X Is Going To Kill You!

by Mystical Rainboom

Rating: mature
Tags: Gore, DJ P0N-3, Dark, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Sex, Adagio Dazzle, Random
Length: 2511

Anonymous Noname Person, the most clumsy guy at Canterlot High School, repeatedly calls down thunder. His antics always result in very slow and painful deaths! Nobody is too good to kill him, especially when he unleashes their fury.

Anonymous Noname Person, the most clumsy guy at CHS, repeatedly calls down thunder. His antics always result in very painful deaths! Nobody is too good to kill him, especially when he unleashes their fury.

He also is followed by a pink cloud called feral-moan. This cloud disappears and strikes whoever is angry with anon.

Now, Anonymous always has to live in fear, because one way or another...he's gonna die.

(The story remains tagged complete. None of the chapters are going to relate, but an indefinite amount will be made.)
(Tagged with sex for any mishaps the doofus gets into.)

Published 2015-06-01 22:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-02 18:26:22 UTC

Rainbow Dash Is Going To Kill You!

Your name is Anon. Anon was a simple guy, average nose, average eyes, average brain or less. The only unique feature was his school. Full of magic, monsters, and the occasional breaking into song. Anon kept to himself though, until one misstep.

"Hey! You ruined my new shoes!" Rainbow Dash, teen element of loyalty, was near Anon.

Anon immediately apologized and took two steps forward. His 3rd step in mud caused him to slip around. His slipping had shot mud everywhere!

Rainbow was painted with mud. She had mud all over her hair and clothes. The only spot that wasn't brown was red and growling: her face.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Anon picked up his books and ran away. He had an immense fear that Rainbow,  one of the fastest girls in school, would chase him. He heard running footsteps.

He closed his eyes and he tried to run faster. Footsteps were still right after him. He ran into the school and tried to lose his follower. He threw a boy in the path, tossed Vinyl backwards, and knocked over a ladder to get away. The footsteps were lost into the sound of screaming teens.

Anon stopped into a locker and felt safe. Then, he heard the same footsteps. He was sweating. Anon knew it in his heart that with all the demons and magic, he was bound to meet his fate any moment. He gulped when he was face to face with blue eyes. To his confusion, he wasn't being hunted by Rainbow, but instead he was tailed by Pinkie Pie.

She pinned a bright purple button on his chest.

Hey Anon! Congratulations! You've earned star of the week!" Pinkie hugged him tightly. He was losing air, but he could have lost teeth his to Rainbow. He sighed smoothly and went to first period.

His seat was at least 3 meters from Dash, so he relaxed. Miss Cheerilee stood and announced a few facts.

"School wide project partners will be chosen today. Everyone, please list out your names on the board."

Anon got up to write his name and ran back to his seat. Anon wasn't taking chances with Rainbow.

Three rows of names were made and Miss Cheerilee pulled out a bingo machine. It rattled with numbers and selected one.

"17! Anon will be partnered with Rainbow Dash!"

What are the odds? Anon looked at Rainbow to see her displeasure. She is usually very forgiving, but today seemed different. Today she seemed angry enough to give someone a black eye

Anon cowered in fear. He hid in Adagio Dazzle's hair.

"Get out, loser!" Adagio shook her hair and launched him towards Rainbow Dash. He collided into her.

"Hey Look! Anonymous is feeling the Rainbow!" One classmate shouted out. He passed the thought that Rainbow was kissing or getting groped by Anon.

Laughter filled the air and Rainbow Dash spoke in cold eyes. "Get. Off."

Anon tried to grab on a desk for support and found some scissors. He slipped and ripped Rainbow's skirt. She immediately kicked him off and Anon scooted away.

For the rest of class, Dash had to sit to avoid revealing, what she hoped was only, her panties. Anon had to sit next to his partner and collaborate on a project.

Anon was shivering in fear and tried to speak.

"So...that's the idea."

"Okay." Rainbow said flatly.

"We just need a book on physics." Anon shuddered.

"Whatever." Rainbow said in a cold tone

Anon was as stressed as a smoker in a box of dynamite. He was sure Rainbow would strangle him and beat him. The bell rang and he dashed out. Rainbow had to ask Rarity for a skirt for gym.

Everything was smooth at first. Anon wasn't big enough to stand a chance in football, so he sat on the bleachers. Rainbow was with Applejack and Fluttershy, who tried to keep her from beating up Trixie.

"Can't I just break her nose?" Rainbow was furious and too angry to return to her senses.

"No sugarcube. She's not worth it."

"Trixie, alone, is worth more than your house, farmer girl!" Trixie butted in.

"I swear it'll be quick! She's just a stuck-up doofus!"

