Friendship Theologia

by Viking Hoof

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Adventure, Human
Length: 4653

The White Christ, a would be shackle upon the strength and fervor of the Norse, but thanks to the Great Serpent of Change; it was a shackle that was shattered before it could be placed upon us.

The White Christ, a would be shackle upon the strength and fervor of the Norse. But thanks to the Great Serpent of Change; it was a shackle that was shattered before it could ever be placed upon us. In it's place the bonds of friendship were placed, bonds that tie warriors together into the great Skjaldborg of our nation! Praise the great Odin, praise Freyja and Thor, praise the gods of horn and wing, praise the Fylkira, and hail the Stórrdrottning!

Praise them indeed, for the great Serpent has called us to battle. To battle a threat that the magics of hoof, wing, and horn cannot defeat without us. This is our Ragnarok, the time where our gods battle and they need our swords as was foretold!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-29 19:20:01 UTC

Prologue: Forward Orkish Soldiers

Two alicorns sat on a hill top, far above a valley to the north. Their majestic and lithe forms were sullied with a fine paste of blood, dirt, and sweat. The younger (if a millennia old mare could be called younger) and bluer of the two bore a multitude of scrapes and bruises. The whiter of the two had even more scrapes and bruises, but they were obscured as she gently glowed under the light of her own magic. They both emanated frustration, pain, and anger.

“Still nothing.” The white one muttered to herself as she dropped said magic. That nothing had been a 10,000 degree Fahrenheit drop of plasma the size of a small leaf fizzing out of reality as the thaumic bonds holding it together fell apart. It was a literal sundrop, for the silky white coated alicorn was none other than the sun goddess Celestia, diarch of Equestria. The blue one gave Celestia a dejected look.

“Sister, maybe we should try earthquakes again? Surely they can’t be blocking magic all the way down. We have to be able to move something. One fissure is all it would take...” The blue one’s voice trailed off as she struggled to calculate the geological pressures required to split the earth if you started several miles down. “I think.”

“We’re too close to an actual fault line. If we mess with it too much now, we could destabilize a far larger area. The damage would be catastrophic. I... if nothing else works, we try it then.” Celestia answered with a miserable tone. The two alicorns turned back to the valley with sharp frowns.

In the depth of the valley marched a horde of bipedal boars, digger trolls to be exact. They were a nasty brutish species on the average, normally inclined to avoid social structures. These were the exception. Not a total exception, Celestia and Luna could smell their body odor and urine from where they were sitting, most digger trolls relieved themselves on the go, but they were an exception in that they had come together to form a army. A excessively large army.

The blue one tossed another star at the approaching army. It was not a real star as defined by the far more complicated realities that sometimes contained bipedal apes. It was none other than a piece of the firmament itself, a small light barely a hoof across that shone brightly enough to light the way for sailors and was but one stitch in the fabric of a small reality, for the blue sister was none other than Luna, goddess of the night sky. It evaporated before ever striking the foe, same as the others she had dropped. Celestia didn’t bother trying another drop of sunlight.

“Where’s Discord?” Luna inquired, her voice tinged heavily with exhaustion. Discord would normally enjoy watching the two sisters flail themselves uselessly at a problem. He was a god of change and misery.

“Haven’t seen him since he tried the chocolate rain flood.” Celestia muttered solemnly. Neither sister wanted to contemplate what being caught in the magical field would do to them. Discord hadn’t either.

The two sisters stared again at the massive mob of trolls moving through the valley of flowers. They gave a moment of silence to mourn the passing of one of the nicer valleys of Equestria. They had seen the streaks of brown and yellow and dead grass the troll mob left in its wake.

Finding the wake of the troll army had taken a long time. The army of trolls was miles long, literal miles. The ones towards the end reminded the sisters of dung beetles.

Celestia reviewed the map of the nearby fault line. The damage to the unfortunately named nearby city of Clopnhavn would be catastrophic if they tried to go too deep right now. Celestia and Luna hung their heads tiredly.

“Hello… girls” Celestia and Luna both turned surprised at the sound of Discord’s voice. They froze as their eyes focused in on the small snaggle toothed grin on snake’s face. “Miss me?”

Their shock did not last long.

"Discord, where have you been?" Luna demanded, suspicion tinting her voice. The serpent of chaos laughed and simply rolled past her.

“I was worried I wouldn’t find the right dimension. We Discords are rather picky about that.” Both sisters simply rolled their eyes. They’d heard enough of Discords crap about other dimensions.

