Let's Get Serious

by peacevic

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3333

Princess Celestia's birthday is coming up, and it's Pinkie's job to throw the party.

In a somewhat distant future, Twilight Sparkle asks Pinkie to mastermind the glorious celebration of Celestia's birthday.

Published 2015-06-18 18:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-29 12:02:20 UTC

Invitations

Ch.1- Invitations

This is the story of the Greatest Party Ever.

"Are you sure?" The pilot was barely audible over the roar of the engines. "You're serious?"
"I've never been more serious!" Pinkie Pie shouted back. She started strapping herself in.
Despite his skepticism, the pilot pushed the button. "Ok..."
The bay doors began to open.

Let's back up a bit.
We'll start a week before the G.P.E. (Greatest Party Ever, silly.) Pinkie Pie was at the register in Sugar Cube Corner, helping a customer. It was the same thing she'd done since she started working here, even before she'd received ownership from the Cakes on their retirement.
"Boring! You'd think after that cold open this would be a lot more exciting."
"What was that, Pinkie?" Rainbow Dash asked, for she was the previously mentioned customer.
"Oh, nothing." Pinkie reassured her old friend.
Rainbow Dash shook her head. "I still don't get you sometimes. Even after all these decades."
"I know!" Pinkie bubbled, a smile shining from her face like a stage light. "Isn't that sooo fun?"
Dash cocked her head to the side, considering that. "You know, you're right. I wouldn't have it any other way. So when do you think my order will be ready?"
"Should be done in a few days." Pinkie replied, after consulting her mental schedule.
"Awesome. Catch you later!" With that, Rainbow Dash flew out of the store. Pinkie Pie started wiping down the counter, humming all the while.

A few hours later, Twilight walked through the front doors. This, in and of itself, was pretty unusual.
"Not that unusual. We are friends, after all."
The Princess of Friendship was so engrossed in the official-looking documents she was reading, she didn't hear Pinkie. In fact, she didn't even look up until she bumped into the counter. "Oh. I'm sorry, Pinkie."
Pinkie Pie giggled. "It's ok, Twilight. I don't think the counter minds."
"Right..." Twilight frowned for a second, then recovered from her first dose of Pinkie this today. "Anyway. As you may know, next month is Princess Celestia's birthday, and I was wondering if you could throw her one of your famous parties."
Pinkie gasped. "I've never thrown a party for a Princess before! Well, I've thrown some for you, but that was before you were a Princess. And a couple after. But your coat is purple, not white. I've never thrown a party for a white-coated Princess before!"
"So... that's a yes?" Twilight asked.
"Of course, silly!" Pinkie confirmed. "I'll just need to get a few things together."
Twilight sighed in relief. "So, I'll just leave it to you."
"Okie dokie, Lokie." Pinkie agreed, already scheming as her friend left the store.

The first thing Pinkie did after locking up the Corner was walk to Sweet Apple Acres.
"You're telling it wrong."
Um... what?
"I'm not walking to Sweet Apple Acres. I'm cartwheeling!"
In-indeed she began to cartwheel. All the way through Ponyville. She arrived at the farm a short time later, wheezing from the effort. The mare she'd come to visit saw her coming from the barn and met her at the door. "Well howdy, Pinkie."
"Hey... Applejack..." Pinkie huffed. "Just a... sec. Dizzy. Need... to... sit..."
"How come you're so dizzy, Pinkie?" Applejack wanted to know.
Sitting had helped. "I cartwheeled." Pinkie told her. "All the way here."
"Now, why the hay would you do something like that?" The farm-mare chided. "You're getting too old to be running around Ponyville. It's not good for ya."
Pinkie rolled her eyes. "Come on, Applejack, I'm not that old. It was fun! Besides, you're older than I am and you're still working the farm."
"And it ain't like I don't have my own health problems." Applejack countered. "Plus, I have help. I just worry about you, Pinkie. Being a party planner's fine when you're a young pony." She put a hoof on Pinkie's shoulder and solemnly shook her head. "But we ain't young ponies anymore. Maybe it's time to slow don."
Pinkie smiled. "Trust me, Applejack. I know when to stop. A party loses its fun if it drags on too long."
"Good." Applejack adjusted her hat. "So what brought you around?"
"Ooh!" Pinkie started hopping in excitement. "Twilight's asked me to plan a party for Princess Celestia's birthday!"
Applejack nodded, understanding. "And you're gonna need a whole heap of apple goodies."
"Do you think you'll have enough?" The super party pony asked her friend.
"If you'd asked me that a few years ago, the answer'd probably have been no." Applejack rubbed her chin. "But lately, we've been expanding. Granny was always against it, but since she passed we've hired some extra hooves. We should be able to get you all you need for a party as big as this one'll most likely be."
"That's great!" Pinkie hugged AJ. "I've got a few more stops to make. See you later!"

