Hard Court Press

At Canterlot castle Celestia waited for Twilight and the main six the guards opening the gilded doors to the celestial court.

Twilight trotted in followed by four of the main six. Cowpony The Fun Loud one The cute Shy one. . .

Celestia tilted her head as she peeked at the crew minus two she then noticed. . .

Apple Jack had reddened baggy sleep deprived eyes her trot was tired and uneven.

Pinkie Pies more than awkward smile as if she was keeping too many Pinkie promises of less than humble happenings.

If only Rainbows smirk plastered on her muzzle would spill the beans on the whole enchilada covered in hot hot hot sauce.

Fluttershy pranced along in a dream state her wings popping up at random moments a solid blush on her cheeks.

Twilight and Celestia waited . . . "Ahem Twilight where's Spike and Rarity?" Twilight was ready to retreat for a quick search until

finally Rarity strutted into view glowing like Lunas moons soft light, on her back was Spikes worn out husk he was draped over

her cloak like a wet wrung out wash rag with hearts in his eyes and a drunken smile on his snout.

If a changling was within a thousand hooves the overdose would cause his bug head to explode twice
the only noise from the drake was a blissfully steady purr as his tongue was dragged along the crystal floors.

Twilight fumbled with the words announcing "Thank you for seeing us on such a short notice".

With her magic she gave the guards the notes for the investigators Celestia could only stare at the bunch of ponies and drake.

"Splendid - My investigative staff will handle the details" Sun butt just blinked her eyes" I know Spike and the Elemen...Rarity were an item But why are you all well um... So um, Trouble on the train over?"

Twilight coughed "Well it's a long story, We shouldn't bother you with the boring details"

Celestia slyly smiled "Oh that's quite all right - Do tell - Please we all need to unwind after a long evenings journey , Tea?"

So Twilight and the bunch sat down to tea except Spike who continued to wrap around Rarity like an old shawl snuggling her every curve.

oooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooOOOOOOooo

Trains wait for nopony the Princess of friendship had no friends when it came to trains and pushy conductors.

"Twilight my dear" Rarity complained "I just finished my bath and now you're having us take a train to see Princess Celestia what in Manehatten is going on?"

"It must be from the notes from those pesky reporters had on us" Spike huffed as he lugged the baggage "Isn't that right Twilight?"

Apple Jack and Rainbow looked over their withers behind and over the anonymous crowds along the platform, the only strange pony they saw was Pinkie at the concession stand buying a few papers and munchies for the trip, bits flew and hooves flashed as she hurried to get on the train behind the others.

The train lurched along the tracks bellowing steam kicking up dust over the ties and rails its pony cargo swaying and bumping along.

"Tickets" the conductor wailed "Show your tickets" his eyes were coldly scanning the passengers under his sweat stained cap.

The group held out their tickets one by one the conductor clipped the coupons edge "your Highness" he spoke coldly.

"Why thank you" Twilight said with a smile her eyes sparkling like the reflection of the so many lanterns lighting the passenger car.

"Your Highness you are sitting in the wrong seat" the conductor pointed at a splintered stool in the corner.

"Your Highness you may rule whatever or whoever you do in that crystal castle of yours but on this train your purple butt goes where your ticket has on it and it says ECONOMY CLASS!"

Twilights ears lowered and her wings drooped "Yes- Mister conductor. . ."

The bunch just looked in collective shock as the Princess mopped shyly to her stool in the corner picking off some splinters before sitting.

Rarity seeing the mockery of royalty came to the rescue batting her eyes at the conductor she said with a flirting smile

"Sir I can't help to notice how well you carry out your avocation and if I could submit if I might that her Highness is accustomed to more
stylish accommodations. . ."

The conductor cut her off "Lady you're lucky I didn't charge you for that pet DRAGON" he looked again at her ticket and clipped it twice
BUSINESS CLASS you're allowed a SET of BAGS now sit DOWN!"

Rainbow couldn't stand it anymore she burst out laughing holding her sides rolling in her seat tears flowing across her face.

Rarity huffed and turned away from the "Irritating little MULE!" as Spike counted the bags laying around their seat.

The conductor clipped his way down the isle and out the rear door with a loud slam. The snickering and giggles died down as the train climbed the tracks chugging along through the mountains.

Pinkie pulled out her newspapers and snacks getting comfortable munching away she rolled the tabloids to the big
news of the day in ponyville - Equestria and beyond.

"The Daily Hay Bucket" She read out loud "What Princess of Friendship in Equestria is carrying someponys illegitimate foal? page two".

"Big Mac of Ponyvilles own Sweet Apple Acres abducted by aliens for probing and other intergalactic experiments Page seven".

"Dangerous dragon seen attacking family pick nick chasing foals and leaving smoke trails and blood - Story pending conformation".

"The battles of the NOT so Elements of Harmony and the front page Raritys secret what new fashion secret is she hiding under her hats and cloaks the fashion world is waiting to see!"

Twilight looked in disgust at Pinkie "Don't you think those papers distort the facts just to sell more papers?"

Pinkie smiled putting on her editors cap and ruffled sleeve protectors "No news that's fit to print I'm just puzzled a bit".

