Undead Robot Bug Crusaders

by Banjo64

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 137273

Scootaloo has a secret. So do Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. What happens when the truth comes out?

Scootaloo has a secret. One that she's been hiding her whole life, and after the royal wedding has no choice but to share.

Apple Bloom has a secret. One that she's been hiding for six months, and is still terrified of.

Sweetie Belle has a secret. One that she's been hiding for... well, she doesn't know how long, and is looking for answers to.

So what happens when three not-ponies find out their friends aren't ponies either?

Well, one thing's for certain: they're going to have to come up with a new name for their club. Hopefully one better than the title.

Cover by Crimsion Ink

First few chapters edited by metallusionsismagic, AppleTank, and the last few chapters edited by Crocoshark, Bahamuttone

Featured May 30, 2015!

Published 2015-05-29 20:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-02-27 00:58:21 UTC

Prologue: Behold, My True Form

“Alright Scootaloo, this is it. The night you finally tell the girls the truth,” Scootaloo mumbled to herself as she paced back and forth outside the CMC clubhouse.

Scootaloo shivered, despite the warm summer air. She was not looking forward to this, but her mother had insisted she tell her friends sooner rather than later, and a weekend sleepover was as good a time as any.

Of course, it was also a good time to panic.

What if Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle freak out? she thought as she fiddled with her tail. What if they don’t believe it’s really me? What if-

Don’t worry, my little firefly, the voice of Scootaloo’s mother echoed in her mind. Your friendship with them is stronger than you think. They will not abandon you.

But what if they do? Scootaloo asked.

Please, Scootaloo. Have a little more faith in your friends, her mother replied.

Scootaloo took a deep breath and let it out.

You’re right, mom. I shouldn’t worry. I mean, if Rainbow Dash took my secret as well as she did, there’s no reason Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle won’t too! Except that I told Rainbow before the wedding and…

Scootaloo facehooved.

“Enough with the doubts, Scoots. Just get in there and do it before you lose your nerve. Again,” she mumbled to herself.

“Hey, Scootaloo! What took ya so long?” asked Apple Bloom.

Inside the clubhouse, Scootaloo found her friends waiting for her. Apple Bloom was setting up the sleeping bags and Sweetie Belle was curled up in a bean-bag with a book. She gave Scootaloo a wave before turning back to her reading.

“Sorry girls, I just had a few... family issues to work out,” said Scootaloo.

Another half-truth. How many more am I going to make before I just say it? she pondered.

Apple Bloom looked at Scootaloo with a raised eyebrow.

“Ya seem to be havin’ a lot of those lately. Is somethin’ wrong?” asked Apple Bloom.

“No, nothing like that. The royal wedding just made my mom a bit... edgy,” answered Scootaloo.

“Scoots, the weddin’ was three weeks ago,” Apple Bloom deadpanned.

Scootaloo sighed. So much for stalling. “Ok, so it’s more complicated than that. The truth is I...”

Scootaloo rubbed her legs together nervously, took a deep breath, and forced herself to speak.

“I... have something I need to tell you two,” she said.

Apple Bloom gasped, and Sweetie Belle looked up from her book.

“Don’t tell me yer movin’!” said Apple Bloom.

“No, no. Nothing like that. It’s more of a... secret that I’ve been hiding from you girls,” said Scootaloo waving a hoof.

“Whew. For a moment there Ah was scared ya were leavin’ us! So… what’s the secret? Ya have a coltfriend or somthin’?" asked Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo blinked and then facehooved.

“Really, Apple Bloom? Your first guess is a coltfriend?” she asked.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle shared a look.

“Your guess, not mine,” said Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom answered with an eye roll.

Scootaloo sighed.

“Well, it’s not that. You see, I...” she started, but she just couldn’t bring herself to continue. Instead she looked at the floor.

This is even harder to do than I thought it would be...

Scootaloo felt a hoof rest on her back.

“If it’s really that tough to tell us, then ya don’t have to. Though ah can’t promise not to bug ya till ya do,” said Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo shook her head.

“No, I do have to. Hay, I should have told you two sooner. And my mom told me I’m out of excuses because of the wedding, but...” she sighed again.

“Ya’ll are still nervous about it. Whatever it is, ah promise ah won’t think worse of ya for it,” said Apple Bloom.

“Unless you’re a serial killer,” added Sweetie Belle.

Silence fell over the clubhouse for a moment, as Apple Bloom turned to glare at her friend.

“Sweetie, where do ya come up with that trash?!” she asked.

Sweetie shrugged.

“I'm not saying she is, just that I would hold against her if she was,” she said.

Scootaloo couldn’t help but giggle despite her rising dread.

“Really Sweetie? The first thing you think of when I say I have a secret is that I’m a serial killer? Apple Bloom’s guess was dumb, but wasn’t nearly that dumb!” she said.

“Well, Rarity’s been reading a lot of weird books lately. I guess I’ve been poking through her stuff too much,” said Sweetie.

“Ah’ll say. Ah never took ya for th’ kind tah read books about space ponies,” said Apple Bloom.

Now that she mentioned it, Scootaloo noticed that Sweetie’s book was indeed a science fiction story. Unless there was some other genre she didn’t know about that had laser wielding robots on the cover.

“Oh, this isn’t my sister’s. Pinkie Pie gave it to me. She said something about how it’d be ‘enlightening’. I’ve only read a few chapters so far, but it’s really dumb. I mean, why would anypony build robots that run on peanut butter?” said Sweetie Belle.

“Huh. That’s weird,” said Apple Bloom, putting a hoof to her mouth.

“The robots or that Pinkie Pie gave her a book?” asked Scootaloo.

“Both really. But ah think we’re gettin’ off track. Don’t ya have somethin’ to tell us, Scootaloo?” asked Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo sighed once again.

“Yeah. You’re right. Ok... The truth is... I’m... I’m...” she hesitated.

Scootaloo took a deep breath, then took another one, before closing her eyes and saying: “I’m... not a pegasus.”

The room was silent for a moment.

“Uh… Scoots? Ya sure about that? Ah mean, ya have wings and all,” said Apple Bloom.

“No, I’m serious. I’m not a pegasus. I’m not even a pony!” said Scootaloo, before shoving her face into her hooves, not able to look her friends in the eye. She knew that it was only a matter of time before they figured it out now.

“So… yer some kind of winged zebra? Ah don’t see any stripes...” said Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo learned something very important that night: it’s hard to facehoof if your face is already in your hooves.

“Scootaloo, you said you wanted to tell us because of the wedding. And if you’re not a pony then... you’re a changeling?!” asked Sweetie Belle, her voice hesitant.

There it was. The sentence Scootaloo had been dreading for years. She didn’t say anything, but green flames started forming over her.

A flash later, and Scootaloo was in her true form. In front of her friends. Scootaloo heard her friends gasp. She kept her head down, waiting with bated breath to hear their reactions.

“Scootaloo...” started Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo cringed.

“Yer the weirdest lookin' changeling Ah’ve ever seen,” said Apple Bloom.

Wait... What? thought Scootaloo.

“Ah mean, ain’t changelings supposed to be black? And have holes in their legs? And have a weird fin thingy instead of a mane?” asked Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo looked up to see Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle giving her puzzled looks. She had been expecting many different responses from her friends, but that was not one of them.

It was true that Scootaloo’s changeling form was remarkably similar to her pegasus one. She was still orange, even though it was clearly a hardened shell rather than a coat. Her legs were full and hole-free. Her mane and tail, while a bit more patchy, were clearly still her usually purple style. The only really noteworthy differences were that she now had a horn, her wings now looked distinctly insect-like, her new fangs, and her barrel now had some form of purple ridge.

“Seriously?! Your friend is a changeling and your first question is, ‘Why aren’t you black?!’ Yes, my chitin is orange, but I’m still obviously a changeling!” exclaimed Scootaloo, her voice now possessing an echo.

“I don’t really see it. You look more like a unicorn with an extra shiny coat and extra pointy horn,” said Sweetie Belle with a shrug.

“Really? So there’s nothing weird about the bug wings, the fangs, or the natural click of my voice?” deadpanned Scootaloo.

“That echo thing is called a click?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo just groaned and put her face back into her hooves.

Then it hit her.

"Wait... you two... aren’t upset?” she asked, looking hopefully back at her friends.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle looked at each other for a minute and shrugged.

“Nope,” said Apple Bloom.

“Not really,” said Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo’s jaw dropped.

“S-Seriously?! You’re not mad I’ve been lying to you all this time? You’re not going to attack me after the wedding?! You’re not even going to accuse me of replacing the real Scootaloo, or something?!” she asked, her voice full of disbelief.

Apple Bloom answered by walking over the Scootaloo and giving her a hug.

“Not a chance Scoots. It makes sense why ya’d try to hide it, and we were right next to ya the whole time durin’ the wedding. We would have noticed if ya were workin’ with those bad guys,” she added.

“And if you replaced Scootaloo, why would you have told us you were a changeling in the first place? It doesn’t matter if you have feathers or not, you’re still our friend Scootaloo!” added Sweetie Belle as she joined in the hug.

Scootaloo didn’t say anything. She was too busy fighting the tears threatening to fall from her eyes and returning the hug to answer. She could taste their love for her, still as strong as had always been. It felt like a weight had been removed from her... well she had a thorax, not a chest, but the weight had definitely come off of something.

And you were worried they’d leave you, said Scootaloo’s mother over the hive mind.

You were right mom. You were right.

The hug lasted several minutes, before the three broke up. Then the questions began.

"So... why don’t you look like those other changelings from the wedding?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“That was because Chrysalis, the queen of those guys, was draining her hive of all their energy for the invasion. When we’re really hungry our chitin fades to black, our legs start rotting, and our mane and tails start falling out,” said Scootaloo.

“That’s terrible!” said Apple Bloom.

“Yes, it is. And it’s also illegal. Changeling queens are not allowed to take energy from the rest of the hive to the point that they start decaying that badly. In fact, Chrysalis broke pretty much every changeling law in the book during the invasion,” said Scootaloo.

“Changelings have laws?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah. Don’t take the form of a pony that’s still alive and healthy, don’t take love that isn’t being directed to you, don’t reveal yourself to ponies unless you’re getting married, and loads more,” answered Scootaloo.

“So... changelings don’t kidnap random ponies and take their places?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Nope. It’s why nopony knows about us. Really hard to find a race of shapeshifters if there’s no reason to think any exist. Or at least, they didn’t until the wedding. The High Queen Council wasn’t happy about that,” Scootaloo sighed.

Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow.

“But then what’s the point in having cocoons? Or fangs? Or, hay, disguises?” she asked.

Scootaloo shrugged.

“Just because there are laws against it doesn’t mean it’s not possible. It has to do with how we were created. It’s a bit of a long story, and it happened a REALLY long time ago,” she explained.

“Really? Just how long have changelings been around?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Let me put it this way: Clover the Clever was a changeling,” answered Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle put a hoof to her muzzle.

“Huh. You know, that actually makes sense. I mean, she did cast a spell of love to banish the windigoes...” Sweetie Belle trailed off, looking at Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo followed her gaze and noticed that Apple Bloom seemed a little… distracted. She kept looking around the clubhouse and playing with her bow.

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle shared a look, before silently agreeing to put the changeling questions on hold for a bit.

“Apple Bloom? Is something wrong?” Scootaloo asked.

Apple Bloom gave a small jump.

“No! Ah just... well...” Apple Bloom stuttered.

She nervously glanced between the other two before letting out a sigh.

“Ah’ve... Ah’ve been hiding a secret too. And since ya went and told us yours, Ah reckon Ah should do the same. Ah ain’t a pony neither,” she admitted.

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow (or at least whatever a changeling would consider an eyebrow).

“Wait, are you a changeling too, Apple Bloom?!” asked Sweetie Belle.

“No... but it’d probably be better if ah was. At least then ah’d know Scootaloo would be fine with what ah am,” said Apple Bloom.

That... didn’t sound good.

“Just... just promise me ya’ll won’t freak out, ok?” asked Apple Bloom, her nervousness all too clear.

“Uh... Apple Bloom? I’m a shape-shifting bug whose race feeds on love. I think I can handle you being something other than a pony,” said Scootaloo.

“Me too,” said Sweetie Belle with a nod, “You don’t WANT to know some of the stuff I saw when I... er...”

Sweetie paused for a moment.

“Actually, you don’t want to know what I was doing then either. Just trust me, I’ll be fine," reassured Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom gave Sweetie Belle funny looks, but decided that Apple Bloom’s secret was more important right that moment.

Apple Bloom let out another sigh. “Ok... ah’ll show ya then...”

Apple Bloom closed her eyes and slowly started undoing the knot in her bow. It was painfully clear that she was stalling. When it came off, Scootaloo blinked and...

Apple Bloom was gone.

Scootaloo blinked again and noticed that no, Apple Bloom was not gone. Her coat was just black and burnt looking (Scootaloo made a mental note to clean the clubhouse sometime soon; that last attempt at firework based cutie marks was still on the walls), and her mane now made Scootaloo’s messy changeling locks seem fashionable. Then Apple Bloom opened her eyes, revealing solid red orbs with black irises.

“So... what do ya’ll think?” Apple Bloom nervously asked, her voice sounding twisted and broken, even more so than Scootaloo’s click.

“So... you’re a shadow pony?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom just stared.

“What the hay’s a shadow pony?” she asked.

“Well, Rarity mentioned that evil shadow pony who took over that Crystal Kingdom place, so...” said Sweetie Belle.

“Crystal Empire, Sweetie. And I don’t think that’s an actual type of pony,” said Scootaloo.

“Even if they exist, Ah ain’t one. Ah’m a ghoul,” said Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo froze.

Apple Bloom’s a ghoul?! No… no, she can’t mean…

Calm down, Scootaloo. Check first before you say something you’ll regret. Not all ghouls have ties to our enemies, Her mother commanded over the hive mind.

“A ghoul? Isn’t that a kind of like a zombie?” Sweetie said as she put a hoof to her muzzle, snapping Scootaloo back to attention.

“They're similar, but not the same thing, Sweetie,” said Scootaloo before she turned to the ghoul.

“Apple Bloom, I need you to be a hundred and twenty percent honest with me. Have you always been a ghoul?” Scootaloo asked.

“What? No! Ah turned into one after ah ran into a town full of ‘em in the Everfree,” said Apple Bloom with a huff, her friend’s sudden confrontation putting her on guard.

Scootaloo let out a sigh of relief. She had not made friends with one of changelingkind’s enemies.

“Whew... ok, for a second there I thought you were- wait, there’s a town of ghouls in the Everfree Forest?!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

“Not anymore. It vanished the mornin’ after ah found it. Zecora says it ain’t gonna appear again for at least a couple hundred years,” said Apple Bloom with a shake of her head.

Apple Bloom then turned to face her friend, her eyes full of fear. “But never mind that. Why’d ya’ll freak out like that? Yer not upset with me about this are ya?”

Scootaloo sighed, feeling guilty for doubting her friend, even for a moment (and sending a quick thank you to her mother).

“No, nothing like that. It’s just... well, let’s just say that all-natural ghouls don’t get along with changelings. At all. But if you’re just a normal pony cursed into being one, then I for one am perfectly fine with this, and I’m sorry I freaked out. You’re still my friend Apple Bloom, undead or not,” explained Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom smiled, and tears started forming in her eyes.

“Mine too!” said Sweetie Belle before grabbing Apple Bloom into another hug.

CRACK!

Sweetie had hugged Apple Bloom a little too hard. The force caused Apple Bloom’s head to snap off and fall to the ground.

The room was silent for a moment before Apple Bloom’s head groaned.

“Ah hate it when this happens.”

After Apple Bloom pulled herself back together (which proved to be easier than it sounded), she found herself facing a wave of questions instead of Scootaloo.

“So… how long have you been a ghoul?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“About six months. Longer if ya count the two weeks Zecora was sealin’ the curse," said Apple Bloom.

“So THAT’s what you were doing! Told you, Sweetie! She didn’t go to Appeloosa!” Scootaloo cheered and gave a hoof pump.

“But what do you mean sealing it? You still look like a ghoul to me,” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Nah, Zecora just made sure Ah’m not contagious. The ghoul that got me just touched mah hoof," said Apple Bloom.

“So, how do you look normal? And keep your head from falling off all the time?” asked Sweetie Belle, “My hug wasn’t THAT strong…”

“Twilight put a spell on mah bow. Makes mah coat an’ eyes look normal while helpin’ to hold mah body together,” answered Apple Bloom.

“Speaking of which, what’s it like, moving your body parts when they’re not attached to you?” asked Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom grumbled a bit. “Ah don’t like fallin’ apart in the first place. It feels… weird. Like, well, havin’ parts not attached to mah body.”

The clubhouse was silent again while Apple Bloom’s friends gave her unamused looks.

“Well, y'all take yer head off and try to tell me what it feels like!” Apple Bloom said with a huff.

Sweetie Belle put a hoof to her muzzle and gave a hum.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom stared at her.

“Sweetie, you can’t honestly be considering...” Scootaloo started.

“What? No! I’m just trying to imagine how it would feel. I mean, I’m not sure if my head can come off that way,” reassured Sweetie Belle.

Neither Apple Bloom nor Scootaloo were sure how to respond to that. Really, what does one say when her friend is wondering if her head is detachable?

Sweetie Belle noticed the looks she was getting.

“Uh... I was just kidding?” she said while tapping her front hooves together nervously.

Apple Bloom was not impressed. And she was starting to suspect that Sweetie was hiding something too.

“Sweetie?” she asked.

“Yes, Apple Bloom?” answered Sweetie Belle nervously.

“You ain’t a pony neither, are ya?” asked Apple Bloom.

Sweetie didn’t answer right away.

“Now that you mention it, you’re awfully calm for being the only normal pony in a room with a ghoul and a changeling,” added Scootaloo.

“Well, to tell you girls the truth... I don’t know,” said Sweetie Belle.

The clubhouse was again silent for a moment.

“Ya don’t know? How the hay can ya’ll not know if ya’ll are a normal pony or not?!” asked Apple Bloom.

“Hey! I only found out two days ago! I was hoping to find out more about myself before I told you two. Do you really think I’d pretend to be a normal pony when both of my friends aren’t?” Sweetie answered with a huff.

Yet again, the clubhouse fell silent.

“That’s... wow. Only two days? Really? ” said Scootaloo in surprise.

“Yeah... mah first few days as a ghoul were really rough. Ah’m impressed ya ain’t panickin’ about this," said Apple Bloom.

“Two days isn’t much, but it’s still a little time to work things out. Of course, I still don’t know much about myself. For all I know, I could have always been one,” Sweetie Belle answered with a shrug.

“One of what, exactly? Ah mean, if ya’ll are ok with showin’ us that is,” asked Apple Bloom.

“Yeah, it’s OK. Hay, maybe you girls can help me figure this out,” said Sweetie Belle with a wave of a hoof.

Sweetie trotted over and set her plot into the bean-bag, showing her stomach to the other crusaders. She hit her side with her hoof a few times, before there was a loud click. Then Sweetie pulled her gut open.

“AH!!” Scootaloo screamed before covering her eyes. She did not need to see this. “Sweetie! Why in Equestria would you think that would be a good idea!? You don’t have to hurt yourself to show us your secret!”

“Actually... you might wanna see this, Scoots,” said Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo peeked, and saw that Sweetie’s insides didn’t have blood, organs, or anything that could be considered flesh. The hole in her barrel revealed that her insides were made of metal and were full of wires, gears, and other weird looking things. In fact, the part of her ‘skin’ that Sweetie had pulled off looked more like an open door than a wound.

Like a switch had been flipped, Scootaloo suddenly became aware that several parts of Sweetie’s body seemed... fake. Small lines weaved across her coat, her eyes shined like they were made of glass, and her horn tip was a patch of some sort of glowing green material. It didn’t take long for Scootaloo to figure out what she was looking at.

“Sweetie... You’re a robot?!” asked Scootaloo.

“I think so. I might just be a cyborg, or something,” said Sweetie with a shrug. Her voice still sounded normal, surprisingly.

Sweetie snapped her body shut with another click. There was no sign that she had just opened herself up besides the lines dotting along her side.

“That’s weird... how come I never noticed your robot parts?” Scootaloo asked.

“That’s one of the things I actually know. I think. Pinkie said I have some kind of filter spell on me or something. Unless you know I’m a robot, you can’t really see my robotness. Or least that’s what she calls it,” explained Sweetie Belle.

“Ah know yer our dictionary and all, but Ah don’t think that’s a word, Sweetie. And how does Pinkie of all ponies know somethin’ like that?” asked Apple Bloom.

Sweetie gave a huff of annoyance.

“She’s the only pony who knows my secret aside from Rarity. And really, it’s Pinkie Pie,” she said.

“Wait a minute...” said Scootaloo, noticed Pinkie’s book again, “Is that why Pinkie give you that book? To learn more about being a robot?”

“It’s Pinkie Pie!” Sweetie exclaimed again as she threw her hooves up.

“I can’t tell whether she knows exactly what I am and isn’t telling me, or she’s making up everything she told me! I mean, she can’t seem to decide if I’m an alien, from the future, an alien from the future, or some part of an evil army of robots planning to take over the world! And that book is so stupid! How am I supposed to learn anything about myself from reading a book about peanut butter robots?! I don’t run on peanut butter! I don’t even LIKE peanut butter that much!” cried Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie took a few breaths after her rant. Scootaloo took said rant as a sign that Sweetie Belle wasn’t taking the whole being-a-robot thing as well as she was trying to make her friends think she was.

Mom? asked Scootaloo, I don’t suppose you know anything about this? I think Sweetie could use some answers.

Oh my... I’ve never seen anything like this before. I’ll ask among the other hives. Perhaps some other queen has encountered something, or rather someone, similar to your friend.

Ok, let me know if you find anything mom, thought Scootaloo.

Of course, my firefly, came the answer.

“Uh... Sweetie? Is there anythin’ ya do know about yourself?” asked Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle let out another sigh. “Only that my insides are made of metal and I have a ‘full-robot’ mode. I still eat, drink, and sleep like a normal pony, but I’m not. Hay, for all I know I really AM part of a plan to take over the world. I don’t even know if I’m alive...”

Before Sweetie could say anything else, she found herself being hugged this time.

“I can feel your love, Sweetie. As far as I’m concerned, you’re no less a living being than me, Apple Bloom, or anypony else,” said Scootaloo.

“And ah know for a fact that ah AM somethin’ that’s supposed tah be one of the bad guys. Even if ya’ll are part of some plan ta take over the world, ya’ll are still our friend too, Sweetie,” added Apple Bloom.

For the third time that night, the three fillies who were not really fillies fell silent, enjoying each other’s embrace. At least, until Apple Bloom realized something horrifying.

“Wait... if all three of us ain’t normal ponies, does that mean NONE of us can ever get our cutie marks?!” she asked.

“Well… Changelings don’t get cutie marks. We just... sort of chose one when we’ve found our talent. I was just going with you guys to try and figure mine out rather than to actually get the mark to prove it,” Scootaloo said as the three of them broke up from their hug.

“I’m not entirely sure, but I don’t think robots can get cutie marks. I mean, I don’t have a flank to get a cutie mark on, just metal and… whatever the hay my coat’s made of,” added Sweetie Belle.

“And since Ah ain’t alive no more, Ah can’t get one either. Ah was just tryin’ to help y'all get yours after turnin’..." stated Apple Bloom.

The club house fell silent yet again as the girls considered this news, and then Apple Bloom screamed:

“THEN WHAT THE HAY HAVE WE BEEN CRUSADING FOR!?!”

Author's Note

Yay! New story!

And it's still about zombies! Kinda.

Chapter 2: Crusading NOT for Cutie Marks

“Alright, let’s get this Cutie Mark Crusader meetin’ started,” said Apple Bloom from the clubhouse podium.

She was meet with slightly subdued cheers. As is typical of fillies who stayed up WAY past their bedtime, the CMC had slept in that morning. They were still wiping the sleep from their eyes, despite it being well past noon.

Apple Bloom glanced at the day plan in front of her.

“First order a’ business: pickin’ a new name for our club. Any suggestions?” asked Apple Bloom.

She got two groans.

“Apple Bloom, do we really have to change it?” complained Scootaloo.

“Yeah. I like being a Cutie Mark Crusader and not a... Talent Seeker or something,” added Sweetie Belle.

“That’s not a bad name, actually,” said Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle facehooved.

“Look girls, Ah get it. Ah still like the name too. We’ve always been the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and we don’t want to change that. But we’re not crusading for cutie marks anymore. We can’t even get cutie marks anymore. Don’t ya’ll think we should change the name tah show that?” asked Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle shared an uncertain look.

“I… guess?” said Sweetie Belle as she rubbed the back of her neck.

Scootaloo sighed.

“Fine. But only if we can come up with a good name, and I mean a REALLY good one. And the Talent Seekers are a rock band in Trottingham,” she said.

“How do you know that?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Because I’m a bug pony in a hive with other bug ponies, and some of them live in Trottingham and play music for a living,” Scootaloo answered.

“So… they’re fans of the Talent Seekers?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo facehooved.

“Anyway… Talent Seekers is out. Any other ideas?” asked Apple Bloom.

The three fillies each put a hoof to their mouths in thought.

“Friendship Buddies? I mean, we’re friends and stuff…” suggested Scootaloo.

“No, that sounds too bland. How about S.B.A.B.S? I’m pretty sure our initials don’t spell out anything weird in another language. Or maybe A.B.S.B.S?” proposed Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom outbid the others with a faceplant.

“Any good ideas?” she mumbled through the podium.

Half an hour later, the answer was still no. They did not have any good ideas.

“Filly Destiny Team?” suggested Apple Bloom.

“Nah, it sounds like we’re some kind of extra girly group,” said Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom let out a sigh.

“Shoot. We came up with Cutie Mark Crusaders in, like, seconds. Why is it so hard tah come up with another name?” she asked.

“I dunno. Maybe some cosmic force doesn't want us to change the name?” suggested Sweetie Belle.

The clubhouse fell silent.

“Well, it wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to happen to us. Remember what Discord did as thanks for letting him out?” reminded Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom’s eye twitched.

“Yeah, OK. Some cosmic force messin’ with us is definitely less weird than bein’ made of plastic, or whatever the hay that was. Ah still think that ain’t the case though,” said Apple Bloom.

“Either way, we still don’t have any good names,” replied Sweetie Belle with a shrug.

“Well, maybe we could ask somepony else for ideas? How about your mom, Scoots? You can ask her through your hive mind thing, right?” suggested Apple Bloom.

I recommend Friendship Explosion. You three do have a tendency to cause property damage wherever you go. added Scootaloo’s mother.

Gee, thanks mom, thought Scootaloo.

“Yes, but she doesn’t have any ideas either. My mom was never very good with names,” Scootaloo said out loud.

Excuse me? Would you care to repeat that, dear? questioned Scootaloo’s mother.

It’s true and you know it mom, came another voice through the hive mind.

Uno, we’ve had this discussion before… said Scootaloo’s mom before Scootaloo tuned her out.

She didn’t need to hear another tease argument between her mom and oldest brother about his name. But really, how could her mom have not realized these little fights were going to happen when she named her eldest son “one?”

Speaking of numbers...

“I have an idea. What if we ask Sweetie Bot?” said Scootaloo.

“Wait, what?!” exclaimed Sweetie Belle.

“I mean, a super fancy robot has to know some really cool words that we can use, right?” asked Scootaloo.

“I dunno. She got all twitchy last time, and it’s only been a few hours. Are ya up for another go, Sweetie?” asked Apple Bloom as she noted how nervous Sweetie Belle looked.

“Er… I can… I mean, I’m pretty sure that ‘compatibility rejection’ thing is about how long I can go full robot, not how often...” Sweetie stuttered as she rubbed her hooves together.

“What was that, by the way? Do you always start twitching after being Sweetie Bot for a while?” asked Scootaloo.

“Yeah. It kind of feels like my brain freezes up. It starts to really hurt after a bit too. It’s kind of why I hate going full robot,” said Sweetie Belle.

“OK then. Go Sweetie Bot, give us a name idea, and turn it off before the headache starts,” said Scootaloo.

“Besides, maybe if ya spend more time as Sweetie Bot, it’ll hurt less. Ya know, like exercisin’ a muscle,” added Apple Bloom.

“I don’t think that’s how robots work, but I guess it can’t hurt to try,” mumbled Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle’s eyes gave a flicker.

“ALL SYSTEMS ONLINE. UNIT SWEETIE BOT READY FOR INPUT.” said Sweetie Bot.

“OK, real quick: do you have any suggestions for a group name? Maybe something really cool sounding?” asked Scootaloo.

“PROCESSING… PROCESSING… POSSIBLE DESIGNATION IDENTIFIED: ENDOWMENT EVANGELISM,” said Sweetie Bot.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom looked at each other in disbelief.

“Well, we did ask for fancy words,” said Apple Bloom.

“Yeah, but ‘endowment?’ Isn’t that another word for going to the bathroom?” asked Scootaloo.

“UNIT SWEETIE BOT EXPRESSES 2% SATISFACTION WITH SUGGESTION. REQUESTING SECONDARY SEARCH,” said Sweetie Bot.

“Yeah, you do that. And maybe one with words that sound less creepy?” said Scootaloo with a hoof jab.

“PROCESSING… PROCESSING… POSSIBLE DESIGNATION IDENTIFIED: CUTIE MARK ACQUISITION PROGRAM,” said Sweetie Bot.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom facehooved.

“Ya know what? Forget it. We’ll just stick with Cutie Mark Crusaders until one of us comes up with somethin’ half decent,” said Apple Bloom.

“Yeah. When our best option so far sounds like we’re a bunch of calculators, it’s a sign we’ve got nothing,” added Scootaloo.

“UNIT SWEETIE BOT AGREES WITH UNIT SCOOTALOO. SHUTTING DOWN COMPUTATION SYSTEMS…” said Sweetie Bot.

Sweetie’s eyes flickered again, then she shook her head.

“Gah. Even when it doesn’t hurt it makes me feel dizzy,” she said.

“OK, the new name thing was a bust, so let’s move on,” said Apple Bloom as she made her way back to the podium and glanced at the sheet.

“Next on the list is: hanglidin’ for cutie... marks…” she trailed off.

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow.

“Apple Bloom, did you just take our original day plan and scribble the name change thing at the top? Because you know that our plan before the whole ‘we all have secrets’ thing was to spend the entire day crusading,” reminded Scootaloo.

“Um… Well, even if we can’t get cutie marks, we still need to find our talents, right?” said Apple Bloom with a blush.

Scootaloo sighed.

“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure none of us want to be hang gliders for the rest of our lives. I mean, I’m the only one who cares about flying, and I think hang gliding is kind of cheating. Maybe if you two could get cutie marks in it we would want to try, but I’m pretty sure none of us want that talent now that we have to choose ourselves,” explained Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle raised her own eyebrow.

“Wait, then why would you go crusading with us at all? If you can choose your talent, why’d you try baking, swimming, and all the rest of that stuff you didn’t really want to do?” she asked.

“Mostly because I wanted to spend time with you two and help you girls find your talents,” said Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were touched by Scootaloo’s words. Almost literally so as they pulled her into a hug.

“Besides, just because I don’t want to do something for the rest of my life doesn’t mean I don’t want give it a try. It can be fun to try new things,” continued Scootaloo as they broke up the hug.

“Huh,” said Apple Bloom.

She suddenly had an idea.

“Well, why don’t me an’ Sweetie Belle do the same? We all have things we wanna try, so why don’t we go down the list like normal and try ‘em for just fun and such?” suggested Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo thought about it for a moment, then gave a shrug.

“Eh, why not?” she said.

“So… we’re gonna go hang gliding just for fun?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Guess so,” said Apple Bloom with a nod.

The girls had a familiar urge to yell at the top of their lungs, but silently agreed not to. They weren’t really setting out to crusade, and they didn’t want to sound like calculators.

Two hours later, the three of them were making their way to the top of a large hill at the edge of the Whitetail Wood, freshly made hang gliders in hoof. They had been built using the flimsiest leftover cloth from Rarity’s scrap pile they could find so that they’d be nice and light, and held together with the best glue lying around the clubhouse. There was no possible way they wouldn't work.

But then Sweetie Belle thought of something.

“Wait… didn’t you try this one before you met us, Apple Bloom?” she asked.

“Yeah, but that time Rainbow was rushin’ me, and ah didn’t even get off the ground. Ah wanna see if actually glidin’ is any fun. Besides, she hooked me up to a really old glider. Remember when ah got the cutie pox? That fancy new hang glider was a ton easier to use,” said Apple Bloom.

“Yeah, but you also had a fake cutie mark helping you. You’re probably not going to get off the ground this time either,” Scootaloo pointed out.

“Yeah? Well ah bet ah’m gonna fly twice as far as you, dodo!” said Apple Bloom.

“Oh, that joke again? What, the old chicken fall back not funny anymore?” said Scootaloo with a huff.

“Wait, since when was the chicken joke a thing? Wasn’t it just that one time?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well… It was until ah mentioned it tah Pinkie Pie…” said Apple Bloom with a slight blush.

“And she still thinks it’s funny. Now she brings it up every time she sees me. I’m so sick of it. I’m not a chicken!” said Scootaloo angrily.

“Wait… can’t you turn into a chicken? I mean, once you’re older and get better at changing?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo gave her an angry glare.

“Nevermind,” Sweetie Belle said quickly.

Finally, they arrived at the top of the hill, where they found a pleasant wind blowing gently against their gliders. It was perfect for hang gliding.

“Ok, the wind’s goin’ that way, so that’s the way we should glide,” said Apple Bloom as she gestured with a hoof.

“Yeah, but it’s also headed to some oak trees. We’ll only get so far before we crash,” Scootaloo pointed out.

“So? We’re probably gonna crash anyway. It’s not like we know how to properly use these things,” added Sweetie Belle.

“If we crash on the ground we’re less likely to get covered in tree sap,” replied Scootaloo.

“Oh. Yeah, that’s a good point. Should we wait until the wind changes?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Or we could just ask it to,” said Apple Bloom, pointing toward a nearby weather pegasus.

The weather pegasus, Clear Skies, was more than happy to help.

“Ah hang gliding... I used to do it all the time with my friends when I was a filly. It’s a nice, fast way to fly around open skies without having to flap your...” Clear Skies rambled.

“Uh… Mrs. Clear Skies?” interrupted Sweetie Belle.

“Oh! Right, sorry. You girls probably want to hang glide, not listen to me tell stories,” said Clear Skies with a blush.

The CMC sighed, but didn't comment.

“Right, so I’ll be able to shift the wind away from the trees for a bit, but be sure to go quickly, OK? This wind was scheduled for today and some other pegasi are working in the area, so the wind won’t stay changed for long,” said Clear Skies.

“Right. Thanks again, Mrs. Clear Skies,” said Apple Bloom.

“You’re welcome. Have fun, kids,” Clear Skies said before flying off.

“I can never tell whether she’s talking about her husband or the weather,” mumbled Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle nodded in agreement.

“What’s so hard about that?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Because she’s married to Open Skies,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Wait, she’s married tah the sky?” asked Apple Bloom in confusion.

“No, the pegasus named Open Skies,” said Scootaloo with an eye roll.

“Oh. Now ah get it. Ah think,” said Apple Bloom.

A moment later the wind changed, pointed to a more open area.

“Alright girls, let’s do this!” cheered Scootaloo as she set up her glider.

As it turned out, Apple Bloom was wrong. She did not fly twice as far as Scootaloo. Two times zero is still zero.

“WHY?!” Scootaloo cried to the sky.

Her glider’s fabric had torn apart before she’d even jumped.

“First it was the hot air balloon, then it was parachuting, and now this! Why is it always me when it’s about flying?!” complained Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle did a little better. Her glider held together, but she only managed to drift a few meters before she plummeted to the ground. It was a soft landing on a patch of tall grass, but it still trashed her patchy glider.

“I knew I was leaning forward too much,” she mumbled as she pulled herself out the wreckage.

Apple Bloom on the other hoof, actually managed to get some air. Whether it was because of her previous cutie pox driven ride or just plain luck, she found herself airborne and stable.

“Wahoo!” she shouted as she pulled away from the ground. Hang gliding really was fun when you weren’t doing it because of cutie pox and actually got off the ground.

“Guess it wasn’t just the fake cutie mark last time. She’s actually kind of good at this,” commented Sweetie Belle as she watched Apple Bloom fly away from the hilltop.

“She just got lucky that her glider didn’t break,” mumbled Scootaloo as she trotted up to her friend.

Unfortunately for Apple Bloom, Murphy was in the area and he was in a bad mood that day. Suddenly the wind changed, pointed back toward the trees, and sweeped Apple Bloom’s flimsy glider with it.

“Ahh!” screamed Apple Bloom as she frantically tried to change course, but to no avail. Her glider was threatening to tear apart in midair if she fought the wind. What was more, her successful gliding had put her level with the upper branches of the nearest oak tree, leaving her no choice but to brace for leafy (and twiggy) impact.

“Apple Bloom!” cried her friends as they watched in horror as Apple Bloom vanished into the tree’s leaves. The air was filled with painful sounding snaps and cracks for a second, then…

CRUNCH!

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle winced at the sound, and then looked on in shock as broken glider pieces rained out of the tree. They shared a terrified glance at each other before they ran down the hill.

“Apple Bloom, are you ok?!” called Sweetie Belle as they neared the tree.

“Apple Bloom, if you can hear us, say something!” called Scootaloo.

“Mmmnmm…” came a dazed moan from behind the tree.

“Apple Bloom!” cried Sweetie Belle. She looked around the tree to see that Apple Bloom’s head was burnt looking and detached from her body!

Oh, wait. That was a thing she could do.

Apple Bloom spat out a few leaves.

““Mmm… plah! Ah’m OK. Just a bit broken up. Mah bow got caught on a branch and came off,” said Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle let out a relieved sigh. She’d forgotten that Apple Bloom was undead for a moment there.

“Just a bit broken?” gagged Scootaloo as she looked around in disgust.

It wasn’t just Apple Bloom’s head that had come off. Chunks of zombie pony were laying all around them among the bits of ruined hang glider. The only thing keeping Scootaloo from throwing up was that Apple Bloom’s insides seemed more or less intact and, more importantly, still inside.

“Yeah, this ain’t that bad. That time ah fell off the barn was way worse. Still, could ya’ll give me a hoof pullin’ mahself back together?” asked Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle picked up one of the detached hooves and held it out for her.

“Oh, ha ha. Real funny joke, Sweetie,” deadpanned Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle didn’t get it.

“Ok, I think this goes here…” said Scootaloo as she tried attaching one of Apple Bloom’s bits.

“No, that’s part of mah right hind leg!” said Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo let out a sigh. Reassembling Apple Bloom was like doing a puzzle that was all the same color, moved, and complained every time you got a piece wrong. It was also very creepy and disgusting.

“Found another one!” called Sweetie Belle as she tossed another burnt looking bit down.

Oh, and several chunks of Apple Bloom were still stuck in the tree, so Sweetie Belle was busy climbing around trying to find them.

“Wait… This ain’t a bit of me. This is a pinecone,” said Apple Bloom as she looked at the new piece.

“Huh?” said Scootaloo as she looked over herself. Sure enough, it was a pinecone. A burnt and crispy looking pinecone, but a pinecone nonetheless.

“What the hay? Why is there a burnt pinecone in an oak tree?” asked Scootaloo.

“Maybe somepony tried cookin’ it, burnt it, and threw it away?” suggested Apple Bloom.

“Who in Equestria would try to cook a pinecone?” asked Scootaloo.

Meanwhile, a blue unicorn on a rock farm sneezed.

After ten minutes of hard work, Apple Bloom was almost in one piece.

“Any luck with that last part yet Sweetie?” asked Apple Bloom as she pulled twigs out of her reclaimed bow.

It’s enchantment would only work if she was completely pulled together.

“I found it, I’m just having some trouble reaching it,” came Sweetie Belle’s reply.

Scootaloo just let out a sigh as she laid back on the grass. She’d had enough of detached body parts for one day. Or any day for that matter, though she had reluctantly acknowledged that it was kind of unavoidable with a ghoul for a friend. She just hoped that it would get less disgusting with time.

Then she noticed something off about the situation.

“Well, at least it’s official now. We’re not the Cutie Mark Crusaders anymore,” she said.

“What makes ya say that?” asked Apple Bloom.

“You just crashed into a tree, and you don’t have a drop of tree sap on any of your parts,” Scootaloo answered.

“Huh, Guess so. Well then, ah reckon we should try harder to come up with a new...” said Apple Bloom.

“Gah!” shrieked Sweetie Belle before she plummeted to the ground in front of her friends with a loud clunk, a bit of zombie pony in hoof.

“Ugh…” said Sweetie Belle, rubbing her flank.

The landing hadn’t been too painful, but it had knocked a small hatch on her side open.

“Great, another place I can open up. I hope being a robot full of doors means I can’t get a bruise. Anyway, here’s your… you, Apple Bloom," said Sweetie Belle as she passed over the last bit of ghoul pony.

“Thanks. Now ah can get mah bow back on before somepony sees me,” said Apple Bloom as she popped the bit into place.

Unfortunately, Murphy was still in the area, and now he was outright furious.

“Hey, you girls OK? Clear Skies said she changed the wind for you, but Murphy Law noticed and changed it back before…” came the voice of a certain multi-hue maned pegasus.

The trio turned in horror to see Rainbow Dash staring at them, with Sweetie Belle’s side still open and Apple Bloom’s bow still in her hoof.

“Uh…” said Apple Bloom.

“Uh…” said Sweetie Belle.

“Uh… We can explain?” said Scootaloo.

“Uh... huh?” questioned Rainbow Dash with a raised eyebrow.

“OK, let’s go over this one more time. Apple Bloom’s a zombie, which is kind of creepy. Sweetie Belle’s a robot, which is kind of cool. And Scootaloo’s a changeling, which I kind of already knew. That about right?” asked Rainbow Dash.

The CMC nodded, causing Rainbow Dash to sigh.

“You know, this whole thing sounds like one of those really weird movies Pinkie keeps begging me to watch with her. I mean, the last one was about baby hybrid pirate lizards, and I can’t stop thinking how that made more sense than this,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Yeah, it is kind of crazy. And I don’t even know my whole story,” admitted Sweetie Belle.

“By the way Scoots, didn’t you and Fluttershy tell me there’s a law against telling others you’re a changeling? Why’d you tell these two?” asked Rainbow.

“Well…” started Scootaloo before she was interrupted.

“Wait, Fluttershy’s a changeling too?!” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Nah. Fluttershy just happened to find Scootaloo’s hive years ago by accident and made friends with the Queen. She’s been visiting those guys for ages. As for me, I sort of barged in on Flutters and Scoots when they were chatting about it,” said Rainbow with a wave of her hoof.

“And the law says you’re allowed to explain yourself if you’re caught. Well, after the wedding invasion my Queen figured that it’d be a good idea to change the law so disguised changelings can reveal themselves to their friends. You know, to prove that we’re not all evil love sucking monsters?” said Scootaloo.

“Huh. I thought the plan was to let Princess Celestia send a bunch of pony eggheads to visit your hive,” said Rainbow.

“It was, but that’s not going to happen for a few weeks, so the laws are being revised in the meantime,” said Scootaloo.

“Gotcha. Now, what am I going to do with you three?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“What do ya mean? We’re not in trouble, are we?” asked Apple Bloom.

“No, but I’m going to have to tell your sisters I know your secrets now. They’ll kill me later if I don’t. And if I’m telling AJ and Rares, I probably should tell the other girls too. I mean, if Fluttershy and me know Scoots’ secret, Rares and Pinkie know Sweetie's, Twi and AJ know know Apple Bloom’s, and we’re all sharing secrets here, shouldn’t we let my friends in on all this too?” asked Rainbow.

The three not-ponies looked at each other. Rainbow did have a point: it was kind of silly to keep secrets from ponies who already knew that at least one of them wasn't a pony. But on the other hoof, it was still letting other ponies know the truth, something they were still VERY nervous about.

“Er… I’d rather not. I don’t want Twilight to cut me open for science or anything,” Sweetie Belle mumbled as she rubbed her hooves together nervously.

“And ah think Fluttershy’d have a heart attack if she saw me all burnt and red-eyed,” added Apple Bloom.

“And I really don’t want Pinkie finding out and letting it slip with a bug joke, so I think we’ll keep it secret for now,” said Scootaloo.

Rainbow raised an eyebrow.

“I can kind of see where you’re coming from, but seriously? You don’t trust my friends with each other’s secrets, even though they already know some of them?” she asked.

“We’ll tell them eventually. Just not right now. Ah mean, Sweetie found out she was a robot a just few days ago. We just… need some time tah work it out first,” explained Apple Bloom.

“Yeah, sure. ‘Eventually.’ And how are you planning on keeping me quiet till then, huh? I know how to keep a secret, but I hate lying to my friends about things I think they should know. Why shouldn’t I just tell them?”asked Rainbow as she rolled her eyes.

“If you don’t tell, I promise to forget about THAT.” said Sweetie Belle.

Rainbow winced, then sighed.

“Fine, but don’t expect me to cover you three if the others start asking questions. And you can bet your flanks I’m gonna make sure that ‘eventually’ doesn’t turn into ‘never,” said Rainbow.

“Fair ‘nough,” said Apple Bloom.

“Also, you girls are on your own for cleaning up this mess. I’m paid to work the weather, not pick up trash,” said Rainbow as she gestured to all the hang glider pieces scattered around,

As Rainbow flew off, Scootaloo leaned over to Sweetie Belle.

“So, what exactly was THAT?” asked Scootaloo.

“Well… Let’s just say she lost a bet with Rarity and leave it at that,” said Sweetie Belle nervously.

Besides, I doubt Scootaloo wants to know Rainbow had to put on a dress and say she always dresses in style… thought Sweetie Belle.

That evening, the three of them were back at the clubhouse after many hours of not-really-crusading. The rest of the day had passed without incident and, more surprisingly, not a drop of tree sap.

“Another day, and still no talents,” said Scootaloo as she flopped onto a bean bag.

“Yeah, but we had fun. And that was what we decided to do, right?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“And ‘sides not being covered in tree sap, it was like we were all still normal ponies crusadin’ for cutie marks,” said Apple Bloom.

“Yeah, Rarity was really happy about the tree sap. ‘Whatever it is you’re doing now, please keep doing it!’” Sweetie Belle said, imitating her sister.

The three not-ponies giggled.

“Yeah, I guess not much has changed. We’re still trying to find our talents and have fun while doing it. So what if we’re a little undead or made of metal? We’re not going to let that stop us from finding our destinies!” said Scootaloo.

“And hopefully find some answers to why I’m a robot,” added Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah, that too,” said Scootaloo.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

“Apple Bloom, ya in here?” asked Applejack as she peeked inside.

“Yeah. What’s goin’ on, sis? Did Rainbow Dash already talk to ya about… that?” Apple Bloom asked nervously.

“Yeah, but that’s not why I’m botherin’ ya. Ah just got a letter from one of mah cousins in Manehatten. She’s goin’ on a business trip to the Griffon Kingdom, and needs somepony to watch over her filly, Babs Seed, for a week or so. Ah can’t think of a good excuse tah say no, so it looks like we’re gonna have tah look after her,” said Applejack.

“Wait, are ya sayin’ mah cousin's gonna be stayin’ with us for a week?!” exclaimed Apple Bloom as fear started to creep into her.

“‘Fraid so. Me an’ Big Mac were talkin’ ‘bout how tah help ya hide…” said Applejack.

Applejack glanced at Apple Bloom’s friends.

“...Ya know what, so ah reckon ya should come up to the house for a bit so we can come up with somethin’.” she said.

Apple Bloom’s fear quickly became dread. How in Equestria was she going to keep her cousin from finding out she was a ghoul when they were living in the same house?

Author's Note

Wow, I got this chapter done fast! For me at least.

Also, I fully deserve any and all bricks thrown at me for the Murphy pun. I will dodge them with ease, but still feel free to throw.

~~By the way, I really need a cover art that better matches the tone. Anyone have any suggestions and/or know someone who'd been willing to take a request?~~

Nevermind. Thank you Crimsion Ink for the cover!

Chapter 3: VS Sweetie Bot, Round 1

Sweetie Belle was late when she arrived at the clubhouse the next morning. There had been a little incident with the toaster back home. When she opened the front door, however, she was surprised to see that while Scootaloo was waiting for her with an annoyed look on her face, Apple Bloom was nowhere to be seen.

“That’s weird. Apple Bloom’s usually done with her morning chores by now. Did something come up?” asked Sweetie Belle as she trotted inside.

“You mean besides the obvious?” deadpanned Scootaloo.

“But Babs Seed doesn’t get here until tomorrow, right? So what’s keeping Apple Bloom?” pondered Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo let out a sigh.

“Well, it’s not chores or anything. Applejack stopped by just a minute ago. Apparently Apple Bloom was up all night worrying about Babs Seed. She just kept thinking of new and crazy ways things could go wrong. By the time Applejack and Big Mac woke up she was in a full blown panic,” explained Scootaloo.

“She still at it?” asked Applejack as she joined her brother.

“... And then they’re gonna drag mah head all the way back to Manehattan so they can flush it down a toilet so Ah can get eaten by them sewer gators and…”

“Yep,” replied Big Mac.

“So, yeah. Applejack reckons she’ll wait till Apple Bloom calms down, then they’re gonna help her come up with a way to help her ‘feel ready,’ which really means helping her hide the fact she’s sorta dead,” finished Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow.

“Uh… I can kind of see where she’s coming from, but that seems a bit extreme. When has Apple Bloom ever been one to panic, let alone this badly?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“I dunno. I mean, she’s been hiding it from us for months. It can’t be that hard to hide it from one pony for a week,” replied Scootaloo with a shrug.

Sweetie Belle put her hoof to her mouth in thought for a moment, and then had a idea.

“Well, Babs Seed is her cousin. You know how the Apples feel about family. Apple Bloom’s going to be spending as much time as possible with her cousin, and I bet she’s debating on whether she wants to keep the secret or just tell her the truth,” deducted Sweetie Belle.

“Hm… You might be right. Still, if she wants to tell her extended family she’s a ghoul, then that’s her choice. I mean, my extended family is kind of the thing I need to keep a secret, so I really can’t help her there,” admitted Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle nodded in agreement. She really didn’t know her extended family very well, so it really wasn’t much of a debate for her either.

“Either way, it looks like it’s just the two of us today. Anything in mind you want to do?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, Sweetie Belle? You know today is Monday, right?” asked Scootaloo.

“Oh. Yeah, sorry. I lost track of what day it is. You have piano lessons on Monday,” answered Sweetie Belle with a blush.

Scootaloo gave an awkward cough.

“I uh… might of forgot to mention this the other day, but I’m not taking piano lessons. On Mondays I have to practice my changeling magic. Can’t exactly do that in the middle of Ponyville, you know?” admitted Scootaloo.

“Oh… ok, that makes a lot more sense. I didn’t want to say anything, but after the talent show I was starting to think you were wasting your time with those lessons,” confessed Sweetie Belle.

“Ugh. Don’t remind me. My older brother still doesn’t let me forget about that incident,” moaned Scootaloo as she rubbed her head with her hoof.

“Anyway, we still have a little while until your piano… I mean magic practice. Anything we can do in that time?” Sweetie Belle asked again.

“You know perfectly well what we need to do today. We need to find out more about Sweetie Bot,” said Scootaloo as she pointed a hoof towards Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle blinked in surprise.

“Wait, why do we have to do that now? Shouldn't we wait until Apple Bloom’s with us before we give robot me another go?” Sweetie Belle asked nervously.

“You said it yourself, Sweetie Belle. Apple Bloom’s going to be spending as much time as possible with her cousin while she's here. And unless we want to avoid Apple Bloom for an entire week, we’re going to be spending time with her too. So, either we wait a whole week to try and learn anything, or we do it right now without Apple Bloom,” explained Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle tried to think of an excuse, but couldn't. She was still reluctant, but she didn’t want to wait a whole week. Instead, she let out a resigned sigh.

“I guess you’re right. Just… just give me a minute to get ready,” Sweetie Belle said nervously.

“Sure. I need to look over Apple Bloom’s notes from last time anyway,” said Scootaloo as she walked away.

Sweetie Belle took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. This was the fourth time she was going to become Sweetie Bot, and the thought of it still terrified her. The sensation of something in her thinking process just changing like that was so jarring and unsettling. Was she just ‘turning on’ some small part of her? Or was she letting who she really was come out of the Sweetie Belle mask?

“Found ‘em!” cried Scootaloo as she pulled out Apple Bloom’s notes.

Sweetie Belle shook her head. This was no time to be “so meta,” as Pinkie had put it. Besides, she might get her answer in just a moment anyway.

“Ready Sweetie Belle?” asked Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle nodded, then closed her eyes. She didn’t fully understand how she went full robot, but she knew a trick to make it happen. Ever since she’d discovered her artificial nature, she’d had what felt like a switch in the back of her mind.

Sweetie Belle flicked the switch with a mental nudge, and her world exploded into 1’s and 0’s.

It wasn’t just her vision. Her other senses, memories, and even her on-going thoughts were crunched down. Her entire being was nothing but an endless array of digits. But the weird part was that Sweetie Belle could comprehend the numbers. Through this mess of lines and circles Sweetie Belle could not only sense her surroundings, but details she could never had known otherwise.

One long stream told her she was sitting down. The next said that it was early in the morning. Yet another told her that she was looking at something. A different set of numbers much further down told Sweetie Belle that that something was Scootaloo. It also told her friend’s species, her current relationship status, what her expression suggested, and how full her bladder was.

Sweetie Belle understood all of it. Unfortunately, she hadn’t quite nailed down how to not acknowledge certain information, and the lines quickly relayed that her disgust level had increased upon realizing she knew when Scootaloo would have to go to the bathroom.

TMI aside, it seemed that her “number sense” was working perfectly. So, with everything in order, she mentally added a new line to the system to speak. And once the line had been entered and processed, she opened her mouth.

“ALL SYSTEMS ONLINE. SWEETIE BOT READY FOR INPUT,” declared Sweetie Belle.

Though she spoke, she neither heard it nor felt her mouth move. The only feedback she received was more numbers. Numbers that told her that she had spoken and her jaw had moved. While this way of thinking might seem confusing, it was just as effective as her normal senses. It was just a different and more complex way of interpreting the information.

A new line showed that a noise had been heard. Another showed that Scootaloo had made the noise. Sweetie Belle’s processor identified it as spoken language, and quickly computed the sound into a new line of readable numbers.

“Alright then, Sweetie Bot. Shall we take a look at what’s hiding in your head?” Scootaloo asked.

And so it continued: a conversation consisting of nothing but reading and entering 1’s and 0’s.

“AFFIRMATIVE,” announced Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo rubbed her hooves together in anticipation.

“Ok. First thing first. Last time we did this, you mentioned that ‘Sweetie Belle’ is registered as a…”

Scootaloo paused and glanced at her notes.

“...M.P.S.. Can you tell us what that is?” asked Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle acknowledged the question, and agreed that it was a good place to start. At that moment, her thought process ran away from her and entered a new line that she didn’t fully understand: Search database for: M.P.S.

“SEARCHING...” declared Sweetie Belle.

Much like when flicking her “on” switch, Sweetie Belle’s mind reached into the back of, well, her mind. Instead of said switch, she felt what seemed like an endless abyss. As her computer sense pushed onward into it, more number lines appeared.

These numbers, however, were a bit more confusing, mostly because Sweetie Belle had no idea what most of it was saying. Current active RAM? The definition of Aesthete? AQC mode? And what in Equestria was that?! It’s like Sweetie Belle’s brain was full to the brim with things she didn’t actually know.

Then again, that was the reason why she was doing this wasn’t it? To see what was inside her robo-brain. Sweetie Belle just wished it wasn’t so disorienting, as her computer sense didn’t seem to acknowledge any lines it passed that it wasn’t actively looking for. And without that focus, everything Sweetie Belle ‘saw’ just slipped away from her as soon as it appeared.

What Sweetie Belle did pick up however, started raising her frustration level. She quickly found a definition for M.P.S. And then she found another. And another. And another, until finally...

“SEARCH COMPLETE. FOUND 123 POSSIBLE DESIGNATIONS FOR: M.P.S.” announced Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow.

“OK… wasn’t expecting that. And we don’t have time to check all of them,” admitted Scootaloo.

“FRUSTRATION LEVELS AT 34%,” added Sweetie Belle.

“Um… can you tell which M.P.S. we’re looking for? Like, maybe try to find ‘M.P.S. Sweetie Belle,’ or something?” suggested Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle tried Scootaloo’s suggestion, but only got one rather useless answer:

“SWEETIE BELLE HAS BEEN ASSIGNED TO M.P.S. UNIT 23457. FRUSTRATION LEVELS AT 53%,” Sweetie Belle declared.

Scootaloo shook her head.

“Come on Sweetie Bot. You have to have more than that!” she demanded.

Sweetie Belle tried to dig up more, but her computer mind refused to.

“PLEASE SPECIFY INQUIRY,” she stated.

Scootaloo gave a frustrated huff.

“We want to know what this M.P.S. thing is!” she cried.

“123 POSSIBLE DESIGNATIONS FOR: M.P.S.” announced Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo facehooved.

“OK, this isn’t working. Maybe if… no, Sweetie Bot’ll probably just tell us that unit 234 is Sweetie Belle. Ugh, Sweetie Belle, why is robot you so hard to work with?” asked Scootaloo.

Surprisingly, Sweetie Belle actually came up with a result for that question.

“SOLUTION: UPDATE UNIT SWEETIE BOT FROM VERSION 8 TO VERSION 8.1,” answered Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo sighed in defeat.

“I have no clue what that means. Forget it Sweetie Belle, we’ll just try this again later when we have more…”

Scootaloo paused. She just had an idea.

“Wait… if Sweetie Belle is that M.P.S. thing, then what exactly is Sweetie Bot?” asked Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle agreed. That was a good question. And the search came up with something new:

“UNIT SWEETIE BOT: REGISTERED A.P.P. #23444.” announced Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo gave a loud “Yes!” and hoofpumped, but her enthusiasm quickly faded as she realized what this meant.

“Don’t tell me… Sweetie Bot, how many definitions are there for A.P.P.?” Scootaloo regretfully asked.

“FOUND 121 POSSIBLE DESIGNATIONS FOR: A.P.P.” informed Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo gave out another sigh.

“Yeah, that’s not much better. Still, at least we found…” Scootaloo’s voice cut off.

It wasn’t because she had stopped talking. It was because it was happening again. Sweetie Belle had no idea whether it was because of ongoing stress or some processor limit had been reached, but one thing was clear: reading the numbers started to hurt. And it hurt bad.

“WARNING: UNIT SWEETIE BOT’S M.P.S. SUFFERING COMPATIBILITY REJECTION. RECOMMEND IMMEDIATE DEACTIVATION OF COMPUTATION SYSTEMS,” she announced.

“This again? Well, we were just about done anyway. Shut it down, Sweetie Belle,” said Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle didn’t hesitate. She reached back once more for that switch in the back of her mind, and flicked it.

The numbers vanished, leaving utter darkness before Sweetie Belle’s senses slowly began to return. It took a short while, but eventually Sweetie Belle’s vision was only her eyes, and her thought process was back to her normal way of thinking.

“Ugh…” Sweetie Belle moaned as she held her head.

Her headache hadn’t faded yet.

“Why does that have to hurt so much?” she grumbled.

“Well, that’s one thing we can try asking next time,” suggested Scootaloo as she finished writing down what they’d learned.

“I guess,” said Sweetie Belle with a sigh. At the moment her anxiety and pain were a lot more compelling than her curiosity, and another go at Sweetie Bot was the last thing she was looking forward to. Perhaps this week long break would do her head some good.

Mondays are awful. It’s not an opinion, it’s a fact. If you don’t hate Mondays, it’s because you’ve found a way to make the awfulness easier to bear, not because you actually like the day. Sweetie Belle’s Mondays were no different, even during the summer.

On Monday, Scootaloo had lessons that kept her busy until late afternoon, so Crusading was out. Because of this, Apple Bloom usually spent her Mondays either spending time with her family, or getting a head start on her chores so that she’d more time to play with her friends the rest of the week.

Monday was also Rarity’s designated “full business day,” mostly because in addition to her usual workload there were customers coming to pick up their weekend orders. And while Rarity had long since learned to make time for her sister, Mondays were the exception. As such, Sweetie Belle couldn’t spend the day with her sibling either.

Fortunately, like most ponies who regularly have a day to themselves, Sweetie Belle had a hobby to make these days less boring: reading. Sweetie Belle had discovered the joys of the written word even before she met her friends. In fact, she used to think of herself as quite the book lover until Twilight moved into town. It’s hard to think of yourself as an avid reader after you meet that lavender bookworm.

Still, when everypony else was busy, Sweetie Belle loved nothing better than heading up a small hill on the edge of town, curling up under her favorite reading tree, and letting her mind delve into the pages in front of her. OK, so this was probably the reason why Scootaloo called her a dictionary so often, but what did she know about reading?

For today’s book selection, Sweetie Belle had decided to continue reading Pinkie’s suggestion: Space Unicorn and the Lady Marzipan. Once you got past how ridiculous the setting was (peanut butter powered robots and such), it really wasn't that bad a read.

“Neon!” cried Space as he rushed to his fallen friend.

“I… I’m fine Space. He... only skimmed me. I can… I can keep going,” said Neon as he struggled to stand up. His pained expression suggested it was more serious then he was letting on.

Space knew how badly Neon wanted to fight. How important this was to him, but Space would sooner quit the Rainbow Delivery Line than let his friend keep moving in this state.

“It’s ok, Neon. I can take it from here. After that glitter bomb, the robot octopus is just one blast away from being finished. Patch yourself up, and then we’ll go get that Marzipan Girl together,” said Space.

Neon looked like he wanted to protest, but when he tried to move his wings, he almost collapsed from the pain.

“Alright… just promise me you’ll be alright without me for a bit,” said Neon.

Space raised his marshmallow laser and smiled.

“Come on Neon. Have a little more faith in me,” he said with a smirk.

And with that, Space turned around and charged forward, firing his-

“Hey!”

An angry call pulled Sweetie Belle from her reading. Sweetie Belle looked up in surprise, and had to fight the urge to groan at the sight of the pegasus stallion who had yelled at her. It was Murphy Law.

There are three unwritten rules in Ponyville

1) Pinkie Pie will throw you a welcome party. There will also be other parties, but there’s no guarantee on what they will be celebrating.

2) Never speak of the Fillydelphia Fliers. Ponyville takes its hoofball very seriously, and is a proud supporter of the Plowsburgh Pillagers.

3) Nopony likes Murphy Law, Ponyville’s sole attorney. Not even Pinkie Pie.

“Beat it kid. I’m reading here,” demanded Murphy Law.

Normally Sweetie Belle would just take the usual approach to dealing with Murphy, but she was a little peeved that her reading session had been interrupted and her morning had been rather stressful. So, instead of doing the smart thing and just walking away, Sweetie Belle decided to call him out.

“I was here first. And you can just sit on the other side of the tree,” argued Sweetie Belle.

“And let you peek over my shoulder as I look over private legal papers? Not a chance,” replied Murphy Law.

Sweetie Belle glanced at the book under Murphy’s wing. If there was one thing Murphy Law was good at, it was being full of crap.

“You mean your copy of 'Canterlot Law for Dummies?'” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Excuse me? I’ll have you know this book is highly classified. Only a pony as clever as I can obtain permission to read it,” declared Murphy Law with sneer.

“You mean like going to the Library and checking out Twilight Sparkle’s copy? I know she has one,” deadpanned Sweetie Belle.

Murphy gave her an angry glare.

“You know what? Why don’t you just leave before I sue you for undue stress?” he less than politely suggested.

“Because then you’d have to actually do your job for once?” Sweetie Belle snarked with a sly grin.

Murphy Law looked ready to blow a fuse. Sweetie Belle, on the other hoof, was feeling much better, and decided that she’d had enough.

“Whatever. I have other things to do anyway,” she said as she stood up and turned to leave.

Unfortunately, as it usually happens when Murphy Law’s nearby, several things went wrong.

First, Sweetie Belle tripped on a rock that was partially buried just right so that she didn’t notice it until it was too late.

Second, she tripped so hard it sent her flying forward into a wagon that just so happened to be stationed on the hill.

Third, the wagon’s brakes were rusty, and the force of Sweetie Belle’s impact was enough to snap them loose, sending the wagon rushing down the hill with Sweetie Belle in it.

Finally, the wagon hit a very small bump, sending it charging down not toward the road, but right toward somepony’s house.

Why did I have to argue with Murphy Law? Sweetie Belle chided herself and braced for impact.

BOOM!

Meanwhile, Murphy Law looked down from the hill and shrugged.

“I didn’t push her. Not my problem,” he said to himself before sitting down and pulling out his law book.

And that’s why nopony likes Murphy Law.

Well, I learned something about robots today: being made of metal doesn’t make smashing through a wall hurt less, thought Sweetie Belle as she laid on the floor of somepony’s house. Her whole body stung from the impact, her ears were ringing, and her vision was blurry.

“It’s fine! It didn’t hit anything impor- Oh snap! Are you ok?!” A voice called before a white and blue blob entered her vision.

Sweetie Belle let out a groan before answering.

“I… I think so…” she said as the pain started to fade. At the very least, it didn’t feel like anything was broken, and her vision cleared up to reveal that the white pony was in fact Vinyl Scratch.

Well, at least I smashed into the house of one of the most laid back ponies in Ponyville. I just hope her roommate’s in Canterlot. I really don’t need somepony screaming in my ear right now, though Sweetie Belle.

“Uh… are you sure about that? Your leg is…” Vinyl Scratch said nervously before trailing off.

My Leg? None of my legs hurt, so what is she... Sweetie Belle’s line of thought was stopped short when she glanced toward her left front leg.

Her leg had yet another door on it and it was open, allowing Vinyl to see her mechanical insides. Far more alarming, however, was that a large yellow wire inside her leg had been severed. Sweetie Belle tried to move her leg, but it refused to budge.

Needless to say, Sweetie Belle began to panic.

“I… I...” she frantically tried to speak; to try and explain away what was plain to see.

Vinyl Scratch, however, just waved a hoof.

“Don’t worry. I got this,” she said before she dashed off to another room.

What does she mean she’s got this?! Is she going to the hospital to get a doctor? Oh no! It’s bad enough she’s found me out, but now everypony at the hospital is going to know too! Sweetie Belle thought with ever rising hysteria.

The sound of a door opening and closing did little to calm her down. Neither did the following shriek.

“Vinyl Scratch! What is the meaning of this?!” Octavia cried at the sight of the mess her home had become.

“This one isn’t my fault, Tavi! And could you give me a minute before you start chewing me out again? I need to fix Sweetie Belle’s leg,” Vinyl said as she came back into the main room. She had a roll of duct tape levitating in her magic field.

Sweetie Belle’s jaw dropped.

She's going to fix me?! She thought in disbelief.

“Fix her… leg?” asked Octavia as she turned to the small unicorn still lying on the ground.

“Yeah. It’s just a cut wire. I could do this with my eyes shut,” said Vinyl as she leaned down over said wire.

“Since when did you know anything about advanced machinery?” asked Octavia in a surprised tone.

“Since my job requires me to use some really high-end tech. You want to be a successful DJ, you either make enough bits to buy new parts every time your set-up breaks down, or you learn how to patch your stuff yourself. And I don’t make nearly enough bits,” explained Vinyl as she wrapped the wire with the tape.

Sweetie Belle stayed quiet during this exchange. She was still frozen in surprise that these two ponies were not panicking at the sight of a robot on their floor. She did give a small jump, however, when Vinyl finished wrapping the wire as it caused a small shock to run through her body.

“OK, that should do it. Can you move it now?” asked Vinyl.

Sweetie Belle tried to move her hoof again, and to her delight it did. It also helped her calm down a bit.

“There we go. Told ya I could do it,” said Vinyl as she closed the door on Sweetie Belle’s leg.

Sweetie Belle wasn’t sure how to respond.

“I… uh… thank you, I guess,” she said nervously.

“Don’t mention it. Gotta say though, your sister must be even more loaded then she says. This has to be the most advanced looking prosthetic I’ve ever seen.” said Vinyl with a smirk.

Prosthetic? Oh! She must think only my leg is mechanical! Ok, so she doesn’t know I’m a robot. Guess whatever keeps ponies from noticing my secret takes more than just seeing my leg open up. That’s a relief, thought Sweetie Belle as the last of her panic died down.

“Oh, you poor thing! I never knew,” said Octavia in a concerned tone.

Sweetie Belle saw an opportunity, and took it.

“Um… Yeah. I’m… a little embarrassed about it, so I’ve been trying to keep it a secret. Can you promise not to tell anypony? I’d really appreciate it,” Sweetie Belle said, hoping her tone was believable.

Vinyl Scratch raised an eyebrow.

“I guess... Not sure why though. I mean, this is hardly the weirdest thing I’ve heard in this town. You wanna hear about Cloud Kicker’s love life?” offered Vinyl.

“Vinyl! Don’t go filling the poor filly's head with such things! Of course we’ll keep your secret, Sweetie Belle,” said Octavia.

Sweetie Belle let out a sigh of relief

“Now then, about the hole in the wall…” said Octavia with a scowl.

Sweetie Belle winced.

“I uh… kind of got into an argument with Murphy Law…” she admitted.

“Really? Sweet! Did you own him?” Vinyl eagerly asked.

Octavia facehooved.

An hour later Sweetie Belle clopped her way into Sugarcube Corner and flopped down at an empty table. She hadn’t gotten in trouble (their house had Murphy insurance ironically enough), but Octavia had given her a lecture about why it was a bad idea to argue with Murphy Law. A very long and painful lecture.

Right now, Sweetie Belle needed something sweet to drown the experience away.

Still, it hadn’t been all bad. Afterwards Vinyl had offered to help patch her up if something broke again. And considering the only other pony who knew her secret and knew anything about machines was Pinkie Pie, Sweetie Belle opted to trust her insides with the pony who didn’t keep changing her mind on what model Sweetie Belle was. Though hopefully it wouldn’t come to that.

Speaking of Pinkie Pie...

“One ‘I need a pick me up’ milkshake coming right up!” declared Pinkie Pie as she appeared out of nowhere, only to dash away again.

Sweetie Belle waited for a few seconds, but then Scootaloo walked in, made her way to Sweetie Belle’s table, and flopped down next to her.

“Ugh… I hate manestyles,” was all she offered.

Sweetie Belle opened her mouth to ask, but then closed it as she realized a public restaurant probably wasn't the best place to talk about being a changeling.

After a moment of the two just sitting there in silence, Pinkie Pie came back with three milkshakes.

“Uh, Pinkie? Who’s the third shake for?” asked Scootaloo.

“For Apple Bloom,” answered Pinkie.

As she said that, Apple Bloom walked into Sugarcube Corner as well. She didn’t seem too frantic, though her mane was a mess. She didn’t say anything right away. She just walked over to her friends and sat down.

“Feeling better Apple Bloom?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom took a sip from her milkshake before sighing.

“Yeah. Ah guess Ah was overreactin’ a bit. Babs Seed is mah cousin, ya know? Ah’m just… not entirely sure what to tell her. And it’s not like it’d be all that hard to hide mah secret from her anything. Ah mean, if Ah could…” Apple Bloom stopped and glanced at Pinkie Pie, who was still standing next to them.

“Oh! Right! I’m not supposed to know about your secrets yet! Sorry!” said Pinkie Pie as she backed away with an embarrassed look on her face.

The CMC looked toward Pinkie in shock, jaws low. Pinkie’s expression quickly changed to nervous.

“Heh heh… I uh… was just kidding? I mean, it’s not like I just so happened to have a Pinkie sense for when zombies are nearby and have a few changeling friends. Nope, not at all!” Pinkie said with a very forced smile.

The Crusaders raised their eyebrows.

“Oh look! Somepony’s at the counter. Better go and do my job. Bye girls!” said Pinkie before she dashed off.

The three friends looked at each other, but silently agreed that this wasn’t the best time to get some answers from Pinkie, if she even had any to give.

“Anyway, as Ah was sayin’, if Ah could hide mah secret from you girls from months, Ah can hide it from her for a week,” continued Apple Bloom.

“Yeah, we kind of figured as much. You panicked because you’re considering just telling her the truth, right?” asked Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom gave a nod.

“Ah’m an Apple. Apple’s have always been honest folk. And if Ah can’t tell mah own cousin the truth, how the hay am Ah going to tell anypony else? We did promise to tell mah sister’s friends, after all,” said Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle let out a sigh.

“She has a point there, though I don't think I’m ready for that step yet,” she mumbled as images of being strapped down in Twilight’s basement entered her mind.

“Well, whether you decided to tell her or not, we’ll be there for you to either help you hide it, or keep Babs quiet. We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders! We’ll stand together no matter what.” declared Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle nodded in agreement.

“Well, at least until we can come up with a better name. Still, thanks girls.” said Apple Bloom.

And with that, the three fillies raised their glasses in anticipation of the next day, and enjoyed their milkshakes.

At least until Scootaloo got brain freeze again.

Author's Note

I'm alive!!!

And I didn't get to the Babs chapter yet. Ugh. That chapter has been the bane of my existence for over a year now. I might make a blog post about it, as well as why I wrote this chapter before the Babs one, but you probably don't want to hear about my woes.

On the bright side, as a result of all my suffering, the Babs chapter is already about 70% or so complete. Hopefully it won't take me another year to finish it.

And yes, I am aware that the Fliers are a hockey team. They just sound more punny then Eagles.

Chapter 4: Babs Seed the _____

Chapter 4: Babs Seed the _____

It was the morning Babs was scheduled to arrive, and while Apple Bloom had managed to avoid breaking down into a nervous wreck (literally and figuratively), she was still rather nervous.

“What do Ah do? What do Ah do?” she mumbled as she paced back and forth across her room.

Applejack, who was standing in the doorway, just sighed.

“Stop talkin’ to yerself like that for starters. Come on, Apple Bloom. We’ve been over this plenty of times now. Ya don’t have to spend the whole week with Babs, but ya at least need to meet her at the train station and introduce yerself,” she said.

Apple Bloom shook her head. “Ah’m not worried about avoidin’ her. Hay, Ah’m still considerin’ just outright tellin’ her Ah’m a ghoul. What Ah’m worried about is how Ah’m gonna spend time with her. Undead or not, what kind of cousin would Ah be if Ah didn’t hang out with her while she’s here?”

“A cousin who doesn’t socialize much? Like cousin Crab Apple?” deadpanned Applejack.

Apple Bloom glared at her sister.

“Ah’m kiddin’, Apple Bloom,” Applejack said with wave of her hoof, “Hay, Ah’m mighty proud ya want to spend time with Babs. But ah wouldn’t worry ‘bout what to do with her. She doesn’t have her cutie mark yet, so y’all can just take her crusadin’ with yer friends.”

“She doesn’t have her cutie mark either?” asked Apple Bloom in surprise.

“Yep. Ah reckon y’all will get along just fine,” said Applejack with a nod.

Apple Bloom put a hoof to her muzzle. True, it would be easy to just go crusading all week and let Babs join them, but some part of her couldn’t help but think how risky it would be for the three of them to spend a whole week crusading while keeping their secrets. If one crusade ended up like her gliding attempt…

Yeah, that’s a bad idea. If Ah’m goin’ to tell Babs mah secret, it ain’t goin’ to be cause mah guts are everywhere. Is there anythin’ else Ah can work with? Does she have any hobbies or somethin’? Maybe Applejack knows what she…

Apple Bloom’s train of thought was interrupted as something occurred to her.

“Wait, how’d ya find out she doesn’t have a cutie mark? Did yer cousin tell ya in her letter or something?” she asked.

“Uh… Yeah, she did mention it in the letter. Just casually mentioned it for no particular reason. Yep,” said Applejack rather unconvincingly.

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow.

Applejack answered with a sigh.

“Alright, so there’s more to it than that. But promise me ya’ll keep it to yerself, OK? Ah don’t want her to feel singled out when ya see her,” she said.

“Ah promise,” said Apple Bloom with a nod.

“Right. So it turns out, part of the reason mah cousin wants us to look after Babs is because she’s been bullied somethin’ fierce at school for not havin’ a cutie mark yet,” said Applejack.

“Bullied!?” exclaimed Apple Bloom.

“Yep. Her mom figured it be best to get her out of town for a while to help her feel better. It’s why she asked us and not Aunt and Uncle Orange,” said Applejack.

Apple Bloom’s expression grew determined. She knew all too well what her sister was talking about. She also now knew what she and her friends had to do.

“Well then, Ah’d better find Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo before we head out to the station,” she said as she made her way out of her room.

“Now what did ah just say about…” started Applejack, but her sister had already taken off.

“Ok, so we all know the plan?” Apple Bloom asked her friends as they made their way to the train station.

“Yep,” said Scootaloo with a nod, “Hang out with Babs Seed, show her around town, maybe take her on a crusade or two…”

“And keep her as far away from Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon as possible,” finished Sweetie Belle.

“Right. Babs is only going to be here for a week, but we’re going to make sure it’s a week that's completely bully free!” declared Apple Bloom.

“Yeah!” her friends cheered.

As they reached the train station, they found Applejack waiting for them with a concerned look on her face.

“Apple Bloom…” she said before Apple Bloom interrupted.

“Ah promised Ah wasn’t gonna call her out, and I’m not. Me and the girls are just gonna make sure she has a good time while she’s here. She won’t even know that we know about the bullyin’,” reassured Apple Bloom.

Applejack opened her mouth, but then closed it. She put a hoof to her mouth for a moment in thought, then spoke.

“Is there somethin’ Ah should know? Those two fillies aren’t still givin’ y’all trouble, are they?” she asked.

“Nothing we can’t handle ourselves, sis,” assured Apple Bloom.

While Diamond and Silver’s teasing hadn’t changed since they’d shared their secrets with each other a few days ago, it had become a little easier to endure. The CMC had found new strength in accepting that it wasn’t the cutie mark that mattered to them, their families, or each other. So what if those two wanted to mock them? They were going to find their talents one day, mark or not.

This wouldn’t be true for Babs Seed. If she was being bullied in Manehattan the same way the three of them were bullied in Ponyville, then they knew how much it hurt. The CMC would not let that happen while Babs was in Ponyville.

And if they made her a crusader in the process, well that would just be a bonus.

“Alright… just remember to talk to me if somethin’ comes up, alright?” asked Applejack

“Right,” The three fillies answered.

A minute later, the train pulled in and ponies started to disembark.

Alright Apple Bloom. Remember, she’s here to relax. Be friendly, but not too friendly. Don’t wanna scare her. Apple Bloom thought to herself.

Then, finally, Babs Seed emerged from the train. The brown filly looked really nervous. Taking a deep breath, Apple Bloom stepped forward.

“Hello. Mah name’s Apple Bloom. Are ya mah cousin, Babs Seed?” She asked in as calm a voice as she could manage.

Bab Seed took a step back in surprise, but gave a gentle nod.

“Alright then. These are mah friends, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. We wanted to show ya around Ponyville, but if ya’d rather just go strait tah Sweet Apple Acres and get settled we can do that instead,” said Apple Bloom.

Babs was quiet, but having the option to just head to the farm seemed to calm her down a bit.

“... and this is our clubhouse,” said Apple Bloom as she opened the clubhouse door.

Babs looked around in cautious awe.

“Yeah, it’s nothing too fancy, but we built it with our own hooves and it’s served us pretty well. And don’t mind the burn marks, those things just seem to keep appearing no matter what we do in here,” commented Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom forced herself not to facehoof.

“What she means is that we don’t play with fire all the time or anything,” clarified Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom gave in and facehooved.

“I… uh… figured as much,” mumbled Babs, “Um… are you three part of a club, or somethin’?”

“Well, it’s really only the three of us, but together we are the Cutie Mark Crusaders!” announced Scootaloo.

“Kind of. We’re sorta between names at the moment,” added Apple Bloom.

“Crusadahs?” asked Babs.

“Yeah. We’re basically a group of friends trying to work together to find our cutie marks,” explained Sweetie Belle.

Babs Seed blinked, and glanced at the flanks around her. Apparently, she had only just realized that she’d spent an hour or so with ponies who didn’t have their cutie marks either. She let out a sigh of relief.

“Oh. That’s… kinda neat…” she muttered.

Apple Bloom smiled. So far so good.

“Ya know what? Why don’t Ah show ya somethin’ really neat?” suggested Apple Bloom.

“This here’s the float we’re gonna use in this year’s Summer Harvest parade,” said Apple Bloom as she pointed toward the large pumpkin float.

Babs raised an eyebrow.

“Summah Harvest parade?” she asked.

“Oh, right. They probably don't celebrate it in Manehattan. It’s not that important of a holiday in big cities,” realized Sweetie Belle.

“Of course you would know that, you dictionary. Why not explain it in fine detail while you're at it,” said Scootaloo with a roll of her eyes.

“Or I could just give the short version instead. Like the name says, it’s basically a holiday for celebrating a successful summer harvest,” Sweetie Belle explained.

“Exactly. The parade’s gonna be the mornin’ of the day ya go home, but mah sister mentioned that yer train comes late in the afternoon, so ya can join us in our float if ya want. It’s ok if ya don’t, but it’s a lot of fun to be part of the parade,” said Apple Bloom.

Babs Seed still looked nervous, but also interested. There was even a trace of a smile on her face.

“I’ll think ‘bout it. But… uh… why a pumpkin? Ya don’t grow pumpkins on the farm durin’ the summah, do ya?” Babs asked.

Apple Bloom rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment.

“Oh. Well, funny story about that actually. Ya see, it was gonna be an apple, but when we went to buy the paint…”

Apple Bloom paused as she noticed Sweetie Belle, who was standing by the door, frantically waving a hoof. Her terrified expression could mean only one thing.

“Ya know what, wha don’t we all go to Sugarcube Corner for some milkshakes and Ah tell ya on the way there?” suggested Apple Bloom.

Babs Seed’s eyes widened at the prospect of liquid sugary goodness.

“Oh, sure! I could go fah a milkshake,” she said.

And with that the four of them made their way out of the barn. Not a moment after they left, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon came in the other side.

“Alright, looks like the coast is clear. Now let’s smash that pumpkin. Those blank flanks aren’t joining the parade if I have anything to say about,” declared Diamond Tiara.

“Wait, that's why we came all the way out here? I thought you just wanted to try and embarrass them in front of her cousin,” said Silver Spoon.

“I did, but they’re not here, and I’m not spending a minute in this mudhole waiting for them. Now, where’s a good place to kick this thing…” said Diamond Tiara as she looked over the float.

“Diamond…” said Silver Spoon with an eye roll, “You do realize that they can just build a new one, right? They’re not that hard to make. Besides, teasing them is one thing, but if the Apple family finds out we snuck onto their property and broke something, no amount of pouting is going to get us out of being grounded.”

Diamond Tiara sighed, “Fine. We’ll just go back into town and try to find them. They can’t avoid us forever.”

“...and that’s why we all made it a pumpkin,” finished Apple Bloom, as they made their way to Sugarcube Corner.

“Yeah, I guess that kinda makes sense,” said Babs with a nod.

“Really? I still think the part about the lemons was kind of ridiculous,” said Scootaloo.

“Well, to be fair, those were magically charged lemons. Things tend to be a lot more flammable when they’re magically charged… Oh! Hey, Ruby!” said Sweetie Belle.

Ruby Pinch was trotting toward them.

“Hi, Sweetie Belle. Hi all. Oh! Who are you?” asked Ruby as she looked towards Babs.

“Oh, this is mah cousin, Babs Seed. She’s from Manehattan. She’s visitin’ for the week,” explained Apple Bloom.

“Neat. Wish my cousin would visit more often, but, well, you know,” said Ruby with a roll of her eyes.

The CMC nodded, though Babs just raised an eyebrow.

“My mom’s an alcoholic. My aunt doesn’t really like it when my cousin spends time with her,” explained Ruby.

“Oh. Uh… Sorry to hear ‘bout that,” said Babs, trying to avoid sounding awkward.

“It’s not like that Babs. Yeah, Berry Punch is always drunk, but she’s not mean to Ruby at all. Heck, she’s one of the best moms in Ponyville. She’s kind of weird like that,” said Scootaloo.

“Wait… what?” asked Babs, clearly confused.

“Yep. She always helps me with my homework, tucks me into bed, and gives me a hug almost anytime I need one. Though I really wish she didn’t always make sure I eat my beets. I hate beets,” said Ruby as she stuck out her tongue.

Babs opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it and shook her head.

“Yeah, ok. I believe ya,” she said.

The four other ponies looked at each other, and had the same exact thought:

Wow. There must be some really weird ponies in Manehattan if Berry Punch doesn’t faze her.

