Warmth of the sunlight

by Octavic

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life
Length: 9825

Dan was a depressed pony. He met the ghost of a happy filly, who changed his life forever.

Based on "Happiness with the shape of a cat" written by Famous Japanese writer Otsuichi (Aka 乙一)

Dan was a depressed pony. His life was quiet and eventful, and he hates to socialize. He would rather to be alone. One day he moved into a new house, and soon he found out that it was haunted.

It's those kind of sad stories that makes you "D'awww" at the end.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-22 17:04:42 UTC

Chapter 2

At school, I tried to sit as far away from other ponies as possible during lunch break. I didn’t plan to make any friends in the first place, so I didn’t mind the silence.

Then suddenly, another mare sat down right in front of me. I didn’t know her.

“Hey, you are the one who moved into the haunted house, right?” Asked the strange mare.

I nodded.

Her name was Pinkie Pie, a sophomore. At first I was simply answering her questions. She didn’t look like a bad pony, more like some pony who enjoyed making friends and can actually have fun with life.

We became “friends” from that day. I didn’t actually consider her as a true friend because all we do is go shopping together, or when I need to go to the other side of the town for some business, she would come and drive me there with her adorable small pink mini cooper.

Pnkie was popular. She always hosts the best parties, and every pony would come and have fun. I would go because we are “friends” after all, but I would usually sit down quietly and just read. Pinkie knew that I don’t drink alcohol, so she never forced me to. She was always surrounded by people, laughing and having fun. Every time when every pony’s attention shifted to some stupid drinking game invented by Pinkie, I would leave the party quietly. I have no interest to join them. Instead of sitting there and watch a bunch of half-drunk ponies making a fool out of themselves, I would rather sit on a quiet bench and watch the body of a cat rot. I always enjoyed being alone. Pinkie’s friends were all active and they always smile and laugh. They have money, they have hope, and they were always active. It almost felt like they are some pony from an alternative universe.

I felt like a lower creature when I compare myself to them. In fact, my odd ponyality and my looks had made me the laughing stock of them. Because I only talk when I absolutely have to, they thought that I was a cruel and emotionless pony.

One day they did a little “experiment”. They were in the hall way of a building, and they told me,

“Hey Dan, we gotta something to do, but we’ll be right back. Just wait here for us okay?”

I nodded in silence and they left, every pony including Pinkie. I sat down on the bench alone, reading book while I waited for them to come back. The room became quiet as I waited. I looked at the clock. It had been at least an hour since they had left. Even though I felt a bit uneasy, I still waited and read the book for another hour.

Then only Pinkie came back. She looked at me with emotions that were too complex to read,

“It was a prank, no matter how long you wait those guys won’t come back. They sat really far away and watched you, and they got really bored and left.”

“Really.” I said without any emotions, closed my books and decided to go home.

“Aren’t you upset? They treated you like a freak and wanted to see you act upset.”

It has happened to me a lot of times, and I really don’t care.

“I don’t mind, I am used to this.”

I left Pinkie alone standing there and walked away. I could feel Pinkie’s eyes gazing upon my back.

I knew that I couldn’t fit in them in the first place. They possess something that I could never obtain. So after talking to them, I could only lie down alone and chew on the hopeless with a heart that was filled with something close to hatred.

No, not just to them. I hate and curse everything. Things especially like the sun, blue sky, flowers, singing. I always focus on hating these, and think of ponies who walk around with a smile as a mentally challenge retard. To hate and hide away from this world is the only way I could find comfort.

But Sunny’s photos were completely different. Her photos showed an attitude of accepting and loving everything. From the photo she took of the college, this house, or the park, I could feel that her life was indeed like the sunshine. The photo of her cats and neighbor’s children were all filled with happiness and joy. I have never seen a single photo of Sunny before, but I could imagine her walking around town with a camera, and fillies jump at her asking her to take a photo.

If we both see the same view, I think my eyes would be caught onto a completely different side, I thought. Sunny’s soul had chosen the bright side, and she covered her vision with happiness pure and soft like cotton candy. But I couldn’t do it, I could only see the shadow of the dark side (Author: DUN DUN DUN). I think the world is cold, strange, unsatisfying. But I am still alive, and she was murdered.

I played a little while with kitten and felt better. I suddenly remembered Pinkie. Her friends left me there hanging, but she did come back to get me. Because of this, we still remained friends. We hung out as usual, going to parties and shopping together. The only difference, when she was surrounded by friends and saw me leaving, she would quietly leave the crowd and come after me too.

“Next time can I go to your house?”

I refused her request gently. I don’t want any pony to come to my house. I don’t want her to see the everyday strange things and lose my only so called “friend”.

Every day in the morning, the curtain will be opened by Sunny. I picked a room facing north as my bedroom on purpose so I don’t have to see the sunshine. But even though, the room will become bright once the curtains were opened. Sadly, I had to give up my plan to close the curtains and live in the darkness. No matter how hard I try to get rid of the light in my room, in just a few seconds, the curtains will be opened when I am not looking. After repeating the same thing a few times, I gave up. Looks like Sunny was determined on this.

At night when I lie inside the bed, I could always hear ponies moving in the hall way. I could hear hoofsteps in the darkness, coming from down stairs and disappeared in Sunny’s old bedroom. Surprisingly, I was not scared at all.

