "I mean, does Discord even have a d—"

"Girls? Let's drop this subject, please," a red-faced Twilight said. She cleared her throat. "Look...I'll write to Celestia about this, but..." She shrugged. "Honestly? The more I think about it..." She sighed. "The more sense it actually makes. I...I think we should keep an open mind. Even if it is Discord."

The others gasped. "Seriously?" Rainbow asked.

"Yes, seriously," Twilight said. "What if...what if Discord really just wants to know what it's like to have a family? Who are we to say that's wrong, even if the way he's going about it is...is..."

"Butt?" Rainbow offered.

"Yes." Twilight shook her head. "For now, let's...let's just watch and see how this plays out. And try to make friends with this Eris. If...if she's really what he says she is, we'll know soon enough, once we all spend some time with her."

The others looked at each other.

"If you say so," Applejack said, shrugging.

"She...did seem rather sensible," Rarity hedged.

"I wanna play with that phone thingie she had!" Pinkie chimed.

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine. But if ANY harm comes to Fluttershy from all this..."

"I don't think Discord would hurt Fluttershy," Twilight said. "Not intentionally, anyway," she muttered under her breath.

* * * * *

"Say, Mom? I'm getting a little thirsty," Eris said. "Why don't we stop by the Burp N' Derp for a bit?"

Fluttershy blinked. "The...Burp N' Derp? What's..." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I've never even heard of such a place..."

"Derpy's soda shop?" Eris asked, tilting her head. "Most popular hangout for younger mares and stallions?"

"Derpy?" Fluttershy echoed, blinking. "Oh my...she mostly handles local post and parcel service and odd jobs. She doesn't have a shop..."

Eris sagged with a heavy sigh. "Well that sucks," she muttered.

"You mean...Derpy opens her own shop in Ponyville in the future?"

"Yeah," Eris said. "She's a whiz with sodas. She makes the best sodas in Equestria."

"Huh," Fluttershy said, blinking. "Who knew?" She shook her head. "Anyway, I'm sure we can find something to wet your whistle with...how about Sugar Cube Corner? They do sell sodas...even though they're bottled instead of locally made..."

Eris shrugged. "It'll do."

As they flew off in the direction of Sugar Cube Corner, Fluttershy became acutely aware of ponies watching them, staring at them, whispering. She also noticed, in her peripheral vision, Lyra and Bon Bon shadowing them. "Oh my," she whispered, shrinking into herself and dropping low. "We're...we're attracting a lot of attention..."

Eris looked around, blinked at the ponies staring at her, and snorted. "You'd think they never saw a draconequus before..."

"Umm, well...draconequui are rather...rare," Fluttershy said. "In...in fact, there's...there's only one in all of Equestria right now, and, well...a lot of ponies still aren't over his whole being evil and trying to bring chaos and destruction to ponykind..." Her eyes flew wide open. "Oh, but...! Discord is a lovely being once you get to know him..."

"I sure hope so, for my own sake," Eris quipped. "Oh, we're here! C'mon, Mom, let's get inside before you have one of your attacks..."

"One of my attacks? What...? I don't have attacks!"

"Sure you don't," Eris said with a smirk. "Let's get that soda."

As the two entered Sugar Cube Corner, they completely missed the jaws scraping the ground in their wake.

"Did...did she say MOM?!" Lyra gasped.

"I was right," Bon Bon said, eyes narrowing. "But...but when?! I mean...WHEN?!"

"What're we gonna do about this, Bon Bon?!" Lyra cried, standing on her hind legs and flailing her hooves around. "This...this is big!"

Bon Bon frowned. "For now? We should stalk them. Find out more. If necessary..." She whipped a pair of sunglasses out of nowhere and put them on. "I'll report to Celestia."

Lyra tilted her head. "Didn't you say your organization thingie was disbanded?"

"This is bigger than plausible deniability," Bon Bon said. "There's an undocumented teenage draconequus on the loose, and she may or may not somehow be Fluttershy's daughter by Discord. I'd say it's our sworn duty as citizens of Equestria to fully investigate this matter."

Lyra narrowed her eyes. "Bon Bon," she growled, "I think you're full of horseapples. Admit it...you just want to justify being nosy and spying on them."

"And?"

Lyra sighed. "And I'm in..."