Apologize

by Maple Sunrise

Rating: everyone
Tags: Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Romance, Original Character
Length: 3617

A shipping fic based on the song Apologize by One Republic.

First person X Applejack

I just felt like writing a fic based on a song. Also a challenge by a friend of mine. :Challengeaccepted:

Anyawy, have fun reading guys. Felt good writing it.

Published 2012-05-20 03:04:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-20 03:04:02 UTC

Apologize

We shouldn’t have fought. If I had never asked for a talk about what I saw that day, I wouldn’t be hanging here. To be precise I was biting a rope that had been conveniently been lying around when the cliff face collapsed. Hanging wasn’t that bad. I could hold onto that rope for hours on end. Only problem was that I didn’t want to. But the ground below my hooves were roughly 10 feet. If I let go, it would most likely result in some fractured, or some broken bones at the very worst. But then there was another problem.

It was just a 10 foot drop. If I let go, I’d sustain minor injuries. But that wouldn’t be guaranteed. Say, I slip upon landing. It was by Tartarus’ luck that there was a hill below me. If I let go, the chances of me losing my hoofing upon impact and tumbling down the hill was great. It would result in even serious injuries, worse still, death.

The orange-coated Earth pony, the so-called Element of Honesty, had thrown one end of the rope at me when the cliff face collapsed, bringing me down with it as well. Had Applejack not been there, I would already be dead. I wasn’t really surprised that the cliff near Sweet Apple Acres was fragile. It was old. Worn out by centuries of gravity and wind erosion. Applejack had tied one of the rope to a pipe protruding from the ground.

I just held on. Held on to a rope, 10 feet off the ground. Being an earth pony had its advantages and disadvantages. I had more of the latter. I could hear Applejack was mumbling words like sorry. I could hear them well, but some of them were not what I wanted to hear. I heard them anyway, knowing that I couldn’t say anything about what she was saying.

I was relatively new to Ponyville, having recently moving from Trottingham a couple of weeks back. I was just another regular face in the crowd back in Trottingham. Ponies would see my red mane, light brown coat and deep blue eyes and would forget about it the moment they no longer see it. Some would remember the eyes. I’ve been told I had wonderful eyes.

Being new in Ponyville, I tried to keep a low profile for the time being. It didn’t last long as this pink pony started shouting happily at me, much to my ears’ discomfort, saying something about being new and I deserved a party. With the cat out of the bag, I just went along. After all, I didn’t really do much after unpacking my stuff. I was just surprised someone would notice me immediately after I moved here. I shouldn’t be though. Not a lot of ponies move stuff out in the open at 7 in the morning. I liked being alone, books being my weapon of the universe, but when it comes to meeting others, I would put on the friendliest face I could and entertain them. I liked being warm and friendly.

So when the pink party pony threw a party for me, I had made a lot of new friends. There was the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony, which I didn’t really expect to attend my welcoming party. And the other ponies at the party were the townsfolk I saw often around Ponyville. Having made so many friends made me happy, but one in particular stood out.

There was this orange earth pony. I hadn’t really notice much about her, except for her mesmerizing eyes. I had told her how beautiful her eyes were. She merely blew a raspberry and waved a humble hoof at the statement, saying that many ponies liked her eyes. Those green pools of natural beauty got me hooked. I had seen the eyes of others. Some had busy eyes, some had boring eyes, but the majority had happy and friendly eyes.

I had started meetup Applejack more and more as I visited the marketplace daily. A small time baker, daily trips to the marketplace would end with me bringing home a sack of flour, a sack of sugar, and some butter. Applejack had a stall in the marketplace, directly opposite the stall that provided my baking materials. I had started visiting her more. At first we were just chatting up, talking to each other about all sorts of stuff. She often asked what it was like living in a suburban city and I would often ask about farm life.

A couple of days later, our relationship went from mere friends, to something way bigger than what I imagined it to be. She had developed feelings for me, likewise I had developed feelings for her. The longing for companionship was getting stronger, but I was the one who had asked her out on a date. I didn’t know how to react if she were the one to ask me out on the date, so I asked her out. She grinned that same adorable grin that I loved seeing. She nodded and said, “It’s a date.”