“Discord, we have a problem here and now, We need to deal with these… these… beasts! before they turn all of Equestria into a cesspit. As much fun as you have tormenting us sometimes, surely better us than them!.” Discord laughed a rather sour mirthful laugh.

“Indeed, which is why I have gone for help.” Discord answered plainly.

“Help?” They inquired with a flat insistence.

“Well, it took a while to convince them, but yes, I have brought help.” Both sisters examined the look on Discord’s face very carefully. "Help traveling at around 480 kilometers per hour." He elaborated unhelpfully.

"Discord," Celestia glanced to Luna for confirmation and then continued, "we demand that you explain." The serpent chuckled with small mirth.

"I'm afraid this will take a while to explain."

"How long?" Luna snapped in, tired both physically and emotionally, her frayed emotions showing through.

"Ohhh, about 1300 years." Discord gave a half chuckle. "That is, if you want a play by play." His grin passed away, which froze the sisters immediately. A serious God of Chaos is a terrifying thing. The sister's racing thoughts as to where the smile went tripped over themselves as a small thrumming filled the air with just a hint of buzzing.

"Changelings?" The elder sister asked tersely.

"My, my, my, such a lack of imagination, my dear Celestia.” Discord answered, a small portion of the laughter in his eyes returning. “Considering your earlier comments, I’m pretty sure you two are in for quite the shock.”

“Earlier comments?” The younger sister mouthed in confusion to the older.

“Yes I.” Discord paused. The sound of the thrumming was getting a little louder. “If I were you I’d cover my ears.” The thrumming grew sharper in note and sound, The two sisters searched the air. Luna paused as she saw something pass through a cloud, It was a good distance away, but she swore it was flying too fast for any pegasus other than one of the two that had helped to strip a demon away from her soul (a story for another time). “I’m telling you, they make these things loud on purpose.”

It was almost like a eagle diving sideways, but it was grey, pointy, and angular. It… before she could warn Celestia it was passing overhead, the thrumming crescendoing into a sound much like a enormous scythe slicing the air around her. It dropped Arcing down in a way that would tear the wings off any eagle. She turned, it was diving towards the digger trolls.

Yes it was fast, but surely one small flying… thing, couldn’t do all that much against such a horde. One large oblong shapes dropped from its hull. Strange.

Luna and Celestia struggled to unpop their ears, the sound of tearing paper barely audible through their afflicted eardrums.  Thrumming filled every decibel of sound that wasn’t sawing or tearing. It was audibly similar to being in a house of stone and wood while it was in the process of being savaged by a group of blind minotaurs wielding saws and sledgehammers.

Celestia was the first to recover and look up. What had once been a cloudy sky tinted green with the vapors of trollshit, was now smoke filled with screaming metal birds passing overhead, others lazily orbiting in the distance breathing strange streams of fire. Off in the distance past the firebreathing metal birds were small fireflies deploying what from this distance looked to be aphids. It was utter and complete madness. In the middle of this was the churning mass of gore that had once been the diggertroll vanguard. The huge mass of gore was impressive, but after quick calculations Luna frowned, the troll army was literally mile long. Even at the rate that the strange metal birdcrafts were churning them up it would take days to work through the group.

“Discord, what have you done?!”

Ch1: Friendship By The Sverð

I left the chamber to the cheers of the fools of my new kingdom. Svears, Geat, all cheered the death of one of their own at the hands of their queen, as only a fool would. All of them blind to the new future I was forging in the blood of the man I just slew.

My fellow Svears and the Geates thought they knew strength, they knew nothing. I was taught strength and may I taught them in turn. Most weren't ready for true strength, their vicious hearts would have turned that to ruin. I have taught them how to be one step closer, strong enough to resist the great menace to the south.

No longer would brother spill the blood of brothers for land, at least not where my reign was strong. No longer could the strong deprive the just, at least not in law. The great and terrible serpent had brought the light of a great truth to the Norse, and in the generations to come that strength would grow with each generation.

I motioned for the two vikingrs behind me to follow. Without a word they took the steps behind me, while two more came to my front. One of them passed me an oiled rag. I used the small cloth to wipe down my sword. The blood of the old generation and its ideas passed away in a small quiet away from the cheering of murderers and thieves.

Two of the guards turned to watch the door of my chamber and stopped. The other two followed me in.