I couldn’t see Sunny, but when I wasn’t watching, the dishes will be cleaned. Or the bookmark in the book would skip ahead a few pages. I haven’t cleaned my room forever, but it’s still clean as if some pony cleans them everyday. It must’ve been Sunny. At first I felt strange when I feel some pony besides me living here, but soon I got used to it, and eventually I completely forgot about it.

The white kitten lied on the bed with his eyes closed. He was napping with his favorite shirt underneath him. He played with something, or some pony rather, I couldn’t see a lot. I stare in the direction he looked at, but I couldn’t see anything.

We had a lot of conflicts. When I moved in, Sunny had a lot of cat-shaped decorations on the top of her TV. But I couldn’t stand having any stuff above the TV at all, so I put them away. But the next day, they were there again. I did the same thing again a few times, but they kept reappearing.

“Putting stuff on the TV, that’s just stupid! If the TV moves, they would fall right? And they are distracting when you watch TV too.”

I said to the empty room, but I knew Sunny was listening. However, she didn’t really listen to me. My effort was in vain.

When I play music that I like, she would be annoying. When I use the bathroom and come back, I would find the CD being replaced by some classical cello or piano piece. Such bitter interests.

One day I was woken up by the sound of knives chopping. I went downstairs and found the breakfast ready on the table. When I came back from school, I went upstairs and put my backpack down in my room. When I came back downstairs, I would see a cup of fresh made coffee on the dining table. Sunny’s existence was that obvious.

But it was only a result. The coffee wasn’t made in front of my eyes. It appeared suddenly when I wasn’t looking. I was curious how did Sunny move the cup from the shelf to the table, did she roll it around or did it float in the air. But it’s the thought that counts.

Besides, it appeared that she was limited inside the house. When it’s time to take out the trash, the garbage bag would appear at the front door, packed nicely in a thick plastic bag.  It looked like she couldn’t go outside.

One day, the empty coffee can appeared on the table. “Ah, want me to go buy some more?” I thought, understanding her intensions, so I did.

Was Sunny a ghost? I know so, but it never felt like it. She never tried to scare me, or tell me how much pain it was to die. She didn’t appear half-transparent like ghosts in other stories, just silently and peacefully living her life like before. Instead of a ghost, I would rather say she haven’t got the time to become god yet.

Even though I couldn’t see, sometimes Sunny would make me feel warm inside. But I never mentioned the existence of her or the kitten to any pony.

One day I was going shopping in Pinkie’s car. The pink mini cooper was running smoothly down the country yard, and soon we drove past the small lake my uncle was talking about.

“I’ve heard some pony had drowned in there.” I said.

Pinkie’s smile suddenly disappeared. “Yeah… I knew him personally. He was a great friend of mine.” Pinkie held the steering wheel in her hooves, but it seemed that her mind had slipped. The car slowed down and stopped on the side of the road, and Pinkie closed her eyes.

“We had been friends since I was just a filly. The last day we spent together, we had a little… fight. I accidently drank too much, and said some hurtful words. The second day he was found dead in the lake. According to the police, he fell in when he was drunk. I wanted to apologize to him, but that’s impossible now. I would give anything to just see him once more…and tell him how sorry I was…”

Pinkie’s eyes turned a little red.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

Pinkie closed her eyes and rubbed her cheeks, “nothing, just got some sand in my eyes.” She lied and said, “Even though you two looked different, but he was a lot like you. He wasn’t good at chatting, so he gave up and decided to shut himself away from the entire world. He never thought this world could be nice or happy.”

Maybe that was the reason why he didn’t force others to drink. I went home and looked through the newspapers Sunny had collected, hoping to find some more information. I had also walked to the lake from time to time, hoping to see his ghost just like Sunny’s.

One day I came home and found my shirts washed and dried. I didn’t remember dong any of this, so I assumed Sunny did them for me. She cleaned them and hung them outside. I watched my white shirt outside in the wind, flipping and flying.

In the little garden there had been green grass growing. Sunny was taking care of them when I didn’t notice. In fact, it was the first time I realized that there were actually still living plants in my backyard.

Sunny liked plants. There were always some flowers in the vase, and there were flowers on my desk as well. I used to think these kind of actions ridiculous, to me flowers were just annoying things that block my sight. But I could imagine Sunny placing fresh flowers into the vase, and surprisingly I could accept her actions.

What was she really doing? She seemed to have a lot of time, and sometimes she would trick me. She would tie my four shoes together and make me frustrated, or flipped the calendar to the next month before this one is over. Sometimes she would put the remote into my backpack. I have no idea she was doing.

Once when I was making cup noodles, she hid all the spoons and folks. I looked all over the place but couldn’t find any. In the end, I had to use two pencils like chopsticks so that my noodles wouldn’t be soft and sloppy.

The kitten would sit next to me when these things happen, looking up at me like I was an idiot. In fact, I was. I could feel the invisible Sunny right next to me, laughing her flanks off at these small pranks. The kitten always followed her, so I could kind of tell where Sunny was. The kitten to Sunny was like the bell on the collar.

“What you are doing wasn’t like a ghost at all, do something scary once in a while.” I said to the empty room jokingly.

The second day my desk had a piece of paper on it. The paper was filled with words like “It hurt so much”, “Why am I dead!”, “I feel so lonely” or “I’LL KILL YOU!” but she stopped half way through. In the end she wrote “I want ramen too D:” That was the first letter she wrote me, so I kept it.