“Anyway, we’re goin’ to sugarcube corner. Wanna join us?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Nah, I got stuff to do. See you around,” said Ruby as she trotted away.

The CMC and Babs continued on their way.

“So, uh, Babs Seed? Do you know anything about fashion?” asked Sweetie Belle.

As it turned out, Babs did know a thing or two about fashion. In fact, she had so much to say on the subject that talking about it seemed to finally get her to come out of her shell. She also had a very different opinion about it than Rarity.

“I get that fancy dresses are ‘bout lookin’ good and all, but I don’t get why anypony who don’t live in Canterlot would bothah. I mean, if you’re gonna go outta yer way tah wear clothes, shouldn’t ya wear somethin’ a bit more… you?”

Babs paused to take a sip from her milkshake.

“I ain’t sayin’ your sister’s ain’t got style or anythin’, but could you see, say, a rock stah wearin’ a dress to anywhere other than some big formal thang?”

“I think I know what you’re talking about. Rarity’s always telling me something about ‘the balance between being personal and being popular.’ I think it means trying to make something that suits a pony, but still follows fashion trends,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Exactly, though I think the more personal it is, the bettah. To hay wit what society thinks, I’ll wear what I want, ya know?” said Babs.

Sweetie nodded. She understood what Babs was saying. She also knew Rarity would go on a long rant about it if she dared to bring the idea up with her, so she decided to politely (and silently) disagree.

“Anyway, how ‘bout you, cousin? You know anythin’ about fashion?” asked Babs.

“Only that Ah know nothin’ about it. Hay, Ah don’t even know if mah bow counts as fashion,” admitted Apple Bloom.

“I think it suits you, though it does kinda give you more of a cutesy look than a hard-workin’ farm gal one. Ever consider gettin’ a hat?” asked Babs.

Apple Bloom nervously gripped her enchanted bow.

“Well, Ah never really thought about it, but Ah guess Ah could keep an eye open,” she said.

Scootaloo, meanwhile, was quiet. Not only because she wasn’t interested in what the others were saying, but because she was keeping a close eye on the road outside. They weren’t going to let a certain duo bother them.

“So, aside from that crusadin’ thin you mentioned, what do ya do for fun round here?” asked Babs.

“Well, there’s a movie theater, an arcade, a few playgrounds, and the Whitetail Woods are always fun to explore. There’s the Bowling Alley, but I think Scootaloo’s still banned from visiting. There’s also…”

“Alright, see you tomorrow, girls!” called Sweetie Belle as she headed home for the evening. The sun was setting, and she had to get home before dark.

“Yeah! Don’t forget, I’m going to see if I can score tickets to the new Food Friends episode, so don’t make any plans without me!” added Scootaloo as she got onto her scooter and sped off.

Apple Bloom and Babs Seed waved good bye from the front porch of the Apple family’s house.

“You have real good friends, cousin,” commented Babs.

“As far as Ah’m concerned, they’re yer friends too, Babs,” replied Apple Bloom.

Babs didn’t reply, though the thoughtful look on her face made Apple Bloom wonder if Babs had any friends in Manehattan. She really hoped Babs did, but decided not to push it. She did promise not to make Babs feel singled out, after all.

Besides, there was something else a bit more pressing on her mind.

Should Ah tell her? It’s just the two of us, here in the middle of the Apple farm. And Ah really should tell her at some point. Ah… Ah guess Ah’m just kind of nervous to tell sompony Ah just met, cousin or not. I’ll just wait a bit, get to know her a little better, then Ah’ll tell her.

“Well, anyway, ya know where yer room is?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Yeah. First door on the raht. Why, you goin’ to bed already? The sun ain’t even set yet,” questioned Babs.

“Ah’m a farmer, Babs. Ah got work to do, and ah get up as the sun rises to do it. Ya can sleep in if ya want, thought. Ah usually get mah chores done in an hour or two,” answered Apple Bloom.

“Oh, right. My ma mentioned that you guys get up really early. Makes sense that you’d go to bed early too. G’ night then, cousin,” said Babs with a nod.

“Night, Babs,” said Apple Bloom as she headed inside.

There was also another reason Apple Bloom was going to bed so early. She didn’t want Babs to catch her with her bow off. True, she didn’t need to take it off, but she’d found it difficult to sleep with it in her mane.

The week went by quickly. Miraculously, nothing went wrong. By always making sure somepony was keeping an eye out for Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, the CMC were somehow able to avoid them without too much trouble. The CMC took Babs with them to see a movie, play around at the park, and even go on a few crusades of the less-physically demanding nature (and Babs learned very quickly not to eat any of Sweetie Belle’s cooking).

And all the while Apple Bloom continued to debate with herself on whether she should tell Babs the truth, going to bed every night still undecided.

And as the week went by, Babs got more and more excited about the upcoming parade. She even started putting serious consideration in joining the CMC.

Everything was going fine… until the day before the Summer Harvest.

They’d paid a visit to the arcade, where Babs proved herself to be a pretty decent pinball player and Scootaloo had come so close to beating the final stage on Buck-Out. Unfortunately, this made Scootaloo a bit frustrated, and she didn’t keep as sharp a look out as she should have when the others went into Bon Bon’s candy store. They were just leaving, sugary prizes in hoof, when it happened.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” came a mocking call.

The four of them stopped in their tracks in horror.

“Four little blanks, all in a row. Are we playing hangpony? I’m going to guess an F. F for failures,” said Diamond Tiara as she and Silver Spoon made their way towards them.

Sweetie Belle started sweating. Scootaloo winced as she realized this was her fault. Babs’ eyes grew wide in terror. Apple Bloom said a word under her breath that her sister had made her Pinkie promise never to tell her friends.

“So what are you losers up to? Buying candy from that baby store? And here I thought you Manhattan ponies are supposed to know a thing or two about quality. Guess your cousin’s just as pathetic as the rest of you,” taunted Diamond Tiara.

“Hey! Bon Bon’s candy is top quality! How else does she run her own store in the same town as Sugarcube corner?” objected Scootaloo.

“Because there are so many poor, money starved ponies in this town that can’t afford a much as a single milkshake. Like you,” mocked Diamond.

Apple Bloom was about to retort, but then she noticed that Babs was starting to tear up.

This ain’t good. Gotta get away from them, but how?

Suddenly, Apple Bloom had an idea.

“Y’all better stop that before ya get hurt,” said Apple Bloom with a determined glare.

“Oh really? And why should I, blank flank?” mocked Diamond Tiara.

“Cause Babs is from Manehattan. Y’all know what ponies from Manehattan do to ponies that make ‘em mad?” asked Apple Bloom.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon glanced at Babs, who looked like she was about to cry, then to each other. They then fell to the ground laughing.

“Pff… ha ha ha! Yeah, I’m so scared! The cry baby is going to fight us because she’s from Manehattan!” gasped Diamond as she rolled on the ground.

After a minute, the two of them managed to calm down enough to look up. The CMC and Babs were gone.

“What the… hey! You can’t just leave while we’re in the middle of teasing you!” cried Diamond.

“Alright, I think we lost them,” said Sweetie Belle as she peeked around the corner.

“Good. I can’t believe I let them sneak up on us like that,” grumbled Scootaloo.

“Are ya alright, Babs? They didn’t bother ya too much, did they?” asked Apple Bloom.

Babs was sniffling a bit, but she wasn’t outright crying.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m used to it. I just… I was just startin’ to think that ponies like them weren’t in this town,” she said.

“I’m sorry about this Babs. We’ve been tryin’ to avoid ‘em all week. Ah mean, Ah didn’t want ya to have to put up with them while yer here,” admitted Apple Bloom.

Babs let out a sigh.

“Well, they know I’m here now. Be honest with me: those two are gonna be at the Summer Harvest parade, ain't they?” She asked.

“Probably,” admitted Apple Bloom.

“Then I… I think I’m just going to stay home tamarrow,” Babs Seed declared.

The CMC let out a collective gasp.

“What?! But Babs…” exclaimed Apple Bloom.

“Look cousin, it’s been an awesome week. Really, I’ve been havin’ a great time. But… I really don’t want it tah end like this. I just want my last day off to be peaceful, ok?” said Babs.

Apple Bloom opened her mouth to speak, but then let out a sigh.

“Yeah, Ok, Babs.” she said.

Apple Bloom laid awake on her bed that night.

“Darn it, Diamond Tiara. Why’d ya have to ruin Babs’ vacation?” She mumbled.

Apple Bloom sighed and rolled over, making her rotten body squelch and snap. Six months of it, and she still hated how disgustingly noisy her body was without her bow. The light of a full moon shone through her window, giving her burnt skin a ghostly sheen.

“Stupid curse. Stupid Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Stupid, Stupid Stupid…”

She slammed her head back onto her pillow, causing another wave of nauseating sounds to come out of her.

It was no use. She wasn’t getting any sleep tonight. Resigning to the fact, Apple Bloom tried to think on what to do about Babs.

“Is there anythin’ Ah can do to make her feel better?” She asked herself.

An idea popped into her head. A simple but terrifying idea. She immediately began looking for alternatives.

Maybe Ah could talk to Applejack instead? Ah did promise to tell her if anything came up… No, that's’ a terrible idea. Ah still remember that picture Granny showed me of what happened the one time somepony bullied Applejack as a filly. That colt was stuck in the hospital for weeks!

Maybe Ah could just not go to the parade? Spend the day with Babs on the farm? But the parade’s only once a year, and Ah really don’t wanna miss it...

With a sigh, Apple Bloom sat up and got out of bed. Nothing else for it. She was going to have to tell Bab Seed about her curse.

Oh, who am Ah kiddin’? Of COURSE that’s what Ah’m goin’ to have to do. What was it that Granny said that one time? “One way to feel better about yerself is to remember how much worse some other ponies have it,” Ah think.

Besides, Ah probably should have just told her in the first place. Ah’ve been puttin’ it off all week. It’s time to just get it over with.

After quickly retying her bow, Apple Bloom left her room and slowly made her way across the hall. Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to avoid making noise with hooves. It’s just really tricky. Still, she made it to Bab’s room without any problems.

Alright… here goes nothin’. She thought as she opened the door.

Babs Seed wasn’t in her bed.

“What the…” mumbled Apple Bloom.

From the light of the full moon, Apple Bloom could see that Babs Seed’s sheets had been tossed aside rather haphazardly, as if she had been in a hurry to get up.

Did something happen to her? Did she sneak out or something?

Apple Bloom glanced out the window at the full moon.

Or maybe… Is it possible that Babs is…

FLUSH!!

Apple Bloom gave a slight jump, but then facehooved.

...Just going to the bathroom. Didn’t think of that.

Sure enough, a moment later a perfectly normal Babs Seed came into the room.

“Apple Bloom? What are you doin’ up this late?” asked Babs.

“There’s… somethin’ Ah need to tell ya.” said Apple Bloom.

Apple Bloom had a list of reactions she expected to receive upon revealing her ghoulish nature. Fortunately, her friends’ acceptance had broadened it beyond “run, scream, faint, or chase her out of town.” Even so, Babs Seed’s reaction to finding out Apple Bloom was a ghoul wasn’t at all what Apple Bloom expected.

When Apple Bloom finished her story and took her bow off, all Babs did was raise an eyebrow, shrug, and go “Eh.”

Apple Bloom response wasn’t nearly as calm.

“Eh? EH?! Seriously?! Yer cousin is a ghoul, and all ya can say is ‘Eh?!’ How are ya not even a little freaked out by this?!” She cried, her voice once again a garbled mess.

“Why would I be? I was kinda expectin’ somethin’ like this,” answered Babs Seed.

“Expectin’?! What, are ghouls a common sight in Manehattan or somethin’? Is every other pony in the city a monster? How the hay could ya possibly have expected somethin’ like this?!” demanded Apple Bloom.

“Because you live in Ponyville,” deadpanned Babs.

Apple Bloom blinked in surprise.

“What does that have to do with anythin’?” asked Apple Bloom with a confused look.

“Because it’s Ponyville! It’s Equestria's biggest weirdness magnet! You live on the edge of da Everfree Forest, you have more major disasters than the rest of Equestria combined, and that’s just the stuff that I know is true! And since I got here, everythin’ I look at makes this place look crazier! You have a dentist who lives in another town, a store that only sells two thins, a motherly alcoholic, and that thin with the lemons…”

Apple Bloom opened her mouth to argue, but then closed it as she realized that Babs kind of had a point. Ponyville WAS a pretty crazy town.

“So, no, the fact that you’re actually a ghoul don’t bother me. Hay, it barely surprises me. And to be honest, I overheard my ma and sista bettin’ on whether I’d come home as a timber-pony or a vampire. I figure turnin’ into a ghoul is par for the course,” added Babs.

Apple Bloom shook her head.

“Ah told ya Ah’m not contagious, Babs. We ain’t got no vampires or timber-ponies either. Yer gonna go home as yerself. But that’s not why Ah wanted to tell ya this, Babs,” she added.

“I figured. It’s about what happen’ today, isn’t it?” asked Bab with a resigned sigh.

“Yeah, it is. Ya see, Ah know how ya feel right now. Ponies like Diamond Tiara make ya think ya ain’t ever gonna amount to much. Yeah, her teasing can hurt, but ya know what? One day yer gonna get a mark to prove ‘em wrong. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but ya will. And Ah won’t.”

Apple Bloom pointed a hoof towards her burnt-looking flank.

“Ah ain’t ever gonna get a cutie mark. As much as Ah hate what Diamond Tiara says about me, Ah have to accept that she’s kind of right. I am a blank flank. I’ll always be a blank flank. But you Babs? Ya won’t. And when ya finally get yer mark, nopony is going to tease ya about it anymore. Ah’m gonna either have to find a way to fake one, or put up with bullies like Diamond Tiara for the rest of mah life.”

“So don’t ya go feeling sorry for yerself just ‘cause one or two ponies make fun of ya. Because unlike me, ya know that they’re wrong when they say yer never gonna get one,” finished Apple Bloom.

Babs was quiet for a moment.

“You ain’t never goin’ get a cutie mark?” She asked, her voice subdued.

“Not unless the curse is broken. That won’t be possible until that stupid town pops up again. And the Princess said that could take over a hundred years,” explained Apple Bloom.

“That’s terrible…” mumbled Babs.

The two of them just sat there on the bed in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

“So… uh… do your friends know?” Babs asked in curiousity.

“Yeah, but they’re cool with it. To tell ya the truth, they have their own little problems to worry about,” said Apple Bloom absent mindedly.

“Really? What, is one of ‘em an alien or somethin’?” asked Babs in surprise.

Apple Bloom blinked, then cursed at herself for letting that slip.

“No, and it ain’t mah story to share. If ya really want to know, ask them yerself. And uh… don’t mention this to anypony? We’re all kinda tryin’ to avoid sharin’ our secrets right now…”

“Mah lips are sealed,” promised Babs.

The Summer Harvest Parade was a resounding success. There were no accidents, no stolen floats, and everypony involved had a blast. Though a few walked away with a mild headache as Pinkie Pie was in an exceptional punny mood that day.

Apple Bloom’s little speech had done the trick. While Babs was still wary of a certain duo the entire time, they managed to avoid running into them again. She clearly still had a lot of fun being part of the event.

Everything went swimmingly. Except for one little detail that came up while they were on their float.

“Apple Bloom!” whispered Scootaloo in a frantic tone.

“Ah’m sorry! Ah just let it slip!” answered Applebloom as she covered her face with her hooves.

“I just asked if ya willin’ to share. You don have to if you don want to,” added Babs.

“What the point in hiding it if you already know we’re hiding something? Besides, if we don’t tell you, you’ll just assume we’re something even crazier than what we actually are,” said Sweetie Belle with a sigh.

“What makes ya think that?” asked Babs.

“Yer first guess was aliens, Babs,” mumbled Apple Bloom through her hooves.

“Oh yeah. Good point,” admitted Babs.

And so, Babs Seed learned that she had spent the last week with a ghoul, a robot, and a changeling. She took it just as well as she took Apple Bloom’s secret for the same reason as before.

Finally, as the celebration began to wind down, the four of them met up with Applejack and they all made their way to the train station to see Babs off.

“Thanks for havin’ me everypony. I had a great tam,” said Babs.

“It was our pleasure, sugarcube,” said Applejack with a smile.

“Yeah. it was awesome. You definitely need to visit us again sometime,” added Scootaloo.

“Ya know, that don’t sound like too bad an idea,” said Babs with a nod.

When they arrived at the station, Applejack headed to the booth to get the train ticket, giving the four of them one last moment together.

“You sure you don’t want to be a part of our club? We don’t have attendance requirements or anything,” mentioned Sweetie Belle.

“Hay no!” said Babs Seed with a wave of her hoof, “I just know that the moment I join you girls, I’ll turn into a bawt pony or somethin’. I like bein’ mahself, thank ya very much. I’m goin’ go crusading whenever I can, but officially, no I am not a crusadah.”

Scootaloo gave a huff. She was still a little mad about Apple Bloom letting that slip. Just a little.

“Well, we’re glad to have ya as an unofficial member all the same. Ya take care of yerself, Babs,” said Apple Bloom, offering a hoof.

“You too, cousin,” said Babs as she shook it.

A moment later, Applejack came back with the ticket, and Babs got on the train.

The four ponies made their way back to Sweet Apple Acres, happily talking about what they’d seen and done during the festival.

“... and then a pie came flying out of nowhere, and hits her right in the face! But even that didn’t stop her! She just licked herself clean, saying ‘now I really am a Pinkie pie!’ Seriously, I know Pinkie is Pinkie and all, but when she starts making puns, she never stops,” said Scootaloo with a shake of her head.

“Well, at least she didn’t try to eat any of the floats this year. Remember that one time she took a bite out of the float she helped make?” commented Sweetie Belle.

“Pah. That’s nothin’. Y’all wanna hear ‘bout the time she tried to eat a giant cupcake made of cardboard?” asked Applejack.

“Really? How’d she do that?” asked Apple Bloom.

“She didn’t. Ah said she tried,” answered Applejack with a smirk.

They all giggled at thought of Pinkie trying to force down cardboard.

“So, Apple Bloom, when were ya plannin’ on tellin’ me that yer freinds are hiding secrets too?” asked Applejack.

The question came so suddenly that it took a moment for it to register. When it did, the CMC all stopped, turned, and looked at Applejack in horror.

“Next time ya have a heart to heart in the middle of the night, Apple Bloom, remember to keep yer voices down and close the door so the rest of the house doesn’t hear it,” chided Applejack.

Apple Bloom groaned and facehooved.

Author's Note

It's done! It's finally done!

And I think it's the worst thing I've posted on this site. I am so sorry for my pitiful attempt to write a New York accent.

I also apologize to everyone who was expecting Babs Seed to have a secret of her own. I'd decided back when I first started writing this story that she'd be the sane one whenever she shows up. As such, she is a perfectly normal pony.

For now.

:)

Chapter 5: Tearing Off the Bandage

After hearing their stories, Applejack paced back and forth. Her face jumped between confused, troubled, and several other expressions. She was, however, clearly getting more and more frustrated. It was apparent that she had some conflicting thoughts about what had been revealed to her.

It also occurred to Scootaloo that trying to convince the Element of Honesty to keep a secret that wasn’t directly tied to her family was going to be virtually impossible.

“Uh… Are we in trouble? She looks really upset,” Scootaloo whispered to Apple Bloom.

“Nah. She always gets like this when she’s arguin’ with somepony really stubborn, like herself,” Apple Bloom whispered back.

“Oh. So no reason to worry?” asked Scootaloo.

“I didn’t say we’re in the clear, just that she ain’t mad at us. She could still decide to do somethin’ drastic,” Apple Bloom replied.

Scootaloo gulped at the prospect.

Applejack gave a frustrated grunt, but continued to pace.

Uh… mom? Can I get a little help here? Scootaloo asked over the hivemind.

I’m halfway to Hoofington right now. You’ll have to ask your siblings, sweetie, came the reply.

Busy, one of her sisters called.

Busy, said another one.

Too tired, added one of her brothers.

Busy...

And so on until at last, there was one changeling who volunteered to help.

Don’t worry Scooter! Big sister Goose is on the way! Her older sister joyfully cried.

Scootaloo cringed.

Goose, remember what happened last you tried to ‘help’ me? Scootaloo less-then-gently reminded.

Nope! It must have been something silly if I can’t remember, answered Goose.

Yeah, how could somepony who forgot the time she broke my leg possibly forget something important? Another changeling added.

I did what? Asked Goose.

With a sigh, Scootaloo tuned out the hivemind. Clearly, she wasn't getting any help keeping Applejack from telling everypony in Ponyville that there were changelings living in town.

One would think something like that would be taken more seriously.

Finally, Applejack gave a frustrated huff, and turned toward the three fillies in front of her.

“Alright, Ah’ve made a decision,” she announced.

All three of them tensed up.

“First off, Ah realize that it’d be mighty unfair for me to just out y’all when mah own sister has a problem of her own, so Ah ain’t gonna report this to anypony. Not yet at least,” she said with a serious look.

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle started sweating.

Applejack pointed a hoof toward Sweetie Belle before she continued speaking.

“Ah don’t know the first thing about fancy machines, but Ah do know that just because somethin’s fancy doesn’t mean it’s workin’ right. Ah believe ya when ya say ya don’t know why you're a machine, but that just tells me ya need somepony to take a proper look at ya. And that means you're paying a visit to Twilight tomorrow and tellin’ her everythin’,” Applejack said.

“What?!” Sweetie Belle nervously squealed, “But… But…”

“You’re gettin’ a check up, and it’s either the pony who’s mah friend and already knows Apple Bloom’s secret, or some stranger who happens to know a thing or two about machines. And Ah’m tellin’ Twilight the truth either way, so ya might as well go to her,” said Applejack, her tone suggesting the matter wasn’t up for debate.

Any objections Sweetie Belle could have voiced were buried under her anxious mumbles and squeaks. Applejack did have a point: having somepony who actually worked with machines give her a proper examination would be a good idea.

As long as it didn’t result in, say, dissection to find out what made her tick.

Applejack then turned to face Scootaloo, her expression somehow becoming even more serious.

Scootaloo felt herself wilting under her gaze.

“And as for you, Ah have no reason to trust the word of a changeling. It’s what ya claim is the truth, vs what Ah saw for mahself at the weddin’. While Ah’m willin’ to give you the benefit of a doubt, it’s only because Apple Bloom’s not a mindless husk,” Applejack said before pausing to wince.

“Ah thought Ah told ya Ah don’t care. Ah am a husk. Not sayin’ it doesn’t make it less true,” Apple Bloom grumbled.

“Anyway, mah point stands. You’re a changeling. Bein’ a different color doesn’t make you less of a love-eatin’ monster. Ah don’t trust ya, and unless ya can prove beyond a doubt that you’re the pony I’ve seen runnin’ around mah farm, that’s not changin’ anytime soon,” declared Applejack.

Scootaloo gave a resigned sigh. She could see where Applejack was coming from. Chrysalis hadn’t exactly left a great impression about changelings. This didn’t make Applejack’s attitude any more pleasant, though.

At least she hadn’t said the P word.

“Alright then, what do you want me to do to prove it? Arrange a meeting with my Queen or something?” asked Scootaloo.

“Ah have an idea, but it doesn’t involve ya, and Ah don’t want ya settin’ somethin’ up beforehoof, so Ah ain’t tellin’ ya. But if ya really want to try and earn mah trust, ya can tell all mah friends who don’t know the truth yet what’s goin’ on,” said Applejack.

Scootaloo winced at the idea, but she had to admit that if Sweetie Belle was going to have to fess up, she’d might as well do the same. It was only fair.

Applejack then turned to face her sister.

“That goes for you too, Apple Bloom. If Rarity and Fluttershy both know one of your friends’ secrets already, Ah see no point in keepin’ your secret from them as well,” Applejack declared.

Apple Bloom sighed.

“Alright, but if Fluttershy ends up in the hospital from a heart attack, Ah ain’t takin’ responsibility,” said Apple Bloom.

Applejack rolled her eyes.

“Right, so me and the girls have a get together planned tomorrow evenin’ a little after sundown. Y’all have until then to let everypony know about your secrets, or Ah tell them mahself. Agreed?” asked Applejack.

“Agreed,” came three resigned answers.

The next day, Scootaloo’s morning started as it usually did: too early.

Gooooood morning! Who’s ready for omelets? Called a voice over the hive mind.

The answer came in the form of a few joyful cheers, and more than a few groans.

Ugh… Butter! How many times do we have to tell you not to broadcast to the whole hive first thing in the morning! A different voice argued.

Several other voices joined in.

Do you have any idea what time it is?!

I was up till two in the morning last night! I need more sleep!

Seriously...

And did you have to mention what you’re cooking again? You keep making me hungry!

Yeah! How am I going to lose weight if you keep giving me cravings for cheese?!

Oops. Sorry everypony!

With a groan Scootaloo pulled herself out of bed. Who needs an alarm clock when you have an older brother who keeps forgetting to let his siblings sleep in?

Seriously, Butter. Do we have to have somepony in the hive duct tape a note to your head?

Didn’t Poppy try that last week?

No, she just stuck a note on the fridge. You know, the one with all our cousins’ drawings on it?

Ugh…

Groan...

Dang it, Poppy!

Well, where else was I going to put it? On the stove?

Wait, why are we all getting mad at Poppy instead of Butter?

Yeah! It’s totally Butter’s fault! Everything is Butter’s fault!

Oh, be quiet, Twitch!

Make me!

Scootaloo sighed and toned out the argument. She had a long and stressful day ahead of her, the last thing she needed was a headache as well.

Besides, Butter had made her hungry too.

Some time later, the CMC met up at the clubhouse. They didn’t say anything. They all just made their way to the bean bags and flopped down, staring at the ceiling.

Several minutes passed before anypony moved.

“You know, sitting here all morning isn’t going to make this any easier,” muttered Sweetie Belle.

“Ah don’t see ya gettin’ up and headin’ out,” Apple Bloom muttered in return.

“She’s not the one that let our secrets slip to the Element of Honesty, Apple Bloom,” Scootaloo pointed out.

Apple Bloom gave a groan of regret.

“Applejack sleeps like a rock. What the hay was she doin’ up that late?” she moaned a little louder then she probably intended.

“Does it matter? We still have to tell my sister and her friends what's going on,” stated Sweetie Belle.

“Wait, I thought you were terrified of telling Twilight, Sweetie Belle. You seem pretty calm about it now,” noted Scootaloo.

“You think I’m happy about this? I’m the one who could end up dissected here! The worst thing you two have to worry about is scaring somepony!” argued Sweetie Belle.

“And Twilight won’t want to dissect a changeling? The bug ponies that crashed her brother’s wedding? And don’t forget I’m not the only changeling in ponyville. What if this starts an anti-changeling search or something? I could get my entire family driven out! I could get into serious trouble!” exclaimed Scootaloo.

“Trouble? The Princesses are tryin’ to turn changelings into citizens. Ah’m the monster from the Everfree! Ah’m the one that’ll make Fluttershy scream when she sees me! If anypony’s gettin’ driven out, it’ll be me! ” Apple Bloom argued back.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Yeah, to your farm. You don’t exactly live in the middle of town. I do. If my secret goes public…”

“Then you can just go to yer hive thing! You’re a changeling! How hard can it be for you to just turn into somepony else and…”

“Very hard! Do you have any idea how much paperwork…”

“Ok, that’s enough!” yelled Sweetie Belle.

Her friends cringed and turned toward her.

“Look, regardless of who’s in greater danger, I think we can all agree that it’d be better if we tell them ourselves instead of Applejack doing it, right?” Sweetie Belle asked.

She got a pair of reluctant nods.

“Then let’s stop arguing and just get it over with. The longer we sit here worrying about it, the harder it’s going to be for us to actually do it,” explained Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo shared a look and sighed.

“Yeah, you’re right Sweetie Belle,” admitted Scootaloo.

“Though maybe we can start with yer sister? Ah mean, Ah think she’s the one we’re all worried about the least,” suggested Apple Bloom.

“Yeah, that’d probably be a good idea. I mean, it’s Rarity. She’ll probably just faint or something. What’s the worst she could do to us?” said Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo glared at her. Sweetie Belle facehooved.

“Why did I say that?” she moaned.

The CMC’s fears were realized. What awaited them at Carousel Boutique was undoubtedly the worst possible thing that could have happened to them.

“Well girls, it was nice knowing you, but it looks like this is the end,” said Scootaloo, fighting to hold back her tears.

“Yep. It was fun while it lasted,” said Apple Bloom, with a pained look.

Rarity rolled her eyes.

“Oh, don’t be such drama queens. I’m just straightening your manes a bit,” she chided.

Sweetie Belle was stuck between giggling and wincing at her friends' suffering.

Scootaloo sighed. Rarity’s reaction to their reveal had been mixed. On the one hoof, the scream was expected. The insistence on styling both their undisguised manes before continuing the conversation however, was not.

“Honestly, how did you get your manes in such states? I understand you can’t help how fray and thin they are, but you could at least try to straighten them out now and again,” said Rarity as she attacked the tangled mops in front of her with several combs.

“Changing always messes it up. Besides, I can just change my disguise’s mane style, so there's never really a reason to,” explained Scootaloo through clenched teeth.

Why did combs have to hurt so much?

“And mah mane’s always like this- Gah!” Apple Bloom winced in pain.

“Sorry darling, but this knot is being as stubborn as your sister. And if this is how you always do your mane, I believe I’ll have to have words with Applejack about proper mane care. It’s simply not healthy to…”

CRACK!

Rarity stopped talking in shock. It turned out that the knot in Apple Bloom’s mane was stronger than her undead neck, leaving her head dangling from the comb in Rarity’s magic field.

“Ah don’t think bein’ healthy’s much of a concern for me these days,” muttered Apple Bloom’s head.

With the messy manes fixed to the point she could stand to look at them, Rarity gave the ghoul and changeling her full attention.

“I can not say I’m delighted to learn of these developments, but I suppose it could be worse. At the very least your new colors seem to go well together, though personally I think red and black is one of the most overrated combinations possible,” noted Rarity.

Scootaloo fought back a moan.

“Ok, are you going to take this seriously? I get that fashion and colors and all that fancy stuff is your thing, but is that really what you should be focusing on right now?” asked Scootaloo.

Rarity sighed.

“Not really, but I don’t see what else to do. It’s rather plain to see that you two are still perfectly normal fillies aside from your appearance, and I’m hardly an expert on undead ponies or changelings. Well, aside from perhaps Apple Bloom’s appearance. You do have a striking resemblance to this one undead gentlecolt I read about the other evening,” she admitted.

That raised a few eyebrows, though Sweetie Belle just facehooved.

“Since when did you read anything other than romance books?” asked Scootaloo.

“She doesn’t. There’s just such a thing as a zombie romance story. One I deeply regret reading,” answered Sweetie Belle.

“Oh come now. I admit the story was a tad silly at some points, but it wasn’t that bad,” said Rarity.

Sweetie Belle just grumbled to herself, though Scootaloo thought she heard “love does not cure zombies,” or something ridiculous like that.

“OK, but what about me? Aren’t you are a little concerned that there might be changelings in Ponyville, or something?” asked Scootaloo.

“I see no reason why I should. After all, those ruffians from the wedding were clearly the trouble causing sort, rather than typical citizens of your people,” explained Rarity.

Wait, what? Though Scootaloo.

Her expression prompted Rarity to explain.

“I thought it was quite obvious. Their poses, their movements… There was no doubt in my mind that they were fully aware that they were acting as criminals. Although, now that I think about it, I suppose Applejack might have had difficulty noticing such things. Don’t worry, Scootaloo, I’ll have a word with her during our outing this evening,” reassured Rarity.

Scootaloo let out a sigh of relief. That might help a little.

“What are you even doing tonight?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Oh, you know, socializing and what not. Nothing you’d be interested in,” said Rarity with a wave of her hoof.

Pinkie Pie shuffled her cards with a confident smirk.

“Just you wait, Rarity. I’m winning back my emergency ice cream tonight!”

With one of their revelations behind them without incident, the CMC felt a bit more confident as they approached Fluttershy’s cottage.

“OK, the plan is that I explain things to her, then Sweetie Belle reveals herself, and we only take Apple Bloom’s bow off if Fluttershy insists we show her,” said Scootaloo.

“Sounds good to me,” said Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom sighed.

“As good a plan as any Ah guess,” she said.

Scootaloo reached over and gave Apple Bloom a quick hug.

“It’ll be fine, Apple Bloom. And even if things go wrong, the two of us will be here for you,” she reassured her friend.

“Ah hope so. We’re overdue for somethin’ to go horribly wrong,” admitted Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes, but didn’t comment.

With their resolve set, the three of them made their way to the door.

As they got close, however, they noticed the sound of a conversation coming from a open window.

“... and the next thing I know, I’m stuck in a classroom for something I actually wanted to learn! How crazy is that?” came the voice of Rainbow Dash.

The CMC stopped, turned, and made their way to the window, silently agreeing to listen in. They were curious as to why Rainbow Dash was visiting Fluttershy.

When they peeked in, they saw that it wasn’t just Rainbow Dash who had stopped by for a visit.

“Really now?” said Applejack, her raised eyebrow almost audible.

The CMC looked at each other. Applejack was here too?

“Oh yes. And it proved to be quite informative. They even taught us a few techniques to blend in with them,” added the voice of Fluttershy.

“Yeah. Those tips came in handy during the wedding. You should have seen it Applejack. I managed to trick a few into thinking I was one of them, putting me in the perfect spot to strike them when they were focused on Fluttershy,” said Rainbow.

Wait, are they talking about… thought Scootaloo as the realization came to her.

It seemed Applejack’s plan to find out if she could trust Scootaloo was to talk with the two ponies Scootaloo claimed had known her secret for ages, without giving her time to set something up between them.

“Ah know. Ya kept tellin’ us about it for days after the weddin’,” deadpanned Applejack.

“Yeah, well it wasn’t just me. Fluttershy managed to actually trick a few into actually walking out of the fight,” said Rainbow.

“Um… I really just pointed my hoof and made an angry face,” admitted Fluttershy.

“Oh please. You’ve been hanging out with changelings for years. I bet you could spot one in a crowd while blindfolded,” said Rainbow.

“I wouldn’t say that…” said Fluttershy.

“Ah think we’re gettin’ off point. This whole hive thin’ is interestin’ and all, but I still want a clear answer to the reason Ah’m here. Are ya sure Ah can trust these changelings?” asked Applejack.

“Oh. I think so. I mean, there are bad changelings out there, just like there are bad ponies, but I’ve known the changelings from Scootaloo’s hive for a very long time. I can even take you to visit their hive if it would help,” suggested Fluttershy.

Applejack let out a sigh.

“Nah, that’s fine. Scootaloo already offered, and if y’all are right about this upcomin’ royal visit to their hive, Ah guess Ah have no reason to think she was lyin’,” admitted Applejack.

“I get ya, AJ. Changelings can be kind of creepy at first, but they’re an alright bunch,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Well, thanks for talkin’ with me. Ah guess Ah owe Scootaloo an apology for the attitude,” said Applejack as she got up to leave.

Meanwhile, the CMC gave each other happy looks. This was turning out much better than they had dared to hope.

“Oh, it’s no problem,” said Fluttershy with a smile.

“Yeah. Good job getting them to talk, by the way. I was worried they were going to keep putting it off and…” Rainbow paused, her expression quickly getting fearful at her slip up.

An expression the CMC shared.

“They? Oh! Are you talking about Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom’s secrets? I… um… kind of already know about them,” admitted Fluttershy.

“What?!” cried Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom, before slamming their hooves over their mouths.

Scootaloo had to hold back the urge to slam her own hooves into her face.

The three adult ponies turned toward the window, looking surprised, though Applejack quickly looked annoyed as well.

Apple Bloom forced herself to speak.

“Uh… We were just, ya know, comin’ to tell Fluttershy about… ya know…” she stammered out.

Rainbow Dash and Applejack rolled their eyes. Fluttershy, on the other hoof, seemed to be on the verge of tears.

“I’m so sorry. A lot of my animal friends have stronger noses than ponies, so they can smell that Sweetie Belle is made of metal, and that Apple Bloom kind of smells, well… sorry… like a dead body... Sorry... And they told me about it so… I’m so so SO sorry…” confessed Fluttershy.

Everypony shared an awkward look for a moment, finally, Sweetie Belle let out a sigh.

“It’s OK Fluttershy, though now I have to ask,” she said before turning toward Apple Bloom.

“If you smell like a dead body, how the hay haven’t we noticed that before?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom gave her a deadpan look.

“Because of this amazin’ new invention called soap. Like Ah’d walk around without hidin’ that obvious sign that Ah’m undead,” said Apple Bloom with an eyeroll.

After a lengthy and painful lecture on eavesdropping, Applejack led Scootaloo outside for a private discussion.

“Ah just wanted to say Ah’m sorry. Ah gave ya some really harsh words last night, even though you were spillin’ yer heart out to me. Even if Ah had mah doubts, I shouldn't have snapped at ya,” Applejack admitted.

“It’s fine. I was there for the wedding. I know how bad an impression that left on you and everypony else. To be honest, I’m actually kind of surprised that you’re the only pony I’ve revealed myself to so far that was even a little suspicious of me,” reassured Scootaloo.

This announcement didn’t seem to make Applejack feel any better.

“Look, we’re used to being feared because we look like giant bugs. And if you look at our history and what we can do to ponies, you can see that some of that fear is justified. You were afraid, but you took the time to learn more before jumping to conclusions and apologized. If you’re genuinely willing to give us a chance, then as far as I’m concerned that’s the end of it,” declared Scootaloo.

Applejack sighed.

“Well, if ya feel that way, then Ah won’t make a big deal out of it...” she said before smirking.

“Although, now that Ah think about it, you’re talkin’ a lot more fancy than the Scootaloo Ah know would. Ya gettin’ any help with that speech?” she asked while tapping the side of her head.

Scootaloo facehooved.

I told you she’d notice, mom, she thought.

Darn. There goes my idea to outsource some of my presentations, grumbled Scootaloo’s mother.

We’d never have gone along with it anyway, mom, somepony called out.

At last, the CMC found themselves standing outside the Golden Oak Library.

“Welp, this is it. The big one,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yep. The pony most likely to make our lives miserable,” added Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom sighed.

“Ya know, considerin’ how well everypony else has taken it so far, Ah’m startin’ to think we were overreactin’. And really, would Twilight Sparkle, the pony who’s friends with our sisters and is livin’ in Ponyville to learn about friendship, really be the type to dissect somepony?” she asked.

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle shared a look before sighing as well.

“OK, if you stop and think about it, the whole dissection thing really isn’t all that likely. I mean, aside from the fact that Twilight’s too nice to do something like that, your sisters and Rainbow Dash would tear her apart if she actually hurt us,” admitted Scootaloo.

“Yeah, it does seem kind of ridiculous. Hay, if I was being completely honest, I probably just started thinking that might happen because I didn’t want to tell anypony my secret, not just Twilight,” confessed Sweetie Belle.

“Right. So we have everthin’ to gain and nothin’ to worry about. Worse case scenario, we’ll have to deal with Twilight constantly buggin’ us for interviews or somethin’. You ready, girls?” asked Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle nodded, their fear greatly reduced, and Apple Bloom knocked on the door.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to Scootaloo.

“Wait a second… are we going to tell Spike? He is one of Applejack’s friends too,” she pointed out.

Her friends shared an uncertain look.

“Well, he could end up just overhearing us when we tell Twilight. Or Twilight might just explain it all to him anyway. So... I guess we should tell Spike about it,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Tell me about what?” asked Spike.

The CMC turned back toward the door, which was already open with Spike standing in the doorway.

“We really need to learn how to stop lettin’ this stuff slip,” grumbled Apple Bloom.

Twilight Sparkle looked over her notes as she took in what had been revealed to her. Her expression was calm, but it was apparent that the gears in her head were spinning like mad.

The same was true for Spike, though his expression was mostly of awe.

Finally, she gave a sigh and turned toward the fillies in front of her.

“Alright, first thing first, I have to admit I already knew about Scootaloo’s hive. After the wedding I asked Princess Celestia for more information about changelings and she let me on everything. I’ve actually signed up to be a part of the upcoming visit to your hive. That said, I didn’t know that you were a changeling, Scootaloo. I just knew that changelings were in Ponyville,” said Twilight.

Scootaloo tried not to groan at the fact that it was so obvious that Twilight would have gone to her mentor for info. The same mentor her Queen had directly confessed to. Of course she would already know this stuff.

“Dig the fangs, by the way,” commented Spike.

“If you wouldn’t mind, Scootaloo, I’d like to arrange a meeting with either you or some other changeling in town sometime before the royal visitation. I’d really like to see what I can learn about your culture before seeing it for myself at your hive,” said Twilight.

Scootaloo shrugged.

“I don’t see why not, but I can’t make any promises. Celestia knows my siblings are always busy,” said Scootaloo.

Busy doing things like sleeping, she thought angrily.

Hey! Came several cries of outrage.

Twilight turned to Sweetie Belle next.

“And I’m not sure what to make of your secret, Sweetie Belle. While this is undoubtedly a huge development in the field of robotics, I have no idea what that development is as I have almost no experience with advanced machinery,” she admitted.

“Wait, What? But you’re Twilight Sparkle! You’re the smartest and most well-read pony in Equestria. How can you not know about everything science related?” cried Sweetie Belle.

“Because science is a blanket term for hundreds of fields of study. And I’ve spent most of my life learning the sciences of magic theory and spell craft. Yes, I know a lot about physics, chemistry, and several other fields. I even took a class on multiversal comprehension. But robotics? I barely know more than Rainbow Dash. I could probably build something focused around magic, but that’s about it,” explained Twilight.

“But we’ve seen ya build some fancy doohickeys before. Remember that wing-power thingy?” Apple Bloom pointed out.

“And what about all those fancy machines in your basement?” asked Scootaloo.

Twilight just sighed.

“I know how to use that complicated machinery, but I only have a vague understanding of how they work, and no idea how to build them myself. And I built that anemometer by following an instruction book on how to build one. I understand Applejack wants you to get a proper examination, and I agree, but the truth is I’m far from qualified for such a thing,” said Twilight.

“She’s right you know. Should have seen her try to build her own coffee maker,” added Spike.

Twilight gave Spike an annoyed glare.

Sweetie Belle started shifting nervously. It was apparent that she was less than thrilled that she would have to share her secret with yet another pony.

Twilight noticed and sighed.

“That said, if you’re willing give me a day or two, I can place an order for some books from the royal archive and see if I can’t cross reference anything while giving you an evaluation. Mind you, it won’t be as thorough as…”

“YES! I mean, yes, I would really appreciate it if you did that,” said Sweetie Belle with a blush.

Twilight gave a soft smile. Everyone else tried not to giggle.

“Alright then, it’s decided. I’ll stop over to let you know I’m ready,” said Twilight.

“OK, now that that’s taken care of, I can ask the important questions,” said Spike before turning to Sweetie Belle.

“Can you shoot laser beams out of your eyes? Or fly with rocket powered hooves? Or solve really hard math problems in seconds? Or...” Spike asked in rapid succession.

Sweetie Belle just sighed.

Boys.

And so, the day of revelations came to a close. Not counting each other or Scootaloo’s extended family, there were now seven ponies and a dragon that knew their secrets.

And yet, here they were, walking through town as if nothing had changed.

“You know, now that I think about it, it was kind of dumb for us to put off telling them for a week and a half.” commented Scootaloo.

“Though to be fair, most of the time was spent with mah cousin, so it wasn’t like we weren’t busy,” argued Apple Bloom.

“Now that it’s done and off our backs, what do we have to worry about now?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well, I have that upcoming royal visit to my hive to worry about,” said Scootaloo.

“Oh yeah, that,” admitted Sweetie Belle.

The reminder that Scootaloo’s hive was going to have visitors gave Apple Bloom an idea.

“Speakin’ of which, do ya think we could pay a visit too? Ah’d like to learn more about ya bug ponies,” suggested Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle put a hoof to her mouth in thought, and agreed.

“Yeah. It sounds like it’d be really interesting,” she added.

Scootaloo stopped in her tracks and stared at her friends.

“Why the hay would you want see my hive? The royal visit is so they can see that we didn’t hide anything when we revealed ourselves to the princesses and answer any questions they might still have. It’s not some big fancy palace or anything. It’s a giant cave full of changelings,” said Scootaloo.

“Yeah, but you’re not a bunch of mindless monsters. I’d like to see how you made a giant cave into a home you’d want to live in,” explained Sweetie Belle.

“And why the hay not, Scootaloo? Ya scared we won’t like your family or somethin’?” asked Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo sighed.

“Look, it’s not that I’m against it, it’s just that I’m only a filly. Our hive isn’t exactly open to visitors your know. I can’t just run up to my mom and ask if she can give me permission to show you where it is or…

I approve and authorize it, after we have a few days to prepare, said Scootaloo’s mom.

“WHAT?!” Scootaloo cried out loud.

Her friends backed up and shared an uncertain look.

Why not? They’re your friends, and it’s not as if they can’t keep a secret. Besides, I think it would do us some good to have some guests at the hive before the royal visitation so we can discover any pitfalls that we might have not considered, explained Scootaloo’s mom.

Scootaloo sighed.

“Alright, fine. My mom just gave us permission. We’re visiting the hive,” announced Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle cheered.

They didn’t notice that somepony had been watching them, had overheard everything, and had started getting ideas.

That night, the Mane Six met up at Sugarcube corner for their card game night.

They had barely drawn their cards before the topic came up.

“So… about Sweetie Belle and her friends…” started Rarity as she looked at her cards.

“Yeah. Are we all in the know now? We all understand what they’re putting up with?” asked Rainbow, her sunglasses hiding her gaze.

“Yepperoni! And it’s about time, too. I was getting tired of having to hide it,” said Pinkie Pie as she glanced at the table.

Applejack sighed. Once again, she had a really poor hand, and was doing a lousy job at hiding it.

“Y’all see the cruel irony of it all, right?” she asked.

“All this time, going to such length to find their cutie marks, and now…” Fluttershy mumbled, trying to avoid eye contact.

Fluttershy was on a bit of a winning streak, and didn’t want to see any of her friends upset about it.

“And we don’t even know everything yet. My resources have only given me small hints toward Apple Bloom’s condition and Scootaloo’s family, and absolutely nothing for Sweetie Belle yet. There’s so much left to learn about all three of them, and some of it might not be pleasant. In fact, I’m not sure if it’s even possible to get all the answers,” added Twilight as she drew a card.

“Well, Fluttershy knows a lot about changelings, so we’ll be able to get some answers for Scoots at least,” Rainbow pointed out.

Twilight looked at Fluttershy in excitement, but quickly forced herself to calm down to avoid scaring her.

“I don’t know everything about changelings. There’s a lot of things private things the hive didn’t tell me. And I didn’t want to be a bother so I never asked,” admitted Fluttershy.

Everypony gave nods of understanding, though Twilight still looked very interested in hearing what Fluttershy knew.

“And even if we do find answers, that doesn't change the fact that the three of them are gonna have lots of problems down the line since they ain’t normal ponies,” Applejack pointed out.

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that part,” said Pinkie as she happily slapped a card down.

Everypony turned to Pinkie in surprise at her statement. Also, how the hay had she gotten that card?

“Yeah, the three of them still have a ways to go, but they have each other, and they have us. And I can Pinkie Promise that I’m not going to let being a little robotish, undeadish, or changelingish bring any of them down,” Pinkie declared.

Pinkie's friends looked at each other, all agreeing that Pinkie was right, in her own special way. No matter what would come, the six of them would be there to help.

“Besides, I overheard them planning to visit the hive. It also gave me the idea to send a letter asking some of my lich friends to come visit. And with Twilight giving Sweetie Belle a check-up in a few days, it shouldn’t be too hard to get some answers,” said Pinkie.

The room fell silent again, before there were five cries of:

“WHAT?!”

Author's Note

Ha! Take that writer's block! I have three whole chapters planned now!

Also, no, the Mane Six are not playing a poker tournament. That'd be silly.

They're playing a Magic: The Gathering tournament.

Chapter 6: VS Sweetie Bot, Round 2

“Hi, Sweetie Bot,” mumbled Sweetie Belle as she gazed at her reflection.

It was late in the evening, and Sweetie Belle had glanced at her mirror again. Her appearance always made her pause and, well, reflect on her situation. These reflections never failed to put her in a sour mood. The numerous lines covering her body, the glowing green material on her horn, the unnatural shine from her glass-like eyes… No matter how many times she saw it, it still bothered her.

“I see you’re looking as sharp-looking and machine-like as ever,” she muttered.

Sweetie Belle raised a hoof and pressed it against the mirror.

“What are you?” she asked, as if the robot in front of her was somepony else.

“Why do you exist? How can you exist? Are you just a replacement for the pony who lived here? Or are you that pony trapped in a body made of metal? Have you always been here? Or did you only take her place a few weeks ago?”

Sweetie Belle let out a sigh. There was just so much she didn’t know.

Suddenly, there was a knock on her door.

“Sweetie Belle? Please tell me you’re not contemplating the fragility of your existence in front of the mirror again,” called Rarity from outside.

Sweetie Belle winched.

“Uh… no? I was just… combing my mane,” she said.

Sweetie Belle could have sworn she heard her sister roll her eyes.

“I’m coming in, Sweetie Belle,” said Rarity as she opened the door and walked in.

Sweetie Belle just sighed and trotted over to sit on her bed.

“Sweetie Belle, we’ve talked about this. Several times, in fact. Staring at your reflection like this isn’t going to get you any answers. It’s only going to put you in a bad mood,” chided Rarity.

“I know,” grumbled Sweetie Belle.

“Then why do you continue to do this to yourself? Yes, we know very little about your… condition, but we’ll get nowhere by thinking depressing thoughts on the matter,” said Rarity.

“How can I not think depressing thoughts? I’m something that shouldn’t exist. Scootaloo has a whole family with the same problem. Apple Bloom’s curse actually has a name. I could be anything from a walking toaster to some kind of death machine,” said Sweetie Belle.

“And so what if you are? We cannot decide what we are born as or changed into by forces outside our control. And I know my sister will never embrace such a horrid role if it has indeed been thrust upon her. You are still my sister, and I promise nothing will ever change that,” declared Rarity.

“If I even am your sister and not some replacement for her,” said Sweetie Belle as she turned away.

Rarity didn’t answer right away. Instead, she walked over to Sweetie Belle and held her close.

“Sweetie Belle, I cannot deny that is a possibility. However, that does not change my promise. Even if you are not my sister, my blood, you are still a sweet little filly who cares deeply for me, for your friends, and for everypony else you meet who deserves your love. I am happy to have you in my life, and I’m willing to wager that if that particular scenario proves to be true, Sweetie Belle would be happy to have you as a new sister as well,” reassured Rarity.

Sweetie Belle’s eyes began to water. Rarity loved her, even if she wasn’t her sister. That single fact made everything in the world seem right again. Sweetie Belle gave into her emotions, let her tears freely flow, and returned Rarity’s hug.

“Thank… thank you sis,” Sweetie Belle said with a sniffle.

Rarity, doing everything in her power to ignore the tears staining her coat, leaned tighter into the hug.

“Anytime, Sweetie Belle. Anytime,” she gently whispered into her sister's ear.

The next morning, Sweetie Belle started her day by finishing her book.

“… Space Unicorn, We are in your debt. I would be honored to have you as part of the galactic…”

“Oh no, sir. I prefer doing things my own way,” said Space with a smirk.

General Pepper Tail rolled his eyes.

“Of course you do. You have such talent, Space. Why do you spend it delivering rainbows?” asked the General.

Space gave a honest smile.

“Because no matter how many times I save the galaxy, nothing makes me happier than the smiles of children when they receive their rainbows. I wouldn’t give that up for anything,” said Space.

Sweetie Belle closed her book and sighed the content sigh of completion.

“You know what, next time Pinkie Pie gives me a book recommendation, I’m taking it no matter how ridiculous it sounds. I’d have never guessed a story about fighting evil cake ladies in space could be so interesting,” she said to herself.

Ready to face the day, Sweetie Belle got up and stretched, her metal limbs giving a slight metallic squeal as she did so. It still sounded weird to her ears, but she had to admit she was starting to get used to it.

“Another day in the life of a pony robot. I wonder when Scootaloo’s mom’s going to say she’s ready for us to visit,” Sweetie Belle mumbled to herself as she made her way downstairs for breakfast, taking care to avoid looking at the mirror again.

“Morning Rarity,” greeted Sweetie Belle as she reached the kitchen.

“Good morning, Sweetie Belle. Care for some pancakes?” asked Rarity.

Before Sweetie Belle could respond, however, there was a knock on the door.

“Oh? Who could that be this early?” asked Rarity as she made her way to answer it.

She opened it to see Twilight Sparkle with an eager look on her face.

“Good morning, Rarity. Is Sweetie Belle awake?” asked Twilight.

Upon hearing her name, Sweetie Belle joined her sister at the door.

“Ah. Good morning. I just wanted to let you know that I received those books I ordered late last night. Whenever you’re ready, we can go ahead with that examination we talked about,” announced Twilight.

Sweetie Belle’s jaw dropped. So did Rarity’s.

“What?! But it’s only been two days! You told us it’d likely take an entire week for the order to get through. How could you have already… Oh. I suppose the Princess has taken an interest in Sweetie Belle’s condition then?” Rarity’s voice trailed off as the thought occurred to her.

Twilight nodded.

It had been expected. Princess Celestia was Twilight’s mentor, so naturally Twilight would want to keep the Princess in the loop. And considering that the Princess already knew about Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, there was really no point in keeping Sweetie Belle’s secret from her anyway. Besides, Apple Bloom mentioned that the Princesses had looked into the town that had cursed her. Sweetie Belle had figured the Princesses would probably be willing to help her too, so she’d had no objections.

“The Princess’s reply letter said that she’s very interested in what we can learn from Sweetie Belle, but also concerned for her safety. We won’t have to worry about an unexpected visit from any royal scholars unless we specifically ask for them. She also personally ensured I’d get the books as quickly as possible,” explained Twilight.

“I see. That’s excellent news. It’s quite reassuring to know the Princesses have Sweetie Belle’s best interests at heart,” said Rarity.

“I agree. Anyway Sweetie Belle, I’m going to spend my morning and afternoon giving the books a quick look over. After that, we can begin whenever you’re ready. Do you want your examination to be today?” asked Twilight.

Sweetie Belle sighed.

“Might as well. The sooner we get it over with, the sooner we might figure out why I’m a robot in the first place,” said Sweetie Belle.

Internally, though, she was starting to get really, really nervous.

Late in the afternoon, Sweetie Belle found herself at the library trying to keep her dread, which has been steadily growing all day, under control.

“Thanks for coming, Sweetie Belle. I’m just as anxious to get it done as you are. Is everypony here that you wanted to come with you?” asked Twilight.

Sweetie Belle gave a nervous nod. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were there for moral support. Rarity was there for the same reason and to make sure Twilight didn’t do anything drastic (her own words), Spike was already there to help with the examination, and Pinkie Pie…

“Wait, why is Pinkie Pie here?” asked Sweetie Belle when she realized Pinkie Pie was also in the library.

“Because she knows far, far more about robotics than me, and I figured it’d be a good idea to have somepony who actually has a clue what we’re dealing with provide a second opinion,” explained Twilight.

Sweetie Belle had thought about Vinyl Scratch, but decided not to bring her into this. Aside from it requiring her to share her secret with yet another pony, one that she didn’t know very well, she figured the DJ wouldn’t be very interested in all this science stuff.

Rarity rolled her eyes.

“I suppose there’s no harm in that, but I doubt Pinkie will be of much help. She’s changed her mind on what Sweetie Belle is so many times that I’m convinced she’s treating this all as some big joke,” said Rarity.

“Of course it’s a big joke! Can you think of Sweetie Belle the robot without having to resist the urge to start giggling? I can’t! ‘Come with me, if you want to have a cutie mark!’ It’s just so silly and out of the blue! If anypony would have secretly been a robot, I’d have guessed Mayor Mare because everypony knows politicians are…”

Pinkie was cut off as Twilight put a hoof to her mouth. Sweetie Belle was very grateful.

“Pinkie, can you please take this seriously? Can’t you see how nervous Sweetie Belle is? We need to find some clear answers, and we can’t do that if you keep making jokes about this,” said Twilight.

Pinkie pushed Twilight's hoof away.

“I know that. I just don’t know the answers, so instead I’m trying to make sure she doesn’t put herself into a funk trying to figure it out. What she really needs right now is the ability to laugh at herself. It doesn’t matter if she’s a robot, an alien, or a robot alien if knowing the truth only makes her depressed. And if she doesn’t feel like smiling at a few silly jokes now, how the hay is she going to be able to smile when she has all the answers?” asked Pinkie.

Everypony else shared an awkward look as they considered Pinkie’s words. She actually had a point there.

“Ok, that’s enough deep thinking for me today. Cupcake time!” said Pinkie as she pulled a tray of cupcakes out of thin air and swallowed one whole.

Everyone rolled their eyes, but took a cupcake as well.

I really should listen to Pinkie Pie. I need to lighten up. I mean, Scootaloo laughs at bug jokes all the time, and Apple Bloom always gets mad when somepony tries to avoid commenting on the fact that she’s undead. I should be able to take a joke or two at my expense, right? thought Sweetie Belle as she bit into her cupcake.

“So… what exactly is this examination going to be like?” asked Scootaloo as she ate.

“Well, first I want to scrutinize Sweetie Belle’s circuitry and see if I can’t identify any functions that exist in my resources. Even if her composition is more abstract than anything recently conceived, I imagine I should be able to identify a few parallels and draw some deductions from the results,” explained Twilight.

Everypony except Sweetie Belle looked at Spike for the science-to-normal-talk translation.

“She’s going to look at Sweetie Belle’s insides and see if they match anything in her books,” Spike explained with an eyeroll.

“Right. Well, we gonna get started, then?” asked Apple Bloom.

“This is Sweetie Belle’s examination. It’s her decision,” said Twilight.

Sweetie Belle swallowed her cupcake.

There really isn’t any reason to put this off. Applejack was right, I don’t know if I’m even working properly, and the sooner we find out if something is wrong, the better. I just wish this didn’t seem so scary! Come on, Sweetie Belle, just… just think of it as a dentist appointment or something, she thought.

“Yeah. Let’s do this,” she declared.

As they headed down to the basement, they saw that Twilight had set up an examination area. There were overhanging lights, numerous books lined up for easy reading, and a large metal table with leg restraints on it, perfect for holding a robot filly in place.

The table probably would have made Sweetie Belle have a panic attack right then and there if it hadn’t had a small blanket on it, making it look somewhat less intimidating. Still, Sweetie Belle seriously started to consider making a run for it.

“Must you use restraints? I was under the impression this was going to be more of a doctor’s exam than an interrogation,” questioned Rarity.

“I don’t want her to thrash around while her insides are exposed, mechanical or not. I’m not putting her under sedatives, so this is the best option. And I put a blanket on it. It’s not going to be too uncomfortable,” reassured Twilight.

“Yeah! These hold-you-in-place things can be kind of fun when you’re not trying to break out of them before some crazy pony tries to turn you into a zombie!” exclaimed Pinkie.

Apple Bloom chuckled at the idea. Sweetie Belle found it rather less than amusing.

Seeing Sweetie Belle’s discomfort, Twilight leaned down to face her at eye level.

“Sweetie Belle, I understand you’re nervous, but I want you to know I’m not going to do anything without your permission. If you tell me no to anything, I won’t do it. If something hurts, I’ll stop what I’m doing right away. You’re here as a patient, not an experiment, and you have as much say in what we do down here as me, if not more so. OK?” asked Twilight.

Sweetie Belle gave a hesitant nod. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Twilight. The whole situation was just terrifying.

“Take your time, Sweetie Belle. You can get on the examination table whenever you're ready,” said Twilight.

“And we’ll be here with you the whole time,” reassured Scootaloo.

“Indeed,” added Rarity.

Apple Bloom nodded in agreement.

“Do you want another cupcake first?” asked Pinkie as she offered another pastry.

Sweetie Belle took several deep breaths.

I’m not here to be dissected. I’m not in some hidden lab in the middle of nowhere. I’m not surrounded by crazy ponies. I’m getting an exam. I’m in the middle of Ponyville, her home. I’m surrounded by my family and friends. There's nothing here worth panicking over, Sweetie Belle reassured herself.

And yet, the fear persisted.

“No thank you, Pinkie Pie. Let’s just… let’s just get this over with,” said Sweetie Belle.

Twilight looked like she wasn’t sure, but stepped aside so Sweetie Belle could climb onto the exam table.

As she climbed on and laid on her back, Sweetie Belle noticed that the blanket really did make the position surprisingly comfortable. She could see the faces around her with ease, though would probably have to raise her head quite a bit to look at her insides once she was opened up.

“Alright, I’m closing the restraints now,” announced Twilight as she gently moved Sweetie Belle’s legs into position.

Sweetie Belle gave a nod, but stayed quiet and forced her gaze towards the roof. She didn’t want to watch. With a soft click, she felt the metal close over her leg. It was snug, but not painfully so.

“It’s not too tight, is it?” asked Twilight.

“No, it’s fine,” mumbled Sweetie Belle.

Three more clicks, and she was locked in.

There was no escaping now. No way out, unless Twilight decided to release her. No way to…

“Sweetie Belle, the moment this becomes too much let me know and I’ll let you out right away, OK?” reassured Twilight.

Sweetie Belle took another deep breath. She seriously needed to calm down.

“Yeah, OK,” she said.

“Alright. Ready with that quill, Spike?” asked Twilight.

“Yep,” answered Spike.

“Right. First thing's first, let’s begin with a proper scientific documentation. Ahem… My name is Twilight Sparkle. It is now 5:48 P.M. on the twenty-sixth of July, year…”

It took almost ten minutes for Twilight to finish her opening statement. This did little to calm Sweetie Belle down.

What did help, however, was that Twilight stated numerous times that Sweetie Belle would have the absolute authority on what would be done. It was really only a small comfort, but it kept Sweetie Belle’s nerves under control.

“... and so, we are now ready to begin,” finished Twilight.

“Finally,” grumbled Scootaloo.

She got a sharp look from Rarity for it.

“Alright, Sweetie Belle, before we open you up, I think we should start by examining your exterior,” said Twilight.

Sweetie Belle nodded in agreement.

Twilight pulled out a magnifying glass and leaned over Sweetie Belle’s body.

“At a glance your coat is near indistinguishable from a natural one. Even the creases, while plainly visible, only result in breaks similar to scars rather than depressions,” noted Twilight.

“Yeah, though when you look really close you can see my skin’s kind of a silvery grey under my coat instead of something more normal,” added Sweetie Belle. She’d noticed it in the mirror several days ago.

“I see that, though it is difficult to notice without my magnifying glass. Hm… Upon looking closer inspection though, your hair also seems to be unnaturally uniform. I can’t see a single strand that’s longer or shorter than the rest,” noted Twilight.

Sweetie Belle blinked at this. She hadn’t thought to look at her coat for something like that.

“Well now I feel a tad jealous. It’s always so difficult to keep one’s coat in such perfect condition, no matter what beauty products one uses,” commented Rarity.

“I would disagree…” mumbled Spike as he looked at his crush.

“This isn’t just a case of being well groomed. This level of consistency simply isn’t possible unless you perfectly cut each individual hair. I shouldn't have to tell you how unfeasible that is, Rarity. Especially considering how natural physical activity would have resulted in some imperfections over the last week or so, robot or not,” Twilight pointed out.

That made everypony stop and think for a bit.

“Hm… maybe she has some kind of self-fixing thing going on? I mean, I read a comic book once about robots that could do that kind of stuff,” suggested Scootaloo.

“It’s certainly possible, Scootaloo. Sweetie Belle, would you mind if I take a few samples of your coat? Aside from testing this theory, I’d like to see if I can identify its composition with some chemical tests,” asked Twilight.

Sweetie Belle shrugged, or at least as best she could while held down.

“I don’t see why not,” she admitted.

Twilight levitated a pair of scissors and snipped away a few hairs from her barrel. It didn’t hurt, not that Sweetie Belle had expected it to or anything.

“I’ll look at the sample later, when you’re not locked down like this. Now then, I believe it’s time. Are you ready, Sweetie Belle?” asked Twilight.

Sweetie Belle took another deep breath and let it out.

“Yeah, just bang on my side a bit and I’ll open up. Just… just do it before I lose my nerve,” she said.

Twilight reached out and oh so gently tapped her hoof on Sweetie Belle’s side. The metallic tink sounded unusually loud to Sweetie Belle’s ears, as did the following click. Her heart, or robot equivalent, started racing.

“Amazing…” mumbled Twilight as she pulled the door open, taking in the array of wires, metal, and not-even-Celestia-knew what.

“Yeah. This is way, way, way more fancy than my party cannon,” added Pinkie.

Careful not to touch anything, Twilight levitated her magnifying glass over the circuits.

“This is definitely beyond anything I’ve ever seen, and it even appears to be beyond anything in my books. It’s as if I’m looking at something out of a science fiction novel. I have no idea what any of this is,” Twilight mumbled to herself.

“Well, that thingy looks like a sheep, that thingy looks like a mommy, and that thingy looks like a potato chip,” said Pinkie.

“Actually, a lot of these things look like potato chips. Big green potato chips with all kinds of dip splattered on them,” commented Spike.

“Interesting analogy, Spike. I’d have simply said they look like small decorated tiles. Alright, take a note. I don’t recognize this from my reading, but we’ll do a more thorough cross reference after we’ve closed her up,” decided Twilight.

Spike nodded and started writing again, while Twilight took another look.

Meanwhile, Sweetie Belle’s heart rate was finally starting to slow down. Twilight was being incredibly careful, and it was doing wonders for her anxiety.

“OK, in addition to the green ‘chips’ and wires, there seem to be several metallic structures in here as well. I can’t tell what purpose they’d serve but, they almost look like…” Twilight trailed off as her gaze turned toward Sweetie’s open door.

“Wait a minute. When you look at the inside of her open barrel you can see several indentations that appear to line up with these metal structures. What do you think Pinkie?” asked Twilight.

“I think you’re right, Twilight. If that joint right there turned juuuust so, then that tiny box thingy would push out into that stomach thingy. I wonder if it’s an ice cream dispenser,” mumbled Pinkie.

Sweetie Belle lifted her head up to see what on Equis they were talking about. By following their gazes she noticed that there appeared to be a small marking on the inside of her open door that, if she were closed, would lie over a small metal thing on her main body. Actually, there were several of these markings, all lining up with similar metal structures.

“You might be right, Pinkie. About the junction, not the ice cream. Sweetie Belle, would it be alright if I try to move this?” asked Twilight.

Sweetie Belle looked closer at what Twilight was pointing at. Now that she saw it, she had to agree that that particular bit of metal looked like some kind of pivot joint. While she was less than thrilled to have Twilight actually touch her insides, it seemed safe enough.

“I think so… I’m not sure what it is, though,” admitted Sweetie Belle.

“Alright, but be sure to let me know if this is proves to be painful in any way. I don’t want to hurt you,” said Twilight as she very gently held the metal in her magic and very slowly pulled it along the visible joint.

Sweetie Belle shivered. It didn’t hurt, but it felt like her insides were twisting a bit. Just a bit.

When it was fully extended it looked like a metal limb with a small black box at the tip. It was apparent that if it had been extended while Sweetie Belle was closed, it would have pushed out past her skin.

“There we go. It appears to be some kind of extendable frame for this small device. Judging from the length and position, I suspect that the indent on her skin can be opened. Assuming all these indents serve a similar purpose, I believe Sweetie Belle has several built-in utilities,” deducted Twilight.

“Or a bunch of really short robo legs. Maybe Sweetie Belle can turn into a robot spider or something,” added Pinkie.

“You hear that Sweetie Belle? You have super powers!” exclaimed Scootaloo.

“Twilight didn’t say that. Just that she has some fancy do-das in her that can do stuff,” Apple Bloom pointed out.

“Isn’t that what super powers are for robots?” countered Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle found herself giggling, though she had to admit it did sound likely. Maybe some of those weird things Sweetie Bot always pulled out of her head were special robot things she could do? It was certainly something to look into.

Her giggles didn’t stop when Twilight let go of the metal joint. As it slid back into place, it felt like something was tickling her as it moved. Twisting while going out, tickling while going in. Her body was so weird.

“Alright, moving on. I don’t think we can further analyse these, uh, chips without risking harm to Sweetie Belle, and there doesn’t appear to be anything else to identify from this angle, so I think we’ll move on to…” said Twilight.

“Hold on! We can still look behind all these potato chips,” objected Pinkie.

Twilight gave Pinkie a confused look.

“Uh, Pinkie? I thought I made it clear I’m not going to pull anything out of her,” said Twilight.

“You don’t have to. Look at these chips right here. They’re connected only by these wires. We can just push them aside and go deeper,” declared Pinkie.

“I don’t know, Pinkie...” started Twilight.

“We need to go deeper!” exclaimed Pinkie.

Twilight sighed.

“Alright, but only if you're OK with it, Sweetie Belle,” she relented.

Sweetie Belle sighed herself. Pulling on something that was clearly meant to move was one thing, but actually moving around her guts was another. Still, Twilight had promised not to do anything that hurt…

“I guess we can try. Just be really careful, OK?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“I promise. Alright, here we go,” said Twilight as she lit up her horn.

Once again, there was the sensation of her insides twisting, but no pain. Far more alarming, however, was the look of surprise that quickly appeared on Twilight’s face.

“What in the name of Celestia is this?” Twilight asked in an awed tone.

“A long string of spaghetti dipped in green sauce?” suggested Pinkie.

Sweetie Belle leaned up again to look. Twilight was holding several chips aside with her magic, revealing what at first appeared to be a large white wire. But as she looked at it, Sweetie Belle noticed that this wire seemed more… alive, for lack of a better term, and seemed to have a faint green glow.

“What is it?” she asked.

“I’m not sure. It’s clearly artificial, but it almost looks like…” Twilight’s voice trailed off as her expression turned to shock.

"I… I need to check something first, hold on,” said Twilight as she gently set the chips back into place, once again sending Sweetie Belle in a fit of giggles.

Her body just seemed to really like things going back where they belong.

Twilight turned and sprinted upstairs. She came back down a moment later levitating a book on magic theory. She flipped it open to a specific page, and then cast a spell that lit up her eyes in a lavender glow.

“Uh, Twilight, darling, why are you using a magic viewing spell?” asked Rarity.

“Give me a minute, Rarity. Let’s see here… the lines seem to match up… wavelength is in acceptable range… arcanic density as well… and the flow speed is…” Twilight mumbled to herself as she glanced between Sweetie Belle and her book.

Finally, she stopped casting the spell and set down the book. Her disbelief was plain to see.

“By Queen Faust, everything fits. I think… I think Sweetie Belle might posses artificial arcanic tissue!” exclaimed Twilight.

Everyone in the room dropped their jaws in disbelief except Apple Bloom.

“Artificial what now?” asked Apple Bloom.

Unfortunately, Apple Bloom said the cursed words, unleashing upon them all the horror known as a Twilight Sparkle Science Lecture (patent pending):

It is common knowledge that magic isn’t some supernatural ability, but rather a perfectly natural biological process. In fact the word magic is used to describe it because spellcraft was conceived thousands of years before the technology existed to understand how it was done. Today, magic is the casual term for a four step biological process officially known as EPOS: Ether Processing Oversaturation.

The first step is an unusual energy field that exists within Equis’s atmosphere known as the Ether. Because this energy is so abundant, all life on the planet evolved to harness the Ether. Within the cells of every living being are arcochondria, which absorb this raw Ether energy and, through a chemical reaction, turn it into a substance known as mana (similar to how the cell’s mitochondria absorb oxygen to create energy).

Mana is the second step. All living things, be they ponies, plants, dragons, and even micro organisms, need mana to function. It is because of mana that life on Equis became what it is today. The beneficial effects of mana are also believed to be the reason so many creatures who lack the brains for coherent thoughts can display various degrees of intelligence. However, there were several species, such as ponies, whose evolution took things a step further and produced far more mana than their bodies needed to function.

This led to the development of arcanic tissue, the third step. While classified as a tissue, this amazing material is more akin to crystal and develops across the body like a second nervous system. Once formed, the tissue absorbs the excess mana and stores it in a dormant state. While this can lead to unexpected surges in the early phases of the tissue’s development, the end result is a natural reserve of mana waiting to be harnessed.

And harnessing this stored mana is step four. By focusing the mana through certain points such as horns or wings, living beings can perform incredible feats by having the energy affect the world around it. Even subconscious magic, such as that of Earth ponies, draws from these natural mana pools.

This is where things get tricky. Arcanic tissue’s unique make up makes it impossible to be created outside of its natural development. Once the system is completely developed in the life form’s body, the body will not create more, even if the durable tissue is somehow damaged or removed. What’s more, because arcanic tissue’s crystal nature reduces the chance of biohazards, it’s actually possible to transplant with minimal risk, boosting the receiver's mana pool while reducing the donor's.

This is why magic removal is considered a horrendous deed only done to, and by, the worst criminals in history. Aside from increasing your own power at the expense of others, when you take away a being’s magic you’re ripping their arcanic tissue out of their body, which is even more painful than it sounds. Not to mention that without any natural means of processing the excess mana, the victim of full-body extraction will become vulnerable to mana poisoning: an otherwise non-existent condition which, while rarely fatal, can be physically crippling.

However, while taking another living being’s arcanic tissue is illegal outside of capital punishment, the concept of artificial arcanic tissue, or AAT, is not. Because of this, there have been countless attempts throughout history by all kinds of beings, both for noble and selfish reasons, to develop a material that could duplicate the mana storage of arcanic tissue.

Which is why it was so mind blowing that Sweetie Belle might posses it. If Sweetie Belle really had AAT, and it could somehow be duplicated, it would certainly result in at least three world altering developments:

1) It would make it safe and legal to experiment on what normally non-magical beings could do if they possessed arcanic tissue.

2) It would be possible for criminals who were stripped of their magic for heinous crimes to gain their magic back, rendering the current capital punishment moot and creating a brief but serious crisis.

3) The standard for magic capabilities would be raised astronomically, as the only limit to arcanic tissue a living being can have is how much they can carry in their bodies at once.

TL;DR: artifical arcanic tissue is kind of a big deal.

As everyone else tried to reboot their brains, Twilight slowly closed Sweetie Belle up.

“I knew I’d find something amazing, but I never imagined I’d find AAT. I’ll be blunt Sweetie Belle. This is a potentially world-altering development. However, I did promise I wouldn’t do anything that would hurt you, and I don’t need a degree in robotics to know that touching what might be AAT, let alone cutting out a sample, would most certainly be painful,” admitted Twilight.

“Not to mention we have no idea if whatever it’s made of can be duplicated. It might be some yet to be discovered material that nopony knows how to make,” pointed out Rarity.

“That’s if she’s from the future. It could also be some kind of alien goop that dissolves everything it touches for all we know,” added Pinkie.

“Both valid points backing my decision. Yes, this could be a historic discovery, but unless I have definitive proof that taking a sample will cause no harm and could prove informative, the possible AAT is staying in Sweetie Belle, and that’s final,” declared Twilight.

Sweetie Belle didn’t hear anything. She was too busy panicking. Her boiling fear had reached the breaking point.

I have AAT?! That’s not possible! It’s the single most impossible thing to create! The Princesses tried to make it! Starswirl the Bearded tried to make it! Every dragon lord that ever lived tried to make it! It just can’t be done! But I have it inside me?! What… WHAT THE BUCK AM I?! Sweetie Belle screamed in her mind.

“Sweetie Belle, calm down!” cried Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle turned to face her friend, breathing heavily.

“Look, Twilight just promised not to do anything to you. Yes, this is kind of a big deal, but we're not doing anything about it yet. Just take a few deep breaths and calm down. We’ll figure this out together, OK?” reassured Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle took a deep breath and let it out. She took another one, and let it out as well. She took several more, and then she finally began to calm down.

“OK… OK. I’m fine. I just have something inside me that could change the world several times over. No big deal,” Sweetie Belle moaned, mostly to herself.

“Yeah, world changing things are never a big deal at first. Nopony thought balloons were a big deal when they were invented, but look at them now! They’re the third most important invention in the history of ever!” added Pinkie.

Sweetie Belle gave a very half-hearted scof, but it did cheer her up a bit.

“Sweetie Belle…” started Twilight.

Sweetie Belle turned to face her.

“At this point, I think it's safe to say whatever the reason for your current state, it’s beyond my understanding, or that of any robotic expert. Your body isn’t just some amazingly advanced machine. It’s something that is currently not possible to create. I’d never thought I’d say this, but I’m starting to believe that Pinkie’s right: this is probably the result of time travel, extraterrestrial intelligence, or something equally extraordinary,” concluded Twilight.

Sweetie Belle sighed and reluctantly nodded in agreement. Of course, the fact that she was a full-fledged robot in the first place had suggested this was the case from the beginning, but Twilight declaring as much just seemed to make it more real.

“I don’t think there’s much point to continuing this exam. Even if we ignore the AAT, it’s clear we won’t be getting our answers from my books,” admitted Twilight.

“Wait, there’s still one thing we can try,” suggested Apple Bloom.

“Yeah. Maybe Twilight can get some answers out of Sweetie Bot,” said Scootaloo.

“Sweetie Bot?” asked Rarity with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh! That’s a really good nickname for it, Scootaloo! So punny! Wish I’d thought of that,” said Pinkie Pie.

“I suppose you're referring to when Sweetie Belle activates her… computation systems, I believe you called them?” asked Twilight.

“Yeah. Maybe Sweetie Bot knows something about what her AAT is made of, if it even is AAT,” suggested Scootaloo.

“Well, I don’t think it’ll hurt to try. Are you up for it, Sweetie Belle?” asked Twilight.

Sweetie Belle sighed, but nodded.

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea, but could you let me out first? I’m getting kind of hungry,” she asked.

“Yeah, a snack break sounds good right about now,” added Spike.

“I agree,” said Twilight as she released Sweetie Belle's’ restraints.

A little later, everyone made their way back down to the basement. A quick mental nudge later, and Sweetie Belle’s world was once again nothing but 1’s and 0’s.

“ALL SYSTEMS ONLINE. SWEETIE BOT READY FOR INPUT,” declared Sweetie Belle.

“Oh my…” gasped Rarity.

It wasn’t the first time she had seen this, though she still found it quite jarring.

“Let’s not waste any time. Sweetie Belle, please identify artificial arcanic tissue,” said Twilight.

“SEARCHING…” declared Sweetie Belle.

As usual, when her mind reached into that abyss of hidden knowledge Sweetie Belle tried to remember what she “saw.” It wasn’t easy. Things passed her by so quickly that she rarely got more that a small glance. Active RAM again, sodium levels, and many many other things flew in and out of her mind without telling her anything.

This time, however, one nugget of information caught her eye: night vision disabled.

I have night vision? she thought, as the knowledge flew away from her. It was certainly something to look into later.

Finally, the search stopped. There was only one result, thank Celestia.

“ARTIFICIAL ARCANIC TISSUE: A SYNTHETIC COMPOUND DESIGNED TO REPLICATE THE MANA ABSORPTION PROPERTIES OF ARCANIC TISSUE, ALSO KNOWN AS AAT, MOST NOTED FOR ITS USE IN M.P.S. DEVELOPMENT.” declared Sweetie Belle.

“There’s that MPS thing again. Seriously, what the hay is it?” asked Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle decided not to search it again. She didn’t want to be stuck in the library’s basement reciting over a hundred possible definitions.

Twilight, meanwhile, just sighed.

“Well, that confirms it: we definitely have some form of AAT on our hooves. I’ll have to report this to the princess, though I doubt she’ll have me do anything drastic. Still, just saying it’s a synthetic compound isn’t very specific. I don’t suppose you know what the compound consists of?” she asked.

Sweetie Belle tried to search for it, but surprisingly nothing came up.

“NEGATIVE,” she stated.

“That’s odd. If Sweetie Bot has access to some kind of personal library of information, why wouldn’t its own composition be included?” mumbled Twilight.

“Yeah, every comic book I’ve read says they should,” added Spike.

“Maybe so, but it’s probably for the best, you know. If the secrets of AAT could be readily taken from Sweetie Belle, I suspect more than a few unscrupulous sorts would try to take it from her through brute force should it become public knowledge,” commented Rarity.

“And if Sweetie Bot’s from the future, wouldn’t it be cheating to know how to make something that hasn’t been invented yet?” asked Pinkie.

“Besides, that would be way too easy. When has anything this big ever been easy?” added Scootaloo.

“Well, regardless, I think it’s a mystery we’ll have to save for another day. The point of this exam was to see if Sweetie Belle is working properly and learn what we could while doing it. Since we’re dealing with so many uncertainties, I doubt we’ll be able to determine if anything is wrong anyway. Sorry I couldn’t get you the answers you wanted, Sweetie Belle,” admitted Twilight.

“UNIT SWEETIE BOT DEEMS APOLOGY UNNECESSARY. SUFFICIENT EFFORT WAS MADE TO DETERMINE ORIGIN,” said Sweetie Belle.

But there was that other thing that came up, that night vision thing. Hm… if it’s deactivated, can I activate it? she thought.

“ADDENDUM: PREVIOUS INQUIRY REVEALED POTENTIAL ADVANCEMENT. ATTEMPTING TO INITIALIZE,” declared Sweetie Belle.

“Potential what now?” asked Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle reached back into her mind again.

OK, I know how to turn my “computation systems” on and off. Maybe this night vision thing works the same way? I don't feel a switch for it, though. Hm… maybe I can turn it on with my thoughts or something? Go! … Do the thing I’m thinking of! … Uh, activate night vision? thought Sweetie Belle.

“ACTIVATING NIGHT VISION,” declared Sweetie Belle.

Wait, really? That’s how I do it? thought Sweetie Belle before her number vision changed.

Suddenly, the numbers were telling her that she could see what was in every corner of the shadowy basement. She could see everything as if it were lit up. She really had night vision!

“Woah… Uh, Sweetie Belle? Are ya OK? Your eyes are glowin’,” said Apple Bloom.

“Night vision without spellcraft? This is amazing! She really does have utilities built in!” exclaimed Twilight.

“You really do have superpowers, Sweetie Belle! This is so cool!” exclaimed Spike.

“AFFIRMATIVE. EXCITEMENT LEVELS AT 33%,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah! What other neat things can you do?” asked Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle was about to run a search when it happened again. The pain returned.

“WARNING: UNIT SWEETIE BOT’S M.P.S. SUFFERING COMPATIBILITY REJECTION. RECOMMEND IMMEDIATE DEACTIVATION OF COMPUTATION SYSTEMS,” she announced.

“This again? Already? I’m pretty sure this happened sooner than last time,” noted Scootaloo.

“Maybe the night vision thing makes it harder?” suggested Apple Bloom.

“At any rate, you’d best turn ‘Sweetie Bot’ off, Sweetie Belle,” said Rarity.

Sweetie Belle reached back and flipped the switch again. When her vision returned, however, she noticed that everything around her seemed to be unusually bright and various shades of green.

“Uh… your eyes are still all glowy. Guess you don’t need Sweetie Bot to use your night vision,” noted Pinkie.

Oh. Guess that explains that, thought Sweetie Belle.

Interestingly enough, however, Sweetie Belle could now feel another switch in the back of her mind. Somehow, she knew that it was for her newly discovered night vision.

“Whew, what a day,” mumbled Sweetie Belle as she flopped onto her bed.

After shutting off Sweetie Bot everypony had agreed that they’d had enough science for today. Twilight said she would analyze the samples she’d collected and see if anything in her books remotely related to Sweetie Belle’s condition, but Sweetie Belle wasn’t holding her breath.

Her friends had suggested she try and find out what other cool powers she had, but right now she just wanted to sleep.

“So, what did I learn today? I am literally something out of this world or time, have something inside me that can’t exist, and have super powers even though I don’t know what they are. Yippee,” she mumbled to herself.

Sweetie Belle’s vision turned towards her mirror again, but Pinkie’s words came back to her.

If I can’t laugh at myself now, how will I be able to when I finally know the truth? Thought Sweetie Belle.

“Well, at least now I know for a fact that I’m going to change the world one day! Ha ha! … That was terrible. Never was very good at jokes,” she said to herself.

She sighed and turned back towards the mirror. Several minutes passed as Sweetie Belle once more reflected on her situation. At last, she made up her mind.

“I can’t pretend I’m not scared of you. Scared of what you might be. But you know what? I’m not giving up, and I’m not letting you bring me down. So what if you managed to avoid me today? I've got a few leads to follow now, and I’m not going to let myself get depressed about it all. I’ll find out the truth about you sooner or later,” she declared.

