"Oh things are just going to be fabulous," said Aloe. "Before we hired Bulk, we were struggling to keep up with our expanding clientele. Since he will be taking over massage duties, Lotus and I are both hoping to go home with so much more energy."
"Oh yes," said Lotus while nodding, "I know ponies think that we must have the most calming jobs in all of Ponyville, spending all day in a spa, but it's ever so tiring. Sometimes, after a long day, I just want to soak in a tub, but when I even consider decanting the lavender oil, fluffing a fresh loofah, sifting the bath salt..."
"So yes," said Aloe over her rambling sister, "things will go great. I'm sure there will be some growing pains; having a stallion attendant will be a bit off-putting to a few of our more traditional clients, but I just know that he will fit right in!"
"... checking the pH of the water, pre-soaking the seaweed wrap, warming the mane towels, donning the bath slippers..."
"-and she had the gall to say that I was, 'Freaking out!'" said the cream coated mare. "Am I crazy? Is it normal to keep a human conspiracy wall?" She unconsciously shook her head, pulling her pink and blue mane from Aloe's hooves. "Ouch!" she yelped, "go easy!"
Aloe grabbed the pitcher of cool, flower-scented water with her mouth and muffled an apology. She slowly updended the ewer over her customer's mane, making sure to keep the water from flowing into her eyes. She knew that there was no real need to respond: Bon Bon just needed to vent. Half of her customers just needed to blow off steam while soaking in it. She looked over at her sister as she placed a stack of clean towels at the attendant's station.
The jingle of the bell at the front door grabbed both of their attentions. Aloe's eyes widened as Big Mac limped through. She scowled at her sister as she trotted to the front desk and greeted the stallion. "It's not fair!" she thought to herself, "Lotus always gets the fun clients." She set the pitcher aside and carefully wrung out the water from Bon Bon's mane while keeping a jealous eye on Lotus Blossom as she led a reluctant Big Mac towards the tubs. She wrapped up Bon Bon's mane in a towel and rushed over.
"-don't you want to clean off?" asked Lotus, "the water is just perfect!"
"Nope," muttered Mac.
"So just the massage for your pulled muscle then?" asked a crestfallen Lotus.
"Yup," replied Mac.
"Oh, well, you heard the client," said Aloe, "go fetch our new masseuse." Lotus grumbled and stalked towards the break room. "If you'll just follow me Mr. Mac."
"Yup," answered Mac as he followed her.
She led him past a pair of saloon style doors and into their newly remodeled massage treatment room. "Hopefully we won't have to remodel again," she thought sarcastically. "Lie down here please," she said, gesturing towards the padded table. She made a last check of the various oils, and made sure the small box of heated towels were still warm while Mac tenderly lifted himself onto the table. "Just relax and let our new masseuse take care of that nasty ache."
"Yup," said Mac as Aloe walked back into the main floor.
The massive pile of muscle that delicately made his way out of the break room could only be named Bulk Biceps. As he trotted past the tubs, he shyly averted his gaze from the bathing mares and their leering gazes. "He'll get over that eventually," thought Aloe doubtfully. She waved him over and put on as stern a face as she could. "Remember Bulk," she said.
"USE THE DOORS!" shouted Bulk, his volume belying his shyness.
"Well, yes," said Aloe, "but, do also try and keep your voice down."
"OKAY!" shouted Bulk before checking himself. "I mean, okay."
Aloe nodded towards the swinging doors and turned to return to Bon Bon and the other soaking mares. "He'll get it this time," she thought.
"MAC, BRO!" she heard from behind her, causing her to wince.
"NOPE!" yelled Mac.
Aloe turned to see the red stallion halfway through the doors reaching out towards her with a hoof. She stood frozen as he was slowly dragged back through the doors and out of sight. Lotus trotted to her side and looked angrily through the door. "That should be me," she said sulkily.
"Word spreads quick in Ponyville," said Lotus. "Everypony knows everypony, so it's easy to rely on word of mouth."
