"I Don't Want To Be Here"

“I Don’t Want To Be Here”

+++

Dear Mr. Capone,

I just want to make things very clear. I do NOT want to go to Equestria. And there is nothing you can say or do that will make me go.

Sincerely,

Julius Burns

*****

Julius Burns, a middle aged man of average built, wakes up in the middle of a field feeling like someone had ripped out his soul and put it into another body. He feels like he’s in good health, just in the wrong body. Julius stands up and...sees that he has hooves. He holds up his fore-hooves to his eyes and falls on his face not even a second later. He stammers gibberish and tries to feel himself. He does not feel like a Human at all. He’s covered in hair, or fur, or whatever the heck it is that’s making him roast in the sun, and when he feels something attached over his butt his eyes widen and he slowly looks over his shoulder and sees a messy, dark brown horse tail. His jaw drops and his lips quiver while his eye twitches.

"This is not happening. This can’t be happening!"

He sputters more gibberish and runs in circles, trying to get a better look at himself, but he can’t get a good view much to his panicked dismay. However, he does spot a clear river conveniently close to where he is, and he runs over to it as fast as he can. He trips over himself quiet a bit along the way, and when he reaches the river, he trips over himself yet again and lands in the water. He scrambles to his feet and coughs out the water and watches in horror as the ripples clear away to reveal what he has become.

He sees a rippled blob with a brown base with green and white somethings in the middle, and a dark brown blob on top of the main blob.

“No” whispers Julius in disbelief

The blobs become clearer, he’s definitely got a round head and big eyes.

“No!”

The bobs form into a clear image of what he has become. An earth pony with a brown coat, a messy dark brown tail and mane, and big green eyes.

“NOOO!!!”

Julius furiously stomps on the water and swears like a sailor as if by doing this, he’ll be returned as a Human. He can’t believe this! The very people he works for, the ones he’s trusted and been with for twenty years, did this to him!

He grinds his teeth to near breaking point and stomps and thrashes around in the water for a few more seconds before slumping down and sobbing.

*****

+++5 Hours Earlier+++

Julius marches down the metal corridor of the “Christopher Columbus”; the name is not very creative, but it serves as a constant reminder that their mission is to explore the galaxy for search of other life. However, with the way things are, he’s not sure if he wants to find more life. Sure, Humans have colonized other planets, and most have gotten off without too much problems, but he just recently finished his work as a translator for a station on a planet that’s going through a war so devastating it makes World War 3 look like a tribal skirmish. And after that tour of his, the company he works for, Arx Corporation, has been commissioned by the Federation of United Systems to go explore the galaxy for new life. Naturally, they have sent the ship an escort and have officials, both military and suits, to oversee the operation to make sure that Arx Corporation doesn’t do anything stupid. However, from what Julius has heard that this exploratory thing is a lot like the railroad expansions seen in Nineteenth Century America. There are multiple companies competing to get the most planets. The deal is that they get to keep a generous portion of what they find while the government provides them with protection.

Enter Julius Burns. The bigwigs of Arx Corporation loved his profile and his uncanny ability to learn entire languages in a matter of a few days. So what do they do? They send him on an exploratory mission as, what else, a translator. He finds his position stupid, though. What do they expect? Meet another alien, say “I come in peace”, and then viola! Instant language learn! They don’t understand that his secret is not a supernatural gift, but constant studying and isolation from distractions when doing so.

“Stupid bureaucrats” grumbles Juluis

Julius steps into the office of his boss, Mr. Capone, the overweight, cigar smoking man in the suit that can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

When Julius enters the room he sees Mr. Capone in his seat watching the battle cruisers of the Federation glide next to them. They are above a lush planet that looks a lot like Earth. A blue sky, white clouds, plenty of land of varying vegetation. The only thing different is that the landmasses are differently shaped, and the inhabitants are intelligent quadrupeds. They have been monitoring the planet for a couple of weeks, and have called it “Planet EX-221”; however, when they found out that the creatures called it Equestria (thanks to Julius’s translation), they renamed it to the proper.