Pinkie didn't go straight to the next pony on her list. There were so many fun things to do around town that she couldn't help but get distracted. After helping Derpy with a delivery, teaching some foals how to hopscotch, and assisting Scootaloo with her new trick, Pinkie finally remembered who she was supposed to be meeting. Mostly because the mare in question happened to walk by.
"Vinyl!" Pinkie called after her. "Hey, Vinyl- wait!"
The infamous DJ turned around. "Oh, Pinkie. What's up?"
"Feel like you got another party in you?" Pinkie turned on the charm.
Vinyl laughed and shook her head. "Sorry, but no. Your parties were always awesome, Pinkie, but I'm retired. Have been for... wow, years now. Octavia still plays, if you want to see if her band can perform."
"Are you sure?" Pinkie wheedled. "It's for Celestia's birthday..."
"Then I'll make sure I'm there. As a guest." Vinyl smiled, but was quite firm with her answer.
Pinkie relented. "Alright, then."
"Sorry again." With that, Vinyl waved goodbye and walked away. Pinkie Pie was left standing there, now needing to find an act to replace DJ Pon-3, but having no idea who that could be.
"Don't worry, I'm sure it'll be fine."
It's kind of strange that you can hear me. I'm not sure what to think about it.
"Well, I like listening to you. You have a pretty voice."
Really?
"Sure! It's not too deep, but it's still rumbly. I think it's called a barrow tone?"
Well thanks, Pinkie. That's very nice. By the way, some ponies are staring at you.
"Good. They can watch what I'm gonna do next."

Venue Planning

Let's Get serious- Venue Planning

"Pinkie, what are you doing?" Twilight asked, real concern welling up as she found her old friend hunched over a chemistry set.
The question startled the party pony, and she squeezed the pipette she'd been holding a little too hard. The additional droplets caused the mixture in front of her to blow, sending her tumbling backwards off her stool.
"Oh, hey Twilight." Pinkie tried to get the extra frizz in her mane from the explosion under control. "I was just perfecting the recipe for my new candy-flavored Super Amazing Party Power-er."
Twilight frowned, trying to cut a swathe through the hidden jungle that was Pinkie's meaning. "So it's some kind of... energy drink?"
"Energy drink, yes!" Pinkie lit up, latching on the phrase. "That's much easier to remember! You always have such great ideas, Twilight."
Twilight's horn glowed, lifting Pinkie up off her back and setting her on her hooves. It was hard enough to stay focused when Pinkie was standing still, let alone when looking at her upside-down face. The Princess cleared her throat, preparing for a well-practiced speech. "Most of the time, yes. Be that as it may, I have important news. I asked you to plan a party for Celestia's birthday next month-"
"Well yeah, Twilight." Pinkie interrupted. "I remember that. Jeez, it was yesterday. My memory's not that bad!"
Twilight sighed. "I figured you would remember, Pinkie, but what I'm trying to say is-"
"I mean, sometimes I forget to visit Gummy every other week like I should..." The Pink One continued, oblivious to Twilight's interjection. "And sometimes I forget to label which house an order is supposed to go to. But this is Celestia's birthday! There's no way I could forget something this big-ly important."
A moment passed as Twilight waited to ensure Pinkie was finished. "I didn't think you'd forgotten, Pinkie. I came to tell you that the party can't be in a month."
"What do you mean, Twilight?" Pinkie asked.
"I mean she's not going to be in Equestria in a month." Twilight explained. "I checked her schedule, and it turns out she has a big diplomatic trip planned. She'll be out of the country for three weeks, starting a week before the day we were going to throw the party."
Pinkie trusted her friend to have a solution to their problem. "So what do we do?"
"Well, Celestia's schedule is pretty packed." Twilight began. "Even with Luna and I to help, there's still so much for her to do. The only free time she has is next week. Can we move the party to then?"
"Next week?! But- AJ needs time to make the goodies, and I have to hang the decorations, and I don't have a musical act lined up yet..." Pinkie trailed off as her mind outraced her mouth.
A worried look spread across Twilight's face. "Does that mean you can't do it?"
""Of course I can do it, Twilight. I'm the Super Party Pony." Pinkie smiled as she reminded the Princess of that crucial fact. Twilight sighed in relief, hugged her friend, and left. After she was gone, Pinkie set her stool back up and sat, staring at her chemistry set.
What are you going to do, Pinkie?
"I'm gonna get some help."

