This is the edited version of the submission. I went through and fixed any glaring mistakes, and changed a couple lines I didn't think flowed well, but kept most of it intact. The next chapter is the unedited submission.
“Isn’t this exciting, Maud!?” Pinkie exclaimed. The joyous, pink pony was bouncing her way up and down the deck of the Eclipse. Her excitement was almost palpable as she bounded up to the other passengers, further spreading her merriment with anypony that would stop to listen before returning to her stoic sister. “A whole week at Horseshoe Bay, just the two of us, what could possibly make this any better!?”
Maud was huddled in the shade of an awning. She groaned as the enormous, wooden ship swayed with the gentle waves lapping at her keel. The gray pony’s eyes were sealed shut as she desperately wished to withdraw her perceptions back within herself, and ignore the raucous cacophony rampaging through her stomach. Her dark blue dress was stained with signs of sweat, and rumpled as she further curled into a ball.
“Not a thing Pink-hurghk,” she attempted to say, before making a mad dash to the railing and pitching over its side, expelling the remains of the pre-vacation cupcakes that Pinkie had brought along.
“Awww,” Pinkie sighed empathetically, as she began to run a hoof along her older sister’s back, “still not feeling well?”
“N-no,” the gray mare gasped, trying to ignore the sour taste spreading across her tongue.
“It’s too bad everypony else got called off to help out with that drought in Appleoosa, Twilights got one hay of a seasickness spell.” The pink pony adopted a guilty look, and began staring at the deck. “I’m so sorry, Maud, if I’d known you got like this on boats, I would never have-“
“Believe me, Pinkie, I’m grateful,” Maud interrupted. “It’s nice to get away from the farm every once in a while, but I just wish that this thing was a bit more-“
“Rock solid?” Pinkie offered, a big grin spreading across her face in anticipation for her sister’s reaction.
Maud slowly turned her head toward the other mare, retaining her reticent expression as she processed the pun. Pinkie’s gaze never wavered, and her smile stayed in place with statuesque resilience. The gray mare blinked several times, before allowing herself to offer a small grin in return, “Yes, Pinkie, rock solid.”
The pair shared a laugh, the pink mare’s loud enough for several other passengers to turn their heads, while Maud’s was drowned out in the boisterous chuckle. Suddenly, a worried expression plastered itself on the gray pony’s face, before it began to turn a sickly green. She heaved over the side again, further emptying her stomach of anything else that could possibly remain. Pinkie quieted herself and stayed by the ill mare’s side, continuing her gentle massage to comfort her sister.
The sound of waves gently splashing against the side of the ship was the only noise permeating the air. The two sisters allowed the silence to continue, both knowing it was one of the only available comforts for the stoic mare. Maud’s breathing began to slow as she sputtered a bit more into the sea, and allowed the calming lap of the waves sooth her. Maybe, with enough time, she could actually get used to thi-.
Suddenly, a booming voice cracked their comforting silence. “Good afternoon everypony,” a slightly staticky voice stated through a speaker. “This is Captain Cresting Wave, and I hope you’re all having a very pleasant voyage.”
Maud rolled her eyes as she massaged her temples, trying to assuage the headache encroaching on her fragile state.
“I’d just like you all to know,” the Captain continued, “that we should be arriving at Horseshoe Bay within the next fifteen minutes. So, if you would kindly gather up your belongings, we can begin departure as soon as we dock. Thank you for your cooperation, and thank you for sailing with us today.”
“Oooooo,” Pinkie squealed, visibly shaking with excitement. “We’re going to have so much fun, first we’ll get some of Horseshoe Bay’s famous pineapple juice, and then we can go swimming, and kite surfing, and playing with the little crabbies, and…” she continued on, rising to a fevered pitch, as the noise slowly devolved into a constant whine against Maud’s senses. She loved her sister more than anything, but there were times she wished that Pinkie’s feelings weren’t quite so important to her. At that moment, she just wanted some peace and quiet.
Suddenly, a particularly large wave crashed against the side of the Eclipse, sending the ship violently rocking back and forth. Another barrage of sickness struck Maud like a blow to the chest. She heaved once more over the side of the boat though, thankfully, there was nothing left in her to come out.
PLOOP!
Maud looked up at the odd noise, seeing a circular ripple of water immediately beneath her. Panic struck as she began rummaging through the pockets of her dress, but came up with nothing. A gut-wrenching chill jolted through her, and the heavy weight of dread settled in her stomach.
“B-b-b…” she began, the shock of what just happened settling in.