"H-how did the speech go, who did you slay?" The first of the two guards inquired nervously. I turned and embraced him heartily. His name was Jom Chaplain. He was a jarl's son who had surrendered his birthright to join my way. He had been ready for the truth. He'd seen the light that the great serpent wrought upon us.

"Tell us!" The other guard insisted. I laughed mirthfully at his insistence. His name was Jom Lucy. He had been a orphaned son of a whore. I'd found him broken in a street, in one of the gutters I had built. I'd picked him up, promised him a home, and I whispered of power. He'd embraced my new way like a drowning sailor.

"All went well, the old ways are passing. I have proven myself and my words before both the ensî and the jarls. It was the lead landholder of Austergeatland who fell as the representative for the old ways.” Both of my guards paused in shock. Understandable considering the muscle mass of the man I just slew. “We have made one more step towards the bright new future." Both guards smiled softly at my words. The blood on my sword was forgotten in our great and powerful joy.

A knocking broke the silence. The knock wasn't that of our way, it was the knock of a stranger or one who was ignorant of our freshly minted kingdom's purpose. There were far too many of both to know who it might be.

I motioned to my guards, one would take the door and the other would be ready to strike. I placed one hand upon my pommel.

"Joms Riker who is tapping upon my door." There was a moment of hesitation. Riker was the guard I usually had assigned to my door.

"A child my lady, shall we remove him?" A child? Odd. My interest piqued, I motioned for the guard at the door to open it.

"A bit tall for a kid, are you not?" Was the first thing out of my mouth. I chastised myself mentally for possibly insulting a guest. The behemoth bowed before me. He looked to be unarmed, but a berserker like him could wring my head loose with his bare hands. I kept my hand at my sword.

"Da said I should come, iz price." I blinked at the half giant’s slow speech. Had some lord really sent their half headed son as a gift? Was this an insult? "He very sorry about man you sent, I replacement." Curiouser by the second.

"Who sent you, and who did he slay?" The giant blinked.

"Da said no one hurt, he very happy. He said it was game, I switch places with guard." I... what? This was some game, who would dare to play a game with me?!

"Explain!" The giant blinked slowly, the left eyelid never quite made it.

"New me make sister very happy, he stay at home, I come and be guard for queen while he be me." Ah, that was what had happened, some jarl's daughter ensnared one of my guards, and the jarl had unloaded his fool son onto me. A product of my new laws. The loss of the guard was a shame, but a friend should always wish happiness upon their comrades.

I wondered if this fool boy resented losing his land rights to some man his sister had bedded. Even if this fool didn't, there would be cousins and uncles who would.

All of their losses were lesser to the future I planned to make. They were small men compared to the Ans I served. I motioned for one of the door guards to approach, for I did not recognize him. He was nervous in my presence. None of the other guards had warned me a new recruit was among us. I had ordered them to stop recruiting behind my back, but their fervor for our destiny was too great.

“Who are you?” The new guard blinked, as realization dawned he prostrate himself.

“My old name is Jorgen great seiðkona.” I held back a reflective scoff at the title, instead listening for the whisper of the great serpent in my ear.

“New Fruit?” Well… odder things had been asked.

“What is one fruit you have not eaten?” The recruit blinked, my other guards chuckled, the dull witted half giant giggled in common with them.

“A ferskja, oh great seiðr and queen.” I blinked in surprise. I did not need to ask the serpent for his name. He had already informed me, or so it seemed.

“Your name is Joms Patrick, your line shall be Stewart. There is a great honor in this name, blemish it and you shall be cast out beyond your people. You may inform any you wish of your name, you may leave my hall as well, but tell any of the secrets you learn and you will leave my service as a corpse.” The guard now named Patrick nodded worriedly and prostrate himself further. How long would he worship my footsteps? How long before he truly embraced the way and knew better than to revere me so distantly? I turned to the giant, about to enquire the serpent of his name, but the whisperer in the dark spoke a different answer.

“Bring him to the seeing chamber, I must wrought a change upon this one.” I smiled softly. The serpent liked to act secretive sometimes.

“What is your name… gentle one?” The giant was still trying to finish his blink from earlier.

“Stórbjörn, miss.” Ah, a good name. I wonder if he would keep it.