Her mind now much calmer, Sweetie closed her eyes and slowly drifted to sleep.

We shall see.

Sweetie Belle woke up with a shriek.

Author's Note

Man, I'm on a roll here!

I just hope this came off more as "interesting development" and less as "boring info dump."

Also, how about my magic theory head-cannon? I'd like to hear how interesting/stupid you thought it was.

Chapter 7: Lich-Ghoulie

“What the hay is going on?!” Sweetie Belle cried as she paced back and forth.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo shared uncertain looks. Sweetie Belle had come running up to the clubhouse that morning saying she’d heard some kind of weird voice in her head last night. It wasn’t that they didn’t believe her, it was just she’d arrived half an hour ago and still had yet to provide details.

“Uh, Sweetie Belle?” asked Scootaloo.

“What?!” exclaimed Sweetie Belle.

“If you keep pacing like that you’re gonna wear a hole in the floor,” said Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle looked down. She’d been dragging her hooves and was grinding away the floorboards.

“Oh. Sorry,” she said with a blush.

Apple Bloom shook her head.

“Alright, why don’t ya just calm down a bit and tell us exactly what ya heard,” said Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle sighed.

“It was just one line: ‘We shall see.’ At first I thought maybe it was Sweetie Bot developing a mind of it’s own or something, but then I realized that the voice didn’t sound machine-like at all. In fact, it sounded like a stallion’s voice. I… I think I’m being watched, or something,” she explained.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo shared another uncertain look.

“Did you recognize the voice at all?” asked Scootaloo.

“That’s just it. I don’t think I’ve ever heard that voice before in my life, but there’s something familiar about. You know, deja vu?” said Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom sighed.

“Just sayin’ it’s a stallion’s voice that sounds familiar doesn’t help us much, Sweetie Belle. Look, hearin’ voices in your head isn’t somethin’ we can ignore, but do we have any other clues as to what this means?” she asked.

“No, and that’s just the problem. I feel like it’s just on the tip of my tongue, but I really have no idea,” admitted Sweetie Belle with another sigh.

“Well then, unless we wanna go ‘round askin’ every stallion in Equestria to say that phrase, Ah doubt this will help us find any answers. Don’t get me wrong. Ah think this is really important, but right now it’s just another piece of the puzzle. We need more pieces before we can fit this one in with the rest,” deducted Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle rubbed her hoof on the floor.

“Yeah, you’re right. I mean, after everything we learned yesterday, I guess this isn’t that crazy. I just hope whoever said it isn’t going take control of me or something. We never considered that I might have a built in remote control, or something as scary as that,” she mumbled.

Yeah, that does sound kind of scary. Ah don’t wanna think about what would have happened if those everfree ghouls had some kind of way to control me. At least, Ah don’t think they have a way to control me, thought Apple Bloom as dread began to creep into her.

Sweetie Belle let out another sigh.

“You know what? We spent all day yesterday trying to learn why I’m a robot and got more questions than answers, and this new development isn’t helping either. At this point I just want a day to kick back and not think about it for a bit,” said Sweetie Belle.

“You sure about that Sweetie Belle? I mean, we could just see what other neat things you can do instead of trying to figure it all out,” said Scootaloo.

“I’m sure,” said Sweetie Belle with a frustrated look.

Apple Bloom kind of wanted to see what other neat things Sweetie Belle could do too, but decided it would be best not to push it.

“Alright then. Anypony have any non-robot ideas for today?” asked Apple Bloom.

Before anyone could answer, there was a knock on the door.

“Apple Bloom? You and the girls in here?” called Applejack.

“Yeah, sis. What’s going on?” asked Apple Bloom.

Applejack walked in with Pinkie Pie bouncing along behind her.

“Hi everypony! Ready for another exciting day of learning?!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie.

The CMC raised their eyebrows.

“Uh, Pinkie? What are you talking about? Twilight said she’d need a while to look over everything from yesterday,” said Scootaloo.

“Oh, this day of learning isn’t about Sweetie Belle, silly filly! It’s about Apple Bloom!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie.

“Wait, what?” asked Apple Bloom with a raised eyebrow.

“Well… AfewdaysagoIsentaletterto…” Pinkie’s very fast explanation was cut off as Applejack put a hoof to her mouth.

“Pinkie here sent a letter to some old friends of hers that know a thing or two about bein’ undead, askin’ them to come visit so they could talk to ya. They arrived this mornin’. Since Big Mac’s takin’ care of the farm for us, we’re goin’ to spend the day with them,” clarified Applejack.

“Wait, really?” asked Apple Bloom as excitement and nervousness began to rush into her.

“Yep! We just need to make our way to the far side of Sweet Apple Acres to meet them!” exclaimed Pinkie.

“Uh, by ‘know a thing or two about being undead,’ you don’t mean they are undead, do you?” Scootaloo asked nervously.

“Oh they are! But they’re not ghouls, so there’s no way they’re those nasty meany-pants your family’s been fighting with, Scootaloo,” reassured Pinkie.

Scootaloo’s expression only became more horrified.

“But… but if they're not ghouls, and they can talk, then that must mean they’re…” she stammered out.

“Yep! They’re liches!” declared Pinkie with a smile.

Scootaloo looked at Applejack, silently begging her to say it was a joke.

“Nope. She’s dead serious. Or undead, Ah guess,” said Applejack with a shrug.

Scootaloo’s jaw dropped. Sweetie Belle outright fainted. Apple Bloom looked around in confusion.

“Uh… what’s a lich?” asked Apple Bloom.

Everypony turned toward Apple Bloom in disbelief. Well, except Sweetie Belle since she was out cold.

“Apple Bloom, they’re one of the three kind of undead! How the hay can you not know?! Did you do any research about being a ghoul at all?!” exclaimed Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom rubbed the back of her neck nervously.

“Ah did! It’s just Ah only read about ghouls. Ah didn’t think Ah’d have to worry about other kinds of undead,” she mumbled.

Applejack sighed. Scootaloo shook her head.

“Ugh, forget it. Pinkie Pie, why in Tartarus are you friends with liches?! Do you have any bucking idea how dangerous they are?! And you want us to just walk over and talk to them?! What the *yay* is wrong with you?!” exclaimed Scootaloo.

Applejack scowled at Scootaloo’s word choice, and Pinkie Pie got a very serious look on her face.

“I know I can a bit loopy at times, but I’m not stupid. Of course I’m not going to have you three talk with somepony that dangerous. I enjoy having a planet to live on too, you know. My friends are only liches by technicality,” Pinkie said in a very sharp tone.

Everypony, except Sweetie Belle, stared opened eyed at Pinkie.

Scootaloo blinked before letting out a relieved sigh.

“Oh... you must mean Bear Bone and Kamikazi. OK, yeah. They should be able to help Apple Bloom. Sorry I yelled at you, Pinkie,” she admitted.

Pinkie’s serious face vanished at a speed Rainbow Dash would be jealous of.

“It’s OK. Everypony else says more less the same thing when I tell them. It’s why I worked on my ‘ I’m serious now,’ face,” said Pinkie.

“Bear Bone and Kamikazi?” asked Apple Bloom. Those names didn’t sound very friendly and were making her kind of nervous.

“Yeah. My hive’s heard about them. They’re a pair of traveling liches that got a pardon from the Princesses because of how they were cursed. I don’t know the details, but apparently they never cast any dark magic themselves but still ended up liches somehow,” explained Scootaloo.

Huh. Well, if they’re friendly undead then they probably know a lot about ghouls. Maybe they can tell me a thing or two, thought Apple Bloom.

“By the way, where did you learn to be such a potty mouth, Scootaloo?” asked Pinkie.

Scootaloo blushed.

“It’s not just words. When you’re part of a hivemind, you tend pick up on… adult things when you’re really young,” she explained.

“So, what exactly is a lich? Ya said somethin’ about three kinds of undead, right?” asked Apple Bloom as they made their way across the farm.

“Yeah: zombies, which are just corpses being animated with dark magic; ghouls, which are souls bound to their corpses by dark magic; and liches, which are powerful but evil magic users who keep themselves alive with dark magic,” explained Scootaloo.

“It’s a bit more complicated than that, Scootaloo,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah, but nopony wants to hear the full version,” said Scootaloo.

“Ah do,” deadpanned Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo sighed.

“Fine. You can explain, Miss Dictionary,” she said to Sweetie Belle.

“Well, in short what makes liches so dangerous is not only that they wield incredibly powerful dark magic, it’s almost impossible to stop them. Liches have what’s called a phylactery, which is the source of their magic. If you can’t find their phylactery, you can’t do anything to harm a lich, not even draining their magic” explained Sweetie Belle.

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” commented Apple Bloom.

“Yeah, except the only way to make a phylactery is by performing a forbidden spell that needs a sacrifice of at least ten souls to cast,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Oh,” was all Apple Bloom said.

“Yeah, oh. Because of this, liches are all kinds of illegal. Anypony who’d be willing to cast something like that is almost certainly evil,” said Scootaloo.

“Most of them, anyway. There are a few exceptions, like the royal dark magic specialist in Canterlot and my friends,” added Pinkie.

Apple Bloom turned toward Pinkie with a raised eyebrow.

“OK, first: how do you know that? Second: why the hay do we have a royal dark magic specialist? And third: how did you make friends with a pair of liches anyway?” she asked.

“I heard it from a friend, I have no idea, and why don’t you ask them yourself?” said Pinkie as she pointed her hoof ahead.

Apple Bloom turned to see two ponies standing at the edge of Sweet Apple Acres. It was immediately apparent that they were undead, as they had several holes across their bodies, revealing bone at a few locations. She could also feel some sort of dark power emanating from them. They had to be Bear Bone and Kamikazi.

Bear Bone was a large brown earth pony stallion, almost as big as Apple Bloom’s brother. His patchy black mane, ragged coat, and sharp tooth cutie mark made him seem rather bear-like. But he had a friendly smile on his face, and when Apple Bloom look into his eyes she saw that there was a gentleness in them that suggested he was far nicer than he appeared.

Kamikazi was the opposite. The red coated pegasus mare had a fairly small frame, a bright yellow mane, and cutie mark of a cheerful-looking explosion. At a glance, she seemed like a natural party pony. Her eyes, however, had the glimmer of a pony itching to cause mischief. Her expression was one Apple Bloom saw all too often on Rainbow Dash when she was planning her next prank.

Apple Bloom felt her nerves go on edge again.

“Hi guys! It’s so good to see you!” said Pinkie as she hopped over and gave her undead friends a hug.

“Glad to see you too, Pinkie,” said Bear Bone, his voice deep and cheerful.

“Yeah, though could you let go? Just because we don’t need to breathe doesn’t mean we like having our lungs crushed,” said Kamizaki in a grating tone.

“Oh, sorry! Everypony, these are Bear Bone and Kamikazi. I’ve been friends with them ever since I was a little filly on my rock farm!” said Pinkie as she let go of her old friends.

“I liked you better back then. You didn't talk as much,” said Kamikazi with a smirk.

“Kazi,” chided Bear Bone with an eyeroll.

Pinkie Pie just giggled.

“Oh Kazi, you’re always so funny! Anyways, I’d like you to meet my other friends. There’s Applejack, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom,” said Pinkie, pointing to everypony as she said their names.

“A pleasure to meet you all. I hope you don’t mind us creeping onto your property like this, Miss Applejack. We didn’t want to make a scene by walking into town,” said Bear Bone, offering his hoof.

“Nah, it’s fine. We’re alway happy to have guests here on the farm. Besides, since y’all are here to help mah sister, Ah think it’s only fair we’d do things your way,” said Applejack as she accepted the hoofshake.

“Ah, so the you're the ghoul we came all this way to talk with then,” said Kamikazi as she walked over to Apple Bloom.

“Uh... yeah, Ah am,” said Apple Bloom nervously.

Kamikazi put a hoof to her mouth and tilted her head.

“Hm… yep. That’s a class G undead curse right there. A really powerful one at that. Looks like it’s been sealed up good and proper too,” she noted.

“Wait, you could tell Ah was a ghoul and that mah curse was sealed at a glance?” asked Apple Bloom in surprise.

“Yep. One of the perks of being a lich. We have a way with undead things even if we’ve never read a book on black magic in our lives. Course, we did take the time to read up after we were cursed, but my point stands,” explained Kamikazi.

Guess they really do know a thing or two about Ghouls. What did she mean by a class G, though? thought Apple Bloom as she started to relax a bit.

“Well, nice to know we’re workin’ with professionals,” said Applejack.

“Oh, we’re hardly professionals. We’re just two awesome adventurers who happened to obtain almighty dark powers,” said Kamikazi with a smirk.

Apple Bloom was starting to suspect that Kamikazi never took anything seriously.

She was also starting to like her.

A little later, all of them were gathered around a picnic table to have a small lunch. Applejack had insisted on treating their guests before talking about Apple Bloom, and maybe getting to know them a little better.

“Apple family cooking certainly lives up to it’s reputation. It’s been awhile since I tasted something this delicious,” said Bear Bone as he bit into an apple fritter.

“Yeu. Almosh ash gool as fa shamblef eggs bag home. Almosh,” said Kamikazi through a mouthful of apple pie.

“Kamizaki grew up on a poultry farm. When she compares food to eggs, it’s her way of giving a compliment,” explained Bear Bone.

“Huh. Guess her cutie mark story is a lot like Pinkie’s then. Grew up on a farm, but found her calling elsewhere,” noted Sweetie Belle.

Kamikazi swallowed.

“Yeah, but I didn’t need no rainbow in the sky to find my talent. I made my own big boom. I was born to be a master of chemistry,” said Kamikazi.

“You’re a chemist?” asked Applejack in surprise.

“Yep. This pretty thing on my backside? I got it while mixing up a nice little chemical reaction,” said Kamizaki with a sneer.

“So you make explosions then?” asked Scootaloo with an excited look.

“Yep. Mostly bombs, in fact: fire bombs, ice bombs, bombs that work like wind-up toys, and lots more. I once even made an egg bomb. I called it the scrambler,” said Kamikazi with confident smirk.

“It’s also how she earned her name. Her parents named her Egg Yolk, but her habit of using excessive firepower tends to leave quite the impression, usually in walls,” stage-whispered Bear Bone.

“You’re darn right I earned it! I never cared much for the peaceful life,” said Kamikazi with nod.

Scootaloo had stars in her eyes. Applejack looked less than thrilled to learn about this, and slowly edged away from Kamikazi.

“As for me, I got my cutie mark while exploring the woods near my home. I’ve alway had a knack for spotting things, and collected everything from acorns to caterpillars. What cemented it for me was when I started a small collection of bear teeth. It got me my cutie mark, and an idea of what I wanted to do with my life,” said Bear Bone.

“Yeah, the Bear family’s in the honey business. Too bad the bees never liked Bonehead here very much. He was more than happy to have an excuse to leave home,” said Kamikazi.

“Very true. At first, I figured my eye for detail would be best suited for archaeology, but I never really had the head for numbers that career requires. So instead I decided to become an treasure hunter. I crossed paths with Kazi, who had left home in search of some excitement, and the two of us have been working together ever since,” said Bear Bone.

“Yep. Between my wits and Bear’s brawn we became quite the team. Oh, the adventures we’ve gone through: exploring new lands, picking up tons of golden goodies, doing incredibly difficult favors and getting valuable paper scraps as rewards… yeah, those were the days. We even saved the world once or twice,” said Kamikazi with reminiscent smile.

“It’s also how we meet Pinkie Pie. We stumbled onto her farm one day while following a treasure map, and the Pie family insisted we stay for the evening. We ended up back in the area again fairly often on adventures, so we always stopped by when we had the chance,” said Bear Bone.

“Yep! And their epic stories were what convinced me to head out and spread parties all across Equestria! Well, until I found Ponyville and liked it so much I decided to stay, but you know how it is,” added Pinkie.

“So you two are a lot like Daring Doo, then? I mean, I knew you were liches but I never realized you were awesome adventurers too,” said an excited Scootaloo.

Kamikazi scoffed.

“Oh please. That wannabe? We were exploring ancient tombs before she was even out of diapers. The only reason she’s more famous than us is because she decided to publish her own adventures. If we’d come up with that idea first…” grumbled Kamikazi.

Bear Bone rolled his eyes.

“We’ve been over this, Kazi. Letting somepony else take the spotlight makes it harder for ponies to find out we’re liches. Just because the crown’s given us a free pass doesn’t mean most ponies are going to give us the benefit of a doubt,” he chided.

Kamikazi sighed.

“I know, I know. Stupid curse…” she mumbled.

“Uh, how did you become liches, if you don’t mind telling us?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“We don’t mind at all. It actually a really interesting story,” said Bear Bone.

“Yeah, and also not for squirts. Let’s just say it was very messy, especially when that crazy witch doctor got involved. Trust me, you don’t want to know the details,” said Kamikazi with a wave of her hoof.

Bear Bone rolled his eyes.

“I agree we shouldn't say everything, but I think we can just skip over the gorier parts,” said Bear Bone.

“Yeah, if you want to also skip over the fun parts, and I’ve had enough of boring story time. Look, short version: we were exploring an evil witch’s tomb, found something really evil, blew it up, and ended up cursed into liches as a result,” said Kamikazi.

“Well, we can at least say a little more than that, Kazi. I’ll add that it involved an evil machine that used pony souls to keep somepony alive forever. When we destroyed it, all the dark magic and trapped souls were released in an unstable state. Next thing we knew, we were both liches, full of incredibly powerful dark magic, and a pair of phylacteries were on the ground next to us,” said Bear Bone.

“Turns out that the dark magic designed to grant eternal youth was a perfect match for an eternal life spell. Who’d have guessed?” snarked Kamikazi.

“Afterwards, we turned ourselves in. There’s no way to hide dark magic like that, and we figured we’d face the end as dignified ponies instead of being hunted down. To our surprise though, Princess Celestia declared that since we didn’t actually cast any illegal spells and actually destroyed some dangerous dark magic, we would be cleared of all charges and free to go as long as we left our phylacteries with the authorities.”

“Not skin off our backs, really. The stupid things were hideous anyway. But undead or not, we’re still the best, if not the most famous, adventures in Equestria and beyond. Though having our bones visible can get annoying at times,” said Kamikazi with an eyeroll.

Apple Bloom paused to think about what they had just said.

Ah’m impressed. They don’t let being undead stop them at all. They just kept right on goin’ as if nothin’ had happened. Ah wonder if Ah can grow up to be like that? Thought Apple Bloom.

“Huh. That’s pretty interesting,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah, you guys are really cool!” cheered Scootaloo.

Pinkie nodded with a smile.

Applejack also nodded, though she was still leaning away from Kamikazi.

“Anyways, that’s enough about us. Care to tell us why you’re also one of the undead, flower girl?” Kamikazi asked Apple Bloom.

“I see… Sunnytown. We’ve been hearing rumors about a place like that for awhile now. I take it the Princesses told you that it’ll likely be a long time until it reappears, right?” asked Kamikazi.

Apple Bloom nodded.

“Yeah, that place sounds like bad news. You’ve very lucky to have gotten away, Apple Bloom. I also think we should have a word with Miss Sparkle when have the chance. I’m very impressed by her spellcraft. This is not a easy curse to seal,” said Bear Bone.

Apple Bloom didn’t feel particularly lucky for having stumbled upon the town in the first place, but kept it to herself.

“Anyway, your condition is what’s known as a class G. If that doesn’t mean squat to you then congratulations: you have not been reading books on dark magic. What it does mean for you, however, is that your body is not only being held together by dark magic, it can actually be regenerated by it,” said Kamikazi.

“Well, to a limited extent. There’s only so much the magic can do against decay without proper training, and teaching you the finer aspects of dark magic would be a violation of our parole, so to speak. But as you get older and your magic develops, you should start looking like your old self and your body will hold together better without the need of your bow, but again there is a limit to this,” explained Bear Bone.

“But for now, if you end up permanently losing a leg or something, it’ll grow back in a few days,” finished Kamikazi.

“Huh. That’s useful to know. Not that Ah was plannin’ on losin’ a leg or anythin’, but still,” said Apple Bloom.

“Yes, and there’s also a few neat tricks you can do,” said Kamizaki.

Apple Bloom tilted her head.

“Tricks?” she asked.

“Yeah. Being undead does have it’s upsides, such as cool zombie powers. Like this…” said Kamikazi before she torn off her own head.

Applejack jumped in surprise. Scootaloo turned away, her face green. Everypony else just shrugged. They’d seen it coming.

“Alas, poor me. I knew her well. May she be long remembered for her wits, explosions, and smoking hot body,” said Kamikazi as she held her head high.

“Kazi…” said Bear Bone with a roll of his eyes.

Apple Bloom giggled. If nothing else, Kamikazi was good at taking things in stride.

With a chuckle, Kamikazi slammed her head back on.

“Anyway, I bet you already know that trick if you're half as fragile as you look. I’m also willing to bet you’ve been using the second trick without realizing it. You noticed the dark magic we’re both carrying around like a bad smell, right?” asked Kamikazi.

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, but you’re liches. It’s kinda expected, right?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Expected, yes. Easy to spot without proper understanding, no. Dark auras like ours are hard to detect without knowing what to look for or casting a spell to find them. The ability to spot dark magic isn’t limited to liches and forms of necromancy. You can sense all forms of dark magic, Apple Bloom,” explained Bear Bone.

“Yeah. It it wasn’t for the patches in their flesh, I’d never have guessed they were liches,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Same here. I can’t see any dark aura,” added Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom blinked.

So… Ah can see dark magic? That’s kind of cool, thought Ah hope Ah never really need to use it, thought Apple Bloom.

“Yep. So if anypony you know turns evil, you’ll be able to spot it before they try to take over the world,” said Kamikazi with a smirk.

She was met with a few giggles and a few eyerolls.

“Anyway, there’s also one more trick you can do that’s exclusive to class G’s,” said Bear Bone.

“Realy? What?” asked Apple Bloom.

Bear Bone opened his mouth speak, but Kamikazi put a hoof up to stop him.

“Oh no, we done nothing but sit around and talk all day. We’re adventurers, not babysitters. If she wants to learn it, she’s getting off her little flanks and learning the adventurer way: getting her hooves dirty,” announced Kamikazi.

Bear Bone thought about it for a moment, then sighed.

“Alright. Experience is the best teacher, after all. Would you mind taking your bow off, Apple Bloom?” asked Bear Bone.

Apple Bloom gulped, but took her bow off and trotted up to the liches. She wasn’t used to being exposed like this out in the open. The calls of encouragement from her friends and family helped though, as did Bear Bone’s reassuring smile.

“Alright, I know Kamikazi wants you to learn this the direct way, but I think we should explain it a little bit before you start. Do you remember how the ghouls from the town approached you?” asked Bear Bone.

Apple Bloom shivered. She hated having to remember details about that night.

“Yeah. They sort of crawled out of the ground,” said Apple Bloom.

“So, if they came out of the ground, how did they get down there in the first place?” asked Bear Bone.

Apple Bloom put a hoof to her mouth in thought.

“Well, Ah want to say it was because they were buried after they died, but that doesn’t make any sense. Ah mean, if they were undead they probably wouldn’t just lay there in the dirt all confused for years and years, so… Ah guess they buried themselves or somethin’,” she deducted.

“Exactly. But there’s more to it than just digging. Kamikazi?” said Bear Bone as he turned toward his friend.

Kamikazi walked up to Apple Bloom and put a hoof on her head.

“Now don’t panic, this is perfectly natural in a twisted undead way. Also, don’t hold your breath, kid. It’ll help with the claustrophobia,” said Kamikazi before she started pushing down on Apple Bloom.

Apple Bloom felt some strange, yet familiar, energy build up inside her. And then Apple Bloom started sinking into the ground.

“Whoa nelly!” cried Applejack.

Apple Bloom didn’t even get a chance to gasp before her head slipped beneath the soil.

As her vision turned black, however, the rest of Apple Bloom’s senses exploded. Her hearing grew sharper, her skin could feel and identify every grain of dirt around here, and she suddenly became aware of several auras, not just dark ones, all around her.

Woah… is this what Sweetie Belle feels when she goes full Sweetie Bot? No wonder she keeps getting’ overwhelmed!” though Apple Bloom. Her head was swimming just by standing still!

“Knock knock,” said Kamikazi as she stomped a hoof on the ground.

Apple Bloom heard her perfectly. She could also feel the force of Kamikazi’s stomping resound through the earth and could tell from her aura that she was standing just in front of her on the surface.

“Apple Bloom? Are you OK?” asked Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom could feel Scootaloo as she walked towards where she had sunk. She could also pinpoint exactly where Scootaloo was through her new aura sense, which covered Scootaloo in a bright green light.

“Hold on now, Scootaloo. Apple Bloom, can you try moving toward your friend?” asked Bear Bone.

Ah can move like this?! Thought Apple Bloom in disbelief.

Feeling a little foolish, Apple Bloom tried to move. To her surprise, she did. The motions were wild and jerky, but she actually slipped right through the dirt as if it were water!

She moved right under Scootaloo, and could actually feel the weight of her friend pressing down around her.

She also had a moment of inspiration.

She reached out with her hoof, felt it rise out of the ground, and grabbed Scootaloo's leg.

“AH!!” screamed Scootaloo as she jumped away.

Everypony else starting laughing.

“He he, good one Apple Bloom!” called Pinkie.

Apple Bloom pushed her head up and gave an apologetic grin to Scootaloo.

“Sorry Scoots. Ah couldn’t resist,” she said with a chuckle.

Scootaloo gave a huff, and turned away.

“I’ll get you back for that, Apple Bloom,” she mumbled.

Still chuckling, Apple Bloom pulled the rest of her body out of the earth. It was amazing how the dirt seemed to switch between fluid and solid as she climbed. Once out, there was no indication on the ground that she’d just risen out of it. Even the grass seemed unaffected.

“As you can see, class G ghouls’ magic manifests in interesting ways. As an earth pony, you’ve gained the ability to move through the ground. Though keep in mind that using this ability for too long can be very taxing on your senses, Apple Bloom,” explained Bear Bone.

“And as you just learned, it can be really useful for pulling pranks. Or slipping behind somepony who needs good bucking, if that’s more of your thing,” said Kamikazi with a smirk.

Apple Bloom took a deep breath and tried to come to terms with this.

So that energy Ah felt while I was sinkin’ was mah earth pony magic? Wow… Between this, Sweetie Bot, and Scootaloo’s changeling powers, it almost like we’re a trio of super heroes! thought Apple Bloom as her self-worth skyrocketed.

After teaching Apple Bloom how to earth-dive, as it was called, the rest of the afternoon was fairly uneventful. Bear Bone and Kamikazi had several other small pointers for Apple Bloom, such as tips on the dangers of overexposure to salt, the proper way to use soap, the importance of a well-balanced diet, and so on. Still, they agreed that after six months Apple Bloom already understood all the important parts of being a ghoul, so there wasn't’ too much more for them to teach her.

They also were happy to share more stories about their less horrifying adventures, and Scootaloo ended up declaring Kamikazi the second most awesome pony in Equestria. Applejack, however, made the CMC Pinkie Promise never to try recreating some of their crazy activities. Apple Bloom had to agree with her sister. As cool as it was to hear about, she really didn’t want to try outwitting an ancient puzzle spirit herself. She was never any good at jigsaws.

Finally, as the sun started setting, the lich duo were ready to head out.

“Thanks for having us. It was very nice to meet you,” said Bear Bone.

“Yeah. The trip was worth it for the food if nothing else,” said Kamikazi with a smirk.

Everypony except Applejack and Bear Bone giggled. It was hard not to find the snarky pegasus entertaining.

“Anyway, feel free to send us a letter if you need anything. It might take awhile for us to arrive if we’re in the middle of something, but we will take the time to come visit,” said Bear Bone.

“Thank ya kindly. Though Ah hope ya ain’t plannin’ on bringin’ any of your… tools, with ya when ya do,” said Applejack.

Kamikazi rolled her eyes.

“You know, part of being good with explosives is knowing how not mess up with them, right?” she snarked.

Applejack sighed, but didn’t comment.

“It was so, so, so good to see you guys again! You have to stop by again some time so I can give you a proper welcome to Ponyville party!” exclaimed Pinkie.

“We’ll hold you to that Pinkie. We always look forward to your parties,” said Bear Bone with a smile.

“Welp, we off then. You wanna swing by that Twilight Sparkles’ place on our way out?” asked Kamikazi as the two of them turned to leave.

“I think it’d be rude to bother her unannounced. We’ll send her a letter in the mail saying we’re coming and stop by on the way home. Now… I believe we should be heading south?” said Bear Bone.

“Nah, southeast,” answered Kamikazi.

Bear Bone sighed as the two of them started walking.

“Kazi, we were planning to avoid the Everfree…” mumbled Bear Bone.

“Plans can change. Come on, we’ve sleepwalked through places more dangerous than this,” said Kamikazi.

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean we have to look for trouble. We’ll have plenty of excitement once we reach the badlands,” argued Bear Bone.

“Yeah, but if we take the long way somepony might beat us to the loot! Remember that time with that stupid canary?” asked Kamikazi.

“Oh, not this again…” groaned Bear Bone.

“We had to use a bucking toy mouse! Our hooves were practically bleeding by the time we were done! And we could have avoided it if we’d just…” cried Kamikazi.

Their voices faded as they walked away.

“Ya got some interestin’ friends, Pinkie,” said Applejack.

“Yep, but I think they managed to see past everypony's’ craziness and have a good time,” said Pinkie Pie as she hopped away.

Applejack sighed and gently put a hoof to her head.

“Ah swear, Pinkie, one of these days,” she mumbled as she turned and headed off herself.

Apple Bloom turned to face her friends.

“Ah don’t know about y’all, but Ah think Ah learned a lot today. Ah actually feel a lot better about mahself now,” she announced.

“Well, at least you learned more about yourself than I did, Apple Bloom,” said Sweetie Belle with a sad smile.

Apple Bloom shook her head.

“Don’t be like that, Sweetie Belle. We’ll figure Sweetie Bot out someday too, Ah promise,” she said.

Sweetie Belle sighed, but nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, but it’ll have to wait. We’re going to be busy tomorrow,” said Scootaloo with a sigh of her own.

“Why’s that, Scootaloo?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Because I just got a message from my mom. Everything is ready. We can head out and visit the hive first thing in the morning,” admitted Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle cheered.

Scootaloo just shook her head.

Tomorrow was going to be a looooooong day.

Author's Note

Bear Bone and Kamikazi aren't exactly OC's. They're ponifications of characters from a long dead franchise, though I made up most of their backstories myself. I brought them back from the dead because I needed a pair of adventuring one-time OC's, and because holy crap do I miss these guys. :(

I left a ton of clues as to who they are, including the chapter title, but I'll still give a cookie to whoever got the reference.

Hm... Maybe I should write a spin off with these two at some point. It'd certainty justify how much description I put into their characters...

Chapter 7.5: Later that Evening...

“Kazi…” grumbled Bear Bone through his hooves.

“Hey, I never said it was going to be easy, just that we’ve dealt with worse. And do you honestly think this thing’s a real threat?” replied Kamikazi.

“No, but I still think this is a sign that we should have gone the long way,” said Bear Bone as he looked at their opponent: a talking tree.

“Mwahahaha! Bow before the mighty LOG!” cried the tree.

“What is it with all the weird trees we run into anyway? I mean, first there was that orange tree with a monkey twice as big as it was, then that one that was next to an oasis but was somehow dying of thirst, then it was the giant tree big enough to hold a wonderbolt show inside,” complained Kamikazi.

“All shall know of my awesome might and cower in fear!” cried the tree.

“I don’t know, Kazi. And really, you can’t stay mad at the one from the oasis. It really wasn’t its fault. Trees don’t exactly have brains, you know,” said Bear Bone.

“Well, that probably explains this guy, at least,” said Kamikazi with a smirk.

“Hey! Stop ignoring the mighty LOG!” cried the tree.

Bear Bone and Kamikazi sighed.

“Right, sorry. So, Mr. Log, what exactly are you planning to do with us?” asked Bear Bone.

“I am the mighty LOG, not Log! For too long you stupid ponies have been slaying my brethren! For this, you shall pay!” cried the tree.

“Uh huh, sure. It not like we grow more of you as well or anything. But tell us, how exactly are we going to pay?” asked Kamikazi with an eye roll.

“I shall raise a mighty army of trees, and we shall march on to conquer your nations for ourselves!” cried the tree.

Bear Bone and Kamikazi shared an awkward look.

“Er… Mr. Log? How exactly do trees march?” asked Bear Bone as politely as he could manage.

“Again, I am LOG! And it is simple! You two pitiful ponies shall craft mighty vessels for us to traverse the lands that are rightfully ours!” cried the tree.

“And how exactly are we supposed to build anything in the middle of the Everfree forest?” asked Kamikazi.

“With wood, of course!” cried the tree.

Bear Bone and Kamikazi facehooved.

“Ok, this thing is now officially in the top ten dumbest creatures we’ve ever run into,” groaned Kamikazi.

“Mr. Log, I for one am all for a (*cough* non-violent *cough*) pro-environmental movement, but doesn’t your plan basically call for more of what you’re trying to stop?” asked Bear Bone.

“How many times must I tell you, I am LOG! And sacrifices must be made in the pursuit of justice!” cried the tree.

Bear Bone shook his head.

“Alright, I tried. It’s clear that there’s no way to reason with this tree, but I’m not sure if we should destroy it or not. We should probably stop it from causing trouble, but this is just really sad,” said Bear Bone said with a sigh.

“It’s saying it’s going to conquer Equestria, destroying it would probably be a mercy kill more than anything, and most importantly of all, it’s annoying me. I’m blowing it up,” announced Kamikazi as she tossed out a fire bomb.

BOOM!

“Ahhhh! Curse you ponies! My brethren shall avenge me!!” cried the tree as it burned.

“Bark no! It’s about time someone shut you up, Log!” called a voice from nearby.

“I... am... LOG!!!!” cried the tree before it burned away to ash.

There were several cheers from nearby trees.

“Thank you, kind travelers for removing that utter waste of soil! Here, take this golden acorn as a reward,” one of them declared.

Bear Bone and Kamikazi looked around in disbelief, then at their newest piece of treasure, and then towards each other.

“Take the acorn, move on, and forget this ever happened?” suggested Bear Bone.

“Nah, I’m definitely putting this one in the adventure log. Why would we want to forget the time we managed to help nature by burning down a tree?” said Kamikazi with a smirk.

Author's Note

This is just a cute little plot bunny that bit me the other day, so I decided to share it. If any more show up, I'll have to write a proper spin-off.

Well, that and I realize this story's been a bit exposition heavy lately. I promise after the hive visit we'll get back to the slice of life stuff.

Chapter 8: Going to Buggyland

Cloudsdale, like most cloud cities, is known to move across Equestria as needed for things such as major season changes or water collection. However, because of how difficult it is to deliver mail and point tourists to a constantly moving city, all cloud cities have a designated “resting point” where it will remain unless it has reason to move, with a small permanent outpost remaining on ground level to direct any travelers to where the city has gone.

This apparently had something to do with why the entrance of Scootaloo’s hive was only a few meters away from the Cloudsdale outpost. Apparently, the first queen of the hive insisted to her deathbed that she hadn’t realized the small clearing she’d chose to build her hive in was the resting point for a cloud city until they'd already dug it out.

Not that many changelings bought it. Most had come to believe that she was probably just reckless enough to build her hive right outside a major city. There wasn’t a changeling alive who thought this was a good place for a hive. Even the Manehattan hive, reckless fools its changelings were, was a half mile out of its city.

There wasn’t a pony alive who thought it was a good idea, either.

“So, because the entrance to your hive is so close to the outpost, you’ve had to make sure that it was a changeling stationed here ever since you built your home?” asked Sweetie Belle with a raised eyebrow.

The three of them were standing in front of said outpost. Cloudsdale was near Plowsberg for more water collection, hence why this was the perfect time for them to visit.

“Yes, though it’s not as difficult as it sounds. The job has to be done by a Cloudsdale citizen, and no pegasus wants to just sit in one place on the ground and tell anyone who stopped by which way Cloudsdale went. It’s a boring, low paying, thankless job, so it’s really easy to get one of our own into the position,” explained Scootaloo.

“Yeah, and the fact that no one ever visits the outpost when the city’s in place means we don’t get a lot of traffic down here most of the time anyway,” said the disguised changeling at the outpost desk.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle shared a uncertain look and shrugged.

“Well, whatever. Y’all been doin’ this for thousands of years, so Ah guess we should just accept that it works and move on,” said Apple Bloom.

“Yeah, you’re the experts here, not us,” added Sweetie Belle.

“Sounds good. Well, I won’t keep you here any longer. Hope you two have a pleasant visit. And don’t let me hear about you messing things up, Scootaloo,” said the changeling with a bemused smirk.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes.

“Oh don’t worry, Uncle Pepper. I won’t. It’s everypony else inside I’m worried about,” said Scootaloo.

Uncle Pepper chuckled. Scootaloo ignored him and lead her friends toward the entrance.

Alright, we’re coming down. Hope everypony is ready, thought Scootaloo.

There were many responses. Not all of them were good.

Horseapples! I’m still putting on my make-up! came the voice of Goose.

The clover isn’t done yet! added Butter.

Why hasn’t somepony cleaned up this mess?! exclaimed Poppy

Everypony calm down! called out Scootaloo’s mother.

The hivemind went silent, relatively speaking.

We’re not undergoing an inspection here. It’s just two curious fillies who want to learn more about us. I might not get back to the hive until tonight, but there’s still no reason to panic. Goose, I must once again remind you that you don’t have to wear make-up. Butter, it’s ten in the morning. Nopony is eating anything for awhile. Poppy, that’s not…

Scootaloo toned out her mother’s instructions to her siblings. She already knew what her role was. As the friend of their guests for the day, she was to be their tour guide. The job itself didn’t bother her. The fact that she would have to introduce her siblings to her friends did. Especially when she had to introduce Twitch.

The hive entrance was unassuming by design. It looked more like a small cave than the entrance to an underground civilization, though Scootaloo’s experienced eyes spotted the symbol on the ridge that marked it as a changeling hive. Scootaloo dropped her disguise, and turned toward her friends.

“Alright, our hive is built as a large number of open caverns known as chambers connected by a network of tunnels between them. When we reach the end of this tunnel, we’ll arrive at the entrance chamber. we have a tour plan all ready for you, and I’ll explain things as we go, but if you have any questions, I promise I’ll answer them as best I can, OK?” said Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle nodded.

“Alright then, in we go,” said Scootaloo as she lead her friends down into her home.

As they descended, the air began to get damp, though not musky. It was more like how the air is when it’s raining than the humidity inside of a cavern. In fact, a sweet scent was beginning to surface. The cave was also well lit, not just from the torches or glowing plants, but from several holes in the roof that let in sunlight. It wasn’t long before they turned a corner to reveal the real entrance. Unremarkable rock gave away to carved stone that opened up to a great chamber. The sight made Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle gasp in awe.

“Welcome to the Cloudsdale Changeling Hive, girls,” announced Scootaloo.

The chamber was easily three times as large as Ponyville’s town hall, but not as open as one would think. It was full of large stone platforms, making it less of a giant cave and more like a large building with no walls. The sweet smell was now very apparent, and the lighting had gone from a few holes in the roof to a large one that had a series of mirrors beneath it. The mirrors reflected the sunlight in a way that made the whole chamber just as bright as it was outside.

But perhaps most awe-inspiring of all were the changelings themselves. While their coats were too shiny to be hair, they looked a lot like normal ponies as they went about their business. The air was full of the familiar buzz of numerous conversations, though it was joined by the hum of countless insect wings beating around them.

To an outsider it all seemed very chaotic, but Scootaloo recognized the signs that everything had been cleaned up and prepared for their guests.

Looks like we’re making quite the impression, noted one of Scootaloo’s siblings.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were looking around in wonder.

Yeah. So far so good, replied Scootaloo.

“Wow…” mumbled Apple Bloom.

“What is all this?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah, it might look kind of confusing, but it’s actually pretty straightforward. Just think of each platform as a separate building. See, that one with the fierce looking changelings is the guard platform, and that one over there with all the paperwork is the administration platform,” explained Scootaloo.

“And this is just the entrance? Just how big is this place?” asked Sweetie Belle as she tried to take it all in.

“Well, we do have a pretty decent number of changelings living down here, so the hive’s almost as big as a small city. Not that I know the actually scale or anything. It’s kind of hard to guess with how many tunnels we have going around, ” answered Scootaloo.

“Ah don’t supposed ya have a map, or somethin’, then?” asked Apple Bloom with a nervous look on her face.

“No, but I am going to be leading you guys every step of the way, so as long as we stick together, you shouldn’t get lost,” reassured Scootaloo.

“So, uh… where do we go from here? I get the feeling this place wasn’t designed for ponies without wings,” said Sweetie Belle as she nervously glanced down. The nearest platform was a bit far to jump.

“It wasn’t really, but we have a few full grown changelings who’ll be helping you two get around. By the way, we’re actually working on installing an elevator system for the royal visit. We’re just having some problems with...” Scootaloo paused as there was a loud snap from above them.

“Look out below!” someone called out.

A moment later a small wooden platform with a rope attached fell down past them before smashing onto the ground below. Several changelings stopped to look, before glaring up at whoever was above them.

“Son of a… Beetle! What hay did you do to the elevator?” Scootaloo called out loudly.

“Sorry Scoots! The rope got stuck, and when I tried to pull it loose the whole thing came off!” said a turquoise changeling colt as he flew down to meet them.

Scootaloo sighed and turned toward her friends.

“Well girls, I guess it's time to introduce you to one of my siblings. This is Beetle, the youngest of our clutch. He’s known for his skill with a hammer, and for being the third clumsiest changeling in the hive,” said Scootaloo.

“Yeah, well you're the second worst flyer in the hive!” countered Beetle.

“Only when I’m disguised!” objected Scootaloo.

Yeah! Besides, it’s not fair picking the chicken, added another of Scootaloo’s siblings.

This only made her angrier.

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom sighed as they watched the siblings argue.

“This might take awhile,” mumbled Sweetie Belle.

The changeling hive, as Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle quickly realized, was built more for practicality than beauty. Most of the walls of the hive, while stone craft instead of natural rock, were simple and plain with the occasional decorative splash of changeling wax. Everything was certainly large and impressive, but most of the chambers and tunnels looked the same. Not that they were getting bored though, as there was plenty of interesting things to see and learn about.

For example, as they made their way down a tunnel, Scootaloo explained that while only chambers close to the surface were fully lit by natural sunlight from the magically disguised holes, the mirrors at the top of these chambers also reflected light down every connecting tunnel. In order to keep this light shining down to deeper chambers, changelings avoided flying through the middle of the tunnels so that there would always been a large beam of light that ran straight to these lower chambers, where additional mirrors made them just as well lit as the higher ones while also sending light down to even lower chambers.

“Just because we live underground doesn’t mean we enjoy living without sunlight. We went to great lengths to get it down as far as we could, though there are limits. The deeper we go, the more we have to depend on lanterns and other sources of light,” explained Scootaloo.

“Ah get ya. It ain’t natural to go days on end without seein’ the sun, after all,” said Apple Bloom.

Because the tunnels’ centers had to remain clear for the sunlight, Changelings instead only moved across the surfaces of these tunnels. This included the walls and ceilings as changelings could move along them with ease. This also resulted in surprisingly straight-forward traffic laws: if you’re going deeper, you’re on the floor; if you’re going higher, you’re on the roof. With so many changelings using these tunnels on a regular basis, it was crucial that nopony slowed down the line, though there were numerous routes to any given chamber in the event of a blockage.

“It might not seem too crowded right now, but that's’ just because we were expecting you guys. Everypony wanted to make sure you’d be able to get around freely during the tour,” clarified Scootaloo.

“The whole place seems a bit complicated. Are you sure it's rare for changelings to get lost?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“It is kind of complicated, but it's not too hard to get the hang of. I bet if you stayed down for a week or so you’d be able to get around no problem,” said Scootaloo.

Most standard chambers had platform structures similar to the entrance. There were store platforms, business platforms, platforms designated for soldiers, and countless others. Sweetie Belle even spotted what looked like a garbage disposal platform as they passed it. Though it was apparent that certain features of a functioning economy were left to designated chamber for one reason or another, such as medical service and housing.

Oh, and there were bathrooms, too. They were basically mini chambers, and could be found everywhere.

Yes, they had plumbing.

“This is a medical chamber. It’s basically the changeling equivalent of a hospital. We have several of these spread all around the hive, making sure no changeling is more than three chambers away from medical assistance if there’s an emergency,” explained Scootaloo.

“Yeah, it does have a hospital feel to it,” commented Sweetie Belle as she looked around the white-tiled chamber.

The medical chamber was flatter and wider than the other chambers, but it was apparent why, as this meant that nopony had to be flown up to a platform if they needed medical treatment.

They paused to watch as a nearby changeling nurse rubbed some kind of green fluid on an injured changeling’s leg.

“Uh, that’s not the same slime the changelings at the wedding used, is it?” asked Apple Bloom.

“It’s wax, Apple Bloom, not slime. Yes, it can be used to trap ponies and spin cocoons, but it’s also makes an effective bandage. That guy won’t be getting an infection with that thing on,” exclaimed Scootaloo.

“But isn’t wax made with bug sweat?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo shrugged.

“Well, changeling sweat, so it’s an effective bandage for changelings at least,” she admitted.

And really, honey is flower guts mixed with bee spit, but nopony complains about that, commented Beetle.

“Uh… no offence Scootaloo, but ew. Just ew,” said Sweetie Belle.

“None taken. We are part insect after all, so it’s not like we can help acting like it at times,” said a nearby purple changeling filly in a nurse’s outfit.

“Right. Girls, this is another one of my siblings: Poppy. She’s a bit absent minded at times, but she’s proving to be one of the fastest learning medical apprentices we’ve had in years,” introduced Scootaloo.

“Thank you for your kind words, Scootaloo. You alway know how to make me feel important,” said Poppy with a roll of her eyes.

“Nice to meet you, Poppy. So you’re learning to be a doctor, then?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah, it’s sort of a tradition for at least one changeling of each clutch to become a medic. Someone needs to make sure my siblings don’t kill themselves doing something stupid after all,” said Poppy.

“How many siblin’s do ya have, anyway?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Counting me and Poppy, sixteen. Five of them don’t live in the hive, but we’ll probably run into most of the others as we go,” said Scootaloo with a sigh.

“Yeah. Promise me you won’t beat up Twitch, though. I have plans this evening, and I don’t want to have to put up with him stuck in one of our beds again,” said Poppy.

The tour continued without incident, unless you count every time they ran into one of Scootaloo's siblings.

First, they ran into Bubbles. Bubbles was a friendly changeling who was always humming some song or other. She even tried to entertain them all with a song and dance number that was well done, but also so girly even Sweetie Belle thought it was too much. Her friendliness didn’t stop her from teasing Scootaloo about her dancing skills, either.

Next they meet Goose on a spa platform. Goose was the second oldest of the clutch, and was learning how to be a fashion model. She was pleasant and cheerful, though she did accidentally spill a bowl of some kind of herb by waving her hoof for dramatic flair. She also forgot who they were twelve seconds after they left her. Scootaloo insisted this was a good thing.

They caught Lynx running past them. She was the most athletic of the clutch, and was always making little challenges for herself to see just how fast she was. Right then she was trying to break her record for “time to reach medical chamber G from the throne room.” Scootaloo assured them that that was one of the more reasonable records she kept. She only provided one other example: “Time from drinking a glass of lemonade to finishing in the bathroom.”

Dust was next at a construction zone, where several changelings were working to fix a large crack in the tunnel wall. Dust wasn’t there as one of the workers or anything, she was just watching her long-time crush move around heavy objects with ease. Apparently she was a painter, but everypony who saw her work said it was best not to ask. Not because they were bad, but because they tended to be a bit repetitive in what they were depicting.

Later, they walked right past Quilt, and Scootaloo didn’t point her out until she’d turned a corner because she was almost as shy as, well, Fluttershy. She was the loner of the clutch, always minding her own business with her nose in a book or working on some project or another. She was apparently very good with a needle and thread, though. They even saw some of her work being displayed in a few chambers.

Finally, they ran into Twitch near one of the underground farms. Twitch, well, he was one of those kinds of individuals whose favorite thing to do was insulting others. They managed to avoid beating him up, but only because Apple Bloom got to spend twenty minutes yelling at him for insulting her bow, her accent, and, well, pretty much everything except her earth pony heritage. Twitch didn’t discriminate. He insulted everypony equally.

They were certainly an interesting bunch, but in the end Apple and Sweetie Belle came to agree that Scootaloo’s siblings were just like anypony else: each had their own unique talents, quirks, and instinctive desire to get on their siblings' nerves whenever possible.

Well, except for Twitch. He just liked getting on everyone’s nerves.

“... and that tunnel leads to the nursery, but it’s the one place I’m not supposed to show you,” said Scootaloo as she pointed toward said tunnel.

“Why not? I know we aren’t exactly skilled babysitters, but I think we can avoid hurting any baby changelings,” said Sweetie Belle.

“It’s not the babies we’re worried about. You know how the magic of babies is really unstable? Well, for changeling babies it’s worse. Not only do they cast spells willy-nilly and fly all over the place, they instinctively suck any and all love that comes near them. We actually have to keep guards by the entrance to make sure none of them escape and find our love reserves. Now, can you imagine what would happen if somepony full of love walked into a crowd of baby changelings?” asked Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle shivered.

“Yeah, exactly. It might takes weeks of draining for an adult changling to suck somepony dry, but over a dozen babies changelings, you wouldn’t last more than a few hours. So yes, we’re skipping the nursery,” explained Scootaloo.

“Agreed,” said Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.

Nicely handled sis, though I wouldn’t have minded the distraction down here, called another sibling.

I don’t want to hear it, Dove. You knew what you were getting into when you decided to become a nanny, chided Scootaloo.

Well, duh. I just wanted to meet your friends. They must be pretty special to want to still spend time with you after how many brilliant ideas for cutie marks you’ve suggested, said Dove.

Scootaloo decided not to dignify that with a response.

They stopped for lunch next on a diner platform. The place seemed a bit crowded, but they didn’t have to wait for their food since Scootaloo’s brother Butter had volunteered to cook for them.

“I hope you’ll like this. I don’t have a lot of experience cooking for non-changelings, but I think I did a good job,” said the yellow changeling as he levitated over their plates.

“It’s smells delicious! Is this roasted alfalfa?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah, mixed with seasoned clover and a few lily petals. Please enjoy!” said Butter as he backed away with a bow.

The Crusaders quickly dug in.

“Mmm… your brother is a great chef, Scootaloo,” commented Apple Bloom.

“Yeah, he is. He also has no concept of a regular sleep schedule. If I had a bit for every time he woke the rest of us up way too early...” mumbled Scootaloo as she bit down.

It’s not my fault! I cook best when I follow my muse! Butter objected privately.

Yeah, well your muse sucks at getting a good night sleep, chided Lynx.

Scootaloo toned them out.

“Ah. Well, it can’t be that bad if ya get to wake up to food this good every mornin’,” said Apple Bloom.

“I don’t. I live in Ponyville, remember? Just because I can hear him announcing breakfast doesn’t mean it’s for me,” replied Scootaloo.

“Oh. Yeah, that sounds like it could get on your nerves. How do you put up with that whole hivemind thing, anyway? It must be really annoying the be hearing so many voices all at once,” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well, first of all I can tone it out when I want. Second, I've had it my whole life, so I’m used to it. Third, I can only really hear my clutch and my mother. The rest of the hive sounds a bit fuzzy to me until I’m older, and by then I’ll have learned how to only hear those I want to listen to, and any important announcements from the higher ups,” explained Scootaloo.

They ate in silence for a bit, until Apple Bloom noticed a bright yellow crystal on Scootaloo's plate.

“Wait, is that gem what Ah think it is?” asked Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo followed her gaze and nodded.

“Yep. That’s solid crystallized love,” said Scootaloo.

“Really?” asked Sweetie Belle as she glanced over to look.

“Yeah. We can carry a lot of love in our bodies, but it’s not very convenient to have to keep passing it between changelings everytime we eat. So instead we crystalize it, store it, and then pass it out,” explained Scootaloo

“I didn’t know love could be crystallized,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah, well, changeling magic doesn’t always makes sense, but it works,” said Scootaloo with a shrug.

“Er… Ah don’t suppose non-changelings could eat some, could we?” asked Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo actually giggled.

“Oh, we don’t eat the crystals. We just turn them back into energy and absorb them. And yeah, you can try some. We have plenty in reserve, after all. Here, hold on a second,” said Scootaloo as she lit up her horn.

A moment later, the love crystal seemed to turn into pure light, before it split into three pieces, two small and one large. Scootaloo took the large piece, and sent the other two to her friends.

Scootaloo knew what they felt as smiles appeared on their faces. To a changeling, absorbing love was like eating a warm and filling meal. For non-changelings, it was just a small energy boost, but one that felt like you were on the receiving end of a caring hug.

“Wow, that felt really nice,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah. And ya feel that everytime ya eat?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Well, it’s less powerful for us since we need to use the stuff, but pretty much,” said Scootaloo.

“Aw, sharing your lunch with your friends? You’re so darn cute, Scootaloo,” said a red changeling colt as he slid up next to them.

Scootaloo groaned, telling the other crusaders that this was another one of her brothers.

“Anyway, nice to meet you. I’m Uno, Scootaloo’s oldest brother. I’m also the coolest changeling in our clutch, so you can rest assured that I’m the best thing you’ll see today,” said Uno.

“If by coolest you mean ‘the one with the biggest head,’ then yeah, sure,” said Scootaloo.

“Uno? You’re named after a card game?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Uno chucked at that.

“Nah, the word ‘uno’ means one in another language. I got the name because I was the oldest,” explained Uno.

“Ah figured, but it’s not very often somepony is named in another language. Did your mom travel a lot or somethin’?” asked Apple Bloom.

Uno winced. Scootaloo winced. All of their siblings, even the ones not at the hive, winced. They’d promised to answer any questions, and that meant they had to spill the beans. Uno and Scootaloo turned toward each other. In a rare moment of family unity, they silently agreed on what had to be done: it was Uno’s fault for bringing it up, so he would have to come clean.

“Well, uh… it’s a nickname, actually. My real name is One. Not ‘One Note,’ or something like that, just One. The twenty-eighth One in the family, actually,” admitted Uno.

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom looked at him in disbelief.

“You see, while we love our mother dearly, she sucks at coming up with names for her kids. Like, really, really sucks. Not even one of us is happy with our birth name. As such, we’ve all adopted the policy of addressing each other only by our nicknames, and never telling anypony else our real names. Ever,” explained Uno.

“Then Scootaloo is...” said Sweetie Belle as she pointed a hoof towards her friend.

“Yeah, Scootaloo is a nickname. And I will go to my grave without telling anypony what my real name is. Yes, that means you two as well. I’m sorry, but no. Just no. I trust and love you guys, but still no,” said Scootaloo with a shake of her head.

Uno nodded in agreement. Siblings may argue and drive each other crazy, but there are some lines they simply never cross. For these changelings, sharing each other’s birth names was one of them. As much as Uno loved seeing his sister squirm, he would not let her suffer the horror of her friends knowing her name.

Seriously; nopony deserved to be known, in any shape, way, or form, as Schmoopy Coopie Toopa Loopy.

The tour resumed and it remained uneventful, though they saw some very interesting things.

The changeling library, for example, was full of books that Sweetie Belle had never seen before. Apparently, while changelings were willing to share their stories with other races, any books that hinted at their existence were kept out of the public eye. They even agreed to let Sweetie Belle take a few home as long as she was careful to hide them.

There was a public bath in the hive, though it was used as a swimming pool these days since the invention of indoor plumbing let every changeling in the hive get their own bathtub. Apple Bloom had been hoping to go for a swim, but unfortunately the pool was closed for cleaning that day. Apparently Twitch had done something disgusting in there again. Scootaloo only said that it didn’t involve a candy bar.

They even caught a glimpse into one of the love storage chambers, and Sweetie Belle silently promised to make sure her sister never learned about the heaps and heaps of crystallized love the hive had. They clearly had plenty to go around, but it was still a worrying thought.

They eventually found themselves poking around the housing chamber that all of Scootaloo’s siblings lived in. Housing chambers had actual walls installed, so there was some degree of privacy. Scootaloo showed them the now mostly empty platform she’d used while she still lived at the hive, as well as Bubble’s rather sizable plush collection.

“So, why did you chose to move to Ponyville anyway? This place seems homely enough,” asked Sweetie Belle as she looked at a cute little plush shark.

“Partially because I wanted to get as far from Twitch as possible, but also because it’s just something changelings do. Most of us stay at the hive, but some of us head out and see the world instead. There just isn’t enough room down here for all of us, and we do want to stay connected to pony society, so every clutch has changelings that are taken care of by infiltrators outside the hive instead of our mothers,” explained Scootaloo.

“Which is why you and five of your siblin’s don’t live here. Ah see. So those changelings who go around as your parents aren’t actually your parents?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Yeah, they’re my aunt and uncle. And while they’re the ones raising me, I’ve always been closer to my mom. All changelings are, really,” said Scootaloo with a shrug.

Speak for yourself, turkey hips, said Twitch.

He was promptly booed out of the hivemind.

At last, they reached the final step of the tour.

“...and this is the throne room. We were hoping to let you two meet our queen, but she had head out for another queen council meeting that was announced only this morning. Sorry about that,” said Scootaloo.

“It’s OK. I’m sure we’ll get the chance to meet her later,” said Sweetie Belle as she looked around.

The throne room was certainly impressive and, as it was located close the surface, well lit with sunlight. It wasn’t as lavish or large as Princess Celestia’s throne room, but it was still awe inspiring with brilliant colors and beautiful changeling sculptures. There were also numerous changeling portraits that lined the walls.

“So, these were your older queens, right?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Yeah, starting with queen Pupa the first over there. A royal changeling can live for a century or two, but they’re far from immortal,” explained Scootaloo.

“Yes, though such longevity does have it’s share of ups and downs,” said a calm and regal voice.

Everypony turned around to see what looked like a changeling Princess. The changeling’s coat was baby blue with green highlights, making her seem to outright glow. Her wings were large and sparkled in the sunlight. She was tall, though not as tall as Celestia or Luna, and held herself high with a regal confidence. And yet, her eyes shined with the gentle kindness of a loving mother.

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom thought she looked beautiful. Scootaloo had only one word to describe her.

“Mom?! Why didn’t you tell me you were already back at the hive? You said you wouldn’t get here until this evening!” exclaimed Scootaloo.

“I managed to catch an early train. I figured I’d surprise you, my little firefly,” said Scootaloo’s mom.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle giggled at the pet name. Scootaloo sighed. She had hoped she’d be able to avoid this. Now there was nothing stopping her mother from teasing her non-stop in front of her friends.

May the all-mother have mercy on my soul, thought Scootaloo.

“Alright, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, this is my mom: Blue Monarch. Mom, these are my friends, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle,” she said.

“It’s really nice to meet you, your Highness,” said Sweetie Belle with a bow.

“Yeah. Guess that meeting went really fast then, huh?” said Apple Bloom.

“Meeting?” asked Blue Monarch with a confused look.

“Well, ya had to go to that queen meetin’ thing, right?” asked Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo tilted her head.

“When did I ever say my mom was the queen?” asked Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle blinked in surprise. Blue Monarch just giggled.

“Oh? You never told them how royal changelings work? My, my, how very careless of you, Scootaloo. Well, to answer your question, no, I am not the queen. I am a changeling princess. The queen's duties are many, and quite demanding. She cannot rule her hive effectively and also be there to provide the care and love her children need. As such, it falls to the princesses, such as myself and my sisters, to birth and raise the citizens of our hive. Well, except for other royals, of course,” explained Blue Monarch.

“Yeah. I mean, could you imagine if Princess Celestia and Luna had to raise over a thousand kids while ruling Equestria?” added Scootaloo.

“Enough! Your bedtimes... shall last... FOREVER!”

“Point taken,” said Sweetie Belle with a nod.

“So, how many Princesses are there, anyway?” asked Apple Bloom.

“It varies from hive to hive, though the average is three. We have three ourselves, for example, but the Manehatten hive has four and the Trottingham hive has two. There are a total of seven hives in Equestria, so that’s a total of about twenty-eight royal changelings,” explained Blue Monarch.

It was an interesting development, but it also brought a rather troubling thought forward as well.

“So… where does queen Chrysalis fit into all this? Does she have princesses that could try to avenge her?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Blue Monarch sighed.

“Despite what she claimed, Chrysalis really isn’t a queen. She was a princess from the Las Pegasus hive who began to have delusions about ruling Equestria and embracing our corrupted nature. I’m not aware of the details, but apparently her attitude eventually led to her making a right spectacle of herself before abandoning her home.”

“Changeling queens aren’t crowned willy nilly. When a queen is nearing the end of her life, she’ll announce one of her princesses as her successor when she dies. The new queen’s siblings will remain princesses unless a significant majority of the hive demands one of them be crowned queen instead. That said, a princess can set off and make her own hive, but only with the approval of all active Queens. We have to be careful not to let our population grow too large, or we risk being detected.”

“Even if Chrysalis became the queen of her own hive, it was a hive created without authorization, making Chrysalis a queen only by technicality and a wanted criminal. We’d been trying to locate her for years before she launched her invasion plan, but for all her faults Chrysalis knows how to avoid detection. It was little more than dumb luck we caught wind of what she was planning and were able to warn Princess Celestia of the upcoming invasion,” explained Blue Monarch.

“So you guys were the reason Celestia had that shield raised,” said Sweetie Belle with a nod.

“What happened to her anyway? Ya mentioned somethin’ about a trial, right?” asked Apple Bloom.

“We finally have her in custody, and every changeling in her hive has been administered into medical treatment. Keeping a changeling’s body in such a state for so long can have severe long-term consequences. Not to mention Chrysalis didn’t bother moderating her royal jelly intake, meaning a large number of her changelings are partially royal changelings, making their bodies even more unstable. Chrysalis has a lot to answer for,” said Blue Monarch with a shake of her head.

“So she’ll be found guilty for sure then, right?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Blue Monarch looked a little nervous.

“Well… she’s definitely not going free, but the trial hasn’t been going a well as it could. Now, I’m not saying she’s going to be found innocent or anything, even her lawyer has admitted that she must be punished for her actions, but it's a real possibility she’ll be cleared on an insanity plea,” admitted Blue Monarch.

“What?!” exclaimed Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.

“Well, she did break every single changeling law aside from injecting our venom. She also tried to invade Canterlot, despite that fact that even if she’d won all the other hives would have immediately charged in to stop her. To be honest, all signs suggest she really has completely lost it. But don’t worry, even if that’s the case, she’ll still have her power removed and her hive distributed among the rest of us. The only real difference is that she’ll be spending the rest of her days in an asylum instead of a prison. She’s not making a return, I promise you,” reassured Blue Monarch.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle breathed sighs of relief.

“Alright, that’s enough about changeling politics. By the way, Sweetie Belle, I’ve spent the last week visiting other hives. We were hoping that one of them might of learned something about your condition, but nothing came up. That said, every changeling in Equestria is now keeping an eye out for any clues about fully functioning robots. We’ll be sure to let you know if we find anything,” announced Blue Monarch.

Sweetie Belle gave a gasp.

“Really? I… Thank you! I mean, it’s not very likely there’s anything to find, but, just the thought that there are so many ponies out there helping me is... Wow. Really, thank you,” Sweetie Belle stuttered out with a smile on her face.

“It’s no problem, dear. And really, it gives us all something else to look for now that Chrysalis has been captured. Now then, how about I show you two some of Scootaloo’s baby pictures?” suggested Blue Monarch with a smile.

“Mom!” cried Scootaloo in horror.

And so the hive visit came to an end, with the only real casualty being Scootaloo’s pride.

“Welp, that was fun. And quite insightful,” said Apple Bloom with a giggle.

“I can’t believe she showed you two the noodle incident. Not even Twitch teases me about the noodle incident!” groaned Scootaloo as she and her friends made their way back toward Ponyville.

“But you were so cute, all covered in sauce,” said Sweetie Belle with a smirk.

It’s true, Scoots. You were so pwechus and cwute, added Dove.

Scootaloo grumbled, but didn’t reply.

“Still, we’ve been pretty busy this past week. I don’t know about you girls, but I think I’ve done enough learning for a while,” said Sweetie Belle.

“You sure about that? We still haven’t seen what other neat tricks Sweetie Bot can do,” pointed out Apple Bloom.

“Well, aside from that, I guess. I mean, I love learning new things, but I think we should take a break and get back to having fun for a while,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah! We've gone almost five days without a good crusade!” remembered Apple Bloom.

“But we’re not the Cutie Mark Crusaders anymore, remember?” reminded Scootaloo.

“We are until we come up with a better name,” objected Apple Bloom.

“Not this again,” moaned Sweetie Belle.

And so the three fillies made their way back home after a long week of learning and embarrassment. Some answers had been discovered, though some mysteries still remained. What was next for these young hearts in the days to come?

I don’t know, but you’re not going to be narrating it, mom. That would get annoying very quickly, said Uno.

Hush, Uno. You’re ruining the moment! chided Blue Monarch.

You kind of ruined it first, mom, added Lynx.

Yeah! You always ruin everything, mom! said Twitch.

SHUT UP, TWITCH! yelled everypony else.

Author's Note

Darn season finale. I've spent months coming up with ways to make the changeling hive interesting and now it's hopelessly inaccurate...

Eh, whatever. This story was AU from the start anyway. And someone gave me some cookies for predicting the... I think they're called "changedlings?" So yeah, no big deal.

And don't worry, You don't have to try and remember who the siblings are. Most of them are just throw-away jokes so I have names to throw around in the hivemind peanut gallery instead of just "Scootaloo's siblings."

Chapter 9: Life's a Sweet Song with Sour Notes

The CMC had enjoyed a nice, quiet week. Or as quiet as it was possible for the three of them. The only thing remotely exciting was a camping trip to Rainbow Falls that passed without incident. Well, and the time they almost burned down the barn again, but that wasn’t anything new.

Come next Monday however, Sweetie Belle's friends’ curiosity could be contained no longer. They had to know. They had to get answers to the questions that had been burning within them for so long.

Unfortunately, they were quickly disappointed.

“OK, how about… laser eyes?” suggested Scootaloo.

“Scootaloo, changin’ the words around ain’t gonna make it work. Let’s just accept that Sweetie Bot can’t shoot lasers and leave it at that,” said Apple Bloom with a shake of her head.

“UNIT SWEETIE BOT AGREES WITH UNIT APPLE BLOOM,” announced Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo groaned.

“Are you really a robot, Sweetie Belle? You have no laser vision, no rockets, and not even a built in shock thingy. What kind of robot doesn’t have a shock thingy?” she complained.

“UNIT SWEETIE BOT HAS NOT BEEN OUTFITTED WITH TASER ACCESSORY. PLEASE CONSULT LOCAL A.P.P. SPECIALIST FOR MORE INFORMATION,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Oh, sure. We’ll just travel through space, or time, or whatever the hay you came from and ask a specialist. Yeah, that’s fantastic advice,” grumbled Scootaloo.

“Ya don’t have to get snappy about it,” chided Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo took a deep breath and calmed herself down.

“Yeah, you're right. I shouldn’t get mad at her for something that isn’t her fault. Sorry, Sweetie Belle,” said Scootaloo.

And that’s when the pain kicked in again.

“WARNING: UNIT SWEETIE BOT’S M.P.S. SUFFERING COMPATIBILITY REJECTION. RECOMMEND IMMEDIATE DEACTIVATION OF COMPUTATION SYSTEMS,” announced Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom sighed.

“Ah well, we weren’t making any progress anyway. Shut it down, Sweetie,” said Scootaloo.

A quick flick of the mental switch, and Sweetie Belle was back to normal.

“Ugh… huh. Hey, the headache isn't as bad this time,” she noted.

“And I think you lasted longer too. Maybe it was just the night vision that made it hurt sooner last time,” said Scootaloo as she got up and stretched.

“Well, either way, Ah think we’re done here. Got a lot to do today, so Ah’ll see y’all this afternoon,” said Apple Bloom as she filed away their notes.

“Yeah. Have a good day you two,” said Sweetie Belle as she watched her friends head out for their Monday chores.

I hope the smaller headaches is a good sign, not a bad one, thought Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle sighed as she laid on her bed.

“Why is it always so difficult? I want to know more about myself, but every time we try I just want to stop and run away. Am I really that scared of what I might learn?” she mumbled to herself.

Sweetie Belle rolled over, once again turning toward the mirror, before shaking her head.

“Come on, Sweetie Belle. You promised that you wouldn’t get caught up on your reflection again. Seeing more of your metal body isn’t going to give you any answers,” she chided.

She turned back towards the ceiling.

“Remember what Pinkie said. The only way I’m going to feel better is if I can look at my situation and smile about it. Look on the bright side, and all that stuff. I mean, if I don’t have built in lasers, that means I can’t be some kind of alien weapon, right?” she asked herself.

You don’t have to be a weapon to be dangerous. Just look at your cooking skills, said a small part of her mind.

Oh, shut up me, thought Sweetie Belle as she forced herself upright.

“Well, whatever. It’s Monday, and it’s a nice and sunny outside. I’m going reading,” she declared.

Sweetie Belle hummed a happy tune as she made her way toward her favorite reading tree. She’d just stopped by the library for a new book, and was eager to see what the big fuss about this popular series was.

“The title doesn't tell me much. Is it a story about who can go the longest without food or…” Sweetie Belle’s stopped in her tracks as she noticed a very unwelcome sight.

Murphy Law was once again under her tree.

“Nope. I’m not putting up with him again. Crashing through a building once was one time too many. I’ll just find somewhere else to read,” decided Sweetie Belle.

“A very wise decision,” came a calm voice.

Sweetie Belle turned to see Octavia sanding nearby, with a rather sour expression on her face.

“Oh, hello Octavia. Uh… you’re not still upset about the wall, are you?” Sweetie Belle asked nervously.

Octavia blinked in surprise.

“No, it’s not you. Sorry, I’ve just been stewing over something for a while now. I suppose my expression must have seemed quite hostile,” she said with a shake of her head.

Sweetie Belle let out a sigh of relief.

“Well, that’s good. No, wait, that’s bad. Uh… I mean, good luck with whatever’s troubling you?” said Sweetie Belle hesitantly.

Octavia gave a soft giggle.

“Oh, I understand. And thank you,” she said as she turned to leave, but then turned back towards Sweetie Belle.

“Although, now that I think about it, perhaps you can help us. We did invite you to visit us whenever you needed, so would you be willing to join us for a cup of tea? I suspect sharing my roommate and I’s woes might help clear our heads,” suggested Octavia.

“Really? I mean, I’m just a filly. What can I do to help?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“I’m just hoping to let it off my chest. I think you’re more than capable of helping me with that,” reassured Octavia.

Sweetie Belle thought for a moment. On the one hoof, this sounded like something personal that she shouldn’t get involved in, even if Octavia was asking. But on the other, it wasn’t like she had anything better to do. And Rarity had always told her it was rude to turn down an invitation without a good reason.

“Um… alright. I’m still not sure how I can help, but I might as well,” she decided.

It was bound to be more pleasant than finding another reading spot at least.

“Financial issues? But you’re two of the most famous musicians in Equestria! How can you be having money problems?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Octavia sighed and sipped her tea, a faint blush on her face. Vinyl Scratch just smirked and gulped down her coffee. The three of them were sitting in the living room, with the hole in the wall fully repaired, though the paint was still drying.

“Well, yes, we do both bear some renown. But simply being popular doesn’t pay the bills. Especially after some recent… disagreements with our agents,” explained Octavia.

“Which is a fancy way of saying that we’re being ripped off. Really, taking eighty-five percent of our hard earned cash wasn’t enough for those creeps? I’d fire all of them if I didn’t know jack about how to get gigs,” grumbled Vinyl.

“I also lack a proper business sense, so we had no choice but to meet their demands. We’ve filed complaints, thought neither of us expect much to come from it. As it stands, we’re not it dire straits just yet, but, well...” Octavia trailed away.

“But we’re one big accident away from falling into a hole we’d never get out of. My ma didn't raise no fool. She taught me to do everything I can to keep the debt collectors off my back, and the best way to do it, legally at least, is make sure they never have a reason to visit you in the first place,” said Vinyl.

“I see…” said Sweetie Belle as she reluctantly sipped her tea. It wasn’t a bad blend, but it was a tad peppery for her tastes.

“So, in order to eliminate the figurative weight above our heads, we've been trying to develop some new musical accord that we could sell on our own. Unfortunately, it hasn’t been going very well,” admitted Octavia.

“Yeah. Octi sucks at mixing her own songs, and dubstep records don’t sell very well. Not that I blame ‘em. Part of what makes my music so awesome can’t be captured on a disk,” said Vinyl with a shrug.

Octavia growled but didn’t object.

“The problem is that if we’re going to make our own record, we’re going to have to come up with something new. Something that’s never been done before. Something that’ll blow away everypony who hears it. Too bad neither of us are skilled creative thinkers,” said Vinyl.

“It doesn’t help that we’ve had to take turns so that we don’t trip on each other’s hooves, which has been slowing us down considerably,” added Octavia.

Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow.

“Why’s that?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Our music is simply incompatible, and neither of us wish to disturb the neighbors by playing outside,” explained Octavia.

“Yeah. Old music and wubs just don't go together,” said Vinyl.

Sweetie Belle sighed.

Yeah, that’s true. I’m still not sure how these two ever became roommates. Nopony’s ever put classical and dubstep together, and…

Sweetie Belle’s train of thought stopped as an idea popped into her head.

Nopony’s ever put them together. So that means it’d be something new. But would it be something good? Can they go together in a way that works? Hm… well, I guess it can’t hurt to try, she thought.

“Really? How do you know they don’t go together?” she asked.

Octavia and Vinyl shared an awkward look.

“Well, as much as I respect Vinyl’s abilities as a musician, I must admit I find her taste in music to be… rather undignified. And she had made no effort to hide how dreary she finds mine,” said Octavia.

“But that's just your tastes in music. Have you ever tried to putting them together? I mean, you’re both really good musicians. Surely you can work something out?” suggested Sweetie Belle.

Octavia and Vinyl looked at each other again.

“Well, I suppose technically there’s no reason why not. I mean, I myself am not very fond of tubas, but I can tolerate them when they’re part of an orchestra. This could prove to be similar,” she admitted.

“And I have mixed on disks full of awf… I mean, slow music before. And it would be kind of sweet to make music with my favorite roommate,” said Vinyl.

“I’m your only roommate, Vinyl. Though to be honest, I can’t imagine it turning out as anything other than incredibly painful, disharmonious noise,” said Octavia.

“Hey, when you break it down, music is all just noise. Noise that ponies want to listen to. And it can’t hurt to try, right? At worst we just have to put up with a bit of noise that neither of us like. I mean, we deal with each other’s music all the time, so it’s not like it’d be anything new,” said Vinyl.

Octavia raised an eyebrow.

“Since when were you so philosophical?” she asked.

“Since never. I just stole that quote from a magazine,” admitted Vinyl with a shrug.

Octavia sighed. Sweetie Belle giggled.

“Very well, I suppose we might as well give it a try,” Octavia said reluctantly as she stood up.

“Alright. I’m the better mixer, so you pick a song, and I’ll see what I can spin into it,” said Vinyl as she walked over to her station.

Sweetie Belle remained seated. She was curious as to whether her idea would work.

A moment later, Octavia had her cello out, and Vinyl had her wubs ready to go. Vinyl looked a little confident, though still a bit apprehensive. Octavia looked like she was already regretting her decision.

“Alright then. I suppose we’ll use a simple piece,” said Octavia as she began to play.

Vinyl listened for a bit, trying to a feel for the melody, and trying to keep her disgust off her face. Then she started adding some simple mixes. There was some awkwardness as their notes tripped up a bit, but after only a few chords they began to sync up.

And the music that resulted was, in a word, epic. It was energetic yet eloquent. It was peppy yet powerful. And it all came together in a way that sounded smooth and beautiful.

Well, for the most part. There were quite a few sour notes, but it was the first time they were playing together so it was to be expected. It was clear they’d need a fair amount of practice before they’d play something like this in public, but it was still fairly pleasant to listen to.

When the song finished, Octavia and Vinyl look at each other with newly found respect and affection. Sweetie Belle found herself applauding.

“That was amazing!” she declared.

“It was… certainly something. Is your music alway so… energetic, Vinyl?” asked Octavia.

“Hay yeah. And that had to be one of the smoothest beats I’ve ever dropped. You know, the classic stuff isn’t that bad once you spin it right. Want to do another?” Vinyl asked.

“Certainly. This is rather exciting, actually. We might very well be making music history today. The first time our music has ever been…” said Octavia.

“Less jaw flapping, more stick thingy on the strings, please,” chided Vinyl.

Octavia sighed.

“It’s called a bow, Vinyl. We’ve had this discussion before,” she groaned, but she started playing another song all the same.

After playing several songs together, the two musicians really started to come together. It was clear that they'd found the inspiration they’d been looking for. Sweetie Belle felt a small amount of pride in knowing it was her idea that had created this amazing new form of music. Just a little pride.

It was especially impressive since Sweetie Belle honestly found both classical and dubstep to be a bit boring. Not that she hated them, she just preferred jazz or pop when she had the choice. But there was something about the music being playing in front of her that really clicked with her.

But then she noticed something odd. It sounded like somepony was singing along with the melody. It wasn’t words, just simple ah’s, but it was there, and it was complementing the music in a pleasant manner. It wasn’t until the musicians paused and turned toward her that she realized that she was the one singing. She quickly stopped.

“Oh, uh, sorry. I guess I just lost myself in the music,” she admitted with a blush.

“Hey, don’t apologize. It sounded great. You’ve got quite a set of lungs on you. Hm… I know, how about you join us? Make it a three-pony gig? It was your idea, after all. I think you deserve to be a part of this,” suggested Vinyl.

Sweetie Belle froze up.

“Oh, don’t tease the poor dear, Vinyl. I think she’s a little young to be making her own albums. However, I agree that she is quite talented. Perhaps in a few years you’ll be willing to join us?” added Octavia.

They heard my singing? And they like it? And now they want to hear more of me? Me? Part of a band? Making music that could be listened to to ponies everywhere in Equestria?! Sweetie Belle thought through her rising panic.

“Oh, no. No, no no. I… I’m not that good a singer! I’d just drag you two down,” she stuttered.

Vinyl Scratch raised her glasses to show her raised eyebrow.

“Really? I mean, yeah, you don’t have a lot of experience, but neither did I when I got into dubstep. It takes a crap-load of practice to get this good. It was just dumb luck that I got to try one of those fancy new music making machines and get my cutie mark for it. Getting enough bits to buy my own set took years…” said Vinyl.

Octavia shook her head.

“I think you’ve rather missed the real issue, Vinyl. I understand, Sweetie Belle. It can be terrifying to let your music be heard by others, and not everypony will be pleased with it. But music is meant to be heard. Even if you don't feel ready for the stage, you can’t let your fear keep you from letting out your songs,” reassured Octavia.

Sweetie Belle sighed and tried to calm herself down.

“Yeah, Rarity’s been telling me the same thing for ages. But I still don’t want to. My singing really isn’t that good. And really, by the time I’m old enough to think about this sort of thing you two will probably have moved to Canterlot to be part of some new music movement. So thank you for the offer, but no thanks,” she declared.

Octavia and Vinyl Scratch shared a knowing smile.

“Alright then. How about taking music lessons with us instead?” offered Octavia.

“Wait, what?” asked Sweetie Belle in surprise.

“You have such a lovely singing voice. It’d be a shame to simply let it go to waste. I’m certain I can spare a little time every week giving you some basic tutelage. And really, we do owe you a fair bit for inspiring us. I think a few free sessions would be the least we could do,” said Octavia.

Sweetie Belle put a hoof to mouth to think. It honestly wasn’t a very difficult decision.

Free music lessons with one of the greatest cellists in generations? This could be the opportunity of a lifetime! And it’d give me something to look forward to on Mondays, too, she thought.

Sweetie Belle opened her mouth to speak.

CRUNCH!

At the moment, the ceiling collapsed.

Sweetie Belle coughed as the room quickly filled with dust. Far more alarming, however, was that a sharp pain shot up her leg. Ironically, it was the same leg that had been hurt the last time the house had been damaged.

“Ow!” she cried out in pain.

“Sweetie Belle! Are you alright?!” exclaimed Octavia.

“Why the buck does this keep happen to us?!” cried Vinyl.

As the dust started to settle, Sweetie Belle turned towards the leg that was in pain, and was horrified to see that it was being crushed under a large chunk of roof.

“My… my leg!” she cried.

Vinyl and Octavia quickly dashed over.

“Oh no… Hold on, I got this,” said Vinyl as she quickly lit up her horn.

With a grunt of effort, Vinyl levitated the chunk off Sweetie Belle’s leg. The sight underneath was horrifying. A large section of her skin-like shell had been torn off, and the inside was badly damaged. The metal was dented in several places, joints and chips looked bent or broken, and more than a few wires had been torn right out of her leg.

“Oh dear,” mumbled Octavia.

“Ah geez, this looks bad. I don’t think the old duct tape trick’s gonna work this time. Hay, I don’t think it’s even fixable. I mean, just look at how twisted the metal is. You might have to get a replacement, Sweetie Belle,” deducted Vinyl.

Sweetie Belle started hyperventilating.

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no! How in Equestria am I supposed to find a replacement robot leg?! There’s no Robot-Parts R Us stores in Ponyville! Or anywhere else! What do I do, what do I do, what do I... She thought.

SEVERE DAMAGE DETECTED. INITIALIZING ADVANCED AUTO-REPAIR.

“Wait, what?!” thought Sweetie Belle as her panic came to a screeching halt.

This has hardly the first voice Sweetie Belle had heard in her head, but this one sounded distinctly machine-like. It also sounded all too familiar.

Suddenly, her broken leg started getting really hot.

“What the…” mumbled Vinyl.

As everypony watched, Sweetie Belle’s leg started to fix itself. The metal started snapping and bending back into position. The wires seemingly grew longer and reconnected. Even the outer shell started to repair itself, not just covering the ongoing repairs but also regrowing hair. After about two minutes the leg was fully repaired, as if nothing had happened.

Sweetie Belle lifted her leg and moved it around. There was absolutely nothing wrong with it.

“Whoa…” whispered Vinyl.

ADVANCED AUTO-REPAIR COMPLETE. PLEASE REMEMBER TO REPLENISH MATERIAL RESERVES, AS ADVANCED AUTO-REPAIR REQUIRES A LARGE AMOUNT OF RESOURCES TO PERFORM.

There’s that weird voice again. It sounds a lot like Sweetie Bot. Is there some kind of robot mind in my head, or was that some kind of automatic message thing? And what did it mean by material reserves? Thought Sweetie Belle.

“OK, I’ve heard rumors about some really fancy stuff, but I’ve never heard anything about a prosthetic that can fix itself! What kind of tech are you packing here?” asked Vinyl excitedly.

Sweetie Belle sighed.

No point in hiding it now. And really, since Vinyl volunteered to repair me this was bound to happen sooner or later. Although, now that I think about it, if I have some kind of self-repair then maybe this could have actually been avoided? Thought Sweetie Belle.

She shook head.

This isn’t the time to be thinking about that, she thought.

“It’s a bit of a long story, but I guess you two should know,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yes, but perhaps we should do something about the giant hole in our roof first. Why did it collapse in the first place?” asked Octavia.

“...and you're going to pay for it!” came a voice from the sky.

The three of them looked up to see a delivery chariot flying over them. One of the pegasi carrying it was arguing with Murphy Law. Sweetie Belle glanced around and noticed that a piano was lying broken on the floor.

“I didn’t even touch it! How is this my responsibility?!” yelled Murphy Law.

“Oh, and you just flew right towards us because you felt like saying hi?! This is definitely your fault, you sad excuse of a lawyer!” yelled the pegasus stallion.

Octavia sighed, while Vinyl Scratch facehooved.

“Of course it’s him again,” groaned Vinyl.

“Indeed. At least we can write the damages off again. Though perhaps we should leave and have our discussion elsewhere? I fear their argument may soon escalate to language Sweetie Belle shouldn’t hear,” suggested Octavia.

At that moment, there was a loud growling noise that made all three of them jump. It wasn’t until the hunger pangs began that Sweetie Belle realize it had come from her stomach.

“Wow. Twelve sandwiches and still going. I’d say you should have exploded by now, but then again I just learned you’re a robot, so what do I know,” commented Vinyl Scratch.