“Dear Mr. Capone, I just want to make things very clear. I do NOT want to go to Equestria. And there is nothing you can say or do that will make me go. Sincerely, Julius Burns” says Mr. Capone dramatically

“I see you read my letter” says Julius dryly

Mr. Capone smirks and faces Julius.

“Short and to the point, something I admire in most cases, but my decision still stands. You’re going down there” says Mr. Capone as he prepares a cigar for smoking

“Sir, with all due respect, I-”

“What ever it is that your going to bitch about I don’t want to hear it. But I do want to show you something that will revolutionize everything”

Mr. Capone lights his cigar and walks out of his office with Julius reluctantly following suit. As they walk down the hallway, they pass armed guards, scientists talking about their work, and other people whose purpose is unknown. Mr. Capone leads Julius into a circular, high-tech room with people lying in cyrotubes, strapped to machinery. Next to those tubes are other cyrotubes that have other things inside, but before he can get a closer look at them, Mr. Capone whistles Julius over to the control area of the room. It is being controlled by a pretty woman roughly the same age as Julius, but she’s too busy for small talk.

“Tell me, have you ever wanted to switch bodies with someone?” asks Mr. Capone

“You mean like living the life of a celebrity? Yeah, I guess it has crossed my mind a few times” replies Julius

“Well, Julius, now is your chance to live the life of someone else”

“Yeah...I don’t really like where this is going”

The woman operating the work station smiles reassuringly at Julius and says “You’ll have nothing to worry about. We took every precaution to ensure that you and your host are compatible”

Julius stares at her, and then at Mr. Capone, and then at the cyrotubes in the room.

“How many?” he asks

“Twenty, all are ready to go, and we’re just waiting for you” replies Mr. Capone

“Why me”

“All these men and women will be scattered throughout Equestria on a set task. And your task is to become part of their little community and see how they live. Find out what they eat, how they sleep, what their social practices are, and all that jazz that leads to fruitful negotiations”

“That is a lot to put on one translator”

“But your the best”

“But there is a problem”

Mr. Capone takes a puff of his cigar and blows the smoke in Julius’s face before saying “Oh, and what is that”

“I refuse to go down there. I’m a translator, not a field scientist”

Mr. Capone sighs and drums his fingers against the railing of the control station.

“Well,” sighs Mr. Capone “that is a problem”

What happens next is a blur, but it ends up with him getting stuffed in the cyrotube and sealed inside, completely motionless, and then blacking out a minute later.

*****

Julius stares at his reflection in the water; that ugly thing called an “earth pony”. Never would he have guessed that he would be put in such a situation as this. Sure he thought about what it would be like to live the life of someone else, but that was when he was younger and followed the trends and fandoms. He’s wondered what it would be like to be part of a band, be a famous actor, a powerful politician, or even a celebrity that is famous for no apparent reason. But having his soul sucked out and put into another body (or whatever the Hell happened to him) was not only ridiculous, but unethical and a complete violation of the laws of life!

He sits down in the water, not even caring that his coat is covered in mud, or that he’s become numb from the cold water, and he cries softly. This is not even close to fair. What happened is the exact opposite of fair and is the biggest screw over that's he's ever been the victim of.

“Mr. Burns, this is Elizabeth, can you hear me?” asks a familiar voice

His ears perk up and look around, but he doesn’t see anyone, so he sulks back in the water.

“Great, now I’m going insane” grumbles Julius

His ears perk up again, and he scowls. His voice is completely different! He has a slight, Texan drawl. They turned him into a pony with a Texan accent. What. The. Hell.

“You’re not going insane,” reassures Elizabeth “we put these communicators in your brain so we can always be in touch with you”

Julius jumps to his feet and looks around frantically. He recognizes her voice! She’s the one in the control panel, watching everything!

“We see what you see and hear what you hear” continues Elizabeth

“What the Hell are you doing in my head!” yells Julius

“I told you, we’re keeping an eye on you”

“So you’re going to watch me piss and shit too”

“Yes”

Julius groans and marches out of the water to bang his head against a tree.

