The Village
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A village stands in the valley. It’s a cute little place with all the bog standard cheery little cottages, track dirt road, and smiling faces. Yes, faces smiling with nary a frown to be seen. Uncanny. feel into the internal chest pocket of my Strichtarn camo jacket. My grasp finds the comforting cold steel of my Makarov PM pistol. Loaded fully, it comes out to eight rounds in the magazine plus one in the chamber for a total of nine. I’m not the best at math, but I’d bet my life that more than nine ponies are dancing around in my binoculars right now, and far more than that are likely still hidden indoors. So even if I have to run and make a kill shot with every round, highly unlikely given how eighty percent or so of handgun shootees survive, there would still be many more after me even after I ran out of ammo. It’s primary function is scaring murderous bastards into giving me nine tries at dying before they get to kill me.
‘Case #47
Client: River Dell
Contract Type: Untimed individual retrieval
Dates Consulted: 1’st Nov, 1313; 8’th Nov, 1313
Date Accepted 12’th Nov, 1313
Date Finished:
Description: Find white unicorn male with snowflake cutie mark. Bring him home alive.
Special Requests: N/A
Days Elapsed: Ⱶ͟͡˧ Ⱶ͟
Special Notes: Armed with personal Makarov PM handgun. X9 rounds 95gr 9x18mm FMJ ammunition.
Fees: 200 Bits paid up front, 2200 bits to be paid upon completion, 20 Bits daily action fee.
Expenses: 35 Bit train ticket from Canterlot. 27 Bits spent on food. 71 bits spend on lodging.
Bonuses: 2000 Bits speed bonus first 3 days, -200/day after 4’th day. 0 after 14’th day.
Notes: Village located in middle of nowhere. Does not appear on any maps. Coordinates: 64.08N 36.06E. Small.
I scribble down under notes, “Village located on day 7. Pop<100. All inhabitants have same cutie mark, expression, and clothes. Potential cult. Potential threat. Will attempt to infiltrate to locate target and abscond with him ASAP. Target, if present alive, is likely here voluntarily; unlikely to come quietly.” Why would I say her was here voluntarily? Well, ponies have chosen weirder things willingly. Besides, given the lack of walls, towers, and such, it doesn’t look like anyone is too fussed about emigration. Of course, there are more insidious ways to keep somepony prisoner. I decide to move to a new vantage point and watch the village for a while longer; perhaps I can find its leadership, its important places, or even my target. If I have to forcibly haul him out or otherwise exit under tense circumstances, I’d like to know the best ways to do it as well as when I can generally count on everypony being asleep.
Now in my new vantage point, looking down the street, I can see the whole thing laid out. It really is tiny. However, two buildings stand out to me. The first is a larger than average house that sits kinda all by itself on the lane. If they have any leadership, then that’s where they’ll be living, because all leader types love being just a bit more equal than others, even in crazy cults. The second is at the end of a row, and has two ponies standing in front of the only door. With nothing else to do, I take the bottle of kvass from my ruck and take a big swig. The stakeout begins as I start to sketch the town for future reference and for cover in case if anypony asks me what I’m doing. I lay there on the protected side of the hill for hours. A pegasus flies high over the town just prior to sunset, prompting me to relocate to the far side of the town
In the stillness of the night, I hear what I swear are looped messages of a voice coming from the town. I smirk. I note in my book, “Propaganda & PA present.”. I shiver in the chilly night but do not abandon my mission, or the nice fat payout it promises. His parents must be rich, because if they didn’t have the money to make somepony else go out looking for the kid, they wouldn’t have contracted me to do it for them. Most of the stuff I get contracted to do is pretty pointless, like spy on somepony’s spouse or lover because they think they’re being cheated on, or go get dirt for some company’s background check, or be some journalist’s unnamed but vital source who does all the legwork at personal risk, or help some jerk come up with evidence so they can sue somepony or company for a big heap of coin. I cannot wait to get this target, drag him home, and get paid, or at least out of this darn field, or failing that, someplace where I can get a meal; I’m hungry! This makes it hard to think straight, but I can’t bitch about my empty tummy; I have to plan for every contingency. I’ll get food in the town tomorrow. That’ll give me an excuse to go in and have a look around. Besides, friendly locals are one of the great untapped sources of intelligence and amusement.
