Hard Court Press

From Small Alicorns

Spike had to go right now, his size and his upside down position was no secret to the janitor, the mule did the

only thing for this rare and special occasion "Sorry it looks like your on your own" he closed the door proceeding to hunt for a

much bigger bucket.

"Awe COME ON!" Spike lamented his bladder screaming 'Where's the bed pan?'

A trickle started then it became a stream in a short order that stream then grew into a river a river raging full of magical sparks,

Everything bubbled and boiled in Spikes room he felt the warm tingling of the enchanted liquid his chest burned his body ached

the room grew larger or was it that he was shrinking? Spike was spinning in the soup, A soggy mattress a table a nightstand

spun with the drake he climbed aboard the debris, What wasn't going down the floor drain was pouring out from under the door.

The janitor plugged along back to Spikes door with that bigger delux industrial mop bucket with the fancy hoof operated wringer.

In the bucket he had two yellow foldup safety markers with the black 'FLOOR WET' stenciled on each side with the famous

character falling on it's plot painted in day glow orange in view beneath the words, As placards went it was truly a work of art

surely it was something every janitors closet couldn't be without.

He carefully picked up the markers and placed them at either end of the doorway with enough clearance as to not to get

in the way of a proper mop stroke but far enough away so anypony in the area can avoid the hazards posted.

He looked at the floor liquid pouring out at the cracks around the door. Without a care in the world he reached out and twisted the knob.

The flood was instant the wall of enchanted liquid fizzed and bubbled the janitor was thrown backwards into his bigger delux industrial mop

bucket with the thought that it probably saved him from drowning in dragon pee. Spike floated besides the mule resting on the safety

marker their rides came to a swift end when Twilight froze the whole mess solid.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Spike showered quickly and the ward staff bandaged his chest wounds Twilight listened to his ideas of the

shadow crystals with the attack that caused his size enhancements without the greed and the embarrassment of finding a cure

by going enchanted surfing in dragon pee with the janitor.

"Twilight do I still have to return to the isolation ward?"

"Yes we still don't know if your cured yet".

"But I feel better , Honest".

"Spike they told you the procedures for enchantment contamination".

"But Twi I know I wont cause any problems can I at least have a room next to hers?"

"Spike. . ."

"please please please pleasssssse?"

"I'll see what I can do But don't expect anything ok?"

Spike just smiled at her with a skip and a little hop.

A stallion with a Haywiian shirt trotted into the ward at his side was a unicorn filly, Their eyes lit up as they saw

Rarity eating her hospital rations of congealed oatmeal mashed peas wilted salad greens and lime jello the only thing half edible was the

toast if you had the coffee to wash it down before everything set like concrete.

"Maybe you could get your cutie mark working in hospital nutrition?" he told the filly. He then spoke up.

"Is my baby feeling better?"

"Father!" Rarity beamed but quickly hid her claws under the blankets. "Sweetie Belle".

"We lost your mother when Sweetie had to use the little fillies room".

"You just missed her and her tirade on how I single hoofedlly destroyed her dreams of my finding a prince charming".

"So does he make you happy?"

"Who?"

"You know who".

"Who?"

"Your prince charming that's who".

"Where did you dredge up the idea that I have a colt friend".

"Rarity" Squeaked Sweetie.

"It's not the best kept secret you can tell your own father ya know".

"Father I already went through this with mother".

"Rarity" Sweetie squeaked again.

"Sweetie Belle told me all about Spike , Does he make you happy?"

Rarity squinted and tucked her ears back against her head glaring at her younger sister kicking her hooves into the mattress.

She pulled the pillow from behind her and smothered her face into the puffy gag letting out a muffled squeak.

"Come on Rarity everypony in Ponyville knows how you two feel about each other even dads cool about you two".

"If you're not going to finish your lunch think you can pass it over here?"

" How much do you know about us . . .us "

"Your so called secret?" He dug into the oat meal "I did the same to Cookies parents, her mother had plans too ya know".

"Really father how so?"

"Well she her mom, didn't want me to see Cookie anymore but we had our little secret too , You".

"Me?"

"Yes you, Cookie was carrying you when we got married. So I have only one question, Does this guy make you happy?"

"What? You knocked up mommy? Rarity how could you!" Sweeties world shattered "Rarity the illiterate child!"

"Sweetie that's illegitimate not illiter...ah oh never mind".

Rarity wrapped the thought that she too had leveraged her mother into submission but the answer to her fathers question

rang true 'Did Spike make her happy?' all the work the gem hunts the trips to anyplace or no place at all, Was she happy?