“Wake! Up! Wake! up! Wake! Up! Wake! UP!” Julius orders himself while banging his head against the tree as hard as he can

“You aren’t asleep, you are fully awake and bashing your head against the tree will only bring you pain and possibly a concussion, which would be counterproductive to your mission” says Elizabeth matter-of-factly

“What did you do to me!”

“We put your conscious in the body of your host, and suppressed your host’s conscious”

“How the Hell-Never mind! The Federation will hear about this and-”

“The Federation contracted this project and approved of every measure. Now stay focused. Your objective is to-”

“The government said ‘Go ahead and force a guy’s mind into a pony’s body, it’ll be hilarious’? I call bullshit!”

“Stay focused, Julius. Remember your objective”

Julius walks onto a well paved road that has signs pointing towards different towns and cities. He tries to determine which path he should pick, but with all the chaos in his mind, he can’t think straight.

“Your pony name is ‘Book Worm’, by the way” says Elizabeth casually

“Book Worm” moans Julius in disbelief; they just love giving him the short end of the stick

“Yes, ‘Book Worm’, that is the name you are to use around the inhabitants to lower their suspicions:”

Julius chuckles madly and begins his walk to wherever. He has no clue as to where he’s going, all he knows is that he’s been emotionally raped and left for dead. Everything about this trip sucks!

“Also, your cutie mark is a book and a pen, put it to good use” finishes Elizabeth

“I’m suing you guys when I get my body back” grumbles Julius

“At least you know their language”

“Wouldn’t have been easier to just fly down in our fancy ships and whoo these ponies into liking us?”

“I’m not the one to say what is easy or not, I’m just here to monitor you. And you are, by far, the biggest whiner I’ve ever met”

“My apologies, maybe next time I’m forced inside a pony’s body I’ll sing and dance a musical number for you”

Julius continues walking towards wherever, blocking out Elizabeth’s chatter and thinking how he can get out of the mess he’s been forced in, and how good of a lawyer he’s going to need to bring Arx Corporation and the Federation Government to court for the shit they’ve done to him. No doubt it’ll be expensive, and bring in lots of news coverage. But he digresses. He’s here, on a planet he never wanted to go on, all because of some kind of twisted logic, so he might as well get the job done and-

Bleep!

A small topographical map of the area appears in the corner of Julius’s vision and Elizabeth appears in the other corner, sitting in her chair and looking at him via camera. Julius screams, jumps a few feet in the air, and nearly has a heart attack. He tries to clutch his chest, but he loses his balance after a couple of seconds of standing on three hooves and ends up falling over. He scrambles to his feet and decides it’s best to lay down by the side of the road. He can barely hear Elizabeth over his thundering heartbeats, but he can tell she’s enjoying this way too much by that smug smile of hers and her equally smug tone.

“Do you like it?” asks Elizabeth teasingly “We just now got it to work, so all the ground teams are seeing these maps”

Julius closes his eyes. Elizabeth and the map disappear.

He opens them. They reappear.

“What the Hell did you do! What is this!?” demands Julius

“Your host had some adjustments, it’ll be easier for us to talk and easier for you not to get lost” Elizabeth says with a triumphant grin

Her voice is also off-sync by a second. That’s going to get annoying real quick.

Julius blinks and shakes his head violently in a feeble attempt to get her and the stupid map out of his eyesight. But, naturally, he has no luck. However, he does spot a little marker pointing towards something off of the map that is labeled “Ponyville-P.O.I.”. He now knows where he’s going, so he gets up and heads towards the marked location. Estimated time of arrival: five hours. Fantastic.

“Okay, let me get this straight. You force me into the body of a pony, have direct communication with me, see and hear everything I say and do, and now I have a map and you constantly in my vision” says Julius angrily

Elizabeth nods.

“So if I’m eating, I’ll see you and this map”

Elizabeth nods again.

“And if I’m taking a dump or a leak, you’ll be there watching”

Elizabeth nods and casually says “We’re also tracking your every move just so we know where you are”

“This is a complete violation of my personal liberties and privacy, you do realize that right?”