"So Spikey's Raritys fashion secret and Big Macs stuff makes you an alien but you don't look like one but you do experiments
and did you and Flashy do the deed cause you sure hide it well or will Raritys foal get a play date with your foal or is Fluttershy
and Big Mac having foals so you three can have a combined foal shower?"

AJ gazed over to Pinkie and her papers "My big brother probed, now who in tarnation came up with that dumb idea? Twilight?"
her muzzle scrunched up till she burst out laughing.

Rainbow giggled "I'm sure glad I'm not in the papers like you guys" she eyed the odd couple and Twilight saying with a wink
"Totally not cool".

Twilight moved back with the others from her economy class stool " Everypony we got to keep everything QT, With all the newspaper trouble and the paparazzi we need to be more careful".

She reached into the under seat bin for a small box opening it she held out a batch of chains with multicolored gems affixed to golden rings
Spikes eyes grew wide and his mouth watered.

"No Spike you can't eat them there enchanted with the spell of shadows an invisibility spell put it on and tap once to vanish and again to reappear can't be simpler than that. . ."

TAP ON - TAP OFF, TAP ON - TAP OFF , Tap on Tap Off the Tapper!" Pinkie sung the smile on her face said it all, Nopony's home please leave a message at the beep'.

......../)O.O(.........

Rarity looked at the shadow jewelry as Spikey slipped it around her neck and passing one to each of his companions

the train continued chugging along , ponies were zoning out in their seats half asleep and that included the Elements and drake.

The train cars rattled and bumped the door on the far end creaked open and a stallion with a camera poked his body inside and looked off

to the sides scanning for his prize he continued looking for his target , That big scoop or shot of the day.

"Ordinary passengers no Royalty no Elements and no Dragon!" he said in disappointment "must be in another car".

Spike Rarity and the others quietly watched the P.O.ed paparazzi trot past them into the next train car.

Twilight whispered "see it works great and stays effective for hours. A small giggle came from the business class seats .

"shiisssssh"

"STOP that!"

"slurp..."

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha "

"Sheeeesh"

"that tickles!"

If Twilight was visible the whole world would see the blush on her royal muzzle. "Spike! Rarity! STOP that- somepony might hear you!"

"I didn't . . ."

"SLURP!"

Fits of giggles filled the air as the two or more took advantage of the shadow gems . . .

"Squish!"

"Slurp"

"PHriiiiitttt"

The noise was most unflattering the humor wasn't lost to Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie whos laughter and farting was added to the
commotion of the two out of control love birds across the isle.

Even Apple Jack was caught up in the sounds of love and passing gas chuckling quietly to get all.

Twilight was besides herself with her best friends engaged in a dual of obnoxious noises between fits of laughter, she could feel the tears of

humor rolling down her cheeks as she too laughed at the audio show, ponies in the nearby sections of the car started to search for where

the ghosts with the strange laughter was coming from only for it to fade away in the rumble of train wheels on sections of tracks below.

Twilight finished casting her noise control spell and sat stifling her bout of the giggles she looked at the time only four more hours to go Twilight laid back on her economy class stool and dosed off to the muffled noises of her friends still having a few more laughs
and what nots in their state of stealthy-ness.

Ponies exited the train in confusion their belongings switched amongst each other fru fru hats on stallions and
top hats on mares, cufflinks latched to one anothers sleeves horseshoes laces tied together pocket watches exchanged for garters.

Pinkie and Rainbow watched with prankful pride as the befuddled passengers exit to the platform trading belongings to the rightful owners
the two fading into view with a single tap Twilight awoke looking at the business class windows fogged up.

Fluttershy was sitting in a state of blissful shock the look on her face of a mare who heard too much.

Apple Jack sat her eyes bloodshot from the lack of sleep "that sure was a noisy rodeo she rode that little doggy till he couldn't go no more.

"Rainbow Pinkie how was your night?" Twilight asked.

"Couldn't be better!" their smiles really could tell all.

Twilight called for Spike but Rarity answered "He's quite all right dear though I think in his present state I don't think he can answer".

"Darn Rarity what did you do break him?"

"Apple Jack" Rarity cooed "He couldn't be better after all a lady and her drake have their needs".

A loud purr could be heard near her voice, She came into view her fur matted and sweaty her mane all out of shape her lip stick and her eye
shadow smeared every ruffle and wrinkle stained, her cloak a filthy dripping awful mess Rarity saw her reflection in the windows and with a gasp and a tap she faded back into the shadows.

"Oh dear I look like a disgusting monstrosity !"

Pinkie giggled "was that cake frosting?"

Rainbow laughed "Oh look Fluttershy fainted"

Twilight looked at the box that held the Gems of Shadow. . . on the lid were these words

WARNING DO NOT EXPOSE TO DRAGONS, PREGNANT OR LACTATING MARES OR FOALS UNDER THE AGE OF THREE

THIS STATEMENT WAS NOT EVALUATED BY THE EQUESTRIAN MEDICAL ASSOCATION

The FLIM FLAM NOVILTY CO. INC. LLC,