(Author: Ramen, not the crappy cup noodles, the actual noodles with actual shrimp, actual veggies and actual mushroom. I was lucky to have tried it once, and it was so good that I accidently bit off part of the wooden chopsticks. It was THAT good, I promise.)

After that I didn’t talk much with Sunny, but I felt like I could understand her without even talking, which was amazing. Every Sunday night, the light of the kitchen would be turned on when I wasn’t looking. And the radio would be turned on, playing some show.

There was a night where I couldn’t go to sleep. It was windy outside. I listened and heard the sound of radio. I decided to get up and go downstairs. I could see the light from the kitchen and the small blue radio. For some reason, I felt strangely calm.

Sunny was listening to the radio, but the kitten wasn’t here, maybe he was sleeping with the shirt. But even though he wasn’t here, I could feel that Sunny was right there, listening to the radio. The radio was on and quiet, and the chair next to it was slightly pulled out.

I suddenly had this vision of her sitting right there, holding out her hoof to support her chin, and listening to the radio while shaking her other leg. In fact, I didn’t see anything at all, but the vision felt so real and calm.

I sat down next to her and closed my eyes. The wind outside became stronger, but my heart was calm like a summer night. I tried to hold out my hoof to where Sunny was. I touched nothing but air, but I felt warmth. Maybe that’s the body heat of Sunny.

Chapter 3

It was the last day of June. In the morning the sky was clear with no clouds in sight. However in the evening it started raining, and I got home soaking wet, which was nothing to me.

I pass by the lake, which was empty at the time. The rain made it dark and hard to see, and the surface of the lake was covered by fog. There were no sound nearby, only rain and water. It was surprisingly cold for a summer day. I stared at the lake. This was the lake which consumed the life of Pinkie’s friend. The though spun around my brain. Although his body was taken away, but could his spirit still hang around here, just like Sunny? I found it necessary to look around here. I couldn’t see ghosts, but maybe kitten can. I thought I should talk to Pinkie about her dead friend, and take kitten here sometimes.

I started walking home. I imagined when I got home there would be dried towels at the door. Sunny would have guessed that I would end up soaking wet, and she might even have prepared some nice hot coffee for me.

This made me feel uneasy somehow. How long will this kind of life last? I thought. Eventually the end will come, and she would have to leave. She would have to go to the place where everypony eventually go. But why was she still here? Was that because she didn’t do so immediately when she died? Or was she worried about kitten being left alone and not taken care of?

According to the police, the murderer was a robber. The criminal was still uncaught, and occasionally the police would come and ask a few questions and leave. Sunny was a happy and nice pony who have a lot of friends, but she didn’t have any relative here. She was simply unlucky to have run into a robber who broke in. Like plan crash or being hit by a lightning, her death was simply an accident.

And there are plenty other sad things like this on the world. Just like Pinkie, I had no way to fight it. We could only stay on our knees and beg the god for kindness, and close our eyes, shut our eyes and curl up in the darkness, waiting for the grim of misfortune to pass.

What can I do for Sunny?

I thought as I walked home and picked up the dry towel at the front gate. After I changed into new dried and cloth, I took a sip of the coffee and felt a serious headache. I caught a cold.

I end up lying on the bed for two days. My conscious was blurry, and my head was so heavy that I thought someone had stuffed my brain with lead. My muscles were also weak like sponges. I became the world’s slowest animal.

The kitten would sometimes jump onto my bed. When I feel the weight from his little feet, my heart would become calm and warm. The kitten had grown so much that I should not call it a kitten any more.

Sunny had been taking care of me. When I woke up, I found a wet towel rolled up and placed over my forehead. On the table next to me there were a glass of warm water and cold medicine.

I didn’t even have strength to stand up, so I lay down and rested. When I was napping, I could hear Sunny’s hoofsteps, the sound of her making soup downstairs, and her hoofsteps coming upstairs together with the jingle of kitten’s bell. Sometimes I could even feel her sitting next to me, looking at me with kindness.

I had a dream in my fever.

Sunny, kitten and I were walking around the lake. The sky was blue and enormous, and the trees in the forest were covering over our head. We were showered in the warm sunlight, leaving three thick shadows behind us. The lake was still and beautiful like a mirror, leaving an exact duplication of the world above. My body felt light, each step makes me feel like I could fly even if I’m just an earth pony.

Sunny had a camera a bit too big for her size hanging around her neck. She flew low on the ground next to me, taking random photos from time to time. I didn’t know what she looks like, I didn’t know her height. But in the dream she had a familiar face, and somehow I knew that she was Sunny. She flew up and down, and hurried me to follow her. She was eager to see the entire world. She was curious of everything, and she had a young heart filled with adventure.

Not too far from us, the kitten was trying to catch up with his little steps. The wind blowing against our mane and kitten’s little musket, and it felt really comfortable.

The sun reflected against the mirror surface of the lake, and it looked as if the lake was filled with gemstone of all kinds.

Then I woke up and realized that I was still inside a dark room. I looked at the clock. It was midnight, and the towel on my forehead had already fallen to the side.

The dream was too beautiful that it made me wanted to cry. If only Sunny was still alive, but that wasn’t what made me sad.

