Pinkie brushed a strand of hair out of her face with her free hoof, and slided out of bed. Her mane was darkened, and limp. She carelessly threw the covers on the bed and trotted over to her mirror. She wasn't smiling, she couldn't. Her eyes met with her reflection, and she slowly stretched out a hoof and dragged it down the middle of the glass. Wet, salty tears formed in the corners of her eye, and she let out a squeak as her hoof trailed along the wooden floor. The pink mare put her head down, and her mane fell long over her face like a silk curtain as she began to sob to herself quietly. Today was the twelve year anniversery of the darkest day of her life. Everytime she told somepony the story, she would portray it as a happy event, but only she knew the dark truth. Ever since that day, she had been empty, laughed and smiled, simply because she didn't wany to cry.
The day was when she moved to Ponyville after her friend Rainbow Dash's Sonic Rainboom when they were fillies. Sure, she learnt about parties and smiling, but she already knew hapiness.
'Hapiness is not just a feeling, it is an element.'
Pinkie closed her eyes tight, and liften her head up to draw in a large lungful of air. She gave herself a few seconds to cal down, before going out onto the balcony. There she went up to the failings and balanced herself on her two back legs whilst clinging onto the only thing to help her stay up.
"Where are now? ...What are you doing?"
Pinkie looked up at the clear blue sky, and let out a heavy sigh.
"Why won't you come back?"
No answer. It was then that Pinkie heard the voice of a mare, calling her name. It was Mrs. Cake. The pink mare slowly made her way inside, and slowly walked town the creaky wooden stairs. There Mrs. Cake was, looking at her from behind the counter with nothing but a concerned look plastered on her face.
"Pinkie dear, are you alright?"
Pinkie lifted her head up, and her eyes met with those of the older mares'. She shook her hair sorrowfully, and the older mare pulled Pinkie into a tight embrace.
"Would you by any chance be on your way to the rocks farm again, dearie?" The older mare asked, whilst still holding Pinkie's head close to her chest.
The dull pink mare simply nodded, tears once again trickling down her face. Cup Cake wiped away the mare's tears with her hoof, and rubed the young pony's back lovingly.
"You go right ahead dear, do what you need to do. Just be careful, OK?"
Pinkie gave the mare a small smile, and Mrs. Cake returned the small grin. The young mare then grabbed a few bits, and made her way out of the sho. The sun's rays made her coat glimmer. Pinkie payed this no attention, and continued on her journey to the train station. Many ponies stopped dead in their tracks at the sight of the cheeriest mare in Ponyville this sad, and asked how she was. Pinkie just replied by telling them that she was fine, and refused to let them walk along by her side. Others waved, and some smiled, but Pinkie didn't pay them any attention, not even a single glance as she walked the streets to the train station, where she saw a stallion behind the glass. He had large dark bags under his eyes, his coat was a ragged navy blue, and his mane was tatted and greasy. He looked up at her, with an emotionless stare. Pinkie hesitated at first, but then got her courage back and smallowed the lump in her throat. Luckily, the stallion recongnized her quickly, and got her a ticket.
"Pinkamena, Trottingham again, I pressume?"
"Y-Yes Crimp... Thank you?"
She slided a few bits through the hole in the glass, and turned away.
"Hold on a second!"
Pinkie turned back, and looked at him with sorrowful eyes.
"I was talking to some ponies a while back, and they said your name was Pinkie Pie, and that you're a party pony. Where does... this all fit in?"
He pointed to Pinkies mane, dark coat, and pleading eyes. A confused look appeared on his face in an instant. He slowly lowered his hoof back down onto the surface, and his eyes remained on the mare the whole while.
"It's... Memorial day."
The stallion's confusion only grew. Memorial day was for all of Celestia's troups over two thousand years ago, and the memorial day wasn't for another few months.
"Huh? Kid, you know the dates, right?"
"It's... For a friend. ... Out of town."
The stallion opened his mouth to speak, but soon thought against it. He gave Pinkie one last confused stare, before turning his head back around and re-positioned a few items in the booth next to him.
"Alright then, Pink... Whatever it was."
The dark mare once again turned back, and began to quietly trot over to the waiting area of the station. Pinkie fell onto her rump and sat alone patiently. She watches the leaves in the tree dance all together with the wind, and how beautiful they all were.
"Just like her." Pinkie said in a whisper, her voice shaking with fear.
She had been doing this for so many years, and each time, she got even more terrified than the last. Shaking her head rapidly, Pinkie then soon managed to re-gain her posture. It was that moment that she felt a small green leaf flutter down onto her snout. Pinkie smiles, and picked up the leaf with her hoof, and stared down at it with a small grin. Then, a small drop of rain landed directly in the centre of the petit nature child. Then another, then a few more. It was a light drizzle, but by observing the sky above, Pinkie could tell that very soon there would be much more.
The minutes felt like hours to Pinkie, but time seemed to do all but stop right before her very eyes. It wasn't too long before Pinkie's train came, and she climbed aboard. There weren't any other passangers on the vehicle, so Pinkie could sit alone in silencent bliss. She could hear the sound of the rain hitting the train's roof with a mighty force. Turning her head to look out of the window, she saw the rain trickle down the glass. Some staying singular, and others meeting to form a large rain clump. It expressed exactly how she felt.
