The name's Danny. I'm your not-so-average 26-year-old brony who just so happens to be going through a portal to another dimension... I'm getting ahead of myself. The story begins about 3 days ago, when I arrived in D.C. It was 9 o' clock on a rainy Saturday...
DannyBoy26 has logged on.
Hendrixal23: Well, he's here.
HalfwayToLuger: Heck yeah! LOL
DannyBoy26: If "here" is D.C., then yes. I am here. Got to go, I've gotta get to my room.
I typed my reply as my bus pulled into my stop. A large, 4-star hotel in The Capital of the Free World. Free World, my butt. The hotel room itself cost about $1000 for 3 days, for crying out loud! And I was here for a WEEK. Oh well, only a small dent in my funds. You see, I was kinda in a windfall because of an "oncommon" venture. I had created a cheap, easy to read comic-style version of Great Expectations. It sold like hotcakes, strangely. I had enough to buy me anything! Well, except happiness, of course, but that's a cliche. I paid for the room and took the elevator up to it. Muzak. I hate muzak...
i arrived at my suite, and was amazed. It was everything you could hope for. Queen-sized bed, den with couch/bed... thingy... wide-screen TVs, stereo, tables, chairs, etc. I went to the nearest outlet and plugged in my laptop. I then walked into the bedroom and turned on the TV. Satellite. Sweet. I decided I'd give the Hub a look. My Little Pony? Maybe later. I set the DVR to record it. I then went to the phone and ordered room service. I needed some comfort food. Just need some darn comfort, after what happened. Explain? My parents disowned me, my best friend hates me now, and to top it all off, my girlfriend left me. Sadness is the root of all splurging. Oh well. After I finished the food, I laid down on the couch and tried to relax. As soon as I started to drift off to magic dreamland, though, I heard a knock at my door. "Who the..." I thought to myself as I walked to my laptop and turned it back on. I went to the peephole as it was powering on, but no one was outside. "Must have been my frazzled nerves..." I mumbled. I walked to my laptop and went to the chatroom.
DannyBoy26 has logged on.
Drowly: so how's dc?
DannyBoy26: Beautiful, as always. I thought someone was knocking at my door, but NO ONE WAS THERE! OoooOOoh!
HamString: Danny, you're probably going crazy. MONEY MAKES YOU CRAZED!
DannyBoy26: Heh... darn straight.
I sat down and waited. after about 10 seconds, another knock.
DannyBoy26: Another knock... BRB.
I set my computer down and walked to the door. I looked through the peephole to be greeted by a large red-iris eye. I moved back with a start. I then spoke. "Hello?"
"Can I come in?" a youthful, quiet female voice said.
"Who are you?" I said, going to unlock the door.
"Don't worry about that, let me in before someone sees me!" she said, still quiet but more worried.
I opened the door, and was immediately knocked down by a blaze of white and blue. The door was shut, and I realized who was in the room now. It was a PONY. A white pony wearing purple glasses with a music note on her flank. She looked at me and smiled. "Sorry, but I'm a bit rushed right now... I'm kinda out of it. I guess now's the time to introduce myself." She said, walking up to me.
"Actually, now's the time to explain WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE DOING IN MY WORLD." I said, getting to my feet.
"Portal. Now then, my name is Vinyl Scratch." she said, extending her hoof to me.
"Well, my name's Danny." I said, shaking her hoof. "Now, what do you mean portal?"
She looked at me, still smiling, and took off her glasses. Those brilliant red eyes shone back at me. "Well, Twilight was creating this portal that was supposed to take people to Canterlot quicker, and vice-versa, so that she could visit her parents more often. I volunteered to go, and ended up in this hotel. No one else is on this floor, thank Celestia, besides you." she added, looking at me happily.
"And why am I special?" I said, probably looking confused and semi-frightened.
"I can detect people of clear conscience and friendliness. It's how I became a DJ." She said.
"Uh-huh." I said. Suddenly, my computer beeped. They were trying to figure out where I was. "Um, can you wait a moment?"
"Sure!"
DannyBoy26: Well, someone was at the door this time...
Drowly: pizza guy?
HamString: Grim Reaper?
Hendrixal23: Johnny Depp?
DannyBoy26: No, no, no. You won't believe me.
Drowly: try me.
DannyBoy26: There's a talking pony in my room.
HamString: Say what?
DannyBoy26: Yeah... Says her name is Vinyl Scratch.
HalfwayToLuger: A MLP character?
DannyBoy26: I think so. Says she was part of an experiment by Twilight Sparkle.
"Ahem? Danny?" She said, impatiently.
"One moment."
DannyBoy26: Gotta go. Bye.
DannyBoy26 has logged off.
"Yeah?" i said, turning to her.
"I think we need to focus on how to get me back home." she said, looking forlorn.
"Yeah, me too." I looked at her, and thought of something. "Do you like music?"
"Duh, I like music! I'm a DJ!" she said, her expression brightened.
"What kind?" i said, walking to the stereo.