"It didn't take long for curious ponies to come in to see if what they had heard was true," said Aloe. She looked at her sister and shrugged. "Is Bulk a sideshow?" she asked, "well we didn't intend him to be. He truly has a gift for massage, and I think more and more ponies are finding that out."
"Well, some sure like him..." said Lotus playfully.
"And then I told Twilight that it was not fair to poor Spikey Wikey," said Rarity as she lazily swirled the tub's water with her submerged hoof. "The poor dear can't be expected to clean an entire castle on his own. She needs to hire some help."
"Oh, but I thought he spent yesterday helping you at the Boutique?" asked Fluttershy, her head just peeking from the surface of the water.
"Pshaw," said Rarity, waving her hoof dismissively, "Am I to turn down his offers of help? Do you want me to break the poor thing's heart?"
"No Rarity," stammered Fluttershy, "I just-"
Aloe watched as the pair continued their chat. They were her two best regulars: Rarity for obvious reasons, and Fluttershy, because she couldn't say no to Rarity. If not for them, the Spa probably would have folded before it every really got started. She left them to continue their gossip and checked on Bulk. "Is everything alright in here?" she asked while peeking her head through the swinging doors.
"Mmmmmm," mumbled a mare, her head and back hidden beneath a long, warm, towel.
"ALMOST DONE!" shouted Bulk, "WE'RE CRUSHING THIS SORENESS!" He dug his hooves into the small of her back and kneaded at the muscles beneath.
"Mmmmmhmmmm," said the melting mare.
"Good job," said Aloe, "but we do have a line forming, so we'll have to end this session soon."
"Mmm?" muttered the mare as she started to jerk up. The towel slipped revealing a bright pink mane and lustrous blue coat.
"LOTUS!" yelled Aloe. Her sister jumped off the table and tripped over her numb legs while trying to scurry back to her work. "Don't let her push you around," she said, "now, if you're ready, I'll bring your next client in."
"READY!" he shouted excitedly, "BRING IT ON! LET'S DO THIS!"
Aloe shook her head and walked back to the tubs. "Fluttershy?" she asked softly, knowing the mare was easily startled, "are you ready for your massage?"
"Massage?" asked Rarity incredulously, "Fluttershy darling, since when are you the massage type?
Fluttershy squeaked and scurried from the tub. "I, um, thought that... I mean... my neck was really sore and..." she stammered. "I'll be back soon," she said quickly while taking the towel Aloe offered and darting to the massage parlor.
"You think you know somepony..." mused Rarity as she leaned into the steaming water. "Aloe, would you be a dear and prep a seaweed wrap for me? My coat's been feeling so dry lately, oh, and a hooficure as well."
"But of course Miss Rarity," said Aloe in her most practiced, patient voice. She spent the next hour at the unicorn's side, first wrapping her with the warm seaweed imported from the Californeighan coast. While she waited for the seaweed to rejuvenate the unicorn's coat and skin, Aloe ran a file over Rarity's hooves, her practiced eye easily finding the chipped and jagged edges. With no Fluttershy, Aloe became the target of the unicorn's banter. She tried to listen, but was focused on dragging the hoof file and applying the polish. She had long since developed the talent to subconsciously sense the flow of a conversation and respond accordingly. She knew when to say, "Oh is that so," and when to fake an outraged, "I can't believe that!" It wasn't that she didn't want to talk with Rarity: One doesn't start a Spa if one doesn't want to engage in gossip. It was simply difficult to take part when you had a file in your mouth.
The high pitched squeal that echoed through the spa shook Aloe out of her reverie, and Rarity out of her monologue. "Fluttershy?" barked Rarity as she bolted upright in the large tub. She nearly tripped over the dangling strips of seaweed as she rushed out and towards the massage parlor, Aloe following closely behind. Rarity pushed the doors open with her magic and immediately stopped in her tracks. Fluttershy lay on the massage table, her legs splayed over the sides and a dopey grin plastered on her face. Bulk looked away from kneading the butter coated mare's lower back.
"FLUTTERSHY'S KILLING THIS MASSAGE!" he yelled while pumping his hoof in victory.
Rarity, looking like a horror from the sea, her left eye twitching, cut her magic and let the doors swing shut. After a deep breath she turned back to the tubs. "Aloe dear," she said, "where were we?"