Pinkie then heard the whistle of the train, as it's signal for leaving th station. Pinkie gave her surroundings a final quick scan, before closing her eyes and sobbing softly. She let out a quiet whimper, and turned her her back to the window. She dropped her body onto the seat, and let out a small moan as she felt the impact. Pinkie didn't pick herself up, instead, she simply lay there, still.
**********
It had been just over an hour, Pinkie still had her face down on the seat, but now she had spread her legs out like a pancake, and had stopped sobbing. The train suddenly stopped, and the voice of the constructor came, telling the mare that they had reached her destination, and she now had to exit the vehicle.
She did so, and left without a single noise. The train began to make it's way to it's next destination, just as Pinkie had taken her first few steps onto the rough gravel path. She strolled along the pebbles beneath her hooves, and soon found herself at the rock farm where she grew up. Being unable to see anyone anywhere in the fields, Pinkie made her way to the place she used to go to when she was sad or frustrated as a filly. Once she got the the area, she sad a small den, of which she had played in as a young foal. It had remained untouched for over ten years.
Pinkie blinked back tears and walked into the small den. When she was little, she came here before all the weeds and plants grew, and she met a filly, the same age as herself. This foal was identicle to her, but always in a state of severe depression. Pinkie would often try to cheer her up, but sadly, it never worked. But the filly was nice to her, and Pinkie returned the gesture, by making the small den for the two of them to play in.
_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_
"Pinkamena, Pinkamena! Guess what I did!" A small bright pink filly shouted with excitement, as another foal approached her.
"Isn't it great? Now we can play together in this, instead of just talking in the rock fields!"
The other filly was silent for a moment, her eyes wide.
"Pinkie..."
"My family is all cheered up now! I saw a bright colourful rainbow, and I got really happy, and threw them a party, then they were happy, then I came here and built this, you should've seen it 'Mena! Oooh, I know, we'll show my family! I'll race you!"
"Pink-"
"One-Two-Three-GO!"
The brighter filly wasted no time in speeding to the elders, and quickly zoomed back, bouncing all the while.
"Mom, Dad, isn't it good? I made it for me and Pinks!"
"Yes, dear it's wonderful."
"You need to meet her! She's really sweet!"
The young foal examined the area, looking for her friend.
"Pinks?"
"Now, now, we'll have enough of that." A stallion's voice came, belonging to Pinkie's father.
"But she was right here!"
"Come on honey, inside for tea."
"Yes, mommy."
And with that, the three ponies made their way back to their home, along the path.
_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_
"Where did you go? Why did you leave me?"
A singe tear escaped Pinkie's right eye. She had now lost all the tears that she was capable of shedding, and now could only frown and whimper quietly for her friend. But no answer. Pinkie had been coming back here every year since she moved away, on the last day that she ever saw her friend. Then she would sing the same song each year, hoping that somewhere, Pinkamena was listening.
"If someone said three years from then, you'd be long gone, I'd stand up and punch them out, 'cause they're all wrong. I know better... 'Cause you said forever..."
Clearing her throat, Pinkie took a deap breath, and began to sing.
"Where are you now, what are you doing? Are you in this endless sky?" Pinkie motioned he sky with her left hoof, and eventually lowered it to the ground again.
"Once again I've realized that I have lost the things that filled my heart." She closed her eyes, and opened them within a few seconds, then stood up and continued.
"How much you supported me..." Pinkie's ears went down, but her call for help went unnoticed.
"How much you made me smile." Pinkie let out a small smirk, and continued her song.
"The thought that I'd lost them was way too much to consider. Even though I struggled so desperatley to reach my hoof out and take them back, like the wind, they slipped through, looking as though they would reach me, but did not."
Pinkie frowned, and bowed her head down in sorrow.
"My chest was tightened by lonliness and despair... My heart felt like it would break, but your smiling face remained in my memories, always encouraging me to go on."
Pinkie then stopped for a few moments, and allowed herself to breathe.
"Please, we can be like that again. It will be alright now, I promise! And I'll be smiling by your side; close by your side."
Pinkie smiled once again, remembering all the happy days she had with the other foal. Her song then continued.
"Where are you now, what are you doing? Are you in ths endless sky?"
Pinkie took a few steps foward, taking her out of the den, then sang once again.
"Will you smile for me like you used to? Right now that's all I ask of you."
Pinkie didn't get a response, she never did, but it still saddened her.
"If someone said count your blessings now, for they're long gone, I guess I just didn't know how. I was all wrong....They knew better... Still, you said forever..." Pinkie finished sadly, and bowed her head down in sorrow.
"I'll be back next year."
She made her way back into the rock fields, and continued her walk from there, all the way back to the long path leading from the train station to the rock farm. But little did she know, a pair of sky blue eyes were watching her all the while, and a figure followed her the way back, as if guarding her. A dull pink coated mare with a straight dusty pink mane watched Pinkie cry to herself as she counted up some bits for the ride home.
"I'll always be there." The figure said quietly before vanishing into thin air like dust.
Pinkie's ears perked up at the sudden voice, and she turned to look for it's owner, but there was nopony in sight, but what was there however, was a single word formed with pebbles.
"Always"