“It’s for your own safety”

Julius sighs heavily as he shakes his head in disbelief. This day is getting worse by the minute, and he can feel the curse of a lifelong extreme paranoia seeping in. No amount of money or sweet talk will cover the psychological damage they just inflicted on him.

***

It getting close to nightfall, and Twilight Sparkle is on her way back to her home from Fluttershy’s cabin. What was originally supposed to be Twilight delivering a book on how to tame unruly rabbits, turned into a day of casual talking and tea time. Well, for Twilight it was tea, but for Fluttershy it was juice boxes. Lots and lots of juice boxes. The amount of juice that the soft spoken mare can drink still amazes Twilight. However, she’s not going to complain, because when it came down to it, she’d rather have Fluttershy continue drinking juice boxes by the twelve pack than her drinking any alcoholic beverages. She still remembers that fateful night when Fluttershy got trashed just by drinking a third (or was it a quarter?) of cider at the bar. Hilarity ensued, followed closely behind Fluttershy almost dying from embarrassment.

While Twilight thinks about the other crazy adventures she and her friends had that didn’t involve life threatening situations, she spots a figure walking towards her with each step appearing to be a struggle. His tongue is lolling out of his mouth, and he’s dripping with sweat and it kind of sounds like he’s counting. Twilight gallops over to him to help and when she’s closer she sees that he is like a brown, stallion version of Pinkie Pie. His mane and tail are a darker shade of his brown coat, making his appearance look...boring, and he also has big green eyes. He instinctively puts his hoof on Twilight’s back for support and smiles wryly at her.

“Thanks...for the...back” wheezes the stallion

“Are you okay?” asks Twilight concerningly “You look like you’ve been traveling for quiet some time”

The stallion sprawls on the ground and rubs his legs over the cool grass. She hears him sigh softly, like he’s dreaming, and he almost passes out on the spot. When Twilight leans down to get his attention, his eyes snap to her and he smiles apologetically.

“Sorry, but I have been traveling for  a very, very, very long time in search of a place of interest called ‘Ponyville’” says the stallion tiredly

“Oh, that’s where I’m heading right now. Do you want to walk together. Or do you want me to carry you?”

The earth pony dismisses her offer with a lazy wave of his hoof and he stands up with some help from Twilight. And they begin their walk towards Ponyville.

“So, where are you from?” asks Twilight

He looks up at the sky like he’s searching for something, and then he looks at Twilight. From the looks of it, he’s torn between whether or not he should tell her. Twilight gives him a warm smile to assure him that she won’t bite.

“It’s okay, you can tell me” says Twilight kindly

“I...I am from a faraway place called the Federation of United Syst-Tribes. Federation of United Tribes. F.U.T.” he says unsurely

“You don’t sound so sure about yourself. And I’ve never heard of the F.U.T. and I’ve read every book about the nations of Equestria”

“It’s so far your books will never find it”

Twilight giggles and the stallion also shares a chuckle, but then quickly bats his eyes and grumbles unintelligibly. Twilight looks at him curiously and cocks her head slightly.

“Are you okay?” asks Twilight

“I’m fine,” says the stallion (still blinking like mad) “just got some dirt and a very annoying bug in my eye”

Twilight’s eyes widen. That is one heck of a combo for eye irritation. Dirt and bugs in the eye at the same time. Something that doesn’t happen too often. She’s about to make a statement about the poor pony’s bad luck, but then she notices his cutie mark. A book and a pen. He’s an intellectual! Finally a pony she can relate to!

“So,” begins Twilight slowly, not wanting to scare him off “I noticed your cutie mark is a book and pen”

“Yeah, I’m a translator” says the pony

“Oh wow! That is so cool!”

Twilight goes off on a tangent of questions that would make Pinkie Pie proud. The stallion has to politely tell Twilight to knock it off for her to stop. Twilight blushes shamefully and quickly apologizes.