This was a dream that I shouldn’t have had. It was a dream which was simply out of the reach of my hooves in reality. It was filled with sunshine, a place where i do not belong. I sat up in my bed and started crying. My tears fell drop by drop, absorbed by the bed sheet. After living with Sunny and kitten, I felt myself changing. I had this feeling that maybe I could live like anypony else inside a world filled with happiness, that’s why I had such a happy dream. But when I woke up from the dream, I found the reality cold and cruel. I couldn’t take this, that’s why I was so emotionally stressed. To avoid this was the main reason why I hate and avoid the real world. It was so that I could protect myself.

I didn’t notice when the door opened. Kitten was sitting right next to me, looking up at my face. Sunny was probably right here as well, looking at this sick coward who went to college. I felt her asking me while tilting her head, “What makes you so depressed?”

“I can’t do it… I can’t live like this anymore. I tried, I really did, but nothing turned out the way I wanted.”

I couldn’t see Sunny, but I could feel her sitting down next to me, looking worried.

“When I was young… in fact I am still the same, I was shy. I would not talk at any family meeting. I wasn’t good at talking at all. I had a little brother, but he wasn’t like me at all. He was always able to talk with anypony happily. Everypony liked him, loved him, and hoped that I could be just like him.”

“But I just couldn’t do it. It was impossible. No matter how hard I try, I couldn’t be like him. I was just too stubborn. It was impossible for me to please any one.”

“I had a pretty aunt. She was the sister of my father, and I really liked her. She always played with my little brother, talking and giggling. I really wanted to join them, but I couldn’t. There was finally once that she asked me something, but I didn’t respond happily and childishly like she expected. I could see the disappointment in her eyes. ”

I found it hard to breath under such pressure. I could feel Sunny staring at me, her vision reached right into my souls.

“I really tried to be friendly, but I just couldn’t make others accept me. Stubborn people like me were just not cut out to live on this world. I would rather see nothing. Living in a bright world could only make my darkness more visible. It broke my heart. I hated it so much that I wanted to dig out my own eyes.”

I felt warm on my cheeks. I knew it was Sunny’s hooves, but I tried my best to forget that feeling.

One day kitten disappeared. I waited until dinner time, but he didn’t come back still. I saw the old shirt he always carried around at the corner of the room, so I picked it up, folded it up and placed it on the sofa. He never took a walk around town this long. Sunny wasn’t able to leave the house or the garden, so she couldn’t go outside to look for the kitten. She searched everywhere inside the house, I could tell by how messy the room had gotten. She seemed really worried.

Could the kitten have simply gone missing? I sincerely hope so. I was really worried, so I started looking around town. The worst ending I imagined was that the sight of kitten lying cold on the road. There had been plenty of road kills. The idea made my heart shake with fear. I suddenly realized how important kitten was to me. Every time I turned around a corner and found the road clean, I felt relieved. After a while, I suddenly heard the honk of a car behind my back. I turned around and saw the pink mini cooper, and Pinkie was inside, waving her arms at me. I ran towards her.

“I had a cat, but it’s gone missing. It’s a white cat, have you seen it?”

“I never knew you had a pet before. I saw a cat earlier, but it was brown. I haven’t seen a white kitten.” Pinkie said.

She decided to help me look as well. I guess I did look really worried. She left the car at my place and walked around. We lit up two flashlights and search around town until it got dark, but our efforts were in vain. We had no choice but go back. The house was really messy, Sunny must be worried too. The TV was still on, and the floor was filled with all kinds of files. She didn’t clean up at all.

This is the first time I had allowed Pinkie to come here. She occasionally said she wanted to come over, but I refused with all kinds of reasons. We went upstairs, and when we came back there were already two cups of freshly made tea on the table.

Pinkie was confused, “What? I didn’t see the tea before. Weren’t you upstairs with me?”

I nodded.

“Then who made this…? Oh well, I am so tired. It’s all right Dan, you’ll find him eventually. Hey , you got any booze?”

I didn’t, so I went to the convenient store right around the street corner. Pinkie told me she was too tired to walk. I was a bit worried when I left her at my house. Not because I was afraid she might steal my stuff, there wasn’t anything valuable any way. I was worried Sunny might show him some creepy things. When I came back with the booze, Pinkie drank some and chatted a little. She went back to her place after that.

“You gotta let me see when you find him.” She said.

I nodded and closed the door. I started cleaning up. Without kitten, I didn’t know where Sunny was any more. I found the TV and the shelf moving. I guess Sunny had been looking for kitten behind them too. She was still convinced that kitten was hiding somewhere inside the house.

I walked upstairs into the photo room. The drawers had been thrown open, and all of the film had been damaged from too much exposure to the light. This made me remembered the peaceful dream I had, and almost turned me into a crying sissy again.

The kitten didn’t come back until the next day.

I was cleaning Sunny’s newspapers that she didn’t throw away. They were from years ago. The corner of the paper had already curled up and turned yellow. Why did she even keep these?

That’s when I heard the kitten meowing from the garden.

I had almost given up, so hearing him meow was like a dream to me. I heard him meow again and the bell jingled. After I was sure that I wasn’t hallucinating, the joy and happiness was so overwhelming that it had almost choked me and made my chest exploded.

I ran into the garden with no shoes on. I looked around, but I only saw tall grass and trees. Then I realized that I haven’t search the other side of the fence yet. The woods family lives on the other side, including Granny Woods with her annoying bike. Maybe there was a hole in the fence, and the kitten got through it, but he couldn’t get back.