“Come with me, Stórbjörn. Joms Riker, you are to teach Joms Patrick our way. The serpent has chosen you two to become shield brothers.” Riker did not question, he knew our way closer than most. He was my first, as the serpent had instructed. Riker had been a Huskarl of a jarl’s court, he had left everything to find me, a small girl, daughter of a concubine and the Petty king of the Svear. The King and his sons had been lost in a small ship, it had been smashed against a rock in a great storm. He had slain three jarls and a berserker who had attempted to claim my title.

I led Stórbjörn through my father's great hall, a temporary structure till my greater stone hall was finished. At the end sat a small door, a guard flanking either side. I opened it, and motioned for him to enter. This room was nearly solid metal, but the outside was lined with pelts. It was designed to be a place where no sound escaped, and no entry was easy. A perfect chamber to receive the serpents direct instructions.

Stórbjörn followed without question, like a lazy dog on a rope. I'd always liked dogs, but something about a human that could be dumber than one... felt wrong. To be without one's faculties, that was truly a horror I did not wish to reckon. The door slammed shut behind me.

A hand seized around my throat from behind, a huge meaty hand. I tried to flail, but another hand on my right arm held me too securely to allow my turning. My left hand dived to my scabbard, but my brain was already working ahead. He had me in a hold, but he couldn't afford me getting my sword out, he was out of hands, that meant he might try to knee my hand or kick it, or try to pull me down. I-

"URK!-" The two hands were yanked away. I was pulled back, but I managed to recover. I turned to find the great and mismatched serpent, Stórbjörn captured by its tail around his throat. The small tuft at the end was teasing Stórbjörn's ear.

"Sorry my dear, but I do believe he is well under control now." The serpent chuckled.

"Was it all act? Was he truly so perfidious a liar?" The serpent placed a taloned hand on top of the giant's head.

"No, his father told him it was another game, like hide and seek." I nodded along, it wasn't too far fetched. It was unfortunate that a innocent would so cruelly be used. "Do you remember when I told you my rules, my 25th rule?" I nodded slowly. The serpent's rules were not ordered in a true list. The Serpent used numbers, letters, shapes, colors, and a plethora of other indicators rather than any sensible list. The 25th rule was after rule shape square and rule size purple.

"Change is great, but to change a person against their will is monstrous, especially to take away." The serpent nodded proudly, and rewarded me with a toothy smile, his snaggletooth poking out humorously as always.

"You will find that no rule is without exception. The exception to this rule is what is a repair. While this art will be inaccessible to your people for a good while, to repair the mind of a man is a possibly kind change, but it is one never lightly made." The serpent's tone dipped to a dark register at his warning before he continued."A incomplete mind like this is a cruel fate, and the mind of a madman is sometimes a matter of the physical rather than the mental. Remember that before you pass judgement on what appears to be a monster among men." The serpent pulled open Stórbjörn's eyes, their dull witted lack of understanding seeming to shine through as they stared at the serpent.

"Know that I change only the state, to give where he lacks." The serpent snapped its bear claws, and to my shock I saw Stórbjörn's eyes glimmered with newfound comprehension. The Serpent dropped him and left. Not through the door, but through the shadows of the room.

"I-who-it...ohh..." The no longer half witted giant murmured as he rose to his feet. Tears began to stream down his eyes. I wasn't sure what second revelation hit him, but whatever it was brought him to his knees.

I placed a hand gently upon his shoulder. He turned to me, gratitude open upon his face. It was a look I hoped to see a million times more.

"How much did the Serpent reveal of this world to you?" The giant blinked, a rapid and smooth blink.

"Friendship is strength." He uttered in a empty tone. I felt a frown grace my lip. It seemed the serpent had not given him to our way truly. My frown passed. If the serpent had chosen to not give him to our order through change, then it was that we should never as well. Another unspoken rule for the chronicle.

"Friendship is bonds, and just as the rings of mail alone are useless, together they can be a priceless defense against a hard world." The giant nodded slowly.

"I think my da-father would disagree, I-I'm not so certain of my new capacities to give them so freely, but I have a debt to you I-" I raised my hand to stop him.

"Swear what oaths you will, but know that a true friend, as I hope I will become for you, will always give such vital gifts freely. Also, it is the serpent you should thank, not I." The giant nodded slowly, uncertain rather than slow witted.

"That sounds like a way to become a pauper." He answered after a moment had passed.

"Where one may be leaned on, one can always lean upon others. A gift to a good friend is always rewarding as well." I paused to reconsider the story he had spun me. “Where exactly are you from friend?” The man gave me a perplexed look before comprehension dawned.