"Hahaha!" Vinyl Scratch added fans to the fire.

"Trixie resents any insult. Especially if said insult comes from a Rainbow obsessed idiot."

"Uh Oh." Fluttershy cowered letting go.

Applejack could usually take Rainbow, but Rainbow was acting just like a crazed bull today.

A football rolled near the pair. The guys using it forced Anon to go fetch it.

"And dude, make it snappy!"

Anon ran to get the ball and tracked it down. Right next to Dash.

The insults expanded swiftly. The pair reached the category of sex life.

"Trixie, you can't please a single guy. Even Flash won't touch you!"

"The Great Trixie does not wish to have him! Also Rainbow Dash, you seem to be on your "red" today which attracts your new admirer!" As if she was solving a case, Trixie pointed towards Anon.

All eyes were on Anon as his face turned red.

"What?! No! I just got this foot-" Anon fell down after grabbing on Rainbow for support and managed to pull off her skirt and panties.

Everyone is the gym was watching Rainbow's beautiful meow-meow. Anon's nose started to bleed and Rainbow socked him in the face and he ran away. Rainbow pulled up her pants and chased him at a fast speed.

Everyone in the gym either laughed, had a larger "banana" or "taco" in their pants, or stood frozen.

Anon was screaming and running. "Oh my god! I'm doomed to die!"

A strange pink powder arose from a window and Rainbow was even angrier.

"You're not wrong!"  She charged even faster after him.

"Help! She's gonna kill me!" Anon shouted to nobody.

He made his way outside and tried to hide in a bush, but Rainbow immediately tossed him out. He ran off campus to a dumpster.

"Hey buddy, hit the road!" Shining Armor was hiding from Cadence.

"Anon, when I find you, your dead!" Rainbow shouted.

"Shining Armor, I'm serious I'd like to have a baby!" Cadence ran into view.

Anon crawled to safety. But, he knew Rainbow was always nearby.

He found Vinyl's car and tried to hot wire it. Being a boring nobody, Anon found time to learn to hot wire cars.

The car started and he drove into a forest. He was sure Rainbow was unable to track him there. But suddenly, the radio switched from wubs to an eerie track. Rainbow slowly arose from the backseat. Her eyes were glowing red, her teeth had fangs, and h

Anon was sure he was about to have a heart attack. He was in a car with his soon-to-be killer.

It happened fast, Rainbow caused the car to hit a tree and smash Anon into the window. He tried to get out and crawl away, but Rainbow pinned him down and knocked his head into some mud. Rainbow grabbed some glass and cut him in his sides. She was miraculously unscathed.

Rainbow grabbed his face and punched him twenty-seven times. Anon had a bloody nose, a black eye and lost some teeth. Rainbow then put her fist together and broke his face.

Rainbow then open the hood off the car and shoved Anon inside. She went into the car and turned on the engine full throttle! Anon was ripped piece by piece and had his blood in the engine. His skull was turned into powder, and his legs were ground into bloody spaghetti with his intestines.  His "little eclair" was scattered on the windshield and his bowels stained the tree.

Rainbow got out and lit a fire in the gas tank and ran away.

She found herself far from the cremated Anon, and stripped her bloody clothes off. She was naked and walked home and snuck in for a nap.

When she woke up, she urinated and removed the pink powder from her body. She had no memory at all and put on some new clothes and  felt she was asleep for hours. She felt scot-free.

Meanwhile

"So Rainbow chased him out?" Octavia asked Vinyl Scratch.

"Yep. It was hilarious. Where's my car?"

"It must've been GTA should I call some one?"

"I've got it. Like a good neigh-bor Statefarm is there with a new car." Vinyl said and a new car appeared and the two drove home.

Rarity Is Going To Kill You!

Anonymous N. Person, local loser, is a walking disaster. This is old news though. Today, Anon finds himself walking to school and ready for fun. Suddenly, Anon falls flat on his teeth and notices what he's tripped on. A purple lunchbox with glowing artifacts inside.

Anon opened the box swiftly and found strange fruits inside. He finds a tag in confusing writing.

Fruit for the thought.

These 7 magic fruits can increase emotional output...with flavor...ingested then you will...love them...1st come...get served.

-Tw------- ------e

Anon had breakfast, but it faded fast! There were only a few thoughts in his dull head:

"Free Food!" He shouted in joy.

Anon leapt and engulfed the food. He them made his way to class.

Anon walked into school with his eyes closed. He waved at many people as he took his seat in class. Then, Rarity entered in a stunning dress. She had several shiny jewels on her and only a few were bedazzled on with just a few gems from Twilight.

"Rarity, those are enough gems to buy a house!" Twilight said.

"And I love each of them." Rarity grew brighter by the minute. She was like a walking chandelier.