They were at the library. Sweetie Belle had figured Twilight would be helpful for explaining things, and it would be more private that seeing Pinkie Pie at Sugarcube Corner. Not that she hadn’t seriously considered talking to Pinkie. Whatever her body had done to fix itself, it had left her ravenous.

It was a good thing Pinkie had a Pinkie Sense for “somepony is really, really, really hungry,” and had meet them at the library with a large plate of daffodil sandwiches before dashing off to who-knew-where.

“I don’t get it. Not the self-fixing robot part, I read that in a comic book. I mean, why would fixing herself make her so hungry?” asked Spike.

“Ah feahd… *gulp*... I heard a voice say something about ‘material reserves.’ I think the repairs used up whatever material I had, and need to fill it back up,” said Sweetie Belle as she bit into another sandwich.

“With sandwiches?” asked Spike with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, matter transfiguration is possible. Maybe her magic simply uses whatever it can to make what it needs?” theorized Twilight.

“This just keeps on getting more confusing,” admitted Octavia with a shake of her head.

“You mean more awesome! We have an actual robot in town! Are you sure you can’t shoot lasers? It’d be perfect for my show,” said Vinyl.

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes but didn't comment. She was too busy stuffing her face.

When Sweetie Belle finished sandwich number eighteen, the hunger started to abate. At twenty-one, her stomach finally stopped demanding food. It didn’t start settling down, though.

“Ugh. I think I ate half my weight in sandwiches,” moaned Sweetie Belle as she laid on the floor, sporting quite the noticeable food baby.

“I’ll say. I think you beat my record,” noted Vinyl.

“You do seem to be digesting it rather quickly, though,” noted Twilight as Sweetie’s stomach slowly flattened before their eyes.

“Well, at least now we don’t have to worry about you breaking anything. Binge eating like that has to be less painful than a broken leg, right?” added Spike.

“Less painful maybe. I don’t know about more convenient. I just hope this completely vanishes before Rarity sees me, or I’m going to be in huge trouble,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Don’t worry, I’ll have a word with her first if it comes to that. At any rate, what will you two do now? I don’t think I need to tell you that we’d appreciate it if you’d be willing to keep this a secret,” said Twilight as she turned toward the musicians.

“Oh, certainly. I believe it to be quite reasonable to want to keep something so profound hidden. We shall make every effort to assist you as best we can. Right, Vinyl?” asked Octavia.

“I guess. I still don’t think this is the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen, but if you want to keep a secret, then fine,” Vinyl admitted with a shrug.

“I think this weird even by Ponyville standards. What could possibly be crazier than this?” asked Spike.

“Well, there was that one colt back in magic kindergarten who…” Vinyl trailed off when she noticed the look Octavia was giving her.

“Who I promised my roommate I wouldn’t talk about anymore after the story made her throw up. Right, sorry,” admitted Vinyl as she scratched the back of her head.

Sweetie Belle grumbled under her breath. This day had proven to be pretty unpleasant so far, and it was starting to get on her nerves.

“Well, at least there’s somepony out there who has it worse than me. That makes me feel so much better,” said Sweetie Belle with a sarcastic tone.

Octavia raised an eyebrow.

“Now what sort of attitude is that? You’ve never struck me as one to brood, Sweetie Belle,” asked Octavia.

Sweetie Belle sighed.

“I’m not, really. I’m still coming to terms with all this, and the fact that there’s so much I don’t know. It’s all so scary, and there’s just something about all of it that just makes me feel terrible,” admitted Sweetie Belle.

“It’s not your fault you’re a robot, Sweetie Belle,” reminded Twilight.

“I know, but it doesn’t seem that way. I don’t how to explain it but, it feels like… like the whole world is watching me, and it’s just waiting for an excuse to tear me apart,” confessed Sweetie Belle.

Octavia blinked, then sighed.

“That is a feeling I’m all too familiar with,” she admitted.

Sweetie Belle turned toward Octavia in surprise.

“Uh, Octi? I thought you said you never wanted to bring that up again,” said Vinyl.

“I don’t want to bring it up, but I think Sweetie Belle would benefit to hear it. As you’ve probably heard, I am a member of a noble family. A unicorn noble family at that, and one that took excessive pride in their heritage. My parents were significantly less than pleased when I born, as I was living proof that their ancestry wasn’t as ‘pure’ as they claimed,” explained Octavia.

“Wait, I think I read about that in a newspaper once. You’re the earth pony of the noble family that was involved in that terrible scandal a few decades ago, aren't you?” asked Twilight.

Octavia gave a hesitant nod.

“That was a messy affair all around. I’m glad to see you came out of it alright. I still can’t believe there was a family clinging to such horrible traditions only a generation ago,” said Twilight with a shake of her head.

“Traditions?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Er… let’s just say her family was involved in something bad, and leave it at that,” said Twilight with a cough.

“Indeed. I’ve since been all but disowned, though I managed to find myself under the care of foster parents. While my life at home was pleasant, my family’s name haunted me every time I stepped outside my door. I’ve long since risen above the stigma, but there was a time when it seemed that the world had already judged me, and decided I deserved to be ridiculed,” said Octavia.

Sweetie Belle thought about what she’d just heard. It really put her own problems into a new perspective. At least she had the benefit of only ponies she trusted knowing her secret.

Vinyl Scratch cleared her throat.

“Alright, if you’re spilling your guts out, Octi, I’ll do the same. You guys ever wonder why I wear these glasses all the time, even indoors? It’s not because they’re stylish (even though they are), it’s because I have photophobia,” said Vinyl.

“Photophobia? Wait… you’re afraid of sunlight?” asked a confused Sweetie Belle.

“Nah, that’s heliophobia. Photophobia means my eyes are extremely sensitive to light. Luckily, mine is kind of a mild case. I can look around in sunlight without my eyes burning up, but if I soak up too much, I go color blind. You can even see it happening because it makes my eyes turn red,” explained Vinyl.

“Ah ha! I knew it wasn’t just a trick of the light,” said Spike with a fist pump.

“Yeah. It earned me my nickname back at music school. Between my coat, my eyes, and my sleeping habits I really did seem like a vampire. Now, I thought it was a pretty cool nickname, but it also got me teased a lot. ‘What are you doing up this early?’ ‘Where’s your coffin?’ ‘That juice box is full of blood, isn’t it?’ And I never figured out who keep slipping garlic into my locker,” said Vinyl.

“I thought you love garlic,” noted Octavia.

“Not when I was a kid. Look, the point we’re trying to make here is that lots of ponies have to put up with being different. So what if you’re a robot? At least your eyes work fine and you don’t have family problems. And you have the benefit of nopony knowing what makes you different who would bully you for it. So don’t you be getting all sappy on us. There’s more to life than your own personal problems, you know,” said Vinyl.

Sweetie Belle just turned toward the ceiling. She felt a little ashamed to have been lying on the ground complaining.

And really, both of my friends have their own problems, but they’re dealing with them just fine. Even if I’m the only one without answers, is that really a good reason to stew about it like this? Sweetie Belle asked herself.

“Well, I believe we’ve made our point clear. Come along, Vinyl. We’d best get to town hall and fill out the paperwork for our roof before Murphy Law starts making excuses. Have a pleasant afternoon, everypony,” said Octavia with a courteous bow.

“Yeah, we’ll catch you guys later. By the way, that offer for music lessons is still on the table, Sweetie Belle. Feel free to stop by next week if you're interested,” said Vinyl as the two of them turned and headed out the door.

“Well, that makes another two ponies in the know, even if it’s just for Sweetie Belle. You know, if it wasn’t for the whole AAT thing, I’d say we should just come clean. At this rate, half the town will know before Nightmare Night,” commented Spike.

“Maybe, but hopefully by then we’ll have a better understand of the situation. Do you need anything else, Sweetie Belle?” asked Twilight.

“No. Right now I just need some time to think,” said Sweetie Belle with a sigh.

Sweetie Belle, once again, found herself staring at her reflection. She was managing to keep the dark thoughts away, but only barely.

“So, Sweetie Bot, you have a voice now? And you’re doing things to my body that I have no idea how to do myself? Does this mean I have a second mind growing in my head, or are you just some kind of built-in thing that comes with being a robot?” she asked.

If there was a second consciousness, it stayed silent.

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to add it to the list of things I’m not sure about. The list that just keeps getting longer every time I learn something about you. I said I wouldn’t let you bring me down, but can’t you just give me some kind of hint? If you bothered activating that self-repair thing then you probably care about my well-being, so why not help with my anxiety while you’re at it?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Again, there was no response. Sweetie Belle sighed.

“Oh right, because that would be easy. Celestia forbid things be easy. The only way I’m going to get any answers is by picking at my robo-brain, which it extremely frustrating to do, and I can only do for so long before that stupid ‘compatibility rejection’ thing happens,” Sweetie Belle grumbled.

And then an idea occurred to her.

“Wait… did we ever ask Sweetie Bot what compatibility is being rejected?” she asked herself.

After thinking about it for a minute, she realized the answer was no.

The knowledge that she had something new to try filled Sweetie Belle with DETERMINATION.

“Huh. You know what, Sweetie Bot? I’m not going to give up. In fact, I’m going to press you for answers right here and now, all by myself. I’m the real pony here, you disembodied voice! You don’t scare me!” declared Sweetie Belle as she flicked the mental switch.

Once the world was all 1’s and 0’s, Sweetie Belle made the search for compatibility rejection. There were three answers, but it was clear which one she was looking for:

COMPATIBILITY REJECTION: A TERM USED TO DESCRIBE THE NATURAL DISSOCIATION OF CONNECTED M.P.S. AND A.P.P. SYSTEMS. THIS DISSOCIATION CAN RESULT IN A GREAT AMOUNT OF PAIN WHEN THE TWO SYSTEMS ARE FULLY INTEGRATED. THIS UNAVOIDABLE SIDE EFFECT CAN BE REDUCED IN INTENSITY WITH TIME AND REPEATED USE OF FULL INTEGRATION TO ENABLE THE SYSTEMS TO CONFORM TO EACH OTHER.

Full integration, huh? I guess that’s the proper term for going full robot. And I also guess M.P.S and A.P.P. are both some kind of system. But why would two systems that are designed to work together have natural compatibility issues? And if they’re not supposed to work together, why would they be integrated like this? thought Sweetie Belle.

With a shake of her head, Sweetie Belle turned Sweetie Bot off.

“OK, This could be important. I’d better write this down before I try anything else,” she mumbled to herself as she pulled out some paper and a quill.

One step at a time, Sweetie Belle. You’ll get your answers eventually, she reminded herself.

Author's Note

Darn. There goes my one chapter a month streak... Oh wait, I did two and half chapters in December. Never mind.

By the way, this is pretty much my head-canon on how these two started playing music together by episode 100, so those comics about them hating each other's music can still be considered canon! Well, except Sweetie Belle probably wasn't involved.

Chapter 10: Something, Something, Heart's Desire

Another day, another chore that needed to be done. Not that Apple Bloom really minded. Yes, she’d rather be out playing with her friends then working, but Apple Bloom had long since discovered both the satisfaction of a job well done and the desire to prove herself a capable worker. Plus, she’d recently started finding creative new ways to do said chores.

“Alright, Apple Bloom. This fence post needs uprootin’, and it’s bein’ mighty stubborn ‘bout it. Ya mind givin’ it a good buck from beneath?” asked Applejack.

“No problem, sis,” said Apple Bloom.

She checked to make sure nopony was watching, and then took her bow off.

“OK, feel mah magic, focus it through mah body, and drive it down into the earth,” she recited to herself.

After a moment of concentration, she once again slipped beneath the soil. Her senses exploded outward, but Apple Bloom focused on the fence post and made her way towards it. Her underground movements were still somewhat jerky, but she was definitely getting smoother. She slipped underneath the post, spun her body around, and bucked with everything she had.

While the buck didn't send it flying into the air or anything so impressive, it did pop right out of the ground. Satisfied, Apple Bloom slipped back out of the dirt.

“Nicely done, Apple Bloom. Yer gettin’ pretty good at that earth divin’ thing,” said Applejack with a nod.

“Thanks. Ah’ve been practicin’,” said Apple Bloom as she redid her bow.

“Glad to see it. Ya know, Ah think y’ave really started to turn yer situation around,” said Applejack with a smile.

“Ah hope so. Ah’m an Apple. And us Apples don’t stay down for long,” declared Apple Bloom in a proud tone.

“Now ain’t that the truth,” said Applejack as she turned to move the fence post.

As soon as her sister’s back was turned, Apple Bloom’s expression drooped a bit and she let out a soft sigh. She might have gotten used to being a ghoul after all these months, but she was wasn’t entirely comfortable with it.

“Yeah. It’s a good thing Ah’m learnin’ how to to be a monster. After all, Ah’m goin’ to be one for another hundred years or so,” she mumbled to herself.

“School’s gonna be startin’ soon,” said Apple Bloom.

“Eyup,” said Big Mac.

The sun was setting, and the two of them were bringing in the last few apple baskets for the day. Apple Bloom was still a bit down, but she was trying to keep it to herself. Key word being try.

“Guess yer goin’ to have to fix the sheep pen yerself,” said Apple Bloom.

“Eyup,” said Big Mac.

“Sorry ‘bout that. Ya know Ah don’t try to use school as an excuse to get out of mah chores, but we never got around to it when we had the chance,” apologized Apple Bloom.

“Eyup,” said Big Mac.

“Ah still don’t get why y’all insist Ah spend less time helpin’ the farm when Ah’m in school. Ah can carry mah weight and Ah wanna help. Ah have nothin’ better to do on Mondays at least,” said Apple Bloom.

“School’s important. If ya work all day in the field, y’all be too tired to study properly,” said Big Mac.

“Ya didn’t work less when ya were still in school,” grumbled Apple Bloom.

Big Mac stopped and turned towards his sister with a serious expression.

“Ya know why,” he said.

Apple Bloom blinked before sighing in shame.

“Right, sorry. Ah keep forgettin’ how hard it was back then after… ya know,” said Apple Bloom.

The two stood there for a moment in silence.

“Do ya… do ya think they’d be ashamed of me?” asked Apple Bloom.

Big Mac raised an eyebrow in a concerned manner.

“Ah mean, just look at me. Yeah, they’d probably accept me like the rest of the family, but would they be happy? Would they be proud of me for tryin’ to keep mah curse from draggin’ me down, or just disappointed that Ah let mahself get cursed in the first place?” asked Apple Bloom.

Big Mac didn’t answer right away, and pulled her into a hug.

“Both, ah’d wager. Parents want nothin’ more than to see their kids do well. They’d be sad to see ya fall, but happy to see ya get back up. It’s as simple as that,” said Big Mac.

Apple Bloom sighed again, but she did feel a little better.

Apple Bloom lay on her bed that night, deep in thought. She never really thought about her parents that much, mostly on account of how little she remembered about them. Granny Smith told stories about them on occasion, but for the most part no one in the family wanted to bring them up.

That night was no exception, and her thoughts quickly drifted to other topics. Unfortunately, thinking about her parents had sent her mind into other unpleasant territory.

Am Ah really doin’ somethin’ they’d be proud of? Is learnin’ how to be a monster the right thing to do? Should Ah be spending mah time learnin’ how to be a better ghoul, or should Ah really be tryin’ to bury mah curse? Ah could probably find somethin’ longer lastin’ than mah bow, and just pretend that part of me isn’t real, she pondered.

Apple Bloom sighed. This really wasn’t the first time this idea had come up.

Come on, Apple Bloom. How long has this been goin’ on now? Ya’ve been a ghoul for months and yer still actin’ like the world’s come to an end. Life’s still goin’, even if yer not entirely alive anymore. And ya have no right to complain. Just look at yer friends, her mind argued back.

Apple Bloom’s thoughts turned toward Sweetie Belle, who still knew so little about her own body, and Scootaloo, who had been born corrupted by evil slime. Was it really fair for her to whine about her condition when she wasn't the only one with problems?

Yer not alone Apple Bloom. Ya have friends who know what yer goin’ through, a family that still cares for ya, and even two liches who are willin’ to teach ya. Yeah, being cursed stinks, but it could be so much worse. Don’t ya go forgettin’ that, Apple Bloom reminded herself.

Apple Bloom let out another sigh, but also smiled.

“Yeah. Ah have no business stewin’ like this. Ah’ve lasted fine so far, and Ah won’t let this curse start draggin’ me down now. Not me, or any of mah friends,” she whispered to herself as she turned over and went to sleep.

Or at least tried to.

The next morning, Apple Bloom and her friends found themselves in the Apple family’s kitchen.

“So… what exactly are we doing here again?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Applejack said she had somethin’ important to tell the three of us,” answered Apple Bloom with a yawn.

She must have been up late tossing and turning last night, because she was exhausted that morning. Her head felt fuzzy and her vision was blurry no matter how many times she blinked.

Hope Ah’m not commin’ down with somethin’, she thought.

She then realized that was unlikely on account she was a little too deadish to get sick.

A moment later, Applejack walked in.

“Alright girls, after everythin’ that’s happened so far, Ah think it’s high time Ah let y’all in on what’s really goin’ on,” announced Applejack.

The three fillies shared an uncertain look.

“What do you mean, ‘what’s really going on?’ Are we planning a surprise party for somepony?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Nah, this is bigger than that. Ah mean it’s time ya three learned about the legend of the hidden mark,” declared Applejack.

Apple Bloom and her friends shared confused looks.

“Hidden mark? What the hay is that?” asked Scootaloo.

“The hidden mark that everypony in Equestria is hidin’. Everypony gets one, just like we all get our cutie marks. And once ya get yer mark and prove ya’ve come to terms with it, we let y’all in on the truth,” said Applejack.

Apple Bloom tried to clear her head. The fuzziness wasn’t going away, but this was clearly something important.

“What truth?” asked Apple Bloom.

“The truth that there ain’t no such thing as a normal pony,” answered Applejack.

Apple Bloom blinked, trying to comprehend what her sister had just said.

“Y’all bein’ a robot, a changeling, and a ghoul ain’t as unnatural as ya think. Truth is, everypony’s hidin’ somethin’ like that,” said Applejack.

Apple Bloom’s jaw dropped.

“Wait, What?! But... but…” she stuttered, but she couldn’t get the words out.

“It’s true. Some ponies are born with secrets, others get turned into stuff, but there ain’t a pony alive who’s a run of mill unicorn, pegasus, or earth pony by the time they’re all grown up,” explained Applejack.

Apple Bloom wasn't entirely sure how to feel about this. The idea that everypony was hiding some secret sounded like a pleasant revelation, but it seemed too ridiculous to be real. But her sister wouldn’t make something like this up, would she?

“Really? Then what’s your secret, Applejack?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Applejack gave them a stern look.

“Now see, this is why nopony told ya when ya first discovered yer secrets. It ain’t somethin’ ya bring up with other ponies. Most don’t take kindly to havin’ their problems aired to everypony else,” said Applejack.

“Oh. Sorry,” said Sweetie Belle with a blush.

“That said, Ah’m willin’ to share mah secret, but ah want y’all to promise not to say a word about it to nopony, alright?” said Applejack.

As she and her friends nodded in agreement, Apple Bloom couldn’t help but wonder why her sister hadn’t asked for a Pinkie Promise if it was such a big deal.

“Alright then. Y’all better brace yerself. This can be kinda disturbin’,” said Applejack.

She then reached back and pulled her hair band out of her mane. When it came out, Applejack’s mane seemed normal at first. Then leaves and vines started growing out of it.

“Ya see, Ah’m a dryad,” explained Applejack.

Apple Bloom found herself almost completely lost for words.

“But… but… but… that’s not… ya can’t… what?!” she stammered out.

“A dryad. It means Ah’m a tree spirit. When ah was a filly, a little after Ah came home from Manehattan, Ah came across an enchanted tree on the edge of the farm. One thing led to another, and before ya knew it Ah was magically bound to the tree. Ah’ve been part plant ever since,” explained Applejack.

Something about this whole situation didn’t seem right to Apple Bloom.

“Whoa. I thought dryads were only a myth. Nopony in my hive’s ever seen one,” noted Scootaloo.

“Wait, what about the rest of your family? Are Big Mac and Granny Smith dryads too?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Nah. Big Mac’s a were-pony. Luckily, every full moon he turns into a big red dog instead of a wolf. Ya remember what Discord did to him? All he did was draw out his inner dog while he was still a pony,” said Applejack.

Now Apple Bloom was certain that something was seriously wrong here.

“Wait a minute, Ah've been awake durin’ a full moon, but Ah’ve never seen anythin’ like that!” exclaimed Apple Bloom.

“We’ve gotten really good at hidin’ it. Now, Ah have no idea what Granny’s secret is, but she said it’s why she’s been around for so long. Ah overheard her sayin’ that she’d wish ‘that coward’ would just stallion up and challenge her to become ‘the last,’ but as long as he kept his distance, she wouldn’t push for it,” said Applejack with a shrug.

This was the breaking point.

“What the hay?! That’s part of the story from that ‘haylander’ movie! There’s no way that’s true! And ya just say that yer not supposed to talk about this stuff, so why are ya just tellin’ us all of this?! Is this some kind of prank or something?! This ain’t possible!” cried Apple Bloom.

All at once, the world around Apple Bloom seemed to freeze. Apple Bloom blinked and turned around in confusion. Her friends, her sister, and even the morning birds outside were stopped. Nothing was moving.

“Tiss a shame. This was proving most entertaining,” said a regal voice, seemingly from nowhere.

“Huh? Wait, Princess Luna?” asked Apple Bloom as she recognized the voice.

“Yes, it is I,” said the Moon Princess as she appeared seeming out of the air.

“Oh… Ah get it now. Ah’m dreamin’ again, ain’t Ah?” asked Apple Bloom with a sigh.

“Indeed, though this is a much better dream than usual for you, isn’t it? Certainly far more pleasant than revisiting that fateful night,” noted Luna.

“Yeah, Ah guess it is. Ah mean, it’s loads better than bein’ back at that stupid village again, but Ah haven’t had a nightmare in ages,” admitted Apple Bloom.

“Do you consider this to be a nightmare? It’s bizarre, certainly, but I fail to see how it could be distressing,” said Luna.

“Because Ah’m dreamin’ that everypony’s a freak of some kind. Ya always told me that dreams tend to show some part of us we don’t realize we have. It ain’t exactly a nice thing to know that some small part of me wants to turn everypony into monsters,” admitted Apple Bloom.

“On the contrary, I believe this dream signifies you to be quite virtuous,” said Luna.

“Really? How?” asked Apple Bloom with a raised eyebrow.

Luna walked over and pulled Apple Bloom into a hug.

“Young Apple Bloom, you’ve been met with a terrible fate. The curse that clings to you is not one that can be easily broken, as you are all too aware. It is a burden you shall bear for a lifetime, and possibly longer. This uncompromising fact clings to your subconscious, making it all but impossible for you to see a dream where you are cured as anything other than fantasy,” stated Luna.

“Ah know. Hay, yer part of the reason why Ah know that so well. But how does that change anything?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Because though you know you are cursed, your heart wishes to truly belong among your fellow ponies. Therefore, when you dream of this becoming a reality, you do not see yourself as normal, but everypony else as abnormal. After all, if being in such a state is what it means to be a typical pony, than your curse makes you no different than anypony else. Do you understand?” asked Luna.

Apple Bloom turned toward her frozen sister, leaves and vines still in her mane. When Applejack had shared her secret, some part of her had felt somewhat relieved despite her confusion. She had been relieved that she wasn’t as much of a monster as she thought. Maybe Luna did have a point.

“Ah think so. If nopony’s normal, then bein’ a ghoul’s no big deal, right?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Precisely. I believe that your friends may have planted the idea when they revealed themselves to you. This was simply the first night since then that you were in the correct state of mind for it to manifest in your dreams,” explained Luna.

“That’s interestin’ and all, but Ah still don’t see how this ‘signifies virtue,’ or whatever,” said Apple Bloom with a shrug.

Luna gave a patient smile.

“Apple Bloom, can you recall what your nightmares were about your first night as a ghoul?” asked Luna.

Apple Bloom shook her head. Right after her turning, she’d had nightmare after nightmare, and they’d all long since blended together into a terrifying haze she was trying to forget about.

“Your greatest fear wasn’t to return to the cursed village, though the idea did terrify you. No, what you feared more than anything else was your curse spreading further. That night, your family, friends, and neighbors all joined you in your twisted form. It was horrifying to be sure, but worse yet was that you felt a small amount of relief course through you as you realized that you were no longer alone, and then hated yourself for feeling that way,” said Luna.

Apple Bloom thought about it, but she still couldn't remember any nightmares like that, not entirely. It sounded familiar though, and she could easily picture herself reacting like that, so it didn’t seem too crazy.

“That nightmare was never repeated, as you quickly learned that your curse was well contained. And yet, some small part of you still longed to see that dream become reality. This is no reason to despair, however. Even the purest of hearts hold darkness within them. The small shadowy corner that desired such a thing held no power over you, as you recognized it for the selfish desire that it was,” continued Luna.

“That doesn’t sound too virtuous,” objected Apple Bloom.

“That you would suppress such desires? It is very much so. And think about it, if you will: if you so greatly long to become normal, why is this the first time you've had a dream such as this? Surely your desires would have affected your dreams more frequently, if not for one crucial detail. Can you guess what that is?” asked Luna.

Apple Bloom thought about it for a moment.

“Because… because Ah don’t want to be normal if it means that other ponies have to get hurt?” proposed Apple Bloom.

Luna smiled again.

“It is natural to want. It is also natural to pursue such desires. But it is virtuous to be unwilling to bring others to harm to obtain them. A somewhat commonplace virtue perhaps, but a virtue nonetheless. This dream is not a nightmare, but a spark of hope that the world may be less terrifying than it appears to be,” said Luna.

Apple Bloom smiled back. As always, her conversations with Luna made her feel much better about herself. But then something occurred to her.

“Wait… if this isn’t a nightmare, then why are ya here?” asked Apple Bloom.

Luna blinked before sheepishly tapping her hooves together.

“Well… I know I said I try to avoid visiting dreams that are not nightmares, but with how much distress your condition has been causing you, I thought it be best to keep a close eye on your dreams in case one such nightmare slipped in. And when I realized what you were dreaming I… got rather curious as to what your subconscious would conceive for the secrets of those around you,” admitted Luna with a blush.

Apple Bloom turned toward Applejack again, still part plant.

“Ah see what ya mean, but where in Equestria did mah mind come up with this?” she asked as she pointed at her sister.

“It’s your subconscious, Apple Bloom. It doesn’t always put forth the most logical conclusions. At any rate, now that you’re aware of the dream, would you care to see what other secrets this dream world is hiding?” suggested Luna.

Apple Bloom nodded. Now that she knew this was a dream, she was rather curious.

“Why not. This could be kind of fun,” she said.

With a nod, Luna became transparent, and the dream continued as if nothing had happened.

“Now, Ah’m sure ya got a ton of questions, and Ah’m sure lots of ponies will be willin’ to share so ya know what not to do around them. But remember not to bring this up in public, understand?” said dream-Applejack.

Apple Bloom and her dream friends nodded in agreement. She noticed Luna’s horn lighting up out of the corner of her eye.

“So… do you know my sister’s secret too?” asked dream-Sweetie Belle.

Applejack rubbed the back of her neck nervously, making the plants in her mane rustle.

“Well… Ah guess Ah can tell ya ‘bout a few other ponies’ secrets. The three of ya would probably just go around cornerin’ ponies to ask ‘em anyway,” she deducted.

Apple Bloom noted that this was quite the jump in logic, but figured Luna was pushing the dream to show more of her surroundings. She didn’t mind. It meant less playing along and more watching.

“So Rarity’s body’s actually pony-made. She ain’t a robot like you, Sweetie Belle. She’s just a mannequin pony with a livin’ brain controllin’ it. She told me it’s because of an incident with a sewin’ machine, but Ah have trouble believin’ a sewin’ machine could mess a pony up so bad they’d need a new body,” said Applejack.

That made sense, in a dream logic sort of way. If Sweetie Belle had a fake body, then her sister probably somewhat matched. Though Apple Bloom really couldn’t see how that didn’t make Rarity a robot.

“Rainbow Dash’s secret is that she’s actually part rainbow. By that, Ah mean her mother was literally a rainbow. She has to soak up sunlight as much as she needs to eat. Don’t ask, Ah don’t know how it’s possible either. All she said was that her mom’s job of crushin’ robot chickens led to her meetin’ her father,” said Applejack.

Apple Bloom decided to pointedly ignore that last detail. She was positive it was a reference to something she saw some time ago and tried to forget about.

“Now, for years Ah thought Fluttershy was another dryad, but it turns out that ain’t the case. She’s actually a…”

“...and then when Ah asked about Lyra, Ah thought for sure Applejack would say she was one of those ‘human’ things she’s always goin’ on about. But nope, it turns out she was actually a seapony. Bon Bon was the human in disguise. Apparently that’s why they're such good friends,” recounted Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo giggled. It was the actual morning after Apple Bloom’s dream, and the three of them were at the clubhouse. After she had been rather entertained last night, Apple Bloom was sharing what she saw with her friends.

“Now, Ah thought Berry Punch bein’ a livin’ pony-shaped berry was kind of silly, but then it turned out Ruby Pinch was a livin’ pony-shaped bottle of wine. Now that wasn’t the silly part. The silly part is that Berry refuses to drink from her own daughter because, and Ah quote: ‘She’s the best darn drink Ah ever made, and if Ah taste that liquid gold Ah won’t be able to drink anything else ever again,” said Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo fell into yet another giggle fit.

“You know, that one’s kind of cute. I mean, we all know how much Berry Punch cares about Ruby, so it kind of makes sense,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah, for a dream. Seriously Apple Bloom, you have some really, really weird dreams,” said Scootaloo with a shake of her head.

“Yeah, well, it’s better than havin’ nightmares,” replied Apple Bloom with a shrug.

“True, though I kind of wish you’d told us about those sooner, Apple Bloom. I can understand why you’d hide them when neither of us knew you were a ghoul, but it’s been awhile since we shared secrets. Why were you still keeping this to yourself?” asked Scootaloo.

“Well, after Ah told y’all, the nightmares started happenin’ less and less. Ah didn’t see much point in sharin’ a problem that was goin’ away on it’s own. And Ah figured both of ya have been dealin’ with nightmares of yer own, so Ah didn’t want to bother ya with mine,” answered Apple Bloom.

Her friends nodded in agreement, though Sweetie Belle seemed a bit reluctant.

“Yeah. While the hivemind can help deal with these kind of things, there’s not a changeling alive who hasn’t had nightmares about being discovered. I had some really bad ones about you two driving me away some time ago,” admitted Scootaloo.

“Considerin’ how slow ya shared yer secret, Ah can believe that,” said Apple Bloom with an eyeroll.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” demanded Scootaloo.

“Ah mean that it was obvious that ya were nervous. Ya looked like ya were expectin’ one of us to tackle ya or somethin’,” explained Apple Bloom with a wave of her hoof.

“I kind of was…” mumbled Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom turned toward Sweetie Belle, who was admiring the wonderful details of the floor.

“Sweetie Belle? Are ya alright?” asked Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle sighed and gave her friends a tired look.

“I still have nightmares all the time. Sometime’s it’s Sweetie Bot taking over me and attacking everypony. Sometimes it’s an alien invasion that I’m responsible for. Sometimes it’s…” Sweetie Belle paused and shivered.

“Sometimes it’s far, far worse. Princess Luna’s been helping, and every once in awhile I have a pleasant dream where everypony’s a robot instead, but they just keep coming,” admitted Sweetie Belle, trembling slightly.

Apple Bloom felt no small amount of deja vu. She once again found herself wondering just how skilled Princess Luna was at finding ways to help ponies overcome their fears, and not just through their dreams. She also wondered whether or not Luna had set up last night’s weird dream herself. Dismissing such thoughts for now, Apple Bloom trotted over and pulled Sweetie Belle into a hug.

“It’s alright Sweetie Belle. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with bein’ scared about things ya don’t understand. Ya want answers, just like Ah did after Ah was cursed. While it might seem mighty bleak right now, Ah promise that things’ll get less scary with time. It’ll always seem weird and stuff, but there ain’t nothing wrong with bein’ wierd,” said Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle started crying a little.

“I just… I just wish I knew if I’m dangerous or not…” whimpered Sweetie Belle.

“So what if you are?” asked Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle looked at Scootaloo in confusion.

“So what if you’re dangerous? Just because you can hurt others doesn’t mean you will. I could suck the love right out of both of you, but I won’t. Twilight Sparkle could use her magic to bully others, but she won’t. Hay, Princess Celestia could use the sun and turn us all to ash, but we all know she won’t. She would never even consider it,” explained Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle looked at the floor again in thought.

“And think about this, Sweetie Belle: yer not alone. We know how scared ya are, and we want to help. So don’t be afraid to talk with us about anything that comes up. We’ll be right here every step of the way,” reassured Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle sniffed, but smiled.

“Yeah. I know that part. I was just telling myself about it the other day. I might be the only robot in the world, but I’m not the only one afraid of what I could be. I promised myself I wouldn’t get so upset about it anymore but, it’s really hard sometimes,” admitted Sweetie Belle.

“And there ain’t nothing wrong with being upset every now and again as long as ya pull yerself back up again,” said Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle nodded in agreement.

“And really, I think you have it must worse than me, Apple Bloom. At least I don’t smell like a corpse,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Hey!” objected Apple Bloom, though a smile made it’s way onto her face.

“You really think so? Last I checked neither of us had to deal with mysterious voices inside our heads,” said Scootaloo with a smirk.

“No, ya just had to deal with an entire hive in yer head. Clearly yer the worst off of all of us,” Apple Bloom pointed out.

“Oh yeah?” challenged Scootaloo.

“Yeah,” replied Apple Bloom.

“Are we seriously arguing over who’s got it worse again?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah, because the robot would totally be the first to notice that. You’re brain’s just so far above the rest of us, you’re eliminated by default,” said Scootaloo.

“Oh sure, just because Sweetie Bot’s smarter than all of us means that I’m better off. It’s not like I’m the only one without tutors on how to be me,” said Sweetie Belle with an eyeroll.

And so the argument continued well into the afternoon, with everypony having a good time poking fun at each other and themselves. It was amazing how a little laughter could make all their problems seem less daunting.

And they all agreed on one thing: Twilight Sparkle being a disguised alicorn was the most ridiculous part of Apple Bloom’s dream. There was no possible way that could happen.

Author's Note

Fun fact: this chapter was originally an April Fool's Day joke, but then character drama sneaked it's way in and I decided this could work as an actually chapter, so I reworked it a bit. I'll just have to come up with something else for April Fool's Day.

I'm also starting to think I should add a drama tag to this thing. I do seem to add a lot of internal struggling for a comedy.

And be honest, some of you thought I was jumping the shark with dryad Applejack before you realized it was dream, didn't you?

Chapter 10.5: What's Babs Seed up to?

Babs Seed sighed as she trotted into her room. Her math teacher was a cruel, cruel mare. She had so much homework already, and it was only the third day of the school year!

As she tossed aside her saddlebags, she noticed a letter on her desk. When she saw that it was from her cousin, she quickly opened it.

Dear Babs Seed,

How’s it going cousin? It’s been pretty quiet around here. Well, more quiet than usual at least. We only had one monster attack this month, the barn only collapsed twice, and the only pony that went to the hospital turned out to just have a bit of a gas problem.

Anyway, just sending this letter because we haven’t seen each other for awhile now, and I was wondering what you’ve been up to lately. I mean, I have no idea what it’s like living in a big city, but I bet it must be pretty exciting.

Probably far more exciting than what me and the girls have been up to. Crusading has proven as unsuccessful as ever, and I think we’re starting to run out of ideas. We actually resorted to fishing the other day. Fishing! Can you imagine how boring it was to just sit there in a boat and wait for something to happen? None of us had fun with it.

We also learned that Scootaloo’s a lousy swimmer. On the bright side though, we learned that Sweetie Belle can swim just fine despite, you know, that. And it turns out that because of my… condition, I can hold my breath for a really, really, really long time. Just wish that swimming didn’t make me smell so bad. Neither of my friends wanted to be near me after that.

That reminds me, do you think you could stop by for another visit sometime? We had a lot of fun with you that week, and it would be nice to spend some more time with you. Oh, and word’s got out about your pinball skills and a few colts around town would like to see you in action.

By the way, have you been having any dreams lately? I had a really silly one the other night where there was no such thing as a normal pony. Big Mac was a werewolf, Applejack was part plant, and I think you were a giant spider. Crazy right?

Well, I’m running out of paper, so I guess I’ll end this letter here. Take care of yourself cousin.

-Apple Bloom.

With a shake of her head, Babs pulled out ink, paper, and quill to start writing a reply.

Dear Apple Bloom,

The most exciting thing to happen to me since we last saw each other was that time I went roller skating last week. I don’t mind reading about what you've been up to, but next time you send a letter, can you please remember where you live? My big sis still thinks I turned into a vampire and I’m just hiding it from her, and I don’t want her to start getting ideas.

I haven’t had much luck crusading either. I tried my hoof at cooking the other day and… well, I didn’t burn juice or anything like that, but it still wasn’t very good. By the way, fishing really isn’t that bad. If you find yourself watching paint dry for a cutie mark or something, that’s when you’ve run out of ideas.

And sure, I’d be happy to visit again. It probably won't be for awhile though. School’s already started for me, and my mom wouldn’t let me leave the house, let alone take a train, if I have homework to do. And yeah, I have a lot already.

Babs paused to think for a moment. She really did want to see her cousin again, but she knew better than to argue with her mom about school. Then she had an idea.

That said, I think I might be able to stop by next holiday break though. Maybe I can come around Nightmare Night? I admit I’m kind of curious about how a small town celebrates it.

Anyway, glad to hear from you cousin. Good luck with the whole… you know what.

-Babs Seed

Babs looked down at her letter.

“Hm… Should Ah mention the dream Ah had where everypony was part snake? She’d probably find it amusin’,” she asked herself.

She thought about it for a minute or two.

“Nah. It’d probably turn inta a self-fulfillin’ prophecy or somethin’. And if Ah ever have tah turn inta somethin’, Ah’d rather it not be a snake,” she decided as she folded the letter.

Author's Note

It occurred to me that Babs has been MIA for awhile now. No, not in my fic, but in MLP:FiM period. We haven't seen her since Apple Family Reunion! I think. I don't really watch the show that much...

And yes, this is a shameless set up to get her in town for a Nightmare Night chapter I have planned. I'm just putting it up now because I couldn't get the dream gag out of my head. I just had to add spider Babs. 'Cause she's from Manehattan.

Get it? Spider pony in Manehattan?

...

I blame my muse.

Chapter 11: First Day of School, and Bugsitting

The first day of the new school year: a date dreaded by many a youth regardless of age, gender, or species. Some disliked having to sit in a boring classroom for hours on end. Others feared having to be near ponies they’d usually avoid. Scootaloo, however, had another reason to be upset that morning.

“You can’t be serious! You want me to take care of him by myself?!” exclaimed Scootaloo.

Namely, the fact that her mother had stopped by her house before the sun had even risen to announce that she’d been given an important job, starting that very day.

“Well, one pony joining the class will raise far less suspicion than several,” explained Blue Monarch.

“Then why are we sending him to Ponyville? You really expect me to believe that there’s not a single classroom with more than one changeling in all of Equestria?” demanded Scootaloo.

“Because it’s Ponyville. It’ll be far easier to cover our tracks if something goes wrong here than anywhere else. Now don’t worry Scootaloo. All you have to do to keep an eye on him in the classroom. The other hives are taking care of everything else. You don’t even have to make friends with him if you don’t want to,” reassured Blue Monarch.

“I’m still responsible for someone who might end up affecting all of changeling kind. Forgive me if I’m a little worried because I’ve only been given a few hours to prepare for this! Can’t you do something? Have someone always on hoof to make sure things don’t go wrong?” argued Scootaloo.

“Scootaloo, your job is to be on hoof for him if something goes wrong. You are asking me to give this job to somepony else, and I think you are more than capable of doing it. And if you’re so nervous, maybe you can ask your friends for help?” suggested Blue Monarch.

Scootaloo’s train of thought ground to a halt. She hadn’t thought about that.

“It’s way too early for this,” grumbled Sweetie Belle.

The three of them were at the clubhouse a little after sunrise, which was very odd for them on a school day, let alone the first.

“I know, but I need the time to explain things to you two. Something’s come up, and I could really use your help,” said Scootaloo.

“On the first day of school?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Yes, on the first day of school. Do you think I’m happy I had to drag you two out here this early either?” asked Scootaloo with an eyeroll.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle shared a sigh.

“Fair enough. So what’s this all about?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo turned toward the door.

“OK, we’re ready for you!” called Scootaloo.

The door to the clubhouse open to reveal a blue crystal pony colt with an urn cutie mark.

“Uh… Hi everypony,” the colt said nervously as he walked inside.

“Huh. Wasn’t expectin’ that. Who are you?” asked Apple Bloom.

The crystal pony’s gaze shifted nervously.

“Oh, me? I’m… uh... Crystal Hoof! Yes, Crystal Hoof. I’m visiting from the Crystal Empire as a… transfer student. We’re going to be classmates,” said Crystal Hoof with an awkward smile.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle shared a look then turned to Scootaloo with unamused expressions.

“He’s a changeling, isn’t he?” asked Apple Bloom.

The disguised changeling gave an eep of fright while Scootaloo facehooved.

See what I mean? This plan is doomed, thought Scootaloo.

Yes, because two ponies who know you’re a changeling figuring it out is clearly a sign that everypony else is going to, snarked Beetle.

Indeed. The plan is still on, Scootaloo, added Blue Monarch.

Scootaloo huffed, but accepted that whining wouldn’t make this day any easier.

“Relax, Thorax. These two already know about us. They’ve even visited my hive,” reassured Scootaloo.

“Oh. OK, I was kind of worried I blew it already,” said Thorax with a sigh of relief.

“So… why is another changeling going to school with us? I mean, there’s nothing wrong with that, but why?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo took a deep breath. She really didn’t want to have to start rambling this early in the morning, but this was important.

“It’s kind of complicated. Remember how we were treating all of Chrysalis's changelings because she wasn’t watching her royal jelly intake?” asked Scootaloo.

“Yeah, but you guys never really explained what that means. Does it work like bees, where royal jelly makes royal changelings?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Sort of, except… Nevermind, you don’t want to know the details. Short and clean version: we had an entire hive full of changelings whose bodies were in bad shape because they didn’t have enough jelly in them to become royals, but they had enough to remain regular changelings,” explained Scootaloo.

“So.. ya had to mess around with their bodies to fix them? Sounds like things got mighty messy,” commented Apple Bloom.

“It kind of did,” mumbled Thorax as he rubbed his stomach at the memory.

“Luckily, we managed to work everything out. While all of Chrysalis’s changelings are still really funky colors, they’re otherwise normal now. We’re even redistributing them among all the other hives to give them new homes. There was, however, one exception. Thorax here had just a bit too much royal jelly in him to safely revert to a drone. Instead, we had to push him forward the other way,” explained Scootaloo.

“Other way? Ya mean he’s a royal changeling now?” asked Apple Bloom.

Thorax looked around to make absolutely sure no one was nearby, before dropping his disguise. He now towered over the fillies, revealing that he was actually a fully grown changeling. his body a rather flamboyant green, his purple wings were large and glittering, and his single horn stood sharp and proud.

“Wow. I mean, your colors are kind of weird, but otherwise you look kind of neat,” said Sweetie Belle.

“You should have seen him before we fixed him up. He looked like a moose,” said Scootaloo with an eyeroll.

Thorax blushed before turning back into Crystal Hoof.

“Alright, that’s interesting and all, but that still doesn’t explain why he’s goin’ to school with us. He’s a grown up, right?” asked Apple Bloom.

“It has everything to do with why. You two know how the queen rules the hive and the princesses raises the citizens. But we don’t have any kings or princes. Male royal changelings just don’t have a place in a hive,” said Scootaloo.

Thorax gave an awkward cough while Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle raised their eyebrows.

You might want to try wording that better, commented Lynx.

“Oh, right. I don’t mean we’re kicking him out just because he’s a guy or anything. There’s nothing wrong with being a male royal. I’m just saying there’s no real reason for him to be a royal changeling in the first place since he can’t lay any eggs,” reassured Scootaloo.

“Ah. OK,” said Sweetie Belle with a nod.

“But that still leaves the problem of what to do with him. We can’t just let him take the place of one of our queens, and he can't do the job of a princess. We thought about letting him take control of Chrysalis’s changelings and making it an official eighth hive, but he’s spent his whole life just scrubbing floors in Chrysalis’s hive. He’s had no training, no field experience, and no proper education,” explained Scootaloo.

Thorax looked at the ground and rubbed his hoof against the floor.

“It’s true. I’m not even very good at disguises. The only reason I’m a crystal pony is because I still can’t get pony hair right, and crystal pony coats are a little harder than the other tribes so it’ll be easier to hide,” Thorax admitted shamefully.

Scootaloo sighed. She could already tell what Thorax’s biggest problem was going to be during his stay.

“Anyways, after some debate the queens realized that, due to recent events, we had the perfect job for him: official changeling ambassador in Canterlot once we’re ready to reveal ourselves. He doesn’t have ties to any other hive, so he’ll be a great neutral speaker for all of us,” said Scootaloo.

“Let me guess, the problem is that he has a lot to learn before he can take the job, right?” asked Apple Bloom.

Thorax blushed at her words, and gave a small nod.

“Exactly. And, for some strange reason, everyone decided that it’d be best to make him go to school to learn. Namely, our school. And because I’m the only changeling who’ll be attending the same classes as him, it’s my responsibility to make sure he doesn’t expose himself,” said Scootaloo.

“Wait, the entire changeling race decided that it’d be best to send him here, and for you to take care of him yourself?!” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well, just at school. The other hives are taking care of everything else. We’re not even connected to the same hivemind,” admitted Scootaloo with a shrug.

“Whew. Alright, that sounds a lot less insane,” said Apple Bloom with a nod.

“And that’s why I need your help. Thorax here has never had to go out and use a disguise before. As you noticed, he’s still got a lot to learn about that too. I’ll be keeping the closest eye on him, but I would really appreciate it if you two would give me some backup,” finished Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom looked at Thorax, who seemed to be trying to blend in with the floor.

“Well… Ah can’t say Ah think this is a good idea, but Ah definitely don’t want to see anythin’ happen to him. Ah’m in,” said Apple Bloom.

“Yeah. We’ll be glad to help,” said Sweetie Belle.

Thorax sighed in relief, though his expression was still troubled. Scootaloo noticed, and realized what he must be thinking. She figured that a good first step would be to cheer him up a little.

“Hey, Thorax, don’t worry. Everything is going to be fine, and I’m not just talking about the classroom. Nopony is blaming you for becoming a male royal. We all know this isn’t your fault,” she reassured.

Thorax gave a ghost of a smile.

“Yeah! I mean, I’m sure you never asked for this, Thorax. Your mom was just a pig head. Er… no offence?” said Sweetie Belle.

Thorax actually chuckled at that.

“I’d... use a stronger word to describe her, so yeah, none taken,” said Thorax with a shrug.

“Alright, we still have about an hour until we need to head to school, so here’s what we’re going to do…” said Scootaloo.

“Good morning class! Is everypony ready to start the new school year?” asked Cheerilee with a smile.

She was meet with polite nods and cheers, though even she could tell how half-hearted they were. You don’t have to teach for long to know that the first day of school was always one of the hardest to keep your students engaged.

“Now, before we get started, I’d like you all to meet our new student. Come up and introduce yourself, Crystal Hoof,” said Cheerilee.

Thorax, who had taken a seat at the back of the room, took a nervous gulp as he stood up.

“Um… OK…” he mumbled.

Scootaloo watched as Thorax nervously made his way to the front of the classroom. The plan was for the three of them to first pretend they didn’t know Thorax so they could avoid some awkward and potentially dangerous questions. All she could do was give him a nod of confidence as he passed her.

Why do teachers always insist on doing this? Everypony knows the real introduction takes place during recess, commented Poppy.

It’s traditional, and gives the other students time to prepare their questions, answered Blue Monarch.

Ten bits says he blows it, said Twitch.

Scootaloo toned her family out. Not for the first time, she really wished they all had something better to do than play peanut gallery.

Thorax reached Cheerilee’s desk, and turned to face the crowd. This was the first time a (seemingly) crystal pony had visited town, and everypony was watching to see what this strange new pony would say. He was clearly nervous, but Scootaloo and the girls had recommended he make no effort to hide this. It would make it easier for him to focus on keeping his story together, and would inform the student body that he would need some time before he found his circle to join.

The school hierarchy was serious business after all.

“Er… hello everypony. My name’s Crystal Hoof. I’m going to school here as part of an exchange program with the Crystal Empire. And… um… I hope I can make some friends while I’m here,” said Thorax in a quiet, nervous tone.

Scootaloo heard giggles from a certain duo, but ignored them and gave Thorax another nod. So far, so good.

“I’m certain you will, Crystal Hoof. You can go back to your seat now,” said Cheerilee with a smile.

With a sigh of relief, Thorax made his way back to his chair. Ponies watched him for a moment, before turning to excitedly chat with their friends about this new development.

Most of them did, at least.

“So, you’re a crystal pony, huh?” asked Diamond Tiara as Thorax passed her desk.

Thorax nearly jumped and turned to face the filly.

“Uh… yeah?” he asked, not sure where this was going.

“You’re certainly shiny enough. Does that mean your head’s full of nothing but crystal too?” Diamond asked with a sneer.

Scootaloo fought the urge to groan. Diamond wasn't even waiting till recess to start tormenting him. Good thing this was one possibility they’d prepared for.

“Well, technically yes. Crystal ponies’ entire bodies are made of a bio-mineral substance that’s similar to crystal, including their brains,” interrupted Sweetie Belle.

Diamond Tiara turned toward the interruption with a glare.

“Nopony asked you, book worm,” she growled.

Thorax saw his opportunity and quickly slipped back to his own desk. When Diamond Tiara turned back and noticed this, she gave Sweetie Belle another glare before turning away with a huff.

Sweetie Belle gave Thorax a quick smile. He returned it with a look of gratitude. Sweetie Belle’s distraction had worked. The possible bullying was avoided, and nopony had any reason to suspect that the CMC had any connections to this strange pony.

Team Changeling 1: Team Diamond 0.

Cheerilee cleared her throat to bring the class’s attention back to her.

“Alright then. Now, we’re going to be following a different schedule this year. Instead of starting with math, we’re going to try having grammar class as our first period…”

The remaining first half of the school day passed without incident. Well, regarding Thorax at least.

You really should start taking better notes, Scootaloo. You know you’re not allowed to use the hivemind to cheat, said Uno.

It’s the first day of school. She’s just giving us a refresher on what we learned last year, argued Scootaloo.

And you remember everything you learned perfectly? challenged Dove.

As a matter of fact, yes. You want to test me? asked Scootaloo.

Ok, what’s twelve times thirteen? asked Twitch.

Scootaloo resisted the urge to gag. She hated math. Still, this problem didn’t seem too bad. It was really close to the range of those catchy songs that had helped her with her times tables.

Alright, twelve times twelve is one hundred and forty-four. Add another twelve... one hundred... fifty… six, she deducted.

Correct! Too bad while you were solving that you missed what the teacher was saying during history class, said Twitch with a cackle.

It took every shred of willpower Scootaloo had to keep from facehoofing.

Would somepony kindly buck Twitch in the face for me? she asked.

Gladly, said Butter.

Letting out a sigh under her breath, Scootaloo grudgingly turned her attention back to the lesson.

“Alright, now, can anypony tell me why Manehattan was built on the coast?” asked Cheerilee.

To Scootaloo’s surprise, Thorax raised a hoof.

“It was originally a small port town built to handle trade with the griffons,” he answered.

“That’s correct, Crystal Hoof,” said Cheerilee with a smile.

Wait… I thought he didn’t have any formal education,” noted Scootaloo.

He didn’t. Cheerilee said that earlier this lesson. He’s just taking better notes than some other changelings in disguise, said Blue Monarch in a tone that made Scootaloo cringe.

Realizing what her mom was really saying, Scootaloo grumbled and picked up her quill. She also tuned out her siblings’ giggles.

They’d see who was laughing when school started in the hive. It was just so delightful being in a classroom with hundreds of your cousins and siblings.

Recess finally arrived, and with it the inevitable evaluation of the new kid. But it wasn’t just about Thorax himself. Everypony wanted to talk with a pony from the Crystal Empire and press him for information about the strange kingdom to the north.

This wasn’t the hard part. They had changelings in the Crystal Empire ready to forward him information. No, the hard part was watching Thorax wilt under the gaze of the entire student body and trying not to pull the poor guy into a hug. Seriously, it was painful.

“So, you're from the Crystal Empire, huh?” asked Snails.

“Uh… yeah,” said Thorax with a nervous smile.

“What’s it like over there?” asked Pipsqueak.

“There’s.. Uh… a lot of crystals. And… um… a really big castle you can see from anywhere in the Empire,” said Thorax.

OK… which hive was in charge of gathering information from the Crystal Empire again? asked Dove.

I think it was the Las Pegasus hive. You know how lazy those guys are, said Uno.

Scootaloo sighed. So much for those contacts up north. She figured it was time for a strategically placed subject change. She glanced at Apple Bloom and gave her a nod.

“So, why did you come all the way out here anyway?” asked Rumble.

“Well... the main reason for the whole… transfer student… thing is because we’re trying to catch up on all the... stuff we missed while… you know… we were cursed and... stuff…” said Thorax as he started sweating bullets.

There were a few snickers from certain ponies, but most of the class just looked sorry for him. Scootaloo had to admit, that was a clever way to discourage questions. At any rate, this was Apple Bloom’s cue.

“OK, so… what do ya think of Ponyville?” asked Apple Bloom.

“I… uh… haven't really had the chance to look around yet. I only got here this morning,” said Thorax.

“Really? Well then, we gotta take you to Sugarcube Corner after school,” said Snips.

“And the bowling alley,” said Ruby Pinch.

“And the arcade,” added Button Mash.

Everypony rolled their eyes at Button’s predictable idea.

“How about we let him decide what he wants to do?” suggested Dinky.

“Yeah. What do you like to do for fun, Crystal Hoof? Sports? Music? Video Games?” asked Rumble.

“Well… uh… I like to sing from time to time…” mumbled Thorax.

Well, it wasn’t like he was allowed to do much else when he was busy scrubbing the floors all day, commented Beetle.

“Well, duh. Everypony likes to sing from time to time. That’s why we all do it,” said Diamond Tiara with a roll of her eyes.

“Heartsongs don’t count, Diamond,” said Silver Spoon in an annoyed tone.

“Says who?” challenged Diamond.

There were several groans from the crowd.

“Hey, can you two not argue about that again right now?” chided Dinky.

“Yeah, and we’re not done with Crystal Hoof yet,” said Rumble.

Diamond and Silver looked ready to object, but seeing as the entire class was against them they decided to put their long-running debate aside.

“OK, so anything else besides singing?” asked Ruby Pinch.

Thorax jumped as he realized the spotlight was back on him. This did not help him speak clearly.

“Uh… I… collect rocks? I mean, special rocks. Ones that are... shiny and… stuff…” he mumbled.

The ponies in the crowd shared awkward looks.

“Uh, you never got to do anything exciting at home, did you?” asked Snips with a sad look.

“Not really…” mumbled Thorax as he rubbed his hoof into the dirt.

OK, this was getting depressing again. Time for another distraction.

“Well, I say we fix that. Anypony up for a game of tag?” suggested Sweetie Belle.

There were several cheers in agreement as somepony grabbed a stick to help decide who was it. Several ponies, Diamond Tiara and Sliver Spoon included, decided that this was a good time to walk away and do something else during their recess.

Thorax let out a sigh of relief, though he still look pretty nervous. Scootaloo counted this as a victory. Crystal Hoof was clearly going to be a shy pony for a while, and by now most of the class knew not to press him too hard. They wouldn’t have to worry about him getting overwhelmed by questions anytime soon.

“You’re mine, Crystal Hoof!” cried Rumble as he chased the disguised changeling.

While the game of tag itself wasn’t particularly noteworthy, Scootaloo noticed something interesting about Thorax.

When they had started, he had been really confused, even if it was clear the hivemind was feeding him instructions on how to play. He seemed really uncertain about which way to run, tripped fairly often, and ended up tagged quite a few times.

But after a few minutes, he started getting into it. He began to recognize how each pony reacted when they were being chased and when they were doing the chasing. He began to copy a few techniques on how to outmaneuver the other ponies. Very soon it was hard to tell that this was Thorax’s first time playing tag, let alone any outdoor game.

Now, learning how to play tag isn’t all the impressive as there really isn’t much to it, especially considering this was a full grown changeling disguised as a colt. But as Scootaloo watched him expertly faked out Rumble and escape being tagged, she realized that there was something special about Thorax:

The guy was a very fast learner.

Wow. I’m impressed. Even for an adult, that’s a tricky dodge to pull off, she noted.

Well, yeah. The guy’s a royal changeling. Of course he’s going to be smart, said Goose.

I don’t think that has anything to do with it, Goose, grumbled Lynx.

Scootaloo’s right. It took me ages to learn how to pull that one off, added Uno.

Indeed. It’s part of the reason we figured he’d be perfect as an ambassador. He demonstrated a surprising amount of understanding of changeling law in a very short time, explained Blue Monarch.

So… if he stayed with some rulers long enough he could have learned how to rule his own hive? Considered Dove.

Possibly, though that would likely take months or even years of observation for him to reach that point. We’re planning on going public well before then, so we agreed that a more efficient method of education was needed, said Blue Monarch.

Fair enough. Though would it have killed you to arrange this whole thing sooner? Asked Scootaloo.

Blue Monarch gave a cough.

Well, I didn’t have a hoof directly in the decision, so I really can’t comment on that, admitted Blue Monarch.

Scootaloo just rolled her eyes and started running as Rumble turned his attention towards her.

Scootaloo let out a sigh of relief as the day ended. School was always a miserable experience for her. It wasn’t that she was a bad student. She managed to get passing grades every year. She just struggled learning in the classroom.

Which is why you should take notes and study at home, said Dove in a snarky tone.

Shut it, grumbled Scootaloo as she packed up her saddle bags.

Thorax, meanwhile, had already left. He had a lot to do today as he wasn’t lying about only arriving in town that morning. He hadn’t even moved in yet. Scootaloo didn’t know where exactly he was staying, but apparently another hive had spent all day arranging a home for him and planting “parents” to look after him.

Scootaloo finished packing, got up, and headed out the door to find her friends waiting for her. They turned together and started making their way to the clubhouse.

“That was a lot easier than I thought it would be,” said Sweetie Belle once they were far enough from everypony else.

“Yeah. Thor… Ah mean Crystal Hoof seemed to be gettin’ more and more relaxed as the day went on,” noted Apple Bloom.

“Well, we still have a ways to go. It’s only a matter of time before Diamond Tiara starts teasing him about something or other, so we better be ready,” Scootaloo pointed out.

“Yeah, but I think we’ll be able to handle that. That said, what about us? Do we find out where he lives and spend some time with him?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo sighed. She honestly wasn't sure what to make of Thorax. Sure, he seemed nice and could probably use a friend, but were the three of them really the best choice? He probably wouldn’t want to go crusading with them. Plus, it wasn’t like he was going to be staying for long. Once he learned what he needed he was going to be moving to Canterlot.

“I dunno. I mean, I’d like to be friends with him, but he’s an adult. He probably has to do a bunch of adult things after school, and wouldn't want to hang out with a bunch of fillies. Still, at the very least I think we should be friendly, if not outright friends. I say, if he decides he wants to spend time with us, we’ll let him,” said Scootaloo.

“Well, that goes without sayin’. Especially if we’re goin’ to be keepin’ an eye out for him as long as he’s here,” said Apple Bloom.

“Yeah, that’s true. Still, if we are going to be keeping an eye on him, maybe we should try and get to know him a little better?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well, duh. The plan was to hide the fact that we already knew him so we wouldn’t have to come up with some crazy story about how we met a crystal pony that had never been seen in town before. Now that the first day’s over, we can hang out with him during recess no problem,” said Scootaloo with a wave of her hoof.

“I wasn’t talking about that. I meant spending an afternoon or something hanging out with him when he has the time,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Well… I guess if the opportunity presents itself we can. But yeah, he’s going to be pretty busy outside of school,” said Scootaloo.

“Speakin’ of bein’ busy, you girls wanna get a head start on our homework?” asked Apple Bloom with a smile.

Scootaloo turned and looked at Apple Bloom as if she had come back from the dead, metaphorically speaking.

“Uh… Apple Bloom? It’s the first day of school. What homework?” asked Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle started giggling. Scootaloo looked between them in confusion.

“Did I miss something?” asked Scootaloo.

The two fillies giggled harder.

Sensing a prank being pulled at her expense, Scootaloo looked around for some kind of clue. She noticed a small flash of pink from a nearby bush.

Was Pinkie up to something or…

“Wait a minute,” said Scootaloo as she turned back to Apple Bloom.

That’s when she noticed that her friend’s eyes were purple. She immediately facehooved for missing such an obvious tell.

“Ugh… Thorax! I can’t believe I didn’t notice sooner!” she groaned as her friend and the changeling disguised as her friend started laughing.

“Sorry, Scootaloo. Apple Bloom figured it’d be a nice and safe chance to practice my acting skills when you weren’t expecting it,” said Thorax with a chuckle.

Scootaloo sighed. Still, she had to admit she was once again impressed. Thorax really was a fast learner.

“And yeah, I have some stuff I need to do today, but I wouldn’t mind hanging out with you girls for a bit when we have the time,” said Thorax.

“Alright, alright. You got me. We’ll figure out when we’ll do that later. Now let’s get you two switched back before somepony notices something off,” said Scootaloo with a shake of her head.

Thorax nodded and made his way to the bush Apple Bloom was hiding in.

You do realize you’re going to be teased about this relentlessly for some time, right? asked Twitch.

Scootaloo let out a sigh. Yes, she did.

Author's Note

OK, is the changeling drama over now? Can I bring Thorax into this without causing a flame war? And most importantly, why the crap is there only one pic of king Thorax without the moose horns, and it's because of Rule 63?

There's nothing wrong with that, but weren't the horns the biggest complaint about his new design? I though the writers were throwing the fans a bone during the 7th season opener by poking fun at the horns as well.

And yes, this is my head canon on why Thorax was made king of the changelings. He spent so much time with the rulers of the Crystal Empire that he picked up a few things. Somehow.

Chapter 12: Mashing Buttons

The Ponyville Arcade. An adult might wonder why in Equestria a small town like Ponyville would have an arcade when video games were a luxury that many large cities had trouble getting their hooves on. Most kids, however, didn’t care. They were too busy tossing their bits at the machines.

“Come on… come on…” mumbled Scootaloo as she frantically moved the joystick. On screen, Pacmare narrowly avoided being cornered.

“Uh… Scootaloo?” asked Thorax.

“Not now!” replied Scootaloo, not even turning away from the screen.

“Forget it, Crystal Hoof. When Scootaloo gets in the zone, she ain’t comin’ out,” said Apple Bloom with a roll of her eyes.

“Yeah. How about the two of us show you around instead?” suggested Sweetie Belle.

Thorax let out a sigh, but nodded in agreement.

“OK. She does seem to be a bit busy right now. I guess these video game things are really fun, huh?” asked Thorax.

“Well, it depends on who’s playin’ what. It’s like books, ya know? Different ponies go for different games,” said Apple Bloom.

“Yeah. Why don’t we let you try a few and see what you like?” suggested Sweetie Belle.

“I guess. I don’t think I’ll be any good at them, though,” said Thorax with a sigh.

“Everypony’s a noob at some point, Crystal. And it doesn’t matter how good you are as long as you’re having fun,” said Sweetie Belle with a smile.

“Right… fun. Not very good at that yet either,” mumbled Thorax.

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes again and started pushing Thorax towards an open Frogger game.

“Yeah, yeah. We know. Now stop makin’ excuses and start playin’,” said Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle shook her head. Every time they dragged Thorax into something new, the disguised changeling acted like a helpless foal. It was kind of sad just how little the guy knew about himself. Still, he was getting better about it. They didn’t have to spend an hour convincing him to participate this time.

As Sweetie Belle followed after them, however, she noticed a familiar repeating phrase in the air.

Hadouken! Hadouken! Hadouken!

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. Sounded like somepony was projectile spamming in Street Fighter again.

Hadouken! Hadouken! Hadou- KO!

“Gah! Of course you won, spammer!” cried one of the players.

“Well, maybe if you stopped jumping away from me I wouldn’t have to!” argued the other pony.

Sweetie Belle let out a soft groan and continued on her way as the two ponies started yelling at each other. Unfortunately, she wasn’t watching where she was going and bumped into Button Mash.

“Oof! Oh, sorry Button. I was a little distracted,” apologized Sweetie Belle.

Button Mash got up and brushed himself off. It wasn’t at all surprising the see him at the arcade. Especially since his dad was the owner.

“It’s OK. I was distracted too. There’s always somepony arguing over Street Fighter, huh?” said Button as he pointed toward the now somewhat loud disagreement.

“Yeah. You’d think it’d be easier to tone it out by now or something,” said Sweetie Belle with shrug.

“Yeah, well, you know how it is sometimes. So... uh... you wanna show those ponies how to really play?” suggested Button Mash.

Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow.

“Button, you know I stink at fighting games. I barely know how to do the special moves, let alone pull off a combo. Besides, me and the girls are kind of busy showing Crystal Hoof around right now. Maybe some other time,” said Sweetie Belle with a shake of her head.

“Aw, come on, Sweetie Belle. I’ve been trying to find somepony to fight me for almost ten minutes now! One quick round? Please?” asked Button.

Sweetie Belle sighed. Button Mash was a decent enough colt, but he could be so pushy sometimes.

“Look, Button. I’d love to play with you but...” started Sweetie Belle.

“Tell you what, I’ll buy you an ice cream at Sugarcube Corner if you play with me. How about that?” suggested Button Mash.

Sweetie Belle blinked in surprise.

“Wait, are you bribing me to play Street Fighter with you?” she asked in disbelief.

Button Mash opened his mouth, then closed it with a blush.

“Uh… no? I’m just… er… betting an ice cream cone that I can beat you at Street Fighter. Yeah. It’s just a bet. Though, if you can’t beat me you don’t have to buy me an ice cream. I mean, yeah, I am a lot better at Street Fighter than you, so that wouldn’t be very fair,” said Button Mash in a nervous tone.

Sweetie Belle glanced towards Thorax and Apple Bloom, where Thorax was just starting his first game. They seemed to be doing fine without her. And while Button Mash was good at Street Fighter, he wasn’t that good. She might be able to win. The chance of free ice cream was really tempting.

“Oh alright. I guess a quick round or two won’t hurt,” admitted Sweetie Belle with a shrug.

“Yes! Come on, let’s go before somepony else gets in front of us!” exclaimed Button before dashing off.

With a sigh Sweetie Belle followed him to an open Street Fighter machine.

Shame I can’t let Sweetie Bot help. I bet a robot would be awesome at video games, she thought to herself.

Sweetie Belle wasn’t kidding when she said she was bad at fighting games. But if there’s one inevitable truth about fighting games, it’s that even random button mashing can sometimes pull off a lucky win.

And unfortunately for Button Mash, he’d walked past Murphy Law on the way to the arcade.

KO!

“Oh, come on! Look at your health! I was so close!” cried Button Mash as he watched his character fall to the ground in slow motion.

Sweetie Belle had to fight the urge to give him an evil smirk. Lucky or not, she felt quite proud of herself for that win.

“Close doesn’t cut it in Street Fighter, Button Mash. Don’t you go being a poor sport now,” she teased.

Button Mash sighed.

“Yeah, you’re right. Good game, Sweetie Belle. I owe you an ice cream. Wanna meet up at Sugarcube corner in… say… half an hour or so?” asked Button Mash.

“Sounds good to me. See you then,” said Sweetie Belle as she turned and headed towards her friends.

It took Sweetie Belle about twenty seconds to realize what she’d done.

“Wait a minute. I agreed to go out for ice cream with a colt. Did… did I just agree to go on a date?!” she exclaimed.

Some time later, The CMC plus Thorax were holding an emergency meeting at the Carousel Boutique. Or, at least they were supposed to be having one. Mostly it was just Sweetie Belle panicking while everyone else awkwardly watched.

“Button Mash asked me on a date?! Button Mash?! With me?! Why would he do that?! Has he had a crush on me forever and I never noticed?!” cried Sweetie Belle.

“Uh… Sweetie Belle?” asked Apple Bloom.

“I mean, I don’t know a thing about love! It can’t work like it does in movies and books, can it?! Or does it?! I’ve never paid any attention to him! Will I fall in love the moment I meet his eyes?!” cried Sweetie Belle.

“Sweetie Belle…” said Scootaloo.

“What if it’s destiny?! What if we’re meant for each other and I just never realized it?! Have I been too busy to recognize my soul mate?! Are we supposed to get married someday or something?!” exclaimed Sweetie Belle.

Thorax just gave an awkward cough. He was so confused.

“But if we are going to get married, then sooner or later we’re going to have kids! But I’m a robot! Do robot babies exist? Can I even have a baby?!” cried Sweetie Belle.

Thump!

Everyone turned in surprise to see Rarity, collapsed on the floor in the doorway. Apparently, she’d overheard that last sentence.

“Oh. Uh… Oops?” mumbled Sweetie Belle with a blush.

Apple Bloom let out a sigh.

“Ah got this. Applejack told me where Rarity keeps her smellin’ salts,” she mumbled as she headed for the kitchen.

Seeing her opportunity, Scootaloo trotted up to Sweetie Belle and put a comforting hoof on her shoulder.

“OK, three things: First of all, you’re way too young to be thinking about that stuff. Trust me, I’m part of a hivemind with a bunch of adults and Twitch. I would know,” said Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle blushed harder, but nodded in agreement. Scootaloo had a point there.

“Second, he just invited you out for ice cream because of a bet. Lots of ponies eat ice cream together because they want to split the bill, or something just as simple. Just because you’re a filly and he’s a colt doesn’t automatically make you two eating together a date,” continued Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle took a deep breath and again nodded in agreement. That was also a good point.

“And third, this is Button Mash we’re talking about here. The guy barely sees past his Joyboy. He’s probably even more oblivious about romance than you are. In fact, I bet he’s going to spend more time playing his game and eating ice cream than acknowledging you exist,” finished Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle let out a sigh as the last of her panic faded. Scootaloo’s argument seemed pretty sound. Really, why in Equestria would Button Mash of all ponies be looking for a special somepony?

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’m just panicking over something silly again,” she mumbled.

“Yeah, you are. Now hurry up and get to Sugarcube Corner before Button Mash gets tired of waiting for you,” said Scootaloo as she gently pushed Sweetie Belle towards the door.

Sweetie Belle shook her head, but hardened her resolve. Scootaloo was right. This wasn’t a date, it was just going out for some ice cream. Ice cream she won fair and square and fully intended to enjoy. Feeling much calmer now, Sweetie Belle headed out. But as she stepped over Rarity, she overheard Thorax asking something.

“Um... Are pony relationships usually this... awkward?” he asked.

“That’s a question for the ages, Thorax,” replied Scootaloo.

Sugarcube Corner was full of ponies, but not to the point it was crowded. Sweetie Belle had no trouble spotting Button Mash at a table, playing on his Joyboy.

Sweetie Belle took another deep breath and tried to keep calm.

It’s not a date, Sweetie Belle. You’re just coming in to eat your ice cream, and maybe make some small talk if Button ever looks up from his game... yeah, that’s probably not going to happen, Sweetie Belle thought with a chuckle.

Seeing no point in delaying, Sweetie Belle trotted over and hopped onto a chair.

“Hey, Button Mash,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Huh? Oh, hey Sweetie belle. Can you give me a second? I’m almost done with this level,” said Button before turning back to his game.

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. She was worried about falling in love with this colt?

But while Button was finishing his game, Pinkie Pie appeared out of nowhere.

“Alright, what’ll it be, you two?” she asked with a smile.

“Can I have a chocolate ice cream with peanuts?” said Button without looking up.

“I’ll have vanilla with sprinkles, please,” said Sweetie Belle.

Pinkie Pie pulled two already finished ice cream bowls out from behind her.

“Here you go! And thanks for paying in advance, Button!” said Pinkie Pie before zooming off.

Sweetie Belle turned towards Button Mash in surprise.

“You already paid?” she asked.

“There’s a two for one ice cream special with free toppings. Already knew what it was going to cost,” replied Button Mash with a shrug as he put down his Joyboy.

“Fair enough,” answered Sweetie Belle as she grabbed her spoon.

The two just sat there for a few minutes, quiety eating their ice cream. It was somewhat awkward, but nowhere near as awkward as Sweetie Belle had feared. In fact, several times Button turned towards her as if he was going to say something, but then lost his nerve.

Does he want to start talking with me? Huh, I never would have guessed Button Mash of all ponies was shy, wondered Sweetie Belle.

Finally, Button Mash took a deep and gave Sweetie Belle a determined look.

“So... uh... what’s new with you, Sweetie Belle?” asked Button Mash.

Sweetie Belle blinked in surprise. He actually managed to start a conversation with her. Well, Rarity hadn’t raised her to ignore somepony when they were talking, but…

Oh, just finding out more about my robot self, seeing what other cool stuff I can do, you know how it is. Just the other day I found this fancy new translation program that makes me fluent in other languages. Yep, that's definitely something I’d be comfortable talking about in public like this. Why don’t I just turn it on and scream I’m a robot in Fancy at the top of my mechanical lungs while I’m at it? thought Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle internally sighed.

Come on now, Sweetie Belle. That’s not fair to Button Mash. That’s not the only thing going on with your life right now, she chided herself.

“Well, I started taking music lessons recently. You know Octavia and Vinyl Scratch? I helped them out a few weeks ago, and they've been teaching me as a sign of thanks,” said Sweetie Belle.

To her surprise, Button actually got excited.

“You’re taking music lessons from DJ Pon-3? That’s awesome! You must sound amazing. What instrument do you play?” asked Button Mash.

Sweetie Belle felt a blush creep onto her cheeks.

“Oh, I don’t play. I sing. I’m really not all that good, but I am learning,” she said.

“Yeah, but DJ Pon-3 wouldn’t offer to teach you in the first place if you didn’t have what it takes. You do know just how famous she is, right?” asked Button Mash.

“Not really. I’m not into dubstep all that much,” admitted Sweetie Belle with a shrug.

“Well, me neither, but I met another DJ some time ago so I picked up a thing or two from him. His name was Nylon Tights, I think,” said Button Mash.

“Oh? Well, what kind of music do you like then?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Mostly pop music and jazz, but I like a lot of video game music too. There’s just something neat about all the beeps and boops, ya know?” answered Button Mash.

Sweetie Belle giggled.

“Yeah, well, that’s not very surprising. You’re the Ponyville gamer colt, after all,” she pointed out.

Button Mash blushed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Yeah… I guess I am, huh? I never really thought about it like that. I mean, lots of ponies play video games, and some ponies are better than me at them, so I never really thought I was the video game guy,” admitted Button Mash.

Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow.

“Button, you’re the only pony in town with a Joyboy. You know how expensive those things are,” she pointed out.

“That’s only because my dad owns the arcade, which is where you would buy a Joyboy in the first place,” countered Button.

“Oh. Yeah, that’s true,” admitted Sweetie Belle.

Button Mash let out a sigh.

“Well, I guess you have a point, though. I mean, my granddad did kind of invent video games, so…” started Button Mash.

If Sweetie Belle had taken a spoonful of ice cream right that moment, she’d probably have spat it all over the table.

“Wait, your grandfather invented video games?!” asked Sweetie Belle in disbelief.

Button Mash blinked in surprise at being interrupted.

“Well, sort of. You know how unicorns can use magic to makes pictures in the air and stuff?” asked Button.

“Yeah. Projection is supposed to be an easy spell to learn, though tough to get really good at,” answered Sweetie Belle.

“OK, and then there’s enchanted gems, which use magic matrix… thingies to store spells in the gemstones. You know?” said Button.

“Yes, but enchanted gems have been around for thousands of years, and gem projections have been around for almost as long,” countered Sweetie Belle.

Button Mash looked at her in surprise.

“Wow. I was just going to say that. You must be really smart if you already know that, Sweetie Belle,” said Button Mash with a smile.

“Oh. Uh… I just read it in a book once. Thank you, though,” said Sweetie Belle with a blush.

“So yeah, stuff like that’s been around for forever. Granddad Ping Pong didn’t come up with any of that. What he did come up with was the idea of connecting enchanted gems to buttons that would make the projection inter… inter…” Button paused as he tried to find the right word.

“Interactive?” suggested Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah, that’s it. Interactive. Grandad was an earth pony, so he had to hire a unicorn to make the gem, but the game itself and the machine it was connected to? He built that. So yeah, my granddad kind of invented video games,” finished Button Mash.

“Huh. That’s really interesting, Button Mash,” said Sweetie Belle.

Now, Sweetie Belle had never cared about video games enough to wonder about where they came from, but she had to admit it was fascinating to hear about. Much like how the history of anything was for her, really. And it turned out the local gamer pony had direct ties to the history of his hobby.

Hold on...

“Wait, is that why you’re so into video games? Are you planning to make games yourself when you grow up?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Button Mash rubbed the back of his head nervously.

“Maybe? I really don’t know. I don’t have my cutie mark yet. My granddad invented video games, and my dad’s still making them so... Oh, wait. Sorry, but my dad kind of made me promise not to talk about his work too much. Something about ‘copy writing,’ or whatever the hay he said,” admitted Button.

For some reason that phrase sent a shiver down Sweetie Belle’s spine. It was as if those words could end all life in Equestria in an instant. Clearly, it must be a lawyer thing. Sweetie Belle had long since had enough of that garbage.

“But yeah. My dad actually designed a lot of the games at the arcade. It’s kind of why Ponyville even has an arcade,” continued Button Mash.

“I see,” said Sweetie Belle with a nod.

The two fell back into silence, though it felt much less awkward now. That’s when Sweetie Belle noticed that they had both finished their ice creams a while ago.

Huh. I guess Button Mash can be fun to talk to when he actually talks, thought Sweetie Belle.

That thought didn’t sound right in her head.

Wait, when did I get so critical of him? Nopony ever hangs out with Button outside of the arcade, so how would anypony know what’s he’s like? She wondered.

And that thought sounded even worse.

Come to think of it, does Button have any friends? Yeah, we all look to him when we want some advice on video games, but that hardly counts, thought Sweetie Belle.

Thinking back to the classroom, Sweetie Belle realized that Button didn’t belong to any circle of friends. He just sat by himself, playing his Joyboy.

Aw geez, now I feel sorry for him. But he always seems so upbeat and happy. Is he lonely and only trying to hide it? she wondered.

“Uh, Sweetie Belle? Are you OK? You’re giving me a really weird look,” asked Button Mash.

Sweetie Belle blinked in surprise.

“Oh, sorry, Button. I was just lost in thought,” said Sweetie Belle with a shake of her head.

Still, maybe I should try to spend some time with him. It never hurts to have a new friend, thought Sweetie Belle.

“Hey, Button, since we’re both done with our ice cream, do you wanna go back to the arcade?” suggested Sweetie Belle.

The day passed quickly, as it usually does when playing video games. And as time went on, Sweetie Belle began to notice something. Button Mash was loud, pushy, and could get overly excited very quickly, but he was a nice guy. Sweetie Belle was genuinely enjoying spending time with him.

“OK, the trick is to remember to use your ears as much as your eyes. You can’t see the lasers coming towards you when you’re behind cover, so you gotta listen for the shots, and remember how far the bad guys are standing,” explained Button Mash.

Sweetie Belle nodded as she turned her toy laser gun back towards the screen.

Action!

Sweetie Belle was even worse at shooting games than fighters, but she had to admit it was really satisfying to pull that plastic trigger.

Pew! Pew!

She pointed the gun away from the screen, causing her character to duck behind cover.

“OK, I know this game is based on science fiction, but these weapons are kind of ridiculous. A laser that turns ponies into babies? Who comes up with this stuff?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“I dunno. But it’s still really fun to play, and that’s what matters, right?” said Button.

“Yeah, that’s true. Still, I wish I wasn’t so bad at this,” said Sweetie Belle as her life bar took another hit.

Yeah. I bet Sweetie Bot would be better at this than me. Probably has a built in targeting system or something I could activate when I’m not… thought Sweetie Belle.

TARGETING SYSTEM ACTIVATED

Oh buck! Not now! cursed Sweetie Belle as lines and numbers began filling her vision.

Fortunately, she didn’t go full robot. Her eyes didn’t start glowing either. All it did was cause small lines to appear in her sight, tracking the motions of every enemy on the screen. And when she aimed the gun, it seemed to snap her forelegs right into position.

Pew! Pew!

“Nice shooting, Sweetie Belle!” cheered Button Mash.

Sweetie Belle turned towards Button, and her targeting system quickly cataloged him. Luckily, it just labeled him as friendly, and nothing else happened.

OK, as neat as this is, I’d better turn this off before anything else happens or Button Mash notices something’s wrong. Deactivate targeting system, thought Sweetie Belle.

Her vision returned to normal, and another mental switch became apparent in her mind.

TARGETING SYSTEM DEACTIVATED

Alright, finish the game now, worry about what this means later, thought Sweetie Belle as she turned back towards the game.

And to losing said game.

Or then again, I could have waited until I was done, Sweetie Belle mentally grumbled at the game over screen.

“Thanks for spending the day with me, Sweetie Belle. It was a lot of fun,” said Button Mash with a smile.

“Yeah, I had a great time too. See you around, Button Mash,” said Sweetie Belle with a wave.

I probably should try to make time for this again. He really is fun to hang out with, thought Sweetie Belle.

As Button Mash walked away, Sweetie Belle turned back towards the Boutique’s door and entered. She found her friends waiting for her with smug expressions on their faces.

“Well, well. Look who’s finally home. Where have you been all day?” said Scootaloo in a tone that suggested she already knew the answer.

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes.

“No Scootaloo, Button Mash is not my coltfriend now. I just realized that Button never hangs out with anypony, and figured I spend the day with him,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Who said anything about a coltfriend?” replied Scootaloo with a smirk.

“Yeah. Must have been some real good ‘hanin’ out’ for ya to forget we were supposed to be keepin’ an eye on Thorax. He was fine by the way, and discovered he’s a natural at Donkey Kong,” added Apple Bloom, also with a smirk.

Sweetie Belle was about to object, but the she had an cruel little idea and replied with a smirk of her own.

“Oh, I see how it is,” she said before turning on Sweetie Bot.

“ALL SYSTEMS ONLINE. SWEETIE BOT READY FOR INPUT,” declared Sweetie Belle.

Her friends looked at her in confusion.

“Sweetie Belle? What are you doing?” asked Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle flicked her newest mental switch.

“TARGETING SYSTEMS ACTIVATED,” announced Sweetie Belle.

“Wait, what?!” shrieked Apple Bloom as she jumped back in fear.

“THREATS DETECTED,” stated Sweetie Belle as she took a more aggressive stance.

“Uh… Sweetie Belle? You know we were just joking right? Right?!” asked Scootaloo in a terrified voice.

“TARGET ACQUIRED. FIRING,” stated Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo screamed and pulled each other into a hug at the sight of... Sweetie Belle sticking out her tongue.

“ENGAGING RASPBERRY: PFFFT,” said Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo’s jaws dropped.

“HIT CONFIRMED. TARGETS ARE EMOTIONALLY STRUCK. UNIT SWEETIE BOT WISHES TO REMIND ALL PRESENT THAT UNIT SWEETIE BOT IS NOT OUTFITTED WITH WEAPON SYSTEMS,” said Sweetie Belle, somehow sounding smug even with a monotone voice.

It took almost two whole minutes for either of her friends to speak.

“But… that… ugh, Sweetie Belle, that was uncalled for!” said Scootaloo.

“Ya almost gave me a heart attack, and mah heart ain’t even beatin’!” added Apple Bloom.

“UNIT SWEETIE BOT REGRET LEVELS AT 0%. RECOMMENDED ACTION: DO NOT SUGGEST STATUS: COLTFRIEND WITH UNIT: BUTTON MASH,” said Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo let out a sigh.

“Fine. We’re sorry for teasing you,” she said.

“Yeah, what she said,” added Apple Bloom.

“APOLOGY ACCEPTED. UNIT SWEETIE BOT APOLOGIZES FOR PREVIOUS AGGRESSIVE ACTION. SHUTTING DOWN COMPUTATION SYSTEMS,” announced Sweetie Belle.

