Spike's Day of Sexiness

by Shadowflash

Rating: mature
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Lyra, Spike, Comedy, Random, Sex, Sweetie Belle, Main 6, Gore
Length: 1467

SPIKE GETS IT IN

A one shot clop-fic/troll-fic I decided to make to see if I can get feature box for how screwed up this piece of crap is.
ENJOY!

NOTE: DON'T TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY. IT IS A JOKE!

Spike decides to wake up and fuck Rarity. Can't get any better.

Published 2012-05-20 03:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-20 03:14:02 UTC

A True ... Wait, what?

A True... Wait, what?

A story by - Shadowflash

So, Spike woke up that morning and was tired as FUCK!

He stayed up way too late last night, and since he's a lust-fucking dragon, he decided to get his fucking purple scaled ass out of his stupid fucking bed and wake the FUCK up.

So, anyways, Spike woke up and shit, and started to run downstairs, slapping Twilight with his tail for no FUCKING reason.

"TWILIGHT I'M GOING TO RARITY'S AND SHIT BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I DO AND JUNK!", Spike yelled, as he ran out of the fucking door like a bawss.

Twilight wanted to protest, but, was too busy being a stupid fucking bookworm to do anything.

So, Spike ran down through Ponyville and shit, and started thinking about what he would do to Rarity.

Will I buttfuck her? He thought, laughing.

Maybe I'll give her a piece of my tail up her ass. That'd feel really good. He added another thought.

Then Lyra came out of fucking nowhere and was all like:

"HEY SPIKE! You have hands, wanna fucking help me out or some shit cause I'm a jealous bitch and stuff.", Lyra said, bouncing around Spike.

"No, fuck off, Lyra.", Spike then trotted down through Ponyville as normal and ran into Pinkie Pie, who was acting like a spastic coke fiend again.

"Hey Spike, where are ya'll going tooo?! Didn't you realise that today's my birthday?!? C-c-c-c-c-c--chyeah!!!!", Pinkie Pie smacked Spike in the face for no FUCKING reason!

"What the fuck was that for?", Spike yelled and smashed his fist into her raging hot ass.

"Ooh, Spike, you know that's my soft spot, c-c-chyeah!", Pinkie Pie blushed and Spike was all like

"Fuck you, Pinkie Pie", and then tried to run away

But, Pinkie Pie, being the spastic bitch she is, decided to follow the fucking little dragon in hopes to get some.

"Yo, Pinkie, wanna fuck off you stupid bitch?", Spike yelled and turned around, smacking Pinkie right in the face with his magical COCK!

"C-c-c-c-chyeah! Spike, you knowz how I like it!", Pinkie jumped up and down, ready for more.

Spike then pointed to the sky.

"Look, cupcakes!", Spike yelled.

Pinkie Pie turned around, and yelled with coke-fiend excitement, because that's what she does. Get's easily distracted by the word 'cupcakes'.

"Where?!?!?!", Pinkie jumped up and down.

Derpy was looking down at Pinkie Pie and going all like...

"Hey Pinkie, want to do it?", And Pinkie was all like..

"C-c-c-chyeah!!!!", And then they did it. Wow, never saw that shit coming did you?!

Spike then took this opportunity to leave the idiotic fluffy pink freak and go to Rarity's place.

Spike arrived at the Carousel Boutique and broke through the door, smashing Sweetie Belle's face in. Blood flew everywhere and Spike was all like

"Geez, Bitch, watch where you're going.", Spike then kicked Sweetie Belle in face and laughed as he ran upstairs.

He went into Rarity's room, slamming the door and locking it.

Rarity turned around and was like...

"Spiiiikey-wikey! My cutsie wootsie wittle dwagon!", Rarity bounced over to Spike, smooshing his cheeks together like some fucking creepy old grandmother.

"Fuck off, Rarity, it's time for my cock to enter your ass! I've waited long enough!", Spike then randomly grew an erect penis, cause he's a cartoon, and has no genitalia whatsoever.

His cock was so big that Rarity was forced to start licking it, the scales grinding against her velvet tongue and encasing his dick. Spike was pissed off and shit and decided to smack Rarity across the face and make her turn around. Her ass was ripe for the picking and he thrusted his cock directly into her putrid fucking abyss!

Rarity yelped in pain as she took it up the ass. Spike went so deep that he broke her rectum and was fucking her directly through her organs. Her body soon started to collapse as his dick broke through her esophagus and right out her mouth. Spike continued to fuck the mushy mess of blood and organs until he jizzed everywhere!

