Cheerilee's Worst Day Ever
AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!
It was a boring day. Ms. Cheerilee wasn't teaching. The foals weren't talking. Nopony moved an inch.
"What's going on?" Scootaloo whispered to Sweetie Belle. Her unicorn friend shrugged.
"Beats me." Sweetie whispered back. "We didn't even do anything, did we?"
"Ah think it might have had somethin' t' do with what Diamond Tiara said about Ms. Cheerilee's new earrings." Apple Bloom replied.
"Probably."
"I can hear you girls," Cheerilee said through gritted teeth. "And I do not appreciate what you are saying."
"You didn't appreciate what Diamond Tiara said about your earrings, but you didn't speak up against her!" Scootaloo said. "Why is that?"
"I SENT HER OUT OF THE ROOM!" Cheerilee yelled. "No no, Cheerilee. Regain your composure."
"But still, all you said was, 'Out.' You didn't say, 'I don't appreciate that'!" Sweetie spoke up. "That's not very fair!"
"WELL THEN, HOW ABOUT I SEND YOU OUT OF THE ROOM, TOO?!" Cheerilee screamed. "THEN YOU'LL BE EQUAL!"
"Ew, and sit outside with her?" Scootaloo shook her head. "No way, man."
Cheerilee took a deep breath. "Okay. Whatever. Back to the lesson. When you add five and twelve, you get-"
"Miss Cheerilee?"
Cheerilee sighed. "What is it, Apple Bloom?"
"Ah have t' go t' th' bathroom."
"Go ahead." Cheerilee started to teach again. "As I was saying, when you add five and twelve, you get-"
"MISS CHEERILEE, WE'RE OUT O' TOILET PAPER!" Apple Bloom yelled from the bathroom.
"There's some under the sink!" Cheerilee called back.
"AH CAN'T REACH!" Apple Bloom yelled. "AH'M A'READY ON TH' TOILET!"
"Oh, for the love of..." The foals started to snicker. Cheerilee ground her teeth together. "Alright, I'm coming." She trotted over to the bathroom door, hesitated for a moment, then opened it.
"Oh, GOD!" Cheerilee shrieked. "It smells TERRIBLE in here!"
"Does it?" Apple Bloom replied. "Ah can't smell anythin'! Ah have a sinus infection, an' it's cloggin' up mah nose!"
"Well, lucky you!" Cheerilee screamed. "Oh, jeez! WHY?! WHY ME?! WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?!" She dug around under the sing with one hoof and held her nose shut with the other. "Here!" She handed Apple Bloom a new roll of toilet paper, then bolted out as soon as the filly took it. Cheerilee slammed the door shut and opened a window, breathing in the fresh air.
"Miss Cheerilee!" Apple Bloom called from the bathroom.
"WHAT IS IT?!" Cheerilee screamed.
"...Thank you."
Cheerilee sighed.
The front door to the schoolhouse flew open. "Miss Cheerilee!" Diamond Tiara shrieked. "There's a skunk out here! He's following me, and he's-" A black and white animal darted into the school faster than the eye could see and sprayed everywhere. "Oh my GOD!!!" Diamond Tiara shrieked. "EWWWWWWW!!! HE, LIKE, SPRAYED ALL OVER ME!!!"
"SON OF A #&%$*!!!" Cheerilee screamed. "WHERE DID THAT THING GO?!"
Wordlessly, Sweetie pointed to an animal cowering underneath Cheerilee's desk.
Cheerilee dove under the desk and grabbed hold of the animal, causing it to spray her in the face.
"#*$ ^$ $ @*^&%^%&$(#(%!!!" Cheerilee dropped the skunk. It raced through the classroom of excited foals and out the door.
Apple Bloom opened the door to the bathroom and trotted out. "Woah. Whut happened in here?"
"Skunk..." Scootaloo wheezed out.
"Oh." Apple Bloom grinned. "Ah can't smell anythin' cuz o' mah sinus infection!"
"Well, aren't you the most %$&$* lucky little filly alive?!" Cheerilee spat out. "Everypony go home. Just leave. Now."
"But there are still three hours left of school." Sweetie Belle said through her plugged nose.
"YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO TEACH IN A CLASSROOM THAT SMELLS LIKE A SKUNK'S @$$?!" Cheerilee screamed.
"Just use some of Diamond Tiara's perfume." Scootaloo, who had made a quick recovery, pointed to Diamond Tiara, who was cowering in a corner as if it would keep the stink away.
"My perfume's expensive!" She whined.
"Yer family's rich." Apple Bloom replied. "Jus' buy more."
"No!"
"Diamond Tiara..." Cheerilee locked the obnoxious pink foal in a death stare. "If you don't...I will give you detention...in this terrible smelling classroom...for the entire week...and I'll even close the windows so none of the smell escapes..."
Diamond Tiara let out a squeak. "You wouldn't dare!"
Cheerilee motioned to the foals who were sitting closest to the walls. "Close em' up!"
"Alright, fine!" Diamond got up and pawed around in her saddlebag, then bulled out a small, plastic bottle filled with pink liquid. "Here." She tossed it to her teacher, who caught it effortlessly. She uncapped the bottle and trotted around the room, spraying vigorously. Diamond whimpered.
"It's not working!" Cheerilee cried.
"Spray more!" Scootaloo yelled.
"No, don't spray more!" Diamond yelled.
"Just buy another bottle, idiot!" Scootaloo yelled back.
Cheerilee set the bottle down on the ground, then ran to the bathroom. "Air freshner! I need air freshner!" She ran back out with a can of air freshner and started spraying that around, too.
"Um, Miss Cheerilee..." Sweetie Belle said quietly.
"WHAT?!"
Sweetie pointed up to the perfume and air freshner fumes, which had mixed in the air and were now...something else.
"What?" Cheerilee stared at the fumes for a moment. "CHEMICAL REACTION!" She shrieked. "EVERYBODY, GET OUT, NOW!"
She rushed all of the foals outside.
"It's not going to explode, is it?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"God, I sure hope not." Cheerilee replied. All of a sudden, a grand piano fell out of the sky, crashing through the roof of the school house. Another one follwed suit directly after. The walls of the school caved in, and the building collapsed.
Cheerilee sighed. "Well...I guess it can't explode now..." And then the building exploded.
Derpy swooped down above the flames. "Um...sorry."
Cheerilee ground her teeth together again. "What. The #^$%. HAPPENED?"
Derpy shrugged. "I just don't know what went wrong."
Cheerilee bent her head back to the sky and screamed.