Granny woods found me first before I went for her. She held the kitten tight in her arms. I almost cried at the sight, but I still managed to keep calm and took over kitten.

My brain was filled with thoughts of kitten, Sunny and Pinkie. When I heard kitten meowing, I made up my mind.

“I wanted to apologize, but he was already dead.” I remembered Pinkie saying again. She was remembering her friend, and her face was filled with regret and sorrow.

I decided to take another trip to the lake with Pinkie.

Chapter 4

The second day after school, the sun was setting and the entire sky was crimson red. The streets were starting to get empty, and there were no other ponies near the lake. It was windless, and the lake was still like a giant piece of glass, sucking in every noise. It was so quiet that I could hear my own heartbeat.

The street lights lit up one after another. The shadows of the trees became darker as the sun disappeared behind the horizon. I sat down on a bench nearby, and finally Pinkie showed up, jumping and bouncing all over the place.

“Hey! So why did you get me all the way over here?”

She walked in front of me and said. I moved over a little so she could sit down next to me. She saw the huge black bag I was carrying. Inside the bag there were sound of cat bells and animal claws scratching against the inner surface.

“Hey! Looks like you found him, congrats!”

I looked at her, “Pinkie, there is something I want to talk about.”

“Well… what is it?”

I started telling her about Sunny and the kitten, about how I moved in, how the previous owner’s ghost was still hanging around, how she couldn’t stand me not opening the curtains, how the kitten followed the invisible filly… everything.

The sky had gotten even darker. We sat under the street light motionlessly. Surprisingly, Pinkie didn’t interrupt met at all.

“That’s it?” Pinkie said as I finished up, “You got me all the way over here to tell me this story?”

It was obvious that she didn’t believe a word I said.

I looked at her with a straight face. I really wanted to tell her that it was just a stupid joke. But I can’t let everything go by like this. I think I should not ignore and avoid this problem anymore.

“When Granny Woods took the kitten to me, I suddenly realized something. For example, why had Sunny opened the drawer to the films and exposed them?”

“Sunny… that’s the dead filly you were talking about right?”

“After the kitten went missing, Sunny had made quite a mess in the house. There had been plenty of times when furniture was moved without me noticing, so I thought it wasn’t a big deal. I thought she searched the film room too, but would she be so stupid that she expose all of the film? I couldn’t imagine her opening the curtains and the drawer with all the films inside at the same time. It must have been done by some other pony. This certain pony lack knowledge about photo shooting and since film looks just like a normal piece of paper. She was searching for something, and had to leave when the owner comes back, so she didn’t have any time to clean up the scene.”

“Ha Dan, I think you are having a fever. This Sunny ghost joke is getting a little old, don’t you think?”

Pinkie jokefully said, trying to light the mood up a bit. But the dark and silent forest surrounding us made it quite impossible.

“Pinkie, why did u suggest us to get booze? Because you wanted me to go someplace else so you could stay in my house alone. You knew I don’t drink. You told me to go buy some booze so you could search my house.”

“Oh come on Dan, why would I need to do that?”

“Because there are things you need to get rid of. You took a film that day didn’t you? You looked around and found the film room. Unfortunately, Sunny had organized the film according to date in neat folders, so you easily found what you needed.”

“Okay Dan you are being a little mean now. Did you hear this from some pony?”

“Of course. When I wasn’t there, Sunny was standing RIGHT behind you. You thought you were alone, but you didn’t know that Sunny was with you the entire time. She must have been curious too. But when she saw you taking out the film you wanted, she understood what your intensions were. So she brought the newspaper to me, the newspaper that was published on the same date the photo was taken.”

I showed her the newspaper, on the front page there was the article about Pinkie’s friend drowning.

“The conclusion was that he drank too much and accidently slipped and fell. But the truth was, you killed him, Pinkie Pie. You made him drink a lot, and then you pushed him down. You guys fought the night before, which triggered your crime. Am I right?”

Pinkie looked at me as if I had just chocked her pet alligator. I hated this. God, why do you want me to tell these to my only friend?

“Dan, I think you might have some mental problem now. You sure you aren’t making this up? What evidence do you have?”

I showed her a photo taken by Sunny. Luckily, Sunny usually makes a photo right after she got the film. Before I came here, I compared all of the film with photos, and found the one that was missing. The photo was a picture of the lake, and it was a nice sunny morning. Next to the lake there was a cute pink mini cooper.

“This is your car Pinkie, parked right next to the lake on the day the ‘accident’ happened. The license plate was clearly visible. You knew you got caught on a photo, and you were afraid that she find out about this and show the photo to the police. Your friend had seen you fighting with him. If the police asked you why you didn’t help when you watched your friend drown, you wouldn’t be able to explain it. So you tried to get rid of the film.”

Pinkie looked at me silently, her iris reflecting the dark forest.

“What happened next… please listen calmly Pinkie. I really hope I was just overthinking, but you followed her into her house and brought a knife with you. You threatened her at the front door. At first you only wanted the film, but Sunny refused. So you killed her. Maybe you wore sunglasses or some kind of disguise, so she didn't recognize you right away.”

The atmosphere was creepy. I felt my back and my spine was getting sweaty.