“It’s alright” sighs the pony “I’ve just been having a bad day is all and I would really like to go home to give my boss and my government a piece of my mind. And probably yank out a few teeth as well”

“Why? What happened?” gasps Twilight

“Personal, and very awkward, issues that I’d rather not talk about...So, what’s your name?”

Twilight is taken back by the sudden question, but she quickly recovers and extends her hoof.

“Twilight Sparkle. Personal student of Princess Celestia” says Twilight proudly

Their hooves touch and they continue walking. But the stallion doesn’t give his name, which slightly annoys Twilight.

“So...what’s your name?” asks Twilight

“My-my name?” stammers the pony

Twilight nods and the pony cringes and mumbles what sounds like an argument with himself in a foreign language. Twilight doesn’t know if she should be concerned about this or not. But before she can say or do anything-

“Julius” blurts the pony

“Julius? That’s an odd name for a pony” says Twilight while arching an eyebrow

“Did I say Julius? I meant Book Worm”

“Book Worm?”

“Yep, Book Julius Worm the Third. But you may call me Julius, because Book Worm sucks as a name, and is liable for a bank breaking lawsuit in my opinion”

“Uh huh...listen, if you need a place to stay I’m more than willing-”

“Wait” says Julius with a quick raise of his hoof; he shakes in place for a moment like he’s losing his balance, and then he puts his hoof down before he continues “Before you say ‘You can stay at my place’ are you married?”

Twilight and Julius have a short staring contest. Both of them have curious looks, but Twilight has a “What kind of question is that?” kind of face while Julius looks like he’s worried that he’d get his flank kicked by a buff stallion if she is.

“No” Twilight finally answers

“Okay,” breathes Julius “Not married. Do you have a boyfriend?”

“A what?”

“A male buddy. You know, friends with benefits?”

Twilight can see where the conversation is heading; and she finds it uncomfortable, inappropriate, and just plain weird. She now regrets talking to this pony who obviously wants to have some “fun”.

“Good bye, Julius” sneers Twilight

Twilight sticks her nose in the air, and swiftly turns around while being sure to give the perv a tail whip to his face. She can practically see him cringe, but she doesn’t look back. She’s heading home and this time, there will be no more distractions. And to make sure that he doesn’t follow her, she gallops down the road.

***

Julius tenderly rubs his cheek where the tail struck. It didn’t hurt, but it did feel weird getting a tail to the face. Monitoring the planet has shown that this action is one of the most horrible, most insulting acts, a pony can do. This further reinforces his conviction that the day is the worst day in his life.

“Smooth” says Elizabeth sarcastically

Julius ignores her and runs after the purple unicorn. She’s his first contact and by God he’s not going to sleep outside! If anything, he’d be glad if she let him sleep on a couch or at least give him directions to a homeless shelter. He doesn’t even care that his legs are feeling like jelly, he refuses to lose his first, and so far only, contact. Plus, he needs to apologize for his poor choice of words.

“Call me crazy, but I think you were trying to tell us something” continues Elizabeth

“Oh really? What gave you that idea?” asks Julius, his voice dripping with sarcasm

“Emphasized ‘words’ during your horsey conversation”

“It’s not ‘horsey’, it’s Equestrian, and it is a hard language to learn”

***

Twilight can hear Julius talking in a weird language, and following her like a lost puppy too.

‘Wow, he sucks at sneaking’ thinks Twilight

However, she does believe that this weird language he’s speaking enforces his claim that he’s from a faraway kingdom. But then again, he could also be crazy. She stops turns around, and wraps Julius in a magical mist and lifts him up. He screams in terror and flails his legs.

“Put me down!” yells Julius

“Why are you following me!” shouts Twilight angrily

“Because-because you are the first person I met out of this whole miserable experience here!”

Twilight is not convinced.

“Plus, I wanted to apologize for my poor choice of words. I know they sounded um weird and all, but that is not what I had intended! I have a job to do here and that is to observe your people” continues Julius desperately

“‘Your people’” mutters Twilight under her breath

“So that when my people come there won’t be any misunderstandings! Believe me, I don’t want to be here! But I have a job to do and the quicker I do this, the quicker I can get home and-and...well you get the idea”

Twilight drops him and he lands on the ground with a grunt and sprawled out like a rug. He clumsily gets back on his hooves and shakes the dirt off of himself before he approaches Twilight carefully.