He looked at the pools of blood and jizz and was like:

"Shit, this sucks. I just fucked the hell out of Rarity and now all there is is this shit."

Spike used his Gene Simmons tongue to lick it all up in one gulp, eating it. He then randomly ate all of Rarity's jewels and gems, because that's what dragons eat. Jewels and gems. Got a problem?

Spike belched loudly and ran downstairs, his massive cock disappearing randomly and junk and he looked at Sweetie Belle. He decided to re-grow his cock and fuck her little body until she was a puss-pile like Rarity, and then he ate her organs, too. It was fucking DELICIOUS.

Spike was happy and junk as he fucked two of the hottest ponies in all of Equestria!

So, Spike went home and shit and decided to smack Twilight up the head.

"Twilight, stop being a fat bitch and do some real work around here.", Spike yelled.

"Spike, stop abusing me like the little butt-fucker you are!", Twilight yelled back.

They raged for several minutes, and then it ended with Spike shoving scaley tongue into her mouth.

They made out and junk and then Spike grew erect again, as before, and Twilight started to suck his cock. Spike was moaning in pleasure and started to thrust back and forth from her mouth. He then inserted his penis all the way down her FUCKING throat.

It broke her esophagus and exited out her asshole, and then Twilight turned into a bile mess of blood and semen. Spike ate Twilight up and was soon satisfied with himself. He looked around the room, laughing as he started to burn down the tree.

Fluttershy randomly flew into the tree house, along with Applejack -- Why Applejack randomly flew in, we'll never know -- and was all like...

"Hey, hey, hey, better stay out of my SHED!", Fluttershy smacked Spike and Spike was all like...

"Fuck that shit, you stupid bitches. Start sucking.", Spike then shoved his massive cock into Fluttershy's mouth. The pony shy'd and shit, and then Spike started fucking the two until their bodies collapsed as well.

This time, he ate them delicately, like a sir, and put them into sammiches. Because that's what he does. Don't argue, okay?!

After finishing off that shit, Spike rubbed one out. He then made his cock disappear and junk. Because that's how he rolls.

Spike walked out of the shitty home that Twilight called a 'library' like a baws, and it exploded randomly as he slowly walked out of it. The words 'Badass' came right next to his head and Spike ate them. Cause he was like..

"NO! FUCK THAT SHIT AND STUFF! I AM NOT IN A MOVIE!", Spike broke the forth wall and Pinkie came out of FUCKING nowhere and Spike was all like.

"Fuck off bitch.", And then Pinkie was like...

"No! I Break the forth wall around here, you piece of purple shit.", Pinkie then pulled out a grenade launched and shot Spike with it.

Spike blew up and Pinkie was all like:

"Chyeaaaaaah!"

And then Cole from Gears of War came out of fucking nowhere with Marcus Fenix and shot up some random ass locusts and was staring at Pinkie Pie, yelling:

"HOP ALONG THE COLE TRAIN, BAY-BEH!"

Marcus Fenix was like

"HELLS YEAH!"

They both high fived and yelled at each other as they rode the train through Ponyville.

"Fuck yeah! C-c-c-c-cocaine, baby!", Pinkie Pie then hopped on the 'Cole Train', flying through a random opening zipper, going to another land of fairy tales and shit. Pinkie Pie was a pretty fucked up pony.

A few months later, Pinkie Pie arrived on the movie set of Inception. She was randomly popping up in the scenes and fucking up screwing up Leonardo DiCaprio's screen time.

Leo was all like

"Yo, why the fuck is there a pony on my set?"

and Pinkie was all like

"C-c-c-c-cocain, baby!", Pinkie's white mussel popped out from a giant pile of cocaine. Cause, that's cool and shit.

"COLE TRAIN, BAY-BEH!", Cole from Gears of War randomly appeared and jabbed his Lancer into Leo's stomach.

Leo blew into a billion pieces and Marcus was all like

"OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!"

Pinkie joined in, and soon, Cole started to screw Pinkie for some dumbass reason.

Pinkie was moaning and shit and Cole was all like

"YEAH, BAY-BEH!"

Pinkie was like

"OOOH! DO ME!"

And Marcus was all like:

"Shut up, bitch!"

Cole ejaculated and then 9 months later Pinkie Pie gave birth to the mutant off spring of a child that we call Justin Bieber.

THE END