Pinkie stopped talking, and looked at her curiously. “You ok, Maud? Well, I mean, I know you’re not ok with the whole sick as dog thing. But you look a little…”
“BOULDER,” Maud shrieked, sending Pinkie Pie backpedaling in surprise. The gray mare broke down into a chorus of gasping, panicked sobs as she collapsed to the deck and covered her face in her front hooves. The stoic mask Maud usually wore was overcome with grief, and a cascade of tears poured down her face.
“Maud,” Pinkie exclaimed, worry overrunning her earlier excitement. She wrapped her front legs around the frantic mare, pulling her into a hug. “Maud, what’s wrong, what happened to Boulder?”
“He-he-I…” she sputtered, incapable of making a coherent sentence. Instead, she merely pointed a hoof toward the side of the boat. Realization dawned on the pink pony’s face.
“Oh, no,” she whispered, pulling her sister into a tighter hug. “Maud, I’m so sorry.”
The distraught mare returned the gesture, clinging to her sister with every ounce of strength she had. It was, unfortunately, a considerable amount as Pinkie gasped for breath, but allowed her sister to continue unimpeded.
“Pinkie-I-I…” Maud tried to say again, but couldn’t bring her lips to form the words.
“Shhhh,” Pinkie shushed her, running a hoof through her sister’s long, straight mane, “It’s ok, Pinkies got you, Pinkies here for you, it’s ok.” Maud’s sobs continued to drench the pink mare’s coat, “Everything’s gonna be ok.”
Boulder, Maud thought to herself, I’m so sorry.
———
The Eclipse pulled into dock a few minutes later. The other passengers conversed excitedly about all of their vacation plans as they disembarked, blissfully unaware of the depressed pony following close behind them.
Pinkie kept a leg draped across her sister’s shoulders, knowing no words could properly sooth the storm rampaging through Maud’s heart. What could somepony say to her if she lost Gummy? She would be inconsolable, wanting nothing short of seeing those cute purple eyes again.
She led her sister down the sandy beach, not wanting to rush her into interacting with anypony just yet. They were flanked by the ocean to their right, and a thick copse of palm trees to their left. The afternoon sun was beginning its slow descent toward the horizon, coloring the water in a warm orange hue. The lapping of the tide and the occasional splash of a random sea creature were the only sounds to be heard.
“Th-thanks, Pinkie,” Maud finally said after a few minutes, “I think I’m ok now.”
“No, you’re not,” Pinkie stated comfortingly, further tightening the hold she had on Maud’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry, big sis.”
Maud sat down on the sandy ground, pulling the pink mare down with her. “I-I-I know he’s j-just a rock,” she began, “but, after you left, sometimes he was the only one who’d listen to me. I’d read him my poetry, he’d stay with me while we worked, he’d be there when I studied samples, he was just… there.”
“You don’t need to explain yourself, Maud,” Pinkie cooed into her sister’s ear. “Boulder was important to you, and I’m so sorry you have to go through this. If there’s anything I can possibly do to make you feel better I-“
A random splash of water cut off the pink mare, and drenched the pair in salty water. The two sisters sputtered and spit the briny liquid onto the sandy ground, before turning to find the source of the interruption.
Just off shore, a group of multi-colored ponies waved a wall of fins at the pair, beckoning the sisters toward them. Pinkie and Maud cautiously approached the group of seaponies, neither having any extended interaction with the strange creatures.
“Hey there,” Pinkie shouted joyously, trying to make a fun first impression on the group.
“Hello,” they called in unison, creating a strangely calming chorus.
“So…” the pink mare continued after several seconds, “What’s up?”
“Did one of you say you lost something,” a purple seapony asked, “a rock, perhaps?”
“What!” Maud called in surprise, dashing down toward the shoreline, “You found a rock?!”
“Find one?” a red pony called, “I’m pretty sure it found me. Clocked me on the head a few minutes ago.” The aquatic pony swam closer, before lifting a fin and tossing something onto the shore.
Maud delicately lifted the smooth stone in her hooves, carefully analyzing every surface and facet of the rock. Finally, a grin bigger than any Pinkie had ever seen before erupted on her sister’s face, as she hugged the object close to her heart.
Elation flooded Pinkie Pie as she watched, tears of joy stinging the edge of her eyes. “Thank you,” she called toward the seaponies, “Thank you all so much, you have no idea how much this means to us.”
They all waved a happy goodbye, before letting out a chorus of, “Shoo-be-doo,” and diving back beneath the surface.
Pinkie pulled Maud into another embrace. More tears of joy wet the two pony’s coats, but it didn’t matter. The last thing she wanted for their vacation was to watch her sister suffer, and now, the two of them could have the bonding experience Pinkie had been planning all along.
Actually, she thought to herself, make that the three of us.