“Please, just let me stay with you, or at least point me to a homeless shelter” says Julius pathetically

Twilight watches in pity as his head, shoulders, and ears droop. Twilight groans, knowing she can’t turn down an obvious desperate stranger from a distant land. Plus, he did apologize for his behavior earlier. Whether or not the apology was authentic is debatable, but she can’t leave him out in the wilderness, alone, during Zap Apple Season.

“Fine, you can spend the night at my place” says Twilight

“Like how you were offering before I said those stupid things?” asks Julius to clarify what she means

“Right. You can sleep on the couch, I’m sure I can find you a blanket”

“Thank you”

“But before we go anywhere, what did you mean by ‘your people’?”

“Uh...is that a trick question?”

“Never mind”

***

Julius walks in after Twilight into her house, which served as a public library as well. Or so she says, he personally thinks that she’s a bookworm. When Twilight escorts him to the couch he practically drools in anticipation for a much deserved sleep. But then it hits him. He has no idea what will happen if he sleeps. Will he wake up the next day as “Book Worm”, or will he wake up as Julius Burns, locked in a cyrotube. He sighs depressingly at his predicament right as Twilight returns with an extra blanket. She stops and looks at Julius with a mix of worry and curiosity.

“What’s wrong?” asks Twilight

“I’m just wondering what would happen to me if I fall asleep” replies Julius distantly

“Um...when you fall asleep, you usually...sleep, and wake up the next day refreshed”

“Yeah, I don’t know if that’s going to happen?”

Twilight puts the blanket on the couch and sits down, completely intrigued by Julius’s word choice.

“What do you mean?” asks Twilight inquiringly

“I mean, I have a...a disease of some kind that makes me feel...not normal, at all” replies Julius cryptically

“I’m not following”

“It’s hard to explain”

“Is there a cure”

Julius shakes his head and looks at Twilight sadly.

“As far as I know...there is no cure for the disease I have. I don’t even know if I can, or want, to wake up tomorrow” says Julius depressingly

“Okay, you’re starting to creep me out” says Twilight

“Sorry...Sorry, this thing I have is not contagious, so you’ll be fine. But I guess I should go to bed”

Julius yawns and hops on the couch, and then he awkwardly pulls the blanket over himself and closes his eyes.

“Good night” yawns Julius

He hears Twilight wish him a good night as well and leave for her room. A few seconds later, he feels everything fade away into the nothingness and-

*****

Julius suddenly wakes up in the tube as it slides open, making a small hissing sound in the process, and when he sits up he gags and hacks up a glob of mucus in a bucket conveniently placed near him. The process of puking out the mucus left tears in his eyes, but his windpipe felt brand new. He looks around and sees the others sitting up and coughing mucus into the buckets as well.

“Did you enjoy your trip?” asks Mr. Capone smugly

Mr. Capone holds out his hand and helps Julius out of the cyrotube, and when he’s standing, Julius brushes invisible dust off of himself and gets the feelings back to his limbs. It feels so good to feel like a Human again! And he’s eager to give Elizabeth a piece of his mind for screwing with him. But after a quick scan, he doesn’t see her anywhere. Julius sighs and slumps against the wall. He feels sick, not because Elizabeth isn’t there for a tongue lashing, but because of all the crap he’s been through. It was exhausting, and now that he’s back in his body, he has to get used to walking on two legs again. Plus, he feels like he’s going to hurl. It’s got to be the sudden change in environment.

‘Where the heck did she go?’ wonders Julius

“Still thinking about suing us?” jokes Mr. Capone

Julius wipes his nose and glares at his boss.

“What do you think?” Julius says with justified harshness

“You must understand that we picked you because of your knack to learn languages quickly, and you have no background of violence, so you were a perfect choice” says Mr. Capone casually

“You forced me into the body of a pony!”

