Diamond Days

by Rarity Is Mah Favorite

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 2009

Regular days for Diamond Tiara

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-16 04:05:14 UTC

A regular day for me

I wake up and force myself out of bed. Why? I always get terrible bed head. It's 7:00. Why didn't anyone wake me up! They know I'm incapable of waking up on my own!

"SILVER! WHY DIDNT YOU WAKE ME UP?!" I yelled.

"Because. I had to leave earlier. Stupid CMC had me paint backgrounds." Silver spoon grumbled.

"Whatever. I need you to comb my hair." I say.

"Get Gandolph to do it." Silver mumbles.

"His name is Randolph." I deadpan.

"He told me to call him that. He loves The Hobbit. And Lord Of The Rings."

"Gandolph isn't in Lord Of The Rings. I think." I stated.

"Be quiet, DT." Silver says. "I have a raging headache. Stupid CMC. They made me listen to them sing."

"Okay, so....... You feel like the time you drank champagne." I say.

Silver throws up her hands. "Exactly like that."

"My bacon's cold." I say. I love complaining.

"My juice is warm." Silver says.

"My pancake's runny," I say.

"My sausage is undercooked." Silver pokes her sausage.

"Where's my toast? You put it in ten seconds ago." I say.

"Where's my silver spoon?" Silver looks at her solid gold silverware.

"Where's my phone? Don't tell me you cooked it!" I exclaim.

"Where's my special book of insults?" Silver says.

"Where's my book of insults on the CMC?" I say.

"Why are you complaining?" Mocks Layla, our guidance counselor and babysitter.

"Making my downtown, saw my notice, walk by farmland, I'm there now." I sing as I am walking to the CMC's clubhouse.

"Hey, Diamond Tiara!" Apple Bloom greeted. I wave back.

"Aren't you hot?" I ask. "It's smack dab in the middle of summer. It's like........... Silver, what temperature is it?"

"99 degrees." She says.

"It's like 99 degrees!" I exclaim. "Why are you wearing pants?"

"I don't know why they are." Sweetie Belle says. She actually had a brain and wore a sundress. I, unlike her was wearing a pink spaghetti-strap top with a diamond tiara on it and denim shorts.

"Whatever. Are we gonna pick our poison or what?" I say.

"Hey," starts Scootaloo. "we should be poison testers!" She smiles. Smiles like she wants to murder us all.

"NO!" We all yell. "DO YOU WANT TO KILL US ALL?!"

"Let's just try to make marshmallows." Sweetie says. She wants to make marshmallows. She's already a marshmallow.

"This actually went pretty well," Silver says.

"Our marshmallows are pretty normal besides th' fact that they automatically turn golden if ya even breathe on em." Apple Bloom said.

"Well, I've spent enough time nearly committing suicide. Bye!" I turn and walk away.

Hold on, me. We have to go through this a hundred more times in activities that is.

It's raining, it's pouring, DT wanted to be snoring!

"Why is it raining?" Sweetie Belle asked, sort of annoyed.

"Ah dunno." Apple Bloom replied.

"I have an extra Joyboy!" Button exclaimed. He raised his right hand high, showing the gaming devise.

"Uh-oh," Silver said, a waver of uncertainty in her voice.

Everyone tackled Button. I, unable to resist, began to record the scene. Sweetie tackled him first, grabbing his wrist and putting herself on the bottom. Apple Wars Episode V: The Apple Strikes Back! Apple Bloom put herself on top of the pile. Scootaloo made a 'Why the heck not' expression and joined.

"Why can't we just go to the Gaming Room?" I suggest. The group looks at me. Sweetie's left eye began to twitch.

"Diamond Tiara Lilac..... You had a Gaming Room!" She yelled. "We could've just went there in the first place! Who does that?! I know, You!"

"Sorry Masher and The Belle." I said, slipping a small smile. All of the color drained from the two's faces.

"How?" Button said, astonished.

"Ad-ada...... Gah," Sweetie just decided to fall on the floor. Button followed.

"You aren't gonna tell 'em, right?" Scootaloo asked.