it until midmorning to walk up to the town. My Makarov is loaded and ready, a round in the chamber, the hammer back, and the safety off. As I get close to the village, I see that there are various shops and businesses, it’s just that they’re all built out of the same design mold as the houses. “Hello there!” A voice stops me when I am just less than fifty yards from the village. Friendly and eager, if a little hollow, it rings out, “Welcome to our town!” I see the pony, or more accurately, three ponies. Those smiles make me cringe on the inside. Too many teeth.
“Hi,” I wave back. “Say, is there a chance of me being able to get a bite to eat here? I’m just passing through.
The smiling ponies nod, “You bet. We got the best food that all of us can cook at the restaurant. Follow us.” They set off. Okay, friendly so far, but unnerving as hell. I am glad that our route takes us through the town, including right by the guarded building. I try to look in, but all the windows on all the buildings are just slits. I swear I hear looped messages playing from inside like “Individuality is a lie.” The guards, still smiling, lock eyes with me and then track me until I am well clear of that building.
The food at the café is awful. Words cannot describe the travesty. If that thing they alleged was breakfast had been a villain from history, King Sombra would have turned his amnesia spell on himself. After an hour, I find my investigation bogged down. I ask, “So how many of you live in this here cozy village?”
One answers, “Not too many. We think you’ve already seen everypony, or almost everypony…” Another gives the talker a strangely stern look and she flinches. With nowhere to turn the conversation to now and this trip rapidly approaching the end of its usefulness, I am about to formulate an excuse to get out of here without having to necessarily vacate the general area when a lilac unicorn shoves her head in.
“Hi there,” she chirps. “I’m Starlight Glimmer and I’d like to welcome you to our town, which I founded. Finally, a pony without a terrifying grin!
“Nice to meet you,” I reply.
“How do you like our little shared slice of equality.”
I answer, “It has its charms.” I smile but not very well.
“So what’s a stallion like yourself doing in Our Town?” Wow, she is giving me her complete attention, and isn’t too bad looking either… “Anything I can do to make your stay pleasurable?” She flashes a succubus grin at me.
“Oh, just passing through,” I remark with forced nonchalance.
“Looking for anything, sugar?” Starlight Glimmer bats her eyes, but for a moment stares into mine meaningfully. I can’t mask my unease.
“Oh, no no no, just enjoying the beauty is all.”
“Well, there’s a lot around here you wouldn’t believe, sugar, and I’d know it better than anypony. How about I give you the grand tour? I’m sure you wouldn’t mind sticking around if I could persuade you…” This is bad. This is real bad. I have to get away from this mare. I try to refuse, but Starlight is already up. “Follow me!” I have no choice.
Throughout the day, I do my best to behave myself, pretending to be favorably impressed with the frankly godawful everything in the town. Star’s unending little barbs and diatribes about the superiority of sameness are pure bull, as any exceptional pony, like me, instantly knows. I must admit, for all her um charisma, she’s not terribly astute – a bit of an airhead really. An excellent detective like me can wrap her around my fetlock like nothing. Alas, I just can’t leave, not when my last lead points me here, even though it is a stretch at that. All I got was from a roadside grill waitress who said that she think she saw a white unicorn stallion go off in this direction a while ago. If he isn’t here, then the train goes cold; no dice. I’ll have to tell the client the deal’s off and I’ll have spent at least a week out in the field for nothing.
It is all going well enough until the sun begins to set. Starlight asks me, “Sugar, do you have anyplace to stay tonight?”