A Rocky Voyage (Unedited)
This is the raw, unedited version of my entry that was submitted at Everfree.
“Isn’t this exciting, Maud!?” Pinkie exclaimed. The joyous, pink pony was bouncing her way up and down the deck of the Eclipse. Her excitement was almost palpable as she bounded up to the other passengers, further spreading her merriment with anypony that would stop to listen before returning to her stoic sister. “A whole week at Horseshoe Bay, just the two of us, how can this possibly get any better!?”
Maud was huddled in the shade of an awning. She groaned as the enormous, wooden ship swayed with the gentle waves lapping at her keel. The gray pony’s eyes were sealed shut as she desperately wished to withdraw her perceptions back within herself, and ignore the raucous cacophony rampaging through her stomach. Her dark blue dress was stained with signs of sweat, and rumpled as she further curled into a ball.
“Not a thing Pink-hurghk,” she attempted to say, before making a mad dash to the railing and pitching over its side, expelling the remains of the pre-vacation cupcakes that Pinkie had brought along.
“Awww,” Pinkie sighed empathetically, as she began to run hoof along her older sister’s back, “still not feeling well?”
“N-no,” the gray mare gasped, trying to ignore the sour taste spreading across her tongue.
“It’s too bad everypony else got called off to help out with that drought in Appleoosa, Twilights got one hay of a seasickness spell.” The pink pony adopted a guilty look, and began staring at the deck. “I’m so sorry, Maud, if I’d known you got like this on a boats, I would never have-“
“Believe me, Pinkie, I’m grateful,” Maud interrupted. “It’s nice to get away from the farm every once in a while, but I just wish that this thing was a bit more-“
“Rock solid?” Pinkie offered, a big grin spreading across her face in anticipation for her sister’s reaction.
Maud slowly turned her head toward the other mare, retaining her reticent expression as she processed the pun. Pinkie’s gaze never wavered, and her smile stayed in place with statuesque resilience. The gray mare blinked several times, before allowing herself to offer a small grin in return, “Yes, Pinkie, rock solid.”
The pair shared a laugh, the pink mare’s loud enough for several other passengers to turn their heads, while Maud’s was drowned out in the boisterous chuckle. Suddenly, a worried expression plastered itself on the gray pony’s face, before it began to turn a sickly green. She heaved over the side again, further emptying her stomach of anything else that could possibly remain. Pinkie quieted herself and stayed by the ill mare’s side, continuing her gentle massage to comfort her sister.
The sound of waves gently splashing against the side of the ship was the only noise permeating the air. The two sisters allowed the silence to continue, both knowing it was one of the only available comforts for the stoic mare. Maud’s breathing began to slow as she sputtered a bit more into the sea, and allowed the calming lap of the waves sooth her. Maybe, with enough time, she could actually get used to thi-.
Suddenly, a booming voice cracked their comforting silence. “Good afternoon everypony,” a slightly staticky voice stated through a speaker. “This is Captain Cresting Wave, and I hope you’re all having a very pleasant voyage.”
Maud rolled her eyes as she massaged her temples, trying to assuage the headache encroaching on her fragile state.
“I’d just like you all to know,” the Captain continued, “that we should be arriving at Horseshoe Bay within the next fifteen minutes. So, if you would kindly gather up your belongings, we can begin departure as soon as we dock. Thank you for your cooperation, and thank you for sailing with us today.”
“Oooooo,” Pinkie squealed, visibly shaking with excitement. “We’re going to have so much fun, first we’ll get some of Horseshoe Bay’s famous pineapple juice, and then we can go swimming, and kite surfing, and playing with the little crabbies, and…” she continued on, rising to a fevered pitch, as the noise slowly devolved into a constant whine against Maud’s senses. She loved her sister more than anything, but there were times she wished that Pinkie’s feelings weren’t quite so important to her. At that moment, she just wanted some peace and quiet.
At that moment, a particularly large wave crashed against the side of the Eclipse, sending the boat violently rocking back and forth. Another barrage of sickness struck Maud like a blow to the chest. She heaved once more over the side of the boat, though, thankfully, there was nothing left in her to come out.
PLOOP!
Maud looked up at the odd noise, seeing the circular ripple of water immediately beneath her. Panic struck immediately as she began rummaging through the pockets of her dress, but came up with nothing. A gut-wrenching chill jolted through her, and an impending settled in her stomach.
“B-b-b…” she began, the shock of what just happened settling in.
