Warmth of the sunlight

Pinkie hadn’t come back to school for a week now.

I couldn’t get up from bed. When I realized it was because the curtain wasn’t opened by Sunny any more, I felt a deep hole of sorrow inside my heart.

I got out of bed and walked around with bare hooves. The house was quiet. All I could hear was the sound of the engine of the fridge running.

Suddenly I heard the kitten meow. He was like a child who couldn’t find his parents, running around the house looking at room after room. I knew that Sunny had left.

The kitten couldn’t find Sunny. To him, today was the first day he actually left his true owner.

I sat down on the chair. On the table there was the small radio that Sunny used. I sat there, missing her.

I knew this day would come long time ago. I knew I would be depressed too, and I knew what would happen next. Everything would go back to normal, and it would go just as I planned. I could close the windows and curtains, and live inside a dark room like a dead body inside a coffin. Then nothing sad will ever happen.

I was in pain because I had started connecting to the world. If I don’t see anypony, then I won’t be jealous, angry or those negative emotions. If I hadn’t been so close to Sunny, our departure won’t be so painful either.

She was murdered. How did she feel after she was dead? Had she ever cried because of what happened to her? Thinking about these made my heart shatter into pieces.

I wished that I would give half of my life to her. In fact, if she could come back to life, I wouldn’t mind giving all of my life to her. If I could see her living with kitten happily ever after, I wouldn’t mind being dead.

Why am I still alive? Why did she die? Why wasn’t it me?

After a long while, I finally noticed a letter on the table. I jumped out of the chair, knocking it over and grabbed onto the letter for my dear life. It was Sunny’s hoof writing on the front. Receiver was my name, and the sender was Sunny Wings.

I opened the letter with shaking hooves. Inside was a photo and a letter.

I looked at the photo. It was a picture of me sleeping with kitten. I had a smile on my face, more peaceful than anything I had ever seen. It’s not like looking into a mirror, because I couldn’t see myself being so happy. It’s from Sunny’s eyes, from her perspective of life, and recorded into the form of a photo.

I started reading. I felt tears ran down my cheeks.

“Sorry, I took a photo of you sleeping without asking you. But you were just so adorable, I couldn’t help it.

This is the first time I actually write a serious letter. This is weird. I don’t know when, but from some point it was like our soul had connected. I didn’t even need to write to let you know what I need. Thinking back, I found it incredible that us three: you, me, and kitten had been living together for such long time.

But I had to leave. I really wanted to stay here with you and kitten, but I just can’t. I am really sorry.

You have no idea how thankful I am to you, do you? Even though I am dead, but everyday was happy. So, I am glad that I have met you. I thank god for giving me such a great chance. I knew in between us there was no giving or taking, we just lived our life together, but that was enough. Nothing could be happier to me, somepony who didn’t have any relative and well, was already dead. Besides, you never peak around in my room, or mess the entire place up.

It’s so sad that kitten died. Maybe he hadn’t realized that he was dead already. But soon he will find out, and he would want to leave you as well. But when the time comes, I hope you won’t be as depressed.

Kitten and I never felt we were that unfortunate. It’s true that there are a lot of sad things in the world. And of course I had thought, if only this didn’t happen to me, how great would that be?

But there are even more shockingly beautiful things in this world. I have seen a lot of amazing stuff, and I was grateful for it. I was glad that I could be part of the world, or at least have some relationship to it. I felt that way every time I take a photo. Even though I was murdered, I still love this world, and I couldn’t stop it. So, please don’t be so hateful.

I guess what I am trying to say is, look at the photo. You have a beautiful face. You are part of this beautiful world. You are part of what I love.”

Kitten couldn’t find Sunny anywhere, so he had to turn to me. I played with him for a while and I heard him meowing happily.

It was summer break, I have no school. I figured I should clean the room and wash my laundry.

I looked outside from Sunny’s room. The summer sun shine down on the backyard, everything was golden and bright. In the far and distant sky, the sky was sapphire blue and the clouds snow white.

Half a year ago, she was living here.

She had a huge camera around her neck, walking on the road without any real purposes. There were huge fields on both sides, so enormous that it’s impossible to see the end of it. The wind was warm, and the air was light and joyful. Her hoofsteps was light and bouncy. She was smiling naturally. She raised her neck up high, waiting for the upcoming adventure. The road was going into infinity into the horizon where the blue sky and green field had touched. I was eternally grateful of her. Even though it was short, I was so happy that she stayed with me.