I know that I really ought to lie, but at the same time, this town is in the middle of nowhere and she must know it. Besides, even if I convince her I’m camping or something, she’ll probably worm her way into coming with me. Even if she ultimately goes home for the night, it’s far too early for a mare in her prime to be seriously thinking about sleep. “No, Star. I was supposed to get to this campground tonight, but I think I’d rather spend the night in town. Is there a hotel or hostel or something?” It’s not like I’ll make any more progress today if I refuse. I guess I may as well spend the night in town and try to get a closer look at that building when everypony’s asleep.
She shakes her head sadly, “Our Town has no hotel, but we’re all very hospitable ponies.” The seductive mare’s eyes twinkle. “In fact, as our mayor, I would be honored to have you in for the night with me.” I blush at the unmistakable edge in her voice.
Heh, why not? I grin back, “I’d be delighted to accept your offer.” She gives me a familiar grin as she leads me back to town with the stupidest grin on my stupid face. Nothing happens that i want to discuss, but we nightcap together with cider.
“In sameness, there is peace. Exceptionalism is a lie. Free yourself from your cutie mark. Choose equality as your special talent.”
That loudspeaker again… it’s like it’s coming from literally all sides. So loud, it’s piercing my brain.
“Difference is frustration. To exceed is to fail.”
My neck hurts. My brain feels stuck like a .311 bullet in a .308 barrel. Where am I? This doesn’t feel like a bed, and this absolutely doesn’t feel like Starlight Glimmer’s embrace. Ohno! My eyes fly open. In that instant, I realize two things. First, I had been the most colossal idiot in Equestria. Second, I found my target. Yes! I found him. Now just to get him out of here, but how? I look around and see a door. My heart swells with triumph for a split second, just long enough for me to feel the abrupt disappointment as I realize that the hinges, latch, and lock are all al the other side, and the whole thing’s one solid panel, so no busting through it. I take inventory of my surroundings. It think it’s pretty safe to say that I’m in the least pleasant room in Equestria. It’s too damn bright in here, and the light flickers noticeably. The windows are small slits which allow in very little light, and what does come in gets filtered through these hideous piss yellow curtains. The walls and ceiling are painted sick, dark green colors. The floor is supremely uncomfortable – it’s made of the worst, roughest, gnarliest, most knotted warped assortment driftwood this side of a shipwreck, and it’s not so much one unified floor as a mess of barely arranged planks with all kinds of gaps and lips between them, and they creak incessantly. A loud hum comes from the corner, where there is a loudspeaker, and every time it makes the slightiest noise, it is not only loud enough to make my ears ring, but the horrendous feedback sends spikes of pain jolting through my skull.
I pat around myself and am immediately grateful to feel the familiar utilitarian comfort of my clothes, and then my hoof strikes hard metal in my pocket. My Makarov! Now I can bust out of here; this wouldn’t be the first time I’d escaped from the clutches of nefarious ne’er-do-wells. But before I get ahead of myself, I need to ascertain the state of my target. “Hey, you, Double Diamond.” I call out to the stallion. He barely stirs. “Hey, dude.” He shakes his head, either to send me away or to get his shaggy mane out of his eyes. I look to his flank, immediately seeing the blemish of the grey equals sign upon it. I muster my strength and roar, “A NUUUU!!”
He lilts his gaze towards me. “How do you know me? I don’t remember you from our town.”
“You wouldn’t know me. I’m a private eye hired by your parents to bring you back home.”
“Talent belies inability. Equality means being able to do anything.”
“I’m not going.”
Grr. “What?”
“My place is here in Our Town. I really should accept that my cutie mark only ever brought trouble.”
“But your parents told me you were quite the mountaineer. They said you loved nothing more than the thrill of adventure, that you weren’t a homebody.”
His eyes dilate. He tilts his head as he ponders, “Mountaineer? I’m a skier – a winter sports pony.” What? “Who told you that?”
“Your mom,” I answer. He paws the floor. “Y’know, a green unicorn with a yellow mane.”