Pinkie stopped talking, and looked at her curiously. “You ok, Maud? Well, I mean, I know you’re not ok with the whole sick as dog thing. But you look a little…”
“BOULDER,” Maud shrieked, sending Pinkie Pie backpedaling in surprise. The gray mare broke down into a chorus of gasping, panicked sobs as she collapsed to the deck and covered her face in her front hooves. The usual stoic mask Maud usually wore was overcome with grief, and a cascade of tears poured down her face.
“Maud,” Pinkie exclaimed, worry overrunning her earlier excitement. She wrapped her front legs around the frantic mare, pulling her into a hug. “Maud, what’s wrong, what happened to Boulder?”
“He-he-I…” she sputtered, incapable of making a coherent sentence. Instead, she merely pointed hoof toward the side of the boat. Realization dawned on the pink pony’s face.
“Oh, no,” she whispered, pulling her sister into a tighter hug. “Maud, I’m so sorry.”
The distraught mare returned the gesture, clinging to her sister with every ounce of strength she had. It was, unfortunately, a considerable amount as Pinkie gasped for breath, but allowed her sister to continue unimpeded.
“Pinkie-I-I…” Maud tried to say again, but couldn’t bring her lips to form the words.
“Shhhh,” Pinkie shushed her, running a hoof through her sister’s long, straight mane, “It’s ok, Pinkies got you, Pinkies here for you, it’s ok.” Maud’s sobs continued to drench the pink mare’s coat, “Everything’s gonna be ok.”
Boulder, Maud thought to herself, I’m so sorry.
———
The Eclipse pulled into dock a few minutes later. The other passengers conversed excitedly about all of their vacation plans as they disembarked, blissfully unaware of the depressed pony following close behind them.
Pinkie kept a leg draped across her sister’s shoulders, knowing now words could properly sooth the storm rampaging through Maud’s heart. What could somepony say to her is she lost Gummy? She would be inconsolable, wanting nothing short of seeing those cute purple eyes again.
She led her sister down the sandy beach, not wanting to rush her into interacting with anypony just yet. They were flanked by the ocean to their right, and a thick copse of palm trees to their left. The afternoon sun was beginning its slow descent toward the horizon, coloring the water in a warm orange hue. The lapping of the tide and the occasional splash of a random sea creature were the only sounds to be heard.
“Th-thanks, Pinkie,” Maud finally said after a few minutes, “I think I’m ok now.”
“No, you’re not,” Pinkie stated comfortingly, further tightening the hold she had on Maud’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry, big sis.”
Maud sat down on the sandy ground, pulling the pink mare down with her. “I-I-I know he’s j-just a rock,” she began, “but, after you left, sometimes he was the only one who’d listen to me. I’d read him my poetry, he’d stay with me while we worked, he’d be there when I studied samples, he was just… there.”
“You don’t need to explain yourself, Maud,” Pinkie cooed into her sister’s ear. “Boulder was important to you, and I’m so sorry you have to go through this. If there’s anything I can possibly do to make you feel better I-“
A random splash of water cut off the pink mare, and drenched the pair in salty water. The two sisters sputtered and spit the briny liquid onto the sandy ground, before turning to find the source of the interruption.
Just off shore, a group of multi-colored ponies waved a wall of fins at the pair, beckoning the sisters toward them. Pinkie and Maud cautiously approached the group of seaponies, neither having any extended interaction with the strange creatures.
“Hey there,” Pinkie shouted joyously, trying to make a fun first impression on the group.
“Hello,” they called in unison, creating a strangely calming chorus.
“So…” the pink mare continued after several seconds, “What’s up?”
“Did one of you say you lost something,” a purple seapony asked, “a rock, perhaps?”
“What!” Maud called in surprise, dashing down toward the shoreline, “You found a rock?!”
“Find one?” a red pony called, “I’m pretty sure it found me. Clocked me on the head a few minutes ago.” The aquatic pony swam closer to shore, before lifting a fin and tossing something onto the shore.
Maud delicately lifted the smooth stone in her hooves, carefully analyzing avery surface and facet of the rock. Finally, a grin bigger than any Pinkie had ever seen before erupted on her sister’s face as she hugged the object close to her heart.
Elation flooded Pinkie Pie as she watched, a single tear of joy stinging the edge of her eyes. “Thank you,” she called toward the seaponies, “Thank you all so much, you have no idea how much this means to us.”
They all waved a happy goodbye, before letting a chorus of, “Shoo-be-doo,” and diving back beneath the surface.
Pinkie pulled Maud into another embrace, and the joy the two felt was completely palpable. More tears of joy wet the two pony’s coat, but it didn’t matter. The last thing she wanted for their vacation was to watch her sister suffer, and now, the two of them could have the bonding experience Pinkie had been planning all along.
Actually, she thought to herself, make that the three of us.