The date wasn’t really anything that special. I had booked a table for two at this restaurant that had an extensive menu, ranging from fish to pastries to fruit salads. The two of us didn’t really care about the menu at the time. We only wanted each other. We talked more about ourselves, but I didn’t think either of us were paying that much attention. We were both lost in each other’s eyes. Despite so, we both somehow managed to remember each other’s words. I wasn’t sure if it was done subconsciously, but I wasn’t going to spend the rest of my date thinking about that. After the date, I walked Applejack home. From the restaurant to the farm, the distance really wasn’t that far.

The only thing I hadn’t been anticipating was the two of us kissing outside her house that night. The feeling of her soft, sweet lips against mine left me wanting more, but I didn’t want to go overboard. Both of us had noticeable blushes on both of our faces. I kissed her another kiss goodbye and another kiss good night. She went inside with one of the biggest smiles I had ever seen and I left feeling giddier than a schoolcolt who had gotten straight distinctions in my year-end test.

She keeps telling me that she needs me. There was a part of me that wanted to believe her on her part, since she was the Element of Honesty. But at the same time, there was another part of me who said she didn’t deserve forgiveness. I felt like I was cut down. She keeps saying she was sorry, didn’t really thought I would say it was too late when I came to talk to her.

I kept holding on. Our date was only a week ago, and I caught her with another stallion. I hadn’t meant to.

It had been the day after our date. I had wanted to drop by, see if there was anything I could help her out with. I had thought of bringing a gift, so I dropped by Roseluck’s place to get some roses. Applejack seemed to like them, not just for consuming, but rather for decor. Which was strange for a pony like her. I had been trotting through the entrance of Sweet Apple Acres when I saw it.

The house was quite close to the entrance, my estimation being around 100 or so feet. But I saw it. The kitchen window was facing the entrance. It was quite early in the morning, which was when I thought I would catch her getting ready for her daily applebucking work on the farm. She had been kissing someone who I had seen several times around town. I think I met him at my welcoming party. He was a doctor. Couldn’t remember his full name though. He was the type of pony that would disappear and not be heard from again. But then by the time somepony noticed, he would reappear.

Which was disturbing.

I dropped the roses, and galloped away as fast as I could. She didn’t notice my presence earlier, which made me escaping all the more painful.

My heart keeps saying it was too late. She persisted. My brain told me to accept her for her mistakes, because nopony had gone through life without making mistakes. I didn’t trust my heart that much, since I lacked experience in such situations. Also maybe because I was hanging by the rope in my mouth. That made my thinking much easier. If I hadn’t been hanging on, I would have either forgiven her, or just reject her sincere pleas. This was giving me more time to think, though emotions from the heart and the logical thinking part of my brain kept clashing. Thoughts rushing through my head as I just hung there, listening to Applejack’s persistent apologies.

With the rope tied to the pipe, Applejack could have gone to get help. But she didn’t. Maybe it was because I talked to her about the doctor kissing her last week. I only confronted her this evening, asking for an explanation. I had gone silent for a week, not emerging even to greet anypony. I kept going through the emotional and mental clashes. I watched myself slowly go with the emotional side, before submitting to the mental side, before surrendering again to the emotional side. This continued until this morning, when I finally came to a conclusion.

I travelled to Sweet Apple Acres, finding Applejack sitting at the cliff near her house, looking out over her apple orchards. I had wanted to ask Applejack what she was doing, but what came out of my mouth was something entirely different. Instead of asking her like I had originally planned, I demanded her to tell me what was going on.

She had been surprised at first, either wondering how I knew, or just shock from being clumsy enough to let me know. But then she had fired back with a string of excuses, claiming that it wasn’t what it looked like. She had tried explaining. I had been walking over to join her on the edge of the cliff, but the moment I did so, a crack separated her from me, and my portion of cliff collapsed. I was clawing at the surface for anything that could have helped me up as the surface beneath me crumbled. But I couldn’t even use my hooves to find traction on the surface of the cliff. Had Applejack not hurled a rope, I would not have been so lucky to even be holding onto the rope.