“Excellence requires failure. Succeed by choosing equality.”
“That’s not my mother – I was adopted by two stallions when I was a newborn, so I don’t even know her name.” Please, don’t tell me…
My heart quickening, I blurt, “This waitress at a diner named Sugar Bell said you were in the area – she pointed me to this village.”
“Talent is slavery. Liberate yourself from your cutie mark.”
“Sugar Bell is one of us in Our Town.”
Knock knock! “Double Diamond, shut up! You want another two days in there?” A guard barks at the door.
No! No… It couldn’t be… Oh crap, just how deep am I in? “Diamond, when you came to this town, did you get greeted before you made it to the town proper?”
He nods. “A pegasus swooped by when I was a couple hills over. Why?” That pegasus I saw that first day… There’s no way they’d missed me. They could’ve only done that if… They knew I was coming! Panic explodes into my limbs.
“Damn damn damn! I’ve been had! They knew I was coming and what for this entire time. Oh hell!” No. Okay, okay, I got this. I have to get this. Can’t do jack about the past – gotta think on the mission now. First things first,
He sadly huffs, “Well, that was before I came here and Starlight Glimmer told me the truth about cutie marks.”
I growl impatiently, “And that is?”
“Cutie marks are trouble. At first I didn’t believe it, but the longer I stayed here, the more I realized it’s true.”
“How the hell is it true? If I could stand, there’d be teeth on the barren floor.” Something… something is wrong with this place, with me.
“Because all a cutie mark does is box you into something forever.”
“Aptitudes demand sacrifice. Mediocrity is easy.”
I challenge him, “What could be bad about being talented at something you like doing?”
Double Diamond groans at me, “Because you don’t want to do anything else.” He pauses before asking me, “What’s your cutie mark?”
I move to show him it, but I gasp. It can’t be! But it is! “It’s not there!” How did I not notice? What is this fog in my head? The blood drains from my face as I confront the grey equals sign of equality defacing my flank. Hell… Struggling at staying calm, I answer, “It’s a magnifying glass sign on top of a notepad with a pencil. It means I’m good at finding things out and collating information.”
“My cutie mark was some snowflakes – not a very good one.”
I press, “Why? How could it possibly be bad to be a born star athlete?”
“What happens if you’re not good enough to competitive even if that’s your talent? Snowsports are an expensive hobby and the pro scene is tiny; I was never good enough to make it, even though that’s my talent, and I suck at everything else. So even though I’m best at and want to do it, not only do I constantly long for it all year long, even when there’s no snow, but just being able to do the thing I love at all is a huge expense. So what’s my cutie mark good for? Poverty and heartache!” My eyes open. Damn, he does have a point, the poor guy. “That’s why I’m giving up my cutie mark.”
“Talent is common. Equality is remarkable. Overcome. Choose equality.”
“So why are you in here if you’re a willing volunteer?”
He grimaces ruefully, “I tried to tell the world about Starlight Glimmer’s scheme to intentionally lur ponies here to be indoctrinate. Look how well that turned out.”
I try to grin. “Don’t worry, I’ll get us out of here.” I pull out my gun. “We’ll wait until they come in to give us food or something, then I’ll shoot ‘em and we can make our escape.” I don’t know who I’m trying to convince anymore – him that I have plan or myself that I can plan.
Double Diamond shakes his head and sighs, “Good luck; they don’t even open the door to give us meals.”
“Do they teleport it in?”
“They don’t feed us anything.” With a vengeance, my empty stomach makes its plight known. Now all that gets in through the haze are unending thoughts of food. Perfect. Just freaken’ perfect!
“So when do we get out?”
“Nopony knows. I’ve been here more than a week.”
Knock knock! “That’s another three days, Double Diamond, and no water for you!”
My cellmate slumps. “I’ve said too much; just leave me alone.” This is the last time I hear him speak. I can’t deny my situation anymore.