"Can I get another thirty minutes?" she heard Fluttershy ask as she retreated.
"It was only a matter of time before we got some really famous ponies," said Lotus Blossom. "Not that Twilight Sparkle and her friends aren't a big deal, but they're new-famous."
"Yes," agreed Aloe, "Rarity came in with Sapphire Shores last week! Her stylists refused to let me touch her mane, but still, Sapphire Shores was in our Spa!"
"I know!" squealed Lotus. "I got plenty of material out of the drains for my Celebrity Mane Hair Collection!"
Aloe looked at her askance and shook her head in puzzlement. "Anyway," she said, "It's only a matter of time before we land the big one: The Queen of all Clients."
"Lotus, clean that drain!" shouted Aloe. "Bulk, carefully place that tray of champagne glasses by the tubs!"
"YEAH!" replied Bulk, "LET'S DO THIS!"
"Love the energy Bulk," said Aloe, "love the excitement, but for the literal love of Celestia, please try to keep your volume down!" She pulled opened an ornate chest behind the front desk and pulled out the delicate bottle of bath oil she saved for the most special of occasions. As she uncorked the vial the smell of dozens of complimentary fragrances began filling the large room. As she savored the fragrance of rosehip, jasmine, vanilla, and primrose, Aloe double checked the gorgeous flowers spaced all around the tubs. She dipped a hoof into the steaming water before nodding and carefully pouring a small amount of the oil into the large tub. The jingle near the door nearly caused her to drop the hundred bit per ounce bottle into the water. She quickly placed the stopper back in and dashed to the reception desk.
"You are the proprietress," stated a bat winged guard in lavender armor.
"Yes sir," replied Aloe excitedly, "My name is-"
"Aloe," he interrupted, "yes, we know." The guard strode past the desk and began inspecting the room. He poked his hoof in the flower arrangements and unfolded several of the stacked towels. "Princess Twilight Sparkle has vouched for your business," he said, "but we cannot take chances with Her Majesty's safety. I hope you understand that we mean no offense." He leaned over the tub and inhaled, his nose wrinkling in distaste.
"Oh, of course," said Aloe, "We're all so excited for the royal visit! Will Princess Celestia be here soon?"
The guard shook his head while tasting from the glass of champagne he just poured. "I should hope not," he said before taking a sip and swishing it around his mouth. "She should be halfway to the Crystal Empire by now. Did Princess Twilight not inform you?"
Aloe, confused and crestfallen, lowered her head and said, "No, it must have slipped her mind." She poured a glass of her own and downed it in one gulp. "I assume you are here to reschedule?" she asked sourly.
"Do I look like a secretary?" he asked. "You will be entertaining her Royal Highness, Princess Luna." Aloe's ears perked up just as the door bell jingled again.
"We have arrived for our afternoon of ablutions!" stated Luna as she marched through the door with another trio of bat winged guards in tow. "We wish to see firsthoof this 'pampering' that so enamors our sister."
"Princess Luna!" cried Lotus from the other side of the room, "Aloe, It's Luna!" She galloped across the room and stopped in front of the diarch, practically bouncing on her hooves. "Oh, you must let us style your mane," she said ecstatically, "you simply must!"
Aloe shook the shocked look from her face and grabbed the tray of champagne in her mouth. She expertly crossed the room and held it in front of the new arrivals. She would have smiled were she able when Luna happily took a glass of sparkling wine. "Now, good bathhouse attendants," she said between sips, "where shall we start with our day of relaxation?" She used her magic to pull the tray from Aloe's mouth and passed it around to her guards. "And we do mean 'our' in the plural possessive sense," she said cheekily, waiting for each guard to reluctantly grab a glass with a free hoof.
Aloe nudged Lotus with her shoulder, but failed to get the star struck pony to pay attention to anything but the alicorn in front of her. "Lotus," she asked in a raised voice, "would you please show the princess to the tub while I show the guards where they can place their armor?" Her sister swayed back and forth on her hooves, her eyes still vacant of comprehension. "Get to work!" she shouted, pushing Lotus towards the tubs. "I'm so sorry princess, we're just so honored to have you here, gentlecolts, if you'll follow me..."