As her vision returned to normal, Sweetie Belle noted once again that the headaches were getting less and less painful every time. She still wasn’t sure if this was a good thing, but it definitely made it easier for her to go full robot.

“So, was that just a joke, or do you really have a targeting system?” asked Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle turned towards her friend. Her targeting system was still online, but it only noted that Scootaloo was a friend. She quickly turned it off.

“I do. But I’m not sure why I have one when I don’t have anything to aim with,” answered Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom put a hoof under her chin.

“Well, that might not be true. We only checked for lasers and rockets and stuff. Maybe ya have somethin’ else that ya could use?” she suggested.

“Like what? A mini cannon or something just as crazy?” suggested Scootaloo.

“We checked that last week, Scootaloo. And it was your idea if I recall,” countered Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo blushed, but didn’t argue the point.

“OK, so maybe not a weapon. What’s somethin’ else ya would aim with?” asked Apple Bloom.

“A squirt gun, maybe?” suggested Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle did a quick check, and…

FLUID DISTRIBUTOR ACTIVATED

With a click, a panel on Sweetie Belle’s side opened up to reveal what looked like a garden hose attached to a metal arm. A moment later, there was another click as another panel opened on her other side, this one opening to some sort of funnel.

“Whoa,” said Apple Bloom with wide eyes.

“This is so cool! Hold on, let me get a glass of water and we’ll see what that thing can do,” said Scootaloo as she dash to the kitchen.

Sweetie Belle however, looked at the bits sticking out of her and sighed.

“Is something wrong Sweetie Belle?” asked Apple Bloom.

“This is the second weird thing we learned my body can do today. I’m getting tired of things popping out of my body that I didn’t know I had. Just how many of these gadgets do I have inside me, anyway?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Ah don’t know, Sweetie Belle. And Ah don’t think there’s anypony around that does,” Apple Bloom replied with a shrug.

“I know. And that’s why it bothers me. I wish I came with an instruction manual or something,” admitted Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow.

“Ya know, that sounded really weird. ‘Ah came with an instruction manual?’ Makes it sound like you’re just a toaster with legs,” Apple Bloom pointed out.

“I might be. It’s not like anyone can prove otherwise,” said Sweetie Belle with an uncertain look.

“Well, ya sure talk a lot for a toaster. Is every doohickey as smart as you, but you’re just the only one willin’ to show it? Why don’t ya start a conversation with mah lantern or blanket, get ‘em to come out of their shells?” suggested Apple Bloom with an eyeroll.

“You stole that from a movie, Apple Bloom,” accused Sweetie Belle in an unamused tone.

“So ya agree that it’s ridiculous to think that you're a toaster?” countered Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle thought about it for a moment before shaking her head and smiling.

“Yeah, you’re right. That’d be really silly. Though it wouldn’t surprise me if I do have some kind of toasting feature or something,” she said with a giggle.

“Well, we can worry about that later. For now, let’s test out that squirt gun,” said Scootaloo as she came back with a glass of water.

Sweetie Belle nodded in agreement. Small steps were the way to go.

Author's Note

Sorry shippers. The S. S. SweetieMash has not sailed these waters.

And I'll be very, very happy with anyone who gets the toaster reference.

Chapter 13: The One Where Scootaloo Messes Up

As Scootaloo had come to learn, there were three kinds of teachers: The personal, the polite, and the boring.

Personal teachers were the best. They took the time to get to know their students individually, and build their teaching methods around whatever helps everypony learn best. Rainbow Dash was one such teacher, as she took the time to learn how undisguised changelings fly so she would understand where Scootaloo was coming from. When she started coaching Scootaloo on flying as a pegasus, she knew exactly how to connect with the changeling.

Polite teachers were OK. They were open to new ideas and gave struggling students the help and attention they needed, but they also stuck to their teaching plan. And really, when someone has to teach a large classroom of kids all at the same time, it’s understandable why. This described Cheerilee perfectly, as she genuinely wanted everypony she taught to do well and learn, but she sometimes missed things going on in her own classroom.

And then there were the boring teachers. The ones who taught by the book, and that was it. It didn’t matter how effective this was or how engaging the students found it, they stuck to tradition. They taught in the exact same boring way their teachers had taught them. Not because such methods are better, but because that’s “just how it was done.”

Scootaloo had come to recognize that these boring teachers rarely care whether their students succeed or not. Well, at least the only boring teacher she had didn’t seem to care. And unlike Cheerilee, this teacher didn’t have the excuse of having to worry about a large classroom. He only taught Scootaloo in one on one sessions, and he still treated deviating from the lesson plan like it was utter blasphemy, regardless of how well Scootaloo could learn from it.

Needless to say, Scootaloo did not enjoy learning from this teacher.

“... which in turn is connected to the glandular system. This enables us to alternate our pheromones to those of the pony race we’re disguised as. While it’s true that ponies are mostly unaffected by them, extensive research has revealed that utilizing pheromones can have a small subconscious calming effect on ponies. This in turn results in a 6% increase in disguise efficiency…” rambled the teacher.

Scootaloo just sighed. How in Equestria did this guy manage to make shape-shifting magic sound boring? Why did this particular changeling have to be the one assigned to teach her? And why, oh why, did his lesson plan consist of hours of him talking, and only twenty minutes of actual practice?!

It was always so painful to sit through, but today was especially awful. While she was stuck sitting here as this old geezer slowly turned her brain to goo, history was being made back at the hive. The royal visitation was underway, and Scootaloo kept picking up bits of feedback.

That guy’s looking right at me! What should I do?!

Does this purple pony ever shut up?

What the buck is Goose wearing?!

Now, Scootaloo had known she’d be staying home when the visit happened, so she wasn’t too bothered by that. No, what bothered her was that her teacher, who was part of the same hive as her, was still teaching in the same boring repetitive way as if it were just another Monday. There was no way in Equestria the guy wasn’t picking up feedback himself. Did he even care that changelingkind was on the verge of entering a new age?

And could he at least acknowledge that disguise magic wasn’t going to be so important to get perfect anymore when changelings became public citizens? Was the geezer so out of touch that he couldn’t even acknowledge what he was teaching was going to be out of date soon?

“... which is why you must never let it falter. To let your disguise fail is to expose us all to the world. When you step outside that door, you hold the fate of our entire race in your hooves…” he continued.

Apparently, yes. Scootaloo pulled on her cheeks and held back a groan. Her patience was always worn thin during these sessions, but today she was just about ready to explode.

What the buck am I even doing here? This is such a waste of my time. Thorax could teach me better, and he’s still learning himself! I don’t know how much more of this I can take, thought Scootaloo.

“...So, as you can see, it is crucial that every aspect is harnessed. Next, let’s talk about the corrupted nature of our arcanic tissue,” continued the teacher.

That was the straw that broke Scootaloo’s back.

“What?! Again?! No, I am not sitting here listening to you repeat the exact same thing you’ve said every lesson for the past two years!” cried Scootaloo.

The teacher blinked in surprise. Meanwhile, all of Scootaloo’s siblings went silent.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did Scoots just mouth back the geezer? asked Uno.

Oh, this’ll be good. Where’s the popcorn? added Lynx.

Fight! Fight! Fight! cheered Twitch.

Finally, the teacher regained his wits and cleared his throat.

“Scootaloo, you know perfectly well that you cannot attempt disguise magic without understanding the theory behind…” he started.

Scootaloo didn’t let him finish.

“I do understand the theory! What do you think I am, two years old? We have a disguise academy for a reason! I wouldn’t be sitting here, listening to you, if I didn’t pass the basics first! Why are you trying to teach me things I already know?!” exclaimed Scootaloo.

The teacher put a hoof to his head and let out a sigh of disdain.

“Scootaloo, the academy exists for one purpose. It’s just like Magic Kindergarten or Flight School: it’s not about teaching a race’s unique abilities. It’s supposed to educate children on the dangers of improper magic use by any means necessary. Better for children to be traumatized by the knowledge of the dangers than let them miscast spells or fly recklessly and risk irreversible harm,” he explained.

“Yeah, and how do you think they traumatize foals in the first place? Nothing but ghost stories of changelings who made horrible mistakes? That was just lesson two. Lesson three was ‘Corruption, corruption, corruption.’ I know perfectly well how my arcanic tissue is corrupted and how that affects my magic, no thanks to you,” spat Scootaloo.

The teacher scoffed.

“Oh, and I suppose the lessons you learned as a foal are adequate? Your knowledge is simply too limited to understand the finer workings of changeling magic. You need to understand that our arcanic tissue is as fully developed as any pony’s but…” he started.

“But unlike ponies ours is improperly aligned with our nervous system, which causes it to be far more flexible, but also much more limited. It’s why we are able to utilize the magic of all three tribes, but are easily surpassed by all of them in terms of raw magical potential,” recited Scootaloo with an eyeroll.

The teacher once again blinked in surprise.

Huh. Guess Scootaloo is capable of learning a thing or two after all, commented Dove.

“Then there’s the tissue fissures in my chitin, the ‘burning’ membranes just underneath them, the five laws of focus, and blah blah blah. It’s the exact same thing I learned at the academy. The exact same thing you say again every bucking week. I get it. Now can we please stop wasting our time just sitting here repeating it and move on to the practical training? That’s the stuff that actually helps me learn,” said Scootaloo.

The teacher was lost for words for a moment, but then let out an indignant huff.

“Fine then. If you are so convinced of your capabilities, why don’t you demonstrate technique sixty-three?” he challenged.

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow.

“Sixty-three? The only reason I even know that one is because my older brother keeps teasing me about it. How the buck am I supposed to perform magic if you’ve never told me the spell matrix, or let me get any practice in first?” demanded Scootaloo.

“Everything is built upon the theory. When you fully understand it, there is nothing you cannot do. If you truly comprehend it as well as you claim, you shouldn’t need the spell matrix. If you can do it, then I will acknowledge that a change to the curriculum may be necessary. Otherwise, we shall continue with me teaching you the appropriate way. Now please form your disguise,” commanded the teacher.

Scootaloo’s anger grew even greater, but she wasn’t the only one.

What the buck? What kind of twisted logic is that?! cried Goose.

He wastes hours repeating himself just to demand something he never taught? What is with this guy? asked Beetle.

I take it back. You were right Scootaloo, that geezer is the worst teacher in the hive, said Bubbles.

Right, that’s it. If the teacher doesn’t want to play fair, then neither will the class. Pay attention Scoots, I’m sending you the spell matrix, said Uno.

Scootaloo closed her eyes as the information flowed from the hivemind into her. Of course, knowing the matrix didn’t mean she’d be able to pull it off, but at least now she had a clue what she was doing.

Thanks, Uno. Alright, here goes nothing, thought Scootaloo.

She focused her magic, and her body when up in green flames.

“And then what happened?” asked Sweetie Belle with a smile.

“Well, it turns out that I actually have a natural talent for technique sixty-three. I pulled it off on the first try,” said Scootaloo with pride.

The next morning, Scootaloo was sharing what had happened with her friends and Thorax on the way to school. She couldn’t keep the smile off her face, though she was still keeping an eye out to make sure they weren’t overheard.

“Wow. I’ve been hearing rumors about that guy for awhile now. I didn’t know teachers could be that stubborn. Did he really change the lesson plan?” asked Thorax.

“Well, it took a full three minutes for his brain to start working again. And when it did, the first thing he did was complain to my mom about my attitude. I didn’t get everything, but I did hear him stutter something about ‘a clear sign she’s being held back.’ Guess he wasn’t very popular with the adults in the hive either,” said Scootaloo with a shrug.

“Well, considerin’ what kind of teacher he was, Ah’m surprised she didn’t chew him out sooner,” commented Apple Bloom.

“Probably because of some political reason or something. Anyways, with the geezer gone I’m finally going to get some decent tutoring for my magic. Just you wait, I’m going to be pulling off awesome disguises in no time!” exclaimed Scootaloo.

“That’s great Scootaloo. By the way, what exactly is technique sixty-three?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo paused and looked at her friend with a coy smile. Thorax, on the other hoof, turned away with a blush.

“You know what, why don’t I just show you. Come on, let’s get behind that bush real quick,” said Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom shared an uncertain look, but their curiosity won the day.

“Alright. Just make sure ya don’t out yourself tryin’ to show off,” said Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes.

“Please, like I’d ever be that careless. Now get over here before somepony notices,” said Scootaloo.

After ducking behind the bush and checking one more time for possible witnesses, Scootaloo dropped her disguise.

“All right, now check this out,” said Scootaloo.

With a green flash, Scootaloo turned into a colt version of herself. A rather cute colt version of herself, at that.

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom blinked in surprise. They hadn’t seen that coming.

“Hey there, cutie. You look sweet enough to be made of chocolate,” said colt Scootaloo with a wink.

Sweetie Belle cringed.

“Wow, Scootaloo. Were you trying to use the cheesiest pickup line you could think of?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo gave her a cheeky smile.

“Of course. I figured I’d put my newfound charms to use and see if I could make you forget about your coltfriend,” said Scootaloo.

“He’s not my coltfriend,” objected Sweetie Belle with a scowl.

“Not yet at least. Though with me around, he’ll probably never be,” said Scootaloo in a very husky tone.

Sweetie Belle facehooved.

“Wow, Scoots. Ah’ve heard some mighty bad flirtin’ around town, but yours has to be the worst Ah’ve ever had the misfortune of hearin’. And ya sound more like a stallion that’s tryin’ too hard than somepony our age. Ya might look like a colt, but ya sure ain’t actin’ like one,” said Apple Bloom with a roll of her eyes.

“Really? Because it looks like my very presence is making your eyes spin. Admit it, you like what you see,” said Scootaloo while she flexed a muscle.

Apple Bloom facehooved.

Scootaloo chuckled. She was having way too much fun with this.

Unfortunately, while they were keeping an eye out for anyone coming near them, they forgot to look up. And at that moment, a certain unpopular lawyer flew right over them. He didn’t look down, but it was already too late for Scootaloo.

“Hey, Sweetie Belle! What are you doing back here… oh! Who are you?” asked Button Mash as he seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

Everyone jumped, and Scootaloo paled.

Uh oh. OK, just stay calm and talk your way out of it. You just have to make him leave for a second and you can change back. This shouldn’t be too hard, thought Scootaloo.

“Hello, everypony. My name’s Scooter. I’m Scootaloo’s cousin from Cloudsdale. My parents are working in Ponyville all day, so I’m going to be a guest student,” said Scootaloo from the front of the classroom.

Despite her best efforts, she’d been unable to talk Button Mash into leaving them long enough for her to change disguises. And since the school bell had rung with Button still with them, she now had to spend the whole day as a colt, trying to convince everypony that she totally wasn’t Scootaloo.

This was going to suck.

“Scootaloo’s cousin? Scootaloo never said she had a cousin,” nodded Rumble.

“You never talk about your cousin either, Rumble,” countered Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo gave Apple Bloom a thankful nod. She was so lucky she had friends to help her, no matter how badly she messed up.

“Yeah, that’s true. But if Scooter’s here, then where’s Scootaloo?” asked Rumble.

Scootaloo took a deep breath. Time to put her untrained skills at improv disguise making to the test. Hopefully it wouldn't be too pathetic.

“That’s part of why my parents are here in the first place. Something about tutoring, I think,” said Scootaloo.

“Really? Scootaloo never told me anything about that,” noted Cheerilee.

“Well, yeah. My parents aren’t the kind of ponies who like to stick to schedules. They just look at the list of ponies they need to teach, and rush off at whichever one catchers their eye. It’s kind of annoying really, having to go all over the place because they never have the time to find someone to watch over me,” said Scootaloo.

Cheerilee raised her eyebrow, but then shook her head and smiled.

“I see. Well, we’re all glad to have you with us today, Scooter. Please take a seat,” said Cheerilee.

Scootaloo let out a sigh of relief and slowly trotted to her desk. Most of the class was giving her funny looks, but nopony said anything.

Why me, grumbled Scootaloo.

Because you got careless. I understand that you were still glowing from your recent achievement, but you should have been more vigilant, chided Blue Monarch.

Scootaloo winced.

Please tell me I’m not in serious trouble for this, thought Scootaloo.

No, but I expect you to take full responsibility for this mess and to get out of it without incident, said Blue Monarch.

Scootaloo let out another sigh, but her confidence returned.

Alright, that shouldn’t be too hard. Everything's under control. I just have to pretend to be a guy for the rest of the school day. As long as I don’t draw too much attention to myself, this should be easy. Just blend into the background so nopony remembers Scooter ever existed, thought Scootaloo.

But then, as her gaze swept the room, she noticed that Dinky Hooves was watching her closely with an especially weird look on her face.

Wait, why is Dinky looking at me like that? Thought Scootaloo.

And then Scootaloo noticed the emotional cocktail Dinky was sending her way. Not only was it tasty, but it was somewhat filling. That could mean only one thing:

Puppy love.

Hey guys, check it out! Scootaloo’s having an internal breakdown!

Wow. She’s cursing up a storm. She’s sure to get grounded for this.

Well, she is getting hit on by another filly who doesn’t know she’s a filly...

I agree. This is definitely worth flipping out over, though I wish she wasn’t using such strong language.

Pfff. I heard worst. This really isn’t that- Whoa!

Gah!

Eep!

…

Ahem. Would someone be willing to tell me where my daughter heard such a… colorful expression?

Uh oh...

Someone’s gonna get in trouble!

Shut up, Twitch!

By some miracle, the rest of the school day passed without any major incident. Many a pony looked at Scootaloo funny, and Diamond Tiara looked ready to burst into laughter every time she turned towards her for some reason, but nopony seemed interested in talking with their one-time classmate. Scootaloo thought this was odd, but she definitely wasn't complaining.

Even so, this was hooves down the worst day of school in Scootaloo’s life. She was terrified that at any moment somepony would see right through her and realize how stupid her cover story was. It was kind of embarrassing how poor a job she had done, but it wasn’t like her tutor had helped her practice.

But even more stressful was Dinky. Every time Scootaloo glanced at her, Dinky turned away with a blush. Scootaloo could feel a date invitation coming ever closer like a storm in the distance. A date she was hesitant to turn down because doing so would probably make Dinky cry. And making Dinky cry was practically a death sentence. There was a reason Diamond Tiara never teased Dinky despite her lack of a cutie mark. A bubbly reason.

And if that wasn’t enough, Scootaloo learned something new about love: when it’s directed at you, it’s very hard to ignore. The love Dinky was emanating stood out to Scootaloo like a strong perfume, and it kept drawing her attention despite her best efforts. Luckily, Cheerilee seemed reluctant to call on Scooter to answer questions for some reason, so the distraction didn’t get her in trouble.

It also helped that Scootaloo managed to bail out of recess and its pitfalls by spending it in the bathroom. Shame that the stallion’s restroom itself was rather disappointing.

I knew you were full of crap when you told me the guy’s bathroom was painted awesome colors, Uno, thought Scootaloo.

It is at the hive, and you’re never going to be able to prove otherwise, countered Uno.

Finally, the day came to an end. Not even waiting for her friends, Scootaloo dashed for the door as soon as the bell rang in a desperate bid to escape.

She only got past a single row of desks.

“Oh, hello there, Scooter! My name’s Dinky. Where are you going in such a hurry?” asked Dinky as she blocked Scootaloo’s escape route. She had a very... smitten tone.

Scootaloo winched. So much for plan A. She really hoped plan B sounded better out loud than it did in her head.

“Well, school lasted longer than I thought it would. My parents were expecting me to be back by now, and I don’t want them to worry,” said Scootaloo.

Nope. it still sounded pathetic.

“Aw, that’s a shame. You see, there's this really cool place called Sugarcube Corner, and I was hoping you’d take me out for some ice cream,” said Dinky with flutter of her eyelashes.

Scootaloo had to fight back the urge to cry. Everything was going so very, very wrong. Unfortunately, this along with the love being sent to her made it rather difficult to speak.

“Um… that’s uh… I mean…” she stuttered.

“OK, it’s decided! You go say hi to your parents, and we can meet up at Sugarcube Corner. Scootaloo’s friends can tell you where it is. See you then,” said Dinky with a smile.

Dinky turned and left, still radiating love at Scootaloo.

Scootaloo could only stand there and stare into space as the rest of class trotted out. She heard Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon giggling at her, but she was too lost in thought to care. What was she going to do?

“Well, that’s just great,” said Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo jumped and turned to see her friends looking at her with deadpan expressions. Thorax just looked worried.

“OK, I understand that you probably didn’t want to make Dinky sad, but was it really so hard to say no? It’s a single, two letter syllable. If you had said it, this whole thing would be over and done with right now,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah. Aren’t ya supposed to be… ya know what? How can ya be so bad at comin’ up with excuses? Are ya just easily distracted by her looks when you're like this or somethin’?” asked Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo let out an indignant huff, before leaning in close.

“Well, sorry if my teacher for the last few years was horrible. And no, it wasn’t her looks that kept me occupied. I had to deal with Dinky giving me love all day. You know I eat that stuff, right? You try ignoring a tasty meal when it’s right under your nose,” whispered Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle shook their heads, but they didn’t argue the point any further.

“So, what happens now?” asked Thorax.

Scootaloo sighed.

“Well, first thing first, I’m going to have to talk with my ‘actual parents’ so we can put together a consistent story. And then…” Scootaloo trailed off.

“And then ya have to go on a date with Dinky,” finished Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo let out another sigh.

“Well, maybe someone at the hive could fill in for you? One with more experience at faking an identity?” suggested Thorax.

“Rule of the Cloudsdale Hive, Thorax: you mess up, you clean up, unless it’s too big a mess for one changeling. Going on a date is hardly something that requires backup so… yeah. Uh… any tips, Sweetie Belle? I mean, aside from the fact that your ice cream date actually got you a coltfriend and…” asked Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle let out a frustrated groan.

“Button is not my coltfriend, Scootaloo. Do I have to let Sweetie Bot give you another reminder of that?” demanded Sweetie Belle.

“Er… no thanks. But seriously? Is there anything you can tell me?” asked Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle sighed.

“Well, I can tell you to not worry about it too much. Try and enjoy your ice cream, and if you start talking with Dinky, be polite and keep the conversation going. And why are you asking me for advice, anyway? Didn’t you advise me last time?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“It’s a lot harder to remember the details when you’re the one about to face the music,” admitted Scootaloo.

Oh great All-Mother, please spare me the horror I am about to experience, prayed Scootaloo.

Alas, no great alicorn of creation appeared before her. She did get the feeling someone was giggling at her though.

Oh, wait.

I wasn’t praying to you, Dove, thought Scootaloo.

I know. That’s why I’m giggling and not demanding you offer me proper tribute, countered Dove.

Scootaloo let out what was possibly sigh number two hundred of the day. Resigned to her fate, she stepped into Sugarcube Corner. As was to be expected, it was crowded. Ponies everywhere of all ages chatting and eating tasty treats.

Nevertheless, Scootaloo spotted Dinky easily. The unicorn filly waved at Scootaloo and beckoned her over.

Scootaloo reluctantly took a seat next to her.

“What’ll it be, you two?” asked Pinkie Pie the moment Scootaloo sat down.

“Plain vanilla ice cream for me, please,” said Dinky.

“Same here,” mumbled Scootaloo. She really wasn’t in the mood for anything fancy right then and there.

“Alrighty then! Enjoy!” said Pinkie as tossed two full ice cream bowls down in front of them before dashing off.

Dinky levitated her spoon and started eating, while Scootaloo just sat there while her nerves ran wild.

OK. We’re here, and the date’s started. Now we just sit here and eat until one of us decided to start a conversation. Ugh. Well, I’m definitely not about to start talking, so I guess I’ll just have to wait for Dinky to say something, thought Scootaloo.

Several minutes of awkward silence passed. Feeling rather foolish and embarrassed, Scootaloo forced herself to start eating her ice cream. It wasn’t bad, but it did little to calm her down.

Finally, Dinky opened her mouth to speak.

“So, how did it happen?” asked Dinky.

Scootaloo blinked in confusion. What kind of conversation starter was that?

“How did what happen?” she asked.

“How did you turn into a colt?” asked Dinky.

Scootaloo proceeded to choke on her ice cream.

“Gah… *cough*... what?! Uh… I mean… what are you talking about?” Scootaloo stammered out.

Dinky rolled her eyes.

“I know it’s you, Scootaloo. I mean really, ‘Scooter?’ Distant cousin? That was the dumbest fake identity I’ve ever heard. Were you even trying to hide it?” asked Dinky.

Despite her rising panic and disbelief, Scootaloo couldn’t help but be feel like she was being insulted. Yes, her performance that day had been somewhat lacking, but she wasn’t that pathetic!

“Hey, I’ll have you know I did put some effort into it with what little time I had. I had to be related to myself in some way to excuse my own absence, and I look way too much like myself to be anything other than a family member. Family names aren’t too uncommon, so us having similar names wouldn’t be too odd. And everypony knows I don’t have a twin brother, so it had to be a cousin, or else it would be too obvious,” argued Scootaloo.

“It was still too obvious. I’m pretty sure everypony knew it was you,” said Dinky with a shake of her head.

Scootaloo sagged at this news.

“Everypony? Even...” muttered Scootaloo.

“Yes, even Snails,” said Dinky as she ate her ice cream.

A small part of Scootaloo died that day. It died in shame at the thought that her improvised disguise was so bad that even the class dummy wasn’t fooled. The rest of Scootaloo could only stare into space in silent despair.

Ouch. She’s gonna need some cream for that, commented Beetle.

Well, to be fair it was her first time doing serious improv, something the geezer never bothered teaching her, added Lynx.

Yeah, Lynx is right. Don’t let it get to you, Scoots, said Poppy.

Scootaloo let out a sigh and tried to reclaim her bearings. She picked up her spoon and took a bite of her ice cream to try and calm…

Wait.

Scootaloo took a moment to swallow, then turned to Dinky.

“Hold on a minute, you knew who I was, but you still asked me out on a date?! Why the hay would you do that?!” demanded Scootaloo.

Dinky gave Scootaloo a sincere smile.

“Like I said, everypony knew it was you. Diamond Tiara was just waiting for the perfect time to call you out on it. But if you’re with me then Diamond Tiara’s too nervous to start something, and you don’t get bullied until you can fix this. Well, at least I figured whatever happened must be reversible, or else you would have just come clean,” explained Dinky.

Scootaloo blinked in surprise.

“Oh. Well, uh, thanks, Dinky. And yeah, I’ll be back to normal before school tomorrow. But… why a date if you just wanted to hang out?” asked Scootaloo.

And why the buck were you sending me love? Scootaloo did not ask.

Dinky’s smile turned into a smirk.

“You do realize how cute you look as a colt, right? I mean, even knowing it’s you, I can’t help but want to cuddle you. Of course, you’re not the first colt to do this to me, and I doubt you’ll be the last. But still, it was nice to act on these feelings for once without having to worry about forming an actual relationship with a stranger I just met. Besides, you know what they say about orange pegasus stallions,” said Dinky with a roll of her eyes.

Scootaloo did not know what they say about such things, but decided she probably didn’t want to. Still, that explained the puppy love in a way that didn’t make Scootaloo want to tear her mane out. The tension that had been plaguing her all day finally died down.

“That, and because any excuse to split the bill for ice cream is a good excuse,” said Dinky with a smirk as she bit into her vanilla goodness.

Scootaloo had to chuckle at that. She did feel a little guilty though at the thought that Dinky felt this was necessary.

“Yeah, OK. I can’t argue with that. And as long as you know we’re not going to start something between us, I guess it’s fine. Although, you do realized that if everypony knew it was me, a lot of ponies are going to think you have a thing for fillies turned into colts,” said Scootaloo as she bit into her own ice cream.

“Eh, I’ll just tell them the truth: It wasn’t really about love or anything. And really, the only ponies who would have a problem with that sort of thing are the ones whose opinions don’t really matter,” said Dinky with a shrug.

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” agreed Scootaloo.

Several minutes passed while the two ate in comfortable silence. After a while though, Scootaloo felt the need to say something. Even if it wasn’t really a date, it seemed like it wouldn’t be proper to just sit there quietly. She figured this was what Sweetie Belle was talking about.

“So… uh… what’s new with you, Dinky?” asked Scootaloo.

“Nothing much. Still learning the basics of magic, still helping my mom around the house, and still don’t have my cutie mark,” said Dinky.

“Huh. Remind me again why you never joined the Cutie Mark Crusaders?” asked Scootaloo.

“Because I enjoy not being responsible for tons of property damage, and because I don’t obsess over getting my cutie mark as much as you girls do,” deadpanned Dinky.

“Oh, right. Well, we’re actually kinda getting over that,” said Scootaloo.

Now it was Dinky’s turn to choke on her ice cream.

“*Cough* What?! You three getting over your cutie marks?! Since when?!” demanded Dinky.

Since we realized that the three of us are never getting them? thought Scootaloo.

“Since mid summer. And it’s true. We really aren’t so focused with our cutie marks anymore. Apple Bloom’s still nagging us about coming up with a new name for ourselves,” said Scootaloo.

Dinky sat back in her chair and shook her head.

“Wow. I wouldn't believe it was possible, but now that I think about it that explains how you three have been able to ignore Diamond Tiara so easily lately. She just keeps getting more and more frustrated about that, you know,” said Dinky.

“Well, that’s her problem, not ours,” said Scootaloo with a shrug.

Finally, the not-really-a-date was over. Scootaloo and Dinky left on positive terms, and nothing else came of it. As soon as the coast was clear, Scootaloo turned back into her normal filly self, and hurried home.

Thank Celestia that’s done with. And nothing really bad happened either, thought Scootaloo.

Indeed. I hope you’ve learned a valuable lesson today, my little firefly, said Blue Monarch.

Yeah. And it only took you making a public fool of yourself in a way that everypony was too polite to call you out on to do it, said Dove.

Shut it, Dove. And yeah, I think I did mom. Aside for the whole ‘don’t get careless’ thing, I mean. Something about not assuming things about what other ponies think of you, right? thought Scootaloo.

I suppose that's a valid thing to learn, though I was referring to one of the more basic rules about romance, said Blue Monarch.

Which is? asked Scootaloo.

Never ask someone out on a date just because they’re pretty. You never know what dark secrets they’re hiding under their skin, said Blue Monarch with a giggle.

Scootaloo had to fight back the urge to moan. Her mother was just unbearable sometimes.

Wait, isn’t that a quote from the hive manifesto? commented Beetle.

Blue Monarch gave an awkward cough.

Well, not an exact quote. I paraphrased the bit about dating…

Ugh…

Boo!

Mom, can you do us all a favor and stop trying to be so mysterious? You’re not very good at it.

I have no idea what you’re talking about, sweetie. Also, you're grounded for that comment.

But it’s true mom!

Even if it were, you’re still grounded.

But didn’t you fail drama class as a filly, mom?

That’s just a rumor my sister started. And now you’re grounded too.

Scootaloo sighed and toned her family out. Just another day in the Cloudsdale hive.

Author's Note

This chapter was a pain to write. I had to scrap the first two drafts, and then it seemed a little too similar to the last chapter and... ugh. I'm still not completely happy with it, but I really don't want to go on another year long hiatus.

And no, I'm not writing a "romance chapter" for Apple Bloom next. I really should have only written one in the first place.

On a more positive note, some of you might of noticed that I've broken the rotation on who each chapter focuses on. There's a reason for that. Let's just say that things are about to get interesting around here, and Apple Bloom gets to go first.

Chapter 13.5: Things Are Set in Motion

In the middle of the night, a cloaked figure snuck into Sweet Apple Acres. Who or whatever it was, it had four legs, and was about the size of a full grown pony stallion. Its steps were silent, and it left no hoofprints as it glided across the muddy ground. Indeed, it moved with an almost supernatural grace and agility.

And then it tripped on flat ground.

Splat!

After pulling itself up and cursing under its breath, the figure shook the mud off its cloak as best it could before continuing on its way.

Finally, it arrived at the Apple Family’s house. It peaked into the windows of the building, searching, until it reached Apple Bloom’s room.

The filly’s sleeping undead form was plain to see. As was the fact that she was having an unpleasant dream. She was tossing and turning, and mumbling something under her breath.

The hooded figure nodded. This was the one it had sensed.

At the figure's command, a cloud of dark energy floated out of its cloak and entered the room. It quickly settled upon the moving filly. A moment later, Apple Bloom laid still. Satisfied, the cloaked figure turned to leave.

And then stepped on a rake.

Crunch!

Now holding its face and softly moaning in pain, the cloaked figured hobbled away the same way it had come.

Had anyone been around to witness all this, they would have noticed that the hood of the cloak was now somewhat lop-sided, as if whoever was wearing it was holding its head at an odd angle.

Apple Bloom cringed as she looked at all the faces around her.

“I’ll be your coltfriend, Apple Bloom!” said Rumble.

“I’ll be your coltfriend, Apple Bloom!” said Snips.

“I’ll be your coltfriend, Apple Bloom!” said Scooter.

“I’ll be your coltfriend, Apple Bloom!” said Diamond Crown.

Apple Bloom just awkward backed away as her class, which consisted entirely of colts aside from Apple Bloom, pushed their way towards her.

“That’s... Uh... nice and all, but Ah’m not lookin’ for a coltfriend right now,” she said.

The herd of potential coltfriends just pressed on harder.

“I’ll be your coltfriend, Apple Bloom!” said Button Mash.

“I’ll be your coltfriend, Apple Bloom!” said Dusk Shine.

“I’ll be your coltfriend, Apple Bloom!” said Pinkie Pie.

Wait.

“Huh? what the hay are ya doin’ here, Pinkie?!” exclaimed Apple Bloom.

Before Pinkie could reply, however, the walls and ponies around Apple Bloom faded in a haze.

Apple Bloom looked around in confusion before a dark miasma overtook her vision.

Suddenly, her mind was filled with images of a special place. A place free from all the hate and judgement that ponies showed her. Where she wouldn’t have to hide what she truly was, or pretend to be something she wasn’t. Where she would be among her peers, safe and sound.

It certainly sounded like a nice place. Apple Bloom really wanted to check it out. To be away from all the ponies who are mean to her, away from those who didn’t care about her. All she had to do was leave them behind and go to that special place…

“But what about mah family and friends? Ah don’t want to go away from them,” said Apple Bloom.

The darkness around her suddenly stopped, and the visions ended. It was almost like it didn’t know what to do next. Finally, it seemed to just give up and faded away to nothing.

Back in the waking world, the dark cloud also vanished. There was no trace that anything had happened to the sleeping undead filly. Apple Bloom was free to continue dreaming undisturbed.

Unfortunately, this meant sending her back into the crowd of would-be coltfriends.

“I’ll be your coltfriend, Apple Bloom!” said young Prince Solaris.

Come the next morning, Apple Bloom woke groaning and miserable. She could recall what she had been dreaming about with perfect clarity.

“Ugh… Ah reckon Ah don’t need Princess Luna to tell me what that was about. After Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo went on dates, Ah guess some part of me is worried Ah’ll have to do the same. Or worse, some part of me wants to go on one. And Ah can thank Scootaloo for turnin’ every filly and mare ah know into colts. Ah swear, this better not become a recurrin’ thing in mah dreams, or Ah’m gonna smack that changeling silly,” she grumbled.

“Well, whatever. Ah gotta get goin’. It’s almost Nightmare Night, and we got a ton to get ready,” said Apple Bloom as she got out of her bed.

Or at least, she thought she remembered everything. Whatever that dark cloud was trying to do before it faded, it seemed to have had no effect on Apple Bloom.

In fact, the only sign that anything unusual had happened at all that evening was an unremarkable small patch of disturbed mud in the field, and a rake in the backyard that had been moved slightly.

Author's Note

OK, so this is just a mini chapter, so I didn't lie when I said I would not be doing another romance thing. Technically.

And like I said, things are about to get interesting.

Chapter 14: The Stumbling Dead

He sighed as he contemplated his situation. This assignment had proven most unpleasant so far. Their journey had been long and slow. They were most unwelcome in these lands, so they could only travel by night, and had to avoid roads and towns. But far worse was the group he’d been assigned to “help” with the mission.

“So… I think we’re supposed to make a right turn next…” said one of them as he looked at the map.

“No, no no. Look, the arrow thingy is pointed that way, so we need to go left,” said another.

“You’re both wrong. We don’t make our next turn until we reach the cursed grove,” said a third.

“But we’re in the cursed grove right now, aren’t we?” asked the last one.

He facehooved. He couldn’t wait for this job to be over and done with. He also silently swore to never ask for a promotion when his superior was in the middle of… certain activities. He never wanted to be given a disciplinary assignment again.

‘Twas the day before Nightmare Night. And all through the town, everypony was busy preparing the grounds. Bats, skulls, and pumpkins were hung here and there, in the hopes of giving the town’s children a scare.

Well, almost everypony.

“Mom, it’s Nightmare Night, not Hearth’s Warming. Can you please stop singing carols?” asked Dinky with a shake of her head.

“Oh, I know what day it is. But if you change the lyrics a bit, the song becomes perfect for today,” said Derpy with a smile.

“Yeah, but it still sounds a little too jolly for the holiday and… wait. Is this about that movie we saw the other day?” accused Dinky.

Derpy gingerly tapped her hooves together and gave an awkward smile. Dinky sighed and put a hoof gently to her face. Apple Bloom and Babs Seed just chuckled as they continued on their way to the farm from the train station.

“Wow. Ah barely get off the train and Ah’m hearin’ funny things. Ah’m definitely in Ponyville alright,” said Babs Seed with a chuckle.

“Hey, that was a good movie. Still, Ah have to agree that hearin’ carols while we’re gettin’ candy would be kind of weird. We don’t normally have that around here,” said Apple Bloom.

“Glad even you think so. But really, Ah’ll be surprised if somethin’ unusual don’t happen while Ah’m here,” said Babs.

“Well, duh. This is your first Nightmare Night outside a big city. And Ah think you’ll find one of the most bizarre things out here is also one of the best,” said Apple Bloom.

“And that is?” asked Babs Seed.

“Ah heard a rumor that Ponyville fillies and colts get more candy on Nightmare Night than anywhere else in Equestria,” said Apple Bloom with a smirk.

“Well now, Ah’m not sure if that’s true or not, but that’s certainly some weirdness Ah can get behind,” Babs Seed replied with a smirk of her own.

They found the others waiting for them at the clubhouse. Sweetie Belle looked excited, but Thorax looked even more nervous than usual, and Scootaloo seemed to be brooding about something.

“Crystal Hoof, this is mah cousin, Babs Seed. Babs, this is Crystal Hoof. He’s a new colt in town that’s been hanging out with us for awhile now. And Crystal, she already knows our secrets, so ya don’t have to worry about hidin’ them from her,” introduced Apple Bloom.

“Oh. Uh, it’s nice to meet you,” said Thorax with a nervous smile as he offered a hoof.

Babs Seed raised an eyebrow.

“OK, so what’s his thing? He an alien or somethin’?” asked Babs.

Thorax gave a panicked squeak.

“You know, Babs, not everypony in town has some dark secret,” said Sweetie Belle with a roll of her eyes.

“Yeah, but Ah can’t imagine why yah'd share yer secrets with him otherwise. Besides, Ah doubt a crystal pony would be in Ponyville unless he had somethin’ tah hide anyway. Ponyville ain’t exactly a popular tourist site, and Ah don’t think anyone sane would want tah move here wit’out good reason,” countered Babs.

Sweetie Belle blinked in surprise.

“Huh. When you put it that way, you make it sound like ponies avoid Ponyville. I mean, yeah, we have a lot of disasters and monster attacks and… OK, you might have a point there,” admitted Sweetie Belle.

“And if you must know, he’s the same as me,” added Scootaloo in a blunt tone.

Everypony looked at Scootaloo in surprise. It wasn’t like her to blurt out an important secret like that.

“Uh, Scoots? Is everythin’ alright?” asked Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo let out a sigh.

“Well, nothing we should have to worry about. It’s just… changeling business. The stuff I can’t help but pick up from the hivemind but can’t do anything about,” admitted Scootaloo.

“She’s right. Her hive’s not the only one on edge right now,” added Thorax.

That was concerning. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom shared a worried look.

“Did something go wrong with the visitation?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“No, it has nothing to do with that. It’s… well, not something kids like us can help with. Don’t worry about it. Just know that me and Thorax are going to be on edge for awhile,” said Scootaloo.

Everypony shared an uncertain look, but ultimately didn’t push the matter any further.

Before anyone knew it, the sun was down, and Nightmare Night was about to begin. The CMC plus Babs and Thorax got their costumes ready and suited up.

The CMC’s choice of costumes were somewhat expected. The changeling, robot, and ghoul had decided to go out as a changeling, robot, and ghoul respectively.

Scootaloo’s costume was a black suit with the back painted blue. She also had a fake twisted horn attached to her head, paper insect wings attached to her own, fake fangs, and a set of black socks that were full of patchwork holes. She’d dyed her mane black, and she even had a pair of contact lenses to make her eyes solid blue.

Sweetie Belle’s costume was a fairly typical robot costume: A large cardboard box painted silver with plastic tubes covering her legs. At a glance, one might think she’d pulled it off a costume store rack, but the enchanted gems that blinked on and off like lights showed that Rarity had a hoof in making it. She’d also decided to mark her horn and face with a few lines of glowing green paint.

And Apple Bloom’s costume was a potato bag, painted to make it look like rotten flesh with splotches of red and pink and with additional bags covering her legs and head. What made it a genuinely interesting costume, however, were the undead ‘bits’ she’d added. She had attached a bunch of pink string to her barrel, giving the impression she was dragging her intestines along the ground, and one of her bag’s eye sockets was painted black, with a golf ball dangling underneath it like an eye.

All in all, it was a very impressive display, except for one small detail.

“So… why aren’t yah three just goin’ as yerselves? Ah mean, why even bothah with costumes at all?” asked Babs.

The CMC shared a look before shrugging.

“Nopony knows what a changeling looks like when we aren’t starving. And if I have to explain what one looks like, I’ll have to tell how I know that. And at that point I might as well just admit I’ve always been one. I’m not revealing myself when changelings are going to become citizens any day now,” said Scootaloo.

“I don’t know if my perception filter will still work if ponies think it’s just a costume for tonight. I don’t want to find out the hard way and have ponies asking me why I still have my ‘costume’ on tomorrow. And really, how would I get ponies to see past the filter in the first place? Go full robot all night with my chest open wide? No thanks,” said Sweetie Belle.

“And while mah true form may be perfect for Nightmare Night, it’s a bit too perfect. Sure, everypony’ll think it’s really cool, until Ah bump into somethin’ and mah head falls off. Then there’ll be a bunch of awkward questions, and if Ah say it’s a spell or somethin’, everypony’ll want to know how to do it for next year. It’s too big a risk, so Ah’m still wearin’ mah bow under the bag,” finished Apple Bloom with a shake of her head.

What Apple Bloom wasn’t saying was that she also really didn’t want to spend a whole evening in her true form. The last thing she wanted to do on a night like this was be reminded of her problems.

“Yeah, that’s fair enough, Ah guess. By the way, why is he comin’ with us when he’s an adult? And what’s up with his costume?” asked Babs as she pointed towards Thorax.

Thorax blushed and kicked the ground. His costume was possible one of the most creative and original costumes possible: a bed sheet ghost with cut out eyes.

“I, uh, don’t have a lot of experience with costume making. It’s a completely different thing from making a disguise. The only thing I could come up with was disguising myself as a celebrity, but everyone told me that was a bad idea,” admitted Thorax.

“Yeah. Because a flawless colt version of Sapphire Shores wouldn’t be suspicious at all. There’s a reason why changelings use actual costumes on Nightmare Night, Thorax,” said Scootaloo with a roll of her eyes.

“As for why he’s coming with us, he’s never celebrated a Nightmare Night in his life. We figured he should at least get to experience one before he has to go back to being an adult,” added Sweetie Belle.

“What about you, Babs? Any reason ya went with a dragon this year?” asked Apple Bloom.

Babs Seed shrugged as best she could in her dragon suit.

“Ah figured if Ah was gonna come here and tempt fate, Ah’d tempt it with somethin’ awesome. If Ah have tah turn inta somethin’ weird, might as well be a dragon pony, right?” said Babs.

“You mean a Longma?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Everypony else just stared at her.

“That’s what they’re called. Dragon-pony hybrids, I mean. Come on, I can’t be the only one who reads fantasy books, right?” said Sweetie Belle as she nervously looked at her friends.

Awkward coughs were her only answer.

“Alright, Ah admit it. This is way more candy than Ah’ve ever gotten back home,” admitted Babs with smile.

“Told ya,” said Apple Bloom with a smirk.

And it was indeed a very successful Nightmare Night. Their candy bags were so overflowing they’d had to start snacking just to keep them from spilling all over the ground. Not that they were complaining. Well, mostly.

“Mints again?! Ugh! I know she’s a dentist and all, but can we at least get sugar free lollipops or something? I swear, Colgate’s never going to hoof out good candy. Anypony wanna trade?” asked Scootaloo.

“I though you like mint?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“I like Peppermint. This stuff Colgate passes out is just… yuck. Seriously, I’ll take anything for these,” begged Scootaloo.

“Well, I’m really not a fan of these gummi hay burgers, so here you go,” said Sweetie Belle as she passed her candy.

Thorax, meanwhile, was staring at his candy bag as if it were full of gold. It also held a lot less candy than the others’. It seemed the full grown changeling was developing a bit of a sweet tooth.

“So, what’s after we get our candy? Do we go int’a haunted house tah make our offerin’ to Nightmare Moon?” asked Babs.

“Nah. Applejack told me Ponyville tried that one year, but it was a disaster. Somethin’ about dirty socks and toilet paper. These days, when we make our tribute to Nightmare Moon, we go to the one place she’s always lurkin’: The Everfree Forest,” said Apple Bloom with a dramatic wave of her hoof.

Babs Seed did not take this news well.

“The Everfree?! In the middle of the night?! Are you crazy?! There are monsters in there! What, does somepony end up missin’ every year or somethin’?!” demanded Babs as she jumped up in agitation.

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, and Princess Luna really eats ponies if we don’t give up some of our candy. Of course we don’t actually go into the Everfree. We go into the Whitetail Woods. We just say it’s the Everfree to make it scarier. We even have a Nightmare Moon statue in there and everthin’. And no, we don’t let ponies enter the Everfree by mistake. We always have ponies patrolin’ the forest entrance to make sure,” explained Apple Bloom.

“Oh,” was all Babs could say as she sat back down with blush.

“Seriously, Babs. Ah know it’s Ponyville and all, but if ya keep expectin’ somethin’ to go wrong, you’re not goin’ to have that great a time,” said Apple Bloom.

Babs Seed let out a sigh.

“Ah would agree, but Ah know that the moment Ah do stop worryin’, somethin’ is goin’ tah go wrong,” said Babs.

Apple Bloom let out a sigh.

“It’ll be fine, Babs. Nothin’ is goin’ to happen,” she reassured.

It was nearly time. He turned towards his companions.

“She is almost here,” he said.

“Yep. Though it seems she’s not coming alone,” noted one of his followers.

“It would appear so. How odd. Hm… Are you certain she knows we’re coming? Did you plant the information properly?” he asked.

“Of course I did! I know I’m not the best watcher, but I know how to do my job. She probably just isn’t expecting us to come looking for her tonight,” the follower replied.

“What other night would we dare venture this close to civilization?” he challenged.

The one speaker cringed.

“No matter. This will be an easy fix. Be ready to herd the others away. We don’t want any… disturbances,” he ordered.

“Does this mean we can eat their brains?” asked another follower.

“No. We’re supposed to avoid drawing attention to ourselves, and eating their brains would leave clear evidence that we were here. Do you class B’s ever think about anything other than brains?” he asked.

“Not really. It’s what makes us class B’s.” came the reply.

He sighed, and prayed the target would be much more cooperative than these fools were.

“Just get ready to add sound to my illusion spell…” he ordered.

“Babs, are you OK?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Babs Seed shook a little harder. She wasn’t taking the journey through the woods very well.

“Y...yeah. Ah’m… Ah’m fine. It’s just so… quiet. Ah don’t think Ah’ve ever heard so little before,” admitted Babs.

“Yeah, Ah guess that bein’ in the middle of the woods at night could be extra creepy for a city pony. Ah dunno though. Ah’d have never taken ya for a scaredy cat, Babs,” said Apple Bloom.

Babs Seed gave her cousin an angry glare, but then right back to shivering.

“Right, sorry. That was mean of me,” apologized Apple Bloom.

As they continued on their way down the forest trail, however, Apple Bloom noticed that it did seem unnaturally quiet for an evening in the Whitetail Woods. The crickets were silent, and she had yet to hear a single owl. And come to think of it, what was that funny smell?

“Does anypony else smell that?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Smell what?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Like somethin’ burnt, or rotten,” answered Apple Bloom.

“Well, I don’t smell any…” said Scootaloo before she froze.

Thorax froze as well. Everypony else looked at the two changelings in confusion.

“Uh, is something wrong?” asked Apple Bloom.

Suddenly, there was a loud noise in a nearby bush.

“What was that?” asked an increasingly nervous Babs Seed.

Everypony turned towards the noise. The bush rustled again.

“Hello? Is somepony there?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“BLARG!!!!!”

A huge, hideous snake monster appeared out of the bush!

“AHHHH!!!!” Everypony screamed as they turned and ran.

Unfortunately, they all ran in different directions.

By the time she stopped panicking, Apple Bloom had traveled a surprisingly far distance. She stopped and took several deep breaths as she tried to reclaim her bearings.

“By Celestia, *huff,* Ah don’t think, *huff,* Ah’ve ever seen, *huff,* a Nightmare Night scare, “huff* that terrifyin’,” she managed to wheeze out.

Finally, she calmed down enough to look around. She quickly realized that she was alone, and she couldn't see the trail.

“Scootaloo? Sweetie Belle? Can ya hear me? Crystal Hoof? Babs?” called Apple Bloom.

She got no response.

“Great. I’m lost and all alone in the woods at night. And Ah lost all mah candy. When Ah find out who set up that monster scare, Ah’m goin’ to give ‘em a piece of mah mind. Nopony’s supposed to set anythin’ up in the woods so this very thing doesn’t happen,” Apple Bloom grumbled.

Still, she wasn’t in trouble. The Whitetail Woods weren’t very dangerous, and she knew a few tricks to navigating a forest at night. Especially the forests near Ponyville.

“OK, Ah know that if Ah want to get back to Ponyville, Ah have to go east. And if Ah find a gap in trees like so… Ah can see the North Star. So Ah’ll want to go that way,” she deducted as she pointed in what she believed was the right direction.

“Or you could stop and chat for awhile,” said a male voice.

Apple Bloom jumped in surprise, turned towards the voice, and saw a cloaked stallion standing nearby.

“Uh, pardon?” asked Apple Bloom.

Who the hay was this? And what was he doing in the middle of the woods at night?

“Or better yet, why go back at all? After all, we’re here for you now,” the stranger continued.

Now feeling a little scared, Apple Bloom nervously began stepping away. In response, the stallion began following her. He was soon joined by another cloaked figure, and then another. Soon, there were five cloaked ponies, all making their way towards her.

This was starting to seem just a little too familiar to Apple Bloom. These cloaked beings didn't seem very friendly, and they brought back memories of a certain cursed town in the middle of the Everfree. And with that thought, Apple Bloom noticed something wrong about these cloaked strangers: they all emitted a dark aura. It was similar to the dark aura that Bear Bone and Kamikazi had.

They were all undead.

Panicked thought after panicked thought flew through Apple Bloom’s mind. Were these the ghouls from the Everfree, coming to reclaim her? Were these the bad ghouls the Changelings were fighting against? Were they something else entirely? And what did they want with her?

“S...stay back!” she cried.

Surprisingly, they all stopped.

“Don’t worry. We’re not here to hurt you. We’re just here to take you to a safe place,” said one of them.

Apple Bloom only got more scared.

“No! Ah don’t want to go back to that stupid town! Ah don’t want to stay with you creeps!” shrieked Apple Bloom.

The cloaked ponies looked at each other in confusion.

“Go back? You’ve never been there. Where do you think we’re taking you?” one of them asked.

Now it was Apple Bloom’s turn to look confused as her panic started to wane.

“Uh… the town where Ah was cursed?” she said.

The cloaked ponies looked at each other again, before pulling down their hoods. Other than a few missing patches of skin on some of their faces, they looked like completely normal ponies. They had a distinct lack of burnt skin and red eyes. A unicorn stallion, presumably the leader, stepped forward.

“It would appears that there’s been some confusion. We’re not the ones who cursed you. We’re the ones who have come to rescue you,” he said.

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow.

“Rescue me? From what? Who are you ponies?” she asked.

The leader raised an eyebrow of his own before he turned towards one of the followers with an angry glare.

“You told me you gave her the message,” he stated in a calm yet threatening tone.

“I did! I swear I did!” cried the follower as he wilted under the leader’s gaze.

“And yet she doesn’t remember receiving it. There are two ways that could happen, and one of them would have ended with her locked up in a dungeon somewhere. So that means that she had enough hope and love in her to break the dark magic-fueled vision. How could you fail to notice she wasn’t in trouble?” the leader demanded.

“She was tossing and turning on her bed! How is that not a clear sign she was in trouble?” countered the follower.

The leader’s glare only grew harder.

“On her bed?! You mean to tell me that we’ve journeyed all the way to the center of Equestria for nothing? Just because you couldn’t tell somepony was asleep and having a nightmare?!” demanded the leader ghoul as he pressed his face into the other pony’s.

The follower gulped, glanced around for a moment, then turned toward Apple Bloom.

“Well, Uh… were you having a nightmare, kid?” asked the ghoul.

“Um… Ah think so? Ah do have ‘em from time to time, and Ah don’t remember no message about ghouls,” answered Apple Bloom uncertainty.

“Then yeah, we came all this way for nothing, boss,” said the ghoul with an awkward smile.

Crunch!

“Sorryyyyyyy…” cried the ghoul as his head flew off into the distance.

“Nice buck, sir,” commented a different ghoul.

The leader just sighed and dragged a hoof down his face.

“Somepony remember to pick his head up when we leave. A buck to the face is hardly an adequate punishment, but I’ll leave it to the council to decide what he deserves for this blunder,” he ordered.

“Got it, sir,” replied another ghoul as he tossed the now headless ghoul’s body onto his back.

Taking a deep breath, the leader turned to Apple Bloom.

“I apologize for this. We were under the impression that you were in great distress. Watchers, such as that fool, have the ability to detect cursed beings from great distances. When he sensed you, he came here to investigate and thought you were in trouble, and so we came to assist you,” he explained.

That sounded odd to Apple Bloom. She had been cursed for months now, but they only just detected her? Still, she didn’t trust these ponies enough to share details like that.

“Assist with what?” asked Apple Bloom.

“With your curse, of course. Not everypony is willing to overlook such things, I’m afraid. Many an undead pony is scourged and hated for what they have become. We keep our eyes and ears open to such tragedies, and offer such poor souls a place to escape to. A place to be safe with others who know their suffering all too well,” said the leader with a shake of his head.

Apple Bloom found this somewhat disheartening to hear. Especially since it brought back memories of when she was afraid that very thing would happen to her.

“However, we are not a bunch of kidnappers. If you are safe, and your family and friends still care for you, we won’t force you to come with us. In fact, the knowledge that you are happy here gives the rest of us hope that we might be able to live among our fellow ponies again some day. So tell me honestly, do you want to stay here?” asked the leader.

Apple Bloom nodded. It wasn’t a very hard decision, really.

“Yeah, Ah do. Thanks for the offer to take me somewhere safe, but Ah’m perfectly happy where Ah am,” she answered.

The leader nodded in return.

“Alright everypony, you heard her. We’re not needed here. Let’s head back before we’re spotted. Again, sorry for troubling you, kid. But remember, if you ever find yourself with no one to turn to, look to the shadows at the edges of Equestria. We’ll be more than happy to give you somewhere to go,” said the leader with a soft smile.

Apple Bloom let out a sigh of relief as the ghouls all turned to leave. Whoever these ghouls were, at least they didn’t seem to be bad guys. She wondered if Bear Bone and Kamikazi knew about this group of hidden helper ghouls. They had to know about other groups of not-evil undead, right?

Suddenly, the leader stopped and walked back towards Apple Bloom.

“Almost forgot. If you’re going to stay here, then I need to give you a warning,” he said.

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow.

“You see, while your friends and family have accepted you, ghouls aren’t the only cursed people living in the shadows. One of them, however, is especially dangerous. They’re monsters that suck out the souls of normal ponies and wear their skin as their own. They also have a deep hunger for dark magic, especially our kind,” he explained.

Apple Bloom got nervous again. Was he talking about a group of evil liches?

“So please, try to keep your curse a secret. Those filthy Parasites will not hesitate to destroy you if they find you,” said the leader ghoul.

Apple Bloom nodded. She was already keeping her curse a secret, so it wasn’t that big a deal. But she would probably inform the Princesses about these Parasite things so they would…

“... If you want to insult us, call us parasites,” said Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom froze as the memory from months ago resurfaced. Could it be? Were these ghouls…

The leader’s expression suddenly hardened.

“I see,” he said.

Then, without warning, he tackled Apple Bloom, pinned her to the ground, grabbed one of her legs in a tight grip, and covered her mouth.

Apple Bloom blinked in shock, but then immediately started to struggle.

“Get the bag,” he ordered his followers.

The other ghouls looked at him in confusion.

“Uh, boss? Didn’t you just say…” one of them started.

“She’s already spoken with the parasites. I saw recognition on her face when I called them by their appropriate name. If we let her go, she’ll tell them we were here. If we take her with us, we might buy ourselves enough time to get across the border and out of their territory. We’ll be caught either way, so we might as well reduce the risk,” he replied.

Apple Bloom’s eyes went wide as she realized what was happening. She struggled even harder, but the fully grown ghoul had her pinned down too strongly. All she managed to do was tear a few holes into her costume. She tried to scream, but all she could get through the ghoul’s hoof was a mumble.

What do Ah do?! What do Ah do?! she thought in a panic.

The ghoul leader looked back down at her with a neutral expression.

“Don’t take it personally, kid. I don’t like this either, but I’m not about to give the parasites a leg up on us. If they’ve found you and let you go free, it’s because they’re using you for something or other. I don’t know what, but I’m not about to let them do it. And don’t worry, you’ll be free again soon enough, once those stupid bugs have been properly swatted,” he said with cold conviction.

Apple Bloom shivered. This was bad. Very bad. She was about to be kidnapped!

“I got the bag, boss,” said one of the followers.

The ghoul leader turned, and then stared at the sight of what the follower was holding. Apple Bloom followed his gaze, and couldn’t help but pause her struggling to stare as well.

“Is that her candy bag?” he demanded.

“Yep. Picked it up from where she dropped it. You want a chocolate pumpkin, or a…” the follower trailed off as the leader glared at him.

“When I said ‘the bag’ I meant the bag we use to carry injured ghouls! Why the buck would I ask for candy?!” asked the leader.

“Why wouldn’t you want candy?” asked the follower.

The leader looked like he very much wanted to buck another head off, and probably would have if he wasn’t busy holding Apple Bloom down.

“Just get the right bag before I lose my bucking mind,” growled the leader.

Apple Bloom, meanwhile, resumed her thrashing, but to no avail. Suddenly, she felt her magic shift. Looking down in confusion, she noticed through a tear in her costume that her skin had turned black. She realized that in her struggling, she had worked her bow out of her mane.

“I got the right one, boss,” said another one of the followers as he came forward with a sack big enough to carry Apple Bloom.

Apple Bloom desperately needed a plan, and fast. And then, inspiration struck. With her bow removed, she had an opportunity. She couldn’t get out from under the ghoul, but maybe she didn’t have to. There was another direction she could move. But the ghoul had one of her forelegs in a tight grip…

Well, Kamikazi said it’ll grow back, she thought.

Her mind made up, Apple Bloom focused her magic, and twisted her body in a way it was never meant to be twisted. With a loud crunch, she snapped her leg off, and dove beneath the soil.

“What the?” cried the follower with the bag as Apple Bloom vanished from view.

“Son of a… she’s a class G! What do we do?!” cried another follower.

“Calm down,” said the leader in steady tone.

Apple Bloom could feel her detached leg as the stallion tossed it into what must have been the bag.

“She’s only a child, and missing a leg. She won’t be able to get far. Spread out, and keep your senses keen,” he ordered.

“Yes, sir!” said the followers as they split up.

Apple Bloom felt them trot away through the earth, but the leader remained.

Horse Apples. Ah was hopin’ that they’d all wander off. Now what do Ah do? He’s right, Ah can’t go far like this, and Ah can’t stay down here for long. Come on, Apple Bloom, think of somethin’, thought Apple Bloom.

The ghoul leader cleared his throat.

“Look kid, I know how this must seem to you. But I was telling the truth when I said we’re not kidnappers. Not really. We’re just a bunch of ghouls trying to stick together in a world that doesn’t care for us. I’m sorry that we have to take you away from your family, but you just don’t understand how dangerous the parasites are,” he said.

He must be tryin’ to draw me out, thought Apple Bloom, but she found it rather difficult to ignore him when her senses were so strong underground.

“Sure, they act all friendly, and I’m not ignorant enough to believe that they’re all bad eggs, but all it takes is one of them to cause trouble. You heard about the wedding invasion, right? Before you say it, I understand it was caused by an outcast. Trust me, we know all about that so called queen. Even so, you have to understand how powerful they are,” he continued.

Just ignore him. Don’t say anythin’, though Apple Bloom.

“They can create wax strong enough to imprison an alicorn. They can impersonate anypony, fooling even royalty. And worst of all, they have their venom. Oh sure, they claim they never use it. That it’s illegal and can be easily prevented. But that doesn’t mean they can’t. They're an unnatural, twisted race. They were never meant to exist,” he explained.

Apple Bloom couldn’t hold back at that. She poked her muzzle out of the ground.

“And we are?!” she exclaimed before quickly diving back down.

The ghoul leader turned towards where she had spoken, but didn’t move. Cursing herself, Apple Bloom quickly moved to another position.

“Yes, they are even more wretched than us. Dark magic has existed since the dawn of time. Ghouls and other vile dark creatures have existed almost as long. But the parasites? They are not part of an inevitable development from the world’s dark side. They were corrupted by a vile substance known as the smooze,”

Again, Apple Bloom couldn't contain herself.

“Oh, ya mean the stuff y’all are tryin’ to unleash?” countered Apple Bloom before submerging again.

“Ah. So they did tell you about that. But did they tell you why we are trying to unleash it in the first place?” asked the ghoul.

Apple Bloom didn’t have a response to that.

“Didn’t think so. Then again, I suppose as a class G you wouldn’t understand. You see, not all undead curses are created equal. Some grant the bearer great power in return for their corruption. Others strip ponies of crucial parts of themselves. But being such as I and most of my colleagues are especially cursed, as it is impossible for us to die,” said the leader.

We’re undead. Of course we can’t die, thought Apple Bloom with a mental roll of her eyes.

“I know what you're thinking: ‘but we’re undead. Of course we can’t die.’ You are mistaken. Yes, our bodies shall not perish from old age and we can survive many things that would kill a normal pony, but some can still perish. I, a class C, have no such luxury. And as one who has lived for centuries, I can assure you that there is no worse fate to befall a mortal soul,” explained the ghoul.

Yeah, bein’ undead sucks. Ah don’t need ya to tell me that. What does any of this have to do with the smooze? thought Apple Bloom.

“But we believe there is one way we could find our eternal rest. A substance so terrible that it nearly ended the world. It created the parasites, and destroyed countless civilizations. How could our own pitiful dark magic hope to compare? Yes, in unleashing it, we will bring a great deal of suffering to the world, but what of it? You have your champions. You have your alicorn rulers. You’ll be able to contain it again easily enough,” he continued.

Once more, Apple Bloom was driven to respond. This time, however, she rose high enough to look the ghoul leader in the eye.

“That’s your reasonin’? ‘Other ponies will be able to deal with it so who cares what we do?’ Even if the smooze is the only way ya can die, that doesn’t mean it’s OK to hurt other ponies to get what you want!” she cried.

The ghoul leader looked at her and gave a sad shake of his head.

“Funny. That's the exact same thing I told my mother when I was your age. Class C ghouls are one of the few that can still bear children, you see. Do I wish I could end my curse without hurting others? Very much so, but I have no choice. And I will not live as I am for eternity just because it means a few other ponies have to put up with some difficulty in their lives,” countered the ghoul.

He got up and slowly made his way towards Apple Bloom.

“And what about you? Yes, your friend and family have accepted you, but they won’t be around forever. And it might be possible to break a class G curse, but it is not as simple as burning a cursed town, and we both know that you can not possibly do it alone. You will only get one chance every hundred years at best, and no one will be there to help you when it does. Face it kid, you’re just as doomed as I am,” said the ghoul.

Apple Bloom opened her mouth to object, to say that the Princesses themselves had agreed to help her, but she paused. Doubts began to enter her mind. What if he was right? What if her curse was never broken, and she had to live on forever?

“What will you do then? Live in isolation until the end of the world? Surrender yourself to the Princesses so they can lock you up? You are too young to comprehend eternity. You may see our goal as immoral, but in due time you will be willing to commit any crime to find your rest, just as we are. Even if you don’t come with us tonight, you will inevitably step in line with the rest of us,” he accused.

Dark thoughts that Apple Bloom long been trying to bury bubbled back into her mind. Thoughts about just horrible her current situation was. Thoughts about how miserable she was doomed to be. Thoughts of watching everyone she cared about grow old and die while she sat at their tombstones, unable to follow them.

Thoughts about how much she hated being a ghoul.

“I… I…” she mumbled.

The ghoul stopped a short distance away from Apple Bloom, looking down on her exposed face with a cold glare.

“And even if you never join us, it won’t make a difference. We cannot die. With each passing generation our numbers continue to grow, and the parasites aren’t so lucky. It’s only a matter of time before we overwhelm them and complete our objective. We will succeed, with or without you. Why not do the smart thing and join the side that is going to win?” he suggested.

Apple Bloom tried to match the ghoul’s glare, but inside she felt conflicted. Was he right? Was it inevitable? If nothing else he had a point about them not dying and growing in numbers. And how could she just continue to live among normal ponies and pretend everything was alright for centuries?

Because nothing was right.

Time and time again, her thoughts had drifted to this one terrible detail. Every time she would cast it aside. She had friends to play with, chores to do, and family to be with. She didn’t have time to worry about it. But with this grown ghoul pressing her like this, there was no avoiding it:

She was a monster.

“I see I have made a valid point. Well then, child? What will it be?” asked the ghoul.

...

“Ah’ll sooner turn into a ghoul mahself before Ah turn mah back on ya.”

Apple Bloom’s sister loved her, but she wouldn’t be around forever. Nor would her brother or grandmother. Nopony would. And the loneliness would hurt so much...

“You’re still my friend, Apple Bloom, undead or not.”

Her friends, they had problems of their own, but they weren’t like hers. They didn’t know the fears in her heart. They didn’t understand how horrible her future would be...

“Both, Ah reckon. Parents want nothing more than to see their children do well.”

And her parents… her parents…

...

...

What about those ponies she never knew?

What would they want her to do?

What should she do?

...

What would anypony do?

“...We’re just two awesome adventurers who happened to obtain almighty dark powers.”

Bear Bone and Kamikazi...

They were even worse off than she was, yet they kept on going as if nothing was wrong.

Could she be like them? Could she be that strong?

…

“This dream is not a nightmare, but a spark of hope that the world may be less terrifying than it appears to be.”

…

...

“No,” said Apple Bloom.

The ghoul looked down at her with a raised eyebrow.

“No, what?” he asked.

“No, ah won’t join ya. Ever. Ah may be a ghoul, but Ah ain’t one of you. Ah’ll never be OK with hurtin’ others to get what Ah want. And if you’re right and Ah never break mah curse, Ah’ll just keep movin’ forward and find somethin’ Ah can still do. Maybe help stop bad ponies like you from doin’ awful things,” said Apple Bloom with a determined glare.

“So you’ll willing spend eternity alone once all your friends are gone?” demanded the ghoul.

“Oh, me? I’m… uh... Crystal Hoof!”

“Then Ah’ll just make new ones. Ones that don’t want to unleash a mountain full of evil sludge!” declared Apple Bloom.

The ghoul glared down at her again, but Apple Bloom didn’t even flinch. Everypony she cared about, everything she knew, every experience she’d had over the last few months, it all finally came together to show her one ultimate truth: she would only be a monster if she chose to be one.

Buck her curse, buck being miserable, and buck this creep who wanted her to forget how much she mattered to her friends and family.

“I see,” said the ghoul with a sigh.

But then he smirked.

“A noble gesture, but the fact remains that you’re still coming with us. We still have you surrounded, and you have nowhere to go. Now why don’t you just come out of the ground so we don’t have to waste time digging you up?” he asked.

“You will do no such thing,” said a familiar voice.

Apple Bloom and the ghoul leader turned to look, only to see a spear pointed right at the ghoul’s face. Standing there was none other than Blue Monarch, her horn lit with magic. She was joined by a small army of changelings, all carrying spears and glaring at the ghoul leader with utter disgust.

“Well, well, well, look who decided to creep into Equestria again. Still not able to get that promotion? And it looks like you still have that bad habit of yours of lying through your teeth to get your way. I reckon you left a few crucial details out of your little story, as well. Such the part about how easy it is to teleport into the smooze seal, perhaps? Or maybe the fact that class C ghouls are immune to the smooze’s corruption in the first place,” said Blue Monarch.

The ghoul leader loudly cursed. Apple Bloom quickly realized what Blue Monarch was saying: the ghoul was lying about needing the smooze to die. Whatever they wanted it for, it was probably something far more sinister than their own demise.

She also promptly memorized the word he said. For personal use only, of course.

“Get lost, parasite! This brat is one of us, and she’s…” he started to speak.

“This child is under our protection. And seeing as we’ve already dealt with your companions, she will remain under it. In fact, considering how long she’s been cursed and how pathetic your comrades were, I suspect this little recruitment effort was a suicide mission from your higher ups to dispose of sub-performing agents. So why don’t you just surrender?” asked Blue Monarch.

The ghoul looked around, giving angry glares to everypony, before lighting his horn. He turned to look at Apple Bloom one more time before spitting at the ground near her head.

“To Tartarus I will!” he yelled as with a flash, he vanished.

Blue Monarch cursed.

“I see he’s been learning some new tricks. Spread out and sweep the forest, but do not engage. He may be a brown noser, but he’s still a class C ghoul,” commanded Blue Monarch.

The changelings all nodded before zooming off. Blue Monarch turned back to Apple Bloom as she pulled herself out of the ground.

“Nicely handled, Apple Bloom. I apologize for not having Scootaloo warn you that those creeps were in the area, but we didn’t think they were targeting you. And I’d rather not drag you into our war if it can be helped. I’m just glad Thorax was able to get us here before anything more serious happened,” said Blue Monarch.

Apple Bloom noticed Thorax standing nearby giving an awkward wave.

“It’s fine, Ah think. Thanks for the help, Thorax,” said Apple Bloom as she tried to regain her balance with her three remaining legs.

“If you’re worried about them making another run for you, don’t. The ghouls mostly operate outside Equestria's borders, and we’ll be upping our security in this area just in case. And after that little speech of yours, I doubt they’ll consider you prime recruiting material, anyway. How are you, by the way? He didn’t hurt you, did he?” asked Blue Monarch.

“No. Ah torn my leg off myself. Er… Ah don’t suppose you know how long it takes for a ghoul’s leg to grow back?” asked Apple Bloom.

“I do, but I think you’d rather have this,” said Blue Monarch as she levitated Apple Bloom’s missing leg towards her.

“Oh. Yeah, that’s loads better,” said Apple Bloom as she quickly reattached it. She then pulled off what remained of her costume and redid her bow.

“And I wasn’t talking about the leg, Apple Bloom. I know how that particular ghoul operates, planting doubts and making you forget about the joys in life,” said Blue Monarch.

Apple Bloom sighed.

“Yeah, he did say some things that hurt. He made me think stuff Ah really shouldn’t have. But ya know what? Ah think Ah’m better for it. It made me realize somethin’ important about myself. About what I’m goin’ to grow up to be despite mah problem. Kinda like tearin’ off a bandage, ya know?” said Apple Bloom.

Blue Monarch gave Apple Bloom a knowing smile.

“Well now. I’ll have to remember to bring this up if I ever run into that ghoul again. He’ll no doubt be delighted to know he helped convince a young ghoul to ‘reject her heritage,’” said Blue Monarch with a giggle.

Apple Bloom giggled as well, though it occurred to her that she had never learned the ghoul leader’s name.

“Say, what was…” she started.

“Apple Bloom!” cried Sweetie Belle as she rushed forward to hug Apple Bloom.

Though she almost lost her balance, Apple Bloom quickly returned the hug. She noticed that the rest of her friends had joined them as well.

“Glad to see you’re OK,” said Scootaloo with a relieved look on her face.

“Yeah. Even if Ah was totally right about somethin’ goin’ wrong,” said Babs.

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes.

“Uh huh. Sure thing, Babs,” she said with a shake of her head.

“So, uh… what do we do now?” asked Thorax.

“Well, me and the others are going to try and catch that creep, but for you little ones I think we’ll just escort you back to Ponyville. It’s still Nightmare Night, after all. It’d be a shame to let this incident ruin your holiday,” said Blue Monarch.

Apple Bloom smiled. A holiday devoted to celebrating the scary things in life, like her. She looked back at her friends, all so happy to see that she was safe. For the first time in months, she felt to her very core that she belong with them.

“Yeah, Ah think that’d be nice,” she said.

“This stinks,” complained one of the ghouls.

“Sorry. I forgot to take a shower before we left on this job,” replied another.

“How am I going to eat any brains if I’m a prisoner?” whined another.

“Well, they did reattach my head. Maybe they're friendly and they'll just let us go?” suggested the last one.

The changeling guarding the prisoners sighed.

“I can see why they just threw these guys at our hooves. Anything they tell us is going to be questionable at best or a trap at worst. And I think my brain cells are dying from merely standing near them,” he mumbled.

Author's Note

I hope this chapter wasn't too intense for a SOL comedy. I've been planning something like this since I first started writing this story. It was meant to be this big moment where everything Apple Bloom's gone through the last few months comes together and she finally finds peace with her condition. I hope my amateur writing skills did it justice.

As for the ghoul leader's name: meh. He's not coming back and I don't think that guy deserves one. Maybe GSTBG: Generic Smooth Talking Bad Guy.

And I once again apologize for my horrible attempt at a New York accent.

Chapter 15: Going Bug or Bird?

The queen of the Cloudsdale hive called for a meeting. Every changeling, including those living elsewhere, were to make their way to the royal council room and participate. The only exceptions were the guards on active duty, and Twitch.

About a hundred or so showed up.

This was unsurprising considering that said council room wasn’t big enough to fit much more. And when you have a hivemind, things like physical presence aren’t exactly required to attend.

This is so exciting! A hive-wide meeting! The last time the Cloudsdale hive had one of these we weren’t even born yet! exclaimed Beetle.

Calm down, Beetle. We already know what this is about,said Lynx.

Eh, let him gush. It’ll help him stay quiet when he’s supposed to,said Poppy.

Yeah, because the rest of us are definitely going to contain ourselves the entire time,snarked Uno.

Scootaloo mentally rolled her eyes. Even when history was being made in front of them, her siblings were still going at it.

Speak for yourself. I for one am busy setting up a little surprise for the first changeling to leave the meeting,added Twitch.

That’d be impressive considering you’re grounded again, and mom set up some guards to make sure you don’t sneak your buggy hide out of your room,said Dove.

Yeah. You’ve never managed to get past them before, and today will be no different,said Goose.

Are you sure about that?taunted Twitch.

There was some nervous muttering at that announcement.

Nopony check in on him. He’s probably trying to trick us into looking at one of those disturbing magazines again,said Uno.

A moment later, Goose started retching.

Why does she never listen to me? complained Uno.

Finally, every changeling in the hive felt a call to attention. Everyone immediately shut up (yes, even Twitch), and turned towards the front of the council room. A moment later, the royal changelings of the hive appeared.

As was tradition, the three princesses entered first: Blue Monarch and her sisters Red Velvet and Green Glow. They were nearly identical aside from their colors, as was typical of royal changelings. They all smiled and waved at the crowd as they took their seats. The changelings before them were their children, after all. They were princesses, but more than that they were mothers.

And judging by the wince on Red Velvet’s face as she sat down, they were still in the middle of their latest prank war. Hopefully the vanilla pudding now leaking down her chair was a point to team Blue.

Everyone's attention turned back to the entrance as queen Ptera IV herself entered and looked at the crowd with professionalism. While her body was similar to the princesses, her violet chitin was notably darker, and her posture was far more regal. She took her seat without so much as a grin. She was the matriarch of everyone present, but as queen her first priority was the hive itself. She did genuinely care for her subjects, but for her, business came first.

Needless to say, changelings don’t get many hugs from their grandmothers.

The queen cleared her throat.

“Thank you all for coming. We are all aware of what this is about, so I’ll just get straight to the point and keep this meeting brief,” she said.

There was some muttering at this, but no one objected.

Good. I need to get started on that cabbage for dinner tonight, added Butter.

“As you are all undoubtedly aware, we have recently finalized negotiations with the Equestrian crown. While the details shall be available for public viewing shortly, I feel it necessary to directly and vocally address two of the more pressing details, and what they imply for the future of our species,” continued the queen.

There were several groans from a few less than subtle changelings at this announcement.

Five bits says it’s about something needlessly paranoid and cautious,said Lynx.

No deal. Too likely,replied Beetle.

“The first of which is the fact that starting tomorrow, changelings will be formally recognized as citizens of Equestria. And while we will no longer be required to mask our true forms from...” the queen paused as the hivemind erupted with cheers from happy changelings.

Scootaloo herself was among them. After all these years of living in fear of discovery, it was over. She didn’t have to keep her secret anymore. She could…

The queen banged her hoof a few times. The cheering and chatter quieted down.

“Yes, this is indeed exciting news. This is the start of a new age for changelingkind. However, this is not an indication that all our problems are over. I must remind you all that there is a reason why we have lived in hiding for so long. Ponies have changed a great deal since we first escaped our vile prison, but there are still those who cling to prejudice and intolerance. There will be those who despise us for our corrupted nature. We may be free to be ourselves, but in doing so we invite others to judge us for who we are,” said the queen.

The muttering returned, now somewhat annoyed.

Great. The “we are outcasts” speech again, groaned Uno.

And on today of all days, too, added Scootaloo.

“This problem will not be solved quickly. And indeed, there will always be those who will reject us. Our generation faces the challenge of proving that our species can peacefully live among ponies. It will not be easy, but we must not allow ourselves to be driven to anger or violence. We are now citizens of Equestria. This means we now adhere to the same laws,” said the queen.

More than a few changelings in the crowd rolled their eyes. Discreetly, of course.

And there’s the part about the ponies that are going to despise our guts. Of course there’s going to be haters. But I doubt there’s going to be too many of them after they realize how long we’ve been living peacefully with ponies in secret,commented Beetle.

For now, at least. I bet that’ll change real fast if Twitch ever leaves the hive, added Poppy.

The entire clutch mentally glared at Twitch. He replied with a raspberry.

I think she’s just being extra cautious as usual. Making sure that we all realize what’s at stake if we do run into somepony like that,answered Uno.

Yeah. I can think a lot of ponies who are nothing like that, and only two who are, added Scootaloo.

The queen cleared her throat again. Scootaloo turned her attention back towards her.

“The other matter I wish to address is regarding our disguises. As you all know, until today it has been illegal for changelings to reveal themselves without good reason. My fellow queens and I have agreed that this law needed to be changed. However, it has not been removed entirely,” said the queen.

This led to more muttering, with a fair amount of confusion. Scootaloo’s siblings were surprisingly quiet, unsure what to make of this yet.

“As part of our agreement with Equestria, we have provided the Princesses with the identities of every disguised changeling in the nation. They have elected to keep this information to themselves barring any major crisis or criminal activity. What this means is that while the crown will have an easier time finding… problematic individuals, our network of changelings living outside the hives remains hidden from the populace,” explained the queen.

“Which brings me back to the law of disguises. While it is no longer unlawful to reveal yourself, it remains illegal to reveal another changeling. As I have just stated, changelings who choose to reveal themselves will likely face hardships for doing so. Any changeling who does not wish to contend with such matters may simply maintain their disguise and continue with their lives as if nothing has changed,” said the queen.

Surprisingly, no one started chatting at this announcement.

“I hereby make this official declaration: all changelings, regardless of age, location, or any other factor, must decide for themselves whether they wish to live their lives as public changelings in Equestria, or as disguised ponies. Please bear in mind that there is no correct answer to this decision. I advise you all to look at what you have now, and what your current identity means to you,” declared the queen.

The muttering returned, though it seemed a little less… whiny than before.

“There is, of course, much more to the situation that these two factors, but you can all learn the details for yourselves at your own time. The issue with our disguises simply needed to be addressed before the official decree by the Equestria Crown to prevent easily avoidable incidents. With that said and done, I declare this meeting concluded. Thank you for your time,” finished the queen as she got up and left.

Seeing that that surprisingly short meeting was already over, Scootaloo let her mind slip back to her body, lying on her bed at home.

OK, I didn’t see that coming, said Uno.

Yeah. I thought for sure the disguise law would been completely demolished. But why did the queen call for a hive-wide meeting just to tell us this? Most of us live in the hive, after all, asked Butter.

Well, a lot of changelings don’t, and she wanted to make sure we all got the message before tomorrow. And besides, I think we’re going to be getting visitors soon. I overheard mom talking about possible tourism, answered Poppy.

That makes sense. She wants to make sure nopony lets something slip while we have company,said Uno.

What I want to know is why she didn’t mention anything about the ghouls. I’m pretty sure part of the negotiations was finding a way for changelings and ponies to work together to fight them, said Lynx.

That’s military stuff. The queen’s not going to waste everypony’s time with something that only the guards need to care about,commented Dove.

I care, mumbled Lynx.

And none of us care that you care, so who cares if you care or don’t care? So if you care about our caring, would you care to not care about...added Twitch.

Shut up, Twitch, said everyone else in the clutch.

Twitch responded with a cackle.

Anyways, what about you, Scootaloo? You’re living among ponies. What are you planning to do about this? asked Beetle.

Well, of course I’m… Scootaloo trailed off as she realized something.

She’d never thought about this part before.

You’re what, Scoots?asked Uno.

I’m… not sure, admitted Scootaloo.

Scootaloo found the official announcement on the town hall bulletin board. It was also available on fliers around town, but that was besides the point.

By Decree of their Royal Highnesses Celestia and Luna:

In light of the invasion that took place during the royal wedding, we have conducted an extensive investigation into these changelings. Our efforts have revealed an astonishing truth: the invasion was the result of an outcast of their society, and they were just as horrified by her actions as we were.

Over the last several months, we have endeavored to learn more about changelings, and...

Scootaloo skimmed over the rest. It was more or less just stuff she already knew mixed with a repeat of what the Queen had told her yesterday, though directed at ponies. There was a call to be better ponies, to not let fear of the unknown control one’s behavior, to show love and trust to their new neighbors, etc, etc.

Interestingly, there was also a small note on changelings and ponies having a common heritage, but nothing about the flutter ponies or the smooze. There was probably some political move behind it, but Scootaloo honestly didn’t care enough to ask her mom. Seriously: buck politics.

Regardless, it was official now: Changelings were citizens of Equestria. And now that the big world-changing event had finally happened, Scootaloo wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about it. She’d spent the last few months so excited that this was finally happening that she’d never stopped and considered what it would mean for her as an individual.

She wasn’t scared of course. She’d heard her queen’s speeches too many times to let the fear of rejection hold her back. And after Zecora, Ponyville ponies knew perfectly well not to judge by appearances. Well, most of them, but the few who didn’t hardly mattered. The issue wasn’t about how ponies would treat her. It was about how she would live her life from this point forward.

She’d spent so many years learning how to be a pegasus. And now she had to option of not bothering anymore. True, nopony had any idea what it live as a changeling in public yet, but it couldn’t be that difficult. But was that what Scootaloo wanted? And what about her flying lessons with...

“Excuse me,” said a gentle voice.

Scootaloo jumped and turned to see Mayor Mare holding a sheet of paper.

“I’d hate to interrupt your moment of deep reflection, but I need to post this on the bulletin board. Would you mind stepping aside for a moment?” asked the mayor.

Scootaloo blushed as she realized how suspicious it was for her to be brooding in front of the royal decree about changelings.

“Right, sorry,” said Scootaloo as she trotted out of the way.

Mayor Mare pinned the document to the board, then turned and left. Curious, Scootaloo looked at the new document.