“Damnit, damn it all to hell!” I lash out, stomping my hoof hard enough to mar the wood floor. “SON OF A -- ! ALL I WANTED WAS TO FIND THIS ONE DUMBASS, GET HIS USELESS ASS HOME, AND GET PAID FOR A JOB WELL DONE! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!?”
“Shut up, Diamond!”
My rage turns on the voice in an instant. “That wasn’t Diamond, moron!”
What comes back is surprisingly calm. “You are in there to think about what you’ve done. Please reflect quietly upon your misdeeds.”
“Screw you!” I fall silent, though my temper does not abate. I’m mad, no, angry, no, livid, no, furious, no, ENRAGED! I’ve never been this angry in my life. Never ever ever. My emotions aren’t so much spiraling out of control as my mind is at the mercy of my emotions. This isn’t like me.
“Exceptionalism is struggle. Equality is peace. Find happiness through rejection of your talent.”
“SHUTUP! SHUTUP! SHUTUP!” My head! Get that blasted noise out of my head! I grab the chair by me and hurl it at the loudspeaker as hard as I can. “SHUT THE HELL UP!” The rotten chair splinters on impact, but the loudspeaker doesn’t even have a ding on it. FREAKEN WONDERFUL! I thrice buck the door as hard as my moderately toned earth pony hindquarters can manage, but nothing even yields at all. Now I’m scared. Slowly, the light from outsides dims and fades into dark, but my anger remains hot and raw. I don’t want to sleep, I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to reflect. I only want to escape this place, take my revenge on the one whose fault this is, and burn this whole infernal village to this ground. This anger, so strong for so long, is not natural for me, but I don’t care. I’m mad, I’m parched and famished, and I’m exhausted. The flickering bright lights only add to my torment, as does the endless screeching of the accursed loudspeaker giving me a splitting headache every single time I try to compose myself or think.
“Be greater than yourself by lowering yourself for the greater good. Trade your quality for equality.”
“Happiness is shared. Pain is lonely. Surrender your individuality and free yourself from your troubles.”
Is this thing mocking me!? Halleluiah! Fantastic – an automated PA system with a twisted sense of humor! Curse this place! Curse Starlight Glimmer, curse this hellhole town, curse Double Diamond, curse the setup, curse cutie marks, curse everything! Curse it all, light it on fire, piss the fire out, shove it in acid, buck it to the moon, blow up the moon, and hurl it into the sun, and let a black hole eat the sun!
“Starlight Glimmer will always accept you, but first you must accept her.”
Why the hell would I accept the psycho who did all this to me in the first place? Screw her! Screw her stupid scheme. To hell with her bogus ideas. To hell with her town. Let a meteor obliterate her and this village into a billion specs of dust! I’ll kill her! Mark my words, I’m going to stick my pistol down her filthy throat. I’ll shoot her with everything I have, and when I run out of ammo, I’ll beat her with my gun until it beaks, then I’ll kick her until I can’t stand, then I’ll beat her until my forelegs shatter, and then I’ll move off her just so everypony can see her stupid, ugly body! I want to destroy her so complete that not even maggots will find anything to feed on. What is wrong with me!? Why can’t I stop?
“Starlight Glimmer only wishes for your liberation. Be free. Reject your cutie mark.”
“To hell with Starlight Glimmer!”
To my shock, Star’s voice lilts through the door, “Sugar, I just want to talk to you.”
“CRAWL OFF AND DIE IN A FIRE, YOU SICK, TWISTED NUT!” My fury breaks. I find myself drawing my weapon on the door. BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click! Click! Click! Click! Oh crap! I see red coming from Double Diamond’s leg. No… Fury sublimates to great clouds of remorse. Oh shoot, oh shit. Tears come to my eyes. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it!” I know it’s just a minor wound, but the remorse is here, cascading like a waterfall. “Please please please, forgive me!”