I was willing to take another chance, just in case it really wasn’t what it looked like. I would take another fall for her, even if that means me falling and staying on the ground forever. I was willing to do anything for Applejack. I wanted to so much to forgive her, but my brain kept arguing. It was making me feel bad. I was willing to even take a shot for her.

I wasn’t as happy as I was the day I had met Applejack. Other than her alluring eyes, I had also liked her for her personality. She had the strong on the outside, but soft on the inside kind of character. I rarely saw such features in anymare that crosses my path. Aside from that, even after a whole day of applebucking, she would still be warm and fuzzy when talking to anypony, something I wouldn’t be capable of even if I tried. And I was sure anypony wouldn’t be capable of doing so either.

What was red with warmth, was now blue with betrayal. My mind continued conflicting with my heart as I stare upward with clouded eyes, at the mumbling orange earth pony. The evening sun was behind her, giving her a sort of glow, as she apologized. She was still mumbling apologies, dropping tears, with a glow that reminded me of an angel’s. I found myself mesmerized once more, like I had been the first time I had met her. But then the painful image of her kissing the doctor came tearing back into my mind. Even if she was sorry like an angel, and whatever it was that made me sure that she would be my one and only, I was afraid it was a little too late.

Cloudy eyes gave way to burning flames as I started regretting. It was too late to apologize. I was hoping she would tell by the flames, but she still knelt there, tears pouring like waterfalls, apologizing like she had make one of the biggest mistakes of her life. Not to say it wasn’t though. My aching heart was begging me to forgive her, to look at her. The look of complete sorrow and remorse painted across her face as she cried out her mistake. My brain fired back by telling me that a pony would burgle twice when given the chance. I knew this wouldn’t be the case for Applejack, but my brain was being persistent.

So immersed in the battle I was that I didn’t notice the rope starting to tear. I really wasn’t expecting it, considering how thick the rope was, but it was tearing in front of me. I shouted to Applejack to pull me back up. The shout tore her out of her sorrowful bout, and she tried to pull the rope up, but she was a bit too slow.

The moment the rope snapped, my eyes went from a fiery blaze to one of absolute panic as I tried to right my tumbling fall. I had let go of the snapped rope after realizing that I was still holding onto it. The 10 foot drop to the earthy ground below me wasn’t going by slowly, contrary to most cases like this. I had slowed my descent, but I wasn’t sure if it was enough to stop me from breaking my hooves. Above me, on the edge of the cliff and risking another cliff collapse, Applejack let out a scream. I couldn’t quite tell what that scream was.

I flailed my hooves around, hoping to disrupt the air, knowing it would be useless to do so but willing to do anything to save myself, when my brain suddenly found the chance to analyze the scream. A part of me said it was a scream of regret. Another, agony. Another, sheer sorrow. But my heart was telling me what I would believe was the truth. It was the scream of losing somepony very dear to them. I impacted the ground after that conclusion, and tried to dig my hooves into the soil. But the inertia was trying to keep me rolling, and my body just obeyed. It was Neighton’s first law of motion. Every object continues in its state of rest or uniform speed in a straight line unless acted upon by an external force. I didn’t see how that would explain me tumbling down the hill.

I felt my body, my head, everything crash upon the obstacles as I tried in vain again to gain traction upon the earth. I felt like I was going to succeed. I didn’t try to look up at Applejack again. I suddenly realized that it might not be too late. I didn’t want the last image of her to be of her screaming as I tumbled to my death. I didn’t want that. I tried to look back up. But that was the last thing I tried before my world went black as my head impacted a semi-boulder before I came to a rest at the bottom of the hill.

It was weird being in the black void. I could still feel the pain from falling and tumbling. I knew I must have been cut in so many places, it would have been impossible for me to get out of that alive. The black void seemed to expand forever. No matter what direction I look at, there will be blackness. I could see my own hooves though. Surprisingly, I saw no injuries on myself. I sat down on my rump and raised my two forehooves up to my face. My forehooves had taken quite a beating as I tumbled down the hill. I touched my face, tracing across it slowly. I couldn’t feel the spot where I banged my head, but I knew it must have been there. Likewise for my cuts. I wondered where I was.

