My life it's been great.
I'm not going to lie.
Even though I have not got long left on this world, I can look back on my life and find very little to complain about.
I've had a long life, many friends, a vast wealth and business empire.
What more could I want?
What more...
Maybe just one thing, though.
Just one small thing.
I've never had a family to call my own.
My money's going to a good place but still...
Don't get me wrong, I've had plenty of mare-friends. More than I can count, anyway.
But they were just friends.
Mostly opportunists, fake lovers. They wanted my money, my empire, nothing else, relationships never amounting to anything more than a one night stand.
I knew deep down I never loved them.
Except one.
She was different.
We were so alike, yet so different.
I felt like nothing else mattered when she was near. I would give up everything for her!
But already it's too late...
...too late.
I first met her when we were young.
It was back when I was in school, Back in my days at the university of Manehatten.
Oh, how I felt the first time I saw her.
No, it wasn't love. At least, not at first.
But there was a spark, something I've rarely felt.
Her, surrounded by a group of mares, and me: one friend to my name.
I didn't even think I'd see her again, but still I was enchanted by her beauty.
My friend had to put a hoof on my shoulder, to stop me from bumping into anypony.
Back then I had few friends. Really only one...
I never really got along with the other ponies: I wasn't "cool" enough for them, or at least that's what they said.
She wasn't concerned about coolness, or popularity. She was easy going, kind and concerned about no-pony's opinion but her own. She was always in the library always with her group of friends, always surrounded with mares.
I didn't have the courage to just talk to her.
It's...stupid. I know.
I wasn't very confident, so I took my time. But one day I found myself in the library.
I didn't mean to. I just went there because it was raining. Rain isn't an uncommon occurrence in Manehatton.
That's when I saw her again and I decided I wanted, well, needed to get to know her.
She was new to the school and it gave me a good excuse, or at the least something to start a conversation about.
But still, I had to battle my low self-esteem and confidence problems.
In a way, talking to her helped.
I found out that she'd came for far off land, called Ponyland or something like that: I can't really remember. My memory isn't as it used to be.
All I knew was she was perfect.
Her crystal blue eyes which would darken when she was mad.
Her mane, the colour of darkened oak wood. Her coat a light tan.
She always had her mane plated. It sat tidily against her neck.
I didn't care what people said, what they thought...
To me she was perfect.
I pity the pony to argue.
And also because of her I had friends...
Proper friends for the first time in my life.
I've joked that it'd be nice to have friends, but trust me: you don't know until you've experienced being a lonely pony for yourself.
The day I asked her if she wanted to be my mare-friend, she said yes straight away.
I was so nervous that day, but so happy.
I knew it wasn't because of my money. I wasn't rich, though I was stupid. I just wanted to have fun.
That weekend I went away. Where did I go? It can't remember. My memory isn't all it used to be. It was just me and some friends.
I didn't cheat on her: I wouldn't, I couldn't....
But when Monday came around we were back to having lectures all morning.
As I trotted out of the lecture theater, it just so happened I got accused for cheating with another mare over the weekend....
Then she asked, "Is this true?".
But my main regret was not expressing my love...
Never once did I kiss her.
It's stupid, I know but every time I went to nuzzle her, I tried to kiss her... but never did I.
I regret that now. I kick the wall every time I think about it, if I hadn't screwed that up, well... who knows what would have happened?
I couldn't get her out of my head after that.
Like a song but... so much prettier.
I felt like she was who I wanted...
I wrote to Pinkamena Pie, an old friend of mine. The answer was simple: throw a make up party!
Fat chance at that. Somepony like me wouldn't be found within a ten mile radios of a party.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get her back.
Trust me, I tried.
She was so stubborn. (I think her dad must have been a donkey) It felt like I was missing a part of me, my other half...
I don't feel it anymore. It's been so long since I saw her, talked to her.
But soon after that this stallion started hitting on her...
I hated him. You know the sort: athletic, loads of friends, looked like he had been bucked in the face. But she liked him.
I never spoke my mind to her though.
Never.
By Celestia, what I did to stop myself from killing him. I had more pent up rage than Nightmare Moon herself.
But, I'm a gentle colt and wouldn't resort to such violence. (well, not to often).
So it started: They were a couple.
He was her special somepony...
...And I was alone again.
It's lasted for a while, a month, maybe two.
Then he ended it...
Caught cheating on her with another mare.
I wasn't too happy, to put it politely. I was informed by one of the many mares who surrounded her.
When I heard, I shrugged, thought she deserved it.
Expected her to come back...
I waited...
I asked Luna for guidance, studied her night sky in hope of answers...
None came.
I never saw her again.
The years went on, I left Manehatten and moved to Canterlot, set up my business.
I sit here in wonder and in hope that one day.....
I'll run into the mare, who's forever running in my head.
One day...
Maybe one day.
