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Many millions of years ago, maybe even billions of years ago, there were no ponies. There were simply potatoes. Other creatures weren’t very evolved yet, so at the time, the potatoes were the most advanced form of life on the planet.

But nobody cares about potatoes. They’re boring.

So let’s fast forward another couple million years or so to the point where they’ve evolved into something a little more interesting: a race known as the derptatoes. This generation was slightly more intelligent than the previous, and had several new traits to better help them survive in the empty world. They started to grow limbs to enable transportation and, although not quite capable of individual thought, had some sense of self-awareness and took comfort in the presence of other derptatoes. They would separate into groups and live in different areas of the world.

When the first predators appeared, the derptatoes started developing defensive traits. Different groups of derptatoes began to develop unique colors to blend in with their surroundings and avoid detection. Some groups of derptatoes living in harsher environments developed traits such as fin-like protrusions on their sides to enable them to jump off of high places and glide safely down, spikes to defend themselves against attackers, and a furry outer layer to protect themselves from the cold. Sometimes, derptatoes would be separated from their group and be forced to find a different one. Their special group traits would then be passed into the next generation of their new group, giving them multiple special features.

At one point in time, the world suddenly had a dramatic decrease in temperature. All derptatoes without fur died out, and the remaining derptatoes needed to find a new way to reproduce because the ground was frozen solid. So they evolved into mammals.

They started producing children by giving birth, but they still had another problem. The unusual weather was very cloudy, and they could no longer receive energy from the sun. So they began to eat unintelligent plants.