“For the greater good. We found this planet, it will be colonized, and it will benefit our company, the Federation, and this planet”

“Oh, so you forced this on me because underneath your chubby, cigar smoking exterior, you’re really just a sweet guy”

“Basically”

Julius scoffs and stomps towards the door.

“Where are you going” demands Mr. Capone without looking at Julius

“I’m going to my room and putting in my two weeks notice” seethes Julius

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you”

The crowd stops their casual talking and Julius and Mr. Capone turn to face each other.

“If you put in your two weeks then we’d be obligated to send you to the nearest system, which is expensive, but not the least of our worries. If you leave, then we’d have to find another translator. One who will, without a doubt, not be as talented as you which can -and will- lead to some problems”

Mr. Capone strolls towards Julius.

“But not only that, your host is in a permanent state of comatose and he cannot be anyone else’s host. If you leave, he won’t wake up and will die a slow, agonizing death. Like a vegetable rotting away on a sidewalk”

Mr. Capone is now in toe to toe with Julius.

“What happened was regrettable, but orders are orders, I really had no choice. But think about this. What you participated in was amazing, and you’ll be making history...provided that you don’t leave and kill your host”

Mr. Capone smiles and lightly pats Julius’s cheek.

“Think about it. If you need me I’ll be in my office”

Mr. Capone pulls out another cigar and walks out of the room calm as can be. Julius eyes shift around the room and sees that they are all looking at him, but they quickly look away and go back to their conversations. Julius groans and rubs his face with Mr. Capone’s words echoing in his mind.

*****

Twilight wakes up and stretches herself out to the point where her bones crack. After cracking, a wave of pleasant, relaxing feelings ripple throughout her body and she sighs blissfully.

“That felt good” says Twilight to herself

She then remembers that Book Julius Worm the Third is downstairs, lying on the couch. His cryptic words replay in Twilight’s mind just like they did the night before, but this time it is more intense since it’s now morning and he did say:

“There is no cure for the disease I have. I don’t even know if I can, or want, to wake up tomorrow”

When Twilight reaches the bottom of the stairs she sees the couch is empty...and Julius sitting by the window watching the scenery in total silence. His shoulders are also sulked and his head is slightly bowed, like he can’t decide if he wants to stare at the floor or the outside world. Twilight finds this concerning and she quietly approaches Julius.

“Are you okay?” asks Twilight

Julius sighs, turns his head slightly so that he can see Twilight out of the corner of his eye and says “I have work to do”

END...

+++

Author’s Note

+++

Yeah, yeah, I know what your thinking:

“Dude! What the f**k! You are a f**king monster for putting in that horrible cliffhanger! CHEAP ENDING!!! CHEAP ENDING!!!”

(Probably throw some tomatoes, potatoes, and anything else that end with -oes at me too for pulling such a dick move)

And this is my response:

But in all seriousness, this was a test run for Google Docs. I don’t have Microsoft Office on my new computer (yet) so I’m stuck with Google Docs for now. I’m not going to gripe about Google Docs, I already have a blog entry that expresses some of my disdain for it, but instead I’ll give a few justifications as to why I wrote this fan fiction the way I did.

1) I wanted to try the HiE thing because it does seem interesting, but I also didn’t want to have the usual cliches of an HiE story. My goal was to put something new, even if it is a rip off of something else in retrospect. Bringing me to number two.

2) In case you didn’t realize it, I kinda ripped off James Cameron’s Avatar. And I’ll admit that the beginning of this One-Shot is kinda stupid. And kinda might be too soft of a word. But, I digress. I liked the concept of that mind-switching thingamajig that was used in Avatar and I’ve seen, and heard of, HiE stories where Humans die and have their souls put in pony bodies, or something like that and I wanted to put a twist on the Human-Pony Switcharoo thing...even if the concept was borrowed from a famous movie.

3) I wanted to work on One-Shots and experiment with my writing style. But curse my overactive brain and poor One-Shot writing skills for leaving you guys with more questions than answers! But that is why we practice, am I right?

And...that is all I have for my notes. Good day and God Bless B-)