“I see that your friendship doesn’t extend to those who attempt to harm you. I am from Trondelag, my father is the Jarl of Trondelag.” Ahh… it seems opportunity knocked.

“I believe that your father’s attack upon me might just be a great boon. If anyone asks you surrendered yourself to me with a confession. Considering what disrespect you have wrought upon I your host, I believe you will see the wisdom of complying with that." The newly cognizant bear of a man smiled wryly.

“I do believe my new faculties can handle that.” It seems he had caught on.

I smiled gently and motioned to the door. "Come, you must be tired, let us find you a bunk."

“Now class, can any of you guess what documents this adapted chronicle is based on?” Rainbow Dash frowned as a hand refused to raise. “Anyone?” The class remained attentive but unresponsive. A shame, it seemed this intermediary school ap class wasn’t the birthplace of leaders… yet.

“That class is the adapted chronicle of Empress Aurora Primalis herself, First of the Line of the Equestrian, and my great great great great... great… well… I’m directly decended from her. It relates to the day of first founding as the Empress describes it. It is the birth of the short lived Nordösterríke crown. As you all should know, in less than a year she would conquer Trondelag, and vassalize the free lords of Vestrike under her banner. Can anyone tell me what that new kingdom was called?” Finally, and hand raised. Rainbow Dash flagged it down eagerly.

“Umm… The North Realm, Nord Rike?” Rainbow Dash felt a warm fuzz fill her for just a moment.

“Exactly!” The student blushed and quickly sat down. Rainbow Dash shortly wondered how long it would take for the royal family to bring knowledge back to being sexy

Aurora stared out across the field at the King of the Saxons, his tired form standing out barely against the snow. If the Serpent was right, the Kingdom of the Saxons wouldn’t have lasted this long if she hadn’t funded it while subjugating the damndable Danes. The Saxons had already lost the sacred grove at Paderborn to the Christian pillagers. Would this King bend his knee to save his people and faith from the torch of Christian pyres?

It was already telling that the King would have brought only a small retinue to Hedeby, the town she had marked as the meeting ground. The money she had given him for spies should have revealed her overbearance of funds to use upon the invaders if he did bend. It had certainly bought his kingdom time.

“Your terms?” The King asked softly, a truly dark sign. For a man who had rejected her open hand only two years ago to act so beaten meant he was broken thoroughly.

“I promise you the Saxon lands across the channel of the frisians and franks. I promise you lands of Irland, and the lands of the old germanic tribes before the times of the Cross. These shall be ruled by sires of your blood and other noble saxon blood.” The Saxon King blinked in shock, visible from even 50 paces away. They were generous terms, and quite unusual. “Of course, your current lands and all of those shall be saxon for two hundred cycles. After that point the inheritances be what they may.” The Saxon King stared at me suspiciously. His next action was known before he next opened his lips.

“Seal this promise with blood, and the Saxon flag shall fly under one as generous as yours.” He was already kneeling. I signalled for the guards to check for assassins or tricks.

“The final stipulation.” The king hung his head in resignation, he had seen this coming.”You and any vassals who wish to keep their land shall adopt the practices of Hryssatru, you must observe the faith of the winged and horned and hoofed, you must refuse to sacrifice a man to the gods from this day on, and you must acknowledge the claim of my line to exercise prophetic and moral judgements.-"

Aurora paused as she heard a bell echo through the speakers.

"And that class begins the lesson on the Hedeby Aftalen and the war between the newly minted Stórr Nordríke and the sons of Charlemagne. Remember, I expect to see those dioramas by Månday.

The students filed out, that left only one final task to her as the Fylkira. It would be her final task as Fylkira. Rainbow Dash checked the decorated Langseax sheathed in the small of her back.

One touch of the blade caused blood to welt from a tiny pinprick on her finger. She still couldn't believe that the Alþingi passed the law against her will. They were well intentioned, but again the Godi's had fooled them, much as the elder Godi's of her great aunt's time had fooled that Alþinfo.

And she would do much as her aunt had done. It had worked then. Rainbow Dash hoped it would work now. She glanced again at...

at...

"Great Serpent!" Aurora charged forth and embraced the Serpent of Change as she had since she was nothing but a small child, barely able to stand outside the helpful grasp of her aunt.

"Come child of Aurora, the need is great." Rainbiw Dash pulled away from the Serpent in Confusion,

"But I already go t-" the Serpent stopped her,

"Not there child, but in Equestria."