"You want me to what?" The mare most ponies in Ponyville knew as Bon Bon asked incredulously.
"What do you mean by that?"
"What do you mean, what do I mean?" Bon Bon demanded. "Applejack's family has been taking business from my confectionery since I moved here! You can only sell so many treats in a town this size, and now you want me to help her get even more notoriety?!"
Before Pinkie could reply, Lyra emerged from the back of the store. "Hey, I'm going to the market. Want anything?"
"I'm fine for now, Lyra." Bon Bon told her.
Lyra started for the door. "Ok."
"Don't forget your hoodie!" Bon Bon called after her. "It's going to get cold later."
Pinkie leaned over the counter. "This is Celestia's birthday party, Bon Bon! It's super important to get the catering ready in a week. Isn't there any way you'd help?"
Bon Bon thought for a while. "Fine. But only if there are placards reading 'catering by Applejack and Bon Bon."
"Great!" Pinkie gave her a giant hug, almost dragging the poor pony over the counter. "I'll let Applejack know to expect you."
After leaving Bon Bon's shop, Pinkie was in pretty high spirits-
"I still want to know what you meant by that."
It's a secret.
But there was still the matter of the entertainment. While Pinkie had considered acting on Vinyl's suggestion, she was worried that Octavia's classical stylings would make the party reminiscent of the Grand Galloping Gala. Celestia hated the Gala.
Pinkie made her way to the Mayor's office, trying to remember what city Neon Lights was supposed to be performing at next as she did so. Musical act or no, she still had to get the permits to throw a party this big. Maybe she should have obtained them before beginning preparations...
"Did you really think I wouldn't find out about this?!" The Mayor demanded as she walked through the door, confirming Pinkie's concerns. Diamond Tiara was not a pony who enjoyed being left out of the loop. "The whole town is in a tizzy over this party you're planning."
"They're probably excited for the chance to show the Princess how much we love her. Pinkie smiled, hoping to mollify the politician.
It didn't work. "Whatever. As if I would let something this disruptive proceed. Just think of all the poor townsponies who'll be inconvenienced by this increased traffic alone."
Well, that was unexpected. Pinkie had to think fast. "But Mayor, think about how happy the business owners will be. All those tourists and guests coming here and buying things. I'm sure they'd be very appreciative of their Mayor, know what I mean?"
Diamond Tiara ran the idea through her head, and as she did the room was very quiet. "I'll think about it." The Mayor finally said. "Now get out of here."

Main Event

The days were quickly ticking by, too quickly for Pinkie's liking. She only had two days left until the party.
"Ignore the mean voice-over guy, Gummy. He's just being a downer."
For his part, the gator/philosopher simply stared in silence. He had long given up on understanding his pony friend and her weird obsession with the Man-With-No-Form. He was content to just enjoy her (sometimes) bi-weekly visits.
But, despite her protests, as Pinkie sat scrubbing Gummy's scales she did indeed have a problem. Diamond Tiara continued to withhold the party permit. What's more, Pinkie still hadn't found a musical act.
"I'll admit, the music thing's starting to worry me. But the permit's no big deal. Diamond Tiara's just being Diamond Tiara. The permit will show up."
You sicced Twilight on her, didn't you?
"Yes I did."
But what about the decorations? You haven't even started on that.
"Let me show you something."

As Pinkie exited her Party Lair some time later (don't worry, I'll fill you in shortly), two ponies simultaneously vied for her attention. It took her a second to realize she had forgotten to lock the Corner's door when she came in.
"I'm the Mayor, I go first!" Diamond Tiara snapped, not hesitating to pull rank on the other pony. Her competition, Vinyl Scratch, acquiesced. The Mayor shoved a piece of paper into Pinkie's hooves. "There's your stupid permit. Must be nice to have a Princess as a friend."
As Diamond Tiara stomped away, Vinyl leaned over to whisper to Pinkie. "What a tool."
"She's not a tool, Vinyl." Pinkie corrected. "She's a pony."
Vinyl laughed. "You'd think that would get old, but somehow it's still adorable."
Pinkie was glad she got the joke. Some ponies took her too seriously when she said things like that, but Vinyl was never one to do so. "What brings you around, Scratch-Attack?"
"You! You... jerk!" Vinyl softly shoved Pinkie, barely hard enough to make her take a step. "I was done! I was happily retired, but you had to go and put the bug back in my brain."
"So you'll do it?" Pinkie almost squeed.
Vinyl sighed. "Yes, I will. But just this one! After it's over, I'm done for good."
"Don't worry. I promise I'll never ask you again." Pinkie promised.
Vinyl scratched her head. "So when exactly is it going to be?"
"Two days from now." Pinkie answered.
Two- oh." Vinyl turned and headed for the door. "I gotta go dig all my stuff out of storage. See you then!"