“You got away with killing her. Because there was no witness, so you didn’t get caught. However, you still wanted to get rid of the film. The police didn’t find it, and they considered the crime a robbery. You must have been relieved. Sunny was dead so she couldn’t tell the police about it, and if you can find and destroy the film, the whole thing would be over. But because occasionally police patrols around here, you couldn’t just break in and look for the film. That’s when I moved in.”

I took a deep breath and continued.

“I didn’t know what you wanted when you first became friends with me. Maybe you thought it was just fun, or maybe you thought getting close to me would give you a chance to get rid of the films once for all. You couldn’t give up the chance to destroy the last evidence.”

Pinkie closed her eyes and turned her head towards the neck.

“I didn’t know how you felt about the friend whom you killed. But when you talked about it on the car, your sorrow didn’t seem faked. If you really regret it, I think you should confess. That’s why I told you to come here.”

Pinkie stood up, “Dan, you really need help. You are making up things.”

The kitten inside the bag meowed.

“Pinkie, remember the night when you helped me look for him? I asked you ‘I had a cat, but it’s gone missing. It’s a white cat, have you seen it?’ and you answered ‘I haven’t seen a white kitten.’ ”

“Yeah I remember. What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t realize anything wrong at first either. Because even though he had grown into an adult cat, I still call him ‘kitten’. But when I told you about him, I said cat, not kitten. You knew it was a kitten because you have seen it before. It was March the fifth, the day Sunny was murdered. You were right there in the hall way, and you saw the white kitten next to her, and you remembered it. That’s why when I said I have a white cat you assumed that it was the same kitten Sunny had.”

Pinkie shook her head as if she wanted to get rid of something in her brain, “Even if that’s my car on the photo, the date could be faked. Do you really believe in ghost or spirits?”

The kitten meowed once again. Its bell jingled.

“Good thing I found him.”

I put the bag in front of her and opened it, making sure that she could see everything inside. The bag was empty, and there was nothing inside. No kitten, no bells. I put my hoof inside the bag and I could feel warmth. Not like I have touched anything warm, there was just a sphere of warm air inside.

Sound of cat meowing and bell jingling came out from the empty bag.

“Sorry kitten. You can come out now.”

The invisible kitten jumped out from the bag and landed on the bench. He was invisible, so I could only guess where he was from the bell. Pinkie’s eye opened up wide from the sight, then she sat down and covered her face with her hooves.

Yesterday Granny Woods brought the dead kitten to me. She was at the edge of tears, confessing to me that the break on her bike was broken and she couldn’t dodge the kitten who suddenly jumped onto the road in front of her.

Sunny and I were both very sad about this, but then something incredible happened. The shirt I folded up had magically opened up on the floor as if kitten was still playing with it. I could even hear him meowing and the bell on the collar jingling, but he was invisible. Then I knew that he had come back, even though he was invisible just like Sunny.

Chapter 5 (Ending)

Pinkie hadn’t come back to school for a week now.

I couldn’t get up from bed. When I realized it was because the curtain wasn’t opened by Sunny any more, I felt a deep hole of sorrow inside my heart.

I got out of bed and walked around with bare hooves. The house was quiet. All I could hear was the sound of the engine of the fridge running.

Suddenly I heard the kitten meow. He was like a child who couldn’t find his parents, running around the house looking at room after room. I knew that Sunny had left.

The kitten couldn’t find Sunny. To him, today was the first day he actually left his true owner.

I sat down on the chair. On the table there was the small radio that Sunny used. I sat there, missing her.

I knew this day would come long time ago. I knew I would be depressed too, and I knew what would happen next. Everything would go back to normal, and it would go just as I planned. I could close the windows and curtains, and live inside a dark room like a dead body inside a coffin. Then nothing sad will ever happen.

I was in pain because I had started connecting to the world. If I don’t see anypony, then I won’t be jealous, angry or those negative emotions. If I hadn’t been so close to Sunny, our departure won’t be so painful either.

She was murdered. How did she feel after she was dead? Had she ever cried because of what happened to her? Thinking about these made my heart shatter into pieces.

I wished that I would give half of my life to her. In fact, if she could come back to life, I wouldn’t mind giving all of my life to her. If I could see her living with kitten happily ever after, I wouldn’t mind being dead.

Why am I still alive? Why did she die? Why wasn’t it me?

After a long while, I finally noticed a letter on the table. I jumped out of the chair, knocking it over and grabbed onto the letter for my dear life. It was Sunny’s hoof writing on the front. Receiver was my name, and the sender was Sunny Wings.

I opened the letter with shaking hooves. Inside was a photo and a letter.

I looked at the photo. It was a picture of me sleeping with kitten. I had a smile on my face, more peaceful than anything I had ever seen. It’s not like looking into a mirror, because I couldn’t see myself being so happy. It’s from Sunny’s eyes, from her perspective of life, and recorded into the form of a photo.

I started reading. I felt tears ran down my cheeks.

“Sorry, I took a photo of you sleeping without asking you. But you were just so adorable, I couldn’t help it.

This is the first time I actually write a serious letter. This is weird. I don’t know when, but from some point it was like our soul had connected. I didn’t even need to write to let you know what I need. Thinking back, I found it incredible that us three: you, me, and kitten had been living together for such long time.

But I had to leave. I really wanted to stay here with you and kitten, but I just can’t. I am really sorry.