I was just about to take my first step in the black void when suddenly the black void started flashing white. I had to shut my eyes as the flashing accelerated to the point that the black void was just whiteness. I opened one eye to look around, but as I did so the pain from the tumble earlier, which was absent, resurfaced and I groaned in pain. I opened my other eye.

I was moving, though not on my own. The evening sun was gone, and Princess Luna’s moon was rising up into the sky. I grunted in pain as I continued moving. I was no longer at the bottom of the hill. The lights of Ponyville were looming up in the distance. I grunted as I turned my head. My heart stopped.

Tears streaming down her face, Applejack was trotting, short of galloping, with me on her back. I wasn’t sure if she was being serious about her apology. I felt bad. Really bad. My broken hooves were causing me a heap of pain. I tried telling Applejack to go slower, but all I could do was groan out in pain. That didn’t seem to get her attention like I was hoping for. Then the pain overtook me as I once again blacked out.

The black void had returned. I sat there in the middle, thinking over what Applejack had said, and what she was doing for me now. I shouldn’t have been so hard on her. Even if I did catch her kissing the doctor, I shouldn’t have just confronted her about it. Maybe she was planning on telling me? Or maybe there was another reason behind her kissing him? Through all those thoughts, I felt the same thing Applejack had probably felt earlier.

Sheer regret.

Even after what I put her through, she was willing to bring me to safety. Anypony I know, if I confronted them the same way I did with Applejack, would just leave me, believing that I’m not really worth the trouble.

Amidst all the regret, all the pain, I hadn’t noticed the water leaking from my eyes. I couldn’t really comprehend what was going on right now. It was like the entire incident, within the past few hours, suddenly burdening down on my emotions.

Before I could think further, I woke up once again, this time my eyes blinded by the fluorescent lights above me. I wanted so badly to shield my eyes, but my forehooves were in cement casts. I shut my eyes again and slowly opened them before reclosing them. I repeat this process until the lights didn’t hurt my eyes anymore. I immediately glanced down to where I felt my side being wet. My eyes focused on the figure sitting on the side of my bed, head resting on my stomach, crying. I didn’t want to disturb her just yet.

I looked over to my right. A clipboard was on the side table. I saw the date. I had been out for three days. The wetness of Applejack’s tears on my stomach was pulling me back. I slid the cement cast out of the holder, and lowered my hoof slowly as not to bring the cement down. Damn, it was heavy. Applejack’s hat laid at the foot of my bed. I lowered my hoof just before Applejack’s head. I ran the edge of my hoof, which wasn’t bandaged, through her mane. She glanced up all teared-up, with a look of surprise on her face. The surprise soon gave way to relief, as Applejack threw her hooves around my neck. I knew it hurt, but I didn’t groan out. I wanted this moment to last. She was crying into my back, as I hugged her with my free cemented hoof. I couldn’t help but smile.

But then I remembered my decision. The one I made in the void while I cried. I whispered in her ear, “It’s too late to apologize.”

Applejack didn’t let go of me, but instead hugged me tighter, crying much heavier than before. The sudden increase of pressure against my damaged body was terrible, but I still had to tell her one more thing.

“But I didn’t say I wasn’t going to forgive you.”

Applejack let go, looking up to my smiling face, tears now running down my face. She smiled, that sweet sweet smile. She leaned in against me and kissed me on the lips. We kissed for what seemed like hours, when in actual fact it might have been a couple of minutes. When she broke off, she gave me one of those bone breaking hugs. Not that my bones weren’t broken anyway.

“I love you.” Applejack whispered.

My smile was much wider. Forgiveness was one of the biggest gifts I was able to give at the time, and that was exactly what I did. Made me feel better. Even though the pain throughout my body seemed severe, it numbed away as happiness filled me up. I whispered back.

“I love you too.”