This is where the narrative will get a little confusing.
It was the day of the party, and Twilight was escorting Celestia into town. They had decided to walk the last stretch of the journey so the two Princesses could catch up with one another. Their duties kept them so busy these days.
"Oh my." Celestia gasped as they entered a Ponyville devoid of decorations. "You did tell Pinkie Pie the party was to be today, right?"
"This doesn't make any sense. I told her, I know I told her. Why would Pinkie..." Twilight had already begun to to panic as the question was asked. Therefore, what she said was more to herself than an answer for Celestia.
While Twilight trailed off into unintelligible mumbling, Rainbow Dash zipped over to meet them. "Hey Twilight, Princess."
Celestia dipped her head in greeting. "Hello, Rainbow Dash."
"Everypony's over there." Dash told them, pointing to the crowd she had just come from. "We're all just waiting for the party to start."
"Where's Pinkie?" Twilight growled, having recovered enough to be furious.
Dash just shrugged. "Heck if I know. I talked to Vinyl, hoping to at least get some music going, but she says she's waiting for Pinkie's signal. Said we'd know it when we see it."
Celestia was overjoyed to hear that DJ Pon-3 had come out of retirement for her. She doubted that Twilight knew there had been a time where the seemingly straight-laced Sun Princess was deep in the rave scene, her alicorn magic easily allowing her to cast illusionary disguises on herself. Then something above them caught her eye. "Is that one of those new planes I've heard about?"

Now we go back to the Party Lair.
"Ta-daa!"
Pinkie pulled a tarp off of a previously hidden device.
That's amazing, Pinkie. What is it?
"I call it the Party Nuke."
Party... Nuke?
Pinkie found a dry washcloth and began to dust the Party Nuke, gesturing wildly with her free hoof.
"It's like my Party Cannon, only way, way bigger! I call it Nuke 'cause it's short for the real name, which is New Cool Thing. New plus C makes NewC. So it's the Party Nuke! Get it?"
I get it, Pinkie. But now I have another question. You said it's way bigger than the Cannon, right?
"Yeah."
How much bigger?
"Well... If the Party Cannon can decorate a room, then this thing can definitely decorate all of Ponyville. It might even be able to decorate a city the size of Manehattan."
Mane- Pinkie you can't set that thing off here!
"Why not?"
If it explodes in the middle of town, it could destroy Ponyville!
Pinkie chuckled at that.
Don't be silly, Silly. It doesn't blow up on the ground. I'm going to detonate it in the air!"
How?
"I know a pony. A pony with a plane."

All three of them were watching the plane now, and as the noise it made got louder, more and more ponies turned to look. Dash's still sharp eyes saw something drop off it. "Did it just break?"

"Are you sure?" The pilot was barely audible over the roar of the engine. "You're serious?"
"I've never been so serious!" Pinkie Pie shouted back. She started strapping herself in.
Despite his skepticism, the pilot pushed the button. "Ok..."
The bay doors began to open. As they did, the Party Nuke Pinkie was now securely fastened to started to slide out of the plane.

They could hear her from the ground. "Ooookie Doookie Loookie!!!"
"Was that Pinkie's voice?" Applejack asked the confectioner sitting beside her.

Up in the sky, Pinkie double-checked her parachute. It was still there. Nodding, she unstrapped herself from the P.N. and gently pushed off.
Drift-falling away from her creation, Pinkie reached into a saddlebag and felt around until she found the detonator. She pulled it out, took one last look at Ponyville, and then pulled the parachute's cord.
"Well... It's been fun, Barrow Tone."
She hit the detonator.

The resulting confetti cloud fell on Ponyville for days, but the party itself outlasted even that. Specially trained medics worked in shifts, 24 hours a day, caring for exhausted party-goers. DJ Pon-3 later admitted that she was only able to survive thanks to Pinkie's new candy flavored energy drink, which was passed out in huge quantities absolutely free.
After the party, nopony saw Pinkie Pie again. Most ponies assume the enormous bacchanalia simply took too much of a toll on its planner, and that she quietly passed away after its successful conclusion. But there are some who believe that she's still out there, planning an even bigger event. This is, of course, ridiculous.
How could you top the Greatest Party Ever?