You have no idea how thankful I am to you, do you? Even though I am dead, but everyday was happy. So, I am glad that I have met you. I thank god for giving me such a great chance. I knew in between us there was no giving or taking, we just lived our life together, but that was enough. Nothing could be happier to me, somepony who didn’t have any relative and well, was already dead. Besides, you never peak around in my room, or mess the entire place up.

It’s so sad that kitten died. Maybe he hadn’t realized that he was dead already. But soon he will find out, and he would want to leave you as well. But when the time comes, I hope you won’t be as depressed.

Kitten and I never felt we were that unfortunate. It’s true that there are a lot of sad things in the world. And of course I had thought, if only this didn’t happen to me, how great would that be?

But there are even more shockingly beautiful things in this world. I have seen a lot of amazing stuff, and I was grateful for it. I was glad that I could be part of the world, or at least have some relationship to it. I felt that way every time I take a photo. Even though I was murdered, I still love this world, and I couldn’t stop it. So, please don’t be so hateful.

I guess what I am trying to say is, look at the photo. You have a beautiful face. You are part of this beautiful world. You are part of what I love.”

Kitten couldn’t find Sunny anywhere, so he had to turn to me. I played with him for a while and I heard him meowing happily.

It was summer break, I have no school. I figured I should clean the room and wash my laundry.

I looked outside from Sunny’s room. The summer sun shine down on the backyard, everything was golden and bright. In the far and distant sky, the sky was sapphire blue and the clouds snow white.

Half a year ago, she was living here.

She had a huge camera around her neck, walking on the road without any real purposes. There were huge fields on both sides, so enormous that it’s impossible to see the end of it. The wind was warm, and the air was light and joyful. Her hoofsteps was light and bouncy. She was smiling naturally. She raised her neck up high, waiting for the upcoming adventure. The road was going into infinity into the horizon where the blue sky and green field had touched. I was eternally grateful of her. Even though it was short, I was so happy that she stayed with me.

Chapter 1

I left my house and parents simply because I wanted to be alone. I eagerly wanted to go someplace where no pony know me and die alone. When I graduated I purposely picked a college extremely far away from home. I did feel a bit sorry for abandoning my hometown and leaving my parents behind, but I had a lot of siblings. It shouldn’t be too much trouble for them to lose a useless son like me.

To live alone, I need a house first. (Author: You don’t say) One of my uncles had an abandoned house, so I decided to go check it out.

In fact, this is the first time I had ever talked to my uncle. We chatted, but it was very forced and broken. It wasn’t because that we didn’t have much common topic to talk about. It was simply because I was not the type of pony who could become friends with another.

“I’ve heard a pony drowning in the lake not too long ago. Rumor said he got drunk and fell over.” My uncle said as he pointed his hoof out of the train window.

I followed his hooves. Behind the trees and leaves that were moving backwards, I saw the small lake reflecting the color of the gloomy sky.

“Huh.”

I immediately regretted what I said right away.  I should have acted a bit more surprised. He was probably expecting my shocked face.

“Aren’t you surprise that some pony had died?”

“Well no, ponies die everywhere every day, right?”

My uncle sighed as if he was relieved, back then I didn’t think much of it. Maybe he thought that I was lame to talk to, so we continued our journey without much conversation, which didn’t make me feel uncomfortable or awkward at all. In fact, I was kind of happy not have to come up with things to say. It was tiring trying to fit in a conversation, why don’t I just live alone in the future? When I walk, I tried my best to not walk in the middle of the road. I should just live the rest of my life with the curtains over the window, and I would be totally fine with it.

The house was a two floor wooden house. I trotted around it and end up where I started quickly, and I was happy that the house was tiny. It had a tiny front yard, and I could see some green hoses on the side.

I stepped inside and to my great surprise, there were a lot of furniture. I thought the house was empty and abandoned, but right now it felt like I have stepped into some other pony’s house.

“Had there been any pony living here before?”

“I rented it to a friend’s friend. She passed away already. Since she didn’t have relatives, no pony came and cleaned up the furniture. ”

It looked like uncle didn’t want to talk much about it, so I decided to shut up.

The house gave this feeling as if some pony was living her normally not too long ago, but then she suddenly disappeared. Old film calendar, posters on the wall, eating utensils, books, records… everything left by the previous pony who lived here was still in place.

“Feel free to use any of the furniture, since the owner is already gone.” My uncle said, and then he left to do his own business.

I walked upstairs and found the previous owner’s bedroom. The curtains were opened and the room was warm and bright. There were photos on the small desk next to the bed. I picked them up and saw a happy orange filly smiling at me. On the side of the desk there was a plant. It was still alive, and not dusty at all. It almost looked like some pony cleans up the place every day, which was quite strange to me.

I hate sunlight, so I closed the curtains and explored the other room.

One of the room upstairs was a dark room. Inside there was a lot of photo printing equipments. I guess the previous owner was a photographer, and she was pretty professional as well. I looked around and found a few albums with photos of kitties, puppies and happy children. I wanted to throw them away, but thinking that the previous owner put a lot of efforts into these, I decided to just shove them into the drawer.

I walked out of the room and found the bedroom bright and sunny again. I remember closing the curtains, but somepony opened them again. Could it be my uncle? I wasn’t sure. I convinced myself it was either he or the rail was unleveled, and I closed the curtain again.