"Techno, house, dubstep, electronica, normal stuff."
"Oh, okay..." I said, putting in a Deadmau5 CD. I hate Techno.
"Sweet, I love Deadmau5!" she said, looking like she was the happiest pony in the world. Frickin' techno.
I've gotta stop allowing strangers into my hotel rooms.
Raise your weapon, raise your weapon.
Tell me what you think. I hope you liked it. I feel like a Schadenfreude, because I love techno and I'm forcing this character to listen to it. LOL..
Daftly, I Try To Help Her
An hour and a half later...
I'm going to tear my lungs out if I ever hear another techno song in my life... She finally turns it off. "Thank you." I say, sitting down on the couch. She nods. "Okay, so you're here because of a portal. Do you remember where the portal was?"
"Next to this GIANT white column. Like, straight up to the sky!" she says, making absurd hand- er... hoof-motions as she says every word. I giggle.
"Okay," I say, regaining my seriousness. "That's the Washington monument. We should be able to get there in an hour if-" Suddenly a newscast comes on.
"THIS JUST IN! A large amount of people have gathered at the Washington Monument because of a giant conference! It ends... in two days! But why should you care? It's a boring monument! ALSO RAINSTORMS AND TRAFFIC. Peace out, suckas!" the bobble-headed beach blonde says, before walking off the set.
"FFFFFFFARFIGNEWTON." I say, stopping myself from cursing.
"Well, we're doomed. Unless, of course, Twilight tries to cast a spell to find me and then puts a portal directly where I am!" she says. Damn, she stays hopeful throughout anything!
"I doubt it. Going to have to stay in this hotel. Do you like wine?" I say, walking over to the mini-bar.
"White or red?"
I check the mini-bar. "White."
"HAY YES!" she yells, walking to the bar stool.
I pour her a glass of the wine.
"Ya know? You're adorable..." she slurs. She can't hold her liquor? After two glasses, she's a stumbling mess!
"Oh, stop it." I say, smiling.
"I MEAN IT. You... you're cuter than most stallions I meet." the inebriated pony says.
"Nah... I'm not that handsome. I'm average. You should see Ryan Gosling! Now, there's the most handsome man on Earth!" I say. She giggles, gets off of the stool, and stumbles over to me.
"Well, he didn't offer to help me!" she says, putting her head on my shoulder. Note to self, get a room with taller chairs.
"True, true. I'm glad someone thinks I'm handsome." I say, turning to look at her.
"What d'ya mean?" she asks, raising her head off of my shoulder.
"Well, the only reason I'm in this hotel is because my girlfriend dumped me..." I say, my eyes drifting to the floor.
"I would never dump you." she says, sounding... less drunk?
"Really? We're completely different species. You'd have to! Unless your friends know how to change other things into ponies."
"They do, of course!" she says, even less drunk. Wow, she sobers up quick!
"Well, I'll remember that. I may have to go with you! I need a break from this place." I say, somewhat happy.
"BREAKING NEWS!" another voice booms from the TV. "The conference was cancelled on account of rain, and traffic is stopped. It's still raining, so don't leave your house for a day."
I look at the clock. It's midnight, so the day after tomorrow. Wow, that was a bad choice of words for a day filled with thunderstorms. "We can go tomorrow. Until then we're stuck in here. Want to watch Encore?"
"What's that?" she asks.
"Movies on TV." I say, getting up.
"What's TV?"
Dammit.
"You know, Willem Dafoe shouldn't have gone to that mansion."
"Yeah, Il Duce may have had a harder time getting to The Saints, though."
"What else is on?"
"Cartoons."
"Let's watch 'em!"
"Cool." I flip the TV to Boomerang. Powerpuff Girls. Seems fitting to allow this character to watch a show made by her creator.
We fell asleep sometime around 4:00 AM. I woke up with her head on my chest. She had probably fell asleep to the rhythm of my breathing. Or the TV, can't be sure. I turn off the TV and get out from underneath her. I made sure not to wake her up, and walked over to the phone. I dialed room service and ordered fried eggs. It was 2 o' clock, but hell. They brought the food, which I accepted at the door, and I brought it inside. She woke up as the smell of eggs wafted through the room.
"Eggs? Sweet!" she says before walking up to me and grabbing one of the plates.
"You... like eggs?" I say, which is a rather stupid question.
"OF COURSE! It's the only way I can get protein without being a cannibal or a slut..." she winks at me after saying the last words.
"Uh-huh." I say, sitting down and starting to eat.
"Ya know, this isn't that bad of a place! This world, I mean." she says, devouring the eggs.
"You haven't seen the worst news... This nation is in a war, people are dying of new diseases everyday, suicide, rape, murder... TOO MUCH TO HANDLE." I sigh, looking at her. "You guys don't have to deal with that, you're ponies! Your main goal is to create happiness and friendship!"
"Nah, we have war. Not but every 200 years or so, but... you're right, this place does kinda suck." she says. She then bursts into laughter. I do too.
Jesus Christ, I'm in love with a freakin' horse.