“You shot me…” He collapses. No no no. The tingling on my flank is worse than ever. Confound my cutie mark. I stagger over to the unicorn. Ripping the godawful tacky curtains from the window, I tear them with my teeth into a rough tourniquet. Trembling like a witless foal, I wrap the tourniquet around my idiocy’s victim higher up on the leg and yank it as tight as I can, grunting with effort. I tie it as best I can. I look at my crime. Red. So much red. I… I’ve killed the pony I was supposed to save. He’s dead, isn’t he? Please please please don’t be dead. I never meant to hurt anypony! Please be okay! I check his vitals hurriedly. Cold, sweaty, shallow breathing and rapid pulse. Oh no, he’s going into shock already. He was so much weaker than I realized. This is what I get for being an impulsive, thoughtless moron so blinded by wrath I first convinced the one pony who could help me to let me rot, then I shot my only companion, who I at least was supposed to be saving. Even if there was a paycheck to begin with, good luck claiming anything now…
“Despair is caused by failure. Success comes from teamwork. Accept that you are powerless.” Finally, some advice that makes sense.
Seized by desperation, I pound on the door. “Hey, please open up the door. I shot somepony and he’s dying. Please, help him! I’m sorry!” No response. There’s no way they didn’t hear the gunshots. They’re ignoring us on purpose – they don’t care if we live or die! Please, don’t let me die – I don’t want to die. Please, don’t let him die because of me. I take off my jacket, the jacket I’ve worn everywhere for more than a decade, and I throw it over his body. The crimson bleeds through in seconds. Don’t let me have cut a major blood vessel! I can treat shock, I can stem bleeding, can even handle broken bones, but if a key artery or vein is savored, I can’t do anything but watch my poor victim die as his staining life runs out.
I take a look at his wound, a shot to a front foreleg. Grisly – I can see through the skin, muscle, and bone clear to the other side. No… Despite the tourniquet, he’s bleeding fast. Damn my curiosity for luring me here -- if only I wasn’t such a cocksure weasel, none of this would be happening. I check for the primary blood vessels running shallow under the skin. They’re uncut, I think, but I can’t tell. “Diamond, can you hear me?” No response.
“Failure comes from arrogance. Trying comes from believing oneself superior. Mediocrity is success.”
Damnit! I feel him getting cold. This can’t be happening, this can’t be happening… I – there’s no reason my shot, I mean his wound should be mortal, but he’s so weakened and my head is so full of fluff I don’t even know what to think. I roll him onto his side and I rip another large shred of the hideous curtain, which I use to wide up some of the blood and give him a little more warm covering. I wipe the sweat from his forehead. He barely reacts, sending a stab of dread through my heart. I cry quietly, “If he pulls through, I swear I’ll never shoot again.” I’ve never shot anypony before.
“Individualism is selfish. Selfishness hurts others. Be kind, be selfless.”
“I get it! Individualism is bad. Equality is best!” I plead to the unhearing room. “If you save him, I’ll stay in Our Town forever. I’ll be equal to everypony. I’ll give up my cutie mark, I’ll even attract new residents. Please, just don’ let him die like this because of me! Have you no pity, no mercy for your fellow pony? No compassion for the injured? No sense of decency? Torture me, kill me, turn me in to the authorities. I’m begging you, just please don’t make him suffer for my mistake!” I sob and bang my head against the door. My last wits wash away with the unstemmed flow of my tears as I just continue to beg. I understand now. It is useless.
“Your cutie mark is your fate. Fate is slavery. Take freedom. Abandon your cutie mark.”
Despair. A great tingling comes from the blemish on my flank. My wits slip away. Then a dull horror roars to life in my heart, an existential dread like an abyss opening beneath my hooves. I’m never getting out of here! I’m going to starve. I’m going to die in here! I have to get out of here, I have to, I can’t stay here, but there’s no way out! So much for that nice fat bonus! So much for getting paid! So much for going home at all! What does it matter? I’m dead, anyway. I’m not getting out of here; I’d starve if not for the fact that thirst will claim me long before hunger. They’ll never let me out; they won’t even open the door to help Diamond. My sobs stifle down into a trickle of silent tears as I survey my grave. I put my back against the wall and slump over, totally spent. Everything is useless.