To any changeling in Ponyville who wishes to reveal him or herself, there will be an official meeting in town hall this evening at 8 o’clock. Not all changelings need to attend, but I believe an open forum for changelings to show us their true forms and answer any questions may help prevent rumors and wild accusations from becoming widespread.

-Mayor Mare.

“Eh, makes sense I guess. I bet the Flower Trio’s already started hearing rumors that changelings drink blood or something stupid like that and spreading them like wildfire,” Scootaloo said with a shrug.

Though now she had to consider whether she wanted to attend or not, but she could worry about that later. She had a flying lesson to get to. If it would still be a flying lesson by the time she got there.

“Hey, Scoots! I heard the big news! You’re a full-fledged citizen now!” said Rainbow as she flew down to meet Scootaloo at their secret training hill.

Well, not so much secret as simply far enough from town that they could talk openly without being overheard. Especially since this was where they had their sappy “sister” bonding moments. Neither of them wanted to be seen doing anything like that.

Scootaloo let out a small sigh.

“Yeah. Though I’m not sure what to make of it all just yet,” admitted Scootaloo.

“I hear ya. These things are always kind of awkward at first. Remember when Luna took back her crown? Nopony knew what to think at the time, but now it’s hard to remember what it was like with only one Princess in Canterlot,” said Rainbow.

Scootaloo blinked at Rainbow’s surprising bit of insight. It was also a welcome distraction.

“Oh yeah. Now that you mention it, there’s been a lot of world changing things happening lately. Princess Luna, the Crystal Empire, and now this. You think anything else is going to happen?” asked Scootaloo.

“Me and the girls actually have a betting pool going on about it. Twilight expects another long lost civilization reconnecting with Equestria, Pinkie thinks some fictional character will turn out to be real, Rarity’s convinced we’ll have another princess appearing out of nowhere, Applejack thinks another ancient evil is going to show up, Fluttershy’s betting on some kind of parallel dimension thing happening, and my money’s on an alien invasion,” said Rainbow.

“Really? Aliens?” asked Scootaloo with a raised eyebrow.

“I learned my lesson the last time we had a betting pool: never bet against Pinkie Pie. Ever. And if someone fictional is going to turn out to be real, it’s probably going to be from some science fiction thing. We already have a robot in town with no clue why, after all, so aliens seem like a safe bet,” responded Rainbow with a shrug.

Scootaloo had to admit she had a point there.

“Anyways, how about we get to our lesson? I had an idea the other day about focusing your magic and…” Rainbow trailed off as she noticed Scootaloo letting out another sigh.

That had been enough sidetracking. She needed to bring this up before she lost her nerve entirely.

“About that. Are we… still going to have flying lessons?” asked Scootaloo.

“Uh… Come again?” asked Rainbow with a confused look.

“Well, you know I can fly perfectly fine without my disguise. And, well, if I decide to stop being a pegasus then... Well, there’s not much point in you teaching me how to fly like one, right?” asked Scootaloo.

Rainbow Dash blinked in surprise before giving an ‘ah’ of understanding.

“Oh, right. I didn’t think about that. It makes sense though. But if you haven’t made up your mind yet, I say we keep up the lessons. No harm in more practice doing it pegasus style, right?” suggested Rainbow.

“Yeah, I guess. But.. if I do chose to just be a changeling then... “ Scootaloo trailed off, uncertain how to put her feelings into words that didn’t make her sound like a baby.

She didn’t need to though. After all the time the two had spent together, Rainbow knew the little changeling well enough to see what was bothering her.

“Then we turn these flying lessons into flying sessions, and you become my flying buddy instead of my student. Don’t worry, Scoots. I won’t stop hanging out with you just because you decide you want to fly the buggy way. You’re too awesome not to spend time with,” reassured Rainbow with a smile.

Scootaloo let out a sigh of relief.

You know, as much as you fanfilly over that pegasus, you seem to always assume the worst about her,noted Dove.

Scootaloo ignored her sister.

“You know what? Why don’t we skip the lesson today and do just that? Let you stretch your wings in the air for a change. We can worry about the sappy stuff after,” suggested Rainbow.

Scootaloo’s eyes grew wide the thought of flying with her idol, and she quickly dropped her disguise.

While it wasn’t quite the best day of Scootaloo’s life, it was certainly proving to be one of the better ones. She was flying with Rainbow Dash!

They couldn’t race or anything. Rainbow was simply too skilled, and Changeling wings were nowhere near as powerful as pegasus ones. But that didn't stop the two of them from enjoying themselves. There was more to being awesome in the sky than just speed, after all.

“OK, now let’s see some flips,” called Rainbow.

Scootaloo nodded and, with a rapid flutter of her wings, performed a perfect mid-air triple backflip.

“Awesome! I don’t think even I could pull a flip that tight without pulling something, let alone three!” cheered Rainbow.

“Well, yeah. Insect wings are kind of made for rapid turning and control. Not so much for speed or making gusts of wind,” replied Scootaloo with a blush.

“Which is all the more reason why I think you should learn how to fly as a pegasus, even if you decide to go full-time changeling. You never know when you’ll need to really pick up the pace, you know?” said Rainbow.

Scootaloo nodded. That was certainly another point to consider.

“Right. Now how about we try…”

Scootaloo smiled as she looked down over the edge of the cloud she was sitting on. It was always a treat when she had an excuse to fly this high and enjoy the view. So many pegasi just took this sort of thing for granted. Though if she decided to stay a changeling, she’d be able to do this all time.

And that made yet another factor to consider in her decision. It seemed like the more time that passed, the more complicated the choice became.

Scootaloo shook her head and turned back to taking in the sights. A moment later, Rainbow came zooming towards her, popsicles in hoof.

“And, bam. To my house for the bits, then Sugarcube Corner for the goods, and finally back here in less than two minutes. Not bad considering I was only cruising. So, strawberry or lemon?” asked Rainbow as she offered a popsicle.

“Strawberry,” answered Scootaloo as she took her piece of frozen paradise.

The two just sat there on the cloud in silence for a bit, enjoying their popsicles. That was just how the two of them prefered it. Chillaxing with each other’s company was so much cooler than talking about boring life stuff or gossiping about hot stallions.

They’d tried that once. It had gotten really awkward when it was apparent that Scootaloo knew more about stallions in that regard then Rainbow did. Scootaloo blamed her siblings for that. And that one aunt who kept bringing inappropriate magazines to the hive. They always seemed to make their way to Twitch, who didn’t read them himself.

Still, even awesome ponies like them needed to have heart to hearts from time to time. And this was obviously one of those times.

“So, you have to choose between living as a pegasus or a changeling, right?” asked Rainbow.

Rainbow was as blunt and to the point as ever.

“Well, I could become a unicorn or earth pony too, but yeah,” replied Scootaloo.

“I’ll be honest, Scoots. I’m having trouble seeing the problem. It’s not like deciding to show everypony you're a changeling means you can never put on your pegasus disguise again,” said Rainbow.

Scootaloo held back a wince. She could see where this conversation was going, and she was hoping to avoid that.

“That’s not it. It’s more of... do I want to live my life as Scootaloo the pegasus, or Scootaloo the changeling? I kind of want to do both, but once I go public, that’s it. Everypony will know I’m not really a pegasus, and...” Scootaloo’s voice trailed off.

Scootaloo didn’t want to say it.

“So what? I gave the changelings a chance to prove themselves. And if I, the pony who called Twilight Sparkle a spy once, can do that, then I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” said Rainbow.

Scootaloo cringed. She was going to have to say it.

“It’s not about that either. I’m just concerned because... well…. I just… I don’t know what I want to do with myself,” Scootaloo admitted.

Rainbow looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“You don’t know what you want to do with yourself? That’s the issue?” asked Rainbow.

Scootaloo held back a groan. It sounded even stupider when Rainbow Dash said it. And now Rainbow probably thought she was less cool.

“Last time I checked, Scoots, you still don’t have your cutie mark yet,” said Rainbow.

This statement banished Scootaloo’s fear and replaced it with confusion.

“Well, yeah. But what does that have to do with deciding to be a pegasus or a changeling?” asked Scootaloo.

Rainbow Dash blinked before she let out a soft groan and put a hoof to her face.

“OK, so maybe the two aren’t exactly related, but I’m trying to make a point here without it sounding lame. And you know how bad I am with fancy word things like meta-phones or whatever they’re called,” admitted Rainbow.

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow.

“You know you don’t have to…” she started to say.

“Hey, I’m trying to be a mentor here. Good mentors are all about these fancy teaching speech things, so I got to pull off at least one. And the point I’m trying to tell you is about making big choices, Scootaloo,” said Rainbow.

Now Scootaloo was even more confused.

“Of course you don’t know what to do with yourself. You don’t even know what your special talent is. Yeah, choosing your species is kind of a big deal, but is it any different than choosing your cutie mark? Didn’t you once tell me that even if the mark doesn’t appear, changelings always know when they’ve found it?” asked Rainbow.

Scootaloo nodded.

“Well, this is just another part of the same thing. It’s not just a changeling thing, it’s a part of growing up: finding out your place in the world. Everypony goes through this. And getting your cutie mark is only a step, a big step maybe but still only a step, in that process. Finding your place is something you spend your whole life doing, not deciding in an afternoon,” said Rainbow.

Once again, Scootaloo was impressed how deep her idol could be when the mood fit her. This didn’t happen very often.

Still, Scootaloo had to admit Rainbow’s little speech made her feel a little better. Maybe Rainbow was better at being a mentor than she thought.

“I think I get what you’re saying. I don’t know what I want to grow up to be yet, so of course I don’t know what species I want to be either. And when I do chose, I won’t know it’s the right choice for a long time. I just have to pick what I think is best and see if it works out,” said Scootaloo.

Rainbow rubbed the back of her head with a nervous chuckle that Scootaloo didn’t notice.

“Yeah… exactly. I was totally trying to say that, not just telling you to be patient and… stuff. Yep. Now are you going to finish that popsicle, or let it start melting over your hoof?” asked Rainbow.

“Hey, I’m eating it. I’m just being careful. Changelings are more vulnerable to brain freeze,” objected Scootaloo.

“That’s never stopped you before,” countered Rainbow.

“Maybe I just decided I was sick of the pain?” said Scootaloo.

“Uh huh, sure, and I just decided I’m sick of spending my bits on you, you freeloader,” said Rainbow with an eyeroll and a playful jab.

Scootaloo laughed.

Later that day, after spending some time thinking about the pros and cons of her options, Scootaloo made her way to the clubhouse. She arrived to find it a bit more crowded than expected.

“Huh. I thought you were taking the train back to Manehattan this morning, Babs,” noted Scootaloo.

“Eh, it’s still the weekend, and I got a letter in the mail today. This whole changeling business’s gettin’ a little out of hoof in Manehattan, and it’s makin’ mah ma all nervous. She figured it’d be best if I stay out of the city till things quiet down a bit,” said Babs with a shrug.

Scootaloo winced.

“Yeah, the Manehattan hive is known for being a bit crazy at times. I guess we should have seen this coming,” Scootaloo apologized.

“Wait a minute, your mom thinks you’ll be safe in Ponyville, of all places?” asked Sweetie Belle with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, I’m kind of here right now anyway, and we’ve already had our inevitable disaster during Nightmare Night. But honestly, I think it has more to do with the fact she still thinks I’m a vampire,” deadpanned Babs.

“Oh, yeah,” said Sweetie Belle with a blush.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes and turned toward the other non-CMC member in the clubhouse.

“Hey, Thorax. How you holding up? Ready to make your big debut?” she asked.

Thorax let out a small sigh, but his expression was calm.

“I’m nervous, but not as worried as I’d thought I’d be. I don’t have to leave for Canterlot until tomorrow morning, and after these last few months, I think I’m ready. I am going to miss you girls, though,” he said with a sad smile.

“We were glad to have ya, Thorax. But now that Ah think about it, how does goin’ to grade school help prepare ya for bein’ an ambassador?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Well, it was more for getting some general education than work experience, but apparently the only difference between elementary students and nobles is the amount of clothes they wear, and how often they use strong language,” said Thorax.

“Let me guess, we kids swear more often than the adults?” asked Babs with a smirk.

“I didn’t say swearing. I said strong language. Because running their mouths is the only thing nobles do for exercise,” said Thorax with an awkward smile.

There was some giggles at that. Thorax had come a long way from the terrified changeling who had joined them. He was still a bit on the timid side, but definitely much more confident.

“In all seriousness though, I’ve been getting plenty of tutoring outside the classroom. And it’s not like I’m going to be the only changeling ambassador in Canterlot. I’m just the neutral one that isn’t tied to any particular hive. I’m not even going to be part of a hivemind once I get there,” answered Thorax.

Scootaloo wasn’t sure how a changeling could survive without a hivemind, but then again ponies did it just fine their whole lives, and Chrysalis’ hivemind could not have been pleasant to be a part of. And Thorax didn’t seem to mind that much…

Scootaloo shook her head. It had been his choice to make in the first place, and he’d been willing to go through with it. It wasn’t her place to question his life choices. Besides, she had something else she needed to ask him about.

“So, about that meeting at town hall tonight...” started Scootaloo.

Thorax nodded.

“Yeah. I’ve put some thought into it, and I decided I’m going to attend. I mean, I’m going to be leaving anyway, so no reason to keep it hidden. Everypony in town should learn that I was a changeling at some point, and this seems like a nice and easy place to do it. What about you, Scootaloo?” asked Thorax.

Scootaloo smiled.

“So… changelings don’t drink blood?” asked Lily.

One of the changelings on the stage sighed.

“No, we don’t drink blood, or devour souls, or anything else like that. And if we feed on love directed at us, it has no negative effect on whoever we’re feeding on,” he said for the fourth time.

“OK, just making sure,” said Lily with a sigh of relief.

Again.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes.

“Alright, next question,” said Thorax from the changeling’s left.

“So, you mentioned that your old queen’s been arrested. If you’re going to Canterlot, what exactly happened to the rest of your hive?” asked another pony in the crowd.

“Well, we’ve been mostly divided among the other hives and slowly adjusting to living under queens that are not power-hungry tyrants. A few of us, however, have decided to set out on our own. My brother Pharynx, for example, is currently in Canterlot, hoping to become the first changeling in the royal guard,” answered Thorax.

“So no changeling ever joined the guard while disguised?” asked another pony.

“Well, we’re not really supposed to give away who other changelings are disguised as, so I can’t say either way. He’s definitely the first public changeling to go for it, though,” Thorax admitted with idol hooves.

And so it continued, ponies trying to learn more about these strange and surprisingly colorful beings. It was going pretty smoothly, all things considered. No blatant insults or accusations were thrown towards the changelings. There had been a few surprising revelations on who was a changeling, though.

“So you’ve really been a changeling the whole time we knew each other?” asked Lyra, looking at one changeling in particular.

Bon Bon facehoved.

“I think it’s rather obvious that’s the case, Lyra. Must you ask such redundant questions?” she grumbled.

The changeling on stage giggled, but nodded.

“It’s alright. This is Lyra we’re talking about, after all,” said Colgate with a fanged grin.

Of course, there were still a few hiccups. There were some downright stupid and insulting questions, but nothing worse than expected. Spoiled Rich had made a scene, but everyone, pony and changeling, had seen it coming and quickly dismissed everything she’d said after she’d stormed out. And more than one mother had been concerned about a grown changeling going to school with their kids, but Thorax’s timid nature had quickly won them over.

So, all in all, it was proving to be a successful event. Scootaloo herself, however, was attending the meeting more out of respect that anything else. After all, she had chosen to sit in the crowd.

In the end, she’d decided that she was going to remain a pegasus for the time being. She couldn’t say what single factor had tipped the scales, but she felt that this was the best choice. Time would tell if she was right or not, but for now a pegasus she would stay.

I’m glad to see that you were able to make this decision on your own, my little firefly,said Blue Monarch.

Well, yeah. I’m not a baby mom. I’m more than capable of making important decisions. I just needed some advice and time to help me see this from as many angles as possible, replied Scootaloo.

Blue Monarch didn’t reply with words, but her nod of approval could be felt through the hivemind.

Could have fooled me about the baby part, little Scooty,commented Dove.

Scootaloo held back a groan. Not this again.

Shut it, Dove. I’m not getting into another argument about how a matter of seconds makes me the baby sister. I’m not even the youngest in the clutch, countered Scoots.

But it does! And you’ll always be a baby to me,said Dove with a sneer just oozing from her voice.

And so began round twenty six of the older/younger sibling technicality debate.

Blue Monarch giggled as she listened to her children arguing again. This group of little ones still had a lot of maturing to do.

Oh, to be old enough to see the world changing, but young enough to able to overcome the challenges these changes bring with simple, clear answers. Such a beautiful time to be alive when thousands of years of tradition are uprooted.

Ah well, her little Firefly and her siblings would grown up soon enough. They always did seem to become adults so quickly.

Unlike certain changelings, she thought to herself as she turned back to her bedsheet, stained a moldy green by one of her sisters.

Really? Colored water on my bed? At least give it an unpleasant scent as well if you’re going to try this stunt! I do believe my sisters have no inspiration what so ever. Well, three can play the lazy game. I still have some itching powder lying around, she thought with a giggle.

Author's Note

Another chapter I'm not entirely happy with. I certainly learned something writing this: it's kind of hard to wrap up a character's internal struggle when there was never a struggle in the first place. I really hope this doesn't come off as shoehorned in.

On the bright side, you might have noticed from the character rotation that the next chapter is the big one. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. The big one. So big I've been looking forward to writing it since I first came up with this story. So big I'm probably going to have to make it a two-parter. Oh yes, this shall be a fun month for me...

And I apologize to all individuals reading this with better grammar sense than me. I am fully aware that it's idle, not idol. I just couldn't resist the golden opportunity for a reference.

Chapter 17: The Origin of Sweetie Bot Part 2

We interrupt this chapter to make an unfortunate announcement. The author of this story appears to have suffered a mental breakdown and, despite knowing perfectly well that this would be a bad idea, has included a stupidly high number of references in this chapter. Proceed at your own risk.

Sweetie Belle, being a proud bookworm, had read a great deal of science fiction. She knew all kinds of possible “distant futures” Equestria might one day face, from space faring civilizations to dystopian nightmares. And that was before she found out she was a robot, and started paying closer attention to the little details in the hope of finding some sort of clue.

So, when she looked out and saw what the future was really going to be like one day, she thought it was…

It was…

Wait, what?

Sweetie Belle shook her head and looked around in confusion. She and her friends were in some kind of building that looked no different than any other fancy business building from her own time, except that there were no windows.

Sweetie Belle had no idea how she’d gotten there.

The only indication that they were still in the future was that Dr. Brown was with them. He quickly put some sort of silver cylinder he was holding into his saddlebag.

“Uh… what just happened?” she asked.

She and her friends all looked at Dr Brown for an explanation.

“We finished a short flight across town, and just entered the central T.I.M.E. building,” answered Dr. Brown.

“Yeah, but… I could have sworn we were just stepping out of that cave,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yes, well, that tends to happen when you have your memories erased,” replied Dr. Brown.

Sweetie Belle’s eyes grew wide at the implications.

“T.I.M.E. rules, I’m afraid. It’s known as the Spoiler Policy. Can’t let you girls take any foreknowledge back with you that might cause problems later on. And unfortunately, a taxi ride across town is far too likely to expose you four to something, so the memory of the journey had to be removed. It’s a shame, I know. You were really impressed by… well, it would defeat the purpose if I reminded you,” said Dr. Brown with a sad shake of his head.

Sweetie Belle and her friends shared an uncertain look.

“OK, Ah can see how certain information could be dangerous like that, but do ya really think…” started Babs Seed.

“Yes. It’s happened before, and we have no desire to repeat the incident. It almost created a dystopian future built on gambling, and almost cost me my job even though I was not directly responsible. All because somepony noticed and happened to remember a date on a newspaper. It’s also why your changeling friend has been unable to connect to any current hiveminds,” said Dr. Brown.

Sweetie Belle blinked in surprise, but then remembered that changelings had become citizens over a thousand years ago from Dr. Brown’s perspective. He probably knew ways to recognize one.

“Oh. So that’s why I’m only picking up whispers of ‘stay out’ and ‘sorry,’” mumbled Scootaloo.

“Precisely. Now please follow me to my office before someone important happens to arrive and I have to wipe your memories again,” said Dr. Brown as he turned and started walking.

Babs let out a sigh, but didn’t push the matter further as the four fillies followed after the brown stallion.

Sweetie Belle gulped as her nerves were once again set on edge. Every step forward took her closer and closer to… whatever the hay her story was. Was she going to watch herself be assembled? Some horrifying process to turn a living pony into a machine, bit by bit? Or maybe something even more disturbing like…

Sweetie Belle shook her head. She needed a distraction. She tried to remember whatever Dr. Brown had removed from her memories, but other than vague concepts of giant metal building and flying metal chariots, she couldn’t recall anything. She quickly let it go, however, when she realized that the beings they walked past gave her plenty to think about.

There were ponies with bright screens floating in front of them as they walked, coming from glowing lines on their forelegs. There were weird bipedal creatures that looked like someone had fused a minotaur with a monkey. And most of all, there were robots. Lots of robots. Big robots that floated by with many spider-like legs, tiny robots that looked like black toasters rolling along the ground, and, what really caught Sweetie Belle’s attention, robots that looked like ponies.

“GOOD AFTERNOON, DR. BROWN,” said one such robot that was painted a shiny gold.

“Afternoon, CP. Sorry, can’t talk right now, very busy,” said Dr. Brown, not even stopping.

“ACKNOWLEDGED. HAVE A PLEASANT DAY, DOCTOR,” said CP.

Sweetie Belle gave the robot a closer look as she passed it. There were some similarities to the robot she saw in the mirror back home, but there was also a lot of differences, and not just the fact that CP was the size of an adult pony and painted gold. Greaves and openings that didn’t quite match up, for example. Clearly, CP was a completely different model than Sweetie Belle.

That thought gave Sweetie Belle pause, as a terrifying idea popped into her head.

This might not actually be the future. At least, for me. This might be the present, and I was sent to the past instead. Is… is this my time? ” thought Sweetie Belle.

“Um… Dr. Brown?” she asked.

Dr. Brown stopped and turned to face her.

“Yes?” he asked.

“Uh… when you said you’d be sending us back to our own time… did you mean…” Sweetie Belle started to ask.

Dr. Brown chuckled and gave a reassuring smile.

“That included you, Sweetie Belle. Your body may exist because of this time period, but you don’t really belong here anymore than your friends. Rest assured, you will be back home with them once we’re finished here,” said Dr. Brown with a wave of his hoof.

Sweetie Belle let out a sigh of relief as that particular fear was quickly dismissed.

“Are you scared, my dear?” asked Dr. Brown.

Sweetie Belle winced, but nodded.

“Yeah, I guess I am. I’ve been looking for answers for so long, and now that the big day has arrived…” Sweetie Belle’s voice trailed off.

“I understand. Let me assure you, you have nothing to be scared of. You’re not part of some big evil plan to take over the world, you’re not a replacement for some poor innocent filly, and you’re not about to be shut down for knowing too much,” reassured Dr. Brown.

Sweetie Belle blinked. She had not considered that last possibility. But now that she had, she was grateful that he’d said that was not the case.

“I also understand you’re eager to get your answers despite your fear, but I hope that after several months of waiting, you can handle a few more minutes to reach my office so I can lay everything out in front of you before we see it actually happen,” said Dr. Brown.

“Speakin’ of waitin’, why the hay did y’all wait several months before bringin’ us here?” asked Apple Bloom.

Dr. Brown gave an awkward cough, but turned to face Apple Bloom with a calm expression.

“Several reasons, the first and most prominent being that we needed to follow certain rules. As I said, time travel is risky business, and you have to do it properly or disaster may strike,” explained Dr. Brown.

Sweetie Belle’s friends all raised eyebrows at that.

“That sounds like the most generic excuse to not have to explain time travel I’ve ever heard,” replied Scootaloo.

“It is, but time paradoxes are no joke, and you need at least two doctorates to understand a word of how time travel works. And for the record, yes, we might have been able to contact you sooner, but that would have risked being detected when we set up the M.O.R.P.H., sent you the letter, and several other matters. And in this line of work, you do everything in your power to avoid risks.” replied Dr. Brown with a shrug.

The girls sighed, but let the matter drop once again.

They reached Dr. Brown’s office without incident. It was fairly unremarkable, as far as offices go, though it did have clear signs that this was an office a thousand years into the future. Hologram images floated off his desk, a large metal device with some kind of typewriter attached, and his bookshelves seemed to have more weird metal sheets than actual books.

“Hm… I could have sworn I left your file on my desk beforehoof. The maid bots must be getting overly motherly again. Alright, take a seat and give me a second to pull your file,” said Dr. Brown as he started searching one of the bookcases.

There were several seats in front of Dr. Brown’s desk. Seeing no reason to just stand around, the four of them sat down.

“Anyone else feel like we’ve been called to the principal’s office?” asked Babs in a hushed whisper.

“Well, we don’t really have a principal at the Ponyville schoolhouse, so Ah don’t think we can say either way. But how do ya know what that feels like?” Apple Bloom whispered back.

“It was only once, and it wasn’t my fault,” mumbled Babs with a blush.

As they sat there, Sweetie Belle noticed that Dr. Brown’s office actually had a window. Her curiousity got the better of her, and she peered out. Unfortunately, from her angle she couldn’t see anything aside from a large holographic billboard on the building across the street. And she wasn’t sure what to make of the ads it was displaying.

Pie Flavored Pie: The classic dessert for classic appetites! Visit our website at for more!

Friday the 13th: Part CXXI: Now in Theaters!

Got Tartarus Spawn? They’re DOOMED! Call 1-800-DOOMGUY for a free quote!

Sweetie Belle was suddenly much more OK with the whole no-spoilers thing. She did not want to know why demon invasions would become common place enough to warrant a pest-control service. She did want to know what in Equestria pie flavor tasted like, though.

“Ah, here we are,” said Dr. Brown as he took one of the strange metal sheets off the shelf before making his way to his seat and sitting down.

“Alright, now I believe it’d be more efficient for me to simply tell you the whole story from the start and answer any questions you have after I’ve finished. Does that sound fair?” he asked.

Sweetie Belle nodded, and her friends followed suit.

This was it.

“To start, I should mention that you were not built, Sweetie Belle. You are not some sort of machine designed to resemble a normal pony, or anything of the sort. You were born just like any other flesh and blood foal. Your mother and father are your biological relatives, and the same is true for your sister,” started Dr. Brown.

“But then how…” started Sweetie Belle.

“Ah, you said you’d let me tell the whole story first,” reminded Dr. Brown.

Sweetie Belle closed her mouth.

“As I was saying, you were born a living pony. And for the first five years of your life, this remained true. But a few weeks after your fifth birthday, things got tricky,” said Dr. Brown.

Dr. Brown then tapped the metal sheet. It lit up, casting a projection into the air, which displaced a large red line, with split into two lines in the middle.

“This is where time travel come into play and, needless to say, I can not explain everything in full detail. For our purposes, let’s just say that this whole affair involves two different timelines, splitting at that particular point in time. One that can be considered our timeline, and one that is not. And we’ll be focusing on the ‘other’ timeline first. Are you with me so far?” asked Dr. Brown.

The fillies noded. So far, not too complicated. Dr. Brown tapped the device again, and the hologram focused in on one of the split lines.

“In this ‘other’ timeline, a few days after the divergence point, Sweetie Belle fainted for no apparent reason while she was simply walking down the street. Her parents, naturally, quickly rushed her to the hospital. Medical tests quickly revealed the reason why she fainted, and it was not a pleasant diagnosis,” said Dr. Brown.

He tapped the device, and the screen changed to display an outline of a pony.

“Have you girls ever heard of Arcanus Neurotoxicosis?” asked Dr. Brown.

Sweetie Belle looked at her friends. Apple Bloom and Babs Seed just shook their heads, but Scootaloo put a hoof to her muzzle in thought.

“Well, I heard one of my uncles mention it, but only that it’s really nasty, and that if Twitch didn’t stop breaking all the toilets in the hive he’d beat him so hard he’d end up developing it. I think he was joking, but this is Twitch we’re talking about,” said Scootaloo.

Dr. Brown looked like he wanted to comment on that, but shook his head and decided that it wasn’t worth asking. He just tapped the device again, causing the image of the pony to display what looked like an arcanic tissue system, but Sweetie Belle quickly noticed that it seemed a little off. The tissue looked sort of sickly.

“At any rate, it is very rare disease that is the result of improperly developed arcanic tissue. While such developments are not always dangerous, in extreme cases this can result in raw arcanic energy being pumped into one’s body. I should not have to explain why this is dangerous, especially considering how closely arcanic tissue develops to the nervous system,” said Dr. Brown.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo shivered. They both understood what magic energy could do to a pony’s body if the arcanic tissue didn’t process it properly. Magic backlash was no joking matter, and for it to happen across the entire body near the nerves...

“I see you understand the implications. That’s good. I was hoping to avoid going into detail about it. What’s more, because the symptoms begin developing at such a young age, surgical extraction or similar drastic measures are not viable options either. The hard truth is, the condition is terminal. In this other timeline, Sweetie Belle sadly passed away shortly after the diagnosis,” explained Dr. Brown.

Sweetie Belle wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Clearly, that was not what had happened to her, as she sure as hay didn’t remember being diagnosed with a fatal disease. This made the whole thing seem rather distant, like it didn’t directly affect her. But at the same time, she felt sorry for this other version of her. If she still existed, that is. Maybe this was one of those time travel situations where the other timeline ceases to exist or… On second thought, that would probably be even worse.

Sweetie Belle did, however, start to understand why she was a robot.

Dr. Brown tapped his metal device again, causing the screen to change back to the red timelines.

“Now, T.I.M.E., as I’m sure you’re aware, stands for Temporal Investigation, Maintenance, and Exploration. While ensuring that time remains consistent is one of our primary objectives, it is not the only one. There are times when we are willing to interfere and change the past,” explained Dr. Brown.

“Wait, does that mean time works in a nonlinear fashion? Or is all this some sort of predestined turn of events?” asked Scootaloo.

“Both and neither,” replied Dr. Brown.

All four fillies blinked in confusion.

“I said it was complicated. The theories on time travel from your era tended to assume that time consists of a single dimension higher than the three we can perceive. I wasn’t exaggerating when I said you need two doctorates to even begin to understand it. And I haven’t even mentioned how quantum physics fits into this,” said Dr. Brown.

Scootaloo let out a huff and shook her head. Apple Bloom’s expression looked glazed over, and Babs Seed looked like she was about to follow. Sweetie Belle was managing to keep up, but only in that she probably wasn’t going to understand how time travel worked anytime soon.

“To simplify, we can only change the past under special circumstances. The case of Sweetie Belle is one such instance. While I cannot share the details, both for spoiler reasons and because I doubt you’d understand a word I’d say, we came to realize that it was for the good of Equestria’s future that we do everything in our power to save Sweetie Belle’s life. And so, that’s exactly what we did,” said Dr. Brown.

Another tap, and the hologram zoomed back towards the split point. A new, curved line formed, connecting the split to the ‘real’ timeline at a point much further down.

“We made our move a few weeks after your fifth birthday. The technology needed to save you simply does not exist in your time period, so we brought you to the future. While this has not yet happened from our perspective, once I’ve finished explaining things we will do what is necessary to ensure your survival, and then send you back. We will sedate you through the entire process, of course, so you wouldn’t remember it happening,” explained Dr. Brown.

The room was silent for a moment as the fillies realized that this was it: the answer. Or at least a really important part of it.

“OK, that explains the how this was possible and why it happened at all. But that still leaves the question of why a robot,” noted Babs.

“Oh, well, I’m afraid to report that even a thousand years into the future we still don’t have a cure for Arcanus Neurotoxicosis. We do, however, have a work around. While we can’t do anything about the damage being done to the pony’s body, we can save everything else with the M.P.S.,” answered Dr. Brown.

Scootaloo gave a mix between a groan and a sigh.

“Finally! Do you have any idea how much trouble we’ve been having trying to figure that out? Come, tell us what it means already!” exclaimed Scootaloo.

Dr. Brown chuckled.

“M.P.S. stands for Magic Preservation System,” answered Dr. Brown.

I was so close!!!

The fillies looked around in confusion.

“What the hay was that?” asked Apple Bloom.

“It was like a dozen voices all sayin’ the same thing,” added Babs.

“Oh, just a little trans-dimensional feedback. It’s an unfortunate side effect of constantly poking at the dimensional divide as often as we do in this building. Especially in the multiverse department. Happens from time to time, but it’s nothing to worry about,” said Dr. Brown with a wave of his hoof.

He tapped the device again, this time revealing a blueprint for something that looked a great deal like an arcanic tissue system, except that it was clearly artificial. It wasn’t just AAT, however. There were several gemstones among the wires, as well as a large one where a pony’s brain would be.

“Anyway, the M.P.S. is a series of artificial arcanic tissues and top quality gemstones enchanted to create a sort of cradle for a pony’s very being. We simply extract a pony’s magic, memories, and very soul out of their poisoned body and bind it to the M.P.S.,” explained Dr. Brown.

“So that's what that glowin’ white stuff we saw inside her was? Part of Sweetie Belle’s soul?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Indeed, as it was contained within the AAT. Now, the M.P.S. by itself is a work of magic marvel, but being nothing but a soul wrapped up in wires and gemstones is hardly a pleasant way to live. That is why we developed the other major component: The A.P.P., or Artificial Pony Platform,” said Dr. Brown.

Oh, come on!

Hey! I got it!

Again, the fillies looked around in confusion.

“Huh. Must be a very busy day in the multiverse department. Anyway, the A.P.P. is basically the frame you see now. An artificial body designed to be usable by an active M.P.S. So, to put it simply: your M.P.S. is the system keeping your soul bound to the mortal plane, while your A.P.P. is the robotic body you control,” finished Dr. Brown.

Sweetie Belle sat there in stunned silence. That was the answer. She was a robot because she would have died otherwise. There was no underground society; no aliens, no world invasion, no actual Sweetie Belle she’d been sent to replace. It was just… a full body prosthetic. A life support system of sorts.

The knowledge was relieving in ways Sweetie Belle almost couldn’t put into words. It was like a heavy weight had been removed after bearing it for longer than she could remember. It left her overwhelmed with emotion, but also kind of empty. Funny, the lack of fear and uncertainty made her life seem so unclear. It was like whatever her life had been building up to till now turned out to be nothing serious.

She hadn’t considered it either way before, but now that she did, she realized that some small part of her had wanted to be involved in some big conspiracy. She wanted to be a hero like her big sister, even if she had to fight aliens or something to save the day.

But she didn’t feel lost. She thought of her sister, who had promised to love her no matter what. She thought of her home, so full of life and joy, and the occasional monster attack. She turned to her friends, who had literally stuck by her side for a thousand years. The emptiness quickly faded. She realized she didn’t need to be part of some big world-changing event. She had everything she needed already.

Sweetie Belle smiled. For the first time in months, she finally felt happy acceptance about herself, and her body.

“Alright, that’s enough of the lecture. I’m certain you girls are eager to get a move on. Any questions before we go see Sweetie Belle become a robot?” asked Dr. Brown.

Sweetie Belle blinked. She realized that, acceptance or not, she did in fact have several questions. Apple Bloom beat her to the punch, though.

“Ah have one. Why the hay does Sweetie Belle have so many gadgets in her?” asked Apple Bloom.

Dr. Brown scoffed.

“Well, what’s the point in becoming a robot if you don’t have a ton of gadgets installed?” he answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Sweetie Belle and her friends shared awkward looks. It wasn’t really an answer but… well, he had a point.

“I guess, but then why no lasers?” asked Scootaloo.

“I’d think that one was rather obvious. You don’t install weapon systems on an A.P.P. intended for a minor. What do you take us for? Mad scientists with no sense of practicality or basic safety procedures? Only a child would think of giving a functioning weapon to someone so young,” said Dr. Brown.

OK, that explanation made a lot more sense.

“That reminds me, I should probably give you this sooner rather than later,” said Dr. Brown as he reached into his desk and pulled out a book. Not some futuristic holobook or anything, just a plain old paper and ink hardback.

“Usually this is given to all ponies who undergo a M.P.S. transfer, but as we needed you to remain unaware of your robotic nature for several years for safety reasons, we decided to hold back on your copy. Though, considering it’s about to happen, I guess it’s less of a hold back and more handing it over to the guardian sort of situation,” said Dr. Brown as he passed Sweetie Belle the book.

Sweetie Belle’s eye grew wide as she read the title: A.P.P. User Guidebook.

What do you know, I really do come with an instruction manual, thought Sweetie Belle before she started giggling.

“I believe that will cover a great many questions you may have about your body. You are, of course, permitted to take it back with you to the past. It’s been screened to ensure that there are no major spoilers, so feel free to read it cover to cover. Anything else you need to ask me?” asked Dr. Brown.

Sweetie Belle thought about it for a moment. With the instruction manual in hoof, most of her questions now felt like they could wait. Except for one rather morbid detail.

“Um… how long do M.P.S.’s tend to last?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Dr. Brown blinked.

“Huh. You’re awfully mature to be thinking about that at your age. Then again, considering that one of your friends is a ghoul, I guess death would be a bit more prominent in your mind,” he said.

Apple Bloom jumped in her seat.

“We’re time travelers, remember? Not many ancient secrets can hide from us. And to answer you question: it varies. There are a great many factors that can lengthen or shorten the system’s longevity. But to give you a frame of reference: more or less as long as any other pony, for better or for worse. There are strict laws about using cybernetics to extend one’s life in this day and age, you see,” explained Dr. Brown.

Sweetie Belle let out a sigh of relief. That was a lot better than she was afraid of. Still, she noticed out of the corner of her eye that Apple Bloom looked a little disappointed.

Sorry Apple Bloom, you’ll have to deal with that problem on your own, Sweetie Belle thought sadly.

Still, Apple Bloom let out a sigh and seemed to get over it fairly quickly.

“Anything else?” asked Dr. Brown.

Sweetie Belle looked at her friends. They all shook their heads.

“I think we’re good,” answered Sweetie Belle.

“Alright, then. Now if you’ll follow me, we can go and watch the procedure,” said Dr. Brown.

The Critical Portal Room, as it was called, was apparently an emergency medical area for anypony who needed immediate treatment after traveling through time, dimensions, or whatever the hay else that weird mirror portal on the one wall lead to. As a M.P.S. transfer counted as an emergency situation, this was where the transformation would be taking place.

However, the room was currently occupied by several doctors fussing over what appeared to be a pony horribly fused with a mushroom. The doctors were making headway, cutting away the fungus with futuristic tools, but they were also kicking up a large cloud of what was probably spores. The doctors were wearing full-body suits, but it seemed that the room was rather toxic at the moment for visitors.

Luckily, the girls and Dr. Brown weren’t actually in the CPR. Rather, they were in an adjacent observation room, complete with a giant one-way mirror. They were also joined by a human, which Dr. Brown had explained were beings from another dimension, who was shaking her head as she watched. Interestingly, this particular human had a pair of wings on her back.

“Poor sap. Those pony-level cordyceps are nasty. It’ll take days to flush it all out of his system. I still don’t know why we keep sending agents over there. It’s not like we’re short on shrooms, enchanted or otherwise, even with those stupid turtles giving us trouble,” she mumbled before turning to face the others.

“Sorry about the delay. They should be finished in a minute or two. Then, after a quick sterilization of the room, and we’ll be able to start the procedure. No problems on your end, Brown?” she asked.

“I do wish you’d be a bit more professional while on the job, Miss Ride. And no, there were no problems,” said Dr. Brown with a roll of his eyes.

“If our bosses wanted professional, they wouldn’t have hired me of all people in the first place. Anyways, introductions. I’m Max, one of the big guns in security, at least in this part of the building. I’m here to play the hero if something goes wrong. And you must be the Cutie Mark Crusaders,” said Max.

“Ah ain’t,” mumbled Babs.

Her comment went ignored.

“Wait, you know about us a thousand years in the future?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Max just shrugged.

“Maybe, or maybe I just read your profiles when I was informed of today's agenda. Got to watch out for those darn spoilers, ya know?” was all she offered.

Sweetie Belle was rapidly starting to hate that word, demon invasions or not.

There was a small commotion in the CPR as the doctors left with the patient. There was a loud hiss as the now empty room was filled with cleaning gas. A moment later, the air inside was clear.

“Alright, show time,” said Max as she turned and stepped out the door.

Everyone turned to look into the room in anticipation. As a result, nopony noticed a small glowing blue spider creep into the viewing room from under the door as it closed behind Max.

A minute later, Max and three new figures entered the CPR. Two were unicorn stallions, one red and the other blue, and both wearing lab coats. The third was a human male wearing a weird set of goggles with three glowing green lights. They were also pulling a pair of medical beds into the room behind them.

On one of the beds was Sweetie Belle: a younger and clearly robotic Sweetie Belle. Or rather the A.P.P. Sweetie Belle was about to be bound to.

“Wait, if that’s what you looked like when you first became a robot, does that mean you can still grow up, Sweetie Belle?” asked Scootaloo.

“Well, of course she can. An A.P.P.’s outer shell is made from nanotech, after all. It’d be rather embarrassing for a nanotech device to be unable to adjust itself, and making similar changes to one’s pivots and wires are child’s play for an auto repair system,” said Dr. Brown.

“OK, I’ve seen the auto repair system in action, but what’s nanotech?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Spoiler, I’m afraid,” answered Dr. Brown.

“But if I’m carrying that sort of thing inside me, won’t I just be able to…” started Sweetie Belle.

“As I’m sure you've already noticed, there are blocks on certain information within your compuation system. That manual has also had a few pages removed. So yes, spoiler,” repeated Dr. Brown in more urgent tone.

Sweetie Belle sighed as she once again let the matter drop.

Meanwhile, the unicorns and human in the CPR were getting into position near the mirror portal. Max just leaned against the opposite wall, wings ready to dash forward.

“Alright, is the portal calibrated?” asked the male human.

The blue unicorn, who was fiddling with some sort of interface near the portal, answered.

“Year ez correkt… coordinates are correkt… and no trans dimensional vektors. We’re good to go,” he declared in an interesting accent.

Sweetie Belle blinked in surprise. There was something familiar about blue unicorn’s voice, though she couldn’t put her hoof on why.

“Alright, ve only have a few minutes to complete the procedjure. Let’s make this smooth, fast, and clean,” said the red unicorn with an accent identical to the blue unicorn.

The blue unicorn pressed a button, and the mirror portal began to ripple. A moment later, it stopped to reveal Sweetie Belle’s bedroom, with a tiny little filly sleeping on her bed.

“Wow. Ya sure were cute when ya were five, Sweetie Belle,” commented Apple Bloom.

Nopony noticed the glowing blue spider crawl towards the ceiling.

The human slipped through the portal, and crept up towards filly Sweetie Belle. It was hard to tell through the glass, but the guy was smooth and silent as a shadow. Even knowing what was coming, Sweetie Belle was rather surprised when the human pulled out a syringe and silently jabbed it into her younger self's foreleg.

Without a word, the human carefully lifted the now sedated filly and crept back through the portal, gently laying Sweetie Belle on the empty medical bed.

Seeing her five-year old self, with nothing but a glass wall to separate them, was possibly the most surreal thing Sweetie Belle had ever experienced. And she lived in Ponyville.

“Beginning extraction,” declared the red unicorn.

Both unicorns lit up their horns. Sweetie Belle’s jaw dropped in awe as she quickly realized from the light show just how much magic these two ponies were using, and that a fair amount of it was dark magic. Then again, this was magic that directly affected the soul of another pony. Not exactly the sort of thing you’d find in a typical spellbook.

The magic built, covering the young Sweetie Belle in a cloud of light and dark magic that pulsed with energy. Despite being sedated, the young filly started twitching. Suddenly, there was a loud magical snap, and young Sweetie Belle gave a sudden jolt before laying still. The cloud of magic energy gently rose up, and a transparent copy of Sweetie Belle rose out from her body, floating gently in the cloud of magic.

Sweetie Belle felt a shiver go down her spine. She had just watched her soul get torn out of her body. Even knowing why this was happening, she found it quite disturbing.

“Extraction complete. Beginning transver,” declared the red unicorn in a calm voice, despite the sweat dripping down his head.

The spell changed, causing the cloud to stretch out towards the A.P.P. The soul of Sweetie Belle moved along with the cloud, giving no reaction as it was pushed forward. The magic settled over the A.P.P., and Sweetie Belle’s soul slowly vanished inside it.

None noticed that the glowing blue spider was now directly above Babs Seed.

“Transver complete. Beginning integration,” announced the red unicorn, though his voice was starting to sound strained.

The magic cloud changed again, now brightening and closing over the robotic body. The A.P.P. started twitching, before there was another loud magical snap. The metal form jolted, but then fell still. Only now, it was breathing.

The two unicorns stopped casting, and then sat down in exhaustion.

“*huff…* Integration complete. *huff...* That vas more divvicult than anticipated,” said the red unicorn.

After a moment, the blue unicorn managed to stand back up and trotted over the give the new robot a quick double check. A quick tap of his hoof, and her body opened up.

“Alright, registered M.P.S #23457 ‘or one Sweetie Belle, connected to registered A.P.P. #23444. AAT es functioning, no signs of soul detachment or mana vejection. Filter spell es active, and has successfully taken evvect on the patient’s brainvaves. System diagnosis shows no errors and… hm, there’s evidence of unusually high compatibility vejection between the systems. Possible problem?” asked the blue unicorn.

“Well, she es only five, and I recall that she’ll ‘ave several years before she finds out about her computation system. Plenty of time vor things to reach more stable levels. Either way, we’re running out of time. If there are no major problems, we need to send her back and hope she can handle it,” said the red unicorn.

The blue unicorn let out a sigh.

“We shall see,” said the blue unicorn as he closed Sweetie Belle up.

Then it clicked: the voice! The voice of the blue unicorn was the same as the voice Sweetie Belle had heard that one night! It seemed like such a trivial detail now, but it was a loose end that Sweetie Belle had forgotten to bring up. Glad to know that wasn’t going to come back to haunt her.

The blue unicorn backed away as the male human carefully picked up the small robot. He then creeped back through the portal, set the robotic filly on her bed, pulled the covers back over her, and slipped back out without a sound. The portal rippled, and then closed.

It was done.

Everyone in the CPR quickly made their exit. The room was probably going to be needed any minute for some other emergency, and no one wanted to get in the way. They took the two medical beds with them, as well as Sweetie Belle’s now still body.

Sweetie Belle felt surprisingly sentimental as she watch her empty husk being carted away.

“So, uh… what are you guys going to do with my corpse?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well, usually we give it right back to whoever it belongs to, but I doubt you want to take it back to the past with you. We were planning on using it for organ donations, and then using the rest for scientific research. You have any objections?” asked Dr. Brown.

Sweetie Belle thought about it for a moment.

“Hey sis, check out this souvenir I got from the future!”

“Yeah, it’d probably be best if we left it here, and I don’t think I mind you using it for something useful,” decided Sweetie Belle.

The door of the observation room opened, and Max stepped inside.

“Alright, show’s over. Now you guys can…” she paused, her eyes growing wide as her gaze fell on Babs Seed.

Or rather, on the glowing blue spider that had lowered itself down on a thread of silk and was now right next to Babs.

“Oh crap… get back!” cried Max as she charged towards Babs, her wings propelling her forward.

But she was too late: the spider landed on Babs’ foreleg. There was a strange, otherworldly sound as the spider bit her.

“Ow!” cried Babs as she flicked the spider away.

The spider ran off, but Max quickly slammed a glass jar over it.

“Son of a… how’d one get this far from the habitat?!” she exclaimed.

Dr. Brown, meanwhile, dashed over to Babs and looked at the spider bite. It was glowing the same blue as the spider, and the glow was starting to spread. Dr. Brown cursed and pulled some sort of device out of his saddlebag that looked a lot like a walkie talkie.

“This is Dr. Brown: code 23-19 in CPR 115 viewing room! Repeat: code 23-19 in CPR 115 viewing room!” he cried into the device.

Sweetie Belle felt panic being to rise again. This trip to the future was supposed to solve problems, not make new ones! She, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom started trotting in place, but despite their concern they all kept their distance. They couldn’t tell if what was happening to Babs could spread, and they didn’t want to get in Dr. Brown’s way.

“Wha… what’s happenin’ to me?” asked Babs as she started shaking in fear.

Dr. Brown put the radio thing aside and pulled yet another strange device. This one was a small silver cylinder that had a blue light on one end. Dr. Brown held the device up to Babs’ leg, and it seemed to slow the blue glow’s spread.

“Retroactive spider bite. Easily fixed, but dangerous if not treated quickly. You’ll be fine, but this is likely going to sting a bit,” Dr. Brown answered.

Sweetie Belle felt a small amount of relief, though she was still worried. If he’d already called for help, then the situation was probably under control and…

Wait a second…

“Radioactive spider? You mean she’s getting super powers?!” asked Sweetie Belle.

The idea cheered her friends up, but Babs just groaned.

“Ah knew this was goin’ to happen if Ah stayed in town too long,” she grumbled.

Behind them, Max snorted.

“Retroactive spiders, not radioactive. Besides, everyone knows that Spiderman’s just a comic book character. Now Batman on the other hand…” she said.

Dr. Brown gave a loud cough.

“...right, that’d be a spoiler. But to answer the question you’re about to ask, retroactive spiders eat time energy. We use ‘em to clean up temporal byproducts that sometimes come with time travel, but their venom is kind of dangerous. And they have this nasty habit of sneaking out of the habitat we set up for them, so there should have been someone making sure this sort of thing didn’t happen…” explained Max.

“Yes, yes, and whoever failed to do their job today will be facing the consequences. That doesn’t change the fact that this poor filly now has time-charged spider venom flowing in her bloodstream. Now stay still, dear, moving around will only make things worse,” said Dr. Brown.

Babs gulped, but tried to hold still. It wasn’t easy though, as now her entire leg was glowing blue.

A moment later, four unicorns burst into the room. They were wearing grey uniforms with patches that looked like crossed out hourglasses on their sleeves, and large strange devices on their backs connected to short hoses.

“Alright, looks like we made it before things got too serious. There’s probably still going to be side effects, though. Stand back everyone,” said one of the unicorns.

Everyone inched away from Babs Seed.

“Side effects?!” exclaimed Babs.

“Oh, well we are pulling time energy out your body. Can’t do that without poking the time-space continuum a bit. Don’t worry, it’ll just be some harmless changes to your timeline. Well, unless it happens to change your species or something, but the longer this takes the more likely something like that will happen, so best get it over with. Now brace yourself,” said another unicorn.

All four of them turned on the strange device on their backs, and pointed the tubes at Babs.

“Was that supposed to be encouraging?!” demaned Babs.

“No, it was just supposed to keep you too dumbfounded to try running away,” replied a unicorn as they let it loose.

BANG!

There was a bright flash, a deep rumble, and an incomprehensible sensation of eternity as time itself bent and twisted to the wills of four ponies and forces beyond mortal comprehension. At last, everything snapped back together. Time became whole once more, and the beings in the CPR viewing room could only stare at Babs…

Who was completely unchanged, minus the lack of a blue glow on her leg.

“There we go. All better. Now if you’ll excuse us, we need to have a word with whoever was on spider duty,” said one of the unicorns as he and his two bat-pony colleagues turned to leave.

“And we’ll be taking that little pest as well,” said the other unicorn as he levitated the jar holding the spider after him.

“I’m coming too. My pay better not get cut because of some other idiot,” mumbled Max as she followed them.

The four fillies looked at each other.

“Well, I’m glad you’re OK, Babs, but that was kind of... anticlimactic,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah. We went through all that and nothing happened,” said Scootaloo.

“Oh, that’s probably not true. The spell used to extract retro venom alters history so that if there were any changes, everypony would think that the new version of things is the way they've always been,” said Dr. Brown.

Babs did not take this news well.

“Ya mean Ah could have just been zapped into somethin’ different without even realizin’ it?! Was Ah born a girl?! Am Ah supposed tah be this age?! Have Ah alway been a…” Babs’ panic-fueled ramble was cut off as Dr. Brown put a hoof on her mouth.

“Perhaps or perhaps not. And regardless, not even I would be aware of it. Your memories and home have changed with it as well. As far as you need to concern yourself, nothing has been altered. It might not be what it once was, but now it never was that way in the first place,” said Dr. Brown.

Babs took several deep breaths and managed to calm down.

“Alright, ah guess that ain’t too bad. But all the same, Ah think there’s somethin’ Ah have to do now,” said Babs.

“What’s that?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Ask ya where Ah sign up to be a crusader. Ah think havin’ mah history bein’ rewritten, knowin’ it was rewritten, and not able to tell how it was rewritten, counts as plenty weird to join,” answered Babs.

Sweetie Belle was confused, but quickly realized that this was probably the closest way Babs would ever get to being as weird as the rest of them, while still technically being completely normal. Babs probably wanted to take advantage of that while she had the chance.

Well, it was better than being a spider-pony at least.

At last, they arrived at their ticket home.

“That’s a time machine?” asked Scootaloo in disbelief.

It was a small black box attached to the side of a bathtub.

“No, this is a time capsule. It’s designed so that it will make a one way trip then dissolve, leaving nothing but whatever it was attached to. It may not be very stylish, but a bathtub is one of the more stable items we could attach it to that fits the time period it’s headed for. Usually we use cars, but, well, it goes without saying that you four have no idea what a car even is,” explained Dr. Brown.

“So I guess this means we’re never coming back, huh?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well, I can’t say either way. Rest assured, if there should ever be circumstances that require you to come back to the future, we will arrange it for you. At any rate, you’d best be off. We’ve calibrated it to your own timeframes, so if you leave quickly you should arrive late afternoon of the same day you left,” said Dr. Brown.

Seeing no reason to delay, the four of them climbed into the bathtub. Sweetie Belle double checked to make sure she had her new instruction manual still in hoof, then nodded at Dr. Brown.

“Thanks for everything. Both for saving my life, and bringing us here to explain it all,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Just doing my job, my dear. Have a pleasant trip,” said Dr. Brown.

Dr. Brown flipped a switch on the black box, and the fillies and the bathtub vanished from the room in a bright flash of light.

Dr. Brown let out a sigh of relief.

“Whew. It’s been a while since I had to put so much effort into avoiding spoilers. I am one lucky stallion to meet my role model in her filly years, but by the Princess of Toaster Repair, it was hard not to go full fancolt in front of her,” he said to himself.

“What the buck is this?!” exclaimed Octavia.

“Well, apparently after the third time Murphy smashed our house up, the insurance company decided to start penalizing us and..” started Vinyl.

“I can see that! But why would they decide to fix everything, except providing us with a new bathtub?! In what kind of twisted system is that an appropriate penalty?!” exclaimed Octavia.

“Maybe they’re expecting one to drop on us next?” suggested Vinyl.

Octavia facehooved.

“Please don’t even joke about that. If we have to live with another hole in our house for weeks on end I am going to…” said Octavia.

There was bright flash of magic energy as a bathtub appeared out of thin air, before clanging to the ground.

“Ugh… If I ever have to time travel again, it’ll be too soon,” mumbled Scootaloo as she leaned out of the bathtub, green in the face.

She was soon joined by her friends. Only Sweetie Belle didn’t look like she was about to throw up, but that was probably because she was a robot rather than time travel actually agreeing with her.

Octavia and Vinyl shared a look.

“Well, technically it didn’t drop on us. And the roof’s still in one piece,” said Vinyl.

Octavia just sighed and let the matter drop. She was finally starting the learn the Ponyville art of going with the flow when things got weird. That, and she was out of wine to take away the pain if she did get worked up about it.

It had been a long, draining day for Sweetie Belle, and an even longer evening. Explanations had been given, stories had been shared, and one purple unicorn’s curiosity had been sated to the point she’d let them go home and get some sleep.

Rarity smiled as she carried her exhausted sister into their home.

“Well, you’ve had quite the exciting day, haven’t you, Sweetie Belle?” asked Rarity.

“Yeah. And we finally got our answers,” said Sweetie Belle in an exhausted tone.

“Yes, and such pleasant answers as well. It’s a relief to hear that you will no longer be living with existential dread,” said Rarity.

Even tired as she was, Sweetie Belle couldn’t resist.

“Well, I haven’t hit puberty yet so…” mumbled Sweetie Belle.

“Now now, a young lady does not speak of such things. And we’ll worry about that hurdle when we reach it. For now, I believe you have some very peaceful sleep to enjoy,” said Rarity as she entered Sweetie Belle’s room.

Rarity levitated Sweetie Belle off her back, placed her on her bed, and pulled the covers over her.

“Do I have to? It’s not my bedtime yet, and I have that instruction manual to start reading,” said Sweetie Belle, pointing at the book as Rarity levitated it over to Sweetie Belle’s desk.

“They will be plenty of time for that tomorrow morning. Good night, Sweetie Belle,” said Rarity as she gave Sweetie Belle a kiss just underneath her horn.

“Good night, sis,” said Sweetie Belle with a smile as she rolled over and closed her eyes.

With a smile, Rarity turned and left, closing the door softly behind her.

Sweetie Belle waited a minute to make sure her sister was gone, then reached under her bed and pulled out a flashlight.

“Yeah, I think I’ve done more than enough waiting. It’s high time I learn what I can do,” she whispered to herself.

She tiptoed to her desk, and opened the book.

Introduction: So your soul’s been transferred into a robot. Now what?

Author's Note

Mwahaha! I have written a chapter with 24 references, some so vague that no one will get them all! Now the guessing comments will continue even after I reveled what MPS and APP stand for! Mwahaha!

OK, in all seriousness, I apologize to anyone who found the references annoying. But don't you see? In the future, there are only memes. Only memes...

Oh, and shout out to Hunter Redflame for correctly guessing APP. That "Hey! I got it!" was for you.

So, yeah. This was the origin story I thought up for Sweetie Bot back when I first started writing this fic. I'll let you guys decide whether it was interesting or dumb. And yes, it was inspired by this one story.

Update: I posted a blog entry with a list of all the references HERE.

Chapter 17.5: The Part Where Babs is Now Officially Weird

Babs Seed sighed as she reached her apartment in Manehattan. She was happy to be home, but she knew exactly what was waiting for her on the other side of her door.

“Nothin’ to do but get it over with,” she mumbled as she opened the door and walked in.

Babs Seed was not surprised to see her mother and older sister waiting for her. She was also not surprised by the smug expressions on their faces.

“Welcome home, Babs! So… should Ah head out and buy some doggie treats? Or throw away all our garlic? Ah might have bought it the first time, maybe, but a second extended trip to Ponyville? There’s no way ya haven’t been caught up in somethin’ freaky. What are ya hidin’, little missy?” asked Babs’ mom.

“Ah have no idea,” replied Babs with a smirk of her own.

It brought her no small amount of delight to see their confused expressions.

“Yeah, Ah admit somethin’ weird did happen to me this time. Ah got sent to the future, and bit by some kind of time spider. Apparently mah entire history has been rewritten so that what Ah used to be, ah no longer am. And nopony, not even you two, can tell anythin’s changed,” answered Babs.

Bab’s family just stared at her, but then their smug expressions returned.

“That’s it! The reason nothing weird happened on your first visit was because you were always a vampire, and this time the rewrite thing turned you into a normal filly! It all makes sense now!” declared Babs’ sister.

“Drat. Now there’s no way for us to tell for certain who won the bet. But she must have been a timber-pony. Ah just can’t imagine her ever bein’ sparkly enough to be a vampire,” countered her mother.

Babs bit back the moan that ached to rise out of her throat, and headed towards her room as her family giggled at her. She did not need to put up with this right now.

She closed the door behind her, tossed her saddlebag aside, and flopped down onto her bed.

“Maybe Ah should just turn right around and move to Ponyville. I’d probably fit in now, and Ah’d never have to deal with that buckin’ wolf/vampire debate again,” she mumbled.

“Language!” called Babs’ mom.

Once again, Babs wondered how in Equestria her mother always knew when she swore under her breath.

Still…

Babs got up and turned towards her mirror. Once again, she couldn't see anything wrong. But something was wrong. Or rather, something was right that shouldn’t have been right.

“OK, Ah’m clearly overthinkin’ this if Ah’m gettin’ poetic about it,” mumbled Babs.

Yet, she couldn’t help but wonder. Was her mane always that color? Was her coat always brown? Perhaps she was supposed to be the older sister of the family, or possibly the brother? Or maybe her sister was right: she was something unusual before, but now she was just a normal everyday earth pony.

Babs just sighed. That didn't seem likely. Why would she have refused to join the crusaders back then if she was just as weird as her cousin and friends? Or was that just part of the rewrite too?

“Well, no point in dwellin’ on it, Ah guess. Ah’m just goin’ to drive mahself crazy tryin’ to find something Ah know Ah can’t see,” she mumbled with yet another sigh.

The bright yellow eyed pony in the mirror sighed with her.

T.I.M.E. Incident Report #31415926535*

A visiting mare from a thousand years ago, Miss Babs Seed, was bit by a retroactive spider. The spider was successfully contained and the Time Busters managed to treat the bite without any complications. The mare was then sent back to her own time, and the employee who let the spider out was fired. Again.

Blah, blah blah, required triplicate attached, Yada yada yada. You know the drill by now. Also attached: important memo. Read it. Yes, right now.

-Agent Hindsight

*Also, it’s high time we came up with a new numbering system. We’re already at far too many digits for these incident reports.

Office Memo:

While this might seem like an open shut retro spider case, my investigations have revealed a disturbing development. Code yellow in fact. Yes, a spider bite caused a code yellow. No, really. I want this report and the attached documents forwarded to the head of security immediately. I don’t care if someone has to interrupt his WOW session, he needs to see this ASAP.

I won’t bother with the summary, we all know what retro spider bites do. As you also know, ponies like me are expected to look into what exactly was changed by the temporal rewrite, as difficult as it is. As usual, I can only give my suspicions, but by all forty members of the royal family, my suspicions are terrifying.

My investigation has led me to suspect that the bite resulted in her genetic makeup being drastically altered. Most of the resulting changes were fortunately limited to recessive genes, so Miss Babs Seed herself has not undergone a species change, or anything so drastic.

However, even alterations to recessive genes can have profound consequences. A quick glance at her future family tree would reveal why: Miss Babs Seeds’ genes were now in such a statistically improbable state that it caused her future daughter to be the first naturally born thestral in almost three thousand years.

I believe a humble retro spider bite resulted the miraculous recovery of a long extinct species. A species of which I happen to be a member of, and that I have reason to suspect I was not before the rewrite. While I can’t really complain about the results, nor do anything about them, this has displayed a very disturbing security risk.

What if the spider bite had done the opposite, and caused such a miraculous event to never happen? Or if the treatment had come later, and even more drastic changes had occured? And the worst part, because of the temporal rewrite, T.I.M.E. would likely remain completely unaware of such a tragedy, and be unable to fix it.

And all it would take is one of those stupid spiders biting the wrong pony visiting from the past.

This should be a wake up call to how dangerous the retroactive spiders really are. And why only having some minimum wage shmuck off the street monitoring the spider habitat is not enough. We’re playing with the space-time continuum here with the Princesses’ approval. I think we can afford to hire a single qualified security guard.

Or better yet, why not make the spiders unnecessary, at least in such great quantities? Why not put some of that oh-so-precious budget toward developing a better time machine that doesn’t leak as much raw temporal energy?

I get it: time travel isn’t a profitable industry. The only reason we exist is because of the Princess’s financial support, and we only get so much of it. But I believe informing her of the danger would convince her to increase our funding, not shut us down. Have you guys even meet the mare? She’s as fascinated by time travel as the lab coats. She won’t give up on it just because we discovered some easily avoidable risks.

I expect this matter to be addressed quickly. And to make sure this isn’t blown off until we have a major history changing accident, I’ve taken the liberty of forwarding my research to the Princess. I’m certain you’ll want to make sure that when she likely comes to see the problem for herself, you’ll have actually done something about it. We all remember what she did during the kitten orphanage incident. Best not give her a reason to do something that drastic again.

Thank you for your cooperation. And I’d like to see you fools try and fire me for this.

-Agent Hindsight

Author's Note

Tah dah! Babs is now the mother of all bat ponies! Can't get much weirder than that while still remaining a perfectly normal pony.

By the way, for those of you who were worried about this being the end of the fic, I assure you that we have not just concluded the climax.

Because next chapter is the start of the climax.

This fic is over two years old, and over 100k words long. This particular story was about the CMC coming to terms with their secrets. There will be about three more chapters after this, then it'll be finished.

That said, I'm not done with this universe yet. Not by a long shot. It's just that most of the ideas I've been having don't really fit into this story, so I'll be writing a spin-off once this one's done.

Chapter 18: Break The Diamond...

“Hey, girls? I’ve got a bit of a serious question for you…”

Diamond Tiara was angry.

No, angry was an understatement. Diamond Tiara was LIVID.

Hers was the rage that drove generation spanning feuds. It was the hatred that sparked wars in the name of vengeance. It was the fury that turned monkeys into golden haired fighting machines. It was anger that had no business festering inside a young filly. Yet fester it did.

There were many reasons why it burned so hot, but Diamond only had eyes for the biggest: those three bucking blank flanked fillies. She sat there at her school desk, watching them pack up and head out the door with an expression of utter loathing.

Her anger did not go unnoticed.

“Uh… Diamond Tiara? Are you OK?” asked Silver Spoon.

Diamond turned towards her friend with a glare.

“What do you think?” Diamond Tiara answered in a low voice that spoke volumes.

“I… think it’s time we picked new targets? I mean, it’s kind of obvious at this point that the three of them aren’t bothered by our teasing anymore. Yeah, we were able to push those three around longer than anypony, but we both know how this works. Sooner or later they just get over us and we have to start picking on somepony else,” said Silver Spoon.

“Yes, that’s how it works. And that’s why I’m so angry at those three,” said Diamond through clenched teeth.

“How so? We’ve been teasing them for ages now. It was only a matter of time before…” started Silver.

She was cut off by Diamond growling.

“That’s just it! Those three clearly had a long way to go before they reached that point, but then one day in the middle of summer they just suddenly get over us? That’s not how this works. We should have been able to keep getting under their skin until the day they got their cutie marks,” explained Diamond.

“Well, not every pony is going to just nicely follow the rules of bullying. Come on, Diamond, let’s just go and tease somepony else,” suggested Silver Spoon.

Diamond Tiara slammed a hoof on her desk. It was a good thing that they were the only two left in the classroom, or Cheerilee would probably have had words with her about that.

“Like who? Dinky’s mom will kill us if we pick on her. Rumble flat out doesn't care about his mark. That loser crystal pony is gone and he wasn’t a blank flank, or even a pony. And everypony else either already has their cutie mark, or we’ve already teased,” exclaimed Diamond Tiara.

Silver Spoon rubbed the back of her neck nervously.

“Well… maybe… this is a sign that we should… find something else to do?” she hesitantly suggested.

Diamond Tiara looked at her friend in shock, before glaring at her.

“Excuse me? I must have heard you wrong, because you could not have possibly suggested what I thought you did. Could you?” Diamond asked.

Silver Spoon winced, but held her ground.

“I’m just saying, maybe it’s time? Time to stop only venting your frustration and accept that you…” she started to say.

Diamond Tiara slammed her hooves on her desk so hard that it cracked.

“I. DO. NOT. HAVE. A. PROBLEM!” she shrieked.

Silver Spoon cringed at her friend’s outburst, but then let out a sigh.

“OK then, how about we don’t just tease blank flanks. We could broaden our horizons, you know?” Silver Spoon suggested.

Diamond Tiara nodded. That was a much better idea. One that wouldn’t give IT any reason to bother her.

“Yes, that sounds like a good idea. But before that, we need to take care of some unfinished business,” said Diamond Tiara.

“Unfinished business?” asked Silver Spoon.

“Like I said, those three got over us far too quickly. Something must have happened to them. Something they don’t want anypony to know about. And we’re going to find out what,” declared Diamond Tiara.

Silver Spoon raised an eyebrow.

“Really? You think that the reason they started ignoring us so suddenly is because they’re hiding some sort of dark secret?” she asked.

“Well, duh. Of course they are. Now come on. It’s time for us to get spying,” said Diamond Tiara as she stood up.

“You mean, time for you to get spying. I’m not coming,” said Silver Spoon as she packed up her books.

“What? Why not?” demanded Diamond Tiara.

“Because we still have homework to do. And if you’re going to be wasting the day spying on other ponies, I’m going to have to spend the day getting both of ours done. Your welcome, by the way,” answered Silver Spoon as she headed out the door.

Diamond Tiara sighed, but let the matter drop. She didn’t need Silver Spoon to spy on them anyway.

Besides, if Silver Spoon wasn’t with her, she wouldn’t be able to make another suggestion about IT.

“Things have been, well, kind of crazy lately. So much has happened all at once…”

Diamond Tiara kept low as she creeped up to the Crusader’s clubhouse. She had to be careful. Last time she and Silver Spoon had tried to bother the blank flanks in their own clubhouse, Applejack had noticed them, told their parents, and gotten them grounded. She did not want to get caught again.

Too bad the only way to be sneaky on the farm was to get down into the dirt. This was especially problematic as it had rained the night before, and she needed to avoid the mud puddles that were still lying about. Diamond Tiara promised herself she would take a bubble bath as soon as she found out what those losers were hiding.

A bubble bath she’d be setting up herself because…

Diamond Tiara shook her head and banished that line of thinking. IT had tried to strike again. IT had gotten a lot more powerful the last few months because those three pests kept ignoring her. She needed to tear those fillies to pieces and soon, or she risked IT rising up past her defences.

Finally, she reached the clubhouse. She tiptoed her way up the ramp, and peeked into one of the windows. Unsurprisingly, all three of them were inside. They were putting their school books away, homework already finished, while talking about something.

“... can you believe that?” asked Scootaloo.

“We’ve met Twitch, remember? I think we can believe it,” replied Sweetie Belle.

“Though Ah gotta admit, that sounds like an all time low for him. Ah mean, really? Food dye to make changelings think their insides were bleedin’? That’s messed up,” said Apple Bloom with a shake of her head.

Diamond Tiara permitted herself a smirk. She was already learning so much! In fact, this Twitch fellow sounded like a fun pony to…

Wait, did Apple Bloom say changeling?

“Well, it’s certainly one of his more messed up pranks, but hardly his worst. Did I ever tell you two about the time he gave everyone in the hive diarrhea?” said Scootaloo.

“How the hay did he pull that off?” asked Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo leaned in close to whisper to her friends. They quickly reeled back in horror.

“Ew! That’s disgusting!” exclaimed Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah. He got grounded for almost a year for that one,” said Scootaloo with a shake of her head.

Diamond Tiara let out a silent huff of frustration. That was the big secret? They knew about a few changelings? Even if she knew those soul sucking bugs were still evil, how the hay was she supposed to make those three miserable over something like that?

“So what about you, Scootaloo? Anything exciting happening lately?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well, I am starting to learn a new disguise technique. Haven’t really gotten it down yet though, so I can’t really show it off,” admitted Scootaloo.

“Aw, come on. Show us!” said Apple Bloom.

“Yeah!” added Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo sighed.

“Alright, fine,” she said.

There was a bright flash of green flames, then Scootaloo stood before them: a changeling. Diamond Tiara had to slam her hooves on her muzzle to hold back a gasp.

There was another flash, and Scootaloo was herself again, though now her coat looked a little off, like it was made of some sort of fuzzy orange stone.

“Gah… couldn’t even make it grey. Anyway, as you can see, I’ve started my lessons on inanimate disguises. It’s really hard, though. At this point, I’m just trying to figure out how to make myself look like a statue, and I can’t even manage that yet,” explained Scootaloo.

“You’ll get the hang of it eventually, Scootaloo, I’m sure of it,” said Sweetie Belle with a smile.

Apple Bloom nodded in agreement.

Meanwhile, Diamond Tiara put a hoof to her mouth in thought. On the one hoof, it wasn’t exactly illegal to be a changeling, stupid as that law was. But on the other, Scootaloo had chosen not to reveal herself during that meeting. That meant that she wanted to keep it a secret.

A secret Diamond Tiara would be more than willing to spill. True, this wasn’t anything really incriminating, but with some creative thinking she might be able to work with this…

“Anyway, enough changeling talk. We were plannin’ on headin’ to Carousel Boutique to read that instruction manual today, right?” said Apple Bloom.

“Yep. We can finally start figuring out how my APP works,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Last one there’s a rotten egg!” said Scootaloo as she dashed for the door.

Diamond Tiara’s heart jumped in panic. She quickly looked around for an escape route, then threw herself off the side of the balcony. Unfortunately, she ended up throwing herself towards a small mud puddle.

Splat!

Diamond Tiara nearly broke out into tears as she felt the mud sink into her coat. The only thing keeping her from doing so was the fact that the blank flanks were in too big of a hurry to notice her, so her eavesdropping remained undetected.

“And we’ve all learned a lot about ourselves. What we’re going to face when we grow up, and such…”

One lonely… no, one pleasant bubble bath later, Diamond Tiara found herself peering into the second floor of the Carousel Boutique. The tree she was hiding in wasn’t very sturdy, but it was close enough that she could see and hear what was going on inside through the open window.

“Chapter 6: Magic Systems,” read Sweetie Belle.

Unfortunately, all the blank flanks were doing was reading some stupid manual.

“While APP’s technically have the potential to enable users to harness all forms of magic, doing so has a history of severe safety and psychological problems. As such, modern designs have been tailor fitted to each tribe’s individual magic. While this may sound like a downgrade, it has made APP’s not only safer, but also cheaper, making them more affordable to ponies who need them,” read Sweetie Belle.

“Well, it’s not like it would have been easy to hide a pair of metal wings, anyway,” commented Scootaloo with a shrug.

“Yeah, this was probably for the best,” added Apple Bloom.

Diamond Tiara had no idea what they were talking about. Some kind of video game maybe?

“Hm… There’s a picture here of how the horn model is supposed to look. I wonder…” said Sweetie Belle.

She then tapped her horn a few times. A moment later, it opened up, revealing mechanical insides built around a large wad of glowing material.

Diamond Tiara’s jaw dropped as the illusion fell away from the rest of Sweetie Belle. The glass eyes, the crevices across her body, and most of all the way her horn opened up, Diamond Tiara could see it all. There was no doubt: Sweetie Belle was some kind of machine!

“Does it look right to you girls?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom looked between the manual, and Sweetie Belle’s open horn.

“Yeah, looks like a perfect match to me,” said Apple Bloom.

“Same here,” said Scootaloo.

“Darn. For a moment there I thought maybe there’s something wrong with it, and that’s the reason I’m having so much trouble with my magic. I guess I really am just a late bloomer,” said Sweetie Belle with a sigh.

She gently closed her horn.

“You’ll get the hang of it eventually, Sweetie Belle, I’m sure of it,” said Scootaloo with a smirk.

“Hey, no trying to cheer me up with my own words,” said Sweetie Belle with a giggle.

Diamond Tiara pushed her jaw back up as her brain finished rebooting. Sweetie Belle was some kind of robot?! This was huge! This was way bigger than Scootaloo being a changeling! If she could get word of this to the Princesses, that filly would spend the rest of her life as a science experiment!

“By the way, did you ever send a letter to the Princess about our little trip?” asked Scootaloo.

That stopped Diamond Tiara’s train of thought in its tracks.

“Yeah. I got a reply this morning. She admitted that she kind of suspected that was the case, but wasn’t entirely sure. She didn’t want to say anything to get my hopes up if she was wrong. Plus, you know, spoilers,” answered Sweetie Belle with an eye roll.

Or maybe the princesses were already in on it, and exposing her would only get the crown to support her. Drat. Now what the hay was Diamond Tiara supposed to do with…

Crack!

By the time Diamond Tiara realized that the branch she was standing on had snapped, she was already halfway to the ground. And as luck would have it, she was right above another mud puddle.

Splat!

This was clearly not her day.

“But it’s also gotten me thinking about things. Big and important things that we need to talk about…”

After another… no, keep IT back… delightful bubble bath, Diamond Tiara once again snuck into Sweet Apple Acres. It was getting late by this point, and Apple Bloom was the only pony she still needed to dig up some dirt on.

She spotted her target near the pig pen. This provided her with the perfect hiding place, though said hiding place made her want to gag. She hated to admit it, but her pink coat made it easy for her to blend in with the pigs, especially in the setting sun.

She was going to need a third bubble bath after this. One with extra strong soap.

Still, she had a clear view of Apple Bloom as she wrapped up the last of her chores.

“Whew. I knew puttin’ this off was a bad idea. But Ah got to help Sweetie Belle learn a ton today, so Ah guess it was worth it,” Apple Bloom mumbled to herself as she turned and made her way towards her house.

But then, she accidentally stepped on a rake that blended in with the dirt.

Crunch!

Diamond Tiara let out a squeal of horror as Apple Bloom’s head was knocked clear off by the rake handle. Luckily for Diamond, it sounded so similar to a pig squeal that Apple Bloom didn’t notice. Her shock only grew as she realized that Apple Bloom’s body had turned charcoal black.

“Confound it! Not again!” cried Apple Bloom.

Diamond Tiara looked in surprise at where the voice had come from. Only shock kept her from screaming at the sight of Apple Bloom’s black, red eyed head. It was moving despite not being attached to her body! What kind of horror was she?!

Apple Bloom’s body turned and, rather clumsily, hobbled over to her head. It picked her head up, and popped it back into place. A blink later, Apple Bloom was back to her normal yellow self.

Diamond Tiara couldn’t even form a cohesive thought at this.

“Apple Bloom, ya alright?” asked Applejack as she came running over.

“Ah’m fine, sis. But we really need to do somethin’ about this rake. This is the third time Ah’ve stepped on it. It’s just the perfect shade of brown to mix with the dirt. Somepony’ll end up gettin’ really hurt one of these days,” said Apple Bloom.

“Ah agree. Not all of us can just put our heads back on after all. I’ll see if we can’t get it repainted,” said Applejack with a nod.

The sheer insanity of what she was witnessing almost made Diamond Tiara faint. Apple Bloom’s sister knew she was some kind of zombie and didn’t seem to care? What the hay was this?! It didn’t make any sense! This wasn’t how families worked!

And she knew because…

NO!

Diamond Tiara slammed her hoof against her face.

IT was threatening to emerge again, but she wouldn’t let IT get out. She turned her thoughts away, desperately trying to think about anything other than IT. At last she succeeded, and IT fell back into the depths of her mind where IT belonged.

At any rate, Diamond Tiara had gotten what she came for. It was time to head home and come up with a plan.

She turned to leave, and then slipped and fell into the muddy slop of the pig pen.

Splat!

This was officially the worst day of her life.

“Now, I’m not saying I think we should go ahead and do it. But I do think we need to consider the possibility…”

“... and that’s what we’re dealing with. I know it sounds crazy, but those three losers are actually freaks!” said Diamond Tiara.

She was in her bedroom with Silver Spoon, explaining everything she’d seen. Silver Spoon just looked at Diamond Tiara in sheer disbelief.

“It’s a shame we can’t just tell their families and watch them get disowned. But no matter how much support they have, if they’ve been keeping these things secret, then it would be just horrible for them if their secrets were revealed. So we're going to expose them,” declared Diamond Tiara.

“What?! We can’t do that!” exclaimed Silver Spoon.

Diamond Tiara looked at her friend in confusion.

“Diamond, this isn’t just bullying. If what you said is true and you just expose them, it could ruin their lives,” said Silver Spoon.

“Yeah, that’s the point. What’s the problem?” asked Diamond Tiara.

Silver Spoon’s jaw dropped.

“You’re joking. Please tell me you’re joking,” begged Silver Spoon.

“I have never been more serious in my life,” said Diamond Tiara.

“But… but… you… they…” stuttered Silver Spoon.

Silver Spoon opened and closed her mouth several times, struggling to say something. To say anything.

“Come on, Silver. It’s just reestablishing the order of things. Rich and powerful ponies get adoration, and monstrous freaks get cast out of society. That’s how it’s always worked, and we’re just…” said Diamond Tiara.

At last, Silver Spoon found her voice.

“No,” she objected.

Diamond Tiara looked at her friend in confusion once more.

“That’s not how the world works, Diamond, and you know it. You know perfectly well that is… well... that. And even if that was how things are supposed to be, exposing other ponies like that is wrong,” said Silver Spoon.

Diamond Tiara got angry as she realized that Silver Spoon had nearly brought up IT again.

“Oh, don’t you go all ‘moral righteousness’ on me, Silver. Last time I checked it was you who suggested we start bullying blank flanks,” argued Diamond Tiara.

“Yes, because it was only bullying. I knew that as long as we didn’t take it too far ponies would get over us and move on. And I only suggested it because of how badly you needed a release. But if you’re going to go this far just so you can keep pretending you don’t have…” said Silver Spoon.

Diamond Tiara shoved her face into her friend’s.

“How many times do I have remind you?! I. DO. NOT. HAVE. A. PROBLEM! What kind of friend keeps telling the same lie over and over again no matter how many times you remind them that they’re wrong?!” yelled Diamond Tiara.

Silver Spoon’s fear turned to anger.

“A friend who cares about you enough to go along with bullying other ponies just so you don’t have a break down in public! Stop blowing me off as a liar and just accept it already! I am trying to help you, Diamond Tiara!” shouted Silver Spoon.

Silver Spoon’s words gave IT power. Diamond Tiara couldn’t let that happen.

“Again with the lies! Lies, lies, and more lies! Good friends don’t lie to each other! In fact, I think you’ve only been pretending to be my friend all this time! Yeah, the only reason you even bother to come near me is because you know that I’ll always be richer and more successful than you’ll ever be, and you want to leech off me!” cried Diamond Tiara.

Silver Spoon gave a gasp and stepped back. Her anger quickly faded. A moment later, tears started to build in her eyes.

“You… you’re just saying that because you’re angry. You don’t really mean…” said Silver Spoon.

“Yes I do! Now stop making dumb excuses and help me think of a way to expose those freaks! Or are you admitting you’re just a bad friend?” demanded Diamond Tiara.

Silver Spoon turned away as her tears started to fall.

“Yeah… I guess I am a bad friend. Everything I did to try and help you only made things worse. We made so many ponies miserable, and all it did was make you close yourself off even further from reality. I should have just hugged you that night I found you crying on your bed instead of getting ideas. At least then I wouldn’t have just helped you pretend you’re fine,” said Silver Spoon in a soft tone.

“For the last time, I AM fine! Stop saying such nonsense! Now are you going to help or what?” demanded Diamond Tiara.

Silver Spoon just got up and walked towards the door.

“And I guess I’m just going to continue to be a bad friend. I might not know much about friendship, but I know that good friends don’t let their friends throw their lives away. But it’s clear to me now that I can’t help you. I can’t stand to see you like this anymore, but the only way I think you’ll ever break out of that delusion of yours is if it gets smashed clear across your face. So If you want to go ahead and destroy your future, you be my guest. But I’ll have no part in it,” announced Silver Spoon.

Silver Spoon stopped in the doorway and looked back at Diamond Tiara.

“Please, Diamond. Don’t do this,” whispered Silver Spoon, her eyes full of tears.

Diamond Tiara looked at her friend in disbelief, then glared at her.

“Fine! I don’t need your help anyway!” Diamond Tiara cried before turning away in a huff.

Silver Spoon sighed, turned, and walked away.

Diamond Tiara, meanwhile, was struggling. IT was rising with greater force than ever before. IT wanted out. IT wanted out so badly. But Diamond Tiara wouldn’t let IT come out. She controlled her thoughts, locked up her emotions, and pushed IT down with everything she had. It took almost twenty minutes, but she did it. She managed to keep IT back.

She was running out of time. She wouldn’t be able to hold IT back if IT got any stronger. She immediately turned her thoughts to the freaks.

“Yeah, I don’t need your help. I have other ponies that can help me,” said Diamond Tiara.

“And really, this isn’t the sort of decision any of us should make just because we feel like it right here and now…”

“What do you mean ‘you can’t do anything?!’” demanded Diamond Tiara.

Murphy Law sipped his coffee and gave Diamond Tiara a bored look. He wasn’t sure how this filly found his office, but with bits on the line, he honestly didn’t care.

“I can’t do anything. Do you need me to repeat myself for a third time?” he asked.

“That’s a load of manure! One’s a changeling, one's robot, and one’s a zombie! You can’t expect me to believe that you, a lawyer, can’t find some legal loophole to get those three arrested!” cried Diamond Tiara.

Murphy Law sighed.

“Do you want me to go over it, case by case?” he asked.

“Yes, yes I do. Now start talking!” demanded Diamond Tiara.