"Sweetie can you go check up on Spike and find mother for us, father are you actually going to eat that awful looking jello?"

Raritys eyes clued Sweetie to exit for a private talk the foal sighed as she left the room.

"Gee just when you were getting to the juicy stuff, Rarity the illiterate child".

"Sweetie Belle enough!"

The sound of a stallion choking on lime jello could be heard throughout the ward.

_________________________________________________

"Spike here's your new room I don't think you have much longer in isolation and Luna has increased the patrols".

Twilight watched her number one assistant layout ledgers scrolls and other office supplies on his bed.

"You're in a hospital you should get your rest Spike" Twilight lectured him" You can do that stuff later".

"Yeah that's coming from Princess OCD , President of the sleep as you read club, 'I'm not just the president I'm a member too!'

really Twi I'll be ok, I'm just worried about Rares".

Twilight slipped out a few gems and levitated them onto Spikes pillow Spikes eyes widened, before he could say anything

her hoof silenced his words and she winked "She'll be ok not a word about theses ok?"

Sweetie roamed the halls looking for Spikes room or any signs of her mom "Wait till I tell Spike about Rarity being illiterate".

She trotted along till she realized that she was almost lost no longer where the halls polished and sanitary the lighting was less too.

She hurried along the deeper she went the less sure she was on her location the only signs she passed were plastered FLOOR WET.

"Wow that's sure a funky smell what happened here?" Sweetie held a hoof to her nose "Stinks like . . .like dragon!"

A thestral guard stepped out from the shadows "How would a little filly like you know how a dragon smells?"

A startled Sweetie Belle jumped back seeing Lunas royal seal displayed on his armor she then smiled a Pinkie styled grin.

"Twilights bathroom at her castle sometimes smells like that of course" she put a hoof to her chin thinking.

The guard moved down and gave Sweetie a small level of introductory stink eye.

"Or back at the Carrousel Boutique when she sent me out to Sugar Cube Corner so I wouldn't notice what was going on".

The guard drew closer as Sweetie continued.

"It could of been earlier at the Golden Oak Library when he farted and burned up those cushions but definitely after

Apple Bloom said that his balls dropped I think he stunk more than he usually did normally".

The guards confusion was growing as Sweetie Belle rambled more.

" He used to hang around and help us get our cutie marks but as he got older he started helping my illiterate sister

around her shop, You know what illiterate is don't you?"

"What's your illiterate sister have to do with what a dragon smells like?" The thestral asked as he gripped the sides of his helmet with his

leathery wings.

"Oh that's easy my big sister is having an illiterate foal with Spike who is Princess Twilights personal assistant who happens to

be a dragon".

The guard shook his head and motioned to her to follow his lead they walked to the self-serve cafeteria. He grabbed a cup of coffee

and told her where Spikes new room was. Sweetie looked at all the goodies that laid out before her, Sweetie licked her chops.

Rarity sat up in her bed sniffing the air 'Sniff Sniff Sniiiiiiif

"What cha smell Snookem?"

"Excuse me for a moment father"

Spike sat writing and scribbling notes as Twilight checked and double checked his work. The normally quiet halls started to

burble with the clatter of hooves and claws with the words "After her " and "Stop her" Rarity galloped down the halls

her bare teeth showing her fangs her claws clattering along. Rarity looked and saw what she needed to take care of,

Through the portal she leapt sailing through the air colliding with Spike. She reached for the gems and plopped one in her mouth

she looked at his surprise. . . she smiled teasing Spike with the savory crystal lip to lip they crunched the tidbit together.

Raritys father leaned on the door frame after giving chase, smiling at his daughter thinking 'yep she couldn't be happier'

Behind Magnum extra eyes attached to orderlies and Doctors arrived seeing the two eating the gems, Doctor Mallard broke the

silence bellowing his objection to the two gem munchers that where soon to be hauled off someplace else .

" Who brought in that contraband into my isolation ward?"

An orderlys whispering followed "They're just as bad as that Dash character with her cider!"

Spike looked a little sheepish whispering to Twilight "From small alicorns grow big oopsies".

Raritys father then sniffed the air 'Oh Wow that's Sweeties cooking? I smell her bacon pancakes!' Smoke then filled the hallways. . .

Spike and Rarity the dragon mares cuddling was cut short by the claxons sound of a fire alarm.

The informative article in the news papers the next day (After the special coupons for Filthy Riches Bargain Barn Specials for the week)
was a small piece on page three left hand column line twenty of a cafeteria fire at the Private Canterlot hospital ward with unknown origins. No injuries reported.