"Cross my heart, wish to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." I Pinkie Promise. It's the most legit promise.

Two hours of gaming straight. Two freakin' hours. I'm exausted. I flop down on my super soft bed. I close my eyes, waiting for sweet, sweet sleep. It would've came, if everyone wasn't singing.

"Hey Diamond Tiara, you want a turn?" Sweetie asked.

"Yes." I clear my throat. "It's raining, it's pouring, DT wanted to be snoring, Button Mash really sucks, and so does his girlfriend! It's raining, it's pouring, DT wanted to be snoring, Apple Bloom raises chickens, which includes Scootaloo! There. I sang." I give Sweetie a face that Nicholas Cage would be so happy of. "I'm sleeping now! Don't make me kick you out and into the rain."

I drift off to sleep. Sweet, sweet sleep.

"DT, wake up," Silver cooed.

"Yes, Silver?" I ask, annoyed.

"It's Eight." She says.

"Why didn't you wake me up before?!" I exclaim.

"We couldn't see you under everybody. They were piled on top of you!" She giggled.

"I HATE YOU ALL!" I yell, and bury my face in my pillow.

Wet hair and wet Diamonds

"Let's have a water fight," Rumble started, "I wanna soak someone! I mean, what else can we do? It's like 100 degrees!"

"It's 98." Scootaloo said.

"Rarity told me it was a million!" Sweetie added.

"Ah was told it was 99." Apple Bloom said.

"Why the frick does it matter! It's 98 degrees, so STOP DISSCUSSING THE WEATHER! I. Mean. It." I growl. "Just..... Just get on your swimsuits."

Everyone's equipped with a water weapon of some sort. Except Silver. She gets to squirt the losers after the game is done. Oh, Silver can grab the hose and spray you to next Monday.

"Alright," Silver begins. "We have two teams. It is mandatory to have one guy on the team. We have Team Girly, consisting of Button 'High Score' Mash, Sweetie 'The Belle' Belle, and Diamond 'The Shine' Tiara! On the other team, Team Tomboy, we have Rumble 'The Storm' What'sHisLastName, Scootaloo 'Awesome' What'sHerLastName, and Apple Bloom 'The Bloomer' Apple!"

"But Ah wanna be with Sweetie!" Apple Bloom complains.

"Be glad if you want to lose Scootaloo and possibly have to switch teams," I say.

"Whatever, Diamond Tiara."

"Oh, you need to be shot with water twelve times in order to be out! On the count of three, you begin. One, Two, THREE!" Silver yells.

I take off, focusing on Rumble while Button tries Scootaloo and Sweetie tries Apple Bloom.

"Huddle, Team! Silver, is there a rule about team huddles?" I ask.

"IF A TEAM HUDDLES, THEY CANNOT BE SHOT AT!" She yells from her high watchtower.

"Okay," I begin as my team huddles. "I'm gonna get The Storm out. It'll make Awesome mad. The Bloomer'll try to get one of us out, so who wants to go on The Bloom?" I ask. Sweetie nods.

"I'll do it. I know more about her battle tactics. The Belle is on it!" Her whisper-yells.

"Alright. Button and I will take Awesome down. She'll fight us like a manticore in the Everfree, though."

"I agree." Button agrees.

"WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIENDS!" Button yells as he ambushes Scootaloo.

"YOU'RE GONNA GET SPRAYED TO NEXT MONDAY! AND IT'S TUESDAY!" I yell.

"NOT IF I CAN HELP IT! I'LL ADVENGE RUMBLE!" Scootaloo yells back. Oh, I forgot to say, I got Rumble out.

"AH'LL GET TH' SHINE OUT! YOU GET BUTTON!" The Bloomer yelled to her teammate.

Splash! "You hit me. You....... You hit me!" I yell. "SPRAY 'ER TILL HER NEXT BIRTHDAY! I DON'T CARE WHO GETS HER OUT, BUT I WANT THE APPLE OUT! I AM FULLY AWARE OF HER NICKNAME, I JUST HATE LOSING!"

"I'M OUT, DT!" Button yells. Once he's close enough, I whisper in his ear.