The guards were reluctant to part with their raiment, but after stepping into the bubbling tub, they all but forgot their reservations and luxuriated in the warm water. Luna, meanwhile, was over the moon about her soak. "We think we like this better than the Railed Roads," she said happily, "such wonders in this new age..." She rested near the wall of the tub, her neck against a spa pillow and her ethereal mane hanging to the ground below. Lotus spent the next hour gleefully combing the through the gossamer hair, marveling at its luster and shear volume. "What other 'spa' activities may we take part in?" asked Luna as she pulled her mane from Lotus's clinging hooves. "We are saying that correctly, yes? Spa?" She focused on the soft "a" sound a bit much, but Aloe wasn't about to correct her.
"Of course your highness!" said Aloe. She placed a stack of rose scented towels on a bench and held one open for the alicorn as she rose from the water. "We have hooficures, and mud facials; seaweed wraps and sauna treatments-"
"Our sister said we must try a 'Deep Tissue Massage,'" interrupted Luna. "She implied that it was most relaxing."
"Oh, your highness, no" said Aloe as she helped the diarch dry herself, "wouldn't you prefer something a bit less physical, say, a nice hoof rub?"
"Art thou saying that we are of a frail constitution?" asked Luna imperiously.
"N-n-no your majesty," said Aloe. She fell to her knees and vigorously shook her head side to side. "Th-this way please." She led Luna around the lounge chairs and into the massage parlor. "This is Bulk Biceps, Princess," said Aloe while holding the doors open, "he will be your masseuse for the day. Why don't you lie down on the table while I help Bulk prepare." She led him to the other side of the doors and pressed her muzzle mere inches from his. "Do not embarrass this Spa," she warned.
"NO MA'AM!" he shouted nervously, somehow managing to cower before the mare a third his size. She narrowed her eyes and stared him down. "No ma'am," he whispered.
"Good," she said, "I will be helping Lotus with the tub." She walked back to the guards and began offering them more of the choicest flowers to snack on.
"THOU DAREST?!" shouted Luna. Aloe winced and turned towards the massage parlor in time to see Bulk burst through the wall and ran towards the break room, his great mass sending bits of tile and other assorted wall-material flying across the room. Aloe dashed towards the swinging doors, hoping desperately to calm down whatever had angered the lunar deity.
"Your majesty," she said, peeking her head through, "what ever is the matter?"
"THINE EMPLOYEE HAST BECOME OVERLY FAMILIAR WITH THE ROYAL PLOT!" she screamed, her face a thunderhead of anger. "WHERE ARE OUR GUARDS? TO THY PRINCESS YOU SLACK JAWED NITWITS!" The guards, now slightly tipsy and full of snacks, comically burst from the tub, tripping over their own hooves and dripping sweet smelling water in their wake. They swayed while awkwardly trying to salute. "WE MAKE FOR CANTERLOT," announced Luna pointing towards the exit. As the bat winged guards hastily marched, the princess hung back and leaned into Aloe. "Our sister tells us that we may no longer imprison ponies without 'due process'" she said darkly, her intonation clearly mocking the idea. "But know this, Celestia shall hear of how we were treated here today, and she will be as furious as we are..." She left the vague threat hanging and strode from the spa, leaving a wide-eyed Aloe standing alone in the center of the room.
Lotus pranced by, gently stroking a lock of ethereal blue mane against her cheek. "Sooooo pretty," she cooed as she made her way to the break room.
A piece of the broken wall fell to the ground, causing Aloe to stiffen. She stood there for several minutes, wondering if she was stuck in a nightmare, and if so, was the nightmare caused by Luna, which would mean that she really had upset her. She stared off into space, not even hearing the little bell jingle as someone entered the spa.
"Umm, excuse me," said Fluttershy while hiding behind her long hair, "can I get another massage please?"
Author's Note
Another Equestria Daily Writer's prompt, this time from the "Castle Sweet Castle" episode.
enjoy!