Murphy Law blinked in surprise, but then he smirked and pulled out a few folders.

“Alright then, first the changeling. I’m sure you saw the royal decree declaring changelings to be legally identified as citizens, correct? Well, part of the new law is that changelings are permitted to remain in disguise. Whatever the filly’s reasons to keep her true nature a secret, it doesn’t break any laws. In fact, exposing her without her permission could get us in trouble,” explained Murphy Law.

“What? You can get arrested for exposing one of those things?” asked Diamond Tiara in disbelief.

“Well, not arrested, per se. But there are social consequences for exposing someone's dirty laundry when it’s not controversial or dangerous, changeling or not. The sort of consequences that can haunt you for the rest of you life. If you want to expose her, you’re going to want to convince her to reveal herself, or at least hide the fact that it was you who did it. And even if you do, it probably won’t amount to much,” said Murphy Law.

Diamond Tiara fumed, but didn’t object.

“Next, the robot. Assuming she’s really what you claim, that is. Last time I checked, robots don’t exist. And as such, there are no laws about being a robot. Nor any laws on keeping it a secret that you are a robot. While exposing her might cause her some trouble, legally she’s completely clean. And you did mention that one of the Princesses already knows about her, right?” asked Murphy Law.

“Well, yeah. But…” said Diamond Tiara.

“Then the moment she is exposed, the Princess will most certainly get involved, and everything will surely end up going in the filly’s favor. And I doubt the Princess will be happy with whoever did the exposing. And getting on the bad side of the Princess is a good way to become shunned by the rest of Equestria. And guess what, kid? No amount of your daddy’s money will save you from the Princess’s fury,” said Murphy Law.

Diamond Tiara’s anger grew stronger, but she still had no objections.

“And finally, there’s the ghoul. Yes, ghoul, not zombie. There is a difference. While she’s the only one who we could possibly have a case against, I’m already fairly certain that we don’t. Though I suppose I can do a quick check if you want. You said she was burnt black with red eyes, and her family is aware of her condition, correct?” asked Murphy Law.

Diamond Tiara only answered with a grunt and a nod.

Murphy Law pulled out a large black book with nasty looking symbols on the cover. He opened it, and flipped through a few pages.

“Ah, here we are. She is likely a class G ghoul. From a legal standpoint, class G ghouls have all the rights and protections of any other citizen of Equestria, provided that their curse has been properly sealed and they have registered themselves with the Royal Dark Arts Department. If she’s been out and about in town and there has not been an outbreak of undead, it’s safe to assume her curse is sealed,” declared Murphy Law.

“OK, but what about that Dark Arts thing?” asked Diamond Tiara.

“Well, not registering is only a problem if the ghoul in question can be proven to have been hiding their condition from the government. If she was just not aware of the requirement, then all we’d accomplish is making her fill out some paperwork. Besides, if her family is aware of her condition and accepting of it, I suspect they have learned about the department and registered her,” said Murphy Law.

“But… but… maybe they're all ghouls or something?” suggested Diamond Tiara.

“That would make only more likely that she’s registered. Just because most of the public is unaware of how the undead function does not mean the crown is negligent. It wouldn’t let a single ghoul run around Equestria unnoticed, let alone an entire family. It’s right here in black and white, kid: there is no case here on any of them for me to work with,” finished Murphy Law.

Diamond Tiara slammed her face onto the desk.

“Hey, watch it. If you break my furniture, you’re paying for it,” stated Murphy Law.

“Ugh… OK, so we can’t get them arrested. Is there something we can call them out on, and use that as an excuse to expose them? Maybe charges for property damage? Disturbing the peace? Anything?” asked Diamond Tiara.

Murphy Law shook his head.

“This is Ponyville. There’s so much property damage and disturbances that even if we could pin something on them, it’d be hardly grounds for an arrest. As far as I can tell, the only thing you could aim to accomplish is driving them out of town with an angry mob. And that sort of thing never sticks. Especially if at least one of them is in touch with a Princess. Face it, kid, you got nothing here,” said Murphy Law.

Diamond Tiara felt ready to explode, but managed to keep it in check, if only barely. Murphy Law wasn’t one of the ponies she was seeking vengeance against, after all.

“Well, fine! I’ll just come up with something on my own,” said Diamond Tiara as she got up and turned to leave.

“Hey, you still need to pay me,” said Murphy Law.

Diamond Tiara turned back towards him with a glare.

“Why should I pay you for wasting my time?” countered Diamond Tiara.

“No kid, you need to pay me for wasting my time. It was stated in the consultation rate on the door to my office. Either you pay up, or I sue you. Now that’ll be one thousand and twenty four bits,” said Murphy Law.

Diamond Tiara’s jaw dropped.

“One thousand and twenty four bits?! What kind of rip off is that?! The door said your rate is two hundred!” cried Diamond Tiara.

“Yes, but that’s just the entry fee. I also charge for every minute that passes, for every question asked, and for every resource I have to refer to. By the way, the bill is now one thousand and fifty two bits,” said Murphy Law.

It was at this moment that Diamond Tiara learned why everypony hated lawyers so much.

“We get it. You have a really crazy suggestion that neither of us are really going to be happy about, but you think it’s worth mentioning. Just spit it out already.”

Diamond Tiara paced back and forth in her room, trying to come up with a plan. Key word being try. No matter what ideas popped into her head, two obstacles prevented her from going through with one.

First, she would have to be subtle about exposing the freaks. The law was on their side, unfair as that was, so she couldn’t let it come back to her. She didn’t care what the fillies at school thought of her, let alone those losers, but she did care about having a permanent record as a snitch. As as Murphy Law had reminded her, with the Princesses likely involved, such a record would most certainly be made if she was caught.

Second, just exposing them wouldn’t be enough. They had friends in high places, and the ponies close to them would not be affected. She was going to have to do more if she wanted this to have any real impact on the fillies. She’d settle for just driving them out of town, but angry mobs were a lot harder to start than a panicked stampede.

Diamond Tiara sighed as she flopped onto her bed. After all the mud, anger, and wasted bits, she was honestly wondering if this was even worth the trouble. She’d have to put so much effort into whatever plan she came up with, and it might not even ruin those freaks’ lives for very long.

It just wasn’t fair that after uncovering such juicy secrets, she couldn’t do anything with them.

Then again, it wasn’t like life was fair either. Just look at her…

NO!

Diamond sat up and rapidly banged her head with her hoof. IT had snuck up on her. IT was on the verge of escaping. She had to stop IT.

Yes… that was why she was doing this. She had to keep IT at bay. No matter how much effort it took, it would be worth it as long as IT would stay quiet. She had to keep IT back. She had to.

She had to.

“OK… After everything we’ve been through and learned, have you girls ever wondered if we should… you know…”

It took all night, but Diamond Tiara came up with a plan. One that would expose the freaks, push the blame for it away from her, and, most importantly, would only take a single day to set up. She’d be able to do the deed before IT came out. She wasted no time, and got to work.

Setting up a town meeting was easy. All it took was a few well chosen words with the mayor, and the old coot was convinced that there was some sort of spy in town. She was also quickly convinced that Diamond Tiara wasn’t the only one who knew about the spy, but they were all having difficulty pinning down the culprit. Hence the town meeting, so that Diamond “and her allies” would be able to set things up. It also had the benefit of giving her an angle to throw some other pony under the chariot if it came down to it.

It was also easy to set up the leaflets. Featherweight may have been the one who used the school printing press the most, but Diamond Tiara knew how to use the machine herself. She managed to get her papers printed without being detected, even if she ended up having to take even more bubble baths to get the ink out of her coat.

Even making sure the blank flanks were at the front of the crowd when the meeting started proved easy. The mayor wanted the element bearers to be in the front row in case things got out of hoof. They in turn naturally wanted their sisters to be with them, so this step was taken care of without Diamond Tiara doing anything. This also meant that she could leave fewer hoofprints that suggested she was responsible.

The first real hurdle was setting up the fan to the side of the stage. This time of year, there was no real reason for a fan to be used in the first place, so she had to set it up without anypony witnessing her. She also had to set up the wire, and a few well place pieces of loose tape to ensure that when she pulled on it, it would work properly.

Another issue was coming up with a way to get all three to drop their disguises by themselves. No amount of hoof pointing and suspicious paper would convince anyone of anything unless the freaks proved it was true. Diamond Tiara wasn’t certain about how their illusions worked in the first place, and the methods she herself had unwitting used didn’t really appeal to her. If she saw Apple Bloom’s head come off again, she might just end up puking.

But the largest problem was practicing her speech. She had to make sure it was insulting enough that nopony would think she was setting something up, but not so insulting that everypony would just dismiss it as her being a bully. Diamond Tiara had to admit that subtlety wasn’t exactly her strongest skill, but by the time she reached the town hall, she was confident that it would suffice.

At last, it was time. Time to remind Ponyville that everypony gets their comeuppance sooner or later. Time to get revenge on those three blank flanks for all the stress and frustration they’d put her through. But most of all, time to ensure that IT would sink so deeply into her subconscious that she’d never have to worry about IT ever again.

“…Yeah, that’s a serious question. But you know what? I think you might have a point. We really should think about...”

“Thank you all for coming on such short notice. I’m honestly still uncertain myself as to what this is all about, but I suspect it is significant enough for everypony to attend,” said the mayor on her podium.

There was some mumbling in the crowd, but nopony objected. This was Ponyville after all. Everyone was used to unexpected problems.

“Ten bits says it’s just a prank,” whispered Rainbow Dash.

“Ah thought ya were hopin’ it was a monster attack,” Applejack whispered back.

“Yeah, which is why it’s definitely not going to be one. I’ve had a long day so far, and I have a feeling that it’s only going to get longer,” replied Rainbow Dash.

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes, annoyed that she had to wait next to these weirdos. Once again, she wondered how in the world these ponies were the ones who had saved Equestria several times over. It had to be some sort of cosmic joke.

“I have been informed from a source that wishes to remain anonymous that there may be some sort of infiltration force in our town. And no, I am not referring to our new changeling allies,” said the mayor.

That was Diamond Tiara’s cue. As the crowd started to mutter, she glanced around to make sure nopony was looking directly at her. Then she rubbed her hoof across the ground, searching. It took her only a moment to find the bit of clear wire she had laid across the ground beforehoof, which was nearly invisible in the hall’s lighting. She quickly grabbed hold of it, checked to make sure nopony else was standing on it, and gave it a tug.

She felt it give slightly. She’d tied the string to the on/off switch of the fan she’d set up, using carefully folded tape to ensure it would work. She quickly tossed the wire to the ground, so that nopony would know she had been the one to pull it. She couldn’t hear the fan starting up over the crowd, but that was the plan.

“While I am not certain as to why or how, I believe… huh?” the mayor’s voice cut off as sheets of paper began flying into the crowd.

“What the hay…” said Rainbow Dash as she quickly snatched one out of the air.

Her eyes quickly grew wide in shock as she looked at it.

They weren’t blank sheets of paper. They were leaflets, which Diamond Tiara had stacked up in front of the fan so that they’d be blown into the crowd of gathered ponies. They had also proven useful in hiding said fan. Each sheet had four little sentences that would hopefully tear apart those three fillies:

Apple Bloom is a ghoul.

Sweetie Belle is a robot.

Scootaloo is a changeling.

And all three of them are dangerous.

The last line was the important part. After all, if Diamond Tiara was going to push the gathered crowd into an angry mob, she was going to have to rattle them up.

The mayor could only watch in stunned silence as ponies read the leaflets then started loudly mumbling. There were a few cries of “What?!” and “Is this true?!” The freaks themselves caught a sheet fairly quickly, and their expressions quickly turned to horror.

Diamond Tiara, however, patiently waited until one of the pamphlets landed in front of her before picking it up. She then took the time to actually read it, then braced herself. Show time.

“What the hay is this?!” she cried before turning towards the freaks with a shocked expression.

She trotted over towards them, making certain to move quickly enough that Equestria's “heroes” couldn’t stop her.

“I knew there was something wrong with you blank flanks, but I didn’t know you were all monsters!” she cried.

She took no small delight at their terrified expressions. The crowd quickly turned to focus on them. To Diamond Tiara’s delight, she saw the many ponies bore scared looks. And because she and the freaks were in the front, there was no way the three of them were going to just slip out.

“Now just hold on a second…” started Applejack.

Diamond Tiara wasn’t going to give her the chance to get things under control.

“How long has this been going on, huh?! Have you three been planning to eat us or something?!” demanded Diamond Tiara.

“What?! No! That’s not true!” said Apple Bloom.

The crowd’s muttered was getting louder. Perfect.

“Yeah? Well then why don’t you just prove it. Is there a unicorn here who can break illusions?” Diamond Tiara called out into the crowd.

Before anypony in the crowd could speak up, Rarity stepped forward.

“I believe that’s quite enough. There’s no reason for...” said Rarity.

Diamond Tiara wasn’t surprised that Rarity was also in the know. In fact, this fit nicely into the plan.

“Why the hay not?! If they have nothing to hide, then why not just let us see if it’s true or not?! Are you in on this mess too and trying to cover for them?!” demanded Diamond Tiara.

That got the crowd talking. It also made it that much harder for the freaks’ siblings to help, as any attempt to dismiss the matter would now be regarded with suspicion.

Not that this stopped Rainbow Dash.

“Oh yeah? Whoever wrote this is obviously just making things up. It says that one of them’s a changeling. I mean, even if that’s true, are we supposed to be upset that one’s a changeling? We just had a meeting last week about this. They’re not our enemies,” Rainbow said loudly.

“Yeah!” said an undisguised changeling in the crowd.

“Yes, a meeting where changelings were supposed to reveal themselves! But this one didn’t! She wouldn’t have done that unless she’s hiding something else! What are you, you freak?!” demanded Diamond Tiara as she pointed a hoof at the blank flanks.

“That’s not what…” the Mayor tried to say.

“Come on! Show us! Unless you can prove that it’s all fake!” demanded Diamond Tiara.

The muttering of the crowd got louder, making it hard to tell what exactly everypony was muttering about. But that was fine. The important part was getting the three of them to think that there was no way out of this. That they had no choice but to reveal themselves. And judging from the terrified expressions on their faces, Diamond Tiara’s plan had worked like a charm.

But then something happened that Diamond Tiara had not been expecting. The three of them looked at each other for a moment, then without a word they nodded at each other. Their expressions, while still nervous, became determined.

“Ya know what, sure. We’ll prove it. Honestly, after everythin’ we’ve been through these last few days, this ain’t nearly as scary as it used to be,” said Apple Bloom.

“Yeah. I wish we’d had more time to get ready, but we’re prepared to go through with it,” said Sweetie Belle with a nod.

“Kind of a shame after I spent so much time deciding to keep it a secret, but life isn’t always fair,” said Scootaloo with a shake of her head.

Diamond Tiara blinked in surprise. What the hay was this? They were clearly still scared, so where was this sudden courage coming from?

Their sisters were confused as well.

“Are you sure about this, darlings?” asked Rarity.

“We could say that this is all just a misunderstandin’, maybe?” added Applejack.

“Or we could at least go first and explain things a bit,” suggested Rainbow.

Diamond Tiara was about to object, but she was beaten to the punch.

“No, it’s fine. We’ll take care of it,” answered Apple Bloom with a shake of her head.

“Making excuses now will just make things worse,” added Scootaloo with a sigh.

“Yep. Like it or not, this is it,” said Sweetie Belle in a tone that gave away her fear, but she remained determined.

The crowd grew silent as the three of them climbed onto the stage, anxious to hear what they had to say.

Diamond Tiara almost cackled in delight. The plan had worked, but not for the reasons Diamond Tiara thought it did.

“… coming clean. I mean, it’s kind of terrifying to think about, but it doesn’t really seem like an ‘end of our lives’ kind of situation anymore. Everypony whose opinion we really care about already knows.”

“I don’t think we should just go out and yell it to the town, but I agree we should prepare for it. Besides, it’s only a matter of time before one of us slips up again. At the very least we should make plans for when that finally happens.”

“Alright, we’ll explain everythin’. All we ask is that y’all hear us out before jumpin’ to any conclusions,” announced Apple Bloom.

There were nods and sounds of agreement, but the crowd mostly remained silent.

Scootaloo stepped forward first.

“First of all, it’s true. I am a changeling,” she said.

There was a bright flash of green fire, and her true form was revealed to the crowd. There were a few gasps, but most of the crowd remained silent. This was the easy one, after all.

“I don’t think I have to say anything about what I am. But I can say why I wanted to keep my true nature a secret. I can think of several reasons why, but I think the big one is because I’ve lived almost my entire life as a pegasus, and I didn’t want that to change that,” explained Scootaloo.

There was a little mumbling at this, though a few ponies seemed to be satisfied with that answer already.

“And to be honest, I was scared. Scared of what would happen to me if I revealed myself. But I want to believe that the ponies in this town are trusting and forgiving enough to give me and my fellow changelings a chance. It’s been a week now since we went public. And while some of you are still nervous about us, I’ve seen how most of you are willing to let us prove ourselves,” said Scootaloo.

There was some more mumbling, though now it was much more positive.

“My friend and I are not sharing our secrets now just because of this meeting, or whatever the hay this was supposed to be. We’re sharing because we think we’re ready. Ready to show everypony what we really are. And besides, I figured it was only a matter of time before somepony figured it out. I mean, I’m kind of surprised nopony’s called me out over that ‘distant cousin’ incident yet,” said Scootaloo.

There were several facehooves in the crowd from their classmates. Diamond Tiara was one of them.

“I figured it out, but I also figured you had your reasons for staying quiet, so I didn’t bring it up,” Dinky called out from the crowd.

Scootaloo gave a grateful nod before stepping back. Apple Bloom stepped forward next.

“Ah’ll go second, and just so y’all know, mah secret’s kind of scary lookin’,” said Apple Bloom.

She reached up and undid her bow. A moment later, her true form was revealed. Her horrifying body made more than few ponies in the crowd gasp in terror.

“Woah. This is just like one of my comic books!” exclaimed some random stallion.

“Yeah, Ah know. Ah ain’t exactly pretty. But before anypony gets any ideas, Ah want to assure y’all that Ah ain’t contagious. The first thing that happened after Ah was turned into this was gettin’ mah cursed sealed. Ah’m not more dangerous then anypony else in town,” said Apple Bloom.

“I can confirm that this is true. I was the one who sealed it, with some help from Zecora,” added Twilight Sparkle.

The crowd seemed to let out a simultaneous sigh of relief, and the fear and horror seemed to vanish from the air.

“As for why Ah’m like this, well that’s a bit of an interestin’ story,” said Apple Bloom.

Apple Bloom then shared her tale. More than a few ponies were concerned to hear that there was a cursed town hiding somewhere in the everfree forest. Still, most ponies simply felt sympathetic to the poor filly.

“...So that’s it. Ah’m just a filly who ended up gettin’ caught up in somethin’ messy. Ah ain’t gonna pretend that Ah haven’t been turned into a dark and twisted thing, but Ah’m not a monster. Ah’ve sworn to never become a monster. And Ah hope y’all can see that for yerselves,” finished Apple Bloom.

The crowd was quiet, but then the same stallion from before raised a hoof.

“Hey, uh… you can do that ‘break off body parts’ thing, right? You see, I want to impress this mare in Plowsburgh and if you could help me make it look like I can break a pony into pieces with a single buck…”

Apple Bloom gave him an unamused look.

“Ah’ll just do ya a favor and say no. That won’t impress anypony,” she answered.

“Aw…” moaned the stallion.

There were a few chuckles from the crowd, as even more tension left the building. Satisfied, Apple Bloom stepped back. Now it was Sweetie Belle’s turn.

Without a word, Sweetie Belle opened up her chest. The illusion was broken for almost everypony in town. The reactions to this reveal however, were far more positive than the last two.

“Whoa! That is so cool!” said somepony in the crowd.

“As for me, well it’s a bit more complicated than the others. And I can’t say everything, because it involves time travel, and I’m not supposed to give out spoilers. And while I am kind of a robot, it’s more like a full body prosthetic than anything,” said Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle’s story was more or less a repeat of what Dr. Brown had told them, though Sweetie Belle took care to omit a few crucial details, such as the existence of AAT. She was willing to share her secret alongside her friends, but she wasn’t about to put a target on her back like that.

Honestly, it was kind of surprising how nopony objected to the idea of time travel. Then again, it wasn’t exactly the first time Ponyville had gotten caught up in temporal shenanigans.

“... And that’s about it. My body may be made of metal, but the parts of me that really matter are not. I realize that I might be one of the weirdest ponies in Ponyville, which is certainly saying something, but I am still a pony. And I hope you believe me when I say that,” finished Sweetie Belle.

“You’ve got our support!” called out Vinyl Scratch.

“Indeed!” added Octavia.

There were several nods and sounds of acknowledgement as well. There were still a few ponies who seemed uncertain, but the vast majority of the crowd was now in full support of the three fillies. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo stepped forward, joining their friend and looking out at the ponies who were willing to accept them for what they were.

The mayor cleared her throat.

“Well, I can’t say I expected any of this, but I believe I speak for everypony when I say that this revelation changes nothing. We are all still very glad to have you three as part of our community,” said the mayor with a smile.

The crowd gave its agreement. The three of them all felt a great deal of relief and joy that it had all turned out so well.

Though, as they would later learn, it wasn’t the unusual nature of the three of them that scared so many ponies at first. It was simply fear of the unknown. This was bucking Ponyville, after all. Weirdness was simply par for the course. And now that the answers were laid out, everypony was willing to accept what was ultimately just a few more marks on the list of strange things in town.

In fact, a cheerful melody started to fill the air. Ponies began bobbing to the beat. Soon, the entire hall was caught up in a Heartsong. Everypony happily joined into the chorus of acceptance and welcoming those who are unusual.

Everypony, that is, except for one.

Diamond Tiara was angry. So angry, in fact, that words could not do justice to describe how angry she was. Her plan had worked perfectly, and now everypony in town knew the truth about the freaks. And yet, all they did was cheer for them. Support them. Sing for them. There was no possible way for her to turn this crowd into an angry mob now.

All that effort, and all she did was make the three of them feel loved. So loved that it triggered a Heartsong. The injustice of it all made her blood boil. Her anger at the moment was possibly the greatest she had ever felt in her life. And all that anger needed to be unleashed.

She threw back her head and let loose an unearthly wail that echoed through the town hall. It was so loud and powerful that it shattered the Heartsong in a way that would have made any skilled Versebreaker proud. The ponies standing next to her quickly backed away as everypony in the hall turned to look at her. Her cry lasted for far longer than was reasonable, but a last Diamond Tiara ran out of breath.

Huffing and puffing, she looked up at the fillies on the stange with deep and powerful loathing.

“It’s. Not. Fair!” She screamed.

Ponies looked at each other nervously, unsure what was going on. Diamond Tiara ignored them, focusing solely on those three miserable ponies.

“You’re nothing but a bunch of freaks! You should be driven out of town! But all anypony wants to do is cheer! CHEER AND SING!” she cried.

Her voice was uneven and raving. Her words were wild and impulsive. But Diamond Tiara was beyond caring.

“This is not how it works! This is wrong! This is all wrong! Wrong, wrong WRONG!” she screamed while stomping on the ground.

Several ponies looked like they were ready to move forward and stop her, or at least object to what she was saying. But none could do anything other than watch in shock.

“It’s wrong! It HAS to be wrong! Because if it isn’t wrong then why…” Diamond Tiara’s voice cracked.

IT was coming.

“Then why…” she gasped out.

No. No, she couldn’t let IT out! Not now!

“Then why…” she repeated herself.

But IT was so strong now. IT was being shoved so bluntly into her face that nothing Diamond Tiara could do would be able to stop IT now. And part of Diamond Tiara knew it.

“Then why…” she said yet again, as tears began to build in her eyes.

Still, she tried to hold IT back. She had to hold IT. She had to!

“Then why…” she said in a softer voice as the tears started to fall.

But it was no use. IT pushed past her defences, and she was forced to acknowledge what she had been trying so desperately to suppress.

“Then why… why doesn’t my mom love me?”

Diamond Tiara’s words were barely a whisper, but they left a deep, and powerful blow to her very being. That was IT. The truth she’d spend years trying desperately to pretend wasn’t true. But it was true. Just like Silver Spoon had said, IT had to be shoved into her face for her to accept IT.

And in accepting IT, Diamond Tiara broke.

She fell to the ground, sobbing hysterically. She didn’t notice how everypony looked at her in pity. She didn’t notice her mother making a scene, and the disgust her words were sparking in the crowd. She didn’t notice her father lean over her and try to comfort her with a words of reassurance and a gentle hug.

She didn’t even notice the three ponies on the stage looking at her with guilt of all things.

All she could comprehend was the deeply rooted despair that had once again consumed her like it had years ago. Because she could no longer deny the truth.

And for Diamond Tiara, the truth hurt.

Author's Note

Alright, here we go. Finale time. Yes, the CMC going public eventually was the plan from the start. And yes, We'll be going into more detail about the consequences of this event for both the Crusaders and Diamond Tiara next chapter.

As for Diamond's breakdown... well, if the show was willing to address this sort of thing, albeit through a musical number, I can get away with putting it here, right? A pony in her situation wouldn't handle her stress relief ignoring her very well.

Chapter 19: ...To Fit the Frame

“This is it. You ready, girls?” asked Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle nodded as the three of them trotted to the schoolhouse.

“Right. Now, we all know everypony said they were going to accept us, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to pretend nothing’s happened. We’re going to be stared at, bombarded with questions, and Celestia knows what else. Not to mention Sweetie Belle’s going to need to have a long talk with her coltfriend,” said Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle groaned.

“How many times do I need to say it?! Button Mash is not my coltfriend!” cried Sweetie Belle.

“Right… and that hug was totally non romantic?” asked Scootaloo with an eye roll.

Sweetie Belle let out a squeak as her face turned red.

“Yeah, I heard about that. You’re going to have to try extra hard to convince me that you two aren’t a thing now,” said Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle mumbled under her breath, but didn’t argue.

“As I was saying, we all know what we’re in for. Today is going to be long and awkward, but we’re going to get through it,” finished Scootaloo.

“At least we won’t have to worry about bein’ bullied. Ah mean, after what happened to Diamond Tiara yesterday…” said Apple Bloom.

The three of them grew quiet. After Diamond Tiara had broken down, her mother had started making excuse after excuse. As the crowd grew angrier and angrier, the three fillies had been escorted out of the building by their sisters. Probably for the best, considering it almost sounded like a fight had broken out shortly after they'd stepped outside.

From what they’d overheard later, it seemed that Filthy and Spoiled Rich were currently at their mansion, having a very extensive argument along with the mayor and a few other important ponies. Diamond Tiara, meanwhile, was staying at Silver Spoon’s house until her parents and the authorities could reach an agreement.

Nopony knew what would come of this, so for now everypony was just trying to go about their business as usual, key word being try. The rumor mill was in full swing, spinning everything from an arranged marriage to somepony being unfaithful. Nopony knew what was true anymore.

There was a silver lining, though: this incident had pushed the CMC’s secrets onto the backburner. It’d be a day or two before they’d have the entire town’s focus on them again. It was a nice little bit of breathing room, though their classmates were likely going to get on their case during recess.

All the same, the three of them were rather troubled by why they were getting a little more attention time in the first place.

“Look, we’ll worry about that once everypony figures out what happens next. It’s completely out of our hooves right now. Let’s just focus on getting through school today, alright?” said Scootaloo.

“Right,” said Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom.

Being a teacher is a tough job. You had to be patient as a saint, caring as a mother, and engaging enough to not only keep the children’s attention, but ensure that the lessons you teach actually stick. But teaching in Ponyville? Well, if nothing else, Cheerilee was a testament to the long line of Ponyville teachers who had to learn how to build a curriculum around weekly disasters.

Case in point: from the moment Cheerilee walked into the classroom, she could tell that her lesson plan for the day would be wasted. Every filly and colt in front of her looked distracted at best, or deeply troubled at worst. And honestly, she was half tempted to just cancel class. What had happened to Diamond Tiara yesterday had shaken her just as much as her students.

On top of that, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were absent today, not that Cheerilee blamed either of them. Diamond Tiara was in no condition to come to school right now, and she desperately needed a friend. Cheerilee had already marked them both with “excused absence.”

But Cherrilee couldn't cancel. With the sheer number of “disaster days” she had on the calendar, she needed to squeeze in every lesson she could. But besides that, there was another pressing issue she felt needed to be addressed, and this would be a great opportunity to kill two birds with one stone (Cheerilee silently apologized to Fluttershy for the expresion).

“Alright, everypony. Who’s ready for another day of learning?” asked Cheerilee.

Unsurprisingly, she got a rather half-hearted response.

“Now, I’m certain that we’re all a little put off by yesterday's surprises, so we’re not going to bother with the schedule today. Instead, we’re going to learn about some very interesting and unusual topics,” said Cheerilee.

A few children perked up at this.

“Apple Bloom? Sweetie Belle? Scootaloo?” called Cheerilee.

The three fillies she named blinked in surprise. More students started paying attention.

“Would you three be willing to step up and tell us a little more about yourselves? You gave us all a brief outline of your situations, but I believe we’re all eager to learn whatever else you can tell us. And I think we could all use something else to think about after certain events yesterday,” said Cheerilee.

The three of them shared a nervous look, but then they nodded, stood up from their desks, and made their way to the blackboard. Now the entire class was focused and attentive. True, this wasn’t exactly on the lesson plan, but at least the students would be learning something today.

Cheerilee was also proud of the three of them for having the courage to step forward and talk. The three of them had grown by a surprising amount the last few months. Then again, this was probably easy compared to actually sharing their secrets in the first place.

Apple Bloom cleared her throat.

“Well, the first thing Ah should explain is that there are three kinds of undead…”

The girls would later admit that talking about their situations so openly was a surprisingly pleasant experience. While it was mostly them repeating things they already knew, There was just something so relieving about putting everything that made them so unique together in a clear, explained manner.

The same could not be said for recess, where the three of them found themselves quickly separated by crowds of young ponies full of questions and weird requests. Well, weird, but not entirely unexpected.

“Huh. I think I’m a litthle thaller than thath,” said Twist.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. Everypony was a critic.

“Now try me!” exclaimed Dinky.

With a sigh, Scootaloo was once again covered in green flames before reappearing as Dinky’s twin. Well, almost her twin.

“My horn isn't that long,” noted Dinky.

Scootaloo barely held back a groan.

“Well, yeah. I don’t have a lot of experience making unicorn disguises. Of course I’m going to get a few details wrong,” said Scootaloo.

“I know. I’m not saying I’m offended or anything. I’m just telling you what you did wrong so can do better next time,” said Dinky with a shrug.

Scootaloo sighed. Even if Dinky meant well, Scootaloo got plenty of criticism for her disguises from the hivemind. She really didn’t need this.

Apple Bloom wasn’t fairing much better.

“Come on, show us!” cried Rumble.

“Yeah!” added Snips.

With a sigh, Apple Bloom undid her bow, revealing her undead form. The crowd of ponies around her, mostly colts, oohed and aahed.

“Woah… that is so creepy and awesome!” said Snips.

“Now take your head off! You said you can do that sort of thing, right?” said Rumble.

Feeling more than a little weirded out, Apple Bloom snapped her neck, and lifted her head above her.

Huh. So that’s what the world looked like to an adult. It wasn’t that different, really.

“Now show us your insides!” said Snails.

That was where Apple Bloom drew the line.

“What?! No! Ah’m not spilling mah guts all over the school yard. And besides, mah insides are just as disgusin’ as a livin’ pony’s,” said Apple Bloom.

“Yeah, that’s why we want to see them!” said Snips.

Apple Bloom would have facehooved if she wasn’t busy holding her head up.

Sweetie Belle, meanwhile, probably had it the worse.

“For the last time, I don’t have built in lasers!” exclaimed Sweetie Belle.

“But you’re a robot. How can you not have lasers?” asked Ruby Pinch.

“Because the ponies who built this body weren’t mad scientists,” answered Sweetie Belle.

“Aw…” moaned Ruby Pinch as she kicked the dirt.

Sweetie Belle signed. That was the seventh pony to ask her that. She was getting tired of answering the same questions over and over again. Could this get any more stressful?

“Sweetie Belle?” asked a familiar voice.

Sweetie Belle let out a soft squeak as she turned to see Button Mash looking at her with wide eyes. Button Mash had an uncertain look on his face, which put Sweetie Belle very much on edge.

“You’re really a robot?” asked Button Mash.

Sweetie Belle took a deep breath.

Calm down, Sweetie Belle. You’re not trying to convince your coltfriend to stay with you despite being a robot. You’re just trying to make sure your friend isn’t scared off by your condition. You’re just friends with Button Mash, no matter what Scootaloo thinks, Sweetie Belle reminded herself.

“Well, yeah. I’m pretty sure I made that clear yesterday. You can see past my illusion thing now, after all…” mumbled Sweetie Belle.

“I know. It’s just… well…” Button stumbled over his words.

Sweetie Belle glanced at the ponies watching them. Many of them had smirks on their faces, much to Sweetie Belle’s embarrassment. Just how far had the news about that hug spread?

“Just so… so…” mumbled Button.

Sweetie Belle waited nervously as Button struggled to voice his thoughts, not sure what to expect.

“So… cool!” exclaimed Button.

Sweetie Belle blinked in surprise.

“I mean, yeah it’s a little strange, but you're a real life robot! It’s like you’re a superhero out of a comic book or something! And you traveled through time too! You’re so amazing, Sweetie Belle! And not to mention…” rambled Button Mash.

Sweetie Belle let out a sigh and shook her head. She’d forgotten who she was friends with for a moment there. As if Button Mash of all ponies would be bothered by hanging out with a robot. She really should have seen this coming. And now Button was going to spend several minutes doing his cute little “geek out” and…

Wait…

Did I just think Button Mash is CUTE?! thought Sweetie Belle in a mild panic.

At last, the school day came to an end. It had been an exhausting day for the three of them (not to mention Sweetie Belle had been blushing non stop all afternoon) but it was finally over.

Their classmates had sated their curiosity, they got to explain things in greater detail, and most importantly, they now had clear proof that the ponies of Ponyville were truly willing to accept the three of them, weird as they were. For despite all the annoying proding, not one pony had called for them to leave town.

Not that there had been too much doubt about that. It was just nice to get some confirmation.

“Whew… glad that’s over,” said Apple Bloom with a sigh of relief as they trotted through town.

“Yeah… over…” mumbled Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle was still blushing. Scootaloo had a suspicion as to why, but she decided Sweetie Belle seemed embarrassed enough already. Besides, if she pushed Sweetie Belle any further she might faint, and then Scootaloo would have to carry her the rest of the way.

“Welp, it’s official. Our secrets are out, and we’re still here. So, now what? Life just goes on same as always?” asked Scootaloo.

“Ah doubt it. Life will go on, but it’ll be different. In some ways for the better, and other ways for the worse,” said Apple Bloom.

“Let me guess, that’s what your sister told you after you were cursed, right?” asked Scootaloo with a smirk.

“Well, duh. Since when have Ah been one for fancy poetry,” replied Apple Bloom with an eye roll.

“Poetry…” mumbled Sweetie Belle as her face somehow got even more red.

Sweetie Belle was clearly getting ideas. Feeling pity for her, Scootaloo pulled Sweetie Belle into a hug.

“Ah, lighten up, Sweetie Belle. It’s Button Mash. His idea of a romantic evening is probably staying at home and playing video games. Does he really seem like the kind of pony who’d read sappy poetry to your window? And besides, as much as we tease you about it, there’s nothing wrong with having a coltfriend,” said Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle let out a sigh, and the color finally started to fade from her face.

“Yeah… you’re right. And he’s still not my coltfriend. Just because I think he’s cute doesn’t mean we’re a couple,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Not yet at least. We’ll see how long that takes,” said Apple Bloom with a giggle.

Sweetie Belle gave her a good natured shove, but her confidence had returned.

“Hey, uh… can I talk with you three for a second?” called a voice.

The CMC turned towards the speaker, and were surprised to see that it was Silver Spoon.

The girls just stood there, uncertain about what to say or do. On the one hoof, they really didn’t want to deal with her. But they couldn’t just ignore her after what had happened yesterday, and she had a really troubled look on her face. And shouldn’t she have been with Diamond Tiara?

Silver Spoon let out a sigh.

“Look, I get that you probably want nothing to do with me, but can you at least hear me out? I need some advice,” admitted Silver Spoon.

The CMC shared an awkward look.

“Advice on what?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Advice on what the buck I’m supposed to do as a friend,” answered Silver Spoon.

While the CMC were reluctant to let Silver Spoon into their clubhouse, they had to acknowledge that this was not the sort of conversation to be having in the middle of the street. So instead they opted to head to the much closer privacy of Carousel Boutique. Well, private once they made sure Rarity was out gem hunting.

They wasted no time once they were all seated.

“So… I guess this is about Diamond Tiara, right?” asked Scootaloo.

“Yeah,” said Silver Spoon with a nod.

The filly seemed rather subdued and nervous. She took a deep breath, then looked at the others with a resigned expression.

“But first, I want to apologize. I’m not going to pretend that the bullying didn’t happen and you weren’t hurt by it. It was a horrible thing to do, and I realize now that it didn’t even help Diamond Tiara at all. So… I’m sorry,” admitted Silver Spoon.

“You bullied us… to help Diamond Tiara?” asked Sweetie Belle in confusion.

Silver Spoon let out a sigh.

“In hindsight, I can see what a stupid idea it was, but yeah. It wasn’t about the blank flanks, or the fact that we’re richer than all of you, or anything like that. It was about letting Diamond Tiara vent some of her frustration. I figured that as long as we didn’t go too far, a little teasing wouldn’t really hurt anyone, and Diamond Tiara desperately needed some sort of release,” explained Silver Spoon.

“Not too far? Really?” asked Scootaloo with a glare.

“Well, yeah. We were teasing you about not having cutie marks. You know, the thing that everypony gets eventually? Of course our teasing wouldn't ruin your lives. You’d get your marks eventually and get over us. Just like everyone else in class did before we started bullying you three,” answered Silver Spoon.

The girls shared an uncertain look. That didn’t sound like actual logic (and Apple Bloom thought it sounded a little too similar to what a certain ghoul had claimed), but it made some twisted degree of sense. And it wasn’t like either of them could have known that none of the CMC would ever get their marks.

“OK… but why? Ah mean, after yesterday we all kind of get that Diamond Tiara had some issues at home but… was it really that bad?” asked Apple Bloom.

Silver Spoon’s expression grew hard.

“Apple Bloom, I’ll only forgive that statement because I know you never got the chance to know your parents. You know what it’s like to have that sort of hole in your life. But can you even imagine what it’s like to have parents who despise your very existence?” asked Silver Spoon.

That gave the Crusaders pause.

“Her parents despise her? I mean, I can see that from her mother, but is Filthy Rich really like that?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Silver Spoon let out another sigh.

“Well, no. Diamond Tiara’s dad has a different problem. He wants nothing to do with her. It’s not that he doesn’t care about her, it’s just… well… he’s kind of terrified of being a father. Have you three ever heard about Diamond’s grandfather?” asked Silver Spoon.

“No… should we have?” asked Scootaloo.

“Well, he named his son Filthy, for starters. You see, he was…” said Silver Spoon.

This scene has been removed due to excessive drama in a slice of life comedy fanfiction. Seriously, we don’t need to drag Diamond Tiara’s daddy’s daddy issues into this mess as well.

And trust me, you really don’t want to know the details.

“...so after all that, Filthy Rich was so traumatized that he never wanted to be a father. He’s afraid he’d end up doing something like that to his own child,” finished Silver Spoon.

The CMC could only stare at her in silent horror. The same could not be said for Scootaloo’s hivemind.

Wow. That was one of the most messed up things I’ve ever heard, said Uno.

I don’t think even Twitch would go that far, added Beetle.

Yeah. I’d never do anything like that, added Twitch.

The entire Cloudsdale hive paused to mentally look at Twitch in disbelief.

Hey, even I have standards! objected Twitch.

Could have fooled me, said Lynx.

Scootaloo turned her attention back to the matter at hoof.

“Right, so Diamond’s dad doesn’t want to spend time with her because of… reasons. Though if he’s so terrified of being a father, why’d he have a kid in the first place?” asked Scootaloo.

“Because his wife convinced him that having a child would get her to stop being such a horrible pony,” answered Silver Spoon.

The room was silent for a moment.

“I get that motherhood changes a pony, but…” started Sweetie Belle.

Silver Spoon let out yet another sigh.

“Let me rephrase that: his wife convinced him that this time agreeing with her demands would get her to stop being such a horrible pony. She said the same thing about getting married, and moving into a fancy house, and hiring a butler, and pretty much everything she ever asked of him. I don’t know why he’s put up with her for so long, but he has,” explained Silver Spoon.

The CMC looked at her in horror once more.

“So the only reason Diamond Tiara was even born was part of some scheme by her mom to keep her rich husband?!” exclaimed Sweetie Belle.

Silver Spoon nodded.

“And that’s why I was willing to help her bully other ponies to feel better,” finished Silver Spoon.

Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo felt terrible at this news. Suddenly their own problems seemed so petty. They were cursed, put in a full body prosthetic, and part of a corrupted civilization, but at least they had their families with them every step of the way. Diamond Tiara’s family were the source of her problems. Her very existence was just part of some vile plan.

How could anypony be so cruel?

“I’m Diamond Tiara’s only friend. I want to help her, but my idea only made things worse. And that’s why I need your help. You three clearly get how to be good friends so... please. What do I do now? How do I help Diamond Tiara feel like she has a place in the world?” asked Silver Spoon.

The CMC looked at each other and nodded. It wasn’t up for debate. Past bullying be darned, they had to do something.

Silver Spoon’s house wasn’t a fancy mansion like Diamond Tiara’s, but it was still impressive: big rooms, fancy paintings, and everything else one would expect from a rich family. Yet the decor was far from everyone's mind. Even as they walked down the hall towards Silver Spoon’s room, they could hear somepony sobbing.

This was going to be awkward, emotional, and possibly even violent, but everypony keep moving forward. They were determined to make things right.

Silver Spoon paused at the door.

“Ready?” she asked.

She got three nods. Silver Spoon then knocked.

“Diamond Tiara?” asked Silver Spoon.

There was a small pause in the crying, but only in the sense that Diamond was whimpering instead of wailing.

“Can I come in?” asked Silver Spoon.

“GO AWAY!” cried Diamond Tiara before she went right back to sobbing.

Silver Spoon sighed. The door wasn’t even locked. It seemed Diamond Tiara hadn’t even gotten out of bed to change that. Silver simply opened it and stepped inside. The CMC nervously followed behind her.

Diamond Tiara was on the bed, curled up with her eyes closed. She looked terrible. Her mane was a tangled mess, her tiara was nowhere to be seen, and despite not wearing makeup there were long tear lines down her face. She’d clearly been crying for quiet some time. She didn’t even seem aware that she had company.

“Diamond…” said Silver Spoon in a soft tone.

“I… *sniff…* I said go away!” cried Diamond, eyes still shut as she turned her body away from them.

“I can’t. I’m your friend Diamond. And while I don’t really know how to be a good friend, I do know that good friends don’t leave their friends to wallow in their misery,” replied Silver Spoon.

“Well… *sniff…* you’re already such a… *sob…* a horrible friend. Why… *sniff…* why stop now?” choked out Diamond Tiara.

“Because no matter how many times you say that, I know you don’t mean it. And I’m willing to do anything to make you feel better, even if you don’t want me to,” replied Silver Spoon.

Diamond Tiara turned back over, clearly ready to glare at her friend, but paused when she spotted the other ponies in the room. She stopped sobbing in shock, but only for a moment.

“Oh. Come to… *sniff…* to mock me? Get revenge for… *sniff…* for everything? Well, fine! Go ahead! ... *sob...* Bask in your victory you… *sniff…* you freaks!” cried Diamond Tiara before she turned away from them again.

Silver Spoon just looked at the CMC with a pleading look. Apple Bloom stepped forward.

“Funny. None of us really consider this a victory. We didn’t plan on this happenin’, And we’re not here to mock ya,” said Apple Bloom.

“Pff… yeah… *sniff…* yeah right. Just get it over with. *sob...* go ahead and mock the living failure of a pony… *sniff…*” spat Diamond Tiara.

“OK, I can think of a lot of words I’d use to describe you (many of them negative), but failure isn’t one of them. Just because your mom thinks…” said Sweetie Belle.

“SHUT UP!” cried Diamond Tiara turning back towards them with utter scorn.

Everypony else in the room backed away.

“Don’t you dare bring up my parents! You… you… That’s what this is about, right? You’re not here to mock me. You’re here to rub salt into me! To make it so I can’t pretend that I’m worth anything! Well buck you too, losers! Get lost!” cried Diamond Tiara before she turned away yet again in a huff.

“Hay no! We’re not here for that either! We’re here to prove the opposite!” objected Scootaloo.

“Oh yeah, sure. As if you freaks could help me even if you wanted to. You can’t even find your own destinies. There’s no way in Tartarus you could change mine,” said Diamond Tiara, not even looking at them.

The CMC and Silver Spoon shared an awkward look.

“OK, we know you have… issues at home, but what does that have to do with destiny?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Diamond Tiara growled and threw off the blanket.

“You see this stupid thing?!” demanded Diamond Tiara as she pointed at her cutie mark.

She didn’t wait for a response.

“It’s a tiara! A tiara that belongs on the head of a perfect little princess! How the buck is being a princess supposed to be a real talent?! I have no skills, no dreams for the future, and no reason to even exist! All I’ll ever amount to is being a… a… *sniff…* a trophy daughter!” cried Diamond Tiara before she collapsed into another sobbing fit.

Nopony said anything as Diamond Tiara cried. They looked at each other in sadness, but ultimately they simply waited for her to calm down a little.

It took almost ten minutes, but eventually Diamond Tiara’s hysterical sobs became meer wimpers. The CMC shared a look, then nodded in agreement. Apple Bloom stepped forward.

“That’s a load of ponyfeathers,” she said.

Diamond Tiara didn’t even look at her.

“There’s no way ya could ever become a Princess,” said Apple Bloom.

That seemed to give Diamond Tiara pause, if only in shock at what she was hearing.

“I don’t see a horn on your head, or wings on your back. You’re not an alicorn, so you’re not a Princess. Unless you know some magic spell that gives you both, you’ll never be one. And last time I checked, you’re not from a royal family, so you’ll never earn the less impressive title of princess either. It’s just not going to happen,” said Scootaloo.

Silver Spoon gave a gasp. That was supposed to make Diamond Tiara feel better?!

“So, there’s no possible way that’s your destiny. That mark on your flank must mean something else,” finished Scootaloo.

Silver Spoon blinked as her objection died on her tongue.

“Think about it. If that’s truly all you’re meant to do and you’re terrible at it, why do you have a cutie mark at all? Shouldn’t be that be the mark of a failure instead? Like a big red F, or a trash can?” added Sweetie Belle.

Diamond Tiara turned back to face them, her expression one of sheer disbelief. A moment later, it turned to one of dismissal.

“Oh, what do the three of you know about cutie marks? You don’t have any!” accused Diamond Tiara.

Apple Bloom gave Diamond Tiara a hardened glare.

“That’s right. We don’t have cutie marks. And we never will. Like ya said, we’re freaks. We’ll never really understand cutie marks, or what it means to have one. But ya want to know something we happen to know quite a bit about? We know all about what it’s like not knowin’ what to do with yourself,” said Apple Bloom.

Apple Bloom stepped forward and looked Diamond Tiara straight in the eyes.

“Ah’m a ghoul. A cursed bein’. Not to mention that mah curse had to be sealed so it doesn’t spread to other ponies. It ain’t too far a stretch to call me a monster. Most ponies with mah condition end up doin’ horrible things. Hay, a group of ghouls tried to kidnap me not too long ago because they thought Ah’d join them and help destroy the world,” said Apple Bloom.

“Wait, what?!” exclaimed Silver Spoon.

She was shushed by the others.

“But ya know what Ah realized? Bein’ a ghoul doesn’t make me evil. Ah said no to those ghouls. Ah swore that Ah would never let mah curse determine what Ah make of mahself. Ah don’t know what that means Ah’ll end up doin’, but Ah know it ain’t goin’ to be hurtin’ other ponies. What Ah am doesn’t matter as much as what Ah do. And Ah reckon the same is true for everypony,” finished Apple Bloom.

Diamond Tiara’s expression was unreadable for a moment, but then she just scoffed.

“Oh, yeah. It’s only that simple. I’ll just get over my problems and start doing whatever I want. Because I totally get to choose my destiny,” said Diamond Tiara.

“Yeah, that’s right. You do get to choose,” said Sweetie Belle as she stepped forward.

Apple Bloom backed away. Now Sweetie Belle was looking Diamond Tiara right in the eyes.

“You know the reason I’m a robot. If I wasn’t, I’d be dead. It’s not fair that I was born with such a horrible condition, but life isn’t exactly fair. And if somepony far in the future hadn’t decided that I need to live for the good of Equestria, I wouldn’t be here right now. And while I definitely prefer being alive, it ultimately wasn’t my choice,” said Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle tapped her chest, causing a loud metallic sound.

“But the funny thing is, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. Why am I so important? What was worth changing history for? Is it inevitable, or do I have to make the right choices? It can be really scary to think about, and I didn’t get to choose whether I wanted this responsibility or not,” said Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle looked at Diamond Tiara with an expression of unwavering resolve.

“As best I can understand it, the future isn’t always set in stone. You didn’t get to choose your parents. You didn't get to choose what happened to you growing up. But you do get to choose what happens next. Do you want to just be a living trophy, or do you want to try being something else? You can decide for yourself what sort of future you want to make,” finished Sweetie Belle.

Diamond Tiara seemed to consider Sweetie Belle’s words for a moment, but then the anger returned once more.

“Pah. That’s easy for you to say. You don’t have a cutie mark,” said Diamond Tiara.

“So what?” replied Scootaloo.

The room was suddenly silent, as the air grew heavy. It was as if the universe itself were gasping in shock at Scootaloo’s words. A member of the CMC saying cutie marks didn’t matter? It was a miracle that the universe didn’t shatter at this blatant break from the natural order!

Or maybe that was just an outsider’s view of the situation. The universe itself probably didn’t care about the opinion of a small bug horse.

“So what if you have a cutie mark? That doesn’t mean it’s going to define your life. Do you know how many ponies have cutie marks that are only distantly related to their jobs or interests? Or have cutie marks that they never really use? Or how about those unlucky few who find themselves suffering a mid-life crisis and find themselves hating the symbol on their flanks?” asked Scootaloo.

Diamond Tiara didn’t have a response to that.

“I’m a changeling. I have always been a changeling. And changelings don’t get cutie marks. But that doesn’t mean we can’t find where our talents lie. And even if you don’t want to listen to us when we say that your mark doesn’t mean you have to step in line with what your mom wants, you have to at least admit that there’s nothing stopping you from finding some other skill,” said Scootaloo.

Silver Spoon facehooved. Why had she never considered that angle when trying to cheer Diamond up?

“So why don’t you stop lying there and make something of yourself? Forget your mark and set out to trot your own path? You won’t know where your talents lie until you get out there and try to find them. And most importantly, you don’t need your horrible mom’s permission to try something new,” said Scootaloo.

Diamond Tiara looked at them, her face frozen.

“But… But…” she stuttered.

Silver Spoon saw the doubt in her friend’s mind. This was it. This could finally get Diamond Tiara out of her rut. She just needed one more little push.

“Diamond Tiara, do you remember when you got your cutie mark? It wasn’t because you were listening to your mom. You got it because you were getting the class organized and motivated to help set up the Summer Sun Celebration. Your talent isn’t falling in line and doing what you're told. I think your talent is actually being a leader or something. Please… stop thinking that you're worthless. You’re not,” finished Silver Spoon.

“I… I…” mumbled Diamond Tiara.

Diamond Tiara’s gaze jumped between them all. Her expression shifted from disbelief, to anger, to fear, to frustration, to countless other emotions as her thoughts ran one way then another. Then at last, she seemed to have reached an answer.

“I… I’m… I’m not…” she stuttered.

She put her hooves to her eyes and started crying again. But this time, it wasn’t sobs of despair.

Without a word, Silver Spoon climbed onto the bed and pulled Diamond Tiara into a hug. After a moment of hesitation, the CMC joined them. They would remain like this for some time, the five of them gathered in a tight group as Diamond Tiara cried.

“I’m not… I’m not… worthless...” Diamond Tiara continued to mumble.

While the details were not released to the public, word of the resolution of the Rich family's situation quickly spread through the town. Filthy Rich had not opted for a divorce for reasons he refused to comment on, but it was clear that a sharp wedge had been made between him and Spoiled Rich. Well, that was if there had been any chemistry between them in the first place. Time would tell how long their marriage would continue.

The town officials had also not made any arrests for child abuse, as there was no evidence that Spoiled Rich had done anything worse than use harsh words and blatant disapproval against her daughter. She’d picked her weapons of destruction wisely. However, they did walk out of the mansion with a signed restraining order. Spoiled Rich would have no further influence on her child’s life.

Filthy Rich, while facing no such restrictions, had asked for Silver Spoon’s family to continue to care for Diamond Tiara. Evidently, he was all too aware that he was hardly fit be a father, let alone a single parent. There was some debate among the town gossips about what role he planned to play in the daughters’ future, but nothing conclusive was reached.

There was also one more consequence of the incident, though it wasn’t directly connected to Diamond Tiara’s parents. All too soon, the CMC found themselves once more at the train station, saying goodbye. Though this time, it was for the last ponies any of them expected.

“So you’re both leaving?” asked Scootaloo.

Silver Spoon nodded. Diamond Tiara remained silent, her gaze locked onto the floor. Whether she was doing it to avoid looking at the CMC or just lost in thought was anypony’s guess.

“Yeah. After all that’s happened, my parents think it would be best for us to leave town and get Diamond away from her family for awhile. I’m not sure how long we’ll be gone, but it’ll probably do us both some good. And besides, it’s been ages since I last got to spend some time with my uncle and aunt Gold and Silver Ore,” said Silver Spoon.

“The Ores? I’ve heard about them. They’re one of the best mining families in Equestria,” noted Sweetie Belle.

“Well, yeah. My parents are silversmiths. Even if we weren’t related, my family needs to have good relationships with miners. I didn’t get my cutie mark by polishing spoons, you know,” said Silver Spoon with an eye roll.

The CMC giggled. It was kind of fun being on good terms with rich ponies for a change. Well, good terms with one rich pony and “awkward but kind of willing to talk” with another.

“Well, Ah’m sure it’ll work out. And maybe Diamond will find her life’s calling in gem finding or something. She does have diamonds on her flank, after all,” said Apple Bloom.

“Hey, that’s my sister’s thing,” argued Sweetie Belle.

“Doesn’t mean other ponies can’t have the same thing,” countered Scootaloo.

Diamond Tiara sighed, but it almost looked like a ghost of a smile graced her face.

The train whistle blew.

“That’s our cue. See you girls later. Thanks again for the help,” said Silver Spoon as she turned and got on the train.

Diamond Tiara followed after her, but then she paused and turned back towards the CMC.

“I… yeah… thanks…” she mumbled before entering the train herself.

Despite her half-hearted words, her expression said a great deal of unspoken gratitude. She clearly had a long way to go, but at least now she was taking that crucial first step forward.

A moment later, the train pulled out of the station.

“Well, that was certainly somethin’,” said Apple Bloom.

“Yeah. If you had told me just a few days ago that we’d be helping Diamond Tiara of all ponies with her cutie mark, I’d have laughed at your face,” said Scootaloo.

“But we did. And I don’t know about you girls, but I feel like we’ve really accomplished something this time,” said Sweetie Belle.

The others nodded.

“Yep. It sure felt great to help somepony like that,” said Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo looked back towards her flank.

“Yeah. It sure did,” she mumbled.

She was starting to get an idea...

Author's Note

Sigh... I could have thought this arc out a little better ahead of time. I had to cut a lot of what I was originally planning to have because I realized most of it was far too dark and heavy for this story. Child neglect is not something I want to address lightly, but to give it the attention it deserves is a bit much for a slice of life comedy, especially this close to the end. As such, there is a lot of glossing over here, and I'm not happy with it.

I might write a one-shot about Filthy and Spoiled Rich's conversation and motives, though. I know I wouldn't be the first to write such a thing, but I have put a fair amount of thought into it.

Speaking of the Rich family, am I really the first to over-analyze Filthy Rich's insistence on being called Filthy to be distinguished from his father? There has got to be some story there...

Also, has Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon made so much as a background appearance since season 5?

Well, at any rate, we're in the home stretch now. Just one more chapter plus the epilogue.

Chapter 20: Mandatory Party Ending

It had started as a seemingly normal day… for about two minutes. It only took until Apple Bloom entered the kitchen that fateful morning to figure out that something unusual was happening. Breakfast was nowhere to be seen, and Big Mac was staring out the window.

“What’s goin’ on?” asked Apple Bloom.

She followed his gaze out the window, and started staring as well.

“Big Mac?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Eyup?” replied Big Mac.

“Is that… Pinkie Pie? Tryin’ to buck apples?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Eyup,” replied Big Mac.

“And… is that Applejack’s cutie mark on her flank?!” asked Apple Bloom in disbelief.

“Eyup,” replied Big Mac.

…

“Welp, Ah guess it’s gonna be one of those kind of Saturdays. Ya know what? Ah think me and the girls are gonna hang out somewhere other than the clubhouse today,” said Apple Bloom.

“Eyup,” replied Big Mac.

It indeed seemed like a good day to be off the farm. In fact, as soon as Apple Bloom was out the door, Big Mac picked up Granny Smith (still in her rocking chair) and headed out himself.

This was probably just another magical mishap of some kind. It’d be taken care of soon enough, and everything would go back to normal.

At least twenty-two minutes (but more realistically around two weeks) later…

The coronation of the newly crowned Princess Twilight Sparkle was a large, grand event. Ponies from all over Equestria had come to attend this momentous occasion. Crystal ponies from the Crystal Empire, Cowponies from Appleloosa, and almost the entire population of Ponyville had joined the crowd.

The post-coronation party, on the other hoof, was a much more personal affair.

“I must insist that you let me in at once! Do you not know who I am?!” demanded Prince Blueblood.

The royal guards watching the door to the party-filled hall just rolled their eyes. The prince had been yelling at them for almost an hour now, but the answer was still no.

Only the friends and family of the new Princess were permitted to attend, with a few Ponyville residents and other notable exceptions. This was partially because Princess Celestia had not wanted Twilight to be swarmed with political maneuvering so soon, but also because Pinkie Pie had adamantly refused to host anything remotely similar to the Grand Galloping Gala.

The bets were still out on which was the more influential reason.

Either way, the result was a celebration full of ponies near and dear to Twilight and her friends, and no political parasites to ruin the party. And what a party it was.

“Twilight is a Prin-cess! Twilight is a Prin-cess! Twilight is a Prin-cess!” cheered Pinkie Pie as she lead a conga line.

The conga line was almost forty ponies long, and even Princess Cadance and Princess Celestia had joined in with wild smiles on their faces. Needless to say, more than a few ponies had stopped to stare at the sight of the Princess of the Sun not only dancing in such a manner, but doing so far from the front of the line.

“Twilight is a Prin-cess! Twilight is a Prin-cess! Twilight is best Prin-cess!” cheered Pinkie Pie.

“Excuse me? What was that last bit?” asked Princess Cadance with a smile.

Pinkie turned to look at the Princess of Love, who happened to be second in line, without stopping the conga.

“Well, OK, so she’s kind of stirring up too much controversy at this point for anyone to say that, but it’s only a matter of time before she has a bunch of devoted followers!” said Pinkie.

Cadance had no idea what Pinkie meant by controversy, but she just giggled and dismissed the matter with a shake of her head.

Of course, there was more going on at the party than dancing. There was also plenty of food, a dozen party games (including pin the wings on the purple pony), and even a bouncy castle that Pinkie Pie had somehow managed to set up in the middle of the hall in a matter of seconds.

And yet, despite all the fun and exciting things to do, the CMC weren’t partying. Not yet, at least. There was something standing in their way. Well, not so much something as somepony.

“Ugh… I hate this stupid thing. It’s just too dang frilly. Is Rarity back with that camera yet? I wanna dance!” complained Scootaloo as she shuffled around in her pink dress.

Apple Bloom, whose own dress included her enchanted bow, nodded in agreement.

“Ah hear ya. Ya’d think clothes that look this nice would feel nice to wear. But instead it feels like Ah’m stuck in a straitjacket covered in glitter,” added Apple Bloom as she picked at her dress sleeve.

Sweetie Belle sighed as she looked longingly at the catering table.

“I actually like my dress, but I really wish Rarity had remembered to take the photos earlier. I’m starving, but she said she’d kill me if I got stains on this thing,” said Sweetie Belle with a sad pout.

Scootaloo looked at Sweetie Belle with a raised eyebrow.

“Didn’t you find something about a ‘repulsion field’ in your manual the other day?” she asked.

“Yes, but using it would just make me even hungrier. You know what my gadgets do to my appetite. And besides, I don’t know what it does to clothes. If I outright tear up my dress, Rarity won’t just kill me. She’ll kill me, resurrect me with dark magic, then kill me again,” answered Sweetie Belle.

“Hey, Ah’m the ghoul here. Don’t ya go stealin’ mah thing,” said Apple Bloom with a smirk.

“So your curse is your ‘thing’ now?” asked Scootaloo with a smirk of her own.

“Well… Kind of. Ah am the only undead in Ponyville. And a pony can have more than one thing,” said Apple Bloom with a roll of her eyes.

“Yeah, Scootaloo. Apple Bloom’s things include apples, being undead, apples, complaining about needing a new name for our club, apples, and above all the rest, more apples,” said Sweetie Belle with a ‘sincere’ smile.

“Apples are mah sister’s thing,” replied Apple Bloom with a deadpan look.

A moment later, the three of them broke out into giggles.

Finally, Rarity returned with the camera.

“Sorry for the wait, girls. Now, why don’t we start with some straightforward smiles from the three of you?” suggested Rarity.

After what many would consider an excessive number of photos, the CMC were finally able to change into clothes that, while still fancy, didn’t get in the way of their partying. And party they did.

Shake it, Scoots! Shake it! cried Goose over the hivemind.

Wow, Scootaloo. That’s almost coordinated enough to be called dancing, mocked Twitch.

I don’t care what you think, Twitch. I’m too busy having fun, replied Scootaloo as she and Rainbow Dash tore up the dance floor together.

Shame we weren’t invited. That party looks like fun, said Beatle.

Eh, it can’t be that good. Where’s the bowl of cockroaches? asked Lynx.

Ponies don’t eat cockroaches, Lynx. And neither do most changelings for that matter, replied Uno.

I don’t eat them. I just like the crunch, replied Lynx.

Every other changeling in the clutch shivered.

Meanwhile, Sweetie Belle was happily chowing down, much to her sister’s displeasure.

“Sweetie Belle, if you eat any more cake you’re going to ruin your figure!” objected Rarity.

Sweetie Belle paused, swallowed, and gave her sister an annoyed look.

“Rarity? Do you really think I can even get fat with a robotic digestive system?” argued Sweetie Belle.

“... well, I suppose not, but watching you gorge yourself like that is giving me cravings. Please, Sweetie Belle? Can you control yourself and spare your dear sister the stress?” asked Rarity.

“Four words Rarity: Comfort Ice Cream Tubs,” countered Sweetie Belle.

“Sweetie Belle, you know perfectly well that I use enchanted low-fat ice cream tubs. Now please start acting like the young lady you are and stop eating like a pig,” replied Rarity with an eye roll.

Sweetie Belle sighed, but slowed down her cake guzzling.

And finally, Apple Bloom was enjoying herself on the bouncy castle. Or at least, she did for a few minutes until she spotted one of the Princesses talking with ponies in a corner. She quickly realized that her moment had come.

She’d been wanting to have a certain chat with that certain Princess about a certain dream she had about a certain pony who did a certain thing a certain party was celebrating.

“Are ya sure this ain’t a sign that Ah can see the future?” asked Apple Bloom.

Princess Luna shook her head.

“Not at all. I promise you that your dream was only the result of your subconscious. It was not the result of some magic resonance, temporal disturbance, or anything else that could have granted you such a vision of events yet to occur,” explained Luna.

“Then why the hay did mah subconscious think Twilight was going to become a Princess?” demanded Apple Bloom.

Princess Luna smiled.

“I cannot say for certain, but I suspect that, like many others, you were able to see the potential within Princess Twilight Sparkle long before her transformation,” said Luna.

“Say what now?!” cried Apple Bloom in surprise.

“Indeed. But is it truly so surprising? My sister does not choose her students on whims. Princess Twilight certainly had the potential to ascend, though I must confess I thought she was far from ready myself,” replied Luna.

“But Ah didn’t even know normal ponies could become alicorns,” objected Apple Bloom.

“No? Then what of Princess Cadenza?” asked Luna.

That gave Apple Bloom pause.

“Well… Ah just figured she was born an alicorn, like you and Princess Celestia, and just… didn’t feel like showin’ off, or somethin’,” said Apple Bloom.

Luna let out a small laugh.

“Oh no. That is not the case at all. Neither Cadenza, my sister, nor myself were born alicorns. And while my sister and I were very likely to ascend due to our heritage, we were far from the first to do so. In fact, there have been several such ascensions through ponykind’s history,” replied Luna.

“Really?” asked Apple Bloom in amazement.

“Indeed. It was a gift from our mother that everypony should have the potential to ascend, in theory at least. The journey to become an alicorn requires far more than what most ponies are willing to put forward, or in many cases are even capable of. Even so, it saddens me to learn that there has been only one such event during my banishment,” said Luna with a sigh.

Apple Bloom tilted her head at that. She wasn’t sure how to feel about this, but it put her own condition into an interesting perspective. Maybe… she wouldn’t be the only one still around in the distant future?

Nah. Ah shouldn’t get mah hopes up like that. She just said how rare this sort of thing is, Apple Bloom thought with a shake of her head.

It was still a neat idea to think about, though.

“So… if anypony can become an alicorn if they do somethin’ special, then Twilight ascended because she did somethin’ super big and important? Ah thought she just finished some spell?” asked Apple Bloom.

Luna shook her head, but gave Apple Bloom a gentle smile.

“She did not just finish a spell, young Apple Bloom. She finished a spell that enables one to change a pony’s destiny and even affect another pony’s cutie mark. Such magic has been unfathomable for millenia. Not even Star Swirl himself understood the forces of magic well enough to finish it,” said Luna.

Apple Bloom put a hoof to her muzzle in thought, then nodded.

“Ah think Ah get it. It wasn’t just the spell itself. That was just the thing that sealed the deal. She became an alicorn because she understood magic enough to finish it. Well, the magic of friendship at least, right?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Precisely: the most powerful magic of all,” said Luna with a smile.

Apple Bloom smiled as well, until a concerning thought occurred to her.

“So… what exactly happened to the spell? Ah mean, magic that can change another pony’s destiny doesn't sound like somethin’ ya’d want to leave lyin’ around,” said Apple Bloom.

“Oh, we are fully aware of the dangerous potential that spell possesses, though it would take an exceptional amount of magical skill to use it. We quickly secured it in the royal archives. Rest assured, there will be no further cutie-mark related magic being cast,” reassured Luna.

Apple Bloom let out a sigh of relief. And really, what were the chances that somepony had seen the spell before it was sealed away, actually had the magic talent to cast it, and wanted to use it for something as dumb as trying to take over the world? The success rate of such endeavors was atrocious. By this point, you’d have to have an ego bigger than Rainbow Dash to think you could buck the trend.

The party continued, even as the sun began to sink towards the horizon. Pinkie had moved on from the conga line to setting up several pinatas. Some ponies would argue that Pinkie didn’t need to participate in every pinata smash she’d hung up that evening. Everypony else would point out that it’d take some world-ending disaster to get between the pink pony and her candy.

“A little to the left… now the right… OK! Swing!” cheered Pinkie.

Applejack swung the bat, breaking the cardboard llama in half in a single blow. The small crowd cheered and descended on the sugar like a horde of undead upon a helpless victim.

A rather fitting analogy considering that there was, in fact, one undead among them.

“Hey, Pinkie? Is there any reason yer usin’ these yellow llama pinatas?” asked Apple Bloom as she popped some chocolate into her mouth.

“Yeah. Now that you mention it, they don’t really match the rest of the party,” added Scootaloo.

“Eh, not really. I didn’t want to fan the flame war by letting ponies beat up a Twilight pinata, so I just pulled some old ones out of my closet I’ve been holding onto. I only got them because they were on sale, and I figured they were cooler than those brown cows or green longmas,” replied Pinkie as she tossed a hoofful of sweets into her mouth.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo felt strangely offended by that comment for some reason.

Meanwhile, Apple Bloom wasn’t the only one to have a little chat with one of the Princesses. Shortly after Princess Celestia broke off from the conga line, Sweetie Belle stepped forward to ask her something.

After cleaning all the cake off her face, of course.

“So… you mention in your letter that you knew T.I.M.E. was involved from the start?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Celestia glanced around to make sure they weren’t being overhead, but then nodded.

“Well, I really only had my suspicions, but yes. I am all too aware of how Equestria is too technologically limited right now for something as amazing as a functioning robot to exist. But alas, even if I believed time travel was involved, I could not tell you as much due to possible spoilers,” said Princess Celestia.

Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow.

“Really? A thousand or so years before T.I.M.E. even exists, you of all ponies need to worry about spoilers?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Celestia gave the filly a knowing grin.

“Tell me, Sweetie Belle, do you know the finer details of post-modern temporal exploration theory?” asked Celestia.

Sweetie Belle sighed in reply.

“I get it. Time travel is complicated and dangerous. Knowing too much could lead to the end of the world or something. But couldn’t you have given me a hint? Like, I don’t know, mention that you had some kind of ‘feeling’ that I wasn’t part of some conspiracy?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“You are part of a conspiracy, Sweetie Belle. It’s just that this particular one was intended to better the world instead of take it over,” replied Celestia with a giggle.

Sweetie Belle had to admit the Princess had a point there.

“Alright, I guess that’s true. I really would have appreciated some help, though,” mumbled Sweetie Belle.

Princess Celestia gave a small sigh.

“I know my off-hoof approach can be tiring at times, but I’ve learned the hard way that simply shoving solutions into the hooves of ponies tends to cause more problems than it solves. While it can be difficult at times to recognize when I am needed more directly, you are correct in that I might have at least done more to alleviate your fears. For that, I am sorry,” apologized Celestia.

Sweetie Belle blinked as she realized that the Princess of the Sun was apologizing to her. This was kind of awkward.

“Oh, well… uh… I accept your apology, I guess?” Sweetie Belle replied nervously.

Princess Celestia chuckled, but offered a sincere smile all the same.

“Thank you, Sweetie Belle. But was that all you wanted to ask me? You seem to be troubled by something else,” said Princess Celestia.

Sweetie Belle let out a small sigh.

“Well, I was just kind of hoping you’d be able to give me a hint about the future, but I guess if you’re following the whole spoiler thing then I already know what you’re going to say. Still, it’d be nice if I knew what I had to do that was worth rewriting history for,” admitted Sweetie Belle.

Princess Celestia’s smile grew a little sad. She reached out and wrapped a wing around the young filly.

“The future can be scary, especially when you believe you’re destined for something great and important. I know how that feels all too well. Such was my own burden when I got my cutie mark. Do you happen to know that story?” asked Princess Celestia.

Sweetie Belle paused to think for a moment.

“I… think so. That was the first time you raised the sun, right?” answered Sweetie Belle.

“Actually, no. There were well over eight hundred years between when I got my mark and when I first raised the sun,” replied Celestia with a gentle smile.

“Really?!” exclaimed Sweetie Belle in shock.

“Oh, yes. You see, as the biological daughters of the Queen, my sister and I were blessed with longevity, though this came at the cost of us aging rather slowly. I don’t believe either of us were out of diapers until we were over a hundred years old, though I seem to recall Luna needed an extra decade or two,” said Celestia with a giggle.

Sweetie Belle’s artificial brain suffered a small glitch before deciding that this particular bit of information would be better off being deleted from her memory banks later. Yep, memory deletion was definitely one of the best parts of being a robot.

“At any rate, while I received my mark when I was physically the appropriate age, I didn’t realize what it meant until I was a young adult. And during that time, I was terrified by it. I was the elder daughter of the Queen. It was apparent that I was destined to play some critical role, but what could it be? Would I even be able to do it? Would I doom the world if I never figured it out in time? The weight of that unknown responsibility tore at my very being for centuries,” replied Princess Celestia.

Something about that sounded off to Sweetie Belle.

“But your cutie mark is the sun. You never tried to move the sun for eight hundred years?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Princess Celestia let out another sigh, this one sounding rather sad.

“After our mother departed from this world, my sister and I were mostly raised by the salvaris tribe: the now sadly extinct gem ponies. By the time we were old enough to learn about the other tribes, the political situation in the world was… rather hostile. Our caretakers decided to omit certain details from our education out of spite, such as the fact that ponies were responsible for moving the sun and moon. And when we finally acquired our marks…”

Princess Celestia paused, lost in memories, before shaking her head with a small frown.

“Well, I suppose that’s a story for another time. Those were… unpleasant days in pony history. The point I am trying to make here is that I am fully aware of what you are experiencing right now, Sweetie Belle. I have a little advice for you if you’d care to hear it,” said Princess Celestia.

Sweetie Belle, still reeling a little from the sudden and slightly disturbing history lesson, took a moment before nodding.

“Don’t let yourself be consumed by worry. You are still just a filly, Sweetie Belle. I cannot say I know why your life was worth changing history to save, but I doubt T.I.M.E. would go through the trouble of saving you just to leave you to fail. When the time comes, it will come, and I am certain that not only will you be able to recognize it, you will be ready for it,” said Princess Celestia with a gentle smile.

Sweetie Belle smiled back, feeling a little bit better about herself. In fact, the Princess’s story was giving her an idea...

As the sun creeped below the horizon, the party continued. With the pinatas smashed, Pinkie went on to join the party games. “Pin the wings on the purple unicorn” was proving to be a hit, even if the newly crowned Princess seemed rather embarrassed by it.

“It’s not that I don’t see where you’re coming from, Pinkie, (or that I’m questioning how you made that thing without me noticing), but why didn’t you just use a classic pin the tail on the pony game?” asked Twilight.

“Eh, I’ve had this thing on the wayside for years, just waiting for the perfect opportunity to pull it out. I was so disappointed when I learned I missed the chance to play ‘pin the horn on the pink pegasus’ all those years ago,” answered Pinkie Pie.

Twilight was about to open her mouth and point out that such an opportunity was unlikely due to Cadance’s ascension being before the Sonic Rainboom, but then she remembered who she was talking to and accepted that she was probably better off not knowing.

While Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle had joined in with the wing pinning, Scootaloo was catching her breath after another round on the dance floor.

“Whew… I could use a drink,” mumbled Scootaloo as she made her way to the punch bowl.

You’re a bit too young to be drinking, Scoots, said Uno with a chuckle.

Scootaloo didn’t even dignify that comment with a reply.

As she poured herself a cup, however, she spotted a familiar looking face nearby chatting with Spike. A certain bright-green adult changeling. Eager to talk with him again, Scootaloo quickly trotted towards them, picking up the tail end of their conversation.

“... let me tell you. I mean, how am I supposed to know what it means to be a dragon? It has to be more than just ‘be greedy and get big,’ right?” said Spike.

“Yeah. It’s still kind of hard to believe that we spent years being raised by a criminal. I keep learning about things that all the other changelings just assume I know about because I’m a changeling too. They’ve been really supportive and helpful, and fill me in whenever I miss something, but I still feel like a bit of an outcast at times,” admitted Thorax.

“Well, here’s to guys who are kind of outcasts, but still happy parts of the community with lots of friends,” said Spike as he raised his cup.

The two tapped their cups together and drank. Scootaloo, meanwhile, felt rather awkward. That sounded like some sort of personal conversation she had just overheard, not to mention a somewhat troubling one.

Don’t worry, Scootaloo. We are perfectly aware of how Thorax is still having some difficulties. Rest assured, we are doing everything we can to help him adapt, said Blue Monarch.

Glad to hear that, mom, replied Scootaloo.

“Anyway, I should probably check on Twilight and make sure she’s not having another panic attack worrying about the future. You take care of yourself, Thorax. And remember to ask the Princess about that dragon fire spell. It’d be nice to have a pen pal again,” said Spike.

“I will, don’t worry. See you later, Spike,” said Thorax as he waved goodbye.

As Spike walked away, Scootaloo stepped forward.

“So, how’s life in Canterlot treating you, Thorax?” asked Scootaloo.

Thorax gave a small jump in surprise, but then smiled.

“Oh, hey, Scootaloo. It’s been fine, though kind of tiring. There’s just been so much to do. Educating ponies on Changeling society, coordinating hunting parties to track down rogue ghouls, and I don’t think years in a classroom could have prepared me for dealing with the Canterlot nobility,” said Thorax.

“They’re even worse than you imagined?” asked Scootaloo in disbelief.

Thorax shivered.

“Do yourself a favor, Scootaloo: never get into politics. It’s just as horrifying to be a part of as it is to watch from the sidelines,” said Thorax with a shake of his head.

Scootaloo winced, and decided to change the topic before she learned any gruesome details.

“I see. So… uh... I heard your connection was cut after you got here. How you holding up without a hive mind?” asked Scootaloo.

Thorax blinked in surprise.

“Uh… any particular reason you’re asking that?” asked Thorax.

Scootaloo shrugged.

“I’m just curious. As annoying as the hive mind can be at times, I honestly can’t imagine what it’s like without one. Even when I went to the future I could still feel the hive mind, even if it was just whispers and apologies,” answered Scootaloo.

Thorax rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“Well… the important thing to keep in mind is that Chrysalis… didn’t really approve of anyone using the hive mind when it wasn’t talking to her directly. She claimed it was ‘distracting,’ and mostly used it herself to… well, let’s just say that I’ve been finding the lack of voices in my head to be kind of nice. Not quite as nice as being in a healthy hive mind of course, but still nice. Sorry, but I don’t think I can really answer your question,” said Thorax.

Scootaloo sighed.

“Ah well, it’s not really important anyways. And I guess you have more important things to worry about then that,” said Scootaloo.

“Yeah…” said Thorax as he nervously rubbed his legs together.

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow.

“Are you sure you’re alright, Thorax? You’re not getting too much trouble for being a changeling or something like that, are you?” said Scootaloo.

Thorax’s gaze shuffled around a bit, but then he let out a sigh.

“It could be a little better. This is Canterlot, after all. This was the only city my old hive actually invaded. A lot of ponies are still scared of us, many are still angry, and a few are still convinced that we’re just faking it all so that our next invasion attempt actually succeeds,” admitted Thorax.

Scootaloo nodded and let out a sigh of her own.

“Yeah. Chrysalis really made a mess of things. There’s still a few ponies in Ponyville who think the same thing. Still, most of them don’t. And two of the ones who did… well, I guess they never outright said that they’re OK with changelings now, but they didn’t say anything about it when we helped them out,” admitted Scootaloo as she rubbed the back of her neck nervously.

“Well, every bit helps, I guess. We have a long way to go before we’re truly accepted among ponies. I just hope I’m up to the job,” said Thorax.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes.

“Hey, what did me and the girls teach you about beating yourself up?” she demanded.

Thorax blushed a bit.

“To not to…” mumbled Thorax with an embarrassed look on his face.

“Exactly. And even if you do mess up a little, you’ve got plenty of other changelings working with you to watch your back. You’ve been doing fine so far, Thorax. I have no doubt you’ll keep it up,” said Scootaloo with a reassuring smile.

Thorax returned it with an awkward smile of his own.

The party continued late into the night. And as much fun as they were having, it was starting to get well past the CMC’s bedtimes and exhaustion was beginning to settle in. Not that they'd tell their sisters this. They had no intention of being able to walk to their own beds that night.

Still, after bumping into each other again, they decided to take a quiet moment together to regain a little energy. Soon Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo found themselves on a balcony, stargazing.

“Whew. I think I’m starting to understand why adults like parties where you do nothing but talk. It can be really fun to just hang out with familiar faces and catch up,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Speak for yourself, Sweetie Belle. I for one still can’t imagine a party without proper dance music,” said Scootaloo.

“I said I’m starting to understand, not that I like talking more. I can’t imagine a party without cake, either,” replied Sweetie Belle.

“Ah still can’t believe ya ate that whole thing and didn’t paint the floor with your stomach,” mumbled Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle gave an awkward cough as she started blushing. She’d realized too late that she was probably never going to live down eating that huge dessert, weird robot digestion or not.

“Yeah, well... you’re probably the only other pony here that could have eaten it too. Course, your gut would probably have exploded, but you’d be able to walk it off,” replied Sweetie Belle,

“Nah. Ah can think of at least two other ponies here who could,” replied Apple Bloom with an eye roll.

“Yeah? Who?” asked Scootaloo.

“Here’s a hint: One’s pink, and the other’s white,” replied Apple Bloom with a smirk.

Giggles were had by all present, then a comfortable silence.

Some time passed, as they gazed up at the stars, lost in thought. So much had changed in the last few weeks, and yet, so much was still the same. After all the near kidnappings, time travel, and other world changing events, the three of them were still together, and still the best of friends.

It kind of gave Apple Bloom an idea. An idea that, if she was being honest with herself, had been a long time coming.

“Say, girls?” started Apple Bloom.

“Yeah?” asked Scootaloo.

“Ah just had a thought. About the club name…” started Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle groaned.

“Not again, Apple Bloom,” moaned Sweetie Belle.

“Now just hear me out! Ah know Ah’ve been a might pushy about it, but this is important,” said Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo let out a sigh.

“Fine. What do you have in mind this time?” she asked with some reluctance.

“Maybe… we should just stay the Cutie Mark Crusaders?” suggested Applebloom.

The balcony was silent aside from the crickets.

“Really? After spending months trying to come up with a new name, you’re just giving up?!” demanded Sweetie Belle.

“Ah’m not givin’ up! Ah just…” Apple Bloom paused to sigh.

“Ya know what? Yeah, Ah am givin’ up. But it ain’t becasue Ah’m throwin’ in the towel. Ah just realized that maybe we don’t need to change our name. Ah mean, we shared our secrets with everypony in town, but almost nothin’ changed. And if that ain’t gonna change much, I’m just wonderin’ if maybe there’s even a need for us to change the name in the first place,” admitted Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo shared an awkward look before smiling.

“Actually, I was kind of planning on suggesting the same thing,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah, same here. After we helped Diamond Tiara I…” Scootaloo’s voice trailed off.

Her friends looked at her, curious.

“You what?” asked Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo let out a sigh.

“Well… ok, this might sound a little stupid but, maybe we could try and help others with their cutie marks? I mean, despite the fact that none of us have cutie marks and never will, we seem to really get how they work. What they really mean to ponies and… oh forget it. It is a stupid idea,” admitted Scootaloo with a blush.

Apple Bloom thought back on what it had been like helping Diamond Tiara, then shook her head.

“That doesn’t sound that stupid, Scootaloo. Hay, it’d probably be worth a shot at least. Ah’d certainly be willin’ to try it. It’s just… well, are there really ponies like that? Ponies who already got their cutie marks and don’t know what to make of ‘em? Ah’m pretty sure Diamond Tiara was a special case,” said Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle remembered Princess Celestia’s story, and it gave her an answer.

“Actually, I think there might be more ponies like that. There’s probably not too many of them, but I bet they’re out there. I don’t think we could focus on finding problems like that all the time, but maybe we can keep an eye out for when that sort of thing happens?” suggested Sweetie Belle.

And they might appreciate having somepony to help them find out what their cutie mark means before eight hundred years pass, thought Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo shared a look, then nodded together.

“Sounds good to me. I say we give it a try,” said Scootaloo.

“OK then. We’ll just keep our eyes and ears open and see if there’s anypony with a… uh… cutie mark problem, and we’ll see if we can help them out. We are still, and possibly forevermore, the Cutie Mark Crusaders!” declared Apple Bloom.

“Yeah!” The three of them cheered as they raised their hooves together.

There was no magic spark, no blinding light, and no indication that this was their destiny. After all, none of them would ever get cutie marks. And yet, as they made this life-changing decision, the three of them couldn't help but feel like something special had just happened in their very souls.

And maybe, just maybe, something had.

“Plus it means we don’t have to spend more time tryin’ to come up with a new club name. Thank Celestia for that. Ya’d think after all these months we’d have had at least one good idea,” added Apple Bloom.

“Apple Bloom…” groaned Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.