I look down to my hoof. Perhaps I still have one last nine millimeter pill to help myself? My Makarov’s slide is locked open – all rounds spent from my only magazine.
“You are here because of fate. Your cutie mark determines your fate. This is your cutie mark’s fault.”
I am at the bottom of the deepest pit imaginable. Stuck in the pit with no way out. Rock bottom. No food. No water. No rest. No hope. This is it, eventually, I guess. What a way for a brilliant detective to die, locked away in a room in the middle of nowhere to immure. I never imagined myself dying of something so mundane as lack of water. I envisioned meeting my end in a shootout with a gang, or being a hitmane’s mark, or attracting some crime boss’s vendetta. A few extra tears leak from my eyes. I pound the floor. It’s not fair, damnit! I don’t deserve this; I’m better than this!
“A star dies alone. The galaxy lives on. Choose life. Choose equality with others.”
“I’m so frikken lame!” I growl. My anger passes in but a short while. I have no heart left to rage, panic, or beg. I’m going to die here and it’s all that accursed Starlight Glimmer’s fault. All I feel now are guilt and resignation. I cannot even feel moved to held my victim anymore; I’ve done all I can, and if I’ve undone him, then I guess I really deserve my fate.
As my heart settles into its black abyss following the turbulent storms of emotions, the fatigue from the past two days without sleep becomes unbearable. However, the pounding migraine brought on by the constant bright flickering light and piercing electronic screeches makes rest impossible. I lay on the floor, thrashing about, clutching my head in agony, waiting for it to stop, wishing desperately for just a moment’s dark silence to grant me a reprieve. Hours pass. I have long since given up on Double Diamond as he lays there in a pool of his own blood, a testament to my foolishness. It would almost be peaceful here if not for the ceaseless electronic shrieks of the loudspeaker. “Superiority is a lie. Nopony is the best at everything. Therefore, nopony is truly better than anypony else.” “There is no feeling worse than inferiority. There is no burden greater than maintaining dominance. Oppression is inherent in inequality.” “”Differences in talent lead to conflict. Harmony and exceptionalism are lies. There is only the equality of brotherhood.” “Equality means an end to jealousy and envy. Make the world a better place by refusing to outdo others.” “Specialness is a lie. If we are all special, then that makes our alleged uniqueness common.” “Be your best by never being your best.” “Advance others by restraining yourself.” “No group is stronger than its weakest link. You are no better than your friends.” “Overachievement is wasteful.” “You are not special. You were born. You live. You will die.” “Difference is an illusion. Similarities outnumber differences. Uniformity is natural.”
I lose track of time. I even grow numb to the pain in my head, the weariness in me, the hunger in my belly, the thirst in my throat, and the cacophony in my ears. Some, however, do register to me. Day after day, the weight of everything accumulates. And now that I have no more fight left in me, I cannot deny their logic. “Ask yourself, why are you here alone in your uniqueness when you could be an equal in friendship?”
I absentmindedly mutter back, “Because you left me to die.” A few seconds later, I whisper, “I refused to listen at every turn.”
The loudspeaker rebukes me, “This was your fate. Your cutie mark led your here.”
“Not like I had a choice,” I sigh. “What was I supposed to do with that kind of mystery and reward hanging in front of my face?”
The screeching says, “Change your cutie mark, change your fate.”
“So I can do what, die after a boring life in a boring village in the middle of boring nowhere a little later instead of relatively soon?”
“You had no choice of your special talent. Today, you have the power to choose your own destiny.”
“And that’s what they told us at high school graduation.”
“Think about all the trouble your cutie mark has brought you. Are you honestly content with your life?”
“No. My cutie mark said I was good at getting facts and piecing them together. Somehow, that led to a life where I spent most of my time spying on
“You are all in your head. Change your mind, change your life.”