Anon was now experiencing the pink heart fruit.

Anon was drooling for Rarity and had hearts in his eyes.

"Looks like Rarity has two Spikes." Rainbow pointed towards Anon.

"Oh darling, please refrain from soaking the ground."

Anon immediately stopped and tried to wipe with his shirt. Rarity escaped the awkward situation by skipping to her seat.

During 1st period, Rarity had felt Anon's eyes all over her. She'd been accustomed to eyes on her, but Anon was gross and creepy.

Rarity tried to avoid him. Then, right when Anon walked out of class his mood changed.

Anon screamed like a girl and ran away. Rarity tried to forget, but Anon was always near. Twilight continued to study Anon.

Anon was afraid of everything: Light, Dark, People, Bugs, his shadow. He seemed to get more and more afraid. He was shivering like a leaf.

Rarity scooched away, but Applejack gave her a word of advice.

"I just feel a bit guilty."

"Rarity, it's not your fault. He's probably just in his hormones, but a little comforting may help somebody." Applejack said. Rarity swiftly grabbed onto her and hugged her. "I meant him."

"Pinkie Pie always says hugs heal the soul." Rarity said, while clenching to Applejack.

A few minutes later, Rarity managed to get close to Anon. She valued her friends, so she was prepared to hug him calmly. It always worked for anyone else. She leaned closer to his shoulder, but Anon bounced to another fruit.

"Do you think I need your petty feelings, WOMAN!" In a second, Anon was almost a different person. "I don't need a walking dress up doll to cuddle with."

Rarity stammered. All eyes were on her and Anon. "I'm sorry, I thought you just needed-" Rarity was cut off by Anon.

"I think YOU need some nachos, because your feelings are cheesy as ever!" Anon stole Derpy's nachos and bashed them on Rarity, who sat still with cheese on her hair, head, and dress.

"GOODBYE YOU ATTENTION WHORE!!!" Anon barked as he walked away.

Anon kicked a ball into Bulk Biceps and ripped a spirit banner. He also swore at Vinyl, who couldn't hear and was better off not knowing, and went to the library.

Rarity stood silent and didn't move as her friends cleaned her up. She later went to change and headed to third period: the library.

Rarity took a seat in the highest area, by herself reading on the fabric of plants. Out of nowhere, Anon smacked her thumbs closed in the book. The color span from white to purple quickly.

"Plants?! You're reading on something about plants!"

"Pardon me, I must go." Rarity tried to escape, but Anon grabbed her collar. He threw her towards a pile of books.

"I'm sure Big Mac's handjob can wait!!!" Anon shouted.

Anon slapped Rarity in the face and pushed her down. "Let's see if I can turn you purple in three minutes, but first..."

Anon grabbed a garbage can and dumped it on Rarity. She was utterly furious. After all the time she talked about bullies with Sweetie Belle, this was happening.

A sudden pink aroma ran into Rarity's nose. She now advanced from furious to BALLISTIC! Anon couldn't see her anymore, but his mood changed to his old self with a weaker body. Red eyes and a tiger's roar were detected by his senses. Then...

(Gore Alert!!!)

Rarity's knuckles shot out and shattered Anon's nose and teeth. She took another swing and beat one of his eyes in. Left and right, Rarity shattered his face and dazed him. His eye on his right was throbbing inward and seemed to disappear. Anon's nose was a wrinkled clump of skin on his face. Teeth were flying everywhere.

Anon, still alive crawled away, but something heavy crushed his head.

Rarity was holding the heavy book. She repeatedly smashed his head to the point, it was as flat as a pancake.

"YOU! PIECE! OF! SHIT!" Rarity took several pauses to smash his head in. The book was now more like a red brick.

Rarity used her long nails to pierce into his chest and ripped it open! She stomped on every organ he had! Then, she walked to her backpack and pulled out a heel.

She threw it up in the air and landed it right on his balls. She put a bare foot on it and raised it.

"Arrivederci, you bitch." She whispered.

Rarity slammed down and destroyed every bone in his tiny balls. Blood sprayed everywhere. As if the world stood still, Rarity posed in all the blood and cum that had flown to the walls, all under a loud cracking and squishing sound.

Rarity threw up on the remains of Anon, relieving her of the pink aroma.

Twilight ran in a second later and her eyes shrunk.

"OH MY CELESTIA!!! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!!" She screamed.

Before Rarity could answer, the vomit emitted a smell that made both girls leave for the rest room and forget everything. If the two girls were asked, they'd say "I had a bad breakfast."

The school was then let out for Spring Break. The window in the library was open though, so a few birds and rats feasted on Anon's remains. If it was any consolation, the rats would tell themselves "He needs salt."