I moved in days before the semester started. I didn’t have much luggage since I only need some cloth for change.

The first time I heard the cat meow what that day. I was just hanging around in the living room, and then I heard the meow of a kitten coming from a corner of the backyard. At first I thought it belongs to the neighbor, but then suddenly a white kitty ran into the room. Maybe it was hiding somewhere where I was first here. It looked like it was the pet of the previous owner, still living here even though its owner was gone. I watched it jogged around the room, the bell on its collar jingling.

At first I didn’t know what to do with him. My uncle didn’t tell me about this “buy a house and get a free cat” deal. At first I wanted to live alone, but now I have to deal with this cat as well. I wanted to just toss him out, but then I changed my mind and decided to keep him.

The second day, my neighbor Granny Wood came over and visited me. She stood at the door and chatted for what felt like years. I really tried to avoid contact with neighbors, but since she was already here I couldn’t just kick her out. She came over riding a bike that makes funny noises, and one could hear the sound of metal clinching and rubbing against each other from miles away. At first it was really annoying, but then I just decided to think of it as a new type of music instrument.

“I think my bike is about to break.” She said to me.

I think it’s already beyond repair. I thought, but of course I didn’t say it.

But when we shift topic to the previous owner I would find myself actually listening. She was a young Pegasus named Sunny Wings. She had always walked around with her camera, taking photos of the neighborhood. She had pretty good reputation for being a kind and position mare. However three weeks ago, she was murdered at her front door, and the murderer was still unknown.

She looked at the floor I was standing on. I realized that I was standing right where she died, so I panicked and took a step back. This is freakin cheating, my uncle never mentioned about this. It’s not even that long ago.

“She passed away so suddenly, her cat must be so troubled, who will feed him now?”

She said so as she left, riding her ridiculously loud pike.

I don’t see how the kitten was trouble. It was healthy as if some pony was feeding it every day on time. There were opened cat food in the garbage can, and they looked fresh. Did some pony broke in and fed the kitten?

The kitten didn’t seem to notices that sunny wings had left. He lived his normal life normally like nothing had happened. I find it hard to explain, other than the fact that the kitten might be just extremely stubborn and stupid.

But the more I looked at it the more strange it looked. The kitten acted as if somepony close to him was right there. At first I thought it was my imagination, but there were just too many strange things with him.

Sometimes he would look up at the air and raise his ears. He would also close his eyes and meow in joy as if somepony was petting him. He would also try to rub himself against the air, and then fell as he hit nothing. And then he would run around the house as if he was chasing something, jingling his bell. It looked like he thought Sunny was still living here, and he was actually surprised and puzzled at my existence.

At first he wouldn’t eat what I feed him, but soon he accepted the cat food I fed him.

One day after I came back from the school, I found the kitten sleeping in the living room. He really liked an old shirt from the previous owner, and he was using it like a small bed. I tried to take the shirt, but he quickly picked up the shirt with his teeth and ran away. He considered the shirt more important than anything else.

In the living room there was a TV and a small wooden table. On the top of the TV there were a lot of cat shaped decorations, but I have already put them away. The TV was playing a new episode of “My little human”. I turned the TV off and walked upstairs.

I left Sunny’s room the way it was and turned another room into my own bedroom. It felt a bit unusual to sleep in the bed of some pony who was already dead. Every time I walk by the front door, I would think about Sunny who died right there. There was no witness of the murder, but people nearby did hear her arguing with another colt.

I found the album left by Sunny and decided to take a look, and my mood immediately turned gloomy. Sunny seemed to enjoy walking around town and taking photos of everything she saw. She took photos of her happy neighbors, and the photos were filled with joy and happiness. She must’ve been a very positive pony, a total different ponyality from me.

I felt a bit hungry so I went downstairs and decided to get some food, but then I heard the sound of TV coming in from the dining room. I remembered turning it off, but now it’s on again. Was it broken? I walked over and saw “My little human” playing, the room was empty except the kitten who was sleeping on the sofa.

Same thing happened the second day. As soon as it was time for the show, the TV would turn on by itself even if I was not home. Even if I change the channel, the remote would be been moved and the channel would be change back. I thought the TV was broken, but it didn’t feel that way. It was almost like there were some pony who was watching me, and slip in and change the channel when I was not looking. And every time when the show was playing, the kitten would always jump on the sofa, looking as if he was lying against his owner. I felt like there was somepony other than me living here, who watched “My little human” and was the real owner of the kitten.

Sometimes when I was eating I could feel somepony looking at me from the back. I turned around, but I only saw the kitten napping on the floor nearby.

I always close the curtains. The sound of bird singing makes me want to shut my eyes. The only thing that could make me feel calm and peaceful was darkness and cold air. But when I wasn’t looking, the curtain would be opened as if somepony was telling me to open the window and let in some fresh air. I looked all over the house, but I couldn’t find anypony.

Once I was looking for the salt. I thought that Sunny should have it in the house, so I didn’t went out to buy any.

“Salt… salt…” I murmured. And suddenly when I turned around, I found the bottle of salt resting in the center of the table. It wasn’t there just a few seconds ago. It was as if somepony knew where the salt was, and they couldn’t stand watching this college newbie anymore and found it for me. And I could have only one guess about this.

It must have been Sunny. Her ghost was still here. Since she showed no sign of harm, I decided to not move out right now.