“And lose all I am,” I sigh, but is it really worth it? This is not a choice between two lives, but a choice between two deaths. To be honest, no, my lonely, pathetic life of paid spying on other lonely, pathetic ponies is not one I am loathe to let go of. I'd jump at the chance to be a mercenary in Bremane or Chechneya, but alas, I am too cowardly to go to war; I'm too weak to even calmly accept the possibility of death.
"The mind is quick but the heart is slow. Changing your life may seem hard now, but you will understand this was all for your own good."
I close my eyes and let slip the first words to press at my lips: "Starlight Glimmer is right." I jolt. What did I just say!? Starlight Glimmer is right? Well, she's not a total airhead, she's outmaneuvered me, and it is true that my cutie mark has pigeonholed me for a life of nothing but glorified snooping. Perhaps freedom means to reject my cutie mark, to start anew on a fair playing field, the same as anypony else, and see what happens, come what may? Perhaps it is my defeated state, but starting over fresh doesn't sound too bad, especially if I have some nights with Starlight Glimmer, my savior who walks like a temprress, to look forward. to. Yeah, I can live with that. If only they would accept me, selfish worm I am.
I shamble over to the front door. I cough and clear my desert dry throat, "I want to be equal. Please, let me be freed from the affliction of my cutie mark forever."
One of the guards asks through the closed door, "What have you learned?"
The loudspeaker cries, "Change without pain is false. Before the new can be built, the old must be destroyed."
I answer, "That cutie marks are a curse and a lie -- nopony is anypony's better, and it is cruel to have ones fate dictated by their talents.
"And?"
"Disparity is the root of all evil. Remove disparity and only then can true harmony flourish." I don't know if I even believe myself. I mean, I can agree with the words, they're mine, but I just simply can't care so long as they get me out of this vapid hell I call my life.
The other voice beyond the door calls out, "Sunset Glimmer!"
She's here? Fear and elation leap to my heart. This beautiful, wise, psychotic banshee of a mare who lured me and trapped me in this hell so I may be transformed into a new pony, assuming I didn't die or go insane, first, and who's to say I haven't? Oh, that wonderful WITCH!
I hear her dulcet tones, "Has our guest agreed to join us?" Please, my lady, talk to me, the one who's at stake here!
"Indeed he has."
"Why?"
"Because he agrees with us that cutie marks are a curse which creates disharmony between others."
"Only between others, hmmm, sugar?" She postulates to me, her voice dripping venomous honey.
"I meant it like between everypony and everypony else!" I blurt out, pushing vainly at my door. Just a few words and I'm free! Free to be whatever remains of me.
"And what of the self?"
"The self, Star?"
"Uh-huh, sugar."
I choke. Crap!! What do I do? What do I say. "Well, the mind is just the superficial part of the self, so it can tie itself in metaphorical knots, you see...."
"Go on."
"But the heart's stubborn and slow to change. The mind is the words and deeds, but the heart is where the true inner self is."
"And when did you realize this?" Her voice, I now recognize the lack of warmth in it. I shiver.
"Only in the days since you enabled me to become enlightened, my lady." Make her feel good, make her feel important, maybe that'll buy her off if she's on the fence, I hope.
"And you believe what you're telling me?"
"Yes, yes, absolutely yes, milady."
A pause.. Dread surges up like a geyser before I hear the blessed witch speak. "Four days is a long time for the mind, but it is nothing for the heart." This is my last judgement.
"Star...?"
She doesn't even address me. "He doesn't really mean it; don't call me until he does." And with that, she forsakes me to my waking nightmare, too enlightened to go back, but unworthy of advancing a single step further. This is the fate I deserve. All I can do is await death, unless a miracle finds me first, but who would waste a miracle on an incurable sinner like me? There is nothing to do but wait for the end. It makes no difference now whether it is in shadow or sunlight. I shall never leave this place as who I was.
Author's Note
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