"They forgot The Belle. I know she's behind our foes. We'll wait for her attack." I whisper.

"WE WON! SILVER SPOON, SPRAY 'EM TILL NEXT MEMORIAL DAY!" Scootaloo yelled.

"AHHHHH!" Sweetie yelled. She sprayed Apple Bloom with one of her water pistols, and Scootaloo with the other.

"TEAM GIRLY FOR THE WIN!!!" Sweetie Belle yelled.

"Are you ready......... FOR SPRAYINGS!" Silver yelled. Boy, watching people be power-washed into a wall is fun.

"Hey! The chicken's washed and ready to be cooked!" Button joked. Scootaloo gave an unamused expression. She grabbed the hose and turned it to the most powerful setting.

"YOUR GONNA REGRET THAT BUTTON! I WILL SPRAY YOU TILL NEXT CHRISTMAS!............ Bitch." Scootaloo yelled. Then, I can't see.

"AHHHHHHH! STOP IT! I CAN'T SEE! I'M BLIND! STOP IT! RIGHT NOW SCOOTALOO! I'LL TELL MY DADDY!" I scream.

"Wow," Scootaloo whispers into Rumble's ear. I'm really glad she let us see. "It's fun watching people being power washed into walls."

"I will kill you Button Mash," I mutter under my breath.

I kept my promise

"All rise," Judge Sombra ordered. "We are here today to examine the case of Rich and Tap. Mrs. Love Tap claims that Miss Diamond Tiara attempted murder on her twelve year old son; Button Mash. Miss Tap, please say your opening statement."

"Well, Your Honor, I was out shopping for groceries when I spotted my Button laying on the pavement, with a pool of blood around him. I have photo evidence. As you can see," She said. I blew a raspberry at her.

"So.... From what I see, Button was punched repeatedly, possibly stabbed, and had some broken bones. Very serious. Please continue your testimony." Judge Sombra said.

"Yes, Your Honor. Button's girlfriend of three years was talking to him, making sure he was responsive. She told me that she called the ambulance, and that they would be there shortly." Love Tap said.

"Alright, Miss Rich, please say your testimony."

"Alright, loser. I would like to start about one week before this happened." I say.

"Very well."

"Alright, due to Parole officer saying so, I had to spend time with Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Rumble, Scootaloo, Silver Spoon, and our victim, Button Mash. We were having a water fight, and Mister Mash said, and I quote, 'The chicken got washed so it can get cooked!' That statement got my team power washed into a wall, made me a bit blind, and got me sick. Here are some of my doctor reports." I hand over my papers. That little mom-of-a-socially-awkward-kid is going down.

"You were in the hospital for five days, correct?"

"Yes your honor. Do I have to call you your honor? That sucks." I say.

"Uh....... I can't answer that question. Continue."

"Alright. If what I was told correct, the attack happened at 2:14 pm. I was at my mansion at that time. Anyway, I about the water fight, I said, 'I will kill you Button Mash' but did not mean it. The weapon was hands and a knife, and I don't use knives. Anywho, I was at the Canterlot Market at the time Miss Belle found Button's body.

"If I were to have done the attacking, I would've done it before the market opened. Which was about five minutes before Sweetie found his body. Silver Spoon was with me the whole time. You see......"

"OBJECTION!" Love Tap yelled.

"WHAT NOW, YOU CRAZY PHYCHO?!" I yell. She grins really big.

"How would you know when the attacking happened if you didn't do it?" She grinned like she caught me.

"Not yet, Love Tap. Not yet," I whisper to her.

I smile coolly. "Easy. I saw how big the pool of blood was, how fast it was growing, rounded the time to the closest it would be. I got 2:14. Happy?" I shot her a 'I Will Get Away With Nearly Killing Your Son' look.

"Time for the Jury verdict. I'm sorry we have no time for witnesses." Sombra announces.

"From the verdict of the Jury, In the case of Tap vs. Rich........... Miss Tiara is voted innocent!" Sombra exclaims.

"I underestimated you, Tiara," Love Tap whispered to me.

"Yes," I agree. "Yes, you did."