Author's Note

Whew... finally got it done. It took way too long for me to write this. Still, it was a valuable learning experience, as I've never gotten far enough to write falling action before. Anyway, just the epilogue left. Hopefully, this will end on a high note.

And so this story wraps up along with season three. Wow. Season three. We're in season eight now. There is so much material I could use to expand this story... But I'll worry about that later. I have several ideas on where to go with this AU next, but I'll go into detail after I'm finished here.

Also... Ha ha! The story summary was a lie! They didn't need to change the club name! You were all fools for beliveing it!

...

Except no one seemed to care about that detail other than the friendship is witchcraft references. Sigh...

Epilogue: Sleepover!

Dear Apple Bloom,

It’s us: Bear Bone and Kamikazi (though mostly just Bear Bone. Kazi’s a little occupied as I write this).

This is just a small letter to let you know we heard about the incident with those class C ghouls, and we’re happy to hear that you, to quote Kazi: “Chugged that loser’s tears like cider.” I have no idea where she comes up with these expressions, but I fear she’d tear open the envelope and add it herself if I didn’t include it.

And while we’ve already said as much before, I believe it bears repeating: as fellow beings of dark magic, we’re willing to offer any advice, possible contacts, or any other form of support we can give you. I can’t say I know what your future holds, but we will both be more than happy to help.

I wish you the best of luck moving forward, Apple Bloom.

-Bear Bone & Kamikazi

P.S: You’re darn right I’d tear open the envelope, big guy. Also, next time I’m in the area, I’m giving you karate lessons, apple kid. Trust me, kicking out the bad ghoul’s teeth is almost as satisfying as outsmarting him, and I’d hate for you to miss out on such delight if you ever run into that loser again.

Apple Bloom giggled and shook her head as she put down the letter.

What a pony that Kamikazi was.

Scootaloo shivered as she arrived at the CMC clubhouse. There was a chill in the air that evening. With the Running of the Leaves only a few days off, there was no doubt about it: winter was coming.

Well, duh! These things are scheduled you know, commented Goose.

It was a reference, Goose. She was trying to be funny, replied Uno.

Trying, and failing. That phrase was old years ago, Scoots, added Lynx.

Scootaloo just rolled her eyes. How very typical of the Cloudsdale hive. You can’t even try to be funny without somepony calling you out on it.

Tell me about it, said Twitch.

We call you out because your idea of humor is far from what the rest of us consider reasonable, replied Beatle.

I fail to see how it’s my fault that...

Sensing a familiar argument brewing, Scootaloo tuned her family out and started up the stairs. Besides, it was kind of cold out. Winter was indeed coming, regardless of appropriate quotes from books she was technically too young to read. She once again silently blamed her uncle Martini for showing her that series, and entered the clubhouse.

Unsurprisingly, her friends were already inside. Apple Bloom was once again setting up the sleeping bags and Sweetie Belle was curled up on a bean bag reading her manual.

“Hey, Scoots. What took ya so long? It’s already gettin’ dark out,” chided Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle, meanwhile, glanced up from her bead bag to wave, then turned back towards her manual. Even after weeks of reading, there was still so much more to learn about her robotic body. It seemed that Sweetie Belle would continue to read that manual for quite some time.

“Sorry, Apple Bloom. Rumble stopped me on the way over. He wanted to practice some pick up lines,” replied Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow.

“Why the hay would a colt our age want to practice flirtin’? What, is he plannin’ on askin’ somepony out?” asked Apple Bloom in disbelief.

“He’s Thunderlane’s younger brother,” reminded Sweetie Belle without looking up.

“Oh yeah. Right,” replied Apple Bloom with a shake of her head.

Nothing else needed to be said.

“And for the record, I gave his performance a score of ‘you’re probably going to get dumped if you try that’ out of a possible ‘we’re too young for this.’ Seriously, he was trying way too hard,” said Scootaloo with a shake of her head.

“Sounds like a mighty useful ratin’ system there. Changeling approved?” asked Apple Bloom with a giggle.

“Changeling invented. You better believe we’ve got proper flirting down to an art form,” said Scootaloo as she flopped down on a bean bag herself.

There were some more giggles, then Apple Bloom joined her friends on the bean bags.

“So girls, we ready to get this sleepover started?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Well, yeah. It’s not like we have anywhere else to be,” said Sweetie Belle.

The cheery atmosphere was broken with some resigned sighs.

“I still can’t believe our sisters went to some fancy week-long festival at the Crystal Empire and didn’t bring us with them,” grumbled Scootaloo.

“Eh, they went with the other elements of harmony. It’ll probably end up bein’ crashed by some new ancient evil, and they’ll have to spend the rest of the week tryin’ to save the world again instead of havin’ fun,” said Apple Bloom with a shrug.

“That’s true, though I don’t know if it’ll be an ancient evil. My money’s on some kind of parallel dimension invading ours or something,” countered Sweetie Belle.

“Aliens for me. Babs guessed something like that would happen someday, and I see no reason to think she’s wrong,” added Scootaloo.

Upon realizing how serious her friends were, Apple Bloom couldn't say no to a chance for some extra pocket change.

“Alright then, it’s on. Two bits each sound fair?” suggested Apple Bloom.

“Hay yeah!” declared Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle put a hoof to her mouth in though for a moment.

“Well… Rarity would probably kill me if she found out I bet actual money… but she’s at the Crystal Empire right now. So, yeah, I’m all for it,” she decided.

The three ponies clopped their hooves together, sealing the deal. They didn’t spit on them first, though. There were some things they just weren’t willing to risk Rarity finding out about.

A few hours into the evening, they decided to take a small break. Not because they were tired, but because Apple Bloom needed to head out and grab her foreleg after it was sent flying out the window. Nopony was really sure how that had happened while they were playing cards. Sweetie Belle had taken the opportunity to continue reading her manual, and Scootaloo had taken the opportunity to pester her about it by reading over her shoulder.

“‘Momentum charged levitation field?’ What the hay is that?” asked Scootaloo.

“Well, give me a second to read it so I can find out,” chided Sweetie Belle with an annoyed glare.

“Right, sorry,” said Scootaloo as she rubbed the back of her neck.

“The momentum based levitation field is a self-charging arcanic matrix that transfers excess kinetic energy into a stable barrier that can serve as a…” read Sweetie Belle.

“Short version please,” interrupted Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle looked back at her friend with a huff.

“I’m not reading this for your understanding, you know,” she deadpanned.

“Yeah, but you don’t have to go full technobabble. I can break the whole thing down in one sentence: ‘It’s a spell that lets you run on water.’ Boom. Done,” replied Scootaloo with a roll of her eyes.

Sweetie Belle blinked in surprise.

“Wait, what? I can walk on water with this?!” she exclaimed.

“No, just run. The spell matrix only works if you keep moving, because it’s using your momentum to create a magic field underneath you. If you slow down, the spell gets weaker, and eventually you’ll just sink,” replied Scootaloo.

Still rather surprised, Sweetie Belle turned back to the manual, read a bit more, and realized that Scootaloo was right.

“And you know all this, how?” asked Sweetie Belle with a raised eyebrow.

Scootaloo gave Sweetie Belle a deadpan stare before dropping her disguise.

“This isn’t an ice cream cone coming out of my head, you know. I’ve had to sit though lessons on magic theory, too,” said Scootaloo while pointing at her horn.

Sweetie Belle blinked, but then sighed and shook her head.

“Yeah, that’s fair. Sorry, Scootaloo. Changeling or not, it’s still hard for me to imagine you having more than a vague understanding of magic,” admitted Sweetie Belle.

“You and the rest of my hive,” mumbled Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle blushed, then silently turned back to her manual.

They’d tried telling scary stories, but after Sweetie Belle’s less than terrifying “The Missing Stitch,” Apple Bloom’s rather disgusting “Pumpernickel Massacre,” and whatever the hay was Scootaloo’s “Bug Juice Jamboree,” they’d decided to just share what they’d been up to lately instead.

At least that way nopony’s brain needed to be rebooted again, literally or otherwise.

“... but no, it turns out he was talking about Ogres and Oubliettes,” finished Sweetie Belle.

Her friends looked at each other in surprise.

“Really? O&O?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Yeah. I didn’t know Button Mash played O&O,” added Scootaloo.

“I didn’t either, but apparently he does. Oh! That reminds me: he also asked if we’d be interested in joining him for a game sometime,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Huh. Well, I’m down for it. I’ll have you two know I’m quite the experienced player. My entire clutch trembles in fear at the mere mention of my pegasus ranger,” boasted Scootaloo with a dramatic pose.

Only because you put all your points in evasion and cheesed your way to victory, complained Lynx.

Hey, that was one time! And I was playing a thief then! objected Scootaloo.

Yeah, sure. “One time,” my flank… grumbled Lynx.

Scootaloo tuned out her grudge-holding sister and turned her attention back to her friends.

“Ah don’t know. Ah’ve never played a game before, and Ah don’t know how Ah feel about bein’ the noob,” Apple Bloom said nervously.

Sweetie Belle put a comforting hoof on her friend’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry, Apple Bloom. I’ve never played either. We can be noobs together. And besides, I’m sure Button will go easy on us for our first game,” reassured Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo giggled at that.

“Or maybe he’ll just go easy on you because you’re his fillyfriend,” she quipped.

Sweetie Belle let out a resigned sigh.

“For the last time, Scootaloo: Button Mash is not my coltfriend,” chided Sweetie Belle with an eye roll.

And yet, despite her blush, there wasn’t much anger in Sweetie Belle’s voice. Whether this was because she was lying through her teeth, or she was just getting used to Scootaloo's teasing was anyone’s guess.

Scootaloo was definitely guessing the former though, which made her giggle again.

Apple Bloom joined her in the giggling, and then had an idea.

“Still… now that Ah think about it, Ah probably should learn how to play. Ah mean, Ah’m already halfway to bein’ one of them dungeon masters. Might as well learn how to play the part,” said Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo shared an uncertain look.

“What are you talking about, Apple Bloom?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom smirked before pulling out her bow, revealing her undead body.

“Fools! Y’all dare enter mah domain?! Ah’ll smite ya lowly worms with dark spells beyond your worst nightmares!” cried Apple Bloom in as harsh a tone as she could manage.

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle could only stare at Apple Bloom in disbelief, through each of them were doing so for completely different reasons. Scootaloo was just confused, but Sweetie Belle was struggling to hold back giggles.

“Ha! Mah mere presence is causin’ y’all to quake with fear beyond words! Mah reign shall never be challenged! This world shall be mine forever!” continued Apple Bloom, lifting a hoof for dramatic flair.

It proved to be too much. While Apple Bloom’s tone and twisted ghoulified words certainly fit the bill, it was almost impossible to take her seriously with her thick country accent and young voice. Sweetie Belle fell to the ground, rolling in laughter.

Scootaloo, however, merely facehooved.

“Really, Apple Bloom? Really?” Scootaloo asked with a sigh.

Undeterred, Apple Bloom snapped her own neck and lifted her head into the air.

“Gaze upon me ya fools! Ah am invincible! No weapon can harm mah immortal flesh! Ah laugh at your feeble attempts at resistance! Ha ha ha!” declared Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle started laughing even harder, to the point she was starting to cry a little. Meanwhile, Scootaloo’s annoyed expression grew more annoyed, and also a little disturbed.

“Ew… did you have to do that, Apple Bloom? That looks really creepy,” said Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom looked at her friend in surprise, but then smirked. She just couldn’t let the opportunity pass her by.

“Oh really? Am Ah makin’ your head spin, Scootaloo?” asked Apple Bloom.

“A little bit, so can you not…” Scootaloo’s voice trailed off before she crossed her legs and let out a huff.

She was a little distracted by Apple Bloom literally spinning her head.

Walking right into that one, didn’t you? commented Uno.

Shut it, Uno, thought Scootaloo.

All too soon it was getting late, even for three fillies having a sleepover. So late, in fact, that it was actually early. Utterly exhausted, the three of them reluctantly put on their pajamas, turned off the lights, and crawled into their sleeping bags.

But before they settled in...

“Girls?” said Apple Bloom.

“Yeah?” replied Sweetie Belle.

There was a mumble from Scootaloo’s bag, but it sounded like she was still awake.

“Ah just wanted to say somethin’. Ah mean, it’s kind of obvious, and Ah know y’all feel the same, but after everything we’ve been through these past few months, Ah just want to say it again: Ah want y’all to know that you’re the best friends a filly could ask for, strange secrets and all. And Ah’m just… so happy to be here with ya,” said Apple Bloom.

There was a moment of silence, but it was the pleasant sort of silence.

“Same to you, Apple Bloom,” replied Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah, what the time traveling robot said,” grumbled Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom snorted at that.

“Well gee, thanks for your kind words, ya shape shiftin’ bug,” snarked Apple Bloom.

“Yeah, listen to the crispy zombie, Scootaloo,” added Sweetie Belle.

There was another moment of silence before the three of them started giggling once again.

As exhaustion set back in and the room fell silent once again, Apple Bloom rolled over and closed her eyes.

She really did have the best of friends.

Author's Note

Finally, after three years, over 130k words, and some of the most stressful last few months I've had in a long time:
It. Is. COMPLETE!!!!

Man... I almost can't believe I finished it. This is the first full fledged novel (you know, if you count fan fiction as actual books) I have ever written all the way to the end. And I'd like to think I've improved so much as a writer over the course of putting it all down.

I also can't believe how popular this story got. I mean, almost 2k upvotes?! 22k hits?! I think it even made it into the top 200 rated fics on the site at one point! I'm not entirely sure what I did to deserve numbers like those, but I am immensely grateful to everyone who took the time to read my story.

Seriously, thank you. I hope you enjoyed the ride, especially considering you probably read the whole thing to find this AN in the first place.

By the way, I'd appreciate any and all feedback, positive or negative. The entire reason I'm here writing pony fan fiction is because I want to improve myself as an author before trying my hand at an actual novel someday. I want to figure out what I did right that drew so many people in, and what I can do better next time.

Alright, that's enough of me tooting my own horn. How about instead I talk about the thing you're really reading this AN for: is there going to be a sequel?

The short answer is yes: I have plans for a sequel. I also have ideas for an origin story for the seven tribes of this AU, a really dark one-shot about Filthy Rich, a plot bunny of an AU of this AU, another AU of this AU inspired by a comment, and a spin-off about Bear Bone and Kamikazi. I'm not sure which I want to tackle first, probably the direct sequel, but feel free to send me a PM if you really want to see any of these.

I... think that's it. We're really and truly done here. Thanks again for stopping by!

Chapter 1: Questions, Answers, and Exposition

After calming Apple Bloom down (or at least getting her to stop whining about how they needed to change the group name), the three not-ponies decided to resume their questions. After all, there were still a lot of unanswered things to be asked, and fillies their age weren’t going to wait.

There was just the matter of deciding who would be the first to face the bombardment. Naturally, the fillies went with the most obvious method of choosing.

“Ok, whoever the bottle points to goes first, and then we go to her left. Agreed?” asked Scootaloo.

With nods from the others, Scootaloo gave the bottle a spin. After a few seconds it stopped… pointed directly between Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.

Three hooves met three faces, though Apple Bloom was careful not to knock her head off again.

“Ok, on second thought, I’ll just go first since I shared my secret first,” said Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle gave their approval, and the questions began anew.

“Ok, first things first, what’s the deal with changelings and ghouls?” asked Apple Bloom.

“It’s complicated. I’m probably going to have to share our entire history to answer that,” Scootaloo sighed.

The eager looks from her friends told her that that was EXACTLY what she was going to do.

“Ok, I’ll try to give the short version: Back when the Smooze was covering Equestria-”

“Wait, the Smooze?! Isn’t that that evil purple gunk from prehistory?!” interrupted Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom just stared at her.

“Sweetie, how the hay do you know that? We’re talking about stuff from, like, a thousand years before Hearth’s Warming. It’s not exactly something we learn in school,” said Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle gave an embarrassed chuckle. “Well, you see there was this one time I tried cooking applesauce and… oh, come on!”

Sweetie Belle had noticed the looks her friends were giving her.

“I know my cooking skills aren’t that good, but-“

“Aren’t that good?! Sweetie, do I need to remind you about the time you somehow burned juice?” asked Scootaloo.

“That was just the one time! And I was only trying to warm it up a bit,” grumbled Sweetie Belle.

“She’s right ya know. Even Pinkie said no to yer cupcakes while she ate mine. And mah batch was burnt black,” added Apple Bloom.

Sweetie groaned before continuing. “The point is, my sister mentioned how my apple sauce looked like the Smooze reincarnated, so I asked Twilight what that meant.”

“And? What exactly is this Smooze?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Basically a giant evil living blob of poisonous goo. They say it ‘sang and starred’ as it covered the land. I think that’s a fancy way of saying the nasty stuff it did to ponies it touched,” said Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo shook her head. “Actually it’s because it had eyes and… Never mind. The point is, this stuff was destroying the world, and it needed to be stopped. So the six pony tribes agreed to-“

“Six? Since when were there six pony tribes?” Apple Bloom interjected.

“Actually, there were originally seven. The terrans, alas, cornu, thestrals, salvares, papili, and hippocampi,” said Scootaloo.

Apple and Sweetie Belle just stared.

“Earth ponies, pegasi, unicorns, bat ponies, gem ponies, flutter ponies, and sea ponies,” said Scootaloo with an eye roll.

“Oh. What happened to the other four tribes?” asked Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo sighed. “Well, the bat ponies all died before the Smooze came during a war with some kind of evil force. Luna makes her guards look like them in their memory, or something like that. The gem ponies sort of went extinct because they kept getting married with the other tribes. What’s left of them was… well, ARE the crystal ponies, but they’re really only crystal versions of the other tribes, not their own tribe. The sea ponies were never seen again after they fled into the ocean depths, and the flutter ponies were the ones who sacrificed themselves to get rid of the Smooze.”

“To make a long story short, the flutter ponies basically gave up their magic to seal that gunk inside a mountain. Flutter ponies are really small, you see, so without their magic they were pretty much helpless. To keep them safe, the other tribes created a sort of mini-dimension where they would be protected from everything from bees to strong winds. They’re still there, actually. They only come out to collect pollen from important flowers that can’t grow in their home.”

“Wait… Are you talking about the breezies? I thought they were just rare pony-like bugs,” said Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo shrugged. “Well, without their magic, that’s pretty much all they are. They’re so helpless they need pegasi to make them very specific kind of breeze to even reach the pollen they need. That’s where they got their new name. It’s also why all of ponykind helps them in their journey. They’re so helpless because they gave up their magic for the rest of us.”

“Huh. That’s an interestin’ story, but what does that have to do with changelings?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Well, there’s a part of the story that nopony knows. For the seal to work, half the flutter ponies had to be inside the seal when it was cast. With the Smooze,” said Scootaloo.

“Eww…” said Sweetie Belle, “The stories said that the Smooze did nasty things to ponies who just touched it! And they were stuck with…“

The light above Sweetie’s head lit up. Literally. It was getting dark out and Apple Bloom had flipped the switch.

“Wait. Is that where the changelings come from? Flutter ponies that soaked in the Smooze for… however long?” she asked.

Scootaloo smiled. “That’s it exactly, Sweetie. That’s where the changelings come from. Flutter ponies corrupted by the Smooze. It’s why we have fangs, cocoons, disguises, and everything else even though we never use them. Well, most of them.”

“Wait, if changeling were flutter ponies trapped with the Smooze, than how’d y’all get out without breakin’ the seal? Last ah checked there ain’t some evil goop runnin’ ‘round. And what does any of this got ta do with ghouls?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Well…” Scootaloo scratched the back of her head, “That’s another long story, but basically a bunch of evil ghouls used some dark magic in an attempt to summon the Smooze out of the mountain, but picked us up instead.”

“So a bunch of ghouls saved ya, and ya hate ‘em for it?” asked Apple Bloom with a raised eyebrow.

“No, we hate them because they were trying to release the Smooze! I mean, keeping it trapped is the reason we became changelings in the first place! It’s really important to us that it stays that way! We’ve been fighting a war with them ever since they broke us out. So, yeah, we changelings have serious issues with ghouls,” explained Scootaloo.

“Ah see...” said Apple Bloom with a sigh, “But uh, yer gonna tell all the other changelings that ah’m not a bad ghoul, right?”

Scootaloo raised her (nonexistent) eyebrow.

“Uh, Apple Bloom? What makes you think I’m going to tell the rest of my hive that you’re a ghoul in the first place?”

“Well, changelings are bugs, right? And y’all have hives like bees, so don’t y’all have some kind ah mind-sharin’ thin’ goin’ on?” asked Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo gave Apple Bloom an awkward look.

Oh dear, thought Scootaloo’s mother, That’s not exactly a logical conclusion, but it’s not as if she’s wrong.

“Er… Ah didn’t insult ya by callin’ ya a bug, did I?” asked Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo shook her head. “Nah, we even call ourselves bugs. It’s just that I can’t believe you figured out the hive-mind just because we have hives.”

“So you DO have a mind-sharing thing going on? Can you talk to other changelings right now?! Can they hear what we’re saying?!” asked an increasingly nervous Sweetie Belle.

“Yes, yes, and only my mother. And that’s because she’s focusing on me right now. She says hi, by the way,” said Scootaloo.

Now you’ll have to properly introduce me, said Scootaloo’s mom.

Later mom, replied Scootaloo.

Sweetie took a few deep breaths, and calmed herself down. “Ok... Ok, I’m good. So there isn’t a giant crowd of insects watching me… er, no offense…”

Scootaloo just rolled her eyes. “It’s still not an insult, Sweetie. I just said we call OURSELVES bugs all the time. If you want to insult a changeling, call us parasites. Are you two planning on apologizing every time you call me a bug?”

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom rubbed the back of their necks.

Scootaloo facehooved. “Tell you what, I’ll forgive any bug jokes if you two forgive any zombie or robot jokes. Deal?”

“Deal.” The others answered back.

“Ok, next question,” said Scootaloo.

“Well... why do changelings need love? Ah mean, can’t y'all just love each other or somethin’?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Because we’re a race infected by the Smooze, Apple Bloom. That stuff sucks the happiness and joy right out of you. Love is the only thing that can really resist it. Helps us stay ponies and not turn into the monsters we look like. And we need love that hasn’t been touched by the Smooze yet, so yeah, we take love from others.” answered Scootaloo.

“Wait, changelings can’t feel happiness?!” asked Sweetie Belle.

“We can, just not for long. But that’s only if we’re hungry. When we’re well fed we can feel them the same as any other pony,” said Scootaloo,

“So, uh, how does the whole ‘eat love’ thing even work?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well...” Scootaloo put a hoof to her mouth, “It’s kind of hard to explain to a non-changeling. I guess I could say it’s like… drinking sort-of-magic from another pony?”

She shook her head.

“Ok, that sounded stupid. Give me some time to think of a better way to describe it,” she said.

“So… how much love do you have to take before a pony starts to, you know, start acting like a… zombie?” asked Sweetie Belle with an awkward look at Apple Bloom.

“We agreed not ta be insulted, Sweetie,” said Apple Bloom with a wave of her hoof.

“And the answer is, a lot. Like, ‘weeks of constant draining’ a lot. And that’s taking love that isn’t directed at us. When it is directed at us, we can take almost all of it without affecting the pony at all,” said Scootaloo.

“Ok… there’s been a rumor goin’ ‘round that changeling venom causes other ponies to turn into more changelings…” said Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo sighed. “That is, unfortunately, true. I don’t know how that got out, but yeah. It takes a TON of venom and it takes several hours before it even starts, but it’s possible. It’s also the single greatest crime a changeling can commit.”

“How serious?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Serious enough to consider being stripped of their magic as a possible punishment,” said Scootaloo.

All three fillies shivered at the idea. There was a reason anything related to magic draining was illegal to all races of Equis, even the non-magic ones, and not just because of how painful they tended to be.

“So, yeah. The only time a changeling would even THINK about using his or her venom would be if the pony in question was, I don’t know, dying or something and the venom was the only way to save them. Which is almost impossible because of how long it takes for the venom to work,” explained Scootaloo.

“So… changelings have genders?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo gave her an annoyed glare. “Yes. Yes we do, Sweetie Belle. Any other questions?”

Sweetie Belle put a hoof to her mouth before shaking her head. “No, that’s everything I can think of. For now, anyway.”

“Ah got a few more. How good are y’all at changin’? Can y’all turn into things other than ponies?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Well… I’m still too young to do anything fancy. And even for full grown changelings non-pony disguises are really hard to do. Possible, but hard,” said Scootaloo.

“So… what can ya do?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Well, aside from my pegasus form…” Scootaloo said as a flash a green flames consumed her, “I can also do an earth pony and a unicorn.”

Sure enough, when the flames died down Scootaloo the unicorn stood before them. The only hint that she was anything other than a normal unicorn was that her horn seemed a tad too sharp, but it was easy to miss. That, and it was really hard for the other crusaders to get over the fact their normally-pegasus friend had no wings.

“Wait, if you can be any tribe, why a pegasus?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well…” Scootaloo rubbed the back of her neck nervously as she burned away her disguise, “There’s a complicated process every changeling goes through when they get ready to head out into pony society. Our queen oversees as we demonstrate our abilities and-“

“Scoots, did you just pick a pegasus because of Rainbow Dash?” interrupted Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo sighed. “Ok, so maybe that had some part of it, Celestia knows how many times she unknowingly flew over our hive when I was a foal, but picking one’s race really is a lot more complicated than that. We are kind of choosing which abilities we want to develop, after all. A changeling disguised as a unicorn isn’t going be a skilled flyer.”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle silently agreed not to point out that Scootaloo wasn’t exactly a skilled flyer herself, despite her disguise choice.

“So… any other questions?” asked Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom let out a sigh. “Nah, that’s it for me too. Since ah shared second, ah guess it’s mah turn for questions now.”

“Ok, so you mentioned that you ran into a town of ghouls in the Everfree. What exactly happened?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well, ah was taggin’ along with Twilight when she was visitn’ Zecora. It was late when we were headdin’ home, and then a bunch a’ trees fell an’ blocked the road. While ah was waiting for Twi to clear the way, ah saw a pony wandering off into the forest. Or at least ah thought it was a pony, didn’t get a good look at it, and ah decided to follow it,” said Apple Bloom.

“Wait, you saw something that might have not been a pony, in the middle of one of the most dangerous places in Equestria, and you decided to follow it into the forest? Apple Bloom, that was really dumb!” said Scootaloo.

“Yeah! Remember what happened the last time we tried exploring the forest?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Y’all mean the time ah wandered in and y’all just stood there?” asked Apple Bloom with a raised eyebrow.

“You were on a path Apple Bloom. We thought you were going to see Zecora. And Sweetie Belle's talking about the cockatrice,” said Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom sighed. “Yeah, Ah know it was stupid of me, but Ah thought I saw another pony lost in the forest. Ah couldn’t just leave her.”

“I don’t know Apple Bloom. That sounds a lot like the start of every ghost story ever,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Ah ended up in a town full a’ ghouls, Sweetie. It IS a ghost story,” said Apple Bloom.

“Oh, right,” said Sweetie with a blush.

“So anyway,” continued Apple Bloom, “Ah followed it into what looked like a small town. Now, it seemed normal enough, despite bein’ in the middle of tha everfree. The ponies around seemed real friendly-like, and there was some kinda party goin’ on. But ah noticed somethin’ wrong right away: none of the ponies had cutie marks!”

“So you found a town in everfree that no one’s ever heard of before full of ponies who didn’t have cutie marks, and you never thought ‘hey, there’s something wrong here, I should probably leave?’” asked Scootaloo.

“It was dark out, Scoots. Ah figured that if Twilight went lookin’ for me I’d best be near somethin’ she’d see from a distance. Besides, if ya saw a town full of grown-up blank flanks, wouldn’t ya wanna find out why they’re all blank?” said Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo sighed. “Ok, I can’t argue with that, but at least tell me you didn’t just join the party and forgot you were in the middle of the Everfree.”

“Ah didn’t. Ah asked around a little, an’ poked in a few of their houses. That’s where Ah found what was wrong. Turns out that they were all blank flanks because they thought a cutie mark was a curse of some kind. Getting one meant that you made a deal with a tartarus spawn or somethin,” said Apple Bloom.

“What? That’s just stupid. Ponies have had cutie marks since, well, ever!” said Sweetie Belle with a raised eyebrow.

“She’s right. Cutie marks were a gift from the all-mother. Every pony in history has had one. Or at least was able to get one. Well, until the flutter ponies gave up their magic and… nevermind,” added Scootaloo.

“All-mother? Ya mean Lauren?” asked Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo gasped. “Apple Bloom! You’re not supposed to say her name!!”

“Ah know. ‘Sacred beyond words’ and all that. That’s why the apple family calls her Lauren. We came up with the name because we got tired of always calling her ‘the all-mother.’ Doesn’t sound right to call her somethin’ distant like that, ya know? And really Scootaloo, wouldn’t a goddess have a name that sounds more, well, like a goddess?” said Apple Bloom with an eyeroll.

“Wait, who are we talking about?” asked Sweetie Belle.

The others looked at her like she had grown another head.

“The all-mother? The one who created the world, and everypony in it? The mother of Celestia and Luna? The one they loved so much that they have never taken the title of queen in respect of her?” questioned Scootaloo.

“Oh, that all-mother. My parents always called her Queen Faust.” said Sweetie Belle with a nod.

Scootaloo facehooved, “What is with you ponies and giving the all-mother nicknames?”

“Well, my mom said that it was sort of a unicorn tradition because ‘all-mother’ makes Queen Faust sound like some kind of baby factory. Whatever that means,” said Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo wasn’t sure how to respond to that.

“Let it go, dear. The nicknames are not disrespectful to the all-mother,” her mother added.

Fine… thought Scootaloo with a sigh.

“Anyway, the point is that there’s no reason in the world for any pony to believe something as dumb as cutie marks being bad. How in Equestria was there an entire town of them?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom shrugged. “Ah have no idea, honestly. Twilight said she had a theory about an ancient pony cult that thought Lauren (Scootaloo gave a huff) was to blame for all the nasty thin’s that were invading Equestria after she left, or somethin’ like that.”

“Ok, so they were a town full of weirdos who thought Queen Faust was evil. Somehow. That doesn’t explain the zombies. I mean, I don’t think Queen Faust would turn them into zombies just because they didn’t like her,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Well, from what ah could gather a filly in their town got a cutie mark by accident, and then the rest of the town got really mad at her and... Well, let’s just say that ah found her bones in a fireplace,” Apple Bloom said with a shiver.

The other crusaders shivered as well.

“So... they killed her, and she came back as a zombie and killed everyone in the town in revenge?” pondered Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom stared at her.

“What? It’s a ghost story. That’s what usually happens,” said Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes, “Yeah, but not for this one. The pony that died was the only one not a ghoul. Ah don’t know how they became zombies, but it wasn’t her. Ah remember one of them mumbled about how it was their fate because they killed her, but ah don’t know why.”

“OK, back to your story, how’d you get away?” asked Scootaloo.

“Well, after Ah found the body them ghouls decided to drop the act and tried to get me. They keep goin’ on about ‘saving me from the cursed mark’ or somethin’. Ah made a run for it, and managed to get a ways out of the town, but Ah tripped, and one them ghouls grabbed mah hoof.”

“It felt… really cold, ya know? And that cold was creeping up mah leg, turning it black like the rest of ‘em. But it wasn’t even halfway up mah leg before Twilight and Zecora found me. Twilight blasted them ghouls away, while Zecora shoved a potion down mah throat that made me black out.”

“Next thing Ah know, Ah’m sittin’ in Zecora’s cauldron as she and Twilight are sealin’ mah curse, two weeks later. The town was gone, and Ah was a ghoul.”

Apple Bloom let out another sigh.

“Mah family was there too. It was…”

“Awkward?” suggested Scootaloo.

“Depressing?” suggested Sweetie Belle.

“Ah was gonna say sad, but yeah, those work too. Applejack kept cryin’ every time she looked at me. Granny was mumblin’ about some exo-somthin’ or other. And Big Mac… well he didn’t say anythin’ but he kept lookin' at me with a serious look on his face. More serious than usual, Ah mean,” said Apple Bloom.

“Er… they still care about you, right?” asked Sweetie Belle nervously.

“Of course they do! They still give me funny looks from time ta time, but they never once said that Ah’m not a part of the family no more! Applejack once said she’ll turn into a ghoul herself before she turned her back on me,” said Apple Bloom.

“OK, that’s good to know. My parents took my secret pretty well too,” said Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo nodded her approval as well.

“Ok, any other questions?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Well, you kind of already answered everything I wanted to know in your story. I mean, I know a fair amount about ghouls already, and you just finished filling in the blanks,” said Scootaloo nervously.

“I think I still have a few. What’s it like, being a ghoul?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well, aside from feelin’ like ah’m made of sticks, it’s cold. Really cold. Y’all have no idea what it’s like to feel cold on tha inside,” Apple Bloom said before she paused and looked at her insect and robot friends.

“Er… do ya?” she asked.

“Nah, changelings are ponies with bug parts. We’re warm on the inside like any other pony,” said Scootaloo.

“And my wires and stuff are actually pretty warm most of the time,” added Sweetie Belle.

“Ok then, yeah. Y’all have no idea what it’s like,” said Apple Bloom.

“Ok, next question, do you eat brains?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“No,” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo answered together. Apple Bloom turned to her friend in surprise.

“Ghouls don’t eat brains. Besides, If you did there’s no way you’d go six months without chomping down on Twilight, or your brother, or miss dictionary over there,” said Scootaloo pointing to Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie replied with an eye roll. “I don’t think I even have a brain.”

Apple Bloom responded by giggling.

“Yeah, it would be hard to resist brains like those. But yeah, Ah don’t eat brains. Ah still eat hay and fruit and everythin’ else like a normal pony.” she said.

“OK, one last question. Can you still age? I mean, yeah, you’re technically dead, but are you going to be a filly for the rest of your…uh... un-life?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Ah’m pretty sure ah can grow up. Ah still eat, sleep, and go to the bathroom like any other pony. And Applejack mentioned she thought Ah’m still getting taller last time she checked. What about you, Sweetie Belle?” asked Apple Bloom.

“I… don’t know. I still don’t know how long I’ve been a robot, so I can’t tell you if I’m still growing or not,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Ya said ya still eat ‘n sleep, don’t ya?” asked Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle sighed, “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m getting bigger. I’m a robot! Shouldn’t I be eating metal or something if I wanted to grow up?”

Neither Apple Bloom nor Scootaloo had an answer to that.

“OK. Anythin’ else y’all wanna know?” asked Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle put her hoof to her mouth for a moment before saying, “Nah, that’s it for me.”

“All right, guess it’s your turn, Sweetie,” said Apple Bloom.

“OK, but there isn’t a lot I can answer,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Hm… can you tell us how you found out you’re a robot?” asked Scootaloo.

“Yeah, but it’s not as exciting as prehistory or a town of zombies. I was just making some peanut butter and jelly sandwi… really?” She said, noticing her friends’ (once again) horrified looks.

“Sweetie, the burnt juice…” reminded Scootaloo.

“I didn’t even turn on the stove this time! And Rarity was right next to me to make sure I didn’t ruin anything. And I was making the sandwiches for you two. Both of you had been pretty depressed lately for some reason, though I guess it’s kind of obvious why now," said Sweetie Belle.

The other crusaders couldn’t decide whether to be touched by how much she cared for them, or relieved that these sandwiches never saw the light of day.

“Anyway, While I was spreading the jelly I slipped, sending me to the floor and the knife I was using into the air. And as luck would have it, the knife ended up landing pointy-side down in my gut,” continued Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom cringed at the mental image.

“Well, Rarity and I started panicking. I mean, I had a knife sticking out of me! But then I noticed that the knife didn’t hurt. And I wasn’t bleeding either. Yeah, it hurt when it landed, but after that I couldn’t even feel it."

“While Rarity ran around shrieking how I had become a pincushion, I tried to pull the knife out. I figured that if I wasn’t bleeding and it didn’t hurt, then it couldn’t be serious, right? I probably could just take it out, and I’d see that the knife was only caught in my coat, or something.”

“Really?” deadpanned Apple Bloom.

“I was still panicking Apple Bloom, give me a break,” said Sweetie Belle with an eye roll, “But, when I reached over and tried to pull it out of me, I found that it was stuck. I wiggled it around a little, trying to get it loose, but then there was a loud click, my stomach opened up, and, well, you girls know what I saw.”

The others nodded.

“The sight of my robot insides made Rarity faint, so I was on my own trying to figure out what was happening to me. Or had happened I guess, I was definitely a robot by then. I screamed, I cried, I tried poking my insides a bit…”

“Er… Sweetie? Can you skip this part? I mean, did you actually learn anything from touching your own guts? Even if they aren’t really guts…” interrupted Scootaloo.

“Besides, Ah don’t think we need to know how much ya panicked over this,” added Apple Bloom.

Sweetie shrugged.

“Yeah, that’s a good point. But I did learn that my wires are ticklish.” she said, before noticing that Scootaloo looked VERY uncomfortable.

“Sorry. Anyway, after a minute or so Pinkie came in. She said something about her Pinkie sense, but then gave a gasp when she saw me on the floor with my stomach open. She said ‘Wow, Sweetie Belle! I never knew you were a P-300 model!’ before closing me up and giving me a hug.”

“P-300? Ah know it’s Pinkie and all, but what the hay’s that supposed to mean?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Isn’t that the name of the robot from that adult movie? The Exterminator?” suggested Scootaloo.

“Nah, ah’m pretty sure that one’s called the DI-135,” said Apple Bloom.

The other two stared at her.

“It was on the poster. Why would Ah want to sneak into an adult movie? Remember what happened last time we tried that?” reminded Apple Bloom,

Scootaloo shivered. That two hour romance film had scarred her for life, despite her being a love eating changeling!

“Er… can we just say it was Pinkie being Pinkie and move on?” she asked.

Sweetie shrugged. “It was probably just a joke about some other movie robot anyway, but there really isn’t much else to say. Rarity woke up, called my parents, and we all had a long talk about why I was a robot. My mom said I was definitely born a normal pony (not that she said how she knew that), but there was no way to know if I had been a robot for years or just for two days.”

“So… what’s it like, being a robot?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Not that different, actually. Other than when I’m looking at myself in a mirror I barely even notice it. Well, that and the fact that I sometimes make weird noises when I walk,” said Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle got up and walked around the clubhouse a bit. Sure enough, there was a small noise coming off of her with every step.

“So… do ya have any cool robot powers?” asked Apple Bloom.

“I don’t know,” said Sweetie Belle with a shrug.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom paused to think. It was hard to ask Sweetie Belle questions about something that she didn’t know much about. Then Scootaloo remembered something Sweetie Belle had said earlier.

“Wait...you mentioned something about a ‘full-robot mode.’ What that?” asked Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle sighed, “Exactly what it sounds like. Pinkie Pie somehow figured out that I can go full robot. I start talking and acting like a machine, using really big words that I don’t even know the meaning of, and my vision gets all funny. I start seeing numbers and lines everywhere.”

“Can ya show us?” asked Apple Bloom.

Sweetie grimaced.

“Yes, but I really don’t like doing it. It makes my head hurt, and it kind of freaks me out,” she explained.

“Ah’m not askin’ ya to stay that way, just to show us,” said Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle sighed. “Ok, just give me a second…”

Sweetie seemed to go stiff for a moment, her eyes flickering, and then:

“ALL SYSTEMS ONLINE. UNIT READY FOR INPUT,” said Sweetie Belle, her voice now distinctly machine-like.

“Woah…” said Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle turned to face Scootaloo. Her eyes seemed… sharper, for lack of a better word.

“SCANNING… SUBJECT IDENTIFIED AS CHANGELING UNIT: SCOOTALOO. STATUS: FRIEND.”

“Well, ya definitely sound like a robot now, though it’s kinda weird…” said Apple Bloom.

“SCANNING… SUBJECT IDENTIFIED AS GHOUL UNIT: APPLE BLOOM. STATUS: FRIEND.”

“Come on, Apple Bloom, this is kind of cool! She’s a full-blown robot!” said Scootaloo.

“THIS UNIT DISAGREES WITH UNIT SCOOTALOO. THE ACT OF BEING AN ARTIFICIAL LIFE FORM IS NOT ‘COOL.’”

Scootaloo gave a huff.

“Come on, Sweetie Belle! You could probably ace every math exam ever like this. Like… what’s six times six?” she asked.

“6 MULTIPLIED BY 6 RESULTS IN 36. WARNING: THIS UNIT IS EXPERIENCING LARGE AMOUNTS OF ANNOYANCE. REQUESTING IMMEDIATE CEASE OF AGGRAVATION.”

Scootaloo gave an awkward chuckle. “Sorry Sweetie. But to have to admit this is kind of neat.”

“EXECUTING EXASPERATED SIGH,” said Sweetie Belle before sighing, “THIS UNIT RELUCTANTLY AGREES WITH UNIT SCOOTALOO. SADNESS LEVELS AT 32%.”

“Hm… Yer sayin’ ‘this unit’ a lot. Ah know yer talkin’ ‘bout yerself, but can’t ya give yerself a name too?” suggested Apple Bloom.

“PROCESSING REQUEST…” said Sweetie Belle. “REQUEST ACKNOWLEDGED. ASSIGNING DESIGNATION TO: THIS UNIT. ASSIGNING DESIGNATION: SWEETIE BELLE. LOADING… LOADING… ERROR: DESIGNATION SWEETIE BELLE ALREADY ASSIGNED TO ANOTHER UNIT.”

“Wait, what?!” exclaimed Scootaloo.

“DESIGNATION SWEETIE BELLE HAS BEEN ASSIGNED TO M.P.S. UNIT 23457. PLEASE ASSIGN AN ALTERNATIVE DESIGNATION FOR THIS UNIT.”

“MPS Unit? What they hay is a… wait, Apple Bloom, write that down! This could be a clue about why Sweetie Belle’s a robot!” said Scootaloo.

“On it.” replied Apple Bloom, who had already pulled out some paper and a crayon. “Unit two-three-four…”

“ASSISTANCE REQUESTED IN ATTEMPTS TO ASSIGN DESIGNATION,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Hm…” Scootaloo put a hoof to her mouth. “Well, how something close to your name? Like a nickname we could call you while you’re in ‘full-robot’ mode. How about… Sweetie Bot?”

“SUGGESTION ACKNOWLEDGED. LOADING… LOADING… DESIGNATION ASSIGNED. THIS UNIT HAS BEEN SUCCESSFULLY DESIGNATED ‘SWEETIE BOT.’ WARNING: BAD PUN DETECTED. ANNOYANCE LEVELS AT 56%.”

Scootaloo gave Sweetie Belle a confused look.

“Wait, you have some kind bad pun sensor? Why would a robot have a… Nevermind, you probably don’t know anyway,” Scootaloo sighed.

“UNIT SWEETIE BOT IS…”

Suddenly, Sweetie Belle started twitching.

“WARNING: UNIT SWEETIE BOT’S M.P.S. SUFFERING COMPATIBILITY REJECTION. RECOMMEND IMMEDIATE DEACTIVATION OF COMPUTATION SYSTEMS,” she said.

“Wait, What?! You have one of those MPS things too?!” exclaimed Scootaloo.

“REQUEST IMMEDIATE DEACTIVATION OF COMPUTATION SYSTEMS,” repeated Sweetie Belle, still twitching.

“OK, OK. Deactivate the whatever. That twitching doesn’t look healthy,” said Scootaloo.

“SHUTTING DOWN COMPUTATION SYSTEMS…”

Sweetie Belle’s eyes flickered again, before she shook her head and rubbed it with a hoof.

“Gah…my head...” she mumbled, her voice back to normal.

“You ok, Sweetie?” asked Scootaloo.

‘Yeah, just… ugh… just give me a second… That always makes me feel like I just got zapped by lightning,” said Sweetie Belle, still rubbing her head.

“Did you get all that Apple Bloom?” asked Scootaloo.

“Yep. Even the part about her havin’ a MPS. Whatever the hay that means,” replied Apple Bloom.

“I’m not sure, but I think we can safely say that Sweetie Belle’s not the only robot in Equestria,” said Scootaloo.

“What makes ya say that?” asked Apple Bloom.

“She said something about unit two-three-something. As in there must be a unit two-two-something, and a unit two-one-something. I mean, you don’t give something a number unless you plan to make more, right?” answered Scootaloo.

“So… it’s not just me?” said Sweetie Belle, shaking the last of her headache away.

“I think so. When changelings are born they’re typically given numbers before they’re named. I was number 14 of my clutch before I was named Scootaloo because I had 13 older brothers and sisters. I think this might be the same idea," said Scootaloo with a nod.

“We also know that there’s an MPS thing called Sweetie Belle. And that Sweetie Belle has one too. Y'all don’t think that’s Sweetie’s MPS is number two-three-four? Ah mean, why else would it be called Sweetie Belle?” added Apple Bloom, looking over her notes.

The other two just shrugged.

“What is a MPS anyway? Magic Pickle Song? You sounded like you knew what it was, Sweetie Belle,” noted Scootaloo.

“Well… When I go full robot my head sort of overflows with stuff I don’t know. I have no idea what the hay I was saying,” admitted Sweetie Belle as she rubbed the back of her neck.

“Still, at least we learned that robo-you knows somethin’. Maybe we can try and get somethin’ out of it later when yer head’s up for another go," suggested Apple Bloom.

“That’s probably a good idea. Wish I’d thought of doing that sooner. Maybe then I could have answered more questions,” admitted Sweetie Belle.

“Don’t worry, Sweetie Belle. We’ll figure this out. I’m positive Sweetie Bot will get us the answers we need,” said Scootaloo while giving her friend a pat on the back.

“Sweetie Bot?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well, since full-robot you knows things that not-full-robot you doesn’t, I think we should call it something else,” explained Scootaloo.

“Not that. I’m asking why you came up with such a stupid name,” said Sweetie Belle with an annoyed look.

“It’s not stupid. A bit punny, but come on. We live in Ponyville! Everything’s a pun here,” said Scootaloo.

“Doesn’t mean you should help it along,” argued Sweetie Belle, “Anyway, you two have any other questions you think I can answer?”

“Nah, Ah’m good,” said Apple Bloom.

“Well… I guess I have one. Can Sweetie Bot tell if a pony is a changeling? It said something about scanning,” asked Scootaloo.

Sweetie shrugged. “I don’t know. Are there any changelings in town we could try it on?”

Scootaloo put a hoof to her mouth. “I’ll have to ask my mom first, and then I’d have to find one willing to let you look at them, and we have to do it in a way that you wouldn’t know he or she’s a changeling…but I guess we’ll worry about that later.”

“Ok, so we’re all done with questions now?” asked Sweetie Belle.

She was met with a pair of nods.

“So… now what do we do?” asked Sweetie Belle.

The changeling, ghoul, and robot just looked at each other for a bit.

“Well… how about we get this slumber party goin’? Ah mean it’s dark out now, we got all weekend to figure this stuff out, and we did have to talk our sisters into letting us have one after the fire we started last time. No point in lettin’ a few secrets keep us from havin’ fun tonight,” suggested Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle looked at each other for a minute, before nodding.

“Yeah, we’ll worry about this secret stuff more tomorrow. Let’s party!” said Scootaloo as she turned back into a pegasus.

Apple Bloom re-tied her ribbon, and in a blink she was back to her yellow self.

The three of them had a fairly normal sleep over for the rest of the night. Or at least as normal as it could be with the CMC. Needless to say there was a great deal of chaos and a few new burn marks on the walls before they finally decided to call it a night. Despite everything they had on their minds, the three little not-ponies slept better that night than any of them had in weeks.

Even Sweetie Belle, though her dreams were full of sheep again.

Author's Note

Alright, now that we got the long-winded background stuff out of the way, I can focus on writing the actual slice-of-life stuff.

Also, I'm looking forward to guesses on what MPS stand for. Here's a hint: it's not Magic Pickle Song.

Chapter 16: The Origin of Sweetie Bot Part 1

Dear Sweetie Belle,

I’m sending you this letter to inform you that my research into that particular matter we discussed is now concluded. Unfortunately, I can not say the results are satisfactory. I considered inviting you to speak about it face to face, but I figured I’d just send everything in this letter to avoid getting your hopes too high.

Despite my best efforts, I must admit I have nothing to show for it. The samples I took yielded no results, other than the fact that the material in question is nearly identical to a pony’s natural coat. My attempts at cross-referencing also proved ineffective. There are simply too many variants to consider for me to identify any single relevant source as a definitive guideline we could use.

Though I did find this one story I’d recommend about a pony’s brain that... on second thought, that book is probably inappropriate for someone your age. Forget I said anything.

I even tried expanding my resources and contacted the most skilled engineering ponies in Equestria I could find. I did so discreetly, of course, under the guise of researching for a realistic short story I was writing. I was able to gleam that what we’re dealing with is certainly possible in theory, but not likely for several centuries. And that’s to say nothing about that one special anomaly. I was simply laughed at when I brought it up.

The Princesses’ own research has also proven fruitless. Princess Luna has been unable to gleam anything from your dreams that we did not already know, nor any hints hidden in the dreams of other ponies. She did, however, want me to mention that she was amused by your “secret identity” in “that one dream with the box of scraps.” I’ll admit my curiosity is piqued, but I shall not press the matter.

Princess Celestia also regrets to declare that she couldn’t find any answers in the royal archives either. She did, however, want me to pass on some words of wisdom: “secrets such as these rarely remain secrets forever. The answers shall undoubtedly reveal themselves in due time.”

I can not help but agree with this sentiment. I suspect that, sooner or later, we are likely to face some incident or end up going on some grand adventure that will reveal everything. I've already prepared a travel pack for this, and I recommend you do the same. I predict it will happen shortly after we run completely out of possible leads, and I’ve just exhausted mine.

I understand this probably wasn’t the news you were hoping for, but we both knew my research was unlikely to uncover anything. However, I want to reassure you that whatever happens and whenever it does, Rarity, the girls, and I will be here to help you every step of the way. You may even end up pleasantly surprised by what you learn.

Until then, keep your head up high.

-Twilight Sparkle

“Are you OK, Sweetie Belle?” asked Button Mash.

Sweetie Belle looked up from her ice cream. She’d gone out for a pick-me-up with her newest friend to try and clear her head. She was trying to be discreet about it, but apparently her resignation was painted on her face.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just that I got a letter in the mail this morning. A project I was working on with Twilight Sparkle sort of… fell apart,” she answered.

Button let out sympathetic wince.

“Oh. It must have been a really big project too, huh?” asked Button Mash.

“Yeah, though if I was honest with myself, it probably wasn’t going to work in the first place,” Sweetie Belle confessed with a sigh.

Twilight admitted that she had no idea what to make of me. This really shouldn’t bother me so much, but it does, Sweetie Belle thought to herself.

I see... “ said Button, not sure how to respond.

The two ate in silence for a moment.

“So… you wanna go to the arcade? Let some of your frustration out on some mooks in The Simpletons? I got some bits to burn, and you look like you’d get more out of them than me,” suggested Button.

Sweetie Belle shook her head.

“Thanks for the offer, but no. It’s just… Well, this whole point of the project was something personal. It’s not the sort of thing you can get over by beating up waves of yellow bad guys, you know?” explained Sweetie Belle.

Button thought about it for a moment, then nodded.

“Ah. So it’s a lady thing. My mom told me I should never ask a filly about personal lady things, so yeah, I get it... I think,” said Button with an awkward smile.

Sweetie Belle found herself giggling. Button’s obliviousness was just so darn cute sometimes.

“Yeah, you should listen to your mom, Button. But thanks for trying to cheer me up all the same,” said Sweetie Belle as she leaned over and gave Button a hug.

…

“Oh, sorry! I’m just so used to hugging my friends when they try to make me feel better so…” said Sweetie Belle as she quickly pulled away with a blush.

“It’s… uh… OK. I mean, I don’t believe in cooties or... anything…” mumbled Button through his own blush.

Sweetie Belle turned away, trying very hard to avoid eye contact.

I really hope nopony saw that, or Scootaloo’s never going to stop calling him my coltfriend, thought Sweetie Belle.

The thought of Scootaloo, thankfully, provided Sweetie Belle with a much needed distraction.

Oh, right. Twilight and the Princesses weren’t the only ones helping me try to figure this out. The changelings are looking too. I bet I’ll just walk into the clubhouse and Scootaloo will tell me that they’ve found some secret robot factory or something, thought Sweetie Belle with rising confidence.

Dear Sweetie Belle:

I have some important news for you: the changeling hives have finished their investigations regarding your little secret. Unfortunately, I cannot say we had much luck. Our sweeping spells, calibrated to your own perception filter, came up with nothing across the entirety of Equestria. While we found this somewhat confusing, considering your high serial number, the simple fact remains: you are the only r… I mean, that kind of being in the nation.

We all knew it was unlikely that a hidden civilization or something of that nature could exist without us knowing about it, but we still failed you. The queens from all seven hives wish to send you their apologies. Still, the fact that you are the only one might be important. I’m not sure how this fits into the big picture, but I hope this new detail will help you find the answers you’re looking for.

Anyway, good luck solving this mystery. I’m certain that you, your friends, and my little firefly will figure it all out in due time.

-Blue Monarch.

Sweetie Belle looked up from the letter in her hooves to glare at Scootaloo.

“Yeah, I probably should have given you this a few days ago when my mom wrote it, but between the ghouls, us becoming citizens, and saying goodbye to Thorax, it kind of slipped my mind,” admitted Scootaloo, nervously rubbing the back of her neck.

“Yeah. I kind of figured,” deadpanned Sweetie Belle.

“Well, it’s not like we were the only ones trying to find something. Maybe Twilight’s research is going better?” suggested Scootaloo with an apologetic tone.

Sweetie Belle replied by pulling out the other letter she got that morning.

“Oh. OK, yeah, I definitely should have told you about this sooner. And if you got that letter first today then you probably already went out for ice cream with your coltfriend so…” continued Scootaloo.

“He’s not my coltfriend,” growled Sweetie Belle as her blush returned.

That hug was totally non-romantic, she thought.

“Fine, you already went out for ice cream with your not-coltfriend, so we can’t just get you some comfort food. Too much ice cream at once ruins its ability to wash away your problems,” finished Scootaloo with a roll of her eyes.

Sweetie Belle let out a yet another sigh.

“So, now what? Everypony we asked for help couldn’t find anything, and we’re no closer to finding answers ourselves then we were months ago,” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well, we know you’ve got a built in hose, a targeting system, night vision, a breath-underwater mode…” recited Scootaloo.

“And a bunch of other neat tricks I can do, yes. But nothing whatsoever on why I’m a robot in the first place,” finished Sweetie Belle as she flopped back onto her bean bag.

Scootaloo was silent for a moment while she tried to find something to say. A moment later, the front door opened.

“Sorry we’re late. One of the cows got loose and decided to play a game of “run all the way to the other side of the farm for no reason,” said Apple Bloom as she entered the clubhouse.

“Yeah. Apparently it’s a big deal to bovids. Never thought I’d see a cow doin’ an awkward victory dance when she made it all the way to end. Anyway, what’d we miss?” asked Babs Seed.

“Nopony in Equestria knows why I’m a robot,” answered Sweetie Belle.

Babs Seed raised an eyebrow.

“Uh… You don’t know why you’re a robot?” asked Babs.

Sweetie Belle blinked in surprise as she realized she’d forgotten to share that detail with Apple Bloom’s cousin. How the hay had they forgot to mention that?

Oh right. Because they’d spilled the beans while on a moving parade float and hadn’t brought it up since. Not exactly an ideal time to share details about secrets.

“...so, yeah. At this point all we have are a bunch of fancy codenames, a creepy voice I heard once, and the fact that I’m the only robot in Equestria,” finished Sweetie Belle.

Babs looked at her in disbelief.

“Uh… Babs?” asked Apple Bloom.

Babs Seed sighed and ran a hoof down her face.

“Sorry, Ah just forgot what town Ah was in for a moment there. Anyway, ya said ya took notes on everythin’, right?” asked Babs.

The other fillies nodded.

“Mind if Ah take a look? Maybe Ah can spot somethin’ you three missed,” asked Babs.

With a shrug, Sweetie Belle passed her the notes in question. Her hopes really weren’t that high. They’d reviewed the notes themselves countless times and nothing had stood out to them. Still, it wasn’t like they had any other ideas.

A few minutes passed as Babs looked over the notes. Suddenly, Babs tapped one of the pages.

“This bit right here, when ya were checkin’ if she had a taser, did ya bother lookin’ for this… A.P.P. specialist she mentioned?” asked Babs.

“That was one of the things we changelings were looking for during our search, and we didn’t find anything. We swept the whole nation for anything behind a disguise spell, and nothing. I’m pretty sure Twilight Sparkle looked for something like that as well and got the same results,” answered Scootaloo.

“Yeah, but did ya have Sweetie Bot try to look for it?” asked Babs.

“Well… no, I guess. Why would we if the Princess’s prized student and an entire nation of changelings were looking for one?” said Sweetie Belle.

“Because if there is an A.P.P specialist somewhere, that deals with robots that supposedly don’t exist aside from you, don’t ya think they’d put a little effort into making sure they wouldn’t be found by anyone that ain’t a robot? There’s more ways to hide than just putting up a magic disguise, ya know. And if Sweetie Bot has some built in radar or somethin’, Ah bet she could find it,” explained Babs.

…

Smack! Smack! Clang!

Three hooves met three faces, one more metallic than the others.

“How the hay did we miss that? How the hay did we never think of checking if Sweetie Belle has some kind of radar? And how in Tartarus were you able to spot that in, like, five minutes?” demanded Scootaloo.

“Because Ah was just lookin’ for details you girls didn’t mention when ya were explainin’. When ya have the whole story laid out in front of ya, it's easier to spot the holes. Wasn’t that impressive, really,” replied Babs with a shrug.

After taking a moment to finish beating herself up for missing that detail, Sweetie Belle took a deep breath and went full Sweetie Bot.

“ALL SYSTEMS ONLINE. SWEETIE BOT READY FOR INPUT,” declared Sweetie Belle.

“Whoa. That’s kinda awesome. And creepy,” said Babs Seed with wide eyes.

She quickly ran a check for a radar system. Sure enough, one of her ears opened up to reveal a small metal dish that quickly rose above her head and began spinning.

“ADVANCED SCANNING SYSTEM ONLINE,” declared Sweetie Belle.

Alright. Let’s hope this works, though Sweetie Belle.

“BEGINNING SCAN FOR: LOCAL A.P.P. SPECIALIST,” she announced.

SCANNING…

SCANNING…

SCANNING…

If Sweetie Belle could have described the experience of searching with radar with words, it’d be something like: shouting loudly and seeing far away with the echos, while being completely blind to what she was seeing. Everything she “saw” that wasn’t what she was searching for was quickly discarded and forgotten, leaving only the knowledge that she’d already searched a given area.

SCANNING…

SCANNING…

SCANNING…

“Any idea how long this is going to take?” asked Scootaloo.

“No idea. Ya wanna head back to the house and grab some snacks?” suggested Apple Bloom.

“Nah. You can if you want to, though,” replied Scootaloo.

SCANNING…

SCANNING…

SCANNING…

“SCAN COMPLETE,” declared Sweetie Bot.

Wait, it’s over? But nothing happened… thought Sweetie Belle.

“RESULTS: 0 A.P.P. SPECIALISTS IN CURRENT AREA,” announced Sweetie Bot.

There were several disappointed sighs around the clubhouse.

“WARNING; NO A.P.P SPECIALISTS IN SCANNING RANGE. INSUFFICIENT EMERGENCY SERVICES IN LOCAL AREA. EMERGENCY PROTOCOL 911D ACTIVATED. DETERMINING CURRENT LOCATION,” continued Sweetie Bot.

Wait, what?! Thought Sweetie Belle as her robotic body immediately started processing something she had not entered herself.

Her radar started spinning again, but it only took a second for it to finish.

“ANALYSIS COMPLETE. CURRENT LOCATION: PONYVILLE. ERROR: AREA TOO POPULATED FOR INSUFFICIENT EMERGENCY SERVICES. SEARCHING FOR POSSIBLE DISASTER ALERTS,” continued Sweetie Bot.

“Uh… Sweetie Belle? What are you doing?” asked Scootaloo in a concerned tone.

“Well, it said somethin’ about an emergency protocol. Ah think she tripped some kind of automatic process or somethin’. We should probably just wait until it’s done,” said Babs.

Apple Bloom was quiet. She was too busy franticly taking notes.

“NO DISASTER ALERTS DETECTED. SEARCHING FOR POSSIBLE EXPLANATIONS,” continued Sweetie Bot.

With a click, Sweetie Belle’s radar slipped back into her ear. A moment later, her other ear opened up as a long metal pole proceeded to pop out and point toward the sky.

“CONNECTING… ERROR: NETWORK SERVICES UNAVAILABLE. SEARCHING FOR POSSIBLE CAUSES… ERROR: UNABLE TO LOCATE LOCAL NETWORK TOWER. SEARCHING INTERNAL SYSTEMS FOR APPROPRIATE PROTOCOL,” declared Sweetie Bot.

How much longer is this going to take?! thought Sweetie Belle in a steadily increasing panic as her body continued to do stuff without her say-so.

“PROTOCOL FOUND: CODE 1985: CURRENT SITUATION RESULTING FROM T.I.M.E. ACTIVITY. SITUATION NORMAL. PLEASE CONSULT LOCAL T.I.M.E. OPERATIVE FOR MORE DETAILS,” finished Sweetie Bot.

The clubhouse was silent for a few moments, then everyone let out a breath of relief as Sweetie Bot finally stopped. What it had just said, however, made the fillies looked at each other in surprise.

“T.I.M.E.? Well, that’s clearly a shortened version of something, but…” said Scootaloo.

“We probably shouldn’t jump to any conclusions. It might stand for Take Ice Machines Everywhere for all we know. Can ya make a quick search for that, Sweetie?” asked Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle, grateful to be in control of her own processing power again, quickly ran a search.

She found nothing.

“NEGATIVE,” she announced.

“What the hay? How does Sweetie Bot know this T.I.M.E. thing exists, but nothing about it? That makes no sense!” cried Scootaloo.

“Unless it does know, but it’s just not telling us,” suggested Babs.

That gave them all pause.

“OK, that’s a disturbin’ thought. Still, searchin’ for A.P.P. got us this far. Maybe we can try searchin’ for this time guy?” suggested Apple Bloom.

“Well, it’s worth a shot at least,” added Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle agreed. Her metal rod thing slipped back into her ear as her radar reemerged.

“BEGINNING SCAN FOR: LOCAL T.I.M.E OPERATIVE,” she announced.

SCANNING…

SCANNING…

“SCAN COMPLETE,” declared Sweetie Bot.

“That was fast,” mumbled Scootaloo.

“RESULTS: 1 T.I.M.E OPERATIVE LOCATED,” reported Sweetie Bot.

…

“WHAT?!” cried three of the fillies.

Sweetie Belle, on the other hoof, was too busy staring at the information in front of her. According to the data, The T.I.M.E. Operative was in Ponyville. What’s more, she recognized the address, and who lived there.

Knock! Knock!

“Are ya sure he’s here? Ah thought ya said he was a clockmaker, and I’m pretty sure Ah saw a clock shop a few blocks back,” said Babs.

“Hey, you said it yourself how weird ponies are in this town. Is it really so crazy to believe that there’s a pony who only opens his store when he knows he’s about to have a customer?” argued Scootaloo.

“Yes, actually. How the hay does he make a livin’ if he’s...” started Babs but she stopped when the front door opened.

“Oh! Well isn’t this an unexpected surprise. Hello, girls. Can I help you with anything?” asked Dr. Whooves.

Dr. Whooves had always been a friendly stallion, but if he was hiding something, this could get scary. Nevertheless, Sweetie Belle took a deep breath and stepped forward.

“Well, yes, actually. Does T.I.M.E. mean anything to you?” she asked.

Dr. Whooves chuckled.

“Well, I should hope so! I am a clockmaker after all. It’d be quiet embarrassing if I made clocks and didn’t know a thing or two about time, wouldn’t it? And please don’t bother asking about that certain science fiction series. I know I resemble the main character, but I can assure you that I am not a time traveler,” said Dr. Whooves with a smile.

“I meant the acronym,” corrected Sweetie Belle.

Dr. Whooves blinked.

“Pardon me, but… oh my, is it that time already?” he asked with a confused expression.

The crusaders and Babs shared an awkward look, unsure how to respond, but then Dr. Whooves shook his head.

“Oh, of course it is. You wouldn’t have known about T.I.M.E otherwise. Come in, come in. I suspect we have an important conversation to start,” said Dr. Whooves as he turned and headed inside.

The fillies shared another uncertain look.

“Well, it would be rude to turn down an invitation…” said Apple Bloom.

“Into the house of a guy who might be part of some big secret conspiracy?” added Babs.

“Hey!” objected Scootaloo.

“Ah said conspiracy, not civilization,” countered Babs.

“Well, it is Dr. Whooves. If anypony in town was part of some crazy conspiracy…” said Apple Bloom.

“It’d probably be Lyra,” said Sweetie Belle.

There were some giggles at that, and it pushed away their fears enough for them to step inside.

“So, T.I.M.E.. How much you already know about it?” asked Dr. Whooves as he sat down with a few cups of tea.

Dr. Whooves’ living room was fairly unremarkable. This was, by itself, surprising considering the state of the rest of his house. Dr. Whooves might have been a clock maker, but most of his free time was spent doing SCIENCE, which tended to spread into every other room in the building. Today’s flavor of SCIENCE was a strange sticky blue slime.

“Gak!” cried Apple Bloom as she realized she had stepped on some of it, which she quickly wiped off with a napkin.

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes and turned back towards Dr. Whooves.

“Well, to be honest, not much. All we know is that it exists, you have something to do with it, and that it’s connected to… something else we’re trying to learn about,” said Sweetie Belle as she took a cup.

“That’s about typical, to be honest. Most ponies, and non-ponies, who contact me about it rarely know more than that. And I’m afraid my understanding is rather limited as well,” admitted Dr. Whooves as his sipped his tea.

“But, aren’t you an agent of this… whatever it is?” asked Scootaloo.

“Well, technically, I suppose I am. I’m not sure why, but my family has had a long history with T.I.M.E. for as far back up the family tree as I could trace. As soon as I was old enough, my father passed the responsibilities of T.I.M.E. upon me, just as his father had passed them onto him. I know what my role in the organization is, but little more,” explained Dr. Whooves.

“So T.I.M.E. is an organization?” asked Apple Bloom.

Dr. Whooves nodded.

“Yes, but I’m afraid the only thing about the organization itself I can tell you what the acronym is. It stands for Temporal Investigations, Maintenance, and Exploration,” said Dr. Whooves.

Sweetie Belle felt her robotic heart leap in her chest. This could be a vital clue.

“Temporal? As in time related? Then this really does involve time travel?” asked Sweetie Belle in an excited tone.

“Well, I can’t say either way. As I said, I’m not a time traveler myself. For all I know it’s just a fancy way of saying that they’ve been around for a very long time. You know how these big underground groups can get. Always so eager to use flashy names even if they’re trying to stay out of the public’s eye,” said Dr. Whooves with a chuckle.

Sweetie Belle let out a mumble of disappointment, hidden behind a sip of her tea.

“Right. So, what exactly is your role with these guys?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Dr. Whooves got up and walked over to a nearby cabinet while answering.

“To be quiet blunt, I am simply an off-the-record delivery pony. I get letters and packages in the mail from T.I.M.E., and then a few days later whoever they're addressed to arrives at my door. I pass it on to them, and get a payment in the mail the next day. I always personally thought it a bit redundant to send letters in the mail for someone else to deliver, but I suppose that’s just how it is with these secret society things,” replied Dr. Whooves as he opened the cabinet and started digging.

The girls shared another uncomfortable look.

“Before you say it, yes, I have considered the possibility that I am unwittingly helping some criminal organization or something to that effect. I took the matter to the Princess herself, and she assured me that while she is not directly involved with T.I.M.E., she is aware of it and is convinced that its goals are benevolent. With that reassurance, I’ve since taken my duties responsibly. And I really can’t complain. The extra bits have always been crucial for my experiments and... Ah ha! There you are!” said Dr. Whooves as he pulled an envelope out of the cabinet.

The fillies let out sighs of relief as Dr. Whooves made his way to Sweetie Belle.

“So, without further ado, I believe this is what you are here for. I was surprised to see you today because I only received this letter in the mail this morning,” said Dr. Whooves as he offered Sweetie Belle the envelope.

Sweetie Belle took it. Sure enough, there was her name on the front: SWEETIE BELLE, in large unnaturally straight letters. There was no return address, and where there should have been stamps there was instead simply T.I.M.E. in the same weird font as her name.

“Now, I don’t know what’s inside that, and part of the arrangement is that I am not supposed to see you open it either. I understand you girls are likely eager to open it right away, so I shall simply step outside for a moment. Feel free to let me know when you’re done,” said Dr. Whooves as he turned and left.

Sweetie Belle stared at the envelope. This was it. It wasn’t just some random fact that was dug up out of her robot brain. This was clear, tangible proof that whatever the deal was with her being a robot, there were answers somewhere, just waiting for her to find them. And this might very well be the thing that tells her where...

“Sweetie Belle?” asked Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle jumped. She realized that her thoughts had begun to drift. She also noticed that her hooves were shaking.

“Look, if you’re scared, we can just go home, and let your sister look at it first. There’s no hurry. It’s been months since we started looking for answers. A few more hours or even days won’t make that big a difference,” reassured Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle took a deep breath and let it out.

“Well, Rarity is in Canterlot on a business trip, and I really do want to know what’s in here but…” She started to say but then trailed off.

“Ah think Ah understand how ya feel, Sweetie Belle,” said Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle looked at her friend in surprise.

“Ah remember when Ah first started learnin’ about ghouls. Ah was terrified of even opening the books because Ah didn’t want to learn that Ah’d become some kind of pony-eatin’ monster. It seems kind of silly lookin’ back, but Ah know how scary it is to hold somethin’ in your hooves that might tell ya somethin’ ya wish ya never knew, but ya still need to learn about all the same,” explained Apple Bloom in a reassuring tone.

Sweetie Belle nodded. She realized that her undead friend knew what she was going through all too well. And look at Apple Bloom now. She had become downright comfortable with what she was in the past few days. Sweetie Belle wanted to be like that. And the only way she could get there was going forward.

Her mind made up, Sweetie Belle opened the envelope.

Follow this map when you are ready for the truth. You will find the answers you seek.

-T.I.M.E.

P.S. Yes, right now is perfectly fine. I’m just saying there’s no hurry. Honestly, I’ll never understand why we have to send such cryptic letters. The map’s right there! It’s not like keeping things vague makes it less likely someone stumbling upon this letter will try and follow it! The mystery will only make them more curious! Whatever. Just come and see us when you’re up for it, Miss Belle. And if it’s someone else reading this, kindly buck off. There’s no treasure waiting for you at the X.

Sweetie Belle looked at her friends with a raised eyebrow after she finished reading it out loud.

“Well… I guess T.I.M.E. doesn’t bother checking their letters before sending them…” she mumbled.

“Yeah… someone’s probably goin’ tah get fired for that,” added Babs.

Shaking her head, Sweetie Belle turned the letter over to look at the map on the other side. There was a long red line leading to somewhere, but it was of a smaller scale than Sweetie Belle had expected. In fact, the X marking where to go was barely half an hour trot out of town.

Sweetie Belle looked up at her friends.

“Well, I don’t know about you girls, but I’m definitely following this map,” she announced.

After a quick stop home, of course. She wasn’t about to recklessly journey into what might be an alien civilization or secret cult unsupervised without taking necessary precautions.

She’d put a note on the fridge telling Rarity where they were going first, and then they could head out. After all, one can never be too careful.

“Are you sure you want to come with us, Babs? We might be getting into something really weird or dangerous,” asked Sweetie Belle as they made their way to the edge of town.

“Of course Ah’m sure. If ya needed me to spot what got us this far, then Ah’m definitely supposed to be a part of this. The way Ah see, Ah’m less likely to get inta trouble if Ah play along with whoever’s behind all this than go against them, especially if the Princess thinks they're an alright bunch. Besides, Ah’m from Manehattan. Ah can handle a little adventure and rough stuff,” replied Babs.

“Good point. Though now that you mention it, if the Princess knew about T.I.M.E., why didn’t she say anything to us when we asked her if she knew anything about me?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“She probably just thought they weren’t connected. I bet she’s got a ton of secret groups to keep track of and…” Scootaloo started to say but trailed off.

She’d noticed a very unwelcome pair of fillies coming towards them. The CMC made nervous glances at Babs, but surprisingly Babs didn’t seem worried.

“Don’t worry, Ah’ve learned a thing or two about bullies these last few months. Ah know how to handle these kinds of ponies now,” said Babs with a reassuring smile.

“Well, look who’s in town again. Your mom still not want to bother with a lost cause like you?” teased Diamond Tiara as she reached them.

“Nope. She figured that after that last fight Ah got into at school, Ah should go somewhere were ponies don’t bully me,” said Babs with a glare.

Diamond Tiara took a step back in shock. Everypony else’s jaw dropped, including Silver Spoon’s.

“Yep. Ah took some fightin’ lessons since the last time Ah was in town. Ah didn’t mean to put that colt in the hospital for callin’ me a loser, but let me tell ya, that punk got what was comin’ to him,” said Babs.

Everypony around Babs could only look at her in disbelief.

“What? Are… are you threatening me?!” demanded Diamond Tiara.

“Depends. Are ya callin’ me a loser?” challenged Babs as she leaned in close to Diamond Tiara.

Diamond Tiara rapidly shook her head. Babs waited a moment, then backed away with a nod.

“Good. Ah’d hate tah do somethin’ horrible like that again,” said Babs as she turned and walked away.

Her friends and cousin could only stare in awe. Where the hay had that confidence come from?

Diamond Tiara shook her head before she turned back towards the other fillies.

“Well, I guess that pony finally started acting like the city filly she is. Now you three on the other hoof...” she started to say.

This snapped the three of them out of their stunned silence, and they responded by simply turning away from Diamond Tiara and going after Babs.

“Hey! Where do you think you're going?!” Diamond Tiara angrly snapped.

The CMC ignored her.

“Stop it! Stop ignoring me! Get back here and let me finish mocking you!” demanded Diamond.

The girls caught up with Babs, and the four of them started making their way into the woods.

“GRRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!” Diamond screamed in frustration before angrily stomping the ground and walking off.

Silver Spoon just looked around awkwardly before following after her friend.

“Uh, Babs? Did ya actually…” started Apple Bloom.

“Nah, that was a load of horse apples. But Ah found out that most bullies tend to back down when they think you’re tougher than them. Ain’t it amazin’ what somepony’ll believe if ya use the right tone and glare at ‘em enough?” asked Babs with a smirk.

She got three grins in response.

“Well, this is it, girls,” said Sweetie Belle as she looked up from the map.

The X had lead them to this: a small and thankfully empty bear cave in the middle of the woods. It was unremarkable, but then again that was kind of the point, right?

“Ya nervous, Sweetie?” asked Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle let out a sigh.

“Yeah. I’m nervous. Really nervous. But… I have to know. I have to know what I am, and why. And the only way I’m going to find out is by taking a deep breath and moving forward,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Good attitude. Now let’s go get some answers,” said Scootaloo as she took the lead and trotted into the cave.

There was nothing inside.

“Well, of course they wouldn’t leave the entrance to some secret place in plain sight. Check the walls. There’s probably some kind of button or switch or something’,” said Babs as she started knocking on the cave wall.

Everypony else quickly joined her.

Knock, Knock.

Knock, Knock.

Click.

Sweetie Belle jumped back in surprise as a small rectangle of the cave wall rotated, revealing a glowing blue square just large enough to put a hoof against.

“I uh… think I found it,” said Sweetie Belle.

Her friends quickly joined her. It was surreal to see something so futuristic looking, especially in a cave in the middle of nowhere.

“Is that a hoof reader?” asked Scootaloo.

“I think so. It’s looks like it came right out of Star Trot or somethin’,” answered Babs.

Sweetie Belle gulped, then raised a shaking hoof up to the blue square. The moment she touched it, a large line of light quickly flowed down the square.

“HOOFPRINT IDENTIFIED. WELCOME, SWEETIE BELLE,” said a mechanical voice from the square.

There was a loud hiss, and then a large section of the cave wall slid down, revealing a small hidden tunnel with walls made of flat metal. A bright blue glow flowed into the cave from within.

The fillies could only stare in awe.

“Well… uh... Ah guess this is a sign that the whole thing ain’t just a prank. We’re really dealing with… something else,” commented Apple Bloom.

“Ah think you’re right, Apple Bloom. It’s almost like we’re going to run into a robot or something,” snarked Scootaloo.

“Oh, right,” admitted Apple Bloom with a blush.

Still, the tension had been broken. Determined not to lose her nerve entirely, Sweetie Belle shook her head and then made her way into the tunnel.

She found the source of the light very quickly: a small glowing blue cube sitting on a pedestal. She also found that the cube was the only thing in the tunnel. It just ended in a small room big enough for all four of them to squeeze into.

Squeeze they did, then they waited for something to happen. But no second door opened, nopony appeared to greet them, and no time travel or anything else unusual occurred.

“Uh… we didn’t come all this way for a just glowin’ ice cube, right? Ah was just jokin’ about the whole Take Ice Machines Everywhere thing,” said Apple Bloom.

“Maybe this thing’s got something inside it?” suggested Scootaloo.

“Probably, Ah just hope it ain’t another map,” added Babs.

Sweetie Belle nodded in agreement.

“Yeah. I think this has been stupidly complicated already. There’s got to be something important right here,” said Sweetie Belle as she reached out and touched the cube.

There was a loud beep, then the cube split apart. It didn’t open up, rather the sides drifted apart and floated in midair, revealing a glowing ball of energy in its center.

“M.O.R.P.H. ACTIVATED,” announced the cube in a monotone voice.

“Uh, What?” asked Sweetie Belle.

What the hay was this?

“CALIBRATIONS COMPLETE. ALL REGISTERED PARTICIPANTS DETECTED. INITIALIZING PROCESS. HAVE A PLEASANT SUSPENSION,” declared the cube.

“Suspension? What does…” started Babs.

Then the cube unleashed a wave of green magical energy that encased the four fillies.

Sweetie Belle’s vision began to blur. Her body suddenly felt like it was made of water. Her thoughts started to slip and spin as her eyelids started growing heavy.

“Wa…” she managed to moan, but her ears barely registered it.

She dimly noticed that she seemed to be floating.

But I’m not... a bird pony... I can’t float… But... maybe I’m... a boat? She thought as her mind slipped further and further.

She was getting so tired...

Funny, that blue thingy seemed to be getting closer…

With a loud whooshing sound, the magic field pulled back into the glowing sphere of energy, pulling the fillies in with it. Their bodies stretched and thinned as if they were mere wisps of smoke being sucked into a vacuum, somehow being pulled into the tiny sphere. Once they were fully inside, the cube walls closed back down upon it, and the whole thing stopped glowing.

With a hiss, the wall behind the tunnel slid shut, leaving no evidence that this place was anything other than a normal cave.

100 years later…

A squirrel hopped into the cave, sniffing for food.

It couldn’t smell anything, so it turned around and left.

And nothing else of of significance occurred.

900 years later…

Sweetie Belle woke up. Funny, she couldn’t remember falling asleep. What had she been doing again?

She had been in a cave, looking for something right?

But, didn’t she find something?

Something… blue and…

Sweetie Belle suddenly realized that she couldn’t feel her body.

What the hay just happened?! She exclaimed, only she had no mouth.

That was unfortunate, as she really needed to scream at that moment.

Did that cube thing suck us up?! Into that tiny thing?! Why would it do that?! She thought with rapidly rising panic.

Suddenly, there was a loud beep, followed by a tugging sensation that seemed to be pulling Sweetie Belle backwards. A moment later, her senses returned, showing her and her friends spiraling out of a familiar sphere of energy before they found themselves floating in a green energy field, completely back to normal.

“SUSPENSION PROCESS COMPLETE,” declared the cube.

The energy flowed back into the sphere, dropping the fillies onto the floor. The cube quickly closed once again.

“THANK YOU FOR USING THIS PRODUCT FROM ANDLE LIGHT INC. YOU HAVE BEEN IN SUSPENSION FOR 1000 YEARS. IF THIS IS NOT THE CORRECT TIME FRAME, YOU ARE ENCOURAGED TO SEEK YOUR LOCAL T.I.M.E. FACILITY FOR ASSISTANCE. ANDLE LIGHT INC. IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CREATION OF THIS M.O.R.P.H. DEVICE. IN THE EVENT OF A MALFUNCTION, PLEASE DIRECT ALL LAWSUITS TO WHY EERK INDUSTRIES. HAVE A PLEASANT DAY,” said the cube before going silent.

The four fillies sat still for several minutes, struggling to understand what had just happened.

“Did… did that thing say a thousand years?” asked Babs

“In suspension... for a thousand years. So… that means…” stuttered Apple Bloom.

“We’re… a thousand years in the future?” finished Scootaloo.

The four of them just sat there in shocked silence, unable to comprehend how something so drastic could have happened so fast. One minute they’re looking for some secret society and then… whatever the hay that had been. Panic began to rise up in all four of them. They started looking around, desperate for something they could focus on.

Suddenly, there was loud a hiss.

“Ahhh!!” The fillies cried as they pulled themselves together in a tight grip.

The wall they had entered the secret room from a thousand years ago opened up, and a stallion walked in.

“Ah ha! Right on time! Hello girls. Not too disoriented from your trip, I hope?” asked the stallion.

The fillies just stared at him in shock. The brown coat and mane, the hourglass cutie mark on his flanks and the saddlebags he was wearing, even the bowtie were an exact match.

“Dr. Whooves?” asked Sweetie Belle in disbelief.

The stallion laughed, then shook his head.

“Not quite. Dr. Whooves was my distant ancestor. My name is Dr. Brown. I am an agent of T.I.M.E., and I’m here to welcome you four to the future,” declared Dr. Brown.

The four of them continued to stare. This was the cherry on top of the weirdness that was currently overwhelming them, and it was just too much for the fillies. They just froze, still holding each other tight, unable to process what the hay was happening.

“Ah, still recovering from your first trip in magic suspension are we? Nothing to worry about, it’s perfectly natural. Being turned into energy and squeezed into a small space is rarely pleasant, and M.O.R.P.H.’s aren’t exactly designed for regular use. That reminds me,” said Dr. Brown as he plucked the cube off the pedestal and put it in his saddlebag.

Despite how slow her mind was working at the moment, Sweetie Belle found the strength to press for more information.

“M… M.O.R.P.H.?” she asked.

“Multiple Operative Rudimentary Preservation Hexagon. An advanced magic suspension device designed to enable several ponies to safely pass a large amount of time in a relative instant. Not the most pleasant or safest method of traveling to the future, but relatively affordable and easy to hide in a cave a thousand years in the past,” explained Dr. Brown.

“But it’s a cube, not a hexagon,” Sweetie Belle corrected instinctively.

“Yes, but the M.O.R.P.C. was invented first, and even a thousand years into your future, lawyers still refuse to play nice,” said Dr. Brown with a chuckle.

The fillies could only continue to stare.

“I understand you’re all still a little overwhelmed, but don’t worry. This wasn’t a one way trip. After we’re done here, we’ll arrange for you all to go back to your own time. I apologize that we had to go to such lengths for a simple explanation, but time travel is always a fickle business even at the best of times. And this particular scenario is hardly the best of times,” explained Dr. Brown.

The knowledge that they would be able to go home finally snapped the fillies out of their stupor. Unfortunately, this developed right into anger.

“This scenario? An explanation? What the hay is going on!?” demanded Scootaloo.

“Yeah! Why the hay couldn’t you just send what you wanted to say in the mail?” challenged Babs.

Dr. Brown raised a hoof, asked them to quiet down.

“I told you, time travel is complicated. We can only be so accurate when we send things to the past. It’s why we send our letters to our ancestors to deliver instead of to where they’re intended to go. It helps prevent time paradoxes and, let me tell you, the last thing we want to do is cause one. As for why we went through the trouble of bringing you here, it’s rather simple. You’re here to learn the truth about her,” said Dr. Brown as he pointed towards Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie Belle blinked in surprise.

“You… you brought us a thousand years into the future to tell us why I’m a robot?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Even better. We brought you a thousand years into the future to see it happen for yourself,” announced Dr. Brown.

To Be Continued...

Author's Note

*Plays Roundabout*

Well, I did say this could be a two-parter. I just hope that after almost two and a half years of buildup, the revelation doesn't disappoint.

By the way, after said two and a half years, no one has been able to guess what M.P.S. stands for.

But one lucky guy nailed A.P.P.